July 10, 2023 • 27 mins
Ros and Eric expose their own faults as a couple. Are they really annoying parents? Hear some of the things they do and judge for yourself.
Plus, the parenting apple may not fall far from the tree as Ros explains why she believes her own mom may be responsible for her brother’s divorce.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is he said ayah with Eric Winter and Rodland Fanta.
Hello swim today. We're always in good terms. What are
you talking about? Why are we happy today? I just
kidd has something changed?
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Everything's good. We had a date night that's just changed,
our first a long time and one of our favorite
new restaurants.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Yes, it was good. It was nice.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Door a great restaurant becoming visiting Los Angeles. Skirts I've
ever had in my entire life. Japanese milk bread.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Yeah, bread is incredible.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
I think makes you fall in love like Japanese milk
bread and I know skirts.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Day anyway, So what do we have? No guests?
Speaker 2 (00:50):
One episode is actually a bunch of listener questions.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Oh god, I have a look at them. Oh Jesus, okay, interesting,
So you to start let's see I have them right here?
Should you an a Should you.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Encourage a friend who wants to divorce their spouse for
being irresponsible with money?
Speaker 1 (01:11):
You know, we're expected to be supportive when our friends
make major life decisions, including marriage, having children, and getting divorced.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
But I don't know if you should be.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
But is it right to support your friend who is
contemplating divorce when you know the harm it will cause
their children.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Well, I think it's always you always have to be
there to support a friend going through anything. But I
don't know that I would encourage or push someone in
any sort of direction. I don't know unless they're in
something really toxic. What is then I could see you,
you know, encouraging.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Yeah, well what if the other person is just absolutely irresponsible, unconscious,
just terrible with money to the point that it affects
your I mean, the life of your friend and the
kids because the guys so or the girl is so
responsible that it's just so.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
It depends on how irresponsible with money we're talking, right,
Like you said, if they're running like the family, like
their credit into the ground and they have a gambling problem, yeah,
if it's like super toxic and they're going to be
homeless and broken, they're they're like I said, they're running
the family into the ground, then yes, if I think
if it's that extreme, yeah, I think you should encourage
(02:17):
your friend to open their eyes and pay attention.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
And even with kids involved, I think you have to think.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
I listen. I think it'd be a supportive friend. I
just don't like the idea of encouraging or pushing a
friend in a direction, because what if they resent you
for it? You know what I mean, Like divorce is
a big deal. You need to kind of make that
decision on your own. So I think being supportive and
being an ear and giving advice but not deciding.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
So you would say, okay, let's sit down and let's
write down things on a piece of paper, and let's
use it as a balance. There's other pros, there's other cons,
and you're trying to kind of like influence them, but
in a way that it doesn't look like you are
pushing anything.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
I don't think you should influence and anybody with a
decision like that from your own biased unless it's super
incredibly toxic and they are blind and it's that detrimental
to the family. But then that's do you agree that notification?
I mean, somebody has home. I don't know, not right now.
(03:20):
So what would you do?
Speaker 1 (03:23):
I don't know what I would do if I have
a friend that says, listen, I am suffering, my family's suffering.
My husband didn't give me in the scenario suffering, he's irresponsible.
That we're in this financial burden, is like we're going
to lose our house, just because the guy is completely
crazy with his money. I don't know. I don't know into.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
That scenario, but I didn't have in making my decision. Yeah,
if they're going to lose their house and it's toxic
and they're running the family to the ground, then yeah,
you have to like open your eyes and get out
and get out. This is bad. If it's that bad.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
The problem is, you know, some people might say, I'm
going to advise my friend to keep the family together
at all costs.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Yeah, I mean there's that scenario. It just depends on
how listen. You don't want homeless kids because they lost
their house. I mean, that's the kind of thing.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
You know what they always tell you. I don't know
if your parents taught you that when it comes to relationships,
don't ever get involved because at the end of the day,
somebody might decide I'm going to leave the person, thank
you for your for your advice, and then a year
from from that moment they get back together. You're the
la guy.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
You're the bad guy. Now here's the other scenario, Right,
if you're friends with this other person, right, like let's
say it's a close couple friend, then maybe the scenario
is sit You try to arrange sitting down with everybody,
and you're carrying friend to both and you're just like, hey, look,
you know she's you try to help if you can.
But if they ask for help, Well, if she's asking
for help and he's not, but I like, or vice versa,
(04:52):
he's asking for help and she's not. But you say, hey,
I you know I care about you. Guys, so and
so is asking for help. You're you know, there's this
going on. Maybe you're not seeing it, but help do you, guys?
Save the marriage?
Speaker 1 (05:03):
What about not getting involved at all?
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Depends how close there are, do you.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Yeah, it's tricky, guys. I don't know if we answer
your question, but it's a tricky question.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
All right, Next question.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
What do we do about in thows who mean well
but give unsolicited advice? For example, don't buy that brand
of soap because it's toxic, don't buy certain sheets because
they're bad for the environment.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
Well, that would be us basically. Then if we're in
Los to Sabby and Dylan, we'd be those annoying people.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
I'm going to be so bad.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
We would be exactly that, because it's toxic.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
We drive our nanny and we drive your mom married,
because we're always like, they can have this, they can
have that.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Here's the thing we've just become. And maybe it's too much,
it's hard, but we really we are gaining a lot
of education about products and foods that we didn't have
when we were growing up. And we know that we
ate and did you know we're involved with a lot
of toxic things. And I think that's why you're seeing
so many brands shift because they're also acknowledging it. So
(06:02):
we're just trying to be as health conscious as we
can for our children.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
I'm going to give it an example like me growing
up because my father owned meat processing they called a
meat process in factory, and he had his own brand
of hamburgers. They were called Taino Hamburgers. They were very,
very big in Puerto Ricos. So I grew up a
lot of times for breakfast, my breakfast at six thirty
in the morning before going to school was a hamburger.
(06:27):
Just so you know, that's what breakfast, lunch, and dinner hammergers.
A lot of hamburgers. And not only that, it's to
the point that I have an ingrama about it, like
how many times do you see me eating I don't
eat hamburgers. I ate so much hamburgers in my life
that I will puke just thinking about eating a hamburger.
