Milah's New Podcast : Love Like This

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome back to another week of Good Mom's Bad Choices.
Except this week is a very special week because I
have a special episode for you. I'm sharing with you
my other podcast with my love called love Like. This
is all about love, the beginning, the middle of the end,
how to investigate long term healthy love. This episode is

(00:20):
featuring to hear in Far and more and before I go,
I have a very special announcement. This weekend, Saturday, July
sixth is my birthday celebration. If you're in the LA area,
click the link of this episode description. We are teaming
up with Susia NYC for another play party. It's Midsummer
night themed, It's magical, it's mystical. DJ Lizzie Jeff will

(00:42):
be on the ones and twoes. Come have fun, come dance,
come drink, and I hope to see you there.

Speaker 2 (00:48):
Enjoy Bye, my.

Speaker 3 (00:55):
Like this. By the way, the MMF was, it was just.

Speaker 2 (01:03):
It was another question that she was there but not
really not in my mind. Did you get compersion? I
was like, honestly, I wasn't really paying at.

Speaker 4 (01:14):
She was like selfish, caught up in the moment. Anyway,
what's good, y'all? Welcome back to another episode of love
like this. I'm the one and only, big did bad
bitch Orlando Roy singing across from me is my beautiful
almost to be your wife, the one? And Nolan Mila
maps Hi baby Hi.

Speaker 5 (01:34):
That's a beautiful fucking intro. Hilarious.

Speaker 4 (01:41):
Oh you want to hear on my a ks? Yes,
it's actually an art. Okay, welcome back, everybody. I'm Orlando
Roy a ka Orlando a Kate, A big did bad
bitch A ka nick a.

Speaker 6 (01:54):
K a.

Speaker 4 (01:58):
O.

Speaker 6 (01:59):
Don't me laugh, don't me laugh, don't.

Speaker 4 (02:00):
Be laugh the big dave bad bitch think nick nick
I'm the CEO of HO and I'm backpacking the circumcised cracking.

Speaker 3 (02:09):
Yeah that's that's that face, right. But you know what's crazy?
The same ship that makes you do.

Speaker 7 (02:18):
That now, the same ship that made him holler because
I like that.

Speaker 2 (02:28):
I said he's weird. He's a weird one.

Speaker 8 (02:30):
I still feel the same way he's like.

Speaker 6 (02:35):
I guess I still give.

Speaker 2 (02:38):
Somebody.

Speaker 1 (02:39):
It seemed to come highly recommended.

Speaker 4 (02:46):
She got she got a direct review from this girl
that I used to be working with.

Speaker 6 (02:51):
The girl was.

Speaker 4 (02:52):
Basically on some like so I think he's trying to
have a threesome right here, but you know, he hadn't
been fucking me in a while because he don't want
to really commit. Basically, they were best friends that she
just snapped and went crazy on Mila on the first
meeting of Mila, like, I don't know what you're trying
to do, but me and ORLANDA been fucking around, so
I think he's trying to.

Speaker 6 (03:08):
Have a three.

Speaker 4 (03:09):
So it was like, whoa, how did you just switch
up on me like this, I'm gonna find out what
that dick doing.

Speaker 3 (03:19):
And it was like, looks for.

Speaker 5 (03:22):
The invite, Thanks for the update.

Speaker 1 (03:24):
No thanks, I'm going to get it on a different name,
but now that you mentioned it, I am going to
get it.

Speaker 5 (03:30):
Get weird ass Nick number twenty seven, The two Dude.

Speaker 3 (03:38):
B DBB.

Speaker 1 (03:40):
A little strange but seems okay.

Speaker 4 (03:45):
And we want to introduce some really good friends that
I personally have just recently met since I came to LA.

Speaker 6 (03:51):
But we've been hanging out. We've been chilling.

Speaker 4 (03:53):
They have been entertaining and hilarious to hear and farn more.

Speaker 6 (03:57):
Please give a round of a plus.

Speaker 5 (04:00):
Thank you.

Speaker 2 (04:04):
Lord to the Story podcast.

Speaker 6 (04:07):
How You're doing today? How are y'all doing?

Speaker 5 (04:11):
I'm good like y'all. Just being around y'all, that's always
a good time. Yes, I'm falling in love. I'm happy
with this has happened.

Speaker 1 (04:19):
I agree, I agree, I can hang out with them.
You know, it's so hard to find adult friends. And
then also it's it's hard to find like couples that
are cool because if you a lot of couples are
not happy, so then you be around happy couples and
then it just like it's not a good combination. And
also high energy couples because these niggas here.

Speaker 3 (04:41):
I have a lot of energy.

Speaker 2 (04:49):
In particular. I mean me and fair In are pretty
high energy ourselves.

Speaker 3 (04:52):
Yes, very chill.

Speaker 2 (04:56):
Yes, I got sul. I just realized you're a cool cat.

Speaker 4 (05:02):
He's a cool because I definitely went out with to
here before until he was like, yeah, I'm going to
another spot. I'm gonna go see a friend. You want
to come with it? I was like sure by the
time we leave that spot. So what happened was I
know a DJ at this other spot that we can
go to, so you down, I'm all right, fuck it.

Speaker 6 (05:19):
You know after we leave this spot, do you know
another friend?

Speaker 4 (05:23):
I'm gonna just stop by and say, Hi, maybe drink
after we are done with that.

Speaker 6 (05:27):
I ain't done yet.

Speaker 4 (05:28):
After we are done with that, he goes, you know,
back at the last spot we just left from.

Speaker 3 (05:33):
I think we just it's something to eat.

Speaker 7 (05:35):
I'm a good hold said, you're ready to go. I
can get your car and you back, but I gotta
make this one more to roll.

Speaker 3 (05:42):
Let's do it.

Speaker 7 (05:44):
Listen, look, wait, listen. We ain't gonna wait to know lunes.
I don't do lunes.

Speaker 3 (05:49):
We're gonna eat good, We're gonna drink. We listen, We're
gonna have a good time.

Speaker 5 (05:53):
Man, I do good, eating good.

Speaker 3 (05:57):
You know what I'm saying. It was it was a
good time.

Speaker 2 (05:59):
Me and by.

Speaker 1 (06:00):
I was like, he's gonna be right back because ain't
nothing going on in La. So I was like, whatever,
he go out, because you're going to be right back
home to mama. Two thirty in the morning.

Speaker 4 (06:15):
Fine without me, right the boys are out.

Speaker 5 (06:18):
I'm so used to it.

Speaker 7 (06:20):
I just has the biggest case of oh yeah.

Speaker 5 (06:24):
I don't like to be left out, but I'm used
to being left out.

Speaker 7 (06:29):
Even if she got something else to do, she has
a whole advent that she'll be in you without me
you went without nigga you at work.

Speaker 5 (06:39):
You should have canceled to fit me.

Speaker 2 (06:43):
I agree, I agree. See she gets it, I do.
But I appreciate you, guys. I appreciate her.

Speaker 1 (06:48):
You found the double date friendships and and and the
and the bromance. That's happening because many friends many.

Speaker 3 (06:56):
Hard to make friends. I told you I thought Landa
was trying to.

Speaker 4 (06:59):
Fuck I do be treating my home boys like I'm
trying to his niggas be cooking, and you want to come.

Speaker 3 (07:05):
You hungry, my brother, you want to.

Speaker 1 (07:08):
He was concerned you was trying to fun, like you
trying to feel like a couple is like a swinging thing.

Speaker 9 (07:14):
But I thought he was just I thought he thought
I was cute, and then he's just been a good friend.

Speaker 7 (07:19):
I was like a little bit like, bitch, I'm cute.

Speaker 3 (07:25):
Why are you trying to fuck.

Speaker 2 (07:31):
Nig in the city.

Speaker 4 (07:32):
You're not gonna cook for me and send me home
this nigga, Why nigga?

Speaker 3 (07:38):
I brought two bottles away because I'm cute.

Speaker 4 (07:43):
You know I don't cook with a shirt on too,
so everybody him and Duranto, but like, yeah, come on,
we're gonna cook chefing it for god.

Speaker 2 (07:49):
Boys hungry, I'm gonna die. I eat this salad.

Speaker 1 (07:53):
I came back, I said, where do you see.

Speaker 4 (07:57):
Sal You smitched at the smellad. You wasn't gonna eat
the sud like you thought you was gonna eat the South.

Speaker 7 (08:01):
I doubled back for the salad, though, Remember it was
when it was you and Duran. I doubled back for
some more sound when I got the reup on it.

Speaker 6 (08:09):
You ain't initially go for the salad first.

Speaker 3 (08:11):
All you wanted to show off. Anyway, The point is
my shortcomings, niggas.

Speaker 4 (08:24):
That's how you gotta make friends. Man, you gotta your friends.
I caught my friends like that. And when I was
in Brooklyn, it was always I was always asking my homeboys, Yo,
I want to go to movies like we out, I'll
be in the movie theater like this. Niggas always outroas
you see one of my niggas.

Speaker 7 (08:39):
Learn how to be a better friend from firing. Because
I didn't court my friends. I impressed them and then
I became elusive, like I wanted every time we hung
out and to be a thing. So like I was
show you an amazing time, and then you wouldn't hear
from me for like a.

Speaker 5 (08:51):
Moment, and it was like no deep conversations ever, so
he wouldn't even really know anything about it. You wouldn't
know anything about him. And oh my god, we buffed
hand over that quite a bit.

Speaker 1 (09:07):
I wonder how many niggas are hanging out with niggas
for like a significant amount of time and don't know
really about them, but they're going through.

Speaker 7 (09:15):
We hang out in the bar or something like that.
We don't have the relationship. We just like the music
louds I'll use that as a cover. We can't really
talk here because me and Ortlanda, we.

Speaker 6 (09:23):
Said at the bar, we got to the third spot,
so let's go over there. We're gonna talk.

Speaker 10 (09:27):
Every playing.

Speaker 7 (09:30):
Yeah you got yeah about me, I'm gonna get.

Speaker 3 (09:38):
Put the music up loud.

Speaker 5 (09:51):
Car not killing oh my, oh my.

Speaker 6 (09:58):
God, because I was definitely in that car.

Speaker 4 (10:00):
And it's funny it was talking about this MF conversation
because I was in the car with to hear, and
I was like, you know, for some reason, actually turns
down for saying, you know, it's kind of hard when
I think about it, to bring in another guy, but
I think it's much easier to bring another girl, what
you think conversation.

