September 2, 2024 • 47 mins
In this episode, we tackle a deeply personal question from Kyle, who's facing significant challenges in his marriage. He shares his heartbreaking experience of his wife saying hurtful things like, "I hate you" and "go shoot yourself," while also expressing love and regret the next day. Kyle wonders whether it's okay to consider divorce, especially with his children in mind, despite his deep love for his wife and his belief in staying married.
We discuss the complexities of his situation, offering a biblical perspective on marriage and divorce. We emphasize the importance of community support and reconciliation, especially within the context of a Christian marriage. We also explore the internal contradictions Kyle is facing—wanting the best for his children, loving his wife, and working on himself.
Join us as we provide encouragement and advice on how to approach these difficult decisions, with the ultimate goal of seeking healing and reconciliation wherever possible. Join us to answer this question and more on today’s podcast!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:11):
Welcome back to the show. What we're gonna do here
is answer some questions you email us podcast at grangersmith
dot com. We answer them like we're riding in the
truck together, like we're sitting around a campfire. You say, hey, man,
I got this thing it's been going on. Can you
help me with it? I got a man with me,
producer of the show and one of my best friends.
What's up an Good to see you man, You too,
(00:33):
there we I don't know a lot about these questions
that people have sent in for today's show, but I
do know enough that there is there is a bit
of a theme going on. There is, and so we'll
see how that unravels.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
It's funny, it wasn't on purpose too. I read through
these and put them in in what we call an ROS.
That's a run a show for uh, for these for you,
And I'm not thinking about answering them necessarily when I'm
putting them together. I'm thinking about, this'd be a good
one to hear from granger on and then I get
to stay here and talk to you about them, so
I can read them and rethink you know about them.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
So yep, So let's see if we can unravel this theme.
The first questionnaire comes from Kyle. It says, Hey, Granger,
I'll get right into it. My wife and I haven't
been getting along lately. She says things like I hate
you and go shoot yourself, and that she wants a divorce.
Me personally, I don't believe in divorce. I love her
(01:26):
with all of my being, but her being so mean
takes a toll on me. Usually the day after she
says how much she loves me and that she doesn't
want to split up, but it always comes back. We
did marriage counseling three sessions and she quit. I ended
up going back by myself because I'm trying to better myself.
(01:47):
My question is, do you believe it's okay to file
for divorce because of the way I'm being treated. I
just want what's best for my children. Thank you for
your time. Sorry, this is really hard to talk about.
Kyle from Ohio. All right, thanks for being vulnerable. Kyle,
appreciate the email. And there's nothing in here that's that's
(02:10):
asking if this is biblical or if he's a Christian. Right,
So that's a little bit different perspective. Because we're gonna
come to this podcast with a biblical worldview. And so Kyle,
without you mentioning that some of the stuff I say
may not make sense to you, but it's okay, that's okay,
still applies, it still applies. But this is where it
(02:32):
gets This is where it gets really wonky with you, Kyle,
is I'm gonna I'm gonna look at from from the
point of view of you being involved in a church,
which really changes the dynamic of this because it's Christians.
I can't say this enough on this podcast, and I'll
probably say it more on this exact episode. Christians shouldn't
(02:56):
go through divorce alone. It's not advised in any way
that you should go through divorce alone. You should do
it with your brothers and sisters around you, which is
so encouraging. So with that in mind, let's dive into
this question. First. First thing on that comes to my
(03:18):
mind is you say, Kyle, I just want what's best
for my children. But that kind of contradicts a little
bit to what he says earlier when he says I
don't believe in divorce. I love her with all with
all of my being. Okay, So which one do we
want here? Which one is it?
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Yeah? And he's working on himself.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
And he's working on himself, so that we have a
little bit of a contradiction. Because if you only want
want what's best for your children's that's one direction. If
you only you love her with all of your being,
that's another, And if you want to work on yourself,
that's a third way. My suggestion is, and my encouragement
(04:03):
is that if you want what's best for your children,
that is reconciliation in the marriage agreed. Ok, Okay, So
you reconciling with the biological mama is better for them
then you divorcing and trying to figure out a way
to do what's best for them. That's not always the case.
(04:26):
That's not always the answer. That's not that's just not
that's not a cookie cutter cutter answer because, first of all,
most practically a lot of times reconciliation is not possible.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Yeah, sometimes it's not. When I read this email, I
read it one way again, you know, for the podcast,
but reading it as a response, the first thing I
see is she's hurting somewhere and she's lashing out at you.
And you know, we just went through we're going through
proverbs at church, and one of the biggest things we
talked about a couple of weeks ago, the life and
(05:00):
death being in the power of your tongue. With the
same tongue you give life and the same tongue you
give death. You curse somebody and you give life to somebody.
And when you're spewing out stuff that is hateful, like
go shoot yourself and I hate you, that's coming from
something in your heart that is disturbed. And so there's
(05:21):
some hurt with her somewhere. And I don't know if
it's in this marriage, if it's for the marriage, or
what it is. You know, we assume a lot with
these emails because there you know, what is this? You know,
seven six lines long, you know, to diagnose an entire
issue with the marriage. But there's something going here. It's
not I mean, it is salvageable from what I read.
I believe if if you both want it to be.
(05:44):
I mean, sometimes you do get to a place where
one of you wants it with all your heart and
the other one says, I just don't love you and
I don't want to be part of this anymore. What
do you do then? And maybe that's where we are
with this one as well. I come from a divorced family,
and I am divorce myself, a biblical divorce. But no
(06:04):
matter what, it's hard. And ultimately, listen, if if it's
gonna be hard no matter what, choose the hard one
that keeps things together if you can, m because it's
gonna be hard either way. You're you're doing one battle
that's really hard without a helper anymore. And you might
feel like you don't have a helper right now. But
(06:24):
if you can salvage and get your helper back in
that marriage, it is going to help make things better
and it's worth.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
The fight for sure. That's a great way to look
at it. So it's gonna be hard, Kyle, It's gonna
be hard no matter which road you pick right now.
It's gonna be hard in the road to restoration, and
it's gonna be hard in the road and being a
single dad and starting over. Sure, and man saying from experience,
since they're both hard, choose the one that's on the
(06:52):
road to reconciliation. Is that what you're saying?
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Yeah, yeah, sure, if you can. And I say if
you can, because some decisions just aren't up to you.
Have you done everything that are you in a church?
Do you have brothers? See part of mine involved things
at a church, and so it makes it it made
it hard for me to trust a church, not God,
but a church for a long long time. And even
(07:17):
so much as we are just now really getting settled
in a church that I fully am ready to be
plugged into a church. Healthy church, absolutely, and that's very important.
So I mean my first advice is where is just
the question of where are you going? Where are you
going to church? If you're not well, that's you need
to get plugged in somewhere that's a healthy place.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
Yeah. Side note another episode, possibly there is a big
difference everyone between a healthy church and an unhealthy church.
So if you have church hurt, if you look back
and you go, I don't like the church because it
did this and this, I would say there's a just
as there's a difference between an unhealthy doctor or a
bad practicing doctor and a good doctor, there is the
(07:57):
same thing with a massive of chasm between an unhealthy
church and a healthy church. Now we could do this
on another episode and actually walk through what it looks
like to be a healthy church, because you might think
that you're in one and it actually might not be
biblically healthy. We could do this in another episode, but
that's a side note to what you're saying. So here's
(08:18):
the major problem. Looks like there's a lot of problems,
but one of them they did counseling three sessions and
she quit. She left, so he goes back by himself. Now,
what do you think, Amy, What do you say to
a separation to begin this process?
Speaker 2 (08:39):
What do you mean to like start.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
To say before we file, we should live separately? What
do you think about that?
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Man? It's hard to reconcile when you're not together. Okay,
I believe, because yeah, I think you know, should you
have some alone time? Absolutely? I think separating in one
person living in one house and somebody listens living somewhere else.
I believe it's like move you're moving towards staying separated
(09:15):
versus moving towards staying together.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
Unless there's abuse, of course. Yeah, yeah, so that's the
caveat Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Of course. Yeah. If you're being abused, that's a that's
a completely different conversation too.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
And this is some verbal abuse. I mean obviously here,
nine times out of ten I would say that that
separating some people wake up and go, oh, man, I
can't do this by myself. And if if that, you know,
that is good for to get that revelation.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
But so I think he's asking one specific question. My
question is do you believe it's okay to file for
divorce because of the way I'm being treated? I just
want what's best for my children. That's the question. And
I think because there's so many unknowns, we don't get
to follow up question. We don't know the situation. We
don't know anything, Kyle. I don't even know if this
is your first wife or not. I don't know if
(10:07):
it's if these are your children and not hers. It
may be some scenarios this is his children from a
previous marriage that puts a new spend. So because I
don't know anything about this, I really only have one
piece of advice, and that is, don't make this decision
outside of wise counsel.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Agreed, agreed, and that would you know? I think that
that is the answer to this email. It is like
that this has to go much deeper. This conversation has
to go much deeper with someone that you trust with
And if you're going to a counselor what kind of
counselor too, make sure they're Bible believing counseling.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
And I also and part of what I mean by that,
I'm talking about a team, and so I'm not just
talking about professional, paid counseling. I'm talking about wise counsel
in the aspect of friends, trusted brothers around you. So
my answer, Kyle, my direct answer to dude, your question
is is it okay to file for divorce because of
(11:03):
the way I'm being treated? No without wise counsel. Yes,
with wise counsel. So it can go either way. But
if you don't have wise counsel, throw this whole question out.
