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May 13, 2021 27 mins

Ruben’s parents are excited for his start at a new STEM school, but what they don’t know is Ruben is running on no sleep and the wrong pills, working to score his next interview on the sly, and just about ready to crash. Hard.


Featuring Def Jam artist Masio Gunz & his new song “Slide”


Executive Producer: Asante Blackk

Producer: Daniella Perkins

Starring: Asante Blackk and Daniella Perkins

Co-Starring: Bobby Cius, Rayme Cornell, Christopher V. Edwards and Taylor Bettinson

Written by: Taylor Bettinson and Nakia Hill

Directed By: Christopher V. Edwards


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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
I'm barely keeping my head up in my arms from twitching. Here.
It is last family dinner before I started my new
school and after pulling an all night with Marcos. So
the first episode of our pode can drop right away.
I accidentally took an adder all instead of my climbing pin.
I am wired. My inner freak out has been going
strong all day. Yo, Reuben jay z or Nas. Oh God,

(00:38):
this game again for the million times He's trying to relate.
But come on, dad, this game is so ancient. We'll
try one on me. Okay, Inderson, Pack of Future. Okay,
I don't know who those people are. Oh do they
have beef? No? This is just so he has to
pick between artists from this decade. Okay, okay, fine, point

(01:01):
taker and your old man is old. So are you
ready ready for school? First Stand, Washington Stand Academy? No nerves,
Oh yeah, no, I don't know. I guess I don't
know when I get there. Nerves. They don't know the
half of it. I'm on my last one. You know
that feeling when you have a secret and all you

(01:23):
want to do is talk about it, but at the
same time, all you want to do is keep it
to yourself. That's how I'm feeling right now. But the podcast,
it's out there, live on the internet. All I can
think about is finding out how many listeners we school?
How is last night at Marcus? Here we go? Now
I gotta lie. What if one of the co workers

(01:43):
saw me in the city last night. What if they
spoke to Marco's parents and found out we went to
the city. What if this is a trap? I can
feel that judgment already, even as they smile at me,
trying to coax me out of my shell. I can
hear my mom called the podcast a little project or
a little hobby. She has a way of belittling anything
outside her hopes and dreams of me attending college and

(02:05):
entering in the corporate America. Their vision of my future
is so specific it feels like a straight jacket. But
I can't seem like I'm bursting at the seams right now.
It's fun. He's staying in bene watching Netflix. Oh that
sounds nice. Oh okay, no signs of entrapman. They just
want to know what I'm up to. But I'm barely

(02:27):
holding together. It's been an endless weekend and they cannot
know about it. What movies did you watch? Uh? Just
some comedies, old stuff, House Party, Friday, Half bab You know,
Dave Chappelle is hilarious. You know who's going on school now?

(02:49):
I remember when I was in college, my buddies and
I used to smoke, watch Half Baked. It's fun times,
It's good for you and Marco best butts to the end.
Oh and so out of touch. They don't even know it.
My dad used to smoke. It drives me nuts that
I get words of encouragement for my life about staying
in and watching stoner movies, but I can't trust them

(03:11):
to react. Similarly, if I tell them the truth about
my much more ambitious plans, it's worse because I'm freaking
out inside and they can't even tell. It's like I
don't want them to know, and I'm mad at them
for not seeing through the light. At the same time,
and now I felt a way guilt for being so
annoyed at than when I'm the one hiding something and
come on, you know, no phones at the table. I

(03:34):
try to still a glance of the notification when I
go to Sidnce my phone the Texas from Marco. My bad?
Who was it? Just a text from Marco. They can
tell I'm distracting that I'm not sharing everything, but I
know they won't pry. They'll chalk it up the good
old fashioned teenage rebellion. And they know as well as
I do that Marco and I are trying to figure
out what our friendship looks like now that we're going

(03:55):
to separate schools. I'll tell you what looks like. You're
about done with Danna. You can be excused. Thank God,
I do not need to be told twice. I thank
them both and rush up the stairs to my room,
slamming the door behind me. I blast my own music
and whip out my phone, eager for the latest news

(04:16):
and Yo downloads in less than twenty four hours. I
told you this was gonna be big ship. That's an audience.
This is gonna catch on, like for real enough that
we can score more interviews, maybe even advertisers. My mouth
is literally hanging open. I can feel my jangling nerves

(04:38):
light up inside of me. Whether I'm ready or not,
here comes the break. The numbers are un believable. An

(05:01):
audience this big, so fast, was not what I was expecting.
I feel excited and worried at the same time. This
must have been how Ice j J fishing Shiggy felt
when then my feelings dance blew up. I need to
talk to Mark about what all this means, what's next?
I keep telling myself we were just doing this for fun.
That episode was just testing the water, but that was

(05:22):
just a way of calming my own nerves. This is
happening faster than I thought. Yo, twelve thousand in a day.
That's crazy, man, right right, It's not just people who
saw it in my feet either. It's Novellas fans. They
found it and sped around everywhere. I'm surprised it even
blew up so quick. So what do we do now?

