Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
We're taking you inside the mind of a man. This
is How Men Thick and I heard radio podcast. What's
going on? Everyone, I'm Peter Webber. You may know me
as the Bachelor, but I'm also a pilot and I'm
super happy to be guest hosting How Men Think. I'm
going to attempt to answer all your questions and solve
(00:22):
the fascinating question of just how men think. But first,
this is eleven questions with Peter Webber. Let's get into
it first. One, what are you known for? Tell us
about yourself? Well, I I like to think of myself
first and foremost as commercial airline palette. I fly for
(00:45):
United Airlines. It's my passion, very very blessed to be
able to do what I do. Um, I think publicly
a little bit more. I've been known for being on
the Bachelor and taking that leap of faith. UM, kind
of sharing my whole relationship life with the world. Um.
But I let's see, just come from um kind of
(01:09):
growing up. I uh kind of always been a lot
of people don't believe me when I say this. Are
they kind of find shocking. But I've always been kind
of a shy person, and UM, I just growing up
through high school and all that that was that was
kind of my personality was it was kind of quiet,
um I think, you know, going on the show, people
always ask well, how did you do that then? And
you know, I don't, you know, see it with that
(01:30):
doesn't really match for me. It was always kind of
it was an opportunity to kind of push myself. I'm
always someone that likes to, um, make myself a little uncomfortable.
I think that's a good way for um, you know,
a good way to allow us to grow as as individuals.
And you know, definitely was an experience that uh that
allowed me to do just that. Um. But yeah, I
like to think of myself now is um you know,
(01:52):
just a fun loving person. I like to always you know,
see the bright things in life. You know, it's such
a beautiful life, and you know, it's easy to kind
of get distracted sometimes, but I'm someone that likes to
focus on on all the beautiful things that we have
to be thankful for. And um, who are you in
your personal life? All right? Well, I guess I kind
of touched on that a little bit with the previous question,
(02:15):
but I am. I saw a quote from I think
it was I think it was Denzel Washington, and I
definitely related with it, and it was along the lines
of I am an introvert and I'm also an extrovert,
and I definitely have both of those qualities. I'm someone
(02:35):
that you know, I love to um, you know, be
you know, with the energy and having a good time
and taking advantage of you know, whatever asked or whatever,
you know. Part of life. I'm in at that moment
um always about a good time. Definitely can could be
described as you know, bringing a lot of energy, um,
(02:56):
you know to the party, that kind of thing. But
I also am someone that I crave my alone time.
I definitely need that. I think it's especially with work.
You know, when I'm flying, it's so nice for me
to kind of get that balance of you know, going
away on a trip for three or four days and
just allowing myself to kind of just be, you know,
(03:17):
in my own head and um and just you know,
think a lot and kind of decompressed. I think that
yin and yang, if you will, is definitely really important
in life. And that's definitely the kind of person that
I am. But um that being said, I'm always up
for that adventure. I'm always up to make the most
of it. So three shows you are binge watching? So
(03:40):
to be completely honest, I actually I'm not a big
TV watcher. Um. I I think I think I've actually
only finished three or four shows in my entire life. Um.
Recently though it's kind of relevant with recent shows. Was
that new Kevin Hart Show is kind of a limited
series true story? That was I really enjoyed that, watched that,
(04:04):
you know, start to finish, just binge the whole thing. Um.
And that's kind of for me to do because I
really don't watch too much TV. I think some of
the other shows I finished Breaking Bad, Back in the Day,
Friday Night Lights, Californication, and that is about it for me.
I'm a big sports guy, so I'll always I'll always
choose to watch a game over over TV shows. Um.
(04:27):
But that's just me. What is your favorite food? Alright?
This one is easy. It is definitely my mom's cooking.
My mom's Cuban so she makes excellent Cuban food. And
I would say specific meal is, uh usually do this
around Christmas time, but it's when she makes shown asado,
which is like kind of a pork and uh black
(04:50):
beans rice. Um. Yuka, which is just a delicious kind
of root. Um you know plantings. UM. That Cuban dish
is definitely my go to bestead at bollow Mia. It's
like a good little skirt steak too with onions, you
know vinegar that's delicious as well, So definitely Cuban food.
Tell us about your career. So yeah, I am an
(05:13):
airline pilot. I fly for United Airlines. It's always been
to my childhood dream since I was a little kid.