If you do and they advise you need to walk away,
then I would say you could trust them in this.
She's abandoned you. There's abuse, verbal abuse. If you're with
(11:23):
wise counsel and they say no, don't file for divorce,
I would trust them on that as well. There's room
for reconciliation. But ant man and I don't know enough
about it.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Yeah, And I think the next question or the advice
would be, is, like or I would ask you, is
how does he find that? How does he find that
wise counsel if he's not in a church if they
didn't grow up in that, how does he go find
wise counsel?
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Right now, this is something that we should be preparing
before we end up in the situation, right This is
this is when you know CPR before you have to
use it. And so this is why this is reason
number eight hundre seventy five whire being involved in a
meaningful relationship with a good, solid, healthy Bible teaching church
(12:09):
is so important. It is a among other things. It's
a tribe.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
It's being in a tribe, which humans for centuries and
centuries millennia have been involved in a tribe, even when
it's outside of the context of what a Christian church is.
We're talking about Native American Indians. We're in tribes and
that those tribes. Sorry I have an airplane voice here,
I just got off the airplane. So these tribes operated
(12:38):
multi generations. They weren't age segregated like we're so quick
in society today to age segregate. Put the youth over here,
Put the toddlers in this room, Put the babies here,
put the put the nursing mothers here, Put the young
adults in this room. Put these seniors over in this room,
and we segregate everyone, so no one is learning from
each other. And for millennia, humans have learned from each
(13:00):
other without age segregating. So now here we are and
we're stuck in these situations where someone goes, I'm going
through this big problem, granger, I'm going through this divorce,
and I have no one.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
To talk to.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
That's because our culture has age segregated. You have no
wise counsel, you have no tribe. The best we do
with tribes sometimes is the youth baseball team that your
kid plays for. That's your tribe. Even worse, social media,
even worse, your social media is your tribe. So a man,
your question is what do you do if you're already
(13:34):
in a situation where you don't have your tribe, you
don't have your wise counsel, and you need to make
a decision now. And to that, I say, this is
doing CPR without ever taking a class. It's very hard.
There's not a right or wrong answer to this, but
it's very difficult. So if you're listening and you're not
in the situation, find your tribe. And I would say,
(13:57):
above all, a good Bible believing, healthy church is your tribe.
That's that's what they're that's what that's how they function
in the many ways that a church functions. It's this,
it's your family.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
I think that's our responsibility is man too. That's part
of leadership and leading your family is wondering what you're
supposed to be doing. Well, you know, I don't have
an issue right now that that I have to address.
What should I be doing? Things like that? Yeah, looking
for things where you find your weaknesses. Where are you
weak right now? Fill those holes? Fill those gaps for
(14:29):
you and your family.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
If you want to know who to pick for your
wise counsel, you look at their fruits of their life. Yes,
for sure, not just because they're easy to talk to.
Are there good listeners? Are they're cool people? Or their
proximity that their next door neighbors to you look at
the fruits of their life and go, hey, brother, it
looks like you have We all have mistakes and we
(14:54):
all have a track record, but currently it looks like
you have. You have your You're on a good solid tree.
You have good fruits coming out from your life. Can
you help me with this situation? What do I do
and build a tribe in that way? Have you done time.
We got it. We let's do another question. Kyle. I
hope that's enough for you. Next question from David says,
(15:17):
Hello David from Ohio. Me and my fiance are getting
married in September. We're both born again Christians and wanted
your thoughts on birth control. Should Christians use it? Is
it a sin? If we Lord willing have children? I
want to give each child enough attention. That's what I'm
getting at, He says, thank you. Love to listen to
(15:39):
the podcast when I'm on the road as a trucker.
God bless all right, David, it's a good question. Then
we should be thinking through these things. My first answer is,
have your try, have your wise counsel around you. These
are great questions.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
We changed the name of the podcast to wise Counsel.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
Yeah, Granger Smith and the Wise Counsel. It's like the
band name. And by the way, I'm not really considered
wise counsel because I'm not with these people. I don't
know you. So my encouragement is to direct you towards what.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Really is why this shouldn't be the sole help.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
This is not the council. But David, I think it's
a great question and we should be We should be
thinking through all these things. You say you're a born
again Christian, and that's great. This is a this is
a form of your sanctification that's weighing on you on
theological things, things that matter in life, Having children, planning
for children matters, and so you should be questioning everything,
(16:41):
not just because that's the way it's done on social media,
not because that's the way mom and dad did it.
But am I thinking through this from a biblical worldview?
So the you know, the heart of man plans his way,
but the Lord establishes his steps, the Bible says, So
that doesn't mean that we don't plan just because the
Lord establishes steps. Or you could say another proverb, the
(17:04):
horse is made ready for the day of battle, but
the victory belongs to the Lord. That doesn't mean because
the victory belongs to the Lord. And because he establishes
our steps doesn't mean we don't plan our way, And
it doesn't mean we don't prepare the horse for the
day of battle. So if you're planning on having children, great,
If you plan on separating it out due to finances
(17:29):
or which I think is a great point, you make
giving enough attention to each child. I don't think there's
anything wrong with that, but you're also not The victory
is not up to you, and the steps that you
take is ultimately not up to you. If you're giving
all that up to a sovereign God and going Lord.
If it was up to me, I would have children
(17:52):
staggered every two years. But Lord is not up to me.
So I'm gonna plan like it is up to me.
But I'm gonna all always know and acknowledge you are
behind all of it, in your sovereignty, in your purpose.
I don't think there's anything wrong with that. And so
when it comes to birth control, I don't think there's
(18:12):
anything wrong. And there would be a gray line if
I started to name different kinds of contraceptives, there would
be a gray line on what is biblical or not.
For instance, the Catholics have long practiced the I don't
know the word. What's the feminine calendar? You know when
(18:33):
girls have a cycle, sure, and they have a calendar.
I don't know what the name is Catholics. Catholics know
this that there's a calendar and the woman's cycle is
on the calendar, and they could literally say we're safe
to have intercourse during these days and these days. This
(18:54):
is because Catholics essentially, hey forgive me, I don't know
a lot about this, but they don't believe in contraceptive, right. So,
but in following the calendar, that is a contra that is,
it is a form of s. That's where I'm talking
about the gray line is. So we're talking about condoms here,
we're talking about following a calendar. I think there's a
(19:15):
gray line. Now, you're a lot less likely with the condom,
with that contraceptive than you are with an accident with
the calendar. But but it's still a gray line here.
Here's where I'm gonna draw This is where this is
where I draw the line. The line is the what
do you call it? A border fashions? What do you
(19:36):
call that? What's that word that? The there's pills that
are that are cell killing plan B a border of fashions?
I think so something like that after you.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
After you would have sex, you would take a pill
to basically kill whatever may have happened here.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Yeah, So that that's where there's a hard line there
For me. I'm not gonna come down on you and say, hey,
you and your wife in your in your practical planning,
should never use this form of contraception unless it is
a board of fashion. I think that's the word. I'm sorry,
I don't know, but this is a cell killing poison.
(20:15):
I say, do not do that. I am personally against
tying tubes. I'm personally against what's the other sectory, the sectomy.
I think I think someone could make a biblical argument
against me, and I would be I could change my
stance on that so that this is not like, this
(20:38):
is not black and white. But but here's my point.
Here's my point of everything I'm saying. I think it's
very important as a family, as a as a you're
you're not married yet, you're getting married in September. All
these are great conversations to have before you're married and
before she has her first baby. Great conversations. Uh, conversations
(21:00):
about adoption are great conversations to have. And so as
long as you're walking through it, you're praying through it. Lord.
We we know that you say we plan our away,
but you establish our steps. And so Lord, we're going
to plan on staggering two years between babies. We're going
to plan on using using a form of contraceptive. So
(21:22):
that we could we could uh plan this out. But Lord,
will you crush this idea? If this is wrong or
if this is not within your will? Were you make
sanctify us in a way that just makes us so
uneasy and so uncomfortable with this. And you're in wise counsel,
You're in your church. You're in your small groups, so
your your your gatherings, you're with your pastor or your elders,
(21:45):
however you call it in your church, and you're you're
talking through this with them and saying where do we
draw the line on birth control? And your church may
have some kind of established idea of this. And if
you love the church and they're a they're they're a
healthy church and they have a certain encouragement and they
probably do on birth control, go with that. Not what
(22:06):
I say on this podcast. But the important thing and
the point is you're thinking through this with the biblical worldview,
and God will honor that as long as he gets
he gets the glory at the end, and you recognize
his sovereignty in it.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
I think the planning is wise. To not plan is reckless.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Yeah you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, So that your point is,
let's just not not the Lord brings babies, so let's
just not worry about it at all. That's the opposite
end of the spectrum. And I don't think that's wise either.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Right, right, And then you know, we do see that
where people just don't care. They're just out for themselves,
and you know, and they end up with babies that
were unplanned and they have to change change things in
their life. Not always a bad thing, obviously, but to
not if you're in a healthy relationship, you're getting married,
you're talking about having this conversation, you're planning and thinking
(22:59):
through stuff, just already on the right track.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
Yep. If you want to get a hold of me,
go to cameo dot com slash granger Smith and I
could send you a video message made right here on
my phone whatever you want me to say, Happy birthday,
happy anniversary. It's a great way for you and I
to stay in contact and to get someone a gift
that might seem to have everything. Hey, get him a
gift at cameo dot com slash Grangersmith. Okay, let's get
(23:21):
into this next question. If you have a question for me,
by the way, email podcast at grangersmith dot com and
the next question here, I just got off an airplane.
