DELILAH DILEMMAS: Where's the exit?

When you're in a jam, it's sooo difficult to find a way out. Maybe I can help. ~ Delilah

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast, Hey It's Delilah.
Every night on my radio show, I have a feature

(00:22):
called Delilah's Dilemmas, or folks call me or write me
and share a sticky situation they're in and I try
to help them figure out the best course of action. Today,
We're going to listen to some of those unique situations
right here on Hey It's Delilah. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is

(00:46):
from someone named Chip, who says, Hey, Delilah, love your show,
Thanks for your words of wisdom. I have a dilemma.
I live with my mom, who is sixty seven. We've
always had a good relationship and she's always had my back,
but she doesn't like my new girlfriend. I'm thirty six

(01:09):
and my new girlfriend is sixty She has a disability
from being in the US Army and sometimes has physical
stability issues. I worry about her living alone and experiencing
a fall. I secretly sneak out to see her since
my mom doesn't want me to talk to her. How

(01:31):
do I make my family accept my girlfriend and help
them understand our love. I feel like the entire world
sees something differently. What are your thoughts on this? Thanks
so much from Chip. Chip. I have thoughts on this
since you ask, and I will share them coming up
next Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from who is asking me?

(02:01):
How do I make my family accept my girlfriend and
help them understand our love? You don't. It's nobody's business
but yours. Chip. You're thirty six. Why do you live
with your mother? If you yourself have a disability and
your mom is your caretaker, that's one thing, But you
don't mention that in this letter. Nowhere do you mention that.

(02:25):
You do say I secretly sneak out to see my girlfriend.
Why at thirty six years old, are you secretly sneaking anywhere.
You're a grown man. You don't need anyone's permission or
approval to date anybody. It's your life. You're an adult.
If you don't like the way your mother is treating her,

(02:49):
then move out. If you feel this is the woman
that you are meant to be with, then show the
world that by being a man and taking care of her,
you're never going to convince someone else that they should
change their opinion or like someone that you love. That's

(03:10):
not your job. Your job is to live your life
authentically and honestly. So if you are old enough to
decide you want to love someone twice your age, then
you are old enough to stand by that decision and
grow a backbone and be a man, be an adult.

(03:33):
Don't try to change somebody else's opinion, change your life.
That is my best advice. Good luck and God bless you.
Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from Allen, who says, Hi to Delilah.
I'm writing to you because I am completely utterly heartbroken.

(03:58):
This spring, I just covered my fiance had been seeing
her ex. We argued, and she left to go be
with him. I wouldn't let her take our girls, ages
seven and eighteen months with her. Without my daughters, I

(04:18):
would be nothing. I'll fight for my baby girls until
I have no fight left. They mean everything to me
and they are the reason I'm still breathing. I am
just in shock. Did she ever really love me? Delilah?
I could use a friend, and I could use some prayers.

(04:39):
I don't want to take the children from her, but
I cannot see another man caring for my daughters. It'll
break me more than I am broken. Now, please help
me from Alan, Alan off the air, I am going
to say those prayers for you on the air. I
will have my words of advice coming up next. Tonight's

(05:11):
Delilah's dilemma is from a young dad named Alan who's
got two babies and their mom is gone. She left
to go be with her ex. Legally, Alan, you cannot
keep your daughters from their mother, nor should you want
to keep your daughters from their mother. If she is

(05:33):
not stable, if her living environment is not stable, if
her ex, her new boyfriend would harm your daughters in
some way, if he is unsafe, if he's abusive or addicted,
or if she is addicted, then you need to get

(05:53):
a lawyer and put together a parenting plan that will
protect them to the best of your ability. But you
need to let your daughters have a relationship with their mother.
Legally you need to do that, and emotionally you need
to do that. If their mother chooses to leave them

(06:14):
with you and does not want to parent them, then
you can get a parenting plan put in place that
reflects that. But if their mother wants to parent them
and wants to be a part of their life. You
cannot prevent her from having access to her children any

(06:35):
more than a mother should ever do that to a father.
You should want what's best for your daughters, and it
is always best for children to have both parents involved
in their lives, both parents loving them, both parents advocating
for them. So I know you're hurt, and I know

(06:56):
you're angry, and I know you've been betrayed, but you
know need to put your anger and your heartbreak and
your betrayal aside and decide what is best for your babies.
That's what you need to do, is put your anger
and your heartache aside. You need to forgive because if

(07:18):
you don't, it's going to eat you alive and it's
going to prevent you from having healthy relationships in the future.
So you need to forgive. And then once you let
go of that rage, let go of that anger, let
go of that heartache, that feeling of betrayal, then you

(07:40):
need to figure out how best to help your babies
to still feel secure even though they don't have that
family unit anymore. Good luck and God bless you, Nicholas writes,

(08:00):
I've been in a complicated relationship for about six months
with someone who is hesitant to make a strong commitment
despite us spending so much time together. We've had a
reugh few weeks. They are now distant from me, slow
to text, and only a few phone calls. I'm worried
if I bring it up or push too hard, I

(08:21):
might push them away altogether. Am I rushing things? Am
I asking too much? Should I give it more time?
What should I do? Please? Help me? From Nick? Nick?
I will have my words of advice coming up next.

(08:43):
Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from Nicholas, who's been seeing somebody
in a complicated relationship for six months and is pushing
them for a commitment and they are pushing away and
not returning calls or text Nicholas, you should go get counseling.
That's what you should do. You should go get counseling.
You should stop focusing on forcing what you want or

(09:07):
expect from this relationship and go talk to somebody to
figure out why you are so insecure and why you
need to make things happen your way. You're being controlling.
If somebody wants to love you and wants to be
with you. They will love you and be with you.

(09:29):
If they are hesitant, you can't make them hurry up
and want you. You are trying so hard to force
something that you are killing the relationship. So I would
suggest that you go talk to somebody, a counselor a
pastor or somebody who can help you to understand that

(09:55):
you're not God and you don't get to determine timelines
for things like this. You need to let go and
let God, let go of the need to control the
outcome of this relationship, and let it blossom naturally. Good luck,
God bless you. I so hope you have enjoyed these

(10:18):
radio moments as much as I enjoy bringing them to you.
I'll share more with you each weekday on Hey it's Delilah.
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