October 2, 2023 • 33 mins
From Oscar winner to best-selling author, Matthew McConaughey has a way with words and WE ARE LISTENING!
After the success of his memoir "Greenlights"...Matthew molds his life lessons into bite-sized servings for kids of all ages in his first children's book titled "Just Because."
From his approach to marriage, parenting, and where he plans to improve...this truly is a can't miss conversation...Just Because.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is, he said, ayad Ho with Eric Winter and
Rosalind Fantev.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Good afternoon, Hello everyone, Welcome to another episode, he said,
A at the hoo. This is an exciting episode today.
We have a fantastic guest today, this one is That's
what all our guests are, fantastic. We have a lot
of fantastic guests. However, this is one that I'm just
really excited about personally as well.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
I know, it's awesome. It's an amazing one, guys that
we are so honored to be able to bring you.
Speaker 4 (00:31):
Guys this treat.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Joining us today is Oscar winning actor Matthew McConaughey. You
know him obviously from Dallas Buyer's Club, Magic, Mike, Dazed
and Confused, True Detective also a great one as well.
But anyway, he has a new book out right now.
It's his second book, yep. This one is called Just
Because Children's book, and it explores all the contradictions around
(00:57):
us and how they make us who we are. It's
little McConaughey tidbits of knowledge, which I actually I really
love love this book and I can't wait to talk
to him about it.
Speaker 4 (01:08):
I know it's exciting.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
He also founded a foundation with his beautiful wife, Camilla
Elvis called Just Keep Living Foundation, which is dedicated to
empowering high school students by providing them with the tools
to lead active lives and make healthy choices.
Speaker 4 (01:28):
For a better future. That's what I'm talking about. Isn't
that amazing?
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Yeah? You know, he is clearly not just an actor
or performer. This is a guy that is making changes,
making differences constantly in his actions, what he's doing outside
of the business.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
He cares about humanity. He cares about making this world
a better place. So, besides doing incredible work as an
actor Oscar winner by the way, he's also making sure
that he is going to leave legacy, you know, for
him and his family, his children to look up to
him and to follow his footsteps and just contribute to society.
(02:08):
So you know, it's good people.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Oh hello, hello, hello.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Hello, how you doing.
Speaker 5 (02:15):
Good morning, Good morning to do well.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Yeah, thank you for joining us here today.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Thanks man, super excited.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Listen, we're both big fans of yours in general. But
and I know you already have one book on the market,
but and this is another one right out the gate
that to me and I read through it already. I'm
already like this is, this is. I can't wait to
get the kids involved in this book. And also it's
just great for everyone. The little tidbits and knowledge that
(02:45):
you're dropping left this book. What what what inspired you
to go down this path for the next book.
Speaker 5 (02:51):
I mean, as you you know, I mean, I've got
some pretty I think mature messages in there that are
packaged for young people to be able to digest.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
It rhymes, you get some illustrations. It all has a
sort of innocence to it.
Speaker 5 (03:04):
But as you said, some of the themes are things
that I think about and think we could all use.
I know it's things I could use, things I'm trying
to work on. I think there's things we could all
work on to enjoy life a little bit more and
get through this This rodeo called life a little bit better.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
And so you know, I'm I have kids, you started,
I guess I start.
Speaker 5 (03:22):
I'm always seeing and making choices in life now through
the lens and consideration of having them, and that can
be the better a better father. What's their future going
to be? And so I had a dream one night
and I was dreaming these things up and it was
a little bit, a little bit Bob Dylan Diddy through
the dark. Don't mean that is stuck them doing doing
just because I've got skills.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
I mean there is no luck.
Speaker 5 (03:44):
And so I woke up and I started jopping these
things down and looked at it, and I thought I
had a cool song.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
And then I was like, well, this could be great.
Speaker 5 (03:51):
And the children's book, there's some stuff in here that
I think could be valuable for my kids and other
kids and the kid and all of us.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Just to give an example, it's like you just out
of human Just because you can pull it off doesn't
mean that you should do it. Just because you failed
doesn't mean that you blew it. Simple statements like that
that I know our kids can learn a lot from,
but even on a personally nope, we can learn from.
Speaker 4 (04:16):
It's very valuable.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
You know.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
We have two children, you have three. We have two.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
We have an eleven year old daughter and we have
a boy that is five years old. And the girl
she plays a lot of tennis, competitive tennis, you know,
and as a sport, it's such a difficult sport to tackle,
you know, it's a solo sport. And she's going through
as an eleven year old, almost a teenager. She's going
through so much stuff that she's learning and navigating through
(04:39):
the sport that translate to life itself. You know.
Speaker 4 (04:42):
Even yesterday we had this.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
I took her to her class and she was much
playing with a boy and just the conversations that you
have to deal with with the kids to teach them
just because the rules say this and that this doesn't
really mean that it's the right thing to do, Isabella.
So if there's a double bounce and the guy doesn't
call it, but you know that you shouldn't play it,
(05:07):
don't play it. And that whole thing was a fifteen
minute debate of these two kids going at it, you know,
and as a mom, she's right, she's following the rules,
but is it right, you know, and to be and
to be able to teach her that in a way
that she can digest it and don't feel bad about it.
We're just talking about live, Isabella, and it's going to
(05:29):
serve you when it comes.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
To everything in life. You know, just be an honest.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
Transparent kid, which she is, you know, but at some
certain ages, you know, you have to keep reminding them
as parents, and a book like this is a perfect
tool to see, like, let's just sit down and go
one by one, one little paragraph at a time, and
what do you think this means to you and start
that conversation.
Speaker 4 (05:52):
You know, it's really invaluable.
Speaker 5 (05:54):
You just gave me a good one. You just said it.
So you're back to be the author of this. Because
the light is read doesn't mean that they won't run it.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
You know.
Speaker 5 (06:04):
Because the rules are clear doesn't mean that it was
going to follow it. And that's that's a that's a
tough one, especially for young We learn that as we
get older, you know, I mean we all would like
we know, fair fights where the rules are clear are
hard enough to win and when all of a sudden,
(06:24):
you go and you go. There are some categories there,
there are some jobs, there are some phases in life
and people in life where it's it's not even embarrassing
to break the rules. It's just like, dude, that the
vegas foul is in watch this, the gig is in
(06:45):
it's fixed.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Watch I'm fixing it. And it's like, oh wow.
Speaker 5 (06:50):
And for a child to understand that the world can
also be unfair like that where you're trying to teach
them just like, hey, if you follow the rules, it's
still very hard to win. If you if you go
to a game and you and you make the call right,
it's still difficult to win.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
And then tell them that you know it's.
Speaker 5 (07:12):
Cheat.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Oh what you know?
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Your book follows a lot of you know, I know
you're a tennis fan, and I know for a number
of reasons. I just saw you in Jokovic's box at
the Open, which was massive. There.
Speaker 4 (07:29):
You like tennis.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
I can't get enough of it.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
We are like as embedded into the tennis lifestyle. Which
is why I saved a bunch of these quotes from
the book for Sabella, because I think so many of
them apply to tennis and life, because tennis is such
a life sport and the lessons you learned in it.
I mean, we're you know, our daughter plays competitively for
us t A Juniors and she's you know, hours upon
(07:58):
hours a week tournament. It's it's madness, but it's a
it's a sport where you don't There are really no
umpires at the junior level, very few. You call all
your own line calls, you call all your own everything
is as honor.
