August 18, 2022 • 32 mins
Selling Sunset’s Romain Bonnet is here to answer all your questions...from meeting his wife, to how newlyweds can avoid the post wedding plummet, to jealousy, first fights and taking friends with benefits to the next level.
He’s got a lot to say and this episode is a must listen if you’re hoping to close escrow on your relationship.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
We're taking you inside the mind of a man. List
is how mentic and I heard radio podcast. Hi everyone,
I'm woman bone and human know me from selling Sunset
and I'm made to marry Figeral. I'm also a project
manager with the White Blood Estates and I'm happy to
be the guests on Hope Men's Things, Um, and I'm
(00:24):
going to answer all your questions so to try to
help you to understand how Men's Things. So, but first
this is the living question we remained, So let's get
into it. What are you known for? Tell us about yourself.
So I'm sure everyone knows me from selling Sunset especially
(00:45):
it's um um um the literality TV show on Netflix
about release states where I'm a project manager and my
wife is a brace figeent and and that's it. So
that's my life. So a project manager constantly or we
work a lot with your plan group and then um,
(01:09):
and that's about who are you in your personal life? So, uh,
my personal life. So I moved like now about like
six years ago um in de l A as a
chef and as a model and litly on like actually
like a couple of months after I actually stopped working
(01:30):
as a chef because that's like some issues with my
previous busses. And then that's when I start my journey
into that really states slash construction. Um. At first I
have no idea, and then I started to enjoy it
after a couple of months and then end up by
um becoming a project manager and taking over the project.
(01:54):
And then um, the more I was doing it and
the more like that, so UM in that I became
my main focus right now and then hopefully uh, let alone,
we want to start flipping us is we've married, and
if possible, even have like a spinoff and own shoe.
So that's a project UM for the true show. So
(02:19):
shows that I've been watching. Um, I have no idea.
Huh oh yeah, nachos. We did watch Selling Sunset and
(02:43):
what UM I like, Uh, it's not a shoe, but
it's a movie actually and that came on not long ago.
It's a Dean former and also the one we've um
Jamie Foxx so I can't remember the name, but it's
a good one. UM. What is your favorite food? So,
(03:07):
my favorite food is Italian food, So I'm a big
fan of pasta, pizza and meat also but yes, that's uh,
that's my favorite food. Definitely tell us about your career
so by Mica. Yeah, like I said previously, UM, I
(03:29):
was a chef almost um ten years and helped me
to travel all around the world. UM. And then um
clearly on UM, I was starting to get into modeling
when I was living in Australia and before I came here,
and then um, that's when um, I actually stop working
(03:52):
as a chef to become a project manager and then
get more into a construction and real estate and and
you also as a as working on tvrself. So uh,
that's about it. What is your biggest fear in life?
(04:13):
So my biggest fear in life, I wouldn't say that
it's feling because feeling, it's learning and that's what I
think would become better. And you know, I learn, um
how to do things better. But I just keep trying
to get better at what we do as uh not
(04:38):
as fast as possible because this is a process. But
I'm always I'm always worry uh that I don't make
it in time, and uh, you know, always I think
I'm trying to push myself so much because I know
that how much I am capable of doing. And that's
what I think makes me uh worriobut like not being
(05:03):
able to to get to where I want to be
in uh in the time that I'm setting. Basically, what
is your biggest pective? Um? Seriously don't really know. I've
been asking that question not to don't go actually and
I couldn't say it. So I still need to figure out.
I don't know if I have one. I just need
(05:25):
to figure to think about it. What makes you the
most happy? Uh? I would say my wife, happy wife,
happy life. Now that's too mean. Uh happy? Um, independent
many ways that I get happy. But I'm happy at
(05:46):
work when I you know, when I finished something and
I'm proud of it. So um, But what makes me
most happy? It's like, you know, enjoying your my life
with my wife and you know, spending time to give
you most likely what is your ideal surturday morning? Uh?
(06:07):
I would say my ideas Saturday the morning. It's actually
like to go to the gym on the morning, early morning.
And then I would say after go and get breakfast
with my wife and then um and then maybe uh yeah,
go run through my wife of something. Are you more
of an autlet of hamp chairs? Quarterback? I will say
(06:34):
more of an athlete. I just love sports and fitness
and stuff like that, so definitely more of an athlete.
So what kids you put motive? Um, I would say
it's my goals, um I Um, I'm lucky. I also
have to say that I have like so many like
(06:54):
successful people around me that keeps me, you know, um
motivated and and you know, my goals keeps me motivated.
But to see that those people around me helps me
and gives me even more the ambitious and and and
the will that you know I can't get it and
(07:15):
I will and it just like keeps me going, you know,
to get there. So that's the leven question with me, Romaine,
and um, we're gonna take a quick break and come back.
(07:38):
So welcome back to home and things, and um let's
get into with some life calls. Hi Ashley's Romaine, how
are you? Hi? I'm good, How are you good? Thank you?
