Good Moms Grow Up

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Once upon a time there was a good old traditional housewife.

Speaker 2 (00:03):
She couldn't.

Speaker 1 (00:04):
She cleaned and cared for her children and the man
of the house, and of course she didn't talk back.
She was both obeed, hint and soft by nature. She
was a good woman who always made good choices.

Speaker 3 (00:16):
That we're good mom's bad choices. Who single mom who
said fuck the patriarchy, shared all their bad choices and
sound out they were so bad. After all, we're experts,
overshares and your new besties. Sit back and enjoy the ride.
I can do it. Welcome back to good Mom's bad Choices.
I'm Erica and I'm Mela. Happy humpty bitches, Happy motherfucking

(00:39):
hump day?

Speaker 4 (00:40):
What did it do? How are you feeling. I'm good.

Speaker 5 (00:43):
It's the second week of July. I can't believe how
quick the summer is going. It's getting very hot as
fuck in the valley, going to the beach a lot,
not getting in the water because I'm still scared. But yeah,
I've been good.

Speaker 4 (01:01):
How are you? I'm good?

Speaker 3 (01:02):
I know the summer is going by so fast. I
feel like, you know, like the summers get shorter as
you get older, like you start to notice time I
feel like that a lot like that summer is getting shorter,
time is going faster. I feel like we're going back
to Costa Rica. We just got back. And I also
feel like traveling and doing stuff is just like way

(01:27):
more tolling on my body. Like it's not even that
we're doing a lot of things. It's just like packing,
putting in the suitcase, washing, bringing it home, unpacking it,
putting it back, getting on the airplane, sitting in the
stupid ass, stupid chair. It's just like, I don't know,
it's just taxing. And I'm like I need when we
come back for like two or three weeks. I feel
like I need eight weeks to recover. Leave for three weeks,

(01:50):
recover for six to eight She Kim told me that.

Speaker 5 (01:57):
This summer specifically, actually the world the world is turning
on its access faster, So this is actually going to
be the like one of the like fastest summers in
like recorded history or something like like like specifically this
summer by like two hours or by like how like
how much minutes, Because if every day is twenty four
hours and every month it's the same amount of days,

(02:18):
like how many minutes are we shaving off? I don't
know because I told him, I was like, I feel
like the time is being fucked with, And then like
a few days ago, he was like, I think you're
I think actually you're right.

Speaker 3 (02:28):
Orlando told me that, did you say that the earth
is spending four hundred miles per hour or eight hundred
eight hundred miles per hour?

Speaker 4 (02:35):
But obviously we can't feel it like that. But like.

Speaker 3 (02:38):
I, I, you know, I don't believe anything that the
government tells us.

Speaker 4 (02:44):
So I just who says they're not fucking with the time.

Speaker 3 (02:47):
Who actually sat there today, yesterday, or last week and
counted every sixty seconds to every hour and said, yep,
they did it right.

Speaker 4 (02:57):
We're just trusting the clocks and the cell phones.

Speaker 3 (03:00):
We don't have watches anymore really unless you have a roleax,
and I doubt you even look at it. You just
look at the fucking phone. So if they were lying
and shaving off thirty minutes a year, we fucking wouldn't know.

Speaker 5 (03:11):
Well, if you had a watch, you probably would know.
But that's why I don't think they're actually maybe doing that.
I think it's just like time is just adjusting, like
it's just moving faster. Like I think maybe the watches
actually start moving faster because everything else is moving faster,
like literally, like gravity.

Speaker 3 (03:25):
Starts to pull the little thing face faster. I don't know.
I mean I always think about a time before there
are watches and cell phones, and we were just measuring
by season and by daylight and noon is here, and
nighttime and even birthdays, like you think thousands of years ago.
They're like, I'm thirty five, No, you were just an adult.

Speaker 5 (03:49):
Well, I said, I thought, well, if time is moving faster,
but we're not aging faster, does that mean we're going
to look younger longer. And he said, no, everything is
going to keep moving, and so is your age. I'd
so is your aging process?

Speaker 3 (04:04):
I'm like, okay, I think the aging process is because
we're acknowledging time in this manner. Whoever, we have adopted
this programming that you know, twelve months is one year.

Speaker 4 (04:15):
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Speaker 3 (04:17):
And so technically I'm thirty seven, but in my soul
I'm twenty four, So why would my soul not be right?
And as long as I, in my soul deeply believe
that I'm twenty seven, I'm going to continue to look
twenty seven. I thought you said your twenty four, I
mean twenty.

Speaker 4 (04:34):
Four, okay, whatever.

Speaker 3 (04:38):
As I said the other day at the party, that
i'm trans age, I identify as a twenty four year old,
and if anyone disrespects me and calls me outside of
my trans age, we're going to have a problem. I
identify as a twenty four year old. I feel that way.
I was born this way, and it's twenty four like

(04:59):
a good for you? Like why twenty four? You know?
It just seems like you're just old enough to not
be so stupid. I don't know. Twenty four I was
pretty fucking stupid. I'm twenty four with this, with this knowledge,
I'm twenty four years old in my.

Speaker 5 (05:15):
So what is it that you're adopting from twenty four?
If you have the knowledge, what is it then? Because
you don't look thirty seven? So what about twenty four?
Do you need to adopt that? You can't adopt the
age that you are. It's I can't adopt the age
I am. I just choose not to because I'm transa aged.

Speaker 3 (05:28):
But is it because you think thirty seven is old.

Speaker 4 (05:30):
Or because I just don't feel thirty seven?

Speaker 3 (05:32):
Like, what does it mean to feel thirty seven that
I've lived thirty seven years of life? But that's not
a long time though.

Speaker 5 (05:37):
I think about like the scheme of the scope of
life and how long you're going to hopefully live it,
thirty seven is like still baby.

Speaker 4 (05:43):
I mean not really if you think about it.

Speaker 3 (05:45):
Most people are living to what ninety nine, one hundred
hopefully with technology and vitamins, I can at least make
it to one twenty five. That's like another sixty years.
But Matt, if we live that's a third of your
life already. If we live one hundred years and tidal,
let's say, and I'm thirty seven, that's about sixty four

(06:05):
years ago.

Speaker 4 (06:05):
I don't like that.

Speaker 5 (06:07):
I mean, but technically you're still thirty seven. So your body,
you're still you're still gonna die.

Speaker 4 (06:14):
Respect.

Speaker 3 (06:15):
If we're gonna be friends, you're gonna have to respect
my HI identifying okay, which is trance age of twenty four. Okay,
I'm gonnaed you to remember the age. If we go
out and so it's like, oh my god, how old
are you? Like, oh this is my friend. She had
no because.

Speaker 5 (06:30):
Everyone's gonna like, bitch, why are you hang out with
a twenty four year old, that the fuck is wrong
with you?

Speaker 3 (06:33):
Where are you going? Especially they're gonna think you're twenty four?
Do you want to be twenty four? No?

Speaker 4 (06:38):
What was twenty four a bad year for you?

Speaker 3 (06:40):
I was.

Speaker 5 (06:41):
I mean, it wasn't a bad year. I mean I
was with my baby daddy, were traveling a lot.

Speaker 3 (06:46):
I mean, I don't ever remember, like, do you remember
specifically twenty four, yes, because it was like two years
before I got pregnant. Yeah, like a year and a
half before I got pregnant.

Speaker 5 (06:57):
So actually twenty four was a shitty year. Actually, I
moved to New York. I was like in the midst
of a breakup. I was so confused. I was broke
as fuck.

Speaker 3 (07:05):
Oh I don't want to be twenty four. No, I
was sad. I was having a sex.

Speaker 4 (07:10):
I mean, I'm twenty four with this.

Speaker 3 (07:12):
I was security. I was like, broke as fuck. Fuck.

Speaker 4 (07:15):
I mean, everybody's broken their twenties. It doesn't like I
don't even thinking. I don't know. I wasn't broken. I
was twenty four, but I was stupid.

Speaker 5 (07:20):
I was making dumb choices like I don't know, I
get it, but no, I don't think i'd want to
be four. If I was gonna choose a younger age
to be honestly, it would probably be like thirty one.

Speaker 3 (07:32):
Thirty one was a good year. There's like I had
finally like twenty nine, I broke up with my baby daddy.
Thirty I was like healing.

Speaker 5 (07:39):
Thirty one I was like prime outside like podcasts pop,
like just starting the podcast, like just just like discovering
all these new parts of myself, discovering all like building
the tribe.

Speaker 3 (07:52):
Like that was a good That was a good time.
I'm not saying so much based on like Mike my
going back to that year because it was a mirror,
but I would just like to be that age with
this knowledge and this and this security and this like
state of mind. I feel like in the twenty like
I feel like I live my whole twenties without any

(08:13):
like I mean, not experience, but just like there was
just no care in the world, Like I didn't care
about any of those things too. Yeah, So I was
just like if I could go back to twenty four,
but and I feel like I feel like twenty year
twenty the twenties now are more mature, maybe because the
Internet has more words. They have like more clarity. So
they're I mean watching Love Island. They're not that smart,

(08:35):
but they do know the words.

Speaker 5 (08:37):
I think, I think perhaps a little bit, but as
i'm I'm like, actually, today one of my twenty four
year old I would say, she's like my little homegirl.

