August 4, 2020 • 38 mins
This week on Food Court with Richard Blais our judge must decide between two golden, crispy, delicious, perfect... fries. Two delectable sides to any burger, two amazing accompaniments to any BLT, two sidekicks who are versatile enough to become the star... but today there can only be. ONE winner. Writer and podcaster (Popcorn Book Club, Noble Blood) Dana Schwartz has decided to be the Clarence Darrow of food court and take the underdog position that sweet potato fries are in fact the ultimate fried potato option. Writer, actor and Dana's Popcorn Book Club co-host Korama Danquah is in the court to argue for regular fries and as someone who once ate fries every day, she's an expert on the topic. How will our judge decide?
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Creamy Lunch, Creamy Crunchynch food Court, food Court, food Court
with St. Blaze Argue in the food Court Court with
Blase Food. Welcome to food Court, a production of I
(00:35):
Heart Radio. I'm Richard Blaze and this is my courtroom.
Welcome everyone. I'm the host and the judge, so you
can think of me as a multi hyphen it in
case any casting directors are listening, which I hope they
are joining us in the court today. We have two
women who are already friends and who co host the
new podcast Popcorn book Club that covers books that were
(00:56):
recently made into movies and TV shows. First, we have
an author who, in addition to the aforementioned Popcorn Book Club,
also hosts the incredible podcast Noble Blood. It's Dana Schwartz. Hi,
thank you for having me. So happy to have you
and going up against Dana. We have actor, writer and
sit down comedian. It's Karama don Qua. Thank you so
(01:21):
much for having me. Sorry to have to wait for
the air horn that I put in there. Oh it's fine.
I didn't respect the airhorn. I would just like to
say the folly word is incredible. Please factor my praise
into into your final decision. Listen, it has been known
to perhaps sway this judge, but I will get this
right off the bat. This has not happened in an
episode before. But I am prepared with a handheld copy
(01:43):
of the U. S. Constitution for this episode. That's how
serious this is. That's so funny because I also have
a handheld copy of the U. S. Constitution with me.
This is just how we were. Yeah, this is how
it is these days. Now Listen. I love that you
two just started co hosting a show together there, but
that you've brought a case into our court right here
in the middle of what is definitely a honeymoon phase
(02:05):
for you both. Correct. Yes, but we've actually been friends
for almost a decade. So while we are new to
the world as friends, we are old friends to each other. Ah,
there you go. I thought that that was just the
really great acting and writing, the chemistry so good on
your podcast. Okay, now listen, you've brought a tale of
two fries to the food court. But before we get
(02:26):
into that, let's get to know each other a little
bit better. Dana, where are you from and what are
some of your favorite food memories from your childhood? Oh?
I am from the suburbs of Chicago, and some of
my favorite food memories are baking Halla with my mom
and my two sisters for Chabat and for the Jewish holidays.
(02:47):
Just you know, we didn't really bake bread a lot
but or ever except Halla, which, like the smell of
baking bread is like the most amazing thing. And when
I got older, for my birthdays, I would bake my
own cake, which is always a fun thing to do,
and I would get progressively more ambitious. I like that, Wow,
baking your own cake sounds like a punishment, actually know
the opposite. It was the only time of the year
(03:08):
where my mom would let me make a real mess
in the kitchen. It was my birthday, so I was
allowed to do whatever I wanted. I have to listen,
I have to jump right in here. We had an
episode with my kids recently, and they've started cooking a
lot more during quarantine, and I just my chef instincts
like override my dad instincts, and I'm like, I'm just
like horrible in the kitchen with cleaning up everything they do.
(03:29):
I'm like, you have to wipe, you have to clean
that up right away. It has to happen and it's
not good. I should let them be messy, I guess,
is what I'm saying. Or you could teach them early
on how to how to have good instincts because I
never learned it and I'm terrible at cleaning up. Oh wow,
I like that, spinning it in my favor. That could
help you later in today's episode. Also, Dana, real quick,
are you making? Are you baking any bread during quarantine?
Because this seems to be something people are doing. No
(03:51):
I have. I have absolutely not jumped on like the
sour dough train. I have a small studio apartment and
it is a it is takeout city. Baby. There you go,
There you go, helping out the restaurant industry exactly. I'm
so I'm a good Samaritan. What can I say? There
you go? Karama? What about you? Where are you from
and what were your favorite foods growing up? Well? I
am from Los Angeles, California, originally born and mostly raised,
(04:14):
and I my favorite foods growing up while French fries
were a big one, so that is subject near and
dear to my heart, but I also really liked ice
cream sandwiches. My mom used to get these things called
to foodie Cuti's from the grocery store. I think she
got them from Trader Joe's. And they were these like
non dairy ice cream sandwiches that I used to inhale,
(04:37):
and she actually tried to stop me from inhaling them
by hiding the She told me that they were done,
and I was little, so I couldn't reach the freezer myself,
so I insisted that she showed me the empty box
before I would believe that she had in fact exhausted
all of our TOFOOTI cutie resources. You should be the judge.
(04:58):
You need proof, you need proof and evidence. I like.
I like the evidence. Now, this Trader Joe's comes up
a lot on our podcast, especially recently. Now that was
a childhood favorite Trader Joe's item. What are some things
that you're obsessed with nowadays? I love crunchy cookie butter.
That's a big one for me, and specifically the crunchy one.
(05:18):
I don't eat any other butter spreads. I don't need
any nut butters. I do eat butter, obviously, but I
love cookie butter because I finally get why people enjoy
peanut butter, because you can just put it on stuff
and then eat it. It's amazing you show no peanut
butter for you, no, no allergy. No. A lot of
people ask that. I just don't like it. I think
it's gross. I'm I'm alienating people already. That's all right.
(05:43):
I'm surprised we have not actually had a some sort
of peanut butter and jelly debate here, Crystal, this is
our guests are so smart. I'm not, but it just
hit the peanut butter and jelly would be a good episode.
That's a free before you. Yeah, all right, here we go.
Now listen producer Crystal. She did some internet digging, which means,
you know, she's spent forty five seconds last night. Uh,
and she seems to have found that you both went
(06:04):
to college in Rhode Island. That's right, correct, Yes, Yes,
pretty prestigious school, to say the least. Correct. Yes, Now,
was spending some time on Rhode Island? Was it a
seafood awakening for you? Not in college? I felt like
it was. It was a college cafeteria awakening for me.
It was. It was a coffee milk awakening for me personally.
(06:25):
I love coffee milk. I just want to do a
shout out to all of the lovers of autocratic coffee
syrup listening and also Dell's frozen la Oh you took Dell's.
I was going to shout out of Dells. That's my
favorite Rhode Island. Rhode Island beverage. I know the lemonade.
So I have not explained the lemonade to me. It's
exactly what it sounds like. It is frozen lemonade. On
(06:45):
a hot day, you get a little cup of like
lemonade ice slushy. Okay, so it's a it's an Italian
ice of sorts. Just you and you beat me to it.
Karama with the milk coffee, am I saying it is
a coffee milk? No, it's coffee milk, the state drink
of Rhode Island. Now I've been once or twice, but
let's explain what this is to everyone. Absolutely. So, coffee
(07:09):
milk is a lot like chocolate milk or strawberry milk,
where you know how you get like nest quick syrup
and you put it in the milk and you mix
it all together, except you get a coffee syrup. And
so it's just a flavoring that you do that I
believe has no actual caffeine in it, so it's great
for kids, and you stir it in and you drink
it up. And in our cafeterias in college, they actually
(07:31):
used to have a coffee milk dispenser in addition to
a regular milk and chocolate milk one. I never got
that at the v DUB. I never I never had.
I never had cafeteria coffee milk, but I had the
pre made syrup there. You I was gonna play. You
said there's no caffeine in it, and I was like, well,
maybe that's like with all the New England road rage,
(07:52):
Like that's what it was like. Their kids are drinking.
There's trice kids on tricycles drinking coffee milk and getting
all jacked up and fired up Nazi. The other thing
is squid salad. That's a very big Rhode Island thing. No,
never never heard of that. All right, I'm digging into
the I'm going chef level on everyone here, but like
I guess like it's it's it's a cold calamari salad,
(08:13):
but another very sort of iconic dish of Rhode Island.
