December 11, 2019 • 41 mins
Miss Universe devotee, Roselyn Sanchez cannot make her husband Eric Winter understand the love of pageants. Eric, dismisses what could be a death inducing parasite that Roselyn believes is within her body. But knowing Roselyn, it’s probably just gas. The two debate the love lessons Roselyn gained from watching The Marriage Story on Netflix.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
This is he said, with Eric Winter and Rodalin Fantez.
Welcome back. I'm back. She's in town. Sorry, we're a
little late with this podcast. We like it to be
out on Monday, but we're a couple of days late
because I was working. I was going for what a
couple of weeks said, you leave the magic It was beautiful. Yes,
(00:25):
So I'm back, guys. I came back last night. I'm
super excited. Um, are you happy that I'm super happy?
Your home? So you're not calling on FaceTime every hour?
You know what happened? Like every hour? This is like
I travel and I yeah, every time I call you
to talk to the kids or just say hi, I'm
facing You're like, I'm busy. I get this going out
all the time. Can you call it back in five minutes?
(00:46):
And then you call every single hour to see the
kids as if something has changed dropped them. Well, to me,
yeah it changed. They grow very fast. You're gonna do
something that I'm gonn. I'm gonna make you feel bad
just so you don't do it again. I have this man,
this car service picked me up. So we're driving back
from l a Way with the studio city and I'm
(01:07):
lying in the bag, and I'm like, oh my god,
I want to see the kids. It's six six pm.
I know Eric is gonna probably start giving him a bath,
but I want to see him. And I think it's cute.
You're gonna be home in twenty minutes. That's not the point.
I just learned that I want to see my kid.
So I call him on FaceTime and typical Eric because
he can do one more than one thing at a time.
So it's the end of the world because I called
(01:27):
when he's about to give him about to ras ras.
I'm busy. I'm busy. It's like, all you have to
do is just play the phone in a little corner.
That's it, right, and then you can do whatever you're doing.
And the phone is pointing towards Dylan, and I said,
Dylan taking a bath, that's all you have to do.
So you're let me find He's so flustered. I can't
do it. I can do it. Just call back. I
(01:48):
just called you back, and I just hung up the phone.
So like, I mean, crazy traffic. It took like an
hour and twenty minutes to get back home because of
rush hour traffic, and this old man from maybe Russian
with a very thick accent. He's asking me, where are
you from going from Puerto Rico and your husband? And
I said, um, he's you know, he's an l abol
he's he's American. He goes, he's a little rude. He said,
(02:10):
I was rude, rude, and I was like, oh, I know,
you know, it's just because you know, it's it's about
the time for the kids. And he gets very, very
stressed out and he's like, yeah, he was loud and rude.
Oh my god, it was I was. I was embarrassed
for you. Why was he so nice when the day
I dont talk because then we came best friends. We
(02:33):
the traffic was out of control and I was so
pissed that I was I was not gonna make it
before seven. That we talked the entire time, so he
felt like family. First of all, I wasn't rude, and
then I defended. You want to say, you're a wonderful husband. Yeah,
he's rude. Sometimes when you're overwhelmed and you have your
hands full of soap, you a kid in the bath,
there's all this stuff going on, and you know you're
gonna be home in twenty minutes. Eric it doesn't really matter.
(02:54):
The phone in a little corner. You don't even have
to touch the phone his FaceTime. I'm going to teach
you about a couple of things in life you need to.
So you just blindside of me with this. It's not true.
It's a joke. It's not true, though it's funny. He
was when I call him Facebook or Facebook Facebook FaceTime,
you call him Facebook anyways. Always, you're not rude. You're
(03:14):
a lovely human being. Anyways, Let's talk about something that
is very very important to me that I usually see
with you, but this time, because I was away, we
could watched it together. Miss Universe pageant. Do you have
anything to say about it? Oh? Amazing, you have nothing
to say. This is something I've had to adapt, I
(03:37):
guess or or evolve into your Puerto Rican way as
an excitement because Miss Universe and Puerto Rico is like
the super Bowl pretty much Americans, and I mean she
they throw a Miss Universe parties. They all think they
know every single aspect or because we do. There you
(03:57):
guys are trying to call every shot, every play like
a coach on the field about what each lady's doing.
How she lost that point why this didn't go that way.
There's no way she's in the top ten. She's in
there because of this reason. You guys are doing like
pregame stuff. You guys are looking at stuff that's online basically,
that that we don't even see on TV. It's great,
it's nonsense. It's not nonsense. Let's say that. No. Look,
(04:19):
I I respect and admire all these pageant girls, and
they put a lot of work into it. And I
know you were a pageant girl maybe since when I'm
obsessed with it. No, listen, this year was very important
to me because I was the head judge of the
Miss Puerto Rico pageant to pick the girl that represented
Puerto Rico and her name is Madison Anderson. Very question,
Why did you say you're the head judge. Wasn't there
like ten judges? Yeah, but you're the one. I was
(04:42):
the head judge, meaning if there's a tie somehow I decide, okay.
So it's a I didn't know that you're the head judge.
I think I was. Wasn't you just made that? U?
There was like ten judges? No? I think that wasn't it? Yeah?
That was you Never tell me your head judge. I was,
but that experience watching Miss Puerto Rico in Puerto Rico
(05:02):
is it was beautiful. People were going crazy. So whoever
saw the pageant, the Miss Universe, we she was first
runner up. I had like, like I felt like a
responsibility towards this whole process because this girl when she
won in Puerto Rico, Um, it was a very controversial
win because number one, she was born and raised in Orlando.
(05:22):
She's half Puerto Rican have American, and her mom is
from Puerto Rico. Her daddy is American, I believe. And
she looks um what people think is an American white girl. Yeah,
she's very white, blonde hair, light eyes. She is a bar,
but she's like a Puerto Rican bar. But she's absolutely
exquisite and stunning. And her Spanish wasn't her first language.
(05:43):
So a lot of people were completely against it when
she won because she will say she doesn't represent us.
I took offense to that because I think, you know
what she feels Puerto Rican. She's half Puerto Rican, she
wants to represent this country. She eats what we eat.
She she's trying her best. So you made this your
personal So it was a what was the personal thing?
For me because it was almost like my more daughter Sabella.
Not that I don't think she's like fantasy and you
(06:05):
think you drafted a perfect team or I think I
think she drafted the fantasy the most complete candidate to
representatives in Miss University. There's a lot of wonderful rude. Okay,
you know when the Russian driver was right, No, runner
up is great. I mean the way it was, the
way you said, and she was I feel I wish
(06:28):
that Madison would have won. She she was Mis Universe.
She was incredibly prepared. She's I'm not gonna lie to
the South Africa contest. And she was also exquisite. Um
and congratulations to her. No, it's incredible, incredible Understen. Her
message was relevant and important and yeah, and she wanted
she answered every single question properly. I think next time
(06:50):
you're just gonna record you watching Miss Universe so people
can I went live stream. I mean, I mean you
lead that, guys, I mean you lead that. And my hotel. Um.
The TV was very very small, and it had Fox
and Telemundo, but it was like Fox News, Fox Sports,
Fox had everything but the normal Fox and then tell
the Moon International was not going to show out the pageant.
(07:12):
I'm freaking out, going where am I going to see
this thing? So a good friend of ours knows a
couple that live in Punta, which is this beautiful area
very close. You know, I think so too. Why am
I correcting? You know? I think I say put, but
then everybody calls So it's a gorgeous area. Um in
(07:35):
nad I think it's what they call that, that's right.
So basically she was freaking out because she couldn't watch
Miss Universe. So she had to arrange transportation, a whole
set up so she could actually watch Miss Universe in
another country because she was going to pass out, as
she calls it. And you know what happened. Okay, First
of all, I get to this place. I don't know
this couple. They were lovely, now we became really good friends.
(07:56):
I get there and it's a resort. It's an in
the most incredible house I've ever seen in my life.
It was beautiful. So I get there and they're struggling
because it was They get the West coast feet and
I'm going, no, no, no, no, I need to see
it live. It starts at six and it's like six.
I lost the first twenty minutes of the pageant. The guy,
God bless him. He's like a tech savvy. He likes
(08:16):
you know, I work looking out. I'm trying to behave
like I'm cool, but I am dying because the pagan
it's like already twenty twenty minutes, it's been going twenty minute.
I was inside and there was so sweet and then
and the wife was like, but you know he's a genius.
He'll he'll make it work. Are you okay? I'm going no, No,
I'm fine, I'm fine, And inside I'm literally like sweating.
(08:38):
But he got it and I was able to watch
it and Tan Tank that's my story. Congratulations. Um what's
the name of the South African that she has? A
very pretty interesting name? Congratulations South Africa is Zuzi ben Z? Yes?
You know what this day said that that she fainted
when Oprah? Would you Oh no, I think oprized incredible,
(09:00):
but no, it would have feigned. I have a lot
of questions for yeah, really, like what point he's putting
on the spot. I don't know. I wouldn't know what
it's like to become Oprah. Who's your who's your hero?
Like somebody that you look up to and you're like,
oh my god, I can't wait to meet that person
one day. It would be my Brad pit because you
want to be bred Pitt. That's looking he actually guys.
(09:21):
Full disclosure, Eric wants to be bred and everybody somebody
and you know, w this time. It was the only
time I was ever star struck, really the only time.
