Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Walk Uphill, w Ship, very Weird, free walk glasses.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
H. Hello.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
My name is Buddy Peace. I'm a producer and editor,
a DJ and music maker, a positive cour in a
much damaged society, and for intro and outr purposes, I'm
temporarily standing in for your regular host and proud creator
of this particular podcast, mister Brett Goldstein. As Rakim once said,
I take seven MC's, put them in a line, and
(01:14):
add seven more brothers who think they can rhyme. Well,
it'll take seven more before I go for mine. Now,
that's twenty one mcs eight up at the same time.
And you might think this is a coincidence, but they
were showing twenty one Grams, twenty one Bridges, and twenty
one Jump Street last night at the local cineplex. The
Lord works in mysterious ways, Rakim. Every week Breton wvites
(01:35):
a guest on he tells them they've died and then
talks to them about their life through the medium of film.
But this week we are revisiting an earlier episode of
the podcast. While we are on a brief springtime hiatus,
we will be back as soon as possible with the newness, though,
trust us on that. So yes, indeed, it is that
time once more for a films to be buried with
Rewind classic. This Rewind in particular is from September the sixth, sixteenth,
(02:00):
twenty twenty one, originally episode one sixty four, featuring actor, comic,
writer and vocal talent Desiree Birch. This one's a proper
great one as Desiree and Brett catch up and check
in on so much. So much in fact, that this
could well be a two parter, with the run up
before the actual movie talk playing out as its own episode.
No stone is left unturned and as a result, it's
(02:22):
a pure pleasure one for the books for sure. Let
me take this opportunity to also remind you that Brett
has a Patreon page for the podcast, upon which you
get a bonus audio section in every episode with a
secret from each guest, more questions, and a video of
each episode which looks lovely. There are a selection of
tears on there too, and on the uppermost tiers, I
(02:42):
make you a cinematic soundtrack mixtape each month with full
track list that you will definitely enjoy. So if you're
of a supporting nature and feel like some extras from
this show. You'll find them all there. So that is
it for now. Let's get you settled in for a
wildly entertaining look back at perfect episode with the Wonderful
desiree Birch catch you with the end for a quick
(03:04):
sign off. But for now, please enjoy episode one six
four via Episode two nine five or Films to be
Buried With.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Hello, and welcome to Films to be buried With. It
is me Brett Goldstein, and I am joined today by
a writer, a actor, a podcaster, a presenter, a comedian,
a panel showist, a panel uh widder, a hero, a legend,
(03:43):
one of the finest comics of her generation in the UK.
Even though she's not from here, she came over here
and basically took over comedy. Please welcome to the show's brilliant,
the amazing, It's desire bat Oh.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
My god, Brad, thank you so much. You might have
made up for my whole childhood just then.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
I needed all of that. But like when I was eight,
do you have a time machine?
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Yeah, yeah, we could do that. We could make that happen. Amazing. Listen,
we listen. We are Films to be buried with. Towers.
I'm delighted to have you on the show. You're y.
You're a very busy lady. You got everything I don't.
Speaker 4 (04:20):
Yeah, well, I appreciate you reaching out to me.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
It made me feel quite cool, So thank you. You're
You're deceptively very nice. But you're also very cool. And
I've known of you as being very.
Speaker 4 (04:33):
Cool guy for a while.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
I I don't mean that to sound bad, it's just cool.
And I was like, cooled me to the party.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, very yeah. Famously famously known
as a as a cool guy. Now what you if
you can share this with with the listener? Where are
you right now? Where the fuck are Yeah?
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Where the fuck am I is a huge metaphysical question,
But in the immediate physical I am in Greece for
a very very brief and very wonderful and desperately needed holiday.
I literally just got here like earlier, like in the
wee hours of the morning, and now I am on
the island of Kia, and I just came in from
(05:21):
like being in the sea, which is why my hair
looks like I took care of it. You know, there's
nothing better than like just beach everything. Like when you
come out of the beach. You're just like you could
be ashy as fuck and it doesn't matter. You're just
like gorgeous and sun kissed. I feel amazing.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
Come we ask you just you just finished something, your
wine thing you're in. Did you well talk about it?
Speaker 4 (05:42):
Oh yeah?
Speaker 1 (05:43):
I was just like, yeah, yes we are, because it's
out there in the universe.
Speaker 4 (05:47):
It's so funny.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
I feel so bad every time people were like, oh,
you just worked on a thing, I was like, I've
just worked on like so many things. I have no
idea what thing we're even talking about, or what day
it is, or who I am. So I just finished
shooting a pilot for a new show for Channel four
E four. It's called The Love Triangle. It's all It's
a threuples dating show. Because at this point, I don't
(06:09):
know how I became the dating show person. I guess
between too hot to handle, like like, I don't know.
They were just like, you are the perfect person for this,
and I guess having worked as a dominatrix.
Speaker 4 (06:19):
Everyone's like, if it's about.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Sex, desiree's got to talk about I'm like, honestly, like,
for the amount that we talk about me and sex,
I've had far less of it than everybody else who
doesn't say a damn thing about it. But yeah, it's
really interesting, Like I really hope that it does well
and kind of works. I think it's like a thing
that still needs to be sort of perfected, because yeah,
I don't know that we have a very good mainstream
(06:43):
understanding of what that is. Because what most people think
of is a threesome.
Speaker 4 (06:48):
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (06:49):
They think of like monogamous couple as the anchor, you know,
whether it's romantic or sexual, and then there's just some
sort of like satellite moon going around them that's like
fun sometimes, which is not necessarily what a thrupple should be,
do you know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (07:03):
Even though I'm not polyamorous per se.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
What would be your ideal version of a thruple?
Speaker 1 (07:09):
See, I'm the worst person to ask because I have
threesome mentality. My thrupple is me at the center and
then other people making me feel like I'm at the center.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
I'm sorry, So your one is not. Even if there's
a couple, you're just the thing and then.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
It just me and then there's two people, right, or
like there's like a couple, and then there's the other
person for when I'm sick of that person. I mean,
for me, I guess, you know, like I'm bisexual, so
my boyfriend I'm dating a dude, So I guess it
would be a woman, but I don't know exactly, like
I couldn't name, like, oh, it's definitely gonna be this
person or whatever who's famous and hot, but like I
(07:47):
also probably wouldn't because it'd be someone I know in
my life who listen to this and be like hey,
and I'm like, actually, it's more of a fantasy than anything.
Speaker 4 (07:53):
Please don't phone. But yeah, I think probably it would be.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
But then again, I say that, and I'm like, I
don't know if I should be that satisfied. And that
sounds really like a very self denying like thing to say.
But I don't know that that that amount of satisfaction
allows for a lot for me, for a lot of growth,
like I do need struggle, Like when I would date
(08:18):
women exclusively, like it would be great, and I was
like there's something missing here, like like the sex is nice,
and then we eat dinners and we hang out and
I don't know, I need something else, Like I need
some trouble, like I need I need a problem, I
need some frustration.
Speaker 4 (08:37):
I need to go huff and walk into the other room.
And that's not happening here.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
And so I don't know that I would sustain the
rest of my existence being that content.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
But wouldn't A. Wouldn't a Adding another person into the mix,
it ups the chances of more struggle and problems and issues,
And right, I mean it will keep you. The politics
of that should keep you busy for a while.
Speaker 4 (09:00):
Yeah, you're absolutely right.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
I think that we also, I at least always imagine,
you know, because I'm at the center of my own
universe with all these satellites around me, that I'm like, oh,
it's gonna be all about me and everyone's gonna make
me happy. No, you're gonna have a fight with one
and then the other one's gonna be like, yeah, you
are wrong, and then you're gonna be like, oh, well,
now there's accountability as opposed to just like one person
(09:23):
said one thing and the other person said another, and
I guess we'll never know.
Speaker 4 (09:25):
It's like, no, we know you fucked up.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Yeah, we've now got a fucking majority to mas decisions.
Speaker 4 (09:32):
Yes, that's I do not want democracy in my house.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
You never want you never want a situation where could
be a majority against.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
No, No, I'm outside my door. Great in my home. No,
it's totalitarianismalitarian authoritarian Tell me this then.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
So this show, which obviously I'm now obsessed with, it's
like different versions of a couple auditioning someone.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
So, yeah, the way that it's structured, and I even
I don't know I even questioned this, but the way
it is structured is that a couple comes and they
are looking for a third to be part of their
sort of life, not just for like a night, but
you know whatever, to kind of incorporate and see if
it works out. So, you know, it's basically like you've
got three people you can't see, and you you know,
(10:22):
you get to ask them questions and then they slowly
sort of get eliminated and they sort of get to
ask you some questions back and whatever, and then you
get to the place where it's like, okay, we're going
to look at each other, now do we still want
to do this thing?
Speaker 4 (10:35):
And they're standing on this you know, well, I don't
even know if I should say.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
This, but you know, cause it's like, oh, but Basically
they secretly choose yes, I want to go on a date,
and it's literally just a date. Yes I want to
go on a date with this person of these people,
or actually no, thanks.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
Now that I've gone through.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
This, and I hope that it'll sort of pull people
out who are kind of like looking for you know,
I would say that part of it calls into question
just relationships in general, Like I'm someone that I'm like,
even though I tend to practice monogamy, I feel like
that's a construct that people created for the purposes of,
(11:13):
like property and land and ownership and all these other things. Like,
so why not have a totally different construct, Like why not?
Because honestly, life is twice as long as it used
to be because we have like penicillin and stuff, So like,
why not figure out if something else works a little
bit more functionally because who knows? And however, many hundreds
of years, if that's the thing actually that we figured
(11:34):
out three is actually the magic number and this works
a lot better, is a lot more stable or something?
I don't know, but it's worth questioning everything that we
thought we knew, because clearly, if the president has revealed
anything to us, is that we don't know what we
thought we knew, you know, just about everything.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
I'm sort of out a theory for a while that
this century is going to be spent ondoing everything that
happened in the last century, every every aspect of it
that we did we did right, and we're only now
realizing we did everything wrong. In now we have to
undo everything. Until I guess we're just a village living
in fields and living off the land.