Enough about Rhode Island, although who knows it might come
up in the debate today. Dana, please tell us about
the case you've brought into the food court today in
a sentence or so, you know, I have brought a
challenging case to to the judge. I sort of see
myself as the Clarence Darrow of food. I'm going up
against a system that is stacked against me, frankly, but
(08:37):
I am am fighting for sweet potato fries. I think
on the merit of sweet potato fries alone, I'll be
able to make my case and prove that they are
superior to the ordinary fries that we have become so
accustomed to that they're standard. But I don't think we can.
We don't we have to sell for standard. Dana. I
know you're an amazing writer. One sentence was the request.
(08:58):
There you're already throwing shade calling them ordinary fries, Karama,
I bet you think that they're not ordinary fries. Correct,
That is correct, and well. I think sweet potato fries
do have a place in the culinary world. Not saying
we should abolish sweet potato fries. It is not. As
the leader of the fry pack, French fries made with
potatoes should hold that distinction. Thank you, chef Wow basically
(09:23):
saying that sweet potatoes aren't even potatoes. We're gonna get
into it, but listen, here's a question for both of
you before we start the heated arguments. Heated to I
don't know, maybe three hundred and ninety five degrees fahrenheit
and some sizzling oil before we get into that argument,
to either of you think there's such a thing as
a bad French fry, though seriously, absolutely I have had
several bad French fries. The worst French fry is a
(09:46):
I'll say it like a merely steak fry, A room temperature,
merely steak fry. Wow, Karama. No one can see us,
but I can see you. You You disagree with that. I
love steak fries, and I feel like they are unfairly
maligned in society, and I think that I've very rarely
met a fry that I didn't like. Perhaps a cold
fry is the worst fry. I will say, I don't
(10:06):
like in and out fries, which is controversial as I
am Californian and also alive in the world. Having this conversation,
respect for realizing that in and out does a lot
of things great. Maybe fries is not one of them
steak fries. Taking shots fired over steak fries. You probably
don't know about. Our pilot episode was a crazy one.
It was crispy fries versus soggy fries. I'm familiar. Insane. Yeah,
(10:32):
I listened to that one, truly insane. Agreed that was
That was a tough one. I don't remember what my
decision was on that. By the way, So you ruled
in favor of crispy fries. You said you did like
a soggy fry, but overall you'd rather have crispy fries.
It's about the majority of fries. That's a summary. Well,
thank you for reminding me of a past verdict. What's
(10:53):
I think? Maybe it's steak fries. Then what's the worst
shape of french fry? I'm gonna go steak fry. I
think just the it can be great steak fry, but
maybe just people don't don't prepare them right, and they
can they can get really merely you don't get the
right textural balance that you wanted to fry. Textual balance,
culinary where it's being thrown around. Karama at least favorite
fry shape. I like all fries. I really genuinely like
(11:15):
all fried shapes. I don't like tater tots. I think
that tater tots should not be a part of the
fry conversation, and they so often are, and I they're
They're like little deep fried potato maggots, and I don't
like that. Wow, Okay, listen, have you ever had a
smiley face fry karama? I have? Yes, Actually, I retract
my previous statement, and I do not like smiley face.
(11:38):
All right, fair enough, but listen, before we get into
our actual arguments here in my court, I like to
have a quick trivia around before we get into the debate.
The winner of the trivia around gets to decide the
order that you present your arguments. But also, trivia is fun,
so let's get into it, shall we. Yeah? Okay, so
you've both found Curated created some sort of buzzer for
our contest today. Dana is your buzzer for the day.
(12:02):
I will be doing a mouth buzz. A mouth buzz efficient,
low impact, great for the environment. I was gonna say,
it's it's it's not only is it a is it
a mouth buzz? But it's very it's it's a bumble bee. Yeah,
it's it's it's adorable. It's yeah, you need bees. I
like this. Okay, Karama, your your sound effect will be
a classic food court sound. The swing is it a
(12:26):
boing or a sprawing? I think it's a I think
it's a brewing. I think it's both the s and
the bee. I love it. It It is a buzz versus
the sprawling. Here we go. It is time to get
into our trivia. Question one. Who was the first author
to pen French fries in literature? Hint? I played a
(12:46):
character in fifth grade from one of his his creations.
That character was named Bob Cratchett. Okay, that is Dana
Charles Dickens. Charles Dickens. Dana, aware of my perform is
from my fifth grade production of a Christmas No that
would be a Christmas Carol. Christmas Carol, Thank you. I
was a big fan of was in the audience. Brought
(13:08):
me to tears. Thank you so much. All right. That
means Dana, you're up one zero. Luckily there's two more
questions left, Karama, and get back in it. Dana listened.
The strategy with the mouth buzzer is pretty good because
you can just make that sound real quick. Karama. You
can't see her. But she's got, she's hurt, she's ready
to go, she's ready to buzz in. Alright, question to
what country opened the first French fry museum, I'm gonna
(13:32):
guess Belgium, Karama. That is a good guess and an
accurate one. It is Belgium. Yes, my reality show judging
paying off there as I threw you a little quick distraction,
you thought you didn't get it right, my heart, it
really did skip a beat. By the way, now though,
what are your thoughts? Quicksidebar, Sorry to do this, Crystal
for your editing, but we can just create museums out
(13:53):
of anything. Now, have you been to the ice cream Museum?
Have you been? Yeah? I have, and I read about
the recent controversy with ice cream museum. There was an
article I can't remember what outlet it was in, but
it was called ice Cream you scream meltdown at the
Museum of ice Cream. That's a great headline. I will say.
As a narcissist, I like any quote unquote museum where
(14:14):
the point is taking pictures of yourself. But I don't
think you can call them museums facts like I I
love a museum and I love a Instagram experience, but
there are different things. Don't call it a museum. Yeah.
Here was my gripe with the Museum of ice Cream
in particular because I went to that one and then
was vowed never to go to another museum that was
(14:34):
an Instagram sensation. I felt like I didn't learn about
the history of ice cream. And there were art installations there,
but I didn't learn about any of the artists who
created the art installations. So for me it was twofold.
I learned neither about ice cream nor about the representations
of ice cream that were present in the space, and
as an artist, that hurt me. I remember once going
(14:58):
to like the Museum of Sex in Amsterdam and we
were like, you know, young and being like, oh, that'll
be fun, and I was so dismayed to find I'm
a history buff, you know, I do noble blood, I
have a a semi basic timeline of history, and like
so much of their information was inaccurate that that was
not the point of the museum. I guess it was
(15:19):
just for American tourists to show up and be like,
I'm at the Museum of Sex. But it broke my
heart that the museum was was a historical. I made me.
It made me lose faith in the in the in
the phrase museum of full of lies. But my response
to both of you, and I hate to be basic,
but Karama, did you jump in a pool of sprinkles?
(15:40):
You did? And that means something so freaking loot. And
now I have to change to I've been marketing some
of my live appearances as the Museum of Molecular Gastronomy.
It's just an event that I cater but it seems
to work. Smart smart marketing. Okay, here we go. Question
three tied one one. Question three will determine who gets
to the decision whether to present first. Question three, what
(16:02):
is the name of Van Gogh's masterpiece that features a
scene of ugly peasants enjoying a hearty meal? Oh, Dana knows.
It's on the tip of her tongue. Perhaps I've been
to the museums then my Amsterdam experience. Did you take
a much there? Okay, Dana with the bumblebee buzz the
(16:25):
potato eaters, Dana crushing the game or should I say
mashing the potato eaters? Great answer, and I respect that.
I respect that art knowledge and I just did not
know I was never going to get that, and I
seed to your superior van go knowledge. You know where
I learned that? A museum, A real museum, A real museum. Listen,
(16:50):
but I'm going to open up the potato Museum and
it's just gonna be five tables where you eat different
types of potatoes. I don't we're at that is a restaurant, Yes,
it's it's called is in this a restaurant? Actually not
the potato eaters, which both of you are, as evidenced
by the case you've brought to our our sweet potatoes
actually potatoes. We might get into that, all right. That
(17:12):
means that Dana, you have won two points to one,
and you get to make the biggest decision in a
food court episode. You get to decide whether you want
to present your case first or second. I will go first.
This has been happening recently, but guests coming on deciding
to present first, which I would say is an outlier.
Usually with this decision, that means you have a lot
(17:33):
to say. That's usually what that means. And I recognize
in a court case, Look, it's it's it's challenging, but
I I think that's the way I want to go,
I see myself as the prosecution here. Wow, there we go.
