No. 75: Who is Sweet Daddy Grace - The Man, The Myth, The Legend w/Marcy DePina. PART TWO. - Hand Me My Purse.

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hand Me My Purse is a production of iHeart Podcasts,
Friends and Ken on Grace Jones Internet. I've read this
and it is actually a quote from our wonderful Auntie
Tony Morrison. Actually, but it was not something that I
wanted to read for that we Gotta Do Better segment.

(00:21):
I wanted to read it for the opening of the show.
I wanted to share it at the top of the show,
just to put it on your mind and have it
in the back of your mind. And it says, at
some point in life, the world's beauty becomes enough. You
don't need to photograph, paint, or even remember it. It

(00:46):
is enough. And that was from Auntie Tony Morrison. And
you know, I just thought about all the wonderful experiences
that I have had over my life and even just
in the past year. And I take a lot of pictures,
and you know, we live in the day and age
where we take a lot of pictures, and we share

(01:06):
a lot of pictures, but sometimes just being in the
moment and experienceing the world's beauty and the beauty of
the moment and the beauty of the memory that you
may share with somebody.

Speaker 2 (01:25):
It's enough. You don't have to record it or shared
in your stories.

Speaker 1 (01:33):
You know, experiencing it is enough even if you don't
remember it, because I ran into that today where I
just couldn't remember some things about an experience that.

Speaker 2 (01:45):
I had, but I know I had it.

Speaker 1 (01:48):
And if someone else experiences it with you, having them
to recount those memories or to share those memories with you,
sometimes it can jog your memory and sometimes you won't
remember it at all. But because of the way they
share the story, it's almost like you can relive it
all over again and create the memory all over again.

(02:11):
So I'm going to read it to you, guys one
more time. I just think it's really, really beautiful what
she says. She says, at some point in life, the
world's beauty becomes enough. You don't need to photograph, paint,
or even remember it. It is enough. Sometimes just let
it be enough, guys. Sometimes just let the memory, the experience,

(02:33):
the beauty of the moment, the beauty of the world,
the beauty that you encounter. Just let it be enough
and leave it there and just hold on to the memory.

(03:05):
I can't see the path that. Okay, what's up, y'all.
Welcome to Hanidmy My purse the podcast. I am Mimi Walker,
and I will be your forever host each and every
single time you tune into this podcast. So go ahead
and get yourself comfortable. Get a glass of your favorite beverage,
whether that's a cherry Cooke zero that's been in the

(03:26):
freezer so it kind of has that like slush in it. God,
I love that, God of Mercy.

Speaker 2 (03:33):
I love that.

Speaker 1 (03:38):
Some moonshine, to be more specific, some apple pie moonshine.
Let me just tell you I've had it before and
it's quite fucking delicious, or a tasty, delicious ice cold
moscow mule. I love a good moscow mule, honey, and

(04:00):
let me tell you that much. Whatever it is, get it,
go l like yourself a candle, some incense, or burn
some sage and just get ready to chill out and
have yourself a good time. What's up, friends, and can

(04:22):
it's MEMI resident Auntie Supreme. Here, I hand me my
purse and today I'm sipping on some alkaline water. It's
room temperature because I need to hydrate, and I can
tell that I am still. I think I told you
guys that I have a personal trainer now and we
did this whole body scan thing, and it told me

(04:43):
that I was dehydrated. And that was in August, and
I can tell no, I got the scan thing, I
want to say, in October, the beginning of October, and
I can tell that I am still in a state
of dehydration because my skin is hella dry. Not the
skin on my face, but the skin on my body

(05:07):
is pretty dry, even after I moisturize it. And I mean,
don't get me wrong, the seasonal weather is definitely shifting
because it's cold out outside, Like it's cold as shit
outside today. Yesterday it was cold, today it wasn't as hot.
But lately it's been I mean late as cold. But
lately it's been really chilly, I mean like brisk, baby

(05:27):
Like in the morning, I get up and go to
the car and it's like twenty five degrees. Ain't nobody
got time for that. I don't like that, Okay, most
of other stuff. I'm getting tired of the cold. Like
it's getting to be a bit much. I mean I
like it. I don't like it at all. The skin
on my feet is getting ridiculously dry. And here's where
the real issue comes in for me. My lips are

(05:50):
starting to feel a little chappalicious. And one thing about
Mimi Walker is that she has soft lips. Okay, It's
like it's like my superpower, and they ain't flaky and
they ain't chappy. And lately my lips have been feeling
a little chapped and I don't like it. So I'm

(06:11):
about to guzzle this. Sixty four hours is of alkaline
water down. Baby, I'm gonna take it down because Cis
does not want to be ashy and water is a
healing source. It is a healing bomb. So I'm just
gonna go ahead and drink that down. So I'm not
out here looking like a cactus, okay, or the ground

(06:35):
in the Sahara desert, because I deserve to be hydrated.
Hydrates yourself, babe, go ahead and do that. Oh yeah,
So friends in Him. For today's gym, I chose a
song that is solely based on an experience that I

(06:57):
had a couple of hours ago. And this evening I
went to see Renaissance, the film by Beyonce, and I,
you know, I think that if I'm not already a
beehive convert, I think I'm.

Speaker 2 (07:16):
On my way.

Speaker 1 (07:17):
And I simply adore Beyonce and her work ethic and
her music.

Speaker 2 (07:26):
Like I'm just.

Speaker 1 (07:28):
I don't know, like just I like her a lot.
I think that she is amazing. I love to watch
her perform. I'm sad that Renaissance was the first concert
of hers that I had gone to, especially because I
love live performances and I like eat them up. But
it's okay because I'm here now. And so I went

(07:50):
to see it, and I said, so, I was definitely
singing in the theater. I mean, everybody in there was jamming.
But my favorite song from that album is called Heated,
and so that's your jam today. It's Beyonce song Heated.
You know it's going to be in the show notes.
Let me just tell you that the song is life,

(08:13):
particularly the end when it's like I don't know if
you want to call it a bridge, but it's everything.
I don't want to sing it. I don't want to
tell you what it says, but you'll know it because
it's kind of when she goes off and I'm here

(08:34):
for it. And it took me a minute to get
it down because I like to sing a song, Honey,
I want to sing the song. I want to know
the words I grew up in the era I'm Generation X.
Shout out to gen X. I grew up in an
era where when you wanted to learn the lyrics of
a song, you had to record it from the radio first,

(08:55):
unless you had the cassette of the song, but you
had to record from the radio, and then you had
to rewind it and play it, and rewind it and
play it until you were able to write all of
the lyrics down. And then by the time you finish
writing the lyrics down of the song, before you knew it,
you memorized it because you had been writing it for

(09:16):
five hours and it's only a two minute song. But anyway,
the song is heated and it's everything. So I want
you to go and listen to it. Don't really want
to do a lot of talking about it, because you know,
I want you to just experience it for yourself. But
it's a dope fucking song, Like if you don't get
pumped up listening to it, and it's not deep, it's nothing, heavy,

(09:39):
it's nothing.

Speaker 2 (09:40):
It's not it's so good though.

Speaker 3 (09:45):
Like this like this, no no.

Speaker 1 (10:03):
And if you get a chance to go, even if
you went to the actual Renaissance tour, but if you
get a chance to go see Renaissance to film in theaters,
do that for yourself.

Speaker 2 (10:17):
It's so fucking good. It was so good.

