October 30, 2025 • 40 mins
Welcome to the season of gratitude, the season of Thanksgiving, the season where we celebrate food, sharing, family and faith. We really should be celebrating Thanksgiving and gratitude all year round. However, to everything there is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven.
Everything has it's appointed time, a time to be born, a time to die, a time to plant, a time to harvest. There's a time for sorrow, there's a time for joy. Our problem is we like to think we're in control of those seasons. Here's the thing we don't get to control or redirect or decide when these seasons are gonna happen in our lives. My faith teaches me that is up to God. When we trust in God's timing...He will get us through anything. When we can rest in knowing that his plan is probably better than our plan miracles can happen. I hope you enjoy this episode.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, my friend. Hello, Welcome to the season of gratitude,
the season of Thanksgiving, the season where we celebrate Thanksgiving.
But really we should be celebrating Thanksgiving and gratitude. I
think all year long. I think year round, we should
(00:24):
be celebrating the season of Thanksgiving. To everything. There is
a season and a time for every purpose under heavens.
Have you ever heard that. There's a song that came
out I think in the sixties, Turn Turn, Turn, and
it talks about it's actually straight from scriptures for everything
(00:48):
there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven.
It's a reflection on the natural rhythm, the natural cycles
of life. Every thing, everything has its appointed time, a
time to be born, a time to die, a time
(01:09):
to plant, a time to harvest. There's a time for sorrow,
there's a time for joy. Our problem is we like
to think we're in control of those seasons. By now,
I'm sure you've seen the footage of Hurricane what is
it Melissa hitting Jamaica two hundred and forty mile an hour. Wins.
(01:33):
There is no way to control or redirect storms like that,
And in the same way, we don't get to control
or redirect or decide when these seasons are going to
happen in our life. That is up to the Almighty.
(01:57):
That's what my belief teaches me shows me, is that
it's the Lord that orchestrates the seasons, both literally and spiritually.
There is a time to fall in love. For some people,
they are meant to be a couple. They desire from childhood,
(02:23):
from early adulthood, they long to be connected with another
human being. There is a time to be a couple.
There is a time to start a family. There is
a time to move to let your career take priority.
There's a time for all these things, and when we
(02:45):
try to force them, it usually doesn't end well. But
when we trust in God's timing, Oh my word, everything unfolds.
When we trust in the timing of the Almighty. When
we can rest in knowing that his plan is probably
better than our plan and we should let it unfold,
(03:08):
miracles happen up. First in our podcast today, we're going
to talk to Hannah. Hannah is an example of learning patients.
Hannah is in a beautiful relationship. She's recently become engaged,
and she is having such a hard time understanding the
season that her fiance is in right now. She is
(03:32):
in the season of let's talk, let's talk, let's see
each other, let's plan everything, and he's in the season
of slow down. I gotta get through school first. Let's
let Hannah tell her story and let's listen to her
and help her navigate the season that they are going through. Hi,
(03:52):
good evening. You've called it Elilah show. Who is this?
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Oh my goodness, I can't believe you answer.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
This is Hannah.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Hi, Hannah, welcome aboard. What can I do to add
a note of joy to your night?
Speaker 3 (04:10):
Well?
Speaker 2 (04:10):
I grew up listening to you, first of all, and
I haven't listened to you in probably almost ten years,
so it's been a long time.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
How did you find your way home to me?
Speaker 2 (04:19):
Hannah on the way back from a road trip. And
my fiance Zachary listens to you as well, and it's
kind of like been a nighttime thing for us, and
it's we always find you very soothing for the soul.
Speaker 4 (04:33):
So thank you very.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Much for that. So tell me about this man that
you love.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
So we are engaged right now. I've been with him
for three years. He's the love of my life. One
of those things that kind of when you stay patient
and you pray, it kind of comes out of nowhere.
So my advice is to just stay patient and trust
God's timing because it kind of came out of nowhere.
(04:59):
He's actually the brother of my best friend's boyfriend and
now fiance too.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
So so you and your best friend are marrying brothers.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Yeah, and we're now going to be sisters in law.
So it's a crazy story. We were friends and I
never would have seen it coming in a million years,
but I knew right away that you know, he was
a one, and yeah, it was. This story is just insane, but.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
This story is so sweet.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Yeah. So and now we're we got engaged in December
and Washington, d C. Which is a place where we
went years ago as friends and quote unquote fell in
love with each other, but stage friends. So we just
got engaged there in December, and now we're planning our wedding.
So we'll get married here in South Jersey.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
So when are you getting married?
Speaker 2 (05:54):
So we got engaged in December and the weddings in
two years, so we wanted time. I just graduated with
my master's in social work and I'm a full time
preschool teacher this year.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
With two year olds.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
So I'm very busy, and he's back in school and
he's very busy. So we're doing life and juggling a
lot of things, and so we wanted to plan it out.
And we still both live at home and are working
and doing a lot of stuff.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Hanna, this is like a Hallmark movie. You realize that
the school teacher, social worker loves children, the cute guy
whose brother is marrying her best this is like a
Hallmark Christmas movie. We just need to throw in like
(06:42):
a mean evil like landlord or something who tries to
stop the two happy couples, and then love wins and
triumphs and you go on a sleigh ride off into
the sunset.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
It was funny because I did call tonight for some
advice because we don't often argue, but tonight we got
in a little spat and I finally said I was
gonna let him calm down.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
And give him space.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
And I never I never give space then, So it's
funny because I was an independent girl in my whole
life until I met him. So I was like, maybe
she you know, she's the one to go to advice
for because I always just pray. But I was like,
maybe I'll try Delilah.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
So it's definitely God brought me.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Here well only for me to say you were on
the right track and you need to pray. I was
never when I was young, the kind of person that
could give anybody space. My husband will say things like,
can we not have this conversation right now because you're
angry and I'm tired, and can we just put it
to rest and then we'll pick it up later when
(07:47):
when I'm rested in what what do you mean put
it to rest? We're not gonna put it to rest
because I got to talk this thing through right now.
It doesn't work very well. Yeah, so can I ask
what the little spat was about?
Speaker 2 (08:00):
We just, you know, we're both very busy in life
right now, and he's doing five classes. He's in school
for managerial accounting, which is a very tough degree, and
he has a very tough course load, and I'm working
full time, so we're both juggling a lot. So it's
hard to find time for each other right now in
this season and now starting the wedding plan. So I
(08:23):
guess figuring out time for each other and seeing eye
to eye on the little things, but I guess it's
hard to you know, you got to learn to focus
less on that, always agreeing on the little thing.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
Hannah, have you ever been around a garden, have you
ever grown a garden, or have you ever known anyone
that grew a garden, a flower garden or a vegetable garden.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
I do love nature and gardens, but I've never grown
one because I still live at home. So it's an
aspiration to have one one day.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Okay, but you said South Jersey, right, yes, garden capital
of the world, best tomatoes, best corn ever.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
M hm.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
So does your mom, or your grandma, or your neighbor,
anybody garden and raise things.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
My next door neighbor actually when they give us wonderful tomatoes.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Okay, So if you were to look in your next
door neighbor's yard right now, I guarantee you her garden
does not look spectacular, and in two months it really
won't look spectacular because for everything, there is a season,
and fall and winter are a season that for those
(09:31):
of us that love to garden look to other people
like there's something wrong. There's not. The earth is resting,
The earth is resting, and the leaves are falling, providing
nutrients for the ground, for the dirt, for the worms,
for everything we need for the garden we're going to
(09:51):
plant next spring. But for everything there is a season
and a time for every purpose under heaven. And right now,
while he finishes up this degree so that he can
have a life with you in the future, it is
not the time to go out and pick tomatoes. You
can't say, but I need tomatoes now, the garden says,
(10:13):
I'm sorry, it's tomato season's over. Right now is the
time that the ground is preparing for next spring when
you plant tomatoes again. So right now while he is preparing.