Speaker 3 (08:11):
System, ridiculous and unfair to pretend that these kids have
the maturity to be able to do these calls properly,
and there's a lot of mistakes done, and then parents
get involved, and.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
It follows this honor system that doesn't make any sense, but.
Speaker 5 (08:27):
It does make sense until it does it expected to
make sense, right, yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Because I mean, are we being old school? Are we
being nostalgic? Are we being old fashioned to say.
Speaker 5 (08:40):
If you call it in, even if it's against you
and it's it's in its match point.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
Or if it's out, you call it out? It Is
this a nostalgic idea.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
For sure?
Speaker 4 (08:52):
Where I where it's hard, it's hard, it's involved, it's hard.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
I think the book where it helps is so you see,
even in the pros right now, they have, you know,
the radar calling the balls, so you sometimes an umpire
in a pro sport can't even tell if the balls
in right right. So now you got this eleven year
old kid trying to call a ball that's literally near
the baseline, anywhere near the way the ball squishes and balances.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Is it in?
Speaker 2 (09:15):
Is it out? There's a saying when in doubt, call
it out. And I'm to the point where I've said Sabella.
If it's that close, play it in because we don't
know if it causes such a controversy. So just because
you think it might be one, or just because it
looks like it's that close, just take the higher road
(09:36):
and play the ball unless you know it is out.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Right right right right? Yeah yeah yeah yeah. And then
you then you.
Speaker 5 (09:45):
If you exaggerate that. We've all seen our kids, these
kids that do this bocked, won't give there a great
shot enough ownership, yeah, to take the win and go.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
No, that was out.
Speaker 5 (09:57):
I was telling you it was out by a quarter
evnch and I saw it, yes, even my sight, and
I'm laying it down. No, we don't have a replay.
But I'm telling you that's the call. And then it's
close enough where you got some people on the.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
Sidellines going boo, that your cheat. I saw it. That's it.
Speaker 5 (10:11):
That's another tough thing where you get you have to
teach kids sometimes No, take ownership.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
You won that point, yep, take that one hundred percent.
Speaker 4 (10:28):
Your memoir. That's how you say it, memoir memoir. Oh,
I said it right.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
Green lights how it affected so many people as an author,
especially because you're showing up about your life.
Speaker 4 (10:41):
How do you feel when people.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
Tell you, oh my god, Matthew, this page or this
chapter was life changing to me.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
How does it feel when you know that you're taching lives?
Speaker 1 (10:53):
It's it's the look.
Speaker 5 (10:55):
That book was the the most truthful extension of me
that I've ever put out.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
So that was the closest piece of art that I
put out. That was to me.
Speaker 5 (11:05):
Hopefully my children will be the closest piece of art
that I put out after they move onto the world.
But that that book, more so than any movie or anything.
I was the author, I was the director, I was
the of the show.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
I wrote. It was about me and my life, my
own experiences.
Speaker 5 (11:18):
But when I hear that from other people, and what
I hoped I would get would come out of the
book is that people would see themselves and me and
I would be seeing myself in them. And I think
that's what I hear from people the most, is they go, yeah,
it was Maybe I bought it because I like it
was a celebrity Matthew, But go after five pages, I
(11:39):
was in and going, oh wow, oh you've gone through
some of this ship.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Oh okay, Oh I screwed up like that too.
Speaker 5 (11:49):
Oh that's a good way to handle that, dang, and
I wish I had handle it that way. Maybe handed
that way next time. It brought up some things I
think that people saw it was. I think people that
say that are telling me it's a very human book,
incredibly personal, but I in some ways for some people,
I guess I hit that sweet spot of when it
is deeply personal but not just you know, only for me,
(12:15):
memoir about me, when it's something you can see in
yourself and you can go, this is about the human
experience we all go through. And that's so that feels
wonderful as an author and as an artist, did.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
You learn something through the process, Like, while you're recounting
your life and what you went through, were you able
to discover something through it?
Speaker 4 (12:34):
That's sprised?
Speaker 5 (12:35):
You discovered that I've remembered a lot more than I
thought I forgot.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
I also discovered that.
Speaker 5 (12:43):
I haven't changed because I thought I had from when
I was just a kid.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
And you've got kids. I mean, how much did you
notice early on? Oh?
Speaker 5 (12:55):
Nature means so much the DNA, they are who they are.
We our nurture guides them. But I was so surprised
we had kids. Oh, I didn't know so much DNA.
I didn't know so much nature over nurture now, and
that surprised me, and so I didn't I realized to
writing the book that oh, essentially questions I had when
(13:17):
I was ten.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
I've answered a lot of those questions.
Speaker 5 (13:21):
But I'm still having questions about the same subject, more
evolved questions, more mature, more thought out questions, smarter but
more experience, but similar, similar questions and seeking similar clarity.
Speaker 4 (13:38):
That's amazing. You've been with Camilla.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
How long?
Speaker 4 (13:41):
How many years.
Speaker 5 (13:42):
We've been together? Sixteen? Mary coming on eleven twelve.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Oh, very close to us. Yeah, yeah, we're going on
fifteen this year, married.
Speaker 4 (13:53):
Eighteen eighten together, yea together.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
I just heard I was going through I don't know
social media bushit anyways, I found a message from and
I'm sure he's a colleague of yours.
Speaker 4 (14:04):
I don't know if you guys know each other.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Well.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
I'm Kevin Bacon. You know, he's been with Kira for
so long. And somebody asked him if he thought that
marriage was work, or he said something about you know,
I often hear people talking about marriage is work, is work,
and the way we approach marriage is it shouldn't be work,
it should be play. And then there's a lot of
(14:27):
footage of them. He's playing guitar and they're singing, and
they're just having such a wonderful, organic, simple moment of
joy together, just playing. And he's like, so the way
we approach marriage is not work.
Speaker 4 (14:41):
We play together. That makes sense to.
Speaker 5 (14:44):
You, having inka, I mean, look, I let me say this.
Here's the way I would look at it. I think
it is work, but it's work I want to do. Yeah,
to do it's work we want to do. So when
you both go we're going to do the work, it
(15:05):
becomes much more playful. Yeah, if you you know, if
if it it's like not all work is a chore.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Sure, but I do believe it's work.
Speaker 5 (15:17):
I do believe it takes maintenance, at least it does
for for for for me.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
But but I don't look at as a chore, and therefore.
Speaker 5 (15:28):
I think that allows it to be playful, at least
from from my perspective. I think for us, when two
people go, yeah, we're gonna work with this, We're gonna
we're gonna we're gonna keep tabage, We're going to maintain
our moral bottom line about why we fell in love
in the first place. We're gonna give each other room
to change and grow, but hey, make sure we're keeping
the clock on us being essentially who we were from
(15:49):
day one. Like we were just talking about, we're all
closer to who we are when we're young, when we're
older than we usually think we are. Why did you
fall in love in the first place? That the honeymoon
lasts forever, not as far as I can tell. But
that is instead of going oh dog on it, and
that kind of better in some ways. If that's what happens,
you get the light bulb goes from one hundred wats
(16:10):
down to thirty wats, much more livable, much more easy
to go.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
You know what I mean. Let's keep working on this together. Ah, yeah,
you got to, you know.
Speaker 5 (16:20):
I mean, there's twenty four hours in the day.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
You got kids, you got a career. You're sitting there
trying to balance the different things.
Speaker 5 (16:28):
You've got to make time, and sometimes you don't make
enough times. That takes management. I call that work. It's
fun work because it pays off when it keeps working.
