July 28, 2020 • 8 mins
Uncertainty can cause anxiety, and at challenging times, humans seek comfort in familiarity and routine. Dr. Rachel Goldman of the NYU School of Medicine offers great advice on how to form new routines that will give us back the sense of control we’ve lost. (Hint: Take baby steps!)
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
So welcome to this episode of Here's Something Good, a
production of the Seneca Women Podcast Network and I Heart Radio.
Each day we aspire to bring you the good news,
the silver lining, the glass half full, because there is
good happening in the world everywhere, every day. We just
(00:21):
need to look for and share it. Here's something Good
for Today. In our pre COVID lives, most of us
had routines that made our days reassuringly predictable, something like
get up, get dressed, get the kids off to school,
commute work, come home, and do it again. Now, in
(00:44):
COVID times, many of those routines have been upended, and
the routines we did retain have profoundly changed. Take shopping,
for example, One survey found that Americans are now shopping
for groceries online twice as many as previously. And while
we've been forced to change our habits, it's hard to
create sustainable new routines when the rules and guidelines seem
(01:05):
to change every day. The result, of course, is stress, anxiety,
and even an inability to concentrate and focus. So if
discarding our old routines was upsetting, how do we create
and maintain new ones to get ourselves back on track. Well,
today we're going to speak with psychologists and clinical assistant
professor at the n y U School of Medicine, Dr
(01:25):
Rachel Goldman. Her advice on routines will be especially crucial
in the coming months. Here's what she had to say.
Thanks so much for joining us. Thank you. I'm excited
to be here. Of course, right now, with our lives
shifting so drastically during COVID, the stress levels are incredibly high.
So how important is it to find a routine right now? Yeah? So,
(01:46):
actually that's been my number one tip for people since
COVID has started for the past few months or so,
um that it is so important to find some sort
of routine. And now it doesn't need to be you know,
exact routine as it was, say four or five or
six months ago, rather than saying it probably isn't it.
It is not the same routine and and that's okay.
(02:08):
Every day or routine can be slightly different. But what's
important is to have some kind of structure to our day.
So when our life becomes disrupted and things get turned
upside down once again, we feel like we're we lost
control and creating some structure to our routine is going
to give us that sense of control. So some sort
of structure. What I always say is, you know, at
(02:30):
least go back to the basics kind of like our
survival needs, meaning a week up time, a bedtime or
meal times and then ideally some new time or movement
as well. To just start with that, and that will
be very helpful, especially during this time. I'm guessing that
those are the routines that can maintain sanity during this period.
(02:52):
It really can, Yeah, because our sleep is so disrupted
as well when we're feeling anxious or overwhelmed. It's all related.
Like if our week is disrupted, we tend to create
certain you know, different foods, or we forget to eat
sometimes if we're working from home all day. So it's
really all related. If we just go back to those
basic things, we can then build the rest of our
day around that basic structure. So now, let's say you
(03:16):
create a new routine, or you're trying to create a
new routine, but your partner or whoever you're sharing your
home with has a different routine, especially during the pandemic.
How should a person try to deal with that? That
can be really difficult, you know, because I think none
of us are used to being home with the same
individuals for such a long time. Um. You know, when
we were going to work, you know, we had all
(03:37):
these breaks kind of built into our day, and I
caught them transition times, like the commute. With the transition times,
I'd be like, Okay, I'm going to take my say
my wife or my mom hat off and now I'm
going to be the you know, employee hat kind of
put that on. Um. So it can be very difficult,
and I think the first key is to have communication.
To communicate with your partner or your family or your
(03:59):
should run um, your needs and every day we can
kind of ask ourselves what do I need today to
be the best met and that once again changes on
a daily basis. Sometimes it even changes moment by moment,
but that's okay. But having that conversation and then coming
up with a plan together that works. So for instance,
(04:20):
like if I want my kneed time in the morning
and part of my routine in bogs going out for
a walk or one in the morning, you know, I
need to communicate that to my husband in order to say,
you know, have child care for my son. Um. But
just communicating that and coming up with a plan together
and knowing that it doesn't have to be perfect. You know,
nobody is perfect, but just to be able to tweak
(04:42):
things and be able to get what you need, even
if it's just a few minutes. So right now we
may not have time, so you know, we're not going
to the gym for an hour and things like that,
but to be able to at least have a piece
of what you need to help you feel seen right
now and communication is really keep with that. Are there
specific strategies for creating successful routines? Yeah, so I would
(05:06):
say the first thing to creating a successful routine is
to be realistic with yourself. So you know, like if
somebody says you should and I'm putting kind of like
air quotes in the airline, I say, should um say
work out every day or you should do X y
Z now that we're home and we have all this
extra time, which we don't um, you know, I think
(05:29):
first asking yourselves if that's something that you want to do.
