October 8, 2021 • 22 mins
Politics, climate change, Covid, Afghanistan—the news is depressing and anxiety-causing, but many of us can’t stop watching. Dr. Saltz tells a listener how to deal with the negative feelings that result from this information firehose and direct them toward positive change in the world.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
These are challenging times, but you don't have to navigate
them alone. Welcome to How Can I Help? I'm Dr
Gail Saltz. I'm a clinical Associate Professor of Psychiatry at
the New York Presbyterian Hospital, a psychoanalyst, and best selling author,
and I'm here every week to answer your most pressing questions,
(00:27):
hopefully with understanding, insight, and advice. There is a lot
of bad news these days, COVID, politics, economy, climate change,
natural disasters, crime, international humanitarian crises. Today I'm answering a
(00:48):
question from a listener about the impact of watching, reading,
and listening to the news. With the constant presence of
innumerable news outlets and social outlets that you can listen to, watch, discuss, scroll,
and read the doom and gloom, you can do it
(01:10):
from morning till night. Many people get drawn into constant
consumption thinking they just want to stay abreast, but in actuality,
they're very drawn to the horrors, rather like someone might
be drawn to watching true crime shows or horror movies.
Sometimes these news items affect them directly, but more often
(01:34):
the news story doesn't affect them directly and personally in
the here and now. Sometimes People who are not directly
affected are able to watch and read these news items
and not find themselves emotionally that affected. But oftentimes people
are emotionally impacted despite the lack of day to day impact.
(01:58):
Sometimes you might not even be aware of how emotionally
impacted you are by the constant news consumption. It just
adds to a feeling of general tension, concern, feelings of
lack of safety, that there are dangers lurking, stressful situations
being around every corner, and for many, sadness, but the
(02:22):
world has so much suffering. Many of these people are
aware that the news items upset them a lot, but
they feel compelled to continue scrolling and consuming, unable to
look away and thinking about the dire situations around the world.
(02:42):
They are aware that the content creeps into their daily
thoughts intrudes on their ability to concentrate and to have
pleasurable times, because the thoughts pop up and remind them
that actually the world feels like it's on fire or
is being on sad. These thoughts tie themselves to mood
(03:04):
and anxiety levels. In general, it's possible to feel depressed
or develop overwhelming anxiety, and as though the depression or
anxiety is due to the many real and also existential
calamities of the planet Earth. Why does some people watch
(03:25):
and then blithely go on with their day while others
feel consumed with the content all day long. Our brains
are all wired a little differently. Some people are either
biologically and or due to past difficult circumstances, more predisposed
(03:46):
to a number of things. One is the predisposition to
depressive disorders and anxiety disorders. It is known that both
mood disorders and anxiety disorders run in family, and that
there is a genetic component. And if this is the
case for you, spending a lot of time in taking
(04:08):
content that is distressing or worrisome can stress you, and
chronic stress can increase the likelihood that a mood or
anxiety problem will arise. People who have had traumatic experiences
in their past, in childhood or even in adulthood are
(04:28):
often more predisposed to being triggered by distressing content, especially
content which in any way is reminiscent of the trauma
they particularly experienced, but even content that is not specific
to them. If that content engenders a similar emotional impact,
(04:49):
that may also trigger them. People who are already living
in very stressful circumstances may also have a lower threshold
for being disturbed by the news in an ongoing way.
The way mood and anxiety often work is that one
can start to have increased feelings of sadness or worrying,
(05:10):
and then actually, temporarily after that emotional state is there,
the brain grabs onto thoughts to help cognitively explain why
you were feeling that way. So, in other words, first
you're having the feeling state, and then you're registering the
thoughts that explain your feeling state. But it already happens
(05:34):
so fast it feels like you're having the thoughts first.
So it may be that you are already struggling with
increased sadness or nervousness, and then your mind says, albeit
very quickly, so quickly that consciously it seems like the
thought came from the feeling state. Why am I feeling
like this? And your answer is because there are terrible
(05:55):
forest fires in California and people are losing their homes
and anim is in the forest or dying horrible deaths.