So what's your question? All right? So I've recently moved
in with my boyfriend of a year and there are
some things that I'm like having a hard time getting
used to. So like he says comments to me just
(08:02):
here and there, and like I know he doesn't intend
them to be disrespectful, but they are. I think it's
because like we aren't just like used to living to
being around with each other like seven you know, but
like I don't know, sometimes those comments make me worry
that I've made a huge mistake moving in with him,
and like I don't know, I question that is love
(08:23):
enough type of thing? You know? Yeah, well I would say,
I mean if I was you personally, I mean, I
guess the best um my advice would be too, like
almost have a sit down with him, like you know,
explain to to him or you feel because sometimes the
only things is like I think in a couple, um
(08:46):
people don't understand or don't realize how much certain things
affect each other. Which maybe for him it doesn't doesn't
take it seriously or doesn't see like who you know,
disrespectful it is you know for you and don't think
he hurts you or anything like that and a and
just maybe the first step will be like to actually
(09:07):
sit down with him, have a talk and and make
him realize that actually it does bother you and that
you you would like him to stop doing those comments
or like you know this type of things and then
you know, um, see if like things change, you know,
because at that point you know that you know it
would be aware of it, and that you know, if
(09:29):
he's still doing it, then obviously there won be a
different issues. Okay, so just like lay it all out
there and then see if those are his true colors
or just like mussations. I think almost like for me,
like the in relationship, you need to be able to
talk like you know anything you have, like when something
when you know it's like when you love something, you
(09:51):
not let the person know, right. I feel like it
should be the same for everything. So if something bother
you or if you don't like something, just be open
and like just say the way it is. That way
people knows about it, like you know, there's not like
surprised like oh but you didn't tell me or anything
like that. So if that person is still doing it
even though you told him that you know, it does
(10:15):
actually bother you and it hurts you when you don't
you don't like it, then obviously then that's an other issues.
But you know, at least people you know knows they
know right away. Okay, thank you, thank you so much.
I think that's a Yeah, that's great advice. I try
and I guess I guess we're sticking to it or
(10:36):
I'll be looking for a new place to with. I
hope it's just gonna be like, you know, babbing him.
That didn't realize it, but that way, I mean, it's
the best way to you know, when you're open with
someone there, you need to be able to talk like
freely and and let the people know like all you
feeling and good or bad. You know, it's not always
(10:58):
in a good way, but he's you know, everyone knows. Awesome.
Thank you so much. I appreciate it. You're welcome. Hey,
call to men. How are you hi? I'm okay, How
are you good? What's your question? I'm gonna try to
(11:19):
help you. Thank you. Um. So, I'm currently single, um,
but I have a friends with benefits man in my
life right now. Um. Well, recently he's told me that
he loved me. But I'm so confused if he loves
me as a friend or as a girlfriend. It's literally
(11:43):
I mean, I've heard a lot of the story, and
you know, obviously we all have a past, but I
think that's that's what happened most of the time. Uh,
Like friend foods benefits only war for so long it's
really right when I actually people can keep it that
way because I feel like eventually someone starts feeling, start
having feeling for each other. So my guests will be
(12:07):
that he actually likes you more than just a friendly
benefits and that he actually I hope that, you know,
maybe something more could happen with you. Yeah, I'm just
not sure how I feel now because I'm not sure
if I have feelings for him, and I just don't
know how to bring it up to him. The only
(12:29):
thing is like this is, um, it's gonna be you
that's gonna have to figure it out, because I mean,
you can obviously have a conversation with him and everything.
But the problem is like usually it's often that in
those situations only one of the person start to a
feeling and then I mean it does happen sometimes that
(12:50):
you know, people get into of ship and everything. But um,
the problem is, like you gonna need to figure this
out because then you know that at that point it's
almost for him. Every single time you're gonna see him,
it's not going to be used a friend with benefits.
It's gonna want more and more and more, you know
what I mean. Yeah, that makes sense. Thank you, Thank
(13:13):
You're welcome. Hi, it's domain. How are you good? How
are you doing good? I'm good? Thank you. What's your question? Yeah?
So I just started dating a guy and I really
like him, but I see who he is friends with
on Instagram and there are a lot of Instagram model
(13:35):
girls who he hangs out with. And it's mostly because
his sisters are very pretty as well and hang out
with that kind of crowd. And I hate to admit it,
but it makes me feel insecure because I am not
that type and I don't portray myself that way on
social media. Is this is the thought that I should
just like get out of my head because he was
choosing to date me rather than them or I don't know,
(13:59):
really strike me. Obviously there's some truth in it. Yes,
I think you should like also like be confident in
yourself because obviously he's setting you, not them, you know
what I mean. You know, if he didn't want to
date you, then obviously would I've got Jackie. So but
also what's important it's for him to make sure that
(14:21):
you respect you. So yes, you can hang up with
like anyone he wants or models or Instagram with it
or whatever. It is, but as long as he show
you respect and and you know it's important for him
to you know, show you that you don't need to
worry about it. Yes, you know he's getting you, but
you know he needs to also you know, makes you
feel comfortable, and that that would be my best advice
(14:46):
from him to do to you. Okay, thank you very much,
of course I n in it. Men, who are you?
Hire you? I'm good? Thank you? How can I help you? Yeah? So, um,
I'm a newly wed a couple of months actually, thank you. Um.
(15:13):
But honestly, lately, I feel like my husband and I
that's what weird to say. But it's great, but very
had any time together. So he just started a new job,
um as an engineer as well. Um, but it's taking
up a lot of his time, and um, you know
(15:36):
he's putting an extra hours. We both are actually because
we're trying to save to buy a house together. Um.
And so I know he's putting in the overtime for
us and for that. UM, but I just feel like
he's spending too much time away from me, and so
I'm just like trying to figure out how I can
(15:57):
bring that up to him and how I can bring
up that we need you know, more us time and
this new bag. I completely actually understand your situation because
but we we live in this situation. We've me and
my wife actually you know constantly, so we just walk
so much constantly, both of us that we don't see
(16:19):
it was that we barely see it to all like
every day like just literally like an hour or two,
not even because I do baterly because we have super early,
are come home late and she's there because she has
clients overseas. So um, what I would bring it to
him is that you know, you're super grateful that you
know obviously is doing this for you guys, because it's
(16:41):
amazing that he's trying to save you know, and work more.