Speaker 3 (10:21):
Thing, And I was like, I guess we're gonna be friends.

Speaker 2 (10:27):
I'm glad that you were.

Speaker 1 (10:28):
You were having personal conversations about my my endeavor.

Speaker 5 (10:34):
Your ambition.

Speaker 7 (10:34):
But you know what, it's necessary because it's it's very difficult,
like you said, to find adult friends, especially when you
don't have a traditional job. So when you are like
running past people, uh, seeing them randomly and stuff like that,
to take the next step and invite somebody over for
dinner or invite them out for drinks or something like that,

(10:56):
it takes a lot of energy, takes a lot of courage,
it takes a lot of vulnerability. And then to build
on that if you you know, from those interactions you
find that you guys have similarities, to build on that
takes even more energy and effort on both sides. So like,
if it's not reciprocated, it's like it's embarrassing, it's hurtful.

Speaker 5 (11:13):
It's all that, Yeah, don't make somebody a priority. That's
making me up.

Speaker 7 (11:25):
So to go from that, and then to be in
the all life space, it's even more vulnerable, especially with guys,
because there's always that masculinity hurdle that we have to
get over it. But in the all life, it's like
you have to acknowledge the masculinity, but you can't like
that can't be your defining characteristic, Like you'll never be

(11:46):
able to have an MMF if you have somebody that's
too masculine or hybridmaskm Like, ain't no motherfucker doing all this.

Speaker 3 (11:54):
Open to that idea.

Speaker 7 (11:55):
So like it it's dope to hear that from another
brother that you know it's obviously but also very nurturing,
very loving because it teaches me things.

Speaker 5 (12:04):
Yeah, because you don't have to be one or the other.
And that's where the it comes in at, like I
have to be so tough so I can't be vulnerable
and women are the same way around other women, Like
it's not it displays different from us, but we it's
for the same reasons, like that feeling like oh, I'm

(12:26):
kind of like I'm not good enough or I gotta
show her up, or I gotta even being caddy and
talking about some chick to your dude, you know, because
you're just trying to trying to lower his opinion. So
stuff like that, So like, yeah, it happens on both sides.

Speaker 2 (12:44):
That's true.

Speaker 1 (12:44):
And just for the people listening, old life means alternative,
anti lift lifestyle.

Speaker 3 (12:53):
Just for the people listening means alternative.

Speaker 2 (13:00):
I'm trying to be an expert. I'm trying to be
a lifestyle expert.

Speaker 5 (13:05):
You just cut that part out.

Speaker 4 (13:07):
Don't give it a sensor bleaf for mad takes all life.

Speaker 3 (13:18):
It's gonna be great.

Speaker 4 (13:19):
Your sexylogist, Ben, you ain't got nothing approval there you go.

Speaker 2 (13:24):
You know I'm the B D, S, M and kink lifestyle. No,
I don't, you know.

Speaker 1 (13:30):
I believe the A K is like an East Coast thing.
I don't think that's like I'm just Mila.

Speaker 4 (13:36):
That's just pussy, that's just statty Caddies. I am Fatty Caddy,
Statty Caddies and that, and you live up to that name.

Speaker 3 (13:49):
In the middle of.

Speaker 6 (13:51):
Heavy pussy.

Speaker 1 (13:53):
You know what, they don't have panties. This is a
real issue. We need a p s A for this.
They don't really make panties with like with where the
pussy is big enough, one lip is hanging out.

Speaker 5 (14:05):
It's like what the fun I used to be laying
on the bed and panties back when I wore them.

Speaker 7 (14:11):
And he'll be like, what are your pussy lips out?

Speaker 3 (14:15):
They both they don't stay because.

Speaker 1 (14:18):
Sady caddy panty And that's I'm really I'm pushing that
for them, advocating for pussy panties, panties for the fat
pussy girls, you know.

Speaker 5 (14:29):
But also just not wearing them to act. That's what
I advocate for.

Speaker 1 (14:35):
Back to what you were saying about. Okay, so you guys,
we went to farn And to hear in the lifestyle.
If you haven't noticed there, if.

Speaker 4 (14:42):
You haven't noticed by his shorts crop top, if you
if you haven't judged the book.

Speaker 3 (14:52):
I was first sing in college, first single in college.

Speaker 7 (14:56):
Ain't nobody ask you shirts?

Speaker 2 (15:01):
No, I'm just saying because they said it.

Speaker 1 (15:02):
When you meet another man in the alt life, you
know you're standing the big words, you know, the cool words.

Speaker 6 (15:10):
So let's start from the beginning. How does how did y'all? Like? Well,
first of how did y'all meet? Right? How does meeting
come together?

Speaker 5 (15:19):
We went to college together.

Speaker 3 (15:21):
She needed some change for that's the fuck up.

Speaker 5 (15:25):
Every time he tells the story, he tells his bullshit
story about how I needed Buddy to catch the bus
and I just asked.

Speaker 7 (15:33):
Him He's like, I can't just give it, but like what.

Speaker 3 (15:40):
I got a back course and need some sweeping sexual turn.
I was like, no, no, just laid off the housekeeper.

Speaker 2 (15:49):
He came.

Speaker 5 (15:51):
Yeah, he just came over to me, introduced himself and
invited me. Yes, in Saint Louis invited me to a
show that he was having, and comedy show.

Speaker 3 (16:04):
Yeah, she didn't come.

Speaker 5 (16:05):
I did not go, and I was like, uh he,
I won't even know this. And then he saw me again.

Speaker 3 (16:11):
Hey, hey, hey, take my number down. Call a real nigga. Right.
She didn't call again. I was like, give me your
motherfuck number.

Speaker 5 (16:23):
He gave me the same day.

Speaker 3 (16:27):
Hello, yeah, can that be the fair?

Speaker 10 (16:30):
No?

Speaker 3 (16:30):
Patrice Patrese, Who pat that's a middle Patrese who? I
was like, did she give me a motherfucking the house?
I was a ball smash.

Speaker 5 (16:45):
I was catching the bus to school.

Speaker 3 (16:47):
You think I got a cell phone.

Speaker 5 (16:50):
In two thousand and five, that was a luxury.

Speaker 3 (16:53):
I had a lot of stuff.

Speaker 7 (16:54):
I had my own place. So we started hanging out.
Two weeks in. I spend those why.

Speaker 3 (17:01):
Yes, she was like I need to talk and I'm like, oh,
she's finish telling me. She love to daughter two weeks,
she was like, I'm too much pregnant.

Speaker 5 (17:19):
Yeah, wow, nice And.

Speaker 3 (17:25):
Because some people missed the response.

Speaker 5 (17:28):
Like he was like, oh okay, well that don't change
the way I feel about you.

Speaker 3 (17:38):
I had already took care of another niggas baby, so
I was already presnant.

Speaker 2 (17:42):
Told me about that.

Speaker 10 (17:49):
I know just what to do, catching what they need,
like you need a.

Speaker 2 (18:02):
And she was honest about it.

Speaker 3 (18:05):
We hadn't even had sex at this point.

Speaker 1 (18:13):
You became sexually active in your relationships while you're pregnant
while I was pregnant, So did you have a relationship
with the dad at all?

Speaker 3 (18:21):
No?

Speaker 5 (18:21):
So, actually we split up before I even found out
I was pregnant, and then it was like ship, I
don't feel like dealing with this nigga. So I was
on the fence about whether or not I was going
to terminate. And the only reason I waited as the
two weeks to even tell him is because I was

(18:43):
still in limbo and it was like, Okay, this is
decision I've made, so I need to tell Yeah, so
I need to tell him. So after that, told him,
told my mom, told my aunt, and I was like
anybody else after that, Uh, you find out when the
you find you see the pictures?

Speaker 2 (19:03):
So and then he did you expect him to be like,
I'm done?

Speaker 5 (19:08):
I didn't. I was prepared for all of it, Like
I try not to ask questions that I'm not prepared
to be disappointed in the answer. So yeah, I was
fully prepared for it to go either way. And even
after that, I'm like, he don't really understand what he's
signing up for, because I don't even understand what the
fuck I just signed up for. So I kept trying

(19:30):
to push him away and he was not having.

Speaker 3 (19:38):
How about that stud the fact that he was already.

Speaker 9 (19:46):
Funny as he was cute, you know what I'm saying.
I was like, she's checking these boxes like a motherfuck.
I can see the puzzy like motherfuck. I was like,
what's it pledge to stay a little bit.

Speaker 2 (19:58):
Check daddy?

Speaker 3 (19:58):
I could do that.

Speaker 7 (19:59):
I can.

Speaker 5 (20:00):
Oh god, oh my god.

Speaker 4 (20:05):
I hold very similar too, because I was like, yes,
this single mom cool.

Speaker 6 (20:11):
I actually told me that. I was like, you know,
I don't do moms, right, are you cool?

Speaker 3 (20:14):
Tho?

Speaker 6 (20:15):
I'll hang out with you and chi like that.

Speaker 3 (20:17):
Oh.

Speaker 6 (20:18):
I had taste of that thing, and then I had
it again. Then I had about three more times that week.
I was like, hey, hey, what what you trying?

Speaker 4 (20:27):
Means she want karaoke? You think it's annoying? She got
to get the karaoke. Baby was gonna have to understand. Listen,
that little girl of Christmas right then and there putting
it on me.

Speaker 6 (20:40):
Was you talking about yeah, it'll do it to you? Man?
Oh my gosh, yep.

Speaker 5 (20:45):
He's the only day I thought she knows I was.
He was there, she was family.

Speaker 2 (20:52):
Did your fan did your family judge you? Or anybody
say anything to you? Because I feel like, you know.

Speaker 7 (20:57):
People's a couple of guys in my argus because I
was in the Cleeves one hundred hundred black men uh
in St.

Speaker 3 (21:03):
Louis a couple of people like you know, they gonna
think that was your your fuck right. I don't care
like I wear suits to school for this ship. I
wear suits, motherfucker.

Speaker 7 (21:18):
Or I had four jobs in college and I was
taking full credit hours. I been since I was fourteen
years old. I'm grown, nigga, man, I got I got
She fine as fuck.

Speaker 6 (21:30):
That's a fucking fact.

Speaker 4 (21:31):
Because I was walking around calling myself the big, big
bad bitch, being a step dad is not niggas worries
at this foot like niggas got three more, three or
four more things to judgement before.

