September 1, 2022 • 31 mins
Selling OC’s Tyler Stanaland is often at the center of gossip. But today he’s the one dishing out the details as he takes a seat in the HMT captain’s chair.
What do you do when your boyfriend won’t post pictures of you? Did you kiss your husband’s friend? (Go ahead and read that one again, we’ll wait) How do you meet people IRL without a dating app? Tyler is not getting thrown any softballs here but he’s answering anything and everything the listeners throw at him…Including some personal details about himself and his relationship.
It’s an HMT straight from the OC.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
We're taking you inside the mind of a man. This
is how Men Thick and I heard radio podcast. Everyone.
I'm Tyler Standlon and you may know me from the
new Netflix series Selling DC. I'm so happy to be
here guest hosting How Men Think, and I'm going to
answer all your questions and try and help you understand
how Men Think. But first, this is eleven Questions with Tyler.
(00:23):
Let's get into it. What are you known for? Tell
us about yourself. UM, I'm probably best known for surfing
and selling houses. I'm fourth generation surfer and fifth generation
real estate. So whether I wanted to or not, those
are probably gonna be fields that I had some sort
of involvement in. UM, and luckily I love both of them.
(00:46):
Who are you in personal life? Who are you in
your personal life? UM? Who am I in my personal life?
It's a tough question. I would say. In my personal life,
I'm probably I like an introverted extrovert. I love to
be social, but I also like to come home and
(01:07):
be with myself. UM. I spent a lot of time
at the beach. UM. That's kind of like my my church.
I guess I need the ocean or I become a
grumpy Human. Three shows you are binge watching well number
one selling the d O C. I binged it. You
should binge it. That's great. I also just binged alone,
(01:30):
which is so fascinating that people are able to survive
in the wilderness for months at a time with no
help or intervention unless they have some sort of medical emergency.
That was mind blowing. And I got sucked in um.
And then lastly, let's see, I actually just saw that
Ozarks had new episodes, and I just started diving out.
(01:51):
I watched the first two seasons, and then I somehow
just forgot about it and started watching last night, and
I'm already hooked on the latest seasons. Let's see, what
is my favorite food? My favorite foods probably I don't know.
I'm still like a five year old. So my favorite
food is probably French fries. If I'm in a restaurant,
I'll order French fries no matter what, Like with a
(02:13):
salade with a burger, I get an actually side of fries.
I just I feel like you can't eat at a
restaurant without ordering fries. Tell us about my career. So
my career is I am a surferd I'm also in
real estate. My main focus now is in real estate UM,
and I've been in the business for a long time.
I had license when I was I've got licensed twelve
(02:35):
or thirteen years ago now. And UM it's kind of
the family trade. So when I was in high school,
my family had a brokerage. I was working in the office.
Kind of is just like a water boy, but I
was just exposed to a lot, which really benefited my
career long term. And then I worked with the family
UM for a number of years and now I'm at
the appan end group. What is your biggest fear in life? Oh,
(02:58):
maybe sharks, and they spent a lot of time in
the ocean, and I still have a pretty healthy fear
of sharks. Um. I love them as animals, but I'm
still terrified of them. What's your biggest pet peeve? My
biggest pet peeve is loud chewers. I don't know why
we can't just chew with our mouth closes. We're taught
at a very young age to keep our mouth closed.
(03:19):
But people that are chewing at them out that win
and talking and you're seeing the food and food is flying.
It's a It's an ick for me. It's a major hick. Um.
What makes me most happy the beach and the ocean.
It's something that was fortunate. I was fortunate enough to
grow up in Laguna Beach and the beach was kind
of like our playground, and so every day after school
(03:40):
we were surfing and skin boarding and fishing. And UM,
it is a place that I need and a place
that makes me a better me and something that was
a huge part of my life. UM, and that I
hope I never have to live without. UM. What is
your ideal Saturday morning? When ideal Saturday morning with me
to wake up and go surfing, come home, have coffee, breakfast,
(04:05):
maybe go for a workout, go for a run or something. UM,
not much of like a like a weightlifter or like
June kind of guy, but physical activity of some sort,
and then maybe back to the beach if it's a
nice day. Um. As you can see, I'm very boring
and just like to spend my time at the beach.
Are you more of an athlete or an armchair quarterback?
(04:26):
I would say athlete probably. I want to be like
in there with the action doing it. But I will
say I'm not a quarterback. Um. You'll see in selling BOC.
I don't know if it's in there or not, but
I try to throw a football and I've never really
thrown a football, and it was about as bad as
it gets. It looked like I threw it with my
with my left arm or something. It was crazy. So
(04:47):
luckily if it's if it's football, I might be an
armchair quarterback. Um. What keeps me motivated? Um? A lot
of things keep me motivated. I I'm motivated by you.
My dad is a very successful reader in Orange County,
so I've got some big shoes to feel. That motivates me. Um.
But personally, I'm just usual. I'm a driven person. I'm
(05:10):
very goal oriented and I set high standards, so I'm
constantly trying to be more than what I've already accomplished.
And I'm not easily satisfied with myself in a healthy way,
so I would say myself. Yeah, So that was eleven
questions with me. We're gonna take a quick break and
(05:31):
we'll be back with some line of colors. Hey, everyone,
welcome back to Premier Break. I'm Tyler stand Land from
Selling the OC. Your your guest host today of How
Men Think? And um, let's jump into some lot of colors. Hi, Brenda,
(05:53):
how are you? I'm good? How are you? I'm good,
I'm good. What's going on? Uh? Well, I'm feeling discouraged,
just like in general about all dating at all. Um.
I tried this dating you know, the dating app you
go on in and you delete in whatever, the whole cycle,
(06:13):
and my it's just not working. My friend put me
on a double date and it went really well, but
then like two days later he was like, I'm not
feeling it, and I don't. I like that, Like, I'm
glad that he told me so fast, but also like,
how do you know if you don't like me with one?
(06:35):
I just think this happens a lot. We're we all
have these high expectations and so we're saying no so fast,
and what if we miss something? How do I deal
with that? I could not agree more. I think it's
funny too, because I think now with dating apps and
social media, there's almost like it's almost like you're a
kid in the camps. Whether there's so many options that
(06:55):
even though you really like twigs, you're still looking at
like the kit kats and the butterfingers, and it's all
to the options that it's confusing. So it is tough.
I mean, have you reached out to see if maybe
there was a spark for a second chance or something? Uh?