That's why I have an airplane voice. Is that a thing?
Have you heard people say that airplane voice?
Speaker 2 (23:33):
But it's also I mean, you're now in the business
of speaking for a living. This is what it's either
in front of a front of a crowd, you know, congregation,
what have you. It's here on the podcast, or it's
on after midnight mornings with Granger, all of it. That's
what you do now, So this is to be expected.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
All I do is talk, and that just leaves it
all in the hands of the Lord, because if the
Lord wants to shut me up, if he wants to
shut down everything I do, he just stops my voice
and voice and I am done seeing music.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
You still play guitar?
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Yeah, yeah, I am done if the Lord decides to
ship my voice off.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
The next question comes from Brendan. It says, Grandeur, I'm
a longtime fan of country music, even some of your stuff.
Oh thanks. I'm not the poster child for Christianity, but
one thing that I've tried to do is watch my language,
especially when in a crowd of people who don't. I
figure it's an easy thing to do, and sometimes in
(24:32):
the room might notice my conviction, and someone in the
room might notice my conviction and find a similar one
within themselves, or at least see that the profanity is
not adding anything to the conversation. Where I've been finding
an issue is when I'm working on the farm, often alone,
and I, for example, drop something on my foot. The
(24:55):
profanity slips out before I can even think to myself,
don't say that those words in the moment bother me.
So do you have any advice for a person who
can control cussing in a crowd but the words are
enough on the tip of the tongue that they come
out later, or a mindset you took when you began
(25:17):
seeing the issue with profanity that helped you. And does
this mean I can't listen to City Boy Stuck? That's
part of joke. I listened to a lot of podcasts
when driving. When I climb into the tractor, yours is
the first one I always choose. It takes the relaxation
of the tractor work and combines it with great reflection.
Keep it coming, Brendan See from Kansas, Hey, Brendan, Thanks buddy.
(25:40):
I appreciate the encouragement to me, and I appreciate the question.
I think it's a good question. And I also you
know what I like to say, I like to see
is when you say I'm not the poster child for Christianity. Same, yeah, same,
And I think that should always be our heart position,
(26:01):
the greed. It's like, Lord, I know what you ask
from me, and I see it in your word, and
yet again I have not lived up to your commands,
to the obedience that you have asked from me as
a result of the grace that you've given me through
your son. So amen, I'm not either the poster child
(26:25):
for Christianity. And I think that's a good heart position
for the rest of our lives. Brother, And it's also
a great question. Your question is basically, look, I'm I'm.
I can pretty much control myself around Mama and Grandma
when i'm talking, But when I'm out by myself and
I drop a hair on my foot, out comes the
(26:46):
F bomb. How do I fix this? And I think
it's a good question because Jesus was always after the heart.
He wasn't after the facade, he wasn't after what you
do in public. He was after all of you, which
includes what you do in private. In fact, when it
comes to sin. He was just as interested, if not more,
interested in what you do in private, because that truly
(27:09):
reveals who you are. And so I think it's a
great question to be thinking through. How do I control
myself in private, not just in public. And it's so
interesting when people say this is not you, Brendan, but
when people say things like, man, I just I can't
(27:31):
control what I say. I am what I am, and
I always think I have no filter. Yeah, I have
no filter. And I always think everyone has a filter.
You wouldn't go to the the superintendent of your school
district and draw F bombs. You probably wouldn't say it
around your grandma, depending on your grandma. If you went
to a cocktail dinner with the governor of your state
(27:55):
and you got five minutes with him, you probably wouldn't
drop the F bomb. So everyone has a somewhere. Some
are smaller than others, but everyone has one. So everyone
has the same filter in private. Here's here's where I
want to go, Brendan. Most likely, and I love that
(28:16):
you're thinking through it. That's great. Most likely in this scenario,
we need to look at what we're consuming in our lives,
because if we're consuming rated our movies all the time.
If we're listening to other podcasts with cussing all the time,
if we're listening to music with cussing all the time,
(28:36):
then it is second nature for us and it becomes
the default. So when we have a facade of filter
around Grandma and in public, but we what happens in
private reveals what's really in there. That's also a pretty good,
pretty good indication of what we're consuming. So I would
(28:58):
say begin Brendan to eradicate and pay close attention to
what you're paying attention to, whatever it is in your
life that you are focused on. Pay attention to what
that is that you're focused on. What do I mean
by that? I mean, I mean start taking accountability throughout
(29:18):
the day. If you're if your way of relaxing is
watching a movie that's that's got murder and shoot them
up and sex and adultery and cussing all in the movie,
and you say that's just the way I relax That
is penetrating your soul. These are things that are that
are slowly bleeding into your life, and so eradicate that,
(29:41):
start to pull out instead of saying, how do I
control myself in private? Grade er. I say, start to
control what you're consuming, and I think that that will
take care of itself. What do you have on this end?
Speaker 2 (29:58):
Pretty elementary and but it goes along with that. And
I want to have a nice yard. I don't know
anything about having a nice yard, like I don't know
all the mechanics of it. And keep it mowed, try
to keep it green. And then I found out that
you know, there are weeds in certain parts, but when
I'm mow, evidently I end up spreading the seed into
(30:19):
other parts of the yard that didn't have weeds in
it before. And then I'm trying to battle both of them, right,
And that's kind of how I see and how it's
I feel it's been in my life with cursing. Just
like you said, if you don't eradicate it in one
area what you listen to and what you consume, it's
going to spread to other parts of your life. And
if it becomes I mean, he's concerned with it when
(30:43):
he's when he drops a hammer. That's really cool that
you're like that, because if you weren't concerned with it,
then you'll just eventually not be concerned with it when
you're with friends and then it becomes normal there and
then you won't really be concerned with it when you're
with your parents or in a place where you don't
And then you say it and you realize you shouldn't
have said something in that instance or in that in
(31:05):
that uh, in that atmosphere, and you're like, where how
did this come about? Well, go back to how you
were feeling no longer feeling convicted when you said it alone,
you know, yeah, And it just continues to spread throughout
your life if you let it and you don't. It's
a weed, you know, yeah, And you don't take care
of it when it's small, it starts taking root in
(31:26):
other parts of your life.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
And Brennan, I've been there. I know exactly. That's that was.
That was a level of sanctification with me where I
was frustrated with things that came out of my mouth
when I it was a reflex, so a knee jerk.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
That's a conversation, you know. I said, I didn't want
to listen. I like these podcasts, but I wanted to
start weeding these out because the language and them were
just awful. It was guy a podcast, so guys just
cuss around each other. Well, guys don't have to cuss
around each other like that's it doesn't have to be
part of your life.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely, And and to the end to the question,
does this mean I can't listen to City Boy Stuck?
That's part of what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
The most important question right there's yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
I mean literally, that's what I'm saying. You're gonna hear,
you know, eventually I put that I will put out
a live record for the just the last concert that
I did, and you'll hear if there ever was a
cuss word, a D word, or an H word, all
of those were turned into heck heck no on is that?
(32:32):
Yeah that city boy stuck? Yeah, city boy stuck is
heck no on the live record, And even that that
was a form of sanctification for me to get there.
And then even beyond that, it's like I shouldn't even
say that, and so so yeah, it depends on what
you're consuming, what you're surrounding yourself with. And I'm sorry
I was that influence. I was a bad influence on
(32:54):
people as Earl Devils Junior and with the music, So
forgive me of that. I'm I'm trying to eradicate that
out of my life as well.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
They're close to the end of your year tour. When
I would go out with you, I would like what
you have on right now in ears. I would have
those in while I was shooting photos whatever I was doing,
and I would because when you have them thata close
to your ear drum, you hear the full word, not
what you are used to singing in the song. And
(33:24):
I was like, oh, he's changing the words the songs. Yeah, yeah,
there's a change. And he was a started notice on that.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
Then yeah. Next question comes from Travis says, Hey, hope
you're having I hope it's going I hope your day
is going well. Sorry. I found your podcast a few
months ago during some long hours at work, and it
made me think about God, and that makes me think
about my old roommate. I'm glad, first of all. On
the side note, I'm glad that I'll make you think
(33:52):
of God. Sorry airplane voice. Have I said that yet?
I found his listing on Facebook, but of looking for
a renter in a room I had to move for
school and couldn't find anything I could afford. I moved
in with him and had a great time with him
and his fiance. I proposed to my now wife in
that house and then moved out a few months later.
(34:14):
We would hang out from time to time. Then one
Thursday in December, we were supposed to hang out. I
had a garage with a dartboard. We started a game,
a game we never got to finish. I texted him
a few times that day to make sure he was
still up to hang out. No response. A few hours later,
he texted or so I thought it was his wife.