Do you know in the Old Testament, I've heard you
mentioned God more than once in the Old Testament when
a couple got engaged the wedding feast whereen Jesus turned
(10:38):
the water into wine. That whole story is so precious
because the man would go ask the woman to be
his wife, and then he would withdraw from her for
a year or more, because he would go prepare their home,
their future home. And when his father said it is
(10:58):
time the home is done. My son is a man.
He has done what he set out to accomplish. He
can care for his bride the father of the groom
would be the one to determine when the wedding feast was.
But she didn't see him during that time, right because
(11:19):
it was a season of preparation. You probably see him
or text him every day for the most part, and
you're thinking that's not enough.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
Well, it's funny because it was not like this in
the beginning. And you know, it gets almost, in my opinion,
worse as time goes.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
By, gets worse as far as the time he has
for you or.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
No, no, no, I'm saying, like wanting to see them more.
Speaker 5 (11:48):
Because you're in love and you thrilled to see him.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
So he is either busy for one of two reasons.
Either he is emotionally unavailable, in which case you should
not marry him, or he is preparing to be your
husband and he is hyper focusing on what he's got
to get done, in which case you should understand that
(12:14):
and recognize that this is for your future.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
Thank you. That was a good metaphor. I liked that one.
I've never heard that one.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
You guys are going to be fine. I suspect you
will have a beautiful wedding.
Speaker 4 (12:32):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Remember, weddings are just weddings, it's the marriage that counts.
A wedding is an event, a marriage is a covenant.
So focus on the covenant, the promises, the being available
to one another, the respect, the cherishing, and don't worry
(12:54):
about wedding plans right now. Your mom will figure that
that part out.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
She's already starting.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Of course she is. Of course she is. That's funny, you,
my friend, have a beautiful night. Thank you for calling.
Can I say a prayer for you?
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Yes? And may I give you a song too. It's
actually going to be our first dance, if that's okay?
Speaker 1 (13:21):
Yes, what song? And by me, Benny King, I will
play that for you. Now, let me say a prayer
for you, Father God. I thank you Lord. I thank
you for Hannah getting through on the phones. I thank
you that it was first time tonight she got through.
I thank you God for bringing this beautiful young man
into her life. I thank you that she and her
(13:42):
friend will be sisters in law. That's almost as wonderful
of a gift as the fact that you brought her
such a wonderful man. I thank you God that he
has focused, that he is trying to complete his degree,
that he's not out partying, that he's not losing focus,
that he's not wasting his time and money, but that
(14:03):
he's focused and wants to finish this chapter in life,
the season in life, so that he can provide for
his wife and his family. I pray, Lord God, that
you would give Hannah patience. Don't give her lessons to
teach her patients. God, just supernaturally reach down from on
(14:23):
high and just put patience into her young heart. Let
her know, Lord God, that for everything there is a
time and a purpose, and you're working everything out. Father.
I pray these two would have a lifetime of love,
a lifetime of joy, that their covenant would be strong,
and that your Holy Spirit would see them through everything. Father,
(14:47):
when the days are dark, when the trials and tribulations hit,
when grief hits or sadness, I pray you would sustain
them and make their love all the stronger. I asked
them in your precious and holy name. Amen.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
Amen, thank you so much.
Speaker 3 (15:05):
You have a blast night.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
You too, honey, God bless you. You just heard from Hannah,
who's engaged in planning her future. Up next, we're going
to hear from Logan. Logan was planning his future, built
his life around someone, planned every day to spend with
this someone, and now they exited stage right they said, yeah,
(15:34):
I was only kidding. That's not my plan. Let's listen
to Logan's story and see if we can help him
through this season of grief. This is Logan, Hi, Logan, welcome.
What can I do for you on this autumn night.
Speaker 4 (15:52):
I've been a lifetime listener of your show.
Speaker 6 (15:54):
I remember found it finding you when I was maybe
like sixth listening to the radio and going to bed
to your show every night. And I recently last weekend,
was broken up with for the first time, and I
found myself looking for some guidance or just some way
(16:17):
to understand how you can feel so fulfilled by somebody
and so loved and then and then it just it's
gone in one second. I met this person when I
moved to a new city last year. Six days after
(16:38):
I moved here, I met him, and I so just
my whole life in the city has been defined by
time that I've spent with this one person. And now
I just feel so lost and I'm unsure of what
of how I can make myself feel at home here
without the person that felt like home.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
This is like, this is like a three hour movie
script here, Logan, that you're describing, you realize this is
like every song Adele ever recorded, right, Maybe Adele and
Elton and Selene all wrapped up. Yeah, So how old
are you?
Speaker 4 (17:19):
I'm twenty three.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
And this is your first true love, first big heartbreak.
Speaker 5 (17:24):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (17:25):
And was there fight, disagreement, stress, a breakdown and communication
leading up to the breakup?
Speaker 4 (17:35):
I want to say no.
Speaker 6 (17:37):
It was a situation where I felt like everything was
great all the time.
Speaker 4 (17:45):
And maybe that was me not being able.
Speaker 6 (17:48):
To voice when I felt frustrated for fear of confrontation
and fallout, but.
Speaker 4 (17:58):
It felt like everything was good.
Speaker 6 (18:00):
In fact, happened unexpectedly in the middle of a date
that I had planned with the caveat that.
Speaker 4 (18:07):
I don't think that he had expected it to happen either.
Speaker 6 (18:09):
It just kind of happened, And it was like one
of those breakups that's like on good terms, like I'm.
Speaker 4 (18:15):
Nothing but love and respect, but it's hard to.
Speaker 6 (18:18):
Like, like I almost wish that I could be upset more.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
How do you accidentally break up? Logan? I don't know.
When you love somebody and they are your home and
you've built your world around them and then they say, oh,
never mind, I don't want this life that we've built
around each other. How does that happen? Accidentally?
Speaker 4 (18:42):
I think maybe I just didn't see the signs.
Speaker 6 (18:47):
I mean, he just got his master's degree and he's
not sure what's next in his life. So I could
see that maybe he didn't know how to envision the
future with me, if he couldn't even envision his own,
I thought that I could be there.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Okay, we're talking apples and oranges here. A career, a profession,
choice of where you want to settle down. Those are
things you work out with the person that you're building
your life with, not by yourself, and then you say,
oh bye the bye h. That's that's what human relationships are.