I grew up with my dad being a pilot for United,
he still flies, you know for us, and uh my
mom when she was a flight center for United. So
it was always in my blood and you know, definitely
took me. Wasn't the straightest route to get to the
dream of flying with United. UM, you know, went through
(05:36):
a couple of different airlines before, but UM finally made
it this past year. Um in may have one, and
uh it's amazing. I fly the seven thirty seven base
out of Newark and UM LaGuardia. Those two airports fly
a lot of domestic flying right now, but I am
going to move to a new airplane, the seven eighties
seven shortly, which will be flying all the international routes
(06:00):
doing a lot of Europe, which I'm very very excited for, um,
some Asia stuff, So it'll be a nice change. And UM,
I love what I do. UM could not be happier
And I feel very blessed to be able to say that.
What's your biggest fear in life? I'd say wasting it? Um.
I I'm someone that I always always want to make
(06:25):
the most of life. Um. You know, I think it
just is such a precious thing. And you know, time specifically,
It's sure you guys have heard before. You know, people
say that in the time is the most valuable commodity.
We all have the exact you know, in a day,
the exact same amount of time. Doesn't matter how rich
how poor you are. Everyone has the exact amount of
(06:45):
hours and what you choose to do with those hours. Um.
And so for me, just you know, broad view of
it all, my biggest stary be to waste that time.
And uh, I try to make it a point every
day to not allow myself like that's ever happened. What's
your biggest pet peeve? Biggest pet peeve is when people
(07:06):
bill out or cancel last minute. That is always something
that I I it just I can't stand um. You know,
I try, and you know, obviously everyone's human and I'm
sure I've done that, you know, plenty of times in
my life. Not saying I don't, but I would say
when people, yeah, kind of build out on plans, um,
don't stick to commitments. Which let's see what makes you
(07:28):
the most happy? What makes me the most happy? I
would say I'm happiest when I am at a point
where I am just extremely content with where I'm at,
meaning that you know, they're really there's obviously always gonna
be stress in life, and you know, day to day
(07:48):
stress and that kind of thing, but you know, it's
it's such a great feeling when you're just at a
place where everything just kind of is going well. You're
not you're not You're able to stay present very easy, um,
and you're not necessarily looking forward, you know, looking to
forward in the future. You're just enjoying the moment where
you're at, you know, acknowledging all this stuff maybe you've
(08:11):
done to get to that point and just really appreciating
it and being grateful and showing that gratitude. I think
those are the moments in life where, um, I just
I feel happiest, and I always strive to to get
to that point. Always show gratitude, and whether that's you know, career,
whether that's your your love life, whether you know, relationship
with your friends, um, whatever, it is just not allowing
(08:35):
any of the distractions that we all go We all
you know, struggle with not allowing those two overtake your
frame of mind. And that's what I'm happiest. What is
your ideal Saturday morning? My ideal Saturday morning is definitely
waking up cuddling with my best friend, my dog Trip, Um.
(09:00):
I love morning cuddles with him, and just uh, taking
it easy. Um, you know, going out. I've got a
lot of living here in New York City, got a
lot of great uh you know, breakfast diners, going out
with my best friends. We've got a group of four
of us and um, you gotta go to Spot John's
down the street, Um, grabbing breakfast with each other, catching
(09:21):
up from you know, maybe the week or and we
had a great night the night before and just you know,
rehashing it, reliving it all and uh yeah, just enjoying it,
taking it easy. Are you more of an athlete or
the arm chair quarterback? Definitely more of the athlete. I
just kind of always been that way my entire life. Um,
(09:43):
I uh, I always be don't believe obviously, actions speak
louder than words, and um yeah, I just like to
back my talk up. I guess with my actions and
UM enjoy doing it. What keeps you motivated? I think
a little bit of this goes back to kind of
(10:03):
the biggest fear in life and you know, in wasting it,
wasting our time. I think that is probably like the
biggest fire under me is um not allowing myself to
to waste any time. And UM always you know, try to,
like I said earlier, to find things to to make
(10:23):
you a little uncomfortable, because that's that's good for us,
you know, I believe, and helps keep me motivated and
always looking um for for what's next. Alright, guys, Well
that was eleven questions with me Peter Weber. Next going
to be thrown it out to you guys for some
live callins answer any relationship questions you guys may have.