(05:44):
All right? I set up an email link til here
comes to break account in the episode description, and I
already got a message from ma Seo guns pressed people.
He's a nice New York rapper. He wants to be
our next guest. Are you free to do a phone
interview tomorrow? You gotta keep booking these if you want
to post regularly and build the phone man, So tomorrow,
I mean, yes, yes, yes, I can make it work.

(06:06):
Bad strike while is hard and all that. Right, God damn,
my parents are calling for we'll talk tomorrow. Man sleep,
bro you earned it, Mr podcast host. Ye Sleep. There's
no way I'm sleeping after that news, and I've been
on a two day tear. I'm practically delirious right now.

(06:28):
I can't even sit down. I immediately begin pacing around
my room thinking of how I'm going to record this
interview without my parents figuring it out. Maybe use the basement, No, no, no, no,
my classes. Yeah, better sound protection. And I need questions
from macyr Guns. Not the obvious stuff the other interviewers
are asking, you know, the basics, who's your biggest influences,

(06:48):
what's your next project? No way, I have to dig
deeper and ask questions about things that matter, you know,
about their family and and fears, the stuff that our
listeners can relate to. Oh shit, we have listeners. Mom,
you sure you don't want to come downstairs or a dessert? Yeah,

(07:12):
I'm good, Thanks, Okay, see you in the morning. My
son thinks he's too cool for mom's apple pie with
cream damn vibe killer. I can't blame her for trying,
but there's too much going on with me now that
she and dad just wouldn't understand. Now that I'm pursuing
internet fame on my own. I feel like our relationship

(07:34):
is harmed by their reaction when I went viral before
the twittiness and my limbs from the midstime that of
all his fating, and I'm crashing down hard. It's dawning
on me that I'm being funneled into this new stem
school to keep my future on the safe, predictable path.
To them. I've been the obedient son, taking the transference stride,
not doing anything out of the ordinary. But I become

(07:56):
distant and making here comes to break with Marco is
already turning out to be out of the ordinary. It's
flirting with the same kind of future that had them
so confused and rattled back in my buying days. I
started to feel dizzy. I think back to the Navey
Jolie interview and what was their advice to kids trying
to get their parents support, keep your grades up? Even

(08:18):
better advice for me starting at a new school and all. So,
I take a deep breath and turn to one of
the coping mechanisms that I've been taught for dealing with
this dress. I decided to meditate. I'm not a very

(08:42):
well practiced meditator. I'm usually too amped up to settle
down like that and stop thinking. But even if I'm
still experiencing racing thoughts while I closed my eyes and
focus on my breathing, the practice helps m. I feel
the pressure in my chest lighting up. I remind myself

(09:12):
to let the thoughts speed past me without latching onto them,
to be mindful but not caught up in all the
contents of my mind. It's a lot harder than it sounds.
The first wave of thoughts is happily about the interview,

(09:32):
figuring out where to record it, what questions I should ask.
Those thoughts are pleasant, and letting them drift past me
is nice too. It makes me feel like I'm accomplishing something,
even in my passive state. The second wave of thoughts
is a thorn of your family stuff. I imagine my

(09:56):
mom and dad finding out them blowing their tops how
and You're not gonna tell us about this, You're shutting
this account down right away. Man. I can't help but
cling onto these starts and feel my own anger. Even
though I'm just imagining it, it feels real to me.
I have so many unresolved frustrations from when they shut
down my fine account. But I was too young to

(10:17):
understand them then, and it's been too long to flip
out on him about it now. It's like this landmine
of emotional damage buried in our family history, and I'm
dancing around it trying to make this podcast. I kept
beginning to explain what I'm doing to them until I'm
less angry at the thought of it. Kind of diffused
this land mind somehow. Eventually I'm able to let these

(10:39):
thoughts pass from my mind too. I can feel the younger.
That's okay. I just I don't want to be caught
up in it, running in circles in my own head,
pink punking back and forth between my excitement and my frustration.