(19:26):
It's give and take and compromise and let's figure this
out together. That's when you if you're all in, you're
all in. It sounds like you were all in and
he led you to believe he was all in, but
he wasn't in at all. Yeah, you were all in.
You were one hundred percent. This is my person, this
(19:48):
is who I want to, you know, be on a
front porch, sipping tea in a rocking chair one day
and you thought that he had the same tensions a
need didn't have those intentions at all. If he can
accidentally break up with you, oh, let's go on a date,
and by the way, I'm thinking I might move on
(20:09):
down the highway of life without you by my side.
Speaker 6 (20:13):
You're right, and I feel like I deserve to be
prioritized in the same way that I prioritize others.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
You do when you're in a relationship that is an adult, committed,
loving relationship and you've talked it through. I assume you
guys talked and agreed that you guys were an exclusive couple. Yes,
then you very much deserve to be prioritized. So it
(20:43):
sounds like his actions were not lining up in alignment.
If you will with his words.
Speaker 6 (20:52):
Yeah, I would say so, as much as I want
to believe that it wasn't intentional.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
What nobody accidentally pledges their heart to another person and
then says, oh, by the way, I was kind of
only getting You're right. I mean I used to do
that all the time when I was young, When I
was younger than you, because I was a hot mess.
I had been through trauma, I had been through sexual abuse,
and I meant it when I said it. I meant
(21:21):
I loved you when I said it, But then two
hours later, when I had a mood swing because it
was a trauma reaction, I didn't mean it anymore. And
I would gaslight the poor guys and say, why did
you believe me when I say I loved you? What's
wrong with you? Why would you even think that I
meant it when I promised you I.
Speaker 4 (21:42):
Loved you absolutely, and I believed it for a.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
Year and there were really really nice people that believed
me too, And I did far worse things than your
partner did. So I'm not judging him or saying he's
a bad person, but he is not emotionally available, which
means he's probably been through trauma and isn't healed.
Speaker 6 (22:09):
Right, So then how do I find myself in this
city now that it's just me again?
Speaker 1 (22:16):
Well, you moved there for a reason, right, and that
reason wasn't him?
Speaker 3 (22:21):
Right?
Speaker 1 (22:23):
Did you move there for work? Did you move there
for opportunity? Where did you move to? First off? What city?
Speaker 4 (22:29):
Often?
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Oh, oh my gosh, honey, go to the North End,
Go get a canoli. That's all you gotta do. You
got to go to the North End and get a
canol and wander around, especially now that the holidays are coming.
Oh my gosh, the North End is so darling. Or
go down to the cape, go explore. Go get a
(22:53):
little bungalow and stay in it for a night. Go
walk on the beach. Go to a cranberry boggin. It's
cranberry picking season right now. Go find a cranberry bug.
Go find an apple field where they're apple orchard where
they're picking apples. In a pumpkin field where they're picking
pumpkins and they have a hay ride. Go explore. There's
(23:17):
so much beauty around every corner, the hills with the
gold and the red and the yellow, and the little
white steeples poking up. Oh my gosh. Drive up to Maine,
Drive up to New Hampshire, Drive down to Connecticut. Catch
the train. Go explore. It is such a vibrant, amazing,
(23:40):
passionate area. Go tour the old North Church. Stand there
and say one of by land, two of by sea,
and I on the opposite shore shall be. Go find
the graves of Paul Revere. Go look at the silver
that he smithed.
Speaker 6 (23:58):
Right, I move here for a reason and there's so
much beauty and history and things to be explored in
the city.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Do you have a car.
Speaker 4 (24:11):
No, I had to sell it when I moved sadly.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
Well, there's great mass transit there. Do you go to
Boston Commons. Did you go on the swan boats this summer?
Speaker 4 (24:24):
I did.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
End My friend life is waiting like a sweet, delicious,
juicy apple waiting to be picked. You live in one
of the prettiest places in the world. There is nothing
like the holidays in Boston. The white candles, the single
(24:45):
white candles that you're going to see in every window
of every house that was built in the eighteen hundreds.
It's spectacular.
Speaker 4 (24:54):
Absolutely.
Speaker 6 (24:55):
I there's everything out there for me to go explore.
Speaker 4 (25:00):
I can do that by myself.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Yes you can, Yes you can. I know because I
did by myself. Well, I wasn't by myself. I had
a four year old boy, my son, with me. But
we explored. We climbed every tree that he could climb
in Boston Commons. We rode the swan boats every day.
We went to the North End and had Mike's Canoli's
and lemon ice all summer long. In the fall, we
(25:24):
went on to Apple orchards and on wagon rides, and
we went up to New Hampshire and to Maine, and
we learned how to ski and the hills up there
in the winter, and we spent Thanksgiving and Christmas looking
at lights in the windows, and we went to the
Old North Church and we did all those things. We
(25:47):
loved it.
Speaker 6 (25:49):
I can't wait to experience that.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Go live your life fully, and in doing so, God
will bring people into your life that will enrich your life.
Some of them will only stay for a season, like
the friend you just said goodbye to, but the lessons
that he taught you will be lessons for life, and
(26:12):
some of them will stay for more than a season,
and some of them will be a part of your
life for the rest of your life.
Speaker 4 (26:20):
I love that. Thank you.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
You're going to be just fine, young man. God bless you.
Speaker 6 (26:27):
I can't explain enough how much it means to both
twenty three year old and six year old me, who
would listen to the Delilah Show every single night, to
be hearing from you now.
Speaker 4 (26:39):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
Logan. There is a season for everything, and unfortunately you
have to accept that this plan that you had, this
hope that you had for a future. Your partner did
not share it, and now you are in a season
of growth, a season where you get to discover all
(27:04):
sorts of amazing things about yourself and about this dynamic
city that you live in. Good luck and God bless you,
Thank you, good night, have a great night. Beth has
lost both of her best friends in this season of grief.
(27:25):
Her story is filled with heartfelt love, so much love,
and so much sadness. I am going to let her
share her story with you right now. Hi, good evening.
You've called the Delilah Show. My name is Beth, So
tell me who is on your heart, han, tell me
who you're thinking of.
Speaker 3 (27:46):
So six months ago I lost my two best friends,
my mom and my sister, within six weeks of each other.
And I'm still struggling a little bit with that. Getting
back her with Mom. Every day it seems a little
bit better. I can smile when I see her picture,
I can laugh thinking about things. She was the best mom.
(28:10):
God knew I needed the best, so he gave me her,
is what I always say. And my sister was my
big sister and was diagnosed with cancer last June and
passed away within less than a year. And then Mom
passed away six weeks later, and it's just been incredibly hard.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
Do you think after your sister was called home, your
mom just couldn't stand up under that pain.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
And here's the thing. Mom had Parkinson's and had not
been well for about five years, and she had declared
she was in a health care facility, which was the
best ever. I mean, they have to be there. I'm
glad she was where she was because they loved her
almost as much as we did. And she been declining
(29:01):
for quite some time. And I do think that since
is passing kind of just accelerated that. But you know,
she was eighty four, well she was eighty three, would
have been eighty four a few weeks later, and this
was sixty two. And I've just had an incredibly hard
(29:21):
time with my sister's.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
Passing because it's not fair.
