Real Friends Classic - 319: My Choosiest Choice of All with Bill Lawrence

On this week's episode, Cox realizes he has a crush on the new doctor. In the real world, BILL IS BACK!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, Yeah, I'm gonna tell you something right now, Doug,
what twenty twenty one? You're doing your thing already? Holy shit, Yo,
they ain't not twenty twenty one, ain't not? Hey, not
messing around?

Speaker 2 (00:14):
Right up? Why what's this new camera angle? I don't
like it? Close up?

Speaker 1 (00:19):
I'm closer. I'm closer to the outside of the area
where my closet is. And so now I got the
Wi Fi is a little bit better over.

Speaker 2 (00:31):
Oh, I see do you have the box?

Speaker 1 (00:34):
I do have the box?

Speaker 2 (00:35):
Do you mean you didn't open it right?

Speaker 1 (00:38):
I forgot about it already.

Speaker 2 (00:40):
Okay, good.

Speaker 3 (00:40):
I'm gonna invite Bill in because he's here and he's
gonna be part of the live opening on the show.
Ladies and gentlemen have Bill Lawrence here. We always invite
Bill in early because he's special. Yeah, thunderous applause? Damn
do you like your thunderous applause?

Speaker 4 (00:59):
I need it on compliments.

Speaker 1 (01:01):
Hey, guys, Bill, you're the only person we allow in
early before before we sing the theme song because you're
so special. Well also because he might sometimes count in
and the theme song.

Speaker 3 (01:15):
But also Bill's so funny that we're like, no, we
want the whole show to be extra funny, so let
him do the whole thing.

Speaker 4 (01:21):
That is a lot of pressure. I mean, it's a lot.

Speaker 3 (01:23):
Of By the way, before we even start, I got
to say, this is a very funny episode.

Speaker 1 (01:28):
Yeah, yeah, I laughed a lot.

Speaker 3 (01:29):
I laughed out loud and had to pause and write
down laughing out loud because there's a lot of funny
shit in this episode.

Speaker 1 (01:36):
Quite a quite a few funny parts in this episode,
quite a few. Can I tell you what?

Speaker 4 (01:40):
I'll make you as laugh?

Speaker 5 (01:41):
Is it?

Speaker 4 (01:41):
Because you know I was, You were nice enough to
invite me late, And so it's a good challenge for
me to try and remember an episode without watching it
like I usually do beforehand. And I went to one
of the websites on Scrubs and just looking at the
pictures of it, I remember how funny the episode. One
of the pictures of Scott fully in the jukebox. Yeah,
Tara Reid was a cigarette. But yeah, like this episode

(02:05):
was insane.

Speaker 2 (02:06):
Yeah, it's insane, dude, Scott Scotland's it's very stoner. It's
a very stoner episode.

Speaker 3 (02:12):
Scott Foley and Sarah and and Elliott are playing hide
and seek in the bar and.

Speaker 1 (02:17):
And and no in the world, in the world.

Speaker 2 (02:19):
In the world. They run into they run into the bar.

Speaker 3 (02:22):
And because there were you're you're highlighting how cute a
couple they are together, and he goes, guys, guys, we're
playing hide and seek.

Speaker 2 (02:28):
No one tell her where I am. And then I go.

Speaker 3 (02:30):
She goes where is he? And I go, I don't
know he's and then I see it. He's in the
juke box. He's he's managed to get inside the juke box.

Speaker 1 (02:37):
But then he keeps the ship.

Speaker 2 (02:38):
And then and then I go, and then I go,
he's a dynamite hider.

Speaker 1 (02:46):
So dumb.

Speaker 2 (02:48):
It's so dumb, but I laughed out loud.

Speaker 1 (02:50):
I laughed, Yo, dude, Come on, there's so many funny
parts in this.

Speaker 2 (02:53):
There's so much funny ship.

Speaker 3 (02:55):
Wait before we start, we're gonna we have one special thing,
Bill that you're a part of. Donald is gonna live
opened his Christmas present that finally arrived.

Speaker 2 (03:03):
I'm very excited about this. Okay now, Bill.

Speaker 3 (03:07):
On the last episode, but you haven't heard yet because
it hasn't aired, we talked about how you probably know
about stock X because your kids are obsessed with sneakers.
So I got these on stock X for Donald. They
had to get certified of Matthew. Hey, all right, listen,
they've been their limited edition. This is very exciting. He's

(03:30):
opening everybody. He's opening.

Speaker 2 (03:34):
I didn't take the time to wrap it because who cares.

Speaker 1 (03:39):
And it says it on the outside. I just want
to put you out there with it. Oh buddy, buddy, buddy,
I have these already.

Speaker 2 (03:52):
No you don't, No, I don't. Holy shit, Holy sh
they're Orlando sneakers, their limited edition Lando cal Adidas, the.

Speaker 1 (04:13):
Best Star Wars character ever in the history. Start.

Speaker 2 (04:16):
Take him out. Take him out, dude.

Speaker 3 (04:17):
They say his favorite they say his lines on the
side of his most famous line on the side of
the shoe.

Speaker 1 (04:22):
Yeah, they've been opened already, so there's no reason because.

Speaker 3 (04:26):
They had to get they had to get approved, Bro,
they had to get they had to get verified.

Speaker 2 (04:31):
I can't believe you said you had him. I freaked out.

Speaker 4 (04:34):
That's my By the way, that's a well performed, very
well performed red shoes.

Speaker 1 (04:40):
Oh shit.

Speaker 3 (04:42):
Oh you got cities, dude, dude, you got Lando. You
got Lando on the tongue. But Donald, look at the
lines on the on the inside of the shoe, on
the side. It says, uh something about the ship, about
the falcon.

Speaker 1 (04:55):
You know, that ship saved my life quite a few times.
She's the fastest uncle junk in the ga.

Speaker 2 (05:02):
I love it.

Speaker 4 (05:03):
There you go, buddy, Wow, hey, Donald, that's from that's
from Zach and me.

Speaker 2 (05:08):
So we hope no, Bill, Bill.

Speaker 1 (05:13):
Well, you see how you see how that works. You
see how that works, guys, and you see what I
did automatically. I immediately thanked Bill. I just want to tell
you that, Joel and Daniel, that's the proper response when
someone says that's from Zach and I. That's how you
do it. This is how Bill, Bill.

Speaker 3 (05:30):
I gave Joel and Daniel presents, and of course Donald didn't.
And Donald tried to be like, that's from both of us,
and I was like, no, no, but you know what,
because it's Bill, Donald, that is from.

Speaker 2 (05:39):
Both of them.

Speaker 1 (05:40):
You know what'll make you know, to make you guys happy.

Speaker 4 (05:42):
The only the only shoe related gift I've ever been
part of is this is it'll circle back around. So
and maybe Donald know who this is. I'll have Henry
come tell us. Henry walked into my closet and he
saw the scrubs one hundredth episode Nikes. You know, I
had him unworn, untouched, and uh, and then he was
watching some whatever version of Cribs or whatever. But if

(06:04):
some hip hop artists or rapper was showing his shoe
collection and somebody in our crew must have sold those,
because he had the one of the shoes he highlighted on.

Speaker 6 (06:12):
These are these are the scrubs and yeah, these are
the scrubs one hundred nikes and they're priceless because they're ungettable.
And Henry processed that and I went back to my
closet and my shoes were gone.

Speaker 1 (06:26):
Checked this on there.

Speaker 4 (06:27):
Literally they're on a homemade display case in his closet, priceless.

Speaker 2 (06:31):
Next time its Donald's still got them. Well Donald wore
them minor on worn too nice scrubs one hundred. Sure
they're probably on eBay for some other crew members who
were like bugg It buggett before.

Speaker 1 (06:48):
We just about those shoes real quick. When you're when
you were coming up as an actor and you got
to do a lot of work when you were like
I got to do a lot of work as a
very very young actor, like uh, when I was before
I was anyone, I you know, I was paying for
high school and all of that shit, right, Uh, but
through acting and when you would get the crew gift,

(07:11):
you know, the crew jacket, that always was something right,
and you know, when you're young, you wear that shit
because you know you're proud of it and you want
everybody to see. My one mistake with those sneakers is
I wore them.

Speaker 4 (07:27):
Because Joelle just posted that there are two thousand bucks
online those shoes.

Speaker 1 (07:30):
Oh man, well that's probably not worn. I wore those things.

Speaker 2 (07:33):
Is it?

Speaker 4 (07:34):
Is it tacky for me to have about two hundred
pairs of those made real quick and then we just
fly that stuff out there.

Speaker 2 (07:43):
I mean, we'll do get things good. The money.

Speaker 1 (07:44):
Well, that's that's fly dude. It's it's still the scrub.
It's still the scrubs. Listen, dude, that would be dope anyway.

Speaker 3 (07:51):
Bill Bill's son, Henry he's talking about, is very into sneakers,
like a lot of teenage boys. And I was going
over their house and I took a moment to look
in my as I collect sneakers, and I was like,
I'm going to put on like a pair that will
really impress Henry. And I literally thought about this and
I put on a pair, and I was like, all right,
Henry's gonna notice and he's gonna think I'm cool, Uncle Zach.

Speaker 2 (08:11):
And I walk in the door, He's like, those are
the lamest version of those. Yeah, yeah, you raised the dick. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (08:25):
I didn't know if I could love him more because
my son.

Speaker 1 (08:34):
Like, oh god, I want.

Speaker 2 (08:36):
To just eat him up anyway, Donald, you better wear those.
Don't just put him on the closet.

Speaker 1 (08:44):
No, these will get these will be these will be
put to uh the test.

Speaker 2 (08:50):
I thought, I have land quotes on the side.

Speaker 4 (08:53):
Yes, Bill, I have a good quick thing to say
before as a way for one of you to count
yourselves in randomly, My wife and I saw Charlie Pooth
yesterday and he started talking about how much fun it
was to work with you two knuckleheads on this theme song. Yeah,
and then said he's like, I felt like it was

(09:14):
all of them, they're so talented. But he did say
I do feel like I was a huge champion of
making sure that they said the title of their podcast
in their theme song lyrics. He's like, dude, you got
to say what it is and that that to me.
It made me so happy. Now when I hear the
end of that song of the Zachdonald's scrubs is literally

(09:35):
word for word, Yeah, the most awkward possible title to
fit into a song.

Speaker 2 (09:42):
Well, we have a new challenge for Charlie. We're going
to do a dating.

Speaker 3 (09:44):
Segment for Joel and and we're gonna have to We're
gonna call up Charlie and have him write a little
segment segment song.

Speaker 1 (09:52):
That boy's voice is so silky. Bill, you remember your birthday? Yeah,
when he sang for your birthday, pitch you, guys, he's
got oh my gosh, one year ago when we could
all till years ago, two years ago.

Speaker 4 (10:06):
Two years ago, when you're you're I judge time by
my daughter's boyfriends and he was two years ago.

Speaker 2 (10:14):
Bill count us in because we America loves him when.

Speaker 4 (10:17):
You count all right, but you know I can't.

Speaker 2 (10:19):
I'm not.

Speaker 3 (10:20):
You have to be told not to. Donald, come on,
tell him, Hey, Billy doesn't want you to. Billy doesn't
want you to.

Speaker 5 (10:26):
All right?

Speaker 4 (10:27):
Ready, by way, is this the type of thing that
I could count it in? Or do you guys usually
do that?

Speaker 2 (10:31):
No, Bill, you cannot. It's only count you.

Speaker 1 (10:37):
Ever.

Speaker 7 (10:39):
Here's some stories about show we made about a bunch
of dogs and nurses. He said, he's a story new
yet here yead here.

Speaker 2 (11:03):
Bill.