And I mean no, I feel like I wouldn't be
able to do that. That would be really embarrassing because
I got rejected. It's I'm rejected. He doesn't want me,
(07:18):
and now what do? What else am I supposed to do?
I get that, I get that sometimes sometimes those guys
are I mean, I don't know this. I know with
with me personally, sometimes guys are shy and and it's
attractive when a girl takes a shot. But I don't know,
at least at the very least, maybe better to find
out now than later. And at some point you'll meet
(07:41):
somebody in the grocery store or or on a dating
app that you know, we'll want a second date and
the third date. So what you're saying is I have
no control or the situation. You just have to let
go kind of and when you know, you know, and
when they know, they'll know. And unfortunately it's just dating
(08:02):
is tough. It's a it's a wild ride. But you
will find that person, and that person will find you,
and it will make all these experiences worth it, all right,
I'll hold you to that. Okay, perfect? Hey Zoe, how
are you? I'm good? How are you? I'm good? I'm good.
What's going on? Well, I just got into a new
(08:22):
relationship with someone I knew from college. I mean, we're
currently living in different states, so you know we're doing
this long distance. Um. He's not a big social media
guy yet. The last three out of his five posts
on Instagram are of his ex girlfriend. His ex girlfriend, Yeah,
(08:46):
they're a mixture. I mean I didn't look like they
were from a long time ago, but you know they
weren't this week, so you know. I asked him to
take them down, but he doesn't want to. He doesn't
want to make her feel bad. So then I said, hey,
why don't you post some of me instead? And he
suppose he doesn't like to post on his Instagram, Like, um,
(09:08):
I add a line here to be upset about this, Like,
how do I get him to take these photos down? Yeah? See,
social media is a tricky thing, and it's something that
you know, previous generations didn't have to deal with, but
it is a factor in dating. Are they are they
close friends still? Because because because I've dated people that
(09:29):
you know, they end up their exes end up being
best friends and they're really close and it can feel
awkward at times, but truly it is just a friendship.
Is it that sort of a same situation or is
it unclear? Yeah? Yeah, I think it's probably that, but
I don't really believe in that being a good thing,
you know. Yeah, yeah, I mean yeah, it works for
(09:50):
some it doesn't for others. I mean, if he is,
it's something that you just got to communicate and tell
him why. And if he's not receptive to it, then
maybe that's something that leads to a further conversation of
you know, what makes sense for you both long term,
because ultimately, you want somebody that chooses you, and you know,
(10:11):
you don't want something to cut their their friends out.
But also if you're gonna invest your time with somebody,
you want them to, you know, reciprocate in ways that
make you feel safe. Yeah that's great, Thank you? Yeah?
How the else? Thanks? It? Does I have to talk
to them all? Right? Well? Thank you? Zoe? Thanks by right, Hi, Testa,
(10:33):
this is Tyler. How are you okay? What's going on?
Let's hear it? Okay? Um? This is hard? Uh, So
my girlfriends and I were out the other night and
we ran it was like a girl's night out, you know,
we do this every few months, and we ran into, um,
(10:56):
we ran into some of my husband's buddies weirdly enough. UM.
And then we just sort of joined us and kind
of tagged along with us for the rest of the night,
which was kind of fun. It wasn't expected. It was stung.
We're all having a good time. Um. And then later, uh,
we were all dancing on dance floor and just out
of nowhere, one of his friends kissed me. And but
(11:20):
that's honestly, that's not even the worst part. The worst
part is that I kissed him back, and um, for
what is worth, I was. I was a little buzzed.
I mean, I know that's not an excuse, but I
just wanted to add that. And I feel like garbage.
I feel like absolute garbage. Um. But so later that night, UM,
(11:40):
he texted me just you know, begging me not to
tell my husband, obviously because they're really good friends and
and I don't know what to do. Honestly, I don't
know what to do. I don't like keeping things from
my husband. We don't have that kind of relationship, you know.
But at the same time, I'm I'm terrified to telling him.
I mean this, I don't want to lose him. I
don't want to get a divorce. I don't know what
(12:02):
to do. I also don't want to hurt him, you know.
So it's like, maybe it's better if I don't tell
him because it didn't mean anything. You know, it was
just a stupid mistake and it's never gonna happen again.
And I don't even know it's if it's just one
of those things I can just bury and never you know,
pretend it never happened. But I'm also scared because it
(12:23):
was his buddy. I don't know. I don't know what
to do. I totally get that. I totally get that.
I think it is sticky because even though it didn't
mean anything, it still happened, and it affects your relationship.
I think, you know, I don't know your relationship and
the dynamic between you and your husband. So I'll just
speak for myself. I think if I was your husband,
(12:44):
I would rather know than not know. And then if
I found out, you know, years down the road, it
may feel like a bigger deal. Then if it was
like a Hey, things got out of control, made a mistake.
I am so sorry. Never gonna happen again. You know,
I think I think that typically honesty with me is
always still best policy, and it tends to hurt less.
(13:07):
It might see a bit at first, but at least
at least you can sleep at night knowing that you know,
I was told sort of a thing. Um. But but
it is tough. It's tough, I think, yeah, I think, yeah,
it's one of those things I wish that there was
I wish it was something that I could give you
a yes or no, this is the right or wrong thing.
(13:27):
But it's it's a situational thing. But if it was me,
I would like to know. I think it's it's extra
complicated because it is his friend and it was so stupid,
and it mean what you're saying, it's actually my gut instinct.
I mean, I want to tell him, but I'm just
so terrified of seeing his face. And I'm also terrified
of him changing how he feels. This is changing how
(13:50):
he feels about me. And but you know, if this
was a stranger, I feel like, well I could probably
keep this, you know, bury it, and keep this my secret.