(10:48):
I'll try to give you guys my best advice. But
first let's take a quick break mat you what's going on,
how's it going? Good? Good? Just chilling Hopefully I can
(11:08):
answer some questions here, give some advice. Absolutely, I'm looking
through some advice. Peter so Um So, I recently got
out of a three relationship UM. Following my breakup, I
moved to Nashville, Tennessee. I've just been working on my career.
I'm working on rediscovering myself and my independence. But I
still have a lot of unanswered questions about the breakup
(11:30):
and about our relationships. So my question for you is,
as a man who's been in a long term relationship,
can the person you're in a relationship with really give
you closure or as closure as something you ultimately give yourself.
That is a great question, and I think so many
everyone can relate to that. UM. Everyone's been there where
(11:53):
a certain relationship obviously meant so much to you in
that moment, especially it was longer term UM. And you
know me personally, I've I've struggled with that as well.
I've I've been at a point where I felt like
I didn't have that closure that I maybe hope for. UM.
(12:13):
I wasn't exactly content with where I was there UM
with that person. And I think ultimately, UM, obviously time helps,
time heals all wounds, I truly believe. But that comes
ultimately from you, and it's you taking that time to reflect,
to feel all those feelings. I think a lot of
times people try to suppress that, and especially men sometimes
(12:36):
you know, it's not the manly thing to really express
your feelings your emotions. But I think that's the healthiest
thing you can do, is really allow yourself to feel everything.
And um, don't rush it, don't push it. But I
think ultimately that closure will come from you and you'll
get to that point and you'll realize ultimately why it
didn't work or else you would have been there, you know,
still with that person, and um, that's the best way
(12:58):
to ultimately move on and be ready to get results
to that next person that you know deserves you and
you deserve them. No, I love that. Agree, that's awesome.
So yeah, all all the best. What are you doing
in Nashville. I'm a singer down here. It's a perfect
place to be. Yeah, just chase and enjoy and starting
a new adventure. So it's a great time. I'm sure.
(13:19):
I'm sure breakups and all I have a lot of
great motivation for song. So absolutely, thank you, Peter, of course,
all right. Goodbye, Hi Peter. How are you Erica? I'm good.
How are you doing good? So my question is a
kind of a double question. So, Um, I've been dating
somebody new for the last year and I just don't
(13:41):
really get along with his friends as much as I
have in past relationships. They're just kind of not my people. UM,
And my question is like, how as a girlfriend do I,
I don't know, get in with the friends. Does that
make sense, like find a way to connect in and
I don't know, like build a relationship with them when
(14:02):
we haven't been able to for the last year. Yeah,
great question. I I think for sure, you know, it
is extremely important to you know that there's maybe people
that will you know, have different trains of thought with this,
but I think that's pretty crucial to eventually established and
have a connection, you know, with the friends of your
(14:23):
significant other. Um, if you want that relationship to ultimately
succeed long term. I think you know that's it's if
you don't do that, UM, that's always going to kind
of in hip you guys from fully getting to that
that ultimate level. In my opinion, UM, you know, at
the end of the day, your friends are your significant
other is going to be confiding in you know, his
(14:45):
friends for advice and um, you know, getting you know,
just guy advice and guide talk. Um you know with
certain you know, moments of your relationship when they come up.
And so I think that's great that you're putting such
an effort to um to create that relationship and definitely
don't give up. I would say, um, you know, just
making showing you know, your person, your significant other, the
(15:05):
effort you are putting in trying to plant things, uh,
you know, fun group outings, maybe maybe some double triple
dates just group dates with maybe some of your single friends.
And I don't know if you know, if if he
had uh you know, some single friends trying to create
a fun group environment, UM that won't go on seeing
to him or his friends. They'll really appreciate that, um,
(15:26):
you know, really doing something that they really enjoy and uh,
and just putting that effort out that will just go
such a long way. And if you consistently do that, UM,
I think you know, that relationship will start to grow
and and you guys will become closer and that's ultimately
best I think. When Yeah, I like what advice the
triple date, that's really good idea. It takes the pressure off.