But from your couch in New York, it's not that
this isn't terrible news it is, it's that you register it,
and it emotionally stays with you for a long time,
and it may even seem stuck in your mind on
(06:18):
an endless loop, which leads me to a group especially
affected by the news. Almost everyone thinks about something disturbing
every day, like what if I got in a car crash?
But the thought comes into their head and then it
floats out so quickly it may not even register consciously
(06:39):
at all. But some people have an obsessional style of thinking.
This could be a person with obsessive compulsive disorder, but
it could also be a person who doesn't have o
c D but still has a tendency for obsessional or
sticky thoughts. Thoughts tend to get stuck in your mind
(07:00):
and not only don't float away, but if they try
to push them away saying, oh, that's upsetting, I don't
want to think about that, and I'll try not to,
the thought actually becomes even more sticky and more front
and center in their minds. The more they think, I've
got to stop thinking about climate change, it's so upsetting
(07:22):
to me. The more they feel plagued by thoughts of
starving polar bears and feel upset sad or worried the
tenacity of their thoughts may make the thoughts seem even
more real to them, more present and pertinent, which only
serves to exacerbate the feeling state that it invokes. How
(07:47):
can I help with Dr Gail Salts will be back
after the short break. Let me turn to my listeners
question and see how can I help, Dear Doctor Saltz.
(08:07):
I love your podcast. It has made my life better
in many ways. I've been following the news on Afghanistan
and seeing what's happening there, the airport attack, Taliban murders,
and the Afghans who can't leave and will now be
living in a mostly restrictive military country, and I keep
feeling this sense of survivor's guilt. I get to enjoy
(08:31):
my freedoms and can go on living, but forty million
people won't. I don't know how to reconcile this with
daily life, in that I find myself thinking about Afghanistan
sometimes throughout the day when doing basic entertainment activities like
watching a show or scrolling through social media, and instantly
(08:54):
drift off worrying about them. What can I do to
fix this? First of all, thank you listener, for your
positive feedback. I really appreciate that there is no doubt
that numerous unthinkable atrocities happened in Afghanistan, and there are
likely to be future ones as well. Numerous people in
(09:17):
this country are disturbed by the sequence of events there
and have concerned for the futures of the people of Afghanistan.
But you are describing instantly and frequently drifting off to
worrying about them no matter what else you are doing.
It sounds as if these thoughts are intruding on your day,
(09:37):
preoccupying your thoughts and making it difficult to engage with
other thoughts, activities, and other moods. I understand why you
are using the words survivors guilt, because part of your
sadness and worry for them is guilt that you are
not them. Not actually suffering as they do is a
(10:00):
huge part of depression for many people. In fact, guilt
is one of the main feelings I ask about when
interviewing a patient to examine possible depression. People who are
experiencing depression often experience it in the form of crushing
guilt about all manner of things, both seemingly rational and irrational,
(10:26):
but survivor's guilt is a symptom by definition, usually reserved
for someone who has survived an event or illness, or
other life threatening circumstances that others or another did not survive.
It can be a soldier at war or a group
in a car crash where a survivor of a life
(10:49):
threatening disease. It often is a symptom that accompanies post
traumatic stress disorder after a traumatic event, but it doesn't
have to be a part of PTSD. It can occur
on its own. So while I would say your situation
doesn't exactly meet the definition of survivor's guilt, the concept
(11:13):
that you are experiencing feelings of guilt in the face
of a group of people going through horrendous atrocities that
you are not by luck of the fact that you
do not live in Afghanistan has to do with the
reports creating we're joining with a sense of sadness that
(11:33):
you have, and with the sadness is coming feelings of
guilt that somehow you are bad for not saving them.
