Heal Your Mom Heal The World

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Once upon a time there was a good old traditional housewife,
and she couldn't. She cleaned and cared for her children
and the man of the house, and of course she
didn't talk back. She was both obedient and soft by nature.
She was a good woman who always made good choices.

Speaker 2 (00:17):
We're good Mom's bad choices. Two single mom who said
fuck the patriarchy, shared all their bad choices and sound
out they were so bad. After all, we're experts.

Speaker 3 (00:24):
Overshares and your new besties.

Speaker 4 (00:26):
Sit back and enjoy the ride.

Speaker 2 (00:28):
I can do it.

Speaker 4 (00:32):
Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices.

Speaker 3 (00:34):
I'm Erica and I'm Mila.

Speaker 4 (00:36):
Happy hop Day, bitches.

Speaker 2 (00:39):
Happy Wednesday, y'all? What to do? It's the last Wednesday
of August and then we're in our last quarter of
the year.

Speaker 4 (00:46):
How are you feeling? I feel good. I'm looking forward
to fall. It's been hot as fuck all summer. Hot
here hot in Costa Rica. Got back, there's a heat wave,
and yeah, I know, mommy needs a motherfucking break, because

(01:06):
mom has been mommy all mother fucking summer. Besides, when
Iri went to summer camp and maybe went on a
short trip with her dad, I've pretty much had iri
all summer and I'm obsessed with my child. I want
nothing more than to be with her all the time, truly,
But then also I know when I need. I'm getting
to the point where it's like I know that I

(01:27):
need a little bit of a break just to be
Erica for a second. And maybe school year will help
with that.

Speaker 2 (01:37):
I mean, it certainly will, because we have that guaranteed,
you know, eight to ten hours, five days a week,
which is.

Speaker 4 (01:45):
A blessing, I know. But you know what, when it
is the school year, those eight to ten hours for
like four hours maybe like yeah, it's like you drop
them off and then you're like back there.

Speaker 3 (01:56):
It's true. I'm always like it's over already.

Speaker 2 (01:59):
What the fuck?

Speaker 4 (02:02):
I don't know. I'm like, whatever that thing is. It's
like making summer days shorter or spending on its access
at a maximum speed. This year, I needed to do
the reverse during the during the fall.

Speaker 2 (02:15):
It does.

Speaker 3 (02:16):
I mean, this summer went by really fast.

Speaker 2 (02:18):
I know, we traveled a lot, and so it was
like back to back trips, which kind of sped it
up a lot.

Speaker 3 (02:24):
But and also like doing.

Speaker 2 (02:28):
A retreat while the kids are in Costa Rica, it
hits different there's a level of like it's like mom
times one hundred, because you're caring for people, you're caring
for your kid. There's no time off, even the days
where we're like on I mean we're on property the
whole time, but like the days when we're done with

(02:50):
the retreat, the kids are like bride eyed and bushy
tailed and like, let's watch a movie, you know, and
you're like, yeah, twenty four to nine momming. So yeah,
and your mom was on this retreat. So that's even
a different level of care. How is that?

Speaker 4 (03:09):
What are you telling? It was good? It was good,
but I am I'm tired. I feel like I feel
like between the three retreats we did this summer, because
we did three couples retreat, two women's retreat, and I
feel like I retreated my mom after the retreat, a

(03:31):
bitch is fucking burnt out. My healing powers or need
to be recharged. Okay, I need to fucking I need
a healing like plug in activator, not plug in. I
feel like the magic from my fingertips like it's like
it's like they're starting to like sizzles. So all the
reiki I did and all the fucking but short.

Speaker 2 (03:53):
There's a short you need to plug short.

Speaker 4 (03:55):
It just like, yeah, I really need a healer, starter pack,
charging power or something. It was good I realized between well,
yesterday is really when I realized this. Well, actually I
know this about myself, but it was it was reactivated yesterday.
We had a barbecue at my mom's house. But going
back to your question about how I was my mom

(04:16):
at the retreat, my whole goal was today not have expectations,
be not let my mommy pleasing take over. And I
did a pretty good job. But obviously it's not about pleasing,
because I think we want to take care of our mothers.
I want to make we want to make sure our
mothers are comfortable. But for me, it's deeper than that.

(04:39):
It's like I want to make my mom proud. I
want to make sure like she understands why I love
this place so much. I want her to like see
me as like in this space that I'm in, and
like respect it and respect me. I want her to
talk to the group, you know, I want her to
integrate because I know she needs it too, Like I
know that she needs it, and I think like coming

(05:00):
on this her coming on this experience allowed me to
kind of be in that role of caretaker for her,
and I knew I was taking on that role and
I was happy to do it, and I'm happy to
do it, but I'm tired. I'm tired, you know. Like
I realized in this retreat space too. With my mom,
it's like like our moms are just girls, you know,

(05:22):
and like baby girls. Yeah, specific and there were like
moments that, you know, I thought that she would be
able to engage better. Specifically in one moment moment in
our workshop, we have an eye gazing moment, and I
was really surprised at how challenging that was for her

(05:44):
with me, you know. And then I also realized that
I've probably never stared at my mom in her eyes
for more than maybe ten seconds. So we're asking, you know,
the ladies to stare in their paired partner's eyes for
sixty seconds, which is not even that long. But when

(06:06):
I was there with her, because I paired myself with her,
I was like, I've done this so many times that
I like the gazing. I love it, you know, and
so I was ready. I was like, oh my god,
finally I get to daze in my mom's ass, and
you know, it was emotional for me, not like I

(06:27):
started crying and she was like, why are you crying?
And I was like, because I love you? What the fuck?
And I could just see how challenging it was for
her to remain like keep engaged with me, Like she
kept kind of looking away, and It's like, wow, Like,
not only I do this work with women, but like
I realized how much work our parents need need as

(06:51):
well from us. And I was thinking about that too. Actually,
we had we have follow up calls with our attendees
after the retreat to check in, and one of them,
she's a therapist, so she was like therapizing me. I'm like, bitch,
I'm I'm supposed to check it with you. She was like,
how was your mom? How did it feel with having
your mom? This was like Ruth from week one, So
my mom came week two and yeah, I mean I

(07:16):
think it was. It was really interesting to see the
places where my mom I think has never got the
chance to really expand in there, never got the chance
to really even sit in and enjoy. Like I was thinking,
like probably the last time I stared at my mom
for sixty seconds was like when I was a baby
like looking up at her and her looking at me,

(07:38):
and there's like no nothing, there's it's just a blank slate,
you know. And now this is not a blank slate.
This is thirty seven years of raising me and all
types of shit. And yeah, it was. It was beautiful.
What I was going to say is like I realized
this work is so important for mother daughters, Like I

(07:59):
really I'm excited for you to have your mom come
on the retreat one day and so that you under
you can like experience this too and see like the
like the places where you see your mom is just
a girl, Like damn, you're like a little girl right here.
And it was it was a lot emotionally. I think
I'm still processing. I feel like I'm gonna cry right now.

(08:19):
Like I think I'm still processing it.

Speaker 2 (08:23):
It's a lot. And and you know, I realize, I
mean just by observing you in the thing, like I
know that it was a big deal for her to come.
I mean, I can only imagine it's a very intimate
space and we do it all the time, but to
have your mom there, it's like a level of intimacy
that sometimes it's easier to be intimate with people that
you don't know, and it's really interesting to see how

(08:46):
stagnant and how challenging it is even in this work
to do it with people that are close to us.
And I mean, like we always say this, and I'm
happy that we set the bar this way. Is like, yes,
we're facilitating, but I wouldn't say that we are masters
at this. You know, we're often experiencing the retreat. We're
every time we're experiencing the retreat as we're facilitating it,

(09:08):
and we're expanding and we're growing. And you know, even
sometimes me and Erica as like as me and you
will have issues, not even issues. It's easier to facilitate
the medicine than sometimes taking it.

Speaker 3 (09:20):
And so it's true, there's.

Speaker 2 (09:22):
Always going to be there's all like, especially when you
step into this space, like spirit is always going to
invite you to expand more and more and more and more,
and it's hard because you're like, fuck, I have an
idente enough And I thought about that a lot while
I was there, like how would my mom be in
this space? How would I be in this space? And
you know, I'm really grateful. I think my mom has

(09:44):
done a lot of work in the last two years
that you know, I have to acknowledge, you know, and
I'm sure there's more work to do, like we're all
still growing. So I'm really excited to get her there.
But it's also interesting observing your mom in this space
because I can also see her, you know, obviously she's
your mom, but I also see her like when i'm
you know, obviously when we have groups, we're observing the

(10:05):
group too. We're observing how people are opening up, if
they're taking the medicine, if they're like open to it,
if they're more closed off. And I saw too, And
it's interesting to be best friends with you and spend
this much time with you. Obviously, I've never been on
a trip with your mom or you guys together, so
it's it is. It was interesting to observe her in
the space because there's parts of her that I can

(10:26):
There's that I can see parts of you more clearly
because I'm just seeing her in a closed space and
an intimate space. And you know, I was facilitating that
that portion when you guys were holding hands and you know,
leaning in because everybody's blindfolded, so I can like listen
to answers and like oversee it, and I can see
too where she was like a little bit resistant, a

(10:49):
little bit like not closed off, but guarded. And I
think that's normal. You know a lot of people come
that way. I'm that way and in certain situations, so
I understand it. But to see her, I mean, probably
in her mind it's like not put on the spot,
but kind of because you're here now and I'm staring
in your eyes, mom, and I'm asking you deep in

(11:11):
personal questions and we're getting deep. And I think that we,
like our parents come from a generation that that was
the norm.

Speaker 3 (11:18):
Their parents didn't do it with them.

Speaker 2 (11:20):
There's no like they're like, okay, all right, that's enough
deep shit, like let's carry on, you know. And so
we both come from families that way in a certain capacity,
and we are doing work and initiating a type of
work that is not necessarily the norm. And sometimes, like
I think, parents will try to make you feel crazy,

(11:40):
like you're so cheesy and like woo woo, so that
it's another form of avoiding deepening the intimacy and deepening
the connection. And so it was interesting to see her
like slowly drop down into it and you know, just
be in the space and observe it and like just
kind of get into it without out having this idea

(12:02):
of whatever she thought was happening prior to actually experiencing it.

Speaker 4 (12:08):
It's funny because you might wanna blow your nose, baby.

Speaker 2 (12:11):
It's a lot of oh sorry, I'm sick hold on.