He had taken his life that day. Around one year,
(34:38):
around the one year mark, I sent a Facebook message
to his widow, but it never went through. My wife
was able to message her just fine. I'm not sure
if this is a message from God or not. He
was a very religious person. Christmas was his favorite time
of year. Now for my question, should I keep trying
to reach out to the widow of my friend or
(35:00):
leave it? Since since the first time the message didn't
go through, I've driven by the house a few times
and it doesn't look to be kept up. I think
she moved back to her parents' house. They are all
of us are in our early twenties. Thanks in advanced
Travis okay, tough situation, Travis, let me kind of dive in.
(35:23):
There's this is multi layered, so let me dive in
as if we're sitting in the caboat truck. I'm gonna
start with you found my podcast a few months ago
and it made you think about God. That's interesting to me.
Let's come back to it. Secondly, you got a buddy
(35:46):
from Facebook because of the room for rent. It wasn't
a great buddy, it was just a good acquaintance. Right.
Speaker 2 (35:57):
Sounds like they did a lot of life together.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
They did some life together. Yeah. The message to the
widow that didn't go through, is this a message from
God or No? God's not going to communicate through a
failed Facebook message. God is sovereign over everything, including Facebook messages.
So if God didn't want the message to go through,
he will do it or not. That's not a question.
(36:21):
The question is was God trying to send you a
cryptic message through the mess through the Facebook message not
going through that? No, the Bible doesn't speak in terms
of God knowing us in that way or speaking to
us that way. He speaks to us in one way,
and that is through the Son, the Word of God,
the Son made flesh, Jesus through the Bible. We have
(36:44):
sixty six books God Inspired, written by over forty different
authors over the course of fifteen hundred years, revealing the
truth of who God is and how He has revealed
himself to us to reconcile us to himself, to bring
us to himself through his on Jesus. That's the way
he communicates to you, not through a failed Facebook message.
(37:05):
That's a cryptic. Should I know if this is God
trying to say something like we're in the movie American Treasure.
What's that movie treasure? The National Treasure? It's not National Treasure.
Speaker 2 (37:22):
Sorry, I wasn't help there.
Speaker 1 (37:24):
Okay, So we've established that, and then let's look into
he was a very religious person. Christmas was his famous
favorite time of year. That's not really part of this topic.
I'll lay off that. Should you keep reaching out to
the widow or be very careful because she's a widow,
she's single, and you're married, so you have to be
(37:47):
careful with that dynamic. I love that she is reaching
your wife is reaching out. It's a great thing, but
you don't want to send them a signal that you
are reaching out privately to a widow. That is vulnerable
to a very nice man that just wants to help.
That's a bad situation. Let's stay clear of that. You've
(38:08):
been up by the house, it looks like it needs
to be kept up. Work through your wife in that.
Speaker 2 (38:12):
It's great.
Speaker 1 (38:13):
It's a biblical command, of course to take care of
widows and orphans. But make sure you're doing this in
a responsible way. I e. Through your wife and have
her reach out and say, hey, I saw that the
house has some weeds. Do you mind if I send
my husband over there. He's got a weed eater and
he'd be happy to take care of it. And that way,
(38:34):
you're protecting your own marriage through a potential temptation as
simple as that. You don't have to go any further
than that. And she's in her early twenties, most likely
she will be remarried. I don't say that with trying
to be without sensitivity to the situation, but this typically
typically what's going to happen is she'll re marry. As
(38:55):
difficult as this situation is, and she's going to be okay,
very very I mean unbelievably difficult situations. So I'm not
trying to be insensitive, but this is different. If she's
she's seventy years old and she's a widow and she
doesn't have a family, and she doesn't have That's when
(39:16):
you go over and you go, ma'am, I'd like to
like to start doing your grass, to take care of
your grass, if that's okay, And maybe I can come
and clean some of this stuff off your front porch.
That's a different situation then she's early twenties, yes, and
you're going, is there anything I can help you with? Right? Okay? Yeah,
I agreed. I think the most important part of this
(39:38):
entire email is the first sentence. I found her podcast
a few months ago, and it made me think about God.
I think, if anything, Travis, I want to use this
as an opportunity, not for the grieving widow, not for
the guilt that you may have. There's always a weird
(40:00):
guilt around suicide. In fact, yesterday I was speaking at
a church and a man came up to me afterward
and he said that his dad just committed suicide two
months ago. And he said, I'm having trouble grieving and
I don't know why, and I'm no grief book seems
(40:22):
to matter to me, No advice anyone gives me seems
to matter to me, And I said, I said, that's
because suicide it carries a different weight to it, because
it carries a sinister guilt into all the people that
knew that person, thinking could I have done more? It's
not like a cancer, it's not like a heart attack,
(40:43):
it's not like a car accident. This is something that
everyone around the suicide starts questioning themselves. Oh, you think
about the last conversation you had, You think about the
last time you're with him? Should think about it? Should
I see have seen it? Should I have reported it?
Should I have done more? Everyone thinks that that's different
than cancer. So, Travis, this is a little bit of
(41:06):
what's going on with you. You're thinking, Man, that dart game
I texted him no response? Should I have texted him
an hour earlier? Should I have scheduled that dark game
the day before? If I had, would this have been different?
So recognize that this is part of your struggle and
(41:26):
go ahead, Well.
Speaker 2 (41:27):
No, you've already touched on it. But man, that you
saying that's part of your struggle to then latch onto
someone of the opposite sex, to go, oh, we're struggling
with the same thing. Is very, very, very dangerous. So
if you think that there was a man, and I
know there's not, but if you think there was a
message from God and not getting that that message through
(41:48):
to her on Facebook, I would just consider it protection
and move on.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
That's great.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
Just you were protected. You made a rash decision and
shot her a private message that was protection that it
didn't go through.
Speaker 1 (42:01):
I think that's great. I think it's great. It's not
there's a difference between God protecting you and God sending
you a crypt a cryptic message through the message not
going through like a man saying let it go. And
then let's start thinking about why my podcast makes you
think about God. And I'm very grateful that the Lord
(42:23):
could possibly use this podcast for someone to so that
he might draw someone to himself. If I'm that if
this podcast the Lord uses this podcast as a conduit
for that man, that's amazing and so encouraging. But I
want to follow up on that and say, Travis, I
(42:44):
would I would think about how God does reveal himself
because if you're if you're open to the consideration that
God might message you, send a cryptic message through Facebook
to you, I would consider what Christians know to be
true in the way that God has revealed himself, and
(43:06):
that is through the Bible. And we spoke a little
bit about that. But then I would I would consider
why God has revealed himself in the Bible, and what
the message of that Bible is. And truly the message
of that Bible is that you cannot be good enough
for Him. That you could, you could not make up
for the sin that has separated you from God, which
(43:31):
is a rebellion of God, who created the world and
it was good, and he created man in his own
image and it was good. And then man rebelled against
him in the garden, instantly wanting to be God himself
in a way, and through that we have inherited that sin,
and all of us have followed suit with our original
(43:55):
father Adam. And you could testify this to yourself. I can't.
You can't at and Travis, you can to. Thinking back
to have you rebelled against Gott? Have you used yourself
in a self centered, controlling way where you become your
own God, in charge of your own salvation, in charge
of your own destiny. The answer is always to that, yes,
(44:17):
we all have. And so you think, well, what do
I do to make up for this? How do I
fix this problem? And the truth is that that would
be like a murderer sitting in the courtroom saying, Judge,
I'm really sorry I murdered. I committed a huge crime,
and I want to tell you I've learned my lesson
(44:40):
and I want to do better. How could I do it?
And the judge says, I don't really care what you
say about who you are now and that you've changed.
In order for me to be just, in order for
me to be a good judge, I have to carry
out my punishment. And so that's a major problem with humans,
and that steff to God. But God knowing this, knowing
(45:02):
that we couldn't make our way to him. The story
of the Bible literally is that God came to us.
He condescended himself, the creator of the universe, to become man,
to come into his own universe that he created, to
live the perfect life, to be the example of what
(45:24):
atom should have been, the original atom that failed. God
comes in the form of man as Jesus to be
the second atom, to be the perfect one, who then
went to the cross and died as a sacrifice, the
ultimate sacrifice of all that punishment I said that the
judge gives to the murder. Jesus takes that punishment on himself.
(45:46):
He takes the sin of the world, all of it,
onto himself from the wrath of God, the punishment that
the just judge has to still punish. So now back
to the scenario of the murder, he goes, Judge, what
can I do? Judge gets a notice and he goes, Actually,
a man has stepped in your place and taking your
punishment on himself. So now I'm just to set you free.
(46:09):
And now that you're free, you live a life of
gratitude in obedience to the one that sets you free.
That's what the Bible says Jesus did for us. And
so I want you to explore this idea that the
Bible says. And if God communicates with us in this way,
and there is only one way that he made for
us to be able to know him and to know
(46:29):
what he wants, to know what he loves, to know
what he hates. If there is only one way the Bible,
then then then there must be a need for you
to read it like an instruction manual for your own life.
And then there must be a community called the church
that could surround you and help carry you through situations
like this, this Facebook thing, Travis. That's my encouragement to you.