(15:49):
And the second half of the question is, um, like,
do guys care as much as girls care to be
friends with your significant others best friends? Like, is that
a big priority for guys like to be really close
with their significant others friends? You know? For me in
my past relationships, I yeah, I always have. I've been
(16:09):
very close with my significantly. I'm someone that I'm always
you know. I like to do a lot of trips,
a lot of fun kind of like outings, and it's
it's obviously great to have that alone time that's super necessary,
but it's so fun too when you have a big
group that you can share all those memories with. Um I, personally, yeah,
I've always made that a priority. Um So from my
from my perspective, yes, good to know. Thank you, I
(16:32):
appreciate it, of course. Yeah, take care, Hannah. What's up? Okay?
So this is kind of a funny situation. And I
was dating this guy and one of our co workers,
who knew that I was dating a different guy, would
come up to me and say, your wife material I
(16:52):
want to marry you. I'm dating another guy. He has
a girlfriend, but constantly comes up to me and says this.
So I'm just wondering what type of perspective you have
on this for someone who clearly is going through something
in his own relationship but just always says these weird
comments to me. Lets make sure I'm falling. So another
(17:14):
guy makes comments to you, but he's he's dating a guy.
No no, no, no, no, he's sorry, he's dating a
different girl. And I was dating a different guy. But
he would come up to me and be like, you're
my wife. I have this girlfriend, but you're my wife,
your wife material, And I just think that's so weird.
(17:35):
But I don't know if it's supposed I mean, it
didn't matter because I was dating a different guy, but
I wasn't sure if it's supposed to be a compliment.
It's just such a weird thing, and it's one of
any Has there ever been any like connection or any
kind of spark between the two of you at work?
I mean, there's definitely flirtation, but it's almost like to
(17:55):
get something out of me, like some comments like oh, yeah,
you're my spend. That's such a weird thing to say
to me. But definitely, I mean, yeah, a little aggressive,
especially with with him being in another relationship. I think, uh,
maybe in the workplace it allows a certain type of um,
maybe a different level of comfort to kind of come
(18:16):
out between two people. Just because you guys spend so
much time together. You it's you have a unique relationship
with each other. Um. And yeah, I don't I don't know.
I uh, I can't say I've ever done that when
I when I've been in a relationship to another girl. Um,
maybe he's fishing a little bit. Maybe he's curious to
see how you know, serious you are in your relationship.
(18:38):
Maybe there are some underlying feelings that he does have
and um, you know, I hate to say it, but
you know, for his current relationship, but he would be
willing to end that for you, I guess if if um,
he got the right vibe or feel from you. Um.
But I would say, maybe it's just a little bit
of fishing on his end and you know, trying to
be flirty and and keep that going. Um. Yeah, And
(19:02):
I think he was just probably looking for how you
responded to that. Yeah. It's definitely a weird situation too,
because in the workplace you want things to be more comfortable,
but at the same time, people cross that line that's true,
and so that that almost like makes me believe that
he would be like, he probably is pretty seriously into you,
(19:23):
because you don't do that in a workplace and kind
of make it, you know, take the chance of making
extremely awkward, um if something were not to work out.
So yeah, that leads me to believe that he probably
has some serious interest in you and he wants to
see kind of how you're going to respond. Well, also,
it's like, why would you want to be with someone
that's doing that in their current relationship? Very true, That's
(19:46):
that's a huge talent science. That's in my opinion, kind
of a red flag. Um so yeah, a couple of
trains of thought with that. But I don't know, I'm curious,
are you Are you still with your your current relationship?
It all right with your in your current relationship? Well
that's that's another story. We broke up and then got
back together. So okay, yeah, maybe some some right fishing,
(20:11):
but yeah, maybe he was picking up on that and um,
he thought he'd shoot a shot. But if you're happy,
you know, with where you're at, um, you know, don't
mess that up. Yeah, thanks of course, Yeah, all the
best to you. Thank you, what's up, Alexa? I sorry,
(20:31):
my dog is crazy. You got your pup? I got
my pups taking a nap right now. But what a cutie?