Speaker 1 (10:19):
I'm probably gonna go see it again, maybe like two times,
because I just had a good time, like reliving that
experience of going to the concert and seeing the show
actual actually in person, but seeing it there. It was
really amazing because you got to see things that you
may not have seen at your show. She explains a lot,

(10:44):
she talks a lot about her process. It was just
really good. And just shout out to you, Beyonce Knowles Carter.

Speaker 4 (11:14):
We were created through slavery, and.

Speaker 1 (11:16):
That's so interesting that you say that. And I didn't
expect this conversation to take this turn. But I wonder
sometimes how like mainland African nations would view or how
they view Cape Verdeans if they are welcoming the same

(11:37):
way that the Portuguese are not as welcoming. Are they
as welcoming, because let's just take the band aid off.
Sometimes there are some Africans that are not as welcoming
to African Americans when it comes to understanding that essentially
like we are one. It's like, no, you're not you
weren't born here, You're not African, you know. And I

(11:59):
get that I experience is different. And I get that
even for Caribbean people, they feel like they can't identify
with the Black American experience because even their experience with
slavery is different. But I wonder why is that like
with dealing with like mainland or you know, people from
the continent that are not from an island. And I

(12:20):
wonder if people from Madagascar experienced the same thing.

Speaker 4 (12:23):
I don't know. That's a good question about Madagascar. I
don't know about that. I don't know too many people
from Madaga.

Speaker 2 (12:28):
I don't know anybody Fromican, Yeah.

Speaker 4 (12:30):
But I know some other islanders, like I know some
people from Reunion Islands, and also from Mayachts, which is
part of oh, what's the name Comoros Islands? Okay, and
then Sound to me and Principe, which are really small,
they're small islands. I think it depends, you know, I think.

Speaker 1 (12:50):
It really don't know. Those are all parts of Africa.
Just read a book, do a little geological learning for yourself.
Africa is not just everything that you can visually see
on a map.

Speaker 4 (13:03):
Yeah, that's so true. I think that's What's I find
sort of fascinating to the way that Africa is perceived
by people both within and outside of it is that
outside of Africa, people sent like, oh Africa, what you
just said, Like people see it as this one thing,
and it's not homogenous.

Speaker 2 (13:23):
On a country. They see it as a country. It's not.
It's a continent.

Speaker 4 (13:27):
It's a continent with fifty four four countries. Actually, yeah,
and they're all different, and even within those countries there's
different types of people within, Like if you go to Morocco,
there are indigenous Moroccan people who look you know, they're
they're Amaza people and they look sort of Asiatic, you
know what I mean. And they have straight hair because

(13:47):
they're people who dwell in the desert, you know, and
their landscape, their body, their phenotype has adapted based on
their environmental condition.

Speaker 2 (13:56):
People do not come on.

Speaker 4 (13:57):
They don't get it. They don't get as it.

Speaker 1 (13:59):
Shut to Marcie Depeina for being smart, like people don't
understand that. People don't And it reminds me of the
sand people of like southern Africa, who they look extremely
Chinese and they look specifically Chinese.

Speaker 2 (14:18):
Or like Mongolians. Their eyes are very tight.

Speaker 1 (14:20):
They're very light with yellow undertones, but their hair is
as kinky as the day is long. Their lips are big,
their noses are big, and if you put them next
to Chinese people who live in like mountains, they look
like twins.

Speaker 4 (14:37):
But there you have it, right. I think that's like people.

Speaker 1 (14:39):
Just think that all Africans look like whatever mainstream American
media has told us that Africans look like, and it
does not look like.

Speaker 2 (14:48):
It doesn't work like that.

Speaker 4 (14:49):
It doesn't, it doesn't. And so I think, you know,
going back to your question, I think that oftentimes when
I interact with people from other African nations, there is
a sense of there's a kindred spirit thing that happens there,
and there's also an understanding of the diversity of the
continent of Africa. So sometimes people will be like, oh,

(15:11):
you're African, and then when I tell them I'm Cape
Verdie and they're like, oh okay, they immediately understand. They're like, oh, okay,
I understand that you're a creole person like you might
even find in Liberia or Sierra Leone or other places,
and certainly South Africa.

Speaker 2 (15:25):
You have a lot of mixtures.

Speaker 4 (15:27):
But you know that as soon as people understand the context,
they're like, oh, okay, I get it. But there are
definitely cultural there's a cultural continuity there, and there's a
certain understanding there that I pretty much always have felt.
There's an a there's definitely like a recognition like oh okay.

Speaker 2 (15:49):
You're African your Familyeah.

Speaker 4 (15:54):
But that's not to say that there isn't. As I
told you, you know, with what the Portuguese did with
colonial administrators, there is definitely some resentment and there's definitely
especially you know, from the old school days, there's definitely
ways in which people felt maybe Capaved wasn't a team player,
you know what I'm saying, like that kind of thing,
or you know, other Portuguese colonies, you know, being pitted

(16:18):
against each other really. But yeah, but when the revolution
happened in the seventies, that really changed all of that
because of people like Augustino Nato, who was the leader
in Angola, and even Fidel Castro.

Speaker 2 (16:32):
They it's the take of our.

Speaker 4 (16:41):
Exactly. No, It's true though. They they went over to
Angola and they trained and they trained with the male
Charcaba and Augustino Nato and they were all together and
so this idea of this Pan African identity and then
specifically this idea of the former you know, Portuguese colonies,
which at the time were Portuguese speaking nations, then necessity

(17:01):
to ban together and how each played their own role.
So cape Verdians having that closeness to Portuguese Portuguese officials
right specific specifically was beneficial when it came to the
revolution because they were there was a role to be
played there, and you know cap Verdians played it.

Speaker 2 (17:21):
What about Brazil.

Speaker 4 (17:25):
Brazil is interesting.

Speaker 1 (17:26):
They're like their own, Yeah, their own thing, they got
their own they got their.

Speaker 4 (17:31):
Own thing going on. But there's definitely a closeness with
Brazilians and cape Verdians. One of the islands, one of
our islands, Samvicent, is known for its carnival, so they
call that little Brazil like they have a huge carnival.
They really love Brazilian culture. So there's a good connection there.
But I was laughing too because every time Brazilians, every
time I've ever been in Cupovid and Brazilians are there,

(17:52):
they love we are in Africa, like, they love it
so much. They love Couplevid because for them it's that
entry point for them where they feel that sense of belonging.
I get it, and they're like, Okay, you guys are
like us. You have this mixture of things going on,
but you still get to be recognized as legitimately being African.

Speaker 2 (18:10):
Yeah. I think that's the thing that.

Speaker 1 (18:14):
As a Black American, that's the thing that so many
of us are always looking for and sometimes.

Speaker 2 (18:23):
Like it's hard to get.

Speaker 1 (18:24):
And I think that one time I had or several times,
and we've actually become friends.

Speaker 2 (18:30):
But I had.

Speaker 1 (18:30):
The president and one of the founders of African Ancestry
on my show shout out to doctor Gina Page, and
we talked about that and how like that is like
a help very helpful tool and like an entry point,
like you said, or doorway into like getting closer because

(18:55):
for Black Americans, like we're like, okay, so where.

Speaker 2 (18:58):
Do we belong? How do we fit in to the puzzle?

Speaker 1 (19:01):
And I know that when I went to Senegal, when
that was when I first really learned about Cape Verde.
When I went to Senegale, I was about twenty four,
and like it's like when you get when you touch down,
when your foot steps off of the last step on
the plane, it's like something happens yes, and you're like,

(19:21):
not even a sense of saying like I'm home, but like,
something about this feels familiar, but I don't know what
it is like. I couldn't figure out what it was.
Something about it feels like genetically or in my bones. Yes,
something feels familiar, but I don't know what it is.

