October 30, 2024 • 11 mins
Working with disabilities, a grieving window who succumbed to drug abuse, and someone who's been "friend zoned". Today's dilemmas! Do you agree with my advice?
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast. Every night on
my radio show, we have Delilah's Dilemmas.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
We love them all. When you call or you.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Write with a situation that you're in and you just
need a little advice and direction, we love them all,
and today we wanted to share some of them with
you on.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Hey It's Delilah.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from Brian, who says, I need
your help.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
I currently work in manufacturing.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
I was hired in March of twenty twenty one, and
I let my new employer know at the time about
disabilities I have. I was in a terrible car rack
in twenty seventeen. Among other injuries, I fractured my spine
in multi places. I messed up my neck. They accepted
me with these limitations, but for the last couple of
months they are fighting me on everything. I often go
(01:09):
into the locker room to cry. They recently told me
they might not accommodate me anymore unless they can find
a different spot for me, so I may lose my job.
I am devastated and feel like they set me up
for failure. I am so worried about my future and
I need your wisdom. I have preyed on it. I
still don't know what to do from Brian, Brian, I
(01:30):
will have my Mama Delilah words for you. Next Tonight's
Delilah's Dilemma is from Brian, who is worried about his job. Brian, Legally,
I have no idea what the legalities of this are.
I don't know anything about disabilities and what their legal
(01:56):
obligations to you are.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
I don't know any of that. But I do know this,
young man.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
There are a million jobs out there, a bazillion jobs
out there.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
There are so many jobs I can't go.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Any I can't go to I can't go to Burger
King and get an iced tea. I cannot walk into
my Burger King and get a n iced tea because
the dining room is closed down because they don't have employees.
Everywhere I look, people are saying I need to hire people.
I need to hire people. So if you're miserable there,
go get another job. There are a bazillion jobs, and
(02:32):
I've been fired so many times. Brian and had to
start all over so many times. You don't even know.
I have moved so many times. I have been out
of work so many times. And guess what. God never
failed me, never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever ever ever,
and he's not going to fail you. I would get
some legal advice, I would get some medical advice, but
(02:55):
I would not worry about losing this job because there's
a million bazillion other jobs, probably one that's much better
suited for you given your limitations. There are so many
things that I'm sure gifts and talents and skills that
you have that somebody would be happy to hire you with.
(03:17):
So don't despair. If they're being jerks, it's not you.
Don't say that you're losing hope because they're not being
kind or smart or wise.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
There's a lot of jerky employers. Find one that's not.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
But talk to a lawyer first and find out what
your legal rights are.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Okay, all right, good luck, God bless you.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from Donnie. She says, my husband
and I were married for thirty seven and a half
years when he passed away three years ago. We had
one miracle child. When I had a one and a
million chance of getting pregnant, but for thirty four of
our thirty seven married years, I had an addiction problem
(04:12):
with prescription painkillers. About two months after my husband died,
I had my son in law get a prescription of
pain pills filled for me and not for him. That
act cost me my daughter, my son in law, and
my two precious grandchildren. I continued on that path of
(04:33):
drug abuse and ended up in jail for six and
a half months. Now I've been clean for eighteen months
and am trying to get my life back together. I'd
love to contact my daughter, but she will not have
anything to do with me. Do you have any suggestions?
My heart breaks when anyone talks about their child or
(04:53):
their grandchild. I've turned it over to God, but I
keep taking it back every few days. What can I
do to get their trust back?
Speaker 2 (05:03):
From Donnie?
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Donnie, I will have my Delilah's dilemma words of advice
for you girlfriend coming up next.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Tonight's Delilah's Dilemmas.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
From Donnie, who had a many, many, many year, many
decade long addiction and as a result, ended up in
jail and lost contact with her daughter, her son in law,
and her grandkids. And now she says, I keep turning
it over to God, but then I keep taking it
back every few days. Donnie, Obviously when you wrote me
(05:43):
this letter, it was during that time. You're taking it
back because you're asking me what to do, when really
there is nothing I can do. There's nothing anyone can
do except for God. You keep working your program, you
keep working your steps, and I promise you, if God
intends you to be reunited with your family, he will
(06:05):
open the doors and make that happen. It's not going
to be in your time. You don't get to control this.
That was one of those privileges that we surrender when
we take up our addictions and decide to walk that path.
We destroy relationships. And I say we because I've done
as much destructive behavior as you have. Trust me, And
(06:29):
when you destroy relationships, it takes a long time to
rebuild trust. You say, you are addicted for over thirty years,
So it's not going to happen in a few months
getting it all back. So put it back in God's hands.
Leave it there, Go to your meetings, talk to your sponsors.
Don't get bummed out when people talk about their grandkids.
(06:51):
Instead use that as inspiration to inspire you to work
your steps to be thoroughly honest and to stay clean
and sober.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
God has a plan. Trusting it.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is a classic dilemma. Oh my gosh,
how many people have been put in the friend zone
when they want to be in the end zone, when
they want to be with someone falling head over heels
in love, and instead that person says, now we're just friends.
