Why are we protecting men....ever? FEAT. Karrine Steffans PT 2

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Once upon a time there was a good old traditional housewife.
She couldn't She cleaned and cared for her children and
the man of the house, and of course she didn't
talk back. She was both obed hent and soft by nature.
She was a good woman who always made good choices.

Speaker 2 (00:17):
We're good mom's bad choices.

Speaker 3 (00:18):
Who's single mom who said fuck the patriarchy shared all
their bad choices and.

Speaker 2 (00:22):
Sound out they were so bad.

Speaker 3 (00:23):
After all, we're experts, overshares and your new besties.

Speaker 2 (00:26):
Sit back and enjoy the ride.

Speaker 4 (00:28):
I can do it.

Speaker 5 (00:35):
Okay, Wait, let me go back to the question, because
thank you good. I agree with everything.

Speaker 3 (00:40):
That you just said, absolutely absolutely, And it takes it
takes a soap box to remind yourself like, oh yeah,
this is that's not the real world.

Speaker 4 (00:49):
This is yeah, Like I don't know what the fuck
world we're living in.

Speaker 2 (00:52):
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (00:52):
I live in a different world, you know, And.

Speaker 5 (00:54):
I think like the world first of all, because you
wrote about a lot of the men that we're seeing
now come to light, and I'm that'll be more.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
There's more. There's more, that's it's gonna come. It's gonna
see it coming.

Speaker 5 (01:03):
Like some of these men you've had a lot of
you had interactions with, you had experiences with, and do
you think you have a different perspective of your experience
during the time in which you experience these men versus now,
where like you might have more clarity, more understanding, more language,
like of the how unnormal certain situations were that you
were made to feel were normal, or maybe that even

(01:23):
the things you experienced in your childhood would have convinced
you were normal. Yeah, versus now that you've gone through
probably a lot more self discovery in continuing to be
a writer and continuing to just live and exist in
the world and just heal in general.

Speaker 4 (01:40):
Good question, because, first of all, think about this. I
grew up with a mother who was abusive, so being
beaten was normal to me. And I'm not just talking
about spankings. I'm being I mean being beaten. I was

(02:00):
kidnapped and raped at thirteen. I was kidnapped again at
some point after that, so having men be in control
of my body was also very normal to me from
a very young age. I was taught very early, you
have no you have no autonomy. We're gonna take you,
We're gonna snatch you. Being raped at thirteen showed me

(02:20):
that I there was no didn't matter, and that was
a grown man who did that. So it's like I
just I never belonged to me. So that when I
became of age, I took my autonomy. I over I
over overdid my autonomy because I wanted to prove that

(02:44):
I was control of my body. How do you over write?
I wanted to two things were happening simultaneously. I wanted
to erase. And this is what happens too when you're I.
I believe in through my therapy that when you have
had bad sexual experiences, you want the next one to overwrite, overwrite,

(03:08):
and override the one before. So I'm being raped. You
want to a lot of times redo the experience and
make it better so you can forget the original experience,
but it's very rarely better because you still have the
trauma of the first experience. You can't undo the trauma

(03:30):
just by redoing the act. You can't redo the you know,
you can't undo it. And so what became normal for
me was physical abuse, and I took that autonomy to
another level because I'm like, well, I'm the one that's choosing.
These are choices. I'm making right, but I was making

(03:54):
the choice based on the trauma. So it was a
trauma informed choice, right, just not the same kind of
choice as a healed in form choice. And so that's
why the autonomy was over It was overkill on the autonomy.

(04:15):
The proper kind of autonomy for me would have been
to start to start therapy sooner and then make decisions
based on the healing that was happening. But I didn't
do that, as most people don't do that. So and

(04:36):
looking back, so much of what I wrote about was
just so regular to me, And even now as we're
having these discussions, you can see it's no longer regular too.
I'm like, oh my god, oh.

Speaker 5 (04:47):
My god, Like, do you think that that's maybe why
there was also this shock for you? It's like Why's
like why is everyone?

Speaker 4 (04:54):
This is just how it is? True? It's true, true,
but not just the truth. It's the truth in this
particular world, right, Like I'm not reporting from midwestern Oklahoma,
right right, I'm reporting from Hollywood. Hollywood, bitch, what the
fuck you think goes on here? And it's been going

(05:16):
on since forever. So I was more shocked that people
were shocked about Hollywood, Like this is what happens here.
This is what's always happened here. The drugs have always
been here. Who yeah, what did you think is going on?
Like you know, so it's like one in one. In
one second, you guys want to scream Illuminati, but in
the next second, when I'd show you what's actually happening, like,

(05:36):
oh my god, this is awful, Like what did you
think was happening in this cesspool of a fucking town
where since its invention, kids have been taking advantage of adults, women,
men in your face.

Speaker 6 (05:51):
It wasn't very like hidden, it's so overt.

Speaker 4 (05:55):
So I'm shocked that you're fucking shocked, right, And I'm
shocked that you're blaming me because I'm the young girl
and all these men were so much older than I was,
and no one even clocked that team right now, it
said shit about that or if god, he's dead, bitch,
Like people are dead, like they've gotten old and died
and I'm still here, Like these people are older than
I am. They're eight, nine, ten, sometimes fifteen, twenty years

(06:18):
older than me, and that was never a factor, and
no one was thinking about this, like wait, it was
you were the monster.

Speaker 6 (06:24):
You were somehow right, the bad guy. You were the villain.

Speaker 4 (06:27):
I'm a twenty year old girl, single mom, just trying
to make a buck and the man who and the
men who were in control of the money are like, yeah,
but you gotta do this first, right. I remember being
homeless and men being like, well, if you want to
sleep here, you gotta have sex with me. And at
this point, I don't give a fuck because I got
a baby in the car. It's the middle of winter,
and I'm like, well, just take the pussy real quick.
It's gonna take you five seconds. Bitch. I don't give

(06:48):
a fuck, but me and this baby gotta sleep somewhere
tonight because I have nowhere to live. I'm living in
my car. Those men were in their forties and I
was in my twenties, and we didn't have the life
language we should have, honestly, because a sexual revolution of
the nineteen sixties early seventies gave us a lot of.

Speaker 2 (07:05):
Language, gave white women language.

Speaker 4 (07:10):
Okay, I just watched this thing about that the other day,
so I'm just recapping in my brain what I just saw.
There's a there's a documentary about Miss magazine that I
just watched the other day that spoke about the difference
between white feminism and black feminism and how yeah, so, yes,
I didn't grow up in a black or white society.

(07:33):
I just didn't. So I didn't know that there was
a difference. To be honest, did you grow up.

Speaker 2 (07:37):
On the you were in the islands, you were amongst black.

Speaker 4 (07:40):
People, think that black people think the islands are just black.
The island was a Danish island, right, So it's not
just full of black people. There's blacks, there's whites, there's
there's East Indians. And no, my mother is not a
black woman. It's not, no, my dad no, So yeah, no,
it's it's a completely mixed family. It's and we didn't,

(08:01):
we don't. It's not the same, guys, it's not the same, promise,
it's not the same. It's not the same. It's not
the same. It's so not the same. And there are
a lot of things that I learned in America that
I didn't learn there, And so there was not a
separation of the racism when I was growing up. There's
not a separation between white feminism and black feminism. It
was just women like women ruled where I'm from, So

(08:24):
like I didn't know there was a separation. My family
is a mixed family from Puerto Rican and Danish. That's
the mix of my family, and my dad's side was
like French and Jamaican or something. So, but speaking about
my mom's side, because that's where I grew up, it's
like I didn't have that, you know, I mean, I

(08:44):
have white grandparents, Like, it didn't I'd never I didn't
know any of these things. We're not all the same,
We're not a monolith, and depending on where we grow
up in our communities, we see things very differently. So
I did not understand that in America there was a
difference because while America was going through certain things, my
island was not going through that. Right, So while there
was you know, like water hosing and things of that,

(09:09):
that wasn't happening. So my grandmother couldn't pass that down
to me because it didn't happen to her. She was
married to a white man, and even though there was
some tension between the families, it wasn't like an island
wide thing, you know what I mean, Like I just
didn't get that education because it never No one could
pass that knowledge down to me because it hadn't happened
to them. They weren't here. We were there, and so

(09:34):
what happened here didn't happen everywhere, and it didn't happen there.
And so even though that, that's not to say they
weren't tensions, but it wasn't the same kind of thing.
And coming from a mixed and blended racial family, I
never knew that there was a difference. I just knew
that in my family all the women were boss bitches
and they ran the men around like I didn't know

(09:55):
that white women had something a black women didn't have,
because on my island, all the women had it. It's
twenty seven miles, you know what I mean, that's all
we had. And so I didn't know that. But I
do see it differently. I see I now, looking back,
I realized how much I didn't understand about this country. Honestly,

(10:21):
because in other parts of the world where this book
is sold, it doesn't It didn't get the same response.

Speaker 5 (10:25):
That's so interesting. I mean, I would imagine so, but
that's so interesting to me. In Europe is not the
same response about it the same way.

Speaker 4 (10:31):
Yeah, I know, it's America. America has bigotry deeply routed
in its DNA.

Speaker 3 (10:40):
It's interesting too because when the book came out, I
was about to be a senior, and I, you know,
it was very pivotal in my life, Like it stuck hard,
Like it meant something to me because I related with
to you. I understood, And I think it's interesting as
like a sixteen or seventeen year old, like senior, I
understood even at that age age the trauma you had

(11:01):
experienced and how it was obviously related to your the
decisions after and your zero fucks given, and like I
understood that. But when I saw you get so much
backlash from like you know, it was it was everywhere,
like on TV, I think.

Speaker 2 (11:17):
For women it was extremely empowering.

Speaker 6 (11:19):
Yeah, it was.

Speaker 5 (11:20):
It was the men that encroached on that moment and
made it this other thing. Whereas maybe in other countries,
and I quote me if I'm wrong, like there's a
more of an openness and like maybe not an openness,
but there's the women still have a say in some capacity,
even though patriarchy has bled its blood blood throughout the

(11:41):
world and everywhere here is like because there's such an
inception point here.

Speaker 6 (11:47):
But it was just.

Speaker 3 (11:48):
Odd to me, even as a child that people were
misunderstanding the very clear message in the book. I was like,
it's interesting that these are the things that people are
talking about, that these are the people that are to write.

Speaker 4 (12:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (12:01):
I remember thinking so odd because I so clearly.

Speaker 3 (12:04):
Understood the depth of the story and the thread of
the decisions and who like it. Just it resonated with
me and I understood it, and I thought it was
odd that you were getting a lot of backlash and
it was just like people were talking shit, and I
just couldn't understand, like, well, did you read the book?

Speaker 4 (12:20):
Most people didn't. So here's what I found out and
what I didn't realize before So Confessions came out. It
was two thousand and five, and think about the internet
at that time, Twitter was brand new. No Twitter came
around two thousand and six. We didn't have Twitter, we
had Facebook, and Facebook was brand new. I just realized
a lot of people who read this book or yeah,

(12:41):
who were very young. I'm hearing it now. Oh, I
was in junior high. I was eleven, I was and
so I remember So Confessions was embargoed, which means nobody
got it until the day of So for months people
were wondering what's in this book? What's in this book?
And then people would make up things that they would
say were excerpts that couldn't have been excerpts because if

(13:04):
nobody had seen it, Barnes and Noble didn't even get
it until the day of which I think was June
sixth or something. Even Barnes and Noble couldn't get it.
Nobody got it. Everything was drop shipped day off. Okay,
that's what in Bargo's and Bargoed books are. I remember
there was a list online of like hundreds of men

(13:25):
that I'd slept with that I'm pretty sure now that
I realized how young everyone was at the time. Who
was like really into some kid probably made up on
the internet. It was men who were dead. It was
like Big Pun, It was like Puck Eve. And even
to this day, I have had people who were asking me
for interviews about how like what was going on in

(13:45):
the nineties, like hip hop in the nineties, I was
a child in the nineties because they had gotten this list.
I had someone recently send an email that was doing
a documentary on Ellen Iverson and they were like, we'd
like to talk to you about your experience and your
relationship with Alan Iverson. I was like, I have never
met this man in my entire life. I realized that

(14:10):
so much of what people thought was in the book
was never in the book, and that what people thought
I had done I had never done, which I thought
I just and it just really honestly dawned on me
just recently. I'm like, these were children playing on the internet.
These were young people because older people weren't on socials

(14:31):
back then, Like it wasn't like a thing. I'm like,
these are young people making a list two hundred and
something odd men, most of whom I had never met.
And I have the most boring sex life. I know.
I hate to say this, Like I know people think
it's the most it's not. It's you, honestly, can I
be honest. It's the same men. It's the same fucking that.