But what alsoy it needs to be careful is that
you don't want to to do more something to take
away from you know, your couple. So do more, like
you know, work more to do something you know as
a buying house, but take away or so from you
(17:03):
as you as a couple. So what personally we do
as we don't see each other that often, we're trying
to take like every like every two or three weeks,
like try to just take like the weekend like two
days or like even sometimes we live on the Saturday
morning and come back on Sunday night. Just like go
(17:24):
and spend two day even sometimes you can just be
like an hour away or like an hour and like
super close from where you guys live around aware, but
you know, and just go spend the day like a
day and a half two days with him, and then
as he works the best, like it resets everything and
we just enjoyed and you enjoy so much more the
time even though it's short with that person, because it's
(17:45):
not that often that it happens, so you enjoy so
much more. And then that way, it keeps you go,
guys going, because you know that you know you still
have those you still can make that little you know,
um that effort like to spend time with your partner
because it's important to keep that in a relation ship,
you know, right, and to like to continue to date
(18:08):
your husband exactly like yeah, and then if possible, Like
I don't know how hard it is. It's we're always
trying to do we we do it sometimes, but it
has but like maybe you know, try to do at
least like try to try to say, like let's do
like one day pay a week or you know, at
least we're going to date for one one day a
(18:30):
week and then every three weeks, let's do like a weekend,
you know, maybe do that type, like try to do
something like you know that one day a week, you know.
I think everyone can try to figure out like one
day a week to do just a date like for
a couple of hours, and then once ever we like
oh once a month, like you know what you do
like a weekend somewhere for like two days. That way,
(18:52):
I think everyone can make this work, you know. And
and uh any died you know, since we're doing is
my wife did help us a lot, so I'm sure
we'd help you guys a lot. Yeah, okay, thank you,
just carving out some time. Yeah, great, thank you so much.
You're welcome. I hope it's gonna it's gonna work. He
(19:14):
works for us, so yeah, I hope finger cous but yeah,
it's Romain. Who are you? I'm good? How are you?
I'm good? Thank you? Okay, So my question is a
little backstory. Um So, I've been with my boyfriend for
about five months and we just had our first fight
(19:35):
and it just kind of seems like our communicationous. Our
communication style is kind of different when it comes to
having tough conversations about our feelings, and it just seems
like we don't match up. And I'm struggling because any
time I do bring up my feelings, I feel I
just kind of feel dismissed. And we get along great otherwise,
but in those moments, it just I just feel really
(19:56):
discouraged and bumps me out, And I don't know what
to do because I feel like I'm for him, but
just wish we can change are I don't know fighting style.
Do you think there's a chance for change working exactly? What? Exactly? Uh,
it's like the way when you bring up your feeling
that he is writing bad to like back to it,
(20:18):
he just he like, like, so my our fight was
kind of seemed like he was flirting with a girl
at a bar, and like I totally owned that I
was cheated out of my last relationships, so I know
that like I have that that I have that resentment
or of that fearum, but he just kind of brushed
it up like it was nothing. I was just being
friendly and like anytime I kind of bring up my feelings,
it's just he kind of it seems like he kind
(20:41):
of shuts down a little bit and doesn't really know
how to deal with it, so he just kind of
dismisses it. Yeah, well, after yes, it's good to talk
about the past, but also you know, it's not because
you've been honest about your past that he has to
you know, put a stickare on you and seeing like, oh,
but you did that or whatever. So but what's important
it's like, you know, whenever it's like you maybe explained
(21:04):
to him in a way that you know, you you're
trying to let him know, but you're feeling before you know,
it gets to a point that you get hurt. And
then you know because obviously if that was this case
and he was actually coming to you and then you know,
trying to bring his feeling that you know, he actually
didn't like the way you where with someone or whatever,
(21:25):
you know, uh, and actually didn't care and you know
tell him like basically that nothing was happening. Uh, maybe
maybe trying to find a way to make him like
take be in your position and to h to have
men understand that you know you would most likely would
(21:45):
like you to you know, listen to him. And then
if there's something that actually did bothn't him that you
were doing that. I'm sure he would love you to
be here to listen and to hopefully, you know, be
able to change that. So it goes both when or
essentially it's not only one way. I feel like the
importent for a person that to be here and to listen,
because otherwise if it only goes one way, then there's
(22:08):
no point. It's not gonna go anywhere obviously, right, So
maybe like the next time that there's something like this,
maybe approach it like maybe first could you imagine yourself
in my position and like go that way with it? Yes,
but if I was you actually don't wait for the
next time, because usually that's the poem. It's like I'm
not saying, don't talk to about it like right now,
(22:30):
right now because it might be a little fresh, but
don't wait for it to happen like maybe you start
to bring it up a little bit before. So it's
one that about it because you know if you wait
for like the moment, it's gonna either beyond the differensive
and then it's not gonna try to listen. I was
gonna say that you just think that because of this happened.
But if we actually when nothing happened, and you said,
(22:51):
like you know what I was thinking, like, you know,
just I would like to be able to express more
my feeling and stuff like that, then you know, most
likely it will be like more willing to listen at
that point because he knows nothing is happening, so it's
not like you know, anything bad, and maybe it will
be more you know, you know, willing to listen and
then understand even better. Okay, yeah that makes sense. Yeah,
(23:14):
so do it more like in a neutral time, not
necessarily when yeah, yeah, exactly, and people maybe you know,
if you feel like and then yeah, I try to
bring those feeling actually at that point you know, like
you know, you know it those was on me if
you know you do this or you do that, you know,
and let me know and ask him also if these
things that was on him. That way you can understand us.