When you go here's it's paid off in ways that
more so even compounded from when it was ten years,
we alreagether ten years building every day you've got an
(16:48):
investment going and each days together that thing is getting
stronger through time.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
So that's fun work, playful work, playful.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
I mean, I fully agree. I always have viewed relationships
as work in the sense that you just put it
same with being a parent, Like no one built an
empire without working hard, and no one appreciated what they
built without the hard work. If it was just easy,
you don't appreciate it so much. So raising children it's
a lot of work. It's not easy. They push every
(17:18):
button that you could ever have because that's their job.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
And following through on no is a hell of a
lot harder.
Speaker 4 (17:26):
Ye yes, being parents' parenting is bananas.
Speaker 3 (17:32):
Like I had no idea, and I love it. It's
the most the biggest accomplishment for all of us. You know,
having kids is just next level. But do you have
this men and me that is basically reflecting all your
flaws and all your wisdom and all your blessings and
a lot of times you don't even know what to
do with it, you know, Like I have this daughter that.
Speaker 4 (17:50):
I just go.
Speaker 3 (17:53):
I have to be so solid as a woman as
a human being, because I want this girl to have
the best chance possible. And everything is through is what
they become, what they see, you know, and what they experience.
Speaker 4 (18:05):
And it's scary, and there's a.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
Lot of work, it's amazing work, but you just go
hod I'm fucking over a whole I'm.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
Forget because hey, I hear you.
Speaker 5 (18:15):
And then the world changes coming out and faster, and
we try to go does it really changed? And I
don't know.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
Well, no, i'll know that ange later. I don't know
it right now.
Speaker 5 (18:23):
I don't know. I don't know if it's just you know,
I mean, it's social media for them, the you know,
cable TV for me?
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Was it just more access to things?
Speaker 5 (18:33):
I don't know. Has it changed a bunch or has
it not really changed at all? We're just calling it
different things.
Speaker 4 (18:38):
How do you feel about social media and your children?
Speaker 1 (18:42):
Look, we just let it.
Speaker 5 (18:43):
We just allowed our eldest is fifteen, to go on
and get his own social media channels. But that was
after three years, two and a half years of grilling
and going okay, you want it now.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
But let's talk about what your story would be. Let's
talk about how do you feel, how it feels.
Speaker 5 (18:59):
When someone comes back and makes some comment that's hurtful,
even if you don't know that person and you know
and he's like, oh, that won't bother me, I'm like, oh, yes.
Speaker 4 (19:08):
It will, Yes, it will.
Speaker 5 (19:10):
I got a family, a career, I've succeed A bad
review of unfair bad review, or a lie about me
out there, even if it's still physiologically affects me in
a in a way I don't like it, and I
go I wish it didn't, but it will affect you.
You will walk into the world knowing that some people
(19:31):
out here think that of me. But if it's a
lie that physiologically affects us and then psychologically affects us,
So what are those downfalls?
Speaker 1 (19:39):
What are those traps? What? What? What?
Speaker 5 (19:43):
How can you don't wake up? How do you keep
from waking up in the morning going what'd be a
great post.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Today rather instead of waking up that way? How do
you get how do you keep how do you keep
waking up.
Speaker 5 (19:58):
In the morning going like what do I want want to
do today? What are my plans today? And then while
I'm doing them, maybe go this would be a cool
thing to share the order.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
I think it should go.
Speaker 5 (20:08):
And what we have people adults as well, but definitely
children finding their identity through exporting something a picture or
a post and waiting for thousands of strangers to come
back and react and their day, how their day goes
is become reliant on what that reaction is. Get a
(20:29):
lot of these, they go through the day feeling confident.
And if you get a lot of these, they go
through the day.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
And like you said, it starts to define dangerous who
they are. They start to use that to define who
they are instead of defining who they are before looking
at that.
Speaker 5 (20:48):
And it's very much like I would say, you know, Hollywood.
I went to hollywooden I was twenty one. I'm glad
I didn't go when I was eighteen. It's not necessarily
the best place to go find yourself because the answership, yes,
you want to be that, Yeah go be that. You
want to be that, Yeah go be that? WHOA I
needed to eliminate some things right going. No, I definitely
(21:10):
don't want to be that before I found myself and
to grow up out there where it can be Halloween
every day, be whatever you want.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
The interest yes more, please here you go. Have another
is a lot to grow up, and I'm I'm glad
I didn't have.
Speaker 5 (21:24):
To go out earlier than I did it. Similar to
social media, I have to navigate. It was hard enough
to navigate and figuring out who the hell I wanted
to be and who I was and who I didn't
want to be with the tight knit family and with
the mom and dad and two brothers and some good friends.
That was a small group and it was hard enough
to do it that way.
Speaker 3 (21:53):
What is the hardest lesson that you learned as an actor?
You've been doing this for so long and you've been
incredibly successful, and there's much more to calme when it
comes to your acting on your platform. Well, what has
been the maybe the darkest part of it or the
hardest part of being an actor?
Speaker 5 (22:10):
Now?
Speaker 1 (22:10):
I mean the hardest part is loss of anonymity? Hm,
we all? I mean I think a healthy soul needs
the anonymity.
Speaker 5 (22:22):
Uh you you with success which I've had, you have
to watch becoming a caricature of self, very much like
the social media. You have to watch going like, oh, well,
what do they want I get? Maybe I can give it?
Do I need? What can I give them? That'll be
(22:42):
what they want instead.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Of what do I need?
Speaker 5 (22:46):
What do I want?
Speaker 1 (22:49):
And when it really works.
Speaker 5 (22:53):
We were talking about, for instance, like the green Lights
book Very Personal trust Me. I started off writing green Lights,
trying to write impressively, trying to go what's going to impress?
Speaker 1 (23:05):
So I was like, this is a bunch of bullshit.
Don't write that.
Speaker 5 (23:08):
That's clever, but that's not right your story and might
make it accessible where it's open for others and keep
it really personal. And then it may not be what
others expected. It may not even be what they wanted,
maybe what they need maybe.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
And so I think the loss of anonymity is is it?
Speaker 5 (23:28):
You know?
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Not meeting strangers was?
Speaker 5 (23:31):
It was a hard part early on in my career
when the world became a mirror overnight after I got famous,
all of a sudden running into people and they inherently
had a bio on me. You know, they come up
and they go, sorry about miss Hud and I don't
even know you, But all of a sudden, I go
through my mind, how'd you know I had a dog?
How'd you know her name is miss Hud? And how'd
you know she had cancer? You just skipped three? You
(23:53):
just jumped three deep into my life. I don't even
know you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (23:59):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 5 (24:00):
I kind of felt like you trespass it, right, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
To get in with the flow of like, well, that's
just part of it.
Speaker 5 (24:07):
People have a bio of you or an expectation.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
There's a bit of a world.
Speaker 5 (24:11):
There's a mirror, and I've tried to keep that mirror
what I've put out to be as close as possible
to who I really am. I don't I'm not an
open book. I don't just sit there and lay it
all out there because that'd be foolish. But I've tried
to keep that mirror or that idea of who you
think I am pretty close to. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
And also when you add you know, you can pound
that with social media now, right, there's not just the
bio of who you are, but now the bio that's
online of who you are. People think immediately you post
a personal picture of something here and they feel like, oh,
I've been in their home, I know his wife, I
know the kids, I know all about you. Don't people
just assume right away and in public, if you happen
(24:52):
across one of those people, it's a little intrusive and
uncomfortable because they immediately just think you're the best friend.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
At dinner, even though you remember being there. They've been there.