Speaker 3 (11:04):
On Twitter today someone said I had no idea you
were involved with To me, I had no idea you
were involved with ted Lasso. I love it so much.
And I said, well, it was mostly me and Jason,
but we got some guidance from Bill, and I thought you.
I thought you'd appreciate that I'm spinning your podcast joke
for ted Lasso unacceptable.

Speaker 2 (11:24):
Tell us about.

Speaker 3 (11:24):
Hold on, Billy, please, we're doing a very famous podcast
right now.

Speaker 4 (11:29):
Tell us it's going to be awkward that your dog
and I have the same name. And I'm going to
answer Billy from now on. Whatever you say, hold on,
let me let my dog out.

Speaker 2 (11:37):
She's crying. Come on, Billy, please.

Speaker 8 (11:40):
While run a brief While run a brief break, Donald,
have you ever worn a pair of nmd's the style
of shoe that those Landos are. No, They're some of
the most comfortable shoes I've ever worn.

Speaker 1 (11:52):
I don't really, I've never really worn Adidas, to be
honest with you. The only pair of Adidas I've ever
owned were to Patrick Ewings back in the day. Okay,
cool before he had the ewings. I had the Patrick ewings.
They were orange, they were like the orange, white and blue.

Speaker 2 (12:07):
Hell yeah, Pat ewings back.

Speaker 1 (12:09):
I remember standing in a little tiny in my in
my mom's bathroom because she had the mirror with some
raggedy ass clothes on, but some clean ass pat and
ewing looking at the shoes like that ship made me
look good. And I got a haircut that day too.
I know I looked fly. I was like outside, I.

Speaker 3 (12:27):
Love it, very very funny show. And I still have
the striped sweater that I'm walking up to. The security
guard named IRV. Bill, you didn't get a chance to watch,
But I don't know if you recall I I do.

Speaker 4 (12:41):
I remember IRV because he I think he tried to
smother or kill someone.

Speaker 2 (12:45):
Yes, do so?

Speaker 1 (12:48):
Irv.

Speaker 3 (12:48):
IRV is the security guard which we've never seen before.
We've only seen Leonard Randall Winston with a hook hand
and an afro.

Speaker 2 (12:54):
And are we?

Speaker 1 (12:55):
Are we not going to do America's favorite?

Speaker 3 (12:57):
Sorry, let the dog out? And I got distracted, Donald, Yes,
please let me get my counter. I'm sorry America and Earth.

Speaker 1 (13:07):
Now I'm going to fuck up because no, you this
is all your fault.

Speaker 2 (13:12):
This is all your fault ready, Marczeta.

Speaker 1 (13:17):
Turk and Calla are joint at the hip. The janitor's
got a new job, Doctor Cox might have a crush.
Elliot and Sean have reunited, and JD makes out with
a cigarette. Breaking up is so so hard to do,
and no one ever really wants to waste someone's time.
But we also hate confrontation. To overcome this fear is

(13:37):
debilitating at times, and when it finally comes to a head,
if not taken care of early, it can cause an
awful mess. What's crazy is how fast the pressure is
relieved once you step up and face the situation. I've
learned bravery is way more rewarding than cowardice.

Speaker 2 (13:57):
Yes, Queen seconds for a graft guy.

Speaker 3 (14:01):
Yes, Well, the janitor is in a real sticky position
here because he's gott a nerve's job and he's his
main goal is the security guard is to guard these
one doors that that that that Kelso keeps breaking through
to go to his ca.

Speaker 1 (14:13):
Yeah someone right, he doesn't even know it for he
doesn't know it.

Speaker 4 (14:16):
That's agency exit. It's a fire hazard in.

Speaker 1 (14:18):
The hospital, right, That's it's so important to say that too,
or the joke doesn't or the or the joke doesn't
land like. He's a tough guy with uh Turk and
Karla about the situation. He's telling them how you know,
he can't wait to catch this for He's even asked
security to handle it, but they're more worried about the
people that are stealing and harvesting us.

Speaker 2 (14:39):
Yeah. I love that IRVS in charge of finding out
who's stealing organs from the hospital. But anyway, so the
janitor gets a has a friend who's a bank teller
or something, and he puts the one of the die
packs in the in the in the alarm somehow.

Speaker 1 (14:56):
But this is after the janitor gets the job, right,
So the janitor, the janitor gets irv's job because IRV
is now fired for smothering a patient or attempted murder.

Speaker 2 (15:05):
Yeah right, but who who away?

Speaker 3 (15:07):
You and you and Judy, You and Carla tackle IRV
and Judy sticks a need That was you and Judy,
You and Judy tackling IRV and putting a needle in
his neck was hilarious just because.

Speaker 2 (15:24):
The guy called him.

Speaker 4 (15:25):
The guy called him pudgy or something, right, right, Well.

Speaker 2 (15:27):
First of all, I'm jumping ahead.

Speaker 3 (15:28):
There's a really funny moment Bill when when JD IRV,
JD passes IRV and says morning Nerve, and JD's just
walking and someone parks in a red zone and that's
what the park.

Speaker 2 (15:38):
And even though JD's walking, Earth starts to run, but
because he's a heavy, heavy and old, he can't really
run that fast. But JD's just walking. And then you
see JD arrive and then the even though he was
running a Roden section.

Speaker 1 (15:54):
But wait, hold up, it's a very funny.

Speaker 2 (15:56):
It's a very funny joke because you see IRV run out.

Speaker 9 (15:59):
J Hey, I'll tell you some trivia that even scrumbs
Wiki guy won't know.

Speaker 4 (16:10):
I was excited when Zach, when you said which episode
it was, you said, my choosiest choice of all because
there's certain titles and certain keys that I can tell you,
even without remembering it right off the bat, that it
was going to be a goofy joke filled episode because
we would never you know, title one of the serious
episodes like that. And my choosiest choice of all was
because this is season three and we've been doing this

(16:32):
for a long time and this is right when and
you guys know, I bitch and moan, and this is
right when in the writer's room, I started to get
mad that all the voiceovers at the end of the
shows were like, at the end of the day, you
make decisions, and these decisions lead to choices, and those
choices affect the things that you do right right, And
so this exists because then I would riff. And those

(16:53):
choices are the hardest things you'll ever do, because sometimes
the cheosiest choice is the choosiest choice of a.

Speaker 2 (17:00):
Soh so when.

Speaker 4 (17:05):
I see a when I see a title like this,
I know it's one of our silly episodes.

Speaker 3 (17:10):
Well, that's funny that you say that, because it is.
You know, as the fans all know, some episodes, you
know that you span the spectrum in tone and some
are just packed with silliness and jokes, and this is
one of them. I mean, there's not a moment when
Turk and Carla aren't arm in arm for the whole episode,
except when the moment begins, you know, when you tackle
IRV and put a needle in his neck, and even

(17:32):
then you're together, but you don't have your arms around
each other.

Speaker 1 (17:34):
But even it all starts when you say, when you
ask for when you ask, do you ask them for
advice or do they just decide to give it?

Speaker 3 (17:42):
Yeah, there's some commentary like you don't want to ask
a couple who are about to get married because they
think they have advice on romance for everyone, and then.

Speaker 1 (17:51):
On and then all of a sudden they connect and
speak it at the same time, and from that moment
on they're together.

Speaker 4 (17:58):
That's really funny, and it's a little it's a little
precursor for Were Little Become.

Speaker 2 (18:04):
Was it Tarla or what was your name in Princess Bride? Right?
The fairy Tale episode?

Speaker 4 (18:10):
Uh connected Tarla?

Speaker 2 (18:12):
Tarla's right?

Speaker 1 (18:16):
So yo. I didn't remember this episode at all, like
I sincerely did not. I didn't remember one joke.

Speaker 2 (18:21):
From you have a big part of this episode, dude.

Speaker 1 (18:24):
I didn't remember. I got to tell you something. There's
something something was wrong with me this year because at
the rap party, Bellamy comes up to me and it's like, hey,
what a great year, and I'm and I didn't recognize
her and I was like, oh, yeah, dude.

Speaker 2 (18:38):
And I didn't say for not having too much weed.

Speaker 1 (18:41):
For not smoking weed?

Speaker 2 (18:42):
Yeah, Turla, sorry, it was Turla.

Speaker 4 (18:46):
You know what I remembered by the way, because I
remember things in terms of arguments that we had in
the writer's room and stuff, and I remembered one moment
because there was a contingency of people in the writer's
room that thought that Turk was too mean to say,
carl I would never sleep with your sister, she's hideous.

Speaker 2 (19:08):
Well, Danny's back and it's a funny so JD just
to remind him when because if she was to be different.

Speaker 1 (19:19):
Story.

Speaker 4 (19:19):
And by the way, they were correct, because remember the
argument the writers of the time was, aren't we eventually
going to have Carla's sisters on?

Speaker 1 (19:26):
And we did?

Speaker 4 (19:27):
You know, you guys got married eventually, and we had
those you know, you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (19:30):
So but none of them were hideous, though.

Speaker 2 (19:32):
They were babes. So just to remind the audience if
you haven't watched the episode recently, that JD's just had
a one night stand with Elliott and Sean has arrived
at their door, and so.

Speaker 1 (19:43):
Elli and has walked into their apartment.

Speaker 3 (19:45):
Yeah, he walked in, and so JD, to try and
make Elliott jealous, gets back together with Danny. Now there's
a funny line. I thought I early on when j
D says our voiceover. When you run into someone used
to date, you either find them annoying or enough time
has passed that you've idealized everything about them.

Speaker 2 (20:04):
I thought that was a.

Speaker 3 (20:05):
Really good line, Bill, because I think everyone can relate
to that, like when you run, when you run into
an ex it's it's a there's a fork in the road.
It's like, are you still like or are you like, Oh,
maybe they weren't so bad after.

Speaker 4 (20:18):
All, and maybe this maybe I made a huge mistake.
And then sometimes and that's what we were doing. Here,
you go, I made a huge mistake. It was a
different time, and you go, let's go out for drinks
and you have one nice night and then almost immediately
you're like, oh, no, no, this is the worst person
I've ever met.

Speaker 2 (20:36):
He quickly doesn't like her.

Speaker 3 (20:38):
I mean, he's just solely using her to try and
make Elliott jealous.

Speaker 1 (20:43):
And not even to make Elliot jealous. Elliott doesn't remember her.
He says that he's back with her. He gets upstairs
and she's like, oh, Danny, Danny, Danny, Danny, what's your
last name again?

Speaker 2 (20:53):
And you know I should know that.

Speaker 1 (20:54):
I should know that. And the blonde hair, Oh, and
then blod Hair like they're both trying to figure out
who Danny is, Like, dude, I was so dude, this
is like this is like perfect stoner humor, Like if
you are, if you are listen, if you have the

(21:15):
humor of someone who giggles or gets confused, and then
it's like, what the fuck just happened? This is the
show for you at this point, man, because we are
off the rails man.

Speaker 4 (21:26):
And there's a and there's a twenty person band in
the show.

Speaker 3 (21:32):
I don't know, you know, Bill, I know you got
the a m A certification for most Realistic Medical Show,
but I don't know that Cox would live like a
band in the Ica.

Speaker 4 (21:40):
Now, this one, by the way, worked backwards from the
song because you know, we always went search for songs.
We all loved that polyophonic band was so cool, right
and so kind of just such a vibe, and everybody
was like, screw it, let's figure out a way that
all bazillion of them are in here.

Speaker 2 (21:55):
It was really like they were like there were like
they were like platforms like cosider I mean coxent arrange
for like a PA system that.

Speaker 1 (22:02):
We're like, yeah, balloons dropped.