(23:37):
So at your point and you know, to understand you
maybe a little bit better on you know, on the poll,
on what you like, what you're gonna like, and then
you know both ways. Okay, that makes sense. Thank you.
I will take your advice. He's gonna help, all right.
Thank you so much, thank you. All right, So that's
(23:58):
it for our colors. We're gonna take a quick break
and come back. Okay, So welcome back to home and Springs.
Um and here is some qu and a with me.
So the first one, Romane, A lot of people knew
(24:21):
you as a husband of Mary figure as fund sellings
and said, how did you meet? So we made so
when I came to work in the U s she um,
she was when we're a friend of m the person
I was coming to work for. So we're talking for
about like six months mores. And then when I moved
to the US, then obviously she was starting to show
(24:43):
me right, So obviously I got I was super attracted
to her directly. Um. So actually that's the second question,
what attracted you to her? So there's many things like
she's um an accomplition, but she's like, um uh such
a hard worker, she's a smart um and super sweet
(25:07):
or so she's just such a big hug and I
love the fact that you know she has those two
mud like you know, she can be like super funny
and and uh, you know, a friend and everything. And
then on the other side, like when she has to work,
like she's the most like focus and you know, determinated.
So third question, who made the first move? Did you?
(25:31):
Did you ask her out? So yes, actually did so
after a couple days actually working. I mean when I
met her, I did actually ask her out, so I
think it was like four days afterwards. And uh, and
I didn't made the first move. I was grabbing your legs,
I think, and grab her hand and then let on
(25:53):
when we are we went out, actually kissed her for
the first time and the rest is history. Uh. The
fourth one, what's the best part of being made into
a strong and accomplished woman? Um, the best part of it.
I mean what I love is that I know that
(26:14):
I can always scane on her. Um. We both like
you know as um we both the color of each
other like, and we love that you know, we're such
a hard worker, both of us, so uh we uh
we are admire this from from each other that you know,
uh like working so much and being having so many
(26:38):
goals and stuff like that. So that's what I love
the most about her, Like she's like such a care Okay.
The fifth one may as a life in l A
for many years before you moved where it had to
fit into our life at first, so um, well, obviously
(27:00):
when I moved with it, I didn't have any one,
so she was super nice and actually made me meet
her friends and luckily for me, we got like we
clicked with every one of her friends actually, and Jason
bread like became like two of my brother and then
(27:20):
where the where we start training, we're like one of
the things. So I got lucky. But like, yeah, we
I love for a friend and so um fortunately for me,
now it wasn't that hard. After it's a lifestyle that
you have to, you know, go for it. But you know,
when I moved here, um, I knew that's what I wanted.
So no, actually for me, it didn't it wasn't that hard.
(27:45):
What is the one thing you and may love to
do together? What we love to do together the most?
It's traveling, especially in Italy. That's a favorite country, I
mean the favorite places. We of love Italian food and
we just love Italian so the people or the food
(28:06):
and everything, so but not only Italy, we just love traveling.
That's alf A waid. Things like discovered the world together
in different countries and people's and that's off things um
into some ding relations questions. Okay, so who is dealing
different in friends than in the US. Um, that's a
(28:32):
good question. I don't know. I mean I feel like
I don't know if it's that different. I mean dating
is dating after each Yeah maybe the different culture it's
a little bit different, you know, France and the US.
But after OTN and that it's like we're talking about
the man and a woman no matter where it is
(28:53):
you know in the world that it's like you have
to adapt yourself to each other and then you know,
make some sacrifice and then, uh, you know, if you
love the person and you want to make it walk.
I feel like, no matter where you are in the world,
you have to do it. So I don't know if
it's that much difference between friends and us. But yeah, okay,
(29:19):
so as someone who is younger than your spouse, those
age really matter in the restaurantship for us, not at all. Actually, UM,
I mean I don't think so personally, and I don't
think my wife hither. Um. I think she keeps like
she always said, I'm I'm an old soul. And uh,
(29:42):
I just think that you know, if you love the person,
you treat the person right and everything. Um. As the idea,
it doesn't really matter, like you know, it's more, but
like what you treat teach us her and the respect
and then you know how much you care and you
know the attention that you give tweature, that's what's matter
(30:05):
for me. So no, it doesn't matter from me. So
what's your best advice for an happy and healthy marriage?
My best advice is too um. For us, what was
is spend time together, open and be able to talk
(30:28):
and um. Yeah, spending time together and then try to
do activity together like us for example, what we love
the most and we always reconnect so much more, it's
when we travel and spend time together. So I think
it's spending time together and m And obviously you know
(30:51):
when you love each other and do you know, keep
showing that person that you love her or love him,
you know. And the last one, do you think it's
important that a couple has separate interests or those everything together? Uh? No,
I think it's good to have like separate interests. Um.
(31:12):
I mean it's just because no matter how much you
love the person, it's good to have like your little
time and you know with your friends stuff like that,
Like you know, I love to go to the gym.
She does like different like kind of exercise. But I
love to have my time with my boys and then
just go and you know, it's my it's my time.