Actual symptoms of survivor's guilt include, for psychological symptoms, feelings
of helplessness, flashbacks of the traumatic event, irritability, lack of motivation,
(11:56):
mood swings and angry outbursts, obsessive thoughts about the dramatic event,
and sometimes even suicidal thoughts. And physical symptoms can come
along with that too, changes an appetite, difficulty, sleeping, headaches,
nausea or stomach ache, racing heart. If you have been
one of the people on the plane out of Afghanistan
(12:19):
and now we're feeling safe, I would say that indeed
you may be suffering both PTSD and survivor's guilt. However,
what you are bringing up is how easy it is
for someone who is predisposed to depression or anxiety or
obsessional thinking to overidentify with the victims in any news story.
(12:46):
One strength of many people who have depression or an
anxiety disorder is actually they are tremendously empathic people. They're
sensitive and able to really put themselves in another person's us,
to understand and imagine where they are coming from, how
it feels to be them, and then to react with
(13:09):
wonderful compassion. This strength, however, is a downside of when
you easily empathize and imagine being with them, you can
also feel their suffering. It may be hard to erect
the appropriate boundaries to know that though you may sympathize
(13:31):
with them, you aren't them, and you are truly okay.
Even if they are not. Empathizing with all victims and
all tragedies of the world is overwhelming and it's unsustainable
and actually mentally unhealthy. It also doesn't really fix the
(13:55):
situation for the victims. Another particular issue that you're alluding
to is what's called your locus of control. Some people
are more likely to internalize blame about anything and everything.
(14:15):
When explaining events, they tend to attribute causation to their
personal characteristics rather than in cases outside forces. In a
lot of situations, this can be a good thing for
self esteem. For example, by taking credit for good outcomes,
people are able to feel better about themselves and their abilities,
(14:38):
But it can be devastating when people blame themselves for
events that are out of their control. If you tend
to see many occurrences, both good and bad, as in
your control, this can increase the likelihood that you feel
worse when bad things happen, even though they really only
(15:00):
may be completely out of your control, because you feel
nonetheless that you should be able to control them. Another
reason that you could be experiencing this high guilt includes
things like if you've had a history of trauma. Research
indicates that experiencing a trauma during your childhood increases the
(15:23):
likelihood of negative emotions following even witnessing other disturbing events.
If you have a history of depression, people who are
already depressed who experienced it in the past might be
more likely to experience guilt and anxiety following witnessing other traumas.
(15:45):
And if you have low self esteem, because people with
low self esteem may place less value on their own
well being, and when faced with surviving something that others don't,
they may be more likely to question whether they deserved
their good luck, and this can lead to high feelings
(16:07):
of guilt. Whichever of these reasons may be explaining why
you are struggling with guilt about the situation in Afghanistan,
and I would imagine for future news items of similar sorts.
Here are some things that could be helpful to you.
It's okay to allow yourself to feel sad for them.
(16:30):
It is reasonable to acknowledge when other people are hurting,
and to allow yourself to sympathize, which is different from empathizing.
In other words, I feel sorry for you is different,
then I imagine being you and therefore more fully understand
(16:52):
what it is to be you. So channel your sadness
into sympathy. Then, sometimes when you're really bothered, it is
important and good to do something positive, whether it's for
yourself or others. Take your feelings and direct them toward
(17:13):
making a positive change in the world. You could do
it vis a vis these people who are struggling in Afghanistan,
maybe looking into how you can be helpful supporting an
organization that is helping them, for example. But it really
could be about any sort of positive change in the world,
people in your community, even yourself. But the very action
(17:37):
of helping and particularly helping others can make you feel
better in this sort of circumstance, focus on the outside
factors that actually lead to this event that disturbs you.
Shift your focus onto the externals that created the situation
(17:57):
will help you to let go of some of the
feelings of personal guilt because you'll be more aware that
the cause has nothing to do with you, which is true.
So what caused this situation and Afghanistan? Well, you might
think about the history, You might think about other groups
(18:20):
involved the Taliban. You might think about basically the long war,
but things that don't have to do with you, Remember
that these feelings are very common. Experiencing guilt doesn't mean
that you're guilty of doing anything wrong. Sadness, fear, anxiety, grief,
(18:44):
and even guilt are completely normal responses to a terrible tragedy.