Speaker 3 (22:08):
Adam Bernstein directed this, by the Way, and Mike Schwartz
is the name on the script. There's a very funny
scene where JD has sex with Danny, and you're contrasting
the episode before there's been this, like, you know, clearly
like making love, like JD and Elliott are like it's
like beautifully done, like they're so into each other. Then
in this episode, she she tells him that she likes

(22:31):
it rough, and he's like, I don't really, and she's
like she screams at him, and he slaps her across
the face and he screams back.

Speaker 1 (22:39):
It looks like he punches her. It doesn't look like
he smacks her, and he.

Speaker 2 (22:42):
Goes, oh my god. He goes, oh my god, Danny,
I'm so sorry. I thought that's what you wanted. And
she's like it is hard and squeezes his nibbles. It's
like a pro wrestling match in bed.

Speaker 3 (22:55):
And then he comes out later and he's got air
shields are all puffy and read and he's cut scratch
marks across, just like us in a horror movie.

Speaker 2 (23:08):
And she's by the way. She's smoking and he goes,
you didn't used to smoke. She goes, I like smoking
after sex and he goes and during.

Speaker 1 (23:17):
And then she shrugs it off and she nods it off, like,
oh yeah.

Speaker 2 (23:21):
Danny's smoking waller. But anyway, I have a question, Bill,
I think Tara.

Speaker 3 (23:28):
Reid must have been a smoker. That must have been
the was that the inspiration for all this?

Speaker 1 (23:33):
Tara Reid was a smoker?

Speaker 2 (23:36):
She must she.

Speaker 1 (23:37):
I think she.

Speaker 2 (23:38):
I think she did being a dick sarcastic. Well, yeah,
so I think you wrote that in because I must.

Speaker 3 (23:43):
Have said, like, you know, Terror is great and everything,
but cigarettes and the cigarette breast and everything, like I'm
sewn into that, and you guys must have been like, okay,
we're running there.

Speaker 4 (23:51):
And by the way, let's you know, some props to
Terror Reid for being a young lady that embraced I'm like, hey,
let's do this ship that you just unapologetically this character.
She just went with it.

Speaker 2 (24:03):
Man, It was really she She loved it, by the way.

Speaker 3 (24:04):
She when we first had her on the show, she
was like, oh is this the one where I dresses
a cigarette?

Speaker 2 (24:08):
That was hilarious. And so she was totally game and
so funny.

Speaker 1 (24:11):
She had a lot of fun. You could tell she
was having a lot of fun.

Speaker 3 (24:13):
The way when I make out with her as a
cigarette in the fantasy and then I exhale smokers, then.

Speaker 2 (24:26):
It's so funny. But that's what it feels like to
make out with a smoker.

Speaker 1 (24:30):
Did you guys, did you guys have conversations in the UH?
Because I I I this, This tripped me out. Also,
the janitor is now a security guard. But are we
still calling him the janitor in the show.

Speaker 2 (24:43):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't even think it's the
Janitor's just Janet Janet Jana.

Speaker 4 (24:48):
The best, you know, the best version of that for
all time is it's still and you guys now have
to look for it. Sarah Chalk's funniest line reading whenever
she's in a one on one scene with him.

Speaker 1 (24:58):
She's Janitor, Janitor.

Speaker 2 (25:01):
Every season it got highed, it was by by.

Speaker 4 (25:06):
So I have to know, way I have to Daniel Joe,
you smokers.

Speaker 1 (25:11):
For like a little bit in early college.

Speaker 8 (25:14):
Literally the exact same when I thought it would.

Speaker 1 (25:16):
Be to marijuana like sophomore here.

Speaker 2 (25:19):
It never looked back. Did you ever smoked cigarettes? Bill?

Speaker 1 (25:22):
No?

Speaker 4 (25:22):
No, I was cool on my own. The UH.

Speaker 2 (25:31):
Didn't need to pay money for my coolness.

Speaker 1 (25:34):
But you have smoked a cigarette before.

Speaker 2 (25:36):
Yeah, I've done most everything before.

Speaker 4 (25:38):
Donald.

Speaker 2 (25:39):
I mean, let's be honest.

Speaker 4 (25:42):
I'm an old man.

Speaker 2 (25:43):
I don't go down that road with you.

Speaker 3 (25:47):
I'm so one of one of the regrets of my
life is that I never met single partying Manhattan Bill.
I save it if I had a time machine, If
I had a time machine and I could Like, we're
watching a show called Dark on Netflix. Now it's all
about time too, and it's it's really interesting and I
recommend is it theory?

Speaker 1 (26:07):
Is it theory?

Speaker 2 (26:09):
What does that mean theory?

Speaker 5 (26:10):
Like?

Speaker 1 (26:10):
Does it make you have to think about theory or
or or.

Speaker 3 (26:12):
Or It's very Yeah, I'm sure if you're smarter than
I am, you can you It's very deep and I
can't keep track of it. I have to pause and
be like to go to Florence and be like, wait,
who is he now? Because it's all jump it's jumping
lots of years.

Speaker 1 (26:25):
No, but I mean, are they are they using are
they using time travel as a like? Are they can
theoretically explain how it's happening? You know what I mean?
Like and back to the future. They gave you an
excuse and it's easy to follow it because.

Speaker 2 (26:41):
It's about wormholes. It's about wormholes. But it's one of
those shows.

Speaker 3 (26:44):
It's a German show, and it's clearly written by very
very bright people, and and it's one of those shows
where I think, if you're super smart scientist, time travel person,
you can appreciate on a different level than I am.
I'm the one pausing asking my girlfriend, wait, what just happened?
Because but but anyway, I'm not. It's still really good.
It's like it's like Lost in a way, the show
Lost in a way in that it's very mysterious and good.

Speaker 2 (27:06):
But I digress.

Speaker 3 (27:08):
My sentence was, if I could time travel, I would
like to visit with single partying twenty something built in
New York City.

Speaker 4 (27:16):
That you look. That's a lot like running in to
an ex girlfriend there to bring it all back, which
is now in retrospect their fun memories.

Speaker 1 (27:24):
But there's there's.

Speaker 4 (27:26):
Also the reality of like, oh my god, this guy's
relentlessly annoying. Why are you talking so fast?

Speaker 2 (27:31):
Why is that bleached blonde hair guy talking so fast?
So I don't want to go to your party?

Speaker 4 (27:38):
It's dude, I mean, he's not saying anything funny, but
he thinks he's really funny. Yeah, it's pretty bad, pretty bad, I've.

Speaker 3 (27:48):
Heard, I've heard wonderful anecdotes. So the janitor says that
he has his own night stick, and he hasn't because
his father, Donald, you the best set up here was
the most classic alley l oops.

Speaker 2 (28:00):
You guys like it. I'm using the term allion. Jannity goes,
you know, it's my fight, got this nice stick my
father And Donald goes, was he a police officer? And
he goes, No, he was a cat trainer.

Speaker 4 (28:17):
By the way, no one was ever that happy, but
Neil Fuinn embraced it about we had a weird thing
with the janitor of there's a real intense dislike of
animals in there. And I don't know if you guys
noticed that he has a dead squirrel army. He made
a rabbit into a Sultan pepper shaker.

Speaker 3 (28:35):
Yeah, I think the rabbit was a pepper grinder, Bill,
because you would you would spin the rabbit's head. I
don't think you could make this joke in twenty twenty one, Bill.

Speaker 1 (28:45):
But you'll think so.

Speaker 5 (28:46):
Either.

Speaker 3 (28:46):
The propmaster took a taxidermy bunny and I had put
it on a pepper grinder and just took off the
head so that the head would spin to grind.

Speaker 2 (28:57):
That's one prop. I'd really liked that.

Speaker 4 (29:00):
But also, I don't know if you remember, because I
could have This is a show I still feel like
I would watch today, even if I didn't sell it myself.
Once we established that Neil the Janitor had a squirrel army,
we would have taxi dermy squirrels in his garage. We
would occasionally just have him see a squirrel in a
different episode and he would make eye contact with it.

(29:21):
He's a wrong day, wrong time, my friend. He would
throw like a blanket over it, and then you would
always cut to him in his garage having meetings with
some taxi derby squirrels.

Speaker 1 (29:37):
I would watch that all day.

Speaker 2 (29:38):
Oh my god, I remember that episode where it cut
to him lecturing the taxim squirrels. So many of them, Yeah,
and a lot of them had different points.

Speaker 4 (29:47):
And he would say, I understand that, Keith, but that's
not what we're doing right now.

Speaker 3 (29:51):
They were all We got to have Neil back on Joel, Joel,
will you remind me, and let's let's let's find an
episode that's that he has a lot to do This
would have been a a funny one, but we got
to remember it.

Speaker 1 (30:03):
He says. He says, you know, my, my, my dead
raised cats, trained cats. And then after that he's walking
away and I go, yeah, right, and he comes running
back in with this thick.

Speaker 2 (30:19):
And then he says something like you guys stay, you guys,
stay here as though it's dangerous, and he walks off.

Speaker 3 (30:26):
All right, So I wanted to say, so I have
sex with Danny. And then I come in the living
room and you guys are being all judgmental, and you go,
you know you're Danny's in there, and I'm like, no, no, no,
it's my buddy, my buddy from the gym, Danny, and
you go, I.

Speaker 2 (30:40):
Heard you say take it all, Danny. And there's a
long pause and I go, he's a really good buddy.

Speaker 1 (30:48):
Hey.

Speaker 4 (30:49):
Awkward thing that I always have to do on my podcast.
We got to go to break right quick.

Speaker 2 (30:54):
Bill, you're not supposed to read that.

Speaker 9 (30:56):
That's for the hosts of the show.

Speaker 1 (30:59):
You know what I was. I was trying to beat
him to it, but he beat me to it. I
just want to see to it.

Speaker 3 (31:05):
Listen, you guys, we don't have many rules. The chat
is for the host Bill argue.

Speaker 2 (31:11):
All right, Bill, send us break.

Speaker 4 (31:14):
We'll be right back after this break.

Speaker 1 (31:22):
Dude. I saw that coming. I was like, Yo, we
should go to I was about to say we should
go to break, and Bill beat me to it. And
then right.

Speaker 3 (31:30):
Away the producer notes from the guests to it, because
occasionally we will have a guest with the audacity to
read the producer note.

Speaker 1 (31:41):
Dude, because listen, this is how it was. I was
gonna punctuate your joke with and with that, We'll be
right back.

Speaker 3 (31:53):
So then Danny, Danny comes in the living room and
she goes some skank just called and I told her
to back off. Her name is Deborah or whatever, and
I'm like, yeah, that's my mom. So Phil, I have
to ask you you have it's a tricky thing for
you because you have your wife on the show and

(32:15):
Cox is telling there's like a thing where doctor Miller.
Cox has a crush on doctor Miller. But like that
would mean that his eye is straying from the glory
that is your beautiful wife.

Speaker 2 (32:24):
Was that is that weird to write?

Speaker 3 (32:26):
Like do you have to tell Christa Like, oh, just
see you know this week Cox is gonna have a
crush on someone other than you.

Speaker 4 (32:33):
No, there's two things. One was I'll tell you the
funny one at the end. But the one thing was
we wanted to do like the mature female version of
where your Relationships at, which just acknowledging that, like people
find other people attractive people, you know, And so I
really liked that. I remember there's a joke in this
with like doctor Cox is like, if people ask me

(32:53):
if we're married, I say, no, what do you say?

Speaker 2 (32:56):
Oh?

Speaker 4 (32:56):
I say, we were married for a long time and
then we split up, but now we have a child
to get and we're in a committed relationship and it's
great and amazing, you know. And he's like, oh yeah,
and sometimes I say that. But the other joke, no
joke is christ and I used to joke around how
work is the only place I can tell her what
to dress and what to say and how to look
and stuff. And so part of this was me going

(33:18):
it might be sexy for christab blond hair. And so
the end of this episode, if you remember, was as
a wink to him. She kind of changed. She didn't
do it all the way and we had to help
it with a lighting effect, but she changes her hair
at the end of this, and I remember, just from
a total you know, in love husband thing, going, what
a cool, corny excuse to have my wife mix her

(33:40):
look up? And that was really fun for me.