Speaker 4 (19:38):
I think it's everything. I think it's like. And I've
experienced this every African country I've been to, and I've
been south, you know, west. I've never been to the
East side of Africa yet, but I've been to Morocco,
I've been to Senegal, Gambia, Angola, and Cabo verd So
not that many places, but enough that it's a little
bit diverse. And I felt the same thing single place

(20:00):
I went, no matter how different they are. There was
the smell. Something about the smell, the colors, the landscape,
the sort of dry could be red, could be like
a brown color. You know that I love Senegal. Soon
that's like the majority of my DNA is from Senegal.

Speaker 2 (20:23):
Yeah, well that would make sense.

Speaker 1 (20:24):
Yeah, allowed to make so much sense for Cape Verdeans
to have a lot of Senegalesea.

Speaker 4 (20:33):
It's beautiful there and complicated. You know and complicated in
a in a kind of beautiful way. Yeah, it's so funny.
You know. You asked me that question about Africa how
other Africans receive Cape Verdians, and it brought me to
this memory. As soon as I said, I was like, oh,
this is so funny. Nigerians are funny. Though, Nigerians are funny,

(20:54):
especially people over here. I I've never been called white
girls so many times in my life and around this
a group of Nigerians were kept being like, oh, the
white girl. And I'm like, I'm not white, and they're
like it's okay.

Speaker 2 (21:08):
I'm like, no, it's not.

Speaker 4 (21:10):
You're pretty and I'm like, what what are you talking about?
And they're like, we're not trying to say we understand
the ear Cape Verdian, we understand that you're African. We
get that. We're talking about your skin color. Look at
your skin look at my skin color. You're white. And
I'm like, okay, I'm not and I don't like it.
But they almost said it to this one particular guy.

(21:31):
He said it to me just a couple of months ago.
It was almost like he was trying to compliment me. Well,
they probably were, okay, that's interesting, but keep it.

Speaker 2 (21:38):
I don't want that. You can have that save that. Well.

Speaker 4 (21:43):
People don't understand too, you know, people who do not
grow up in the United States do not understand the
racial stratifications and what that could potentially mean, right, absolutely,
and that that could be like something painful.

Speaker 1 (21:56):
Yeah, And I think that also he may not understand
because you know, like they do a lot of bleaching,
you know, too light in their skin, so.

Speaker 2 (22:06):
They would think that you yes, yes, they.

Speaker 1 (22:09):
Do a lot of bleaching, too light in their skin,
so they would probably think, like, what is wrong with you?
Like this isn't a bad thing we're saying, you know,
you have white skin. I was actually with a very
good friend of mine. She is Lebanese, she's Muslim, and
we were in Seattle and she is probably she's in between.

Speaker 2 (22:27):
I love their color, right, she's in between. She's pretty fair.

Speaker 1 (22:31):
She has dark hair, but you never see it because
she's covered, right, But she has very dark eyebrows, very
thick eyebrows. We were in Seattle and this Asian woman,
I don't know, you know what country she was from,
walked up to her. Okay, now, this woman is like
a owner of like a store We were in the market,
the big Seattle market.

Speaker 2 (22:53):
What's it called the.

Speaker 1 (22:55):
Market in Seattle where they throw the fish and they
have a pike.

Speaker 2 (22:58):
We were in Pipe Place and.

Speaker 1 (23:01):
Pipe Market, and so we went into this T shirt
shop because she wanted to get some shirts for her kids,
and the Asian woman walked up to her put her
hands on her face.

Speaker 2 (23:14):
I was like, oh, we're.

Speaker 4 (23:14):
About to fight this lady.

Speaker 1 (23:16):
I said, oh, we about to fight this lady because
you do not touch people's face.

Speaker 2 (23:20):
She don't touch.

Speaker 1 (23:21):
She said, you're so beautiful your skin it's so white.
When I tell you, she was pissed. I said, are
you more mad that she tells? You're more mad that
she called? She said you look white and.

Speaker 2 (23:32):
She was like, I am not white. I was like,
a sys, I didn't say that. I was like, maybe
she meant compared to me, Like I don't know. She said, Oh,
your skin is so white. It's so beautiful.

Speaker 4 (23:42):
I love it.

Speaker 1 (23:43):
And I'm just thinking to myself, ma'am, you're not that much.
You're not darker than her, like you guys are running
a race together. But she was so offended. But it
really just like reminded me, like that is what people
are striving for to be very, very very fit.

Speaker 4 (24:00):
Yeah, which is interesting.

Speaker 2 (24:02):
Yeah, not me.

Speaker 1 (24:03):
I use my foundation's usually like two shades darker than me.

Speaker 4 (24:07):
Yeah. I like on color, I you know, obviously because
I'm light especially and my father is not.

Speaker 2 (24:13):
So like I have brown bro.

Speaker 4 (24:14):
Yeah, and I have you know, in my family, I
have the whole rainbow spectrum. But I'm always I'm like,
dang man, I'm like yellow. Yeah. My mom tells me
in the winter gray, you turned gray in the winter.

Speaker 1 (24:25):
I'm like, thanks for the this thing on the internet
that said winter is coming. I feel sorry for my
life game.

Speaker 4 (24:31):
Yes, that's me. I'm that person. Feel sorry for me.

Speaker 2 (24:34):
Well, I mean everybody gets lighter in the winter.

Speaker 4 (24:36):
Yeah. And if I was in my natural habitat, I
would not.

Speaker 1 (24:39):
I would be brown, I would be you would you
would be brown and toasted?

Speaker 2 (24:43):
You would? You deserve that? I do. I want that
for you.

Speaker 4 (24:45):
Thank you.

Speaker 2 (24:46):
But okay, back to Sweet Daddy Grace.

Speaker 1 (24:49):
So I heard about Sweet Daddy Grace from my aunt
Jackie May she rest in Paradise years ago.

Speaker 2 (24:55):
We were I don't even think I was driving at
the time.

Speaker 1 (24:58):
So I had to just have I have just come
back from California or I don't know why, but I
was in her car and we were driving up Liberty
Road in Baltimore City and there was this church and
it had these lions on the front. And I remember
saying on Jackie, what is this church with these lions?

Speaker 2 (25:15):
Like what is that?

Speaker 1 (25:16):
And she said that's sweet Daddy Grace or that's Daddy
Grace's church.

Speaker 2 (25:19):
And I was like who is that? And she was
like chall or girl.

Speaker 1 (25:23):
He was a preacher and he had this hair and
these long fingernails, and he would have these events with
tents and he would serve all this food and I
was like, okay.

Speaker 2 (25:35):
I kind of put it to the back of my head.
I didn't think about it again. Daddy Grace came up again.

Speaker 1 (25:39):
They were talking about him again, my aunt Jackie and
some other elder in my family, and I would hear
her talking about him, and I'm like, who is this man?
And I left it alone. Then, when I started to
do my own research about like my mother's biological fathers
ancestry during COVID, my grandfather passed away in January of

(26:02):
twenty twenty, and I took a deep nosedive into like
ancestry because I was like, this is a great distraction,
And so I ended up finding my mother's biological brother.
My mother had no idea who her had no idea
who her biological father was.

Speaker 2 (26:18):
She may have heard his name before, but she didn't know.