Speaker 4 (12:21):
Being with her there. Yes, I figured I've been to
ask you this, like do you get how I am
why I am the way I am now? Because you
haven't really spent a lot of time with my mom.
You've just heard me talk about her. You've gotten glimpses

(12:41):
of her, like you know here and there throughout you know,
our friendship together. But I had that thought at the
retreat because like my mom is like you know, she's
she's a very she's observant. But like what I've gotten
from my mom to well, it's it's a bit of both.
My mom's judgmental period, Like she'll never admit it, but
she is, and I'm a bit judgmental for sure, I

(13:02):
can be in some ways. And the thing about her
is that very rarely does she change her mind, you know,
Like I feel like with me, I'm open, Like I'm
open to my mind changing, you know, Like I've said, oh,
I was wrong about that person, or like, you know,

(13:24):
I'm willing to like check in with myself and do that,
whereas my mom is not. There's a stubbornness in her
and when she makes her mind up about something, it
is what it is, you know. And I think like
the retreat was challenging for me because again, like I

(13:44):
was trying to work through my mommy pleasing and while
also like taking care of a lot of other women
and also for two weeks and then you know, taking
care of my daughter and then after the retreat taking
care of her as well, because my mom is going
through some shit and it's like it was heavy the
whole retreat. There was shit going I was like literally
asking God, like why God, what is going on? Why

(14:05):
are you throwing all these obstacles at my mom at
this moment where like I've prayed for this moment for
her to come here and be able to like rest here,
and there's all this shit happening back home. My Grandma's
in the hospital like so much, so many things that
like are pulling at her away from being present here,
and like she pushed through and I took the reins

(14:28):
a lot literally too. I took her phone one day
I took. I deleted Instagram off of her phone for
the entire trip. I downloaded Spotify and like downloaded a
bunch of playlists so that she didn't need to be
I put her phone on airplane modes that she didn't
need to actually like she my mom is a doom scroller.
I just realized that even our parents of a different

(14:51):
generation who didn't grow up on the phones are severely
addicted to these phones. And it's become like a distress
for whatever, I mean for all of us, but like
for whatever is happening in our lives, we just distract
ourselves and also like start like judging ourselves based on
whatever we're looking at on the internet and connected to

(15:12):
our email. Like my mom has a lot of like
fear around like not being present in her business and
like dismissing something and everything's going to fall apart, you know.
And it was really hard for me to watch her.
And she was dealing with severe back problems the whole time,
so it was like weighing on me. And I like,
I'm I'm such an EmPATH and I like never thought

(15:36):
that I was, And I don't like it's like it's
like getting to the point like now where it's like
I don't even know how to deal with it sometimes
because I didn't. I don't know if like my empathy
like has just begun to expand as I get older,
whereas before, like I was able to like compartmentalize things
where I can't anymore, and like I'm deeply affected by

(16:00):
like energies. So I'm like, I have a lot of
protective practices, and I talk about this with the ladies
at the retreat, but like no one can prepare you
for like the protective practice of your parent, you know,
Like it's it's like an emotional like umbelical cord that
can't be like undone. And I'm like at work, and

(16:25):
so it was. It was good, but it was heavy
for me a lot. And I want I wish I
want to do it again. I wish that she would
come again, maybe in a different moment in her life
where like she can actually really surrender to the experience

(16:48):
like physically, like when her body feels better and just
like when she feels more at peace with where she's
at in her life, Like I not that, like I
know that people come to the retreat for that reason.
But I think because she's never given herself a break
in that way, and she's never done any type of

(17:10):
work like this truly, which is so interesting to me
because the reason why I'm into the woo woo shit
is because of that woman. Like growing up, she had
me on astrologizone dot com. She's the one who was
like all up in my horoscope. She was the one
who was like meeting with readers and spiritualists, and she
was the one who was nate but ass naked in

(17:32):
my house all the time. And like it's almost like
she's forgotten that piece of her, like she's become very
cynical and like scared. I think.

Speaker 2 (17:46):
I mean, there's all there's always like there's you know,
even us for people who are not our parent or
not a family member.

Speaker 3 (17:56):
There are people who come.

Speaker 2 (17:57):
In the retreat more than once, and we literally see
too totally different versions of them, Like I'm thinking of
Ashley right now, like shout out to Ashley and New York.
She knows who she is and she's been on more
than one retreat and like the person we saw the
first time, obviously there was a level of evolution to
the last day. But when I saw her again the
following year, or maybe it was that summer wholl night

(18:17):
and day like she and so I realized in this
work is like everyone is coming at showing up a
different different different places, and so if you haven't really
even considered opening up and what that means to your
nervous system, and like, yeah, it's like the it begins
with the Ashtro cafe and the readers, because that's fun.

(18:40):
But like the commitment to getting into the spiritual part
of self and to the emotional work is something different.
And I also, you know, considering like seeing you with
your mom, and then also even your grandmother, who I
spend even less time with, but I know she's around.
Considering how your mom is raised by your grandmother and

(19:03):
how that's affected her, and how you know, like just
visually seeing and observing the things that we take from
our parents. And you know earlier we like when we
were just recording and we had to start over her
because of technology. You said, it's interesting, you said, like,
I'm not a people pleaser, but I do always want
to please my mom. And I'm like that's interesting, like

(19:24):
to not have because I'm someone who's had people pleasing tendencies,
And I think it's because growing up I needed attention
that I didn't get, Like there was a level of oh,
she's all right, you know, because I am like I
was self sufficient or I had to be, so there
was like pay maybe a people pleasing to like pay,
like look at me. So I'm wondering, like, where do
you think the like the like the need for validation

(19:47):
from your mom comes from so strongly, whereas outside people
you're just like, eh, I could get I could care less,
you know what I mean. Like that's I think I
think I felt like most people have that need for
validation from their parents, but I don't. I don't really
like I'm really big on like I'm gonna do what
I want to do whether you criticize me or not
from my parents. And I think that's the rebellious part

(20:09):
of me, probably because I was probably neglected a little bit.
So I'm wondering, like what do you think that is?
Because I think that is probably something that you are
being asked to explore in a part of Like you know,
I'm sure that that came up while you were there,
and it's like, okay, well what is it in my
in my childhood that made me feel that I needed
to like really hear this from her. Is it that

(20:31):
maybe she didn't say that to you growing up, or
like did did like did that come through it all
being in this intimate space with her on the retreat.

Speaker 4 (20:43):
Yeah, I'm definitely, like I think I'm still exploring her.
But I think some of it comes from her being
my only parent. Really, you know, I didn't have both
parents in the house. She's my primary parent. She's always
been my primary parent. Obviously, me and my dad have
relationship now, but it's more like my homie than like

(21:03):
a parental person. So I think, like there's I think
as children, we want to please our parents, like we're like, Mommy,
look at me, like look at this cartwheel, look at this,
look at that, look at this, And perhaps I didn't
get enough attention. I don't know. I mean, I don't
recall that feeling growing up, but I do know that
my mom was working a lot, so perhaps it was

(21:26):
like internalized in me and paired with the criticalness that
I experienced as a child, Like my grandmother so critical
of my mother, so critical of everything everyone my mom
always said, like my mom, my grandmother barely told her,
she loved her, like she showed her love through cooking
and like making their clothes. Like my and my grandmother

(21:49):
cared so deeply about what people thought about her children
still now cares so deeply what people think about every
little thing. And that's translated to my mother and it's
not as severe, just like it's translated to me in
ways like it's lightened and enlightened and enlightened, but it's
still there even in me. And I think, like being
young and wanting to be I think, you know, I

(22:13):
wanted I wanted I start acting really young, and I
wanted to be in this entertainment industry that my mom
was already in as a makeup artist. And that probably
made the criticalness seem it made her critique me, but
for a purpose, right, you say you want to do
this thing, so then you need to do this and this.

(22:34):
So like at a very young age, I was hyper
aware of like, okay, liked did I say thank you?
Did I like? My mom even does this now? Did
you say thank you? I'm like, Mom, I'm fucking almost
forty years old. I don't need you to tell me
ask if I said thank you? Okay, So I see
her do it with my brother. I see her do
with my family. I see how annoyed everybody gets with her,

(22:54):
and she's so confused, like doesn't understand why people are annoyed,
and you know, but I know that it comes from
a good place, and I know that a lot of
it comes from from my grandmother. So I think like
there's just wanting her to, I guess be proud of
me in ways. And it's not like she hasn't said
she's proud of me, but it's like there's always like

(23:18):
this little tinge of something there that I can't put
my finger on that makes me feel like it's not
quite right, you know, like almost got it right. And
that's how I've I've felt like most of my life
with her, and so I've always been highly I've been

(23:39):
highly critical of myself. I've been like very self conscious
about my body, but like no one would ever know that.
I never like let on like I mean, I've done
a lot of work now, but like I don't really
let people into that those insecurities into me. It's like
all internal. Because I've also watched my mom be very
critical of herself and still on this trip. The amount

(24:02):
of negative self talk that I was fighting against with
her all day was fucking exhausting. I'm not even gonna lie.
I was like at one point, I was like, you
gotta stop, Like you have got to fucking stop, Like
like I don't you know? So I think I think
it did?

Speaker 2 (24:22):
Did she? Did she hear you? Did she?

Speaker 1 (24:23):
Oh?

Speaker 4 (24:24):
And she's and and I've done this with her too
as a kid too, Like I remember being a teenager
like mom, like, stop talking about so bad about your body,
Like what do you think that does for me? Like
how do you think that makes me feel? And she
I'm sorry, But then she'd write back on it like
it's like a habit. She can't help it, you know,
And like she's a libra so like her whole like
her whole world is about making things beautiful, like leaving

(24:47):
things better than she left them. Like libras just love
beauty and making things beautiful and pretty, and they can
like see the but see like you know, the the
ugly duckling and like how they can make her. You know,
that's why she's a fucking makeup artist. That's why she's
a brand founder in beauty. Like I get it, she's
but like with me, it was like detrimental, and so

(25:10):
I think, like I've spent a lot of time. It's
funny though, because I know you said like with your parents,
like you don't really give a fuck whatever. I give
a fuck, but I still do what I want, Like
I still, I still I was the rebellious child. It's
like I'm a mom pleaser, but I still did what
I want wanted, but I was like a rebel with anxiety.
That's what I called myself. Like I would do it,

(25:31):
but then I'd.

Speaker 2 (25:32):
Be like, I mean, I think I think we all
crave our parents' validation. We all want to be told
that they're proud of us, you know, like we come
from these people. That is inevitable. I think. I yeah,
I think with my parents. I think my mom. One
thing she would do to me was like I would
tell her something and then she's like maybe. She'd be
telling the story and be like, well, supposedly, da da

(25:53):
da dah, and I'd be like, why are you saying supposedly.
She's like what supposedly. I'm like, I just fucking said it.
It's not supposedly, it's a fact. And it was like
almost like a doubt. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was like
that really bothered me. And uh so, I don't know,
it's just it's all you know what now specifically right

(26:15):
now and this like week and this, and like like
I'm recognizing how like when we decide to do the work,
you know, they always say like it heals seven generations
behind you and seven generations ahead of you, and and
I believe that. And I just see not the stark
difference between like your mom or my mom or whatever,
but I see this, like how the shifts happen. And

(26:37):
because I've only known my grandmother, we can only go
so far up the family tree. I can see, you know,
how certain experiences and certain things like you know, register
with each child. And it's so interesting to me how
we're you know, how we interpret them and translate them
and hold on to them and like play they play

(26:58):
out in our adulthood.

Speaker 3 (26:59):
And it's a big deal.

Speaker 2 (27:01):
And I know, like all the fucking woo woo healer
light work shit is always like heal the inner child,
do the shadow work. But that inner child shit is
so mother fucking real.

Speaker 3 (27:15):
And it's so.

Speaker 2 (27:17):
I think right now, it's like it's just very clear
if you are not in communication with that version of you.
And when I say communication, like even just taking the
moment to sit back and you know, go through the
files of childhood and to observe and sit with and
you know, just observe how they've affected you, like you're

(27:40):
going to miss a lot of shit, and even like
this week, and it's so interesting that we're having this
conversation because this week specifically, you know, Orlando started a
new job and me and him had like two separate,
like uh disagreements, and I can't even really fucking think
of it is at this very moment. It was like

(28:01):
how I was talking to him, and for him it
was something like some trust thing that came up that
came up for me and it was like back to
back on two different days. But in resolving it, there
was a point where I was crying so hard and
I was like, this is not about this. This is
about some shit my dad did. This is like this

(28:23):
is different than whatever.

Speaker 3 (28:24):
I'm like, this is not that.