(46:53):
You have anything to add to that encouragement before. I
appreciate you guys, all of y'all for emailing and if
you want to yeah, if you want to keep it coming,
shoot a message to podcast at grangersmith dot com and
like always, we'll see you next Monday. Thanks for joining
me on the Grangersmith podcast. I appreciate all of you guys.
(47:13):
You could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes.
If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel, hit that
little like button and notification spell so that you never
miss anytime I upload a video. Yigi
Welcome back to the show. What we're gonna do here
is answer some questions you email us podcast at grangersmith
dot com. We answer them like we're riding in the
truck together, like we're sitting around a campfire. You say, hey, man,
I got this thing it's been going on. Can you
help me with it? I got a man with me,
producer of the show and one of my best friends.
What's up an Good to see you man, You too,
(00:33):
there we I don't know a lot about these questions
that people have sent in for today's show, but I
do know enough that there is there is a bit
of a theme going on. There is, and so we'll
see how that unravels.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
It's funny, it wasn't on purpose too. I read through
these and put them in in what we call an ROS.
That's a run a show for uh, for these for you,
And I'm not thinking about answering them necessarily when I'm
putting them together. I'm thinking about, this'd be a good
one to hear from granger on and then I get
to stay here and talk to you about them, so
I can read them and rethink you know about them.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
So yep, So let's see if we can unravel this theme.
The first questionnaire comes from Kyle. It says, Hey, Granger,
I'll get right into it. My wife and I haven't
been getting along lately. She says things like I hate
you and go shoot yourself, and that she wants a divorce.
Me personally, I don't believe in divorce. I love her
(01:26):
with all of my being, but her being so mean
takes a toll on me. Usually the day after she
says how much she loves me and that she doesn't
want to split up, but it always comes back. We
did marriage counseling three sessions and she quit. I ended
up going back by myself because I'm trying to better myself.
(01:47):
My question is, do you believe it's okay to file
for divorce because of the way I'm being treated. I
just want what's best for my children. Thank you for
your time. Sorry, this is really hard to talk about.
Kyle from Ohio. All right, thanks for being vulnerable. Kyle,
appreciate the email. And there's nothing in here that's that's
(02:10):
asking if this is biblical or if he's a Christian. Right,
So that's a little bit different perspective. Because we're gonna
come to this podcast with a biblical worldview. And so Kyle,
without you mentioning that some of the stuff I say
may not make sense to you, but it's okay, that's okay,
still applies, it still applies. But this is where it
(02:32):
gets This is where it gets really wonky with you, Kyle,
is I'm gonna I'm gonna look at from from the
point of view of you being involved in a church,
which really changes the dynamic of this because it's Christians.
I can't say this enough on this podcast, and I'll
probably say it more on this exact episode. Christians shouldn't
(02:56):
go through divorce alone. It's not advised in any way
that you should go through divorce alone. You should do
it with your brothers and sisters around you, which is
so encouraging. So with that in mind, let's dive into
this question. First. First thing on that comes to my
(03:18):
mind is you say, Kyle, I just want what's best
for my children. But that kind of contradicts a little
bit to what he says earlier when he says I
don't believe in divorce. I love her with all with
all of my being. Okay, So which one do we
want here? Which one is it?
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Yeah? And he's working on himself.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
And he's working on himself, so that we have a
little bit of a contradiction. Because if you only want
want what's best for your children's that's one direction. If
you only you love her with all of your being,
that's another, And if you want to work on yourself,
that's a third way. My suggestion is, and my encouragement
(04:03):
is that if you want what's best for your children,
that is reconciliation in the marriage agreed. Ok, Okay, So
you reconciling with the biological mama is better for them
then you divorcing and trying to figure out a way
to do what's best for them. That's not always the case.
(04:26):
That's not always the answer. That's not that's just not
that's not a cookie cutter cutter answer because, first of all,
most practically a lot of times reconciliation is not possible.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Yeah, sometimes it's not. When I read this email, I
read it one way again, you know, for the podcast,
but reading it as a response, the first thing I
see is she's hurting somewhere and she's lashing out at you.
And you know, we just went through we're going through
proverbs at church, and one of the biggest things we
talked about a couple of weeks ago, the life and
(05:00):
death being in the power of your tongue. With the
same tongue you give life and the same tongue you
give death. You curse somebody and you give life to somebody.
And when you're spewing out stuff that is hateful, like
go shoot yourself and I hate you, that's coming from
something in your heart that is disturbed. And so there's
(05:21):
some hurt with her somewhere. And I don't know if
it's in this marriage, if it's for the marriage, or
what it is. You know, we assume a lot with
these emails because there you know, what is this? You know,
seven six lines long, you know, to diagnose an entire
issue with the marriage. But there's something going here. It's
not I mean, it is salvageable from what I read.
I believe if if you both want it to be.
(05:44):
I mean, sometimes you do get to a place where
one of you wants it with all your heart and
the other one says, I just don't love you and
I don't want to be part of this anymore. What
do you do then? And maybe that's where we are
with this one as well. I come from a divorced family,
and I am divorce myself, a biblical divorce. But no
(06:04):
matter what, it's hard. And ultimately, listen, if if it's
gonna be hard no matter what, choose the hard one
that keeps things together if you can, m because it's
gonna be hard either way. You're you're doing one battle
that's really hard without a helper anymore. And you might
feel like you don't have a helper right now. But
(06:24):
if you can salvage and get your helper back in
that marriage, it is going to help make things better
and it's worth.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
The fight for sure. That's a great way to look
at it. So it's gonna be hard, Kyle, It's gonna
be hard no matter which road you pick right now.
It's gonna be hard in the road to restoration, and
it's gonna be hard in the road and being a
single dad and starting over. Sure, and man saying from experience,
since they're both hard, choose the one that's on the
(06:52):
road to reconciliation. Is that what you're saying?
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Yeah, yeah, sure, if you can. And I say if
you can, because some decisions just aren't up to you.
Have you done everything that are you in a church?
Do you have brothers? See part of mine involved things
at a church, and so it makes it it made
it hard for me to trust a church, not God,
but a church for a long long time. And even
(07:17):
so much as we are just now really getting settled
in a church that I fully am ready to be
plugged into a church. Healthy church, absolutely, and that's very important.
So I mean my first advice is where is just
the question of where are you going? Where are you
going to church? If you're not well, that's you need
to get plugged in somewhere that's a healthy place.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
Yeah. Side note another episode, possibly there is a big
difference everyone between a healthy church and an unhealthy church.
So if you have church hurt, if you look back
and you go, I don't like the church because it
did this and this, I would say there's a just
as there's a difference between an unhealthy doctor or a
bad practicing doctor and a good doctor, there is the
(07:57):
same thing with a massive of chasm between an unhealthy
church and a healthy church. Now we could do this
on another episode and actually walk through what it looks
like to be a healthy church, because you might think
that you're in one and it actually might not be
biblically healthy. We could do this in another episode, but
that's a side note to what you're saying. So here's
(08:18):
the major problem. Looks like there's a lot of problems,
but one of them they did counseling three sessions and
she quit. She left, so he goes back by himself. Now,
what do you think, Amy, What do you say to
a separation to begin this process?
Speaker 2 (08:39):
What do you mean to like start.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
To say before we file, we should live separately? What
do you think about that?
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Man? It's hard to reconcile when you're not together. Okay,
I believe, because yeah, I think you know, should you
have some alone time? Absolutely? I think separating in one
person living in one house and somebody listens living somewhere else.
I believe it's like move you're moving towards staying separated
(09:15):
versus moving towards staying together.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
Unless there's abuse, of course. Yeah, yeah, so that's the
caveat Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Of course. Yeah. If you're being abused, that's a that's
a completely different conversation too.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
And this is some verbal abuse. I mean obviously here,
nine times out of ten I would say that that
separating some people wake up and go, oh, man, I
can't do this by myself. And if if that, you know,
that is good for to get that revelation.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
But so I think he's asking one specific question. My
question is do you believe it's okay to file for
divorce because of the way I'm being treated? I just
want what's best for my children. That's the question. And
I think because there's so many unknowns, we don't get
to follow up question. We don't know the situation. We
don't know anything, Kyle. I don't even know if this
is your first wife or not. I don't know if
(10:07):
it's if these are your children and not hers. It
may be some scenarios this is his children from a
previous marriage that puts a new spend. So because I
don't know anything about this, I really only have one
piece of advice, and that is, don't make this decision
outside of wise counsel.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Agreed, agreed, and that would you know? I think that
that is the answer to this email. It is like
that this has to go much deeper. This conversation has
to go much deeper with someone that you trust with
And if you're going to a counselor what kind of
counselor too, make sure they're Bible believing counseling.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
And I also and part of what I mean by that,
I'm talking about a team, and so I'm not just
talking about professional, paid counseling. I'm talking about wise counsel
in the aspect of friends, trusted brothers around you. So
my answer, Kyle, my direct answer to dude, your question
is is it okay to file for divorce because of
(11:03):
the way I'm being treated? No without wise counsel. Yes,
with wise counsel. So it can go either way. But
if you don't have wise counsel, throw this whole question out.
If you do and they advise you need to walk away,
then I would say you could trust them in this.