Jeffrey writes, Delilah, I have a big problem. I don't
(07:33):
know what to do. I'm in love with my best friend.
We're both twenty four. She knows how I feel about her,
as I have told her. She says she will never
cross that line with me. When I try talking to
her about it, it turns into an argument. The biggest
problem is the mixed signals she sends me and the
(07:56):
fact that she comes to me with all of her
guy problem. I have to set my feelings aside to
try to give her an unbiased opinion. It kills me
knowing she won't ever give me a chance. I read
the other day that it's hard to wait for something
you know might not happen, but it's even harder to
(08:19):
give up when you know it's everything you've ever wanted.
What do you think should I give up? Please help
me from Jeffrey. Jeffrey, I will have my words for
you coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is a classic dilemma.
(08:45):
How many of us have fallen in love at one
time or another with our best friend, only to be
told Nope, we're just friends and that's all it's going
to be. Jeffrey, there is no right and wrong answer here.
Only God knows what you should do. But I can
tell you if you were my son or my daughter,
(09:08):
what I would suggest. Putting your life on hold, putting
your heart on hold hoping for a circumstance to change
is kind of silly. She has told you in no
uncertain terms, she does not have romantic feelings for you.
(09:30):
If she said let's just be friends, but then she
behave towards you like a girlfriend, then she would be
giving you mixed signals. But the fact that she said
we're friends, I'm not going to cross that line. And
then she continues to talk to you about all of
her guy friends and her guy problems and her boyfriends
(09:51):
means she's not really given you mixed signals at all.
She is being really upfront that to her, you are
in the friend zone and you're not You're not going
to be out of that friend zone. So doing what
you are currently doing is not going to change that equation.
I can tell you it has been my personal experience
(10:15):
that if you stand up and walk away and put
a little distance between you and this girl, she might
just open her eyes and realize what an incredible young
man you are. You see, when something is a little
bit too available, a lot of women aren't interested. But
(10:38):
the minute that that person becomes just a deemy, tiny
bit unavailable, all of a sudden, she opens her eyes
and goes, oh, my goodness, I'm losing a good thing.
Sometimes when something is within our reach, it becomes commonplace.
But the minute that it's a little bit out of
(11:01):
our reach. And I'm not saying stop loving her, stop
caring about her, stop being her friend. I'm just saying,
stop waiting for her to call you and go live
your life. Maybe she'll realize what an awesome young man
you are.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Those are my thoughts. Jeffrey, good luck. I so hope
you have enjoyed these radio
Speaker 1 (11:22):
Moments as much as I enjoy bringing them to you,
I'll share more with you each weekday on Hey It's
Delilah Do
Hey it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast. Every night on
my radio show, we have Delilah's Dilemmas.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
We love them all. When you call or you.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Write with a situation that you're in and you just
need a little advice and direction, we love them all,
and today we wanted to share some of them with
you on.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Hey It's Delilah.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from Brian, who says, I need
your help.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
I currently work in manufacturing.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
I was hired in March of twenty twenty one, and
I let my new employer know at the time about
disabilities I have. I was in a terrible car rack
in twenty seventeen. Among other injuries, I fractured my spine
in multi places. I messed up my neck. They accepted
me with these limitations, but for the last couple of
months they are fighting me on everything. I often go
(01:09):
into the locker room to cry. They recently told me
they might not accommodate me anymore unless they can find
a different spot for me, so I may lose my job.
I am devastated and feel like they set me up
for failure. I am so worried about my future and
I need your wisdom. I have preyed on it. I
still don't know what to do from Brian, Brian, I
(01:30):
will have my Mama Delilah words for you. Next Tonight's
Delilah's Dilemma is from Brian, who is worried about his job. Brian, Legally,
I have no idea what the legalities of this are.
I don't know anything about disabilities and what their legal
(01:56):
obligations to you are.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
I don't know any of that. But I do know this,
young man.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
There are a million jobs out there, a bazillion jobs
out there.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
There are so many jobs I can't go.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Any I can't go to I can't go to Burger
King and get an iced tea. I cannot walk into
my Burger King and get a n iced tea because
the dining room is closed down because they don't have employees.
Everywhere I look, people are saying I need to hire people.
I need to hire people. So if you're miserable there,
go get another job. There are a bazillion jobs, and
(02:32):
I've been fired so many times. Brian and had to
start all over so many times. You don't even know.
I have moved so many times. I have been out
of work so many times. And guess what. God never
failed me, never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever ever ever,
and he's not going to fail you. I would get
some legal advice, I would get some medical advice, but
(02:55):
I would not worry about losing this job because there's
a million bazillion other jobs, probably one that's much better
suited for you given your limitations. There are so many
things that I'm sure gifts and talents and skills that
you have that somebody would be happy to hire you with.
(03:17):
So don't despair. If they're being jerks, it's not you.