Speaker 2 (28:26):
And same he had some issues with me about how
I was talking to him, and I was just like
I didn't feel like it was that crazy, and he
was like you and he started like talking to me
and saying, like my mom talked to me and like
said these things things to me, and I didn't deserve it.
And I could see like this was stemming from something else,
you know, and I realized that, you know, being in

(28:47):
a healthy relationship. And when I say healthy, I just
mean two adults that are choosing to be aware and
compassionate and empathetic and like. And when you're in a
healthy relationship, you recognize that every relationship that we have
in adulthood is going to trigger you, because that is
the point when you feel safe with someone, when you
have close relationships with someone, even in friendship, people are

(29:10):
going to trigger you because there's a lesson there that
you're supposed to in a wound that you're supposed to heal,
but you have to be able to look at it
and you have to be able to follow the string
all the way back to the root of the wound.
And if you're unable to do that, if you're unable
to sit in the discomfort of that, then you're never
going to get to it. And like, being in this
relationship that's healthy, that's safe. Not to say we don't argue,

(29:31):
obviously we do, we're human, but to be able to
be clear enough to be like, oh, in this moment,
I was not being empathetic to his experience or to
your experience, your childhood experience, knowing that you had an
abusive mom, knowing that you had a neglectfule mom, knowing
that you had a highly critical mom, or whatever. The
thing is, Like, you know, in close relationships, you have

(29:53):
to go in when you love someone, even understanding that
lens and also understanding that about yourself. And like the
thing we got into it about was trust. And I realize, like,
I don't trust men because I don't really trust my
dad and he's always been in my life. My parents
have been married my whole life, but my dad has
always been like a chronic cheater and would ask me

(30:18):
lie about it, and like since I was a kid,
this is the conversation that I heard. But my mom
is fairly extremely insecure and extremely violent about it instead
of just leaving. But it came up with me in Orlando,
and I was just completely totally offended and like thinking
the worst, and he's like, well, why don't you trust me?
And it was just like a back and forth. But
I realized, like in close relationships, a part of our

(30:41):
responsibility is to soothe. I'm sorry, this is not what
I meant by that, Like we're going to ask our
partners or our friends to in ways soothe wounds.

Speaker 3 (30:52):
That they did not even create.

Speaker 2 (30:54):
And it's interesting, Like I was like wondering this week,
I'm like, what the fuck is in the stars that
this is like all of these childhood things are erupting.

Speaker 3 (31:03):
But I just realized that, like, a lot of the
things that we find.

Speaker 2 (31:06):
Take issue with in adulthood are generally things that started
deeply a long time ago, and that now we have
the you know, we have the time and the space
and the tools hopefully to address them. But if we're
not thinking that way, then it's very hard to do that.

Speaker 4 (31:22):
Yeah. No, it's true. It's true. And I you know,
it's like I have this unique opportunity because I do
I have a relationship with my mom, because I do
think like when you're healing your inner child, like wouldn't
it be great if you could hear your inner child
alongside your parent who was there for your childhood. And
obviously that's not like the circumstances for a lot of people,

(31:43):
like you have to do the work alone. And and
even if you have a parent like you still have
to You probably still have to do a lot of
the work alone because your parent is probably not going
to acknowledge certain things that happen because that wasn't their
experience of the situation. And I had that. I had
that come up for me actually at the retreat when
we were in workshop and we asked the question, like,

(32:05):
what about you feels hardest to love? And I said
my sensitivity and she said, yeah, you were really you
were really sensitive as a kid, super sensitive. I didn't, like,
I didn't understand like why you would get upset about
certain things, and it felt dismissive again, and I was like,

(32:26):
what the fuck, Like I'm here telling you what you
know and I but again I'm like, okay, well, like
you know, that's her experience. Her experience is she didn't
understand at age whatever, thirty years old, why her seven
year old was offended or like why my feelings were
hurt because she's dealing with trying to fucking pay the rent,

(32:46):
trying to get this done, trying to da da da,
you're crying about what, Like, I don't got time for that.
But for me, it was like the end of the world,
you know, And for me, it was like the deep
and it probably still is in my body now. But
it's like you kind of have to just accept certain
things that like your parents are, you know, they're not
going to relate to certain experiences that you've had as

(33:07):
a child. They're not like even like I realized my
mom has a hard time with affection, which I didn't
even realize until the retreat, because I really when I
was young, I think I got a lot of affection
from her. But then at some point in my teenage
years when I started rebelling against her and I didn't
want anything to do with her, especially touched me. We
never reverted back. We never got back to that. And

(33:30):
I thought I was thinking, like, how many people have
that shared experience, Like there's this break in your relationship
with your parent, usually around your teens, and then you
never recover from that, You never go back to the
loving like mother, daughter, father, da whatever dynamic because how.

Speaker 2 (33:48):
Well, well then you chop it up to like pubescence
and prebretty and like that's weird and and you know,
and like on the mom shit too.

Speaker 3 (33:56):
It's like your mom.

Speaker 2 (33:58):
Probably had to develop pretty things skin pretty young, so
she's thinking about Tani and how she probably talked to
her and then thinking when you're like thirteen or thirty,
you're acting soft.

Speaker 3 (34:09):
She's like, what the fuck are you talking about?

Speaker 2 (34:11):
You know, like there's there's there's no association to it,
because she's probably built that skin up really young as
a form of defense, you know what I mean, And
so it's hard for her to see that in you
and hard to connect to that part because she's in
ways protected herself from words, and so she's like, why
are you being so sensitive? You know what I mean?
And so like, yeah, it is your it's fucked up.

(34:33):
But a part of this work is like it's your
job to revert that and be like, it's okay to
have feelings. It's okay mom to feel you know, it's
okay to touch, and it's it feels heavy because it's like,
why the fuck is this my responsibility as the child?
But this is about this is a part of the
reason we choose our parents and like they you know,
and like we, like the universe, chooses each other because

(34:55):
there are lessons for each other that we're here to learn.
And like I remember being in high school and like
fucking not wanting my mom to touch me like I
don't want to want to slide past you in the
like the hallway and like that's crazy.

Speaker 3 (35:10):
But now even as us in a.

Speaker 2 (35:13):
Good place, like it does feel difficult for me to
feel like super affectionate, and I feel ashamed to say that,
you know, like maybe it didn't like I didn't make
an effort to ever go back to that place after
I wrote it off in high school. And now I'm
having to be an adult and except that she's human

(35:35):
and that she is capable of change, even if it
is at fifty eight or fifty nine years old, and
I have to also commit to changing the way I
see her and the way I interact with her, just
for the like love, you know, Like there's times I've.

Speaker 3 (35:48):
Slept over her house.

Speaker 2 (35:49):
She's like, sleep in the bed with me, and I'm like, nah,
you know what I mean, Like it doesn't feel comfortable
for me. And that's that I think now as a mom,
it hurts to admit that because I would hate I
don't care how old Luna is for her to you know,
to even to to reject me in that way.

Speaker 3 (36:07):
And it is important that we have.

Speaker 2 (36:09):
This conversation now, right before this teenage time that we're
about to get into with them as they are approaching eleven,
that I'm really conscious of like keeping the affection up
even through those changes, because you're right, like we don't
discuss the water under the bridge of parental relationships because

(36:32):
in like romantic relationships, when there's water, too much water
under the bridge, yea, you break up.

Speaker 3 (36:38):
I'm over it.

Speaker 4 (36:39):
Yeah you're dead, You're done.

Speaker 2 (36:41):
But but you know you can't break up.

Speaker 4 (36:44):
I mean you can, people do it, but you know,
usually it's if it's not severe enough, you're not usually
not going to do that. And like you know, in
my case, it's it's never been It's never been like that,
you know. I mean, my mom have had a good relationship,
but is it the closest has it always been the closest? Know,
I think over the last few years we've gotten really close.
I definitely feel like the roles shifting, and I'm I

(37:07):
think it's my I think it's age because I feel
like I've talked to other women and not even women,
men too around this age where like there's this shift
like your parents are realizing like they're nearing the endish,
not end, but the endish of their lives and you
are realizing, oh shit, I'm gonna have to take care
of you. And also like you're starting to really humanize

(37:30):
your parent because you're because of your own personal life experiences,
whether you're being a mother, whatever, workforce, whatever the fuck,
Like you're starting to realize, oh, my god, no wonder
she didn't have the capacity for me at that age
because blah blah blah, because I'm going through this right now,
so you know. And then me literally being in the

(37:51):
caretaker role out of retreat where I'm responsible for helping
these women, guiding these women, leading these women, including my mother,
you know, and seeing where she's stuck, seeing the where
like the work never got done or never even started.
And you're right, like I do see that the healing
seven years. I mean, I can only I can't speak

(38:13):
for seven years behind me. I know it's probably happening,
but I can't. I mean, but like in the for
the future, I see it through my daughter. I see
it even with my mom, like her leaning in, leaning
into me more, her accepting me more, her flying across
the count like across out of the United States, taking
to a plane, staying in a hotel, and I traveling

(38:36):
into the jungle like, that's a lot of effort for
a woman her age, like and that I know that
that that's a big deal because three or four years ago,
there would have been no fucking way on earth that
she would have even been interested to know what the
fuck I'm doing over here. So I know that there's
healing taking place. I know that there's progress taking place,

(38:56):
and it is uncomfortable. I am still processing. It was challenging.
I do think that we does we owe it to
our mothers to bring this work to them. I will
say too, yes, it is easier to be in the

(39:17):
work with strangers because even in our own personal relationship,
I'm not gonna lie. I'd be like, damn, Mela can
sit and fucking talk to these women. But we have
an issue, like I feel like she avoids me, but
like she don't know this bitch from a grain of salt,
and she's gonna let her cry with her and ask
her all these questions. But when we have it but

(39:38):
with me and you sometimes and that goes vice versa,
like there's a resistance when you are close with someone,
not all the time, but specific people when it's extremely
sensitive where you avoid you know, and like I wanted
to avoid this trip with my mom's like she was
coming and I was like, oh my god, like why no,
like are you sure?

Speaker 2 (39:58):
Fuck?

Speaker 4 (39:58):
Like I know she needs it, but like I know
I invited you, but you know, and it's like, why
would I be giving this medicine to everyone else except
the woman who fucking birthed me? Like why because you know,
and and out of fear of judgment, out of fear
of it not working, out of fear of it being like,
oh well it works on everyone else but didn't work

(40:19):
on you, book, Like is it real?

Speaker 2 (40:21):
Is it real?

Speaker 4 (40:22):
You know, like the judgment of myself. And I think
it's like pushing past We have to push past those
those fears because A that's the calling on our lives,
or at least mine, and B because like our fucking future,
our descendants deserve this shit. They deserve it, and in

(40:44):
this world that's crazy and acting so strange, like at
least we can we can like know that, like our
families are straight, like mentally and emotionally and physically and
basically and spiritually.

Speaker 2 (40:59):
Spiritually, And I mean, I think obviously it's a calling
on our lives because we're here doing it, so like
there would be no reason for our purpose to be
you know, like so clear, but for every for everybody
else outside of the people directly related to us, you know,
and it is it's gonna it's going to require that
you do things that are on like more and more

(41:21):
and more, Like I would say, like I said, like
the work's never done. And it also like luckily we
are people that have the insight to like obviously we're human,
but like to self respect, I mean self analyze and
self reflect and say, like what is my avoidance with conflict?

Speaker 3 (41:40):
What does this mean to me?

Speaker 2 (41:42):
You know? And like for me, like I grew up
in a household where like conflicts were fights were the
like it was this big blow up and like I
didn't see a lot of healthy arguments. I saw fucking
chaos and violence. And so I think maybe as an adult,
I avoid it because I'm like this is going to
lead to this and I and I don't want this

(42:02):
to lead to this huge violent like like explosion and
like having to reprogram and rewire like what what conflict means?
And like truly the conflict is like if you have
a conflict and you can talk past it, you're gonna
always be closer to the person versus assuming that conflict
automatically means fucking chaos, you know what I mean. Like,

(42:25):
there's there's so much of like adulthood that is based
in observing why why the fuck do I act this way?
Why do I feel this way? Why did I just
tell myself this? Why am I so highly critical of
this this and that? You know? Why am I judging
this person? Or whatever?

Speaker 3 (42:43):
The fuck?

Speaker 2 (42:43):
It is? A lot of it is like these are
these are decisions and that we've made, or like a
filter that has like covered our lens in childhood or
in early development that now it's lived with us. But
most a lot of people aren't committed to questioning the
why of why you are. Some people are like, well,

(43:03):
that's just how I am. And it's like is it
just how you are? Or is there a room for
you to expand and try harder and do it again
and be better?