(10:59):
M hm see. I can only sit and meditate for
a few minutes at a time. Like I said, not
very good at it, but it was enough panic attack
fades and to keep it at bay for the rest
of the night. I turned the right in my interview questions,
researching my subject the work. Tomorrow's phone call with Maze

(11:24):
your guns be here before I know it, and I'm
gonna crash hard any oh. I jumped up from my

(11:55):
desk hours later, woken up by light peeking through the windows.
Mhm it I finally crashed from my pill mix up.
No time is it at six o'clock? Damn? I have
to interview Mazie this afternoon, and I haven't done any
prep in my foggy half a week state. It only
occurs to me now, shit, I have school today. The

(12:18):
whole wee can has been such a blur, and I've
been so caught up in Here comes the break. I
rush around my room, putting together a bag and stuffing
it with notebooks, pencils, all the usual crack. There was
an orientation packet that came in the mail. I'll need that.
Where did I put it? I pull it out from
the drawer of folders, where I must have thrown it
weeks ago. That's about right for the amount of head

(12:39):
space that I've given school lately. I feel like I've
been on an autopilot in my own life. I passed
for a beat not taking the welled photo of the
STEM campus, complete with stock photography full of smiling multicultural
students photoshopped across the front page. Uh, I can barely
stand and look at it. Reminds me of my frustration

(13:01):
with my parents. Now I'm headed to the belly of
the beast book or t itself, and I'm gonna have
to find time to do my interview prep during the
school day. The first school day of the new year
in an entirely new school, off with my backpack loaded,

(13:25):
I grabbed some toasts from the kitchen and hit the
train station. I can't forget to make my transfer. I
make it's a home room, just in time to bust
out my notepad and pull up some Amazing Your Guns
music on my phone for inspiration, but not enough time
to actually get any work done. They all rings the
first period. I cram everything back in my bag and
keep an eye towards study hall. I gotta admit it.

(13:48):
I don't know if it's the fresh green juices that
they make in the cofeteria, the fab labs, or recording studios,
but this school is a vibe. The teachers here are
progressive there y'all and woke. That helps make classes less
of a snooze, and the lectures and conversations are more
than interesting, they're actually invigorating. But Mrs Donnelly, isn't it

(14:10):
also true with the democratization of the news perception, they're uh,
this is cute girl with locks of my audio lab class.
I catch your size and me yet While the teacher
goes on about the semester long project. For a first day,
this is going pretty well. Accept the interview. Prep bell
rings again for study hall. Finally I got a chance

(14:33):
to sit with my notepad and headphones and write out
my questions. The day is almost over, but not for me.
The bell rings one last time, but I've still got
the interview with head of me. I have to get
home fast enough to record this in my closet before
mom calls me down for dinner. For school out, I
book it for the train station and make my way

(14:54):
back out too far rockaway. The train rides at the
end of the line has never felt longer and more
drawn out. When I'm finally off the subway, I rushed
back home through the door and straight up the stairs.
Finally a breather, I paused for a minute and take
the whole day in. I'm loving this podcast work so far,

(15:15):
but it's definitely already putting a strain on my attention
and energy for my family and school work. Mom and
Dad are gonna notice eventually. I guess I'll just have
to play it off and struggling to adjusting my new school.
Of course, that plan is complicated by the fact that
I'm actually enjoying my new school so far. But I

(15:35):
guess it'll do for a cover story with a little
bit more time on my hands. I started symboling my
closet studio, shoving all the hanging shirts to one side,
awkwardly squeezing my desk chair until it fits inside the closet.
For now, we're still pretty bootleg quality. I'll record the
call on my phone and send Marco the audio file.
I checked the time and the views coming up close.

(15:57):
Fifteen minutes, grubing your Hey, mom, you shot right up
the stairs. Is everything okay? Can I come in? I
hate that she asked if she can come in and
then opens the door without a response. It's a small thing,
but speaks to the lack of freedom and privacy I
have in this house. Of course, it gets under my skin.

(16:21):
I freeze up, hoping she doesn't see the chair in
my closet, and masts, what's up? Your father's making short rips.
You want to hear how your first day went. Great's
dinner almost ready? Fifteen minutes, half an hour tops okay,
oh man, that's gonna overlap with the interview. I'm really
gonna have to keep it tight. Text me when it's ready.
That should keep from accidentally interrupting an interview. I see

(16:43):
a flicker of concern passed through my mom's eyes, and
I get it. I've been running around like a madman
for the past four days. I'm just starting to book
of t and I'm keeping here. It comes to break
from her. Her spidy sense is going on, but she
doesn't push. Not now I will, and she walks away.