Big words right there, and before we get into our
actual argument, it's time for a quick break. I was
(17:58):
just gonna say, Richard, that new key maker is making
this so that when all this quarantine is over, you
have to invite me in karama over. Yes, this is
a new request, done deal. I mean, are you kidding me?
Like we're so I mean one, yes, we're friends now,
but like any time, like I'm we're ready, I'm ready
to cook, We're ready to have guests. Oh my gosh,
I'm ready to eat. We are back today. We have
(18:18):
the case of the French fry versus the sweet Potato Fry,
and we're about to get into the arguments. The way
this works is that you'll each have three minutes to
state your case. During the three minutes, you need to
lay out your case and not focus on your opponent
or their case. Use the first three minutes to passionately
make your own case. And I have a feeling that
both of you understand what I'm saying. And I'm saying
(18:40):
that because listen, in all fairness to everyone else has
been on the show, you might be the two smartest
people who have ever been on the show. I'm just
I'm just saying no offense to producer Crystal Laer. Okay,
here we go. I'm talking about myself included. Listen, if
you want to go low and get dirty, which you might,
you will have your rebuttal rounds to just go nuts
on each other and say all the stuff want to say.
Because this is America. Here we go. It's time to
(19:03):
get into this. Dana, You've made the interesting choice to
present first. You're talking about why sweet potato fries are amazing.
Your three minutes starts now. If I might quote Bruce Lee,
all fixed set patterns are incapable of adaptability or pliability.
The truth is outside fixed patterns. The truth is I
(19:26):
understand that typical, boring, ordinary French fries are the standard
you order fries at a restaurant. Simple white potatoes are
what you receive in return. But just because something is
standard doesn't mean it's the best choice. If we simply
continued on doing things as they've always been done, we
would be dying of dysentery at thirty five by the
(19:47):
light of whale oil lamps. So I urge you to
look outside of simple wrote, habit and find something deeper,
the elusive truth of which Bruce Lee spoke, and that
simple truth is just that sweet potato fries on the
whole are superior to regular fries. First, let's look just
from a basic vitamin nutritional standpoint, the fundamental purpose of
(20:12):
which food serves in our society. Sweet potato fries explode
with antioxidant rich vitamin A, and they also contain more
fiber and potassium than they're boring white counterparts. But I
understand what you're thinking. I'm not eating fries to be healthy.
When I'm indulging in fries, I want the maximum enjoyment
(20:33):
of the experience. It's not about vitamins and nutrition. Well,
that's also why sweet potato fries come out ahead. When
you order typical fries at a restaurant, there's a wide
variety that could come with your meal, everything from steak
fries to the tator top of which ms Donka spoke
to smiley faced fries. Chefs continually try to reinvent, reinvigorate
(20:57):
typical fries to make them more exciting and more patible.
The thing about sweet potato fries, you typically know what
you're getting you're getting the platonic ideal of fries, which
are thin, crispy on the outside, soft mushy on the inside.
There's a reason there's so many varieties of French fries.
Typical white potato fries are boring. They need a little
(21:20):
There's a reason when millennials go to restaurants and they
see tater tots on the menu, there's so much excitement.
There's like that that weird fixation that people have with
tater tots. No, sweet potato fries do all of the
work on their own. The crispiness on the outside, the soft, chewy,
marshmallowyness on the inside makes a perfect textural fry. But
it's not just about texture. It's also about flavor. The
(21:43):
fry itself calls out for sweetness. There's a reason we
dip French fries in catchup Fries need that sweetness. There's
a reason that we dip French fries in milkshakes. Sweet
potato fries do that by themselves. So from a nutritional, textural,
and flavoral standpoint, sweet potato fries come out of head order.
(22:06):
In the court of Schwartz, I was doing the summary.
I needed to to wrap it up coming in like
a prosecutor for sure, dropping a lot of knowledge and
in such an eleguent way to let's be let's just
be honest about this sweet potato fries being the outlier
that they are quoting Bruce Lee and not just like
the most basic Bruce Lee quote like digging deep to
(22:27):
find a quote. Will this be an argument of nutrition
versus nostalgia sweet potatoes being nutritious, and then finally getting
to what is an important part of this flavor sweet
potato fries bringing obviously sweetness to the game, and also
dropping the word marsh mellowyness, one of my favorites, sort
of evoking the spirit of the holidays, even of sweet
(22:49):
potatoes and marshmallows, which is a disgusting dish, just to
get that out. Oh no, yeah, never fair enough, fair enough, okay,
all right, Karama, that was well stated. She went the
full three minutes, many men, facts for your three minutes
to talk about why our standard fry is best. Starts now?
Who am I I am but a humble French fry enthusiast.
(23:09):
The average American eats almost thirty pounds of fries in
a year, but I am far from average, I can
comfortably say that I probably eat upwards of fifty pounds
of fries annually. In college, I ate fries three times
a day, seven days a week, for four straight years.
I went back from my five year reunion, and the
people from the campus eateries and nearby diners warmly embraced
(23:31):
me and cheered my return. I don't say this to brag.
I don't want to say this at all in case
my mother or my doctor is listening. But I have
to say this to illustrate a truth. I know fries.
I live and breathe fries, and never once have I,
a red blooded American woman, intentionally eaten a sweet potato fry.
(23:51):
Why you may ask, well, because, like so many people
in this nation and across the globe, I crave the
excitement and variety that only a real fry can give you.
Waffle fries, steak fries, shoe string fries, garlic fries, potato wedges,
season fries, chili cheese fries, poutine. A sweet potato fry
(24:12):
could never our own Judge's favorite variety of fry, the
curly fry, is nigh impossible with anything other than a
good old fashioned potato sweet potato fries are the is
pepsi okay of the fry world? And I say no,
Pepsi is not okay, and neither is anything other than
(24:33):
a French fry. Fries are reliable, They are dependable, They
are consistent, and I hate to say it, but in
these uncertain times, isn't that what we want more than
anything else? Consistency? I mean, I could get bagged down
with facts like how registered dietitian Alyssa Rumsey confirmed an
immense health article that standard fries are higher in nutrients
like iron, potassium, protein, and vitamin C than alternatives that
(24:55):
shall not be named. But who wants to do that?
I come from a performance background and I would like
to stay this simply. French fries are the character actors
of the fried tuber world. They are less concerned with
popularity and stardom than they are with contributing to build
something great. They are artists first, an entertainers second. They
are the cc H Pounders, Margot Martindale's, Stanley Tucci's and
(25:16):
Forest Whittakers that hold the world of fried starches to
a higher standard. They aren't trendy or hip. They're reliable
and timeless and who doesn't like Stanley Tucci or cc
H Pounder. Thank you, chef. I rest my case. Wow,
I said what I said. I said all I needed
to say, presenting yourself and understandably now I get it, Karama,
(25:37):
you are an expert on French fries. This you have
presented yourself now as truly I think the first expert
on a case that's been in this courts three times
a day. That's a that's a lot of French fries.
You know your fries, and really breaking this down to
the consistency of fries, which I think was alluding to
the texture of the fry as well, which is a
big part of this. Is it sort of can you
(25:59):
get us we potato fry crunchy, I don't know, but
our standard regular fries they can get nice and crispy.
Forest Whittaker, I love it. I was thinking John c
Riley the whole time. Oh, John c Riley is also
one of the French fries of the actor world. I
would say she's a sweet potato fry. He's always been
a sweet potato fry. John c Riley, please let us
know whether you identify as a sweet potato fry or
(26:22):
a regular French fry, or anywhere in between on the spectrum.
So we are at the end of of round one.
I have to say again just to reboot and recap
for everyone that's listening. You've listened to other episodes, but
this is not based off of my own personal opinions.
This decision will be made based off of the arguments
that are presented in this court. We are ready for
the rebuttals, Dana. You'll have two minutes on the clock
(26:46):
to really let Karamino why she's absolutely wrong when it
comes to our standard basic fry. You ready to go?
All right, Danna, your two minutes starts now, Miss Dunk,
what your point was eloquently made. It's clear that you
do have a performance background, but there's a reason that
you had to resort to personal anecdote and listing character
actors and still ended your argument thirty second short. You
(27:09):
simply do not have the facts of the case in
your favor. You got facts continually wrong throughout your argument.