So if we create a goal for ourselves or a
routine for ourselves and it doesn't excite us, it's not
something that we want to do, we're not motivated and
then we're actually going to keep putting it off, and
that's where procrastination comes in, and that's where we end
up failing or not accomplishing our goals or our routine.
(05:50):
So first be realistic and also ask yourself what you
really want, and then I would say start slow. You know,
we can't go from zero to a hundred, so it's
like baby steps. So maybe if somebody wants to create
a better sleep routine and they want to go to
that earlier, you know, don't go to bed two hours
earlier if that's your end goal. Go to bed ten
minutes earlier, and then another ten minutes earlier. So these
(06:13):
small steps can really help. And if we look at
that in terms of goals, we can just look at
it as smart goals, we call them, which is an
acronym for specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely. So I
would say when we're creating any new habit or having
a goal, we can go back to that smart goal
and that's going to help us really achieve what we're
(06:33):
trying to achieve. I love that. Thank you so much
for joining us, of course, thank you for having me.
What a great way to create new routines. I know,
I'm ready to focus online. It's good to know that
having even the simplest routines can give us back that
sense of control that for many of us the pandemic
has taken away. So here's something good for today. Going
(06:55):
back to the basics and creating structure for when we sleep, wake, eat,
exercise is an easy way to relieve some of the
stress that we're all feeling right now. Make sure too,
that the new routines you do create are things you
want to do and that excite you. That's how you'll
be able to stick with them. And if you're building
a new routine, you don't have to make a huge
change all at once. Baby steps, tiny changes are the
(07:18):
way to go, says Dr Goldman. And remember to keep
listening to hear something good as part of your daily routine.
And if there are other questions you need experts to answer,
email us at something Good at Seneca Women dot com.
(07:41):
Thank you for listening, and please share today's something good
with others in your life. This is Kim Azzarelli, co
author of Fast Forward and co founder of Seneca Women.
To learn more about Seneca Women, go to Seneca Women
dot com. Or download the Seneca Women app free in
the app Store. Here's Something Good is a production of
the Seneca Women podcast network and I heart Radio Have
(08:01):
a Great Day. For more podcasts from I heart Radio,
check out the i heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or
wherever you listen to your favorite shows,
So welcome to this episode of Here's Something Good, a
production of the Seneca Women Podcast Network and I Heart Radio.
Each day we aspire to bring you the good news,
the silver lining, the glass half full, because there is
good happening in the world everywhere, every day. We just
(00:21):
need to look for and share it. Here's something Good
for Today. In our pre COVID lives, most of us
had routines that made our days reassuringly predictable, something like
get up, get dressed, get the kids off to school,
commute work, come home, and do it again. Now, in
(00:44):
COVID times, many of those routines have been upended, and
the routines we did retain have profoundly changed. Take shopping,
for example, One survey found that Americans are now shopping
for groceries online twice as many as previously. And while
we've been forced to change our habits, it's hard to
create sustainable new routines when the rules and guidelines seem
(01:05):
to change every day. The result, of course, is stress, anxiety,
and even an inability to concentrate and focus. So if
discarding our old routines was upsetting, how do we create
and maintain new ones to get ourselves back on track. Well,
today we're going to speak with psychologists and clinical assistant
professor at the n y U School of Medicine, Dr
(01:25):
Rachel Goldman. Her advice on routines will be especially crucial
in the coming months. Here's what she had to say.
Thanks so much for joining us. Thank you. I'm excited
to be here. Of course, right now, with our lives
shifting so drastically during COVID, the stress levels are incredibly high.
So how important is it to find a routine right now? Yeah? So,
(01:46):
actually that's been my number one tip for people since
COVID has started for the past few months or so,
um that it is so important to find some sort
of routine. And now it doesn't need to be you know,
exact routine as it was, say four or five or
six months ago, rather than saying it probably isn't it.
It is not the same routine and and that's okay.
(02:08):
Every day or routine can be slightly different. But what's
important is to have some kind of structure to our day.
So when our life becomes disrupted and things get turned
upside down once again, we feel like we're we lost
control and creating some structure to our routine is going
to give us that sense of control. So some sort
of structure. What I always say is, you know, at
(02:30):
least go back to the basics kind of like our
survival needs, meaning a week up time, a bedtime or
meal times and then ideally some new time or movement
as well. To just start with that, and that will
be very helpful, especially during this time. I'm guessing that
those are the routines that can maintain sanity during this period.