Speaker 4 (08:46):
I was gonna say, but you don't want to be
friends with me when I'm twenty four.

Speaker 3 (08:48):
I don't hang out with her.

Speaker 4 (08:49):
When I said I was transferring, I don't hang out
with her.

Speaker 5 (08:52):
Like she calls me when she needs advice. Oh I'm
not going to put her on that care right now,
but yeah, Like she calls me when she needs advice
and she's doing she's asking me some real twenty twenty
two year old shit, and I'm like, girl.

Speaker 3 (09:07):
She send me pictures of shit, Like what what do
you think this means?

Speaker 5 (09:10):
Do you think he's like a fluck boy and he's
like on stories with his abs out with Grace webpants on.
I'm like, yes, he is definitely getting pussy outside of you.

Speaker 3 (09:19):
And like, what do you think?

Speaker 4 (09:21):
Not the streenshot?

Speaker 3 (09:22):
So you know, like I don't know how much far along.

Speaker 5 (09:26):
The youth is just based off the Internet. I thought
about I thought that that would be the case. But
according to my calculation so far, based on the Yans
that I know, not the Whyans that I know, I'm
thinking the Internet actually isn't making them smarter, actually making
them question themselves even more and making them even more
confused and making them, specifically women, doubt their intuition even

(09:49):
more because there's so much confusion and there's so many options,
whereas before when we were Yans, we didn't have this
many options. We just had like the at the party,
or like our friend's friend who said we should hook
up with this guy, or like a guy from high
school that we're still fucking around with, or maybe like
someone on my Space, or you know, like Instagram wasn't

(10:12):
even popping when we were I don't think I joined Instagram.
Maybe when I was like I think I joined Instagram
maybe around twenty four twenty five. I was late to
the Instagram think too. I was like Vine, and I
wasn't finding niggas on Vine, so like it was like
real life.

Speaker 3 (10:25):
I was at like the do over shout out to
the oh Man.

Speaker 4 (10:28):
The doover was a time you always said you always
take a.

Speaker 5 (10:31):
Moment for if anyone remembers the do Over. It was
a hot party and on the YouTube channels right now.
If you know the Duover, you're in Hollywood.

Speaker 4 (10:39):
In those times, it wasn't even in Hollywood.

Speaker 3 (10:41):
The duo Over expanded. It was in Brooklyn, it was
in Seattle, but at first started here.

Speaker 5 (10:45):
I think it actually started in like Seattle. It was
a day of part Portland or something was wherever a
didas is at.

Speaker 3 (10:51):
That's where it started. Organ organ Yeah, it was a dud.
It was ad just wants to party, but whatever. Anyway,
that's where I would find people outside. I was outside.
I wasn't like on the internet, like scrolling through TikTok
and finding hot boys on TikTok and hoping that, like
they I'd catch their attention. I don't feel like I
ever was like so desperate like for love. I wasn't like,

(11:14):
oh I want a boyfriend so bad. I was just
a real yan out in the streets hoeing. But I
but I see, you know what it is. One thing
I'll say about like watching reality TV, especially from this
like scope of like looking at people younger than me,
it's women.

Speaker 4 (11:30):
Women are so deeply.

Speaker 3 (11:33):
Entangled with the need for like stability, romantically in relationship wise,
like even on dating shows.

Speaker 4 (11:40):
I'm like, bitch, you're on a dating show.

Speaker 5 (11:41):
It's because of program I mean it's we're programmed from
a very young age that we're supposed to find love
and be married. I mean the marriage age just recently
went up, Like we'rees.

Speaker 3 (11:52):
We're getting married at nineteen, and that was normal.

Speaker 5 (11:55):
Like that was like you graduate high school and you
marry your call it your high school sweetheart. That was
like a normal thing. Like parents weren't looking down on that.
They were actually like happy that their kid was going
to go get taken care of, like their daughter because
she wasn't going to go to college because why would
she do that?

Speaker 4 (12:09):
You know, Like no, our era was like go to college.

Speaker 1 (12:12):
No.

Speaker 5 (12:12):
But I'm just saying like from the beginning like of time,
maybe at the beginning of time, but like as this
like American as the scope of marriage was formed, which
it was in different cultures, but I would say America,
like there's this like there's this trajectory of like what
happens to a woman. It's like the homemaker, and the
homemaker is very young.

Speaker 4 (12:32):
It's our biological clock too.

Speaker 3 (12:34):
It's all it's like biologically, we're supposed to make babies
and we're at our prime. It's just because we get horny,
and then horny means it's time for babies. It's not
like horny doesn't mean like, let's explore what pleasure is
for us, what our bodies can do.

Speaker 4 (12:48):
You're getting a.

Speaker 3 (12:49):
Horny because we're trying to our bodies are ready to
reproduce exactly.

Speaker 5 (12:52):
But I'm just saying like because of that, that was
also I feel like you used as a way to like, Okay,
so now that these women our horny and want to
have sex, they shouldn't be going exploring that. They should
go be making babies, but their hob they won't.

Speaker 3 (13:06):
Yeah, yeah, we see what happens when you don't put
them away.

Speaker 4 (13:09):
They at crazy. They turned to good moms about choices.

Speaker 3 (13:12):
And I, you know, I finally did catch up. Will
not really catch up.

Speaker 5 (13:15):
I watched two episodes of Love Island, and I don't
know if you guys saw my if you go on
my Instagram, I posted a story today which she Kim
talking about the bombshells and.

Speaker 3 (13:28):
Pulling him aside for a chat. Because I watched that
was quick.

Speaker 4 (13:32):
You watched two episodes and now you're making.

Speaker 5 (13:34):
I got enough information because because I went on. I went,
I talked about my like I was, had a watch
party basically on my stories, And ever since then, I've
been getting fed.

Speaker 3 (13:44):
You had a watch party of your stories.

Speaker 5 (13:45):
I've been getting fed so much Love Island content that
I don't really think I even need to watch anymore.

Speaker 4 (13:50):
People.

Speaker 3 (13:50):
Everyone's updated me on everything that's going to happen. Well,
the internet will tell you. Before I saw that Sierra
got kicked off, but I'm not there yet. She got
kicked off because she said something a racial slur.

Speaker 4 (14:01):
I didn't really know that was a I mean, I
didn't really know that was racial.

Speaker 3 (14:03):
People are so fucking scisage. Yeah, Like, I don't think
that was just and in my opinion, but Blue Centric
went on a deep dive literally I didn't even know
you can make reals this long, a five minute deep
dive that I watched last night that said that Sierra.

Speaker 4 (14:18):
Plotted on the show.

Speaker 3 (14:19):
Her friend, her best friend before she got on the show,
planned her a Love Island birthday party, and then she
started becoming friends with other Love Islanders, one of which
she was like a known racist who basically said Trayvon
Martin if this all of this wouldn't happen if he
was white, and she became friends with her and then
she got on Love Island. So basically they're saying she's
very calculated. She's friends with a previous Islander who was

(14:42):
a known racist, and so obviously she's That's what Blue
Centric said and that she obviously did all of these
things to be like calculated and come on, Love Island,
I want to know where Okay, I'm gonna I'm not
gonna be transaged for one second are the Where are
the shows for the older bitches? Like what's the reality

(15:04):
show for the thirty plus? I don't know.

Speaker 5 (15:06):
All I know is that when I watched the two
episodes of Love Island, that confirmed to me that the
younger generation is not actually getting smarter. Maybe they're smarter
and like just knowledge of what's happening in the world,
we're still very immature when it comes to love, when
it comes to their own personal value and why it

(15:27):
is they want any of it.

Speaker 3 (15:29):
Emotional immaturity does not change because you know big words
from the Internet.

Speaker 5 (15:34):
And also, like I'm positive that there was an.

Speaker 3 (15:38):
Sti STD outbreak on the show no, they're.

Speaker 4 (15:42):
Only making out not I'm positive. I'm like, you have proof,
Yeah you can.

Speaker 5 (15:46):
You can get an STI from making out if you
have an outbreak.

Speaker 3 (15:49):
Oh, I mean like like herpies won. Yeah yeah, I
mean but no, I mean I'm assuming that they're probably
not going to be making out.

Speaker 4 (15:56):
They have cold soares.

Speaker 3 (15:59):
They are also with the culture.

Speaker 4 (16:00):
There's like a lot you did in Orlando.

Speaker 3 (16:03):
It's just gross. Honestly, it's really gross.

Speaker 5 (16:05):
And I was like, I want to watch Love Island.
I was like, hell no, Like I left her watch
Love is Blind, and that was already pushing it because
then I had to fucking tell her like about sex
because Love is Blind, and I had to like have
the Birds in the Beast conversation because of the fucking
surrogate and all this other shit. So I was like, I'm,
first of all, this is crazy. This is definitely not
You're not going to think that you can just go

(16:26):
around making out with your friends, friends and boyfriends and.

Speaker 3 (16:29):
Get blindfolded and duck dug goose bitch.

Speaker 4 (16:31):
I mean, they're do it. The twenty year old you're
gonna do shit like that anyway.