(14:55):
I was laughing about this with one of them the
other day. I was like, bro, I spind the block
so much because I don't I never want new bodies.
But everyone has this idea that I've had all this
sex that I've never had, and I'm like, where did
this come from? It was like Snoop Dog and like
again Pac and like Pun Pun had been dead since

(15:15):
I was like fifteen, Like it was all these people
that I've never met. I've seen interviews of men old
like old school rappers who nobody knows, claiming they slept
with me, who I've never met, who have never met,
and doing it for like clout and SEO and like

(15:37):
clicks or whatever. Reass s el pussy yo, men, I've
never met, bro that you show rappers from the nineties
that I've never met, like I was. I was in
high school in the nineties, like I was in Arizona. Bitch,

(16:00):
fucking meet me men who have lied on their dicks
on the internet, and everyone just buys it.

Speaker 5 (16:05):
Of course because it's fun, because it's fun to just
make believe and just keep the story going.

Speaker 4 (16:11):
Meanwhile, it's been the same three people for like twenty years,
like the same one, not twenty but like the same
three to five. It's the same. I might I'm dick.
I might venture out once in a while, but like
literally it's the same.

Speaker 6 (16:24):
Crew, familiar, familiar Dick.

Speaker 4 (16:28):
It's just like the crew, just me and the crew
and the girl, like you are all my bitches and
like you're I'm what's up and they're all friends, and
like everybody understands, like, Oh, it's your turn. It's your turn.

Speaker 5 (16:39):
It's your turn, bro, it's your turn.

Speaker 4 (16:43):
Because you can't trust new Dick because new Dick comes
with like problems, guys, I can't trust new dicks. So like,
whoever I was fucking twenty years ago might be the
same person I'm fucking now, you know what I mean.
And anytime I try something you it's a problem. These
men are. This is a problem. It's always a thing.

(17:05):
So I stopped doing all that. But like, I don't
know how we started this conversation.

Speaker 2 (17:14):
God, let me get back. I have a I have
I have another question.

Speaker 5 (17:16):
I know this is getting a little bit long because
I feel like our last episode was two parts because.

Speaker 3 (17:22):
Be sat here and talked for hours, because because it's
fun and we have to catch up and I love
I love hearing you speak.

Speaker 2 (17:30):
There's a question that I thought I was interested in
knowing as well. It was who was it? Where is
this question?

Speaker 6 (17:36):
Said?

Speaker 2 (17:36):
Oh?

Speaker 5 (17:42):
Yes, So have any of the people from your book
ever apologized for how they showed up in your life?

Speaker 4 (17:50):
Oh that's a really good question, honestly, IRV. God he did.
Oh wow, IRV god he did. I saw him at
a club. It was a it was a it was
a while ago, and I went to this club by myself.
I don't know what the fuck I was doing there.
It's like some fucking random clo. I don't know what
the fuck I was doing there. And I went to
the bar and he was there by himself, and he

(18:10):
was like, you're alone.

Speaker 2 (18:11):
I'm like yeah.

Speaker 4 (18:11):
He's like, you just came here alone. I'm like, yeah,
you know. And he did apologize to me at the
bar because and he was like, you know what I
loved about the book. He said, it's because there are
things you could have said that you didn't say. It
was like, and I appreciated that because I knew a
lot more than I said, and so he said I
really appreciated that. And he was like, I'm just I'm
just sorry for the way, well, you know, I reacted

(18:34):
to like the fact that you were telling your story
and yeah, and it was fine. And then he invited
me back to the house that night, and I ghosted
him but whatever, because I was like, you're not gonna.

Speaker 6 (18:43):
Set me up. I'll take that.

Speaker 4 (18:46):
Yeah, And I dipped out, but it was nice. It
was nice of him to acknowledge and apologize.

Speaker 3 (18:51):
And be a man and be a man about it. Yeah, yeah,
that's nice. And then the kind of overrides it by
him inviting into.

Speaker 4 (18:55):
That kind of But then but then he went on
and then he went on Drink Champs and told this
lie so like not even like a couple a year
or two after that, he went on Drink Drink Drink
Champs and he was like, he does a story about
how I took down like the whole crew of like
worker bees or something like. I don't know what the

(19:18):
story was specifically, but remember it just being such a lie.
And I don't know what that was about. Anyone who
knows me knows this because because first because I met
jar rule first, and then I went to IRV because
I go from like lieutenant to like whoever you're going
in charge? Yeah exactly right, so like I'm not going

(19:39):
to go to like the assistant after that. That's a
crazy notion and everyone just ate that up, like oh,
like and he talked about it as if there was
a line outside the door and I took all these
like crews wow, after apologizing, after apologizing to me, And
maybe that's because I go. Yeah, I think it.

Speaker 6 (19:59):
Lets you know, it wasn't a genuine apology.

Speaker 4 (20:01):
It was exactly it was bush yeah, which is why
I didn't go to the thing. Remember I'm telling that
lie on drink Champs and me just thinking like and
people will eat that up not knowing me. But I
only fuck with bosses, and so there's no way in
the world of fuck your assistant and like the key
grip and like the sound man and like it's not
my vibe, Like I'm a money girl, Like where's the

(20:22):
money yet, Like I'm not gonna like this is insane.

Speaker 5 (20:26):
I think it's so crazy. Like to your quote that
you shared earlier, Margaret, I can't remember her last name,
but would at Wood. Yes, I should know that because
I watched every season of The Handmaid's Tale and I
was very upset by how it ended. Yeah, I was
gonna go back and revisit it, but not anymore.

Speaker 2 (20:41):
Bitch, it's good.

Speaker 6 (20:42):
It's dark.

Speaker 2 (20:43):
I know.

Speaker 6 (20:44):
That's why empty of the path, I get too deep.

Speaker 5 (20:46):
Anyway, Yes, we should watch it, but just know the
ending is not what it's just not going to satisfy it.
But the quote of men are men are worried that
men are women are going to laugh at them? And
what happens when a woman does laugh at them? Yes,
and their reactions even silently, even when no one knows,
because he probably looked at him inviting you and you
saying no, thank you.

Speaker 4 (21:07):
I didn't even say no thank you. I was like yes,
And then I got in my car, and then he
was texting me like I'm at the corner, blah blah blah,
I'm I'm on my way and I was going to
the opposite direction and his laugh so he got the
drink chance and it was like and then she took
down twenty of my I'm like, bro, what are you
talking about.

Speaker 5 (21:23):
Often that the that echo of what happens after they
that they feel like they've been laughed at is where
the lies and where the deterioration of our of our
said reputation goes. Where men start to just talk out
of their ass and just literally makeup shit and people
can't believe that it.

Speaker 2 (21:41):
Would be a lie. Yeah, I just I can't believe
that it would be a lie.

Speaker 4 (21:45):
That's just so crazy. But that goes back to the
admiration of certain kinds of people that I feel you
should not admire because like these people haven't done half
the ship that like like scientists have done or like
something important, but just at the adverse. So he's a
producer who's to be a DJ, and you're gonna take
his fucking word. And so it's like, no matter what

(22:05):
I do, I will always be in some people's eyes
this person because a man said up was that person.
When it goes back to the list of two hundred
men that I never even fucking met, most of them
to whatever the fuck IRV God he said on drink
Champs was a fucking out and out lie because why
would I go from the boss to the boss's helper.
That's nuts. If you've seen fucking scarface, you know what.

(22:28):
That's fucking nuts.

Speaker 6 (22:29):
Like it's just not logical.

Speaker 4 (22:30):
Bosses only bitch. I've been that bitch forever. Bro Like,
there's no way in the world, fucking your assistant you're
gonna bring me coffe, I'm gonna give you pussy, Like
what are you talking about? And so like the fact.
But it's like if the man says it, then it
becomes fact. If the woman says it, then it's questionable.
Every single fucking time. And the men that you're admiring

(22:50):
are trash, bro Like, they're such trash in their personal lives.
They don't take care of their children, they cheat on
their fucking wives, they never fucking go home home. They're
drug addicts, like fuck, they're alcoholics, like fucking crazy, Like
these men need these many therapy, baddest fuck and these
are your idols. And there's another saying that goes, I

(23:13):
don't care about your booze because I see who you
cheer for. Like, I don't care if you don't like me, bitch,
because I see who you like. I don't give a fuck.
I don't like you're not Yeah, exactly, like, look at
the people you uphold. I don't give a fuck if
you don't like me.

Speaker 6 (23:29):
Look at them good, that's actually a good indication.

Speaker 4 (23:32):
Look at the gum you revere. You think I give
a fuck whether you like me or not. You're revering
chama lesters, you're revering rapists, you're revering drug addicts, you're
revering fucking cokes like, you're revering weirdos. Bro Like, I
don't give a fuck if you don't like me. Look
at the people you fucking lust after. These people are
not good people, bro, So who gives a fuck if

(23:53):
you like me or not? I don't You're not You're
not my type of fucking person. We're not the fucking same.

Speaker 2 (23:58):
How has that been?

Speaker 6 (23:59):
You know? Like this is its been twenty years, you're
obviously comee from like twenty six. You're still like a baby.

Speaker 3 (24:05):
In ways until this point and you've got the opportunity
for people to hear your story, but they've also see
your evolution. Has it been difficult like for other people
to under like people thinking they can talk like about
you even after you're apologizing, like to take you in
this version of yourself.

Speaker 4 (24:22):
Okay, So I'm gonna say this. I know for a
fact as a grown woman now just a few years
from fifty, what I know for a fact is that
most people have a really hard time evolving in their
own lives. Most people are stuck. Most of your listeners

(24:43):
and watchers are stuck. They're in the same place, doing
the same thing with the same people, and they don't
want to be there, and they don't know how or
afraid to shift. I under that's human nature. It's just
the human experience. It's easy to get stuck. People like
me don't get stuck. This is what makes us special,

(25:07):
This is what makes me different, is that every six
months I'm moving, I'm doing something different, I'm onto something
or somebody or some I'm always moving. I think that
it's difficult for those people, for most people to imagine

(25:28):
my growth, because they have a hard time growing, excelling,
and moving forward. Again, it's human nature. It's so easy
to get stuck. It's so easy to get stuck in
a relationship that you fucking hate, with a man you
can't stand. It's so easy to get bogged down with
the kids. It's so easy to get bogged down in
your job. It's so easy to do what your parents
tell you to do, even though that's not what you
really want to do. There are so many instances where

(25:50):
it's so easy to get stuck in a version of
yourself that you don't really want to be in, and
then not know how to change and shift and move forward.
Most people are there. I've never been that person, and
that scares people. It excites people, and it ignites curiosity
in people, but also it makes people angry. I will shift.
I will move any chance I get from man to man,

(26:13):
from place to place, from state to state. It doesn't
matter to me. I am living my life as freely
as any man because men are allowed to do a
lot of shit they don't let women do. But I
do all the shit men do. I'm gonna bring you
one step closer. I am living my life as freely
as any mediocre white man because mediocre white men aren't

(26:39):
even qualified for shit the ship that they fucking do.
I'm doing shit I ain't fucking qualified for. I don't
give up. But because I'm gonna live my life just
as freely, openly and unqualified as any mediocre fucking white
man on his planet, I don't give a fuck, and
you can't stop me. You can't slow me down nothing.

(27:02):
So whatever people think, I realize this, that thought process
is not about me, Bro, That's about them and their
struggle to shift and move and live freely. I live free.
I have no burdens, I have no issues. I have
no fucking problems. Nothing's a problem to me. If something
is a problem to me, I leave it. I just

(27:23):
fucking shuck and jive. I just know I'm out, Nigga,
like Houdini, Like I'm out. You want to see me
no more, bro, I will post it here, husbands, baby daddies.
Fucking what. I will leave the situation so fast now
talk to you. It's as if I've never fucking been there.
So whatever issues people have about me, I know it's

(27:44):
not about me. I know it's about them, and I must.

Speaker 2 (27:49):
Feel very free. It feels like freedom.

Speaker 4 (27:51):
Yes, of course, freedom is the game, Like that's what
you want. You want to be free?

Speaker 5 (27:56):
Because I think people might have a m might assume
the opposite, because so many people have opinions about you.

Speaker 4 (28:03):
Oh, like y'all don't give a fuck we broke people
in Iowa care about me? Like I don't have an
opinion about really nothing or anybody because it doesn't matter
to me. I'm so self centered. I am the center
of my life. I am the center of everything. I'm
in the center of my family. I'm the center. If
I break down, everybody else breaks down. I am it.
I am she, I am her, so like I don't
give a fuck about fucking Julie and Iowa. I don't

(28:26):
give a fuck about this bitch, Like I don't give
a fuck what this bitch gotta say about me. Who
the fuck is this bitch? Like do you know how
much my bills are like, I am focused people like
what keeps you motivated? My bills?

Speaker 6 (28:36):
Bitch?

Speaker 4 (28:37):
Do you know how expensive LA is? Yeah? I don't
live in LA and New York? Do you know how
expensive this shit is?

Speaker 7 (28:42):
Like?