Speaker 4 (12:11):
And ring in the torches to someone's house.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
But can I ask you, and maybe this is two personal,
have you ever been in a relationship that is polyamorous.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
I've never been in a polyamorous relationship. I've been in
the like one night situation, but like not in the
like let's like live together and work this out. I
do have some friends who have done that, but I
tend to find it's not always true, but more frequently
they are younger. I feel like like you and I
are around the same generation. We're in that weird sort
(12:43):
of like gen X millennial taint area. But I feel like,
you know, like that Gooch generation Gooch. Yeah, but like
I feel like millennials and you know, are they jenset?
What I don't know what letter we're on. Are we
in the Greek alphabet?
Speaker 2 (12:57):
No?
Speaker 1 (12:58):
But anyway, I feel like those who are younger than
us are a little bit more receptive to that. I
think just in terms of going like, probably they've seen
a lot of heterosexual or even not heterosexual at this point,
but monogamous relationships not work, and so they're kind of like, oh,
you know, like it's impossible to love more than one person,
and let's work it out. You know. I'm of the
(13:18):
generation where my friends go like, yeah, but at the
end of the day, there's too many damn people in
the room, Like I can barely deal with one other
person at the same home where I can hear them breathing.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
Yeah, I'm really fascinated by the idea and I love
the idea of it. And I read a book about
where they were talking about like jealousy is a made
up emotion that you can sort of get rid of,
And I thought, is it? But I'm interested? But I
also thought is it seems seems like a fairly common one.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
It is, But I think I don't know what the
argument is. But if you go back to looking at
monogamous relationships as an event to construct then yeah, jealousy
would then be the emotions that are built on top
of that, Whereas I guess even before, like you know,
dual person relationships, maybe you might see someone that you
snogged and the next dayre's sawny someone else You're like, hmmm, yeah,
(14:15):
you know, but I mean ultimately tends to be more
about your insecurity, right, yeah, but that insecurity it's both
real and made up though, right, Like our insecurities are
based on weird stories that we have about ourselves and
our shortcomings that pretty much nobody else.
Speaker 4 (14:34):
Holds about us typically.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Yeah, so that is also kind of in a way
of made up emotion. It's kind of like when therapists
talk about like feelings about feelings, where it's like, don't
feel guilty about being sad, just have the pure emotion
because emotions happen for a reason. Don't then then make
up feelings about the feelings you had, because it's just like,
why are you hitting yourself?
Speaker 2 (14:56):
You're so right, because I guess what jealousy is is
saying I'm not comfortable with this thing happening with someone
else because I don't believe in myself enough that this
is gonna be fine. Or yeah, yeah, it's needing validation
or yeah.
Speaker 4 (15:11):
Yeah I think it is.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
I mean this may be related or may not be,
but I remember there's this dude that I spent like
right my year leading up this was like post sat
in Return leading up to like thirty year of like
being all messed up about and we had one of
those relationships that isn't a relationship, but is one one
that's like all this like handholding and late night talking
(15:35):
and sharing of dreams and like not actually really having
physical connection or actually being claimed publicly but still having
a thing going on. Happens to a lot of women
and a lot of gay men I've found, But like
there's this whole thing of like me being like I
feel like you're the one and you're not giving me
the thing, and I feel all fucked up about myself.
And then the minute he was like, I just don't
(15:56):
think I'm as into it as you are, Like basically
I'm just not that into you, right, Like it was
a big kick to the cooter. But then after that
I was just like ew, And it was amazing how
quickly my psyche went like ew, you're gross, Like you're
not into me and you spend a year like fucking
diddling around and holding my and like, also, just like
(16:16):
if you're not into me, Like I don't know. I
don't necessarily always have like a super high self esteem,
but in this moment, I was like, you're.
Speaker 4 (16:22):
Fucking stupid, Like you're just dumb.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
I can't believe I like someone so dumb and fucking useless.
And it was amazing how some part of me just
like stood up for myself. Immediately after he was like,
I'm just I don't really think I'm into you, and
I was just like, okay, fine, and I cried for
like a night.
Speaker 4 (16:38):
I woke on the next day, I.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Was like fucking lame, bit gross vomb in emoji over
and I was like, I wish that I had made
that confrontation happen in a lot of other situations sooner,
so I wouldn't have had jealousy or feelings of self
worth that were in the gutter and all these other things,
when I could just have had that feeling of like,
al that cuts like a knife.
Speaker 4 (17:00):
I'm gonna cry like I've been stabbed in the street.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
It hurts, and then go other person's gross and stupid bye,
you know.
Speaker 4 (17:06):
Like no better feeling than being like, I feel nothing
for you.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
That's the dream. The dream is to feel nothing at
odd times. Oh, anyway, can I ask you one of
the thing, Although you may, I know you've talked about
it a lot, so genuinely, if you were like I'm
bored of talking about that, say so and we won't
talk about it. But in your time as a Dominate Chicks,
there are two things I sort of want to know,
and one is like your first day, your first time,
(17:32):
like whether it was like scary or you were like ah,
or was it I'm sort of interested in the very
because everyone gets used to whatever the thing is. But
the first time, first day at work, yeah, you thought
you I don't know what made you go, I'll give
this a go. But when you first did, well, you're like,
this is weirder than I thought, this is better than
I thought, this is scary, Like how was the very
(17:53):
first time?
Speaker 1 (17:54):
If I may so, yeah, yes you can now normally
like I usually, I'm like, I'm like, I'm so bored
of talking about this because people tend to not have
any questions, like.
Speaker 4 (18:05):
They just go, so you were Dominatrix. Oh, just for
you to talk right and then you're like yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
But the thing and the reason that I usually go
like oh, is because people think they're interested until they
hear the truth, and then suddenly they're not.
Speaker 4 (18:18):
Interested anymore, because like the truth is like you.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
Know, it's full of like reality and bluids and weird
emotions and pain and stuff that people are like, oh,
I thought it was gonna be like a cinemax like
sort of situation that was gonna be all like airbrushed,
and you know, I'm like, no, this is like for
real people who go to their jobs, put on makeup
and PVC or whatever, walk across, you know, a threshold
into a room, just like you walk on to a
(18:43):
stage and you're like, Okay, this is who I am,
or you know, I've read the dossi of what the
dude wants.
Speaker 4 (18:48):
This is who I'm gonna be.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
And also it's really funny because I always think about
like I was a dominatrix, I went to Yale, and
people always impressed when you say those things, but no
one ever asks how you did it those things like
I wasn't great.
Speaker 4 (19:02):
That.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
I was really bad, but yes I was not a
good dominatrix. I was a much better comedian writer like
fly on the Wall, I'm going to use this layer.
Speaker 4 (19:15):
I was not great at the job.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
I mean I was a virgin when I started it, Brett,
so like I was, Yeah, that's the whole trick of it.
I went into that job having I was a late virgin,
I hadn't had sex at all. I went into that going, well,
this is a sex free way of getting to look
at men in a sexual way and starting to sort
of like desensitize myself about like the.
Speaker 4 (19:40):
Fear around that.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
And you know, I got a lot of just body fear,
you know, like I am a fat black woman. That
is pretty much as far as sexuality goes in Western culture,
pretty low on the totem pole, except for in the
fetish world, where suddenly all the people who won't admit
that they're attracted to you in the light of day
are like So that was for me, It was in
part validating, but I also kind of needed to feel
(20:04):
some sense of empowerment with it, just because I just
felt like so objectified, just in this body where so
much attention is paid to you about like your flaws,
and then no attention is paid to you as to
like your qualities right, so going into it.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
So sorry, can I just go back? Please?
Speaker 4 (20:21):
Please please?
Speaker 2 (20:22):
So, if you were a virgin and you had this,
you had this idea, but the did the idea come
to you because you knew someone else who was doing it?
Did someone suggest it? Where did it come from?
Speaker 1 (20:32):
So I was on a date with this girl at
the time. She had a friend who was working out
the same dungeon. So and it was just like, I
don't know if you've like, well, okay, look, you probably
have because you're an artist, and I'm certain you've done
the thing where you do something for the story or
because you want to say you've done it.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
I do everything for the story for the.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
Story, right, And so being a dominator, so something I
wanted to say that I done because that makes me
seem pretty cool, badass and more powerful than I actually am.
Speaker 4 (21:03):
So a fake it till you make it kind of gesture.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
So she was talking about it, and she was just
sort of like a normal person, Like she wasn't sort
of like hyper sexualized, like you look like a stripper
or anything like that. She was just like a Brooklyn Witch,
you know, like you do, right, who also worked as
a dumb And I was just like tell me more,
and she's like yeah, I mean we're always hiring, you know,
because they are always hiring because there's a high turnover
(21:27):
rate in a job like that.
Speaker 4 (21:29):
It's kind of like.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
Canvassing, where it's like you do that for one day
and you're like, yeah, I don't care about greenpeace never
mind by So I'm done. Yeah, pretty much, I'm done
because if one more person like gives me the evil
eye on the street and just ignores my existence, I'm
going to lose it.
Speaker 4 (21:44):
So I go in, I have the interview.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
They basically were like, you know what this job is, right,
I'm like yeah. So then they're like, great, you're hired
because basically, you know, you don't make any money until
they make some money, so they may as well hire you.
Speaker 4 (21:55):
So I believe this was my first gun.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
It was just a half hour spanking session. It was
just a spanking session. But the thing is that's thirty minutes, right,
And so you've.
Speaker 4 (22:06):
Got to create a war.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Yes, you've got to create a world in which a
spanking happens in a sexual way, which is not something
I knew how to do because I don't have to
do anything in.
Speaker 4 (22:16):
A sexual way. So I beat this guy's ass like he.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Was a black kid who had stayed out past the
street lights coming on.
Speaker 4 (22:23):
Like I beat his ass like there wasn't like if you.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Give a sexy spanking, you have to like you have
to do the spank and the rub.
Speaker 4 (22:30):
You know, it's like part of it is the teas
and part of is the.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
Withholding and then the smack and like the exhilaration of
not knowing when it's coming. It's not getting wailed on
like your southern grandma with a switch was like, you know,
I beat this grown man's ass, and like I didn't
do a great job because like he didn't finish, which
is how you know you've done your job right right,
(22:53):
And he goes.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
Woof, no, no storyline, as in you just walked in
and just yes.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
Mean I was like trying to be I'm like, yeah,
been over, get on, get on this spanking horse.