Speaker 5 (16:36):
I mean, I thought to myself, like when I was
in my early twenties. I probably would have like not
done Love Island. I would never have been videoed doing
this shit for my parents to see. But I probably
would have done some. I probably did do sometime shit
like this. I mean, we were all having sex and
closets together, you know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (16:50):
Yeah, so it's back in the movie theaters cars, But
but the thing was it was in private, like we
weren't putting this on fucking national TV never to be
able to be unseen again. Soone can just go back
and just find all the negative things I've said, pulled
me off the show, make it on the internet. I
also read or saw something that was interesting. I guess
because we're in production, I can all all I can

(17:13):
think about with reality shows is production, Like, so the product.
You can't just see the producers on set, like, let's
just do something crazy, let's just throw on ten new people. Yeah,
let's make a make out I know a great idea,
send them a text.

Speaker 4 (17:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (17:26):
Then I was like, they're got cheap because they didn't
even bring the host. And they stopped bringing the host
in because she probably her hair and makeup was too much,
she was too old, she was too old to be
around them. I don't like I I I.

Speaker 5 (17:36):
First of all, this show's making so much money, I know,
for such little reproduction.

Speaker 3 (17:42):
I mean they're in Fiji though that's a huge house
or in Fiji. I also realized they're never eating They
only eat breakfast. Did you notice that they never eat lunch,
they never eat dinner. I'm like, are they getting fed? No,
because they're drunk. No, actually I also heard it. But
I also noticed too because I peeped. They're not as
drunk as you if you've seen on other shows. I
think they're being like they're kind of being somewhat monitoring there. No,

(18:03):
I can only have two drinks a day, wine or beer,
not hard liquor. Oh that's I always thought of Maya
I was drunk, But apparently she's not drunk it she's
just her. I don't even know who that is.

Speaker 5 (18:11):
I haven't even gotten there, but I'm and I'm also
not going to get there because after I watched the
second episode, I told myself there's no way that I
can continue watching this.

Speaker 3 (18:20):
I will just do recap videos because.

Speaker 5 (18:23):
I realized, like, my brain can't take this type of
like stimulation. It literally feels like my brain is melting.
It wasn't even enjoyable for me, Like I was just.

Speaker 4 (18:35):
A sure a while we're like, what the fuck are
they talking about?

Speaker 3 (18:37):
What they want? It's like the same, like they're crying
when people go home. They're making it like I didn't
get that I'm a mommy thing. I had no idea
that was from Love Island. Like you see this like
I'm I'm a mommy, You're a mommy, A mamasita, no,
a mommy of a I had no idea that this
was from Love Island. I told you by last week,
I'm a mommy like the whole No, I had no idea.

(19:00):
I had no idea where they came from.

Speaker 5 (19:01):
But more so what I realized when I'm watching this
and just reality TV in general, And this is probably
why I don't really watch a lot of TV. I
like scripted shows and like TV and film, but I
feel like these things are literally designed to desensitize us
because there's so much chaos going on in the world,
so it's like we want something to like take the

(19:22):
edge off or like distract us, and so this shit
is working. This is literally numbing people, desensitizing people, and
I'm concerned about reality TV and their connection to all
the propaganda of the world and how it is melting
our brains and making us numb to everything.

Speaker 3 (19:43):
It's actually like I agree, it's it's gonna make you
stupid if you watch it too much.

Speaker 5 (19:48):
It's like someone was like, I was like, give me
three to five hours to catch up. They're like, no,
you need three to five days.

Speaker 3 (19:54):
Are lost.

Speaker 5 (19:55):
I watched one episode and I kept like, you know,
talking on stories, and I realized it's been two hours
because I can pausing it.

Speaker 3 (20:02):
They are so long, or and they're twenty eight episodes
and they're releasing them every single day.

Speaker 4 (20:07):
I don't have time, and you can vote.

Speaker 3 (20:09):
I don't want to have the time.

Speaker 4 (20:11):
So I took a.

Speaker 3 (20:12):
Break from Love Island and Orlando turned on Naked and Afraid,
which has been on for like a decade. I've seen that.
I guess I've seen it back in the day, but
can you open this for me? But I haven't seen
it recently, and I'm just like, reality TV lets me
know that the majority of humanity is stupid, and I

(20:35):
think it's important to note that, like, don't assume that
most people have common sense. I mean Luckily for Naked
and Afraid, they'll do twenty one days in one episode,
so I'm not fucking watching a budget. I mean, like,
but it's so many people. I mean there's black people
on there too, which is obviously shocking for me, but
there's mostly Caucasian people. But to voluntarily go into the

(20:58):
deep jungles of the Philippine, remove every single article of clothing,
have no supplies, and say I'm doing this for my daughter.

Speaker 4 (21:08):
She's five. She's gonna know I'm so strong.

Speaker 3 (21:11):
Like NIGGI, your daughter doesn't give a fuck if you
go on Naked Afraid and leave for three weeks so
you could prove to whoever the fuck that you can
survive all your money.

Speaker 4 (21:20):
Now I look that up too.

Speaker 3 (21:21):
They look at like compensation for missing work, like twenty grand.
They're eating snails. These two people ate a rat. They're
like getting attacked by aunts. This one girl, Erica, she
had no legs. She had a bilateral amputee. I thought
she was gonna be able to leave on her stilts.

(21:42):
The bitch took off her legs. She hopped out of
the truck and started crawling on her pussy through the jungle.
I mean, I got your calling, but why and then
I could just And then or Lando told me there
was an episode where they were starving because they starve
kid here in the air on Please, and the guy

(22:03):
found the production tent and stole food and was like
the girl was like on her last leg and he
was like, here, eat the food, and she's like where did.

Speaker 4 (22:11):
You get this?

Speaker 3 (22:12):
And that's again, that's all I keep thinking about, like
as me, if I signed up for this, even if
the maybe if the prize was a million dollars, I
voluntarily signed up to get naked and afraid and there's
probably like twenty motherfuckers and if within a fifteen minute
walk just eating and chilling with fucking shelter and I'm
just naked and starving because I'm stupid, Like it's one

(22:34):
thing if you have to survive in an apocalypt situation,
but if I just voluntarily, well maybe they want to
know if they can. I mean, shit, baby, go can
find thee want naked and Afraid. I'm gonna find them
because when the shit goes down, that's who I want.

Speaker 1 (22:48):
To be with.

Speaker 4 (22:48):
Baby.

Speaker 3 (22:49):
They don't even look like they they don't even have
the skills. I don't even know why they're going there,
so I mean they know how to light fires and
bill shelters.

Speaker 4 (22:55):
I've seen it, baby, I do too now because I
watch two episodes.

Speaker 3 (22:58):
But it's it's hard. Ain't no. They all get a
fire starter in one pot. But I'm like, there's no
way in hell I'm going on a show to be
naked and afraid in the jungle. It's raining, it's cold,
no blankets, you know. And I watched a few days ago,
Tropic Thunder. I made Iri watch Tropic Thunder because I
was just like, I want to watch something stupid but
not fucking Love Island. And so it was either Talladiga Knights,

(23:21):
I thought of you, and we started watching it, but
she wasn't into it, and so we stopped watching it.

Speaker 4 (23:27):
You know, Erica has never seen Telldiga Knights.

Speaker 3 (23:28):
I watched it because I thought I told. I told she.
I was like, this is the Cumula's favorite movie. Let
me let me watch it so I get her fucking jokes.

Speaker 4 (23:35):
I kepn't even missing my jokes for like almost ten years.

Speaker 5 (23:38):
And so we started watching maybe like twenty five minutes
of it, and then Iri was like hmm hm, and
I was like, all right, fine, so we started watching it.
Then we started watching Tropic Thunder, and I've I'm like
trying to explain what's going on, Like.

Speaker 3 (23:50):
He's not black, but he's white. That's Tony Stark. She's like,
who's Tony Stark. I'm like Marvel.

Speaker 4 (23:55):
She's like, oh, I.

Speaker 5 (23:56):
Hate Marvel, and I'm like, okay, just forget about Marvel. This
is a white man. He's like, now he's Asian. Now
he's Asians. But he was black. I'm like, I know,
but now he's an Asian, he's an act. So it
was a lot of communication, but she finally got it
and understand Yeah, And then I almost forgot how fucking
funny Tom Cruise was of that movie, because Tom Cruise

(24:16):
is so scary to me now because he's, you know,
such a deep in the scientology that every time I
see him, I'm like, what a fucking weirdo. But then
on the movie, like he was fucking hilarious. They had
prosthetics on his hands, like his hands were so big
and hairy, and his chest was so hairy.

Speaker 3 (24:31):
It was it was, you know, And then I thought, too,
I don't know if this movie can come out now.
People are so fucking sensitive, Like, I can't say, how
could this movie have come out? They were talking about retard.

Speaker 4 (24:42):
I watched old movies they were.

Speaker 6 (24:44):
Retired, had this movie where he played like like metal
and they kept calling him retarded, and I was like, damn,
the days of just like Balls to the Wall, Calmedy,
You're fucking done.

Speaker 3 (24:56):
You'll get canceled like here, yeah, I'm probably gonna get
canceled for saying I'm trans age. I just yeah, I
mean people need to have a little bit tougher skin. Anyway,
I highly recommend going back into the vault and watching
Traffic Thunder. It's a classic. It's very funny.