Speaker 3 (21:42):
Big, big bad bitch is wild as fun. I'm gonna
put it out there every time you roll your eyes.

Speaker 5 (21:47):
It's not my fame, it's not your favorite.

Speaker 7 (21:51):
It's like I love hate it, and I love the
fact that he's just like confident in that. You're like, yeah,
that's it makes so much sense. But I did not
think it like I don't want to.

Speaker 4 (22:10):
Do it.

Speaker 6 (22:11):
It's fire, but do I want to?

Speaker 3 (22:13):
That's for him. That's I would take bad bitches like
I always got to be dressed up. You can't, never can.
I would go down with it. He's a bad bits
like I'm mad whatever I.

Speaker 6 (22:23):
Got anything, anything, Anything I put on.

Speaker 4 (22:29):
Nothings the foundation I look the best naked, so anything
I put on as a bonus.

Speaker 6 (22:36):
Talk about it.

Speaker 3 (22:38):
The door.

Speaker 6 (22:41):
Bitch, talk about you know what is standing on this.

Speaker 5 (22:45):
Listen, listen stupid. So to sum it up, that's how
we met.

Speaker 2 (22:58):
How have you guys been together?

Speaker 3 (22:59):
Now?

Speaker 5 (23:00):
The first seven years was like on and on twelve
five to twelve, I.

Speaker 3 (23:10):
Was talking about the little well since two thousand.

Speaker 5 (23:12):
And five, and we officially was like, okay, we're going
to be together in twenty twelve.

Speaker 7 (23:22):
As our church and I was in town doing a project.
And after I found it, we did not not spend
a day together.

Speaker 5 (23:30):
Every day we were together every second after that, I.

Speaker 7 (23:34):
Told my roommate the time, just getting serious. I think
you're gonna move out here. He's like, cool, we can
keep the place.

Speaker 2 (23:39):
Already moved out here.

Speaker 5 (23:40):
Yeah, he had moved out here like three years before
I did.

Speaker 7 (23:44):
Found a place and where we're at now and saved
there for a couple of years, and then we moved
around the corner to a better space.

Speaker 3 (23:50):
And you know there's been rockets, is there?

Speaker 4 (23:52):
So when would you say that, y'all love became like
a thing, when you'd be like, oh, I love this,
Because honestly, if a man telling me that, I told him,
man too much braining, he said, oh yeah, I'm stepping up.
I'm like, wow, this is love at first sight. There,
I've seen you many times, but now he's living first sight.
So when it's like the love and being in love
with each other becoming thing, wow, I think.

Speaker 5 (24:12):
We were very drawn to each other, like immediately immediately,
but it's so crazy because we never made it official ever,
So it was very much like you see him, you
see me type situation.

Speaker 7 (24:29):
But the.

Speaker 5 (24:33):
The love came when yeah, when I realized.

Speaker 7 (24:40):
I think it was like that first call you made
that you were in the grocery store and you were
asking me what I wanted you to buy to have
at your house for me. He was like, you like
those cookies, right, because I know you'd be craving those cookies.
I saw you you ate a lot of those.

Speaker 5 (25:00):
And and I always had water with me, like water
was the only thing I ever drank.

Speaker 7 (25:06):
And for what was that our first Valentine's Day, he
got me a gallon of water, but he used to
keep water at his place.

Speaker 5 (25:16):
For me all the time like that.

Speaker 6 (25:20):
Because I know how much you love water.

Speaker 5 (25:23):
It had a balloon on it. Simple but right, Oh
my goodness.

Speaker 7 (25:33):
But yeah, I was, like you said, it was always
drawn to I just really enjoyed the time m hm
we spent together.

Speaker 3 (25:41):
It was like it was.

Speaker 7 (25:42):
It was when I was probably the happiest because I
was going through I was I was dealing with a
lot of ship at the time. This is shortly after
I found out the kid wasn't mine and so I was,
I was, I was damaged good, but around her I
felt enough.

Speaker 3 (25:56):
So it was just it was just like I loved
that feeling and and.

Speaker 7 (26:01):
Yeah, I gave it the keys to my car and
my apartment because he would have a break in classes.

Speaker 3 (26:06):
So I was like, you just go to the crib
and you know, rest and eat and all of that
type of stuff.

Speaker 7 (26:10):
So uh, it was definitely like an and not an
instant trust, but like an instant familiar feeling with the
whole situation.

Speaker 3 (26:17):
She had me dancing at her pastor's wedding and a
leotard to it was a one piece. It was a
one piece.

Speaker 6 (26:29):
Yo, women will be having you doing some ship.

Speaker 7 (26:31):
Brolray dancing, slow interpretive dance, fluid motions, laid kicked out
all of this type of ship at the church in
front of this whole church ship knowing I sell drugs.

Speaker 3 (26:48):
It was wild as fun.

Speaker 6 (26:54):
Women have you doing some ship?

Speaker 4 (26:56):
The first week I met me, Look, I drove so
if anybody doesn't know the valley, yeah, I drove from
one side of the valley North Hollywood to Tapanga, the
other side of the valley, to get an ingredient to
cook iki in selfish from Mela. The whole time, I'm
on the phone arguing with a girl that i'm dating
back in New York, right, and she's like, you're on Instagram.

(27:20):
You're showing up some bitch on Instagram NonStop. You keep
calling me telling me you're gonna tell me what's up.
I keep calling texting this girl like, Yo, it's little
over here. I'm having a great time in La.

Speaker 6 (27:29):
I mayna hit you back to tell you tell you
the story.

Speaker 4 (27:31):
You keep calling me telling me a story, and I
keep going on Instagram and you're taking pictures with some bitch, right.
I thought you was going there to do the podcast.
I'm on the other phone like, why are you even
acting like this? I'm chilling.

Speaker 3 (27:43):
It's a good time.

Speaker 10 (27:44):
It's sunny California.

Speaker 4 (27:45):
Hey, my brother with an aki at. She's like, are
you cooking? I'm like, I'm just in the store, Yeah,
in the sawfish too.

Speaker 3 (27:51):
Are you making this bitch dinner.

Speaker 10 (27:55):
I'm on the phone like we gotta eat.

Speaker 3 (28:08):
That.

Speaker 1 (28:08):
This is a testimony though, niggas know when they like
someone and what they want. But just be like really
chasing niggas and doing the most improving yourself and honestly
that is the worst. That's like the worst direction to go,
because that's how you just run into some ship. You
don't need trying to force niggas, because even men know
when they like like some shit, and if they don't know,

(28:30):
they're not mature enough to want it and let them go. Anyway,
Even when I was single, I am I have never
been a press bitch for a relationship. Like I'm almost like, yeah,
stay away. I'm like, I'll be a hope for life
and I'll be fine.

Speaker 2 (28:44):
I have to a long term hose.

Speaker 1 (28:47):
I'm like, if I'm going to be in a relationship,
you have to explicitly choose me, and I have to
like you, which are both two things that you rarely see,
you know, like niggas acting right and also like me.
Liking you is like it requires a lot to want
to be around somebody. It feels better and lighter and
like it's actually fun and funny and I don't feel

(29:09):
bored to death and yes, but never.

Speaker 3 (29:12):
Want to hang around.

Speaker 5 (29:15):
Okay, oh yes, boring as ship, right, that's why you
end up playing like you guys something like.

Speaker 6 (29:27):
Tell us about yourself.

Speaker 2 (29:28):
Going to sleep at night. I'm like, oh, I can't
do this. For the rest of my life. He went
about eight thirty three nights in a row. He's old.

Speaker 4 (29:37):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (29:40):
I think you got an early morning. Wait six am. Ons.

Speaker 2 (29:45):
One time, this nigga I was dating, poor thing.

Speaker 1 (29:48):
We went to Palm Springs and we had done like
some mushrooms or I don't know what the funk we did.
This nigga passes out and like right on the concrete
in front of like about to slide open the door,
and I'm like holding his head and I was like all.

Speaker 2 (30:01):
I could think. I was like, this is a liability.

Speaker 1 (30:07):
Was like, I don't have enough space for this. I
already have a child, obviously a little old. He's passed out.

Speaker 5 (30:17):
This is a lie. This is a lot for me.

Speaker 2 (30:19):
I was like, this is why I don't like niggas.
That's too much. O. God, I'm a bitch. I'm a bitch.
I probably don't deserve love.

Speaker 5 (30:30):
No, no, I mean no, you're just not afraid I
mean of saying what people honestly think. I had a
similar situation and I had to take up somebody to
the hospital and while I was high, and I was like, shit,

(30:52):
like if this goes south, the ship storm that would happen,
like I just need everything to be okay. I don't
have time for this ship. I'm thinking about all the
repercussions on.

Speaker 1 (31:04):
Me, especially as a mom, like I'm already worried about
I already have a human to care about. So it's
just like I have to really funk with you to
also extend my care. And that's why it has to
be someone that has to really choose you, like I
don't care about that.

Speaker 2 (31:18):
I don't care you too much.

Speaker 1 (31:19):
Pregnant, I don't care your moving in right hey, no, no,
we're together, it's really going.

Speaker 2 (31:25):
Hard right now.

Speaker 4 (31:28):
Or you're a single mom, great, I'm single, I'm a
dad now it's late now.

Speaker 1 (31:35):
Yeah, just like, stop going against yourself ladies by choosing
niggas that are not choosing you.

Speaker 5 (31:44):
Women, be knowing too that we just don't be trusting
ourselves now.

Speaker 2 (31:48):
And also, him being a nice guy is not not enough.

Speaker 3 (31:52):
It's not enough.

Speaker 1 (31:53):
If he could be a nice guy and not be
your nigga, and that's fine, he could be still boring.
Stop trying to force nice niggas to be your nigga
because you think the niggas are slip chickens.

Speaker 2 (32:03):
They are, but the more you think that, the more
they will be.

Speaker 7 (32:09):
Always the best bad either I know, I know, women
or some women are typically drawn to safety because that
provides shelter, provide security, provides stability.

Speaker 3 (32:20):
But it all also provides going to be eight o'clock.

Speaker 2 (32:23):
It will also resentment.

Speaker 3 (32:26):
I want to go out, don't you want to go out?

Speaker 6 (32:27):
Like?

Speaker 7 (32:29):
We got five thousand, three count sheets in there, in
these wickering sheets and this goddamn twenty I got a
six a year run.

Speaker 2 (32:40):
You got to be clear about what your needs are
in a relationship.