Speaker 3 (43:12):
You know, And it's like it's not easy, but life
is a fucking.

Speaker 2 (43:20):
Lesson, Like our souls have a contract and some shit
is supposed to get done this this iteration, and like
if you don't do it, we're gonna be back in
this bitch trying again in a different body, and you
might be a male and maybe it'll be white, maybe
you'll have different circumstances.

Speaker 3 (43:37):
But that's life, you know. So yeah, this.

Speaker 2 (43:44):
Is yeah, I'm grateful that we have. I'm just I'm
grateful that this is the work that we're in because
even if it's Wu wou or whatever, we're always at
least trying to dig a little deeper, go a little further,
try a little harder.

Speaker 4 (44:05):
I mean, and I can't help it because I'm always
I'm like, I'm such a like whenever I'm going as
I'm going through this work with my mother, I'm thinking,
oh my god, like we need to do a mom
and mom retreat, Like we need to do a mom
and mom retreat, and my mom must come back. We
talked about doing a mom you know, mom and daughter
retreat like a kid retreat, which, like, you know, we

(44:27):
got a lot of people interested in and I'm excited
to do something like that, But I'm also like that
other aspect of like my mom coming on this retreat
made me realize, like, if your mom is still here
on this earth and is willing to come into a
space like that with you, why the fuck not, you know,
and like you're talking about generational healing like that shit,

(44:51):
Like I already know whatever we did in there out
in the jungle, like it's still the healing is still
working right now in this very moment, you know.

Speaker 2 (44:58):
Like that is so.

Speaker 4 (45:00):
Powerful, like being able to sit in your mother's arms
like a baby or vice versa, you know, and being
able to care for one another in that way where
it's just about you, there's no distractions, Like I have
to do some healing with my mom first before I
can probably facilitate something like that.

Speaker 3 (45:20):
I mean, you are, but you did, but you did it.
I'm like I'm doing it, but yeah, but.

Speaker 4 (45:24):
I'm still working through the discomfort, you know, Like I'm
not on the other side. I don't know, Like I
don't I don't want to say I'm not on the
other side of it. I'm not on the other side
of it, and I know that there's maybe no perfect
other side of it, but I do feel like there's
a level of like initiation in that space that I
need to go walk a little bit through before facilitating
experience like that. But I realize how important it is

(45:48):
and how like necessary it the fuck is.

Speaker 2 (45:52):
Okay, I mean that the mom wounds, the parental wounds
in general, are deep seated, and you're right, like, if
we are here in life, while you can do it
out loud, why not. And it's not to say that
everyone's gonna you know, it's gonna be easier.

Speaker 3 (46:09):
Your mom's gonna just take it. It's gonna be like that.

Speaker 2 (46:11):
You know. I got into it with my mom the
other day because she was like telling me she worked
my whole life, and I was like, you did it.
You stopped working when I was nine, and she's like, no,
I did it, No I did it. I was like, no,
you did and she's like, no, I did it. I
worked your whole life. And I was like, mom, why
would I have this very specific number, not like I
know exactly when you stopped working. And then she was

(46:33):
just getting like nasty a little bit with me, and
I was just like, never mind, girl, I'm not about
to keep going arguing back and forth. But what I
noticed in that moment, it was like she was me
saying she stopped working at nine, which was a fucking fact,
was me saying you didn't do shit. That's what fed
HER's that's what she was hearing. And you know, a

(46:54):
couple of hours later, she called me and she was like,
I talked to your dad. You're right, I did stop
working when you ran in the fourth grade, but I
was taking you to doctor's appointments. I was like, yeah,
of course.

Speaker 4 (47:06):
Well, because she's still working. She was raising you, which
is a whole other job. I mean, I know that's
not what she was thinking when you've said that, but
I probably in her in her mind, in her body,
she didn't get a break, you know what I mean, yeah,
kind of not physically checked into the She might have
not physically checked into the job, you know, but in

(47:27):
her muscle memory, bitch, I was working the fuck.

Speaker 2 (47:30):
And it just it was just like a really clear
indication of like what I'm saying versus what you're hearing, right,
And also like I wasn't about to argue and go
back and forth, and I was kind of getting frustrated,
and then I was just like, never mind, Like why
am I arguing about this? And then she called me
back later and agreed with what I was saying, and
I was just like, it's very interesting, Like I know,
as a mom, we are sensitive beings because we do

(47:52):
do so much for our children and we sacrifice and
we pour into and like a lot of times it
feels like a thankless job. And I at that, and
so I just like I obviously need to like affirm
her more. But like even the fact that she called
me back and was like, actually, you're right, yeah, I know, thanks,
But it's just it's interesting that, you know, like we

(48:13):
have to kind of learn the language of our parents,
and like a lot of it is they want to
be thanked and recognized for feeding you and keeping you
live for your whole life, which I gain, and.

Speaker 4 (48:25):
We want to be recognized, and you know, we want
our parents to be proud of us, you know, so
it's kind of the same shit. I'm trying to bring
this backwood back to life, okay, because bitch, if you
saw the backwood cemetery that's happening before my fucking eyes here, Bitch,
these dry backwards that I have. So I'm literally putting

(48:48):
this whole cigar in water, hoping to reignite the moisture
so that I don't rip this open and it just
falls to pieces, because what in the backwood is going
on here?

Speaker 2 (49:01):
I have this grape backwood from Costa Rica, and you
know what I said, one episode that I was going
to try it without your babe. Oh no, I'm going
to hear GEP you know what to do?

Speaker 4 (49:18):
Oh my god, I think I fixed it. Wait let
me Yeah, Oh my god, I re wait. I think
I need more water.

Speaker 3 (49:26):
You rehydrated it rehydrated the backwoods.

Speaker 2 (49:29):
See, I'm a backwood CPR, CPR D I CPR this bitch.
I have a grape one and I want to try
it without putting weed in it like you did like
a cigar.

Speaker 4 (49:40):
Oh yeah, come on girl. Oh no, my mom is
not talking about her. She's calling me.

Speaker 3 (49:45):
Now, were you talking about me on that podcast?

Speaker 4 (49:48):
If you always, she'll be mortified. Everyone, do not tell
her I talked about her on this episode, don't you.

Speaker 3 (49:53):
Dare you know what? She'll be so mortified that she
won't listen. You know my mom.

Speaker 2 (49:58):
My mom has still read our book. And one day
she was like, I was gonna say I was gonna
send it to my friend. And then I realized I
don't know what she said about me. I said, yeah,
maybe you should read it before you go passing along
to your new friend.

Speaker 3 (50:17):
Like so interesting, my mom hasn't read them, But like,
what does your mom say?

Speaker 4 (50:23):
See but that's what I'm saying, Like it's like whatever,
you don't have to read the book, but like it's
always like this little thing that's not quite you.

Speaker 2 (50:31):
No, she's afraid to read the book. My mom told
me she's afraid to read the book to see what
I wrote about her.

Speaker 3 (50:36):
Your mom's also afraid.

Speaker 2 (50:37):
I can only imagine that's the only reason they're not.

Speaker 4 (50:39):
Okay, Yes, the book I get. Okay, the podcast I get, yes, yes, yes,
But I think throughout my life, like there were moments
where I wanted her to cheer for me harder, you know,
like I needed her to like really go there, you know,
like really celebrate me in a way that felt, and
not give me any critiques afterwards. Well next time, oh

(51:00):
shut the fuck up.

Speaker 3 (51:00):
There, just let it be.

Speaker 4 (51:02):
Yeah, And there was always like the critique because she
wanted me to be the best, and you know, thankfully,
you know, I am because of that, but not but
not without some fucking anxiety. Yeah. Yeah, So wait, I
need to get a napkin.

Speaker 2 (51:29):
Okay, this is a great backwood. I'm gonna smoke it,
just regular like a cigar, like a big papa.

Speaker 4 (51:35):
Okay. So I told Mila that the trick to tasting
the flavors of the backwoods, and you have to actually
smoke it like a real cigar. The flavor, the great
flavor is keep moving. My mic I told Jamila that
the trick smoking backwood is you have to actually smoke
the whole backwood with the shit inside, because the flavoring

(51:55):
is in the stuffing. We take the stuffing out to
put the weed in, like I'm about to do, because
I think I've doctored up my backwood the way I'm.

Speaker 2 (52:05):
Gonna get cursed out for smoking a full cigar in
my bed.

Speaker 4 (52:09):
Well, I'm yeah, I'm smoking in my house too, because
I'm not going outside. But see, this is the this
is why, this is what I've waited for. This is
what adulthood is about.

Speaker 3 (52:18):
Do whatever the fuck you want smoke.

Speaker 4 (52:19):
In my house. Shut the fuck up, leave me alone,
I read, Go upstairs, go close the door.

Speaker 2 (52:26):
Okay, it's actually not as bad, like as bad as
I thought it'd be.

Speaker 4 (52:29):
It's not so bad. And do you taste the grape?

Speaker 2 (52:36):
I do.

Speaker 3 (52:38):
It is more grapy than if I would have put
the weed in here.

Speaker 4 (52:40):
Mm, I'm not mad at this, doesn't he don't you
feel like a like a sophisticated and.

Speaker 2 (52:46):
I got my collared shirt on. I feel like like
a Cuban mommy. You're not gonna be poppy.

Speaker 4 (52:51):
Don't inhale too much. Just like you know, let the
just like you know, like the Cubans do. They just
like let it sit in their mad Give me a
Bobby gimme. Yeah, it's not even the shirt, it's the
it's the head wrap for me.

Speaker 5 (53:06):
Baby, I've had four inches of hair out for three
days and I'm.

Speaker 2 (53:16):
Already over it.

Speaker 4 (53:18):
You want to cut it again.

Speaker 2 (53:19):
I'm either gonna get braids, so I'm gonna get braids
to go to Bali. But yeah, I don't know how
long this is gonna last. Baby, that's not total November bitch.
Like I'm gonna get braids. I'm gonna get braids.

Speaker 3 (53:32):
Maybe I need to get it. Maybe I need to
get my hair done.

Speaker 2 (53:34):
I need something to do it for me. I'm not
like well versed on more than three inches of hair yet.
I haven't had hair since like all I was pregnant
with Linda.

Speaker 4 (53:44):
I was gonna take these braids. I think I put
my weave back in. I think it's I think it's
falls for weaves.

Speaker 2 (53:49):
Oh you know what, Actually, I have I have some clippings.
Remember that time I clippins that time I burnt my
hair out with herm Yeah, I still have them, I remember.
Oh my god. I don't know if you guys remember
I told this story. It was like three years ago.
I over processed. I was doing my own hair all
the time for like a decade, and I thought I
was a professional. And I left the perman while I

(54:10):
was cleaning my room because I just did it so
many times. I just knew, I knew what I was doing,
and baby about I had a cute little hairstyle. And
about three days later I moved the bang baby, and
all of this was gone. That okay gone And blessed
Orlando's heart because that was right around the time we
went out of town together for thirty days and I
had to like no braids could go right here because

(54:32):
it was too short. And he still loved me, but
that shit was bald for like at least two months.

Speaker 3 (54:40):
So now I go to the hairdresser.

Speaker 4 (54:42):
I'm so happy that you finally started doing going to
the hairdresser, because for a good part of our first
four years of friendship, you were like I do my
own hair. I cut my own hair. I do my
own hair.

Speaker 2 (54:52):
I did it all. I did it all.

Speaker 4 (54:54):
Go get your hair done.

Speaker 3 (55:00):
Tell me I wasn't a professional hairstylist. Why was I
cutting my own hair.

Speaker 4 (55:04):
I mean, you were doing okay, but like, you know,
it looks better now that you actually went and got
it professionally done. You know, it's like a little there
was a little helmet action sometimes looking a little helmety
at times.

Speaker 2 (55:16):
Hey hey, hey, you gonna you're gonna You're gonna be
easy on my hairstyle.