Speaker 5 (25:04):
You're rich.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
It's so true, it's so true. Well, you balance it
all incredibly well, you know, obviously successful actor, author, husband, father,
you're doing it all. I know it's not easy. How
do you What is there a secret? One more secret
you can shed light on to carry that balance so smoothly? Oh,
(25:28):
I know that's a tough life lesson on the spot,
but go back.
Speaker 5 (25:31):
I do think it's work. I do think when it's working,
it sure does feel like play. But I do think
it's work.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
I'm with you on the work part. It's work, but
I like it's fun work.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
It's about breaking a sweat. And if you call it work,
but I don't call it chore. I would say this. Look,
you got.
Speaker 5 (25:53):
Career, you got health, you got husbandry, you got fatherhood,
you got motherhood, you got you know, your relation and spiritually,
and it's hard to keep all of those in the black.
It's hard. It's impossible to keep them all running consistently
(26:13):
at peak performance. So I try to just main have
a check in with wool.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
Careers going really.
Speaker 5 (26:21):
Good, not around as much as a father, maybe a
little more distant as a husband. Okay, okay, I'm allowing
that it's that season for me right now, it's that season.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
Just don't let that husbandry and father get into the red.
Don't let it get don't make it where like we're
going to have to overhaul. Right, So let's okay, we've got.
Speaker 5 (26:39):
To make time to just maintain, tend this garden. I
know we're not in peak performance, but let's tend it
the husbandry, the fatherhood until I'm done work. And now
let's come back. Now let's go invest in those two
that were getting low. So it's just trying to keep
I try to just keep them above the mean line
and not let them get into the red. You know,
I've got times where careers going so well and I'm
(27:02):
working so hard and I'm not getting any sleep, Health's
going down, and like all r I'm working fourteen hour days.
I got another four weeks of this, dude, McConaughey, bite
the bullet. Let's go. We're going to bulldog through this
man because we have to what's necessary. You trust that.
And right when I finish the work, what happens, I
get the flu. My fight fight or flight goes to
(27:24):
flight and I relax and get I get sick, and
I know now that'll happen. Now, let's start investing out. Now,
let's get our sleep. Now, let's start eating right now,
let's start tenningto my health better. I mean, it goes.
I can't keep everything running at peak, but I just
try to let anything.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
I don't want to get so sick. I don't want
to get sick where it turns into a disease.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
I don't you.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
Don't want to.
Speaker 5 (27:45):
I don't want to be so busy that I'm not
being a good enough husband.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
And it leads to like, you know, oh, there's separation
to talk. I don't want to be.
Speaker 5 (27:54):
Not be around father enough where it's like where's Dad,
or have them think like there was the these years
where Dad was never there. I don't want to get
to that point that would be letting those scenes get
into the red. So I think it's just no one
that there's seasons, but trusting that Okay, when this, when
this season is over, I have.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
To go tend to that garden a little this part
of my life.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
A little bit a little bit more, just because it
looks easy it doesn't mean it doesn't take work.
Speaker 3 (28:20):
Any more more more books in the future for you,
or you're just going to leave this one right and
see how you feel in terms of time.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
And well, he's right. I write every day.
Speaker 4 (28:29):
Oh wow.
Speaker 5 (28:31):
Now I was going through my last four years since
I put out Green Lines, my last four years of notes,
and I'm seeing what my central thematics of how I've
been looking at life are. I don't really sit down
to write with intent about going on I want to
write about this. I just write about anything that turns
me on. I just look. I just wrote you're just
because you know that you inspired right there about tennis
(28:54):
and some of vamn rules. Just because the light's read
don't mean that they won't run it that's going to
lead to something. You know, I wrote more than that,
something that I heard this book just because it came
from a dream. I'll write things down that term me on,
and then usually when I go back and look at
it over a month or over a year, I'll see, oh,
you had central themes and all of your thoughts and
(29:15):
everything that made you laugh or cry or happy or mad.
You had central thoughts or themes. Those themes can become
chapters and maybe form another book.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
I love it.
Speaker 3 (29:30):
Is there one thing that you still need to accomplish?
Speaker 5 (29:36):
Oh yeah, yeah, my I have my hope. Weren't thing
I want to accomplish. I gotta I need to get
strong spiritually. I'm stronger I you know, I'm told that
it appears that that's one of my stronger suits, is
my spirit. And I won't disagree with that. But just
(29:59):
like most things are things that maybe our greatest strength
is usually what we need to work on the most,
or we feel we do. I think I have a
long way to go, and I see that as a
journey that I'm looking forward to that I need to
tend to that I need I need to tend to.
You know, I get busy talk about spirituality. Look around,
I go, man, it's been been a month since I've
bent my knee.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Need to bend a knee.
Speaker 5 (30:21):
Mcconaughe, Hey, you need to take some Humble to get
some Humble buy and check out and why you're number
two with them?
Speaker 1 (30:25):
But the highest you know what I mean, that need
to check in on and continue to.
Speaker 5 (30:30):
I hope one day that when my kids are like
forty and if they get asked, who's your damn name
of your five best friends? That I'll be on that list?
Speaker 4 (30:40):
You will?
Speaker 2 (30:41):
That for sure, you will.
Speaker 3 (30:43):
I'm positive you will. This has been amazing.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
Yeah, thank you for sharing your time with us, your
knowledge with us, really really Greg One statement from your
children's book, I'm taken back into our marriage is just
because we disagree doesn't mean that you're not right. I'm
taking that into our just because we disagree doesn't mean
(31:07):
that you're not right.
Speaker 5 (31:09):
Well, a director goes, Mark Waters goes, girlfriends past. We
were talking about a scene one day and he was
saying I needed to do this. I was like, no, no.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
That's false.
Speaker 5 (31:18):
We knew that, we knew that, and he goes, you
know what, Mcconaughe he goes, you're never wrong, and I
was like, that's right exactly.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
And he goes, but there's more than one way to
be right.
Speaker 5 (31:30):
And I went, oh, and.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
That's where that one comes from.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
I love it. Excellent. Thank you again for your time.
We appreciate it, just because get the book now, great
family read. Thank you, Thank you all the best. What
a great episode an interview.
Speaker 4 (31:50):
I love him like I've.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
Been such a fan my entire career and his career,
but this just as a human being, he's just the
Oh my god, I can't.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
So well spoken and the knowledge is infinite. He's really
you know, it's funny. A lot of people can can
have great knowledge, but not everybody knows how to share
it correct, you know what I mean? He actually very
eloquently knows how to share it else. Yeah, and it
just comes out and it's he's not trying to impose
an opinion on you. He's not trying to make you
(32:22):
think like him. He literally is just telling you this
is what I've learned, and hey, if you're on board,
check it out. And you know what it makes you
want to be on board.
Speaker 3 (32:29):
I know.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
The ease it is so effortless when he.
Speaker 4 (32:32):
Delivers his point of view is just fantastic.
Speaker 3 (32:35):
Guys, he said, a yeah, the whole listeners, this was
huge for me and Eric. We truly hope that you
enjoy this episode because it was a big accomplishment. Eric
is the one that was able to get him to
do the podcast, and of course I was like, he's
never going to do it, Eric, and here he was.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
Him sharing his time with us meant a love. We're
big fans in general, so more power to him his
own fam. We always wish them the best, all right,
and don't forget. You can listen to he said aad
ho on Amazon Music. Check it out, Love you, love you,
thanks for listening. Don't forget to write us a review
and tell us what you think.
Speaker 3 (33:11):
If you want to follow us on Instagram, check us
out at, he said. Ajav Or Sena is an email
Eric and Ross at iHeartRadio dot com, he said. Ajab
is part of iHeartRadio's Miculduda podcast network.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
See you next time.