Sweet potato fries absolutely can be exploded into a variety
of culinary options sweet potato, curly fried sweet potatoes, shoe
string fries. There absolutely are a variety I say it's
it's not lack of potential, it's lack of imagination. And
(27:32):
your argument resorting back to the comfort and reliability of
the regular fry just makes it absolutely clear that the
limitations of sweet potato fries are based only in that
small minded thinking that you and so many people of
our nation share. The sweet potato fry has boundless potential,
(27:53):
and as a dish on its own without a nostalgia
or or or various experimentation varieties attached, the sweet potato
is a fundamentally more tasty dish. The sweet and the
salty is an eternal combination for a reason. It just works.
So embrace the difference. I would argue that the regular
(28:17):
potato fry is the boring standard, a list celebrity. The
sweet potato fry is the different, interesting, talented character actors
who have been slaving for years without recognition. So finally,
embrace what's different. Embrace the truth. Embrace the sweet potato fry.
(28:37):
It is getting I'm not it's not getting heated. Just
the the arguments are becoming incre incredibly passionate. Right now,
all right, Karama, you'll have two minutes to let Dana
know why she's wrong and why what did she say?
Leonardo DiCaprio is basically a regular fry, That's what she's saying.
I love Leo, But I could argue that Leonardo DiCaprio
straddles the line between character actor and a list You
(29:01):
could argue that I would say it's more of like
a like a Jennifer Laurence Laura Dern situation. I love
Laura Dern. First of all, the graphics for this episode
are going to be amazing, Crystal, because now we have
all these fry shapes and we have to find out
what all these celebrities think about these fries. All right, Karama,
two minutes for your rebuttal. Your time starts now. Ms Schwartz,
(29:23):
as my opposing counsel, I just want to say I
respect your position, I respect your passion and your zeal.
You mentioned that sweet potato fries offer a necessary sweetness
to the fry that we get from dipping it in
catch up. I think that that is, of course, assuming
a lot about our listeners and people across the nation
and how they eat their fries. There are a lot
(29:44):
of different ways to eat fries. Many people across Europe
don't alienate or European listeners love to have mayonnaise with
their fries, or catch up and mayonnaise, and I think
that the standard, the beloved original I has more earthy
and versatile flavor profile that allows it to be mixed
(30:06):
with a wide variety of possible pairings, so things like
ali and things like barbecue sauce. I also resent the
accusation that I have my facts incorrect. I did cite
my sources, and I would like to also mention that
sweet potato fries are often held up as a paragon
of health, but ounce for ounce, calorie for calorie, it
(30:26):
seems that overall experts cannot come to a consensus as
to whether sweet potato fries are actually healthier. I know
that you didn't mention that, but I think that I
need to, so I would also like to say, just
on a personal note, you yourself wrote about fries in
your debut novel And We're Off. You did not once
mention sweet potato fries, and you have two instances where
(30:47):
you talk about two separate types of fries page nine
nine of your book. I'm sure you're rumber writing it.
You talk about McDonald's fries initially and then Street fries
in Belgium, the home of French fries, where I don't
think they have a lot of sweet potato frise lying around.
They know what's good and they know how to give
it to you. Lastly, I would like to say that
French fries are street food, the food of the people,
widely available to the masses, while sweet potato fries are
(31:09):
primarily found and sit down restaurants. If you believe in
class solidarity among the poltaria, you must pick the French
fry over its more pretentious cousin, the sweet potato fry.
You have never had anyone site their opponents work in
this court before, mainly because we haven't had too many authors, probably,
But you are also incorrectly cited it because my character
(31:32):
hated Belgium. She hated Belgium, but she didn't hate the fries. Karama.
By and by in evoking Belgium, I believe you are
also saying that you agree with the atrocities that Belgium
committed in the Congo. Is that what my opposing counsel
is saying in the courts order I am an anti colonialist?
(31:54):
Is a case about potatoes ladies? Wow? Okay, I will
say this once again, back and forth. What side am
I on? I'm not sure I have my opinions? Is
a chef? But have I been swayed? This is the
moment of our session where I will retire to my
chambers and I will return with my verdict. But before that,
a quick break. I just want to say, in a
(32:25):
real court, the prosecution then gets a one minute double
about all at the end too, because they have the
burden of proof. I just want to say that you're
a whiny little baby of the cross talk. I am
back the case of sweet potato fries versus regular standard
French fries. Before I deliver my verdict, you'll each have
(32:45):
one minute to express some final thoughts. Dana. I don't
know what type of court you thought this was, but
this is legitimate. Of course, you're going to have your
last words, Dana, anything you'd like to say to perhaps
change or or alter my decision here. You know, as
as I alluded to my opponent, Miss don Qua, she
cited my novel in which the protagonist dislikes her experience
(33:08):
in Belgium. And also, I would like to point out
that the Belgians were incredibly dumb when it came to
French Fries. They were soldiers during World War Two who
thought they were in France when in fact they were
in the region of Flanders, which is not France at all.
Just because their fellow soldiers happened to be speaking France,
they thought that they were in France, completely incorrect. French
(33:29):
Fries are based on a lie, and we've continued on
that lie ever since. By switching up the dialogue, that's
the system that will reward sweet potato Fries for all
the good they do on their own. Dana and passioned
once again, going over. I've never had to gabble someone
as much as Dana in the court before Crystal, we'll
have to note this. You have a last moment here
(33:51):
to express your final thoughts on the matter. Go ahead.
I would like to say that some cases are one
in the court of public opinion, some cases are one
in judges chambers, and I implore you to think about
this case being one in the court of your mouth.
What do you want to eat? What do you crave
In the middle of the night, when you're at home,
(34:13):
you're thinking about all the good times, You're wondering what
you're gonna do with the rest of your life. You
don't crave a sweet potato fry. You crave a French fry.
You want a French fry. You love a French fry,
and don't deny that about yourself. Stick to your roots,
know where you come from. Okay, I thought this wasn't
about your personal preference. It could be. I cannot wait
(34:36):
to the next episode of Popcorn Book Club. By the way,
I'm sure this is going to carry over. This is
definitely going to leak and drip into one of your
future episodes. For sure. We do have an impassioned debate
about mac and cheese on which Dana and I are
on opposing sides, not surprising after surprising at all. Okay,
here we go. I have come up with a decision,
(34:58):
my final verdict in the case of sweet potato fries
versus regular fries. Dana had some amazing notes here. I mean,
it's about nutrition. The sweet potato perhaps one of the
most nutritious foods in the whole world, quoting Bruce Lee,
and sweet potatoes are sweet. They deliver a flavor that
the regular potato does not deliver. Karama letting us know
(35:20):
she is an expert and that it's about consistency, and
that perhaps regular fries are character actors. They play well
with everyone else, including all sorts of condiments and dishes globally.
They can be made into very many different shapes, Dana saying, no,
sweet potatoes can be made into different shapes as well.
It's a lack of imagination. I thought long and hard
(35:40):
about this, and my decision is based off of surprisingly
one of engineering. Well, some things are classic and traditional
for a reason. Karama, you win. It is our standard
French fry. It is a can appeal, but the judge
(36:02):
has ruled you can appeal, but don't leave the peels
on sweet potato fries because they burn frequently when you
do so. And that is why my decision was made.
It's one of engineering. The sweet potato harder to make
into all of those amazing shapes. Can you make a
curly fry out of it? Sure, but not without a
lot of waste. I do enjoy a sweet potato, and
as someone who has lost a lot of weight in
my life, it is an incredibly nutritious food. You'll find
(36:24):
me snacking on one probably later today. But in food
court the winner is Karama. What do you have to
say about your victory there. I feel like justice was
served today. I feel like this was a victory not
just for me, but for all French fry lovers and enthusiasts.
And here's the thing. My original argument was not that
we should, as many people, including myself personally think, get
(36:45):
rid of the sweet potato fry. It's just that it's
not the top of the heap. Dana is upset. Listen, everyone,
thank you so much for joining me on food Court.
You can find Dana Schwartz talking about books that have
been adapted into movies and TV shows on Popcorn Book
Ub and on the podcast Noble Blood, where she explores
the stories behind histories most fascinating royals. Check her out
(37:06):
on Twitter at Dana Schwartz with three zs. Karama is
a co host on Popcorn Book Club and you can
find her on Twitter and Instagram at Karama Drama. Listen, everyone,
what do you think? Did I get this one wrong?
I know a lot of you think that I probably did.
What's your favorite French fry or French fry shape? Let
me know on Twitter and Instagram at Richard Blaze, or
(37:27):
even maybe now on the TikTok at Richard Blaze Official
food Court is a production of I Heart Radio. I'm
Richard Blaze. My producer is Crystal Bamahi. Food Court was
created by our executive producer, Christopher hassiotis the rest of
my food court clerks are Gabrielle Collins, David Wasserman and Jasmine.