Speaker 4 (23:08):
You've been bad.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
I just beat his ass and then took his cash.
Speaker 4 (23:14):
Can't you just so?
Speaker 1 (23:16):
Fortunately, you know you work with other people who like
you know, they'll show you how to use a flogg,
or they'll show you use the whip, or they'll let.
Speaker 4 (23:22):
You sit in on their session.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
Because the guy likes being you know, voyeurism or he
likes being looked at or whatever. So you get a
chance to go see and you go, oh, that's like
how you create a character, and you know, or I
mean not even a character, but like literally how you
sort of create a power dynamic, you know when you
come into the room and you know, I mean there
were women who were younger than I was, who had
(23:44):
been doing it for and you know, there were a
couple women I worked with who would like either done
it right out of high school or dropped it whatever,
you know. And then there are other women who like
went to Ivy League schools or putting themselves through nursing
school or college or whatever.
Speaker 4 (23:56):
It was like the whole gamut of women.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
It's like the coolest aroar, you know what I mean.
It's not just like you know whatever girls named Jessica
and learn who are like ah, but it was just
like women from like all walks of life. And so
you got to see someone who's like, I'm like this,
Chuck's younger than me. She's basically a kid, but she
knows what she's doing and she knows what she has
how to wield this attention and how to give that
(24:20):
attention back to someone in a way that's still you know,
because the submissive is always the center. They are the
ones who are getting you know, like I'm far more
submissive than dominant because I like having attention paid to me.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
Yeah, you woant to be which is the.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
Exactly which is you know, when you're the submissive, everything
is happening to you because of you at you, So
then it is about being able to not only empathize
but also to push beyond you know, what is comfortable
for some people. Some people are like super into pain,
and I get the way the brain works and how
that fires off of pleasure because they're right next to
(24:57):
each other. But at the same time, you're like, this
is kind of of like but like I don't want
to stick needles in you. I don't want to keep
twisting you nipples to they fall off, Like I don't
want to do that, but you're into that, So I'm
gonna have to like find a way to do that
or be like I can't do that level of pain session.
You have to give that to someone who's really just
like like I mean, I worked with a woman who
(25:18):
was studying to be a nurse. She had no problem,
Like she knew exactly how to put a needle in someone,
cut someone whatever. She's like, wait, and those were fun too,
because it's like that's just a science experiment. When a
guy's like put postpins all over my balls, I was
just like, let's see how many of these I can
put on before you scream loop. You know, like at
that point, you're just like a kid who's been given
a chemistry set.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
The first one, Yeah, the first one were you scared,
turning up we you like us, and then were like,
I know it's just this, it's just a person in
the room.
Speaker 4 (25:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
I was less scared then than I would be now.
Like I think that you can do magnificently terrible things
when you're young because you don't know, you don't know
what you're risking, you don't know what you have to lose.
I always felt like you get much more sensitive as
you get older, because I think you just like have
enough experience to know what kind of pain or hurt
(26:09):
or something could result from what you're about to do.
When you're twenty three, twenty four, you're just like, I
don't know, show me something, like I haven't done shit,
so like just show me anything, like.
Speaker 4 (26:20):
I don't know what does this do like?
Speaker 1 (26:22):
And then later you're like, oh, I did spend a
whole year in therapy about that thing when I was
twenty three, but I needed to do that to have
like something to work on. So when I came in,
I was just more like, Okay, well they hired me.
I guess they'll, you know, like any job. I guess
they'll show me what to do on the day. Absolutely
forgot an outfit.
Speaker 4 (26:39):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
Yeah. So the second question I want to ask, and
I appreciate you talking about it, is you went in
a virgin and one of the reasons you did was
to you know, learn stuff. Did it change your worldview
on sex? And like did it make things better and
more exciting? Did it make it worse?
Speaker 1 (26:58):
So there's a mini levels suck question. I can't just
answer a question for like one sentence.
Speaker 4 (27:02):
I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
It'd be much snappy as a podcast if I did.
But I think that there was what happened in the
immediate and then what happened in the long term. Like
I think there was part of it in the immediate,
like when you I'll be real Frank when you have
enough dudes on their hands and knees beating off to
like something you just did. Like at some point you're
just like, ugh ah, these guys just like want to
(27:25):
get something from you, get off and then go, and
it starts to change your worldview about men in a
way for me that I was like, this isn't necessarily
what I need upfront, do you know, because at some
point you start to just go like, oh god, all.
Speaker 4 (27:39):
Of you just like seething animals looking.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Ah everywhere your look just users uh, you know not
that that isn't helpful information have because later you can go,
you know, all of us have our moments in which
were just gross. I happened to have worked in a
place where I am seeing people at a certain state
in their lives. Even though ninety percent of the time
(28:01):
they're at home with their kids, or they're at the office,
or they're doing other things. This ten percent they're just like,
I need a stranger to do this thing to me
because I'm too afraid to tell somebody who's in my
life about this because I think they'll leave me. So
I need a place where I can pay someone so
I can be my most base possible, right, So I
understand in retrospect that that was a specific kind of
(28:22):
you know, view of humanity that I was getting at
the time, But it did very much open my eyes
up to kind of like what power dynamics can come
into relationships, sexuality, and just like the outside world in
a way that I think was really elucidating. Like once
you see that, it's hard not to transpose those images
(28:42):
onto like the default world and be like, I see
what this scenario is, or like, you're the kind of
guy who really just likes be shot on, so I'm
not gonna say you listen to you like I can
see from your face, so yeah, yeah, yeah, you're big
and important, but like, shut the fuck up because you'll
go in and just have a girl squad over your face.
And not that there's anything wrong with that per se,
(29:02):
but it makes me go, well, like, stop tooting your
own horn, because I know what you like. So but yeah,
for me, it let me go like, oh, I can
see things that I might be into, Like I know
that there are things that I maybe am not into,
but there are other things. I was like, oh, I
definitely see the appeal of that, you know, and I
think it made me a little less, Like I don't
(29:24):
know that I would have been necessarily super judgmental anyway,
but it made me a lot less just because anything
anybody's ever been like, oh I'm really into this, I'm like, yeah,
I've seen people who are into ten Times worship. So like,
that's not gonna it's not gonna make me walk away
from you or judge you or whatever. It's gonna make
me go like, huh, I wonder where that came from,
because typically when you're enacting some weird fantasy, you're like,
(29:45):
you clearly had something like this happened to you, like
at puberty, and it got stuck, you know, Like I
did one where like a guy wanted us to dress
up like cheerleaders and make fun of him like he
was in high school.
Speaker 4 (29:56):
And I was like, so when did this happen?
Speaker 1 (29:57):
And you got like a surprise boner and and this
was like a thing that switched in your head. And
now you're constantly trying to like, you know, get the
same high that you got from that moment.
Speaker 4 (30:06):
You can't quite get it, you know.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (30:09):
So anyway, anyway, it's.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
It's it's a fascinating view into the universe. But I
also it's like we all everybody fucks, do you know
what I mean? I mean almost everybody, right, you know,
I guess unless you whatever, but everybody fucks. And it's
a thing that we're like, we can never talk about it.
And I was like, but I wish that someone had,
like I wish I didn't have to learn the things
that I learned there there. I wish my mom would
just spent half a day just being like, Okay, this
(30:33):
is gonna happen, and then this is gonna happen, and
don't feel bad because then that's gonna happen.
Speaker 4 (30:37):
It's gonna be fine, you know, like.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
And sometimes you're gonna be fucking grice. You do guys
that sometimes it's like you're a fucking animal. And then
and then you suddenly not like an animal, and infel
wait about the bit that five minutes got you were
like an animal?
Speaker 1 (30:49):
That's so yes, yeah, that's the best part when you're like,
oh my god, animals. And then you're like, remember what
you said five minutes ago when you were like being
discussing to shut up, you said you liked it.
Speaker 4 (31:04):
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
Yeah, that's so. I also really like I suppose you're
in a fairly unusual situation that if you're with a
guy and he tells you what his thing is scared
to tell you, and you're like, I've cut someone open
and fed them there and tested like that. If Doggie
Stirling's I think that's okay, that's not.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
Like I mean, I'm like, I'm like, half the time
people thinks that people are like, I mean this thing,
I'm like, yeah, that's normal, Like people are into people
who have sex for long enough are into that thing, like,
you know, so weird.
Speaker 4 (31:35):
You know. Anytime a guy's.
Speaker 1 (31:36):
Like, oh, I wanted to try putting something up my butt,
I'm like, yeah, of course you do.
Speaker 4 (31:41):
That's where your g spot is. Like I was, I've
been waiting.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
I can't believe you wait till date too.
Speaker 4 (31:47):
Come on, yeah, let's go, right, I thought liked me.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
Come on, let's do this.
Speaker 4 (31:54):
Amazing. It's the best podcast ever, all right.
Speaker 2 (31:57):
I mean no, I'm absolutely loving this. So, I mean,
I obviously could talk to you about this all day,
but I've forgotten to tell you something and I should
have told you when you came on the zoom.
Speaker 4 (32:09):
Yeah, I do like full disclosure up front.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
Yeah, and I know you're on holiday as well, so
it's a bit of it, like, uh, but I'll just
say it and then we'll deal with it. Okay, But okay,
you've died. You're You're dead.
Speaker 4 (32:23):
Bomber?
Speaker 2 (32:25):
Is it is, isn't it? It is a bummer.
Speaker 4 (32:27):
I had plans and stuff.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
I know. I'm so sorry. How did you die? How
would you die?
Speaker 4 (32:35):
All right? I have too many answers to this question.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
So what I want to say and what I want
to put out into the universe is that I either
die in my sleep after being at least mid.
Speaker 4 (32:46):
Eighties, or I die fast.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
All right.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
If I don't die in my sleep, I just want
to die fast. I don't necessarily like I don't want
to be in the bottom of a well putting lotion
on my skin kind of situation, Like I don't want that,
you know, Like I don't want to be murdered. But
I've often I don't even want to say this good thing,
this tables would I'm gonna knock on it because I'm
quite superstitious, but I've definitely had sort of I don't
(33:10):
know if this is just a natural human thing, because
we're not supposed to be in these scenarios, but like,
have you ever done the thing where you've been on
the freeway driving in a car and.