And while it's normal, so you don't make yourself feel
like you're having terrible pathology. It is okay to feel
happy about your own good luck while at the same
time mourning the fate of others. So remember, feeling guilt
(19:08):
doesn't mean you're guilty. If you continue to have intrusive,
upsetting thoughts, don't try to push them out, because, as
I mentioned earlier, pushing them out actually makes them stick
even more strongly, but rather try to examine how realistic
are they? Is it realistic for you to feel responsible
(19:30):
that the Afghan women will live under onerous circumstances. Try
to restructure or restate your thought to a more realistic one.
Is it sad for them? Yes, I feel sorry for them.
My lack of oppression can't change things for them, and,
(19:53):
perhaps more importantly, at the moment, decrease your triggers. Once
you have identified a topic that is especially triggering to
this type of mental response, you want to purposely try
to not have new triggers. You may need a few
weeks where you don't scroll at all, where you just
(20:16):
check in with a headline once in the morning on
your computer, and you don't go down the rabbit hole
of reading more of looking more decreasing you're getting triggered
over and over again. Will give your mind a chance
to move on from the same content and feel better.
(20:39):
I hope this was helpful. Some people are really taking
in too much news for them and their brains. You
don't need to constantly watch or read news to be informed,
and much of it is serving to emotionally taxi. Many
of us could truly benefit from limiting our news exposure.
(20:59):
I'm not talking about having no idea what's going on
in the world. I'm talking about checking in with the
top headline once a day and then being done. The
constant emotional ping of distressing stories, lurid details, endless disaster
or misery, and adding to a state of chronic stress
(21:20):
is really not good for many of our mental and
in the end, our physical health. If this is already.
You seriously consider a news diet for a week at
least to cleanse yourself of the compulsive looking at phones,
at TVs. And then we start at a greatly diminished level.
(21:44):
You'll be amazed at how much time you'll save, but moreover,
how much emotional energy you'll gain back. Do you have
a problem I can help with? If so, email me yet?
How can I help? At nico women dot com. All
centers remain anonymous and listen every Friday too. How can
(22:06):
I help with me? Doctor Gale's Salts
These are challenging times, but you don't have to navigate
them alone. Welcome to How Can I Help? I'm Dr
Gail Saltz. I'm a clinical Associate Professor of Psychiatry at
the New York Presbyterian Hospital, a psychoanalyst, and best selling author,
and I'm here every week to answer your most pressing questions,
(00:27):
hopefully with understanding, insight, and advice. There is a lot
of bad news these days, COVID, politics, economy, climate change,
natural disasters, crime, international humanitarian crises. Today I'm answering a
(00:48):
question from a listener about the impact of watching, reading,
and listening to the news. With the constant presence of
innumerable news outlets and social outlets that you can listen to, watch, discuss, scroll,
and read the doom and gloom, you can do it
(01:10):
from morning till night. Many people get drawn into constant
consumption thinking they just want to stay abreast, but in actuality,
they're very drawn to the horrors, rather like someone might
be drawn to watching true crime shows or horror movies.
Sometimes these news items affect them directly, but more often
(01:34):
the news story doesn't affect them directly and personally in
the here and now. Sometimes People who are not directly
affected are able to watch and read these news items
and not find themselves emotionally that affected. But oftentimes people
are emotionally impacted despite the lack of day to day impact.
(01:58):
Sometimes you might not even be aware of how emotionally
impacted you are by the constant news consumption. It just
adds to a feeling of general tension, concern, feelings of
lack of safety, that there are dangers lurking, stressful situations
being around every corner, and for many, sadness, but the
(02:22):
world has so much suffering. Many of these people are
aware that the news items upset them a lot, but
they feel compelled to continue scrolling and consuming, unable to
look away and thinking about the dire situations around the world.