She's abandoned you. There's abuse, verbal abuse. If you're with
(11:23):
wise counsel and they say no, don't file for divorce,
I would trust them on that as well. There's room
for reconciliation. But ant man and I don't know enough
about it.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Yeah, And I think the next question or the advice
would be, is, like or I would ask you, is
how does he find that? How does he find that
wise counsel if he's not in a church if they
didn't grow up in that, how does he go find
wise counsel?
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Right now, this is something that we should be preparing
before we end up in the situation, right This is
this is when you know CPR before you have to
use it. And so this is why this is reason
number eight hundre seventy five whire being involved in a
meaningful relationship with a good, solid, healthy Bible teaching church
(12:09):
is so important. It is a among other things. It's
a tribe.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
It's being in a tribe, which humans for centuries and
centuries millennia have been involved in a tribe, even when
it's outside of the context of what a Christian church is.
We're talking about Native American Indians. We're in tribes and
that those tribes. Sorry I have an airplane voice here,
I just got off the airplane. So these tribes operated
(12:38):
multi generations. They weren't age segregated like we're so quick
in society today to age segregate. Put the youth over here,
Put the toddlers in this room, Put the babies here,
put the put the nursing mothers here, Put the young
adults in this room. Put these seniors over in this room,
and we segregate everyone, so no one is learning from
each other. And for millennia, humans have learned from each
(13:00):
other without age segregating. So now here we are and
we're stuck in these situations where someone goes, I'm going
through this big problem, granger, I'm going through this divorce,
and I have no one.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
To talk to.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
That's because our culture has age segregated. You have no
wise counsel, you have no tribe. The best we do
with tribes sometimes is the youth baseball team that your
kid plays for. That's your tribe. Even worse, social media,
even worse, your social media is your tribe. So a man,
your question is what do you do if you're already
(13:34):
in a situation where you don't have your tribe, you
don't have your wise counsel, and you need to make
a decision now. And to that, I say, this is
doing CPR without ever taking a class. It's very hard.
There's not a right or wrong answer to this, but
it's very difficult. So if you're listening and you're not
in the situation, find your tribe. And I would say,
(13:57):
above all, a good Bible believing, healthy church is your tribe.
That's that's what they're that's what that's how they function
in the many ways that a church functions. It's this,
it's your family.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
I think that's our responsibility is man too. That's part
of leadership and leading your family is wondering what you're
supposed to be doing. Well, you know, I don't have
an issue right now that that I have to address.
What should I be doing? Things like that? Yeah, looking
for things where you find your weaknesses. Where are you
weak right now? Fill those holes? Fill those gaps for
(14:29):
you and your family.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
If you want to know who to pick for your
wise counsel, you look at their fruits of their life. Yes,
for sure, not just because they're easy to talk to.
Are there good listeners? Are they're cool people? Or their
proximity that their next door neighbors to you look at
the fruits of their life and go, hey, brother, it
looks like you have We all have mistakes and we
(14:54):
all have a track record, but currently it looks like
you have. You have your You're on a good solid tree.
You have good fruits coming out from your life. Can
you help me with this situation? What do I do
and build a tribe in that way? Have you done time.
We got it. We let's do another question. Kyle. I
hope that's enough for you. Next question from David says,
(15:17):
Hello David from Ohio. Me and my fiance are getting
married in September. We're both born again Christians and wanted
your thoughts on birth control. Should Christians use it? Is
it a sin? If we Lord willing have children? I
want to give each child enough attention. That's what I'm
getting at, He says, thank you. Love to listen to
(15:39):
the podcast when I'm on the road as a trucker.
God bless all right, David, it's a good question. Then
we should be thinking through these things. My first answer is,
have your try, have your wise counsel around you. These
are great questions.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
We changed the name of the podcast to wise Counsel.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
Yeah, Granger Smith and the Wise Counsel. It's like the
band name. And by the way, I'm not really considered
wise counsel because I'm not with these people. I don't
know you. So my encouragement is to direct you towards what.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Really is why this shouldn't be the sole help.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
This is not the council. But David, I think it's
a great question and we should be We should be
thinking through all these things. You say you're a born
again Christian, and that's great. This is a this is
a form of your sanctification that's weighing on you on
theological things, things that matter in life, Having children, planning
for children matters, and so you should be questioning everything,
(16:41):
not just because that's the way it's done on social media,
not because that's the way mom and dad did it.
But am I thinking through this from a biblical worldview?
So the you know, the heart of man plans his way,
but the Lord establishes his steps, the Bible says, So
that doesn't mean that we don't plan just because the
Lord establishes steps. Or you could say another proverb, the
(17:04):
horse is made ready for the day of battle, but
the victory belongs to the Lord. That doesn't mean because
the victory belongs to the Lord. And because he establishes
our steps doesn't mean we don't plan our way, And
it doesn't mean we don't prepare the horse for the
day of battle. So if you're planning on having children, great,
If you plan on separating it out due to finances
(17:29):
or which I think is a great point, you make
giving enough attention to each child. I don't think there's
anything wrong with that, but you're also not The victory
is not up to you, and the steps that you
take is ultimately not up to you. If you're giving
all that up to a sovereign God and going Lord.
If it was up to me, I would have children
(17:52):
staggered every two years. But Lord is not up to me.
So I'm gonna plan like it is up to me.
But I'm gonna all always know and acknowledge you are
behind all of it, in your sovereignty, in your purpose.
I don't think there's anything wrong with that. And so
when it comes to birth control, I don't think there's
(18:12):
anything wrong. And there would be a gray line if
I started to name different kinds of contraceptives, there would
be a gray line on what is biblical or not.
For instance, the Catholics have long practiced the I don't
know the word. What's the feminine calendar? You know when
(18:33):
girls have a cycle, sure, and they have a calendar.
I don't know what the name is Catholics. Catholics know
this that there's a calendar and the woman's cycle is
on the calendar, and they could literally say we're safe
to have intercourse during these days and these days. This
(18:54):
is because Catholics essentially, hey forgive me, I don't know
a lot about this, but they don't believe in contraceptive, right. So,
but in following the calendar, that is a contra that is,
it is a form of s. That's where I'm talking
about the gray line is. So we're talking about condoms here,
we're talking about following a calendar. I think there's a
(19:15):
gray line. Now, you're a lot less likely with the condom,
with that contraceptive than you are with an accident with
the calendar. But but it's still a gray line here.
Here's where I'm gonna draw This is where this is
where I draw the line. The line is the what
do you call it? A border fashions? What do you
(19:36):
call that? What's that word that? The there's pills that
are that are cell killing plan B a border of fashions?
I think so something like that after you.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
After you would have sex, you would take a pill
to basically kill whatever may have happened here.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Yeah, So that that's where there's a hard line there
For me. I'm not gonna come down on you and say, hey,
you and your wife in your in your practical planning,
should never use this form of contraception unless it is
a board of fashion. I think that's the word. I'm sorry,
I don't know, but this is a cell killing poison.
(20:15):
I say, do not do that. I am personally against
tying tubes. I'm personally against what's the other sectory, the sectomy.
I think I think someone could make a biblical argument
against me, and I would be I could change my
stance on that so that this is not like, this
(20:38):
is not black and white. But but here's my point.
Here's my point of everything I'm saying. I think it's
very important as a family, as a as a you're
you're not married yet, you're getting married in September. All
these are great conversations to have before you're married and
before she has her first baby. Great conversations. Uh, conversations
(21:00):
about adoption are great conversations to have. And so as
long as you're walking through it, you're praying through it. Lord.
We we know that you say we plan our away,
but you establish our steps. And so Lord, we're going
to plan on staggering two years between babies. We're going
to plan on using using a form of contraceptive. So
(21:22):
that we could we could uh plan this out. But Lord,
will you crush this idea? If this is wrong or
if this is not within your will? Were you make
sanctify us in a way that just makes us so
uneasy and so uncomfortable with this. And you're in wise counsel,
You're in your church. You're in your small groups, so
your your your gatherings, you're with your pastor or your elders,
(21:45):
however you call it in your church, and you're you're
talking through this with them and saying where do we
draw the line on birth control? And your church may
have some kind of established idea of this. And if
you love the church and they're a they're they're a
healthy church and they have a certain encouragement and they
probably do on birth control, go with that. Not what
(22:06):
I say on this podcast. But the important thing and
the point is you're thinking through this with the biblical worldview,
and God will honor that as long as he gets
he gets the glory at the end, and you recognize
his sovereignty in it.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
I think the planning is wise. To not plan is reckless.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Yeah you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, So that your point is,
let's just not not the Lord brings babies, so let's
just not worry about it at all. That's the opposite
end of the spectrum. And I don't think that's wise either.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Right, right, And then you know, we do see that
where people just don't care. They're just out for themselves,
and you know, and they end up with babies that
were unplanned and they have to change change things in
their life. Not always a bad thing, obviously, but to
not if you're in a healthy relationship, you're getting married,
you're talking about having this conversation, you're planning and thinking
(22:59):
through stuff, just already on the right track.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
Yep. If you want to get a hold of me,
go to cameo dot com slash granger Smith and I
could send you a video message made right here on
my phone whatever you want me to say, Happy birthday,
happy anniversary. It's a great way for you and I
to stay in contact and to get someone a gift
that might seem to have everything. Hey, get him a
gift at cameo dot com slash Grangersmith. Okay, let's get
(23:21):
into this next question. If you have a question for me,
by the way, email podcast at grangersmith dot com and
the next question here, I just got off an airplane.