Don't say that you're losing hope because they're not being
kind or smart or wise.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
There's a lot of jerky employers. Find one that's not.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
But talk to a lawyer first and find out what
your legal rights are.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Okay, all right, good luck, God bless you.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from Donnie. She says, my husband
and I were married for thirty seven and a half
years when he passed away three years ago. We had
one miracle child. When I had a one and a
million chance of getting pregnant, but for thirty four of
our thirty seven married years, I had an addiction problem
(04:12):
with prescription painkillers. About two months after my husband died,
I had my son in law get a prescription of
pain pills filled for me and not for him. That
act cost me my daughter, my son in law, and
my two precious grandchildren. I continued on that path of
(04:33):
drug abuse and ended up in jail for six and
a half months. Now I've been clean for eighteen months
and am trying to get my life back together. I'd
love to contact my daughter, but she will not have
anything to do with me. Do you have any suggestions?
My heart breaks when anyone talks about their child or
(04:53):
their grandchild. I've turned it over to God, but I
keep taking it back every few days. What can I
do to get their trust back?
Speaker 2 (05:03):
From Donnie?
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Donnie, I will have my Delilah's dilemma words of advice
for you girlfriend coming up next.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Tonight's Delilah's Dilemmas.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
From Donnie, who had a many, many, many year, many
decade long addiction and as a result, ended up in
jail and lost contact with her daughter, her son in law,
and her grandkids. And now she says, I keep turning
it over to God, but then I keep taking it
back every few days. Donnie, Obviously when you wrote me
(05:43):
this letter, it was during that time. You're taking it
back because you're asking me what to do, when really
there is nothing I can do. There's nothing anyone can
do except for God. You keep working your program, you
keep working your steps, and I promise you, if God
intends you to be reunited with your family, he will
(06:05):
open the doors and make that happen. It's not going
to be in your time. You don't get to control this.
That was one of those privileges that we surrender when
we take up our addictions and decide to walk that path.
We destroy relationships. And I say we because I've done
as much destructive behavior as you have. Trust me, And
(06:29):
when you destroy relationships, it takes a long time to
rebuild trust. You say, you are addicted for over thirty years,
So it's not going to happen in a few months
getting it all back. So put it back in God's hands.
Leave it there, Go to your meetings, talk to your sponsors.
Don't get bummed out when people talk about their grandkids.
(06:51):
Instead use that as inspiration to inspire you to work
your steps to be thoroughly honest and to stay clean
and sober.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
God has a plan. Trusting it.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is a classic dilemma. Oh my gosh,
how many people have been put in the friend zone
when they want to be in the end zone, when
they want to be with someone falling head over heels
in love, and instead that person says, now we're just friends.
Jeffrey writes, Delilah, I have a big problem. I don't
(07:33):
know what to do. I'm in love with my best friend.
We're both twenty four. She knows how I feel about her,
as I have told her. She says she will never
cross that line with me. When I try talking to
her about it, it turns into an argument. The biggest
problem is the mixed signals she sends me and the
(07:56):
fact that she comes to me with all of her
guy problem. I have to set my feelings aside to
try to give her an unbiased opinion. It kills me
knowing she won't ever give me a chance. I read
the other day that it's hard to wait for something
you know might not happen, but it's even harder to
(08:19):
give up when you know it's everything you've ever wanted.
What do you think should I give up? Please help
me from Jeffrey. Jeffrey, I will have my words for
you coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is a classic dilemma.
(08:45):
How many of us have fallen in love at one
time or another with our best friend, only to be
told Nope, we're just friends and that's all it's going
to be. Jeffrey, there is no right and wrong answer here.
Only God knows what you should do. But I can
tell you if you were my son or my daughter,
(09:08):
what I would suggest. Putting your life on hold, putting
your heart on hold hoping for a circumstance to change
is kind of silly. She has told you in no
uncertain terms, she does not have romantic feelings for you.
(09:30):
If she said let's just be friends, but then she
behave towards you like a girlfriend, then she would be
giving you mixed signals. But the fact that she said
we're friends, I'm not going to cross that line. And
then she continues to talk to you about all of
her guy friends and her guy problems and her boyfriends
(09:51):
means she's not really given you mixed signals at all.
She is being really upfront that to her, you are
in the friend zone and you're not You're not going
to be out of that friend zone. So doing what
you are currently doing is not going to change that equation.
I can tell you it has been my personal experience
(10:15):
that if you stand up and walk away and put
a little distance between you and this girl, she might
just open her eyes and realize what an incredible young
man you are. You see, when something is a little
bit too available, a lot of women aren't interested. But
(10:38):
the minute that that person becomes just a deemy, tiny
bit unavailable, all of a sudden, she opens her eyes
and goes, oh, my goodness, I'm losing a good thing.
Sometimes when something is within our reach, it becomes commonplace.
But the minute that it's a little bit out of
(11:01):
our reach. And I'm not saying stop loving her, stop
caring about her, stop being her friend. I'm just saying,
stop waiting for her to call you and go live
your life. Maybe she'll realize what an awesome young man
you are.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Those are my thoughts. Jeffrey, good luck. I so hope
you have enjoyed these radio
Speaker 1 (11:22):
Moments as much as I enjoy bringing them to you,
I'll share more with you each weekday on Hey It's
Delilah Do
Host
Delilah
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