(02:42):
They are aware that the content creeps into their daily
thoughts intrudes on their ability to concentrate and to have
pleasurable times, because the thoughts pop up and remind them
that actually the world feels like it's on fire or
is being on sad. These thoughts tie themselves to mood
(03:04):
and anxiety levels. In general, it's possible to feel depressed
or develop overwhelming anxiety, and as though the depression or
anxiety is due to the many real and also existential
calamities of the planet Earth. Why does some people watch
(03:25):
and then blithely go on with their day while others
feel consumed with the content all day long. Our brains
are all wired a little differently. Some people are either
biologically and or due to past difficult circumstances, more predisposed
(03:46):
to a number of things. One is the predisposition to
depressive disorders and anxiety disorders. It is known that both
mood disorders and anxiety disorders run in family, and that
there is a genetic component. And if this is the
case for you, spending a lot of time in taking
(04:08):
content that is distressing or worrisome can stress you, and
chronic stress can increase the likelihood that a mood or
anxiety problem will arise. People who have had traumatic experiences
in their past, in childhood or even in adulthood are
(04:28):
often more predisposed to being triggered by distressing content, especially
content which in any way is reminiscent of the trauma
they particularly experienced, but even content that is not specific
to them. If that content engenders a similar emotional impact,
(04:49):
that may also trigger them. People who are already living
in very stressful circumstances may also have a lower threshold
for being disturbed by the news in an ongoing way.
The way mood and anxiety often work is that one
can start to have increased feelings of sadness or worrying,
(05:10):
and then actually, temporarily after that emotional state is there,
the brain grabs onto thoughts to help cognitively explain why
you were feeling that way. So, in other words, first
you're having the feeling state, and then you're registering the
thoughts that explain your feeling state. But it already happens
(05:34):
so fast it feels like you're having the thoughts first.
So it may be that you are already struggling with
increased sadness or nervousness, and then your mind says, albeit
very quickly, so quickly that consciously it seems like the
thought came from the feeling state. Why am I feeling
like this? And your answer is because there are terrible
(05:55):
forest fires in California and people are losing their homes
and anim is in the forest or dying horrible deaths.
But from your couch in New York, it's not that
this isn't terrible news it is, it's that you register it,
and it emotionally stays with you for a long time,
and it may even seem stuck in your mind on
(06:18):
an endless loop, which leads me to a group especially
affected by the news. Almost everyone thinks about something disturbing
every day, like what if I got in a car crash?
But the thought comes into their head and then it
floats out so quickly it may not even register consciously
(06:39):
at all. But some people have an obsessional style of thinking.
This could be a person with obsessive compulsive disorder, but
it could also be a person who doesn't have o
c D but still has a tendency for obsessional or
sticky thoughts. Thoughts tend to get stuck in your mind
(07:00):
and not only don't float away, but if they try
to push them away saying, oh, that's upsetting, I don't
want to think about that, and I'll try not to,
the thought actually becomes even more sticky and more front
and center in their minds. The more they think, I've
got to stop thinking about climate change, it's so upsetting
(07:22):
to me. The more they feel plagued by thoughts of
starving polar bears and feel upset sad or worried the
tenacity of their thoughts may make the thoughts seem even
more real to them, more present and pertinent, which only
serves to exacerbate the feeling state that it invokes. How
(07:47):
can I help with Dr Gail Salts will be back
after the short break. Let me turn to my listeners
question and see how can I help, Dear Doctor Saltz.
(08:07):
I love your podcast. It has made my life better
in many ways. I've been following the news on Afghanistan
and seeing what's happening there, the airport attack, Taliban murders,
and the Afghans who can't leave and will now be
living in a mostly restrictive military country, and I keep
feeling this sense of survivor's guilt. I get to enjoy
(08:31):
my freedoms and can go on living, but forty million
people won't. I don't know how to reconcile this with
daily life, in that I find myself thinking about Afghanistan
sometimes throughout the day when doing basic entertainment activities like
watching a show or scrolling through social media, and instantly
(08:54):
drift off worrying about them. What can I do to
fix this? First of all, thank you listener, for your
positive feedback. I really appreciate that there is no doubt
that numerous unthinkable atrocities happened in Afghanistan, and there are
likely to be future ones as well. Numerous people in
(09:17):
this country are disturbed by the sequence of events there
and have concerned for the futures of the people of Afghanistan.