Speaker 4 (33:24):
Bye,
This is, he said, ayad Ho with Eric Winter and
Rosalind Fantev.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Good afternoon, Hello everyone, Welcome to another episode, he said,
A at the hoo. This is an exciting episode today.
We have a fantastic guest today, this one is That's
what all our guests are, fantastic. We have a lot
of fantastic guests. However, this is one that I'm just
really excited about personally as well.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
I know, it's awesome. It's an amazing one, guys that
we are so honored to be able to bring you.
Speaker 4 (00:31):
Guys this treat.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Joining us today is Oscar winning actor Matthew McConaughey. You
know him obviously from Dallas Buyer's Club, Magic, Mike, Dazed
and Confused, True Detective also a great one as well.
But anyway, he has a new book out right now.
It's his second book, yep. This one is called Just
Because Children's book, and it explores all the contradictions around
(00:57):
us and how they make us who we are. It's
little McConaughey tidbits of knowledge, which I actually I really
love love this book and I can't wait to talk
to him about it.
Speaker 4 (01:08):
I know it's exciting.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
He also founded a foundation with his beautiful wife, Camilla
Elvis called Just Keep Living Foundation, which is dedicated to
empowering high school students by providing them with the tools
to lead active lives and make healthy choices.
Speaker 4 (01:28):
For a better future. That's what I'm talking about. Isn't
that amazing?
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Yeah? You know, he is clearly not just an actor
or performer. This is a guy that is making changes,
making differences constantly in his actions, what he's doing outside
of the business.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
He cares about humanity. He cares about making this world
a better place. So, besides doing incredible work as an
actor Oscar winner by the way, he's also making sure
that he is going to leave legacy, you know, for
him and his family, his children to look up to
him and to follow his footsteps and just contribute to society.
(02:08):
So you know, it's good people.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Oh hello, hello, hello.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Hello, how you doing.
Speaker 5 (02:15):
Good morning, Good morning to do well.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Yeah, thank you for joining us here today.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Thanks man, super excited.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Listen, we're both big fans of yours in general. But
and I know you already have one book on the market,
but and this is another one right out the gate
that to me and I read through it already. I'm
already like this is, this is. I can't wait to
get the kids involved in this book. And also it's
just great for everyone. The little tidbits and knowledge that
(02:45):
you're dropping left this book. What what what inspired you
to go down this path for the next book.
Speaker 5 (02:51):
I mean, as you you know, I mean, I've got
some pretty I think mature messages in there that are
packaged for young people to be able to digest.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
It rhymes, you get some illustrations. It all has a
sort of innocence to it.
Speaker 5 (03:04):
But as you said, some of the themes are things
that I think about and think we could all use.
I know it's things I could use, things I'm trying
to work on. I think there's things we could all
work on to enjoy life a little bit more and
get through this This rodeo called life a little bit better.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
And so you know, I'm I have kids, you started,
I guess I start.
Speaker 5 (03:22):
I'm always seeing and making choices in life now through
the lens and consideration of having them, and that can
be the better a better father. What's their future going
to be? And so I had a dream one night
and I was dreaming these things up and it was
a little bit, a little bit Bob Dylan Diddy through
the dark. Don't mean that is stuck them doing doing
just because I've got skills.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
I mean there is no luck.
Speaker 5 (03:44):
And so I woke up and I started jopping these
things down and looked at it, and I thought I
had a cool song.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
And then I was like, well, this could be great.
Speaker 5 (03:51):
And the children's book, there's some stuff in here that
I think could be valuable for my kids and other
kids and the kid and all of us.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Just to give an example, it's like you just out
of human Just because you can pull it off doesn't
mean that you should do it. Just because you failed
doesn't mean that you blew it. Simple statements like that
that I know our kids can learn a lot from,
but even on a personally nope, we can learn from.
Speaker 4 (04:16):
It's very valuable.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
You know.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
We have two children, you have three. We have two.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
We have an eleven year old daughter and we have
a boy that is five years old. And the girl
she plays a lot of tennis, competitive tennis, you know,
and as a sport, it's such a difficult sport to tackle,
you know, it's a solo sport. And she's going through
as an eleven year old, almost a teenager. She's going
through so much stuff that she's learning and navigating through
(04:39):
the sport that translate to life itself. You know.
Speaker 4 (04:42):
Even yesterday we had this.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
I took her to her class and she was much
playing with a boy and just the conversations that you
have to deal with with the kids to teach them
just because the rules say this and that this doesn't
really mean that it's the right thing to do, Isabella.
So if there's a double bounce and the guy doesn't
call it, but you know that you shouldn't play it,
(05:07):
don't play it. And that whole thing was a fifteen
minute debate of these two kids going at it, you know,
and as a mom, she's right, she's following the rules,
but is it right, you know, and to be and
to be able to teach her that in a way
that she can digest it and don't feel bad about it.
We're just talking about live, Isabella, and it's going to
(05:29):
serve you when it comes.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
To everything in life. You know, just be an honest.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
Transparent kid, which she is, you know, but at some
certain ages, you know, you have to keep reminding them
as parents, and a book like this is a perfect
tool to see, like, let's just sit down and go
one by one, one little paragraph at a time, and
what do you think this means to you and start
that conversation.
Speaker 4 (05:52):
You know, it's really invaluable.
Speaker 5 (05:54):
You just gave me a good one. You just said it.
So you're back to be the author of this. Because
the light is read doesn't mean that they won't run it.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
You know.
Speaker 5 (06:04):
Because the rules are clear doesn't mean that it was
going to follow it. And that's that's a that's a
tough one, especially for young We learn that as we
get older, you know, I mean we all would like
we know, fair fights where the rules are clear are
hard enough to win and when all of a sudden,
(06:24):
you go and you go. There are some categories there,
there are some jobs, there are some phases in life
and people in life where it's it's not even embarrassing
to break the rules. It's just like, dude, that the
vegas foul is in watch this, the gig is in
(06:45):
it's fixed.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Watch I'm fixing it. And it's like, oh wow.
Speaker 5 (06:50):
And for a child to understand that the world can
also be unfair like that where you're trying to teach
them just like, hey, if you follow the rules, it's
still very hard to win. If you if you go
to a game and you and you make the call right,
it's still difficult to win.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
And then tell them that you know it's.
Speaker 5 (07:12):
Cheat.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Oh what you know?
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Your book follows a lot of you know, I know
you're a tennis fan, and I know for a number
of reasons. I just saw you in Jokovic's box at
the Open, which was massive. There.
Speaker 4 (07:29):
You like tennis.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
I can't get enough of it.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
We are like as embedded into the tennis lifestyle. Which
is why I saved a bunch of these quotes from
the book for Sabella, because I think so many of
them apply to tennis and life, because tennis is such
a life sport and the lessons you learned in it.
I mean, we're you know, our daughter plays competitively for
us t A Juniors and she's you know, hours upon
(07:58):
hours a week tournament. It's it's madness, but it's a
it's a sport where you don't There are really no
umpires at the junior level, very few. You call all
your own line calls, you call all your own everything
is as honor.
Speaker 3 (08:11):
System, ridiculous and unfair to pretend that these kids have
the maturity to be able to do these calls properly,
and there's a lot of mistakes done, and then parents
get involved, and.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
It follows this honor system that doesn't make any sense, but.