Speaker 2 (33:42):
That's fun cool. I was just thinking of Christa being like, no,
Cox is not going to have a crush on someone.

Speaker 4 (33:49):
Yeah, no one, No one would think of anything. Yeah,
she keeps zack. She can't play that way. How many
times has Krista told you in front of me who
she is flat out in love with and believes that
she should have, you know, a free pass for unacceptable?

Speaker 2 (34:02):
I remember, I don't know, did you tell the Clooney story?

Speaker 7 (34:04):
How?

Speaker 2 (34:04):
How?

Speaker 5 (34:04):
Uh?

Speaker 1 (34:05):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (34:06):
That was one of our first big Fightsley was her Clooney?
Was her her hall pass? Quote unquote.

Speaker 4 (34:15):
Chris and I when we were dating, joked around about like,
who's your free pass, you know, like if you run
into them, you're allowed to hook up with them without
the other person complaining. And I said, whoever mine was?
I even remember? And then Christa said George Coliney, which
a typical answer. So I didn't care, but I didn't
put it together that the Drew Carey Show and Er
were both Warner Brothers shows, and literally like a week later,

(34:36):
I came to work and she was sitting on her
trailer stairs with George Clooney having a coffee, and I'm like,
I'm like, you can't pick somebody that you see every day.
I feel like I feel like that's not part of
the game. And She's like, no, we were just doing
free passes. I'm like, no, it was so insane.

Speaker 2 (34:55):
No, no, it would hit know your free pass. It
has to be like, that's unachievable.

Speaker 4 (35:00):
Yeah, you can't just have come with a conversation from
your free pass and say, you know who my free
pass is?

Speaker 1 (35:09):
Past? Who brought up the free pass?

Speaker 7 (35:11):
Oh?

Speaker 4 (35:12):
No, it might have been me?

Speaker 1 (35:12):
So fuck.

Speaker 2 (35:16):
Hey, Bill, this is my free past. George Clooney, he
speak of George Clooney. Bill. Do you think Richard Kine
would come on the show?

Speaker 4 (35:24):
I do, and I think it would be super duper
fun you know, he's oh.

Speaker 3 (35:28):
Right, Joelle, let's get Richard Kine because he's in three
twenty coming up, and he's so funny and I and
I think audience would love him. And it is a
bit of funny trivia that of all people in the world,
he's George Clooney's best friend. I would have gotten that
wrong on every quiz.

Speaker 4 (35:46):
But by the way, never, you know, on a show
that we do so much with just the people that
live in our worlds, never has a guest star come
in and been somebody that we've all quoted so much.

Speaker 1 (35:55):
Still, I've got yaba yea. I have been to the zoo.

Speaker 2 (35:59):
Go on, I have been to two go on.

Speaker 1 (36:02):
Continue continue.

Speaker 4 (36:04):
That would make me, That would make me super happy
I have.

Speaker 3 (36:07):
I just love that guy. I he's one of those
people that I see and I just start laughing.

Speaker 2 (36:12):
He was on a show.

Speaker 3 (36:12):
I don't know if you guys ever watched the show
that's very funny. There's only one season because of I
think they stopped because of COVID, but it was called
The the Other the other two? Is that what it's
called you, I'll double check for me. It's kind of
a thirty rock tone silliness. But it's about a kid
that becomes like a Justin Bieber superstar and his two
fuck up siblings, and Richard Kine plays one of their agents.

(36:35):
And you know, he just has a small part, but
every time he's on screen, you just started hysterically laughing.

Speaker 4 (36:41):
That guy is money as his instant laughs and he
can really act.

Speaker 1 (36:46):
About say, he's a really good actor too.

Speaker 4 (36:49):
Yeah, rock star love that dude.

Speaker 1 (36:51):
I was a little quot off guard that Kelso was
trying to sabotage the hospital until he explained why he
was sabotaged in the hospital. That was something that kind
of threw me, like when that was a dun dun
dum moment, and it like I was confused, and then
what do.

Speaker 4 (37:06):
You mean he's trying to stabat the hospital and he
was he was taking the emergency thing off the door
because he gets to his car quicker.

Speaker 1 (37:13):
Yeah, well it wasn't.

Speaker 2 (37:14):
I remember his reason.

Speaker 4 (37:16):
His reason is one of the most disturbing jokes we
ever made.

Speaker 1 (37:20):
Ken say, you guys have to get home before enid
So because if he if he if he if he doesn't,
he has to peel her something leotard. He has to
get home. She's done the dance class or something like that, she.

Speaker 4 (37:37):
Has a spin class or something, and if he doesn't
get home before her, he has to help peel off
her leotard.

Speaker 2 (37:43):
And I think it was really.

Speaker 4 (37:46):
It's really it's really an upsetting joke because you know,
why because he loves Enid. Man, we did that joke
too many times. I think he loves his wife.

Speaker 2 (37:53):
I don't think whether he loves it. He has so
much mean things to say about Enid.

Speaker 1 (37:58):
Yeah, like I don't think.

Speaker 4 (38:00):
By the way, the worst one ever was when that
Baxter and Enid had divided the house into equal size
and Enid had ventured into Baxter's side of the house
and he just said, he just said, all you got
to do is scare him away, is make a real aggressive,
sudden move. He says, go, and then you just hear
a dog growling and biting and he hangs up laughing.

(38:20):
So he had his y, his dog attacker.

Speaker 1 (38:26):
Horrible, horrible buddy.

Speaker 2 (38:29):
But does he love Enid Bill, I just don't know.
I mean, I don't know what.

Speaker 4 (38:33):
The Yeah, you know what's weird. We talked a lot
about it. I think he we never would have been
able to do any of this stuff. It's so interesting
in television shows. If Enid existed, and if you ever
saw a person, a sweet woman, a character or whatever,
I don't think I think we would immediately go and
he loves her. They're okay, and he is all full
of shit, But with a second. In any type of

(38:56):
creative narrative that you don't ever meet the person in question,
it gives you such license to be horrific or funny
or bizarre and stuff. So it's not unlike, Look, you
guys know the show that started. I mean, it's it's
Norman Vera.

Speaker 2 (39:09):
And Cheers, right exactly.

Speaker 4 (39:12):
The only one I remember after Norm and Vera from
Cheers was I remember the guy on Home Improvement, which
I didn't watch a lot. They did such great effort
to always block his face.

Speaker 2 (39:22):
Yeah, I forget what his name was. What was his name,
Daniel Wilson. Wilson was, Yes Wilson was the guy behind
the fence, Yes Wilson. Anyway, it is called The Other
Two Guys. I found it now that my friend Helena
York is on it. I highly recommend you guys watch.
I laughed my ass off and I thought, I wish
there was more episodes, but there. I guess they're on

(39:43):
pause because of.

Speaker 1 (39:44):
Are Jordan and Cox married at this point?

Speaker 4 (39:47):
They are not, but I have to be careful about
that because we do an episode at some point they
find out that their divorce wasn't official, so they get
redivorced and if you guys haven't done that episode yet,
then they are technically still married. Do you guys remember
doing a podcast on that episode?

Speaker 2 (40:03):
Yeah, no, I actually know.

Speaker 3 (40:06):
When Bellamy came in, I went, oh, is this going
to be a love interest for Cox and Donald was like, no,
he's not. He's in a relationship with with Jordan. And
then and then this episode started to be like, oh,
but they start to have a thing. I didn't remember
what happened between the.

Speaker 1 (40:18):
Yeah, you know.

Speaker 4 (40:19):
What it was is just that we enjoyed for him
doing a you know, as he gets closer to Jordan,
that very traditional, lots of fears and lots of pulling away.
So much so it's the precursor to the episode. This
episode helped us with the episode that they're doing great
as a couple, but when they find out that they
aren't actually divorced, that it was screwed up and they're

(40:40):
still technically married, they start to fall apart again. And
that's coming up later.

Speaker 1 (40:44):
Is that what this is a question, is that what
the purpose of Bellamy's character was on the show. It
just seems like that character was there and then all
of a sudden she was gone. Like really no, you
know what it was is uh?

Speaker 4 (40:58):
I think and I can go back, but I think Bellamy,
you know, started much like gift Shop Girl I remember
her name, that got a bunch of work on Chuck
and stuff. Sarah Lancaster Is just was somebody that immediately
started to get work and get other shows. I think
she joined us because Charles was unavailable and we liked
you having a superior Charles Chung. You know, we played

(41:20):
doctor when we didn't have him for one year section
at one point due to health issue that he had
an accident and broken in one point due to him
doing a movie or something, and then he came back
to our world. So it was at least initially a
product of be nice for.

Speaker 1 (41:37):
Turk to have a.

Speaker 4 (41:38):
Boss, you know.

Speaker 2 (41:39):
And then you.

Speaker 4 (41:41):
Know, we weren't really going to do the romance thing
because Cox was with Jordan just wanted to have that
kind of be an episode real quick.

Speaker 3 (41:46):
And also she was a good foil for Cox because
even if there wasn't going to be a romance or
a very mild one, she was like a tough cookie
and a woman and someone who had you know.

Speaker 1 (41:57):
Some biggest titties. Wait, that's what that's what That's what
Turk says when he's freaking in the thing with titties,
he goes in some big ass boobies. That's exactly what
he says.

Speaker 3 (42:12):
I don't think I think you could say boobies on NBC,
but not titties.

Speaker 1 (42:16):
And joke up.

Speaker 4 (42:18):
I was about to say it should come hand in
hand with the disapproving headshake you got from Joel.

Speaker 1 (42:24):
Either way, it was fantastic, but that's what it was from.
You guys are thinking, I'm trying to freaking make a
sexist joke. But it's from the show.

Speaker 2 (42:33):
It's from the show Your Face.

Speaker 4 (42:36):
You know what I love, by the way, and Bellamy
is a great example of it. I always love when
I because of you guys, and I am so grateful.

Speaker 1 (42:42):
And it's your.

Speaker 4 (42:43):
Podcast, which is annoying. It's Dan l Joel's and Donald's podcast.

Speaker 2 (42:50):
It's Zach Zach's and Zach's and Zach's.

Speaker 4 (42:54):
And I'm so grateful to get to occasionally come on
it and see it and talk to talk to you
guys about and listen to it. I go to sleep
with into it. One of my favorite things that my
favorite thing about watching these old episodes are we when
you see actors and actresses that we caught at a
certain point in their lives, their careers, not like Richard
Kind who had already done a bunch of stuff, like
Bellamy who had gone to become you knows, yeah you

(43:17):
know what I mean. So, or Sarah Lancaster who was
suddenly you know, or Massi you know, who was on.

Speaker 2 (43:23):
In Heroes, or d Franco or.

Speaker 4 (43:27):
To me, that's so fun, you know, to see the
people that can you know, crossed our world and then
went on to not necessarily bigger and better things, but
is kind of more fun for themselves career, know, and
to see him get his foot in the door like
that and then to do what he did with it.

Speaker 2 (43:45):
But it was fun, man, That's why.

Speaker 4 (43:47):
That's why they like seeing bell It's fun.

Speaker 1 (43:49):
It really is interesting the people that were on Scrubs,
Like you guys probably don't remember this, but what's the
gentleman's name that's married to Sophia Bogara?

Speaker 4 (43:59):
Oh yeah, yeah, he was a football play and dude
that tortured Zach.

Speaker 1 (44:03):
He was on Scrubs. He had he was on Scrubs before.

Speaker 4 (44:06):
He was in True Blood.