Speaker 3 (29:26):
Said it, but it's how I feel sometimes. It's just
not fair.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
It's not And you look around and you see so
much evil and people that are hard hearted and cruel
and hurting other people and they don't even have a
dan cavity.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
She was a registered nurse. She has taken care of
so many people in and out of the hospital in
and out of her life. You know, just she was
a born caretaker and the amount of people that expressed
that her celebration of life was just incredible.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
Can I share two things with you that helped me
when I lost my boys?
Speaker 3 (30:14):
Oh my gosh, I don't even know how you do that.
I don't know how you would even put one foot
in front of the other. I would love to hear.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
The first that I will share with you came from
a friend named Rory Feeke who's a Christian singer, songwriter, artist,
and he lost his wife to cancer a little bit
after I lost my first son, a little bit before
I lost my second son, and he heard about my
(30:47):
son's suicide and he reached out and called me and
he said, I want to share something with you that
has given me the ability to get through. And I said, yes, please,
And he said, your boys are much more a part
of your future than they are a part of your past,
(31:09):
so look towards the future. And I snapped back at him.
I mean, it was a knee jerk reaction, and I said,
how dare you say that I have no future with them?
I don't get to.
Speaker 5 (31:23):
Sammy didn't even get his braces off neither one of
them got to go to college. I don't get to
meet their future wives. I don't get to hold their
future children. Now can you say that? And he said, Delilah,
because both your boys had faith in God. Therefore you
know exactly where they are. They are not lost. They
(31:47):
are in heaven with the Lord, and one day you
will be there.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
And he said, and here's the key that keeps me going,
that keeps me sane. He said, you will never again
fear death. You will welcome it with anticipation, knowing that
when your time hear is through, you'll be reunited.
Speaker 3 (32:11):
He's right.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
And I said, Okay, say that again slowly so I
can understand. And he said again, your boys are much
more a part of your future than they are a
part of your past. And the same is true for
your sister and your mama.
Speaker 3 (32:32):
That is, And I do you know, I take comfort
de Lailah knowing that they're in heaven with my dad
and my grandma and both grandparents both set to grandparents.
It just sometimes doesn't make my heart ache any less.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
It's different for me knowing that they're in heaven. Oh yeah,
it is a totally different perspective. Knowing they're in heaven
because I knew that the minute they passed. Then it
is thinking I now will look forward to when God
(33:10):
calls me home so that we can be reunited. Totally
different perspective.
Speaker 3 (33:16):
Yes, I can see that. I've got to mold that
in my brain a little bit. I can see that.
Speaker 1 (33:25):
So that was the first thing I would share with you.
And the second thing is this, all of our days
are numbered before a single one comes to pass. God says,
I knew you before I formed you, before the foundations
of the world were in place. I knew you. So
(33:48):
God knew both my boys and my mother, and my
father and my brother before he created the world he
planned on making them. And then he says this, all
of your days are numbered before a single one comes
to pass. If you are going to live five days,
(34:11):
five thousand days, or five hundred thousand days, God knows
before the umbilical cord is cut. So there is nothing
that your sister could have done, that you could have
done to change the day God was going to call
her home.
Speaker 3 (34:31):
No, there's not. I just missed my big sister so bad.
But I know that's just a part of it. You know,
I've started grief counseling, and I'm so happy that I've
done that.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
It saved my life. Had I not gone to grief counseling,
I wouldn't be here with you.
Speaker 3 (34:52):
Oh my gosh, what to say?
Speaker 1 (34:56):
So here's the thing. People used to think that when
somebody that we love died, it left a hole in
our heart, but that over time that hole got smaller
and diminished until it was just a little pinhole. That's
not true. Anybody who's lost anybody they loved knows that's
(35:17):
a ballface lie it is.
Speaker 3 (35:19):
I you know, I don't know why I said that,
because now that you say that, what you just said,
that is absolutely true. We lost bad six years ago
in Delilah, those days that it feels like it was yesterday.
Speaker 1 (35:30):
Yeah, the hole doesn't diminish, it doesn't get smaller. But
your life grows around the hole. Yes, your life will
grow around the hole. And as hard as it is
to believe, and I can't, I don't know how I
would go on. If God called my sister home. There
(35:51):
are half a dozen women I can count them on
one hand that mean the world to me. Yep, And
my my sister is a person that I admire and
respect and cherish, and if God were to call her
home before me, that whole would never diminish. It would
(36:12):
just get bigger, if anything.
Speaker 3 (36:15):
Right right, And you know, it's maybe odd at fifty
six years old, does this sounds. I was always a
moment's girl right up until the day she passed away,
And so there's a giant hole where she's at. But
you know, I can I don't wouldn't want either, want
them to suffer. And so with Mama, you know, I
(36:39):
feel blessed that she's not suffering anymore and that she's
back with Dad again. I'm happy that this isn't suffering
anymore and that she's where she's at. And I know that,
and I know someday I'll see her again and we
will reunite.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
I'm just sad, yeah, of course, because they're a huge,
huge part of who you are and every memory and
every holiday and every birthday and every sunrise and every sunset.
Speaker 3 (37:11):
Yes, yes, that's for sure. But I still have my
amazing big brother and my sister in law and my
brother in law, and I'm very grateful for those people
and everybody else who has supported all of us through
all of this.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
Well, I'm going to say a prayer for you and Beth.
I promise you the Lord is going to get you
through this. I promise you that.
Speaker 3 (37:40):
He already has. Delilah, I see the way He works
in me so much in the time, the fact that I,
like I said, I can look at pictures of my mom,
or I'll think of something that she would say a lot,
and I can just smile or laugh because that was Mom.
Is God working, That's not me.
Speaker 1 (38:01):
Well, I'm going to play a song for you. God,
bless you.
Speaker 3 (38:06):
Thank you so much, and that as you as well.
You as well.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
You have a good night.
Speaker 3 (38:13):
You too, Delilah, thank you so much for everything. I
appreciate you taking the time to talk to me.
Speaker 1 (38:19):
Beth. You are such a sweet, sweet, sweet woman. I
know all too well what true loss feels like. I
know the depth of pain when you just can't breathe.
The weight of grief is crushing. But never forget where
your best friends are, where they reside. Your mama, your
(38:43):
sister are in the arms of God, and one day
you will be too. But not today, Please not today.
Today is a season for you to carry on their
legacy of love. As I wrap up today's pot I
want to remind you that as we are literally changing seasons,
(39:04):
we are also going through different phases in our lives.
We can't control that. We cannot control. I cannot control
the season that my body is going through. That I
am no longer in a season of giving birth raising children.