Speaker 4 (28:42):
This shit is not a game. I don't give a fuck.
And that's important to know too, is that what I
eat don't make you shit and vice versa. I come
from a fucking era where we understood that, Okay, the
dicks I fuck don't make you nut. Why are you
so Why are you so into the dicks like lee, Like,
focus on your plate, bitch, eat your food, what's on

(29:05):
your plate? Because chances are we don't make the same money.
We're not in the tax in the same tax bracket.
We're not fucking the same kind of niggas. Chances are
you're doing way worse than me. Get off my dick, bitch,
and go do something that's gonna make your life better.
It's important to tend to your own garden. It's important
to really focus in on your life. Stop worrying about

(29:28):
what I'm doing with the next bitch doing with this
who gives off? Fuck? I don't know what any of
these holes are. I don't know what anybody's doing. I
only know what I'm doing because if I take my
eyes off the prize, my whole family falls. I cannot
afford to invest in anybody else's life well being. I
sure as fuck cannot be in anybody else's pussy but

(29:51):
my own. I don't care who you fuck. I don't.
I don't give a fuck about nobody, and anybody who
cares so much about other people's lives to me, I
always ask them this, while you're caring so much about
other people, who's caring about you? Who's really looking out

(30:14):
and caring? No, Because here's the deal. You said it earlier.
Nobody's coming to save you. Who the fuck wakes up
in the morning and is like, I wonder how Jamila
is doing. It's gonna be you, it's gonna be Erica,
it's gonna be your man, might be your mamam, be
your daddy, whatever. But the rest of the world doesn't
wake up. All these people here love you, guys, but
you don't wake up and think, I hope Jamiala is okay?

Speaker 6 (30:37):
Did she eat today?

Speaker 4 (30:39):
Does she need money? Is she okay? Should I send
her something? Like? Nobody because we all have our own ship. No,
one's thinking, no one's coming to save you, No one's
thinking about you, and no one's coming to rescue you.
So you need to be able to self rescue.

Speaker 6 (30:51):
Self rescue, come back to the rescue.

Speaker 4 (30:53):
Is that?

Speaker 2 (30:54):
What's the affirmation of the day. Yeah, we usually ask
our guests to share an affirmation. Do you have one?
Is it that.

Speaker 4 (31:04):
I have so many affirmations that I really like. I
don't know which one I think I gave one last time.
I'm trying to think of something. I have like twenty
seven of them that I teach my coaching clients, and
we have them and we go through it all. I think.
I think for me, it's a very simple one and
it helps me every day in making my decisions. And
it's it's three words, and then what.

Speaker 6 (31:28):
Then what was this? I think this might have been
the same.

Speaker 4 (31:32):
I'll give you another one. No person, no problem, no person,
no problem. So a lot of times we have problems,
we think we have problems. We don't have problems. We
have people. And when you delete the people, you delete
the problems, like do you have a problem disappear like.

Speaker 6 (31:52):
Do you have a problem problem?

Speaker 4 (31:55):
Do you have a problem, or do you have a
baby daddy. Do you have a problem.

Speaker 6 (32:00):
We cut the baby daddy.

Speaker 8 (32:02):
They don't want to be Do you have a problem.

Speaker 3 (32:08):
That might be that.

Speaker 4 (32:12):
Personal problem, because here's the deal, Like men want to
fuck you, but they don't want to be fathers. You
make them fathers and they don't want to be. A
man will say he wants to be a dad, but
he really don't want to be. Most men don't want
to be married and they don't want to have children.

Speaker 3 (32:25):
It's interesting someone actually asks a question. So now that
you said that, okay, yeah, this advice question, this is
actually on.

Speaker 4 (32:31):
Also, some of these men are bisexual and they really
want men and they don't really want you. Okay, And
I've learned that firsthand. Some of these men really want
dick and they really don't want you to say.

Speaker 2 (32:42):
That really quickly. So this is an advice question Tribe
at Patreon.

Speaker 5 (32:46):
If you haven't subscribed to Patreon, are already by now
listening to this episode, I want to go ahead and
encourage you one more time. Go to patreon dot com,
backslash Good Mom's Bad Choices, get in.

Speaker 2 (32:55):
On these live experiences.

Speaker 5 (32:57):
Come get our episodes early and get some bonus content while.

Speaker 6 (33:01):
You're adding it contribute to the conversation.

Speaker 3 (33:03):
These questions have been phenomenal, so I'm appreciatives. This question
comes from a thirty one year old female. I was
with my boyfriend for five years. He broke up with
me because I wouldn't terminate my pregnancy. What advice would
you give me. I'm currently two mens pregnant and would
like to self rescue and be happy.

Speaker 4 (33:22):
I think that if women want children, we're better off
having children at sperm banks because okay, hold on, hold on, no, listen.
Out here in LA we have California Cryo Bank. I
know this because I because.

Speaker 6 (33:38):
I know this.

Speaker 4 (33:40):
You can pick out your baby. You can see the
baby picture of the man who donated. You can see
what his degrees are, you can go through all the stats.
You're laughing, bitch, but listen. Some of you want babies,
and what you don't want is the men. You don't
want what comes with the babies.

Speaker 5 (33:57):
Well, I think that they do. It's just the men
rising to the occasion.

Speaker 6 (34:02):
You know what.

Speaker 2 (34:02):
I think?

Speaker 6 (34:02):
What I really love it all time alone.

Speaker 4 (34:05):
They're never going to rise to the fucking occasion.

Speaker 2 (34:07):
So automatically I didn't want a baby.

Speaker 5 (34:09):
I had a man and we made a baby and
I and I.

Speaker 4 (34:13):
Want you also backward. Listen to me. Stop wanting men.

Speaker 2 (34:16):
I was twenty seven.

Speaker 4 (34:17):
They're never going to rise to the okay, so let
me just let's just go through this right now. The
men are not the prize. It's not what you want.
Relationships should not be the goal. They should be the
byproducts of your goals. So for instance, you don't want
a man. You want to go to Paris and you
want to learn about art and get into.

Speaker 5 (34:35):
Culture, and you get if it's on Falcony culture art,
sick Frenchman.

Speaker 4 (34:41):
And you just happen to run into somebody seeking it.

Speaker 3 (34:44):
It's coming to you when you're ready. You're not out
on the prid. Oftentimes, when you look deeply and you're
looking for stuf.

Speaker 6 (34:51):
You're not going to find it.

Speaker 3 (34:52):
It's when you're at ease, that's when you're feminine, at
your softness, that you're going to invite in what you need.

Speaker 2 (34:57):
And I.

Speaker 4 (34:59):
So they're not the goal. They are the byproduct of
the goal. Got it too. Some women are getting into
relationships just because they want children. Some women are very
much so I've seen that a lot, and they're forcing
themselves into relationships that they really shouldn't be, especially women,
especially women over thirty five going into their forties, or

(35:19):
they're forcing themselves into relationships because they want to have children.
If that's the case, bypass the relationship. Go to your
local cryobank, pick out your sperm, Spend five hundred dollars.
Go to your gynocologist. He'll put it in for you. Boom,
you're pregnant. No fucking you don't have to deal with
the bullshit.

Speaker 2 (35:38):
They want babies, but they also want You're not gonna
get it.

Speaker 4 (35:41):
You're not gonna get it home. You're not gonna get it.
You're not gonna get it. Stop it, stop it, stop it.
How what's the divorce rate?

Speaker 2 (35:48):
Hi?

Speaker 4 (35:48):
How many women are you seeing on Instagram crying their
eyes out about the ruins of their marriage and it's
not girlies, curlies. How many statistics do you need before
you realize the system is broken. You're not going to
beat the system. You're not going to be the only

(36:10):
person whose marriage works out. It's not nineteen forty seven. Like,
the men have too many options, and a lot of
them want men. We are laughing, also, we are serious.
A lot of the men want men I know because

(36:31):
I've dated them. They love Dick. I know because I've
given it to them. She's a strap on. Her name
is Pinky. I've had it for a while. I'm telling
you right now, these men love Dick. I'm not making
this up. Have your children because you're gonna end up

(36:51):
alone anyway.

Speaker 2 (36:52):
Do you think it's a bet?

Speaker 6 (36:55):
Don't fuck the relationship bypass the drama?

Speaker 4 (36:57):
PA, If you want children, if yet to decide what
was Wilson important to you? If children is most important
to you, because you're running out of time biologically, right,
don't worry about the man. Don't force yourself into a
relationship because you want to find old them later. Right.
Once you have your baby that you've chosen, right, then
you find your man later.

Speaker 3 (37:17):
And you're actually more equipped to find your man later
in life because you're more equipped, you've done more healing,
you're not as stupid, you're just like you're less able
to put up with some bullshit. I do feel like
there's no way the twenty seven year old me had
the tools.

Speaker 5 (37:31):
Well, you know what, it makes me think about how
motherhood is such an initiation and it's not an initiation
because there's the men are involved. It's an initiation because
you have this experience between you and your body and
this child and then you enter into this space. So like, yes,
it's nice to have the support of the masculine of Absolutely,
I don't believe that, like kids don't need their fathers.

Speaker 2 (37:50):
That's not what I'm saying.

Speaker 5 (37:51):
I'm just saying that there is an initiation that women
go through singularly as women when we give birth, and
that sometimes that's what you're seeking, and that's what you
need in order to then go find your man right
and then sometimes it doesn't have to happen like Ryan
partnership that way. I just need to go through this initiation,
have this child, this experience, and then andy and then.

Speaker 3 (38:16):
Imagine the mental preparation you've already had, like I'm gonna
get pregnant alone, I'm gonna get Essentially, that's what's because
you're doing it anyway, because you do it with this
illusion with the guy.

Speaker 4 (38:27):
I stop being delusion all Delulu was not the answer.

Speaker 3 (38:32):
Oh my god, you live the programming because you're supposed
to do that. Even though I when I got pregnant,
I called my home girl, I said this nigga bitch
and I'm pregnant.

Speaker 6 (38:40):
She said, he's still think that's the truth.

Speaker 2 (38:42):
He thinks of your bitch, thinks.

Speaker 6 (38:43):
To your slat and he thinks your bitch, and it's
not going to change. You have a baby, and I said,
bet you're right.

Speaker 3 (38:47):
And then I proceeded to have a baby with the
nigga who called me a slatiner bitch. And guess what
he did probably still call me a Slatin bitch after
and he touched me in my face, and there was
a lot of trauma that had to be healed from
it in order to leave.

Speaker 4 (38:57):
Because I need to imagine if you had just gone
to the sprum bank.

Speaker 3 (39:00):
I wasn't mentally prepared to be a sing I'd rather
be a try. I tried so hard to get punched
in my face and then be a single mom when
I could have just not got punched in my face
and I could.

Speaker 6 (39:10):
Have just said, this is this is what you're this
is what we're doing.

Speaker 3 (39:13):
I mean, I probably would have never happened because programming.
But I was not going to cryobank if I didn't
get pregnant.

Speaker 2 (39:19):
But that is listen, I see both sides.

Speaker 5 (39:21):
I see I e both sides, but I also understand
like the women that women that want to have the
baby right now, go have the baby, go plant go
like she said, go to the cryobank, Go to the cryobank.

Speaker 2 (39:32):
I saw some ads on Instagram, kind body or some shit.
I don't fucking know.

Speaker 5 (39:36):
You're probably getting you too, You're getting I keep getting
fed for they're spending millions of dollars because everyone says, kind.

Speaker 6 (39:42):
I must know how old people are. Oh my god,
they can probably be.

Speaker 2 (39:44):
Like literally trying.

Speaker 3 (39:44):
It's not that I am forty four and like really
get bitches who are like, fuck, I gotta have a baby.

Speaker 5 (39:49):
But it might be you just need your your spirit
is and your body is asking you to go through
this initiation. So honor it and then figure out the
other part later because you can. We're proof that you can.

Speaker 4 (40:01):
Just know.

Speaker 6 (40:02):
It's not easy.

Speaker 5 (40:03):
It's not it's not going to be great. And when
you do it, you're going to maybe sometimes wish you
had a man.

Speaker 4 (40:08):
Guys, no you're not home.

Speaker 6 (40:09):
You might you might to take the baby, take this.
Take babies.

Speaker 4 (40:15):
Do men take babies brong?

Speaker 2 (40:16):
Sometimes yes they do, and they.

Speaker 4 (40:18):
Can plain and they call you for every thing and
got that break.

Speaker 5 (40:23):
Yes, at least you got the bitch least don't listen
to Eric listeners in Vegas right now with her dad,
and I'm so happy about it than your women together.
Just a personal assistant, baby daddy. I'm okay with that
because I got a break. If I had a cryo baby,
I'd have no one to take this goddamn baby.

Speaker 4 (40:39):
You have girlfriends, you have family and a tribe.

Speaker 2 (40:43):
That's the The whole other thing is that you don't.

Speaker 6 (40:44):
Have a try your tribe.

Speaker 4 (40:47):
Don't have a cryo baby.

Speaker 6 (40:49):
Tribe that's important.

Speaker 3 (40:51):
Don't have a cryo baby unless you have a tribe
that and they need to maybe sign contracts.

Speaker 6 (40:56):
They need Maybe.

Speaker 2 (40:57):
I'm just saying, there's time, just like there's steps.

Speaker 4 (40:59):
Hold on, you should ask you guys are doing too
much because also there are women. Okay, let's go back
a little bit. Black women are the most agreed in
the country. Okay, black women the highest educated group in
this country. Yes, black women are out earning black men.

Speaker 2 (41:13):
Amen.