(17:06):
I feel a fresh wave of anger, but this time
it set myself. I'm mad at her and my dad
that I can't talk to them about here comes to break.
Sure angry they shut down my first shot at the
internet family. We never really talked about it. I'm mad
they transferred me to the STEMP school and I just
went along with it. I'm just all around piste off
and I don't know how to express any of it

(17:27):
to them. It's just a shitty situation all around. But
I not theres something else about my reaction. I'm not panicking.
I've got an interview coming up any minute. I spent
the days scrambling at school and mom and dad are
knocking down the door, and yet I'm excited. I feel good.

(17:48):
It's not like it was at the show the other
night when I almost had a panic attack at the door.
I'm exhilarated. This podcast is good for me. Now, I've
just got to keep it growing under the radar long
enough that my parents can't shut it down when the
truth comes out there. It is our second interview calling
me personally. Here comes to break, episode two. Here we go.

(18:16):
We'll be right back and now back to the show.
So tell our listeners, who is Mazio Guns? What is
your music about? Oh? Yeah, Like we don't see stuff

(18:38):
like well I'm from like we see the same thing
like you can come outside from East New York too,
called cousinuinning this down? Feel me is that's murders and
all of that. So I'll just be doing it for that.
Like the show, people like you ain't got it? Did?
This gets more to liftedness stuff. So that's why I
kind of come over the way I do with my music.

(18:58):
I'm only twenty years old, so I haven't seen a
lot and it's just like certain ways you can't that
coming from one from it East New York. You can't
move with a certain way of the carless you know
the stuff at one time and it's over do the
room thing and may cast you a lot, feel me.
So we can't move crazy anyway. So that just come
with it. You just learned that as be growing up,

(19:19):
I ain't gonna front sometimes I do begin quote up
a little mix up and all that, but I'll be
having people around me let me. Thank God, like I
got the people around me that boys keep me on focus.
But when they come to stuff like that. You know,
everybody want to be a rapper. Everybody want to do
something like but you want to be let But when
they kind of meet, that's what I really doing any
kind of music that's me all the way I feel that,

(19:41):
I feel that you know what it really is about
the people around you, and can you speak a little
more to your circle of trust? You know those people
around you when they come to that. But as the
artist and the artist part coming a longest, it's crazy
because and be a lot of love. People that never
showed you love before start to show you. Like when
we start getting up the hood, right, I'd be like, damn,

(20:01):
I was the same person before even I was doing
the same ship before, so why charging me? Someone love now?
People that have been with me, A lot of people
have been with me. And then iwas down. I wass broke,
I wass I have money? I spent on my money.
They have the more money, so they know what's up
is genuinely ain't faking it, you see me vice versa
what she set up? Like, do you most to record

(20:22):
a studio or do you have a set up at home? Now,
I'll be in the studio four seven. I don't like
being outside the studio because when I'm outside of the
studio it's easy for me to get in trouble. So
I like being in the studio like a lot myself
in the studio. But before I really started being on
some studio ship, I was recording all my studs in
the crib. No I still got as soon that's coming out,

(20:42):
that's from the crib. That's crazy. But yeah, I used
to recording my room save me living at my mown.
Now I feel like that got a lot to do
with how I found my sound because I was engineering
my own stuff for a little minute. So once I
got back in the studio and I started recording what
engine is like, I know how I want everything to sound.
I got pinpoint where this go, where that go off?
Like that. I've heard you have an archive music you

(21:02):
make but don't have a release. How many songs do
you think you've written? Yo, I ain't even go a lit.
I probably got right now, like at this moment. That's
crazy that you asked me that, because I just was
thinking about that at this moment. I probably got gotta say,
like seven hundred songs you got just got to beat. However,

(21:24):
I'm feeling at the moment I say I've failed come
or something. You mix it master the case may be,
but I would saying, listen to it. If I like it,
I'll put it. I got like my sertain folders, so
I got my favorite folders. Then I got the I'll
go back to a folder. Yeah, these times I'll just
do a hook and lead a verse open and then
put it in the acount folder and then go back

(21:45):
to it probably like three months later, and then put
it verse only and then they come out fired. So mean,
just like a little work process that I got seven
hundred songs. That is a lot, man, And your track
whispers in my head. You say the voices in your head,
maybe the demons. I think we all have inner critics.
So how do you cork with the voices in your head? Well,
we all got a demon that we fight. My dealers