While I am raising children, but not ones that I
(39:26):
gave birth to. That season ended many years ago. The
only advice I have for you and for myself is
to trust in the Lord in all these seasons. Be
there for those who need you in any way you
can be there. Be present, be emotionally available, be invested. Give,
(39:49):
give from your heart, give your time, give your energy,
give your love. I will be back next week with
another episode of Have a Little Faith with de Lilah
Delah
Hello, my friend. Hello, Welcome to the season of gratitude,
the season of Thanksgiving, the season where we celebrate Thanksgiving.
But really we should be celebrating Thanksgiving and gratitude. I
think all year long. I think year round, we should
(00:24):
be celebrating the season of Thanksgiving. To everything. There is
a season and a time for every purpose under heavens.
Have you ever heard that. There's a song that came
out I think in the sixties, Turn Turn, Turn, and
it talks about it's actually straight from scriptures for everything
(00:48):
there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven.
It's a reflection on the natural rhythm, the natural cycles
of life. Every thing, everything has its appointed time, a
time to be born, a time to die, a time
(01:09):
to plant, a time to harvest. There's a time for sorrow,
there's a time for joy. Our problem is we like
to think we're in control of those seasons. By now,
I'm sure you've seen the footage of Hurricane what is
it Melissa hitting Jamaica two hundred and forty mile an hour. Wins.
(01:33):
There is no way to control or redirect storms like that,
And in the same way, we don't get to control
or redirect or decide when these seasons are going to
happen in our life. That is up to the Almighty.
(01:57):
That's what my belief teaches me shows me, is that
it's the Lord that orchestrates the seasons, both literally and spiritually.
There is a time to fall in love. For some people,
they are meant to be a couple. They desire from childhood,
(02:23):
from early adulthood, they long to be connected with another
human being. There is a time to be a couple.
There is a time to start a family. There is
a time to move to let your career take priority.
There's a time for all these things, and when we
(02:45):
try to force them, it usually doesn't end well. But
when we trust in God's timing, Oh my word, everything unfolds.
When we trust in the timing of the Almighty. When
we can rest in knowing that his plan is probably
better than our plan and we should let it unfold,
(03:08):
miracles happen up. First in our podcast today, we're going
to talk to Hannah. Hannah is an example of learning patients.
Hannah is in a beautiful relationship. She's recently become engaged,
and she is having such a hard time understanding the
season that her fiance is in right now. She is
(03:32):
in the season of let's talk, let's talk, let's see
each other, let's plan everything, and he's in the season
of slow down. I gotta get through school first. Let's
let Hannah tell her story and let's listen to her
and help her navigate the season that they are going through. Hi,
(03:52):
good evening. You've called it Elilah show. Who is this?
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Oh my goodness, I can't believe you answer.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
This is Hannah.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Hi, Hannah, welcome aboard. What can I do to add
a note of joy to your night?
Speaker 3 (04:10):
Well?
Speaker 2 (04:10):
I grew up listening to you, first of all, and
I haven't listened to you in probably almost ten years,
so it's been a long time.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
How did you find your way home to me?
Speaker 2 (04:19):
Hannah on the way back from a road trip. And
my fiance Zachary listens to you as well, and it's
kind of like been a nighttime thing for us, and
it's we always find you very soothing for the soul.
Speaker 4 (04:33):
So thank you very.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Much for that. So tell me about this man that
you love.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
So we are engaged right now. I've been with him
for three years. He's the love of my life. One
of those things that kind of when you stay patient
and you pray, it kind of comes out of nowhere.
So my advice is to just stay patient and trust
God's timing because it kind of came out of nowhere.
(04:59):
He's actually the brother of my best friend's boyfriend and
now fiance too.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
So so you and your best friend are marrying brothers.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Yeah, and we're now going to be sisters in law.
So it's a crazy story. We were friends and I
never would have seen it coming in a million years,
but I knew right away that you know, he was
a one, and yeah, it was. This story is just insane, but.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
This story is so sweet.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Yeah. So and now we're we got engaged in December
and Washington, d C. Which is a place where we
went years ago as friends and quote unquote fell in
love with each other, but stage friends. So we just
got engaged there in December, and now we're planning our wedding.
So we'll get married here in South Jersey.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
So when are you getting married?
Speaker 2 (05:54):
So we got engaged in December and the weddings in
two years, so we wanted time. I just graduated with
my master's in social work and I'm a full time
preschool teacher this year.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
With two year olds.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
So I'm very busy, and he's back in school and
he's very busy. So we're doing life and juggling a
lot of things, and so we wanted to plan it out.
And we still both live at home and are working
and doing a lot of stuff.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Hanna, this is like a Hallmark movie. You realize that
the school teacher, social worker loves children, the cute guy
whose brother is marrying her best this is like a
Hallmark Christmas movie. We just need to throw in like
(06:42):
a mean evil like landlord or something who tries to
stop the two happy couples, and then love wins and
triumphs and you go on a sleigh ride off into
the sunset.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
It was funny because I did call tonight for some
advice because we don't often argue, but tonight we got
in a little spat and I finally said I was
gonna let him calm down.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
And give him space.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
And I never I never give space then, So it's
funny because I was an independent girl in my whole
life until I met him. So I was like, maybe
she you know, she's the one to go to advice
for because I always just pray. But I was like,
maybe I'll try Delilah.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
So it's definitely God brought me.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Here well only for me to say you were on
the right track and you need to pray. I was
never when I was young, the kind of person that
could give anybody space. My husband will say things like,
can we not have this conversation right now because you're
angry and I'm tired, and can we just put it
to rest and then we'll pick it up later when
(07:47):
when I'm rested in what what do you mean put
it to rest? We're not gonna put it to rest
because I got to talk this thing through right now.
It doesn't work very well. Yeah, so can I ask
what the little spat was about?
Speaker 2 (08:00):
We just, you know, we're both very busy in life
right now, and he's doing five classes. He's in school
for managerial accounting, which is a very tough degree, and
he has a very tough course load, and I'm working
full time, so we're both juggling a lot. So it's
hard to find time for each other right now in
this season and now starting the wedding plan. So I
(08:23):
guess figuring out time for each other and seeing eye
to eye on the little things, but I guess it's
hard to you know, you got to learn to focus
less on that, always agreeing on the little thing.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
Hannah, have you ever been around a garden, have you
ever grown a garden, or have you ever known anyone
that grew a garden, a flower garden or a vegetable garden.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
I do love nature and gardens, but I've never grown
one because I still live at home. So it's an
aspiration to have one one day.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Okay, but you said South Jersey, right, yes, garden capital
of the world, best tomatoes, best corn ever.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
M hm.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
So does your mom, or your grandma, or your neighbor,
anybody garden and raise things.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
My next door neighbor actually when they give us wonderful tomatoes.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Okay, So if you were to look in your next
door neighbor's yard right now, I guarantee you her garden
does not look spectacular, and in two months it really
won't look spectacular because for everything, there is a season,
and fall and winter are a season that for those
(09:31):
of us that love to garden look to other people
like there's something wrong. There's not. The earth is resting,
The earth is resting, and the leaves are falling, providing
nutrients for the ground, for the dirt, for the worms,
for everything we need for the garden we're going to
(09:51):
plant next spring. But for everything there is a season
and a time for every purpose under heaven. And right now,
while he finishes up this degree so that he can
have a life with you in the future, it is
not the time to go out and pick tomatoes. You
can't say, but I need tomatoes now, the garden says,
(10:13):
I'm sorry, it's tomato season's over. Right now is the
time that the ground is preparing for next spring when
you plant tomatoes again. So right now while he is preparing.