Speaker 4 (41:13):
Okay, black women can afford childcare, we can afford nannies,
we can afford help, We can do this. We also
have family and friends. You don't need a man to
have your baby. Would be nice to have a man
who can do things. Yes, but overwhelmingly we are seeing
that men do not want to be fathers. They're not

(41:35):
planning these babies with you. You're planning them with your
fucking self the minute. And even the ones who think
who purport to be planning the minute you pop up pregnant,
they're like, we can't do this, Okay. It is important
to understand our biological need is different than theirs. They
can have children into their nineties, it doesn't matter for them.

(41:58):
We only have a short amount of time. So if
you want to have children, have your baby, and sometimes
you just gotta get into a quick situation, get your baby,
be out, like, just be the fuck out. I think
where you give yourself toil in trouble is where you
are trying to make men who don't want to be
fathers to your baby participate in the raising and financial

(42:23):
responsibility of your baby. I think it is important to
understand and to when someone asked earlier about how I've
taken care of myself, I never put my first son's father.
There was no court, there was no child so any kids,
I'm never gonna go to court. There will never be
child support. I will never Cha'll never fucking contact you.

(42:45):
I don't give a fuck about you. You are, as
my father would say, the bag I brought the groceries
home in Okay, the groceries are for me. You're the bag.
You're the one that had to make this come to
fruition for me. This is for women who aren't in loving,
caring relationships. This is for the women who want babies
before they can't have babies anymore, or before they get

(43:07):
to a certain age.

Speaker 2 (43:08):
This is this is not her, though she's pregnant right now.

Speaker 6 (43:11):
But she says she doesn't anything to do with it,
and I don't force it.

Speaker 4 (43:14):
Don't don't force it.

Speaker 3 (43:15):
If this is your choice, and you and he told
you he don't want a baby, and continuing.

Speaker 4 (43:18):
But if you want the baby, leave him the fuck alone.

Speaker 6 (43:21):
Yeah, let him be. Don't force anyone to do anything.

Speaker 4 (43:24):
Yes, leave him the funck alone. It's okay to raise
a baby by yourself.

Speaker 2 (43:27):
Then, so then are you saying if that's if that's
what you want to do, you don't want to don't
try to get child support. Don't try to.

Speaker 4 (43:32):
I personally am not a child support girly. I but
I make enough money to not do so, and I
don't force babies on people if I'm not going to
take care of them by myself. So sometimes again, some
men are just the groceries you. So some men are
just the bag you bring the groceries home in. They're
just the conduit, right if this person wants a baby, I.

Speaker 5 (43:50):
Mean, my question is they've been together for five years?
Have they not had this conversation before?

Speaker 4 (43:54):
Ye? Have you guys had a woman's together? Is that
a man's together? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (43:58):
I'm curious about what the together like?

Speaker 4 (44:00):
Right? Because okay, guys, girl, I wish I could just
shake all of you. If you ask a woman if
she's in a relationship, she'll say yes. Sometimes you ask
that man, he'd be.

Speaker 2 (44:10):
Like, nah, yeah, that's true.

Speaker 4 (44:12):
So like, her together may not be his together.

Speaker 6 (44:15):
Would you call that delusion?

Speaker 4 (44:17):
No, because men will trick you into thinking that you're
in a relationship, but he is someplace else entirely. He
might have two or three different relationships happening that are separate.
So like, at the end of the day, if he's
not with it, it's her decision on whether her body,
her choice, whatever she wants to do. She's doing what
she wants to do. But I'm not for I'm not

(44:39):
a child support girly. I'm just not. I don't have
the energy. I don't give a fuck about it. I
make enough money. And if you can't support your child yourself,
then don't have your fucking child. Because what I'm not
gonna do is be in court every two weeks trying
to take some scumbag dirt nigga down for three hundred dollars.
That's the fuck. I'm not gonna like them. Let me
tell you, I don't give it's my bague.

Speaker 2 (44:57):
It's funny. That's just right now.

Speaker 5 (44:59):
Because I saw someone else, a girl that I know
she'd made a reel yesterday or so two days ago
about like never put my baby daddy on child support,
like all the ways, like all the assumptions you might
have about her life. And I wrote in my I
wrote it down in my phone because that actually annoyed me,
because I took a really long time to put my
baby daddy on child support. And now I'm like, I

(45:22):
wish I would have done it sooner. I wish I
would have held this, held him accountable sooner. And because
I didn't, I got into the relationship thinking that we
were doing this together. So I think a lot of
people are not necessarily think can I raise this child alone?
Like no, because I'm not entering into this partnership thinking
that I'm raising this child alone. I thought we were
getting married, I thought we were planning a life together.

(45:42):
I was not necessarily financially prepared to have the baby
because you told me, don't worry, I got it. I'm
going to take care of us. And now I'm in
this situation where I'm like, fuck, you know. So when
I when I saw that, I was like, I don't
think I think that you have to move according like
and you said, like, this is just my this is
my testimony. I think you have to move according to

(46:03):
whatever the agreement is that you had with that person.
If that person said we're doing this together, put that
nigga on child support because you said we're doing this together.
And now I've had this baby, and now I'm not
going to be the sole person responsible. Yes, I'm gonna
be I'm gonna rise to the occasion. And I think
that's what and what a lot of single moms realize
they have to do. And that's why we have this

(46:24):
platform where we've had to empower ourselves and empower women
to take responsibility and say fuck it, I don't need you.

Speaker 2 (46:29):
I'm going to figure it out.

Speaker 5 (46:31):
But in the interim of me fucking figuring this shit out,
put that nigga on child's you bridge the contract.

Speaker 3 (46:36):
Yeah, and if you can't afford and if you can
afford the child without this person, I mean whatever, Like
whether you could or couldn't and you had entered into
this agreement together, that's on you.

Speaker 5 (46:46):
But I feel like there's a lot of women that
don't put their baby daddy on child support out of
fear of looking like that girl or looking like you know,
they are being worried about needing someone. And it's like,
we made this child together, and we agreed to do
this together. And I think that, like, I don't know,
for me, I had a lot of shame and guilt

(47:07):
around even going to court, like being like I don't
I don't want to do it.

Speaker 2 (47:11):
I don't want him to think that I'm a gold digger.

Speaker 6 (47:13):
And I'm like, what the fuck he thinks thought he
was a good dad.

Speaker 4 (47:18):
You know.

Speaker 5 (47:19):
So I think that, like, like you said, like it's
you have to find your your sweet spot in that
in that understanding and I will say too though as
someone that went through the process of getting child support.

Speaker 3 (47:31):
It is an ugly process. It made me feel disgusted
with myself.

Speaker 5 (47:35):
I literally had to become a private investigator of this
nigger like look taking screenshots of him buying diamonds like
he can afford it, you know, like this.

Speaker 2 (47:44):
It was gross. I was like, I hate that I
have to Why why.

Speaker 3 (47:47):
Are you even putting me in the position that I
have that You're avoiding your responsibility so deeply that I
even have to go to the process of going You're
so vain and stupid that I can even have the
opportunity to screenshot. But this is you're making me go
so low. But you're such a scum that I have
that's what I have to do to prove that you're
making money, so that you allocated a properly And.

Speaker 5 (48:08):
And and of course hopefully those that those feelings and
for me, those feelings have they motivate you to them
be like, let me figure this shit out, because I
don't want to ever have to fucking ask you for shit,
you know, And so hopefully that is I don't want
to say hopefully that's the goal. Hopefully the goal is
that you guys can copare it together, and you guys
can equally be responsibil responsible for the child.

Speaker 2 (48:27):
But in the case that it's not, do what the
fuck you have to do?

Speaker 3 (48:30):
Yeah, and we always do because that's what women do.
We figure it the fuck out.

Speaker 2 (48:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (48:34):
And honestly, does he even have any money? Because I'm not.

Speaker 3 (48:36):
Going a like out of my way to go get
your fucking one seventy five a month. But it sounds
like that, But it sounds like in this particular situation.
I don't know what the conversation have been before in
their relationship, but I'm assuming they have talked about children
if they've been together for five years in a relationship
that they both knew that they were in. Yeah, and
perhaps like she's very shocked. I don't know if she's
still in the chat as of now, shocked and surprise

(48:59):
that he doesn't want to have a baby with her.
But I just feel like, if you're choosing to continue
with the pregnancy and knowing that this person is not
maybe going to participate in the raising of this child,
then you are. Now it's a new terms and agreement,
there's a new contract that's being made, and the contract
is that you are the sole provider of this child

(49:19):
because he's telling you what his where, his where?

Speaker 2 (49:22):
His mind is that yeah, And I think that.

Speaker 5 (49:25):
That too, like for women where I when I see
that this happens, are men feeling trapped in in in
relationships through pregnancy?

Speaker 2 (49:32):
Like I feel for men sometimes I'd be like, why
the fuck? Why would you do that?

Speaker 6 (49:36):
But then again it's like, well why did you not?
In the bitch?

Speaker 4 (49:38):
Okay, but because it feels.

Speaker 5 (49:39):
A contributed we all participated, and maybe you need to
have a terms and agreements beforehand, so you know, what
the fuck?

Speaker 3 (49:45):
Even though I haven't abided by this law because you know, condoms,
you know, but like I condoms you know generally, Like
I think, like sometimes she starts having a good night,
like as you go to the club and you meet
a nigga, he's fine as hell, you fuck and raw,
and it's just like.

Speaker 5 (50:01):
You you just end up nutting at her, I think,
And then you just get emotionally attached to the baby
when you're not even emotionally attached to this person, And
that's confusing for a man.

Speaker 2 (50:11):
Don't and I don't, I don't say. And that's where I.

Speaker 5 (50:13):
Agree with the men where I'm like, what the fuck? Well,
you had a one night stand, bitch, Like, what where
did you get that? I wanted to be your baby daddy.

Speaker 2 (50:20):
Don't have unprotected sex with that we both agree to this?

Speaker 5 (50:23):
And women, yeah, women, I would be acting crazy.

Speaker 6 (50:28):
No, I think it's nuts. I don't.

Speaker 3 (50:29):
I don't really agree with having kids with someone who
doesn't want a kid, because I mean, because I'm not.
I don't want to force this on you unless you're like,
I'm totally okay with walking away and doing it solely.
If you don't, if you're not okay with doing it
solely by yourself, then why y'all?

Speaker 4 (50:45):
Okay, y'all, okay, nuts, yeah you guys, okay, Oh yeah,
I'm good.

Speaker 3 (50:51):
I don't want to force anything on anybody. But if
unless you're oh, no, I'm great.

Speaker 2 (50:55):
I got my child's porn. I'm great.

Speaker 4 (50:58):
I wish I had times before, but he got superheated.

Speaker 2 (51:01):
It's hot.

Speaker 5 (51:03):
I'm just I just feel like this topic is there's
a lot of layers to it, and and I think
maybe I felt triggered by your what you saying like that,
not because you've taken an autonomy over your decision, but
I think that like a lot of women, when they
push this narrative around, like I don't take chance to part,
and I'm like, well, it's really just because.

Speaker 4 (51:21):
I don't like drama, Like I just and honestly, I
don't want a man telling me how to do anything.
And once a man starts paying for shit, then he
wants to like his opinions, and I think you, I
don't want to. I don't give a fuck about a
nigga gotta say about shit. So it's easier for me
if I just beat it because I don't want you
calling me on some I think the baby should go
to this school. I don't give a fuck what you think.

(51:42):
Like I'm that person. So that's just me though, like
I'm super me though, Like so everybody else has their
own thing. I don't like men. When men start talking
to me, I'm I'm not gonna lie. When men start
talking to me, I get angry, like shot the fuck
up on everything. But that's just me, and so everyone

(52:04):
has their own journey. I just don't like men's opinions
on anything, especially the raising of the I don't want
their input on anything.

Speaker 2 (52:11):
And if you take the money, then you have to
do then there's.

Speaker 4 (52:13):
Input, and I don't want input, and that's.

Speaker 6 (52:21):
That's just me.

Speaker 4 (52:21):
I don't want input. I don't I don't need you,
I don't need your money. I don't need it. So
that there's that we're good, and I don't want the
input on anything. If I ask a question, then answer
my question. But I don't like the the unsolicited input
that sometimes happens. I just like to live my life
the way I want to live my life, and I
don't like men interjecting and how I'm living my life

(52:43):
or how I'm doing things. And that's just me personally,
and that's just me as a mother, as a woman.
I just I just want men to be quiet and
just do what I tell them to do. But I'm
also very domn that way, and so that's just my lifestyle.
That's not every one's lifestyle. I like to boss men around,

(53:03):
choke them out, like it's just a thing that I do.

Speaker 2 (53:08):
Cheers to living life on our.

Speaker 4 (53:09):
Own terms, a little bit left on your own.

Speaker 5 (53:12):
Terms, our own terms, right, Women living life on their
own terms, no matter where you fall in the domination spectrum.

Speaker 4 (53:18):
That's just me. But I understand I do understand why
women go through the process. Also, don't like stress. It is.
It's hard, like going to court is just hard.

Speaker 2 (53:27):
It is.