And I think I think it's good for in its
(31:32):
relstionship to have your whole little time you know sometimes
and then uh and then not everything you know, not
everyone can love. It's everything like all the same things. Sorry,
so yeah, I know, I think you know. I mean,
if you can obviously do a lot of things together,
but it's good or so to have like some different player,
(31:56):
you know baself. All right, So thanks everybody. You can
follow me on Instagram do you remember Bonnet and thank
you again fathering me on the Home men Sphinx. This
is how men think. An I Heart Radio London audio
production listen each Thursday on the iHeart Radio app, Apple
(32:16):
Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
We're taking you inside the mind of a man. List
is how mentic and I heard radio podcast. Hi everyone,
I'm woman bone and human know me from selling Sunset
and I'm made to marry Figeral. I'm also a project
manager with the White Blood Estates and I'm happy to
be the guests on Hope Men's Things, Um, and I'm
(00:24):
going to answer all your questions so to try to
help you to understand how Men's Things. So, but first
this is the living question we remained, So let's get
into it. What are you known for? Tell us about yourself.
So I'm sure everyone knows me from selling Sunset especially
(00:45):
it's um um um the literality TV show on Netflix
about release states where I'm a project manager and my
wife is a brace figeent and and that's it. So
that's my life. So a project manager constantly or we
work a lot with your plan group and then um,
(01:09):
and that's about who are you in your personal life? So, uh,
my personal life. So I moved like now about like
six years ago um in de l A as a
chef and as a model and litly on like actually
like a couple of months after I actually stopped working
(01:30):
as a chef because that's like some issues with my
previous busses. And then that's when I start my journey
into that really states slash construction. Um. At first I
have no idea, and then I started to enjoy it
after a couple of months and then end up by
um becoming a project manager and taking over the project.
(01:54):
And then um, the more I was doing it and
the more like that, so UM in that I became
my main focus right now and then hopefully uh, let alone,
we want to start flipping us is we've married, and
if possible, even have like a spinoff and own shoe.
So that's a project UM for the true show. So
(02:19):
shows that I've been watching. Um, I have no idea.
Huh oh yeah, nachos. We did watch Selling Sunset and
(02:43):
what UM I like, Uh, it's not a shoe, but
it's a movie actually and that came on not long ago.
It's a Dean former and also the one we've um
Jamie Foxx so I can't remember the name, but it's
a good one. UM. What is your favorite food? So,
(03:07):
my favorite food is Italian food, So I'm a big
fan of pasta, pizza and meat also but yes, that's uh,
that's my favorite food. Definitely tell us about your career
so by Mica. Yeah, like I said previously, UM, I
(03:29):
was a chef almost um ten years and helped me
to travel all around the world. UM. And then um
clearly on UM, I was starting to get into modeling
when I was living in Australia and before I came here,
and then um, that's when um, I actually stop working
(03:52):
as a chef to become a project manager and then
get more into a construction and real estate and and
you also as a as working on tvrself. So uh,
that's about it. What is your biggest fear in life?
(04:13):
So my biggest fear in life, I wouldn't say that
it's feling because feeling, it's learning and that's what I
think would become better. And you know, I learn, um
how to do things better. But I just keep trying
to get better at what we do as uh not
(04:38):
as fast as possible because this is a process. But
I'm always I'm always worry uh that I don't make
it in time, and uh, you know, always I think
I'm trying to push myself so much because I know
that how much I am capable of doing. And that's
what I think makes me uh worriobut like not being
(05:03):
able to to get to where I want to be
in uh in the time that I'm setting. Basically, what
is your biggest pective? Um? Seriously don't really know. I've
been asking that question not to don't go actually and
I couldn't say it. So I still need to figure out.
I don't know if I have one. I just need
(05:25):
to figure to think about it. What makes you the
most happy? Uh? I would say my wife, happy wife,
happy life. Now that's too mean. Uh happy? Um, independent
many ways that I get happy. But I'm happy at
(05:46):
work when I you know, when I finished something and
I'm proud of it. So um, But what makes me
most happy? It's like, you know, enjoying your my life
with my wife and you know, spending time to give
you most likely what is your ideal surturday morning? Uh?
(06:07):
I would say my ideas Saturday the morning. It's actually
like to go to the gym on the morning, early morning.
And then I would say after go and get breakfast
with my wife and then um and then maybe uh yeah,
go run through my wife of something. Are you more
of an autlet of hamp chairs? Quarterback? I will say
(06:34):
more of an athlete. I just love sports and fitness
and stuff like that, so definitely more of an athlete.
So what kids you put motive? Um, I would say
it's my goals, um I Um, I'm lucky. I also
have to say that I have like so many like
(06:54):
successful people around me that keeps me, you know, um
motivated and and you know, my goals keeps me motivated.
But to see that those people around me helps me
and gives me even more the ambitious and and and
the will that you know I can't get it and
(07:15):
I will and it just like keeps me going, you know,
to get there. So that's the leven question with me, Romaine,
and um, we're gonna take a quick break and come back.
(07:38):
So welcome back to home and things, and um let's
get into with some life calls. Hi Ashley's Romaine, how
are you? Hi? I'm good, How are you good? Thank you?