But you are describing instantly and frequently drifting off to
worrying about them no matter what else you are doing.
It sounds as if these thoughts are intruding on your day,
(09:37):
preoccupying your thoughts and making it difficult to engage with
other thoughts, activities, and other moods. I understand why you
are using the words survivors guilt, because part of your
sadness and worry for them is guilt that you are
not them. Not actually suffering as they do is a
(10:00):
huge part of depression for many people. In fact, guilt
is one of the main feelings I ask about when
interviewing a patient to examine possible depression. People who are
experiencing depression often experience it in the form of crushing
guilt about all manner of things, both seemingly rational and irrational,
(10:26):
but survivor's guilt is a symptom by definition, usually reserved
for someone who has survived an event or illness, or
other life threatening circumstances that others or another did not survive.
It can be a soldier at war or a group
in a car crash where a survivor of a life
(10:49):
threatening disease. It often is a symptom that accompanies post
traumatic stress disorder after a traumatic event, but it doesn't
have to be a part of PTSD. It can occur
on its own. So while I would say your situation
doesn't exactly meet the definition of survivor's guilt, the concept
(11:13):
that you are experiencing feelings of guilt in the face
of a group of people going through horrendous atrocities that
you are not by luck of the fact that you
do not live in Afghanistan has to do with the
reports creating we're joining with a sense of sadness that
(11:33):
you have, and with the sadness is coming feelings of
guilt that somehow you are bad for not saving them.
Actual symptoms of survivor's guilt include, for psychological symptoms, feelings
of helplessness, flashbacks of the traumatic event, irritability, lack of motivation,
(11:56):
mood swings and angry outbursts, obsessive thoughts about the dramatic event,
and sometimes even suicidal thoughts. And physical symptoms can come
along with that too, changes an appetite, difficulty, sleeping, headaches,
nausea or stomach ache, racing heart. If you have been
one of the people on the plane out of Afghanistan
(12:19):
and now we're feeling safe, I would say that indeed
you may be suffering both PTSD and survivor's guilt. However,
what you are bringing up is how easy it is
for someone who is predisposed to depression or anxiety or
obsessional thinking to overidentify with the victims in any news story.
(12:46):
One strength of many people who have depression or an
anxiety disorder is actually they are tremendously empathic people. They're
sensitive and able to really put themselves in another person's us,
to understand and imagine where they are coming from, how
it feels to be them, and then to react with
(13:09):
wonderful compassion. This strength, however, is a downside of when
you easily empathize and imagine being with them, you can
also feel their suffering. It may be hard to erect
the appropriate boundaries to know that though you may sympathize
(13:31):
with them, you aren't them, and you are truly okay.
Even if they are not. Empathizing with all victims and
all tragedies of the world is overwhelming and it's unsustainable
and actually mentally unhealthy. It also doesn't really fix the
(13:55):
situation for the victims. Another particular issue that you're alluding
to is what's called your locus of control. Some people
are more likely to internalize blame about anything and everything.
(14:15):
When explaining events, they tend to attribute causation to their
personal characteristics rather than in cases outside forces. In a
lot of situations, this can be a good thing for
self esteem. For example, by taking credit for good outcomes,
people are able to feel better about themselves and their abilities,
(14:38):
But it can be devastating when people blame themselves for
events that are out of their control. If you tend
to see many occurrences, both good and bad, as in
your control, this can increase the likelihood that you feel
worse when bad things happen, even though they really only
(15:00):
may be completely out of your control, because you feel
nonetheless that you should be able to control them. Another
reason that you could be experiencing this high guilt includes
things like if you've had a history of trauma. Research
indicates that experiencing a trauma during your childhood increases the
(15:23):
likelihood of negative emotions following even witnessing other disturbing events.
If you have a history of depression, people who are
already depressed who experienced it in the past might be
more likely to experience guilt and anxiety following witnessing other traumas.