Speaker 5 (53:28):
It was, and I pray, I thank god it didn't
take too too long. And that's why I tell women
what they do go down that path, just be prepared.

Speaker 2 (53:35):
It's not cute.

Speaker 5 (53:36):
You feel really gross throughout it. And I almost gave
up a few times, and I'm glad I didn't. I'm
glad that I followed through and that I don't have
to ask for shit and then it's just done and
I don't have to think about it and we don't
have to talk about it. We literally don't talk about
money at all anymore. And that became a that became peace,
and that became my peace in my life. But it
didn't it didn't come without trials and a lot of

(54:00):
self doubt and uncomfortability, and.

Speaker 2 (54:02):
It was it was. It's not for everybody.

Speaker 4 (54:04):
Yeah, I agree. So I think that to your point,
if she goes forward, she has to understand there's a
great possibility she'll be a single parent going through this,
and she may have to go through the child support
process in the court, and that's difficult and it's hard,
but it's worth it. In the end hopefully and everyone,
but also too like she doesn't have to, she doesn't
want to, it's completely up to her and what she

(54:26):
wants to do.

Speaker 2 (54:27):
Yeah, do you re birth?

Speaker 6 (54:30):
And we make the rolest.

Speaker 4 (54:33):
Being a black woman, a black person, but just speaking
about women in just in general, it's really difficult. And
the concept, which is something I wasn't raised with, was
just like, you have to work twice as hard to
get the same thing. I didn't grow up with that
I work half as much like and I don't want to,
and I want the same things. I want to live soft,

(54:55):
I want to live easy. I want to work half
as much and get the same things. And for me,
that works. And then when anyone questions me, I just
tell them I'm tapping into my white privilege because.

Speaker 2 (55:12):
I am.

Speaker 4 (55:12):
I am, because I am.

Speaker 2 (55:14):
That's it.

Speaker 4 (55:15):
I'm going to do very little. I'm going to earn
just as much, and I'm not going to work myself
to the bone. I'm not going to miss out on
my family moments, I'm not going to miss out on
community moments. I'm not going to miss out on life
because I'm working myself to the bone to earn every
single thing that a mediocre white man has to work
two hours to build, and I'm working for seven days

(55:37):
for the same thing he does in two hours. I
just literally refuse to do it. I think that, and
it's really it's really interesting to me too. How like
in American society, they only show slavery as the history,
and that's not fair.

Speaker 3 (55:54):
It's intentional, though it is intentional. If you think your
history begins there, then you'll be blinded by what you
And the.

Speaker 4 (56:00):
Fact that they call people of color minorities when you're
actually the global majority is wild. Like you may be
the minority in your community, even if you were the
minority in America, globally, you're the majority because people of color.
It's all colors.

Speaker 2 (56:19):
So that's how big we know Africa is.

Speaker 4 (56:21):
On the map exactly. You're the global populations. So you
stop calling yourself a minority and you start calling yourself
a global majority. And it changed. It just shifts the beliefs.
I cannot believe. I still can't how many people are
pro You keep seeing the word programming, and I cannot
believe that people are still programmed, like you're chat GPT,

(56:46):
like you've taken information and then that's the only thing,
you know, and that's wild system.

Speaker 2 (56:54):
That's what you've adopted as true. No investigation.

Speaker 4 (56:57):
Well that's no investigation, yeah, exactly, Well you.

Speaker 3 (57:00):
Have to have the brain of an investigator. I do
believe it's interesting. Like sometimes people just come into the
world curious and clear and like, are.

Speaker 6 (57:09):
You sure this is what God is? Or like you
know kids.

Speaker 3 (57:12):
Generally and like, but then you become like hypnotized in
a trance. If you've never seen anything different, How could
you know it exists unless you have the imagination that
is curious and that is like once to create and
every And I do think, like you talked earlier about,
you know, the majority of people, unfortunately, the majority of

(57:33):
people are easily programmed.

Speaker 4 (57:35):
That's so weird to me.

Speaker 6 (57:37):
Me too, it's so.

Speaker 2 (57:38):
Weird to me.

Speaker 4 (57:39):
I still don't understand.

Speaker 5 (57:41):
Well, we've been like a great marketing test. I feel like,
specifically in America.

Speaker 6 (57:45):
Like this is like marketing. It's psychological.

Speaker 5 (57:47):
I mean, it's well, it's psychological warfare. It's marketing that
they've marketed towards us to believe, to tap into believe.

Speaker 2 (57:54):
It's advertising, but advertising.

Speaker 3 (57:56):
I just want you to know, you guys, it's like
the like hypnosis of this subconscious brain. They studied your
brain and subliminal messages so that you could easily be progressed.

Speaker 5 (58:07):
You knew how many times you needed to hear something
to believe it. Like they know the way you need
to hear it. They know the like the pronunciation of
the words that you need to say it in a
certain way. They know the cadence of the conversation that
you need to hear in order.

Speaker 2 (58:20):
To believe it.

Speaker 5 (58:20):
That's why even as a public speaker, there's are what
you get trained in order to understand how to speak
and tap into someone's psyche. When you're a salesperson, you
know what words, what words to say, how many times
to say it, how to pronounce it, like put nunciations
on certain words. Even when I was doing Home Shopping
Network and I got all this coaching, it was like
say this like really tappen, like not bring your voice

(58:43):
down down and then bring them in and it's like subtle.

Speaker 2 (58:48):
It's very subtle, and it's and it's a beautiful skill
to have. You have it.

Speaker 4 (58:51):
I do have, Yeah, you do use it often.

Speaker 2 (58:53):
You have it.

Speaker 4 (58:53):
And yes, I had media training during confessions and honestly,
as an orator, and just as study or just as
a studier of oration and as a reader, I understand words,
the power of words, and how to use words to
make people feel what I want them to feel.

Speaker 2 (59:13):
And hook them.

Speaker 4 (59:14):
So it's important to me for people to understand that
if you hate me I wanted you to hate me,
You're doing what I want you to do. You're not
going against the grain, you're not bothering me. I want
you to do that because I make money off that.
I am now relevant. And also the visceral reactions, so

(59:39):
visceral meaning whether you're one way or the other doesn't matter.
I need you to have a visceral reaction. In order
for me to tickle that visceral reaction inside of you,
I have to use certain words in a certain way
at a certain time, and that is the genius of
a wordsmith. So everyone is doing exactly what I want
them to do, how I want them to do it,
when I want them to do it, because I control

(01:00:00):
them and they don't control me. So then that goes
back to what we talked about earlier. And no matter
how people feel, I'm still in control. You think that
you're controlling me by your opinion but your opinion is
based on what I said, when I said it, how
I said it, where I said it when I said it.
Because everything I do is on purpose with purpose. So therefore,

(01:00:21):
when I did Pierce Morgan, I haven't said anything and
off social for almost a year. That was intentional. Then
I waited till the decision from the court to be
able to come out and now start talking. That's intentional.
So now your reactions. Everything that I'm saying is intentional.
When I was asked if me and Diddy had sex
and I said not, to my recollection, that's intentional. For

(01:00:44):
your reaction is what I want you to have. I
am manipulating everybody here because I understand number one psychology,
number two the English language, and I'm a fucking genius
and which you ever fucking forget it?

Speaker 2 (01:00:56):
Period? Amen, I'm hooked. Got me.

Speaker 3 (01:01:02):
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is how you hypnotize the odds,
And now I'm hypnotized.

Speaker 6 (01:01:07):
It's true.

Speaker 3 (01:01:07):
And I went to I was like in junior college
and I are like just my first freshman year, and
I did psychology and I started to learn the the
development of media and the development of marketing and advertising
and when the TV hit the market and radio hit
the market, that there was also a deep study of
the psychological brain and the subconscious. It's not like literally,
I in the car, I turned down commercials like if

(01:01:29):
then radios on. I never listened to programming. I'm so aware.
Even like when Luna was a baby, I started to
notice if we would like drive by Jumba Juice, she'd
be like juice and like how her brain was associating
the logos at such a young age. I was like, Oh,
this shit is for real, and like how like the
Mermaid of like even things that we don't even remember

(01:01:49):
in this lifetime, there are things and symbolisms and colors
and shapes that trigger, you know, knowledge of past lives
and like our subconscious on a deep, deep level.

Speaker 6 (01:01:59):
So don't fuck around. That shit is real and true.

Speaker 4 (01:02:02):
And I spent many years working as a senior copywriter
in corporate marketing, so I am well versed in obviously
marketing and anything copywriting, anything words is like my vibe.

Speaker 5 (01:02:13):
Yeah, there's an emotional Like there's an emotional aspect to
that as well, where you know how to like ooka
in that hook in that customer early and then keep
them there, keep them coming.

Speaker 2 (01:02:28):
The bob is bobbing.

Speaker 5 (01:02:29):
Okay, as someone said in the chat, the bob is
the main character.

Speaker 4 (01:02:37):
Is it bobbing?

Speaker 2 (01:02:38):
I think it's tarot time? Okay. I would love for
you to pick a card please, and thank you. You
to close your eyes, your hand over there.

Speaker 9 (01:02:48):
Okay, give it some energy.

Speaker 7 (01:03:11):
Ham.

Speaker 2 (01:03:22):
It's two days ago. We're still in it. Yeah, the Yeah,
we did Capricorn.

Speaker 6 (01:03:28):
The World, the World.

Speaker 2 (01:03:30):
See she pulled the world card, not.

Speaker 4 (01:03:35):
Me pulling the world.

Speaker 2 (01:03:36):
Let me see what does it look like? What do you?
What do you when you see it? What do you see?

Speaker 4 (01:03:40):
I see a beautiful brown woman with wavy hair as
I have, and she seems to be dancing, twirling with
a snake. So me, bitch, so me give me tattoos.
I do have tattoos?

Speaker 6 (01:03:55):
How many?

Speaker 4 (01:03:56):
I have one? Really not really big. I have a
tattoo that goes from hip bone to hip bone around
my back of naked nymphs in a garden, really wing winged,
naked naked.

Speaker 2 (01:04:09):
Yeah I'm not to see that later.

Speaker 4 (01:04:15):
So this is my card. So it's the world. There's
a lion, there's a steer, there's an eagle. There's a woman, yeah,
what the fuck. But honestly, me pulling the world is
so me, it's so me coated.

Speaker 2 (01:04:31):
You said you're the center of your world.

Speaker 4 (01:04:33):
I'm the center. I'm the center I am.

Speaker 5 (01:04:35):
I'm just giving very much center of the world energy
in the circle of this reef.

Speaker 3 (01:04:40):
I mean, you're like the beautiful glow up example of
staying in your.

Speaker 6 (01:04:44):
Own bubble, and like, how beneficial it could be. I
can't hear, I can't see ship.

Speaker 4 (01:04:48):
I don't know. I don't know what's going on.

Speaker 2 (01:04:50):
With you people.

Speaker 4 (01:04:51):
I don't know what's happening. I am. I'm somewhere in upstate.

Speaker 2 (01:04:55):
New York and the Catskills Hudson Valley, not with a
white man at.

Speaker 5 (01:05:01):
All, totally the white men at all, and and and
my gardens and my gardens.

Speaker 4 (01:05:08):
Yeah, I'm just living a different line. I have no
idea what's going on with a few people.

Speaker 6 (01:05:13):
You're like, no, don't happen, there's nothing going on.

Speaker 4 (01:05:15):
What's happening down here?

Speaker 2 (01:05:17):
Tell us what's happening with the world, Jamila.

Speaker 3 (01:05:18):
Do you know when the world card appears in a
tarot reading, you are glowing with a sense of wholeness, achievement, fulfillment,
and completion a long term project, period of study, relationship,
or career has come full circle, and you are now
reveling in the sense of closure and accomplishment. This card
could represent graduation, a marriage, the birth of a child,

(01:05:46):
or achieving a long held dream or aspiration. You have
finally accomplished your goal or purpose. Everything has come together
and you are in the right space, doing the right thing,
achieving what you have envisioned. You feel whole and complete now.
The World card invites you to reflect on your journey,
honor your achievements, and tune into your spiritual lessons. Celebrate

(01:06:07):
your success and bask in the joy of having brought
your goals to fruition. All the triumphs and tribulations along
your path have made you into the strong, wise, more
experienced person you are now. Express gratitude for what you've
created and harvested. Finally, make sure you don't rush into
the next big project. Celebrating your journey will set you

(01:06:29):
up for success when you're ready for your next challenge.
If you have not quite reached this point of completion,
then you are very close. You may still need to
add a level of understanding to graduate to a higher
level and enjoy real success, look back at past experiences,
acknowledge how far you've come and what you've learned along
the way. How beautiful for your twentieth year anniversary of this,

(01:06:50):
of this like epic book, your first like like your
first published book, and now you're here, and it's like
it's still relevant, it's still important.

Speaker 6 (01:07:00):
Everything you said was to be true, and like.