So what's your question? All right? So I've recently moved
in with my boyfriend of a year and there are
some things that I'm like having a hard time getting
used to. So like he says comments to me just
(08:02):
here and there, and like I know he doesn't intend
them to be disrespectful, but they are. I think it's
because like we aren't just like used to living to
being around with each other like seven you know, but
like I don't know, sometimes those comments make me worry
that I've made a huge mistake moving in with him,
and like I don't know, I question that is love
(08:23):
enough type of thing? You know? Yeah, well I would say,
I mean if I was you personally, I mean, I
guess the best um my advice would be too, like
almost have a sit down with him, like you know,
explain to to him or you feel because sometimes the
only things is like I think in a couple, um
(08:46):
people don't understand or don't realize how much certain things
affect each other. Which maybe for him it doesn't doesn't
take it seriously or doesn't see like who you know,
disrespectful it is you know for you and don't think
he hurts you or anything like that and a and
just maybe the first step will be like to actually
(09:07):
sit down with him, have a talk and and make
him realize that actually it does bother you and that
you you would like him to stop doing those comments
or like you know this type of things and then
you know, um, see if like things change, you know,
because at that point you know that you know it
would be aware of it, and that you know, if
(09:29):
he's still doing it, then obviously there won be a
different issues. Okay, so just like lay it all out
there and then see if those are his true colors
or just like mussations. I think almost like for me,
like the in relationship, you need to be able to
talk like you know anything you have, like when something
when you know it's like when you love something, you
(09:51):
not let the person know, right. I feel like it
should be the same for everything. So if something bother
you or if you don't like something, just be open
and like just say the way it is. That way
people knows about it, like you know, there's not like
surprised like oh but you didn't tell me or anything
like that. So if that person is still doing it
even though you told him that you know, it does
(10:15):
actually bother you and it hurts you when you don't
you don't like it, then obviously then that's an other issues.
But you know, at least people you know knows they
know right away. Okay, thank you, thank you so much.
I think that's a Yeah, that's great advice. I try
and I guess I guess we're sticking to it or
(10:36):
I'll be looking for a new place to with. I
hope it's just gonna be like, you know, babbing him.
That didn't realize it, but that way, I mean, it's
the best way to you know, when you're open with
someone there, you need to be able to talk like
freely and and let the people know like all you
feeling and good or bad. You know, it's not always
(10:58):
in a good way, but he's you know, everyone knows. Awesome.
Thank you so much. I appreciate it. You're welcome. Hey,
call to men. How are you hi? I'm okay, How
are you good? What's your question? I'm gonna try to
(11:19):
help you. Thank you. Um. So, I'm currently single, um,
but I have a friends with benefits man in my
life right now. Um. Well, recently he's told me that
he loved me. But I'm so confused if he loves
me as a friend or as a girlfriend. It's literally
(11:43):
I mean, I've heard a lot of the story, and
you know, obviously we all have a past, but I
think that's that's what happened most of the time. Uh,
Like friend foods benefits only war for so long it's
really right when I actually people can keep it that
way because I feel like eventually someone starts feeling, start
having feeling for each other. So my guests will be
(12:07):
that he actually likes you more than just a friendly
benefits and that he actually I hope that, you know,
maybe something more could happen with you. Yeah, I'm just
not sure how I feel now because I'm not sure
if I have feelings for him, and I just don't
know how to bring it up to him. The only
(12:29):
thing is like this is, um, it's gonna be you
that's gonna have to figure it out, because I mean,
you can obviously have a conversation with him and everything.
But the problem is like usually it's often that in
those situations only one of the person start to a
feeling and then I mean it does happen sometimes that
(12:50):
you know, people get into of ship and everything. But um,
the problem is, like you gonna need to figure this
out because then you know that at that point it's
almost for him. Every single time you're gonna see him,
it's not going to be used a friend with benefits.
It's gonna want more and more and more, you know
what I mean. Yeah, that makes sense. Thank you, Thank
(13:13):
You're welcome. Hi, it's domain. How are you good? How
are you doing good? I'm good? Thank you. What's your question? Yeah?
So I just started dating a guy and I really
like him, but I see who he is friends with
on Instagram and there are a lot of Instagram model
(13:35):
girls who he hangs out with. And it's mostly because
his sisters are very pretty as well and hang out
with that kind of crowd. And I hate to admit it,
but it makes me feel insecure because I am not
that type and I don't portray myself that way on
social media. Is this is the thought that I should
just like get out of my head because he was
choosing to date me rather than them or I don't know,
(13:59):
really strike me. Obviously there's some truth in it. Yes,
I think you should like also like be confident in
yourself because obviously he's setting you, not them, you know
what I mean. You know, if he didn't want to
date you, then obviously would I've got Jackie. So but
also what's important it's for him to make sure that
(14:21):
you respect you. So yes, you can hang up with
like anyone he wants or models or Instagram with it
or whatever. It is, but as long as he show
you respect and and you know it's important for him
to you know, show you that you don't need to
worry about it. Yes, you know he's getting you, but
you know he needs to also you know, makes you
feel comfortable, and that that would be my best advice
(14:46):
from him to do to you. Okay, thank you very much,
of course I n in it. Men, who are you?
Hire you? I'm good? Thank you? How can I help you? Yeah? So, um,
I'm a newly wed a couple of months actually, thank you. Um.
(15:13):
But honestly, lately, I feel like my husband and I
that's what weird to say. But it's great, but very
had any time together. So he just started a new job,
um as an engineer as well. Um, but it's taking
up a lot of his time, and um, you know
(15:36):
he's putting an extra hours. We both are actually because
we're trying to save to buy a house together. Um.
And so I know he's putting in the overtime for
us and for that. UM, but I just feel like
he's spending too much time away from me, and so
I'm just like trying to figure out how I can
(15:57):
bring that up to him and how I can bring
up that we need you know, more us time and
this new bag. I completely actually understand your situation because
but we we live in this situation. We've me and
my wife actually you know constantly, so we just walk
so much constantly, both of us that we don't see
(16:19):
it was that we barely see it to all like
every day like just literally like an hour or two,
not even because I do baterly because we have super early,
are come home late and she's there because she has
clients overseas. So um, what I would bring it to
him is that you know, you're super grateful that you
know obviously is doing this for you guys, because it's
(16:41):
amazing that he's trying to save you know, and work more.