But that was my diet. Then the school had a cafeteria, right,
so my mom never made lunches for me. You eat
(06:49):
at the cafeteria at school. So my from seventh grade
all the way to senior year, right when I graduated
at eighteen years old, my lunch was a bania the pizza,
which is a pizza pastry. Imagine like a fried dough
with pizza, pizza and cheese inside. Then I will have
an icy you say that icy, a slurpy coke slurpy,
(07:13):
and a.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Beach super toxic, and a bee. Wow.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
That's what I ate every single day. And listen, my
mom didn't know that I was actually poisoning myself.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
You're okay, and look, we don't want.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
To be okay and all kinds of things.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
You don't want to be radical because I understand it's not.
Well you have, but no, you don't have to be radical.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
You are radical, it's not you're so radical when it
comes to everything with.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
I don't impose my beliefs no on our family. Yes,
I'm saying I don't impose I always tell you this,
I don't impose our beliefs on other people. Like to
each his own. I think, I always believe you know
you you're you're the dumbest person in the in the room,
if you're if you believe you know everything. So I
think learning and sharing that education with people, if they
(08:00):
can hear it, great, they want to make changes. Great,
we don't have to.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Don't say anything. But every time there is like a
school gathering or dealing has a playdate, right, or there's
a game and then at the end of the game,
a parent is responsible for bringing the snacks. And every
time we see freaking unhealthy typical stuff that people we
don't tell them anything, but they were like freaking Millie.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
I don't know when it comes to us. Listen, there's
been times at the end of a game and right
before dinner someone brings like a dozen donuts for the kids.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
I'm like, why five o'clock don't out any time that happens.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
But like the misnomer, people think that certain electrolyte drinks
and things are healthy and they're just loaded with sugar.
So I don't know, but listen, it's just what we
do with our kids. I don't care what other people
do with their kids. Somebody asked me why I would say,
this is why. This is why.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
I know, but trying to help. But this was funny.
So Dealing is about to do his first summer camp.
It's called Sports and Games, and the school, which Isabella School,
a great school. They are going to provide popsic.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
No, it's not just public. Every day they provide an
otter pop at the end of it. It's a type
of popsicle, very good popsicle the problem. I mean, very good,
like I grew up eating them all the time.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
I love them.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
The reason they're so good is they are loaded with
high fructose.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
So that's awful, I know.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
But so it's simple that the coach knows that I'm
very anal about this, and I email them and I said, listen,
I'm more than happy to just buy some I don't know,
good pops or other popsicles.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
We're we're providing healthy popsicles for this summer camp, just
so Dylan cannot have this horrible poisoned high cand you
say it high. But this was funny. How we're crazy,
like we are the parents basically controlling the school saying no, no, no, no.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Everybody else is having what they want. It's just you're
ringing no no, they.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Just bring Last year for Sabella, there was a summer
camp that you actually provided the popsicles.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
They actually agree you're making all kinds of stuff. They
agreed to them for her. But when they were passing out,
they passed they know what's funny. You want to know
what's funny. When they were passing out those auto pops
to all the kids, Sabella got a good pop and
other kids were like, I want a good pop. Other
kids actually wanted that instead of the autopop because to
some people, the auto pup is too sweet because it's
(10:18):
got so much.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
So we're doing something good for society.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
We're a little nuts. Sorry, people can make fun of us.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
They're gonna make fun of So we got way off topic.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
By the way, should this be about in laws giving
solid advice? We went way off topic.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
I think the door what happened.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
I think it's you know, I think it's tough. I
think in laws listen, it comes natural right. They raised us.
They feel like they can do just as good a
job with our kids, and like it depends on how
involved the in laws are with the family and the kids.
Like in our case, my mom is like our right hand.
She's involved in everything, so her opinion matters to us.
We listen to her, you know what I mean, Like
(10:53):
it's an important but she's like another mom, another grandma.
I mean, she's a grandma, but she's like our nanny
and Delmi are very involved.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Your mom doesn't really try to she basically she doesn't
give you unsolicited advice unless she thinks of something like
like like the kind of like the question was meant
to be answered a specific way because there's there's a
lot of in laws that you're like, oh my god,
I can't start my in laws. Put it this way,
we don't have that problem with your mom because she
is like part of the family, and she's really really
(11:21):
smart when it comes to let me just not say
anything over here, let me provide my input over here.
But she's very smart.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
I said, when you travel, she's there all the time, right,
So it's like she's like another woman. Figure that.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
And she's also fantastic at following are the way we
do things. You know, she doesn't fight hers. She's like
she might not agree, but she's like, you know what,
let me just do this. That's what they do, so
it is what it is. You, on the other hand,
are very lucky that you didn't have Olga my mom.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
The good thing is she would give a bunch of
in Spanish.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Understand thousands of miles away, so you don't really have
to deal with the unsolicited no, no, how you say that,
the wrath of Rodriguez sanche. She'll be judgmental and opinionated
about every.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Single she do it in Spanish to you, so I
wouldn't understand any of it, and then you would just
have to navigate it.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
I will have to navigate it. But my mom doesn't
have to say anything. My mom would just just look
at you, and you know that she doesn't agree or
things you're ridiculous.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Remember the time your mom made starfruit juice and you're like,
oh my god, I came to Puerto Rico for one
of the first times and she was like, oh, my
mom's gonna make starfruit juice fresh from the tree. This
is my favorite juice she makes. And I'm like, I'm
thinking to myself, starfruit I love like organic guys.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
It's from the tree from our backyard. Was amazing.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
I love starfruit, but there's no sweetness in starfruit. It's
just a fun She makes it amazing. And then she
gets this juice starfruit. She blends it all up, makes
this starfruit and then just I mean takes a box
of sugar and just not measures it. Poured a box
of sugar.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
It was like you, I say you.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Half the box was gone, and I was like, what's happening.
Oh my gosh, no wonder.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Mommy. And she's like, okay, okay, that's way too much sugar.
I was.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
I knew. I remember my eyes just bulging, going, oh
my god, the wonder this tastes good. What is the
best way to react when your close family members allow
(13:37):
their children to behave poorly in your life?