Speaker 1 (26:21):
My great aunt, my maternal grandmother's sister, was a spicy
aunt and she was messy. And she said one day
to me when I was a little girl, so and
so is not even your grandfather. Your grandfather's name is
blank blank, and he is from Newport News and his
mother's name is Blanche. I said, well, all right, I'm ten,

(26:45):
I don't really care. I'm going outside. Then fast forward
to her saying it to me again when I first
came back from California, I was about eighteen, and I
wrote it down cause I'm like, I'm gonna use this,
this is gonna be I'm gonna need this later on.

Speaker 2 (26:59):
So I found out.

Speaker 1 (27:03):
I ended up going to Newport News during the pandemic
because I was like, I gotta get out of this house.

Speaker 2 (27:08):
I need to find something to do.

Speaker 1 (27:09):
So I went on a road trip to Virginia Beach
and then on the way back, I stopped in Hampton
and Newport News because I started doing research, and I
knew that's where my ancestors were from.

Speaker 2 (27:19):
And I was like, okay.

Speaker 1 (27:20):
So I looked up like as many grave sites as
I could find, and I went to all of them.
I went to the liquor store. I bought all these
little miniatures of white rum. I went to visit all
of the grave sites that I could find. One I
couldn't find the markers, but I knew like five of
my ancestors were buried there. So I kind of just
walked around. You couldn't really see the markers, so I

(27:42):
just did my own little you know. I had a
little ritual situation going.

Speaker 2 (27:45):
On, and I stopped.

Speaker 1 (27:49):
I saw this very old black man just sitting in
this doorway.

Speaker 2 (27:54):
It was crazy how this happened, sitting in this doorway.
I took his picture.

Speaker 1 (27:59):
I was dry, and I said, you know what, I
bet this man knows something about this town, because he
was like eighty five, almost ninety years old. I pulled
up in my black jedd at the time, and I
said hi, and I said, I'm looking for information about
so and so. And he was like, I don't really
know them, he said, but you know what they probably went.
She probably because I asked about my Grandma Blanche. She

(28:21):
probably went to the church up there on whatever the
street is. He said, you can't miss it. You'll see
it when you go. So I go and I look
for the church. I went to the different houses where
my ancestors had lived, looked at them and prayed. When
I got to houses whatever, pull out a little liquor,
go and buy my business. I went to the James
River at the end of the street, you know, you know.

(28:44):
And so then I drive to this church. And when
I pull up, I was like, damn, this a nice church.
I did not make the correlation with the lions at all.
Pull up big gold lions on the church. I was like,
this is fancy. Damask got a lot of money here.
And then I said, you know what, I'm by myself

(29:04):
and the area is a little seedy, you know, it's
projects a lot of places like and I'm alone, so
and it's this is in my area and I'm driving
around in a black jedd with tiny windows. I was like, yeah,
the next time I come, I'm going to have to
come with somebody else in a less assuming car. But
I want to come back, and I want to go

(29:25):
to the church and see if they have any information.
The reason it was interesting that the older man told
me about this church because that is the church where
my great grandmother was had her funeral. When Marcy and
I finally talked and I listened to it might have

(29:45):
been episode four or five. She talked about a church
in Newport News that Daddy Grace, that was one of
the tell me the name of the.

Speaker 4 (29:53):
Church, United House to prayer for all people.

Speaker 1 (29:56):
Yes, you're noted how to prayer for all people. I
went back and I looked at the pic that I
took when we had the conversation.

Speaker 2 (30:02):
I remembered the lions.

Speaker 1 (30:04):
Once we made the correlation, I was like, the lions
are on the church on Liberty Road.

Speaker 2 (30:07):
They're on this church here.

Speaker 1 (30:09):
Then I looked for the obituary that said where Grandma
Blanche's funeral was, and I was like, oh boom. I
asked my uncle, I said, did she belong to that church?
He said no, He said he had gone to church
with her before, but it wasn't that church because he
grew up in Newport News. But she had her funeral there,
probably because it was fancy looking, right, She had her

(30:30):
funeral there. And I was like, yeah, this is too
much of a coincidence. That's never a coincidence because there's
no such thing as coincidences.

Speaker 2 (30:40):
And I was like, no, I need to talk to.

Speaker 1 (30:41):
This lady because she's got the juice. She knows something
about this man, Daddy Grace.

Speaker 4 (31:01):
First of all, that's fascinating because your grandmother must have
been a member, because you don't get buried or have
a service at the house of parent unless you are
a member. They are very.

Speaker 1 (31:16):
It's an exclusive thing. It's like being in a sorority
or fraternity.

Speaker 4 (31:18):
Yes, that's a good way of putting it. It is
definitely in its generational you know, people are members, and
their children are members, and their grandchildren are members, and
when you're not a member, you don't have access in
the same kind of way. She had to have been
a member, whether she consistently went to the church or not,

(31:38):
she had to have been a member. He was maybe yep,
something like that, yep.

Speaker 1 (31:44):
Or maybe somebody had to be if you're saying that. Also,
my uncle he left Newport News when he was like eight,
So maybe she joined the church after, you know, he left,
because she ended up remarrying somebody, So maybe she joined
the church as a result of being to somebody else,
and all the possibilities are endless. Tell us about this man,

(32:05):
Daddy Grace, Well, I have my own opinions.

Speaker 4 (32:10):
I mean, Daddy Grace just you can tell just by
his name was and you used the word enigma. But
a character for sure.

Speaker 2 (32:19):
It's very mysterious. Yeah, very mysterious. Very laired laird is.

Speaker 4 (32:25):
A great way of putting him. He came to the
United States. He was born in the island of Brava,
which is in Cape verd in the eighteen hundreds and
came to the United States to New Bedford specifically, like
all Cape Verdians did in those days, because it was
a port there. His parents he had already come a
He came back and went back and forth a couple

(32:47):
of times. His parents and siblings settled in New Bedford,
and one of his brothers opened up a church. You know,
his parents seemed to be doing well, thriving. He had
no intention on staying here, so the story goes, he
went back to his beloved islands, where he was already
a local celebrity. He was known throughout all of his
island as a storyteller, and storytelling is a big deal

(33:11):
in a culture where you know, most people are illiterate
and the oral tradition is huge.

Speaker 1 (33:16):
I thought you were going to say storytelling is a
big deal on the continent, a big deal in black culture.

Speaker 4 (33:24):
And back culture period, right, and and Bravak is no different.
So he was a local celebrity, yeah, because he was
known for the stories that he would tell. People would
gather around children and hang around and hear him, you know,
tell stories. So he didn't want to come to the US,
but apparently God had other plans for him, and he
loved his hair. So God said his hair on fire
and was like, you need to go to the United

(33:46):
States and spread the gospel. That's your mission and if
you don't go, it's gonna be worse. So he got
on a boat, made his way over and made the
United States his permanent home. And that was at the
turn of the century.

Speaker 2 (33:58):
So his hair cut off.

Speaker 4 (34:00):
Yeah, yeah, like Michael, look at that. Before Michael Jackson,
there was Daddy Grace. Ye okay, but Daddy Grace, you know,
I feel like he did a lot of our jobs
when he first got here, like most Cape Verdians did.
You know, he worked on the docks He apparently sold
patent medicines, worked as a cook, dishwasher, worked on the railroads,

(34:20):
started to explore the country. And you know, like I said,
his older brother was a preacher, and he said he
came here on that mission. So he started preaching. You know,
he was looking for a home, looking for different churches.
A lot of the Portuguese churches in the New Bedford
area were not welcoming to Cape Verdians. So Kate Verdians
had their own churches. So it would be you know,

(34:41):
an Ame church or Church of the Nazarene, or you know,
even a Cape Verdian Catholic church. But Daddy Grace felt like,
you know, there was something else for him and decided
to build his own church. So he did that, built
his very first church and Wearham, Massachusetts, they say, with
like forty nine dollars. And you know, he tried to

(35:02):
get a lot of kate Verdians to join join his church.
But he was Pentecostal or thank you, I grew up.