The rest of my life. But even though his friend
is begging me right now not to tell him, what
if one day he does decided to tell him. I
don't know, I mean, but I also don't want to
ruin their friendship, and it's God, what have I done? Yeah,
(14:16):
I hear you. So I had a similar experience in
the workplace where somebody tried to kiss me. But I
think the biggest difference there was just even though nothing happened,
I still felt the need to communicate it to my partner,
and it made a big difference in our relationship just
knowing what happened. I think having it not knowing can
(14:39):
sometimes create a bigger issue. If that. Do you think
that you think I'm gonna Do you think my marriage
is in jeopardy over this? Do you think that's the
thing I'm scared of the most? Yeah, I mean, I
don't know the dynamic of your marriage. I I think
I would have an easier time if my partner came
to me and said I made a mistake. I kissed
(15:01):
somebody meant nothing. It was like one second we were
dancing and things were crazy. But I don't know, you know,
I don't know how he would react. I don't know
the long term history there, but um, in my opinion,
honesty is always the best policy. Yeah, it's time, but
that's just that's that's what I would do. You're you're
(15:24):
pretty much, You're pretty much. Yeah, it's it's pretty much
how I feel. You're you're sort of validating. But thank you,
of course, of course I hope that helps and hopefully
everything works out. Oh yeah, thanks, all right, Tessa, It's
Tyler Standel And how are you good? Are you good?
(15:46):
I'm good? What's going on? How how can we help today?
So I am thirty two and I'm single, and I'm
just in a place where all my friends are married,
they're starting to have kids, and I just find myself
getting invited to more bridle and baby showers that actually
out to like dinner and drinks. You know. I've been
trying the apps, but I just have not had a
(16:08):
lot of success on them. And I try to go out,
but I just don't have very many friends willing to
just go out and grab a drink with me anymore.
I'm just wondering, like if you can help me, Like,
what are some other ways I can try and meet
men beside the apps? And bars. That is a good
question because so I'm thirty three, I'm married, and I
would say my friends are fift split between being married
and having like a whole herd of children and still
(16:31):
out at the bars. So um, it's tough. Do you like,
what are what sort of hobbies do you enjoy doing? Well,
I'm really into fitness, you know. I like to meet
the gym, I like to hike. Um, but it's really
hard because when you go to the gym, everyone's kind
of in their zone and no one really wants to
approach you, especially you know, out here. So it's just
(16:51):
challenging to to meet someone. Yeah. Yeah, I would say
maybe in the gym. I mean, guys, guys are shot,
guys are we're like, we're the worst if we were.
Most of us have another game, myself included, like zero game.
So sometimes if you see a guy that you have
your your eye on, maybe you make the first move,
(17:12):
which isn't you know, the norm or what we're used to,
But sometimes that's what it's going to take to make somebody,
you know, come talk to you. Yeah. No, that's a
great idea. I just have to work up the nerve
to do it. It's not the easiest thing. Yeah, I
believe being being married. I do not miss that. So
it's never good at it and I just yeah, but
(17:34):
sometimes that is what it takes. And maybe in the
gym or you know, maybe hiking, maybe as you're passing
by somebody, some stubble walk by and you'll ask them
what time it is or something. I don't know. Don't
just don't be afraid to make the first move. I think,
thank you, I'll try, I'll try. It sounds good, thank you,
(17:55):
thank you. Hi, Hi Mary, how are you good? Thanks
for Colin? Sure? What's um? What's going on? Okay, So
here's the deal. Um, my boyfriend and I we've been
together for three years and he wants us to buy
(18:16):
a house together. Um. Our finances so far are completely separate,
and I just feel like that is like a huge,
major first financial commitment together. And his thinking is kind
of like, I'm not taking our relationship seriously because I
have hesitations about that. So I guess I'm just wondering
(18:38):
if you guys have any advice for like an am
married couple an unmarried couple trying to buy a house together. Well,
good thing you should ask. I am a realtor, so
that actually works out well good. That is a big decision,
both financially and relationally. Um, do you are their plans
(18:59):
to be married or you guys still trying to figure
it out. I mean, I feel like we're in it
to win it, but we're not engaged. So you know,
would you if you were engaged, would it make the
decision ultimately easier to buy a house? I mean a
little bit, just because there's a commitment there that as
boyfriend and girlfriend isn't there is that financial big steps
(19:25):
So yeah, well, if you're in it to win it,
then I mean maybe it wouldn't be the worst say
to you to have a conversation with him and say like, hey, baby,
I'm in this. You know you're in this. We we
want to start a family or or just buy a house,
start a future. But it feels weird to combine our
finances and invest in something that we're paying off for
(19:47):
the next thirty years when my left finger is still
very barren. You know. Yeah, do you think that? How
do you think he would react to something like that?
I mean, I I don't really know, because to me,
it's like, if you want to move in together, then
like what difference does it? Like might as well get married,
(20:07):
But I don't know. I feel like maybe he's like
a little bit weird about marriage because of like his
situation with his parents being divorced and all that stuff.
I mean, I I don't know, it's kind of a
sticky situation. I guess that makes sense. So do you
do you guys not currently live together now? We do
live together now, but we rent okay? Cool? Yeah, I
(20:29):
mean it's a big decision and it made Marriage isn't
for everyone either, but you know, buying a house is
essentially the same thing. You're locking yourself into something for
you know, most times thirty years, So you gotta really
like the person and they got to stick it out
with you, yea, So maybe a conversation. I don't know,
(20:50):
that's that's that's a tough one, but that way, at
least if you can communicate on both sides and no
one has left feeling resentful or like, you know, out
to dry right well, And I guess I too, also,
Like it sounds crazy to say because we're not married,
but like I want to make sure we're both like
legally protective, like both of us, so neither one can
(21:12):
like screw the other one with like up, we're leaving
you with a thirty your mortgage. You're stuck, so totally totally. Yeah,
it's a big it's a big commitment on both sides.
And if you guys are you know, if you're both
in it, it's an awesome thing. And if you're not,
then yeah, somebody could get stuck with a big bill
for sure. All Right, Well, if we find a place,
(21:32):
I'll make sure I send you the specs so you
can give me a real brain on it. Send you
over to me. I will give you all the info
I have. Okay, great, all right, and Mary, thank you
so much. Thanks. Well, that wraps it up. Thanks for
all your calls today. We're gonna take a quick break
and we'll be right back. Well, come back from your break.
(22:01):
I'm your guest host today. Tyler stand Land on how
men think we are going to get into the Q
and A. Now, um, how did you and your wife
Brittany me? We we actually met? What's funny? Are? Essentially
I slid into her d M with the worst pickup
line possible. I she was at an event and she
(22:21):
looked amazing, and I said, behave town. USA population you
and it took I took a couple of days to respond.