Speaker 1 (32:44):
You do for wild ass niggas are there right now
because we belong together, you two and us, these four people.

Speaker 2 (32:52):
You Yes, niggas, you're wild.

Speaker 5 (32:56):
I say all the time, especially Bang and the in
the lifestyle when we're coming across people who aren't in it.
I'm not trying to I'm not trying to sell you
on it or force it or anything, right.

Speaker 7 (33:15):
Right, Yeah, teaching, because a lot of people, when you
don't know something about something, you automatically, for the most part,
go to the extremes.

Speaker 3 (33:25):
People hear lifestyle, you're just everybody right right, You've been
wanting to fuck me this whole time.

Speaker 5 (33:36):
I've brought it up to say, like if somebody doesn't
get it or it's not their thing, then that's fine.
I'm not trying to force anything on you. I'm not
trying to force the situation because guess what, there's other
people like who will willingly do it. And to that's
to your point of stop trying to force people who

(33:56):
don't fit you.

Speaker 3 (33:57):
To be with you.

Speaker 5 (33:59):
It's like, no, if they ain't fitting what you need,
then they ain't for you, like to find somebody else,
Like I just I'm just with you. I ain't never
been pressed.

Speaker 1 (34:09):
And honestly, I think a part of it people don't
feel comfortable being themselves, especially women, like we haven't been
It hasn't been safe to be like free in your fantasies,
even in insecurities and like I need reassurance or you know,
like these are the things that I need and want
or like I do have a fantasy of getting sucked
by two men, what do you think? Like usually that

(34:30):
means they're not gonna fuck with you anymore because now
you're a slut.

Speaker 7 (34:36):
But like then you're not my person, You're out, you know,
damn if I.

Speaker 2 (34:41):
Should have ruined it.

Speaker 5 (34:42):
I definitely right after we got engaged, like when and
on an even deeper like, I need you to really
know what you signed up for because we were only
officially a couple for a few months before we got engaged.

Speaker 1 (34:57):
Okay, so tell me when did you guys get engaged
and get married and how long had you known each
other at that point.

Speaker 5 (35:02):
By the time we got married, it had been eight years.

Speaker 7 (35:06):
So when she moved out June second, the third second,
June second, proposed July twenty seventh, married March seventeenth.

Speaker 1 (35:14):
Oh shit, so after that point, after you were like
were official, you moved out, then it was a wrap.

Speaker 7 (35:20):
I wasn't moving home out to be no girlfriend. I
knew how important family was to her, like family.

Speaker 1 (35:25):
Is everything in her And at that point when she
moved it was eight guys known each other eight years,
and you had been living in LA for three.

Speaker 7 (35:30):
This is whenever, like right after we had reconnected. We
reconnected I think January.

Speaker 5 (35:35):
Like eighth, right after the New year founder we.

Speaker 3 (35:39):
Was together the whole time.

Speaker 7 (35:40):
Time went back to La, told my roommate and all
that shit flew back out there. Told her my roommate
was that I'm moving started looking for an apartment. She
came out, checked out the apartment that we first moved into.
She went back home to get everything together.

Speaker 3 (35:54):
She flew out.

Speaker 7 (35:54):
I was like, I had already talked to her family
about like Rain's ezzes and all of that. So I
waited till my team, your Anversy High school reunion went
to that. I was a class president, so I had
put everything together, got the band and the singers and
all of that. They sing our favorite song proposed right there,
Boom started playing for the wedding. Sister got us a
wedding planner. Because we did the wedding in Saint Louis.

(36:16):
We're all living in LA, so when we flew to town,
everything was already set. We spent the whole day taking
pictures because I had book a photographer the whole day.
And then we did the wedding, did a wishing well,
give us money us no gifts, flew back to LA
went straight to the honeymoon.

Speaker 5 (36:31):
It was just like that, actually went straight to your audition.

Speaker 2 (36:34):
Oh yeah, ladies and gentlemen, a real man.

Speaker 7 (36:40):
That whole ship five thousand dollars, everything, flights included, dress
included everything.

Speaker 3 (36:45):
I called it, every fucking favorite. The most of most
expensive thing was a photographer. It was on thousand dollars.
Everything else I got hook ups for Hello, listen.

Speaker 1 (36:56):
Absolutely Resourcaul is expensive.

Speaker 7 (37:04):
Right right back to theb. It's like, give us money,
give us money. I have vlogged the whole thing. So
I was recording, like this is the ring, got this
room specifically, it's got the jacuzzie in the room.

Speaker 3 (37:18):
I've blogged home, it's actually on YouTube.

Speaker 6 (37:20):
So it was, dope, we need to do. What do
you thing a reaction video?

Speaker 1 (37:28):
Getting into the lifestyle. How was that conversation and how
long have you been in it since being married?

Speaker 5 (37:33):
So the part of the story I was about to
tell No, I did it the after we got engaged.
That night, we just I told him that, you know,
I'm attracted to women. I've had a threesome. I like,

(37:56):
infidelity is not an issue for me. It's honesty that is,
you know. So it's like if you traveling out on
the road, I'm not tripping, you know, just stay safe,
don't bring no shit home and keeping it. He was
like no to that, but yes to threesome and so yeah,

(38:17):
and fast forward, like we kept like touching on the
conversation for like the next five four or five years,
and then eventually we decided to try being open separate. Yeah,
and that was yeah, that was the beginning.

Speaker 4 (38:38):
Yeah, I saw like, I like seeing the this part
of like the work that's being done, because this is
the fun part, right. People don't realize that there is
a plethora of like conversations and like situation that you
have to be in before you get to the partents
like oh, y'all look like y'all having a good time.

Speaker 7 (39:00):
Though, the work had to be put in for anybody
watching and toil with the idea. If you're going through
something in your relationship, this isn't gonna save it without
putting the work of communication, transparency, vulnerability, fellas. If you
have a hard time expressing yourself emotionally or mentally or whatever,
this is not gonna help it.

Speaker 3 (39:19):
You have to work through those hurdles first.

Speaker 7 (39:21):
You have to be able to have a conversation without
getting mad to storming off, a punching the wall andything
like that.

Speaker 3 (39:25):
You have to be not saying I punched the wall,
but I would walk off. I would walk off, And I.

Speaker 7 (39:29):
Require to be ten dollars for the next three four days,
and you have to work through that shit before you
try to do something like this, because this requires.

Speaker 3 (39:37):
So much case, so much trans so so much forthcoming.

Speaker 7 (39:41):
You can't be like, oh, I'm just ain't gonna tell
her that, no, because if you finds out then it
puts everything else to risk. So it requires so much
talking and communication transports. You have to do the work
prior to getting to this, and then it's still gonna
be work to do. But the preliminary is essential for
this found foundation.

Speaker 1 (40:01):
For this to work, you really have to have like
a great relationship. You have to yours has to be
in like pristine placement. You have to be like a
great point in your relationship. You really love each other,
everything's going great, and this is like huh, you know,
it's like there should be really no core issues and
trust and communication and vulnerability or else it probably won't work.

Speaker 4 (40:22):
Yeah, you don't want to get into some ship and
then afterwards like you're tight, like or even if you are,
you want to know how to like work.

Speaker 2 (40:28):
Through it and exactly situations. And I was tight and
that is not. Yeah, you.

Speaker 3 (40:37):
Can't see I'm the whole.

Speaker 8 (40:40):
Relationship I have real right, right, I can't it's.

Speaker 2 (40:58):
Herited yeah, I'm through generational trauma.

Speaker 5 (41:03):
Yeah yeah, that is still my.

Speaker 7 (41:07):
Immediate go to is like, oh I feel a way
yeah yeah, oh yeah, And then it's like where, why from?

Speaker 5 (41:16):
Why? Where is it coming from? And once I talk
myself through it, then all of a sudden, I'm sitting
there cool as hell, like.

Speaker 3 (41:23):
Let me, but we still gotta have to talk about it.

Speaker 5 (41:25):
But yeah, we don't talk about it. And that's another thing.

Speaker 7 (41:27):
When I was like, you're still gonna be work to do,
Like when you have the fun nights or the trips
or anything like that, we always have a debrief afterwards.

Speaker 3 (41:38):
Listen, and I don't forget. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
She was like, you're ready the brief? Oh yeah, what
did you like? You like? What would you change? All
of that?

Speaker 7 (41:48):
And it feels very tedious at times, but it is
essential because if you don't use that time to really
voice your opinion about what you like, what you didn't like,
what you may I want to try again a way,
you need to have a couple more times before you
can make an honest opinion about how you felt about it.

Speaker 3 (42:07):
Then you'll find yourself in a situation that you don't
want to be in.

Speaker 7 (42:10):
Because you were honest and we're coming about that, and
you didn't take the opportunity to be more transparent about
like y'all.

Speaker 3 (42:16):
Wasn't feeling this shit.

Speaker 7 (42:17):
I don't like, I don't need to do this shit
no more. But now this person like all right, cool,
well we're gonna do it again next week. But that's
why you still have to do the work with Yeah,
until that same point, like even headed there to a
party a situation we were at recently, it was like,

(42:37):
what's yours?

Speaker 5 (42:39):
What scenarios do you want to see? What do you
want to experience? What are your expectations? We talked about
that on the way there, So it's like just asking
all the questions. Don't sit there just thinking about it,
and if you got questions, you asking yourself, ask your
partner be so that you know and open that communication.

Speaker 7 (43:00):
I didn't even think about that, but like you made
a good point about like hit it there, because how
I say, I'm like, yeah, I think maybe I want
to try to experience maybe this, and that might be
something where I might be a little more reluctant to
you know, try to find somebody or whatever.

Speaker 3 (43:16):
But you know, women have a.

Speaker 7 (43:18):
Keen system may so like, if I'm honest about what
I may want to try something like which is still difficult.

Speaker 3 (43:26):
For me even at my big age, and still be like,
I got it, face weird? Is that weird? Like it's
not fucking weird. Let's do it and then they'll find somebody.

Speaker 7 (43:45):
But if I don't say that, if I'm not forthcoming,
then she won't know how to help me in that
situation and vice versa. So yeah, it's very important to
have those conversations, but I still get nervous.

Speaker 2 (43:57):
Well, most of us have.