Thank you? All right, what do we have? So my
question is what do you think? Um, most guys think
if they're dating a girl that's bisexual. Interesting question. I've
(20:52):
never been asked that. UM. I would say, I think
all going to depend on the guy's level of confidence
in himself and you know, ultimately confidence in you know,
the relationship that he has with that girl. UM. Obviously
(21:14):
that's throwing some you know, that's that's some different variables
into the equation that maybe you're not traditional. But UM,
I think it's all about communication in that regard. And
if there was, um a desire maybe for some type
of like open relationship or something, then that obviously has
to be discussed and communicated and and agreed upon from
(21:34):
both sides. UM. But I think ultimately you just gotta
be truthful and honest, and you can't if that's a
part of you, that's that's you, and you can't hide that,
and um, that needs to come out and your partner
needs to you know, be able to accept that. And
if not, that's not your person um and yeah, like
I said, I think it's just communication is the absolutely
(21:56):
utmost key in that kind of situation. Hey, thank you, Yeah,
of course. Hey Danielle, I'll be doing good. Are you?
I'm good. I'm good. Nice to meet you. Yeah you too.
What's going on? Nothing. I'm in Chicago, so it's freezing
(22:18):
here today. It's like three degrees so I'm bundled up inside.
Oh wow. Yeah, I'm in New York, so you beat us.
It's a it's pretty cool here too. It's like I
think it's in the teens. Yeah, I mean it's pretty miserable.
I'm right by the lake too, so you get all
the wind and everything. Winter is officially here. Yes, that
is true, which was funny because like two weeks ago
(22:39):
it was sixty five and sunny, and I thought the
winter is gonna be really mild. It's gonna be so great.
And now I'm like, yep, now I'm booking tickets to
Miami because I need to escape. I hear you, alrighty,
what question do you have? So I was wondering what
the phrase. If he wanted to, he would It's kind
(22:59):
of different, is like, I'm only twenty three and um,
I feel like right now men are in a weird
transition phase from like coming out of college and going
into the real world and getting a job and everything.
So with that phrase, if he wanted to, he would
at my age being kind of younger. Do you think
it's an accurate statement still? And are there exceptions kind
(23:22):
of that? I do? I I think you know that
that phrases is, in my opinion, accurate regardless of what
what age you know a man is or um, you know,
what part of his life he's in. He may you know,
his that part of his life may may influence how
he acts upon it and his actions. But I think
(23:42):
ultimately um for men. You know, I have a lot
of friends that are girls. They kind of asked that
question and they're curious about why isn't this guy doing
this or why isn't he doing that. If a guy
is into you and he's feeling you, and he's not
questioning it, and there's no doubts, believe me, he will
let you know that and he will not allow any
doubt to creep in. He will not be um flaky,
(24:06):
He will not be playing games um. If he knows
how he feels about you, Ah, that's a lock, and
you're not gonna be curious. And I think, you know, unfortunately,
just you know, maybe it's some tough advice, but if
you are doubting that UM, maybe he's doubting the relationship
a little bit as well. And you know, I think
(24:26):
everyone deserves that person that that doesn't allow that doubt
to creep in with the other. UM. And so you know,
I don't think anyone should ever settle until you find
that UM. But like you said, you know, if you're
you're still you're still growing, you're still kind of you know,
maturing for sure, and UM, I get that. But I
ultimately believe that a guy will never let you, um,
(24:49):
doubt or be curious where he stands. Thank you, Yeah,
of course, stay warm? Yeah you do. Hey Caroline, how
you doing? I'm doing great? How are you doing? Very good?
Very good? You gotta pup with you? Yeah? Do you
hear her? Yeah, she's on the table right now. She's
(25:13):
so cute. I just got her like almost a year ago.
But I have a question, all right, I hopefully have
an answer. Okay, UM, what would you say your biggest
turnofs are for girls? I guess biggest turnoffs for girls.
(25:34):
I would say for me, I I'm someone that I
the old The biggest thing I value in a relationship
is trust. I nothing comes ahead of that for me,
and I think it's such a it's such a fragile
thing you kind of have to navigate, especially early in
(25:55):
the relationship, um of making a concentrated effort to established
that trust with that person. And so I would say,
you know, biggest turn offs are just confusing kind of
UM signals that kind of come out in the beginning
that makes you question that trust or um. Don't you know,
(26:17):
things that don't allow your confidence to truly grow to
the it needs to be for that relationship to really
have a good Chancey, just being straightforward, very straightforward, very honest, upfront. UM,
no one's perfect, and you know it's it's okay and
own that and embrace it. UM, but don't sacrifice that
initial that trust building aspect. Amazing. I love it for you. Alrighty,
(26:45):
We'll have a good one you too, Thank you, Lisa.