Speaker 4 (01:07:02):
Everything I said, like I warned you guys, Like when
I go through confessions and I I'm reading bits and
pieces of it, I'm like, how did you guys not
see what I was saying? Like, bro, I told you
what was happening. I told you there's some shit going
on that's not cool. But you're so you're so in
this country, so you demonize sex so much that you
were so stuck on the sexual part. You're not looking

(01:07:24):
at what was happening around the sex, you know what
I mean? And and sex is so natural to me
and such a regular part of life that I didn't
understand the demonization of the female autonomy. I didn't realize
that the United States hates female autonomy. I didn't understand
hates it. And then when you go back to look

(01:07:46):
at like the feminine product, the feminine product ads of
like the nineteen fifties, forties, forties, fifties, sixties, How they
demonize women's bodies, How they told us to douche with lysol.
What the lifesaw douche ads are wild, bro, How they
said that our bodies were disgusting, How our husbands were

(01:08:08):
leaving us because we stunk. Have you seen these in
this Have you not maybe revisit that life saw feminine product.
You literally had the douche with light saw for your
husband to stay with you. There was a there was
a you guys drank at the same time that was
that was crazy. There were Folgers coffee ads in the

(01:08:32):
early nineteen eighties maybe late seventies that were all geared
to the woman who just did everything wrong and the
one right thing she did was make Folgers coffee. It
was like ads for so many decades were about how
awful women were.

Speaker 5 (01:08:50):
Programming not even it's the programming. Yeah it's subliminal, but
not even like pretty much we hate you.

Speaker 4 (01:08:57):
So now, even though we were not alive at this time,
you have to think about who was alive at this time,
and then those are the people who raised you. So
the grandmothers who raised your mothers, the mothers who raised you,
and so the programming carries on. And then you have
to think about also the programming of the nineteen eighties
when AIDS hit really big and how sex became bad

(01:09:20):
and like you had to have sex with your married
partner or whatever it was, or you know, you couldn't
have casual sex because casual sex was killing people. And
so we still got this programming decades later, even though
we now understand how to protect ourselves and that you know,
we can have casual sex without dying, like it doesn't

(01:09:42):
have to be so dire to where a single woman
is going to die if she's having sex with people
that she's not married to. But that programming, those are
the people who raised you. And so you know, you're
you're getting this kind of hand me down programming and
you're wondering. Some like me comes along and you're like,

(01:10:02):
what is this shit? Like what do you mean sexual autonomy?
And you can have sex with whoever you want to,
whenever you want to, however you want, wherever you want to,
and it really upset people and fuck them, I don't care.
But listen, no matter what relationship, non relationship. I still
hold on to my sexual autonomy. I can do whatever

(01:10:24):
I want, whenever I want, with whomever I want, how
I want, and no society will take that from me.
Sometimes it just so happens that the sex that I
want is with one person, and that's what I want,
and the option here, and the thing about feminism is

(01:10:44):
about options and that I don't have to do what
you tell me, or you tell me, or you tell me.
I do what I tell me to do. And sometimes
what I want to do is to be with just
one really awesome, amazing person and only have sex with
that one person for years and years and years and years.

(01:11:05):
And that's my choice as a feminist.

Speaker 2 (01:11:08):
Mm hmm. That's the direction you're going in.

Speaker 4 (01:11:10):
You want to just sometimes I want I don't know's
I'm heavy on this.

Speaker 5 (01:11:15):
Sometimes sometimes I'm old battle gang bank.

Speaker 4 (01:11:18):
I don't know, to me not to me? Whatever I want.

Speaker 6 (01:11:21):
A nice little gang bank can go a long way.

Speaker 4 (01:11:25):
Are you gonna tell us about your.

Speaker 6 (01:11:28):
Am I guess I can share my HOORI now.

Speaker 4 (01:11:35):
Who stories?

Speaker 2 (01:11:40):
This is the horror story?

Speaker 4 (01:11:41):
You know?

Speaker 6 (01:11:41):
Every time every time Elizabeth comes, I feel motivated as
you bring you back from the garden.

Speaker 2 (01:11:45):
And even though she's.

Speaker 3 (01:11:46):
Literally has a pearl on her neck right now, she
has a pearl and alais one single pearl on her
neck with her low cut v neck exposed, just a
little classic cleavage, little little pearl.

Speaker 4 (01:11:58):
What's the matter with the pearl? I'm clutching my.

Speaker 2 (01:12:02):
One.

Speaker 4 (01:12:02):
This is clutching my pearl, Like these holes are crazy, crazy.
But tell me about your m M.

Speaker 6 (01:12:10):
Last time you were here, I shared a story three years.

Speaker 3 (01:12:13):
Ago where I went to my fuck buddy's house and
he had a trans woman there and like we like
tried to have a threesome. And that was the story
I told you last time because the day we interviewed,
I almost slept in because I just come home from
that and Orlando was calling me from New York like, bitch,
wake up, and I was telling him that I was.

Speaker 2 (01:12:32):
I told my boyfriend about it.

Speaker 3 (01:12:33):
But now my boyfriend's my fiance and he's here, and
now my horry includes him.

Speaker 6 (01:12:37):
Aren't you happy you moved here?

Speaker 2 (01:12:38):
Babe?

Speaker 6 (01:12:39):
They don't have to hear about my.

Speaker 2 (01:12:42):
I'm lying.

Speaker 4 (01:12:44):
He's happy like a pig and ship like he's so
fucking happy, Like what would you gonna be doing?

Speaker 2 (01:12:49):
A desk and ship.

Speaker 4 (01:12:50):
You were gonna be in the Bronx somewhere, like what
was you gonna be doing nothing? He would be doing nothing,
not you went best? I doing nothing? Like what do
you mean, Mila saved your life?

Speaker 6 (01:13:00):
I did.

Speaker 3 (01:13:00):
In the words of Ken the Man, I'm your first
bab bitch. I love Ken the Man, by the way,
I love number one song right now is First the First.
I'm that nigga first bab bach Sorry.

Speaker 4 (01:13:18):
Let me drink my butt like not me thinking I'm like,
I'm mine. He never really had a bad bitch before me.

Speaker 2 (01:13:24):
Thinking about it like you're a white man's first bad bitch.

Speaker 4 (01:13:27):
Yeah, you swear it's a white man like.

Speaker 5 (01:13:32):
Latino, what is he?

Speaker 4 (01:13:38):
But I think I'm his first bad bitch? Like what
you mean?

Speaker 3 (01:13:41):
Listen to First by King the Man Relea here, I
Love the Man. You don't really feel that one. I'm
a I'm a meth Sorry. So you know, a couple
of weeks ago, it was my birthday and I was
going to have like a little birthday party at the house,
and then we extended our trip in Costa Rica. So
we got back the day of the birthday party, and
I was like, this is not realistic and my homegirl
had and she was like, you know that guy that

(01:14:03):
we facetimed on so and So's birthday, Like, do you
mind if I talked to him? And this is one
of my like my back in the day niggas that
you know, I've know him for a long time that
I used to fuck on. And I was like, no,
he's a really nice guy and he has a big dick,
you know. And I was like, actually, I was going
to have a party on Saturday, but instead of having
a full blown party, let's just have a full person
party because I'm trying to read make this other foursome

(01:14:28):
that I had last year. But now it's my birthday,
so I have a reason to push for it. Orlando
was like like, oh, it is your birthday, okay. So
I was like, yeah, it's my birthday. So I got
hurt or agree. I got him to agree, and so
the plan was that we're going to have I called
it a kinky kickback, like that kinky kickback at my house.
And but then I started to get cold feet. I

(01:14:48):
started to get worried. I was like, you know, I'm
like I used to be a lesbian, but I'm not
so lesbian, Like now I'm like, I don't want to like.

Speaker 6 (01:14:55):
Necessarily have to eat pussy.

Speaker 3 (01:14:57):
And I started getting in my head, it's my friend,
and then I was like, shut the fuck up.

Speaker 6 (01:15:01):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (01:15:02):
So anyway, as a night started to progress, cleaned up,
and then I realized, like she kept bullshitting. She was like,
I'm gonna go I'm gonna go to the bar. I'm
still at the bar, and I was like, okay. The
guy pulled up and we like walked to the store,
and you know, I live right by a sex shop
because the and so we made a detour in the
sex shop.

Speaker 6 (01:15:20):
We're like laughing, like, oh, what's that?

Speaker 2 (01:15:22):
You know?

Speaker 6 (01:15:23):
Four play sex shop?

Speaker 3 (01:15:24):
But then I was like, can't believe this bitch is
gonna leave me? Like how am I supposed to like
seduce two men? Like this is gonna be like awkward.
I was just like I was skidding in my head,
you know. But then when.

Speaker 2 (01:15:35):
Exactly I don't even know what I was worried about.

Speaker 3 (01:15:37):
Then we got there and we're like chilling and eating
and drinking, smoking a blunt and it was really nice.
They they surprised me with a cake. They had a
cake and a candle and they sing me not happy.
I don't I don't accept happy birthdays anymore. We just
sang the Jamaican happy Birthday song. It's an anniversary, not
a birthday because I'm twenty four. Jamaican happy birthday song,

(01:15:58):
Happy birthday friend one mo yeah, put on them, Oh
give thanks for life.

Speaker 4 (01:16:05):
Oh I'm from Saint Thomas. Honey, we don't do it.

Speaker 2 (01:16:07):
I'm gonna have this thing.

Speaker 4 (01:16:08):
That song, Yeah, I need, I need that in my life.

Speaker 3 (01:16:10):
You don't need the birthday song so fucking ritual that
ages you.

Speaker 6 (01:16:14):
So they sang.

Speaker 3 (01:16:15):
Orlando did my favorite karaoke song, mister Boombastic Super Important,
and I got really excited over the birthday. I was
just like, wow, this is so specially you guys like
coordinated behind my back because I I made a group
chat and they mussa have like went on the side.
And then we just came back from an epic Costa
Rican couple's retreat. We just landed that day and I

(01:16:38):
had three blue you like glow in the dark lights
and one package glow in the dark paint. So Orlando's like,
let's do the glow with the glow in the dark.
I was like, okay, Okay, that's the glow in the dark.
I put a mattress in the middle of the living
room in front of this huge mirror. We turn off
all the lights. We turned on the blue lights, and
then like they started painting me. And I was like, oh,
I'm so cool. I got two niggas painting me. I'm naked,

(01:17:01):
I was smoking of lent. They're like putting powerful words
on me, like power, pissy, insert here, you know here.

Speaker 6 (01:17:09):
Oh, and so we did that and then we did
like a little like tantric practice.

Speaker 3 (01:17:16):
I put both their hands, was like, let's just take
a moment, you know, before we like whatever we're about
to get into. And then the guy or I like
went to the bathroom and he was like I was like,
can't with this.

Speaker 6 (01:17:25):
Bitch show up. He's like, we're still going.

Speaker 4 (01:17:26):
To do it. I was like, hell, yeah, we're going
to do it.

Speaker 6 (01:17:30):
One bitch, don't stop, no show right right. I'm like, yeah,
we're doing it.

Speaker 3 (01:17:34):
So then Lana came back and we like did a
little tantic exercise and I was just like, put both
their hands on my heart, on top of each other,
and I was like, this is about pleasure, this is
about freedom, This is about trust, about friendship, about love.

Speaker 2 (01:17:45):
About me more importantly, I'm the center of the world today.

Speaker 6 (01:17:51):
And then we're like yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:17:53):
I was like, okay, everybody's breathe released the sound and
they did and it was really cute.

Speaker 2 (01:17:59):
You know.

Speaker 3 (01:17:59):
He was just like, wow, I've never just like painted,
Like I just not like what should I pay? I'm
like whatever you want, and he was just like just really.

Speaker 4 (01:18:06):
Like, this is a lot of words for a threesome.
It's crazy crazy.

Speaker 6 (01:18:11):
What's the last three cent you had?

Speaker 4 (01:18:13):
First of all, your mother store, don't worry about me,
don't mean so, don't rush. It's a lot though it's
been some decades. But also it's a lot.

Speaker 6 (01:18:23):
Bro.

Speaker 4 (01:18:23):
Is this like a millennial three gen Z three? Because
back in my day we just tutor ass and get
to the business reason and ship and it's paint. They're
all kind of glowing the dark.

Speaker 2 (01:18:39):
What is this?

Speaker 6 (01:18:40):
It's called an activation?

Speaker 5 (01:18:41):
Oh my god, I called a birdie man in my
living rooms?

Speaker 4 (01:18:46):
Is an activation?

Speaker 6 (01:18:47):
We had an activation before?

Speaker 5 (01:18:48):
You mean, we need paint to active coach at the house.

Speaker 4 (01:18:57):
Okay, we're almost there, when do tell me? Tell me
who put it in first?

Speaker 6 (01:19:02):
Like, I'm just trying to get and then after that
we got in the shower.

Speaker 4 (01:19:07):
Oh my god, oh my gosh, hush, let me tell
my story.

Speaker 6 (01:19:15):
This is my story, so crazy. Three some is this.

Speaker 4 (01:19:23):
This is the new threesomes TikTok three.

Speaker 6 (01:19:28):
This is how I start my TikTok.

Speaker 3 (01:19:29):
I can tell my story three crazy, the others three cent.

Speaker 6 (01:19:34):
There's a lot of pivotal words in this. That's a
lot of.