Speaker 1 (43:58):
Most of us haven't been given in the space to
a talk about sex, be to be forthright about our
fantasies and our kinks and then say them aloud, especially
being women, especially like you could be a freak privately, right,
but you're not supposed to be a freak with the
person that you're married to or that you that you like,
which is absolutely ridiculous. Or we all do like have

(44:19):
this idea that like even masturbation or whatever you type
in on your porn category is something private and shameful,
and so if you can't come up out of that shame,
you're never going to say the thing. But all these
things are fucking necessary and essential if you want to
basically like maximize your pleasure in this lifetime and be
in a partnered space, because if not, you are signing

(44:41):
up to be with a partner who is not also
committing to your pleasure, you know. And if there are
things that you want to continue to experience throughout your
fucking sexual lifetime, you're gonna have to share that shit
or else it's gonna be a surprise. Then you're gonna
get you know, you're gonna cheat and all these other things.
And this is what happens to people is they don't
say who the fuck they are, like this nasty ship, Hey,
I like this, Hey I want to role play this,

(45:03):
And then you're secretly going to do it and len secrecy.
But then it doesn't really then you get caught and
you're like, who the fuck are you?

Speaker 3 (45:11):
It wasn't easy way, Yeah, Like a couple of things.
I was eleven person, say the thing.

Speaker 7 (45:17):
It's a video that people are using the intro of
and it's a white shit shed like say the thing
to say, right, you said, say the thing?

Speaker 3 (45:25):
I was like, use the fucking search on porn sites.
It makes it so much easier. This is POV creamy
b b W.

Speaker 5 (45:36):
Always use the search.

Speaker 3 (45:38):
I just go through the fucking thing automated specific thing like.

Speaker 2 (45:44):
One one thing that comes up from the search specific.

Speaker 3 (45:46):
I go down to like the quality of the video
and the lift of it. So I utilize the space bar.
Then I use the sub category. I am very efficient
with you.

Speaker 6 (45:57):
Are cultured man.

Speaker 7 (46:00):
When she was talking and she was also like, uh,
then you end up cheating and you get called you
feel bad like, but also you you potentially miss the
easier route for doing something like like I said, I
a p O V.

Speaker 3 (46:13):
I like creamy, and I like it when it's a
super duper mess down there.

Speaker 7 (46:17):
And then I said this to her because you know,
every every every every woman is different than what their
body produces and things like that.

Speaker 3 (46:25):
So she was like, oh, we can just find some
loop that does and I was like, wait, there's loop
that does that.

Speaker 7 (46:30):
There's just something now it's not like, oh, man, I
gotta find somebody that's creamy the potentially play with and
now that's a weird question.

Speaker 3 (46:38):
Yeah yeah, so you so. But like it's such an
easy figure. Sometimes it just it just.

Speaker 7 (46:45):
Takes like being open and honest and transparent about what
you like, what are your kinks and the helps? But
also be careful because I've heard that that does it
can throw your pH off.

Speaker 3 (46:55):
So just it's an extra greety in that, so be
careful with that.

Speaker 2 (47:02):
And also I think a lot.

Speaker 1 (47:03):
Of men are not willing to be the wingman for
their women to like a lot and even a lot
of women have the idea that if my man aids
me in this kink, then he doesn't respect me or
love me, you know what I mean. There's an idea too.
It's like, are do you love me? If you're willing
to like participate in this book?

Speaker 5 (47:21):
You know what a man?

Speaker 2 (47:23):
You share me?

Speaker 5 (47:23):
Even though I ask for it, but you know what
to your point about ship, I lost it?

Speaker 3 (47:32):
Aid me? Do you still love me? If does this
man love me?

Speaker 5 (47:37):
If he's aid oh yes, you were talking about your
just people focusing on their own pleasure, And what was
going through my head is like, don't you also want
to please your partner? So it's like I get pleasure
from from pleasing him, and so it's like, what can
I do to to basically serve towards your happiness? Like

(48:02):
how and if that's something? And I ain't tripping about it.
It's like, let's do it. That's all you gotta do
is communicate to me, point them out to tell me
I'm good.

Speaker 1 (48:14):
So yeah, And there's something super beautiful and like honestly
like frequency changing when you can, like when you can
participate in experience pleasure with your partner's aid and then
go home together and talk about it and sharing it
and then be like you trust me and I trust
you with the bomb we did that, You get right,

(48:36):
like I can't.

Speaker 2 (48:37):
We don't have to cheat because you were there. High five.

Speaker 3 (48:46):
That you car you and your partner on that level.

Speaker 7 (48:48):
Like we were in Vegas one time for coincidentally another
one of my it was my twin high school reunions
and we're at a pool party. You know, we had
got a cabana, me and a couple of my former
classmateson and friends there.

Speaker 3 (49:02):
So me and Fair and her just being us. This
chick walks up to me she was like your white brother.
I was like, yeah, that's right there. She was like
that was a lifestyle. I had never had contact with
the chick before, and I was like, what makes you
say that? She was like, y'all just got energy, like
y'all this whole party.

Speaker 2 (49:25):
But you know what it was.

Speaker 7 (49:26):
I think it was us walking like together and like
kind of chatting and scoping.

Speaker 2 (49:32):
Out the whole the whole crowd.

Speaker 5 (49:37):
Yes, came in straight, a little predatory now that I
think about it, but it came in straight, like.

Speaker 6 (49:45):
I ain't scene people.

Speaker 3 (49:48):
We got this motherfucker sweet. Listen, we're trying to have
a real Vegas weekend. Vegas.

Speaker 2 (49:56):
My mother time, Vegas is org.

Speaker 3 (50:05):
I will saying Vegas.

Speaker 5 (50:09):
If you see all four, all four of us in Vegas, Yeah,
that's the world.

Speaker 3 (50:20):
We traveled.

Speaker 5 (50:23):
Was it that the same trip? We actually did have
a We had a situation we met up with with
someone in Vegas during that trip.

Speaker 3 (50:33):
Vegas.

Speaker 7 (50:34):
We listen and we were like check to the Yeah,
we stopped, we drove in, stopped at the liquor store.
We had one of my homeboys and his wife rode
with us, like boom, we're gonna drop y' all here,
we gotta go take this business room together.

Speaker 3 (50:47):
We fucking chicked.

Speaker 7 (50:49):
It was a little bug because, like people had asked
for this trip and not as many people came.

Speaker 3 (50:54):
But it was a perfect fucking amount.

Speaker 6 (50:57):
That's what it is.

Speaker 3 (50:58):
Perfect amount we ain't.

Speaker 7 (50:59):
Do you know what I'm saying, Like we kept business pleasures,
but it was like when we were partying with him,
it was great, and then we went to the.

Speaker 3 (51:06):
Bag and it was like it was like, where did
you get that role from? I always eded on.

Speaker 2 (51:20):
Y envision.

Speaker 6 (51:23):
It's got to be.

Speaker 3 (51:26):
It was crazy, Yeah, crazy kicked it like we did.
I was.

Speaker 4 (51:34):
I will say one thing that's really uh got us
like into the groove of like our communication and things,
just like the practice.

Speaker 6 (51:41):
What was I just about to say? I just had it.

Speaker 3 (51:46):
Back for a second, I'm sayings.

Speaker 4 (51:50):
The point the point of me saying this in the
communication is like it's so healing doing all of this
and the communication and being honest even with all the
sexual things happening. Because for me, when my uh my
dad was married, when he started talking to my mom
and then had me, so I was a child of
like out of wedlock.

Speaker 6 (52:11):
Is that what it is?

Speaker 4 (52:14):
The point is there was so much lying and cheating
going on in my youth that now honesty is what
turns me on. And so like when you when we
were talking about like having this kind of relationship and
having this kind of communication when we're so honest with
each other. That's where I get the compersion from. So
there's no need for the lying or like the sneakiness
or when you're saying like infidelity doesn't get you, doesn't

(52:36):
get you.

Speaker 6 (52:36):
It's honesty that does.

Speaker 4 (52:38):
When you When we're being so honest with each other
and forthcoming and then honest right in front of each
other's face, that's what like really turns me on and
gets me going. So like this MMF when she's like, well,
I think something can happen tonight, and I'm like, what
can happen?

Speaker 3 (52:55):
Say it out loud?

Speaker 5 (52:58):
She was like, just what do you want?

Speaker 3 (53:03):
Like I was thinking of with everything out her me,
I'm you.

Speaker 7 (53:16):
With other people, I can be like I'm the person,
but with her, like and this, this just kind of
goes back to like even before we were in the space,
like my idea of marriage, it was basically like.

Speaker 3 (53:28):
Happy wife, happy life. And she hated that ship. She
hate that ship, and my thing is like, hey, I
just want my wife to be happy.

Speaker 7 (53:34):
So just dude, you know, I just go along with it,
and uh, the road switch almost like she I let
her be dominant because I was I just like, I
don't want no problem at the crib. I just want
to be able to go to fuck to sleep with
everybody already go to funk to sleep, like I don't
want no now outside the world and fuck you, fuck you,
but at home, I don't want to like this my

(53:58):
life partner. And so like it's still is taking something
like That's why I said, like sometimes it's still like
kind of like awkward with me saying you know, I.

Speaker 3 (54:04):
Just want somebody sit on my face, you know what
I'm saying real quick before I leave.

Speaker 7 (54:10):
Yeah, it's still like there's those moments when I still
struggle with with that.

Speaker 3 (54:16):
So it's good to see that it could it could
still be both sides and the Yeah, I'm not the
only one in that situation.

Speaker 4 (54:23):
That situation, Yeah, and it gets kind of fun and
like in a very masculine dominant type of way because
then when you're the facilitator and controller of it all.

Speaker 6 (54:31):
And really I just took the reins because right here,
this one right here is so scary.

Speaker 3 (54:36):
With the m m F.

Speaker 4 (54:38):
She's like, I don't I'm like, if you don't go
just take a shot into killing and spinning in his mouth,
I'm gonna come over there with you, right so I'm
laying there with another girl.

Speaker 2 (54:47):
She's come over there with you.

Speaker 6 (54:49):
I didn't say it in my head. I'm like, I'm
come over there with you?

Speaker 3 (54:51):
Right.

Speaker 4 (54:52):
So he was over there, and I brought the little
other girl out that was there, and we were sitting
next to each other, me and her, countling, and then
I gave like meal as space, because you know, she tiny.
I give a space of like coming, and she just
does the it takes a shot and it spits in
his mouth and makes out with him.

Speaker 6 (55:05):
I'm like, here you go. I need I told you
she could do it. I need she could do it.