Speaker 4 (25:14):
Can you please finish watching Child digod nights?

Speaker 3 (25:16):
I will.

Speaker 5 (25:16):
I have to watch it without you, without without irin.
The first it was good, Yeah, it was funny. I
love Will Ferrell, thank He's fucking hilarious. And you know
what I love the most about all those guys like
Will Ferrell, Ben Stiller, Adam Sandler, like they all.

Speaker 3 (25:31):
Hire their friends.

Speaker 5 (25:32):
Like Adam Sandler's wife is in a lot of his movies,
just like jeded Appatose. Adam Sandler has a wife, And
I'm sorry that Adam Samily does have a wife. I
met ben Stiller, and yeah, I remember, like Marsha, Marsha, Marsha,
I remember the Brady Bench, Marcia, like the new Brady Bench. Yeah,
Marcia is Adam ben Stiller's wife.

Speaker 3 (25:55):
Oh okay, I didn't know that.

Speaker 4 (25:56):
Yeah, okay.

Speaker 5 (25:58):
So I just love how they they make each other
rich together, and that's what I wanted to casting each
other in it.

Speaker 3 (26:04):
And it's fucking hilarious, and they're like funny movies, and
I always think about that, like even couples retreat the movie.
I'm like, they just got all their homies to go
out of town and make a movie and got a budget,
and I aspire for this. I just want to make
a bunch of funny movies, hang out with my friends
and make millions of dollars and laugh and not be
too deep and just be able to do whatever you want. Yeah,

(26:24):
it was good. I hope you hear my christ baby Jesus. Yeah.
So that's how I've been enjoying my summer, getting slower,
making my brain soup by watching reality TV.

Speaker 5 (26:38):
No, I haven't been doing that. I'm not doing that.
I'm not participating in this reality TV thing. I think
like I went through a really heavy reality season in
my life where I watched a lot of love and
hip hop and housewives, and I think I just like
overdid it then that I.

Speaker 3 (26:52):
Just I just can't do it.

Speaker 4 (26:54):
I don't love it.

Speaker 3 (26:55):
But even like the funny ones like love like Love
after lock Up, like.

Speaker 5 (27:00):
But then I like, I fall off because it's just
I don't know, I can't.

Speaker 3 (27:06):
I mean, TV is definitely a distraction. I do enjoy
reality TV shows that are not exploiting black people as much.
Like sometimes I like I was I was getting my
hair braided and the raider's daughter came and she was
like filling me in on Love Island because she's fucking fifteen,
and she was saying, like, oh, you don't watch baddies.
I was like, that's where I draw the line. I

(27:28):
was like, no, I do not want to see a
bunch of black women beat each other up and call
each other names. Absolutely not. I'm like being righteous. She's like, bitch,
we're watching Love Island for ten hours. But I just yeah,
I'm I don't want to watch zeus, but a bunch
of like young, stupid twenty year olds maybe, and then
I can. It kind of gives me insight to what

(27:48):
we have to look forward to having kids, you know, Like, so,
what what do you mean? I'm just saying they're gonna
be young and dumb and twenty something and like, and
you're gonna have to be like, hey, we're not that
fucking stupid. No, I've already told Lunash she's forbidden from
going on Love Island or naked and afraid.

Speaker 5 (28:05):
I will disown you. I will cut off all funds.
Nothing will be available to you. Nothing, you hear me, Iri,
Absolutely fucking nothing nothing.

Speaker 4 (28:14):
It's really you know what I think.

Speaker 3 (28:16):
Mostly I'm realizing, I mean, watching stupid ass shows and
observing how stupid twenty something years old can be, and
like just the growth and the maturity that happens between
like twenty nine and forty is like I time is
going by so fast, and like faster than I don't know,

(28:41):
faster than I can like accept this last ten years
is eight years of good moms. How fast has it
gone by? I feel like I've blinked, and like every
time I think about it, I have to smoke. That's
why I'm gonna light this blackwood right now, because what
the fuck? No?

Speaker 5 (29:00):
Time as is going by and I think I think
especially for like maybe not I want to say especially,
but I think for us because we have.

Speaker 3 (29:09):
Time markers. I mean essentially everybody does now on their phone.

Speaker 5 (29:12):
The phone will fucking trigger the fuck out of you
and remind you where you were four years ago on
this day. But I think just everyone having at like
easily accessible moments to really see the moments in their
life puts this like a little bit of anxiety, a
little bit of fear, but also like I think that's

(29:33):
also a gift too. It's like an invitation for you
to like really appreciate the time and appreciate the moment.
And like, I know, for me, like in this season
of my life, I've been, you know I've been. I think,
like in my early thirties and starting good Moms, like
I really needed to reclaim myself and like who I

(29:54):
was outside of motherhood and what I wanted.

Speaker 3 (29:57):
To do, Who was Erica? What made me happy?

Speaker 5 (30:00):
Because I had been in a relationship for so long
and honestly, like even throughout my twenties, to think about
my twenties, like I had moments of like hot girls, subberbness,
but like I was in a relationship all the time,
Like I was always found myself in a relationship, and
it wasn't because I was like seeking relationships. Yes, I
loved love, but like I would just fall into one.
So I think, like being in the beginning of Good Moms,

(30:21):
like that was my opportunity and my time to like
really understand who I wanted to identify as as a mother,
and I like Good Moms gave me that gift. And
I think that now I feel like I'm in a
season of like really enjoying not that I didn't enjoy
motherhood then, but like really enjoying this season of motherhood,

(30:42):
really enjoying this season of my daughter's life and wanting
to spend a lot of time with her because I
do know that it's going fast, because I do see
that it's going fast, and I do see that like
I've missed opportunities. I've missed opportunities pouring into myself because
it was necessary. But then there's also the guilt, and
the truth of the matter is that like there were
times where I wasn't there, you know, A, because I

(31:03):
was fulfilling my dreams. B because I was being selfish
because I needed to be. And now I feel like
I don't know I just I think this specifically this
summer and maybe this year has been really revealing to
me as to like how I want to spend like

(31:24):
the next I won't even say eight years of motherhood
because when she's eight seventeen, like she won't be at
the house or yeah, it's really like five yeah, five
to six, Like how what kind of mom do I
want to be? Like how am I building this relationship
with her?

Speaker 3 (31:41):
Like how is she how is she fucking doing? Is
she okay?

Speaker 5 (31:46):
Like what are her relationships like really investing time into?
Like what are the things do you want to be
good at the other day she we went bike riding
last night and.

Speaker 3 (31:57):
The later and she was like, you know what I
used to do when I was eight? And I was
like today, like two years ago, year and a half.
She was like, sometimes I used to like go to
restaurants and I'm like, sometimes like with who me?

Speaker 4 (32:13):
Like right?

Speaker 5 (32:17):
And I would sing kind of loud because I hoped
like a music producer would hear me and then like
maybe they'd signed me.

Speaker 3 (32:24):
And I was like really not kind of loud.

Speaker 5 (32:29):
And She's like and I was like, so do you
want to be you want to sing? And then she
was like no, and I could see her like like no,
like she was afraid, Like I was gonna like judge her. No,
not not even judge her, like for sort of like
tried it, you know, like what do you want to
do it?

Speaker 3 (32:41):
Like, let's do it.

Speaker 5 (32:43):
And I was like, well, I ree like if you
ever wanted to sing, like you know, you have like
a dad that could like help you with that, like
he could produce a song for you, like whatever needed
to happen.

Speaker 3 (32:53):
If you wanted to try it, we could do that.
She's like no, No. I was like okay, So we
got to we rode our bikes this restaurant near my house.

Speaker 4 (33:02):
Do shit, be careful back and backward.

Speaker 3 (33:07):
Oh, take a shout out to the backwoods, because that's
all I really need.

Speaker 4 (33:13):
God damn.

Speaker 5 (33:16):
And I think like I was just like trying to
casually bring it back up again because even for me,
like I loved, I love music, I know how to record.
The whole reason, like even I knew how to edit
our podcast was because I had made tons and tons
of music before and I knew how to use garage
band and blah blah blah, and like me and Chaquem,
like will he'll like fuck around and like like we'll

(33:38):
uh write, well, he'll write, and then I'll sing some
songs with him, and not because I want to be
a singer, but just because that's something that I really
genuinely loved and it like brought me joy, and so
I was like, when we got to dinner, I was like,
why don't we just I was like, you know what.
I looked at my notes and I found a song
that we wrote and we had written me and I
had written a song like twenty twenty one, and she

(33:58):
was like, let me hear it because my notes and
it was like the silly little song and she's like
and I was like do you like it?

Speaker 3 (34:04):
And she's like it's cool?

Speaker 5 (34:05):
And I was like, what if we like recorded it
and just like messed around, because like I want to
mess around. I miss me making music and maybe we
can make music together. And she was like Okay, She's like,
well then let's write it right now. And so we
like wrote like a little song last night at the
dinner table. And it's just like being able to like
really tap into like the things that she really wants
to do, even though I know there's fear behind it

(34:28):
and I feel like that's like my biggest joy right
now is like trying to figure out like what it
is that she wants to be good at, because at ten,
like I was way deep into sports already, I was
like I knew I wanted to be an actor.