Speaker 1 (13:41):
When you close from the members allow their children to
behave poorly, don't I don't have that, have that because
my my niece and nephews they are much older, so
they're just like adults, so they don't do that.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
But you can play that same question on like friends
coming over the play You could play it.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
On the I'm very stern, so to the point that
I have talked to their moms, who are good friends,
and I say listen, I apologize if you think I'm
a little bit too strong. We just don't do this
at this house. And I tell the kids in front
of the moms, I don't hit, or don't do that,
or I don't like it, or get down. I'm very
I'm very serious when it comes to yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
You're you're a little bit all over them on playdates,
and so is you know, doubt me is very on.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Top of it, and I just don't like when they
get aggressive.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Most of our friends, the kids friends, in this sense,
obviously we're talking about relatives because they're all older, but
the kid's friends are all very similar to our kids,
you know. I mean that's time we've bonded with families
that sort of have similar values and so forth and
so on. So it's a little easy. But if we
do see a kid come over on a play date
and it's just like a terror, then usually you you
step in our nanny steps.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
And it's interesting because you know, our Nanni was telling
me this story this morning that she was at the
park with Dylan and it's two of the friends, and
there was another kid not part of the group, like
another kid also at the park, younger, maybe three and
a half four, and the mom was with him, and
the kid was just a little bit of a terror, right,
that drives me crazy, what a p and the parent
was the mom was not doing anything. And then he
(15:03):
basically put sand all over Delmi, del Mi's, our nanny's lunch, everywhere,
the mom that needs anything. He took his pants down
and pete all over the sand, the grass where the
kids were playing fully peeed, and the mom just looked
away like like nothing was happening.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
Then he another kid he grabbed like a woodstick, like
a piece of like a branch, and went like this
to the face and mine Nanni had to not knowing
the other kid went to the nanny said you have
some arnica. Let me just give you some arnica because
that's gonna leave a mark. And then he grabbed two
I don't know what it was too plastics. He grabbed
two plastics and was going to Dylan to go like
(15:40):
this to his face, to his head, and Dila and
Delmi jumped and got in front of him and said,
do not do that. Don't you there do that? And
you don't you You're not gonna play with these kids anymore.
Get the heck out. I was very rude to the kid,
and the mom like freaked out and looked at her,
and then the kid was like super shocked, right, and
(16:00):
then just walked away and they moved to a different
area back.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
That's what took it. That's what took for the mom
still didn't do.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
That anything, and then nanny was like, nanny, Nanny tell me,
was saying, like telling the other nannies that were there
with Sabby and sorry Dylan's friends saying, I know I
was too stern as a kid, but he was going
to hurt Dylan and if them, Yeah, the mom is
not going to say anything. There's no way that I
was going to allow for that plastic to touch him.
(16:28):
So I had to do that, but she was expecting
the month to say, like, what the heck are you
talking about?
Speaker 2 (16:32):
And at some point by the second incident or third okay,
soon as you started peeing in the sand where the
kids are playing, or smacked the kid in the face
with the stick, I would have walked over to the mom.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
And said, you remember when I was in Canada, you
were you were shooting in Canada, which is of his
endo out some kid, and there was I was with
Sabella at the park and this spinning thing, it has
been a little bit of a handful, and he he
was taking over this spinning thing that Isabella liked and
would not let anybody use it and Sabella we were
waiting five minutes, ten minutes, and then Sabella went to
(17:01):
do something and he kind of like pushed her and
I lost my bananas. But the kid wanted to hit me.
Remember that, he was like about to hit me, and
I'm like, do it, do it.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
She's challenging.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
It's like, oh my god, these parents are gonna send
me to jail because I was about on kick his ass.
But I don't like kids that are defying sb Eric.
You know, I love I love children, and I have
the best time and you know how I am with kids.
I love playing with kids. But when there's antill they
cross you until they cross you know. But when you
have those children that are.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
Just like defiant, well here's the problem. I just think
toerate that the parents just parent, that's all. I'm not
saying you have to be a helicopter parent, but parent.
If your kid is walking out of the park, smacking
kids with a stick, hitting kids with plastic bags or whatever,
smacking them in their face, peeing in the sand, throwing
sand on somebody's lunch. Parent.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
But you have to rea, I know, but you have
to be careful because a lot of times if you
get involved, even if you're thinking you're doing the right thing,
you don't know how the other parent.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Is going to lunch or all over the in front
of my kid. I'm gonna say something, all right, next time?
Speaker 1 (18:03):
It has to be careful. What about a cool, cool
parent comes over and causes a problem.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
I don't know. I'm at a loss right now. I
can't believe that actually happened. All right, next question, My
best friend is a hard working mother of too keeps
her home dirty and messy. Should I say something or
stay out of it? You gotta stay out?
Speaker 1 (18:18):
Well, my investment is a hardworking mother of too who
keeps her home dirty and messy. Oh my god, Well
I can't.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
Guys, don't you gotta stay out of it? Is that
your problem?
Speaker 1 (18:28):
There is always dirty dishes in the sink?
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Is it? Is it?
Speaker 1 (18:31):
My place? Would tell her this is an awful environment
for the kids. Or should it just mind my own business?
Speaker 2 (18:35):
Mind your own business?
Speaker 1 (18:39):
How are you not going to mind?
Speaker 2 (18:41):
What if your kids go to the house for play dates,
don't don't send them on playates, or if they do,
just make sure that they're not playing in the in crap.
I don't know. I think you have stay out of it.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
Now.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
If you go to the house and like they're hoarders
or something, there's nowhere to walk around, then maybe it's
a little bit unsanitary and you don't want to have
your kids playing there. But I don't think you say anything.
That's not your problem. Why are you looking at me
like you can't help yourself? How what like you feel
like you have to say something.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
No, only if it affects my my my life or
my children.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Yeah, but how does it affect your children?
Speaker 1 (19:13):
You could do her kid is my kid's best friend
on my and they have sleepovers on sleepovers.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
In the house is like if they're like, let's just
say it's what.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
They're really really good people and they're phenomenal and they
love Sabelle or Dylan and they're really really good.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
Bad we're talking in this house.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
Is like hoarders.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
If it's like hoarders or like dog crap all over
the place or animal feces everywhere, because they're not clean
coming on. I don't know how if it's that bad,
If there's just some dirty dishes in the sink, I'm
not gonna stop my friends from going with my kids anyway. Yeah,
bother you, but I'm not going to stop the kids
from playing over there.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
But you're anal. You're out of control.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
You don't like a single thing. Even Dylan in them
are just like they play and you're like, put that
away place, and they just started playing in the living
room like you just you freak out.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
That's why I need space.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
No, it doesn't matter you freak out.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Clutter in front.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
You're gonna see clutter regardless, because the kids want to
be around us. So if there's gonna be stuff out,
you're just like, ah, you won't even let them leave
a puzzle out.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
No, but why I'm doing better. Sometimes I leave it
up for a couple of days and then I'm gonna
get hours. Gotta go. I don't know what it is,
am I OCD OCD. Like, guys, I'm walking, I'm walking
through the living room and if I see a cushion
that is slightly tilted that I have to go fix it.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
I'm like a problem that is OCD really, But there's
some people actually get puzzles out and enjoy doing puzzles
over and they're out on the table in the living room.