Speaker 7 (55:13):
So proud of it?

Speaker 2 (55:14):
All right?

Speaker 1 (55:15):
Oh well, because there's still the nervousness even to what
you said far And it's like with all of these
with all these conversations that most of us have never had,
because you've never you've never seen it. It's like there's
always going to be this programming that comes up and
you like, go off, kill him.

Speaker 2 (55:29):
He wants to be with her, you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (55:31):
Like there's these these little like voices in your head
like do not you know, like he doesn't really mean that,
you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (55:37):
So you have to actively be like Okay, do I
care about this?

Speaker 5 (55:41):
Does this?

Speaker 2 (55:41):
Does this mean we.

Speaker 1 (55:42):
Don't love each other? Does this mean we're not gonna
be together? Does this mean we're not right?

Speaker 2 (55:45):
What do these things actually mean?

Speaker 7 (55:47):
Let me ask you this, because that brings a good point,
Like in that moment when you're in that moment, like
if he was right here with someone and he's talking
that ship like it's so good whatever, and you're earshot
or close and he did like reaches back like like
just that touch. Is that reassuring enough? Or do you
you have to work that through on your own in

(56:09):
your own head, or can that touch be well?

Speaker 1 (56:13):
I mean, I appreciate a reassuring touch always, but I
do think that if we're that far in it, at that.

Speaker 2 (56:20):
Point, I've already like gone, I've already gone through the thoughts.

Speaker 1 (56:24):
Yeah, I mean, but like I said, I've been We've
been in positions where things have got popping and I've
changed my mind and I didn't say anything. I mean
I did say something, but like I didn't leave the situation,
and like I had to like really come to terms
with my with with me and me. And that's really
what people fail to realize. It's like at the end
of the day, what is your dialogue with yourself? And
most of us are not in dialogue with their self

(56:46):
enough to really work through all of the things because
most of the issue is not with someone else.

Speaker 2 (56:52):
The issues are you, Yeah, what is it that you
think is going to happen?

Speaker 1 (56:55):
And generally in situations lifestyle situations, when you're opening your
relationship up in any capacity that they're there or not,
it's like, is this person gonna leave me? That's literally
usually the bottom, the bottom basis of the fear. Are
you gonna fall in love with this new pissy so
much and you're gonna be fucking me thinking about this
new bitch? And so most people just close that door
immediately and say that's not even gonna be an option,

(57:16):
that you ain't getting no other pussy.

Speaker 7 (57:17):
But I feel so much stronger and secure in our
relationship because I can I can see that and still
know that we're good. I know my husband and I
know he ain't going nowhere, So it's like this is

(57:39):
just something that makes him happy, like shit ride the
roller coaster, Like is he gonna leave me for the
fucking roller coaster?

Speaker 3 (57:46):
Real quick?

Speaker 7 (57:47):
And for the people that might be watching it like girl,
you don't know that, yes she did, do let me
find another her.

Speaker 3 (58:01):
I don't want to. I don't have any fucking inclination to.

Speaker 7 (58:06):
That will never be another her, and that seat will
never be feeling for any reason it didn't work out.
Be on the fucking lookout because I'm on the proud
I will never fucking settle down again. A no redudes,
there'll no Unlet's this time to be different, and none
of that ship going down. It's her or bus. So

(58:28):
if I me and you think I'm gonna take no,
the fuck you're not. You're never going to.

Speaker 3 (58:35):
It's not what I want.

Speaker 7 (58:36):
I don't give a fuck about nobody's birthday, don't give
a fuck about another favorite color. I'm not interested in
meeting your fans, of your family. I'm not doing any
of that ship ever fucking again.

Speaker 3 (58:46):
I have a family.

Speaker 7 (58:48):
I know her favorite color, I know what she likes.
It took years to get this. I'm not starting for
fucking again ever again.

Speaker 3 (58:57):
It will never happen.

Speaker 4 (58:58):
Just so y'all know y parallel conversation and you know
the funny thing about reassurance. I give reassurance like an
annoyed Jamaican man. Right, It's like, if you don't get
the funk out of my face and go over there
and suck that, they can leave me alone.

Speaker 5 (59:11):
Yeah, you don't have that.

Speaker 4 (59:12):
And then if you've been talking about month leave me alone,
go fuck him. If you're gonna go Actually, if you're
gonna go, do it. Your teams say about go and
go do it.

Speaker 3 (59:20):
Don't have to do it.

Speaker 4 (59:21):
You've been talking about the ship, go ahead, let me
see if you're gonna do it.

Speaker 6 (59:23):
I get that's my right, and so I guess ship's bad.

Speaker 5 (59:41):
She really thought it.

Speaker 6 (59:42):
I'll talk too much.

Speaker 3 (59:43):
Now, look at her monster.

Speaker 4 (59:47):
I really did make a monster too, because afterwards she
started to starting to get like out of her mind
and she was like, you know, there was somebody else.

Speaker 6 (59:54):
I was like, hold on.

Speaker 5 (59:58):
She was like, let's you do this one.

Speaker 3 (01:00:02):
Person.

Speaker 6 (01:00:09):
But there's a lot of fun.

Speaker 4 (01:00:10):
And going back to what you were saying about happy wife,
half your life, I actually literally wrote down for this
episode that was going to bring up that was going
to change that terminology because for me, it was like
pleasured wife, happy life, and it's like if we get
our pleasures out the way and it doesn't even have
to be intercourse or sexual it's just finding out and
exploring these pleasures and doing these things and even when
there isn't another person and doing like MMFs type things

(01:00:34):
just because we do like it, like you you were saying,
getting the lube or whatever, right, And she Mila was
once talking about in the early stage of our relationship,
like you know, doing.

Speaker 6 (01:00:44):
An MTh and like what it would look like.

Speaker 4 (01:00:46):
And so when we would have her toys, we're just
like MMF type things, and she would mention the things.

Speaker 1 (01:00:51):
That she is like, so like just knowing practice is
practice and coming simulation a lot. There are a lot
of simulations that had to happen before the real thing,
Like it was like drills like don't.

Speaker 3 (01:01:05):
Go right.

Speaker 2 (01:01:14):
Looking like.

Speaker 6 (01:01:20):
Hands, I told you your personal record.

Speaker 3 (01:01:25):
We're trying to do any environment up twists Jesus and.

Speaker 2 (01:01:29):
You know you're ready to say serious, not ready, You're
not ready, you know, Oh my god.

Speaker 6 (01:01:36):
Those simulations are really what it is.

Speaker 4 (01:01:38):
And it's great because our way of like keeping ship
like fun in our relationship is role playing anyway, role
playing anyway, and so the thing about doing like sexual
things when it comes to like adding another human being
is that.

Speaker 6 (01:01:50):
And I also realize that with like people in the lifestyle.

Speaker 4 (01:01:53):
I'm about to start calling the pleasure pressure pleasure style
pleasure lifestyle alternative lifestyle is way more pleasurable than all alternative.
But the thing about finding out all these pleasures is
you find out what works for y'all. It's not a
matter of like when you said earlier, people just think like, oh,
y'all just fucking everybody. It's like no, Actually, smaller intimate
spaces work for us, not necessarily. Play parties will do

(01:02:16):
like little things, but it's just not our thing, like
having our own thing in a space where shit is bright,
colorful or cooler people because I think I don't I
don't know for Mela separately, but for me, I can
go into it like I could see somebody and we
could just fuck without even knowing each other.

Speaker 6 (01:02:33):
But together, I feel like we're more.

Speaker 4 (01:02:35):
Like sopio sexual, like we want to get to know
somebody before like even entering their energy. And I just
find I just find that relationship wise, our pleasure and
compatible pleasure compatibility is so much different than when it's
just me alone, And I actually like it.

Speaker 6 (01:02:51):
When it's us together then when it's just me alone.
That was my two piece.

Speaker 3 (01:02:55):
About that's great.

Speaker 7 (01:02:57):
I wish I would more uh like physical driven, because
I can see somebody super fine, but I.

Speaker 3 (01:03:12):
Don't like it.

Speaker 7 (01:03:13):
I also have to hear sometimes your voice because you
off like I got that should have thrown you off.
I gotta make you, you know, a dumb ass because
like you know, like this is an alternative life, because
scent is very big, and like I need to see
certain things that makes you like if I see anything
that was like, bitch, you crazy, now I'm good. I
mean like so for me, I mean, you know, granted,

(01:03:35):
if you're in that space, more than likely that person
is already acclimated with us surround against behavior of such pastille,
you know what I mean, Like I want to do
more of that, but I also just be like I
just I'm missing a side to right here. What can
you show me that's embarrassing?

Speaker 3 (01:03:51):
I need to know you're a real person. This mola done? Bitch?
What what you got? What you bring it? To make human?

Speaker 7 (01:03:59):
I need to I need see this because it's always
like the fantasy and ship like that, but I like
I need to, like I need to find that level
ground with you to be able to be like, Okay,
now I can do this because.

Speaker 1 (01:04:10):
Like my dig be like no same, Like I like
you a little bit, just a little, a little bit.
Don't even for you to fuck my man, like I
need to like you like I need to. I need
to know who you are, bitch. I need you to
know I'm number one. I need to I need to
feel like we're friends. You know there are levels to
this ship or.

Speaker 7 (01:04:28):
I need to know, like even if I don't like
your voice, so I don't like hanging it's not somebody
there would be long term I need to be able
to like gauge that like, Okay, this this is just
a fun I wouldn't ever want to like hang out
and this would be a fuck if like just for me,
I wouldn't bring her around comparenting like this.

Speaker 3 (01:04:45):
I'm not gonna bring it around a group. The groups
is gonna destroy this.

Speaker 7 (01:04:49):
So it's like, okay, where do you fit also in
that So like for me, I have to have a
little bit more than just because like like the moment
you open the mouth and I know immediately she says,
I'm dumb man, this is.

Speaker 6 (01:05:09):
What you that's the quality, that's what you think we do.

Speaker 5 (01:05:14):
Like I don't need to I don't need to feel
like friends. It's just that if you're around what I
don't know, I don't I don't need. I don't need friendship,
but sce conversations be like do you prefer like short
socks along socks?

Speaker 3 (01:05:36):
Do you like.

Speaker 7 (01:05:38):
Super surface super like? It's getting not at all, It's
just like you you ever learned to swim? So it's
it's like it's stuff like that.