I don't get star struck at all by meeting celebrities. Athletes. Yes,
love meeting athletes. I meet an athlete and I'm like,
do you have two men crush bred Pid and Tom Brady? I? Yeah,
(09:42):
I do. Uh fan girl, A bit of a Tom Brady.
I get a lot of a lot of crap for that.
And I'm not even a Patriots fan, but Tom Brady's
a stud. I'm just gonna say what it is. And people,
you know, get upset at their deflating the balls and
da da dad, this and that nonsense. This guy is
the greatest of all time. Anyways, I met Brad Pitt
once and I was star struck met him, and I did.
(10:04):
I walked into an elevator I was going to my
management company. We happened to be at the same company,
and a hand comes in to stop the elevator door
from closing, and the next step in is Brad Pitt.
It's just me and Brad Pitt in an elevator, and
I was like, the lady who cuts my hair also
cuts Brad's hair. I have to say something to Brad.
So I said, Brad, you know Rebecca, she cuts my
(10:28):
hair and I just know you guys your friends. Oh
my god, I love back. She's so cool. Are you
here with the company. No, as I'm on my second
meeting here, I wish you the best man. Gave me
a big handshake and said, go nail it. Super cool guy.
That's the end of my story. So you did, and
that said Brad Pitt's awesome. That's it. Yeah, And he
(10:50):
gets some people like, you know, I think I've been
with you for almost fifteen years, and like maybe two
or three times people actually go, man, you look like
a Brad Pitt. And you get so it's like your
your as fools is full of air and you work
with like a like a specific step. You get so excited. Wait,
you told me a story that this is a friend
of our friend of hers that she met in Mexico.
(11:10):
You told me a story that freaked me out. I
want to go back to this for a second, because
I you met a friend who had an experience, doesn't
know where she got this, and it's funny because it's
not really funny, but it's something that I could see
you going through and then our household becoming like World
War You'd be what do you mean? Life is over?
What are you talking about? Your friend got a parasite
(11:31):
somewhere I know, and you told me the craziest story
because you're she already stopped eating sushi. I love eating sushi.
I have no problem with raw fish. However, I do
fish gives gusanos. Explain what she believes sushi gives you worms.
I don't believe it. I know it for a fact.
I did a calonic Do you know what's a calonic? Colon? Cleans?
They put water through and then stuff comes out. And
(11:58):
the stuff that I was sixty one down, I don't
know what you saw come out. If we're going to
take about you know, there's a tube with stuff coming
out of it, it could be it could be your
stomach lining, it could be your flora. It could did
you take it out and put under microscope? He doesn't
have to be okay, thank you. Did you look at it?
(12:19):
Did you tell you this is such a such type
of worm? Yeah, he didn't have a worm from a
freaking sushi Anyway. He said to me, do you eat pork?
And I said, yes, stop it in pork. Do you
eat sushi? I'm going at least twice a week. I goes,
you need to stop it in sushi. Is all bacteria
going into your body. Great, there goes a sushi spot.
(12:40):
I still eat sushi for those years. Nonsense. Listen, this
person she met, This is a true story. Eight something
doesn't know what, doesn't know where I started feeling ill.
Maybe like a year later. Time goes by and she
starts feeling ill, gets a little bit like you know it,
starts throwing up and just gets pretty severe and says,
I need to go to the doctor, but doesn't want
(13:01):
to go to the doctor in the country she's in.
She wants to be home, wants to go to her
regular doctor, and goes and does all these tests and
they find a parasite in her body that was so
large that they said it must have been there at
least a year. Had laid eggs. All the eggs had
hatched and they had moved all over her body and
into her lungs, and had she waited a week or
(13:22):
two longer, it was going to be in her brain
and she was going to die. Yeah, so she gave
me something. Yeah, she parasitic eggs in her life, would
never be the same person. No, it's gone, she's fine,
that's going to stop it. If it's in your lungs, no, no, no,
if even yeah, it's it's dangerous. But she gave me
(13:43):
very mox is a pill. So you know what, you know,
what's amazing in Mexico. You can buy all kinds of
pills without prescription, right, that's tell people that's great. So
I asked her do any prescription and she's like, no,
you can get out of the the pharmacy. And it's a
it's a how do you call it, an auntie, it's
an anti viral, anti parasitic, parasitic type of thing. And
(14:04):
you go on your bio over the counter and it's
called remox and she goes, when you get home, take one.
So she's just gearing up in case she ate anything.
That I am fully loaded of everything I need from
Mexican pharmacies, and I when I get home today, I'm
going to eat it just in case. Doesn't doesn't mean
that I have anything. Listen, I didn't get sick. I
ate incredible for two weeks. It was beautiful. So I'm
perfectly fine. But just then go back to eating sushi.
(14:25):
Then now you're popping this parasit like that. I don't
need bacterious like that. You do. It's ridiculous. Well, it's
a true story, don't do it. All right, we'll tell me.
I want to talk a little bit about this. Uh,
this was a weird transition from parasites, and you brought
it up everything to uh the Whole Child, Whole Brain
Child book. But I want to talk. I don't want
(14:45):
to talk to you about this because you did a
lot of reading. You had a lot of time in Mexico,
because you're by yourself and I had the kids. And
you read the book The Whole Brain Child, which I've
been wanting you to read for a while, and I'm
glad you were isolated in a place where you had
to read it. I myself have not read it. Revolutionary
Strategies to Nurture your Child's Developing Mind by Daniel Segeal
(15:08):
and Tina Payne, Rice and the two doctors kind of
like scientists, and they based sis um. They explain to
you how to the New York Time best seller. I
recommend every single parent, especially if you have young kids,
to read it The Whole Brain Child, and it explains
to you in a scientific medical way, haye, but easy
(15:30):
and simple to understand that, um, how the brain works.
And I had no idea that the brain has like um,
the left brain and the right brain and the opera brain.
And this was interesting. I was calling her actually for her.
I was. I was a bit at a loss. She
left for a week and our son for whatever reason,
it could have been because she had had left UM,
(15:51):
but that whole first week he was up at five
am every day. And that was Thanksgiving break, so kids
are out of school. I ended up having most a
week off from work. It was like my one chance
to possibly rest and get some sleep while she was
basically in Mexico sleeping every day, shoe every moment she
wasn't working, and my kid was up at five am,
maybe even before thirty at times every single morning. I'm like,
(16:15):
what is happening to this kid? So he was missing mommy.
It's possible which side of the brain was missing. Mommy
that it would be the right brain, because that's the
one that controls like all the emotions and you know,
everything that is emotional and sentiments and feelings and tantrums
and everything that it that it has to do with
um that they can control. It's the right more rational,
(16:37):
it's about decisions. It's a it's so this is kind
of a flip of the coin here because I'm usually
the one that's way into the scientific stuff when it
comes to kids and analytics and figuring out, Okay, this
is the protocol and this is what the book says,
and you're more of like, I don't know, just grab
a leaf from outside and crumble it up and sprinkle
it on them. They'll feel better. Put some God have
(17:01):
meet this berry. I found it here, you know, my
mom said, if you just mix it with this west
So what did I What did you learn from the
book that maybe you know made you appreciate the what
I think that you have to talk to your children
at all times and explain um everything, I don't even
know how to how to put it into words. He
(17:21):
was the most incredible. It talks about tantrums. How do
you deal with tantrums. It's like when when the right
part of the brain, on the lower part of the brain, um,
they flipped the lid right, when they go from zero
to sixty and they go irrational, and there's you as parents.
We get so frustrated and the instinct is to go.
If you don't stop that, I'm not gonna give you this.
(17:43):
Pick them up, and exactly I'm giving in. So it's
teaching you that once they flipped the lid right and
they get to it's almost like and it's interesting, what
how do you say, amigdalagdala? I have to find out
more because I'm very confused. I thought they make love
was something that you have right here, uh, the back
of your throat, and if it gives you problems, you
(18:04):
take it out to Oh oh my guys. The entire
time I was reading the bow. What happens if you
take the big allow that you have no nowhere to
control anything? Is the TONSI normal? We call it amigallas?
(18:25):
Oh my god, townsils are amigallas. No, oh my god,
what guys, Sorry, I had a little the tonsils amygdala's
for tonsils are amigos. Anyway, So they talk about how
the amygdala is this little thing we have that controls
(18:45):
pretty much everywhere. Oh it is, its exactly. So I
don't know if those but I must I am right. Actually,
I'm not stupid anyways, I think, but I don't know
if the amigdeala they're talking about. It's just is the
tonsils santas are two, right, there's two. Yeah, this one
is just like an amygdala. Anyways, when they when the
(19:05):
magdala takes over, the little brain goes hey wire, and
you have to be you need to be able to
control them and bring them back. The way to bring
them back is through being rational. Um. So here's the
amigdala in the brain. This is where it's looking for
that that thing. So that amigdella in the brain you'rens
and Spanish, it is probably pronounced different the way we're
(19:27):
saying it, but there it is in the brain. Okay.
So that little thing that looks like little thingy right,
that little little thing it actually does look like a
little thing. A little thing is a very important little
thing in your body because it controls a lot of things.
So when when that gets completely out of whacked, Um,
you need to rationalize with your kid um, and to
give you to give you a very simple example. UM,
(19:49):
where at the sushi restaurant, right, because you love to
eat sushi and bacteria. So when we're the restaurant, UM,
let's say Dylan wants to eat uh one thing like
the ten things and you're like, that's too much, you
only have to eat one. And then he walks away
and he just throws a tantroom. Everybody's looking. So instead
of going over and say you just stop right now,
(20:09):
you start right now. I'm gonna leave right. Don't approach
it that way because you're feeding the beast. It's basically
approach it all the time and you're like, here's the phone.