You have your own room designated for puzzles. What have
your own like puzzle room? Why can't you just have it?
Speaker 1 (20:46):
If it's a puzzle room there they don't have a
puzzle room. Puzzle with Z right, puzzle.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
No.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
If you have a puzzle, put on the table out
if you if you live by yourself, yes, you gotta.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Chill out a little bit. Maybe I think you do
all right? Another question, parenting question, what do you do
when your child has a friend you know is a
bad influence? Again, I guess turns on how bad. But
we've had these conversations, and I think as the kids
(21:19):
get older, I just don't.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
You haven't never had the conversation of like a friend
that we don't.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
Have any friends that are bad influences when we've had
If we get to that is gonna happen. Yeah. If
I don't listen, you're gonna you're gonna butt heads with
your child as they get older and friends they want
to hang out with. That's a fact. While you can
control it, I would try to navigate those friendships, like
how do we hang out. I'm not gonna hang out
with a family who I think is a bad influence
(21:45):
or kids who I think are bad influences. We're not
gonna set up those playing problems.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
When you tell a kid no, no, they're gonna want
to do it even more. So they're gonna gravitate towards
that friendship even more just because you're telling them I
don't want you hanging out with so and so. You know,
my mom's play book was and you know, I always
tell you my mom is a little bit of a witch,
and she's like has like a very intuitive She was
rarely wrong when it came to I don't want to
(22:10):
say judging people when it came to knowing correct so,
but my mom was pretty brutal about it. She's like,
I don't like that person, and she's not coming to
this house. I don't like that guy. You're not allowed
to date him. You know, she was very very specific.
You know the amount of relationships relationships she broke. I
have three brothers older than me, so it was like
(22:31):
a parade of women everything and friends at my house
growing up. And my mom will single handily just make
sure that she would break that relationship just being impossible
to the girl, just being mean to the girl. Yeah,
I to this day, I believe that my my all
this brothers divorced from his first wife, had a lot
(22:52):
to do with my mom because I don't think she
could stand her.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
I yeah, I think I would get involved to a
degree opinion, And how bad of an influence I saw?
One hundred?
Speaker 1 (23:03):
How do you think I'd be horrific?
Speaker 2 (23:08):
What do you mean to be oga magnified?
Speaker 1 (23:11):
It's very possible, Like how no, and she brings home
this girl that I know is she's just trouble.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
Listen, if you see your kids hanging out with somebody
who you know, is you know, maybe underage, drinking in
front of you or drugs in front of not in
front of you, but like you know, yeah, I would
be separating that relationship quick.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
But what do you say?
Speaker 2 (23:31):
I would explain what the bad influence is first and foremost,
and how that could maybe lead to some sort of
trouble and see if the kid can relate and understand
to what's going on and try and be able to
be a part of that decision, knowing what's best for them.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
But you wouldn't go with a following approach. You're not
hanging out with that girl. I don't want to see
her here, I don't want her calling.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
I would start by saying, in a more politically neutral way,
I you know, do you think so and so is
a good influence? Do you think these behaviors are I
would try to involve them in the process of it
so they feel like they have some ownership in the decision.
If they're not, if they're not engaging in that ownership
of the decision, then it's over relationships out done. Then
(24:15):
I pulled the plug aggressively.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
What about would you ever allow your kids to drink
in front of you? Are you going to be the
dad that is going to give Daylan his first beer
at twenty one at whatever?
Speaker 2 (24:29):
Now, I wasn't a saint by any means, and my
parents both weren't weren't drinkers. My dad drank a little
bit as a kid, and he did let me sip
or taste liquor. You know, I tasted it before, not
like here, go have a drink, but like I did
taste it, you know what I mean. But he was
not a drinker, so it was never really around all
the time. But I had a lot of peer pressure
(24:50):
and friends and stuff like that, So drinking at parties
and things like that.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
Were you seventeen at a family gathering with your mom
and dad and you're actually drinking a beer?
Speaker 2 (24:59):
No, no way, My mom wouldn't let me.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Exactly, would you be comfortable with Isabella dealing doing that
in front of you, like Sabelle seventeen saying that I
want to have a beer?
Speaker 2 (25:09):
No? Probably not. No, it was good to know underage.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
I wouldn't be good to know even of twenty one.
I think I'll have an issue.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Well, at some point you have let them make their
own decision. And you're not a drinker, I know.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
But honestly, like I'm going to tell you, like, and
I know this because you know my nieces and nephews,
some of them now they're not twenty one. Frank Jean
franco Is, he's the only one that is twenty one.
But anyways, but I see them sometimes drinking with us,
my brothers, and it's not my kid. I'm fine because
it's fine with my brothers. So I think i'd be
(25:43):
like Olga and I wouldn't be comfortable. She my mom
got lucky because I never liked it anyways. But even
if I would have done it, I know it was
going to be a no yeah for me.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
Look I drink, you don't drink. I would be I
think I would still be uncomfortable watching them, even though
I know I made some decisions that weren't maybe the
best ones at a younger age. I would be uncomfortable
with them doing that in front of me underage, So
I would be like, no, wait till you're older and
then you can enjoy that and whatever they're gonna you know,
(26:12):
they're gonna do what they're gonna do as teenagers before that.
I hope.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
I hope to god, Let's say it doesn't feel like
at eighteen, twenty, twenty one, twenty two, she's going to
be drinking in front of us.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
I know that. I don't mind. I don't mind them
having drinks as they get older. It's not that I
do it, So that's not my issue. It's just about
being responsible, and you know when you're younger and you
make poor decision when you're.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
Younger, I just don't want to see her doing you're
gonna do it outside.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
You're gonna have to get over that. One.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
I know, I do.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
Oh here it goes therapy. All right, Well this has
been fun you guys questions. Thank you, this questions is great.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
I know.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
Well until next time, bye, love, Thanks for listening. Don't
forget to write us a review and tell us what
you think.
Speaker 3 (26:53):
If you want to follow us on Instagram, che goes
out at, he said, Is that? Email Eric and Ross
at iHeart radio dot com.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
He said.