Speaker 5 (01:05:53):
So I don't need I don't need friendship. But what
I do need, though, it's like security that they're vetted
enough to not go start some ship right And see,
that's what that is for me.

Speaker 7 (01:06:07):
That is the vetting process of like, okay, cool, where
is this person fit in our life?

Speaker 3 (01:06:12):
And the and the equation? Is she someone that I
feel like? Fair?

Speaker 7 (01:06:15):
Because whoever, if I was to meet someone who talks
about she's gonna know, like I'm gonna tell her and everything.

Speaker 3 (01:06:21):
I'm like, Okay, this is.

Speaker 4 (01:06:22):
Who it is.

Speaker 7 (01:06:22):
Oh, this who it is I think y'all should meet,
or this is who it is. I think this person
is cool, and I'll be like why so then I
gotta come with this. That's why I do the checkl Okay, Well,
when we had a conversation she said this. I was like, oh, yeah,
she liked this too.

Speaker 3 (01:06:37):
I have to do that.

Speaker 7 (01:06:38):
But you know, it's it's different with the back and
forth with us between us, but yeah, I'm I'm like that.
I'm very much like with the vetting and knowing where
this person fits and uh, it's just somebody that because
if I'm gonna put forth the effort and like getting
to know a person like okay, cool, at least I
know where they fit. Like I don't the one that,
like I had to this day made at my big

(01:07:01):
age forty, I may have had outside of like Jamaica,
you may have.

Speaker 2 (01:07:05):
Had like two what Night says, because you you like
to keep your people.

Speaker 7 (01:07:12):
It's not even just keeping it, it's more so like
I can't just I can't perform on command like I
could in college. But I was ruined then and it
was like more getting back at women for this chick
lying about the space.

Speaker 3 (01:07:24):
So I don't give a fuck about you like this
dick an, I'm gonna suck your friend.

Speaker 6 (01:07:28):
One chick.

Speaker 7 (01:07:28):
I apologize many times to her, but her her cousin
and her aunt. I was like, you shouldn't have brought
me to the family, your bitch. You know, I'm charming,
charming as fuck, serious and everybody getting fucked you lucky
was just the three.

Speaker 3 (01:07:47):
So I can't.

Speaker 7 (01:07:48):
I can't do that without going back into that dark place,
and that allows other things to creep in, and so
like for me, I have to do a little vetting.

Speaker 3 (01:07:55):
Ye know what.

Speaker 2 (01:07:56):
I like something about you?

Speaker 7 (01:07:57):
Yeah?

Speaker 6 (01:07:59):
Are you?

Speaker 2 (01:07:59):
Are you friends with his girlfriend?

Speaker 5 (01:08:03):
Yes? So yeah, we like super cool FaceTime, like immediately,
and she's been nothing but consistent, like because I was
also worried, worried that she was gonna come out like
just being super just fake. And then I was like
true color is gonna show. And she actually came to

(01:08:25):
me and was like I was nervous about meeting you,
she was like, but I was like, I'm just gonna
be myself. It's like and this is so dope, Like
I'm just so comfortable around you. And I was like, yay,
that's what I want. I wanted you to be comfortable,
but also me like your comfortability like.

Speaker 3 (01:08:43):
Who you are.

Speaker 7 (01:08:44):
Picture. The first time she came out, I had to
do something. So we took both cars and fars like,
oh good because this is a week car and she
was like yes, and I was like, yeah, do that
shit over there being smoked to my vehicle clicked immediately off.

Speaker 5 (01:09:03):
But we would leave his ass in the room a
house and be sitting outside just smoking.

Speaker 3 (01:09:11):
We got a house, I got a house.

Speaker 7 (01:09:15):
We smoking, chopping it up. She's a she has just
one daughter. I got just one daughter.

Speaker 5 (01:09:23):
We just going back and forth. She close with her family.
I'm close with my.

Speaker 6 (01:09:26):
Family about more than socks.

Speaker 1 (01:09:29):
Asking her yes, I want to know that She's okay, Like, yeah,
that's wonderful to get to the place to have that
type of you know, just trust. It's really trust and
boundaries and know what you're actually looking for in companionship
and you know, just having a discussion with your husband.

Speaker 5 (01:09:49):
I was very surprised that he committed to someone else, though,
because he like, like you just said the not wanting
to get to know all the things. And I'm also
surprised that I was finally okay with it, because when
we talked about it years ago, I was like, nope,
butchers don't understand their place. I'm number one. I agree

(01:10:12):
that leave them.

Speaker 3 (01:10:16):
Just to help.

Speaker 7 (01:10:16):
So I don't know if I would have did it
if we had been in the same city, like the
fact that she's because I am a very much.

Speaker 3 (01:10:24):
I need my space person. Like during the pandemic, I
was like.

Speaker 7 (01:10:28):
I can't, I can't say in this house. I was like, Hey,
I'm getting I'm getting a hotel for this weekend. You
can get a hotel the next weekend. That way we
both have time to miss each other, and we both
have a time where we're not responsible.

Speaker 3 (01:10:38):
For the household.

Speaker 7 (01:10:38):
You ain't gotta worry about make sure dinner's good. I
gotta call it head like, hey, y'all want to grab something.
We need that space because I'm I'm used to I've
been touring. I've been on the road since two thousand
and seven, but very little breaks in between, like and
I'm talking about like like there have been years where
I toured eight months out of the year. That were
years where I toured like three months out of the year,

(01:10:58):
but consistently from then to now, there have only been
three years when I was not on tour. So I'm
used to fucking having at least a hotel room to
myself at some point, and I need that shit Like
that's how I de compressed, That's how I think about stuff,
and it's hard to do sometimes when I'm at home,
because they are such a like you said, our energy
is very much like a ah. And when I'm not reciprocating,

(01:11:21):
it's like why you hate me?

Speaker 3 (01:11:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (01:11:24):
When I'm in the house and I'm not joking joking,
everybody's like this tight.

Speaker 3 (01:11:30):
It's like, now, this is just how I process.

Speaker 7 (01:11:32):
And sometimes, like when I'm going through something that things
take longer the process, things take longer to deal with,
And so moving myself to a different space makes it
easier for me to process that process that faster because
I don't have to keep stalking like no, no, y'all
are good, Okay, I gonna do this when I gotta
break that concentration to deal with that to make sure
that y'all are good, it messages with me and it prolongs.

Speaker 3 (01:11:54):
The process too, So you know, I need that space.

Speaker 4 (01:11:57):
And also how in that space and having I guess
your personal life like personal like not you and fan,
but you yourself comfortable, then it makes it easier to
live the old pleasure lifestyle because you've got your own
boundaries aside from pleasure, aside from sex that makes you
comfortable and happy. And then when it comes to doing

(01:12:19):
the pleasurable stuff. It's like, oh, I had a whole
week and away from you, I'm ready to threesome you now.
And I will say that the one thing that makes
it hard to even do anything away from my relationship
is because it's more pleasurable seeing me La happy, like.

Speaker 6 (01:12:42):
When she's enjoying it.

Speaker 4 (01:12:44):
Oh, this is way better than if I was just
like doing some fun shit or she was, or if
she was doing some shit just because she wants to
try and make me pleased or happy.

Speaker 3 (01:12:54):
But it's not gonna work for me.

Speaker 6 (01:12:57):
So there is a part of our UH podcasts that
when we have people on, we call this a double
date that we like to ask y'all.

Speaker 4 (01:13:09):
Y'all role play where I roll up and you tell
me how you keep your relationship playful, whether it's fun
or sexy or anything like that. But since you brought
a pre roll already in, I'm just go ahead and
smoke while you're telling us. But yeah, yeah, what is

(01:13:29):
what is one thing from each of y'all how you
keep your relationship fun or playful?

Speaker 5 (01:13:35):
We just always try and stuff.

Speaker 3 (01:13:38):
We I mean, it's.

Speaker 5 (01:13:42):
We always leave room to laugh at everything, but we
just we just try stuff we still send each other
videos that we see that turn us on. Yeah, we
still ship. Will sit to get to get ready. It's

(01:14:04):
like okay, I'm I'm gonna pick the porn this time,
and mine is usually some I don't know and she
needs and doctor puts on some hintime monster situation.

Speaker 3 (01:14:23):
She doesn't sound on with hers. I like music, so
you find a video off on the playfo.

Speaker 5 (01:14:30):
Just open to just constantly just playing with things.

Speaker 3 (01:14:35):
I'm very setting the move, like it was a couple
of weeks.

Speaker 5 (01:14:42):
Oh my god, when I was giving you head and
you was like, wait a minute, this nigga left the
room to go like an incense to bring into the
room because he was like, I got the music, the
lighting's perfect.

Speaker 7 (01:14:53):
I just need thistivated if we got the time to
do it, like hold on, this did gonna be right here?
Like did you just light a fucking incent? And then
afterwards I saw her shaking the head.

Speaker 3 (01:15:07):
I was like, you think about the incent. It's like
you stopped to go get inside. I was like, I
wanted all my senses to be activated at that time.

Speaker 4 (01:15:14):
I'm very much about the construction of pleasure, Like how
where does the camera need?

Speaker 6 (01:15:19):
This is some only fan shit. Also, where does the
camera need to be for recording?

Speaker 4 (01:15:23):
With the camera need to be that if we were
to rewatch this, we can get the most out of
this experience. Right, what smell does need to be here
for which specific video so that it feels really good?

Speaker 6 (01:15:34):
How low does the music have to be? Do the
porn have to be the brightness of the projector in
the dark room?

Speaker 3 (01:15:41):
Max Fuck and Make Love playlist. I have multiple ones.

Speaker 7 (01:15:47):
I got like, all right, this is a good vibe
to get some shit going playlist because it's slow, but
it's not just talking about fucking, it's just talking about
chilling and relaxing, and it makes people come. So whereas
you might be sitting on a chair like this, all
the cous like this, this music encourages this. Right, So
now you're open to somebody sitting next to you, versus

(01:16:10):
you feel stand office you're blocking any type of interaction.

Speaker 3 (01:16:13):
You're blocking you keeping your energy to yourself that same right,
I'm very big on like setting the mood, like you said.

Speaker 5 (01:16:22):
That's why I didn't even get like afan dead or upset.
It was just like classic you. It was a very
hymn thing to do.

Speaker 3 (01:16:32):
I'm very intention like go get the towd or get
the blanket. Get the blanket. It's gonna be It's gonna be.
A Louie situation.