(15:45):
And if you have low self esteem, because people with
low self esteem may place less value on their own
well being, and when faced with surviving something that others don't,
they may be more likely to question whether they deserved
their good luck, and this can lead to high feelings
(16:07):
of guilt. Whichever of these reasons may be explaining why
you are struggling with guilt about the situation in Afghanistan,
and I would imagine for future news items of similar sorts.
Here are some things that could be helpful to you.
It's okay to allow yourself to feel sad for them.
(16:30):
It is reasonable to acknowledge when other people are hurting,
and to allow yourself to sympathize, which is different from empathizing.
In other words, I feel sorry for you is different,
then I imagine being you and therefore more fully understand
(16:52):
what it is to be you. So channel your sadness
into sympathy. Then, sometimes when you're really bothered, it is
important and good to do something positive, whether it's for
yourself or others. Take your feelings and direct them toward
(17:13):
making a positive change in the world. You could do
it vis a vis these people who are struggling in Afghanistan,
maybe looking into how you can be helpful supporting an
organization that is helping them, for example. But it really
could be about any sort of positive change in the world,
people in your community, even yourself. But the very action
(17:37):
of helping and particularly helping others can make you feel
better in this sort of circumstance, focus on the outside
factors that actually lead to this event that disturbs you.
Shift your focus onto the externals that created the situation
(17:57):
will help you to let go of some of the
feelings of personal guilt because you'll be more aware that
the cause has nothing to do with you, which is true.
So what caused this situation and Afghanistan? Well, you might
think about the history, You might think about other groups
(18:20):
involved the Taliban. You might think about basically the long war,
but things that don't have to do with you, Remember
that these feelings are very common. Experiencing guilt doesn't mean
that you're guilty of doing anything wrong. Sadness, fear, anxiety, grief,
(18:44):
and even guilt are completely normal responses to a terrible tragedy.
And while it's normal, so you don't make yourself feel
like you're having terrible pathology. It is okay to feel
happy about your own good luck while at the same
time mourning the fate of others. So remember, feeling guilt
(19:08):
doesn't mean you're guilty. If you continue to have intrusive,
upsetting thoughts, don't try to push them out, because, as
I mentioned earlier, pushing them out actually makes them stick
even more strongly, but rather try to examine how realistic
are they? Is it realistic for you to feel responsible
(19:30):
that the Afghan women will live under onerous circumstances. Try
to restructure or restate your thought to a more realistic one.
Is it sad for them? Yes, I feel sorry for them.
My lack of oppression can't change things for them, and,
(19:53):
perhaps more importantly, at the moment, decrease your triggers. Once
you have identified a topic that is especially triggering to
this type of mental response, you want to purposely try
to not have new triggers. You may need a few
weeks where you don't scroll at all, where you just
(20:16):
check in with a headline once in the morning on
your computer, and you don't go down the rabbit hole
of reading more of looking more decreasing you're getting triggered
over and over again. Will give your mind a chance
to move on from the same content and feel better.
(20:39):
I hope this was helpful. Some people are really taking
in too much news for them and their brains. You
don't need to constantly watch or read news to be informed,
and much of it is serving to emotionally taxi. Many
of us could truly benefit from limiting our news exposure.
(20:59):
I'm not talking about having no idea what's going on
in the world. I'm talking about checking in with the
top headline once a day and then being done. The
constant emotional ping of distressing stories, lurid details, endless disaster
or misery, and adding to a state of chronic stress
(21:20):
is really not good for many of our mental and
in the end, our physical health. If this is already.
You seriously consider a news diet for a week at
least to cleanse yourself of the compulsive looking at phones,
at TVs. And then we start at a greatly diminished level.
(21:44):
You'll be amazed at how much time you'll save, but moreover,
how much emotional energy you'll gain back. Do you have
a problem I can help with? If so, email me yet?
How can I help? At nico women dot com. All
centers remain anonymous and listen every Friday too. How can
(22:06):
I help with me? Doctor Gale's Salts
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