Speaker 1 (44:07):
Yeah, yeah, he was in True Blood. He wasn't in
True Blood yet either. I ran into him.

Speaker 4 (44:11):
Before No, no, I mean after that after.

Speaker 1 (44:13):
Yeah, he went to Ganello.

Speaker 3 (44:15):
Yeah, he was in a segment where I he was
like a jock, right and he was He said something
like let's all go bang or something like like they
turned out they were what the joke was.

Speaker 4 (44:28):
Yeah, and uh, I remember seeing him on that show
as a young dude.

Speaker 2 (44:32):
Uh.

Speaker 4 (44:33):
You know, it's just it's just fun with all these
people that kind of cross pass that way. Eliza kop
who went on to star in nine Thousand Different Things.
I think we were one of our first gigs, you know.

Speaker 1 (44:42):
Mh.

Speaker 4 (44:43):
She was awesome. Just makes me happy.

Speaker 3 (44:47):
So JD just really, you know, there's this one little
subplot we could talk about about how j D and
Danny are staying together solely because they don't want to
be alone. And I think that there's probably a lot
of people can relate to that, maybe now more than
during a pandemic, when they're just like, all right, I'm
so over you, but you're just you're my pandemic buddy.
I can't date anybody else. Dooms Dane give him a

(45:13):
booms but you're.

Speaker 4 (45:15):
You're totally right though, Zach And look, this episode was
supposed to be joky, but because you asked about the
doctor Cox, I distinctly remember, especially since we had Donald
and Judy being the couple attached that hip. Tell everybody
why they suck is we were trying to parallel all
those things of one universal being alone, you'll almost rather

(45:36):
be with somebody horrific than be alone with two. If
you aren't alone, you're able to also defeat yourself by going,
oh my god, I'm getting more and more dependent on
this person. I need to sabotage it immediately, doctor Cox,
you know what I mean. And it's it's.

Speaker 3 (45:52):
And then Elliot and then the other thing, which is like, oh,
we're long distance, so we barely ever see each other,
so we can be we can be exciting and and
and and into it in two week intervals, because who
can't be their best self for two week intervals? You
know they were, There were like all these different examples.
But I feel like a lot of people can relate
to being in something and feeling stuck and and I

(46:15):
bet now more than ever where they're just like, ugh,
I don't want to be alone.

Speaker 1 (46:20):
So even though you think it's do you think it's
that or do you think it's because a lot of
people fear confrontation, and that's something that you just don't
want to deal with.

Speaker 3 (46:30):
Confrontation, I'm sure, And and and the drama of a
of a breakup, which is always horrible, especially if it's
a long relationship. But I just think that there's a
lot of people who and now, like I said, now
more than ever because of the pandemic, are kind of like,
all right, this has to end, but like this is
fine for now, and I'm just going to endure it.

(46:51):
And yeah, I don't want to be alone. I don't
want to be alone. And I think that JD, and
I think JD in this situation is like the love
of my life, I've realized, is making out with a
guy that looks like Scott Foley and she seems so
happy and here I am and I've got Danny and
she's just so not for me. But I don't want
to be alone, so she's fine.

Speaker 4 (47:08):
You know, it would be bad for Donald and I
to agree with this in any way as too happily
married guy.

Speaker 1 (47:17):
I don't think that's what I honestly don't think that's
what it is. I think, yeah, sure, he doesn't want
to be alone, but he keeps telling her to go away,
you know what I mean, And so it's not really
he doesn't want to be alone. It's just that I don't.

Speaker 4 (47:30):
I don't.

Speaker 1 (47:31):
It's it's it's hard to explain, like, I don't. I
don't know. I think the pressure of her being around
I don't. I'm gonna be honest with you, I don't.
I don't know the answer to that, but I do
know that it's really weird for him to say I
don't want to be alone and then tell her to

(47:52):
go away.

Speaker 2 (47:53):
Well, because he finally has enough.

Speaker 1 (47:54):
I mean, she's no, no, no, I mean why, I
mean while before that, before, like, they're at the bar
and he's like, and this is how the whole conversation
comes up. They're at the bar and he goes, hey,
you want to play darts? And she's like yeah. He's like,
all right, go over there, there's the border.

Speaker 2 (48:08):
He over there darts, Yeah, all right, it's over there.

Speaker 1 (48:13):
And she turns around and she's like and she's like,
do you really have that? Are you really that miserable
when you're around me? And he's like, I don't know whatever.
She says something like that. He's like, I don't know,
and that's how the conversation starts. So I don't know
if it's that he's alone, he's scared to be alone
because he keeps telling how to get the fuck out
of here.

Speaker 3 (48:33):
Well, one thing I like about Danny is she says
something that I that I liked, which is when she's
smoking in bed, he goes.

Speaker 2 (48:40):
Well, you never used to smoke, Like, what's going on?

Speaker 3 (48:42):
She goes, well, I before me dated, I was trying
to be like my best self and I'm putting on
like this character for you. But this time I think
I'm just gonna be like unabashedly myself. And and JD's like,
sees who this incarnation of a person is. He wants
nothing to do with it. But you know, I think
it's just fueled by by feeling insecure or looking over
at Elliott and and want and trying to make Elliott jealous,

(49:03):
not wanting to go home and be sad and lonesome.

Speaker 4 (49:07):
Yeah, and by the way, let's be honest, it's I
think there's a line. It's easy to be with somebody
that you with if you're not mistreating them. Or they're
not mistreating you. It's easy to be with someone you
don't like. You know, there's nothing really at stake, you know,
And I guarantee you between the five of us, we
were all at some point in our lives with a
relationship with somebody that we didn't you know, if some

(49:30):
part of the gun to our head and said do
you care if this ends?

Speaker 2 (49:33):
That we'd be like nah, no. But it's just do
you think when the pandemic do you think when the
pandemic's over, like truly over, there's just going to be
a slew of divorces and breakups.

Speaker 1 (49:43):
Absolutely, I'm surprised you haven't happened yet.

Speaker 2 (49:46):
No, I'm sure. I'm sure it is happy.

Speaker 3 (49:48):
I bet if you saw a graph of like separation
divorce rates, so it's climbing. But I just think, like,
it's obviously not going to happen on a day. But
if it happened, they were like October first, we have
officially conquered COVID.

Speaker 2 (49:59):
It's over. October Second, people be like peace that's around,
by the.

Speaker 4 (50:03):
Way, should someone should do? Like a New Yorker cartoon
of a married couple getting their vaccines together, and she's
like he is like, finally the vaccine, and she's like,
I want a divorce, all.

Speaker 3 (50:17):
Right, Joelle, we probably need to go to break. I know,
I know it's Bill's job to tell everyone.

Speaker 4 (50:22):
And Bill, you have got a couple more second we
got we got a couple more seconds for break. Bill,
you have to go, I do, I do have to go.
I have to go, guys, I have to go make
television happen.

Speaker 1 (50:33):
I was about to say, how many shows you got
coming this year?

Speaker 4 (50:35):
A bunch of shows coming?

Speaker 2 (50:38):
Read the next time.

Speaker 3 (50:39):
If everyone not in the business. Deadline is the is
sort of the most popular trade website and uh and
it announces things that have happened to people. And if
a day goes by without Bill Lawrence getting another show,
I think Deadline's broken.

Speaker 2 (50:51):
It's crash.

Speaker 4 (50:52):
I'll do that some other time with you, guys.

Speaker 1 (50:54):
I'm enjoying this.

Speaker 4 (50:55):
Vibe too much and the holidays and Zach, that was
a very nice present you got. Donald and Donald A
love to the joke version of it.

Speaker 3 (51:03):
But I'm proud of you Donald that in front of Bill,
you sold the ship out of that joke and fooled me.

Speaker 2 (51:07):
That's a great moment, but it was mean you don't
know how much fucking work I put into getting those shoes.

Speaker 1 (51:12):
Can I tell you? Can I tell you? This is
why my wife and Bill are like soulmates from another
universe and it will never happen in this universe. Bill,
I'm just put it out there, but there's so many
it's from another universe.

Speaker 2 (51:24):
Why she would do that ship She's the.

Speaker 1 (51:26):
One that told me to do it. I was like this, yeah, mean,
she was like me and I know, And when she
said that, I was like, That's something Bill would have
told me to do.

Speaker 2 (51:35):
That's so mean, you know Bill.

Speaker 3 (51:37):
I always say to Bill and Christa that they met
at mean camp because they love a mean They love
a mean joke.

Speaker 4 (51:43):
But if you have a backboard of love, if you
know it comes from a place of love, it's okay. Look,
I also want to say, not only am I grateful
for this podcast, but I do want to tell Donald
and Joel that my son Henry, who is you know,
as much of a Star Wars Psychotic as as as
you all did, take the time as he was building

(52:03):
his lego Baby Yoda to say, even though he's not
super down with this podcast, he would definitely make the
Star Wars podcast a weekly thing.

Speaker 2 (52:16):
In his life.

Speaker 1 (52:17):
So thank you so much.

Speaker 2 (52:21):
I'm what I am. I'm mad by the way.

Speaker 4 (52:25):
It hurt my heart.

Speaker 1 (52:25):
Zach.

Speaker 4 (52:28):
He I like him though, because he watched Scrubs beginning
to end, and my eldest son will not only will
we not watch it, but it's a position of pride
he's now because he's already gone through the office and
parks and rec and now he's just finding, like other
series at the time to watch. I'm like, dude, watch Scrubs.

Speaker 2 (52:45):
But he does.

Speaker 3 (52:45):
But they both love but they both are are are
jocks and they both love Ted Lasso.

Speaker 4 (52:51):
I assume they got sucked in by Ted Lasso because
it's sports. But anyways, Happy holiday, Happy New Year, Thank
you guys.

Speaker 2 (52:58):
I love you, I'm back, I love you Bill and
gonna go to break and we'll be back and we're
bad and we're by the way.

Speaker 3 (53:12):
I Peloton today and I got to say, Cody had
me laughing my ass off.

Speaker 1 (53:17):
He's which one did you do?

Speaker 3 (53:19):
I did one to Its pretty recent if you're on Peloton,
it's within a couple of weeks or it's definitely it
might even be this year. I don't know, but it
was a it was a you know pop ride, you
know pop music ride thirty minutes and he just had
me laughing. And where Florence are in the gym, She's
looking over me and I'm spinning. She's like, why are
you laughing? I'm like, this guy is hilarious.

Speaker 2 (53:41):
He's funny.

Speaker 1 (53:42):
He makes me laugh.

Speaker 2 (53:43):
I think you should have I think we should him
on the podcast.

Speaker 1 (53:45):
I would love to have Cody on the podcast.

Speaker 3 (53:47):
Because you know what I wouldn't normally like just think
of a random health, you know, fitness instructor.

Speaker 2 (53:52):
But because I think he was a stand up.

Speaker 1 (53:54):
Is that his thing? Is that what he did?

Speaker 3 (53:56):
I think he was a stand up. By the way,
I loved that I before I took a lot of
Cody claps. That's his question that he might be gay
or not, because this class he's the gayest gay ever.

Speaker 2 (54:05):
It's so funny.

Speaker 3 (54:06):
He's talking about Vegas and he's like, because he was
playing that song Waking Up in Vegas, Miley Cyrus is
that the song? And he's talking about how as a
gay guy, He's like, Vegas is not made for me,
because you know it's all about they give all the
hot chicks free entrance into the club, and they're trying
to make me pay forty bucks and I ain't trying
to pay forty bucks to get in the club. And

(54:27):
he went on this, he went in this whole rant.
It was so funny. Anyway, there were different things. There
were multiple times was like, you're you guys, you're working
out and you're sweating your ass off, but you're also
laughing because the guy's like a former stand up comedian.