Speaker 2 (35:12):
I grew up. I grew up in a Pentecostal.

Speaker 4 (35:14):
Yeah, so you know, yeah, and that was very different
from Catholics or even Church of the Nazarene, where they
didn't believe in you know, the same things. And also
Kate Verdians like to drink their alcohol and do their
thing things that you know, Daddy Grace was really against.
So ultimately he started, you know, his own church. You
and I have a prayer for all people. And after

(35:36):
some time, decided to take his show on the road.

Speaker 2 (35:39):
Listen, baby outside, Daddy Grace. There we outside.

Speaker 4 (35:44):
Yeah, but what's fascinating about Daddy Grace? Aside from the
controversies around him, and there were many, he was somebody
who stood out. But I believe he used that to
his advantage. I think that he he knew he had
to attract people to himself, so he knew he had
to dress well. He knew he.

Speaker 2 (36:06):
Had to you know, his fingernails.

Speaker 4 (36:08):
He had to set himself apart. And even the fingernails
come from a Bible verse where you know, they said
that the prophet will have horns what looks like horns
coming out of his fingers.

Speaker 2 (36:17):
Okay, maybe I'm proud.

Speaker 4 (36:18):
I think you might be. I think you may bing
or a cat right either way or either way, don't
mess around. We don't don't mess around.

Speaker 2 (36:28):
Don't do it.

Speaker 4 (36:28):
Don't do it.

Speaker 2 (36:29):
Don't do it and it takes too long for me
give my nails.

Speaker 4 (36:32):
Yeah, please, we don't. You don't want that smoke. But yeah,
he he really you know, his goal, yes, was to
spread the Gospel, and he started with you know, tents.
He would do tent revivals and he had Yeah, he
had a method. He had a very distinct plan and
what he decided to do. And he went to the
poorous black neighborhoods. That was typically where he went because

(36:54):
for him, that was where the most need was. Start
with a tent revival, you know, build up that congregation,
get as many donations as possible, build a church, and
keep it pushing. And he did that all up and
down the Eastern seaboard. He ended up with over three
hundred congregations throughout the United States, and at one point
he was named the wealthiest black preacher in America. And

(37:17):
so with that, as you can imagine, came a lot
of controversy, jealousy, negative press, government interests.

Speaker 1 (37:26):
I love that in the episode where you talked about
the government, Yes, because I was wondering, like they ain't
bother him.

Speaker 4 (37:35):
Oh no, they did, Yeah they did, Yeah, they did.
You know, they really did. And you know, he was
not a perfect person obviously, like none of those. Yeah,
but with him, he was extremely intelligent. The thing about
Daddy Grace was he was smart. He had a marketing
you know, a head for marketing. He was a marketing genius.

(37:56):
He knew how to market himself. Clearly he was doing stuff,
you know, that other people weren't doing. But he also
understood entrepreneurship and he understood that, you know, having sovereignty,
having your own money was the only way that black
people in America were going to have power. Yeah, and
so he made that his mission to not only make

(38:19):
his congregation self sufficient, but also to impart some of
the wisdom onto his congregants to you know, show people
it was about. It was a different time. You know,
there were a lot of people in the same era.
You know, you had like Noble Druality, you had Marcus Garvey,
and you know, these were people who understood empowerment and

(38:42):
how critical it was at that time for black people
in America and around the globe. Anybody who had been oppressed,
which at that point, you know, these are people who
came from in Marcus Garvey's case, in Daddy Grace's case,
came from other countries. Yeah, they were immigrants, but they
lived under a colonial system, and they understood acutely that
people's spirits had been broken and that the self esteem

(39:10):
was a hindrance. A low self esteem was a hindrance
to growth. And so that's where I think their you know,
major work was done was giving people something to believe in,
giving people faith, and giving people sense of pride and
who they were and who they could be with community.

(39:31):
And I think that's one of the things that sat
him apart. Ultimately.

Speaker 1 (39:36):
So many people have said that he was a charlatan.
I might be one of them at first because I
misunderstood and I think we talked about this because I
thought that you were saying that he had purchased property
in New York and would not rent the property to
black people. Oh he is not a nice man. I

(39:59):
do like Daddy Grace, no with your fingernails. But then
that I listened to the episode and then it cleared
it up for me what it meant and what actually happened.

Speaker 4 (40:09):
Yeah, I mean, he was That was probably one of
the number one criticisms that was, you know, put his way,
was that he was a charlatan.

Speaker 2 (40:20):
Why do you think people called him the one?

Speaker 4 (40:21):
I mean, first of all, he was extremely He was
many things right, so he was ostentatious. He didn't hide
his wealth. He actually showed it off. I like to
think about him like Muhammad Ali, Like, you know, Muhammad Ali,
I'm pretty, you know. Best Daddy grace was that he
did not try to cower himself in any way. He

(40:43):
was like, oh, no, you're going to see this beautiful.
I'm a representation of what God can do so you
can be the king of your kingdom, you know, and
here I am as proof of it. His outfits were loud,
he wore bright colors. He had this long hair. He
taught he would comb his hair apparently, you know, all
the time, Yeah, and talk about how his hair was pretty.

(41:06):
You know. He had fancy cars. He had it built
into the bylaws of his church that he, the bishop,
had to have a new car every year. Yeah. He
was living a life of a man, you know, who
had a lot of money. And you know, a lot
of people during that day, there was another preacher named
Father Divine.

Speaker 2 (41:39):
My uncles told me about.

Speaker 1 (41:42):
Father Divine, and my uncle's also said they used the
sea word, the other sea word not Charlatan but cult.

Speaker 4 (41:48):
Yes, yes and very much so. Right, so we're father divine.

Speaker 2 (41:54):
Shout out to my uncle Warren and my uncle Bunkie.

Speaker 1 (41:58):
Big got, big up, big, big up to them down
in West Baltimore.

Speaker 2 (42:03):
And Lord, I done forgot the name of the area, Sandtown.

Speaker 1 (42:08):
That's where my family is, Sandtown, Winchester area of Baltimore.
And they used to do a lot of tent revivals
down there. Okay, And actually one of my uncles, my
uncle Warren, goes to the United House of Prayer and
gets dinners every Sunday. And you know what's really funny, Marcy,
I was telling Evan that last night my uncle Bunkie
called me and said, hey, Mimi, did you.

Speaker 2 (42:31):
Ever make it down? Because I told him, I said,
I'm going to go one day.

Speaker 4 (42:34):
I have a girl, but we should go today. We
should go up to Harlem.

Speaker 1 (42:37):
But listen, my uncle said, he said, well, do you
want to go on Sunday? And I said, Uncle Bunkie,
is so funny you mentioned that, I said, because I'm
going to record with the lady that I told you
about that was doing the podcast about him, who was
actually related to him. He said, so she was related
to him. I said, yes, sir, He said, well, do
you want to go? That's fine about this lady, I
don't care about that. Do you want to go get
these dinners on Sunday? I said absolutely, I said, and

(42:59):
I'm I'm gonna mention it on the show.