Speaker 3 (34:41):
I was already I had been auditioning since I was
like eight.

Speaker 5 (34:44):
And for her, like, I've kind of like let it
be free flowing, and I want to keep it sort
of that way, but there is like a level of
discipline that I think is important right now in her
life that's going to set her up for the rest
of her life.

Speaker 3 (34:59):
And I don't want to be too free flowing anymore.

Speaker 5 (35:01):
I want to like really try to figure out, like, Okay,
if we're going to do something, let's do it. So
it's been like I don't know, it's it's been fun
figuring that out over the last month or so. I
think that I think we talked about this a couple
of weeks ago, but I agree, like I think that
there when you're your kid gets around this age and

(35:23):
they can form their own ideas and opinions, and like
you could talk to them like we're talking to each other,
there's a different like oh shit, this happened so quickly.
And also I see that with Luna to like the fear,
and I'm like, I'm I'm scary too, Like even when
we do shows and stuff, I get so nervous, but
I do it anyway, like that's my thing, Like I
don't care how scared I am.

Speaker 3 (35:42):
I'm gonna do it anyway. But try to instill that
in her. And also like I realize, like I get
anxiety sometimes thinking like oh my god, you're not a
master pianoist or anything like right now, or I haven't,
like have I not made you disciplined enough so that
you have something like what Macy Gray told us, make
sure your kid has something that they're good at, which
I agree.

Speaker 4 (36:03):
I also feel like like.

Speaker 3 (36:04):
For us, for instance, when we created Good Moms, it
wasn't with all of this like very like we're like
we're going to be rich. We're just like doing something
because we enjoyed it, trying something new. And I feel
like there's a point in adulthood where we kind of
stop doing that because the reality of bills and responsibility
dawns on us. And like I would I want to
be more playful in my creativity because growing up and

(36:27):
as a teenager, like I used to love to write,
used to love to write poetry, scrap book, like just
trying paint, like those are all things that I love
to do. But as you get older, you'd make less
time for them because it's like, what's going to pay
the bills? And it's like I think that you're calling
and you're discipline and all those things come when you're
something that you really like, you just start to really like.
But like like you said, bringing them in, introducing them

(36:49):
to things free flowing and letting it like casually pushing
them to get it disciplined so they get real in it.
But even with us, like I'm like, we have a
fucking production company, Like let's just walk around to make
a movie.

Speaker 4 (37:00):
Let's see what happens. Like look at even Issa Ray.

Speaker 3 (37:02):
She put on I mean, I'm sure was serious, but
like a series on the internet and this she's a
fucking mogul. So it's just like I think sometimes we
put we apply all this pressure to things as adults
that we need to like apply the childhood lens to
instead of being so.

Speaker 4 (37:18):
Like this is this is it?

Speaker 3 (37:19):
You know what I mean? And I do I want
I've thought about this recently, like the nostalgia of like
writing poetry or making like scrap books with poetry and
them and things like I wouldn't necessarily do that now
because why. But it's like why do I need a
why and just and other than the point of just
to create, you know. And I'm like I'm trying to, yes,

(37:40):
be more present with Luna and like what she went
like developing those skills, and also just like I'm recognizing
like life is zooming by life is short, Like these
moments are fleeting and it's scary, you know. I just
was with my friend and he has a friend, his neighbor.

Speaker 4 (38:00):
He called me at the morning.

Speaker 3 (38:01):
He was like, you know, so and so killed themselves
and I was just like I just saw this person
at his house and it was so interesting, Like I
had a bad feeling then, like he was arguing, he
was crying, and I just like was like, you know,
in passing. But when he called me, I was like,
oh my god, Like somebody, like even someone who I'm
not super close with but have been around, was here

(38:23):
like a last week and then one day or he's not,
and I was just like, you never know what someone's
going through he was young, like twenty eight years old,
and it's just like these moments, this life is so
precious and like finding joy in it and just kind
of removing these these societal made pressures. Like obviously it's

(38:45):
it's real because you have to survive, you have to
take care of yourself, but like every moment counts, and
it's just like being playful in it, being present in it,
and even being gentle with myself, you know, like how
I'm gentle with my child. And I took Luna with
me were to see my friend yesterday and I was
like before we walked in, I was like, damn sure
I tell her because I'm sure this is going to

(39:06):
be come up as a topic. But like even thinking
about introducing the concept of suicide to a ten year old,
you know what I mean, Like I don't know what
age I was when I realized, Like you know, when
you start to realize about birth and about death and
about life and like where do you go after? Like
those questions that start to dawn on you at a
certain age when you become cognitizant enough and conscious enough.
But I'm just like sometimes I'm worried if I'm introducing

(39:29):
to her to concepts too early. But then again, it's like,
this is life, this is what you're about to walk into.
But we're at such an interesting and delicate time that
I think that our parenting is showing up different than
our parents did too, Like we have so much more knowledge,
we have so much more awareness because we're literally scrolling,
we're literally present in adulthood in this way. And I'm

(39:49):
just like, there's this, Am I doing a good job?
Am I doing good enough? Am I going to like
die one day and be like, oh my god, in
twenty twenty four, I should have done this or should
have been at the or whatever.

Speaker 4 (40:00):
And I'm just like, it is such a deep.

Speaker 5 (40:04):
I think that though, Like I mean, yeah, I mean
I think there's gonna be the ebbs and flow of
sometimes it's guilt, and sometimes it is true sometimes like
what I said in my early like when I first
started the show and I was trying to find myself,
I was away doing shit that like was for me,
that was probably sometimes I had to literally sometimes reregulate

(40:25):
myself and say, bitch, go sit down, go be a mom,
like stop chasing this nake. You know, Like there's times
where you're doing that, like do you really need to
go on this girl's trip? Like your daughter has this
this this, Yes, you only get this moment to go
see this first recital, you know, like there's like the
ebbs and flow of the balance. And like one thing
I'll say is like I totally agree with the playfulness.

(40:46):
I totally agree that, Like as adults we lose sight
of that. And like even me, like sitting down and
looking at my old journals and seeing all the poetry
I used to write for just no other reason, just
because I was already in flow, because I was already
writing music, and then like trying to get back to
that and not overthink it. And then now we re
trying to introduce my daughter to this concept of having

(41:09):
fun making music. But then also like the discipline, and
like why I think I think that that is important,
Like yes, the play all those things, but then like
once you decide or once you see something blossoming, then
like really pushing the discipline. And that's where like I
think it gets a little tricky for parents because we
feel like I don't want to, like, am I forcing

(41:30):
her to do something she doesn't want to do? And
it's like, well, I think about all the times my
mom forced me to get up and take my ass
a soccer practice, forced me to do, like force me
to go to the audition I didn't want to go
to because I was scared, or because I just didn't
feel like it.

Speaker 3 (41:43):
I wanted to go hang out with my friends. And like,
I think that we.

Speaker 5 (41:46):
Become in a society sometimes a little too complacent too
with our parenting, and like, I do believe like there's
a level of discipline, especially in this age, that I
maybe like even before this age, honestly, that I think
it's important for kids, especially in the world that we're
living in now, especially in a world that's like literally
wants us to be numb, literally just wants us to
just tap in away and go like desensitize ourselves and

(42:09):
just go for pay and go forget what's really happening.
And it's like, no, Like there's a level of discipline
that at least for me, I can only speak for
myself that I'm realizing that I want to implement in
her because I've allowed her to.

Speaker 3 (42:22):
Be choose what she wants to do. Oh, you want
to quit soccer? Okay, you know you're.

Speaker 5 (42:28):
Only eight let's like figure out some other stuff you
want to do. And that's fine, but like I don't
want that to continue to be the trend in like
how I'm allowing her to flow in and out of
her interests. Like, if you're going to be interested in something,
let's really explore it all the way, fully decide if
you don't like this all the way.

Speaker 3 (42:43):
Do you feel like when you did soccer and I
sorry go ahead, no sorry, no, no, no, go ahead. Do
you feel like when you were like, uh, deeply in
sports it was because you were like, this is what
I want to do and you're like, Mom picked me up,
we have a game, or is because she was like,
this is what you're.

Speaker 4 (42:56):
Going to do?

Speaker 3 (42:58):
No, I think that's My journey to sports was layered.
It's my dad.

Speaker 1 (43:01):
My dad.

Speaker 5 (43:02):
My dad was a professional athlete, like you know, the
top athletes ever, and like I always knew that growing up,
and people always assumed that I was an athlete because
of that, And then I actually did have talent as
an athlete. And then I also realized I liked winning
and so like, and I realized I was naturally competitive
and like that I could get good at something in

(43:22):
that way I think the first thing that I was
good at was swimming, So like I started competing in swimming, and.

Speaker 3 (43:27):
Like that was fun.

Speaker 5 (43:27):
I could hang out with my friends like I had
my crew, you know. But then there's times where like
I didn't fucking feel like doing it, and those are
the times where your parenting has to step in and
you have to like be.

Speaker 3 (43:39):
Like it's hard. I didn't realize how difficult it probably
was for my mom At times. It's hard because you
want to be like, oh, baby, like it is early.
I did keep you up all late last night because
we were out with my friends, right, and now I'm
forcing you to get up at six am to go
to your soccer. Let's just stay no, Like my mom
did not play that shit, Like she was like, get
your ass up, you're going I don't care. You have
soccer in the morning and you have soccer after school,

(44:00):
and you know, like granted, eventually, I wouldn't say that's
why I started hating like that sport. It was probably
my coach.