(02:52):
It really can, Yeah, because our sleep is so disrupted
as well when we're feeling anxious or overwhelmed. It's all related.
Like if our week is disrupted, we tend to create
certain you know, different foods, or we forget to eat
sometimes if we're working from home all day. So it's
really all related. If we just go back to those
basic things, we can then build the rest of our
day around that basic structure. So now, let's say you
(03:16):
create a new routine, or you're trying to create a
new routine, but your partner or whoever you're sharing your
home with has a different routine, especially during the pandemic.
How should a person try to deal with that? That
can be really difficult, you know, because I think none
of us are used to being home with the same
individuals for such a long time. Um. You know, when
we were going to work, you know, we had all
(03:37):
these breaks kind of built into our day, and I
caught them transition times, like the commute. With the transition times,
I'd be like, Okay, I'm going to take my say
my wife or my mom hat off and now I'm
going to be the you know, employee hat kind of
put that on. Um. So it can be very difficult,
and I think the first key is to have communication.
To communicate with your partner or your family or your
(03:59):
should run um, your needs and every day we can
kind of ask ourselves what do I need today to
be the best met and that once again changes on
a daily basis. Sometimes it even changes moment by moment,
but that's okay. But having that conversation and then coming
up with a plan together that works. So for instance,
(04:20):
like if I want my kneed time in the morning
and part of my routine in bogs going out for
a walk or one in the morning, you know, I
need to communicate that to my husband in order to say,
you know, have child care for my son. Um. But
just communicating that and coming up with a plan together
and knowing that it doesn't have to be perfect. You know,
nobody is perfect, but just to be able to tweak
(04:42):
things and be able to get what you need, even
if it's just a few minutes. So right now we
may not have time, so you know, we're not going
to the gym for an hour and things like that,
but to be able to at least have a piece
of what you need to help you feel seen right
now and communication is really keep with that. Are there
specific strategies for creating successful routines? Yeah, so I would
(05:06):
say the first thing to creating a successful routine is
to be realistic with yourself. So you know, like if
somebody says you should and I'm putting kind of like
air quotes in the airline, I say, should um say
work out every day or you should do X y
Z now that we're home and we have all this
extra time, which we don't um, you know, I think
(05:29):
first asking yourselves if that's something that you want to do.
So if we create a goal for ourselves or a
routine for ourselves and it doesn't excite us, it's not
something that we want to do, we're not motivated and
then we're actually going to keep putting it off, and
that's where procrastination comes in, and that's where we end
up failing or not accomplishing our goals or our routine.
(05:50):
So first be realistic and also ask yourself what you
really want, and then I would say start slow. You know,
we can't go from zero to a hundred, so it's
like baby steps. So maybe if somebody wants to create
a better sleep routine and they want to go to
that earlier, you know, don't go to bed two hours
earlier if that's your end goal. Go to bed ten
minutes earlier, and then another ten minutes earlier. So these
(06:13):
small steps can really help. And if we look at
that in terms of goals, we can just look at
it as smart goals, we call them, which is an
acronym for specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely. So I
would say when we're creating any new habit or having
a goal, we can go back to that smart goal
and that's going to help us really achieve what we're
(06:33):
trying to achieve. I love that. Thank you so much
for joining us, of course, thank you for having me.
What a great way to create new routines. I know,
I'm ready to focus online. It's good to know that
having even the simplest routines can give us back that
sense of control that for many of us the pandemic
has taken away. So here's something good for today. Going
(06:55):
back to the basics and creating structure for when we sleep, wake, eat,
exercise is an easy way to relieve some of the
stress that we're all feeling right now. Make sure too,
that the new routines you do create are things you
want to do and that excite you. That's how you'll
be able to stick with them. And if you're building
a new routine, you don't have to make a huge
change all at once. Baby steps, tiny changes are the
(07:18):
way to go, says Dr Goldman. And remember to keep
listening to hear something good as part of your daily routine.
And if there are other questions you need experts to answer,
email us at something Good at Seneca Women dot com.
(07:41):
Thank you for listening, and please share today's something good
with others in your life. This is Kim Azzarelli, co
author of Fast Forward and co founder of Seneca Women.
To learn more about Seneca Women, go to Seneca Women
dot com. Or download the Seneca Women app free in
the app Store. Here's Something Good is a production of
the Seneca Women podcast network and I heart Radio Have
(08:01):
a Great Day. For more podcasts from I heart Radio,
check out the i heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or
wherever you listen to your favorite shows,
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