Speaker 2 (01:19:40):
Thousand and five crazy.

Speaker 4 (01:19:42):
Shut the fuck up.

Speaker 6 (01:19:44):
So then hours then the paint off.

Speaker 3 (01:19:48):
Oh my god, the paint off of us, you bitch,
you bitch.

Speaker 4 (01:19:53):
There we get to Orlando. You would here for this bullshir.

Speaker 6 (01:19:58):
We got in the shower and I was like, I
put him in the shower.

Speaker 3 (01:20:01):
I gave him a towel and like a wash clob,
and I came back to the living room then report
him with my man because I wasn't sure what he
wanted me to do. He was like, I'm gonna get
in the other shower, and I was.

Speaker 4 (01:20:09):
Like, oh my god, another shower, this too, shower, bed
bit rich, just two showers, bitch.

Speaker 6 (01:20:20):
We got in the shower.

Speaker 2 (01:20:23):
For my story.

Speaker 3 (01:20:24):
Girlies, who care about a fucking anticipation? She's trying to
get grasped and hook them. Shut up, God, let the
bitch live.

Speaker 6 (01:20:33):
So me.

Speaker 3 (01:20:36):
We're in the shower, and then I thought, you know,
we were washing each other off, and then he text
my plissy and I was like, oh no, did Orlando
even give me permission to the Then I hopped out anyway,
and then we said, let's go in the living room
again with the blue light and put baby on. Let's
put coconut oil all over ourselves so we could be
like Heisha from Belly. So we did, and then Orlando said,
all right, the shiny one. So then shiny she no

(01:21:00):
specifically that scene with her it's blue. So we did that,
and then Orlando said took him to put a blindfold
on the bed, two blindfolds, and told me come in
there in twenty seconds, poor a drink and come in there.
And then when I came in there, they were both
on the bed naked with blindfolds on. And then I
just did whatever I wanted and I sat on Orlando's dick,
I said, on both of their faces.

Speaker 6 (01:21:21):
And then to take his off.

Speaker 3 (01:21:22):
The guy had his on, and I was like, should
I take us off? He was like no, so you're
just like so then so then we did the Eiffel Tower,
which was really important.

Speaker 6 (01:21:30):
To me because this white, ash old tower.

Speaker 4 (01:21:32):
I'll show you, oh you'll show me.

Speaker 3 (01:21:34):
Like one guys this way right, Okay, one the mouth, Okay,
dick in the pissy right.

Speaker 2 (01:21:39):
They go like this, No, one guy's here. One guys there.

Speaker 4 (01:21:43):
They're touching hands so they can connect, like it's a
bonding experience.

Speaker 2 (01:21:48):
How they're like slapping each their's hands like this.

Speaker 6 (01:21:50):
And I was like, let's look in the mirror because
I can't take a picture.

Speaker 4 (01:21:52):
So the way I would weak their asses. It was
my idea.

Speaker 6 (01:21:55):
First I was like, okay, touch hands, and then I
was like, look what we're doing it.

Speaker 4 (01:22:01):
So it's like a oh my god, I'm so old.

Speaker 6 (01:22:03):
It's called the Eiffel Tower.

Speaker 3 (01:22:04):
Okay, this young bitch told me five years ago, and
I was determined to did my my Eiffel Tower on
and they participated and then we just got it pop
in and I had it was just really you know,
we switched, you know, and it lasted a long time.
The poor guy fell asleep. Mear Lando kept sucking and
you know, he left around eleven am. And it was
just really beautiful and everything was about me. It got

(01:22:26):
like my pussy ate my ass ate at the same time,
and just a lot of things that you know, every
girl shook it once a year in their birthday.

Speaker 4 (01:22:35):
I like that. The Eiffel Tower, So.

Speaker 6 (01:22:38):
If you guys haven't tried the Eiffel Tower.

Speaker 4 (01:22:40):
Two men touching hands while I'm getting like roasted is not.
It was like very like that's a wonder Twins ship.

Speaker 5 (01:22:47):
Like it's activation of energy.

Speaker 6 (01:22:50):
It was a tan trick.

Speaker 3 (01:22:51):
Threesome activation was like divine, masculine.

Speaker 2 (01:22:55):
And everyone's touching at the same time.

Speaker 5 (01:22:57):
The guys are touching sort of like just not just
enough to not be gay, so they just like them.

Speaker 6 (01:23:03):
Their hands and we know you don't.

Speaker 4 (01:23:05):
Want them to be inside each other.

Speaker 6 (01:23:07):
I know that didn't happen. I just want them to
be inside.

Speaker 2 (01:23:09):
Do you watch do you watch a gay porn?

Speaker 4 (01:23:10):
I love threesome porn where both guys.

Speaker 6 (01:23:15):
I love by MMF two that's my favorite. By m
MF oh bye me.

Speaker 4 (01:23:19):
But then everybody's there's no hands off. I mean, obviously
by my dating history. I love a bye guy.

Speaker 2 (01:23:25):
I saw I was.

Speaker 5 (01:23:26):
I watched porn last night a little bit just to
get me going, and it's a little bit just a
little bit, because I usually because I usually get annoyed
and I end up turning it off. Then I just
used my imagination. But I saw a video. There's a
bunch of selections, and there was one where this girl
was like in disguised dick and then the guy.

Speaker 2 (01:23:42):
Was holding another guy's dick.

Speaker 3 (01:23:44):
Speaking of that, what I love? That got some news
from my gay friends last night. I saw one of
our porn friends in an orgy and he's graduated, and
he was fucking a bitch and jacking a dick off
a dick like a man's dick porn?

Speaker 4 (01:23:58):
Was he was? Was he not doing that before? He
was touching mema?

Speaker 2 (01:24:01):
Graduated?

Speaker 4 (01:24:02):
Graduated?

Speaker 2 (01:24:04):
Yeah, I graduated anyway, Sorry, did dressed up?

Speaker 5 (01:24:06):
He dressed up like a we'll talk about later, Okay. Anyway,
I saw that visual and I said, no, thank you.
I don't want any parts of that. I don't have
any interest in seeing any guys tracking off any other
guys or putting dicks on anybody who holds no no that.
I want all the attention to be on me, and
you guys just couldnspire for my pleasure.

Speaker 2 (01:24:25):
You guys don't need to be pleasing each other. It's
just not. It's just not.

Speaker 4 (01:24:28):
One of my favorite things about one of my exes
was how many fingers he would take?

Speaker 6 (01:24:32):
How many it was like three or four?

Speaker 2 (01:24:35):
Which ex.

Speaker 4 (01:24:38):
You know?

Speaker 2 (01:24:39):
It was like this. It was like one of these
how small or bigger hand is?

Speaker 4 (01:24:44):
I could be a regular one of my recent excesses
that you asked me about.

Speaker 3 (01:24:50):
Interesting before that's seems like you might have done that before.

Speaker 2 (01:24:56):
Did you train it at?

Speaker 4 (01:24:57):
I didn't have to. It was it was already done
for me.

Speaker 2 (01:25:00):
Put do you put lou all over your hands and
then you do that?

Speaker 4 (01:25:02):
I didn't have to. He was just open and ready.
He he's by he was he had boyfriends.

Speaker 6 (01:25:06):
He was already lubed.

Speaker 4 (01:25:08):
Yeah, he yeah, he's he's super clean. This other thing too,
like he's super close. When I knew was that in
the oral copulation part, like in the in the ring
around a rosie part of the sexual intercourse. He was
super clean all the time. So I knew that he douched.
I knew that he cleaned his inside. And then I

(01:25:29):
heard from someone in his community how open he was
to man on man whatever.

Speaker 6 (01:25:38):
Oh he didn't hear that from him?

Speaker 4 (01:25:39):
No, he didn't tell me at first, okay, and then
I asked him if we could have like a threesome
or like a four sum and he said yes, but
he wanted a man, and I was like absolutely yes.
It was like, yeah, he wanted to have like another
woman and another man.

Speaker 6 (01:25:58):
Yeah, like a swinger of situation, but everybody is playing.

Speaker 4 (01:26:01):
But yeah, So what I knew automatically from I didn't
know at first when we first started seeing each other
that he was that way, but other people knew. I
don't listen. I don't know stuff like I'm not on
the internet enough to know. I'm not in people's business enough, right,
I don't do the gossip things. I don't know. I

(01:26:21):
just thought he painted his nails because he was avant garde.
I didn't know he paid his nails because he likes boys.
I didn't know. But when I found out, I didn't
deter me because that just means that I could do
more stuff, so that when we were in intimate situations,
I was able to do more stuff. I was able
to do butt stuff, which makes me really happy.

Speaker 3 (01:26:44):
Her pink butting that she likes to bring me love,
but you prefer by guys, so you could do butt stuff.

Speaker 4 (01:26:49):
I do prefer by guys who I can do butt stuff.
But I've also turned, not turned. But also there are
some guys who have been by curious, who have been
able to release their curiosity and like let me get
into their butt.

Speaker 6 (01:27:02):
Because is that releasing your by curiosity?

Speaker 3 (01:27:05):
If you like a woman to get into your butt,
are you releasing your by curiosity?

Speaker 4 (01:27:08):
I think so. I think I think I am the
gateway drug to the real penis pinky, then grab because
if you're curious about stuff in your butt, once a
man grabs his ankles during once a man grabs his
ankles and like spreads his cheeks for me, I know
that he's now open to all kinds of butt play,

(01:27:31):
which is great. And then if he wants to be
by curious with other men, I hope that I have
given him the confidence to be able to do that,
to explore his sexuality fully.

Speaker 3 (01:27:40):
Well, the thing about any dildo is that it's never
going to be as good as a real dick. So
if you like a dildo, because let me ask you,
I try to get this. I try to be lesbian
for a long time, and I like real dick, So
it just wasn't gonna work for me.

Speaker 6 (01:27:54):
I was going to take a plastic dick.

Speaker 3 (01:27:55):
But if you try a plastid dick and you're like that,
you're gonna love a real dick.

Speaker 6 (01:27:59):
Yeah, take it for me.

Speaker 4 (01:28:00):
So there a been men that have started off regular,
like closed minded, you know, like okay, and then over
the years as we dated, I noticed the legs coming
up up to the point where they're just holding their
ankles at some point and just let and just give
me carte blanche of of ass apple. And I love it.

(01:28:21):
And I love that for them because I know that
they're not free. I know that you're free.

Speaker 6 (01:28:26):
I've freed you. Once the ankles meet the hands in
the air, I freed you.

Speaker 4 (01:28:31):
And now you can go and explore whatever that means
for you, you know what I mean.

Speaker 6 (01:28:36):
I do feel that men, men that often like.

Speaker 3 (01:28:41):
Uh like, are hypocritical towards very sexual women. For the
same amount of men that are hypocritical, they're also very
curious and feel comfortable with sexual women because they're like, hey, can.

Speaker 4 (01:28:54):
I tell you that?

Speaker 6 (01:28:55):
Can you do this? Because you're like, oh, she's open.

Speaker 3 (01:28:57):
She makes me feel comfortable if she will tell about
her set life, if she's bold enough to talk about
her sex life. Then I can tell my little secrets
and then maybe she'll put her tongue in my ass
and then maybe I like it, and then maybe like
a little finger yeah.

Speaker 6 (01:29:07):
And then they're like, why did you do this? You
turn me out? I'm like, no, nigga, you asked for that, yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:29:11):
And that's what I get too, is like sometimes people
will ask, like, why why are so many men still
attracted to me after everything I've said and explained and
wrote about.

Speaker 2 (01:29:19):
Because they want you to dom them.

Speaker 6 (01:29:21):
They want to be free.

Speaker 4 (01:29:22):
They love a dom mommy.

Speaker 2 (01:29:23):
They want you to dominate.

Speaker 4 (01:29:25):
But also they know that they're safe. They know that
their proclivities are safe with me. They know that I've
seen enough, done enough, I've been enough places two where
there safe and they're not going to get judged for
their curiosities with me. And I think that's really really important,
and that's important for me too, so that whatever my
curiosities are sexually, especially that I know that I'm safe

(01:29:48):
and I'm in a safe space. And so there's no
shortage of men. There no shortage of like wealthy, powerful,
successful men especially who feel as if they can explore
their sexuality with just any old body because that any
old person will tell. And so it's like, if you
want to dress up like a baby and wear a diaper,

(01:30:11):
you know.

Speaker 2 (01:30:11):
And feast on Jamala's nipples.

Speaker 4 (01:30:14):
Yeah, then then listen. I call Jamila right now, like
we'll have something for that.

Speaker 6 (01:30:20):
Yeah, exactly, Like, hey, gir out, but what time?

Speaker 4 (01:30:23):
Okay, Okay, you're not gonna get judged. I'm not.

Speaker 2 (01:30:27):
I'm not.

Speaker 3 (01:30:28):
There's there's a level of non judgment that comes from
fucking with free women that men seek. And I find
that with religious men, nerdy men, men that act like
they don't want then about that life, but secretly they
want to be about that life.

Speaker 6 (01:30:39):
And that that's real.