That's why I have an airplane voice. Is that a thing?
Have you heard people say that airplane voice?
Speaker 2 (23:33):
But it's also I mean, you're now in the business
of speaking for a living. This is what it's either
in front of a front of a crowd, you know, congregation,
what have you. It's here on the podcast, or it's
on after midnight mornings with Granger, all of it. That's
what you do now, So this is to be expected.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
All I do is talk, and that just leaves it
all in the hands of the Lord, because if the
Lord wants to shut me up, if he wants to
shut down everything I do, he just stops my voice
and voice and I am done seeing music.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
You still play guitar?
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Yeah, yeah, I am done if the Lord decides to
ship my voice off.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
The next question comes from Brendan. It says, Grandeur, I'm
a longtime fan of country music, even some of your stuff.
Oh thanks. I'm not the poster child for Christianity, but
one thing that I've tried to do is watch my language,
especially when in a crowd of people who don't. I
figure it's an easy thing to do, and sometimes in
(24:32):
the room might notice my conviction, and someone in the
room might notice my conviction and find a similar one
within themselves, or at least see that the profanity is
not adding anything to the conversation. Where I've been finding
an issue is when I'm working on the farm, often alone,
and I, for example, drop something on my foot. The
(24:55):
profanity slips out before I can even think to myself,
don't say that those words in the moment bother me.
So do you have any advice for a person who
can control cussing in a crowd but the words are
enough on the tip of the tongue that they come
out later, or a mindset you took when you began
(25:17):
seeing the issue with profanity that helped you. And does
this mean I can't listen to City Boy Stuck? That's
part of joke. I listened to a lot of podcasts
when driving. When I climb into the tractor, yours is
the first one I always choose. It takes the relaxation
of the tractor work and combines it with great reflection.
Keep it coming, Brendan See from Kansas, Hey, Brendan, Thanks buddy.
(25:40):
I appreciate the encouragement to me, and I appreciate the question.
I think it's a good question. And I also you
know what I like to say, I like to see
is when you say I'm not the poster child for Christianity. Same, yeah, same,
And I think that should always be our heart position,
(26:01):
the greed. It's like, Lord, I know what you ask
from me, and I see it in your word, and
yet again I have not lived up to your commands,
to the obedience that you have asked from me as
a result of the grace that you've given me through
your son. So amen, I'm not either the poster child
(26:25):
for Christianity. And I think that's a good heart position
for the rest of our lives. Brother, And it's also
a great question. Your question is basically, look, I'm I'm.
I can pretty much control myself around Mama and Grandma
when i'm talking, But when I'm out by myself and
I drop a hair on my foot, out comes the
(26:46):
F bomb. How do I fix this? And I think
it's a good question because Jesus was always after the heart.
He wasn't after the facade, he wasn't after what you
do in public. He was after all of you, which
includes what you do in private. In fact, when it
comes to sin. He was just as interested, if not more,
interested in what you do in private, because that truly
(27:09):
reveals who you are. And so I think it's a
great question to be thinking through. How do I control
myself in private, not just in public. And it's so
interesting when people say this is not you, Brendan, but
when people say things like, man, I just I can't
(27:31):
control what I say. I am what I am, and
I always think I have no filter. Yeah, I have
no filter. And I always think everyone has a filter.
You wouldn't go to the the superintendent of your school
district and draw F bombs. You probably wouldn't say it
around your grandma, depending on your grandma. If you went
to a cocktail dinner with the governor of your state
(27:55):
and you got five minutes with him, you probably wouldn't
drop the F bomb. So everyone has a somewhere. Some
are smaller than others, but everyone has one. So everyone
has the same filter in private. Here's here's where I
want to go, Brendan. Most likely, and I love that
(28:16):
you're thinking through it. That's great. Most likely in this scenario,
we need to look at what we're consuming in our lives,
because if we're consuming rated our movies all the time.
If we're listening to other podcasts with cussing all the time,
if we're listening to music with cussing all the time,
(28:36):
then it is second nature for us and it becomes
the default. So when we have a facade of filter
around Grandma and in public, but we what happens in
private reveals what's really in there. That's also a pretty good,
pretty good indication of what we're consuming. So I would
(28:58):
say begin Brendan to eradicate and pay close attention to
what you're paying attention to, whatever it is in your
life that you are focused on. Pay attention to what
that is that you're focused on. What do I mean
by that? I mean, I mean start taking accountability throughout
(29:18):
the day. If you're if your way of relaxing is
watching a movie that's that's got murder and shoot them
up and sex and adultery and cussing all in the movie,
and you say that's just the way I relax That
is penetrating your soul. These are things that are that
are slowly bleeding into your life, and so eradicate that,
(29:41):
start to pull out instead of saying, how do I
control myself in private? Grade er. I say, start to
control what you're consuming, and I think that that will
take care of itself. What do you have on this end?
Speaker 2 (29:58):
Pretty elementary and but it goes along with that. And
I want to have a nice yard. I don't know
anything about having a nice yard, like I don't know
all the mechanics of it. And keep it mowed, try
to keep it green. And then I found out that
you know, there are weeds in certain parts, but when
I'm mow, evidently I end up spreading the seed into
(30:19):
other parts of the yard that didn't have weeds in
it before. And then I'm trying to battle both of them, right,
And that's kind of how I see and how it's
I feel it's been in my life with cursing. Just
like you said, if you don't eradicate it in one
area what you listen to and what you consume, it's
going to spread to other parts of your life. And
if it becomes I mean, he's concerned with it when
(30:43):
he's when he drops a hammer. That's really cool that
you're like that, because if you weren't concerned with it,
then you'll just eventually not be concerned with it when
you're with friends and then it becomes normal there and
then you won't really be concerned with it when you're
with your parents or in a place where you don't
And then you say it and you realize you shouldn't
have said something in that instance or in that in
(31:05):
that uh, in that atmosphere, and you're like, where how
did this come about? Well, go back to how you
were feeling no longer feeling convicted when you said it alone,
you know, yeah, And it just continues to spread throughout
your life if you let it and you don't. It's
a weed, you know, yeah, And you don't take care
of it when it's small, it starts taking root in
(31:26):
other parts of your life.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
And Brennan, I've been there. I know exactly. That's that was.
That was a level of sanctification with me where I
was frustrated with things that came out of my mouth
when I it was a reflex, so a knee jerk.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
That's a conversation, you know. I said, I didn't want
to listen. I like these podcasts, but I wanted to
start weeding these out because the language and them were
just awful. It was guy a podcast, so guys just
cuss around each other. Well, guys don't have to cuss
around each other like that's it doesn't have to be
part of your life.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely, And and to the end to the question,
does this mean I can't listen to City Boy Stuck?
That's part of what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
The most important question right there's yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
I mean literally, that's what I'm saying. You're gonna hear,
you know, eventually I put that I will put out
a live record for the just the last concert that
I did, and you'll hear if there ever was a
cuss word, a D word, or an H word, all
of those were turned into heck heck no on is that?
(32:32):
Yeah that city boy stuck? Yeah, city boy stuck is
heck no on the live record, And even that that
was a form of sanctification for me to get there.
And then even beyond that, it's like I shouldn't even
say that, and so so yeah, it depends on what
you're consuming, what you're surrounding yourself with. And I'm sorry
I was that influence. I was a bad influence on
(32:54):
people as Earl Devils Junior and with the music, So
forgive me of that. I'm I'm trying to eradicate that
out of my life as well.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
They're close to the end of your year tour. When
I would go out with you, I would like what
you have on right now in ears. I would have
those in while I was shooting photos whatever I was doing,
and I would because when you have them thata close
to your ear drum, you hear the full word, not
what you are used to singing in the song. And
(33:24):
I was like, oh, he's changing the words the songs. Yeah, yeah,
there's a change. And he was a started notice on that.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
Then yeah. Next question comes from Travis says, Hey, hope
you're having I hope it's going I hope your day
is going well. Sorry. I found your podcast a few
months ago during some long hours at work, and it
made me think about God, and that makes me think
about my old roommate. I'm glad, first of all. On
the side note, I'm glad that I'll make you think
(33:52):
of God. Sorry airplane voice. Have I said that yet?
I found his listing on Facebook, but of looking for
a renter in a room I had to move for
school and couldn't find anything I could afford. I moved
in with him and had a great time with him
and his fiance. I proposed to my now wife in
that house and then moved out a few months later.
(34:14):
We would hang out from time to time. Then one
Thursday in December, we were supposed to hang out. I
had a garage with a dartboard. We started a game,
a game we never got to finish. I texted him
a few times that day to make sure he was
still up to hang out. No response. A few hours later,
he texted or so I thought it was his wife.
He had taken his life that day. Around one year,
(34:38):
around the one year mark, I sent a Facebook message
to his widow, but it never went through. My wife
was able to message her just fine. I'm not sure
if this is a message from God or not. He
was a very religious person. Christmas was his favorite time
of year. Now for my question, should I keep trying
to reach out to the widow of my friend or
(35:00):
leave it? Since since the first time the message didn't
go through, I've driven by the house a few times
and it doesn't look to be kept up. I think
she moved back to her parents' house. They are all
of us are in our early twenties. Thanks in advanced
Travis okay, tough situation, Travis, let me kind of dive in.