Speaker 2 (01:16:44):
Is important.

Speaker 7 (01:16:45):
Yeah, but I don't think there's any one thing. The
one thing that we did that really was.

Speaker 5 (01:16:54):
Pivotal for us was going to hedonism. That was that
was pivotal, and and like just taking ours our communication
to a whole new level.

Speaker 7 (01:17:06):
Vacations in general was a big thing for me because
I didn't vacation as a kid.

Speaker 3 (01:17:12):
I love working, Oh my god, I love it.

Speaker 7 (01:17:15):
I work myself to the grave, like ninety years old,
still doing what I love to do, because I love
to do what I do.

Speaker 3 (01:17:22):
And so for me, it was like take time off.

Speaker 7 (01:17:27):
Like the first one we did was like as soon
as we had moved into our new place a week
later or maybe five days later, we went to airbnbat.

Speaker 3 (01:17:35):
In a desert on the desert, and I'm like, why
are we going here? Why are we spending this money?

Speaker 5 (01:17:39):
Again?

Speaker 7 (01:17:39):
She was like to get you away from everything and
put you in a different environment to relax. And I
still took my laptop and I still did some work,
but I did you know when I listened to a
book on tape, I watched Hamilton with them. We created
all day Bacon like it was. It was the beginning
of a monster for me because I was like, I

(01:18:01):
like this ship, so that vacation really did it for me.

Speaker 2 (01:18:05):
What's your son in your areas?

Speaker 3 (01:18:10):
Yeah? Man?

Speaker 5 (01:18:12):
Right?

Speaker 4 (01:18:12):
Fire and water wash all over your Fire and water
is always into interesting combination. One thing I wanted to
ask before we got out of here in the essence
of time, because I know y'all busy and got ship
to do. If y'all can get any dedication to our listeners,
A dedication is just really just some advice back to
the listeners, if you could think of any relationship advice, sorry,

(01:18:34):
your relationship advice. I also asked us at the end
because I get high. Yes, but anyway, some relationship advice
back to the people.

Speaker 5 (01:18:42):
I think we would say the same thing communication, like
just like over communicate. What questions would you have if
somebody said what you just said to you, Like, that's
just go ahead and answer them in the in the
communication like just and vulnerability. If this is your person,

(01:19:09):
y'all supposed to be together, you should be able to
say and experience anything even your darkest thoughts. You should
be able to say it.

Speaker 7 (01:19:18):
You should create a worksheet that like has twenty ten
or twenty questions you should ask or know about your
spouse off like simple shit that we don't even think about.

Speaker 4 (01:19:32):
That.

Speaker 3 (01:19:32):
And I'm not even kidding.

Speaker 7 (01:19:33):
I was literally about to say that, because before we
went Polly, we were, like I said, we were just
open and we just knew we both like fore, but
we didn't know what each other like. We had a
conversation one night while we were intoxicated on some stuff
and we were just like, let's have a conversation that

(01:19:54):
stays right here. You created us safe space and in
that conversation and we learned so much. And this was
a couple of days before Jamaica, so coming off.

Speaker 5 (01:20:04):
The couple, sure, no, before we it was the night
that we booked the trip because we were like full,
like you know what, man, let's go all in. We
know we're gonna be okay afterwards. Let's just have a
great time. And so we booked the trip that night
when we had that conversation.

Speaker 7 (01:20:22):
Yeah, and it changed everything for us. We learned so
much about each other. What type of porn you're like,
what would you do in this situation? What would you
do in that situation? What is your darkest fantasy that
you never shared with anyone? What's your darkest sexual fantasy
that you've never shared with anyone.

Speaker 3 (01:20:42):
If you had the power to kill some people, would
you do it? What would you not do it? Like
if you got money for it, would you do it?
If it was a random person?

Speaker 7 (01:20:49):
Like all of these type of questions like help you
get your know your person and fellas, I would say this,
be honest about what makes you anxious? And conversations on
the conversations I know the on the running joke is
like we need to talk or call me immediately, Like
those things just create anxiousness and gods, so like like

(01:21:12):
like verbalize that, be like hey, when you do this,
it makes me feel a certain way, and then explore
why it makes you feel that way, and then if
it's still makes sure how you can change it to
still get to lower that alarm, alarm, that urgency that
you feel. Like because that's what we had to do,
because I would always be like we need to talk

(01:21:34):
or I want to talk later or whatever, and he would.

Speaker 3 (01:21:37):
Justly, what's up, what's up?

Speaker 7 (01:21:40):
She's like aren't you filming? I was like, a step
up set, what's going on? What we need to talk about?
Because she found a different way to communicate. Hey, later on,
I was thinking about this. You might have we set
some timers out. So when you say, Hey, this is
what I kind of want to talk about, it kind
of gives us a break on freaking out because okay.

Speaker 3 (01:21:59):
This It's a lot of times it would just be
some regular ship.

Speaker 7 (01:22:03):
Hey, I was thinking about trying off this, this food
delivery system, and I'm fucking.

Speaker 3 (01:22:07):
Freaking out on set, like what the funk happened? What's
going on?

Speaker 7 (01:22:12):
Creating all of these false narratives and all of these
unrealistic conversations in my head because I'm just searching for it.
Because guys, we're trying to we solve the problem, you
know what I'm saying. That's why a lot of ladies
talk to ladies. They don't talk to guys, because guys
are fucking fixing.

Speaker 3 (01:22:28):
We'll be like, what did you think about this? If
you tried this? And that's why I might immediately go
to when we see those.

Speaker 5 (01:22:33):
Words so and even to that point when he gets
like that, I'd be like, I don't need you to
fix it. I just need to bed right now, And
you're like, oh, okay, I'm gonnahut the relax.

Speaker 4 (01:22:49):
You know what The funny thing is, it always makes
it easier for me when I don't got to give
advice back.

Speaker 6 (01:22:53):
And I don't know why every time. It's just in
our nature to just always give from.

Speaker 7 (01:22:59):
And we're supposed to be the protectors and the gatherers
protected historically, that's how we've been raised, that's how we
were taught. Protect your lady, you do this, you you
protect the family, provide for the fact. So we just
instantly go into particular the mot.

Speaker 5 (01:23:13):
But people need to think communication is part of protecting
that it's at the core of it. So like communications
at the core of everything.

Speaker 3 (01:23:23):
Yep, I agree.

Speaker 1 (01:23:25):
Communicating even the things you think are silly and stupid
and ridiculous, and even if you know they're ridiculous or uncomfortable.

Speaker 3 (01:23:34):
That's another thing. Run towards uncomfortable conversations.

Speaker 7 (01:23:38):
Uncomforble conversations are like clouds in your relationship. So the
more you have them, the quicker chance you have of
removing the cloudy areas in your relationship. And ain't always
gonna be pretty a lot of times. It ain't gonna
be fun. It may not be easy. The easier it
becomes to address those things, the easier it gets to
have those conversations. It's never fun, but you get better

(01:24:00):
at doing it. Taking the trash out at fun, but
like it at least if I take it out.

Speaker 3 (01:24:04):
It ain't gonna smell like this. It ain't gonna be full.

Speaker 7 (01:24:06):
I ain't gonna be mad when it pop up, Like
it gets easier to do the act. It's never something
that you want to do, but it does get easier
to do.

Speaker 4 (01:24:16):
I told me that after she graduated from Tantra School
that one of the things I realized is that, you know,
we don't stop arguing, but it's faster to get back
to our normal. Yes, we get back to our normal
so so much quicker.

Speaker 5 (01:24:33):
Yes, right. We we pointed that out about ourselves a
little while ago, a few months ago. It was like,
it's just getting faster and faster, like just talk it
out and then the next minute we like joking about
some silly shit, or he's sending me some stupid Instagram video, Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:24:55):
Very much. Yeah, look at you.

Speaker 4 (01:25:03):
You know how now is because usually I'll be like
so ready to be jokingly and witty, and I'm really
taking in this like loving moment. I'm really feeling the
energy above, and I'm loving that we had to we
have this space so we can have these type of
conversations that people can hear, because I think it's like
dope and important to hear multiple healthy couples talk about

(01:25:25):
how you can do so many things, so many different
ways in your relationship and realizing now with how there's
an open mindness to the different type of relationships out there,
whether you're like poly or non monogamous or monogamous, just
showing people how relationships are meant to be customized, not
under like one that or like one title that's just

(01:25:47):
supposed to stay too.

Speaker 5 (01:25:48):
So your relationship is what you make it.

Speaker 6 (01:25:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:25:51):
Yeah, So I really love that we have this space
and we can have specifically a couple like y'all that
not only have like a very specific type of relationship
and pleasurable lifestyle, but also are just as entertaining it.

Speaker 3 (01:26:08):
I appreciate you'all having together on the calending.

Speaker 6 (01:26:13):
I mean, yeah, so where can they find y'all give
all the information and that stuff?

Speaker 3 (01:26:18):
Our only fans listen if I have so many noticeable,
notable tattoos. We probably would those, we would put our

(01:26:39):
faces in. But like I got yeah tattoos, multiple ones.

Speaker 5 (01:26:48):
That three yeah wait it's three, oh ship, it is three. Yeah,
we have three matching tattoos.

Speaker 3 (01:26:56):
Yeah, one but it looks like a blood drops here week.

Speaker 6 (01:27:04):
Rick and they find you.

Speaker 5 (01:27:06):
Sorry, we both have YouTube pages. You fine, You're hot.

Speaker 2 (01:27:14):
We were so unique.

Speaker 3 (01:27:19):
Oh my god.

Speaker 5 (01:27:23):
Yes on YouTube, fair and more to hear more and
everywhere else is just to hear more.

Speaker 4 (01:27:30):
Oh my gosh, listen find us everywhere. This is love
Like This Love Cast. We're also on Instagram as Hucci
Mom and Dad. I am w H Underscore Orlando Roy.
That is Mila Underscore map. That's two peas for you.

Speaker 6 (01:27:47):
Thank you for coming.

Speaker 4 (01:27:48):
This is our second ever double date episode, so I
really appreciate you all.

Speaker 6 (01:27:52):
This is fantastic.

Speaker 4 (01:27:55):
Thank you for listening to Love Like This Love Cast, before, during,
and after a in love no

Speaker 3 (01:28:07):
Well lah blah blah blah lah like this

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Erica Dickerson

Jamilah Mapp

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