It was so lame, but she did and I redeemed
myself with a couple of lines. But um, oddly enough,
we actually had a few, well a few, A couple
of our exits dated and so we were like aware
of each other, and there was this weird that it
(22:43):
was like the universe was like pushing us together, kind
of from in a strange way. But yeah, really bad
pickup line, and somehow she responded, Um, what was your
first date? Like? With Brittany? My first date was super
was scary. All for states are scary, um, but even
(23:04):
more scary because I started off on a weird foot
with a bad pickup line. And then you know, I
was so nervous. I barely spoke. And luckily she's very
outgoing and lovely and kind of carry the whole conversation
until I could drink enough margaritas to formulate sentences. Um,
so I was super nervous. Um, when did you know
(23:24):
she was the one? I knew she was the one
pretty quickly. She's very She's an incredible human. She's smart
and funny and down to earth and just the most
lovely human ever and like nobody I've ever met, so
it was very quick to know she was the one
you married in twenty What is one thing you've learned
(23:44):
in marriage that you feel like might help other couples. UM,
I think you just have to to laugh. I think
marriage will teach you to laugh. When we got married,
it was there was a potential at that point, it
was a potential pandemic loom ng And we got married
in l A, which is usually eighty two degrees and
(24:05):
Sonny and for some reason that day it was a
high of fifty and it was raining and it was cold,
and kind of everything that could have gone wrong did
go wrong, and we just kind of had to laugh.
And so it was just a good lesson. Right after that,
you know, we canceled our honeymoon. It was just one
of those funny things. And I think that's something that
marriage teaches you, is you just have to find somebody
that you want to make it through those times with. UM.
(24:29):
How are you approached to do the show? I was approached, well,
I was approached from producers UM initially, and then I
was kind of talking with Jason about coming to the Brokery.
So it was kind of a combination between going to
the up and hand group and then also a production
knowing that they were trying to cast this show. Um,
(24:50):
and they both just kind of aligned at the same time,
which was which was a good time. Um. How has
the intention shifted towards you since the show aired? Um,
that's tough. I mean the show has only been out
for a little bit now, and UM, I think we're
all just kind of riding this way and all doing
(25:11):
interviews for the first time in podcasts and things like that.
So it is it's a strange change, and we're all
dealing with trolls on the internet and keyboard warriors and
and things that you know, we didn't ever face previously. Um,
but I don't know if things feel different ultimately, I'm
still you know, selling real estate and being able to
(25:34):
go surf and see my friends and so nothing has
really changed yet, which feels nice. Um. Where does your
friendship with Kayless stand now? Kayla and I are totally
fine right off the bat, right away, we swashed it.
And I think in the show spoiler alert you'll kind
of see my frustration that it almost feels like the
Kalis situation is being used as a weapon to kind
(25:59):
of solid drama or create drama amongst clicks. UM and
so Kayle and are fine. We've been fine, we communicated.
Our friendship has a a big, you know wall but
between it now, but we're good. I don't know that
it will ever be what it once was, and that's okay.
But that's where we stand and it's healthy and good.
(26:22):
UM onto some dating relationship questions. Why is it hard
for men to express their feelings? I think it's a
good question. I think I think it's hard for men
to express their feelings because we always want to be
tough and we're taught to, you know, suck it up
and not be a worse um whatever whatever we're taught. Younger,
(26:43):
I think I think we're starting to see though, a
lot of change around mental health, and specifically with men
and their mental health, which is awesome and something that
has been needed for a long time. That it's okay
to share your your feelings. UM. But you know, in
some cases, maybe people are just quiet, like I just
I'm just quiet, and I'm I'm not quick to speak.
(27:07):
I'll have to sit with something and think about it,
and sometimes you gonna write it down before I can
express it the way that I want to. So that's
that's the other thing too. Sometimes people just express feelings differently,
and it's important in dating to find somebody that communicates
similarly to you, or somebody will be left feeling resentful. Um.
Do men like when women play hard to get? Some men? Yes.
(27:28):
Some men love the chase and they always want it,
and the minute they don't have it, it's like this
instinctual thing where they need something else to go to
chase others it will drive him crazy. Personally, I don't
like the chase. I hate the chase. I think it's stupid.
I don't want to play games. If you like me
and I like you, why are we running? Let's just
(27:49):
you know, hang out. So but some men do. Some
men love it. I think it's an instinctual thing. I
think it's like it goes back to the hunter, like
the hunter gatherer instinct or something. Um. What is the
proper amount of time to wait to go on a
date with somebody that used to date a friend? That's tricky? Um?
(28:09):
I would say never, Well, it depends on the friend.
When I was younger, I dated a friends ex girlfriend
and it was just the worst it was for no reason,
and he was a good buddy of mine, and I
didn't know how long, how much time had passed, or
how close they really were when they dated. We were
close growing up and then kind of went our own ways,
(28:29):
and then I started dating with this girl, and then
once I was dating or the damage was done and
luckily now we're great friends. And I apologized, but kind
of one of those things where you don't really double
dip if you love your friend enough, m or it's
worth having a conversation with. My opinion is there is
never enough time. It's a no go, red flag, don't
(28:50):
do it. Why do men seem to want what they
can't have? I think he goes back to the chase.
I think men like to accomplish things, and I mean
Pete like to accomplishing. But I think it's in a
man's DNA to want to accomplish and create and be
the alpha. And when they don't have something and they're
(29:10):
able to find a way to get it, it like
takes this instinctual thing, this instinctual box um. But that's
another thing that's that goes back to the chase. And
I don't I don't have that any luckily. Um, does
a man having a status career play a role in
when they might want to settle down or does it
depend on the right partner. That's a tough question. I
(29:33):
think it. I think it depends on the right partner.
And sometimes the right partner is willing to stick it
out with you while you guys are you know, still
growing in your careers. But there are certain industries in
which you know, men and women have to put their
their head down and really focus. Um. You know, let's
say you work on Wall Street or you're an attorney. Um,
(29:54):
there's so much you're you live in an office, and
there's so much that you have to do and accomplished
before you have the flexibility and freedom. But when you
meet to the right person and you know it, it's
pretty hard to put anything else in front of them,
especially if you're both choosing each other and making each
other a priority. Then you know what kind of shifts.
(30:15):
But I will say, you always want to choose somebody
that choose your back. Somebody hasn't chosen you and you
are chasing them. It's not a great feeling. So choose
somebody that chooses you. Well, that is the end of
the Q and a thank you so much for calling
in today. I again am your guest host, Tyler stand
(30:36):
A Land on How Men Think. Um. Please check out
Selling BOSC on Netflix and if you want to see
more on the scenes or more about me, you can
find me on Instagram at Tyler stand A Land. I
hope I was able to give some sort of helpful
info and I hope you have a great rest of
your day. This is How Men Think and I Heart
Radio London Audio Production. Listen each Thursday on the I
(30:58):
Heart Radio app, Apple Poe Podcasts or wherever you get
your podcasts.