Speaker 4 (33:18):
Just had a flash of like smash, do you know
what I mean?
Speaker 2 (33:22):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (33:23):
Like, and I was just like, is that did I?
Did I dine a car accident a previous life?
Speaker 1 (33:27):
Or am I just thinking about how my body's going
ninety miles an hour and it probably shouldn't be doing
that in this piece of metal? And so I'm always like,
would it be? You know, like what I don't want
it to be is to be like I'm on one
of these winding roads and then like it goes.
Speaker 4 (33:41):
Off and I'm like, ah no, this is how fuck?
Speaker 2 (33:45):
Like so what you drive off a cliff?
Speaker 1 (33:49):
Yeah, or just like you know, into something like I
don't necessarily maybe it's cool to have that moment, but
I don't necessarily want to have that moment where I'm like, fuck,
this is how it happens. And I know that, you know,
people talk about stories where they have evaded death, where
they've had that thought of like, oh, I guess this
is how I go. You know, I just don't want
it to be murder anything else?
Speaker 2 (34:09):
Right, Okay, you can well I'll make a night you.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
Just no just no murder, like no murder and no
stereotypical deaths like I'm big and black. So I don't
want to dive of like heart disease or diabetes because
fuck everybody not going out that that. I don't want
to fall down a flight of stairs. But you know,
I'm a klutchy person, so to be honest, it'll be
an accident.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
Do you want to go with drive off a cliff?
Because great mind drive off a cliff because you get
a moment of flight.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
And I think that it is a question answered. It
is the last question answered. You're like, this is what
it's like to be in free fall?
Speaker 2 (34:47):
Yeah, yeah, and then and then hopefully you'll be quick
We'll see.
Speaker 1 (34:50):
But yeah, like, but I don't want to answer the
question like this is what it's like to have the
steering column go through your.
Speaker 2 (34:55):
Torso yeah, but here we are, so we are. I'm
so I get in person, you worry about death? Is
that true?
Speaker 4 (35:03):
It is?
Speaker 1 (35:04):
I think because of where I am in life, it
has become a lot more present and real, like I
think somewhere between sort of like I'm forty two now,
so like from like thirty seven thirty eight, particularly thirty
nine was a big one, I guess won the lead
up to forty and two.
Speaker 4 (35:21):
My mom got really sick at that time, and she.
Speaker 1 (35:24):
Was thirty nine when she had me, So I was
kind of looking at like the mirror image of being like, oh,
I'm the age that she was like when she was
my parent and all of that stuff, and like, yeah,
I don't have any of that shit figured out.
Speaker 4 (35:35):
But then neither did she. I just thought she did.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
So mortality became a very real concept of like, oh,
you really do need to like figure out what you're
doing because you don't have that much time left, and
do you want to die still doing some of the
same stuff you're doing. So I think about it in
that way in terms of being like I'd love to
change certain patterns in my life just so that I
don't keep doing this same thing to the exclusion of
(36:02):
other things that this life could contain, you know, because
like I guess my belief is that we do choose
to come into a physical form, that there is some
point at which there's like I like to think of
it as the waiting room or whatever. But like people
have NDEs talk about like oh and then I saw
my grandparents or my parent or whatever, and it was
all this beautiful light and it's like this beautiful technicolor
(36:23):
dream and everyone's like, it's okay, and it's not your
time though, go back and all that stuff, but like
it's all okay, it's gonna be great, and you're surrounded
in love. And I do feel like there's an element
of that that is true. But I feel like when
you come into a form, you choose to take it
all right, you know, you choose to go for the
sake of feeling, and in my opinion, for the sake
(36:45):
of sort of moving forward some karmic debts. I'm going
to go back into a physical form for all of
the beauty, majesty and absolute horror that it contains. And
so yeah, like I guess I think about death in
terms of, like have I done the things that I
came here to do? When I was sitting up there
(37:06):
going I choose her, and I choose this one, and
I choose all of these circumstances, a lot of which
can be quite heavy.
Speaker 4 (37:12):
But I think that I can do it.
Speaker 1 (37:13):
Like I think I can get us across the next
I can click us over a little bit more and
get us across the next finish line?
Speaker 4 (37:19):
Am I doing that?
Speaker 1 (37:21):
Or did I get lost in the whirlpool and forget
why I came and get lost in the store and
go fuck I fucking forgot God damn it.
Speaker 2 (37:29):
Do you think in terms of no, I love love
love this, So you think you you don't plan out
your life, but you put the kind of roadblocks in
the way you go.
Speaker 4 (37:38):
Yeah, I think you choose the circumstances.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
I'll deal with for example, And I'm guessing nothing to
do with you, but as in i'd choose a death early,
I choose this, I'd choose you know.
Speaker 1 (37:48):
Yeah, I mean I don't know if you get to
choose your death, but I do know, Yeah, maybe you do,
because I think everybody has their time. Like there's enough
people who have evaded death and enough people who just
died apropos of nothing for me to go, there's a
day with your name on it?
Speaker 4 (38:03):
Yeah, you know what I mean. And I didn't used
to believe that way, but.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
Yeah, if you could know the day with your name
on it, would you want to know?
Speaker 4 (38:10):
Oh? Fuck, no, that's too much, Like it's okay, I
have a two minds of that, Like if I was
in the position where someone's like, you have X amount
of weeks or months to live, that's a gift.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
That's like, okay, great, then I'm going to do it
all because now's the only time that there is and
it immediately puts you into the present in a way
that most people don't actually live their lives.
Speaker 4 (38:34):
But if I knew, I don't know. Like if I knew,
I don't know. Like if I knew it was like
ninety five, maybe I'd forget. But if I knew it
was like fifty five, I spend so much time being
like why me? And what the fuck?
Speaker 1 (38:46):
And like, well, maybe I need to be famous or
maybe I need to write all of the Like it's
different when it's like five months than when it is
like fifteen years. Like that's just sort of like a
lot of unfair. Like I know, me, I'd spent a
lot of time sulking.
Speaker 2 (39:05):
You really make the best of it, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (39:07):
Five months, I can deal with that. Like I don't
know about you. I'm a coper. I do well with
a deadline, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (39:13):
And if and if a deadline's in a month, or
like if a deadline's tomorrow, that's what I'm gonna do
the most work. If deadlines in the month, I'm gonna
wait until the deadlines tomorrow and.
Speaker 4 (39:21):
Then do the more.
Speaker 2 (39:22):
Yeah. Absolutely, So a.
Speaker 4 (39:24):
Deadline of fifteen years not good for me interesting, and
a deadline of ninety five is like, well, who gives
a fuck? That's life?
Speaker 2 (39:33):
Yeah, why are you telling me this?
Speaker 4 (39:34):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (39:35):
I was hoping for something nearer, you know, So I
get most shit, don Yeah, I.
Speaker 4 (39:39):
Get a light of fire under my ass.
Speaker 3 (39:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:41):
So when you die, you return to this waiting room,
that's what you think? Or is there like a bit
where you get to have some fun? Is there a
heaven bit? Oh? You guys the waiting room and you
like top up your score of like this was the plan.
Here's the things you've you missed.
Speaker 4 (39:54):
And maybe I mean like so it is still a
worldview of like spiritual reality and consciousness that I'm still
fully forming.
Speaker 1 (40:02):
So I couldn't give you like a clear sort of
lay of the land. But I do think that we
as sort of different souls expressions of consciousness don't always
come back into this planet, this world, this existence. I
do think that there's time that we just sit out
and whether we're in heaven and whether it looks like
clouds and pearly gates or whether it looks like, you know,
(40:23):
like an acid dreamscape of just like color. And you know,
I don't know, but like I do think that there's
time that you're just kind of like up there and
being like wow, things are really magnificent. Wow, the universe wow.
And then at some point, like I don't think everybody volunteers,
but some people are like, yeah, I'll go in there
and play, like I'll go and you know, go in
(40:43):
for around, because somebody's got to go in for a round.
And look at these people like they're about to have
a baby and they're all fucked up and they're definitely
going to pass on a bunch of like you know,
like generational trauma and this and that and whatever, and
maybe I can help or maybe I can do something there.
And then I think you get here and you go
what the fuck have I done? And and you're whipped
(41:05):
out of a womb and you're like, this is the
most uncomfortable I will be for however long this thing
is about to last.
Speaker 2 (41:11):
Yeah, yeah, I don't. I don't disagree with you.
Speaker 4 (41:17):
Nevertheless, I am dead.
Speaker 2 (41:19):
You are dead. And I imagine at this point people
are like, this is a film podcast, and I'm like, yeah, yes,
what's your present?
Speaker 4 (41:28):
But also you're dead, so yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
It's absolutely is well. I have I have some news.
There is this waiting room you talk of. It exists,
but we call it heaven, and it's nice. It's pretty great.
It's quite you. It's quit your favorite thing in it.
What's your favorite thing?
Speaker 1 (41:43):
Off the top of my head, it's shellfish and oral sex.
Speaker 2 (41:47):
Right, so basically the wolves, I mean you might regret
that choice. The wolves are made of shellfish and oral sex.
Speaker 1 (41:54):
I'm just it's if it's got oysters and scallops, I'm
so good.
Speaker 2 (41:58):
Okay, there's ois and scallops everywhere, but unfortunately, whenever you
get near them, they try to perform or a sex.
So is it mixed? It's a mixed. Bill But me up.
Speaker 1 (42:09):
Against the wall legs Kimball like, this is fine, this
is totally fine.
Speaker 4 (42:13):
God said it was cool.
Speaker 2 (42:15):
This isn't quite what I member. It's pretty good. And
in this heaven, well, whilst you're eating oysters and mussives,
we also having all of sex performed on you by them.
The people that are there just watching casually walking past.
They want they want to talk about your life. Weirdly,
(42:35):
You're like, I'm kind of busy, but they're like, yeah,
it's fine, and they're like.
Speaker 4 (42:40):
Oh no, just keep going. We just have some questions.
Speaker 2 (42:43):
Yeah, if you can concentrate on two things. You're like,
I think so. And they say, we want to talk
about your life but through film. And the first thing
they ask you is and you're like, this, I've got
to say, guys, this heaven is fucking weird.