Speaker 5 (44:08):
But that level of discipline I see show up in
me now. I see how it shows up in like
how I like my well when I'm when I'm focused
on something I'm going to I'm going to follow it through.
I want to finish it, and then I see how
like sometimes it has it showed up for me too,
like in ways where I haven't completed things, and I

(44:31):
just want I want to give I want to give
my daughter the opportunity to really be able to hone
in on discipline, because I think discipline I learned early.
But then I think I kind of when you become an.

Speaker 3 (44:42):
Adult and you can do whatever you want, you kind
of like lose track of that and you're like, fuck it,
I don't have to do this. I don't have to
do that well.

Speaker 4 (44:48):
Because there's no practice, there's no coach.

Speaker 3 (44:50):
Yeah, there's that's doing it. And then you're like, why
am I Why don't I know what I'm doing with
my life? I don't know what I'm doing? Mom? Help?

Speaker 5 (44:57):
And your mom's like, bitch, I tried, it's on my hands.
So letting you get an adult. And then you're like,
I hate my nine to five?

Speaker 3 (45:03):
What are you know? So it's I don't know.

Speaker 5 (45:05):
I just I don't want to be like a fucking
what is it called an authoritarian? But I also I
think that I'm I realized like that I want her
to hone in on what it is that she wants, like,
for example, even horseback riding, like she hasn't she stopped
horseback riding.

Speaker 3 (45:23):
She was getting really good at that. Obviously that was expensive,
so we had to stop that. That was getting crazy. But
like just certain things, I don't want her to think
that she can just pick and choose what she likes
and then abandon it when it gets a little bit challenging. Yeah,
I'm also realizing like we have to be examples for those,
for those for those uh, just little hobbies, you know,

(45:44):
like I I have.

Speaker 4 (45:47):
To read books. For you to read books, I'd be like,
let's go.

Speaker 3 (45:50):
You have to see me do the thing to even
be like, bitch you, I didn't see you read a
book this year. And I've And that's another thing, Like
I used to read so much and because I was,
I was writing, so I was reading, and like time
now like I've finished two books this year, which is
a fucking miracle, you know, and it's we're in July,
and I obviously that's not a lot, but just diving

(46:12):
into my hobbies so that she sees me do the
same thing, so that she's encouraged to do the same thing.

Speaker 4 (46:17):
Like it's such parenting.

Speaker 3 (46:20):
I don't know if we'll ever stop figuring it out,
Like it's a constant dissection of like balance and compassion
and discipline. And it's just like I realized where my
parents could have probably been more like I never had
a parent that was like you have to do this
or like you know, I mean even when I was
deep into dance, like it's because that's what I wanted
to do, I was like waking that up, like yo,

(46:41):
you gotta drop me off at seven am, you know.
But I do feel like with adulthood, you're like, oh,
I don't have to do that, and so I could
just go hang out with my soul.

Speaker 5 (46:50):
And then you have to read and you have to
you have to, Like it's like a resurgence of that
on your own terms.

Speaker 3 (46:56):
And it's like but sometimes it takes a little bit longer.

Speaker 5 (46:59):
And I mean even in our space like of like
having a business, like it's like the ebbs and flow
of like staying focused, staying activated, staying inspired.

Speaker 3 (47:07):
Like right when there's no paycheck, there's no boss, you know,
there's no deadline. Yeah, And I think it starts early.
Oh and by the way, guys.

Speaker 5 (47:14):
I don't know if you guys, if there's any kids
of parents between the ages of four and fourteen in
the LA area. Speaking of mindfulness of discipline, my partner
Skem is doing a muay time meditation program in the
park for kids. So IRI's gonna be there. It starts
this Friday and it's in the valley, and so if

(47:35):
you're interested, make sure you go check out his Instagram.
I don't know how to fun she Kem house at Instagram,
at him, or you can email shakem works at gmail
dot com and and tap in.

Speaker 3 (47:48):
Because I'm excited for Iri to do that. I'm excited
you should bring Luna.

Speaker 5 (47:51):
To to just like even learn about I've meditated with Iri,
but have I like sat down with her and like
made it fun and like.

Speaker 3 (48:00):
She come so good with kids.

Speaker 5 (48:01):
So if you're interested in like introducing your kids to
muy thai, which is a great confidence builder. Our kids
need more than ever to know how to protect themselves
and then also mindfulness and meditation, then come.

Speaker 3 (48:14):
Join us on Friday at the park in the valley.
Do you remember when I used to hate we used
to hate sing my partner. I know, I call my boyfriend,
my part.

Speaker 5 (48:26):
Yeah, I just to say that my friend Romo, she
used to call her man her partner, and I was like,
he sounds like he's trans or like are you, like.

Speaker 4 (48:33):
Are you lesbian?

Speaker 3 (48:34):
Are you? I don't know, like what's going on that.

Speaker 4 (48:38):
We have a new vocabulary.

Speaker 5 (48:40):
But you know what I see, I understand it now
because boy friend, my man.

Speaker 3 (48:45):
Is not a boy and he's not my friend. So
where the fuck did we get this? I mean, he's
my friend, but like, where the fuck did we get this?
Like it's for teenagers, your boyfriend, yea, even a love Island.

Speaker 5 (48:57):
Sorry, not to go back to the violin one of
the moments I noticed she was like, I'm going to
pick one of the boys.

Speaker 4 (49:02):
I always call them boys.

Speaker 5 (49:03):
I'm like, because they are they're like little boys, not
like the men.

Speaker 3 (49:08):
Never the men, the boys.

Speaker 4 (49:10):
Because they are boys.

Speaker 3 (49:11):
I love them though, I'm like, I love I love
the life violent boys.

Speaker 4 (49:15):
Oh my god, Oh my god.

Speaker 5 (49:17):
But yeah, no, just like going back, like the discipline
I think is important and but for sure like the play,
like the play is is a big part of them
deciding what you want to be disciplined in. So I'm
excited to make some music with iron and see what
comes of it. And you know, I even when we
were writing the song, I could feel myself trying to
like I was like wanting to like control, like that

(49:38):
doesn't make sense, Like just leave it alone.

Speaker 3 (49:40):
Let it not make sense. Okay, it doesn't make sense.

Speaker 4 (49:43):
Music listen, it doesn't make sense. Yeah I do.

Speaker 3 (49:50):
I just want to do more kids stuff because adulting
is intense. I want to pain and play and do
makeup and ride bikes night cycles and yeah, just be
the best mom I can be.

Speaker 4 (50:03):
But there's no rule book.

Speaker 3 (50:05):
Maybe that's the next book, a Good Mom's Guide to
being a good mom. I think, well, you make the rules.
You make the rule book for how you want a parent.
I think that.

Speaker 5 (50:14):
I think you make the rules, and then you move
through life within those guardrails, right, like they're yours to do.
But I think that it's important to I don't know,
like you wing it. And then eventually, like when you
have your second child, you have tools, right, so then
it's you do have a book at that point. I mean,
obviously you're having a whole different child with a whole

(50:36):
different set of needs and wants. But ideally, like generally,
like there's some standard things that you know, like hey,
last time I did this, maybe this time I'm not
going to do that.

Speaker 4 (50:45):
I think I've been really.

Speaker 3 (50:49):
Scared and like it's not scared, but like really realizing
the the realness of like having another baby. And I'm like, oh,
like with one, it's one way, and it's been a
certain way with this child.

Speaker 4 (51:03):
You know, we've been alone.

Speaker 3 (51:04):
You know, it's just been a whole different Twenty seven
to ten years later to twenty seven to twenty four
is such a It's like I'm a whole different human
and like considering redoing that, and just like we have
so many friends who just like popped out kids back
to back, but we did it because we were just
like whoa, we just got the hang of this one.
And now considering redoing like doing that again. It's like

(51:27):
a resurgence of I guess, like the second half of adulthood,
the second half of motherhood. And it feels scary. It's like, oh,
my life is changing. And even though as women were
always talking about, like from young girls, we're like we
have a husband and then I'm gonna get a house
and then we're gonna live happy. I'll live every after
and I have three to five kids. But the reality

(51:49):
of that is like, oh my god, this is a
decade later. This is a whole news, Like I know
the I know that, not the darkness, but kind of
the deep, the deepness of having an infant, of pregnancy.
It's far away from me, but like I feel like
a like a like an adolescence, an adolescent in adults

(52:10):
like read dooing a new cycle again and I'm like,
oh wow, this is requiring a different part of me
because I do know better because I have done it
this way, and like how am I going to do
it this way?

Speaker 4 (52:19):
What does this look like? And also just.

Speaker 3 (52:24):
Thinking about aging and not in the like the vain sense,
but like safety finances, like I don't want to work
when I'm sixty five, Like I have to maintain comfortability
and safety for myself and for my child even after
I'm gone, And what does that look like?

Speaker 4 (52:42):
What is what is the four oh one? Kay? What
is the retirement?