But what alsoy it needs to be careful is that
you don't want to to do more something to take
away from you know, your couple. So do more, like
you know, work more to do something you know as
a buying house, but take away or so from you
(17:03):
as you as a couple. So what personally we do
as we don't see each other that often, we're trying
to take like every like every two or three weeks,
like try to just take like the weekend like two
days or like even sometimes we live on the Saturday
morning and come back on Sunday night. Just like go
(17:24):
and spend two day even sometimes you can just be
like an hour away or like an hour and like
super close from where you guys live around aware, but
you know, and just go spend the day like a
day and a half two days with him, and then
as he works the best, like it resets everything and
we just enjoyed and you enjoy so much more the
time even though it's short with that person, because it's
(17:45):
not that often that it happens, so you enjoy so
much more. And then that way, it keeps you go,
guys going, because you know that you know you still
have those you still can make that little you know,
um that effort like to spend time with your partner
because it's important to keep that in a relation ship,
you know, right, and to like to continue to date
(18:08):
your husband exactly like yeah, and then if possible, Like
I don't know how hard it is. It's we're always
trying to do we we do it sometimes, but it
has but like maybe you know, try to do at
least like try to try to say, like let's do
like one day pay a week or you know, at
least we're going to date for one one day a
(18:30):
week and then every three weeks, let's do like a weekend,
you know, maybe do that type, like try to do
something like you know that one day a week, you know.
I think everyone can try to figure out like one
day a week to do just a date like for
a couple of hours, and then once ever we like
oh once a month, like you know what you do
like a weekend somewhere for like two days. That way,
(18:52):
I think everyone can make this work, you know. And
and uh any died you know, since we're doing is
my wife did help us a lot, so I'm sure
we'd help you guys a lot. Yeah, okay, thank you,
just carving out some time. Yeah, great, thank you so much.
You're welcome. I hope it's gonna it's gonna work. He
(19:14):
works for us, so yeah, I hope finger cous but yeah,
it's Romain. Who are you? I'm good? How are you?
I'm good? Thank you? Okay, So my question is a
little backstory. Um So, I've been with my boyfriend for
about five months and we just had our first fight
(19:35):
and it just kind of seems like our communicationous. Our
communication style is kind of different when it comes to
having tough conversations about our feelings, and it just seems
like we don't match up. And I'm struggling because any
time I do bring up my feelings, I feel I
just kind of feel dismissed. And we get along great otherwise,
but in those moments, it just I just feel really
(19:56):
discouraged and bumps me out, And I don't know what
to do because I feel like I'm for him, but
just wish we can change are I don't know fighting style.
Do you think there's a chance for change working exactly? What? Exactly? Uh,
it's like the way when you bring up your feeling
that he is writing bad to like back to it,
(20:18):
he just he like, like, so my our fight was
kind of seemed like he was flirting with a girl
at a bar, and like I totally owned that I
was cheated out of my last relationships, so I know
that like I have that that I have that resentment
or of that fearum, but he just kind of brushed
it up like it was nothing. I was just being
friendly and like anytime I kind of bring up my feelings,
it's just he kind of it seems like he kind
(20:41):
of shuts down a little bit and doesn't really know
how to deal with it, so he just kind of
dismisses it. Yeah, well, after yes, it's good to talk
about the past, but also you know, it's not because
you've been honest about your past that he has to
you know, put a stickare on you and seeing like, oh,
but you did that or whatever. So but what's important
it's like, you know, whenever it's like you maybe explained
(21:04):
to him in a way that you know, you you're
trying to let him know, but you're feeling before you know,
it gets to a point that you get hurt. And
then you know because obviously if that was this case
and he was actually coming to you and then you know,
trying to bring his feeling that you know, he actually
didn't like the way you where with someone or whatever,
(21:25):
you know, uh, and actually didn't care and you know
tell him like basically that nothing was happening. Uh, maybe
maybe trying to find a way to make him like
take be in your position and to h to have
men understand that you know you would most likely would
(21:45):
like you to you know, listen to him. And then
if there's something that actually did bothn't him that you
were doing that. I'm sure he would love you to
be here to listen and to hopefully, you know, be
able to change that. So it goes both when or
essentially it's not only one way. I feel like the
importent for a person that to be here and to listen,
because otherwise if it only goes one way, then there's
(22:08):
no point. It's not gonna go anywhere obviously, right, So
maybe like the next time that there's something like this,
maybe approach it like maybe first could you imagine yourself
in my position and like go that way with it? Yes,
but if I was you actually don't wait for the
next time, because usually that's the poem. It's like I'm
not saying, don't talk to about it like right now,
(22:30):
right now because it might be a little fresh, but
don't wait for it to happen like maybe you start
to bring it up a little bit before. So it's
one that about it because you know if you wait
for like the moment, it's gonna either beyond the differensive
and then it's not gonna try to listen. I was
gonna say that you just think that because of this happened.
But if we actually when nothing happened, and you said,
(22:51):
like you know what I was thinking, like, you know,
just I would like to be able to express more
my feeling and stuff like that, then you know, most
likely it will be like more willing to listen at
that point because he knows nothing is happening, so it's
not like you know, anything bad, and maybe it will
be more you know, you know, willing to listen and
then understand even better. Okay, yeah that makes sense. Yeah,
(23:14):
so do it more like in a neutral time, not
necessarily when yeah, yeah, exactly, and people maybe you know,
if you feel like and then yeah, I try to
bring those feeling actually at that point you know, like
you know, you know it those was on me if
you know you do this or you do that, you know,
and let me know and ask him also if these
things that was on him. That way you can understand us.