Blaze are Amazing theme songs by Jason Nie Smith. For
more podcasts from I Heart Radio, visit the I heart
(37:47):
Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your
favorite shows with
Creamy Lunch, Creamy Crunchynch food Court, food Court, food Court
with St. Blaze Argue in the food Court Court with
Blase Food. Welcome to food Court, a production of I
(00:35):
Heart Radio. I'm Richard Blaze and this is my courtroom.
Welcome everyone. I'm the host and the judge, so you
can think of me as a multi hyphen it in
case any casting directors are listening, which I hope they
are joining us in the court today. We have two
women who are already friends and who co host the
new podcast Popcorn book Club that covers books that were
(00:56):
recently made into movies and TV shows. First, we have
an author who, in addition to the aforementioned Popcorn Book Club,
also hosts the incredible podcast Noble Blood. It's Dana Schwartz. Hi,
thank you for having me. So happy to have you
and going up against Dana. We have actor, writer and
sit down comedian. It's Karama don Qua. Thank you so
(01:21):
much for having me. Sorry to have to wait for
the air horn that I put in there. Oh it's fine.
I didn't respect the airhorn. I would just like to
say the folly word is incredible. Please factor my praise
into into your final decision. Listen, it has been known
to perhaps sway this judge, but I will get this
right off the bat. This has not happened in an
episode before. But I am prepared with a handheld copy
(01:43):
of the U. S. Constitution for this episode. That's how
serious this is. That's so funny because I also have
a handheld copy of the U. S. Constitution with me.
This is just how we were. Yeah, this is how
it is these days. Now Listen. I love that you
two just started co hosting a show together there, but
that you've brought a case into our court right here
in the middle of what is definitely a honeymoon phase
(02:05):
for you both. Correct. Yes, but we've actually been friends
for almost a decade. So while we are new to
the world as friends, we are old friends to each other. Ah,
there you go. I thought that that was just the
really great acting and writing, the chemistry so good on
your podcast. Okay, now listen, you've brought a tale of
two fries to the food court. But before we get
(02:26):
into that, let's get to know each other a little
bit better. Dana, where are you from and what are
some of your favorite food memories from your childhood? Oh?
I am from the suburbs of Chicago, and some of
my favorite food memories are baking Halla with my mom
and my two sisters for Chabat and for the Jewish holidays.
(02:47):
Just you know, we didn't really bake bread a lot
but or ever except Halla, which, like the smell of
baking bread is like the most amazing thing. And when
I got older, for my birthdays, I would bake my
own cake, which is always a fun thing to do,
and I would get progressively more ambitious. I like that, Wow,
baking your own cake sounds like a punishment, actually know
the opposite. It was the only time of the year
(03:08):
where my mom would let me make a real mess
in the kitchen. It was my birthday, so I was
allowed to do whatever I wanted. I have to listen,
I have to jump right in here. We had an
episode with my kids recently, and they've started cooking a
lot more during quarantine, and I just my chef instincts
like override my dad instincts, and I'm like, I'm just
like horrible in the kitchen with cleaning up everything they do.
(03:29):
I'm like, you have to wipe, you have to clean
that up right away. It has to happen and it's
not good. I should let them be messy, I guess,
is what I'm saying. Or you could teach them early
on how to how to have good instincts because I
never learned it and I'm terrible at cleaning up. Oh wow,
I like that, spinning it in my favor. That could
help you later in today's episode. Also, Dana, real quick,
are you making? Are you baking any bread during quarantine?
Because this seems to be something people are doing. No
(03:51):
I have. I have absolutely not jumped on like the
sour dough train. I have a small studio apartment and
it is a it is takeout city. Baby. There you go,
There you go, helping out the restaurant industry exactly. I'm
so I'm a good Samaritan. What can I say? There
you go? Karama? What about you? Where are you from
and what were your favorite foods growing up? Well? I
am from Los Angeles, California, originally born and mostly raised,
(04:14):
and I my favorite foods growing up while French fries
were a big one, so that is subject near and
dear to my heart, but I also really liked ice
cream sandwiches. My mom used to get these things called
to foodie Cuti's from the grocery store. I think she
got them from Trader Joe's. And they were these like
non dairy ice cream sandwiches that I used to inhale,
(04:37):
and she actually tried to stop me from inhaling them
by hiding the She told me that they were done,
and I was little, so I couldn't reach the freezer myself,
so I insisted that she showed me the empty box
before I would believe that she had in fact exhausted
all of our TOFOOTI cutie resources. You should be the judge.
(04:58):
You need proof, you need proof and evidence. I like.
I like the evidence. Now, this Trader Joe's comes up
a lot on our podcast, especially recently. Now that was
a childhood favorite Trader Joe's item. What are some things
that you're obsessed with nowadays? I love crunchy cookie butter.
That's a big one for me, and specifically the crunchy one.
(05:18):
I don't eat any other butter spreads. I don't need
any nut butters. I do eat butter, obviously, but I
love cookie butter because I finally get why people enjoy
peanut butter, because you can just put it on stuff
and then eat it. It's amazing you show no peanut
butter for you, no, no allergy. No. A lot of
people ask that. I just don't like it. I think
it's gross. I'm I'm alienating people already. That's all right.
(05:43):
I'm surprised we have not actually had a some sort
of peanut butter and jelly debate here, Crystal, this is
our guests are so smart. I'm not, but it just
hit the peanut butter and jelly would be a good episode.
That's a free before you. Yeah, all right, here we go.
Now listen producer Crystal. She did some internet digging, which means,
you know, she's spent forty five seconds last night. Uh,
and she seems to have found that you both went
(06:04):
to college in Rhode Island. That's right, correct, Yes, Yes,
pretty prestigious school, to say the least. Correct. Yes, Now,
was spending some time on Rhode Island? Was it a
seafood awakening for you? Not in college? I felt like
it was. It was a college cafeteria awakening for me.
It was. It was a coffee milk awakening for me personally.
(06:25):
I love coffee milk. I just want to do a
shout out to all of the lovers of autocratic coffee
syrup listening and also Dell's frozen la Oh you took Dell's.
I was going to shout out of Dells. That's my
favorite Rhode Island. Rhode Island beverage. I know the lemonade.
So I have not explained the lemonade to me. It's
exactly what it sounds like. It is frozen lemonade. On
(06:45):
a hot day, you get a little cup of like
lemonade ice slushy. Okay, so it's a it's an Italian
ice of sorts. Just you and you beat me to it.
Karama with the milk coffee, am I saying it is
a coffee milk? No, it's coffee milk, the state drink
of Rhode Island. Now I've been once or twice, but
let's explain what this is to everyone. Absolutely. So, coffee
(07:09):
milk is a lot like chocolate milk or strawberry milk,
where you know how you get like nest quick syrup
and you put it in the milk and you mix
it all together, except you get a coffee syrup. And
so it's just a flavoring that you do that I
believe has no actual caffeine in it, so it's great
for kids, and you stir it in and you drink
it up. And in our cafeterias in college, they actually
(07:31):
used to have a coffee milk dispenser in addition to
a regular milk and chocolate milk one. I never got
that at the v DUB. I never I never had.
I never had cafeteria coffee milk, but I had the
pre made syrup there. You I was gonna play. You
said there's no caffeine in it, and I was like, well,
maybe that's like with all the New England road rage,
(07:52):
Like that's what it was like. Their kids are drinking.
There's trice kids on tricycles drinking coffee milk and getting
all jacked up and fired up Nazi. The other thing
is squid salad. That's a very big Rhode Island thing. No,
never never heard of that. All right, I'm digging into
the I'm going chef level on everyone here, but like
I guess like it's it's it's a cold calamari salad,
(08:13):
but another very sort of iconic dish of Rhode Island.
Enough about Rhode Island, although who knows it might come
up in the debate today. Dana, please tell us about
the case you've brought into the food court today in
a sentence or so, you know, I have brought a
challenging case to to the judge. I sort of see
myself as the Clarence Darrow of food. I'm going up
against a system that is stacked against me, frankly, but
(08:37):
I am am fighting for sweet potato fries. I think
on the merit of sweet potato fries alone, I'll be
able to make my case and prove that they are
superior to the ordinary fries that we have become so
accustomed to that they're standard. But I don't think we can.