Speaker 1 (54:39):
Well, a lot of people listen to fake doctors when
they work out, so we don't want them to necessarily,
uh switch over to Cody when they're working out.

Speaker 2 (54:48):
I wonder if Cody is the I wonder if Cody
is the most used teacher.

Speaker 1 (54:55):
Probably. I think the only way to probably, I think
the only way to make this work if we can
get him on the show.

Speaker 2 (55:01):
We can get him. Well, I want to try and
get Cody. I think his last name is Rigsby.

Speaker 1 (55:05):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (55:05):
Oh, And then he did this whole bit about he
had Celine dianas one of the songs, and then he
had this whole bit about how like I could see
myself listen to this. I'm back in high school. I'm
back in high school. Tell mom to pull the cassette
out of the glove box anyway. I mean, I'm not
I'm not doing a justice, but it was funny.

Speaker 2 (55:22):
The only thing that annoys me? Does this annoy you?

Speaker 3 (55:24):
All the shout outs to people, like while you're spending
they're like so and so, congrats on your hundred's ride,
so and so you got this.

Speaker 2 (55:31):
Like but it's like we're quiet time.

Speaker 1 (55:34):
But it's like we do here man, you know what
I mean, we shout out, you know to people like
you know period and sergeant and you know rom Me
and you just.

Speaker 2 (55:47):
Give Mitt Romney a shout out ramone. Yeah, I know.

Speaker 3 (55:51):
I was stink by the way as I was spinning
and thinking this was annoying me.

Speaker 1 (55:54):
Oh you thought I meant Mitt Romney. Yeah, no Romney Malco. Dude,
No I would.

Speaker 2 (56:00):
I don't get but I wanted to say that.

Speaker 3 (56:03):
No, it just annoys me, Like sometimes like it's okay
to be quiet, you know, you don't have to give
all the shout outs. But I'm gonna tell that when
we have Cody on the show, I'm gonna give him notes.
Don't even though it's even though he's probably the most
popular pelotons.

Speaker 1 (56:14):
Please do not do that. Don't give Cody notes.

Speaker 3 (56:17):
You know, Tony constructive criticism. You don't have to give
all these people shout outs. My senses, they would have data.

Speaker 2 (56:22):
That's that. People say they like the shout outs, but
it's annoying. I think it's annoying.

Speaker 1 (56:26):
Like you know, if you if you reached your ten
thousandth ride.

Speaker 2 (56:31):
Right, these people must be in such shape because.

Speaker 1 (56:35):
Ten thousand, it's like years.

Speaker 3 (56:38):
You can look on the leaderboard and it'll show you,
like I you can make it go away because I don't.
I don't like looking at it. But if you're if
you're someone who's probably like Casey, who's.

Speaker 1 (56:46):
Like up there, she tries to get to the top
of the leader.

Speaker 3 (56:48):
Yeah, these people, I can't believe how fast and how
hard they must be spinning to be at the top
of that leaderboard. Because I'm like in the fucking nether regions,
I like in outer space.

Speaker 1 (56:58):
Like whoever's number one or number two?

Speaker 3 (57:01):
Yet it's probably like it's probably what's his name with
the professional that want on you?

Speaker 1 (57:07):
Lance Armstrong? Lance arm Strong with all of his fucking
steroids in him.

Speaker 2 (57:12):
Yeah, Lance can't compete anymore, but he's just fucking voided
up on the pelotone, beating his chest, beating his chest.
All right, let's let the guests in, Daniel Goodman, all.

Speaker 1 (57:26):
Right, let's give it up for to scrap.

Speaker 2 (57:37):
All right, there she is. Oprah, Okay, Oprah. Come on, Daniel,
you're gonna cut that out. That was so annoying. People

(57:58):
are gonna turn off the podcast.

Speaker 1 (57:59):
Daniel. I'm not turning my key. Don't cut that damn out.

Speaker 2 (58:03):
Tom makes it way low.

Speaker 1 (58:05):
Don't turn your key, Tosh, don't turn your keysh turn
your key. Don't turn Here's the problem.

Speaker 3 (58:12):
Here's the problem, Daniel, is that I'm worried that Tosh
is not going to get hurt by as many people
because at that moment they're all going to go, fuck
this loud ass podcast.

Speaker 5 (58:22):
I think I can actually give Donald a run for
his money.

Speaker 2 (58:24):
I'm pretty okay, Well, we'll just mix it low. Then
you're welcome. You're welcome, Tosh, Welcome to the show. Where
are you? Where are you joining us from? I'm from Australia,
Oh down Under?

Speaker 1 (58:37):
Yeah, Well, good day mate.

Speaker 2 (58:39):
What time is it tomorrow?

Speaker 5 (58:41):
That's correct, Yeah, it's Saturday morning here, it's.

Speaker 1 (58:44):
Nine in the morning.

Speaker 3 (58:45):
Yeah, welcome to the show. Scrubs was very popular down under.

Speaker 2 (58:49):
Donald. I don't know if you know that.

Speaker 3 (58:50):
It was, Yes, very popular into Sydney, and I feel very,
very very important in Sydney.

Speaker 1 (58:58):
I went and hung out in Australia way before I
got Scrubs. It was for remember the Titans. We went
and did press in Australia, and I found out that
Clueless was pretty popular in Australia too.

Speaker 2 (59:09):
Yes, they have a good sense of humor down down there.

Speaker 1 (59:12):
Yes, yeah, I love Australia. I swam into Sydney Harbor,
which is crazy because I hear this, it's loaded with sharks.

Speaker 2 (59:22):
I don't think you're supposed to swim in Sydney Harbor.
It's for boats. Why are you swimming?

Speaker 1 (59:26):
Well, we were going to you know that little island
that's you know that little island that's like right outside
of the Sydney Harbor. We took a boat ride and
anchored like off the shore of that and I jumped
into the water and swam to the island and hung
out on the island and.

Speaker 3 (59:41):
By the island. It was okay, But I don't know
if you want to like jump in Sydney.

Speaker 2 (59:44):
Harbor I don't know.

Speaker 1 (59:45):
I learned that. I learned that that water is infested
with sharks, like not a fact, Like it's like shark heaven,
Like you know, if if it were to happen, if
my fear of dying by shark were to happen, that
was that was it right there, That was the closest
ants I got to it. Like I remember swimming through
the waves and back to the boat from the beach

(01:00:05):
and thinking all I was going to see was a
big mouth coming from one of the waves to eat me. Man.
It was like, I was so afraid.

Speaker 2 (01:00:12):
But there was that in the Bahamas.

Speaker 3 (01:00:13):
When we did the Bahamas episode, we went we went
swimming at night, like skinny dipping drunk, and the people
were like, oh my god, you guys, that is the
prime shark feeding time.

Speaker 1 (01:00:23):
Like no, Rob said that there's two black tip sharks
that swim in the in the in the at the
beach area during that time. The reason why people were
clowning us was because it was a thunder and lightning
storm outside and we were in the water acting. We
were so.

Speaker 2 (01:00:42):
Freaking drunk in sar in water.

Speaker 1 (01:00:45):
And shark infested waters with a lightning storm happening and
we're laughing and everything, and that's how that Also, that's
what happened with Randall and his foot too.

Speaker 3 (01:00:54):
Yeah, just say no to alcohol, kids, All right, Tosh,
what's your question for for any of us? Welcome, welcome, welcome, Hello, Hello, well,
thank you.

Speaker 2 (01:01:02):
How are you guys going happy? We're okay, We're okay,
We're glad to be here.

Speaker 5 (01:01:08):
Yeah. Good.

Speaker 1 (01:01:08):
How is it over there? You guys? You guys are
out and about though, right, you're not on lockdown, are you? Ah?

Speaker 5 (01:01:14):
Well, some of our some states are so Queensland, which
is actually my home state, the south part of Queensland
is in lockdown this weekend. I don't get the whole
three day lockdown as opposed to like a longer a
little bit longer period. We did have a lockdown last year,
like my city, but that was so minimal. Victoria got

(01:01:34):
hit pretty hard. They were lockdown for quite a while,
but all in normal where we can't we can't go about,
we're pretty yeah, life is pretty normal. We still have
we still have the hotspots and stuff that we need
to be careful about, but definitely not like other.

Speaker 1 (01:01:50):
Countries like the United States of America.

Speaker 2 (01:01:53):
You mean well like Los Angeles would like the trees
have COVID. Everything has COVID.

Speaker 5 (01:01:58):
It's insane. It's yeah, it's scary to think this is
any normal. That's all, like we just we're.

Speaker 2 (01:02:05):
So under la is so underwater. I mean, it's it's
it's such a shame because you'd think I would I
would have hoped that that that that that Los Angeles
could have done, a better job could have been. I mean,
I don't know. I live here. I root for the city.

Speaker 3 (01:02:21):
You know, it has a lot of problems, but I
but I but I root for it, and I just
I think it's embarrassing how how horribly this has been
handled here.

Speaker 5 (01:02:30):
Yeah, and it's just been going on for so long now,
like and honestly, I it just feels like there's no
end in sight. This can't be any normal, like we
just it's everything just comes to us absolutely grow and
it helps.

Speaker 3 (01:02:42):
I think that the obvious thing is that the vaccine
is going to be the only thing that that unburies us.

Speaker 2 (01:02:48):
At least that's the vaccine.

Speaker 1 (01:02:50):
Vaccine that Daniel said it himself. I think maybe Daniel did.
Maybe I heard Fauci saying, I'm confusing Daniel.

Speaker 2 (01:02:57):
Daniel Fauci saying, both they're both as wise on the top.

Speaker 1 (01:03:01):
They're both wise.

Speaker 2 (01:03:03):
You know, why didn't you say honored you? What the fuck?

Speaker 1 (01:03:06):
You know?

Speaker 2 (01:03:07):
You never That's like Willis saying something crazy and Arnold
not saying what you're talking about. Willis, I teed you
up for your catchphrase.

Speaker 1 (01:03:18):
There's never been ever in the history of herd immunity
natural heard immunity. Never in the history of herd immunity. Right,
so where we are, right, the only time to spend
the reason why the Spanish flu UH became non existent
is because of UH vaccine, you know what I mean?
And that's the that's the only true I don't know,

(01:03:41):
this is this is the honest of goodness truth.

Speaker 2 (01:03:43):
It just sounds like like you.

Speaker 1 (01:03:45):
And so now we're at a point where everybody and
and this is this, this is to each their own
you know what I mean? You know, do what you do,
what you want. It's I feel like, and I don't
want to conspiracy this situation, but I feel like there
are too many people that aren't willing to take the vaccine,

(01:04:06):
and then there are a bunch of people that are
willing to take the vaccine, and so to make it
so that essential workers, when essential workers are saying I
don't want to take it, or to make it so that,
you know, even older people are saying I don't want
to take it, there should be a pool. Then if
that's the case my opinion, everybody else's opinion, but my opinion,

(01:04:28):
there should be a pool where if you don't want
to take it, it goes to the people that do.

Speaker 3 (01:04:33):
I think Biden just is saying that he's going to
change it. They've been holding the second dose, so like
if one hundred doses come in, they hold fifty so
that those first fifty that got it can have the
second fifty. The second that was the Trump policy, and Biden,
I believe, is just announced that they're not doing that.
They're going to fucking give out the hundred doses and

(01:04:56):
expect that the other ones are going to come in
on time to give everyone their second those. I have
no idea if that's a good idea about But anyway,
let's let's let's let's refocus on our friend from down under.

Speaker 2 (01:05:08):
What is your question?

Speaker 5 (01:05:10):
I just wanted to actually just show you my shirt
as well.

Speaker 2 (01:05:13):
Oh that's a full eagle shirt.