We're taking you inside the mind of a man. This
is how Men Thick and I heard radio podcast. Everyone.
I'm Tyler Standlon and you may know me from the
new Netflix series Selling DC. I'm so happy to be
here guest hosting How Men Think, and I'm going to
answer all your questions and try and help you understand
how Men Think. But first, this is eleven Questions with Tyler.
(00:23):
Let's get into it. What are you known for? Tell
us about yourself. UM, I'm probably best known for surfing
and selling houses. I'm fourth generation surfer and fifth generation
real estate. So whether I wanted to or not, those
are probably gonna be fields that I had some sort
of involvement in. UM, and luckily I love both of them.
(00:46):
Who are you in personal life? Who are you in
your personal life? UM? Who am I in my personal life?
It's a tough question. I would say. In my personal life,
I'm probably I like an introverted extrovert. I love to
be social, but I also like to come home and
(01:07):
be with myself. UM. I spent a lot of time
at the beach. UM. That's kind of like my my church.
I guess I need the ocean or I become a
grumpy Human. Three shows you are binge watching well number
one selling the d O C. I binged it. You
should binge it. That's great. I also just binged alone,
(01:30):
which is so fascinating that people are able to survive
in the wilderness for months at a time with no
help or intervention unless they have some sort of medical emergency.
That was mind blowing. And I got sucked in um.
And then lastly, let's see, I actually just saw that
Ozarks had new episodes, and I just started diving out.
(01:51):
I watched the first two seasons, and then I somehow
just forgot about it and started watching last night, and
I'm already hooked on the latest seasons. Let's see, what
is my favorite food? My favorite foods probably I don't know.
I'm still like a five year old. So my favorite
food is probably French fries. If I'm in a restaurant,
I'll order French fries no matter what, Like with a
(02:13):
salade with a burger, I get an actually side of fries.
I just I feel like you can't eat at a
restaurant without ordering fries. Tell us about my career. So
my career is I am a surferd I'm also in
real estate. My main focus now is in real estate UM,
and I've been in the business for a long time.
I had license when I was I've got licensed twelve
(02:35):
or thirteen years ago now. And UM it's kind of
the family trade. So when I was in high school,
my family had a brokerage. I was working in the office.
Kind of is just like a water boy, but I
was just exposed to a lot, which really benefited my
career long term. And then I worked with the family
UM for a number of years and now I'm at
the appan end group. What is your biggest fear in life? Oh,
(02:58):
maybe sharks, and they spent a lot of time in
the ocean, and I still have a pretty healthy fear
of sharks. Um. I love them as animals, but I'm
still terrified of them. What's your biggest pet peeve? My
biggest pet peeve is loud chewers. I don't know why
we can't just chew with our mouth closes. We're taught
at a very young age to keep our mouth closed.
(03:19):
But people that are chewing at them out that win
and talking and you're seeing the food and food is flying.
It's a It's an ick for me. It's a major hick. Um.
What makes me most happy the beach and the ocean.
It's something that was fortunate. I was fortunate enough to
grow up in Laguna Beach and the beach was kind
of like our playground, and so every day after school
(03:40):
we were surfing and skin boarding and fishing. And UM,
it is a place that I need and a place
that makes me a better me and something that was
a huge part of my life. UM, and that I
hope I never have to live without. UM. What is
your ideal Saturday morning? When ideal Saturday morning with me
to wake up and go surfing, come home, have coffee, breakfast,
(04:05):
maybe go for a workout, go for a run or something. UM,
not much of like a like a weightlifter or like
June kind of guy, but physical activity of some sort,
and then maybe back to the beach if it's a
nice day. Um. As you can see, I'm very boring
and just like to spend my time at the beach.
Are you more of an athlete or an armchair quarterback?
(04:26):
I would say athlete probably. I want to be like
in there with the action doing it. But I will
say I'm not a quarterback. Um. You'll see in selling BOC.
I don't know if it's in there or not, but
I try to throw a football and I've never really
thrown a football, and it was about as bad as
it gets. It looked like I threw it with my
with my left arm or something. It was crazy. So
(04:47):
luckily if it's if it's football, I might be an
armchair quarterback. Um. What keeps me motivated? Um? A lot
of things keep me motivated. I I'm motivated by you.
My dad is a very successful reader in Orange County,
so I've got some big shoes to feel. That motivates me. Um.
But personally, I'm just usual. I'm a driven person. I'm
(05:10):
very goal oriented and I set high standards, so I'm
constantly trying to be more than what I've already accomplished.
And I'm not easily satisfied with myself in a healthy way,
so I would say myself. Yeah, So that was eleven
questions with me. We're gonna take a quick break and
(05:31):
we'll be back with some line of colors. Hey, everyone,
welcome back to Premier Break. I'm Tyler stand Land from
Selling the OC. Your your guest host today of How
Men Think? And um, let's jump into some lot of colors. Hi, Brenda,
(05:53):
how are you? I'm good? How are you? I'm good,
I'm good. What's going on? Uh? Well, I'm feeling discouraged,
just like in general about all dating at all. Um.
I tried this dating you know, the dating app you
go on in and you delete in whatever, the whole cycle,
(06:13):
and my it's just not working. My friend put me
on a double date and it went really well, but
then like two days later he was like, I'm not
feeling it, and I don't. I like that, Like, I'm
glad that he told me so fast, but also like,
how do you know if you don't like me with one?
(06:35):
I just think this happens a lot. We're we all
have these high expectations and so we're saying no so fast,
and what if we miss something? How do I deal
with that? I could not agree more. I think it's
funny too, because I think now with dating apps and
social media, there's almost like it's almost like you're a
kid in the camps. Whether there's so many options that
(06:55):
even though you really like twigs, you're still looking at
like the kit kats and the butterfingers, and it's all
to the options that it's confusing. So it is tough.
I mean, have you reached out to see if maybe
there was a spark for a second chance or something? Uh?
And I mean no, I feel like I wouldn't be
able to do that. That would be really embarrassing because
I got rejected. It's I'm rejected. He doesn't want me,
(07:18):
and now what do? What else am I supposed to do?