(35:23):
There's this is multi layered, so let me dive in
as if we're sitting in the caboat truck. I'm gonna
start with you found my podcast a few months ago
and it made you think about God. That's interesting to me.
Let's come back to it. Secondly, you got a buddy
(35:46):
from Facebook because of the room for rent. It wasn't
a great buddy, it was just a good acquaintance. Right.
Speaker 2 (35:57):
Sounds like they did a lot of life together.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
They did some life together. Yeah. The message to the
widow that didn't go through, is this a message from
God or No? God's not going to communicate through a
failed Facebook message. God is sovereign over everything, including Facebook messages.
So if God didn't want the message to go through,
he will do it or not. That's not a question.
(36:21):
The question is was God trying to send you a
cryptic message through the mess through the Facebook message not
going through that? No, the Bible doesn't speak in terms
of God knowing us in that way or speaking to
us that way. He speaks to us in one way,
and that is through the Son, the Word of God,
the Son made flesh, Jesus through the Bible. We have
(36:44):
sixty six books God Inspired, written by over forty different
authors over the course of fifteen hundred years, revealing the
truth of who God is and how He has revealed
himself to us to reconcile us to himself, to bring
us to himself through his on Jesus. That's the way
he communicates to you, not through a failed Facebook message.
(37:05):
That's a cryptic. Should I know if this is God
trying to say something like we're in the movie American Treasure.
What's that movie treasure? The National Treasure? It's not National Treasure.
Speaker 2 (37:22):
Sorry, I wasn't help there.
Speaker 1 (37:24):
Okay, So we've established that, and then let's look into
he was a very religious person. Christmas was his famous
favorite time of year. That's not really part of this topic.
I'll lay off that. Should you keep reaching out to
the widow or be very careful because she's a widow,
she's single, and you're married, so you have to be
(37:47):
careful with that dynamic. I love that she is reaching
your wife is reaching out. It's a great thing, but
you don't want to send them a signal that you
are reaching out privately to a widow. That is vulnerable
to a very nice man that just wants to help.
That's a bad situation. Let's stay clear of that. You've
(38:08):
been up by the house, it looks like it needs
to be kept up. Work through your wife in that.
Speaker 2 (38:12):
It's great.
Speaker 1 (38:13):
It's a biblical command, of course to take care of
widows and orphans. But make sure you're doing this in
a responsible way. I e. Through your wife and have
her reach out and say, hey, I saw that the
house has some weeds. Do you mind if I send
my husband over there. He's got a weed eater and
he'd be happy to take care of it. And that way,
(38:34):
you're protecting your own marriage through a potential temptation as
simple as that. You don't have to go any further
than that. And she's in her early twenties, most likely
she will be remarried. I don't say that with trying
to be without sensitivity to the situation, but this typically
typically what's going to happen is she'll re marry. As
(38:55):
difficult as this situation is, and she's going to be okay,
very very I mean unbelievably difficult situations. So I'm not
trying to be insensitive, but this is different. If she's
she's seventy years old and she's a widow and she
doesn't have a family, and she doesn't have That's when
(39:16):
you go over and you go, ma'am, I'd like to
like to start doing your grass, to take care of
your grass, if that's okay, And maybe I can come
and clean some of this stuff off your front porch.
That's a different situation then she's early twenties, yes, and
you're going, is there anything I can help you with? Right? Okay? Yeah,
I agreed. I think the most important part of this
(39:38):
entire email is the first sentence. I found her podcast
a few months ago, and it made me think about God.
I think, if anything, Travis, I want to use this
as an opportunity, not for the grieving widow, not for
the guilt that you may have. There's always a weird
(40:00):
guilt around suicide. In fact, yesterday I was speaking at
a church and a man came up to me afterward
and he said that his dad just committed suicide two
months ago. And he said, I'm having trouble grieving and
I don't know why, and I'm no grief book seems
(40:22):
to matter to me, No advice anyone gives me seems
to matter to me, And I said, I said, that's
because suicide it carries a different weight to it, because
it carries a sinister guilt into all the people that
knew that person, thinking could I have done more? It's
not like a cancer, it's not like a heart attack,
(40:43):
it's not like a car accident. This is something that
everyone around the suicide starts questioning themselves. Oh, you think
about the last conversation you had, You think about the
last time you're with him? Should think about it? Should
I see have seen it? Should I have reported it?
Should I have done more? Everyone thinks that that's different
than cancer. So, Travis, this is a little bit of
(41:06):
what's going on with you. You're thinking, Man, that dart game
I texted him no response? Should I have texted him
an hour earlier? Should I have scheduled that dark game
the day before? If I had, would this have been different?
So recognize that this is part of your struggle and
(41:26):
go ahead, Well.
Speaker 2 (41:27):
No, you've already touched on it. But man, that you
saying that's part of your struggle to then latch onto
someone of the opposite sex, to go, oh, we're struggling
with the same thing. Is very, very, very dangerous. So
if you think that there was a man, and I
know there's not, but if you think there was a
message from God and not getting that that message through
(41:48):
to her on Facebook, I would just consider it protection
and move on.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
That's great.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
Just you were protected. You made a rash decision and
shot her a private message that was protection that it
didn't go through.
Speaker 1 (42:01):
I think that's great. I think it's great. It's not
there's a difference between God protecting you and God sending
you a crypt a cryptic message through the message not
going through like a man saying let it go. And
then let's start thinking about why my podcast makes you
think about God. And I'm very grateful that the Lord
(42:23):
could possibly use this podcast for someone to so that
he might draw someone to himself. If I'm that if
this podcast the Lord uses this podcast as a conduit
for that man, that's amazing and so encouraging. But I
want to follow up on that and say, Travis, I
(42:44):
would I would think about how God does reveal himself
because if you're if you're open to the consideration that
God might message you, send a cryptic message through Facebook
to you, I would consider what Christians know to be
true in the way that God has revealed himself, and
(43:06):
that is through the Bible. And we spoke a little
bit about that. But then I would I would consider
why God has revealed himself in the Bible, and what
the message of that Bible is. And truly the message
of that Bible is that you cannot be good enough
for Him. That you could, you could not make up
for the sin that has separated you from God, which
(43:31):
is a rebellion of God, who created the world and
it was good, and he created man in his own
image and it was good. And then man rebelled against
him in the garden, instantly wanting to be God himself
in a way, and through that we have inherited that sin,
and all of us have followed suit with our original
(43:55):
father Adam. And you could testify this to yourself. I can't.
You can't at and Travis, you can to. Thinking back
to have you rebelled against Gott? Have you used yourself
in a self centered, controlling way where you become your
own God, in charge of your own salvation, in charge
of your own destiny. The answer is always to that, yes,
(44:17):
we all have. And so you think, well, what do
I do to make up for this? How do I
fix this problem? And the truth is that that would
be like a murderer sitting in the courtroom saying, Judge,
I'm really sorry I murdered. I committed a huge crime,
and I want to tell you I've learned my lesson
(44:40):
and I want to do better. How could I do it?
And the judge says, I don't really care what you
say about who you are now and that you've changed.
In order for me to be just, in order for
me to be a good judge, I have to carry
out my punishment. And so that's a major problem with humans,
and that steff to God. But God knowing this, knowing
(45:02):
that we couldn't make our way to him. The story
of the Bible literally is that God came to us.
He condescended himself, the creator of the universe, to become man,
to come into his own universe that he created, to
live the perfect life, to be the example of what
(45:24):
atom should have been, the original atom that failed. God
comes in the form of man as Jesus to be
the second atom, to be the perfect one, who then
went to the cross and died as a sacrifice, the
ultimate sacrifice of all that punishment I said that the
judge gives to the murder. Jesus takes that punishment on himself.
(45:46):
He takes the sin of the world, all of it,
onto himself from the wrath of God, the punishment that
the just judge has to still punish. So now back
to the scenario of the murder, he goes, Judge, what
can I do? Judge gets a notice and he goes, Actually,
a man has stepped in your place and taking your
punishment on himself. So now I'm just to set you free.
(46:09):
And now that you're free, you live a life of
gratitude in obedience to the one that sets you free.
That's what the Bible says Jesus did for us. And
so I want you to explore this idea that the
Bible says. And if God communicates with us in this way,
and there is only one way that he made for
us to be able to know him and to know
(46:29):
what he wants, to know what he loves, to know
what he hates. If there is only one way the Bible,
then then then there must be a need for you
to read it like an instruction manual for your own life.
And then there must be a community called the church
that could surround you and help carry you through situations
like this, this Facebook thing, Travis. That's my encouragement to you.
(46:53):
You have anything to add to that encouragement before. I
appreciate you guys, all of y'all for emailing and if
you want to yeah, if you want to keep it coming,
shoot a message to podcast at grangersmith dot com and
like always, we'll see you next Monday. Thanks for joining
me on the Grangersmith podcast. I appreciate all of you guys.
(47:13):
You could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes.
If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel, hit that
little like button and notification spell so that you never
miss anytime I upload a video. Yigi
Host
Granger Smith
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