Speaker 4 (55:22):
The helmet daser over because you stopped going to super Cuts.
And I'm just kidding.

Speaker 3 (55:27):
I did go to Supercuts a couple of times.

Speaker 2 (55:30):
I was like, just cut it. I can do the rest.
I know you're dead.

Speaker 4 (55:33):
I was like, bitch, if you go to Fantastic Sam's.

Speaker 2 (55:35):
When we're having short hair is a commitment. You have
to either keep it cut, you have to keep it done.
Like there's no ponytails. If I could have a pony tail,
i'd be fine. It's just it doesn't exist.

Speaker 4 (55:48):
Okay, Now I'm slight.

Speaker 2 (55:51):
I'm not mad at this at all. Actually, I told
you nice, you're going for it.

Speaker 4 (55:56):
I see you over there, you keep smoking it.

Speaker 2 (55:59):
Okay, backwoods I want to go to I want to
go to the Dominican Republic and go on a backwoods tour. Okay, backwards. Hello,
it's me Mila Mapp. If you hear this, I'm trying
to get to the dr and go to the farm
and see what's going on there. I've never been to
a tobacco farm. So send the.

Speaker 4 (56:17):
Invite, ignore that, ignore her. She's fine, she's going upstairs.

Speaker 2 (56:23):
Got this?

Speaker 4 (56:28):
Okay, So this backward? What am I smoking? Because it
was a backwood cemetery. I don't even know which one
it came from at this point.

Speaker 3 (56:33):
I think it looks like Aromatic or something.

Speaker 4 (56:35):
Yeah, this is the la Aromatic, which is my favorite
backwood Actually this one.

Speaker 2 (56:42):
You know, I think that we need to spend more time.
Do we need to have like a cigar bar meetup?
I feel like that'd be sexy. Also, if anybody's listening
in their single, the cigar bars is where those older,
more distinguished sugar daddies are at the One time I
went to a cigar bar with Ashley a La, the
old niggas were on me.

Speaker 3 (57:02):
I mean, that's just my m O. In general, older
niggas love me.

Speaker 2 (57:05):
But ladies, this cigar bar is where it's at if
you like a little salt and pepper, silver fox and
they usually have jobs. Hm hm.

Speaker 4 (57:18):
Anyway, now that I've smoked, I've cried, I've smoke, I'm smoking.
What a day you.

Speaker 2 (57:27):
Came at my? My helmet hair from two thousand and
fucking fifteen? What else?

Speaker 3 (57:33):
What else is on the agenda?

Speaker 4 (57:37):
I was on the internet perusing through the podcasting scoope
and I happened to fall upon this clip. It's with
the podcast with Paul Pierce and Azar. Shout out to Azar,
she's been at good Good Media before. Why is this

(57:58):
not staying? Let I actually know it's our sister, and
they're so different. Actually they're not that different. They're kind
of the same. They just they look different.

Speaker 3 (58:15):
But the clip, I fucking hate Paul Pierce.

Speaker 2 (58:20):
I don't hate him because I don't know him personally,
but the five clips that I've seen and his opinions
are never hitting.

Speaker 4 (58:30):
So let's just play the clip. Let's play the clip
so people can know what we're talking about.

Speaker 3 (58:36):
Did you want I'm about to revisit it right the
funck now?

Speaker 4 (58:40):
Yeah? Go ahead and rewatch it?

Speaker 2 (58:49):
Wait? Where did it go?

Speaker 3 (58:50):
Instagram?

Speaker 2 (58:55):
A right here it is.

Speaker 6 (59:00):
Are you men who stand up? Men who go out
there and put your elbow into making a woman make
sure she's straight and hard working and respectable, chest up,
checking out men? And you really on the grind and
you really got ambition. M leave these little pretty girls alone, bro,

(59:27):
they don't put their elbow in there. I'm gonna keep
it one hundred over there looking at Oh she bad,
Oh look at her Instagram? Oh she an shell. I'll
get you a five or six. Who's gonna put some
elbow into it? Ain't gonna be down for you on
some one hundred.

Speaker 1 (59:43):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 6 (59:44):
They gonna look at you like, why are you with her?
Don't worry about while with her, because she's gonna do
everything you ain't doing. Fellas like, man, forget all that
how you around her?

Speaker 2 (59:57):
Now?

Speaker 5 (59:57):
She ain't.

Speaker 3 (59:57):
She ain't got no substance to her now, she got
no s sence because she's pretty.

Speaker 2 (01:00:06):
So basically, he's alluding to the fact that pretty girls
don't think they have to work hard in a relationship.

Speaker 4 (01:00:13):
What pretty goala hurt you, Paul?

Speaker 2 (01:00:15):
What that's my next Google Paul Pierce's ex wife, because
I'm sure she's a baddie and she probably took a
lot of his money, as she should have. You know,
first of all, this is disrespectful to all women.

Speaker 4 (01:00:31):
And I think when he's re Landrum. They divorced in
twenty twenty three. This may only been single four seconds.
Julie is cute, Of course she is. That's why he
feels that way now, Julie, Julie looked like she was
She wasn't even outside like that. Okay, she was probably

(01:00:52):
probably a lawyer or some shit. Look at Julie.

Speaker 2 (01:00:58):
Oh yeah, she is cute. He looks too smart to
be with the fuckery, is what the problem is. They
don't want smart bitches. They don't want bitches who have
a clue, because as soon as I have a clue,
I'm gonna know you're on some bullshit and you're gonna
have to be accountable, and that would just be too
motherfucking hard.

Speaker 3 (01:01:15):
And I think that's really what he's saying.

Speaker 4 (01:01:17):
And you know, I honestly he's been married for thirteen years.
This man got divorced in twenty twenty three. Granted I
don't know when they broke up. Maybe they broke up
in two that the twenty twenties. I don't know, but
obviously you probably want on your whole face. Okay, let's
just be honest, Paul. You broke up with Julie Gott

(01:01:37):
with Forrest.

Speaker 2 (01:01:39):
What on another clip? I just when you said that
just reminded me. On another clip that I saw, this
is the one that pissed me off. He said that
his homeboy said that his side bitch is the one
who told him to say with his wife. He said,
his side bitch is the one who kept him married
for ten years because the side bitch was rooting for
the wife. And I'm so basically that it's good to

(01:02:01):
have a side bitch because he comes home.

Speaker 4 (01:02:03):
Don't how about fellas, don't take any advice from this man.
That should tell you enough. Okay, Like, what are you
talking about? First of all, you got divorced, probably started
dating a bunch of girls that probably aren't very smart,
because by design, I think a lot of men prefer
men women that are not very smart because then they
can control them and they just get what they want.
So you're it's like, it's like what men always say

(01:02:25):
to women, like it's who you chose, You chose them,
You chose them, nigga, you chose her.

Speaker 3 (01:02:32):
Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (01:02:33):
Because there's niggas love to tell us we chose our
baby daddy, we chose them, and then but you chose,
you choose women and then cheat on him.

Speaker 4 (01:02:41):
So what in the man is that just like a
five nigga will break your heart, A five bitch will
still break your heart. Nigga, I can't wait for you
to find out. Go ahead, go get you a five
or six?

Speaker 2 (01:02:51):
Go ahead, baby, He's but he's basically saying that, in
his opinion, whoever he thinks which beauty is relative, whoever
he thinks is a five or six, is going to
be so happy to have his ass that they are
going to just polish shoes, cook dinner, white ass. I
don't know what, you know, what I really want to know.
This is like a this is a public question. I

(01:03:12):
want to know in today's society, what is it that
men like outside of submitting, because that's a very general thing.
What do men think that women like? What is he
what does he want us to put elbow like? How
do we put elbow grease like? What does that mean
to him?

Speaker 4 (01:03:28):
Like?

Speaker 2 (01:03:29):
Suck extra dick, like full all the clothes, Like is
it the domestic role?

Speaker 3 (01:03:33):
Like not going out?

Speaker 4 (01:03:34):
It sounds like hard labor.

Speaker 2 (01:03:37):
Yeah, Like so that's what I want to know, Like
do they expect us to like is it like is
it like the domestic thing? They don't think like these
new modern numbers domestic. We don't cook, win unclean, we're
not taking care of the children. We just want to
be in the streets. Like I'm really wondering what this
means because there's so many like gender wars. I'm really
so fucking sick of hearing about the shit Like we
need each other, we love each other, we'd be fucking

(01:03:59):
on each other. Remind us I see, Like I feel
like men like this are men who have this mentality
we're gonna get replaced with AI.

Speaker 4 (01:04:08):
But also like we're putting our value on how you, Paul,
are all still putting value on like how a woman looks?
Do you know what I mean? Like there's no like
what is a five or six? A five or six
and looks a five or six in her career? A
five or six? What what scope of five or six?
We're just talking about pretty bitches. I guess he did
say pretty bitches. So we think that if we get

(01:04:30):
a less attractive person, she's going to be smarter because
pretty people are not intelligent.

Speaker 3 (01:04:36):
No, not smarter.

Speaker 2 (01:04:37):
She said they're gonna put elbow grease. He didn't say, Hey,
they don't want smart women. That is the problem. Men
don't want partners. If you pick a partner, when you
pick a business partner, you want someone let's smart.

Speaker 4 (01:04:48):
Let's not let's not generalize men. We just said, we
said we're not going to drive.

Speaker 3 (01:04:51):
I said, men with this, men with this mentality, this mentality. Yeah, yeah, sure,
Men with this.

Speaker 2 (01:04:56):
Mentality prefer women who or not thinking because then they
can get away with doing over the fuck. They want
men who with this mentality that are in or on
the social media fucking going hard about the submission. And
even that one very cringey clip about that guy on
that God podcast saying he prefers to date younger women

(01:05:19):
because older women don't listen, baby, you want someone with
less experience that you can get over on.

Speaker 3 (01:05:25):
And to me, that is questionable, like why would one
pick a partner.

Speaker 2 (01:05:28):
It's like if we're playing fucking volleyball and I get
to pick my team and I pick the fucking dumbest ones.
Or if I'm in the science bawl and I'm gonna
pick my team for the fucking end of the year project,
I'm gonna pick the dumb like the people who don't study,
who don't show up to class.

Speaker 3 (01:05:43):
That doesn't make any sense. If you want to build a.

Speaker 2 (01:05:46):
Strong family aka team, you're gonna pick the strongest players,
the smartest players, with the most strategy, with the most
power forward. I don't know if you're trying to speak
in your language. I don't really know this language, but
I'm trying here. You're gonna pick the d one picks
at the top schools, right the best athletic abilities. If
you're gonna go to the checker fucking tournament, you're gonna
pick the best strategy, the best checker players.

Speaker 3 (01:06:07):
Why in the fuck do men go on these podcasts
a lot of.

Speaker 2 (01:06:11):
Men, not all of them, and then rally behind wanting
women that are just submissive or are basically not smart.
You're asking for women to not have an opinion and
to not say shit and to follow you blindly because
you don't value our input, and so you would prefer
to be with women who don't ask any questions. But
if nobody's asking questions, you don't want someone to question you.

(01:06:33):
And like you don't want a strong family, you want
a weak ass bitch because you don't want to be questioned.
And any good democracy, any strong kingdom, is going to
have a board to collectively discuss the issues at hand,
because every king, every kingdom needs what is the right

(01:06:57):
hand man in fucking King of Thrones? No, no, the squad,
the nigga, you know, the right or the queen or
the council. This is just a relative thing to say, Hey,
I am the king and I am the queen, but
I might I need input from the smartest motherfucker's up
in this village? What's up?

Speaker 3 (01:07:17):
So I'm gonna pick the smartest partner.

Speaker 2 (01:07:19):
If men don't want strong if you want to a
strong family, a strong lineage with the best players, you're
going to pick the best leads. And if you keep
saying publicly, I'm going to assume you want you you
want a weak ass family. Doesn't make any sense.