Speaker 3 (52:45):
Like those type of thoughts too, are like I in
many ways, I still feel like a young I still
feel like love island age, Like fuck, this is Shit's
getting real, you know, and it's always been real, But
like I it's interesting how we go through these cycles
of adulthood, I mean just of life in general, Like
you know, there's words for it all the way up
into adulthood and then it's like you got it, but

(53:07):
the reality is like I don't got it. And there's
a lot of planning that's required that I wasn't necessarily taught,
So what the fuck? And it's it's scary, And I
think that there should be more conversations around like adult
fear and and like just well.

Speaker 5 (53:24):
I think everyone, I think everything, there's a lot of
conversations around adult fear.

Speaker 3 (53:27):
If you look on Instagram, everyone's scared. I think. I
think that's the problem, is that everyone's scared. Yeah, I
don't have I.

Speaker 5 (53:35):
Don't necessarily have fear around having a baby. I mean
I just have Like I think I just know that's
it's not about the fear. It's just like I'm I'm
not in la la land about it. Like I'm very
clear about like the reality of it. I'm not like
what is it going to.

Speaker 3 (53:50):
Be, Like, oh my god, are you gonna have his face?
I'm like, who's gonna pay these bills? Yeah?

Speaker 5 (53:57):
Yeah, Like like am I gonna have a v am
I gonna be able to have a vback?

Speaker 3 (54:01):
If not, who's going to pay for this C section?

Speaker 5 (54:04):
And like where is the world going to be at
when this baby's born? Like are we going to be
living in ai fucking universe? Or am I be able
to make money as a creator because now there's fake creators,
Like like that's where myne mind goes. It's not necessarily
like whether or not I can be a good parent

(54:24):
or I can do it or if like if like
sha Ken would be a good dad, Like I'm excited
about that idea, but it's just like it's the it's
the worldly things that I feel I think you have
no control worried about, but also like yeah, I just know.
I also know that historically God has looked out for me,

(54:46):
like literally all the time, every day, always, and so
I'm not really too worried about that either. It's just
like if it happens, great, When it happens, I'd like
to have a little bit more. I have control over
right now, and I'm continuing to have control over until

(55:06):
we feel like it's the time, which is not like
I'm not gonna have a baby until I'm married. So yeah,
I'm traditional in that way now now now, because and
that's a learning for me. That's something that I've learned
along the way, Like, don't have a baby with a
nigga that you're kind of broken up with, Like that's
probably not a great idea.

Speaker 3 (55:27):
I don't have a baby with a nigga that you
see a lot of red flags and they're like, this
is probably is going to be an issue now. If
it's an issue now, it's probably gonna be an issue
when I have a baby.

Speaker 5 (55:37):
Yeah, So you know, And I feel like I'm a
lot more. I feel like I feel like I'm a
patient parent, but I feel like I will have even
more patients. And I also feel like I will have
more support literally, like I like will be having a
real person that can actually help me tangibly. So I
do feel like it would be a different experience and

(55:59):
I'm excited about that. But all the other stuff, like, yeah,
I mean, it can be it can be scary. The
world is scary place, The Internet is weird, and I
highly highly recommend everyone unplug from the Internet, Instagram, TikTok,
like do detox is as often as possible, especially right

(56:20):
now because it's dark, it's weird and every time I
specifically Instagram for me, whenever I open it up, it's
a lot of negativity. Like I recently joined TikTok and
I can't believe I'm saying that out loud.

Speaker 3 (56:34):
And when I'm there, it's a lot more cheerful, it's
a lot more happy over on TikTok. And I'm not
even scrolling on TikTok. I'm not even a TikTok scroller.
But like whenever I open the app, it's not like
duty is acquitted on all charges, Like it's not is.

Speaker 4 (56:48):
He quitted in all charges?

Speaker 5 (56:49):
Well, no, he's not quit all charges, but he's basically
going he's not going to serve any time. I don't
think he's not out though, No he's not out, but
I doubt he'll serve time.

Speaker 3 (56:55):
Maybe he'll like do time served already rights.

Speaker 5 (56:58):
Wow, But like that, like that compares along with all
of the all of the politics and the drownings and
just the climates and the love islands and the like.

Speaker 4 (57:11):
It's a lot.

Speaker 5 (57:12):
And so it's just you know, unplug I would say,
if you can, that's my tip of the day.

Speaker 3 (57:19):
This is unplugged from the Internet. That's affirmation unplugged from
the ship. The affirmation is unplug from the Internet.

Speaker 4 (57:31):
Yeah, I think I'm gonna go camping next week. I think,
I mean, I think what I need to utilize.

Speaker 3 (57:36):
I'm realizing that to utilize nature in the place in
which I live, and not just reserve it for me
when I go to the jungle.

Speaker 5 (57:43):
No, And that's what I've been That's why I've said
I've been going to the beach a lot. I live
fucking near the beach. I was like, why am I
not going to the beach more often? I mean, I
knew I hadn't been to Malibu since the fires.

Speaker 4 (57:53):
How is it? Does it feel?

Speaker 5 (57:54):
I didn't go to the like so when you go
over my canyon to the left is where all the
fires were.

Speaker 3 (57:59):
I go to the right.

Speaker 5 (58:00):
And yesterday I can't no. On On Sunday, I went
to Zooma zoom and it was beautiful. Really, it was
so nice.

Speaker 3 (58:08):
The water was blue.

Speaker 5 (58:10):
It was like Zuoma reminds me of my childhood too.
I spent so much of my child I don't know
why everyone was going to Zooma.

Speaker 4 (58:15):
I would as a child too.

Speaker 5 (58:16):
I know, I'm say she came to he was like
this was my beach. I'm like, why was everyone going
to zoom?

Speaker 3 (58:20):
I guess I was a little bit outside of the city,
so the water is supposed to be a little bit better.

Speaker 4 (58:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (58:25):
So anyway, I've been I've been doing that as much
as I can, as much as I can, and it does.

Speaker 3 (58:29):
It feels good. I feel like my transition from Costa
Rica to here has been pretty nice.

Speaker 5 (58:34):
Like it hasn't been. It's like we had those days off.
Iri was at camp. I came back and it's been
like smooth, smooth sailing. Typically it's like coming back in
after a retreat in January and I have I'm in
Q one of our business and I have to get
back plug back in the team is like brand partnership.

(58:54):
So it's a little bit different in the summertime. But
I would encourage you guys, if your kids are out
of school, this is the time to go plug into nature.
Like if you've got to bring your laptop for work and.

Speaker 3 (59:07):
Do a few hours of work, do that. But you
have the opportunity of like a free, open schedule and
open day, take advantage of it.

Speaker 4 (59:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (59:16):
I really just want to live my life in peace
and just do it. Intentionally, so it doesn't feel I
don't want to be on my deathbed and be like, wow,
I was rushing, Where was I going?

Speaker 4 (59:29):
Everything was moving so fast?

Speaker 3 (59:30):
I want to be like I mean, I know, I know,
like we I live such a full life, you know,
like we have such a good friends, We do fun shit.
This is everything that I manifested, you know, so like
being present in that too, and just yeah, like in
just the environment what we live outside of the internet,
outside of that, and just in nature, in this fucking

(59:51):
city that we pay thousands of dollars of taxes for
and rent.

Speaker 4 (59:56):
So just yeah, fucking adult.

Speaker 5 (01:00:00):
Yeah, do that, but then also be disciplined and get
your shit done so that you can do that right,
you know, like make all the coins you can so
that you can fucking retire early. Shrink your life down.
I feel like that's like something I've been thinking about
a lot too. It's like not that like I wouldn't
want to dream big and I don't want to have
like you know, I'm not like shrinking my dreams down.

(01:00:21):
It's more so like my need for things, like I've
I feel like I've gotten to a place where I've
acquired a lot of things that I asked for. But
then it's like I didn't think about the maintaining of
these things, and how unhappy it's made.

Speaker 3 (01:00:33):
It's making me to have to maintain all.

Speaker 5 (01:00:35):
Of these things when like, really like the richness of
life is in the experiences.

Speaker 3 (01:00:40):
The richness of life is like how you live, of.

Speaker 5 (01:00:42):
Course, but like simplicity, Yeah, there's like there's more simplicity
to it, Like and if you if you simplify your
life that you can buy that first class ticket to
Paris because you're not paying seven thousand dollars of rent
back home, you know, So it's like reimagining like what
but like richness looks like in your life? And because

(01:01:04):
I've been thinking about like, yeah, the maintaining of life
and like how are people doing this till they're like sixty,
Like especially in this economy now, it's so much different
than when our parents were our grandparents.

Speaker 3 (01:01:14):
Were alive, Like how are people retiring?

Speaker 5 (01:01:17):
Like honestly and literally and like feeling good about it,
feeling like I can still live how I lived. And
I think it's like when you get older, you actually
just realize you don't need all this shit, and you
just slowly start to simplify your life until you're like
living on a farm in Montana that you bought in

(01:01:37):
your early thirties that you never thought you'd really live
at and it's.