Speaker 1 (42:57):
Like, yeah, we know we wanted someone. No one could
have guessed. None of the religions got this part right.
Speaker 2 (43:04):
Yeah, that is a lot of people who misinterpreted the
older books. We left.
Speaker 4 (43:09):
Oh my god, I love this.
Speaker 2 (43:13):
Okay, so they say what the first thing they want
to ask is what is the first film you remember seeing?
Speaker 4 (43:19):
Desiree bit so okay, Yeah, I mean I don't want
this to be the first film, but I think it
is because of the nightmares it gave me. It's this
film called The Gate.
Speaker 1 (43:30):
Yeah, and it was a horror film from the eighties
and I feel like I saw part of it, but
just the part where the things under the bed were
like eating the fingers of the person on the bed.
Speaker 4 (43:41):
It was like a kid like. It was basically I
couldn't let any of my limbs hang off the bed,
which is a common kid thing. But it was in
part because I had seen the scene where there were
these little demons that came out from underneath the bed
and like saw the hand and the fingers and we're
like ah, and I was like, see, I knew it.
Speaker 1 (43:58):
The shit under the bed. It's going to eat me,
Like I'm going to get on. And so I know
that I've seen other films around that time, but that
I remember so distinctly because I think it just the
fear response that it ignited in me was so salient,
Like for years, well beyond the point of rationality, I
(44:18):
was afraid to have anything hanging off the bed.
Speaker 2 (44:19):
How well do you remember?
Speaker 1 (44:21):
I had to have been somewhere around six.
Speaker 2 (44:26):
I was six.
Speaker 1 (44:29):
I grew up in a city called Diamond Bar, California,
which is right next to Pomona. So because you know La,
I can say Pomona, but nobody knows what's next to that.
It's right next to her to Pomona, which people have
heard of. And so yeah, my parents had moved out
of Los Angeles, to the suburbs. But like at the time,
they didn't even have a street light in that town.
But now it's like a Ridge Pittown or whatever. So
this would have been in Diamondbar, California. I would have
(44:50):
been you know, this would have been around eighty five.
Speaker 4 (44:53):
Maybe I have to.
Speaker 1 (44:53):
Check in some when that film came out, but I'm
guessing like it was on TV and I had two
working parents, which means a lo of parental things that
should have happened, like me not watching shit like that
on TV did not happen. Also, my dad was not
good at being a father in that way, Like he
let me watch The Predator with.
Speaker 4 (45:11):
Him and I'm like, I'm eight, what the fuck's wrong
with you?
Speaker 1 (45:14):
Like even at eight, I was like, this is inappropriate,
Like what are we do? You know? I I've talked
to other people have dad like that, and I don't
know what they think they're doing, but it's not a favor. I.
Speaker 2 (45:26):
Well, but then look how you've turned out. He went wrong.
Speaker 1 (45:30):
You're but because I'm afraid of like seventy five to
five percent of things, because there's so many things like
entities and creatures to be afraid of. In the yes,
that I'm just like, just be good and nice to everyone.
You never know who's a demon wh wants to eat
your fingers?
Speaker 2 (45:45):
Are you? Are you an any child?
Speaker 4 (45:47):
No? I am. Yes, I have siblings.
Speaker 1 (45:50):
I have an older half brother and sister and a
younger brother, so I'm three out of four. I am
a desperate for attention middle child.
Speaker 2 (45:56):
Nice. Okay, that's a great first film. What is the
film that made you cry the most? And now you
a crier?
Speaker 1 (46:03):
I am? And it depends on the thing. I hope
a no one on the podcast can hear how much
wine I'm pouring. But I'm on vacation, so I am
a crier. So when you said that, the okay, So
a couple of films come to mind. The first one,
and I wish I could tell you why, but it
was when I was younger, was Legends of the Fall.
It was the first film that made me cry, like
(46:24):
ugly cry. It was like, you know, right around when
Anthony Hopkins has the stroke and the sons are all
kind of coming back, and I was.
Speaker 4 (46:31):
Just like, oh.
Speaker 1 (46:32):
Like ugly crying at that, you know, And I mean
in retrospect, I don't know how great the film is,
but it's got a lot of sad stuff, like poor
Elliott from ET gets all like killed in World War
Two and like all it. I mean spoiler alert, but
the shit's fucking thirty years old anyway, like you know,
like it's just like there's like a lot of generations
(46:54):
of stuff. So that's the first film that I remember
like gut crying at, but a recent one. And I
don't know how much this counts because it was on
a plane, and I cry pretty much anything I see
on a plane, yes, because I think it's just the
altitude and the transit. I cry on trains a lot too,
like anytime I'm moving. I think that like those liminal
(47:14):
spaces are places where like something can just hit you
and you're like oh and like no defenses. You know,
it'll take a day for my soul to catch up
with me. So I always cry on planes and trains.
So but I watched The Hate You Give.
Speaker 4 (47:27):
Which was really really really welcome.
Speaker 1 (47:29):
It's fucking great, and I was sobbing on the plane
and it was so hilarious because I was next.
Speaker 4 (47:37):
I was in a it was an international flight.
Speaker 1 (47:39):
I was flying from London back to la to see family,
and I was in that middle row of three seats.
I was on the aisle, so I'd watched the film,
and then they were two friends likes of each other,
not my friends, but just two people were friends. But
I say two white girls only because like I was
watching the film and then I watched it. I was like,
sobbing whatever, and then I moved on something else, and
(48:00):
then I saw her turn it on get about twenty
minutes in and was like nope. And I was like, yeah,
what happened to all that work y'all said, y'all wanted
to be doing. Everybody's reading the books and everything. You
can't even make it this damn film.
Speaker 2 (48:16):
It's not a long film, Weaver, It's not.
Speaker 1 (48:18):
No.
Speaker 4 (48:19):
She just got to the first time.
Speaker 1 (48:20):
And I get it because like a lot of times,
I get to tense moments and I know the horrible
thing that's coming and I have to pause and just
go like okay, and then but it's like, because I
know it's worth watching, I'll go back.
Speaker 4 (48:32):
But like I saw her pause and be like I can't,
I can't do it.
Speaker 1 (48:35):
I need to watch, you know, I don't know whatever
something light and I was like okay, fine, fine.
Speaker 2 (48:43):
Really good. I said that film has not come up
on this podcast before, and it's a really good film.
Speaker 1 (48:49):
Not cry God, you watch a lot of films. Yeah,
I can believe you've seen all of this.
Speaker 2 (48:54):
This is so my fing in it? What is that?
It'd be really fun if this book it was just me?
Gay I tell what is.
Speaker 4 (49:03):
Nope, no one either, Nope.
Speaker 2 (49:06):
This is the film book aspisiody hasn't really save FIBs.
That sounds right, check it out. Yeah, Uh, what's what's
the film that scaged you the most? You're easily scared?
Oh you're not, you will?
Speaker 4 (49:21):
I am easily scared.
Speaker 1 (49:23):
Okay, No, I think I want to save that one
because there's Okay. So The Ring scared the shit out
of me. But it was a really well made film.
I really liked it. I watched it. I think I
saw it in a theater first, I think. But what
happened was I was in New York City at the time.
I bought the DVD off it off the sidewalk, like
(49:45):
you do, off of someone who's selling bootlegs.
Speaker 4 (49:49):
And what happened was the bootleg didn't work.
Speaker 1 (49:51):
But I didn't really so I'd seen the film, right,
And that's the whole thing. It's like, you watch a
thing the screen, you have seven days the phone rings.
I put it in and then it wouldn't come on,
and I was like, cause I wanted to watch it again.
That's right, I'd seen it before and I wanted to
watch it again because it was that horror film that
scared the shit out of me. But I was also like,
is really fucking cool and I want to watch it again.
(50:12):
And I was like, what the fuck it's not working
and I literally ran because we had a landline and.
Speaker 4 (50:17):
I ripped the fucking corner out of the wall.
Speaker 1 (50:19):
I was like, no one can call right now, because
I'm like, I will buy into a thing enough to
believe that shit like, and it was just like, oh,
it's just a bootleg that didn't work. But I swear
to god, I spent the rest of the night scared shitless.
And my tag onto that is that. As I mentioned
before about my father not knowing what is appropriate, I
told him I'd really enjoyed that movie and he was like, oh,
(50:40):
you should really see Ring Goo, the Japanese one, Like,
so that's the bit it's based on. It's so much better,
and oh like, if you like that, you should watch audition.
Speaker 4 (50:47):
I bought audition. I couldn't make.
Speaker 1 (50:49):
It through audition because you've see an audition, you know
what the fuck happens in there. And at some point
when the tongue got pulled out, I was like, goodbye.
I did what the white girl on the plane did
next to me. I never finished that film because I
was like, I could tell there were still a good
half hour left, and I was like, oh, we're we're started,
yeah at dismemberment, So I got a dip. So yeah,
(51:11):
I think that stopped me doing horror for a little bit,
because my dad was like, you should really get into horror,
and I was like, I can't objectively appreciate things like
when people get shot in action films. I like tense
up and like hold myself, Like I'm too emotionally empathetic
for violent films like that, So I just had to stop.
But yeah, the Ring was amazingly scary, but like scary.
Speaker 2 (51:33):
Yeah, that's great. What is the film that people don't like?
It's not critically acclaimed, but you love it unconditionally and
you're let everyone else is dumb?
Speaker 1 (51:42):
Okay, I don't know if people dislike it, like I
haven't looked at it's rotten tomato score.
Speaker 4 (51:47):
But I know that it doesn't.
Speaker 1 (51:48):
Get mentioned very much from like the sort of cadre
of nineties films that like we all sort of really
enjoyed and talked about. And I love Don't Tell Mom
the Babysitters Dead.
Speaker 4 (52:00):
So much, right, and I don't and I don't know
if people are like that's a great film where but
like people don't talk.
Speaker 2 (52:06):
About it's a done, dude, that is such a good
thing and that it was right.
Speaker 1 (52:14):
And it was like, you know, it was like I
think Christina Applegate had come out of the like married
with children sort of like and like I didn't even
know what a grunion was until I.
Speaker 4 (52:22):
Saw the film.