Speaker 4 (01:07:37):
It's just like I think there's a level. I think
most men say they believe that they're kings, but most
men don't even know what they would define a king.

Speaker 1 (01:07:46):
To be.

Speaker 4 (01:07:47):
So it's just something that people embody through the alpha male,
or they think they're embodying through this title of being
an alpha male, which is a lot of which is
an associated so much a topic whatever fucking words around
that we've made up. You know, it's just do you
want the Kingdom?

Speaker 3 (01:08:06):
Do you even know?

Speaker 4 (01:08:07):
Do you even believe that you come from the kingdom?
Do you even believe? Do you understand? Like no, the
answer is no.

Speaker 2 (01:08:16):
And it's it's true because when you talk about leading,
and you talk about submission and you talk about these things,
they like, what is your plan for your family?

Speaker 3 (01:08:25):
What is it that you want?

Speaker 2 (01:08:27):
Because I know.

Speaker 4 (01:08:28):
Because they're rarely worried about what we bring to the table,
very much worried about what's happening over here in our kitchen.

Speaker 2 (01:08:35):
Meanwhile, meanwhile, their version of kingdom is dropping a bunch
of sperm off into different bitches without having to commit
to any of them and setting that example for their
the princes and the princesses of the kingdom.

Speaker 3 (01:08:48):
So what does that say?

Speaker 2 (01:08:50):
And like, this brings me to our other clip that
I saw this week on the fucking internet, which was
I thought it was interesting because we it was on
Breakfast Club and they ask Sierra how does she feel
about people on social media calling Russell Wilson a simp

(01:09:10):
or a lame or corny, and she was like, I
don't think.

Speaker 3 (01:09:15):
Should have it because who's saying it, and it's true.

Speaker 2 (01:09:18):
I don't think people realize what a loser you have
to be to criticize a man taking care of.

Speaker 3 (01:09:24):
His family and being a great dad, He's a simp.

Speaker 2 (01:09:30):
You don't want another niggas showing other niggas the example
of what a good father and husband look like, because
you want the bar to be in hell still because
that's where you thrive.

Speaker 3 (01:09:41):
And so you don't even know what the fuck.

Speaker 2 (01:09:43):
It means to lead and to be a king and
to have a lineage that is strong because you're over
here criticizing the man that's doing it.

Speaker 4 (01:09:51):
No, No, I loved her answer. I loved her answer.
She's I love Sierra. I'm like, I've always liked Sierra,
but I think I'm a a season of loving Sierra.
I just think that she has like she's been. She's like,
first of all, she is stuck around. Okay, should you
say what you want about Sierra? That bitch got hits okay,
and she just leads with so much integrity.

Speaker 2 (01:10:14):
Yeah, she's always you know what she does the Michelle
Obama thing. She doesn't go low, she goes hi. She's
just class.

Speaker 4 (01:10:21):
Yeah, and it feels very genuine, you know. And it's like,
I think that's why she's had the career that she's had,
Like whether or not she's had the hit or not
or didn't have to hit, like, she's always been able
to be invited, you know, she's always been there, and
I think it's been so vulnerable about her journey. You know,
she's made bad mistake Sierra and fucking Future well, I

(01:10:44):
can't even I don't like that that who is that Sierra?
But you know, like that's the other side of her.

Speaker 2 (01:10:49):
But but she's from Atlanta, you know, she's from Atlanta.
But I think that's also important to look at. Like
we niggas praise Future fucking Nevade Nevedas or whatever the fuck.

Speaker 3 (01:10:58):
His name is.

Speaker 2 (01:10:59):
They love the Tavious. They follow him blindly, everything sip
the syrup drop off. He has like nine kids by
nine different women, And like, I'm not Jesus, I'm not
here to judge. But the point is, you fucking rally
behind that shit, sipping syrup, nodding off and having a

(01:11:19):
bunch of kids by different women. But then you see
a man who comes and takes care of his children,
is president in their children's lives, takes care of his wife,
and is taking care of the child of somebody else,
And that's who you criticize. That is something we have
to collectively look at at as a society because that's wild.
Obviously the men have gotten not all men, but a

(01:11:40):
lot of the men, and unfortunately a lot of the
young men have gotten this. This ps that got this
memo that hating women and like leading a strong household
is in some ways negative, and.

Speaker 3 (01:11:52):
That's wild as hell.

Speaker 4 (01:11:55):
It's corny.

Speaker 3 (01:11:56):
That's fucking corny crazy. It's so corny.

Speaker 2 (01:12:00):
And also it's like when I think about the gender
wars and all these things, you know, like Orlando's very
proud to be a husband, Like He's like, I've always
wanted to be a husband. This is really important to me.
He's like, I really my goal is to like have
like watch my grandkids play. I don't think I've never
heard a nigga ever say no shit like that, Like
I didn't even think about that, you know what I mean?

(01:12:21):
And I think because we don't see a lot of
examples of men saying those type of things publicly, like
I've really like Orlando is a whore from whore Island.

Speaker 3 (01:12:30):
Of course he's been, you know, in the streets, but
he's also been very.

Speaker 2 (01:12:34):
Clear about wanting to be a husband and wanting to
be a father, and like when he came into our
lives in a very uncomfortable way, he was like, I'm
i'm my daughter, Like I'm taking this role on very
seriously as a stepfather and as like I know that
we're growing into something.

Speaker 3 (01:12:50):
And that made me be like, oh shit.

Speaker 2 (01:12:53):
First of all, I was like this nigga's a little crazy,
and also maybe be like, okay, what does that mean
to me? But so often we don't hear men have
pride in these roles that it doesn't trigger us to
have to think about what it means to be a wife.
And I'm just saying that, And this is as someone
who I did want to be married. I did as
a little girl, I wanted to be married, and I'd
like I had this idea, but I very rarely heard

(01:13:14):
men say that, and so it's taken me until I'm
actually like coming into this place to be like, shit, what.

Speaker 3 (01:13:22):
Does it mean to be a good wife?

Speaker 2 (01:13:23):
Like like how do I pour back into this person
that values me and values my our relationships so much
and that I mirror it? And to be honest, it's
kind of like intimidating sometimes because I'm like, fuck, I
didn't study, I didn't read the book because I was
so I was banking on niggas nigging because that's what
I've seen, even the example of the man in my

(01:13:45):
own household who I love and adored and has always
been a present father. My dad's always been in my life,
always lived in my household.

Speaker 4 (01:13:51):
But did he do some.

Speaker 3 (01:13:52):
Functionhit of course, and did they breed trust issues? Obviously?

Speaker 2 (01:13:55):
And my dad is someone who values marriage and being
a father, but his actions didn't always look that way.
So it didn't like I'm not one of those people
who's like when I heard Cam Newton's baby Mama go
on Shamboo Drim Show and say how much she like spoils,

(01:14:16):
how spoiled her man is, it made me cringe And
then you're like, I don't think so, And I was like, damn,
am I a bitch?

Speaker 3 (01:14:22):
Why does that make me cringe?

Speaker 2 (01:14:23):
And I realize I feel resentment, a lot of resentment
towards men because they don't show up in a way
that has cared for us, and especially black men to
black women. And I'm probably looking at the comments too
often and seeing all the losers comment. I have to
also know that. But I'm realizing, like hearing men say
positive things about marriage, about their women, about their families

(01:14:47):
is really important for the leading for us to assume
our position. And I'm realizing that now, like I'm thankful
for men like Russell. I'm thankful for men like Orlando,
you know, so that I know, like, oh, it's okay
to take pride in this role when you're being taken
care of and this is what it looks like. And
so I just, yeah, shout out to Russell for being

(01:15:08):
the best stepdaddy on the internet and making these nigga
step out of their game instead of thinking that taking
care of somebody else's kids is lame and whack.

Speaker 4 (01:15:16):
Yeah, No, I think that I think he's I think
men feel very intimidated by It's like it's like a
mirror when you see a man, and Russell's so unbothered too.
Like he's he's so unbothered, he's just wearing his sunglasses,
you know, with his little fine self. So fine are
living their fucking life, and I would I understand why

(01:15:38):
they're mad. They're mad, you know, and you do have
to be careful who who the messenger is important. That's
why she said, like who said it? Who's saying?

Speaker 3 (01:15:48):
What household did they grow up in?

Speaker 1 (01:15:50):
What? What?

Speaker 2 (01:15:50):
What example of love have they received? And so yeah,
like if you haven't had a loving household or a
loving father, of course you're going to reject the idea
of what that looks like and think it's some corn
ball shaite because you're following fat you're following fucking the
Tavis and the trap boy on the corner or some
rapper nigga that it's also been neglected and it is
craving love and is wounded.

Speaker 3 (01:16:11):
So it's just wounded wounded leaders and wounded soldiers all
fucking following each other. And that's problematic.

Speaker 4 (01:16:17):
Yeah, you know what else is problematic? Moving on to
our our last topic because we gotta go, But I'm
here to say, do I need we need like a
donkey of the day on fucking good moments?

Speaker 3 (01:16:31):
What we can what would they be called?

Speaker 2 (01:16:36):
Oh my god, I don't know, the bad, bad for real?

Speaker 4 (01:16:42):
Yeah, this is actually bad.

Speaker 3 (01:16:50):
So what will our donkey of the day be called?

Speaker 4 (01:16:53):
This is actually bad?

Speaker 2 (01:16:55):
Okay, bad for real? Okay, bad for real, bad for real.
This is bad for real, no for real? Okay, so
this is bad, like for real, for real? This is
this is bad.

Speaker 4 (01:17:03):
I'm disappointed.

Speaker 2 (01:17:04):
I really am.

Speaker 4 (01:17:05):
I'm not even gonna front I. You know, I kind
of thought there was something going on, something a little
off when she married the white man. Okay, I was like,
but he seemed joyful and jolly, so I you know,
I was like, enrich as fuck. So I said, okay,
all right, maybe maybe he's like the cool white nerd
from you know that you could hang out with at

(01:17:26):
the party at the keegar that the keegar. Then she
started playing with her face and I was like, what
are you doing? What's happening? Is there an identity thing
going on?

Speaker 2 (01:17:38):
Like what are you're beautiful?

Speaker 4 (01:17:40):
Or I know this woman also has been highly critiqued,
highly critiqued. Okay, she is like at the highest level.
And this is because this is actually bad. It's not
the donkey the day. I'm just saying this is actually bad.
I think that nothing could take away the the incredible
accomplishments and who she is to black people period. I

(01:18:02):
just want to say that, including myself. But unfortunately Serena
Williams is now a spokesperson for a weight loss drug
that you inject into your body that's basically like ozembic.
It's called a GLP one or some shit and which
sounds like the date rape drug just FYI to me,

(01:18:22):
which is why it probably is like feels even more
gross in my mind. And I just feel like this
is so irresponsible as just someone with so much influence
and who has like rose to the ranks, the highest
ranks in athleticism in.

Speaker 2 (01:18:40):
Just like she's she's like.

Speaker 4 (01:18:42):
A fucking gladiator gladiatress. And I just think that like
so many people look up to her, young girls look
up to her, like I just she has millions of
dollars she can take this medicine and like be monitored
and make sure everything's going well. People are gonna start
injecting themselves this weight loss thing, which they've already started
to be get do in general, but we've never had

(01:19:04):
a black woman come out as a spokesperson for this
type of weight loss stuff. We've seen Oprah. You know
she did weight watch? Was it weight Watchers? Was Oprah
weight Watchers?

Speaker 3 (01:19:14):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:19:15):
For years I'd say, yeah, I forgot about that. Weight
Watchers was just like a diet, but that was just
shake yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:19:21):
But this is like we're putting we're putting things into
our body that are not even for us, but for
people with like other health conditions. I mean that you
can repackage it and change up the ingredients here and there,
but let's be honest, like this is for something else.
And I'm just disappointed. I'm disappointed in Serena. I'm worried

(01:19:42):
about what this is already doing. And the reason why
I'm disappointed too is because then I learned that her
husband is on the board of this company that she
is advertising for that has made has gotten her to
lose all this weight that she said she was struggling
to lose with of course, after having a baby and

(01:20:02):
still working out like three times a day, training playing
in like the US Open, and still not being able
to get to the weight that she wanted.