Speaker 4 (43:02):
Yes, that's one of the number one things.

Speaker 2 (43:04):
Is the physical food. Yea Fridays.

Speaker 4 (43:07):
I don't know what the schedule is in Harlem. Yeah,
but it depends. I don't know some places or everybody
has their own schedule. Yeah. But the thing with Father
Divine was that Father Divine his business model was flawed. Okay, okay.
And the reason why I say that is because he
said he was God. He said he was God, and he,
you know, in an act of what I think is

(43:29):
like utter defiance, right, he married a white woman and
that woman became his wife, and all of the people
that were part of Father Divine's peace mission had to
be celibate. They were considered Father Divine's children, and he
and his wife were apparently celibate.

Speaker 1 (43:45):
So eventually, I don't believe that a black man in
the fifties, forties, thirties married to a white woman, you
having sex with that white lady because you think you
got something special over there. Buddy, you are having the
sex with this white lady, So stop a Father Divine,
and how do you think you're going to be successful
telling people they can't have sex.

Speaker 4 (44:05):
Well, that's my whole point that eventually people are here
for and I mean, that's not a good model for
growing your congregation. So Father Divine's mission failed because pretty
much everybody is gone. I think there might be like
two or three members that are still alive and maybe
a handful more. But yeah, so that was why his
model was flawed, and Daddy Grace called him a Charlotte's into.

(44:26):
Daddy Grace was like, he's a Charlatan. If he's God,
then who the hell are we praying to? Daddy? That's
what he said.

Speaker 2 (44:31):
And it was, you know, period because I heard him.

Speaker 4 (44:34):
Yeah, yeah, but is that a thing? Yeah, it completely is.
But yeah, I mean, so, you know, just to answer
your question, I was not. I've never been in Daddy
Grace's presence. I don't know what it felt like to
be around him the man. But what I can say
is this is that people did say he had a gift.
Even when he was a child. He was always known

(44:56):
that he had a gift, people said, retelling and a
spiritual gifts.

Speaker 2 (45:02):
Oh.

Speaker 4 (45:02):
People have always said, even people in the church that
I talked to, Oh, Daddy Grace had special powers. Like
if you said something bad about him, you know something
that happened to you.

Speaker 1 (45:11):
Maybe I am a prophet. I tell you about the
boy who stole my tims.

Speaker 2 (45:15):
Yeah, yeah, the nails.

Speaker 4 (45:18):
Yeah. I mean listen, if you do bad, Yes, I
am anointed, So if you do something bad to me,
it will come back people.

Speaker 2 (45:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (45:26):
Same. And I know that he was known for that.
He was known to have a healing touch. He was
known to have performed miracles. But then there are also
people you know, who say no, and they say, oh,
he crossed the line. He started thinking he was Jesus.
He never said that. He did say that he was
God's prophet, but he never claimed to be Jesus. So again,

(45:49):
I wasn't around to be in his presence to know.
But what I can say is that whatever he had,
whatever he did, there were thousands of people who followed
him that follow him. He's gone, they continue to not
just follow him, but I mean be members of the
church and to believe in their way of life and
to be completely committed to it. And so that's one thing.

(46:12):
And I will say from my experience, because.

Speaker 2 (46:16):
You went to one, Yeah, did you sit through a service?

Speaker 4 (46:19):
I sat through. And I've been to a couple, and
I'm going to be honest. Some of the churches I
felt just as if I was in my own church, right,
And I haven't been to a church in a long time,
but my church growing up. Oh, I feel the spirit
moving in here. And then there's been others that I
felt nothing of his other of his churches. It just
depends on who the pastor is. I think from me,

(46:41):
So that's that's one thing. But you know, what they
what they practice is not very different from any other
Christian church. The differences are I think, you know, no,
there are some differences because I just like money is
very prevalent there. You know, they have several collections throughout

(47:02):
one service.

Speaker 2 (47:03):
Theytalia that's like Black Church. That's Black Church.

Speaker 1 (47:06):
It's the building Fund, the Women's Day Fund, Pastes Anniversary,
the Women's Anniversary, the Auxiliary Fund.

Speaker 2 (47:13):
That's like Black Church. It is USA, it is, it
really is.

Speaker 4 (47:18):
But the other thing I wanted to say is that
I believe that Daddy Grace had some sort of annointing
because although he's been dead, he was dead before I
was born. I certainly have felt his spirit, and his
spirit has followed me throughout this journey. And that's why
I did this podcast. I did it, Yes, I did

(47:39):
it because it was an interesting story. I wanted to
tell his story. I was curious as to why I
had never been told he's such a fascinating creer somebody
and where's his place in history?

Speaker 2 (47:49):
And you know what is funny?

Speaker 1 (47:50):
You said that because they talk about Jim Jones and
not to say that he is a cult leader. I
am mildly obsessed with organized crime, gangs, the mafia, and
also cults, particularly black cults, because I'm like, how did
why did y'all do this? Why did you go and

(48:12):
follow him? Why is he not spoken about more? Because
they talk about some Jones, They talk about the Waco dude,
what was his name, David Koresh, They talk about the Yeah,
they talk about I remember that I was a senior
in high school. That was Bob coming and they all
had black Russell sweatsuits and ate the apple sauce.

Speaker 2 (48:34):
You're too young to know about that, Evan yeah, remembers.

Speaker 4 (48:38):
Garry as hell. I mean the fact that anybody followed
that man. D You're talking about Heaven the Heaven's Gate guy.
He was like translucent you.

Speaker 2 (48:45):
No, that's not David.

Speaker 4 (48:47):
I'm not kidding.

Speaker 2 (48:47):
David Koresh had a beautiful head of hair. I'm gonna
go ahead. And his hair was beautiful.

Speaker 1 (48:53):
I said he had a flowing hair like he did
panting commercials for men.

Speaker 4 (48:59):
I mean, that's a good way to get people to
follow this.

Speaker 2 (49:02):
But listen. But and so this is why I did
use that C word.

Speaker 1 (49:06):
It takes and it is about marketing because and I
will fashion him to Beyonce uh Janet Jackson, who is
a man that Michael Jackson like, if you want the
people to follow you, you have to be somebody that

(49:26):
I think that the men want to be and that
the women want to be with, or the women want
to be and that the men want to be with
men want to be like Daddy Grace because he was rich, right,
women loved him. He had these long fingernails, he had
this hair, and he was rich and he wasn't ashamed

(49:48):
to show he was rich. Everybody wanted a piece of that.
And he was essentially living the exaggerated American dream for
black people to be rich and be able to flaunt
your riches around in the faces of America, right, And
so it does make sense, and he was smart because, like,

(50:09):
you have to know the thing that I always think
about when I think about like these religious leaders, and
there's always the argument, and I kind of am on
both sides of the fence when it comes to this.
A lot of people argue about like them and their riches,
and then they're in the poorest neighborhoods. You mentioned that,

(50:30):
and it's like, how do you show up loaded down?
Because he was definitely a millionaire, and then my lights
are off in my house, or I can't pay my rent,
or I can't pay my mortgage, but I'm going to
give the last of my money to you because I
believe in your cause.

Speaker 2 (50:46):
Like, how do you sleep at night?

Speaker 1 (50:48):
Actually probably gonna very finely crafted mattress, But how do
you live with that knowing that the people who are
following you are not doing well? And how do you
turn that around? So the whip side of that coin
for me is that it takes a lot of work
to be a daddy grace.