Speaker 1 (52:23):
Like there was so much good stuff happening in that
and the whole like we're going to band together and
sort it out because there was like I must have
been around the time of stuff like adventures and babysitting
and probably you know, like there was like like Ferris
Buellis The Day Off started that thing of like.
Speaker 4 (52:37):
Hey, we're kids left on her own, like wait can
we get up to But like I.
Speaker 1 (52:41):
Don't know, I can watch Don't Tell Mom The Babysitters
Dead Now and she'd be like, yep, I'm into it.
Speaker 4 (52:47):
I love this movie so much.
Speaker 2 (52:48):
Right, great, Great, said, I'll tell you what. I'm actually
giving you sixty points for that. Thank you. Yeay, Hey,
what is the film that you used to love? You
loved it a lot, and then you've watched it recently
and you've gone out, No, I don't like this anymore
for whatever reason that might be.
Speaker 1 (53:04):
The thing is all that's coming up is stand up.
That's that isn't a film, Because when you ask me
this question, the first thing I think of, obviously it
isn't going to stand up. But the first thing I
think of is watching Bill Cosby himself, which is not
a film.
Speaker 4 (53:19):
It's a stand up thing.
Speaker 1 (53:20):
But it was one of the things that I watched
when I was younger, before I became a stand up,
that was like, wow, this is the thing you can do,
Like wow, like I want to be a stand up.
And I remember watching it with some friends and this
was like before all of the you know, like before
we all knew he was a rapist, and we watched
it and I was like, this isn't funny, and like
that was the first experience I remember having of just
(53:40):
being like I thought this thing was like golden and
untouchable and it's not, you know, And I guess stand
up has an easier time of doing that.
Speaker 4 (53:48):
If I think of a film, I'd.
Speaker 1 (53:50):
Have to think, like the problem is I love so
many things from like the eighties that are classic eighties comedies.
I don't know I would ever abandon, you know what
I mean, like everything that like Bill Murray, Steve Martin,
or like Chevy Chase did in the eighties, Like I
don't give a shit. I mean, I don't care which
vacation movie it is, like I don't like and I
(54:12):
don't care how dated it is, Like fuck, this is
the one where you've got me stumped.
Speaker 2 (54:18):
I would accept Bill Cosby himself because it was released
as a film. There is stand up films.
Speaker 1 (54:26):
I invited people over and we were like, yeah, we're
gonna watch it, and we all sat there not laughing.
And this was not because we judged the man. But
I remember watching this and just being like this was
so key to me, like thinking that stand up comedy
was a thing that I could ever do, and I
don't understand what I saw in it or what is
missing anyway, but that was the one. I'm sure in
(54:49):
two days I'll be like, ah, this was the movie
and I'll just record myself saying it and we'll super
impose it.
Speaker 2 (54:54):
Cool. Yeah, we could do that. We could do that.
What's the film that might not be special, but it's
the film that means that nice to you because of
the experience you had around seeing it that will always
make it meaningful.
Speaker 4 (55:06):
Ah fuck, this is okay.
Speaker 1 (55:09):
There are two answers, and one has a much better story.
I should tell that one, even though it's not like
the film has meaning to me, even though the film
is not like so like, the lighter answer is the
film Scrooged. I watched that film over and over with
my family. It's the one holiday thing that we actually do.
We never celebrate Christmas really and like there wasn't very
(55:31):
much that happened around that time, but we always sit
down and watch that, and it was something that could
bring everybody together. And it's just my family's taste of
Christmas film because it's not going to be too you know,
schmalty or two whatever, but it's something we can laugh at.
But it's something that does always sort of hit you
in the gut.
Speaker 4 (55:47):
At the end and make you go like uh.
Speaker 1 (55:49):
So that to me, like, I'll still put it on,
and even though it's extremely dated and all that stuff, like,
I still have those like warm cockles of like feeling.
I had to say that before I say the film
that probably actually deserves the rightful spot of this answer
because of what happens surrounding it. So that is Jordan
peels Us, which is one of the scariest films that
(56:09):
I've ever seen, but also scary in a like psychologically, spiritually,
very profound way, obviously because of what the message of
the film.
Speaker 4 (56:17):
Is, but because of how I saw it.
Speaker 1 (56:20):
So back in good old Diamond Bar, California, the house
that I grew up in is where my dad lives.
Speaker 4 (56:26):
Now.
Speaker 1 (56:26):
My mom when they get out divorce, moved out blah
blah blah, but my dad still lives there. So and
when I hang out with my dad, he wants to
watch something like a movie or something because that's his language,
do you know what I mean? Like, you know, like
he's that kind of man who like doesn't know how
to communicate, and he's like, let's spend time together and
watch a screen and you're like, Okay, sure, and at
some point you.
Speaker 2 (56:42):
Just say ye, yes.
Speaker 1 (56:44):
So because we had we had watched Get Out together,
you know, when us came out, I was like, oh,
we should watch that one too, you know, and he
obviously has no problem watching a horror film with his
child and being like this is fine.
Speaker 4 (56:55):
So you've seen that film.
Speaker 1 (56:58):
It has, you know, on top of all of the
like you know deep you know, the sort of like
mirror image of the underworld whatever, there's a lot of
like eleven symbology in the film, which has already got
sort of mystical connotations, but also in this film quite
sort of dark, sort of like there's like a gate
through which things can pass through whatever connotations. I bring
that up because I was at his house. We were
(57:19):
watching it, you know, like on his TV whatever. And
when I go out there, I use my brother's electric car.
He has like a Nissan Leaf and it's an old one,
which means it needs to be charged up all of
the time. So I had plugged the car into my
dad's garage port and just left it charging when I
came over to whatever, right, which means I had to
go unplug it when I came back out. So he
was walking me out to the car, saying goodbye, because
(57:41):
like when I go up to visit, I see my
dad a couple times, but then that's it. And he's like, oh,
it's always good to see. Let's hug and be awkward whatever. Anyway,
so he's walked me out to the street. Now, Diamond
Bar is a very suburban town, very quiet at night. However,
it does have a large I mean in the UK
we call them boy racers, right, It's because it is
(58:01):
quite moneyed. There are very wealthy families, very sort of
wealthy U predominantly East Asian families with kids who are
driving around in BMW's Mercede Like it's crazy rich Asians
in this town basically, right. So there's a kid sixteen
seventeen who has a car he has no business fucking
touching that he is driving around, right, which means sometimes
(58:22):
there's zippin' down streets late at night because fuck all.
Speaker 2 (58:25):
Is going on.
Speaker 1 (58:26):
Right, So I'm setting up the scenario for this because
my dad's walking me out to my suburban street, right,
and you know, he's you know, saying goodbye, we hug
and I'm going to unplug the car. He goes up
to the garage up the driveway to go unplug that
part of it, to like.
Speaker 4 (58:40):
Pull the plug back into the car.
Speaker 1 (58:42):
So I'm standing in the street next to my car
that's parked on the street. As I'm unplugging the car,
I feel and here before I see a car at
the top of my hill booming down the street. Like
this is a residential twenty mile an hour street. This
car is going sixty right because this kid is going
to like just zip down the street and zip onto
(59:04):
his home and whatever the fuck else. And it's a
hill that has a curve and then you get to
the bottom, which is where my house is. So I'm
standing in the street and I feel with my gut
and like my third eye and like my soul this
car coming. And the only I can only describe it
like the way you feel in a dream where you're
like something's wrong. And I felt this car coming and
(59:28):
I wanted to in my gut, I just wanted to
run up into the house. I wanted to run up
into the driving into the house because I was like,
this isn't safe, Like it's not even safe for me
to be on the street. I need to get the
fuck away from this. The car zooming around the corner.
The guys in the car don't expect there to be
anybody on the street because it's eleven o'clock at night.
It's eleven eleven at night, which I find out afterwards
(59:50):
after what happens next, which is they see me in
the middle of the street because I can feel the
wind of it. He slams on the brakes fish tails
into a wall, into like a residential wall of someone's
house halfway down the street because he saw me. I
saw him, and I was like, this can't fucking happen.
And he slams on the brakes and flies into a wall.
(01:00:12):
So then we spend the next forty five minutes like
getting nine one one in the fire department whatever, because
these kids have slammed a fucking convertible into a wall.
Air bags have gone off there, passed the fuck out,
you know, and I like, like, and my dad's running
down and he's like, what happened.
Speaker 4 (01:00:28):
I was just like standing.
Speaker 1 (01:00:29):
I was still standing in the street, because you know
how you're like in that situation, I would do this,
and that you're not gonna do shit. You're gonna stand
stock still and try not to piss yourself, like I
couldn't move, and I went down to call nine one
one after the crash and it was eleven fucking twelve,
which means it happened at eleven eleven. And I just
watched that fucking film and I was freaked the fuck
out the entire night.
Speaker 4 (01:00:51):
Because like we waited for an hour, they got taken away.
Speaker 1 (01:00:54):
You know, they were okay in the end, but like
I was just like something about that film felt like
I had crossed over into the like from the upside
down into the real world in a way where I
was like I didn't expect that shit to follow me.
So that is the right answer to your question, because
I will never forget that film or that evening or
(01:01:14):
what happened to my life after I.
Speaker 4 (01:01:16):
Saw that film.
Speaker 1 (01:01:17):
King Hell, yeah, and I'm glad that I'm alive because
I could not be.
Speaker 2 (01:01:22):
And they're okay. They were like, yeah, they were.
Speaker 1 (01:01:25):
I mean they're okay, only because I was checking the
newspaper to see if they had died.
Speaker 4 (01:01:29):
It was just like, oh, there's a car crash.
Speaker 1 (01:01:30):
And my dad was like, I assume they're okay because
there's no flowers in front of that wall.
Speaker 4 (01:01:34):
And I was like dude, that from a fuck up
thing anyone's ever said. But you're not wrong.
Speaker 1 (01:01:39):
So I think they're okay, probably because they're seventeen, do
you know what I mean? The kind of shit that'll
kill you when you're forty is the kind of thing
that you kind of like go like, oh, yeah, I
remember that fucked up thing that happened I was seventeen,
you just like walk away from. So I think they
were okay because there was no notice that they died, but.
Speaker 4 (01:01:53):
Yeah that happened. God that scar So yeah, I've me.