Speaker 2 (01:20:11):
But she was never at that weight.

Speaker 4 (01:20:12):
That was not her body. We've never seen her at
that weight, even in her prime, in her youngest years,
Like she's like thin.

Speaker 2 (01:20:20):
Now I have to go look. I saw the advertise,
I saw her talking about it. I was a little
bit surprised too.

Speaker 4 (01:20:25):
I was shocked.

Speaker 2 (01:20:28):
I think it's very you could be very, very cautious
about endorsing medical anything because we all have different bodies
and react differently.

Speaker 3 (01:20:39):
And we all know that ozempic is getting hit.

Speaker 2 (01:20:41):
With a lot of lawsuits, like a billion dollars both
of lawsuits because of side effects. And I also it's
again we have to look at society and like how
much pressure we put on women, like for the sake
of vanity and like not loving ourselves as is. And
I know, blah blah blah. I'm ninety eight pounds, you know,
but I could. I want to be thicker. But what

(01:21:03):
I'm not gonna go get ass injected in Colombia because
this is the body God gave me. I have a
big problem with. Recently, we discovered that somebody that used
to be our friend, who's always.

Speaker 3 (01:21:14):
Meaning yesterday, No, it's been about five months.

Speaker 4 (01:21:19):
You knew for five months.

Speaker 2 (01:21:21):
No no, no, no, no no no no oh yeah recently, no,
I knew it for a couple of weeks. I thought
I told you, I thought we stopped being friends. Wait,
this is new, like this is a new thing that
just happened. No, this has been happened.

Speaker 4 (01:21:31):
Okay, that's what I thought. Okay, I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (01:21:32):
I just I just found out that a friend, an
old ex friend of ours, who's always working out in
the gym and like promoting working out, has a BBL. Okay,
And it's like, I don't give a fuck about you
getting a BBL. I live in LA. Everybody has fake
boobs and fake shit and does a little Okay. I
realized that to each its own. However, when you were

(01:21:55):
promoting health and wellness and talking about you doing squats
and you got that ass from squats and I'm over
here doing the squats and it's not coming in that way,
I'm gonna be confused.

Speaker 3 (01:22:05):
So I think that is problematic, and she's being honest
about it.

Speaker 2 (01:22:08):
But I just yeah, and I honestly, I've I feel
really sad because I know how criticized she's been, and
you know, just as like a dark skin, brown skin,
black woman, just the how difficult it is to be
in the spotlight and to be in Hollywood and to
be in these spaces, and like they've always criticized her,

(01:22:30):
her body, her ass. They tried to make it seem
like she couldn't wear the tennis skirm. Everybody else's worried
because baby, this is this is a black woman's body.
I mean not mine specifically, but I'm just saying like
everybody has a different shape and size and color, and
they we're all beautiful on our own right.

Speaker 3 (01:22:45):
And like for black women, dark skinned black women.

Speaker 2 (01:22:48):
Specifically, hair type, lips, all these things that people run
out and go get to fucking mimic us we are
criticized for. And this person has been criticized so deeply.
Buy it her own people.

Speaker 4 (01:23:01):
How people? Yeah, I think it's like I feel like
we need to call in a prayer for a serena
for real, because I feel like, like so much of
this because I'm thinking just about I can't like her
blonde hair. I'm like, there's a lot of.

Speaker 3 (01:23:14):
Like, well but I understand, I understand it. I understand
I have blonde hair.

Speaker 4 (01:23:18):
To right, right, but but I just I just mean, like,
as I'm looking at her, I don't know, I feel
this like energy of like how could you not be insecure,
how like I would be insecure. Shit I matter how
to god a no's job or did a lot of
other shit. Well she did, but like I would probably
succumb to the pressure too. You know, yeah, she's human,

(01:23:40):
and you know my only thing is though that. But
you don't need to promote this, Just go do it.
Then we don't need to know that what you did.
No one asked bitch, she lost this weight like one
year ago. We were moved on already, Like.

Speaker 2 (01:23:51):
But okay, what if your nigga had a business and
he was like, yo, if you've been taking.

Speaker 4 (01:23:57):
It, I would know this, but I would understand the
way of the responsibility that I hold, the power that
I yield, the repercussions that this medicine could have on
someone who's young, who doesn't have like the doctors that
are going to make sure that she doesn't have her
any underlying conditions of any sort, like.

Speaker 2 (01:24:15):
I just don't.

Speaker 4 (01:24:16):
And also the fact that like, as women, we already
carry so much shame around the way our body looks,
and that we must be smaller, Like why did she
need to be smaller? Was she unhealthy? Like why was
it that she needed to go down to this weight
I understand, Like was it just for her own comfortability
because she'd never been at that weight before, Like she'd
always this has been her hopes.

Speaker 2 (01:24:34):
And dreams to be Some people are not just made
or not made skinny.

Speaker 3 (01:24:39):
It's just every a lot like.

Speaker 2 (01:24:41):
You, no, a lot of people.

Speaker 4 (01:24:43):
The reason why she is a superb athlete is because
of the strength and body mass that she yields, you
know what I mean, Like there's that she's Our bodies
are what they are, And I just feel like this
is really bad. This is bad for real, because I
just I'm worried and I'm concerned. There's already so much

(01:25:04):
that our kids are gonna see on the internet every day, right,
that's gonna like beat at them. But like I feel
like she is gold. She's like she's the gold standard
in so many ways, so inspirational, and I don't know,
I just I'm worried. I'm concerned.

Speaker 3 (01:25:22):
She must be getting a big kickback from this endorsement.

Speaker 4 (01:25:25):
Which of course she is, duh. Her husband's on the board,
I just told you, and she's Serena. She doesn't take
a fucking endorsement deal under fucking five million dollars. I'm sure,
maybe more like that's the that's the level of excellence
that she's at, like and demands and people give to
her as a black woman. That's why I'm like, why
you don't even need this?

Speaker 2 (01:25:44):
You're rich.

Speaker 4 (01:25:45):
Your husband invented snapchat? Like what do you Oh I did, yes, yes,
he's one of the co founders of Snapchat. You didn't
need this check Like what the fuck are you doing?
Just shut up and take your medicine, get skinny, and
don't tell us about it like everybody else, like everyone else,

(01:26:06):
Like what the fuck I'm not telling everyone? Like oh
I got botox and I want to be the phrase
of bo talks like I barely want to fucking post
my doctor if she's gonna give me a discount, like shit,
like can we make it something else?

Speaker 2 (01:26:18):
It's me getting a facial, yes, facial me. Well, this
is the world and much we live in and welcome
to it. I'm struggling every day to exist here. But
apparently I'm supposed to be in this time and this time.

Speaker 4 (01:26:32):
So I thought about that. I was like, wonder why
God chose me to be here at this time time,
all this shit going on so specific, Like why didn't
I get to skip this one, like why not the
next one?

Speaker 2 (01:26:44):
Well, and you know what it is. They're every single
soul who's here at this time. There is a reason
we're we're supposed to fight against the machine.

Speaker 3 (01:26:54):
We have what it takes.

Speaker 2 (01:26:56):
We're here in this time because there is something that
we are supposed to birth that is supposed to shift it.
And I want you guys to remember that what is
inside of you that is supposed to be shifting and
you know, pushing this society forward. It's definitely not endorsing
GBLK or whatever the fuck, but there's something there and

(01:27:17):
that's how we know we have the strength and the tenacity.
I hope that's the right word to exist in this
time amongst war and crime, and hate and self hate
and highly highly criticized and shallowness and ignorance.

Speaker 4 (01:27:36):
That's why we have to it's more important than ever
that we take care of ourselves, that we lean into love, help,
the healing, the love, the connectedness to one another. We
have got to we need to connect like we've got
to connect. We've got to stay connected. There trying to disconnect.

Speaker 2 (01:27:52):
Us, especially with AI truly, I you know, like.

Speaker 4 (01:27:58):
It's it's we have to still go to the functions.
We have to call our friends in human and not
just fucking text each other. We got to get our
kids off this shit because they're the future. They're the
ones that are gonna have to be able to be
soldiers like we're these Our children have got to be
like peaceful soldiers, right, but like no pressure.

Speaker 2 (01:28:17):
But also yeah, I mean they have to know the
reality of what's actually going on, and like we have
to live in the reality. But also yeah, from a
loving space and go to the concert, do the art,
do the things that they're trying to replace us with,
and like you can't replace human connection and genuine creation.

Speaker 4 (01:28:36):
And like, yeah, I was gonna say I was having
this thought about AI today because I've been used. I
was so resistant to it for a really long time,
and then I've been using it more and more lately,
and then I've also been like staying abreast to like
how it's the destruction it's causing to our environment and
like real destruction, like bad. And also like how I

(01:28:59):
saw my baby daddy of like of course he like
popped up on an article my phone today and he
was talking about and I didn't even consider this, like
rappers using AI to write their raps, and how like
the art of rapping is like its gonna be a
dying art form because there's these AI rappers coming.

Speaker 2 (01:29:15):
Through shut up AI wraps.

Speaker 4 (01:29:18):
Yes, bitch, I mean it makes sense.

Speaker 2 (01:29:20):
I mean yeah, I just didn't consider it me neither.

Speaker 4 (01:29:25):
But I'm also thinking, like, how how numb our brains
are gonna go because we're not doing any critical thinking.
We have a thought and that's about it. We have
a thought and then we put the thought in chat
shept and then it expands the consciousness until we do
not have consciousness, until we're fucking just dumb bodies roaming
around the earth like fucking robots.

Speaker 2 (01:29:47):
And there's gonna be a hybrid. It's it's gonna it's
creating a human AI.

Speaker 4 (01:29:51):
Hybrid for real, and then they're gonna But that's why
I feel like the aliens are waiting to see how
stupid we are. We gonna like be able to go
into like these other higher intelligence are we gonna get
advised to the higher intelligence, party out and burned down
and start all over again, do the over and over.

Speaker 3 (01:30:12):
If I was the aliens, I wouldn't let us in
the laughing at us.

Speaker 2 (01:30:17):
I would laugh at us too.

Speaker 3 (01:30:18):
I'm laughing us and I'm in this bitch like these
niggas are.

Speaker 2 (01:30:21):
Damn. Trump the other day said he's changing stuff in
the museums at the Smithsonian Simsonian.

Speaker 4 (01:30:28):
Wait, but wait, do you know why I'm too racist? No,
we said, talking about slavery.

Speaker 3 (01:30:33):
No, he said, because the America is the hottest country.
And he won't let that.

Speaker 2 (01:30:40):
I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. America's the hottest, the
hottest country. And why would we talk like this, like
we need to be more positive because America is the
hottest country, the hottest So if you haven't heard, America's
the hottest country. Bitches game with the program. So much

(01:31:02):
focus on slavery.

Speaker 3 (01:31:04):
So much fogs on favery, Like, come on, we're the
hottest country.

Speaker 2 (01:31:07):
Stop.

Speaker 4 (01:31:08):
We gotta remarket America. We gotta remarket. We're gonna make
it great again. And we're gonna remarket this bitch. We're
gonna raise slavery.

Speaker 2 (01:31:15):
Delay it.

Speaker 3 (01:31:16):
It doesn't look good on a reputation. Yeah, people are sealed.

Speaker 4 (01:31:21):
It see slavery being sealed.

Speaker 3 (01:31:25):
I mean, if he can do it, he's gonna do it.

Speaker 4 (01:31:26):
It's high thoughts. They're gonna, they're gonna slavery being sealed
a big shield document and anyone knows it seemed.

Speaker 1 (01:31:34):
To be a movie.

Speaker 4 (01:31:35):
They're burning book even though it ever existed.