Speaker 2 (51:05):
It takes.

Speaker 1 (51:06):
People have said the same thing about in Baltimore, where
I live. Jamal Bryant used to be a pastor there.
Now he's in Atlanta, and people would say the same
thing about him. Oh he has a Bentley and da
da da. It takes a lot of work to do
the work that they do. Why shouldn't they have nice things. Oh,
he's a man of God.

Speaker 2 (51:22):
He should be did a minded business.

Speaker 1 (51:24):
You don't go to work and tell them, don't pay me,
take my money down to the homeless shelter because I'm
a woman of God, or I believe in God and
I should.

Speaker 2 (51:31):
You don't do that. So they deserve to have nice things.

Speaker 1 (51:34):
So it is a it's a tangled web or a
tricky little little thing. It's a tricky way to look
at it. But either way, he was smart. That's one
thing that I will say. He was very smart. He
knew how to work whatever it is. He knew how
to work his plan.

Speaker 4 (51:50):
Yeah, he knew how to work his plan for sure.
I want to I want to say something just to
address what you said about cult, right, because it's only
really in the last few decades that the word cult
has become a negative. Previously cult was not considered something negative.
It was just simply a group of people who had
their own set of rules, and everybody that was in

(52:11):
that group followed those sets of rules. But things like
Heaven's Gay or David Koresh or Jim Jones that made
us think about the cult in a negative way. So
even when they were speaking about Daddy Grace and the
Times or in Jet or Ebony or whatever, they would
they would say at first, they would say cult leader,
and it wasn't necessarily negative, but then it started taking

(52:33):
on a negative It started taking on a negative turn. Yeah,
especially with a lot of white media saying really negative things.
And it could have been. It could have been. But
I spoke with one of the pastors because one thing
that was difficult about making this podcast was that a
lot of people that were involved in the church was

(52:56):
by far Daddy Grace's like closest outside of his immediate family.
His closest associations were within the church, right, I mean,
he had other friends, but he was a guy who
worked NonStop. This guy worked till the day he died.
He literally delivered a sermon, right, I Mean all he
did was travel and tend to his flock right. So
not being able to speak directly and on the record

(53:19):
with somebody from the church was for me, you know,
it was like a fail right because I was like, damn, man,
I can't get anybody from the church to speak to
me on the record. But a lot of people spoke
to me off the record. And one thing that one
of the pastors told me was I brought this up,
asked him the same question. He said, no, actually, we
are a cult. We are a cult. And I said, well,

(53:41):
what makes you say that? And he said, well, because
we all abide by the same set of rules. We
most of us work together, we attend the same church,
we're there every night of the week, we eat together,
we marry one another. We're encouraged to only have friendships
and associations within this group of people. So, yeah, we
are a cult. And he's right, that's wrong with that.

Speaker 1 (54:03):
Yeah, And he's right though that because they're not going
up on the hilbop right now.

Speaker 4 (54:06):
They're not They're not going to say it's the difference between.

Speaker 1 (54:09):
Somebody like Guyana and drinking kool aid. And now they're
not Jim Jones, They're not like experience friends and can

(54:36):
let's get into our today's uh straight fact question. Let's
just let's just go straight there. Okay, Hi, mami, I
would rather not share my name.

Speaker 2 (54:46):
Okay, fine by me, ma'am.

Speaker 1 (54:49):
I need some true advice regarding my friendship. My friend
and I have been friends for ten plus years. We
have shared many miles milestones together, excuse me, like weddings, childbirths,
and managing motherhood. My friend recently wrote in our group
chat and shared that her mother had passed away. This

(55:11):
was a complete shock to me because I did not
even know that her mother was sick. In her message,
she also said that she and her family were navigating
the loss as they had been dealing with the sickness
impacting her mother for some time, and that she did
not want any phone calls from any of us during
this time. Well, I mean not to judge your friend,

(55:33):
but whoa I mean, she has the right to feel
however she wants to feel. But who tells their friends
like don't call me because anyway whatever? Let me just
take that back and my business and shut my mouth up.

Speaker 2 (55:47):
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, where was I?

Speaker 1 (55:50):
In her message, she also said that she and her
family were navigating the loss, as they had been dealing
with the sickness impacting her mother for some time, and
that she did not want any phone calls from any
of us during this time. I was surely shocked and
caught off guard by it all. I attempted to give
her space and respect her boundaries.

Speaker 2 (56:10):
Good, because that's what you should do. I did follow
up with her.

Speaker 1 (56:14):
Directly through texts and call several times after the funeral,
which was two weeks later. I never received a response back,
not a return text, call or anything. Yesterday I spoke
with a mutual friend of one of my close friends
who was in our group chat, and she informed me
that my friend is upset with me because I took

(56:35):
so long to reach out to her regarding the loss
of her mother. I was just trying to respect her
wishes and her boundaries.

Speaker 2 (56:42):
Was I wrong?

Speaker 1 (56:43):
And that is from Ava from Twin Cities, Minnesota, shout
out the Twin Cities, Minnesota. And that shout out was
mainly because I've never been there. I've never really had
a desire to go there, but I'm curious now.

Speaker 2 (57:00):
Anyway.

Speaker 1 (57:01):
You know, Ava, this is a tricky situation because you
were trying to respect her wishes and her boundaries, and
I agree that if she said she needed space, then
what the fuck were you supposed to do? Like, how
do you know what the perfect time is for that?
I don't know how long you uh, let's see it

(57:26):
says two weeks later, like she said she didn't want
any phone calls during this time.

Speaker 2 (57:32):
I don't know. Two weeks is a long time to.

Speaker 1 (57:36):
Not follow up. I would have to say. I feel
like two weeks is a long time. I would have
probably followed up after three days. And I don't give
a shit if she said that, And I mean I
would have wanted to respect her boundaries, and I would
have respected her boundaries, but during this time to me,
would have been three days. Because I'm going to avoid
being in this situation because people get weird when people

(57:57):
pass away. But on the flip side, I feel like
you didn't do anything wrong because you were respecting her boundaries.
At this point, everybody knows what I'm going to say.
It's not a secret, you know. You just reach out
to her and have a conversation with her. She didn't

(58:17):
return your text, she didn't call. Go to her fucking house.
Ava go to her house and knock on the door,
and if she doesn't let you in, keep calling and
keep texting, and then after about a month, if she
just absolutely doesn't respond, fall back and then give her
about two weeks after that month and contact her because

(58:40):
remember she lost her mom. This is some heavy shit.
So I'm going to say that to say, like, don't
give up on your friendship. Give her some space. Also,
you could write her a letter, put it in her
mailbox when you go to her house.

Speaker 2 (58:56):
To knock on the door or whatever. Have a letter already,
work hard.

Speaker 1 (59:01):
That you know says something, you know that I think
we need to talk about this. I miss you, I
love you. I want to be here for you. I
think we that we had a misunderstanding. You know, you
kind of got to put forward a little more effort
because she's your friend and she lost her mind. You know,
because let me tell you something, people passing away and

(59:23):
friends not showing up. I don't give a fuck what's
going I don't care if we're not talking. I don't
care if you hate my guts, I don't care about
any of that. But not showing up when you lose
somebody that's really close to you, Yeah, that's for me
that those are grounds to dead a friendship and I've
done it.

Speaker 2 (59:43):
I've done it, like you don't.