Do you know in the Old Testament, I've heard you
mentioned God more than once in the Old Testament when
a couple got engaged the wedding feast whereen Jesus turned
(10:38):
the water into wine. That whole story is so precious
because the man would go ask the woman to be
his wife, and then he would withdraw from her for
a year or more, because he would go prepare their home,
their future home. And when his father said it is
(10:58):
time the home is done. My son is a man.
He has done what he set out to accomplish. He
can care for his bride the father of the groom
would be the one to determine when the wedding feast was.
But she didn't see him during that time, right because
(11:19):
it was a season of preparation. You probably see him
or text him every day for the most part, and
you're thinking that's not enough.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
Well, it's funny because it was not like this in
the beginning. And you know, it gets almost, in my opinion,
worse as time goes.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
By, gets worse as far as the time he has
for you or.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
No, no, no, I'm saying, like wanting to see them more.
Speaker 5 (11:48):
Because you're in love and you thrilled to see him.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
So he is either busy for one of two reasons.
Either he is emotionally unavailable, in which case you should
not marry him, or he is preparing to be your
husband and he is hyper focusing on what he's got
to get done, in which case you should understand that
(12:14):
and recognize that this is for your future.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
Thank you. That was a good metaphor. I liked that one.
I've never heard that one.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
You guys are going to be fine. I suspect you
will have a beautiful wedding.
Speaker 4 (12:32):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Remember, weddings are just weddings, it's the marriage that counts.
A wedding is an event, a marriage is a covenant.
So focus on the covenant, the promises, the being available
to one another, the respect, the cherishing, and don't worry
(12:54):
about wedding plans right now. Your mom will figure that
that part out.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
She's already starting.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Of course she is. Of course she is. That's funny, you,
my friend, have a beautiful night. Thank you for calling.
Can I say a prayer for you?
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Yes? And may I give you a song too. It's
actually going to be our first dance, if that's okay?
Speaker 1 (13:21):
Yes, what song? And by me, Benny King, I will
play that for you. Now, let me say a prayer
for you, Father God. I thank you Lord. I thank
you for Hannah getting through on the phones. I thank
you that it was first time tonight she got through.
I thank you God for bringing this beautiful young man
into her life. I thank you that she and her
(13:42):
friend will be sisters in law. That's almost as wonderful
of a gift as the fact that you brought her
such a wonderful man. I thank you God that he
has focused, that he is trying to complete his degree,
that he's not out partying, that he's not losing focus,
that he's not wasting his time and money, but that
(14:03):
he's focused and wants to finish this chapter in life,
the season in life, so that he can provide for
his wife and his family. I pray, Lord God, that
you would give Hannah patience. Don't give her lessons to
teach her patients. God, just supernaturally reach down from on
(14:23):
high and just put patience into her young heart. Let
her know, Lord God, that for everything there is a
time and a purpose, and you're working everything out. Father.
I pray these two would have a lifetime of love,
a lifetime of joy, that their covenant would be strong,
and that your Holy Spirit would see them through everything. Father,
(14:47):
when the days are dark, when the trials and tribulations hit,
when grief hits or sadness, I pray you would sustain
them and make their love all the stronger. I asked
them in your precious and holy name. Amen.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
Amen, thank you so much.
Speaker 3 (15:05):
You have a blast night.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
You too, honey, God bless you. You just heard from Hannah,
who's engaged in planning her future. Up next, we're going
to hear from Logan. Logan was planning his future, built
his life around someone, planned every day to spend with
this someone, and now they exited stage right they said, yeah,
(15:34):
I was only kidding. That's not my plan. Let's listen
to Logan's story and see if we can help him
through this season of grief. This is Logan, Hi, Logan, welcome.
What can I do for you on this autumn night.
Speaker 4 (15:52):
I've been a lifetime listener of your show.
Speaker 6 (15:54):
I remember found it finding you when I was maybe
like sixth listening to the radio and going to bed
to your show every night. And I recently last weekend,
was broken up with for the first time, and I
found myself looking for some guidance or just some way
(16:17):
to understand how you can feel so fulfilled by somebody
and so loved and then and then it just it's
gone in one second. I met this person when I
moved to a new city last year. Six days after
(16:38):
I moved here, I met him, and I so just
my whole life in the city has been defined by
time that I've spent with this one person. And now
I just feel so lost and I'm unsure of what
of how I can make myself feel at home here
without the person that felt like home.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
This is like, this is like a three hour movie
script here, Logan, that you're describing, you realize this is
like every song Adele ever recorded, right, Maybe Adele and
Elton and Selene all wrapped up. Yeah, So how old
are you?
Speaker 4 (17:19):
I'm twenty three.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
And this is your first true love, first big heartbreak.
Speaker 5 (17:24):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (17:25):
And was there fight, disagreement, stress, a breakdown and communication
leading up to the breakup?
Speaker 4 (17:35):
I want to say no.
Speaker 6 (17:37):
It was a situation where I felt like everything was
great all the time.
Speaker 4 (17:45):
And maybe that was me not being able.
Speaker 6 (17:48):
To voice when I felt frustrated for fear of confrontation
and fallout, but.
Speaker 4 (17:58):
It felt like everything was good.
Speaker 6 (18:00):
In fact, happened unexpectedly in the middle of a date
that I had planned with the caveat that.
Speaker 4 (18:07):
I don't think that he had expected it to happen either.
Speaker 6 (18:09):
It just kind of happened, And it was like one
of those breakups that's like on good terms, like I'm.
Speaker 4 (18:15):
Nothing but love and respect, but it's hard to.
Speaker 6 (18:18):
Like, like I almost wish that I could be upset more.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
How do you accidentally break up? Logan? I don't know.
When you love somebody and they are your home and
you've built your world around them and then they say, oh,
never mind, I don't want this life that we've built
around each other. How does that happen? Accidentally?
Speaker 4 (18:42):
I think maybe I just didn't see the signs.
Speaker 6 (18:47):
I mean, he just got his master's degree and he's
not sure what's next in his life. So I could
see that maybe he didn't know how to envision the
future with me, if he couldn't even envision his own,
I thought that I could be there.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Okay, we're talking apples and oranges here. A career, a profession,
choice of where you want to settle down. Those are
things you work out with the person that you're building
your life with, not by yourself, and then you say,
oh bye the bye h. That's that's what human relationships are.
(19:26):
It's give and take and compromise and let's figure this
out together. That's when you if you're all in, you're
all in. It sounds like you were all in and
he led you to believe he was all in, but
he wasn't in at all. Yeah, you were all in.