Speaker 3 (27:01):
Ajabio is part of iHeartRadio's Mycultura podcast network.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
See you next time.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
By
This is he said ayah with Eric Winter and Rodland Fanta.
Hello swim today. We're always in good terms. What are
you talking about? Why are we happy today? I just
kidd has something changed?
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Everything's good. We had a date night that's just changed,
our first a long time and one of our favorite
new restaurants.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Yes, it was good. It was nice.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Door a great restaurant becoming visiting Los Angeles. Skirts I've
ever had in my entire life. Japanese milk bread.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Yeah, bread is incredible.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
I think makes you fall in love like Japanese milk
bread and I know skirts.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Day anyway, So what do we have? No guests?
Speaker 2 (00:50):
One episode is actually a bunch of listener questions.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Oh god, I have a look at them. Oh Jesus, okay, interesting,
So you to start let's see I have them right here?
Should you an a Should you.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Encourage a friend who wants to divorce their spouse for
being irresponsible with money?
Speaker 1 (01:11):
You know, we're expected to be supportive when our friends
make major life decisions, including marriage, having children, and getting divorced.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
But I don't know if you should be.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
But is it right to support your friend who is
contemplating divorce when you know the harm it will cause
their children.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Well, I think it's always you always have to be
there to support a friend going through anything. But I
don't know that I would encourage or push someone in
any sort of direction. I don't know unless they're in
something really toxic. What is then I could see you,
you know, encouraging.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Yeah, well what if the other person is just absolutely irresponsible, unconscious,
just terrible with money to the point that it affects
your I mean, the life of your friend and the
kids because the guys so or the girl is so
responsible that it's just so.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
It depends on how irresponsible with money we're talking, right,
Like you said, if they're running like the family, like
their credit into the ground and they have a gambling problem, yeah,
if it's like super toxic and they're going to be
homeless and broken, they're they're like I said, they're running
the family into the ground, then yes, if I think
if it's that extreme, yeah, I think you should encourage
(02:17):
your friend to open their eyes and pay attention.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
And even with kids involved, I think you have to think.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
I listen. I think it'd be a supportive friend. I
just don't like the idea of encouraging or pushing a
friend in a direction, because what if they resent you
for it? You know what I mean, Like divorce is
a big deal. You need to kind of make that
decision on your own. So I think being supportive and
being an ear and giving advice but not deciding.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
So you would say, okay, let's sit down and let's
write down things on a piece of paper, and let's
use it as a balance. There's other pros, there's other cons,
and you're trying to kind of like influence them, but
in a way that it doesn't look like you are
pushing anything.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
I don't think you should influence and anybody with a
decision like that from your own biased unless it's super
incredibly toxic and they are blind and it's that detrimental
to the family. But then that's do you agree that notification?
I mean, somebody has home. I don't know, not right now.
(03:20):
So what would you do?
Speaker 1 (03:23):
I don't know what I would do if I have
a friend that says, listen, I am suffering, my family's suffering.
My husband didn't give me in the scenario suffering, he's irresponsible.
That we're in this financial burden, is like we're going
to lose our house, just because the guy is completely
crazy with his money. I don't know. I don't know into.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
That scenario, but I didn't have in making my decision. Yeah,
if they're going to lose their house and it's toxic
and they're running the family to the ground, then yeah,
you have to like open your eyes and get out
and get out. This is bad. If it's that bad.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
The problem is, you know, some people might say, I'm
going to advise my friend to keep the family together
at all costs.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Yeah, I mean there's that scenario. It just depends on
how listen. You don't want homeless kids because they lost
their house. I mean, that's the kind of thing.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
You know what they always tell you. I don't know
if your parents taught you that when it comes to relationships,
don't ever get involved because at the end of the day,
somebody might decide I'm going to leave the person, thank
you for your for your advice, and then a year
from from that moment they get back together. You're the
la guy.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
You're the bad guy. Now here's the other scenario, Right,
if you're friends with this other person, right, like let's
say it's a close couple friend, then maybe the scenario
is sit You try to arrange sitting down with everybody,
and you're carrying friend to both and you're just like, hey, look,
you know she's you try to help if you can.
But if they ask for help, Well, if she's asking
for help and he's not, but I like, or vice versa,
(04:52):
he's asking for help and she's not. But you say, hey,
I you know I care about you. Guys, so and
so is asking for help. You're you know, there's this
going on. Maybe you're not seeing it, but help do you, guys?
Save the marriage?
Speaker 1 (05:03):
What about not getting involved at all?
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Depends how close there are, do you.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Yeah, it's tricky, guys. I don't know if we answer
your question, but it's a tricky question.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
All right, Next question.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
What do we do about in thows who mean well
but give unsolicited advice? For example, don't buy that brand
of soap because it's toxic, don't buy certain sheets because
they're bad for the environment.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
Well, that would be us basically. Then if we're in
Los to Sabby and Dylan, we'd be those annoying people.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
I'm going to be so bad.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
We would be exactly that, because it's toxic.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
We drive our nanny and we drive your mom married,
because we're always like, they can have this, they can
have that.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Here's the thing we've just become. And maybe it's too much,
it's hard, but we really we are gaining a lot
of education about products and foods that we didn't have
when we were growing up. And we know that we
ate and did you know we're involved with a lot
of toxic things. And I think that's why you're seeing
so many brands shift because they're also acknowledging it. So
(06:02):
we're just trying to be as health conscious as we
can for our children.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
I'm going to give it an example like me growing
up because my father owned meat processing they called a
meat process in factory, and he had his own brand
of hamburgers. They were called Taino Hamburgers. They were very,
very big in Puerto Ricos. So I grew up a
lot of times for breakfast, my breakfast at six thirty
in the morning before going to school was a hamburger.
(06:27):
Just so you know, that's what breakfast, lunch, and dinner hammergers.
A lot of hamburgers. And not only that, it's to
the point that I have an ingrama about it, like
how many times do you see me eating I don't
eat hamburgers. I ate so much hamburgers in my life
that I will puke just thinking about eating a hamburger.
But that was my diet. Then the school had a cafeteria, right,
so my mom never made lunches for me. You eat
(06:49):
at the cafeteria at school. So my from seventh grade
all the way to senior year, right when I graduated
at eighteen years old, my lunch was a bania the pizza,
which is a pizza pastry. Imagine like a fried dough
with pizza, pizza and cheese inside. Then I will have
an icy you say that icy, a slurpy coke slurpy,
(07:13):
and a.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Beach super toxic, and a bee. Wow.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
That's what I ate every single day. And listen, my
mom didn't know that I was actually poisoning myself.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
You're okay, and look, we don't want.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
To be okay and all kinds of things.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
You don't want to be radical because I understand it's not.