(22:08):
really get the streets and stuff and choose the room.
Bet we were right, because you could want to do
it right and the only thing is for you to
go home. I got a lot. A lot of people
don't really talk about it like that, but I don't
really care though, but I do it anxiety too. Sometimes
I gotta be a move like I gotta shake my
leg or something like that when I go to sleep.
Me for me, because I didn't been through mad ship

(22:29):
for me, took him out, get shot at like you
should like that's gonna through crazy ship for me? Voches
in my head. I did that like at a crazy time.
That's why I couldn't make it out because I really
wanted to get out the log. It's like, damn, I'm
tired of that ship. Last question, what do you want
your legacy to be a legacy to day? I want
to be don't one that people think about and be

(22:50):
like he really stood on his ground, he really knew
what he wanted to do and did it and put
that before anything. He really put a hunt sending the
way he did and change the atmosphere around this music ship.
Like anybody, not even music, just life period like that.

(23:10):
Anybody feel like they could do something, just put a
percent into it and do it. All of adversities, all
the obstacles and all of that. For me, just stick
through it, like if that's really what you want to do,
give it your heart and whatever achievements that come out
of that. For me, that's just yellow Wolf for staying
loyal to what you were, laev In, staying with what

(23:33):
you're staying on. That's what I want people to give
me for Like yo, Now it was our interview and
Mazeo has blessed us with a fresh track to break
for you right here on here it comes to break
as always. You know the drill that's coming right up.
This is mask On time to get your listening on
and now an exclusive track from Mazio guns here we

(23:57):
are my secual. No, he don't so alone. I'm sorry.
I touch on me and kiss on you. I got

(24:18):
some things that we can do and sweet you so alone,
I'm slily kiss on me. I'm gonna touch on you.
I got something, then we can do it. Sneak you
doing new things and go skirts girt. I mean you know,
but she know to make it work work, I mean
head it off from picking up there and don't normal

(24:40):
up back on my up bergain. I can't bearing open bridges.
I'm curving. I still shooting mental like a turban and
on the parkway swerving and didn't got a bed and
it's worth so alone, Mama. Sorry, I touch on me,
kiss on you, talk to some things that we can do,

(25:01):
and sneak you so long. I'm sorry, Just soon me,
I'm gonna touch on you. I've got something there. We
can do it me because that's gotta coming back like
I add it. I don't, mama, never been in love
with the says you know you're only going over the baggage.
All these other kisses on my phone, bringing baggage because

(25:24):
in near don't know when she wore for the fashion
anything she want o, Mamma know she can't have it.
And nice jetty to me, you don't know when she's
passing and she'll patting on the loation he got me
in my song to me not to the sordy. I
touch on me ps soon you pok got some things
that we can do with meat and so along. I'm sorry,

(25:48):
it's so me. I'm gonna touch on you. I got
something there we can do it. Sneak you Here Comes

(26:17):
to Break is produced by Double Elvis and partnership with
I Heart Radio Executive produced by Deaf Jam Recordings Executive
produced by and starring Asanti Black Is Ruben, Produced by
Danielle Perkins who plays Janelle, Bobby cs is Marco, Christopher V.
Edwards as Dad, Raymie Cornell is Mom, and Taylor Bettenson.
Written by Taylor Bettenson and the Kia Hill Artist Interviews

(26:39):
conducted by Nikia Hill, directed by Christopher V. Edwards, mixed
and edited by Matt Ta Hainey. Sound recording by Colin
Fleming Music Elements and production by Ryan's Breaker. Additional production
support by Jamie Demons. Executive produced by Jake Brennan and
Grady Sadler for Double Elvis. Special thanks to Oren Rosenbaum,
Shelby Shankman, say Aaron Kaine and Jordan Guerilla, United Talent Agency,

(27:03):
Beck Comedian Marketing, Barack Muffett and Universal Music Group, Rich Isaacson,
lind Gonzalez, Charlene Thomas, Marissa Pizarro Gabriel to Serrierio, Jessica
Manarino and Narya Fleming at deaf Jam Recordings and Conald Burn,
Carrie Lieberman, Will Pearson, Noel Brown and the entire I
Heeart Media team to hear bonus content, meet the cast,

(27:24):
and go behind the scenes of Here It Comes to Break.
Follow with double Elvis on Instagram or visit double elvis
dot com.
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