You were one hundred percent. This is my person, this
(19:48):
is who I want to, you know, be on a
front porch, sipping tea in a rocking chair one day
and you thought that he had the same tensions a
need didn't have those intentions at all. If he can
accidentally break up with you, oh, let's go on a date,
and by the way, I'm thinking I might move on
(20:09):
down the highway of life without you by my side.
Speaker 6 (20:13):
You're right, and I feel like I deserve to be
prioritized in the same way that I prioritize others.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
You do when you're in a relationship that is an adult, committed,
loving relationship and you've talked it through. I assume you
guys talked and agreed that you guys were an exclusive couple. Yes,
then you very much deserve to be prioritized. So it
(20:43):
sounds like his actions were not lining up in alignment.
If you will with his words.
Speaker 6 (20:52):
Yeah, I would say so, as much as I want
to believe that it wasn't intentional.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
What nobody accidentally pledges their heart to another person and
then says, oh, by the way, I was kind of
only getting You're right. I mean I used to do
that all the time when I was young, When I
was younger than you, because I was a hot mess.
I had been through trauma, I had been through sexual abuse,
and I meant it when I said it. I meant
(21:21):
I loved you when I said it, But then two
hours later, when I had a mood swing because it
was a trauma reaction, I didn't mean it anymore. And
I would gaslight the poor guys and say, why did
you believe me when I say I loved you? What's
wrong with you? Why would you even think that I
meant it when I promised you I.
Speaker 4 (21:42):
Loved you absolutely, and I believed it for a.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
Year and there were really really nice people that believed
me too, And I did far worse things than your
partner did. So I'm not judging him or saying he's
a bad person, but he is not emotionally available, which
means he's probably been through trauma and isn't healed.
Speaker 6 (22:09):
Right, So then how do I find myself in this
city now that it's just me again?
Speaker 1 (22:16):
Well, you moved there for a reason, right, and that
reason wasn't him?
Speaker 3 (22:21):
Right?
Speaker 1 (22:23):
Did you move there for work? Did you move there
for opportunity? Where did you move to? First off? What city?
Speaker 4 (22:29):
Often?
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Oh, oh my gosh, honey, go to the North End,
Go get a canoli. That's all you gotta do. You
got to go to the North End and get a
canol and wander around, especially now that the holidays are coming.
Oh my gosh, the North End is so darling. Or
go down to the cape, go explore. Go get a
(22:53):
little bungalow and stay in it for a night. Go
walk on the beach. Go to a cranberry boggin. It's
cranberry picking season right now. Go find a cranberry bug.
Go find an apple field where they're apple orchard where
they're picking apples. In a pumpkin field where they're picking
pumpkins and they have a hay ride. Go explore. There's
(23:17):
so much beauty around every corner, the hills with the
gold and the red and the yellow, and the little
white steeples poking up. Oh my gosh. Drive up to Maine,
Drive up to New Hampshire, Drive down to Connecticut. Catch
the train. Go explore. It is such a vibrant, amazing,
(23:40):
passionate area. Go tour the old North Church. Stand there
and say one of by land, two of by sea,
and I on the opposite shore shall be. Go find
the graves of Paul Revere. Go look at the silver
that he smithed.
Speaker 6 (23:58):
Right, I move here for a reason and there's so
much beauty and history and things to be explored in
the city.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Do you have a car.
Speaker 4 (24:11):
No, I had to sell it when I moved sadly.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
Well, there's great mass transit there. Do you go to
Boston Commons. Did you go on the swan boats this summer?
Speaker 4 (24:24):
I did.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
End My friend life is waiting like a sweet, delicious,
juicy apple waiting to be picked. You live in one
of the prettiest places in the world. There is nothing
like the holidays in Boston. The white candles, the single
(24:45):
white candles that you're going to see in every window
of every house that was built in the eighteen hundreds.
It's spectacular.
Speaker 4 (24:54):
Absolutely.
Speaker 6 (24:55):
I there's everything out there for me to go explore.
Speaker 4 (25:00):
I can do that by myself.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Yes you can, Yes you can. I know because I
did by myself. Well, I wasn't by myself. I had
a four year old boy, my son, with me. But
we explored. We climbed every tree that he could climb
in Boston Commons. We rode the swan boats every day.
We went to the North End and had Mike's Canoli's
and lemon ice all summer long. In the fall, we
(25:24):
went on to Apple orchards and on wagon rides, and
we went up to New Hampshire and to Maine, and
we learned how to ski and the hills up there
in the winter, and we spent Thanksgiving and Christmas looking
at lights in the windows, and we went to the
Old North Church and we did all those things. We
(25:47):
loved it.
Speaker 6 (25:49):
I can't wait to experience that.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Go live your life fully, and in doing so, God
will bring people into your life that will enrich your life.
Some of them will only stay for a season, like
the friend you just said goodbye to, but the lessons
that he taught you will be lessons for life, and
(26:12):
some of them will stay for more than a season,
and some of them will be a part of your
life for the rest of your life.
Speaker 4 (26:20):
I love that. Thank you.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
You're going to be just fine, young man. God bless you.
Speaker 6 (26:27):
I can't explain enough how much it means to both
twenty three year old and six year old me, who
would listen to the Delilah Show every single night, to
be hearing from you now.
Speaker 4 (26:39):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
Logan. There is a season for everything, and unfortunately you
have to accept that this plan that you had, this
hope that you had for a future. Your partner did
not share it, and now you are in a season
of growth, a season where you get to discover all
(27:04):
sorts of amazing things about yourself and about this dynamic
city that you live in. Good luck and God bless you,
Thank you, good night, have a great night. Beth has
lost both of her best friends in this season of grief.
(27:25):
Her story is filled with heartfelt love, so much love,
and so much sadness. I am going to let her
share her story with you right now. Hi, good evening.
You've called the Delilah Show. My name is Beth, So
tell me who is on your heart, han, tell me
who you're thinking of.
Speaker 3 (27:46):
So six months ago I lost my two best friends,
my mom and my sister, within six weeks of each other.
And I'm still struggling a little bit with that. Getting
back her with Mom. Every day it seems a little
bit better. I can smile when I see her picture,
I can laugh thinking about things. She was the best mom.
(28:10):
God knew I needed the best, so he gave me her,
is what I always say. And my sister was my
big sister and was diagnosed with cancer last June and
passed away within less than a year. And then Mom
passed away six weeks later, and it's just been incredibly hard.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
Do you think after your sister was called home, your
mom just couldn't stand up under that pain.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
And here's the thing. Mom had Parkinson's and had not
been well for about five years, and she had declared
she was in a health care facility, which was the
best ever. I mean, they have to be there. I'm
glad she was where she was because they loved her
almost as much as we did. And she been declining
(29:01):
for quite some time. And I do think that since
is passing kind of just accelerated that. But you know,
she was eighty four, well she was eighty three, would
have been eighty four a few weeks later, and this
was sixty two. And I've just had an incredibly hard
(29:21):
time with my sister's.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
Passing because it's not fair.