Well you have, but no, you don't have to be radical.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
You are radical, it's not you're so radical when it
comes to everything with.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
I don't impose my beliefs no on our family. Yes,
I'm saying I don't impose I always tell you this,
I don't impose our beliefs on other people. Like to
each his own. I think, I always believe you know
you you're you're the dumbest person in the in the room,
if you're if you believe you know everything. So I
think learning and sharing that education with people, if they
(08:00):
can hear it, great, they want to make changes. Great,
we don't have to.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Don't say anything. But every time there is like a
school gathering or dealing has a playdate, right, or there's
a game and then at the end of the game,
a parent is responsible for bringing the snacks. And every
time we see freaking unhealthy typical stuff that people we
don't tell them anything, but they were like freaking Millie.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
I don't know when it comes to us. Listen, there's
been times at the end of a game and right
before dinner someone brings like a dozen donuts for the kids.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
I'm like, why five o'clock don't out any time that happens.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
But like the misnomer, people think that certain electrolyte drinks
and things are healthy and they're just loaded with sugar.
So I don't know, but listen, it's just what we
do with our kids. I don't care what other people
do with their kids. Somebody asked me why I would say,
this is why. This is why.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
I know, but trying to help. But this was funny.
So Dealing is about to do his first summer camp.
It's called Sports and Games, and the school, which Isabella School,
a great school. They are going to provide popsic.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
No, it's not just public. Every day they provide an
otter pop at the end of it. It's a type
of popsicle, very good popsicle the problem. I mean, very good,
like I grew up eating them all the time.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
I love them.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
The reason they're so good is they are loaded with
high fructose.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
So that's awful, I know.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
But so it's simple that the coach knows that I'm
very anal about this, and I email them and I said, listen,
I'm more than happy to just buy some I don't know,
good pops or other popsicles.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
We're we're providing healthy popsicles for this summer camp, just
so Dylan cannot have this horrible poisoned high cand you
say it high. But this was funny. How we're crazy,
like we are the parents basically controlling the school saying no, no, no, no.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Everybody else is having what they want. It's just you're
ringing no no, they.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Just bring Last year for Sabella, there was a summer
camp that you actually provided the popsicles.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
They actually agree you're making all kinds of stuff. They
agreed to them for her. But when they were passing out,
they passed they know what's funny. You want to know
what's funny. When they were passing out those auto pops
to all the kids, Sabella got a good pop and
other kids were like, I want a good pop. Other
kids actually wanted that instead of the autopop because to
some people, the auto pup is too sweet because it's
(10:18):
got so much.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
So we're doing something good for society.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
We're a little nuts. Sorry, people can make fun of us.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
They're gonna make fun of So we got way off topic.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
By the way, should this be about in laws giving
solid advice? We went way off topic.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
I think the door what happened.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
I think it's you know, I think it's tough. I
think in laws listen, it comes natural right. They raised us.
They feel like they can do just as good a
job with our kids, and like it depends on how
involved the in laws are with the family and the kids.
Like in our case, my mom is like our right hand.
She's involved in everything, so her opinion matters to us.
We listen to her, you know what I mean, Like
(10:53):
it's an important but she's like another mom, another grandma.
I mean, she's a grandma, but she's like our nanny
and Delmi are very involved.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Your mom doesn't really try to she basically she doesn't
give you unsolicited advice unless she thinks of something like
like like the kind of like the question was meant
to be answered a specific way because there's there's a
lot of in laws that you're like, oh my god,
I can't start my in laws. Put it this way,
we don't have that problem with your mom because she
is like part of the family, and she's really really
(11:21):
smart when it comes to let me just not say
anything over here, let me provide my input over here.
But she's very smart.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
I said, when you travel, she's there all the time, right,
So it's like she's like another woman. Figure that.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
And she's also fantastic at following are the way we
do things. You know, she doesn't fight hers. She's like
she might not agree, but she's like, you know what,
let me just do this. That's what they do, so
it is what it is. You, on the other hand,
are very lucky that you didn't have Olga my mom.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
The good thing is she would give a bunch of
in Spanish.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Understand thousands of miles away, so you don't really have
to deal with the unsolicited no, no, how you say that,
the wrath of Rodriguez sanche. She'll be judgmental and opinionated
about every.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Single she do it in Spanish to you, so I
wouldn't understand any of it, and then you would just
have to navigate it.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
I will have to navigate it. But my mom doesn't
have to say anything. My mom would just just look
at you, and you know that she doesn't agree or
things you're ridiculous.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Remember the time your mom made starfruit juice and you're like,
oh my god, I came to Puerto Rico for one
of the first times and she was like, oh, my
mom's gonna make starfruit juice fresh from the tree. This
is my favorite juice she makes. And I'm like, I'm
thinking to myself, starfruit I love like organic guys.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
It's from the tree from our backyard. Was amazing.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
I love starfruit, but there's no sweetness in starfruit. It's
just a fun She makes it amazing. And then she
gets this juice starfruit. She blends it all up, makes
this starfruit and then just I mean takes a box
of sugar and just not measures it. Poured a box
of sugar.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
It was like you, I say you.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Half the box was gone, and I was like, what's happening.
Oh my gosh, no wonder.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Mommy. And she's like, okay, okay, that's way too much sugar.
I was.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
I knew. I remember my eyes just bulging, going, oh
my god, the wonder this tastes good. What is the
best way to react when your close family members allow
(13:37):
their children to behave poorly in your life?