Stop anyway. What you're saying, you need to be able
to control that brain right and just level with them
and not don't lose your cool. Doesn't mean that it's
(20:30):
going to work all the time, but it's the way
of teaching your kid to be able to let go
of the right side, allow the left side to come
in and balance everything. So you go, let me finish.
So you go, what what do you feel, sweety? I
want to eat ten and and not and not one? Okay,
so why do I understand you're you're feeling upset. I
get it, and it's valid, But why don't you start
to negotiate. Let's go back to daddy and say, Daddy,
(20:52):
I want to eat more than one, maybe not ten,
but can we find maybe a number? And you need
to get them out of the phone by speaking, get
their attention on some thing, to distract them into something else.
Distracted into something else, and then you talk to them
and you're going to see not a nine percent of
the time when you start lifting the lid. By talking
and giving them a choice and having them participate in
(21:14):
the whole trauma, right, it's a perfect way for them
to control themselves. I love all these new ways of
parenting and like what the books say because I'm all
about trying them and rationalizing and talking and doing things
in a different way than the way we were probably
you know, brought up, but I do. And when I
was a kid, I did not like this, But now
as an adult, I do appreciate how when I would
(21:34):
act up at a restaurant as a kid, my mom
would just look at me and I was like, because
it doesn't exist. I don't get that doesn't exist anymore.
My dad's gonna come down hard. Look at dayline with
a look and they're like, what I know, but I
missed you know, I mean you Oh my gosh. It
was so much easier when I was a kid. I
guess I just knew I needed to shut up. Not anymore. No,
(21:58):
now they challenge you there. Why you're different is was
like different, their wire different. We've Yeah, we're allowing them
to find their own identity and their strengths and try
and rationalize with them and talk to them and make
them little people. Another thing that is super important, guys,
is to nurture their memory. I know. It's like it
explains that the way their brain works, it's memories, like
you have to you have to exercise the muscle. Is like,
(22:18):
you need to constantly challenge them to think about stories.
That's why this thing that I'm playing with Tabella, I
started doing it over the phone in Mexico is saying
go to your kid that is like seven eight night
ten right, um that they tend to get lazy and
and just challenge their mind and do a game every
single day and you just go, you know, tell me
two things that happened at school and one that you're
making up and I have to guess which one is true,
(22:40):
which which one are the two that are real and
the one that you just made up. And it's a
way of having them have like a recollection of their day,
recollection of the day, so they it forces them to
think about things that happened and then use their imagination
and coming up with a completely random story. It was clever.
I actually I played last night for the first time.
It was fine, and it gets it gets them talking
(23:00):
because you know, most time kids come home, there's like,
what you do today? Was it fun? It was good?
I do nothing. I blame kickball. That's all I did.
And they don't tell you about anything they did the
entire day, and you're like, that's all you did. But
this is a good way of getting them to share.
And it made it fun. Yeah, it's fun. And then
something else. Guys, when you got you, I feel like
a throp. It's now my personally, this is like you
we've traded places. I hope I'm doing it justice. So
(23:22):
I apologize to the author's if I'm just changing things.
But this was my interpretation what I took from it. Um,
that is great, and I you know, it's even worse
for adults. A way of helping get rid of a
traumatic experience or um, a trauma like me crouse, claustrophobia
or something is that you need to talk about it
(23:44):
in the way of you need to go back and
you need to force your mind to go back and
retell the story over and over and over, write about it,
drew it. So let's say, so can we do that
with you? Because I am tired of always you. I
don't remember an incident though, I don't remember trying to
the ruin of your problem. I don't know where is
it coming from. That's problem. Taking the elevator up to
record the podcast not what I took it. I was
(24:06):
very proud. And then of course you picked the wrong
freaking floor, so we went to the wrong and we
got locked, and I'm going, Jesus, now, this is my
worst nightmare. But anyways, um, yeah, so that's so yeah.
The whole brain child, the problem that we're gonna have
is that because I read it and you didn't, when
I try to discipline my kids, no, I'm all for it.
I like, what are you doing you? I'm like, according
to the book, so you have to find good I'm
(24:28):
actually good with that. All right on that. Let's take
a break and we're gonna come back and talk about
marriage story Netflix. I'm gonna tell you something about our marriage.
Guy listening, okay? That meaning okay? I guess what was
(24:57):
what was waiting on top of the kitchen. I didn't
buy it for me. He bought it for him. You're
about to leave something out. You came back and there
were flowers. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about
he got the vitamin. I remember that. He was talking
about getting me a vitam mix for Christmas, but I
(25:20):
ended up getting your shoes for your anniversary because the
vitamins got a lot of heat. But he got it. Anyways, guys,
and you know what, and he made me a juice
of vegetable juice this morning, and I love it so
thank you for you love it right, I'm telling you
everyone out there, and it makes you sponsor the show.
Everyone out if you don't have changed my life, this
is It's an entire salad pulverized into a juice. Literally
(25:44):
there's no pulp. So he got to guys and Vita Max.
I'm gonna take a picture of it and show everybody,
just so they laugh. Anyways, they're gonna laugh. You should laugh.
But the fact that you didn't even notice. I put
the flowers on the it for you to come home,
and it's an happy anniversary, welcome home. And then there
was a jar of vapor troupe right next to it. No,
(26:05):
I didn't notice that. Are you joking? That is funny. Oh,
I'm going to take a picture. That's what I didn't
notice that. Oh my god, my mom knows it. This
morning she said, look at my arm gross? Why wait?
Am I sweating? Why even bring that up? I don't know.
I just would like this and going, oh I feel
goody and feel like, oh God, sometimes censor yourself. I'm
(26:26):
not talking about talking about my armpits. God, I never sweat.
That's funny. Anyways, you know that I'm a non sweater.
Clearly not. I know, clearly not today. Um, Eric marriage story,
what about it? It's it's our marriage story. It's a
movie on the Netflix one, yes, Caroli Johansson and Adam Driver.
(26:49):
I saw it in Mexico. It was freaking amazing. You
need to what I need to see it. But I
have a feeling it's about marriage falling apart. It is
about a marriage folding apart? You know about what the
clever thing and the way it's so beautifully written is
because it's marriage falling apart. It falls apart, but the
love is there, there is. It was so well written
and well acted. And as a married person with a kid,
(27:13):
you know when once you have children, everything changes in
the marriage, you know, and when things go bad and
if you're a good parent and if you're a good person,
it's all about how can we keep this mind mind intact,
the health by the mental health of the of the kid.
And they try so hard and you root for them
to stay together, but they don't and and how you
ruin the whole thing? Sorry, oh my god, what you mean? Now?
(27:37):
You need to watch it anyways? You need to watch
it anyway. Why they break up? No, no, no, because
it's not about that. It's about the journey. Forget about
the outcome. It's about the journey and how they go
through it. And this is what's crazy. This was crazy
so and I'm sure it happens to a lot of couples.
You love somebody, somebody dearly. If you get into a
funk in the marriage, you want to separate, right and
you have the best intentions to make it as clean
(27:58):
and as simple as possible, because there's love and there's respect,
but because of outside circumstances and people influencing you and misunderstandings,
things start getting uglier and uglier. And it's it's like
out of their control and it's happening right in front
of their eyes and they can't recognize it. So they
go from let's do this very amicable to its war.
(28:19):
And the way it's written is so seamless, and it
broke my heart because I'm married and I'm going, this
is what happens when when when you lose your north
you know what I mean, and and and there's children involved,
and you have lawyers telling you this and and pulling
you in all different places. And then of course there
was one infidelity. And you know a woman will love
you and respect you. But if you do that, honey,
(28:39):
you'll take you to the cleaners. That's what happens with girls.
It does about you're a wonderful person and a wonderful woman,
and you respect this man. If there's a third person involved,
you'll lose your You always say, like the woman, because
I'm talking about marriage story, and it was there are time. Listen, ladies,
(28:59):
if you have the affair, the dude is going to
lose his mind. You always you always point the finger
at the guy because the majority of the time it
is like the one that does. Okay, I guys can't.
I mean, I don't know. Maybe maybe it's which is
what I'm talking about. Another big story point you just
(29:23):
gave away. Yeah, so guys, don't watch Unbelievable. You're telling everything.
It's about the journey. You have to see it anyways.
You have to see it in a ways. It is
beautifully written. Acted I think these people are gonna win
all kinds of awards. Um, if you're married, I don't
think you don't know. Your parents are super amicable. No,
they're amazing. I said, I don't think you would ever
(29:44):
be applicable for depending depends on what you do. Think.
If anybody take the trash out, he'd be like, kid, Yeah,
I'm taking here to the clean as because there's trash.
It's been sitting here in the little room. I might,
I might know when it's to you. I don't want
but I got your shoes to the anniversary. No, no,
(30:07):
I want to do that. And I always tell you
you do you do that, you know, you know the outcome,
but we don't even have to know if you do
if you misbehavior, I'm talking about that. I'm just talking
about an amical I'm talking about divorce. You mean amicable.