Speaker 3 (01:30:40):
There, you could be hypocritical and you could think that
everybody thinks you must let but that same nigg would
be in my d MS or in my phone saying, hey,
I heard you talk about ebony galore MMS five.

Speaker 4 (01:30:52):
Yeah it's true. And then also too, there's the there's
this thing that happens where men. Okay, so patriarchy hurts everybody.
So patriarchal norms and conformities say that you have to
marry a quote unquote good girl, and that that girl
that a good girl. Has to have not had sex
at all or have had sex with very few people.

(01:31:15):
And so now you marry, you date, you marry the
good girl, and the good girl doesn't know how, she
doesn't take it in the ass. That's a quote unquote
bad girl thing, or it's a whatever thing, whatever your
proclivities are. So then what happens is that then that
man then cheats on his good girl with a quote
unquote bad girl. And then you now you're getting divorced.

(01:31:37):
Now you're losing everything.

Speaker 6 (01:31:38):
Now to that set quote unquote sled exactly right.

Speaker 4 (01:31:42):
But now you're losing everything because you married the good girl.
The church, the church mom, the church.

Speaker 7 (01:31:48):
Her wry.

Speaker 4 (01:31:49):
But but but patriarchy says that you need to be
with this person, and that becomes a problem. And so
this is how patriarchy hurts everybody be because now you're
dating and marrying based on what those standards are. And
then you but you don't really want that person. You
want someone who's going to make your toes curl, Who

(01:32:11):
is going to make you climb up the wall, who's
gonna make you climb it, Who's gonna suck you so wet,
so hard, so long, Who's gonna use both her hands
and all of her throat. Who's going to take you in,
Who's gonna make you just come down her throat? And
like you want this?

Speaker 6 (01:32:30):
Call me a little dirty bitch, yes, like.

Speaker 4 (01:32:33):
A come dump type of bitch, Like you want this, bitch.
But patriarchy says you can't marry that.

Speaker 6 (01:32:38):
They want Men love slugs.

Speaker 4 (01:32:40):
Men. First of all, men love sluts.

Speaker 2 (01:32:42):
Men.

Speaker 4 (01:32:42):
I wrote a book called men Love Sluts that I
haven't published yet. Men love sluts. But then you marry
the church marm because that's what that's what patriarchy says
you need to marry.

Speaker 6 (01:32:51):
And then you suck the slug behind her back, right,
you lose trust.

Speaker 4 (01:32:57):
Anyway, and then you lose everything. You're in divorce court.
You're losing half of your money, you're losing your kids,
you're losing your house, You're losing everything because you didn't
marry the whore. I've been married three times, there's this
is four. I am not in any shortage of husbands
or wanna be husbands or fiances like men are clamoring

(01:33:17):
to fucking marry me, becauset the end of the day,
what you're gonna get is your food's gonna be coked.
Your house it's gonna be clean, Your dick's gonna be sucked,
You're gonna get fucked, And whatever your proclivities are, whatever
your weird shit is, it's not fucking weird to me.
I'm down for whatever. You're completely fucking safe, And if
you take care of me the way I need you to,
you don't have to worry about anything else, like your
your household, your everything is fucking safe. I want more

(01:33:41):
men to feel safe marrying the whoors because they're gonna
keep you good. You're gonna wake up to dick.

Speaker 6 (01:33:53):
Sucks, but not just marrying them, respecting the respecting.

Speaker 4 (01:33:56):
Them them, yes, respecting, loving.

Speaker 6 (01:33:59):
And making them feel a safe as they make you feel.

Speaker 4 (01:34:01):
Absolutely, because not only you're gonna get your dig sucked
and your your fucking breakfast, and you're gonna get all
the things that you want, don't.

Speaker 2 (01:34:08):
Because the non horrors are trembling in their fucking.

Speaker 8 (01:34:12):
Imagine you spent all these years, the ones that nors
that have worked so hard to not be a whore anymore,
are stressed right now, be a horror because at the end.

Speaker 4 (01:34:22):
Of the day, the man who gets you his balls
are gonna be so fucking empty, like my man is
never gonna have to wish he was gonna get some
freak ship, like you're gonna get freak shit in the
morning you wake up, I'm already on freak ship. You
wake up like six am, I'm over your face. I'm

(01:34:42):
already dripping on your face. Your mustache is full of nut,
Like I'm already on you at six a m. You're
asleep and I'm fucking you already, like I'm on you, bitch,
like I love you so much, but I'm there's nothing
you can't propose to me that I won't at least consider.
There's nothing that's not gonna get done, so I can
Martha Steward this shit. I'm gonna be in the garden.

(01:35:05):
I love the garden. I love to cook, I love
to clean. I love laundry. Like I I like doing
household chores. It centers me just emotionally and just in
my anxiety. I feel grounded by my household chores. But
for fuck's sake, first thing in the morning, my man
gets this pussy and he gets it in any way
he wants, and he do whatever he wants to my body,

(01:35:25):
Like that's my man. And like you want that bitch.
You want a tea bag a bitch first thing in
the morning. You wanta crawl on my face and tea
exactly in my sleep. I wake up and I'm you
want that. I don't know what, but patriarchy again hurts
everybody because patriarchy says, marry the virgin.

Speaker 6 (01:35:47):
Marry you can't marry who you actually want to marry
and who really makes your balls tingle. You want to
marry the bitch next door even though she just make
your balls tank.

Speaker 4 (01:35:52):
You're gonna ruin her life, Bronna when he finds out
you want to do the I am my map.

Speaker 3 (01:35:58):
She's gonna fucking pass out when you find but she
finds a porn category that you really like.

Speaker 6 (01:36:02):
You're with the fucking anime and the weird shit, the monster.
She's gonna be the monster.

Speaker 4 (01:36:09):
With the roaches and the critters, like the weird ship,
the family.

Speaker 3 (01:36:13):
The pus is kind of just start, just start at
holl Just start, just start at.

Speaker 6 (01:36:18):
Hell, not go start at holl.

Speaker 4 (01:36:20):
Were you like knowing that my man can finish his job,
he can come home and it's a naked bitch me
in the kitchen. Dinner's ready, Pussy's ready. Like whatever you
want to do, bitch, do it like we're you're good
and you're safe and you don't have to you know,
you're not gonna be shamed for what you want. You're

(01:36:42):
not gonna be ridiculed, You're not gonna be made to
feel less than You're gonna be a whole ass man
in this house. And it's really nothing that you can
say to me that I'm gonna laugh at.

Speaker 2 (01:36:52):
Or push to the side, or you're in an argument.

Speaker 6 (01:36:56):
No, like you was taking Piggy last night.

Speaker 4 (01:36:58):
Bitch, No, you're good. And me and Pinky we're good.

Speaker 6 (01:37:02):
We're gonna hold space.

Speaker 4 (01:37:03):
We're gonna hold space, me and Pinky. You're holding space
for you. Me and my deal do a holding space
for you, Like you're a good word, you know, And
I think that that's important.

Speaker 3 (01:37:10):
It is which brings me to him telling me like
he was telling me like fuck my wife, suck that dick,
and it's like really pumping me up, like to be
a slundy little wife.

Speaker 6 (01:37:19):
And I really I really enjoyed that.

Speaker 4 (01:37:21):
Yeah, see you love love.

Speaker 2 (01:37:24):
Amen.

Speaker 6 (01:37:24):
Amen, sle you'll get married. You'll find the ring.

Speaker 2 (01:37:28):
Cory, thank you for sharing our who I don't have
any to share. I think we're out of town.

Speaker 6 (01:37:34):
Are I just want to I just want to say
the chat was it? Really? They liked my details? Okay?

Speaker 2 (01:37:41):
Everyone that was Everyone that's listening enjoyed the story.

Speaker 3 (01:37:44):
Well, thank you guys for listening and giving me a
safe space to talk about it. And just for you
coming back on. You know how much I love you
and how proud I am of you. And every time
I see you on the internet one year to the next,
maybe when you're missing, I'm always happy to see you.
I'm always happy to see you here. You always welcome here.
And yeah, I'm so grateful our journey's crossed. This is
so important to my sixteen year old aspiring author self.

Speaker 6 (01:38:08):
This is like I made it.

Speaker 5 (01:38:09):
Yeah, same, And I know I don't have to tell
you to keep going, but just keep going.

Speaker 4 (01:38:14):
I will do my best. It's hard. It's hard to
keep going.

Speaker 2 (01:38:17):
And when you build your mansion and the catskills invite us,
we'll be right there.

Speaker 4 (01:38:20):
Yeah, actually building my house right now.

Speaker 5 (01:38:22):
Perfect, We'll come through. I'll do a sound bath. You
got to come to our house and we'll yeah.

Speaker 6 (01:38:27):
Yeah, you're the only person will drink white wine with
at ten am.

Speaker 4 (01:38:30):
You know, that's what we do. I appreciate you.

Speaker 3 (01:38:33):
Thank you guys for joining us. You know here on
Good Mom's Bad Choices. Make sure you subscribe. Make sure
you subscribe to Patreon patreon dot com, backslash.

Speaker 2 (01:38:41):
Good Mom's Bad Choices.

Speaker 3 (01:38:43):
Make sure you check out our upcoming retreats at the
Good Vibe re Treat Good Mom's Bad Choices Backslash Retreats,
And you can find us on Instagram and on the
tiktoks and all of this.

Speaker 6 (01:38:53):
Socials Are you back on social?

Speaker 4 (01:38:55):
Like?

Speaker 2 (01:38:55):
Where can our people find you? Where are you at?

Speaker 4 (01:38:58):
Okay? So I'm kind of back on social, but not really.
It's the same as before. It's Elizabeth dot Ovison. I
just I don't like socials and I don't like being
a slave to an algorithm, and I'm really more comfortable
living my life.

Speaker 2 (01:39:13):
Where can people find you? For coaching?

Speaker 6 (01:39:15):
You can't know? Okay, so I got your number?

Speaker 7 (01:39:18):
Big?

Speaker 2 (01:39:19):
You can't how many clients you don't really have? Like
a three to five?

Speaker 4 (01:39:25):
I take three to five?

Speaker 5 (01:39:25):
And how long are your coaching? Is it like months?
Is it it's every month?

Speaker 4 (01:39:29):
For we just go so's it's it's an hour, an
hour to an hour and twenty minutes every single month forever.
So I've had my girls now for several years, and
that's it. Like it's just a very small group. I
love that I'm different.

Speaker 2 (01:39:44):
I don't.

Speaker 4 (01:39:44):
I don't want to be available to everybody.

Speaker 2 (01:39:46):
Amen.

Speaker 4 (01:39:47):
I want to save my energy, and I.

Speaker 6 (01:39:49):
Resonate with a certain discriminative awareness.

Speaker 4 (01:39:52):
Yeah, I just stand. I just I'm not for everybody,
and I understand that. So I'm just not as widely
availab bull as people would want me to be. But
that's because I don't fucking want to be where I want.

Speaker 6 (01:40:05):
So I don't want to be You're healthy, I'm healthy.

Speaker 5 (01:40:08):
Well, thank you for sharing your time, your thoughts, your
energy here in the space. I appreciate your time. I
appreciate your mind. Thank you, and I think the people
here do as well. In our audience really really resonated
with our last with our last episode together. So if
you haven't listened to that episode, make sure you go
check out the Woman who Slaps Back one.

Speaker 4 (01:40:26):
That was so good. You guys, you do two episodes
this time.

Speaker 5 (01:40:30):
Enough, Yeah, that's going to be a two parter. So
if you've gotten this far, congratulations, it's hard too.

Speaker 2 (01:40:40):
You know where to find us on all podcast platforms.

Speaker 5 (01:40:43):
Good Mom's Bad Choices, Like Mela said, join us at
the Good Vibe Retreat. You can find me at watch
Erica on Instagram or at watch Erica Nicole on TikTok.

Speaker 2 (01:40:51):
You can find Mela.

Speaker 6 (01:40:52):
At mela Underscore map.

Speaker 2 (01:40:55):
Make sure you follow our podcast studio here in La.
If you have a podcast, you.

Speaker 5 (01:40:58):
Want it recorded, you want then you just want to
sit down and talk and walk away. Make sure you
check out good dot good Media on Instagram or good
Good Productions dot com.

Speaker 2 (01:41:09):
Anyway, We'll see you next week. We love you, hey please?

Speaker 4 (01:41:14):
Yeah, I'm living so good? Can't you tell? I went
through a drought? That's until I find out well may
might have been known earth. I used to be broken
till now I got the blues ins and like Beyonce
Jasell throat shot or popping his car wearing our voices
Patriarch and catch it in the box to it's fois.
Women put the pi and powers, So what's pointless? They
want me to be good? So I made bad choices.

(01:41:35):
Bad mom, not a bad mom, but a bad mom.
Bitters in on put cannabis in their bath, bon walk
in bossas cap and I blew his cat boss hot Dog.
Now I'm immune to the cat called Herbie and no
waisted straight to it like a dollar sign. Mother, rent
the lumber when to it is like a water Someone
where you're renting winter resential will when the summertime. I
do what doll They know when that needs a running

(01:41:56):
by

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Jamilah Mapp

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