Are you doing good? How are you very good? Very good?
Thanks for coming on. Yeah, I'm I'm excited to talk
to you. Yeah, awesome. Where where we're coming from today?
(27:08):
I'm coming from St. Louis. St. Louis. All right, Um,
so my question is, what what do you think about
guys coming back into the picture after being away, like
you know, you had something with them, it fizzled out,
But now they're coming back like from you know, from
(27:29):
ghosting almost for sure. So I'm not going to say
this definitively, but for the most part, I'd be very
skeptical of that situation. And I say that because, um,
you know, I'm not saying that a second chance, second
chances can't work out ultimately in the end. Um, you know,
sometimes that does happen. I know cases where that's happened.
(27:51):
I'm sure you do. Uh, but I think a lot
of the times what brings guys back is them seeing
you a maybe have moved on you with someone else,
you really enjoy your life and in a good place. Um.
That level of human nature sometimes can can trigger guy like, shoot,
did I make a mistake here? Did I? Um? You know,
(28:15):
did I really make the right decision? Um? Like should I?
Should I give it another shot? And ultimately that's not
fair to you, you know, if if that if those
are the reasons that that guy is trying to come back.
You deserve so much better than that. Um, you know, now,
if it's a guy that truly is you know, say
it's it's his fault. You know, the relationship kind of
didn't work out, and he's you know, shows remorse and
(28:35):
really feels bad about that, and um, you can tell
you know, I think everyone kind of has that intuition
of you can tell someone's true intentions and trust those
And if that's the case, you know, I don't see
a problem giving that guy a second chance. But just
be skeptical because I think there's some you know, other
reasons that that I don't think you should, you know,
(28:56):
put up with. I think I think that's really advice. Yeah,
I'm I'm very skeptical, and so I'll just I guess
I'll just be weired. How long were you guys dating? Well,
it was never like official official, but it was like
kind of back and forth for almost a year. Okay.
And why did it ultimately end? Um, he moved away
(29:19):
for work and so you know, I thought we just
discussed we didn't want to do long distance, and um,
it just kind of you know, I just wanted to
focus on myself and he wanted to focus on himself
and now he is coming back from work, you know,
moving back here and you know, reached out and started
(29:39):
talking to me again. Well listen, I mean that kind
of right there, that situation is something that I I
would give you advice to, yeah, to dig into that
and see kind of where you guys stand. Um, you
know that makes sense, that's understandable. That's life. Life happens.
And you know, maybe this is a cool fate type
thing that's bringing you guys back together. Um, maybe you
(30:00):
guys kind of needed that that time apart to kind
of grow respectively and uh maybe this, you know, could work.
So that kind of example, I would I would say,
I give give him a chance. Okay, cool, thank you.
I think that's the advice I needed. Awesome. Yeah, I hope,
but I hope it works out for you guys. Thank you,
all right, take care alright, guys, Well that was so
(30:22):
much fun for me. I'm glad I could answer some questions.
Hopefully hopefully you guys could take something from that. I
know us men sometimes can be confusing creatures and uh,
you know, fortunate is what it is. But um, I hope,
I hope I can give you guys a different perspective. UM,
super stoked I could do this and UM, yeah, if
(30:45):
you guys want to follow me in any way, we
do have uh I do a podcast here at my
roommates Dustin Kendrick Bachelor's in the City and I just
talk about you know, our everyday life, um, living in
the city and do uh you know a lot of
a lot of bachelor recaps. Obviously got to give that
some love, UM, but we have a good time doing it.
So if you guys want to check it out, give
(31:07):
us a listen. And for other things going on, I
have UM, I have a children's book that uh I
released about a month ago, the Adventures of Pilot Pete,
and UM just kind of focuses on my first love,
Aviation and my whole story of of getting to the
point of where I've gotten, you know, with my career,
and it's meant to hopefully inspire you know, the younger
(31:28):
generation and children. So do you guys have any kiddos
out there, Um, definitely I recommend it for them. But
it's been a joy. I wish you guys nothing but
the best and much love and take care. This is
how men think an I Heart Radio London Audio production.
Listen each Thursday on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast,
(31:50):
or wherever you get your podcasts.