Speaker 1 (13:41):
When you close from the members allow their children to
behave poorly, don't I don't have that, have that because
my my niece and nephews they are much older, so
they're just like adults, so they don't do that.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
But you can play that same question on like friends
coming over the play You could play it.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
On the I'm very stern, so to the point that
I have talked to their moms, who are good friends,
and I say listen, I apologize if you think I'm
a little bit too strong. We just don't do this
at this house. And I tell the kids in front
of the moms, I don't hit, or don't do that,
or I don't like it, or get down. I'm very
I'm very serious when it comes to yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
You're you're a little bit all over them on playdates,
and so is you know, doubt me is very on.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Top of it, and I just don't like when they
get aggressive.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Most of our friends, the kids friends, in this sense,
obviously we're talking about relatives because they're all older, but
the kid's friends are all very similar to our kids,
you know. I mean that's time we've bonded with families
that sort of have similar values and so forth and
so on. So it's a little easy. But if we
do see a kid come over on a play date
and it's just like a terror, then usually you you
step in our nanny steps.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
And it's interesting because you know, our Nanni was telling
me this story this morning that she was at the
park with Dylan and it's two of the friends, and
there was another kid not part of the group, like
another kid also at the park, younger, maybe three and
a half four, and the mom was with him, and
the kid was just a little bit of a terror, right,
that drives me crazy, what a p and the parent
was the mom was not doing anything. And then he
(15:03):
basically put sand all over Delmi, del Mi's, our nanny's lunch, everywhere,
the mom that needs anything. He took his pants down
and pete all over the sand, the grass where the
kids were playing fully peeed, and the mom just looked
away like like nothing was happening.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
Then he another kid he grabbed like a woodstick, like
a piece of like a branch, and went like this
to the face and mine Nanni had to not knowing
the other kid went to the nanny said you have
some arnica. Let me just give you some arnica because
that's gonna leave a mark. And then he grabbed two
I don't know what it was too plastics. He grabbed
two plastics and was going to Dylan to go like
(15:40):
this to his face, to his head, and Dila and
Delmi jumped and got in front of him and said,
do not do that. Don't you there do that? And
you don't you You're not gonna play with these kids anymore.
Get the heck out. I was very rude to the kid,
and the mom like freaked out and looked at her,
and then the kid was like super shocked, right, and
(16:00):
then just walked away and they moved to a different
area back.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
That's what took it. That's what took for the mom
still didn't do.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
That anything, and then nanny was like, nanny, Nanny tell me,
was saying, like telling the other nannies that were there
with Sabby and sorry Dylan's friends saying, I know I
was too stern as a kid, but he was going
to hurt Dylan and if them, Yeah, the mom is
not going to say anything. There's no way that I
was going to allow for that plastic to touch him.
(16:28):
So I had to do that, but she was expecting
the month to say, like, what the heck are you
talking about?
Speaker 2 (16:32):
And at some point by the second incident or third okay,
soon as you started peeing in the sand where the
kids are playing, or smacked the kid in the face
with the stick, I would have walked over to the mom.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
And said, you remember when I was in Canada, you
were you were shooting in Canada, which is of his
endo out some kid, and there was I was with
Sabella at the park and this spinning thing, it has
been a little bit of a handful, and he he
was taking over this spinning thing that Isabella liked and
would not let anybody use it and Sabella we were
waiting five minutes, ten minutes, and then Sabella went to
(17:01):
do something and he kind of like pushed her and
I lost my bananas. But the kid wanted to hit me.
Remember that, he was like about to hit me, and
I'm like, do it, do it.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
She's challenging.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
It's like, oh my god, these parents are gonna send
me to jail because I was about on kick his ass.
But I don't like kids that are defying sb Eric.
You know, I love I love children, and I have
the best time and you know how I am with kids.
I love playing with kids. But when there's antill they
cross you until they cross you know. But when you
have those children that are.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
Just like defiant, well here's the problem. I just think
toerate that the parents just parent, that's all. I'm not
saying you have to be a helicopter parent, but parent.
If your kid is walking out of the park, smacking
kids with a stick, hitting kids with plastic bags or whatever,
smacking them in their face, peeing in the sand, throwing
sand on somebody's lunch. Parent.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
But you have to rea, I know, but you have
to be careful because a lot of times if you
get involved, even if you're thinking you're doing the right thing,
you don't know how the other parent.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Is going to lunch or all over the in front
of my kid. I'm gonna say something, all right, next time?
Speaker 1 (18:03):
It has to be careful. What about a cool, cool
parent comes over and causes a problem.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
I don't know. I'm at a loss right now. I
can't believe that actually happened. All right, next question, My
best friend is a hard working mother of too keeps
her home dirty and messy. Should I say something or
stay out of it? You gotta stay out?
Speaker 1 (18:18):
Well, my investment is a hardworking mother of too who
keeps her home dirty and messy. Oh my god, Well
I can't.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
Guys, don't you gotta stay out of it? Is that
your problem?
Speaker 1 (18:28):
There is always dirty dishes in the sink?
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Is it? Is it?
Speaker 1 (18:31):
My place? Would tell her this is an awful environment
for the kids. Or should it just mind my own business?
Speaker 2 (18:35):
Mind your own business?
Speaker 1 (18:39):
How are you not going to mind?
Speaker 2 (18:41):
What if your kids go to the house for play dates,
don't don't send them on playates, or if they do,
just make sure that they're not playing in the in crap.
I don't know. I think you have stay out of it.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
Now.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
If you go to the house and like they're hoarders
or something, there's nowhere to walk around, then maybe it's
a little bit unsanitary and you don't want to have
your kids playing there. But I don't think you say anything.
That's not your problem. Why are you looking at me
like you can't help yourself? How what like you feel
like you have to say something.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
No, only if it affects my my my life or
my children.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Yeah, but how does it affect your children?
Speaker 1 (19:13):
You could do her kid is my kid's best friend
on my and they have sleepovers on sleepovers.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
In the house is like if they're like, let's just
say it's what.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
They're really really good people and they're phenomenal and they
love Sabelle or Dylan and they're really really good.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
Bad we're talking in this house.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
Is like hoarders.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
If it's like hoarders or like dog crap all over
the place or animal feces everywhere, because they're not clean
coming on. I don't know how if it's that bad,
If there's just some dirty dishes in the sink, I'm
not gonna stop my friends from going with my kids anyway. Yeah,
bother you, but I'm not going to stop the kids
from playing over there.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
But you're anal. You're out of control.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
You don't like a single thing. Even Dylan in them
are just like they play and you're like, put that
away place, and they just started playing in the living
room like you just you freak out.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
That's why I need space.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
No, it doesn't matter you freak out.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Clutter in front.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
You're gonna see clutter regardless, because the kids want to
be around us. So if there's gonna be stuff out,
you're just like, ah, you won't even let them leave
a puzzle out.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
No, but why I'm doing better. Sometimes I leave it
up for a couple of days and then I'm gonna
get hours. Gotta go. I don't know what it is,
am I OCD OCD. Like, guys, I'm walking, I'm walking
through the living room and if I see a cushion
that is slightly tilted that I have to go fix it.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
I'm like a problem that is OCD really, But there's
some people actually get puzzles out and enjoy doing puzzles
over and they're out on the table in the living room.