Speaker 5 (08:27):
It does make sense until it does it expected to
make sense, right, yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Because I mean, are we being old school? Are we
being nostalgic? Are we being old fashioned to say.
Speaker 5 (08:40):
If you call it in, even if it's against you
and it's it's in its match point.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
Or if it's out, you call it out? It Is
this a nostalgic idea.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
For sure?
Speaker 4 (08:52):
Where I where it's hard, it's hard, it's involved, it's hard.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
I think the book where it helps is so you see,
even in the pros right now, they have, you know,
the radar calling the balls, so you sometimes an umpire
in a pro sport can't even tell if the balls
in right right. So now you got this eleven year
old kid trying to call a ball that's literally near
the baseline, anywhere near the way the ball squishes and balances.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Is it in?
Speaker 2 (09:15):
Is it out? There's a saying when in doubt, call
it out. And I'm to the point where I've said Sabella.
If it's that close, play it in because we don't
know if it causes such a controversy. So just because
you think it might be one, or just because it
looks like it's that close, just take the higher road
(09:36):
and play the ball unless you know it is out.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Right right right right? Yeah yeah yeah yeah. And then
you then you.
Speaker 5 (09:45):
If you exaggerate that. We've all seen our kids, these
kids that do this bocked, won't give there a great
shot enough ownership, yeah, to take the win and go.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
No, that was out.
Speaker 5 (09:57):
I was telling you it was out by a quarter
evnch and I saw it, yes, even my sight, and
I'm laying it down. No, we don't have a replay.
But I'm telling you that's the call. And then it's
close enough where you got some people on the.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
Sidellines going boo, that your cheat. I saw it. That's it.
Speaker 5 (10:11):
That's another tough thing where you get you have to
teach kids sometimes No, take ownership.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
You won that point, yep, take that one hundred percent.
Speaker 4 (10:28):
Your memoir. That's how you say it, memoir memoir. Oh,
I said it right.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
Green lights how it affected so many people as an author,
especially because you're showing up about your life.
Speaker 4 (10:41):
How do you feel when people.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
Tell you, oh my god, Matthew, this page or this
chapter was life changing to me.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
How does it feel when you know that you're taching lives?
Speaker 1 (10:53):
It's it's the look.
Speaker 5 (10:55):
That book was the the most truthful extension of me
that I've ever put out.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
So that was the closest piece of art that I
put out. That was to me.
Speaker 5 (11:05):
Hopefully my children will be the closest piece of art
that I put out after they move onto the world.
But that that book, more so than any movie or anything.
I was the author, I was the director, I was
the of the show.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
I wrote. It was about me and my life, my
own experiences.
Speaker 5 (11:18):
But when I hear that from other people, and what
I hoped I would get would come out of the
book is that people would see themselves and me and
I would be seeing myself in them. And I think
that's what I hear from people the most, is they go, yeah,
it was Maybe I bought it because I like it
was a celebrity Matthew, But go after five pages, I
(11:39):
was in and going, oh wow, oh you've gone through
some of this ship.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Oh okay, Oh I screwed up like that too.
Speaker 5 (11:49):
Oh that's a good way to handle that, dang, and
I wish I had handle it that way. Maybe handed
that way next time. It brought up some things I
think that people saw it was. I think people that
say that are telling me it's a very human book,
incredibly personal, but I in some ways for some people,
I guess I hit that sweet spot of when it
is deeply personal but not just you know, only for me,
(12:15):
memoir about me, when it's something you can see in
yourself and you can go, this is about the human
experience we all go through. And that's so that feels
wonderful as an author and as an artist, did.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
You learn something through the process, Like, while you're recounting
your life and what you went through, were you able
to discover something through it?
Speaker 4 (12:34):
That's sprised?
Speaker 5 (12:35):
You discovered that I've remembered a lot more than I
thought I forgot.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
I also discovered that.
Speaker 5 (12:43):
I haven't changed because I thought I had from when
I was just a kid.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
And you've got kids. I mean, how much did you
notice early on? Oh?
Speaker 5 (12:55):
Nature means so much the DNA, they are who they are.
We our nurture guides them. But I was so surprised
we had kids. Oh, I didn't know so much DNA.
I didn't know so much nature over nurture now, and
that surprised me, and so I didn't I realized to
writing the book that oh, essentially questions I had when
(13:17):
I was ten.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
I've answered a lot of those questions.
Speaker 5 (13:21):
But I'm still having questions about the same subject, more
evolved questions, more mature, more thought out questions, smarter but
more experience, but similar, similar questions and seeking similar clarity.
Speaker 4 (13:38):
That's amazing. You've been with Camilla.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
How long?
Speaker 4 (13:41):
How many years.
Speaker 5 (13:42):
We've been together? Sixteen? Mary coming on eleven twelve.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Oh, very close to us. Yeah, yeah, we're going on
fifteen this year, married.
Speaker 4 (13:53):
Eighteen eighten together, yea together.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
I just heard I was going through I don't know
social media bushit anyways, I found a message from and
I'm sure he's a colleague of yours.
Speaker 4 (14:04):
I don't know if you guys know each other.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Well.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
I'm Kevin Bacon. You know, he's been with Kira for
so long. And somebody asked him if he thought that
marriage was work, or he said something about you know,
I often hear people talking about marriage is work, is work,
and the way we approach marriage is it shouldn't be work,
it should be play. And then there's a lot of
(14:27):
footage of them. He's playing guitar and they're singing, and
they're just having such a wonderful, organic, simple moment of
joy together, just playing. And he's like, so the way
we approach marriage is not work.
Speaker 4 (14:41):
We play together. That makes sense to.
Speaker 5 (14:44):
You, having inka, I mean, look, I let me say this.
Here's the way I would look at it. I think
it is work, but it's work I want to do. Yeah,
to do it's work we want to do. So when
you both go we're going to do the work, it
(15:05):
becomes much more playful. Yeah, if you you know, if
if it it's like not all work is a chore.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Sure, but I do believe it's work.
Speaker 5 (15:17):
I do believe it takes maintenance, at least it does
for for for for me.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
But but I don't look at as a chore, and therefore.
Speaker 5 (15:28):
I think that allows it to be playful, at least
from from my perspective. I think for us, when two
people go, yeah, we're gonna work with this, We're gonna
we're gonna we're gonna keep tabage, We're going to maintain
our moral bottom line about why we fell in love
in the first place. We're gonna give each other room
to change and grow, but hey, make sure we're keeping
the clock on us being essentially who we were from
(15:49):
day one. Like we were just talking about, we're all
closer to who we are when we're young, when we're
older than we usually think we are. Why did you
fall in love in the first place? That the honeymoon
lasts forever, not as far as I can tell. But
that is instead of going oh dog on it, and
that kind of better in some ways. If that's what happens,
you get the light bulb goes from one hundred wats
(16:10):
down to thirty wats, much more livable, much more easy
to go.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
You know what I mean. Let's keep working on this together. Ah, yeah,
you got to, you know.
Speaker 5 (16:20):
I mean, there's twenty four hours in the day.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
You got kids, you got a career. You're sitting there
trying to balance the different things.
Speaker 5 (16:28):
You've got to make time, and sometimes you don't make
enough times. That takes management. I call that work. It's
fun work because it pays off when it keeps working.
When you go here's it's paid off in ways that
more so even compounded from when it was ten years,
we alreagether ten years building every day you've got an
(16:48):
investment going and each days together that thing is getting
stronger through time.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
So that's fun work, playful work, playful.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
I mean, I fully agree. I always have viewed relationships
as work in the sense that you just put it
same with being a parent, Like no one built an
empire without working hard, and no one appreciated what they
built without the hard work. If it was just easy,
you don't appreciate it so much. So raising children it's
a lot of work. It's not easy. They push every
(17:18):
button that you could ever have because that's their job.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
And following through on no is a hell of a
lot harder.