I get that, I get that sometimes sometimes those guys
are I mean, I don't know this. I know with
with me personally, sometimes guys are shy and and it's
attractive when a girl takes a shot. But I don't know,
at least at the very least, maybe better to find
out now than later. And at some point you'll meet
(07:41):
somebody in the grocery store or or on a dating
app that you know, we'll want a second date and
the third date. So what you're saying is I have
no control or the situation. You just have to let
go kind of and when you know, you know, and
when they know, they'll know. And unfortunately it's just dating
(08:02):
is tough. It's a it's a wild ride. But you
will find that person, and that person will find you,
and it will make all these experiences worth it, all right,
I'll hold you to that. Okay, perfect? Hey Zoe, how
are you? I'm good? How are you? I'm good? I'm good.
What's going on? Well, I just got into a new
(08:22):
relationship with someone I knew from college. I mean, we're
currently living in different states, so you know we're doing
this long distance. Um. He's not a big social media
guy yet. The last three out of his five posts
on Instagram are of his ex girlfriend. His ex girlfriend, Yeah,
(08:46):
they're a mixture. I mean I didn't look like they
were from a long time ago, but you know they
weren't this week, so you know. I asked him to
take them down, but he doesn't want to. He doesn't
want to make her feel bad. So then I said, hey,
why don't you post some of me instead? And he
suppose he doesn't like to post on his Instagram, Like, um,
(09:08):
I add a line here to be upset about this, Like,
how do I get him to take these photos down? Yeah? See,
social media is a tricky thing, and it's something that
you know, previous generations didn't have to deal with, but
it is a factor in dating. Are they are they
close friends still? Because because because I've dated people that
(09:29):
you know, they end up their exes end up being
best friends and they're really close and it can feel
awkward at times, but truly it is just a friendship.
Is it that sort of a same situation or is
it unclear? Yeah? Yeah, I think it's probably that, but
I don't really believe in that being a good thing,
you know. Yeah, yeah, I mean yeah, it works for
(09:50):
some it doesn't for others. I mean, if he is,
it's something that you just got to communicate and tell
him why. And if he's not receptive to it, then
maybe that's something that leads to a further conversation of
you know, what makes sense for you both long term,
because ultimately, you want somebody that chooses you, and you know,
(10:11):
you don't want something to cut their their friends out.
But also if you're gonna invest your time with somebody,
you want them to, you know, reciprocate in ways that
make you feel safe. Yeah that's great, Thank you? Yeah?
How the else? Thanks? It? Does I have to talk
to them all? Right? Well? Thank you? Zoe? Thanks by right, Hi, Testa,
(10:33):
this is Tyler. How are you okay? What's going on?
Let's hear it? Okay? Um? This is hard? Uh, So
my girlfriends and I were out the other night and
we ran it was like a girl's night out, you know,
we do this every few months, and we ran into, um,
(10:56):
we ran into some of my husband's buddies weirdly enough. UM.
And then we just sort of joined us and kind
of tagged along with us for the rest of the night,
which was kind of fun. It wasn't expected. It was stung.
We're all having a good time. Um. And then later, uh,
we were all dancing on dance floor and just out
of nowhere, one of his friends kissed me. And but
(11:20):
that's honestly, that's not even the worst part. The worst
part is that I kissed him back, and um, for
what is worth, I was. I was a little buzzed.
I mean, I know that's not an excuse, but I
just wanted to add that. And I feel like garbage.
I feel like absolute garbage. Um. But so later that night, UM,
(11:40):
he texted me just you know, begging me not to
tell my husband, obviously because they're really good friends and
and I don't know what to do. Honestly, I don't
know what to do. I don't like keeping things from
my husband. We don't have that kind of relationship, you know.
But at the same time, I'm I'm terrified to telling him.
I mean this, I don't want to lose him. I
don't want to get a divorce. I don't know what
(12:02):
to do. I also don't want to hurt him, you know.
So it's like, maybe it's better if I don't tell
him because it didn't mean anything. You know, it was
just a stupid mistake and it's never gonna happen again.
And I don't even know it's if it's just one
of those things I can just bury and never you know,
pretend it never happened. But I'm also scared because it
(12:23):
was his buddy. I don't know. I don't know what
to do. I totally get that. I totally get that.
I think it is sticky because even though it didn't
mean anything, it still happened, and it affects your relationship.
I think, you know, I don't know your relationship and
the dynamic between you and your husband. So I'll just
speak for myself. I think if I was your husband,
(12:44):
I would rather know than not know. And then if
I found out, you know, years down the road, it
may feel like a bigger deal. Then if it was
like a Hey, things got out of control, made a mistake.
I am so sorry. Never gonna happen again. You know,
I think I think that typically honesty with me is
always still best policy, and it tends to hurt less.
(13:07):
It might see a bit at first, but at least
at least you can sleep at night knowing that you know,
I was told sort of a thing. Um. But but
it is tough. It's tough, I think, yeah, I think, yeah,
it's one of those things I wish that there was
I wish it was something that I could give you
a yes or no, this is the right or wrong thing.
(13:27):
But it's it's a situational thing. But if it was me,
I would like to know. I think it's it's extra
complicated because it is his friend and it was so stupid,
and it mean what you're saying, it's actually my gut instinct.
I mean, I want to tell him, but I'm just
so terrified of seeing his face. And I'm also terrified
of him changing how he feels. This is changing how
(13:50):
he feels about me. And but you know, if this
was a stranger, I feel like, well I could probably
keep this, you know, bury it, and keep this my secret.
The rest of my life. But even though his friend
is begging me right now not to tell him, what
if one day he does decided to tell him. I
don't know, I mean, but I also don't want to
ruin their friendship, and it's God, what have I done? Yeah,
(14:16):
I hear you. So I had a similar experience in
the workplace where somebody tried to kiss me. But I
think the biggest difference there was just even though nothing happened,
I still felt the need to communicate it to my partner,
and it made a big difference in our relationship just
knowing what happened. I think having it not knowing can
(14:39):
sometimes create a bigger issue. If that. Do you think
that you think I'm gonna Do you think my marriage
is in jeopardy over this? Do you think that's the
thing I'm scared of the most? Yeah, I mean, I
don't know the dynamic of your marriage. I I think
I would have an easier time if my partner came
to me and said I made a mistake. I kissed
(15:01):
somebody meant nothing. It was like one second we were
dancing and things were crazy. But I don't know, you know,
I don't know how he would react. I don't know
the long term history there, but um, in my opinion,
honesty is always the best policy. Yeah, it's time, but
that's just that's that's what I would do. You're you're
(15:24):
pretty much, You're pretty much. Yeah, it's it's pretty much
how I feel. You're you're sort of validating. But thank you,
of course, of course I hope that helps and hopefully
everything works out. Oh yeah, thanks, all right, Tessa, It's
Tyler Standel And how are you good? Are you good?