Speaker 3 (01:31:37):
Oh my god, that's a good movie.

Speaker 4 (01:31:39):
And then what I'm saying, where black people don't even
know it existed, but they know their bodies are tellent
like reacting to think something.

Speaker 2 (01:31:45):
I mean, somewhere in the world black people, there's a
black person who doesn't really know about it. There's there's
black people our age right now who don't Did you
watch the Amaza Bitch in small doses? Because I was
getting pissed the fuck off and that, and that's what
I mean. There are black people that exist right now
that do not understand the severity of American history to

(01:32:10):
the African American history, and that is what that's what
they're trying to promote so that we think that black
people won't shut the fuck up about it, and it's
it wasn't that bad, and it advanced us, and everyone
had slavery just like it everywhere, cattle slavery, No biggie,
everybody relaxed.

Speaker 3 (01:32:26):
Keep comes the hottest country.

Speaker 2 (01:32:30):
We're fucked. Sorry, never mind being positive positivity. At this point,
you might as well just like rock out with your
balls out and go hard on the pleasure and like
don't go too I mean, like don't kill yourself, but
just like have fun, bitches, because America is the hottest

(01:32:51):
country and Slavery's files are getting sealed soon, So.

Speaker 4 (01:32:57):
Get out one this one piece of advice. Guy. Guys,
if you don't stop buying land in America, stop trying
to buy and own here, just start thinking big, bitch.
You gotta think big bitch. You know what I think
the aliens you're not even gonna be thinking big. You're
gonna like actually probably spend less money, get virtual, do

(01:33:20):
what you gotta do whatever, Only fans, TikTok. Just figure
it out, figure out how you can.

Speaker 2 (01:33:26):
Get the fuck out of here, you know what. I
just you know, I hadn't thought about this from an
economical standpoint before, but now with the recession on the
rise and America being the hottest country, only fans. I mean, like,
if you're successful, like the sex industry might be the
only thing that's not going to be fucked when everything
else goes down.

Speaker 4 (01:33:45):
I mean, you know they're gonna they're gonna fuck that too.

Speaker 2 (01:33:48):
Okay, Oh, you're right, because there's AI porn. Now there's
AI porn, and eventually they're gonna fuck that too.

Speaker 4 (01:33:52):
Like no, they're gonna like govere governor, gover, govert andize governor.

Speaker 2 (01:33:58):
I'm a high as hell government.

Speaker 4 (01:34:01):
The government is going to control only sands, mark my words. Okay,
you see that Trump announced that that now the government
owns ten percent of Intel, you.

Speaker 2 (01:34:10):
Know, like in quick the computer problem. Wow, who does
a government?

Speaker 4 (01:34:15):
The government?

Speaker 2 (01:34:16):
Yeah? Why I don't know.

Speaker 4 (01:34:19):
But Trump negotiated the deal, baby, because he's the hot
Marketer negotiator. And I'm pretty sure that that means like
there's going to be control over a lot more of
what we're doing with our money, what we're doing with
our habits. Like eventually the government will own Apple. Like
if you can do that, then you can own ten

(01:34:39):
percent of Apple, Then you can own ten percent of
you know what I mean? Like we have a privacy, Yeah,
there's no, there's privacy is done. It's even like why
have you put a privacy clause on an app at
this point? Like you signed your life away? When I
saw that shit about global global entry, global entry or
TSA global entry. Then you basically signed away your rights

(01:35:03):
like they can stop you. They have all your information,
they're tracking you now me us, Yeah, we are us.
The only good thing going for us is that we
do have property outside of the country. Now it's just
time to build on it, bitch.

Speaker 2 (01:35:16):
I'm thinking we'll have a better chance that the aliens
take us if we're not even on American soil, they
may consider it.

Speaker 3 (01:35:21):
I also heard recently that I feel.

Speaker 4 (01:35:23):
Like Costa Rica's last on the list at Costa Rica.
Maybe Africa, like Africa, has like this protective orb around it.

Speaker 3 (01:35:31):
News flash, the aliens are black.

Speaker 2 (01:35:37):
Okay, Yeah, just just sot everybody to know.

Speaker 3 (01:35:43):
It's true.

Speaker 4 (01:35:45):
Okay, I mean, what's what's your theory there?

Speaker 2 (01:35:48):
My theory is that Africa is the oldest civilization. The
oldest are like the oldest, the oldest first people were black.
And if you think about us not knowing, first of all,
they shrunk Africa on the map to confuse everybody. Second
of all, they still don't know how the fucking pyramids
got there. Indigenous and black people came from a different

(01:36:10):
star seed and everything else.

Speaker 4 (01:36:13):
Every I feel like there's black people from Earth and
from I feel like it was a collaboration.

Speaker 3 (01:36:19):
Yeah, it was a collaboration.

Speaker 4 (01:36:20):
But the thing because then, because then why would we
grow from? Why are we connected to mother nature? There
has to be a connection between us.

Speaker 2 (01:36:26):
We're a hybrid of this, of this, this extraterrestrial and
whatever else was here on We're a hybrid to this atmosphere. Yes,
I mean I also heard that there is an ancient
civilization of extraterrestrial that looked like white Jesus. So there's
probably a couple of looks in the in the galaxies.
But we're the oldest and we dominate most of the

(01:36:48):
galaxies internationally, intergalactically. And I just want you guys to know,
when they come to get us white people, how you've
been acting, it may not fly in the other galaxy. Okay, Trump,
Racism does not exist outside of this gully behind.

Speaker 4 (01:37:07):
Leave him behind please and all his minions.

Speaker 3 (01:37:11):
I think I'm gonna go watch that movie look Up again.

Speaker 4 (01:37:14):
No, oh my god, that movie stressed me out. Now
I want to go watch Ancient Aliens.

Speaker 2 (01:37:18):
Wait, what's the what's the other one where they have
like a party because it's the Last Days and channing
to get him was in it?

Speaker 3 (01:37:24):
Maybe maybe I watched this in it that's a little
bit funnier.

Speaker 2 (01:37:27):
That one's a little funny look up was that it
was too it was it was too real. It was
like a satire, but it was true with Leonardo DiCaprio. Yeah, anyway,
I hope this didn't give you more anxiety. I hope
listening to Good Moms this Wednesday, you know, brought you down.
I hope that you say hi to your mom and
that you love her, and that everybody in your life

(01:37:49):
that maybe you have resistance too. I hope this episode
reminds you just just soften. We're all human, we're all
going through shit, we all are having experience, and we're
here to be connected in real life, not to get
further from each other, to be closer to each other
and closer to ourselves. So if there is space to
grow and expand, I invite you to do that and

(01:38:12):
lean in. We love you.

Speaker 3 (01:38:14):
Do we have affirmation.

Speaker 4 (01:38:22):
The aliens are coming rock out with your balls.

Speaker 3 (01:38:26):
I like that one.

Speaker 2 (01:38:27):
I really support that the aliens are coming rock out
with your balls out.

Speaker 3 (01:38:33):
Yep, yeah yeah. Do we need to pull a card?

Speaker 4 (01:38:36):
I have one?

Speaker 3 (01:38:37):
Or do you have them in front of you or
they're in the living room, but I have some right here. Okay,
hopefully do that for tearot time.

Speaker 4 (01:38:45):
Let's just take a deep breath, take a deep cleansing
breath to reset the energy.

Speaker 2 (01:39:07):
So glad to be here in this lifetime, breathing with
my health, with my family. I'm so grateful. We have
so much to be grateful for. And let's remember that
every day.

Speaker 4 (01:39:22):
Lashay mm hmmm, one fell out of the deck. What
is it? So full? Five of cups?

Speaker 2 (01:39:34):
Let me look it up, baby, Oh, six of cups?

Speaker 4 (01:39:37):
Wow? And I wonder I'm going to get my Roman
numerals together, right.

Speaker 3 (01:39:41):
It's a it's a it's like a a numerology of
the past, like is advantage.

Speaker 4 (01:39:48):
I mean it makes sense, you know. Want to get
confused with the four and the six the V because the.

Speaker 2 (01:39:54):
Four is the V before four and after? Yeah? Yeah, okay.
Six of cups. Tarot card meanings revisiting the past, childhood memories, innocents,
joy with the it fell out of the deck, y'all,
Oh my goodness. The six of cups is a card

(01:40:14):
that takes you back to the happy memories from your past,
whether as a child, teenager, or young adult. You may
simply be revisiting those memories in your mind. Or you
may travel back to your childhood home or reconnect with
your childhood friends. You could go to a high school
reunion or reconnect with an old buddy at chep.

Speaker 4 (01:40:33):
My high school reunions in like two weeks, Oh yeah,
my twenty year what the fuck?

Speaker 2 (01:40:37):
Okay one a teenage sweetheart or past lever may turn
up again. These connections bring you a sense of joy
and happiness as you reminisce over all the fun times
you had together. Take this occasion to explore whether you
still have a lot in common and if you wish
to continue the relationship now. It shows often the Six
of Cups often shows an increased level of harmony and

(01:40:59):
cooperation in your relationships. You're ready to give and receive
without expectation. You're also willing to give each other the
benefit of the doubt. Having moved on from challenging emotions
of the Five of Cups, it's time. It's time to
turn over a new leaf and start afresh from a
more positive place. It invites you to touch, get in
touch with your inner child, and experience the fun, freedom,

(01:41:21):
and innocence that comes with being a young child again.
You might like to sit down with an adult coloring book,
dance like no one is watching, play your favorite childhood games,
or spend more time happy around happy children. When you
give yourself permission to be playful, spontaneous, and creative, you
connect more with your authentic self and your intuition. Oh wow, wait,

(01:41:42):
hold on one more thing. The six of cups can
also refer to child children in your life. It can
suggest a pregnancy, perhaps twins, chill a bird.

Speaker 4 (01:41:53):
We don't need to read this part.

Speaker 2 (01:41:55):
Okay, never mind, never mind.

Speaker 4 (01:41:58):
If you want to learn more, okay, Bitty Taro dot com.

Speaker 2 (01:42:04):
Okay, well, we've been talking for almost two hours. That
wasn't the plan, but apparently we had a lot to say.
We missed you, guys, and I love you.

Speaker 4 (01:42:15):
I love you too, and make sure you follow us.
Make sure you leave a review for this episode. You
can find us at Good Mom's Underscore Bad Choices on Instagram,
and make sure you follow the Good Fibe retreat. We
are announcing our twenty twenty six retreats very very very
very soon, and we only announce, well not only, but
we announced first to our newsletter and trips be selling

(01:42:38):
out in the newsletter, y'all, So don't sleep on the newsletter,
and make sure you go to Good Momsbad Choices dot
com to check out everything good Moms.

Speaker 2 (01:42:47):
See you later, bye, and also rate and review this
episode wherever you are, wherever you listen.

Speaker 3 (01:42:53):
It means a lot to us.

Speaker 2 (01:42:54):
Thank you. Bye. Yeah, I'm been so good, can't you.

Speaker 7 (01:43:00):
I went through a drought, that's until I found out
well may might have been known earth. I used to
be broken hell, now got the blues in to like
beyoncey just hell throat shot or pop in his cow
wearing their voices.

Speaker 3 (01:43:10):
Patriarchy kept it in the box.

Speaker 2 (01:43:12):
To its flots.

Speaker 7 (01:43:13):
Women put the pee and powers so it's pointless. They
want me to be good, so I make bad choices.
Bad mom, not a bad mom, but a bad mom.
It's in on the cannabis in their Bathbone walked in
bossls cap and I blew his cat balls. Hot dog.

Speaker 4 (01:43:27):
Now I'm immune to the cat called Herbie and no
waisted straight to it like a dollar sign.

Speaker 2 (01:43:31):
Mother, rent the lover when too.

Speaker 7 (01:43:33):
It is like a water sign where you're rent the
winter essential will when the summertime. I do what doll
ain't No one that needs to run it by

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Erica Dickerson

Jamilah Mapp

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