You have your own room designated for puzzles. What have
your own like puzzle room? Why can't you just have it?
Speaker 1 (20:46):
If it's a puzzle room there they don't have a
puzzle room. Puzzle with Z right, puzzle.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
No.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
If you have a puzzle, put on the table out
if you if you live by yourself, yes, you gotta.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Chill out a little bit. Maybe I think you do
all right? Another question, parenting question, what do you do
when your child has a friend you know is a
bad influence? Again, I guess turns on how bad. But
we've had these conversations, and I think as the kids
(21:19):
get older, I just don't.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
You haven't never had the conversation of like a friend
that we don't.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
Have any friends that are bad influences when we've had
If we get to that is gonna happen. Yeah. If
I don't listen, you're gonna you're gonna butt heads with
your child as they get older and friends they want
to hang out with. That's a fact. While you can
control it, I would try to navigate those friendships, like
how do we hang out. I'm not gonna hang out
with a family who I think is a bad influence
(21:45):
or kids who I think are bad influences. We're not
gonna set up those playing problems.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
When you tell a kid no, no, they're gonna want
to do it even more. So they're gonna gravitate towards
that friendship even more just because you're telling them I
don't want you hanging out with so and so. You know,
my mom's play book was and you know, I always
tell you my mom is a little bit of a witch,
and she's like has like a very intuitive She was
rarely wrong when it came to I don't want to
(22:10):
say judging people when it came to knowing correct so,
but my mom was pretty brutal about it. She's like,
I don't like that person, and she's not coming to
this house. I don't like that guy. You're not allowed
to date him. You know, she was very very specific.
You know the amount of relationships relationships she broke. I
have three brothers older than me, so it was like
(22:31):
a parade of women everything and friends at my house
growing up. And my mom will single handily just make
sure that she would break that relationship just being impossible
to the girl, just being mean to the girl. Yeah,
I to this day, I believe that my my all
this brothers divorced from his first wife, had a lot
(22:52):
to do with my mom because I don't think she
could stand her.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
I yeah, I think I would get involved to a
degree opinion, And how bad of an influence I saw?
One hundred?
Speaker 1 (23:03):
How do you think I'd be horrific?
Speaker 2 (23:08):
What do you mean to be oga magnified?
Speaker 1 (23:11):
It's very possible, Like how no, and she brings home
this girl that I know is she's just trouble.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
Listen, if you see your kids hanging out with somebody
who you know, is you know, maybe underage, drinking in
front of you or drugs in front of not in
front of you, but like you know, yeah, I would
be separating that relationship quick.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
But what do you say?
Speaker 2 (23:31):
I would explain what the bad influence is first and foremost,
and how that could maybe lead to some sort of
trouble and see if the kid can relate and understand
to what's going on and try and be able to
be a part of that decision, knowing what's best for them.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
But you wouldn't go with a following approach. You're not
hanging out with that girl. I don't want to see
her here, I don't want her calling.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
I would start by saying, in a more politically neutral way,
I you know, do you think so and so is
a good influence? Do you think these behaviors are I
would try to involve them in the process of it
so they feel like they have some ownership in the decision.
If they're not, if they're not engaging in that ownership
of the decision, then it's over relationships out done. Then
(24:15):
I pulled the plug aggressively.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
What about would you ever allow your kids to drink
in front of you? Are you going to be the
dad that is going to give Daylan his first beer
at twenty one at whatever?
Speaker 2 (24:29):
Now, I wasn't a saint by any means, and my
parents both weren't weren't drinkers. My dad drank a little
bit as a kid, and he did let me sip
or taste liquor. You know, I tasted it before, not
like here, go have a drink, but like I did
taste it, you know what I mean. But he was
not a drinker, so it was never really around all
the time. But I had a lot of peer pressure
(24:50):
and friends and stuff like that, So drinking at parties
and things like that.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
Were you seventeen at a family gathering with your mom
and dad and you're actually drinking a beer?
Speaker 2 (24:59):
No, no way, My mom wouldn't let me.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Exactly, would you be comfortable with Isabella dealing doing that
in front of you, like Sabelle seventeen saying that I
want to have a beer?
Speaker 2 (25:09):
No? Probably not. No, it was good to know underage.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
I wouldn't be good to know even of twenty one.
I think I'll have an issue.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Well, at some point you have let them make their
own decision. And you're not a drinker, I know.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
But honestly, like I'm going to tell you, like, and
I know this because you know my nieces and nephews,
some of them now they're not twenty one. Frank Jean
franco Is, he's the only one that is twenty one.
But anyways, but I see them sometimes drinking with us,
my brothers, and it's not my kid. I'm fine because
it's fine with my brothers. So I think i'd be
(25:43):
like Olga and I wouldn't be comfortable. She my mom
got lucky because I never liked it anyways. But even
if I would have done it, I know it was
going to be a no yeah for me.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
Look I drink, you don't drink. I would be I
think I would still be uncomfortable watching them, even though
I know I made some decisions that weren't maybe the
best ones at a younger age. I would be uncomfortable
with them doing that in front of me underage, So
I would be like, no, wait till you're older and
then you can enjoy that and whatever they're gonna you know,
(26:12):
they're gonna do what they're gonna do as teenagers before that.
I hope.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
I hope to god, Let's say it doesn't feel like
at eighteen, twenty, twenty one, twenty two, she's going to
be drinking in front of us.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
I know that. I don't mind. I don't mind them
having drinks as they get older. It's not that I
do it, So that's not my issue. It's just about
being responsible, and you know when you're younger and you
make poor decision when you're.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
Younger, I just don't want to see her doing you're
gonna do it outside.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
You're gonna have to get over that. One.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
I know, I do.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
Oh here it goes therapy. All right, Well this has
been fun you guys questions. Thank you, this questions is great.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
I know.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
Well until next time, bye, love, Thanks for listening. Don't
forget to write us a review and tell us what
you think.
Speaker 3 (26:53):
If you want to follow us on Instagram, che goes
out at, he said, Is that? Email Eric and Ross
at iHeart radio dot com.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
He said.
Speaker 3 (27:01):
Ajabio is part of iHeartRadio's Mycultura podcast network.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
See you next time.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
By
Host
Roselyn Sanchez
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.