Speaker 1 (01:01:58):
That's why I'm like, I try not to fuck with
horror films, but like though, there are some really excellent
horror films out there, so I get why people are
into them because of what they do to the human psyche.
I just I feel like there's a thin membrane between
me and all of that nightmare, and I'm a very
fearful person underneath it.
Speaker 2 (01:02:16):
So yeah, well it's into obviously. The obviously, the next
logical question is what's the sexiest film you've ever seen?
Speaker 1 (01:02:26):
I mean, come on, we're talking about fear, we definitely
need to talk about sex, So these are I mean,
my answer to this is secretary because obviously it's an
S and M film, But that's not the reason or
the sole reason. The reason is that is the film
that I went on a date with the guy I
lost my virginity to. So I yes, that's how old
(01:02:48):
I was when that happened. We went to see the
film in the theater in the East Village. I can't
remember if it was Sunshine or somewhere else that we
went to. And I remember going into the bathroom after
the film and look at myself in the mirror and
be like, we're getting fucked.
Speaker 4 (01:03:02):
Like we both walked out. It was like clearly we're
turned on and like sure as shit.
Speaker 1 (01:03:07):
Like we went home together and that's when it happened.
So in my head, that's the sexiest film because I
deeply associated with having happ it was it was done,
which is what I wanted it to be.
Speaker 4 (01:03:18):
At that point in my life. Like it wasn't bad.
Speaker 1 (01:03:21):
It was just like it's like the first time you
get high or something, like you don't know what to expect,
so you don't get the full appreciation out of it,
Like you don't even you're just like is that it
Like I don't know, you know what I mean, so
like when it happened, I was like, okay, cool, Like
you know, I mean, he didn't have a small dick
or a big dick. He just had a dick and
we just did some sex and like it was fine.
(01:03:41):
But I was mostly so in my head about like
is happening the thing I've been waiting for happen?
Speaker 2 (01:03:46):
Is happening that.
Speaker 1 (01:03:47):
Like I couldn't tell you it was like it was.
It was mostly just sort of like comical, you know
what I mean. Like, also, he had a small bed
that I think that we maybe cracked a bit, Like
I heard a crack.
Speaker 2 (01:03:59):
So it was funny. There's a subcategory which I mean
I don't even know. Well, we'll see where we get
how we got with it. Traveling boners, worrying why dunes
a film you found a rousing that you weren't sure
you should.
Speaker 4 (01:04:12):
Well, I mean I don't have a lot of like
I've never found like a kid's film arousing. So aside
from that, I mean some people do, but like I
don't necessarily have a lot of judgment about the things
that I found arousing.
Speaker 1 (01:04:24):
But I'll tell you things that weren't supposed to be
arousing that I found arousing, so mostly because of Okay,
so the one that comes to mind is Batman Returns.
Speaker 2 (01:04:35):
Returns is one of the sexiest films ever made.
Speaker 1 (01:04:37):
Okay good because I just I'm between Michelle Pfeiffer and
Michael Keaton's Batman. Like I love a lot of Michael Keaton,
like I was big, like and some of the more
you know, like Johnny Dangerously night Shift like loves some
Michael Keaton. So like I as far as his Batman,
he's my preferred Batman. I'm multipole, that's my preferred Batman.
(01:05:00):
And yeah, that scene where they're fucking dancing, you know
what is it? A mistletoe can kill you if you
eat it. A kiss can be deadlier if you mean.
Speaker 4 (01:05:07):
It or whatever.
Speaker 2 (01:05:08):
Yeah, and then a mask but not wearing musk. It's fucking.
Speaker 4 (01:05:14):
So yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:05:15):
I definitely humped a lot of pillows as a teenager
to that image in my head, so that I don't
but maybe that was supposed to be sexy, but like
after that, I was just like, boom, that's that's it.
That's the first deposit in the wank bank.
Speaker 2 (01:05:27):
Is that lovely? I mean absolutely nothing. I mean, there's
nothing to be.
Speaker 1 (01:05:32):
Yeah, I don't even know if that's troubling, right, Like,
that's not even worried, that's just I mean sense and
sensibility is another one, only because Alan Rickman is so
delicious that like, and everything about his character and that
film is so delicious. I made a comment about him
on stage once where I was like, you know, when
a man sounds like he's good at eating you out,
that's he sounds like he's good at eating And I
(01:05:59):
just just but is you know, he's done a lot
of things, but him specifically in that film, which is
not a particular like him being super broody or whatever,
was always just like whoo, just got me wide on
a flowin' yeah a widen.
Speaker 2 (01:06:14):
Okay, Well is the film? What is the film that
you relate to?
Speaker 4 (01:06:23):
So I need to give you a single answer, not
to the first one that comes. Well. No, So there's
this film and I don't even remember if it's it's.
Speaker 1 (01:06:31):
A film that was like a made for TV movie
kind of thing. I don't even know if it ever
came out in a cinema and I saw it when
I was young, and it's called Most Likely To and
it's basically about this chick who's like a fat chick
who gets made fun of in high school. And then
she has a car accident and somehow she comes out
skinnier after the surgery or something. They fix her up
and they make her hot, which never happens, and then
(01:06:53):
she like goes about getting revenge on everybody now that
she's fucking hot.
Speaker 2 (01:06:56):
Yes, she's a serial killer or something, right or something
like that.
Speaker 1 (01:07:00):
Yeah, Like I just remember seeing it when I was young,
and just because like you know, I still have a
lot of petty grievance about like, you know, when you
receive an award, when you imagine the speech, you're supposed
to imagine all the people that you're thinking who got
you there, But like also part of you imagines being
like fuck you, fuck you and fuck you.
Speaker 2 (01:07:19):
I have a dream fuck you well.
Speaker 1 (01:07:23):
And also I'm just saying because you have a very
high likelihood of winning an Emmy, so like you really
need to think of make some choices now about what
the future is gonna hold, because you might be like,
you know and missus Torrance in fifth grade, but like
probably not so. But but I think only because I
(01:07:43):
have a lot of like deeply seated just being a
fat kid resentment about like taking that rage out. But
I think this is a better example True Stories. The
talking heads are David Byrne film True Stories, so that
in that film, Swoozy Kurtz plays the lazyest woman in town,
and I just was like, fucking goals, Like she lives
(01:08:05):
in her bed and like people come to like the
hairdresser comes to her bed, people bring the phoneder her bread,
people bring like meals for a bed and she's sitting
there watching TV and John Goodman is on this show
talking about stuff, and she's like, I want to meet him,
find me him.
Speaker 4 (01:08:19):
And then he comes over for a day in her
fucking bed, and I just was like, you're I just yes.
Speaker 1 (01:08:25):
Like everything about her living her life from her bed,
I was just like exactly that, Like that, why do
we not accept that that is a reasonable way to live?
When I saw that, I was just like, yep, I'm
all about this life. So the laziest woman in town.
I was just like, I've never had a film speak
so directly to.
Speaker 2 (01:08:43):
Me that is really funny? Is great? Okay, well it
is objectively, objectively the greatest film of all time. Shit
not your favorite necessarily, it's just like.
Speaker 4 (01:08:58):
Maybe there's another one. This is been said before. I
think it's just a perfect film.
Speaker 1 (01:09:02):
I mean it's definitely been said in a million times before,
But Farris Bueller's Day Off is a perfect film in
my mind.
Speaker 2 (01:09:07):
It's a pilm. No, No, I don't think anyone's put
it in the greatest category.
Speaker 4 (01:09:12):
I think like it.
Speaker 1 (01:09:13):
Like I'm not people put like big heavy dramas and
Oscar winners and whatever. I'm a huge comedy person, so
to me, like that is a perfect film, Like that
Bill and t has excellent adventure. Perfect film in my mind,
but like especially because it happened in San Demus, which
is right next to me. But I think Ferris Bueller's
Day Off is a perfect film. And objectively, I think
(01:09:34):
that anyone could watch that in any era and be like, Yeah,
you're a kid dipping out of some shit you don't
want to do.
Speaker 4 (01:09:42):
Who hasn't been that person?
Speaker 1 (01:09:43):
And you were set about having the perfect day and
guess what you fucking had it?
Speaker 4 (01:09:48):
Perfect film?
Speaker 2 (01:09:49):
Yeah? Right? What is the film that you could or
have watched? The miscet Iver and Iver again.
Speaker 4 (01:09:56):
Ooh coming to America.
Speaker 1 (01:09:58):
I've probably seen two hundred times, I mean easily like
just you know, I can do that film with my
family coming to America. And what about Bob? I should
say groundhog Day? Everybody says groundhog Day?
Speaker 4 (01:10:09):
What about Bob?
Speaker 1 (01:10:10):
I've watched that film with our family so many times,
love that film so much, will continue to quote it
with like just someone will say something and then we'll
start popping off of each other. Both of those films
I've seen so much, love them so much, can quote them.
We'll watch them again, put them on, doesn't matter. And
I think, what like a close second Tommy Boy, I've
seen a bazillion times and loved that movie so deeply,
(01:10:34):
and we'll laugh at it now and always.
Speaker 2 (01:10:36):
Yeah. Good list. That is a solid list. We don't
like to be negative, do we desiraate? What's the worst
film you've ever seen?
Speaker 1 (01:10:43):
There's worst as in amazingly bad, and then there's bad bad,
like amazingly bad. Is anything by Neil Breen like Fateful Findings,
like you know, amazingly bad, hilariously bad, like you know
MST three K kind of bad but like enjoyable. But
for me, I will say the film Olympus has fallen
(01:11:04):
only because I walked out of it, because I walked
into it, and then they were just shooting up people
on the White House lawn and it was so extraordinarily
violent for no reason right up top that I was
just like, no, like.
Speaker 4 (01:11:18):
It just it made me mad.
Speaker 1 (01:11:20):
I was like, you haven't even earned any of this,
and you put Morgan Freeman's ass in there to like
fucking condone this shit, you know, because he's the voice
of the president and God and everything. Anytime is like,
we need an official voice, call Morgan up right, And
then it's just a bunch of fucking random violence for
no reason. Like that's not how the government's gonna get
taken down. The Government's gonna get taken down by fucking Facebook,
as we all figured.