You could work the divorce. Do you think you would
be amicable? Depending on the circumstances. My my plan would
(30:28):
be to be amicable because of Dylan, because part see,
no kids involved. I could be totally amicable. Kids involved,
then that's that's why you should be. No. I mean,
I would do my best for the kids. But it is, uh,
that is the hardest part hard And I'm product of divorced.
My parents were great at it. And I mean I
used to live a month with my dad and a
(30:51):
month with my mom. I would move my my entire existence.
I would move every single month till I was sixteen.
That's crazy. I mean everything, my pets, my clothe I
mean everything would move from house to house every single month.
The good thing about that was I got, you know,
an equal experience with each parent. The hard part I
can imagine for them is you don't I would see
(31:13):
them at functions and things like that or like a weekend,
but you don't see that parent for a month at
a time. Ye, your your parents did something really outstanding,
which was, um, I don't know exactly what went down.
I don't think you you even know what went down
for them to get a divorce when you were eight
years old. But they stayed. They kept it very civil,
and they stayed friends, so super close friends, and they're
(31:33):
super close friends. And Eric never experienced a dad bad
mouthing the mom or a mom bad mouthing the dad.
You know, he had nothing but respect for his parents.
And I think that shape that shaped you, you know,
which is incredible. And most of the time when there's
a divorce involved, um, it's so bitter and it's just
such time in your life that that the the tendency
is for the other pattern to be like yeah, mom
(31:53):
and your dad, you know, and all the kid does
is it's here negative things about the other person, and
it's very damaging. So you to the point that Gwen,
that's his mom. She did the wedding cake because your
father maybe like four times, Yes, she said a couple
of wedding cakes his father. Whyne is like rico, son't
(32:13):
I know? She doesn't want a gains whatever. Freaking she'll
keep making a cake. Should be like, just keep him
with you, exactly, keep it with I. I ain't gonna
be making any wedding cake for you. What if it's cordial?
Could you you think you'd ever get to the place
like even your your brother and your sister in law,
they're you're you have been divorced and uh they're married.
(32:36):
Now I'm sorry, but your sister in law has been
divorced and they're close friends with her, have dinner and
his wife and sister in Lowland. But she was previously
married and she has a daughter, Paulina from a first marriage.
And yes, you know what, my that is an incredible
example of like doing it right. The family all be
married and they're all they're very close friends and it's
(32:56):
a beautiful thing. Could you do that with me? What
being a family dinner with me and my new lady
depending on the new don't talk like we've know anyway,
So guys, be careful parasites. Um um. Next year Puerto
(33:17):
Rico is winning the Miss Universe. Do you think that
Adam Driver or Scarlett Johannason will win an Oscar for this? Um?
You know what? I have to see the competent. I
know there's a lot of great performances, but I think
that if they do um, they deserve it. I think
they did incredible, both of them. And you listen. There's
(33:39):
an actress that plays her sister that has a not
a lot of scenes, and she is she basically stole
the scenes. It was fantastic. Everybody saw. I know. I
think she was nominated for gold. Laura Dern No, no, no,
Laura Dern plays her lawyer. Yeah, she's nominated. I think so. Anyway,
(33:59):
so I highly recommend it, especially if you want to
learn about relationships and and and human nature. I guess
you know what I mean, and how to don't listen
to us, don't listen to us, watch it, watch the movie.
I have lit. Know, let's take a little breaking because
when when we come back, I have a little game
that I want to play with you. M okay, okay,
(34:31):
we are back, and I have three quick questions for you. Okay,
feels like dangerous. Question Number one, why do you think
we met? Why do I think we met? Huh, that's
a good question. I Uh. I do believe sort of
(34:56):
in you know, fate and things lining up, and I
think there was a purpose. And I think, I actually
think a big part of the reason we met is
that we we are two people that definitely bring out
different sides in each other and better aspects of each
other in our in our spiritual, in our life growth.
(35:19):
And I think, not to get like crazy heavy, but
I think, because we're so different, how do we never
have met? We would not have been able to tap
into the things in our lives and our personality that
we have been able to now because we're so different.
If I had met somebody who was more similar this
and that, I may not have found these other aspects
and drives and things in my life that I think
(35:42):
it made me a better person. So I think it was.
It was. It was fate. Very pretty okay. Second question,
why do you think we met? I'm asking you, know, no,
I'm asking you. Let me finish my three questions. Um,
what's the hardest part about dating you? The hardest part
(36:04):
about dating me? Well, I think I'm pretty easy. Oh
my god. Um. I did dat a girl once though,
and it didn't work because it was me and I
didn't realize. I didn't realize this until I saw an
episode of Seinfeld. This is a true story. As in
college is dating a girl. It seems like checked all
(36:26):
the boxes. I'm like, why am I just not into
this girl? Same birthday, everything, And I'm like, this is
just not right. And then all of a sudden, I
watched the Seinfeld episode and he was dating Jeane Garoffalo
and the whole episode was about Seinfeld dating someone who
was just like himself, and I was like, that's the problem,
and I broke up with her the next week. I
was like, I'm dating myself. Well, let me ask you
something that and this is this is funny that we
(36:48):
I was in Mexico, right and I found this restaurant
that I love called Leda and I either every single time,
and there was a waiter Mexican, um guy, super super
cool that we got to talk a lot, and he
was telling me, I mean, he's recovered holiday and he's
only twenty nine years old and he's been through a
lot and now he's doing great. Blah blah blah. Anyways,
like I have a question for you as a man.
(37:09):
He was telling me that he met this girl from
Canada that went to say your Leader on vacation, like
like for three months she was there and she was
like the most beautiful thing. She is that he has
ever seen, the coolest girl. She was. I was enover
right and couldn't have sex with her. But I mean
like he couldn't get in an erection, he said, I
it was the weirdest thing. I was like, she was
(37:31):
so great he couldn't have Actually, he said I couldn't.
I wasn't. I I thought this is the girl that
I'm gonna marry because I this girl is my dream woman.
And they couldn't have any intimacy. He was that he couldn't.
He didn't explain to you why they could see this.
I wish I was talking about the dude, I like,
how does that happen? Is that possible that you fancied
somebody a lot as a man and you just can't
get it up well? And I think you can have
(37:53):
said maybe he just wasn't. I don't know what his
problem was. Maybe he just wasn't into it. Um, but
he said she was can yeah, but you can be
let me look, you can be physically attracted and just
sort of have a one off with somebody in a sense,
but not be into repeating that all the time, because
it's like the intimacy doesn't line up like, there's no
I don't understand that. I don't know all the details.
(38:17):
That's possible. Smells where all right? What was my question again? Anyway?
What was my question was what? Yeah, you didn't even
ask my question. My question what is what are we
talking about some gross smells that the guy doesn't want
to sleep with? It was what is the hardest part
about dating you? I'm probably like, I'm type A and
(38:41):
I like to and I do have I don't call
it controlling, but I have my ways of doing things,
and I yeah, I've had to learn very controlling, very controlling.
This has been the topic of conversations. Answer my question.
Because you think everything is controlling, you think things controlling,
make sure you do this. You're controlling me. I just
(39:03):
asked you to take the kid to school. You're controlling me.
I don't have time. It's like, do you think everything
is controlling? You think everything is controlled? That one of
my peeves. I cannot but some things can be controlling,
some things are nothing, But you interpret everything is controlling.
All right? Anyways, I guess I thinks I'm so type
A and I am setting my ways and a lot
(39:24):
and a lot of respects. Uh, that can be the
most challenging part. But I am I am a person
who likes to evolve, and I can I can mold,
and I can work, and I believe in compromise. So
I don't think it's that bad. Next question, what are
your What are you most grateful for in this current moment?
My family? When you say family, you mean your kids,
(39:45):
my wife, my kids, the whole, the whole caboodle, the
whole thing. You know, it's I think that's one of
the hardest things to accomplish. And I think, you know,
career and all these things are great, but I always
go back to me and the said the Mr Mom
episodees not nonsense. You know, I love being a dad
and I love being married and having a family, and
(40:06):
I think that's at the core what sort of defines me. Okay,
it looks so unconvinced by that. That's really weird. I guys,
see your face. Okay, no, no, no, no, I just
want to wrap it up. And I believe everything you said,
and I think and I had a feeling that yeah, familia,
familia is everything to you. And I know that in
my heart that familia is everything to you. Um so
(40:28):
what I feel like I need to ask you some questions. No, no,
next time. So what did we learn today? We learned
that Puerto Ricans are beautiful with what Okay, Russia driver
my my new bff. He is mad. I'm sorry that
was not directed to you if you ever hear this,
(40:49):
And we have five verses okay mr Mr Rudy, Mr
Rudy Giuliani, um, and then okay, so Puerto Ricans are beautiful.
Then we learned that need to go and get the
whole bank, get the whole bridge. Child, you need to
go see marriage story. And next time, you know, we
take your anti medication marks. I think it's called take
(41:12):
your antiparasitic medication. And then you know, I have some
people on Instagram they have actually asked questions that they
want us to answer, a topics that they wanted to
talk about. So we promise we're going to do a
list of all those questions or topics and there's gonna
be a podcast dedicated to all your questions and topics.
So we really do want to hear from you. We
want to hear about your comments, we want to ask
(41:32):
your answer your questions, and we want to talk about
what you want to hear, so please you can email
us your topics at Eric and Roz at I heart
radio dot com, follow us at he said a DHO
podcast on Instagram. Let us know what you want to hear.