Speaker 4 (17:26):
Ye yes, being parents' parenting is bananas.
Speaker 3 (17:32):
Like I had no idea, and I love it. It's
the most the biggest accomplishment for all of us. You know,
having kids is just next level. But do you have
this men and me that is basically reflecting all your
flaws and all your wisdom and all your blessings and
a lot of times you don't even know what to
do with it, you know, Like I have this daughter that.
Speaker 4 (17:50):
I just go.
Speaker 3 (17:53):
I have to be so solid as a woman as
a human being, because I want this girl to have
the best chance possible. And everything is through is what
they become, what they see, you know, and what they experience.
Speaker 4 (18:05):
And it's scary, and there's a.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
Lot of work, it's amazing work, but you just go
hod I'm fucking over a whole I'm.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
Forget because hey, I hear you.
Speaker 5 (18:15):
And then the world changes coming out and faster, and
we try to go does it really changed? And I
don't know.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
Well, no, i'll know that ange later. I don't know
it right now.
Speaker 5 (18:23):
I don't know. I don't know if it's just you know,
I mean, it's social media for them, the you know,
cable TV for me?
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Was it just more access to things?
Speaker 5 (18:33):
I don't know. Has it changed a bunch or has
it not really changed at all? We're just calling it
different things.
Speaker 4 (18:38):
How do you feel about social media and your children?
Speaker 1 (18:42):
Look, we just let it.
Speaker 5 (18:43):
We just allowed our eldest is fifteen, to go on
and get his own social media channels. But that was
after three years, two and a half years of grilling
and going okay, you want it now.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
But let's talk about what your story would be. Let's
talk about how do you feel, how it feels.
Speaker 5 (18:59):
When someone comes back and makes some comment that's hurtful,
even if you don't know that person and you know
and he's like, oh, that won't bother me, I'm like, oh, yes.
Speaker 4 (19:08):
It will, Yes, it will.
Speaker 5 (19:10):
I got a family, a career, I've succeed A bad
review of unfair bad review, or a lie about me
out there, even if it's still physiologically affects me in
a in a way I don't like it, and I
go I wish it didn't, but it will affect you.
You will walk into the world knowing that some people
(19:31):
out here think that of me. But if it's a
lie that physiologically affects us and then psychologically affects us,
So what are those downfalls?
Speaker 1 (19:39):
What are those traps? What? What? What?
Speaker 5 (19:43):
How can you don't wake up? How do you keep
from waking up in the morning going what'd be a
great post.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Today rather instead of waking up that way? How do
you get how do you keep how do you keep
waking up.
Speaker 5 (19:58):
In the morning going like what do I want want to
do today? What are my plans today? And then while
I'm doing them, maybe go this would be a cool
thing to share the order.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
I think it should go.
Speaker 5 (20:08):
And what we have people adults as well, but definitely
children finding their identity through exporting something a picture or
a post and waiting for thousands of strangers to come
back and react and their day, how their day goes
is become reliant on what that reaction is. Get a
(20:29):
lot of these, they go through the day feeling confident.
And if you get a lot of these, they go
through the day.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
And like you said, it starts to define dangerous who
they are. They start to use that to define who
they are instead of defining who they are before looking
at that.
Speaker 5 (20:48):
And it's very much like I would say, you know, Hollywood.
I went to hollywooden I was twenty one. I'm glad
I didn't go when I was eighteen. It's not necessarily
the best place to go find yourself because the answership, yes,
you want to be that, Yeah go be that. You
want to be that, Yeah go be that? WHOA I
needed to eliminate some things right going. No, I definitely
(21:10):
don't want to be that before I found myself and
to grow up out there where it can be Halloween
every day, be whatever you want.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
The interest yes more, please here you go. Have another
is a lot to grow up, and I'm I'm glad
I didn't have.
Speaker 5 (21:24):
To go out earlier than I did it. Similar to
social media, I have to navigate. It was hard enough
to navigate and figuring out who the hell I wanted
to be and who I was and who I didn't
want to be with the tight knit family and with
the mom and dad and two brothers and some good friends.
That was a small group and it was hard enough
to do it that way.
Speaker 3 (21:53):
What is the hardest lesson that you learned as an actor?
You've been doing this for so long and you've been
incredibly successful, and there's much more to calme when it
comes to your acting on your platform. Well, what has
been the maybe the darkest part of it or the
hardest part of being an actor?
Speaker 5 (22:10):
Now?
Speaker 1 (22:10):
I mean the hardest part is loss of anonymity? Hm,
we all? I mean I think a healthy soul needs
the anonymity.
Speaker 5 (22:22):
Uh you you with success which I've had, you have
to watch becoming a caricature of self, very much like
the social media. You have to watch going like, oh, well,
what do they want I get? Maybe I can give it?
Do I need? What can I give them? That'll be
(22:42):
what they want instead.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Of what do I need?
Speaker 5 (22:46):
What do I want?
Speaker 1 (22:49):
And when it really works.
Speaker 5 (22:53):
We were talking about, for instance, like the green Lights
book Very Personal trust Me. I started off writing green Lights,
trying to write impressively, trying to go what's going to impress?
Speaker 1 (23:05):
So I was like, this is a bunch of bullshit.
Don't write that.
Speaker 5 (23:08):
That's clever, but that's not right your story and might
make it accessible where it's open for others and keep
it really personal. And then it may not be what
others expected. It may not even be what they wanted,
maybe what they need maybe.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
And so I think the loss of anonymity is is it?
Speaker 5 (23:28):
You know?
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Not meeting strangers was?
Speaker 5 (23:31):
It was a hard part early on in my career
when the world became a mirror overnight after I got famous,
all of a sudden running into people and they inherently
had a bio on me. You know, they come up
and they go, sorry about miss Hud and I don't
even know you, But all of a sudden, I go
through my mind, how'd you know I had a dog?
How'd you know her name is miss Hud? And how'd
you know she had cancer? You just skipped three? You
(23:53):
just jumped three deep into my life. I don't even
know you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (23:59):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 5 (24:00):
I kind of felt like you trespass it, right, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
To get in with the flow of like, well, that's
just part of it.
Speaker 5 (24:07):
People have a bio of you or an expectation.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
There's a bit of a world.
Speaker 5 (24:11):
There's a mirror, and I've tried to keep that mirror
what I've put out to be as close as possible
to who I really am. I don't I'm not an
open book. I don't just sit there and lay it
all out there because that'd be foolish. But I've tried
to keep that mirror or that idea of who you
think I am pretty close to. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
And also when you add you know, you can pound
that with social media now, right, there's not just the
bio of who you are, but now the bio that's
online of who you are. People think immediately you post
a personal picture of something here and they feel like, oh,
I've been in their home, I know his wife, I
know the kids, I know all about you. Don't people
just assume right away and in public, if you happen
(24:52):
across one of those people, it's a little intrusive and
uncomfortable because they immediately just think you're the best friend.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
At dinner, even though you remember being there. They've been there.
Speaker 5 (25:04):
You're rich.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
It's so true, it's so true. Well, you balance it
all incredibly well, you know, obviously successful actor, author, husband, father,
you're doing it all. I know it's not easy. How
do you What is there a secret? One more secret
you can shed light on to carry that balance so smoothly? Oh,
(25:28):
I know that's a tough life lesson on the spot,
but go back.