Speaker 3 (29:26):
Said it, but it's how I feel sometimes. It's just
not fair.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
It's not And you look around and you see so
much evil and people that are hard hearted and cruel
and hurting other people and they don't even have a
dan cavity.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
She was a registered nurse. She has taken care of
so many people in and out of the hospital in
and out of her life. You know, just she was
a born caretaker and the amount of people that expressed
that her celebration of life was just incredible.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
Can I share two things with you that helped me
when I lost my boys?
Speaker 3 (30:14):
Oh my gosh, I don't even know how you do that.
I don't know how you would even put one foot
in front of the other. I would love to hear.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
The first that I will share with you came from
a friend named Rory Feeke who's a Christian singer, songwriter, artist,
and he lost his wife to cancer a little bit
after I lost my first son, a little bit before
I lost my second son, and he heard about my
(30:47):
son's suicide and he reached out and called me and
he said, I want to share something with you that
has given me the ability to get through. And I said, yes, please,
And he said, your boys are much more a part
of your future than they are a part of your past,
(31:09):
so look towards the future. And I snapped back at him.
I mean, it was a knee jerk reaction, and I said,
how dare you say that I have no future with them?
I don't get to.
Speaker 5 (31:23):
Sammy didn't even get his braces off neither one of
them got to go to college. I don't get to
meet their future wives. I don't get to hold their
future children. Now can you say that? And he said, Delilah,
because both your boys had faith in God. Therefore you
know exactly where they are. They are not lost. They
(31:47):
are in heaven with the Lord, and one day you
will be there.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
And he said, and here's the key that keeps me going,
that keeps me sane. He said, you will never again
fear death. You will welcome it with anticipation, knowing that
when your time hear is through, you'll be reunited.
Speaker 3 (32:11):
He's right.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
And I said, Okay, say that again slowly so I
can understand. And he said again, your boys are much
more a part of your future than they are a
part of your past. And the same is true for
your sister and your mama.
Speaker 3 (32:32):
That is, And I do you know, I take comfort
de Lailah knowing that they're in heaven with my dad
and my grandma and both grandparents both set to grandparents.
It just sometimes doesn't make my heart ache any less.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
It's different for me knowing that they're in heaven. Oh yeah,
it is a totally different perspective. Knowing they're in heaven
because I knew that the minute they passed. Then it
is thinking I now will look forward to when God
(33:10):
calls me home so that we can be reunited. Totally
different perspective.
Speaker 3 (33:16):
Yes, I can see that. I've got to mold that
in my brain a little bit. I can see that.
Speaker 1 (33:25):
So that was the first thing I would share with you.
And the second thing is this, all of our days
are numbered before a single one comes to pass. God says,
I knew you before I formed you, before the foundations
of the world were in place. I knew you. So
(33:48):
God knew both my boys and my mother, and my
father and my brother before he created the world he
planned on making them. And then he says this, all
of your days are numbered before a single one comes
to pass. If you are going to live five days,
(34:11):
five thousand days, or five hundred thousand days, God knows
before the umbilical cord is cut. So there is nothing
that your sister could have done, that you could have
done to change the day God was going to call
her home.
Speaker 3 (34:31):
No, there's not. I just missed my big sister so bad.
But I know that's just a part of it. You know,
I've started grief counseling, and I'm so happy that I've
done that.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
It saved my life. Had I not gone to grief counseling,
I wouldn't be here with you.
Speaker 3 (34:52):
Oh my gosh, what to say?
Speaker 1 (34:56):
So here's the thing. People used to think that when
somebody that we love died, it left a hole in
our heart, but that over time that hole got smaller
and diminished until it was just a little pinhole. That's
not true. Anybody who's lost anybody they loved knows that's
(35:17):
a ballface lie it is.
Speaker 3 (35:19):
I you know, I don't know why I said that,
because now that you say that, what you just said,
that is absolutely true. We lost bad six years ago
in Delilah, those days that it feels like it was yesterday.
Speaker 1 (35:30):
Yeah, the hole doesn't diminish, it doesn't get smaller. But
your life grows around the hole. Yes, your life will
grow around the hole. And as hard as it is
to believe, and I can't, I don't know how I
would go on. If God called my sister home. There
(35:51):
are half a dozen women I can count them on
one hand that mean the world to me. Yep, And
my my sister is a person that I admire and
respect and cherish, and if God were to call her
home before me, that whole would never diminish. It would
(36:12):
just get bigger, if anything.
Speaker 3 (36:15):
Right right, And you know, it's maybe odd at fifty
six years old, does this sounds. I was always a
moment's girl right up until the day she passed away,
And so there's a giant hole where she's at. But
you know, I can I don't wouldn't want either, want
them to suffer. And so with Mama, you know, I
(36:39):
feel blessed that she's not suffering anymore and that she's
back with Dad again. I'm happy that this isn't suffering
anymore and that she's where she's at. And I know that,
and I know someday I'll see her again and we
will reunite.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
I'm just sad, yeah, of course, because they're a huge,
huge part of who you are and every memory and
every holiday and every birthday and every sunrise and every sunset.
Speaker 3 (37:11):
Yes, yes, that's for sure. But I still have my
amazing big brother and my sister in law and my
brother in law, and I'm very grateful for those people
and everybody else who has supported all of us through
all of this.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
Well, I'm going to say a prayer for you and Beth.
I promise you the Lord is going to get you
through this. I promise you that.
Speaker 3 (37:40):
He already has. Delilah, I see the way He works
in me so much in the time, the fact that I,
like I said, I can look at pictures of my mom,
or I'll think of something that she would say a lot,
and I can just smile or laugh because that was Mom.
Is God working, That's not me.
Speaker 1 (38:01):
Well, I'm going to play a song for you. God,
bless you.
Speaker 3 (38:06):
Thank you so much, and that as you as well.
You as well.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
You have a good night.
Speaker 3 (38:13):
You too, Delilah, thank you so much for everything. I
appreciate you taking the time to talk to me.
Speaker 1 (38:19):
Beth. You are such a sweet, sweet, sweet woman. I
know all too well what true loss feels like. I
know the depth of pain when you just can't breathe.
The weight of grief is crushing. But never forget where
your best friends are, where they reside. Your mama, your
(38:43):
sister are in the arms of God, and one day
you will be too. But not today, Please not today.
Today is a season for you to carry on their
legacy of love. As I wrap up today's pot I
want to remind you that as we are literally changing seasons,
(39:04):
we are also going through different phases in our lives.
We can't control that. We cannot control. I cannot control
the season that my body is going through. That I
am no longer in a season of giving birth raising children.
While I am raising children, but not ones that I
(39:26):
gave birth to. That season ended many years ago. The
only advice I have for you and for myself is
to trust in the Lord in all these seasons. Be
there for those who need you in any way you
can be there. Be present, be emotionally available, be invested. Give,
(39:49):
give from your heart, give your time, give your energy,
give your love. I will be back next week with
another episode of Have a Little Faith with de Lilah
Delah
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