We don't we have to sell for standard. Dana. I
know you're an amazing writer. One sentence was the request.
(08:58):
There you're already throwing shade calling them ordinary fries, Karama,
I bet you think that they're not ordinary fries. Correct,
That is correct, and well. I think sweet potato fries
do have a place in the culinary world. Not saying
we should abolish sweet potato fries. It is not. As
the leader of the fry pack, French fries made with
potatoes should hold that distinction. Thank you, chef Wow basically
(09:23):
saying that sweet potatoes aren't even potatoes. We're gonna get
into it, but listen, here's a question for both of
you before we start the heated arguments. Heated to I
don't know, maybe three hundred and ninety five degrees fahrenheit
and some sizzling oil before we get into that argument,
to either of you think there's such a thing as
a bad French fry, though seriously, absolutely I have had
several bad French fries. The worst French fry is a
(09:46):
I'll say it like a merely steak fry, A room temperature,
merely steak fry. Wow, Karama. No one can see us,
but I can see you. You You disagree with that. I
love steak fries, and I feel like they are unfairly
maligned in society, and I think that I've very rarely
met a fry that I didn't like. Perhaps a cold
fry is the worst fry. I will say, I don't
(10:06):
like in and out fries, which is controversial as I
am Californian and also alive in the world. Having this conversation,
respect for realizing that in and out does a lot
of things great. Maybe fries is not one of them
steak fries. Taking shots fired over steak fries. You probably
don't know about. Our pilot episode was a crazy one.
It was crispy fries versus soggy fries. I'm familiar. Insane. Yeah,
(10:32):
I listened to that one, truly insane. Agreed that was
That was a tough one. I don't remember what my
decision was on that. By the way, So you ruled
in favor of crispy fries. You said you did like
a soggy fry, but overall you'd rather have crispy fries.
It's about the majority of fries. That's a summary. Well,
thank you for reminding me of a past verdict. What's
(10:53):
I think? Maybe it's steak fries. Then what's the worst
shape of french fry? I'm gonna go steak fry. I
think just the it can be great steak fry, but
maybe just people don't don't prepare them right, and they
can they can get really merely you don't get the
right textural balance that you wanted to fry. Textual balance,
culinary where it's being thrown around. Karama at least favorite
fry shape. I like all fries. I really genuinely like
(11:15):
all fried shapes. I don't like tater tots. I think
that tater tots should not be a part of the
fry conversation, and they so often are, and I they're
They're like little deep fried potato maggots, and I don't
like that. Wow, Okay, listen, have you ever had a
smiley face fry karama? I have? Yes, Actually, I retract
my previous statement, and I do not like smiley face.
(11:38):
All right, fair enough, but listen, before we get into
our actual arguments here in my court, I like to
have a quick trivia around before we get into the debate.
The winner of the trivia around gets to decide the
order that you present your arguments. But also, trivia is fun,
so let's get into it, shall we. Yeah? Okay, so
you've both found Curated created some sort of buzzer for
our contest today. Dana is your buzzer for the day.
(12:02):
I will be doing a mouth buzz. A mouth buzz efficient,
low impact, great for the environment. I was gonna say,
it's it's it's not only is it a is it
a mouth buzz? But it's very it's it's a bumble bee. Yeah,
it's it's it's adorable. It's yeah, you need bees. I
like this. Okay, Karama, your your sound effect will be
a classic food court sound. The swing is it a
(12:26):
boing or a sprawing? I think it's a I think
it's a brewing. I think it's both the s and
the bee. I love it. It It is a buzz versus
the sprawling. Here we go. It is time to get
into our trivia. Question one. Who was the first author
to pen French fries in literature? Hint? I played a
(12:46):
character in fifth grade from one of his his creations.
That character was named Bob Cratchett. Okay, that is Dana
Charles Dickens. Charles Dickens. Dana, aware of my perform is
from my fifth grade production of a Christmas No that
would be a Christmas Carol. Christmas Carol, Thank you. I
was a big fan of was in the audience. Brought
(13:08):
me to tears. Thank you so much. All right. That
means Dana, you're up one zero. Luckily there's two more
questions left, Karama, and get back in it. Dana listened.
The strategy with the mouth buzzer is pretty good because
you can just make that sound real quick. Karama. You
can't see her. But she's got, she's hurt, she's ready
to go, she's ready to buzz in. Alright, question to
what country opened the first French fry museum, I'm gonna
(13:32):
guess Belgium, Karama. That is a good guess and an
accurate one. It is Belgium. Yes, my reality show judging
paying off there as I threw you a little quick distraction,
you thought you didn't get it right, my heart, it
really did skip a beat. By the way, now though,
what are your thoughts? Quicksidebar, Sorry to do this, Crystal
for your editing, but we can just create museums out
(13:53):
of anything. Now, have you been to the ice cream Museum?
Have you been? Yeah? I have, and I read about
the recent controversy with ice cream museum. There was an
article I can't remember what outlet it was in, but
it was called ice Cream you scream meltdown at the
Museum of ice Cream. That's a great headline. I will say.
As a narcissist, I like any quote unquote museum where
(14:14):
the point is taking pictures of yourself. But I don't
think you can call them museums facts like I I
love a museum and I love a Instagram experience, but
there are different things. Don't call it a museum. Yeah.
Here was my gripe with the Museum of ice Cream
in particular because I went to that one and then
was vowed never to go to another museum that was
(14:34):
an Instagram sensation. I felt like I didn't learn about
the history of ice cream. And there were art installations there,
but I didn't learn about any of the artists who
created the art installations. So for me it was twofold.
I learned neither about ice cream nor about the representations
of ice cream that were present in the space, and
as an artist, that hurt me. I remember once going
(14:58):
to like the Museum of Sex in Amsterdam and we
were like, you know, young and being like, oh, that'll
be fun, and I was so dismayed to find I'm
a history buff, you know, I do noble blood, I
have a a semi basic timeline of history, and like
so much of their information was inaccurate that that was
not the point of the museum. I guess it was
(15:19):
just for American tourists to show up and be like,
I'm at the Museum of Sex. But it broke my
heart that the museum was was a historical. I made me.
It made me lose faith in the in the in
the phrase museum of full of lies. But my response
to both of you, and I hate to be basic,
but Karama, did you jump in a pool of sprinkles?
(15:40):
You did? And that means something so freaking loot. And
now I have to change to I've been marketing some
of my live appearances as the Museum of Molecular Gastronomy.
It's just an event that I cater but it seems
to work. Smart smart marketing. Okay, here we go. Question
three tied one one. Question three will determine who gets
to the decision whether to present first. Question three, what
(16:02):
is the name of Van Gogh's masterpiece that features a
scene of ugly peasants enjoying a hearty meal? Oh, Dana knows.
It's on the tip of her tongue. Perhaps I've been
to the museums then my Amsterdam experience. Did you take
a much there? Okay, Dana with the bumblebee buzz the
(16:25):
potato eaters, Dana crushing the game or should I say
mashing the potato eaters? Great answer, and I respect that.
I respect that art knowledge and I just did not
know I was never going to get that, and I
seed to your superior van go knowledge. You know where
I learned that? A museum, A real museum, A real museum. Listen,
(16:50):
but I'm going to open up the potato Museum and
it's just gonna be five tables where you eat different
types of potatoes. I don't we're at that is a restaurant, Yes,
it's it's called is in this a restaurant? Actually not
the potato eaters, which both of you are, as evidenced
by the case you've brought to our our sweet potatoes
actually potatoes. We might get into that, all right. That
(17:12):
means that Dana, you have won two points to one,
and you get to make the biggest decision in a
food court episode. You get to decide whether you want
to present your case first or second. I will go first.
This has been happening recently, but guests coming on deciding
to present first, which I would say is an outlier.
Usually with this decision, that means you have a lot
(17:33):
to say. That's usually what that means. And I recognize
in a court case, Look, it's it's it's challenging, but
I I think that's the way I want to go,
I see myself as the prosecution here. Wow, there we go.
Big words right there, and before we get into our
actual argument, it's time for a quick break. I was
(17:58):
just gonna say, Richard, that new key maker is making
this so that when all this quarantine is over, you
have to invite me in karama over. Yes, this is
a new request, done deal. I mean, are you kidding me?