We'll talk about it. I love you, I love you.
Subscribe to he said a VHO on iHeart Radio, Apple
(41:55):
podcast or anywhere you get your podcasts
This is he said, with Eric Winter and Rodalin Fantez.
Welcome back. I'm back. She's in town. Sorry, we're a
little late with this podcast. We like it to be
out on Monday, but we're a couple of days late
because I was working. I was going for what a
couple of weeks said, you leave the magic It was beautiful. Yes,
(00:25):
So I'm back, guys. I came back last night. I'm
super excited. Um, are you happy that I'm super happy?
Your home? So you're not calling on FaceTime every hour?
You know what happened? Like every hour? This is like
I travel and I yeah, every time I call you
to talk to the kids or just say hi, I'm
facing You're like, I'm busy. I get this going out
all the time. Can you call it back in five minutes?
(00:46):
And then you call every single hour to see the
kids as if something has changed dropped them. Well, to me,
yeah it changed. They grow very fast. You're gonna do
something that I'm gonn. I'm gonna make you feel bad
just so you don't do it again. I have this man,
this car service picked me up. So we're driving back
from l a Way with the studio city and I'm
(01:07):
lying in the bag, and I'm like, oh my god,
I want to see the kids. It's six six pm.
I know Eric is gonna probably start giving him a bath,
but I want to see him. And I think it's cute.
You're gonna be home in twenty minutes. That's not the point.
I just learned that I want to see my kid.
So I call him on FaceTime and typical Eric because
he can do one more than one thing at a time.
So it's the end of the world because I called
(01:27):
when he's about to give him about to ras ras.
I'm busy. I'm busy. It's like, all you have to
do is just play the phone in a little corner.
That's it, right, and then you can do whatever you're doing.
And the phone is pointing towards Dylan, and I said,
Dylan taking a bath, that's all you have to do.
So you're let me find He's so flustered. I can't
do it. I can do it. Just call back. I
(01:48):
just called you back, and I just hung up the phone.
So like, I mean, crazy traffic. It took like an
hour and twenty minutes to get back home because of
rush hour traffic, and this old man from maybe Russian
with a very thick accent. He's asking me, where are
you from going from Puerto Rico and your husband? And
I said, um, he's you know, he's an l abol
he's he's American. He goes, he's a little rude. He said,
(02:10):
I was rude, rude, and I was like, oh, I know,
you know, it's just because you know, it's it's about
the time for the kids. And he gets very, very
stressed out and he's like, yeah, he was loud and rude.
Oh my god, it was I was. I was embarrassed
for you. Why was he so nice when the day
I dont talk because then we came best friends. We
(02:33):
the traffic was out of control and I was so
pissed that I was I was not gonna make it
before seven. That we talked the entire time, so he
felt like family. First of all, I wasn't rude, and
then I defended. You want to say, you're a wonderful husband. Yeah,
he's rude. Sometimes when you're overwhelmed and you have your
hands full of soap, you a kid in the bath,
there's all this stuff going on, and you know you're
gonna be home in twenty minutes. Eric it doesn't really matter.
(02:54):
The phone in a little corner. You don't even have
to touch the phone his FaceTime. I'm going to teach
you about a couple of things in life you need to.
So you just blindside of me with this. It's not true.
It's a joke. It's not true, though it's funny. He
was when I call him Facebook or Facebook Facebook FaceTime,
you call him Facebook anyways. Always, you're not rude. You're
(03:14):
a lovely human being. Anyways, Let's talk about something that
is very very important to me that I usually see
with you, but this time, because I was away, we
could watched it together. Miss Universe pageant. Do you have
anything to say about it? Oh? Amazing, you have nothing
to say. This is something I've had to adapt, I
(03:37):
guess or or evolve into your Puerto Rican way as
an excitement because Miss Universe and Puerto Rico is like
the super Bowl pretty much Americans, and I mean she
they throw a Miss Universe parties. They all think they
know every single aspect or because we do. There you
(03:57):
guys are trying to call every shot, every play like
a coach on the field about what each lady's doing.
How she lost that point why this didn't go that way.
There's no way she's in the top ten. She's in
there because of this reason. You guys are doing like
pregame stuff. You guys are looking at stuff that's online basically,
that that we don't even see on TV. It's great,
it's nonsense. It's not nonsense. Let's say that. No. Look,
(04:19):
I I respect and admire all these pageant girls, and
they put a lot of work into it. And I
know you were a pageant girl maybe since when I'm
obsessed with it. No, listen, this year was very important
to me because I was the head judge of the
Miss Puerto Rico pageant to pick the girl that represented
Puerto Rico and her name is Madison Anderson. Very question,
Why did you say you're the head judge. Wasn't there
like ten judges? Yeah, but you're the one. I was
(04:42):
the head judge, meaning if there's a tie somehow I decide, okay.
So it's a I didn't know that you're the head judge.
I think I was. Wasn't you just made that? U?
There was like ten judges? No? I think that wasn't it? Yeah?
That was you Never tell me your head judge. I was,
but that experience watching Miss Puerto Rico in Puerto Rico
(05:02):
is it was beautiful. People were going crazy. So whoever
saw the pageant, the Miss Universe, we she was first
runner up. I had like, like I felt like a
responsibility towards this whole process because this girl when she
won in Puerto Rico, Um, it was a very controversial
win because number one, she was born and raised in Orlando.
(05:22):
She's half Puerto Rican have American, and her mom is
from Puerto Rico. Her daddy is American, I believe. And
she looks um what people think is an American white girl. Yeah,
she's very white, blonde hair, light eyes. She is a bar,
but she's like a Puerto Rican bar. But she's absolutely
exquisite and stunning. And her Spanish wasn't her first language.
(05:43):
So a lot of people were completely against it when
she won because she will say she doesn't represent us.
I took offense to that because I think, you know
what she feels Puerto Rican. She's half Puerto Rican, she
wants to represent this country. She eats what we eat.
She she's trying her best. So you made this your
personal So it was a what was the personal thing?
For me because it was almost like my more daughter Sabella.
Not that I don't think she's like fantasy and you
(06:05):
think you drafted a perfect team or I think I
think she drafted the fantasy the most complete candidate to
representatives in Miss University. There's a lot of wonderful rude. Okay,
you know when the Russian driver was right, No, runner
up is great. I mean the way it was, the
way you said, and she was I feel I wish
(06:28):
that Madison would have won. She she was Mis Universe.
She was incredibly prepared. She's I'm not gonna lie to
the South Africa contest. And she was also exquisite. Um
and congratulations to her. No, it's incredible, incredible Understen. Her
message was relevant and important and yeah, and she wanted
she answered every single question properly. I think next time
(06:50):
you're just gonna record you watching Miss Universe so people
can I went live stream. I mean, I mean you
lead that, guys, I mean you lead that. And my hotel. Um.
The TV was very very small, and it had Fox
and Telemundo, but it was like Fox News, Fox Sports,
Fox had everything but the normal Fox and then tell
the Moon International was not going to show out the pageant.
(07:12):
I'm freaking out, going where am I going to see
this thing? So a good friend of ours knows a
couple that live in Punta, which is this beautiful area
very close. You know, I think so too. Why am
I correcting? You know? I think I say put, but
then everybody calls So it's a gorgeous area. Um in
(07:35):
nad I think it's what they call that, that's right.
So basically she was freaking out because she couldn't watch
Miss Universe. So she had to arrange transportation, a whole
set up so she could actually watch Miss Universe in
another country because she was going to pass out, as
she calls it. And you know what happened. Okay, First
of all, I get to this place. I don't know
this couple. They were lovely, now we became really good friends.
(07:56):
I get there and it's a resort. It's an in
the most incredible house I've ever seen in my life.
It was beautiful. So I get there and they're struggling
because it was They get the West coast feet and
I'm going, no, no, no, no, I need to see
it live. It starts at six and it's like six.
I lost the first twenty minutes of the pageant. The guy,
God bless him. He's like a tech savvy. He likes
(08:16):
you know, I work looking out. I'm trying to behave
like I'm cool, but I am dying because the pagan
it's like already twenty twenty minutes, it's been going twenty minute.
I was inside and there was so sweet and then
and the wife was like, but you know he's a genius.
He'll he'll make it work. Are you okay? I'm going no, No,
I'm fine, I'm fine, And inside I'm literally like sweating.
(08:38):
But he got it and I was able to watch
it and Tan Tank that's my story. Congratulations. Um what's
the name of the South African that she has? A
very pretty interesting name? Congratulations South Africa is Zuzi ben Z? Yes?
You know what this day said that that she fainted
when Oprah? Would you Oh no, I think oprized incredible,
(09:00):
but no, it would have feigned. I have a lot
of questions for yeah, really, like what point he's putting
on the spot. I don't know. I wouldn't know what
it's like to become Oprah. Who's your who's your hero?
Like somebody that you look up to and you're like,
oh my god, I can't wait to meet that person
one day. It would be my Brad pit because you
want to be bred Pitt. That's looking he actually guys.
(09:21):
Full disclosure, Eric wants to be bred and everybody somebody
and you know, w this time. It was the only
time I was ever star struck, really the only time.
I don't get star struck at all by meeting celebrities. Athletes. Yes,
love meeting athletes. I meet an athlete and I'm like,
do you have two men crush bred Pid and Tom Brady? I? Yeah,
(09:42):
I do. Uh fan girl, A bit of a Tom Brady.