(23:37):
So at your point and you know, to understand you
maybe a little bit better on you know, on the poll,
on what you like, what you're gonna like, and then
you know both ways. Okay, that makes sense. Thank you.
I will take your advice. He's gonna help, all right.
Thank you so much, thank you. All right, So that's
(23:58):
it for our colors. We're gonna take a quick break
and come back. Okay, So welcome back to home and Springs.
Um and here is some qu and a with me.
So the first one, Romane, A lot of people knew
(24:21):
you as a husband of Mary figure as fund sellings
and said, how did you meet? So we made so
when I came to work in the U s she um,
she was when we're a friend of m the person
I was coming to work for. So we're talking for
about like six months mores. And then when I moved
to the US, then obviously she was starting to show
(24:43):
me right, So obviously I got I was super attracted
to her directly. Um. So actually that's the second question,
what attracted you to her? So there's many things like
she's um an accomplition, but she's like, um uh such
a hard worker, she's a smart um and super sweet
(25:07):
or so she's just such a big hug and I
love the fact that you know she has those two
mud like you know, she can be like super funny
and and uh, you know, a friend and everything. And
then on the other side, like when she has to work,
like she's the most like focus and you know, determinated.
So third question, who made the first move? Did you?
(25:31):
Did you ask her out? So yes, actually did so
after a couple days actually working. I mean when I
met her, I did actually ask her out, so I
think it was like four days afterwards. And uh, and
I didn't made the first move. I was grabbing your legs,
I think, and grab her hand and then let on
(25:53):
when we are we went out, actually kissed her for
the first time and the rest is history. Uh. The
fourth one, what's the best part of being made into
a strong and accomplished woman? Um, the best part of it.
I mean what I love is that I know that
(26:14):
I can always scane on her. Um. We both like
you know as um we both the color of each
other like, and we love that you know, we're such
a hard worker, both of us, so uh we uh
we are admire this from from each other that you know,
uh like working so much and being having so many
(26:38):
goals and stuff like that. So that's what I love
the most about her, Like she's like such a care Okay.
The fifth one may as a life in l A
for many years before you moved where it had to
fit into our life at first, so um, well, obviously
(27:00):
when I moved with it, I didn't have any one,
so she was super nice and actually made me meet
her friends and luckily for me, we got like we
clicked with every one of her friends actually, and Jason
bread like became like two of my brother and then
(27:20):
where the where we start training, we're like one of
the things. So I got lucky. But like, yeah, we
I love for a friend and so um fortunately for me,
now it wasn't that hard. After it's a lifestyle that
you have to, you know, go for it. But you know,
when I moved here, um, I knew that's what I wanted.
So no, actually for me, it didn't it wasn't that hard.
(27:45):
What is the one thing you and may love to
do together? What we love to do together the most?
It's traveling, especially in Italy. That's a favorite country, I
mean the favorite places. We of love Italian food and
we just love Italian so the people or the food
(28:06):
and everything, so but not only Italy, we just love traveling.
That's alf A waid. Things like discovered the world together
in different countries and people's and that's off things um
into some ding relations questions. Okay, so who is dealing
different in friends than in the US. Um, that's a
(28:32):
good question. I don't know. I mean I feel like
I don't know if it's that different. I mean dating
is dating after each Yeah maybe the different culture it's
a little bit different, you know, France and the US.
But after OTN and that it's like we're talking about
the man and a woman no matter where it is
(28:53):
you know in the world that it's like you have
to adapt yourself to each other and then you know,
make some sacrifice and then, uh, you know, if you
love the person and you want to make it walk.
I feel like, no matter where you are in the world,
you have to do it. So I don't know if
it's that much difference between friends and us. But yeah, okay,
(29:19):
so as someone who is younger than your spouse, those
age really matter in the restaurantship for us, not at all. Actually, UM,
I mean I don't think so personally, and I don't
think my wife hither. Um. I think she keeps like
she always said, I'm I'm an old soul. And uh,
(29:42):
I just think that you know, if you love the person,
you treat the person right and everything. Um. As the idea,
it doesn't really matter, like you know, it's more, but
like what you treat teach us her and the respect
and then you know how much you care and you
know the attention that you give tweature, that's what's matter
(30:05):
for me. So no, it doesn't matter from me. So
what's your best advice for an happy and healthy marriage?
My best advice is too um. For us, what was
is spend time together, open and be able to talk
(30:28):
and um. Yeah, spending time together and then try to
do activity together like us for example, what we love
the most and we always reconnect so much more, it's
when we travel and spend time together. So I think
it's spending time together and m And obviously you know
(30:51):
when you love each other and do you know, keep
showing that person that you love her or love him,
you know. And the last one, do you think it's
important that a couple has separate interests or those everything together? Uh? No,
I think it's good to have like separate interests. Um.
(31:12):
I mean it's just because no matter how much you
love the person, it's good to have like your little
time and you know with your friends stuff like that,
Like you know, I love to go to the gym.
She does like different like kind of exercise. But I
love to have my time with my boys and then
just go and you know, it's my it's my time.
And I think I think it's good for in its
(31:32):
relstionship to have your whole little time you know sometimes
and then uh and then not everything you know, not
everyone can love. It's everything like all the same things. Sorry,
so yeah, I know, I think you know. I mean,
if you can obviously do a lot of things together,
but it's good or so to have like some different player,
(31:56):
you know baself. All right, So thanks everybody. You can
follow me on Instagram do you remember Bonnet and thank
you again fathering me on the Home men Sphinx. This
is how men think. An I Heart Radio London audio
production listen each Thursday on the iHeart Radio app, Apple
(32:16):
Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
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