Like we're so I mean one, yes, we're friends now,
but like any time, like I'm we're ready, I'm ready
to cook, We're ready to have guests. Oh my gosh,
I'm ready to eat. We are back today. We have
(18:18):
the case of the French fry versus the sweet Potato Fry,
and we're about to get into the arguments. The way
this works is that you'll each have three minutes to
state your case. During the three minutes, you need to
lay out your case and not focus on your opponent
or their case. Use the first three minutes to passionately
make your own case. And I have a feeling that
both of you understand what I'm saying. And I'm saying
(18:40):
that because listen, in all fairness to everyone else has
been on the show, you might be the two smartest
people who have ever been on the show. I'm just
I'm just saying no offense to producer Crystal Laer. Okay,
here we go. I'm talking about myself included. Listen, if
you want to go low and get dirty, which you might,
you will have your rebuttal rounds to just go nuts
on each other and say all the stuff want to say.
Because this is America. Here we go. It's time to
(19:03):
get into this. Dana, You've made the interesting choice to
present first. You're talking about why sweet potato fries are amazing.
Your three minutes starts now. If I might quote Bruce Lee,
all fixed set patterns are incapable of adaptability or pliability.
The truth is outside fixed patterns. The truth is I
(19:26):
understand that typical, boring, ordinary French fries are the standard
you order fries at a restaurant. Simple white potatoes are
what you receive in return. But just because something is
standard doesn't mean it's the best choice. If we simply
continued on doing things as they've always been done, we
would be dying of dysentery at thirty five by the
(19:47):
light of whale oil lamps. So I urge you to
look outside of simple wrote, habit and find something deeper,
the elusive truth of which Bruce Lee spoke, and that
simple truth is just that sweet potato fries on the
whole are superior to regular fries. First, let's look just
from a basic vitamin nutritional standpoint, the fundamental purpose of
(20:12):
which food serves in our society. Sweet potato fries explode
with antioxidant rich vitamin A, and they also contain more
fiber and potassium than they're boring white counterparts. But I
understand what you're thinking. I'm not eating fries to be healthy.
When I'm indulging in fries, I want the maximum enjoyment
(20:33):
of the experience. It's not about vitamins and nutrition. Well,
that's also why sweet potato fries come out ahead. When
you order typical fries at a restaurant, there's a wide
variety that could come with your meal, everything from steak
fries to the tator top of which ms Donka spoke
to smiley faced fries. Chefs continually try to reinvent, reinvigorate
(20:57):
typical fries to make them more exciting and more patible.
The thing about sweet potato fries, you typically know what
you're getting you're getting the platonic ideal of fries, which
are thin, crispy on the outside, soft mushy on the inside.
There's a reason there's so many varieties of French fries.
Typical white potato fries are boring. They need a little
(21:20):
There's a reason when millennials go to restaurants and they
see tater tots on the menu, there's so much excitement.
There's like that that weird fixation that people have with
tater tots. No, sweet potato fries do all of the
work on their own. The crispiness on the outside, the soft, chewy,
marshmallowyness on the inside makes a perfect textural fry. But
it's not just about texture. It's also about flavor. The
(21:43):
fry itself calls out for sweetness. There's a reason we
dip French fries in catchup Fries need that sweetness. There's
a reason that we dip French fries in milkshakes. Sweet
potato fries do that by themselves. So from a nutritional, textural,
and flavoral standpoint, sweet potato fries come out of head order.
(22:06):
In the court of Schwartz, I was doing the summary.
I needed to to wrap it up coming in like
a prosecutor for sure, dropping a lot of knowledge and
in such an eleguent way to let's be let's just
be honest about this sweet potato fries being the outlier
that they are quoting Bruce Lee and not just like
the most basic Bruce Lee quote like digging deep to
(22:27):
find a quote. Will this be an argument of nutrition
versus nostalgia sweet potatoes being nutritious, and then finally getting
to what is an important part of this flavor sweet
potato fries bringing obviously sweetness to the game, and also
dropping the word marsh mellowyness, one of my favorites, sort
of evoking the spirit of the holidays, even of sweet
(22:49):
potatoes and marshmallows, which is a disgusting dish, just to
get that out. Oh no, yeah, never fair enough, fair enough, okay,
all right, Karama, that was well stated. She went the
full three minutes, many men, facts for your three minutes
to talk about why our standard fry is best. Starts now?
Who am I I am but a humble French fry enthusiast.
(23:09):
The average American eats almost thirty pounds of fries in
a year, but I am far from average, I can
comfortably say that I probably eat upwards of fifty pounds
of fries annually. In college, I ate fries three times
a day, seven days a week, for four straight years.
I went back from my five year reunion, and the
people from the campus eateries and nearby diners warmly embraced
(23:31):
me and cheered my return. I don't say this to brag.
I don't want to say this at all in case
my mother or my doctor is listening. But I have
to say this to illustrate a truth. I know fries.
I live and breathe fries, and never once have I,
a red blooded American woman, intentionally eaten a sweet potato fry.
(23:51):
Why you may ask, well, because, like so many people
in this nation and across the globe, I crave the
excitement and variety that only a real fry can give you.
Waffle fries, steak fries, shoe string fries, garlic fries, potato wedges,
season fries, chili cheese fries, poutine. A sweet potato fry
(24:12):
could never our own Judge's favorite variety of fry, the
curly fry, is nigh impossible with anything other than a
good old fashioned potato sweet potato fries are the is
pepsi okay of the fry world? And I say no,
Pepsi is not okay, and neither is anything other than
(24:33):
a French fry. Fries are reliable, They are dependable, They
are consistent, and I hate to say it, but in
these uncertain times, isn't that what we want more than
anything else? Consistency? I mean, I could get bagged down
with facts like how registered dietitian Alyssa Rumsey confirmed an
immense health article that standard fries are higher in nutrients
like iron, potassium, protein, and vitamin C than alternatives that
(24:55):
shall not be named. But who wants to do that?
I come from a performance background and I would like
to stay this simply. French fries are the character actors
of the fried tuber world. They are less concerned with
popularity and stardom than they are with contributing to build
something great. They are artists first, an entertainers second. They
are the cc H Pounders, Margot Martindale's, Stanley Tucci's and
(25:16):
Forest Whittakers that hold the world of fried starches to
a higher standard. They aren't trendy or hip. They're reliable
and timeless and who doesn't like Stanley Tucci or cc
H Pounder. Thank you, chef. I rest my case. Wow,
I said what I said. I said all I needed
to say, presenting yourself and understandably now I get it, Karama,
(25:37):
you are an expert on French fries. This you have
presented yourself now as truly I think the first expert
on a case that's been in this courts three times
a day. That's a that's a lot of French fries.
You know your fries, and really breaking this down to
the consistency of fries, which I think was alluding to
the texture of the fry as well, which is a
big part of this. Is it sort of can you
(25:59):
get us we potato fry crunchy, I don't know, but
our standard regular fries they can get nice and crispy.
Forest Whittaker, I love it. I was thinking John c
Riley the whole time. Oh, John c Riley is also
one of the French fries of the actor world. I
would say she's a sweet potato fry. He's always been
a sweet potato fry. John c Riley, please let us
know whether you identify as a sweet potato fry or
(26:22):
a regular French fry, or anywhere in between on the spectrum.
So we are at the end of of round one.
I have to say again just to reboot and recap
for everyone that's listening. You've listened to other episodes, but
this is not based off of my own personal opinions.
This decision will be made based off of the arguments
that are presented in this court. We are ready for
the rebuttals, Dana. You'll have two minutes on the clock
(26:46):
to really let Karamino why she's absolutely wrong when it
comes to our standard basic fry. You ready to go?
All right, Danna, your two minutes starts now, Miss Dunk,
what your point was eloquently made. It's clear that you
do have a performance background, but there's a reason that
you had to resort to personal anecdote and listing character
actors and still ended your argument thirty second short. You
(27:09):
simply do not have the facts of the case in
your favor. You got facts continually wrong throughout your argument.
Sweet potato fries absolutely can be exploded into a variety
of culinary options sweet potato, curly fried sweet potatoes, shoe
string fries. There absolutely are a variety I say it's
it's not lack of potential, it's lack of imagination. And
(27:32):
your argument resorting back to the comfort and reliability of
the regular fry just makes it absolutely clear that the
limitations of sweet potato fries are based only in that
small minded thinking that you and so many people of
our nation share. The sweet potato fry has boundless potential,
(27:53):
and as a dish on its own without a nostalgia
or or or various experimentation varieties attached, the sweet potato
is a fundamentally more tasty dish. The sweet and the
salty is an eternal combination for a reason. It just works.