Speaker 4 (01:11:40):
Out, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (01:11:41):
Like, I was just I was so mad at all
of it that I was there for ten minutes and
I was with my brother and we walked out and
got our fucking money back. I was just like, it's
so gratuitously violent, like it's and I don't abhor violence,
but it's just like you know, when you see a
Hollywood film that disrespects you, that goes like, oh, they'll
just take the shit, you know.
Speaker 4 (01:12:02):
So yeah, that was one.
Speaker 1 (01:12:04):
I'm gonna put it on the worst list only because
I don't know. It might have been an okay film,
but fuck that film.
Speaker 2 (01:12:09):
Because that's really interesting.
Speaker 4 (01:12:13):
And also sometimes they're selling the violence.
Speaker 1 (01:12:15):
What they're selling is look at how well and how
much we did the violence. I'm like, you can't see
a single fucking titty, but you can see all like
someone be a viscerated and like like it's just so
I just felt like offended about our society and about
filmmaking and everything. I was just like, no, fuck you,
I'm getting this whatever twelve fifty back.
Speaker 2 (01:12:37):
Yeah, that is so fucked up. I mean, look, you probably,
I'm sure people notice about me. I would rather see
a titty than violence.
Speaker 1 (01:12:44):
Yeah, I think everyone on this planet would rather see
a titty than violence, except for certain Republicans who are
in charge of you.
Speaker 2 (01:12:50):
Yeah, it's very Yeah, it's real, that whole thing with
the censorship in America, that sex stuff will get you
an ah and shooting people we'll get you up. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:13:01):
This is a suitable for children over thirteen. Yeah, now
it's fucking not because those the kids who are shooting
up the schools, it's absolutely not okay for them.
Speaker 2 (01:13:09):
Yeah, comedy. You're very funny, very good. What's the film
that made you laugh the most?
Speaker 1 (01:13:16):
Yeah, I mean, like the answers I want to come
back to were the ones that I've watched over and over,
you know what I mean, Like Coming to America, Tommy
Boy make me laugh, like and I've watched them over
and over and they continue to make me laugh over
and over, like it is.
Speaker 4 (01:13:29):
The accommodation of like physical comedy.
Speaker 1 (01:13:31):
And you know, I don't know, just like just some heart,
you know, like I just I don't know, I'm basic.
Speaker 2 (01:13:38):
Just you know, like they fucking classics that they are.
Speaker 1 (01:13:42):
I wish I could think of something that was just
like so much funnier, funnier, but like those are really funny, yeah,
I mean, and there was like basically, you know, like
how sn L had like a really good run of
every time someone would leave and do a film, You're like,
it's fucking great, you know what I mean, Like the
eighties and and well into the nineties, you know, and
(01:14:04):
I mean I mean even some of the Adam Sandler wants,
some of them quite good, quite good, you know, and
even his dramatic turns quite good. But then sometimes I
was just like man, you gotta knock it off. But like, yeah,
I mean, who wait a second, hold on, I made
a quick list. I'm gonna see if there's anything on
(01:14:24):
my cheat sheet that's better than what I've said, because
I did. I was like, I made a little list
of things that i'd seen. Here's another one, and this
is the one that I've seen a lot that is
very quotable. The Golden Child, a lesser, more unsung Eddie
Murphy film. But again, I mean it could go into
a number of categories. But love that film just like
I mean, just you know, like he had to comment
(01:14:47):
on every fucking thing. Only a man who his ass
is narrow can fit down just every moment, even though
they're all like super Buddhist. It's like the juxtaposition of
like the super like Tibetan Buddhist whatever with fucking Eddie Murphy,
who's the one in charge of saving them. Yeah, that's
a great one. I could watch that a million times in.
Speaker 2 (01:15:05):
Laugh now, Desiree, You've been absolutely brilliant, wonderful.
Speaker 4 (01:15:10):
I've loved this. It's been a joy.
Speaker 2 (01:15:12):
Oh for me too. However, when you were driving along
a windy road and I knew what day it was
because I know the day you're going to die, but
you don't want to know. So I saw you saw
nothing coming, and you just sort of turned the corner,
but the corner was much more turny than you thought,
and you just drove off. You just drove off the cliff,
(01:15:34):
and for a brief moment, you were flying, Jack, You
were flying, and you you held out your arms and
you were amazingly peaceful, despite knowing that very soon it
would all end. And you crashed into the ground and
your body went straight through the windscreen into the ground
and crushed within too itself. It was. It was disgusting.
(01:15:59):
And then the car exploded. And I was walking about,
walking about the sort of valleys, and I was like,
where's Desra? Seeing her for a while and I got
a coffin with her, you know what I like. And
I see this sort of smoldering wreckage and I looked
through it and there's coyotes eats in your remains, and
(01:16:22):
I'm like, bloody, yeah, as if she's not been through it,
and I show them off. I go, fucking hell, that's
come to get you, come to get what's left of you.
But it's a fucking mess. There's like ash, there's bits
everywhere glass. Anyway, I do what I can. I put
everything in the coffin, but there was I've packed you in,
(01:16:44):
but there's no room in this coffin. Now it's like
it's absolutely full because of the bits of car that
came with and the bits of sort of coyote ship.
I mean, I'm really sorry, but it's not pretty.
Speaker 1 (01:16:55):
Okay, as long as you can fit it into like
a mushroom bag. I want an eco burial and I
want to be compost it, so.
Speaker 4 (01:17:01):
Get it in the bag.
Speaker 2 (01:17:03):
But the thing is, there's only enough room in this
eco bag for me to slip one DVD into the
side review for you to take to the other side.
And on the other side, it's movie night every night,
and one night it's your movie night. What film are
you going to show everyone when it's your movie night
while the oysters and clams are are performing or a
sex and you during the screening.
Speaker 4 (01:17:25):
I've used up so many good films I wish I
could so, I think.
Speaker 1 (01:17:30):
I mean, is this a terrible answer? It's my movie
night in the afterlife.
Speaker 4 (01:17:34):
Yeah, there's the funny answer, and there's the email. No,
there's a funny answer. I think I want to just
put on be Peewee's Big Adventure.
Speaker 2 (01:17:41):
Right, that's a great film to show people. They'll fucking
love it.
Speaker 1 (01:17:46):
We all just need to remember to you know. And
also like that was you know what I mean, Like
everyone I talked to who's around our age talks about
being freaked out about Large March at that point, and
they're like, you know, we're all like, oh my god,
it's so scared.
Speaker 4 (01:18:01):
It's a fucking claimation. We're all scared shitless.
Speaker 1 (01:18:04):
And there's something so delightful, you know, when he's going
through Exhibit B and then he's like Exhibit CU. Like
there's just so many great moments. It's such a darling film.
Paul Rubin's such a darling person. Like, yeah, I just
was like, that's what That's what I'm gonna put on.
I mean, I've gone through all of the films and I'm.
Speaker 2 (01:18:23):
Like, this means so much to me.
Speaker 1 (01:18:26):
But like, once I'm in the afterlife, it's like, come on,
you know, let's have a fucking laugh. Let's you know,
let's put something on for the whole family. Let's let's
scare some of the kids who died too early. Because
they're here too and they got to watch.
Speaker 2 (01:18:37):
Something they need to see and be like, oh my god,
that's right, you're brilliant. Is there anything you would like
to tell people to look out for to watch to
listen to before we go? Sure?
Speaker 1 (01:18:52):
So, uh, if you are in the UK, please do
watch the pilot of the Love Triangle which is going
to be on E four and then see for But
also I think if you are in other places.
Speaker 4 (01:19:03):
You could check me out.
Speaker 1 (01:19:05):
I'll be on this next upcoming season of Task Master,
which is very exciting and with such a delight, like
one of the delights of my life to do. You
don't get gigs that fun very often, so that was
really wonderful. So and that'll be out in the like soon,
like in the autumn, like I think it's to where
the end of the month or you know, beginning of
(01:19:25):
octob or something like that. Also, there's gonna be another
season of Too Hot to Handle because I'm in it's
not gonna stop, so check it out so I can
keep having work.
Speaker 4 (01:19:33):
I'm trying to buy house, guys.
Speaker 1 (01:19:35):
So please please also please please watch it. Please do
not slide into my DMS to ask me how you
can get on the show, my name is not undercasting.
If I could collect the hundreds of messages they're like, hey.
Speaker 4 (01:19:48):
Hell, can I get onto it? I'm like, may, I
don't know. I don't want to know. I don't know
how these people. I don't even know where.
Speaker 2 (01:19:55):
The people come from.
Speaker 4 (01:19:56):
Like they're lovely, but I have no idea. Please stop,
but yes, do check it out.
Speaker 2 (01:20:00):
Deserate, You're amazing. Thank you so much for doing this
and for your time. I hope you have. You're amazing.
Speaker 1 (01:20:08):
Thank you so much, and I'm so glad that I
avoided doing during the podcast. What most people do is
to congratulate you on how amazing your show is.
Speaker 4 (01:20:17):
I feel like your podcast. Stop, no, it's so good,
it's so good, and cut this part out. But I
just wanted to tell you that you're fucking dope and
well done.
Speaker 2 (01:20:27):
And I'm going to start. Do you hate it when
people thank you good night?
Speaker 4 (01:20:32):
Just say good name?
Speaker 3 (01:20:36):
So that was Desiree Birch on a rewind classic episode.
Be sure to check out the Patreon page at patreon
dot com slash Brett Goldstein, where you get extra chat,
video and mixtapes at various tears and otherwise. If you
fancy leaving a note on Apple podcasts That would be
lovely too, but make it a review of your favorite film,
much more fun and way more interesting to read for
(01:20:59):
everyone involved. Thank you so much to Desiree Birch for
fun times and presents on the podcast. Thanks to Scrubius
Pipp and the Distraction Pieces Network, thanks too. And this
is where Brett thanks me for editing and producing the podcast,
so I say it's a pleasure. Thanks to iHeartMedia and
Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network for hosting it. Thanks
to Adam Richardson for the graphics and Lisa Lyden for
(01:21:20):
the photography. We will be back next week with another
Ewine classic. But that is it for now. Brett and
I and all of us have films to be buried with.
I hope you're all very well, and in the meantime,
have a lovely week and now more than ever, be
excellent to each other.
Speaker 4 (01:22:01):
By backs outcasts, Bass backs back