(15:46):
I'm good? What's going on? How how can we help today?
So I am thirty two and I'm single, and I'm
just in a place where all my friends are married,
they're starting to have kids, and I just find myself
getting invited to more bridle and baby showers that actually
out to like dinner and drinks. You know. I've been
trying the apps, but I just have not had a
(16:08):
lot of success on them. And I try to go out,
but I just don't have very many friends willing to
just go out and grab a drink with me anymore.
I'm just wondering, like if you can help me, Like,
what are some other ways I can try and meet
men beside the apps? And bars. That is a good
question because so I'm thirty three, I'm married, and I
would say my friends are fift split between being married
and having like a whole herd of children and still
(16:31):
out at the bars. So um, it's tough. Do you like,
what are what sort of hobbies do you enjoy doing? Well,
I'm really into fitness, you know. I like to meet
the gym, I like to hike. Um, but it's really
hard because when you go to the gym, everyone's kind
of in their zone and no one really wants to
approach you, especially you know, out here. So it's just
(16:51):
challenging to to meet someone. Yeah. Yeah, I would say
maybe in the gym. I mean, guys, guys are shot,
guys are we're like, we're the worst if we were.
Most of us have another game, myself included, like zero game.
So sometimes if you see a guy that you have
your your eye on, maybe you make the first move,
(17:12):
which isn't you know, the norm or what we're used to,
But sometimes that's what it's going to take to make somebody,
you know, come talk to you. Yeah. No, that's a
great idea. I just have to work up the nerve
to do it. It's not the easiest thing. Yeah, I
believe being being married. I do not miss that. So
it's never good at it and I just yeah, but
(17:34):
sometimes that is what it takes. And maybe in the
gym or you know, maybe hiking, maybe as you're passing
by somebody, some stubble walk by and you'll ask them
what time it is or something. I don't know. Don't
just don't be afraid to make the first move. I think,
thank you, I'll try, I'll try. It sounds good, thank you,
(17:55):
thank you. Hi, Hi Mary, how are you good? Thanks
for Colin? Sure? What's um? What's going on? Okay, So
here's the deal. Um, my boyfriend and I we've been
together for three years and he wants us to buy
(18:16):
a house together. Um. Our finances so far are completely separate,
and I just feel like that is like a huge,
major first financial commitment together. And his thinking is kind
of like, I'm not taking our relationship seriously because I
have hesitations about that. So I guess I'm just wondering
(18:38):
if you guys have any advice for like an am
married couple an unmarried couple trying to buy a house together. Well,
good thing you should ask. I am a realtor, so
that actually works out well good. That is a big decision,
both financially and relationally. Um, do you are their plans
(18:59):
to be married or you guys still trying to figure
it out. I mean, I feel like we're in it
to win it, but we're not engaged. So you know,
would you if you were engaged, would it make the
decision ultimately easier to buy a house? I mean a
little bit, just because there's a commitment there that as
boyfriend and girlfriend isn't there is that financial big steps
(19:25):
So yeah, well, if you're in it to win it,
then I mean maybe it wouldn't be the worst say
to you to have a conversation with him and say like, hey, baby,
I'm in this. You know you're in this. We we
want to start a family or or just buy a house,
start a future. But it feels weird to combine our
finances and invest in something that we're paying off for
(19:47):
the next thirty years when my left finger is still
very barren. You know. Yeah, do you think that? How
do you think he would react to something like that?
I mean, I I don't really know, because to me,
it's like, if you want to move in together, then
like what difference does it? Like might as well get married,
(20:07):
But I don't know. I feel like maybe he's like
a little bit weird about marriage because of like his
situation with his parents being divorced and all that stuff.
I mean, I I don't know, it's kind of a
sticky situation. I guess that makes sense. So do you
do you guys not currently live together now? We do
live together now, but we rent okay? Cool? Yeah, I
(20:29):
mean it's a big decision and it made Marriage isn't
for everyone either, but you know, buying a house is
essentially the same thing. You're locking yourself into something for
you know, most times thirty years, So you gotta really
like the person and they got to stick it out
with you, yea, So maybe a conversation. I don't know,
(20:50):
that's that's that's a tough one, but that way, at
least if you can communicate on both sides and no
one has left feeling resentful or like, you know, out
to dry right well, And I guess I too, also,
Like it sounds crazy to say because we're not married,
but like I want to make sure we're both like
legally protective, like both of us, so neither one can
(21:12):
like screw the other one with like up, we're leaving
you with a thirty your mortgage. You're stuck, so totally totally. Yeah,
it's a big it's a big commitment on both sides.
And if you guys are you know, if you're both
in it, it's an awesome thing. And if you're not,
then yeah, somebody could get stuck with a big bill
for sure. All Right, Well, if we find a place,
(21:32):
I'll make sure I send you the specs so you
can give me a real brain on it. Send you
over to me. I will give you all the info
I have. Okay, great, all right, and Mary, thank you
so much. Thanks. Well, that wraps it up. Thanks for
all your calls today. We're gonna take a quick break
and we'll be right back. Well, come back from your break.
(22:01):
I'm your guest host today. Tyler stand Land on how
men think we are going to get into the Q
and A. Now, um, how did you and your wife
Brittany me? We we actually met? What's funny? Are? Essentially
I slid into her d M with the worst pickup
line possible. I she was at an event and she
(22:21):
looked amazing, and I said, behave town. USA population you
and it took I took a couple of days to respond.