I get a lot of a lot of crap for that.
And I'm not even a Patriots fan, but Tom Brady's
a stud. I'm just gonna say what it is. And people,
you know, get upset at their deflating the balls and
da da dad, this and that nonsense. This guy is
the greatest of all time. Anyways, I met Brad Pitt
once and I was star struck met him, and I did.
(10:04):
I walked into an elevator I was going to my
management company. We happened to be at the same company,
and a hand comes in to stop the elevator door
from closing, and the next step in is Brad Pitt.
It's just me and Brad Pitt in an elevator, and
I was like, the lady who cuts my hair also
cuts Brad's hair. I have to say something to Brad.
So I said, Brad, you know Rebecca, she cuts my
(10:28):
hair and I just know you guys your friends. Oh
my god, I love back. She's so cool. Are you
here with the company. No, as I'm on my second
meeting here, I wish you the best man. Gave me
a big handshake and said, go nail it. Super cool guy.
That's the end of my story. So you did, and
that said Brad Pitt's awesome. That's it. Yeah, And he
(10:50):
gets some people like, you know, I think I've been
with you for almost fifteen years, and like maybe two
or three times people actually go, man, you look like
a Brad Pitt. And you get so it's like your
your as fools is full of air and you work
with like a like a specific step. You get so excited. Wait,
you told me a story that this is a friend
of our friend of hers that she met in Mexico.
(11:10):
You told me a story that freaked me out. I
want to go back to this for a second, because
I you met a friend who had an experience, doesn't
know where she got this, and it's funny because it's
not really funny, but it's something that I could see
you going through and then our household becoming like World
War You'd be what do you mean? Life is over?
What are you talking about? Your friend got a parasite
(11:31):
somewhere I know, and you told me the craziest story
because you're she already stopped eating sushi. I love eating sushi.
I have no problem with raw fish. However, I do
fish gives gusanos. Explain what she believes sushi gives you worms.
I don't believe it. I know it for a fact.
I did a calonic Do you know what's a calonic? Colon? Cleans?
They put water through and then stuff comes out. And
(11:58):
the stuff that I was sixty one down, I don't
know what you saw come out. If we're going to
take about you know, there's a tube with stuff coming
out of it, it could be it could be your
stomach lining, it could be your flora. It could did
you take it out and put under microscope? He doesn't
have to be okay, thank you. Did you look at it?
(12:19):
Did you tell you this is such a such type
of worm? Yeah, he didn't have a worm from a
freaking sushi Anyway. He said to me, do you eat pork?
And I said, yes, stop it in pork. Do you
eat sushi? I'm going at least twice a week. I goes,
you need to stop it in sushi. Is all bacteria
going into your body. Great, there goes a sushi spot.
(12:40):
I still eat sushi for those years. Nonsense. Listen, this
person she met, This is a true story. Eight something
doesn't know what, doesn't know where I started feeling ill.
Maybe like a year later. Time goes by and she
starts feeling ill, gets a little bit like you know it,
starts throwing up and just gets pretty severe and says,
I need to go to the doctor, but doesn't want
(13:01):
to go to the doctor in the country she's in.
She wants to be home, wants to go to her
regular doctor, and goes and does all these tests and
they find a parasite in her body that was so
large that they said it must have been there at
least a year. Had laid eggs. All the eggs had
hatched and they had moved all over her body and
into her lungs, and had she waited a week or
(13:22):
two longer, it was going to be in her brain
and she was going to die. Yeah, so she gave
me something. Yeah, she parasitic eggs in her life, would
never be the same person. No, it's gone, she's fine,
that's going to stop it. If it's in your lungs, no, no, no,
if even yeah, it's it's dangerous. But she gave me
(13:43):
very mox is a pill. So you know what, you know,
what's amazing in Mexico. You can buy all kinds of
pills without prescription, right, that's tell people that's great. So
I asked her do any prescription and she's like, no,
you can get out of the the pharmacy. And it's a
it's a how do you call it, an auntie, it's
an anti viral, anti parasitic, parasitic type of thing. And
(14:04):
you go on your bio over the counter and it's
called remox and she goes, when you get home, take one.
So she's just gearing up in case she ate anything.
That I am fully loaded of everything I need from
Mexican pharmacies, and I when I get home today, I'm
going to eat it just in case. Doesn't doesn't mean
that I have anything. Listen, I didn't get sick. I
ate incredible for two weeks. It was beautiful. So I'm
perfectly fine. But just then go back to eating sushi.
(14:25):
Then now you're popping this parasit like that. I don't
need bacterious like that. You do. It's ridiculous. Well, it's
a true story, don't do it. All right, we'll tell me.
I want to talk a little bit about this. Uh,
this was a weird transition from parasites, and you brought
it up everything to uh the Whole Child, Whole Brain
Child book. But I want to talk. I don't want
(14:45):
to talk to you about this because you did a
lot of reading. You had a lot of time in Mexico,
because you're by yourself and I had the kids. And
you read the book The Whole Brain Child, which I've
been wanting you to read for a while, and I'm
glad you were isolated in a place where you had
to read it. I myself have not read it. Revolutionary
Strategies to Nurture your Child's Developing Mind by Daniel Segeal
(15:08):
and Tina Payne, Rice and the two doctors kind of
like scientists, and they based sis um. They explain to
you how to the New York Time best seller. I
recommend every single parent, especially if you have young kids,
to read it The Whole Brain Child, and it explains
to you in a scientific medical way, haye, but easy
(15:30):
and simple to understand that, um, how the brain works.
And I had no idea that the brain has like um,
the left brain and the right brain and the opera brain.
And this was interesting. I was calling her actually for her.
I was. I was a bit at a loss. She
left for a week and our son for whatever reason,
it could have been because she had had left UM,
(15:51):
but that whole first week he was up at five
am every day. And that was Thanksgiving break, so kids
are out of school. I ended up having most a
week off from work. It was like my one chance
to possibly rest and get some sleep while she was
basically in Mexico sleeping every day, shoe every moment she
wasn't working, and my kid was up at five am,
maybe even before thirty at times every single morning. I'm like,
(16:15):
what is happening to this kid? So he was missing mommy.
It's possible which side of the brain was missing. Mommy
that it would be the right brain, because that's the
one that controls like all the emotions and you know,
everything that is emotional and sentiments and feelings and tantrums
and everything that it that it has to do with
um that they can control. It's the right more rational,
(16:37):
it's about decisions. It's a it's so this is kind
of a flip of the coin here because I'm usually
the one that's way into the scientific stuff when it
comes to kids and analytics and figuring out, Okay, this
is the protocol and this is what the book says,
and you're more of like, I don't know, just grab
a leaf from outside and crumble it up and sprinkle
it on them. They'll feel better. Put some God have
(17:01):
meet this berry. I found it here, you know, my
mom said, if you just mix it with this west
So what did I What did you learn from the
book that maybe you know made you appreciate the what
I think that you have to talk to your children
at all times and explain um everything, I don't even
know how to how to put it into words. He
(17:21):
was the most incredible. It talks about tantrums. How do
you deal with tantrums. It's like when when the right
part of the brain, on the lower part of the brain, um,
they flipped the lid right, when they go from zero
to sixty and they go irrational, and there's you as parents.
We get so frustrated and the instinct is to go.
If you don't stop that, I'm not gonna give you this.
(17:43):
Pick them up, and exactly I'm giving in. So it's
teaching you that once they flipped the lid right and
they get to it's almost like and it's interesting, what
how do you say, amigdalagdala? I have to find out
more because I'm very confused. I thought they make love
was something that you have right here, uh, the back
of your throat, and if it gives you problems, you
(18:04):
take it out to Oh oh my guys. The entire
time I was reading the bow. What happens if you
take the big allow that you have no nowhere to
control anything? Is the TONSI normal? We call it amigallas?
(18:25):
Oh my god, townsils are amigallas. No, oh my god,
what guys, Sorry, I had a little the tonsils amygdala's
for tonsils are amigos. Anyway, So they talk about how
the amygdala is this little thing we have that controls
(18:45):
pretty much everywhere. Oh it is, its exactly. So I
don't know if those but I must I am right. Actually,
I'm not stupid anyways, I think, but I don't know
if the amigdeala they're talking about. It's just is the
tonsils santas are two, right, there's two. Yeah, this one
is just like an amygdala. Anyways, when they when the
(19:05):
magdala takes over, the little brain goes hey wire, and
you have to be you need to be able to
control them and bring them back. The way to bring
them back is through being rational. Um. So here's the
amigdala in the brain. This is where it's looking for
that that thing. So that amigdella in the brain you'rens
and Spanish, it is probably pronounced different the way we're
(19:27):
saying it, but there it is in the brain. Okay.
So that little thing that looks like little thingy right,
that little little thing it actually does look like a
little thing. A little thing is a very important little
thing in your body because it controls a lot of things.
So when when that gets completely out of whacked, Um,
you need to rationalize with your kid um, and to
give you to give you a very simple example. UM,
(19:49):
where at the sushi restaurant, right, because you love to
eat sushi and bacteria. So when we're the restaurant, UM,
let's say Dylan wants to eat uh one thing like
the ten things and you're like, that's too much, you
only have to eat one. And then he walks away
and he just throws a tantroom. Everybody's looking. So instead
of going over and say you just stop right now,
(20:09):
you start right now. I'm gonna leave right. Don't approach
it that way because you're feeding the beast. It's basically
approach it all the time and you're like, here's the phone.