So embrace the difference. I would argue that the regular
(28:17):
potato fry is the boring standard, a list celebrity. The
sweet potato fry is the different, interesting, talented character actors
who have been slaving for years without recognition. So finally,
embrace what's different. Embrace the truth. Embrace the sweet potato fry.
(28:37):
It is getting I'm not it's not getting heated. Just
the the arguments are becoming incre incredibly passionate. Right now,
all right, Karama, you'll have two minutes to let Dana
know why she's wrong and why what did she say?
Leonardo DiCaprio is basically a regular fry, That's what she's saying.
I love Leo, But I could argue that Leonardo DiCaprio
straddles the line between character actor and a list You
(29:01):
could argue that I would say it's more of like
a like a Jennifer Laurence Laura Dern situation. I love
Laura Dern. First of all, the graphics for this episode
are going to be amazing, Crystal, because now we have
all these fry shapes and we have to find out
what all these celebrities think about these fries. All right, Karama,
two minutes for your rebuttal. Your time starts now. Ms Schwartz,
(29:23):
as my opposing counsel, I just want to say I
respect your position, I respect your passion and your zeal.
You mentioned that sweet potato fries offer a necessary sweetness
to the fry that we get from dipping it in
catch up. I think that that is, of course, assuming
a lot about our listeners and people across the nation
and how they eat their fries. There are a lot
(29:44):
of different ways to eat fries. Many people across Europe
don't alienate or European listeners love to have mayonnaise with
their fries, or catch up and mayonnaise, and I think
that the standard, the beloved original I has more earthy
and versatile flavor profile that allows it to be mixed
(30:06):
with a wide variety of possible pairings, so things like
ali and things like barbecue sauce. I also resent the
accusation that I have my facts incorrect. I did cite
my sources, and I would like to also mention that
sweet potato fries are often held up as a paragon
of health, but ounce for ounce, calorie for calorie, it
(30:26):
seems that overall experts cannot come to a consensus as
to whether sweet potato fries are actually healthier. I know
that you didn't mention that, but I think that I
need to, so I would also like to say, just
on a personal note, you yourself wrote about fries in
your debut novel And We're Off. You did not once
mention sweet potato fries, and you have two instances where
(30:47):
you talk about two separate types of fries page nine
nine of your book. I'm sure you're rumber writing it.
You talk about McDonald's fries initially and then Street fries
in Belgium, the home of French fries, where I don't
think they have a lot of sweet potato frise lying around.
They know what's good and they know how to give
it to you. Lastly, I would like to say that
French fries are street food, the food of the people,
widely available to the masses, while sweet potato fries are
(31:09):
primarily found and sit down restaurants. If you believe in
class solidarity among the poltaria, you must pick the French
fry over its more pretentious cousin, the sweet potato fry.
You have never had anyone site their opponents work in
this court before, mainly because we haven't had too many authors, probably,
But you are also incorrectly cited it because my character
(31:32):
hated Belgium. She hated Belgium, but she didn't hate the fries. Karama.
By and by in evoking Belgium, I believe you are
also saying that you agree with the atrocities that Belgium
committed in the Congo. Is that what my opposing counsel
is saying in the courts order I am an anti colonialist?
(31:54):
Is a case about potatoes ladies? Wow? Okay, I will
say this once again, back and forth. What side am
I on? I'm not sure I have my opinions? Is
a chef? But have I been swayed? This is the
moment of our session where I will retire to my
chambers and I will return with my verdict. But before that,
a quick break. I just want to say, in a
(32:25):
real court, the prosecution then gets a one minute double
about all at the end too, because they have the
burden of proof. I just want to say that you're
a whiny little baby of the cross talk. I am
back the case of sweet potato fries versus regular standard
French fries. Before I deliver my verdict, you'll each have
(32:45):
one minute to express some final thoughts. Dana. I don't
know what type of court you thought this was, but
this is legitimate. Of course, you're going to have your
last words, Dana, anything you'd like to say to perhaps
change or or alter my decision here. You know, as
as I alluded to my opponent, Miss don Qua, she
cited my novel in which the protagonist dislikes her experience
(33:08):
in Belgium. And also, I would like to point out
that the Belgians were incredibly dumb when it came to
French Fries. They were soldiers during World War Two who
thought they were in France when in fact they were
in the region of Flanders, which is not France at all.
Just because their fellow soldiers happened to be speaking France,
they thought that they were in France, completely incorrect. French
(33:29):
Fries are based on a lie, and we've continued on
that lie ever since. By switching up the dialogue, that's
the system that will reward sweet potato Fries for all
the good they do on their own. Dana and passioned
once again, going over. I've never had to gabble someone
as much as Dana in the court before Crystal, we'll
have to note this. You have a last moment here
(33:51):
to express your final thoughts on the matter. Go ahead.
I would like to say that some cases are one
in the court of public opinion, some cases are one
in judges chambers, and I implore you to think about
this case being one in the court of your mouth.
What do you want to eat? What do you crave
In the middle of the night, when you're at home,
(34:13):
you're thinking about all the good times, You're wondering what
you're gonna do with the rest of your life. You
don't crave a sweet potato fry. You crave a French fry.
You want a French fry. You love a French fry,
and don't deny that about yourself. Stick to your roots,
know where you come from. Okay, I thought this wasn't
about your personal preference. It could be. I cannot wait
(34:36):
to the next episode of Popcorn Book Club. By the way,
I'm sure this is going to carry over. This is
definitely going to leak and drip into one of your
future episodes. For sure. We do have an impassioned debate
about mac and cheese on which Dana and I are
on opposing sides, not surprising after surprising at all. Okay,
here we go. I have come up with a decision,
(34:58):
my final verdict in the case of sweet potato fries
versus regular fries. Dana had some amazing notes here. I mean,
it's about nutrition. The sweet potato perhaps one of the
most nutritious foods in the whole world, quoting Bruce Lee,
and sweet potatoes are sweet. They deliver a flavor that
the regular potato does not deliver. Karama letting us know
(35:20):
she is an expert and that it's about consistency, and
that perhaps regular fries are character actors. They play well
with everyone else, including all sorts of condiments and dishes globally.
They can be made into very many different shapes, Dana saying, no,
sweet potatoes can be made into different shapes as well.
It's a lack of imagination. I thought long and hard
(35:40):
about this, and my decision is based off of surprisingly
one of engineering. Well, some things are classic and traditional
for a reason. Karama, you win. It is our standard
French fry. It is a can appeal, but the judge
(36:02):
has ruled you can appeal, but don't leave the peels
on sweet potato fries because they burn frequently when you
do so. And that is why my decision was made.
It's one of engineering. The sweet potato harder to make
into all of those amazing shapes. Can you make a
curly fry out of it? Sure, but not without a
lot of waste. I do enjoy a sweet potato, and
as someone who has lost a lot of weight in
my life, it is an incredibly nutritious food. You'll find
(36:24):
me snacking on one probably later today. But in food
court the winner is Karama. What do you have to
say about your victory there. I feel like justice was
served today. I feel like this was a victory not
just for me, but for all French fry lovers and enthusiasts.
And here's the thing. My original argument was not that
we should, as many people, including myself personally think, get
(36:45):
rid of the sweet potato fry. It's just that it's
not the top of the heap. Dana is upset. Listen, everyone,
thank you so much for joining me on food Court.
You can find Dana Schwartz talking about books that have
been adapted into movies and TV shows on Popcorn Book
Ub and on the podcast Noble Blood, where she explores
the stories behind histories most fascinating royals. Check her out
(37:06):
on Twitter at Dana Schwartz with three zs. Karama is
a co host on Popcorn Book Club and you can
find her on Twitter and Instagram at Karama Drama. Listen, everyone,
what do you think? Did I get this one wrong?
I know a lot of you think that I probably did.
What's your favorite French fry or French fry shape? Let
me know on Twitter and Instagram at Richard Blaze, or
(37:27):
even maybe now on the TikTok at Richard Blaze Official
food Court is a production of I Heart Radio. I'm
Richard Blaze. My producer is Crystal Bamahi. Food Court was
created by our executive producer, Christopher hassiotis the rest of
my food court clerks are Gabrielle Collins, David Wasserman and Jasmine.
Blaze are Amazing theme songs by Jason Nie Smith. For
more podcasts from I Heart Radio, visit the I heart
(37:47):
Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your
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