It was so lame, but she did and I redeemed
myself with a couple of lines. But um, oddly enough,
we actually had a few, well a few, A couple
of our exits dated and so we were like aware
of each other, and there was this weird that it
(22:43):
was like the universe was like pushing us together, kind
of from in a strange way. But yeah, really bad
pickup line, and somehow she responded, Um, what was your
first date? Like? With Brittany? My first date was super
was scary. All for states are scary, um, but even
(23:04):
more scary because I started off on a weird foot
with a bad pickup line. And then you know, I
was so nervous. I barely spoke. And luckily she's very
outgoing and lovely and kind of carry the whole conversation
until I could drink enough margaritas to formulate sentences. Um,
so I was super nervous. Um, when did you know
(23:24):
she was the one? I knew she was the one
pretty quickly. She's very She's an incredible human. She's smart
and funny and down to earth and just the most
lovely human ever and like nobody I've ever met, so
it was very quick to know she was the one
you married in twenty What is one thing you've learned
(23:44):
in marriage that you feel like might help other couples. UM,
I think you just have to to laugh. I think
marriage will teach you to laugh. When we got married,
it was there was a potential at that point, it
was a potential pandemic loom ng And we got married
in l A, which is usually eighty two degrees and
(24:05):
Sonny and for some reason that day it was a
high of fifty and it was raining and it was cold,
and kind of everything that could have gone wrong did
go wrong, and we just kind of had to laugh.
And so it was just a good lesson. Right after that,
you know, we canceled our honeymoon. It was just one
of those funny things. And I think that's something that
marriage teaches you, is you just have to find somebody
that you want to make it through those times with. UM.
(24:29):
How are you approached to do the show? I was approached, well,
I was approached from producers UM initially, and then I
was kind of talking with Jason about coming to the Brokery.
So it was kind of a combination between going to
the up and hand group and then also a production
knowing that they were trying to cast this show. Um,
(24:50):
and they both just kind of aligned at the same time,
which was which was a good time. Um. How has
the intention shifted towards you since the show aired? Um,
that's tough. I mean the show has only been out
for a little bit now, and UM, I think we're
all just kind of riding this way and all doing
(25:11):
interviews for the first time in podcasts and things like that.
So it is it's a strange change, and we're all
dealing with trolls on the internet and keyboard warriors and
and things that you know, we didn't ever face previously. Um,
but I don't know if things feel different ultimately, I'm
still you know, selling real estate and being able to
(25:34):
go surf and see my friends and so nothing has
really changed yet, which feels nice. Um. Where does your
friendship with Kayless stand now? Kayla and I are totally
fine right off the bat, right away, we swashed it.
And I think in the show spoiler alert you'll kind
of see my frustration that it almost feels like the
Kalis situation is being used as a weapon to kind
(25:59):
of solid drama or create drama amongst clicks. UM and
so Kayle and are fine. We've been fine, we communicated.
Our friendship has a a big, you know wall but
between it now, but we're good. I don't know that
it will ever be what it once was, and that's okay.
But that's where we stand and it's healthy and good.
(26:22):
UM onto some dating relationship questions. Why is it hard
for men to express their feelings? I think it's a
good question. I think I think it's hard for men
to express their feelings because we always want to be
tough and we're taught to, you know, suck it up
and not be a worse um whatever whatever we're taught. Younger,
(26:43):
I think I think we're starting to see though, a
lot of change around mental health, and specifically with men
and their mental health, which is awesome and something that
has been needed for a long time. That it's okay
to share your your feelings. UM. But you know, in
some cases, maybe people are just quiet, like I just
I'm just quiet, and I'm I'm not quick to speak.
(27:07):
I'll have to sit with something and think about it,
and sometimes you gonna write it down before I can
express it the way that I want to. So that's
that's the other thing too. Sometimes people just express feelings differently,
and it's important in dating to find somebody that communicates
similarly to you, or somebody will be left feeling resentful. Um.
Do men like when women play hard to get? Some men? Yes.
(27:28):
Some men love the chase and they always want it,
and the minute they don't have it, it's like this
instinctual thing where they need something else to go to
chase others it will drive him crazy. Personally, I don't
like the chase. I hate the chase. I think it's stupid.
I don't want to play games. If you like me
and I like you, why are we running? Let's just
(27:49):
you know, hang out. So but some men do. Some
men love it. I think it's an instinctual thing. I
think it's like it goes back to the hunter, like
the hunter gatherer instinct or something. Um. What is the
proper amount of time to wait to go on a
date with somebody that used to date a friend? That's tricky? Um?
(28:09):
I would say never, Well, it depends on the friend.
When I was younger, I dated a friends ex girlfriend
and it was just the worst it was for no reason,
and he was a good buddy of mine, and I
didn't know how long, how much time had passed, or
how close they really were when they dated. We were
close growing up and then kind of went our own ways,
(28:29):
and then I started dating with this girl, and then
once I was dating or the damage was done and
luckily now we're great friends. And I apologized, but kind
of one of those things where you don't really double
dip if you love your friend enough, m or it's
worth having a conversation with. My opinion is there is
never enough time. It's a no go, red flag, don't
(28:50):
do it. Why do men seem to want what they
can't have? I think he goes back to the chase.
I think men like to accomplish things, and I mean
Pete like to accomplishing. But I think it's in a
man's DNA to want to accomplish and create and be
the alpha. And when they don't have something and they're
(29:10):
able to find a way to get it, it like
takes this instinctual thing, this instinctual box um. But that's
another thing that's that goes back to the chase. And
I don't I don't have that any luckily. Um, does
a man having a status career play a role in
when they might want to settle down or does it
depend on the right partner. That's a tough question. I
(29:33):
think it. I think it depends on the right partner.
And sometimes the right partner is willing to stick it
out with you while you guys are you know, still
growing in your careers. But there are certain industries in
which you know, men and women have to put their
their head down and really focus. Um. You know, let's
say you work on Wall Street or you're an attorney. Um,
(29:54):
there's so much you're you live in an office, and
there's so much that you have to do and accomplished
before you have the flexibility and freedom. But when you
meet to the right person and you know it, it's
pretty hard to put anything else in front of them,
especially if you're both choosing each other and making each
other a priority. Then you know what kind of shifts.
(30:15):
But I will say, you always want to choose somebody
that choose your back. Somebody hasn't chosen you and you
are chasing them. It's not a great feeling. So choose
somebody that chooses you. Well, that is the end of
the Q and a thank you so much for calling
in today. I again am your guest host, Tyler stand
(30:36):
A Land on How Men Think. Um. Please check out
Selling BOSC on Netflix and if you want to see
more on the scenes or more about me, you can
find me on Instagram at Tyler stand A Land. I
hope I was able to give some sort of helpful
info and I hope you have a great rest of
your day. This is How Men Think and I Heart
Radio London Audio Production. Listen each Thursday on the I
(30:58):
Heart Radio app, Apple Poe Podcasts or wherever you get
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