Stop anyway. What you're saying, you need to be able
to control that brain right and just level with them
and not don't lose your cool. Doesn't mean that it's
(20:30):
going to work all the time, but it's the way
of teaching your kid to be able to let go
of the right side, allow the left side to come
in and balance everything. So you go, let me finish.
So you go, what what do you feel, sweety? I
want to eat ten and and not and not one? Okay,
so why do I understand you're you're feeling upset. I
get it, and it's valid, But why don't you start
to negotiate. Let's go back to daddy and say, Daddy,
(20:52):
I want to eat more than one, maybe not ten,
but can we find maybe a number? And you need
to get them out of the phone by speaking, get
their attention on some thing, to distract them into something else.
Distracted into something else, and then you talk to them
and you're going to see not a nine percent of
the time when you start lifting the lid. By talking
and giving them a choice and having them participate in
(21:14):
the whole trauma, right, it's a perfect way for them
to control themselves. I love all these new ways of
parenting and like what the books say because I'm all
about trying them and rationalizing and talking and doing things
in a different way than the way we were probably
you know, brought up, but I do. And when I
was a kid, I did not like this, But now
as an adult, I do appreciate how when I would
(21:34):
act up at a restaurant as a kid, my mom
would just look at me and I was like, because
it doesn't exist. I don't get that doesn't exist anymore.
My dad's gonna come down hard. Look at dayline with
a look and they're like, what I know, but I
missed you know, I mean you Oh my gosh. It
was so much easier when I was a kid. I
guess I just knew I needed to shut up. Not anymore. No,
(21:58):
now they challenge you there. Why you're different is was
like different, their wire different. We've Yeah, we're allowing them
to find their own identity and their strengths and try
and rationalize with them and talk to them and make
them little people. Another thing that is super important, guys,
is to nurture their memory. I know. It's like it
explains that the way their brain works, it's memories, like
you have to you have to exercise the muscle. Is like,
(22:18):
you need to constantly challenge them to think about stories.
That's why this thing that I'm playing with Tabella, I
started doing it over the phone in Mexico is saying
go to your kid that is like seven eight night
ten right, um that they tend to get lazy and
and just challenge their mind and do a game every
single day and you just go, you know, tell me
two things that happened at school and one that you're
making up and I have to guess which one is true,
(22:40):
which which one are the two that are real and
the one that you just made up. And it's a
way of having them have like a recollection of their day,
recollection of the day, so they it forces them to
think about things that happened and then use their imagination
and coming up with a completely random story. It was clever.
I actually I played last night for the first time.
It was fine, and it gets it gets them talking
(23:00):
because you know, most time kids come home, there's like,
what you do today? Was it fun? It was good?
I do nothing. I blame kickball. That's all I did.
And they don't tell you about anything they did the
entire day, and you're like, that's all you did. But
this is a good way of getting them to share.
And it made it fun. Yeah, it's fun. And then
something else. Guys, when you got you, I feel like
a throp. It's now my personally, this is like you
we've traded places. I hope I'm doing it justice. So
(23:22):
I apologize to the author's if I'm just changing things.
But this was my interpretation what I took from it. Um,
that is great, and I you know, it's even worse
for adults. A way of helping get rid of a
traumatic experience or um, a trauma like me crouse, claustrophobia
or something is that you need to talk about it
(23:44):
in the way of you need to go back and
you need to force your mind to go back and
retell the story over and over and over, write about it,
drew it. So let's say, so can we do that
with you? Because I am tired of always you. I
don't remember an incident though, I don't remember trying to
the ruin of your problem. I don't know where is
it coming from. That's problem. Taking the elevator up to
record the podcast not what I took it. I was
(24:06):
very proud. And then of course you picked the wrong
freaking floor, so we went to the wrong and we
got locked, and I'm going, Jesus, now, this is my
worst nightmare. But anyways, um, yeah, so that's so yeah.
The whole brain child, the problem that we're gonna have
is that because I read it and you didn't, when
I try to discipline my kids, no, I'm all for it.
I like, what are you doing you? I'm like, according
to the book, so you have to find good I'm
(24:28):
actually good with that. All right on that. Let's take
a break and we're gonna come back and talk about
marriage story Netflix. I'm gonna tell you something about our marriage.
Guy listening, okay? That meaning okay? I guess what was
(24:57):
what was waiting on top of the kitchen. I didn't
buy it for me. He bought it for him. You're
about to leave something out. You came back and there
were flowers. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about
he got the vitamin. I remember that. He was talking
about getting me a vitam mix for Christmas, but I
(25:20):
ended up getting your shoes for your anniversary because the
vitamins got a lot of heat. But he got it. Anyways, guys,
and you know what, and he made me a juice
of vegetable juice this morning, and I love it so
thank you for you love it right, I'm telling you
everyone out there, and it makes you sponsor the show.
Everyone out if you don't have changed my life, this
is It's an entire salad pulverized into a juice. Literally
(25:44):
there's no pulp. So he got to guys and Vita Max.
I'm gonna take a picture of it and show everybody,
just so they laugh. Anyways, they're gonna laugh. You should laugh.
But the fact that you didn't even notice. I put
the flowers on the it for you to come home,
and it's an happy anniversary, welcome home. And then there
was a jar of vapor troupe right next to it. No,
(26:05):
I didn't notice that. Are you joking? That is funny. Oh,
I'm going to take a picture. That's what I didn't
notice that. Oh my god, my mom knows it. This
morning she said, look at my arm gross? Why wait?
Am I sweating? Why even bring that up? I don't know.
I just would like this and going, oh I feel
goody and feel like, oh God, sometimes censor yourself. I'm
(26:26):
not talking about talking about my armpits. God, I never sweat.
That's funny. Anyways, you know that I'm a non sweater.
Clearly not. I know, clearly not today. Um, Eric marriage story,
what about it? It's it's our marriage story. It's a
movie on the Netflix one, yes, Caroli Johansson and Adam Driver.
(26:49):
I saw it in Mexico. It was freaking amazing. You
need to what I need to see it. But I
have a feeling it's about marriage falling apart. It is
about a marriage folding apart? You know about what the
clever thing and the way it's so beautifully written is
because it's marriage falling apart. It falls apart, but the
love is there, there is. It was so well written
and well acted. And as a married person with a kid,
(27:13):
you know when once you have children, everything changes in
the marriage, you know, and when things go bad and
if you're a good parent and if you're a good person,
it's all about how can we keep this mind mind intact,
the health by the mental health of the of the kid.
And they try so hard and you root for them
to stay together, but they don't and and how you
ruin the whole thing? Sorry, oh my god, what you mean? Now?
(27:37):
You need to watch it anyways? You need to watch
it anyway. Why they break up? No, no, no, because
it's not about that. It's about the journey. Forget about
the outcome. It's about the journey and how they go
through it. And this is what's crazy. This was crazy
so and I'm sure it happens to a lot of couples.
You love somebody, somebody dearly. If you get into a
funk in the marriage, you want to separate, right and
you have the best intentions to make it as clean
(27:58):
and as simple as possible, because there's love and there's respect,
but because of outside circumstances and people influencing you and misunderstandings,
things start getting uglier and uglier. And it's it's like
out of their control and it's happening right in front
of their eyes and they can't recognize it. So they
go from let's do this very amicable to its war.
(28:19):
And the way it's written is so seamless, and it
broke my heart because I'm married and I'm going, this
is what happens when when when you lose your north
you know what I mean, and and and there's children involved,
and you have lawyers telling you this and and pulling
you in all different places. And then of course there
was one infidelity. And you know a woman will love
you and respect you. But if you do that, honey,
(28:39):
you'll take you to the cleaners. That's what happens with girls.
It does about you're a wonderful person and a wonderful woman,
and you respect this man. If there's a third person involved,
you'll lose your You always say, like the woman, because
I'm talking about marriage story, and it was there are time. Listen, ladies,
(28:59):
if you have the affair, the dude is going to
lose his mind. You always you always point the finger
at the guy because the majority of the time it
is like the one that does. Okay, I guys can't.
I mean, I don't know. Maybe maybe it's which is
what I'm talking about. Another big story point you just
(29:23):
gave away. Yeah, so guys, don't watch Unbelievable. You're telling everything.
It's about the journey. You have to see it anyways.
You have to see it in a ways. It is
beautifully written. Acted I think these people are gonna win
all kinds of awards. Um, if you're married, I don't
think you don't know. Your parents are super amicable. No,
they're amazing. I said, I don't think you would ever
(29:44):
be applicable for depending depends on what you do. Think.
If anybody take the trash out, he'd be like, kid, Yeah,
I'm taking here to the clean as because there's trash.
It's been sitting here in the little room. I might,
I might know when it's to you. I don't want
but I got your shoes to the anniversary. No, no,
(30:07):
I want to do that. And I always tell you
you do you do that, you know, you know the outcome,
but we don't even have to know if you do
if you misbehavior, I'm talking about that. I'm just talking
about an amical I'm talking about divorce. You mean amicable.
You could work the divorce. Do you think you would
be amicable? Depending on the circumstances. My my plan would
(30:28):
be to be amicable because of Dylan, because part see,
no kids involved. I could be totally amicable. Kids involved,
then that's that's why you should be. No. I mean,
I would do my best for the kids. But it is, uh,
that is the hardest part hard And I'm product of divorced.