Speaker 1 (01:05:16):
That's a nice shirt. But that's not a fake doctors real,
that's not.

Speaker 2 (01:05:21):
You're like the gal.

Speaker 3 (01:05:22):
You're like the gallon the parking lot that buys the
off off brand of concert shirts. I'm I'm just kidding,
wonderful fang, go ahead.

Speaker 5 (01:05:37):
Okay, So my questions and I was trying really hard
not to be lame and actually read them, but you know,
the nerves do kick in a little bit. So like
your friendship both you Zach and Donald, like everyone who
knows you and listens to you and watches just show
and what have you just see that the incredible bond
that you both have. And you know, when you spend

(01:05:57):
so much time with people that you start easily mirroring
the behaviors. Do you recognize any of your own personal
traits in each other?

Speaker 1 (01:06:07):
We have a lot of the same. We have a
lot of the same catchphrases, like, we have a lot
of the same. What you're talking about, Willis's like, come
on buddy, and Jack and we Jack, come on, Buddy.
From a Dave Chappelle Dave Chappelle stand up where he's
talking about smoking weed with his best friend Chip. No no,

(01:06:27):
no where He's talking about no where. He's talking about chicken,
right fried chicken, and how he goes to a restaurant
and the guy's like and he says, he sits down,
and the white waiter comes up to him and he goes,
I think I'll have and the white waiter cuts him
off and goes the chicken. He goes, what, how did
you know I wanted the chicken? And the waiter goes, mom, buddy,

(01:06:49):
come on buddy, And so come on buddy came from
that I forgot.

Speaker 2 (01:06:56):
That's where come on Buddy was taken from. We stole
it from Dave Chappelle's stand.

Speaker 1 (01:06:59):
Up, but it became it became something that we said,
like for every time somebody was bullshit and we said it.
And so that's where so we have catchphrases that we
but as far as like, uh, we're two different people.
You know, we have the same sense of humor, I
would say that we do share in common, but we're
two different people.

Speaker 3 (01:07:20):
Well, I would say that's the most interesting thing about
our friendship, even had it not been on display for
for nine years, is that we couldn't come from more
different backgrounds and the exact same stuff makes us laugh.
We don't have all the same interests obviously. But but
but we if we're at if we're at an event,

(01:07:41):
or we're at a party, or we're in an environment
together and something happens, whatever, the exact same thing will
make us laugh. We have the same the same thing
makes us laugh, and we also have like a decade
of inside jokes with each other because you know, how
often are you how often are you spending this much
time with your best friend? I mean most people never will,

(01:08:02):
but we spent so many hours being silly together.

Speaker 2 (01:08:06):
Well that was our job.

Speaker 3 (01:08:07):
It's like our job for a decade was to like
be together and be funny as as funny as we
possibly could. So I think that we just have like
I could make a noise and it'll make him laugh
because we'll know he'll know that inside joke.

Speaker 1 (01:08:20):
You know, it's it's it's it's really interesting. It's like
you know, uh. I think that that's also what makes
our friendship so strong, is that it comes from a
very happy place and a very uh you know, it
comes from laughter. I think that was the first time
we were both I think our first time laughing together
was like, Yo, this feels good. Let's you know, uh,

(01:08:45):
let's keep the ball, let's keep it going and been
together ever since.

Speaker 2 (01:08:50):
Next question, I.

Speaker 5 (01:08:53):
Hey, and actually I didn't realize this because I you
know nothing.

Speaker 2 (01:09:00):
About not yet. Not yet.

Speaker 5 (01:09:03):
I really can't see that ever happening. But like even
just listening to the podcast and certain things that you
Zach especially you've done that, I go, oh, Wow, that's
actually not him acting in the show. That's actually him.
Your laugh both your laughs are so infectious.

Speaker 4 (01:09:17):
Cracks me up.

Speaker 5 (01:09:19):
So with your actual characters on this show, do you
think any of your characters rubbed off on you or
did you put more of yourself into the character into
your own characters?

Speaker 2 (01:09:30):
I think that they were the reason.

Speaker 3 (01:09:32):
I would say the reason Donald and I got the
ports was that we saw what was so funny about
each of the characters and then and embodied them. And
then once Bill saw us and the pilot was picked up.
Keep in mind, you don't write any of the scripts
past the pilot until it gets chosen, and you make
the pilot, and then you wait, and then it gets chosen,

(01:09:53):
and then the showrunner, Bill hires a writing staff, and
then you go off and make two through whatever. And
I think think when they made started making two through whatever,
they were able to use the real friendship that had
already started between Donald and I and just start, you know,
shaping it around who we who we were. I think,
you know, good writers, when they have the opportunity, will go,

(01:10:17):
let me write to who that person is. And I
think that little by little, you know, you know, lots
of traits of who we are became who the characters were, Right, Donald.

Speaker 1 (01:10:30):
I totally agree with that.

Speaker 2 (01:10:31):
Yeah, I ship that I shipped, that ship that I thought.
Ship is when you root for a celebrity relationship.

Speaker 1 (01:10:39):
Ship is when you put any couple together a lots
often used when describing fandoms, particularly couples that didn't make
it to screen but you wanted them to. Oh ie,
the relationship.

Speaker 2 (01:10:50):
Is so Donald, I don't think I've ever said this
to you, but I think you may have used this,
this term incorrectly. This this I.

Speaker 1 (01:10:55):
Think I did.

Speaker 3 (01:10:56):
I think You've always been my You've always been my
sense say you when it came to pop culture slang,
and I think you I'm sorry, sir, I'm sorry, Jedi Master.

Speaker 2 (01:11:05):
I think he used ship wrong.

Speaker 1 (01:11:08):
No, because there's a relationship between the writers and the
actors that you're talking about.

Speaker 2 (01:11:13):
So I ship that, Joel, Joel buzzer, Oh my.

Speaker 1 (01:11:18):
God, I don't like being in the middle.

Speaker 3 (01:11:20):
Yeah, Dane, would you put one of those you know
in the family feud, you know, in the family feud
when you.

Speaker 2 (01:11:26):
Get three exes, one of those there? Please? All right?

Speaker 1 (01:11:29):
I don't get an X.

Speaker 2 (01:11:31):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:11:31):
You guys say you don't have a fucking survey going
right now? A committee? This is not a committee. There's
not enough of us to discuss this, says a committee.

Speaker 2 (01:11:41):
We He asked one hundred people if Donald's definition of
ship was right or wrong. Serve says, what I would
like to host.

Speaker 1 (01:11:49):
One person said that shit, Joel. Not one person, not
one person agreed with that. I disagree. I disagree. Survey says,
shut the fuck up, Zach, and let's move on.

Speaker 2 (01:11:59):
All right, shut the fuck up. Does Steve Harvey still
host Family Feud?

Speaker 1 (01:12:04):
Yeah, he's great at it too.

Speaker 3 (01:12:05):
By the way, Steve Harvey is very funny, but every
time he makes me laugh, it's the same fucking thing,
which is the dead pan face, right, the dead pan
Steve Harvey look away the ship, where like someone says
something outrageous and he just dead pants looks away.

Speaker 2 (01:12:21):
That will make me laugh every single time.

Speaker 3 (01:12:23):
It's it's incredible, and he obviously knows it because he
puts it in every Family Feud episode I've ever seen.
Ye Anyway, I don't know if there's ever like a
guest celebrity family feud host.

Speaker 1 (01:12:35):
Do you ever see? Do you ever?

Speaker 2 (01:12:36):
I would like to do it?

Speaker 1 (01:12:37):
Do you ever watch? Right on?

Speaker 2 (01:12:39):
Yo, I'm not gonna Richard Dawson and make out with everyone, but.

Speaker 1 (01:12:41):
Let's put it out there, y'all. So let's let's put
it into the eat there family feud. If you're ever
looking for a celebrity guest host, yes, Zach Braff is willing.

Speaker 3 (01:12:50):
I've never had a desire to host a game show,
but it just came to me that I would be
a great family feud host because I.

Speaker 2 (01:12:55):
Would do this Steve. I would do the Steve Harvey dead.
I would just.

Speaker 3 (01:12:59):
I would just I mean, like, Steve, thank you for
letting me guest host. You go off on a yacht somewhere.
I'm gonna do your dead pant, Steve Harvey.

Speaker 1 (01:13:05):
Look, yeah, you know what, when it comes to family feud,
that always is the term that is associated with the
host go off on a yacht somewhere, because you've got
that crazy ass money. You know.

Speaker 2 (01:13:17):
I think Steve Harvey has like eleven jobs and he must.

Speaker 1 (01:13:19):
Don't you think Richard Dawson did too, And don't you
think like Louis Anderson when he was hosting bad.

Speaker 2 (01:13:25):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:13:26):
I don't know that either of those gentlemen were ever
as rich as I imagine Steve Harvey is. I imagine
Steve Harvey like must be so loaded because the man
I think he like, he like leaves one very high
paying job to go do another high paying job.

Speaker 1 (01:13:39):
Right Steve is, Yeah, I imagine he's very I don't know,
I don't know. I don't know his bank account, but
I imagine he's very very.

Speaker 2 (01:13:46):
Yeah, I think Steve's probably been on a yacht or too.

Speaker 1 (01:13:48):
All right, estimates two hundred million dollars.

Speaker 2 (01:13:51):
Yeah, there you go. The Internet's never wrong, Donald, and
never wrong.

Speaker 1 (01:13:56):
You get a lot of information from the internet.

Speaker 3 (01:13:58):
Yeah, all right, let's you America. Sorry, let's do Australia's
favorite segment. Donald, it's time to fix your life. Hey Daniel,
maybe you can add a little dissery due in this
particular segment.

Speaker 2 (01:14:15):
No problem, it's just after it's like, yeah, yeah, after
the drill. After the drill sound effect, don Daniel pull
the wowow. It looks like you're chugging cock.

Speaker 1 (01:14:30):
So did you because you look like you chug a cock.

Speaker 2 (01:14:34):
I look like you're doing like this your audience. He's
got two hands up as though he's giving a blow,
an enormous hand, and he's like, I had a little
tiny whole. No, no, your fake di dude is like.

Speaker 1 (01:14:53):
Your dude is like.

Speaker 3 (01:14:56):
You're there's two ladies present, Donald, Come.

Speaker 1 (01:14:59):
On, Daniel's president. Daniel doesn't want to hit his ship.
Don't you don't want too started it?

Speaker 4 (01:15:16):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:15:16):
Yeah, oh my god.

Speaker 2 (01:15:23):
If you're if you're a dizz redoo player, your family
definitely thinks it looks like you're chugging a big time
fox sake.

Speaker 4 (01:15:33):
Just stop talking about your.

Speaker 2 (01:15:35):
Women's sorry, sorry, all right, all right, it's time to
fix your life, darling. How can we help you?

Speaker 10 (01:15:43):
Oh man, Well, in the same vein of friendships and stuff,
I have two boys, two young boys, four old, and
they fight all the time.

Speaker 5 (01:15:58):
It's just it's to stage that. They're not fisty cups
type fights. They just at each other all the time.
Give it, Give give me My husband's some advice, like
how do we how do we get them to get along?
It's even to the stage that it's like nearly you're
breathing my a type of fight, Like just crap, it's
not anything serious.

Speaker 3 (01:16:17):
Well, it's good to answer this because he obviously has
many children. Donald, how do you get your kids to
get along? You're young ones right now?

Speaker 2 (01:16:23):
What do you do?