Speaker 3 (01:01:40):
Fine and you're actually better off and you're TechEd away.
So I'm trying to get to that place sooner, yeah
than sixty five to seventy. I do feel like simplicity.
I do feel like, yeah, simple shit, simple, simple, simple.
But I do have things to do while I'm here,
and I love what I do, So yeah, I'm remembering that,

(01:02:04):
you know, like I we get to travel, we get
to make friends, we get to heal, we get to
play in a lot of different like different parts of ourselves.
We get to sit and talk to each other in
our studio and put on makeup and our kids are
in the other room and like barbecue and you know,
like all the fun things that we do in our

(01:02:25):
friend group. And I'm like, I'm grateful for that. I
recognize that this is a gift. We don't have to
go clock in and you know, and there's there's there's
pros and there's cons, But for the most part, this
is what I.

Speaker 4 (01:02:37):
Envisioned in ways talking for a living hanging out with
my friend.

Speaker 3 (01:02:45):
And pull a card. It's a terroot time.

Speaker 4 (01:02:47):
It is terroot time.

Speaker 3 (01:02:48):
Go ahead, okay. Resilience, courage, persistence, test of faith boundaries.
It says, the nine of Wands comes as a sign
that even in the face of adversity, you stand tall

(01:03:11):
and strong. You may be on the edge of exhaustion,
but you are resilient, persistent, and ready to do what
it takes to get to the finish line. This card
may also come when you feel battered and bruised, having
endured significant challenges and struggles along your path. Just when
you think you're making progress, you suffer another setback.

Speaker 4 (01:03:28):
The Nine of Wands.

Speaker 3 (01:03:29):
Asks you to trust that it trusts that this is
merely a test of your grit and resilience, and know
that every time you overcome an obstacle, you're getting stronger.
You have the inner resources necessary to overcome any difficult
any difficulty you encounter, even though it may seem impossible
at the time. See this nine as an assurance that
you will eventually prosper if you maintain your position, and

(01:03:51):
if you do not succeed at first, then try again
and encourage you to keep pushing. You are also close
to the You're so close to the finish line, even
if you want to give up. This is your final
challenge before you reach your goal. So don't let go
of your hopes and dreams when you are so close
to making them a reality. Stand firm in the face
of your challenges, and you will achieve your goal. Others

(01:04:12):
may try to oppose your plans, make things difficult for you,
or even attack you for what you're putting out into
the world. Often they do it because they're jealous of
your success or rare, or are projecting their own insecurities
and fears on you. Don't let them get to you.
You're a change maker and you have a vital message
to share in this world. Don't dim your light because
of others insecurities. Okay, it doesn't look as sad as

(01:04:33):
he is. You're almost there. Just like we said, just
keep going, Just keep going. Does that resonate with you?
I don't feel battered and bruised, but yeah, I do
feel like there's like a push right now for completion and.

Speaker 5 (01:04:58):
Knowing that there's more that I want to expand upon
even in this space that I haven't really had the
opportunity to, and that I wanted to. I wanted to
feel good, I wanted to feel in play. But I
also know that there's like a level of like focus
that it requires, So I guess I resonate with that.

Speaker 3 (01:05:20):
Yeah, I definitely feel like there's a shift happening, like
there's I mean, I guess there's shit is always changing.

Speaker 4 (01:05:26):
Change is the one thing that's consistent.

Speaker 3 (01:05:28):
But yeah, in my I guess maybe because I just
had a birthday and just where we're at in the world,
but I do think there's like an awakening and a
shifting happening and it's like a transitional time.

Speaker 4 (01:05:40):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:05:41):
Sure, can you guys write in and give us hories
I need, we need your horse stories.

Speaker 5 (01:05:45):
Riding your horries. If you have any hories, make sure
you write them in. Well, actually, there's a link that
will put in this episode description where.

Speaker 3 (01:05:50):
You can write in your hories.

Speaker 5 (01:05:51):
You can write in your bad choices of the week.
Make sure you join our Facebook group. We have a
retreat coming up you guys at the end of the month.
We have a few more spots left. If you miss
the sale for a memorial Memorial Day, whatever the fucking
stupid ass to day that it was, and you want
to escape with us. We've extended the discount code, so
if you still want to use it, you can get

(01:06:12):
eight hundred dollars off your trip when you use code escape.
If you're like, fuck, I need a summer trip, I
don't know where to go.

Speaker 3 (01:06:17):
Stop waiting for your friends.

Speaker 5 (01:06:18):
Fuck those bitches and come hang out with us and
find a new tribe of bitches to hang out with.
It's going to be in Costa Rica July thirty first
through August fifth. We also have August eighth through the thirteenth.
We have a few solo rooms left. We have a
few shared rooms left, so if you do want to
come with your homegirl, you can come, or if you
want to share a room with a new homegirl, that's
great too.

Speaker 3 (01:06:39):
If you're thinking this is very last minute and I
am not going to be able to leave next week,
you can because we've extended payments so you don't have
to have it all paid by the thirty first. I
realized that's in two weeks, but if you need a
little more time, you have the option to do that.
You can also get your friends and your family to
contribute to your trip because there's a link for that,

(01:07:00):
so utilize your tribe and your family. If you got
a birthday coming up, let them know that's what you
want for your birthday. But don't make excuses. Invest in
your rest, invest in doing something different, like when you
step outside of the box. Beautiful things happen when you
say yes. And a lot of people are like, I
wouldn't go on no trip, But no, bitches, I don't know.
I've done it fifteen times and it's literally so much

(01:07:23):
fun to meet new people and going on an adventure
of you know, just the unknown and let somebody else
plan everything for you. You don't have to do shit,
you don't have to think about meals, you don't have
to think about transportation, you want to think about activities.
It's all provided for you. And that's the type of
vacation I want to have.

Speaker 5 (01:07:39):
And you know, I think, like we used to post
testimonials of the women from the retreat. If you go
back in our episodes, you can listen to a few testimonials.
But maybe we'll just share a testimonial at the end
of this episode, just so you understand from someone else
that has fully experienced this retreat what it does is
all about. Because I think some people are like, what's

(01:08:00):
going on there? What's happening. It's kind of hard, it's
like hard to explain. You kind of like got to
be there to get it. But we have some really
beautiful testimonials from people that have come. If you go
and check out our retreat site, we have five star reviews,
five stars from all of our attendees. So don't take
it from us, Take it from the other people that

(01:08:21):
have come. Take it from the women whose lives have
changed after this retreat, whose partners have now come to
our retreat and the couple's retreat because their partners saw
the transformation in their women, and we're like, fuck that
we need to go to.

Speaker 3 (01:08:35):
Anyway. I hope that I see you guys in Costa Rica,
because I'll be there and you should too. I'll definitely
be there. And if we're there and you're on the
stories and you're seeing us living our best lives, you're
gonna be mad you didn't just.

Speaker 5 (01:08:47):
Especially because you didn't even have to pay for it
all at one time. Girl, Come on, yeah, don't make excuses.
Treat yourself, don't cheat yourself.

Speaker 3 (01:08:56):
Anyway. You can follow me at watch Erica. You can
follow me on TikTok At. Watch Erica Cole and make
sure you follow Mela Mila Underscore, map and rate and
review this episode. Go subscribe on YouTube and share us
with your friends. Share us with any moms, upcoming moms,

(01:09:19):
upcoming mom, upcoming moms, mom or mo or current moms,
or people that are thinking about having babies, or just
women in general. Spread the words bread, the good mom
love and the message. We really rely on our tribe
to spread the word about good mom's bad choices. That's
really genuinely how our show became successful was because of
you guys, because of you guys sharing us, and we

(01:09:39):
really appreciate that.

Speaker 4 (01:09:40):
So keep it going.

Speaker 3 (01:09:42):
Yes, that is your gift to us. We come here
and we talk once a week, and.

Speaker 1 (01:09:47):
You know.

Speaker 3 (01:09:49):
It doesn't see it's pretty often. So do us a favor,
write a review, tell a friend. If you have any mom,
any upcoming moms, give them a Good Mom's Guide to
making Bad Choices. Because this it's the book for the
moms to be and the moms who are already momming
and maybe haven't read it yet. So Amazon, no Okay,

(01:10:11):
or a black bookstore. Malik anyway, we love you and
we'll see you next week.

Speaker 4 (01:10:17):
Bye please.

Speaker 2 (01:10:20):
Yeah, I'm living so good. Can't you tell I went
through a drought. That's until I find out, well, may my.

Speaker 3 (01:10:25):
Have been known?

Speaker 2 (01:10:26):
Earth that used to be broken tail now got the
blues in to like Beyonce Jasell throat shot or the
Pop and his Cow wearing our voices. Patriarchy kept it
in the box to exploit its women put the pee
and powers.

Speaker 3 (01:10:37):
So what's pointless?

Speaker 2 (01:10:38):
They want me to be good?

Speaker 1 (01:10:39):
So I made bad choices.

Speaker 3 (01:10:41):
Bad mom, not a bad mom.

Speaker 4 (01:10:42):
But a bad mom. Ititter's in on, put cannabis in
their bath.

Speaker 2 (01:10:46):
Bon walked in Bostons cap and I blew his cat
ball tied dog. Now I'm immune to the cat called Herbie,
and no waisted straight to it like a dollar sign. Mother,
rent the lover when too, It's like a water sign
where you're rent the winter essential will win the summertime.

Speaker 4 (01:10:59):
I do at all. Ain't no one that needs to
run it by

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Erica Dickerson

Jamilah Mapp

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