Speaker 1 (59:45):
I just think that it's ignorant and I think it
really shows who people are. And so for me, I
feel like you need to kind of work a little
harder to make it right because she lost a loved
one and she lost her mother. She needs a lot

(01:00:05):
of support, and I think that, you know, you kind
of got to step up and be a really good
friend her and try to help her out.

Speaker 2 (01:00:13):
Now, if after a.

Speaker 1 (01:00:14):
Month it calls texts, smoke signals, smoke stacks, morse code
braille on her front door, like serenading her from the ground,
being a little stalkrish if she is not responsive, then
you just kind of got to back up and just
pray about it and release it and just pray that

(01:00:36):
she comes around, and also pray that when she comes
around that you even are interested in still being friends,
because sometimes people can do that shit where they like
go underground and then come back and you're like, yeah,
I don't want to deal with this anymore.

Speaker 2 (01:00:53):
You've been gone for so long that I don't even
want to deal with it.

Speaker 1 (01:00:55):
So try your best to communicate with her because she's
in a low place right now. But after about two months,
like you kind of got to just release that thing
and pray to God because you shouldn't have to chase
her like forever, because after two months like she might
be saying like, no, I don't want this to go

(01:01:17):
any further, and she has that right, and I pray
that it works out. I pray that she answers you
and that you guys can talk it out and work it.

Speaker 2 (01:01:25):
Out and make it work.

Speaker 1 (01:01:27):
Because being friends with somebody and losing a friendship that long,
it's like a fucking death in and of its in
and of itself. Trust me, I know I've experienced that
death more times than I would like to even count.
So good luck, Ava. It makes me so sad to

(01:01:47):
hear this, but I'm hoping that and praying that everything
works itself out. It's gonna happen. I believe it because
I believe and positive stuff I wanted to happen. I
really wanted to happen for you, and it is it is.

(01:02:10):
That sound means that it's going to happen. Friends in
Kim for today's we Got to Do Better segment, I
am reading a quote from Barbara Jordan.

Speaker 2 (01:02:23):
And if you don't know who Barbara Jordan is, go to.

Speaker 1 (01:02:26):
Google and get yourself together, okay, because you should know
who she is. Especially you should know who she is period.
But if you are black, and you are Black American,
there's no reason why you should not know who she is. Anyway,
it says I never intended to become a run of
the male person. And I really love that quote. And

(01:02:46):
I love it because, you know, it kind of just
says exactly what everybody should be thinking, nobody should want
to be. I have this conversation with my students all
the time when I talk to them about complacency and
being okay with having c's and sometimes even ds like

(01:03:11):
you should never be okay with being average or being
run of the mill, or doing the.

Speaker 2 (01:03:16):
Same thing that everybody else is doing.

Speaker 1 (01:03:18):
That should never be okay to you. You should want
to be exceptional, you should want to be great, you
should want to be different. So shut out to you, Auntie, Barbara,
Auntie Barbara Jordan for that one, because nobody should ever
intend or have the intention or have the what am

(01:03:40):
I trying to say, or have the mindset of complacency
where being run of the mill and average or mediocre
is okay, and if you do that is fine for you.
But I just want you to know it's not going
to get you far. It's not going to get you
far at all. We are not made to be run

(01:04:04):
of the mill. We are made to be exceptional. So
go out and be great.

Speaker 2 (01:04:21):
Friends again. The first thing that I want to do.

Speaker 1 (01:04:23):
Is say thank you to God first and foremost, because
God is supreme and I recognize and appreciate the grace
that my God extends me every single day of my
what black ass life.

Speaker 2 (01:04:35):
I want to say thank.

Speaker 1 (01:04:36):
You to my people and for my people. Thank you
to each and every one of you guys that has
been rocking with me since day one, which is March
the first of twenty twenty. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I truly appreciate you for being here. And even if
you just started listening today, I thank you for.

Speaker 2 (01:04:55):
That as well.

Speaker 1 (01:04:56):
I'm grateful either way, and I am thankful for my family,
my friends, my friends and can all of my supporters
and of course, most importantly, every single one of you
guys that are out there listening to the sound of
my voice. I love you guys so much and It's
nothing short of an honor and a privilege for me
to share my time and my energy with you, especially

(01:05:17):
if you choose me and you choose to keep coming
back to spend time and energy with me.

Speaker 2 (01:05:24):
I look forward to the next time we.

Speaker 1 (01:05:26):
Get to do this, which will be next Tuesday, and
I'm excited for it because next Tuesday will be the
end of the series between the Excuse Me, the end
of the series where I'm in a conversation with Marcy
Depina about Sweet Daddy Grace. So I'm excited for the

(01:05:48):
culmination of that conversation. Now, before you exit out of
whatever streaming service you're using to listen to this, please
stop what you're doing, and if you haven't already done so,
look for the subscribe or followup button click on it
if that's an option for you on the streaming service
where you're listening. So first, I want you to subscribe

(01:06:08):
or follow hand Me my Purse on the streaming service
where you listen to podcasts. Next, I want you to
go over to Instagram and follow me at hand Me
my Purse Underscore podcast.

Speaker 2 (01:06:20):
Also follow me on threads.

Speaker 1 (01:06:24):
I was about to call it something else threads and
the link to that is going to be in my
Instagram profile. You'll see my name with a little at
in a little oval right under my picture. Click on that,
go over to threads, follow me, and on Facebook, just
search Handing my Purse podcast. If you listen on the
streaming service or medium that allows you to do so,

(01:06:47):
please rate and review the show or give it a
thumbs up if you can. Friends that can, be sure
to share Handing my Purse with your friends, your family,
your loved ones, and even the people that you fucking
just don't like. Because the best way for people to
find out about him In My Purse is by word
of mouth. It's by you guys telling them all about
the show. So tell a friend to tell a friend

(01:07:10):
to tell a friend. Please submit your questions for the
straight Facts segment by clicking on the link in the
show notes that says submit a question for stray facts.
It's real simple, friends and can It's real simple. Or
you can click the link and my Instagram profile and
just look for the button that directs you to submit

(01:07:33):
a question, and you never know, your question may just
be featured on an upcoming show. I'm starting to look
for show. I mean questions for next year's shows for
the shows for twenty twenty four, so please submit some
good questions for me. I look forward to them. I
get excited to read the questions that you guys submit.

(01:07:53):
You guys submit some good stuff, so go ahead and
start send me some questions so we can get ready
for twenty twenty four. Also, I want you to remember
that show notes are always available in the episode description.
Wherever you are listening to the show, be sure to
take a look at the show notes because that is
where I put all the links and other information that
I mentioned during the show that you may want to

(01:08:15):
check out, in addition to some extra stuff sometimes that
I just want to share with you, just so you know.
The music for Handing my Purse the Podcast is provided
by none other than West Baltimore's own Gloomy Tunes. Shout
out the Gloomy Tunes. And last but not least, I

(01:08:37):
want to give a big old shout out to my
producers Taylor and Evan. Together we make up Window Banjo
and the Dirty Throats, and I want you guys to
never forget that I look forward to you looking forward
to listening to hand In my Purse the Podcast each
and every Single Tuesday and I'm out this Bitch Peace.

(01:09:11):
Hand Me my Purse is a production of iHeart Podcasts.
For more shows from iHeart Podcasts, visit the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

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No. 75: Who is Sweet Daddy Grace - The Man, The Myth, The Legend w/Marcy DePina. PART TWO.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}No. 75: Who is Sweet Daddy Grace - The Man, The Myth, The Legend w/Marcy DePina. PART TWO.