Speaker 1 (01:16:24):
Well? I really can't answer that because they're out in
the back yelling at each other. Like all I hear
is my son screaming. They go at it, man, that's
I think that's normal. I think that's all kids. I
remember when I was a kid and my brother and
I we used to we used to go at it,

(01:16:46):
like for real, for real. I have scars on my
body and in my like I have a hole. I
had a hole in my head at one point from
fighting my brother, who's three years younger than me, but
he was he's bigger than me. Like, I can't call
him my kid brother or my little brother because he's
bigger than me, you know what I mean. Like, people
meet my brother Dade, they meet my brother and they'll

(01:17:08):
be and I'll be like, yeah, i'm his younger, I'm
his older brother, and they'll be like I thought you
were his younger brother. Yeah. See, like I'm the older
I'm the older one. But Dodde is the one that
grew up a little bit harder than I did, you
know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (01:17:21):
He's tough, he's scary, he's tough. You don't want Dottie
manage you.

Speaker 1 (01:17:25):
No, you don't want dott it. That is true in
my life. I've experienced that. I prefer when my brother's
not upset and in that mode of aggression. Anyway, we
fought like crazy when we were kids, like crazy, uh,
and it did come to fist the cuffs and we would,
you know, we would. We went at it. And I

(01:17:45):
don't know. Now he's my best friend, you know, when
he's in town. We play golf every day together. You know.
I named my son after him, you know. Like so
it's like, I know they're at it. I know they're
going at it right now. But looking at look at
it as they're bonding. I'm not saying let it go
and keep and let them fight each other. But there's
a lot of love in there and it's it's and

(01:18:06):
even though there's like my son says, I wish I
didn't have a sister, and inside he doesn't wish that shit.
I see, how is there.

Speaker 2 (01:18:12):
Any is there anything tash that they like to do
in common?

Speaker 5 (01:18:17):
Regardless even if they do, it'll last for like two
three minutes and then it's on like one of them
will do something and oh and it's really it's actually
usually blessing. I mean, I love my children there, but
the older one just pushes the younger one's buttons a
little bit, and it's yeah, and my younger one's pretty chilled.
He's not like impatient.

Speaker 3 (01:18:39):
And you I mean, I'm assuming you do the obvious
things like you know, if you do that again, we're
taking away your phone or something like that.

Speaker 2 (01:18:46):
Yeah, yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:18:48):
I think it's a tall order, as Donald can attest to.
I mean, again, I don't have kids, but it seems
from from having siblings kids in that age, you know,
especially boys.

Speaker 2 (01:18:57):
They're just they're just wow, you know, that's very hard.

Speaker 1 (01:19:02):
It's kids period. It's kids period. Like I'm sure Joel remembers,
you know, fighting with her brothers, you know what I mean, Like,
it's it's it's just how it is, whether it's a
boy or a girl. A girl and a girl, a
boy and a boy. It doesn't matter, they're gonna go
at it.

Speaker 2 (01:19:17):
That's just my brother.

Speaker 1 (01:19:18):
There's not enough space. There's not enough space.

Speaker 3 (01:19:21):
I have a memory of my two older brothers and
my sister and I were closer in age, and they
were older than us, and they would be like the
wrestling managers, and they'd get us all, me and my
sister all riled up, and they'd be like our coaches
in the corner, like, oh w w F old school,
old school managers, and you get in there, and my
sister would I would go in the middle of the
room and wrestle and pull hair and then we would

(01:19:41):
scream and get everything we got, and then we'd get
too hairy, and they separated.

Speaker 2 (01:19:45):
Ding ding ding ding. Okay, okay, okay, good, you did good.
Maybe don't pull so much hair, but okay, get in there.

Speaker 1 (01:19:52):
Yeah, so your brothers were doing. Your brothers would like,
remember when we had all of that aggression, let's look
at let's take shows and freaking zach and make them
do that.

Speaker 2 (01:20:00):
Too, And they thought it was hilarious.

Speaker 3 (01:20:02):
I remember them being like sitting back and laughing, being
like this is hilarious watching us.

Speaker 1 (01:20:06):
Wow, do you kids have their own like space?

Speaker 5 (01:20:11):
Oh yeah, we actually, funnily enough, we moved twelve months
ago because seriously, twenty twenty, I even forget about that year.
So I forget that that was twelve months ago. We
moved because we're in a really small house and I
said to my husband, I can't do it anymore. We
can't live in this small house. The kids are on
top of each other. It's seriously. One would walk into
the room and you could go three two one and
then it'd start and you're like, oh, for God's sake,

(01:20:33):
like seriously, So we went, Okay, we moved into this
big house and it is a big house and two stories.
They got their own space. But they find each other
and it's well, stop seeking each other out.

Speaker 1 (01:20:45):
Never it's not enough. It's not enough room. No matter
how much space you have, it's never enough room. They
find each other. Like, my son has a room dedicated
just to his self. My daughter got goes to that
room just to fuck with him, just to fuck. Well literally,

(01:21:07):
he'll be like, get the fucking I'll hear it. I'll
hear her go to the room and I'll hear please
get out, please leave wilder, please.

Speaker 2 (01:21:18):
She starts it too.

Speaker 1 (01:21:19):
Oh. Absolutely, He'll start off calm because he knows that,
you know, we don't like I have an issue if
he goes If something happens and he goes to one hundred,
then there's no real discussion there. You've already gone to
one hundred. See you later, right, Yeah, So he tries
to freaking maintain his composure because he knows one hundred

(01:21:43):
means what are we discussing? You're at one hundred. I
can't talk to you like this, you know what I mean?
Please get out.

Speaker 2 (01:21:51):
He's practicing, at least he's trying.

Speaker 1 (01:21:54):
Wilder, Wilder, Please get out of my room. I said,
get out.

Speaker 2 (01:22:03):
I can feel it coming.

Speaker 1 (01:22:07):
While If you don't get out right now, I'm going
to kill you.

Speaker 5 (01:22:16):
Yet.

Speaker 1 (01:22:20):
And you hear it, and you hear it starts, and
you gotta get up there before get out of it.

Speaker 2 (01:22:27):
You know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (01:22:28):
It's like they can't help it.

Speaker 2 (01:22:31):
You know what you need to do that You need
the nanny from that show what's it.

Speaker 1 (01:22:35):
Called the Missus Doubt Fire.

Speaker 2 (01:22:39):
No, there was like these shows like Nanny nine one one,
whether she comes in, Yeah, you need one of those.
They probably have one of those down in Australia. Yeah,
you know, like.

Speaker 1 (01:22:48):
Sarry Poppins, I need Poppins. Is that what you're telling me?

Speaker 3 (01:22:51):
There was a show, a reality show where like a
woman who was like a British nanny would go and
like set set when parents were like, I'm out of ideas,
help me, and she would be like, set down stern rules.
I mean, in all seriousness, if it does escalate to
the point where it's just your life is being affected,
you might consider a counselor getting advice from a professional counselor,

(01:23:11):
because I mean, I'm sure that some parents, you know,
it's normal, kids are gonna fight, But if it reaches
the point where you and your husband are like what
the fuck do we do? This is out of control,
you might you might get, you know, get some counseling
from someone who's a kid specialist who says, you know,
here's some tools, because I certainly don't know what those are,
but I imagine someone can have some Jedi mind tricks

(01:23:33):
for your kids.

Speaker 1 (01:23:34):
Well, yeah, tools, tools are with they do work. They
do work. They work for a little bit until you
forget that you have these tools that have been given
to you, right right, I mean, I'm sure that.

Speaker 5 (01:23:43):
They do love each other because they do. Like you know,
when anything ever happens with friends or at school and
stuff like getther ones like in it all come to
school and I'll help you sort that out, and it's like, no,
you won't. You actually will just pump you brakes. But
it's just it's just that they that antagonistic behavior and
it just does head in. It's like just some days

(01:24:04):
it's just no harmony.

Speaker 2 (01:24:05):
Some days.

Speaker 3 (01:24:06):
This podcast doesn't really have a lot of positive inspiration
to having children.

Speaker 8 (01:24:12):
If I may, I don't have I obviously don't have children.
But I just want to parrot something that Casey said
before and just start with the question do you allow
your kids to play video games?

Speaker 5 (01:24:21):
Good? Of course, yes, my three games in the house.

Speaker 1 (01:24:26):
That's where it starts. Man, My kid gets the most
aggressive right after he plays that video game. After the
video game, that's when I get to shut I'm not
having it.

Speaker 3 (01:24:36):
WHOA I thought Daniel was probably about to say, is
there a game they like in common?

Speaker 2 (01:24:40):
Right? Yeah? That is where I was going again?

Speaker 1 (01:24:43):
Does state keep them off the games?

Speaker 5 (01:24:44):
Man?

Speaker 1 (01:24:44):
Keep them off the games as hurting?

Speaker 2 (01:24:46):
Daniel's gonna CRY's gonna swipe a tear away.

Speaker 1 (01:24:48):
No, Daniel's a grown man. Daniel knows what. I'm sure
he knows what video games can do to a grown
man and how grown men can zone being it stuck
in the game, like I'm staring at the microphone and
I can't get off the game, and my whole life
is surrounded by a game. Imagine being six years old
or seven years old or twelve years old, and your
life is now surround it's involved with. All it is

(01:25:10):
is a game, dude. That's just get them off the game.
That's real talk. As a parent, I see my son's
best behavior when he's not playing video games.

Speaker 5 (01:25:21):
Oh look, you don't have to tell me twice that.

Speaker 2 (01:25:23):
I don't think we're I don't think we're helping today. Cash.
We tried, but I don't know if we can say
you're welcome. Donald. I think this might be the first
time we've been stumped.

Speaker 1 (01:25:31):
I can say you're welcome, I can tell how you're welcome.
You know why. I know why because everybody's everybody. You're
not alone in this. This is what is how kids are,
This is how siblings are. And I promise you, I
promise you. If they don't kill each other. Now, when
they're older, they're gonna love each other. They're gonna love
each other more than anything. And the way you and
you nailed it when you said it, if somebody were

(01:25:52):
to beat up on the little one, the older one
would be there so quick because only he's allowed to
beat up on a little one.

Speaker 5 (01:26:00):
You know what.

Speaker 3 (01:26:01):
My one idea would be, like, you know, take their
favorite thing away. I mean, like I said, I mean
take there like you know, if you if you raise
your voice like that again, your phone's gonna get taken away.

Speaker 2 (01:26:11):
Take their video game away. I mean, I'm sure you've
tried all the obvious things. What do you want me
to get Casey? No no, no, no, we went, we've won.
We run way long.

Speaker 3 (01:26:20):
And I'll get Casey no no no. Okay, that's your
that's your other side. Also you in case you're going
to do a parenting podcast. All right, listen, you can
stay on for the end because we finished the show.
It was a very good one. And what can we
tell you? We love you guys, right, don't we?

Speaker 1 (01:26:40):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (01:26:40):
We do.

Speaker 2 (01:26:41):
Uh, thank you for listening. We love you from Los
Angeles all the way to Australia.

Speaker 4 (01:26:47):
You finish the.

Speaker 1 (01:26:50):
Show the way we're recording the show now, we're like
a week will be a week behind all of your
major events and stuff like that. So for those of
you who were worried that this podcast is getting too political,
we'll be so far behind on policy now that it
won't be relevant when we talk about politics. So guess

(01:27:13):
what your prayers have been answered.

Speaker 2 (01:27:15):
Yeah, you're welcome.

Speaker 1 (01:27:17):
There you go, You're welcome. You're welcome, world, your life,
you're welcome.

Speaker 2 (01:27:23):
You pivoted to your welcome Earth.

Speaker 1 (01:27:25):
You're welcome.

Speaker 2 (01:27:26):
All right, we love you. Everybody will see you next week.

Speaker 1 (01:27:28):
Bosies, I'm not sure.

Speaker 2 (01:27:31):
We made about a bunch of docs and nurses.

Speaker 7 (01:27:36):
And I said, he's the Stories Net, So YadA around here,
yeada around here.

Speaker 2 (01:27:47):
But m