My parents were great at it. And I mean I
used to live a month with my dad and a
(30:51):
month with my mom. I would move my my entire existence.
I would move every single month till I was sixteen.
That's crazy. I mean everything, my pets, my clothe I
mean everything would move from house to house every single month.
The good thing about that was I got, you know,
an equal experience with each parent. The hard part I
can imagine for them is you don't I would see
(31:13):
them at functions and things like that or like a weekend,
but you don't see that parent for a month at
a time. Ye, your your parents did something really outstanding,
which was, um, I don't know exactly what went down.
I don't think you you even know what went down
for them to get a divorce when you were eight
years old. But they stayed. They kept it very civil,
and they stayed friends, so super close friends, and they're
(31:33):
super close friends. And Eric never experienced a dad bad
mouthing the mom or a mom bad mouthing the dad.
You know, he had nothing but respect for his parents.
And I think that shape that shaped you, you know,
which is incredible. And most of the time when there's
a divorce involved, um, it's so bitter and it's just
such time in your life that that the the tendency
is for the other pattern to be like yeah, mom
(31:53):
and your dad, you know, and all the kid does
is it's here negative things about the other person, and
it's very damaging. So you to the point that Gwen,
that's his mom. She did the wedding cake because your
father maybe like four times, Yes, she said a couple
of wedding cakes his father. Whyne is like rico, son't
(32:13):
I know? She doesn't want a gains whatever. Freaking she'll
keep making a cake. Should be like, just keep him
with you, exactly, keep it with I. I ain't gonna
be making any wedding cake for you. What if it's cordial?
Could you you think you'd ever get to the place
like even your your brother and your sister in law,
they're you're you have been divorced and uh they're married.
(32:36):
Now I'm sorry, but your sister in law has been
divorced and they're close friends with her, have dinner and
his wife and sister in Lowland. But she was previously
married and she has a daughter, Paulina from a first marriage.
And yes, you know what, my that is an incredible
example of like doing it right. The family all be
married and they're all they're very close friends and it's
(32:56):
a beautiful thing. Could you do that with me? What
being a family dinner with me and my new lady
depending on the new don't talk like we've know anyway,
So guys, be careful parasites. Um um. Next year Puerto
(33:17):
Rico is winning the Miss Universe. Do you think that
Adam Driver or Scarlett Johannason will win an Oscar for this? Um?
You know what? I have to see the competent. I
know there's a lot of great performances, but I think
that if they do um, they deserve it. I think
they did incredible, both of them. And you listen. There's
(33:39):
an actress that plays her sister that has a not
a lot of scenes, and she is she basically stole
the scenes. It was fantastic. Everybody saw. I know. I
think she was nominated for gold. Laura Dern No, no, no,
Laura Dern plays her lawyer. Yeah, she's nominated. I think so. Anyway,
(33:59):
so I highly recommend it, especially if you want to
learn about relationships and and and human nature. I guess
you know what I mean, and how to don't listen
to us, don't listen to us, watch it, watch the movie.
I have lit. Know, let's take a little breaking because
when when we come back, I have a little game
that I want to play with you. M okay, okay,
(34:31):
we are back, and I have three quick questions for you. Okay,
feels like dangerous. Question Number one, why do you think
we met? Why do I think we met? Huh, that's
a good question. I Uh. I do believe sort of
(34:56):
in you know, fate and things lining up, and I
think there was a purpose. And I think, I actually
think a big part of the reason we met is
that we we are two people that definitely bring out
different sides in each other and better aspects of each
other in our in our spiritual, in our life growth.
(35:19):
And I think, not to get like crazy heavy, but
I think, because we're so different, how do we never
have met? We would not have been able to tap
into the things in our lives and our personality that
we have been able to now because we're so different.
If I had met somebody who was more similar this
and that, I may not have found these other aspects
and drives and things in my life that I think
(35:42):
it made me a better person. So I think it was.
It was. It was fate. Very pretty okay. Second question,
why do you think we met? I'm asking you, know, no,
I'm asking you. Let me finish my three questions. Um,
what's the hardest part about dating you? The hardest part
(36:04):
about dating me? Well, I think I'm pretty easy. Oh
my god. Um. I did dat a girl once though,
and it didn't work because it was me and I
didn't realize. I didn't realize this until I saw an
episode of Seinfeld. This is a true story. As in
college is dating a girl. It seems like checked all
(36:26):
the boxes. I'm like, why am I just not into
this girl? Same birthday, everything, And I'm like, this is
just not right. And then all of a sudden, I
watched the Seinfeld episode and he was dating Jeane Garoffalo
and the whole episode was about Seinfeld dating someone who
was just like himself, and I was like, that's the problem,
and I broke up with her the next week. I
was like, I'm dating myself. Well, let me ask you
something that and this is this is funny that we
(36:48):
I was in Mexico, right and I found this restaurant
that I love called Leda and I either every single time,
and there was a waiter Mexican, um guy, super super
cool that we got to talk a lot, and he
was telling me, I mean, he's recovered holiday and he's
only twenty nine years old and he's been through a
lot and now he's doing great. Blah blah blah. Anyways,
like I have a question for you as a man.
(37:09):
He was telling me that he met this girl from
Canada that went to say your Leader on vacation, like
like for three months she was there and she was
like the most beautiful thing. She is that he has
ever seen, the coolest girl. She was. I was enover
right and couldn't have sex with her. But I mean
like he couldn't get in an erection, he said, I
it was the weirdest thing. I was like, she was
(37:31):
so great he couldn't have Actually, he said I couldn't.
I wasn't. I I thought this is the girl that
I'm gonna marry because I this girl is my dream woman.
And they couldn't have any intimacy. He was that he couldn't.
He didn't explain to you why they could see this.
I wish I was talking about the dude, I like,
how does that happen? Is that possible that you fancied
somebody a lot as a man and you just can't
get it up well? And I think you can have
(37:53):
said maybe he just wasn't. I don't know what his
problem was. Maybe he just wasn't into it. Um, but
he said she was can yeah, but you can be
let me look, you can be physically attracted and just
sort of have a one off with somebody in a sense,
but not be into repeating that all the time, because
it's like the intimacy doesn't line up like, there's no
I don't understand that. I don't know all the details.
(38:17):
That's possible. Smells where all right? What was my question again? Anyway?
What was my question was what? Yeah, you didn't even
ask my question. My question what is what are we
talking about some gross smells that the guy doesn't want
to sleep with? It was what is the hardest part
about dating you? I'm probably like, I'm type A and
(38:41):
I like to and I do have I don't call
it controlling, but I have my ways of doing things,
and I yeah, I've had to learn very controlling, very controlling.
This has been the topic of conversations. Answer my question.
Because you think everything is controlling, you think things controlling,
make sure you do this. You're controlling me. I just
(39:03):
asked you to take the kid to school. You're controlling me.
I don't have time. It's like, do you think everything
is controlling? You think everything is controlled? That one of
my peeves. I cannot but some things can be controlling,
some things are nothing, But you interpret everything is controlling.
All right? Anyways, I guess I thinks I'm so type
A and I am setting my ways and a lot
(39:24):
and a lot of respects. Uh, that can be the
most challenging part. But I am I am a person
who likes to evolve, and I can I can mold,
and I can work, and I believe in compromise. So
I don't think it's that bad. Next question, what are
your What are you most grateful for in this current moment?
My family? When you say family, you mean your kids,
(39:45):
my wife, my kids, the whole, the whole caboodle, the
whole thing. You know, it's I think that's one of
the hardest things to accomplish. And I think, you know,
career and all these things are great, but I always
go back to me and the said the Mr Mom
episodees not nonsense. You know, I love being a dad
and I love being married and having a family, and
(40:06):
I think that's at the core what sort of defines me. Okay,
it looks so unconvinced by that. That's really weird. I guys,
see your face. Okay, no, no, no, no, I just
want to wrap it up. And I believe everything you said,
and I think and I had a feeling that yeah, familia,
familia is everything to you. And I know that in
my heart that familia is everything to you. Um so
(40:28):
what I feel like I need to ask you some questions. No, no,
next time. So what did we learn today? We learned
that Puerto Ricans are beautiful with what Okay, Russia driver
my my new bff. He is mad. I'm sorry that
was not directed to you if you ever hear this,
(40:49):
And we have five verses okay mr Mr Rudy, Mr
Rudy Giuliani, um, and then okay, so Puerto Ricans are beautiful.
Then we learned that need to go and get the
whole bank, get the whole bridge. Child, you need to
go see marriage story. And next time, you know, we
take your anti medication marks. I think it's called take
(41:12):
your antiparasitic medication. And then you know, I have some
people on Instagram they have actually asked questions that they
want us to answer, a topics that they wanted to
talk about. So we promise we're going to do a
list of all those questions or topics and there's gonna
be a podcast dedicated to all your questions and topics.
So we really do want to hear from you. We
want to hear about your comments, we want to ask
(41:32):
your answer your questions, and we want to talk about
what you want to hear, so please you can email
us your topics at Eric and Roz at I heart
radio dot com, follow us at he said a DHO
podcast on Instagram. Let us know what you want to hear.
We'll talk about it. I love you, I love you.
Subscribe to he said a VHO on iHeart Radio, Apple
(41:55):
podcast or anywhere you get your podcasts
Host
Roselyn Sanchez
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