Speaker 5 (25:31):
I do think it's work. I do think when it's working,
it sure does feel like play. But I do think
it's work.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
I'm with you on the work part. It's work, but
I like it's fun work.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
It's about breaking a sweat. And if you call it work,
but I don't call it chore. I would say this. Look,
you got.
Speaker 5 (25:53):
Career, you got health, you got husbandry, you got fatherhood,
you got motherhood, you got you know, your relation and spiritually,
and it's hard to keep all of those in the black.
It's hard. It's impossible to keep them all running consistently
(26:13):
at peak performance. So I try to just main have
a check in with wool.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
Careers going really.
Speaker 5 (26:21):
Good, not around as much as a father, maybe a
little more distant as a husband. Okay, okay, I'm allowing
that it's that season for me right now, it's that season.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
Just don't let that husbandry and father get into the red.
Don't let it get don't make it where like we're
going to have to overhaul. Right, So let's okay, we've got.
Speaker 5 (26:39):
To make time to just maintain, tend this garden. I
know we're not in peak performance, but let's tend it
the husbandry, the fatherhood until I'm done work. And now
let's come back. Now let's go invest in those two
that were getting low. So it's just trying to keep
I try to just keep them above the mean line
and not let them get into the red. You know,
I've got times where careers going so well and I'm
(27:02):
working so hard and I'm not getting any sleep, Health's
going down, and like all r I'm working fourteen hour days.
I got another four weeks of this, dude, McConaughey, bite
the bullet. Let's go. We're going to bulldog through this
man because we have to what's necessary. You trust that.
And right when I finish the work, what happens, I
get the flu. My fight fight or flight goes to
(27:24):
flight and I relax and get I get sick, and
I know now that'll happen. Now, let's start investing out. Now,
let's get our sleep. Now, let's start eating right now,
let's start tenningto my health better. I mean, it goes.
I can't keep everything running at peak, but I just
try to let anything.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
I don't want to get so sick. I don't want
to get sick where it turns into a disease.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
I don't you.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
Don't want to.
Speaker 5 (27:45):
I don't want to be so busy that I'm not
being a good enough husband.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
And it leads to like, you know, oh, there's separation
to talk. I don't want to be.
Speaker 5 (27:54):
Not be around father enough where it's like where's Dad,
or have them think like there was the these years
where Dad was never there. I don't want to get
to that point that would be letting those scenes get
into the red. So I think it's just no one
that there's seasons, but trusting that Okay, when this, when
this season is over, I have.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
To go tend to that garden a little this part
of my life.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
A little bit a little bit more, just because it
looks easy it doesn't mean it doesn't take work.
Speaker 3 (28:20):
Any more more more books in the future for you,
or you're just going to leave this one right and
see how you feel in terms of time.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
And well, he's right. I write every day.
Speaker 4 (28:29):
Oh wow.
Speaker 5 (28:31):
Now I was going through my last four years since
I put out Green Lines, my last four years of notes,
and I'm seeing what my central thematics of how I've
been looking at life are. I don't really sit down
to write with intent about going on I want to
write about this. I just write about anything that turns
me on. I just look. I just wrote you're just
because you know that you inspired right there about tennis
(28:54):
and some of vamn rules. Just because the light's read
don't mean that they won't run it that's going to
lead to something. You know, I wrote more than that,
something that I heard this book just because it came
from a dream. I'll write things down that term me on,
and then usually when I go back and look at
it over a month or over a year, I'll see, oh,
you had central themes and all of your thoughts and
(29:15):
everything that made you laugh or cry or happy or mad.
You had central thoughts or themes. Those themes can become
chapters and maybe form another book.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
I love it.
Speaker 3 (29:30):
Is there one thing that you still need to accomplish?
Speaker 5 (29:36):
Oh yeah, yeah, my I have my hope. Weren't thing
I want to accomplish. I gotta I need to get
strong spiritually. I'm stronger I you know, I'm told that
it appears that that's one of my stronger suits, is
my spirit. And I won't disagree with that. But just
(29:59):
like most things are things that maybe our greatest strength
is usually what we need to work on the most,
or we feel we do. I think I have a
long way to go, and I see that as a
journey that I'm looking forward to that I need to
tend to that I need I need to tend to.
You know, I get busy talk about spirituality. Look around,
I go, man, it's been been a month since I've
bent my knee.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Need to bend a knee.
Speaker 5 (30:21):
Mcconaughe, Hey, you need to take some Humble to get
some Humble buy and check out and why you're number
two with them?
Speaker 1 (30:25):
But the highest you know what I mean, that need
to check in on and continue to.
Speaker 5 (30:30):
I hope one day that when my kids are like
forty and if they get asked, who's your damn name
of your five best friends? That I'll be on that list?
Speaker 4 (30:40):
You will?
Speaker 2 (30:41):
That for sure, you will.
Speaker 3 (30:43):
I'm positive you will. This has been amazing.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
Yeah, thank you for sharing your time with us, your
knowledge with us, really really Greg One statement from your
children's book, I'm taken back into our marriage is just
because we disagree doesn't mean that you're not right. I'm
taking that into our just because we disagree doesn't mean
(31:07):
that you're not right.
Speaker 5 (31:09):
Well, a director goes, Mark Waters goes, girlfriends past. We
were talking about a scene one day and he was
saying I needed to do this. I was like, no, no.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
That's false.
Speaker 5 (31:18):
We knew that, we knew that, and he goes, you
know what, Mcconaughe he goes, you're never wrong, and I
was like, that's right exactly.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
And he goes, but there's more than one way to
be right.
Speaker 5 (31:30):
And I went, oh, and.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
That's where that one comes from.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
I love it. Excellent. Thank you again for your time.
We appreciate it, just because get the book now, great
family read. Thank you, Thank you all the best. What
a great episode an interview.
Speaker 4 (31:50):
I love him like I've.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
Been such a fan my entire career and his career,
but this just as a human being, he's just the
Oh my god, I can't.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
So well spoken and the knowledge is infinite. He's really
you know, it's funny. A lot of people can can
have great knowledge, but not everybody knows how to share
it correct, you know what I mean? He actually very
eloquently knows how to share it else. Yeah, and it
just comes out and it's he's not trying to impose
an opinion on you. He's not trying to make you
(32:22):
think like him. He literally is just telling you this
is what I've learned, and hey, if you're on board,
check it out. And you know what it makes you
want to be on board.
Speaker 3 (32:29):
I know.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
The ease it is so effortless when he.
Speaker 4 (32:32):
Delivers his point of view is just fantastic.
Speaker 3 (32:35):
Guys, he said, a yeah, the whole listeners, this was
huge for me and Eric. We truly hope that you
enjoy this episode because it was a big accomplishment. Eric
is the one that was able to get him to
do the podcast, and of course I was like, he's
never going to do it, Eric, and here he was.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
Him sharing his time with us meant a love. We're
big fans in general, so more power to him his
own fam. We always wish them the best, all right,
and don't forget. You can listen to he said aad
ho on Amazon Music. Check it out, Love you, love you,
thanks for listening. Don't forget to write us a review
and tell us what you think.
Speaker 3 (33:11):
If you want to follow us on Instagram, check us
out at, he said. Ajav Or Sena is an email
Eric and Ross at iHeartRadio dot com, he said. Ajab
is part of iHeartRadio's Miculduda podcast network.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
See you next time.
Speaker 4 (33:24):
Bye,
Host
Roselyn Sanchez
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