Home Team

How do we make life better during this time? How to feel better, sleep better, and stay mentally healthy.

Brooks is joined by Pat Dossett, a graduate of the U.S. Naval Academy, Basic Underwater Demolition/SEAL training, and the Wharton School of Business for a fascinating conversation about teamwork during this challenging time. The advice offers ways to stay connected, support one another, and act as a team.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is How Men Think with growthsl and Gavin to
grab and I hear radio podcast. Welcome to another episode
of How Men Think. My name is Brooks Like and
this is the most unique episode we've ever done. I'm
currently doing this from my home office here in Los Angeles, California.
So I've got no Gavin with me. I've got no

(00:22):
Rick with me, I've got no Dmitri, I've got no Ryan.
But we do have a very special guest with us today,
somebody that's going to help you, guys, cope with the
current situation of coronavirus coronavirus which we're all dealing with
in this unique time. And we'll get to him in
a second, but right now, I hope you are at
home practicing your social distancing. I am here in our

(00:44):
house in l a uh and the purpose of this
show is we want to help ease this easier anxiety,
easier stress, help improve the quality of your life during
this once in a lifetime almost time that we're currently in.
So we have if we're all going through these mental issues.
I know there's a lot of economic issues and stress

(01:05):
there as well, but there's a lot mentally that's going
on with us right now. That's carrying weight for a
lot of people. You have parents at home, you have
kids at home, you have to cook, clean and and
provide schooling, all these kinds of things. So there's a
lot going on. There's a big discussion about people are
very stressed out and very anxious in this time, and
so we thought what better way to tackle that problem

(01:27):
than to bring on a specialist, someone who deals and
has dealt with the most uncertain of uncertain and stressful times,
a former US Navy seal. And I want to welcome
him to the show, Mr Pat the set. Pat, how
are you, my friend doing? Doing great? Brother? Thank you Brooks.
It's it's great to be here, excited to kind of

(01:49):
talk to your audience, and I know it's it's interesting.
We are really at a very kind of um stressful
and a certain time I think for most of us
on a global skin ailed this type of stress that's
a little bit unbounded. We don't know how long it's
gonna go on for. This is gonna be something that
we're dealing for me, you know, for the next couple
of weeks, for the next couple of months, or if
this is going to be something that is going to

(02:11):
fundamentally change how we interact with one another and how
we go about our lives UH for the next several
years or potentially and definitely, UM, it's kind of a
unique time and so UM it's it's it's really nice
to be here to be able to talk with UH
with your audience about some early some of the principles
and lessons learned that I took from my time in
the team's UM and I think it's something that you know,

(02:31):
most team guys would say, Hey, this is these are
tried true principles that we leverage both in training and
in operations overseas. So I'm just really excited to be
here and kind of talk a little bit about that. Yeah,
and I love that, And I'm a team guy. To
being a professional hockey player, it was all about team
and you guys take team to another level. And so
I'm I first and foremost want to thank you for

(02:53):
your service. I am a huge fan of every single
service men and woman UM, and especially the cream of
the Cross, the U. S. Navy Seals. I just I
am over here just fan boying over you. Man. I
wish I could shake your hand. I wish I would
love to do this again sometime when I can actually
meet meet you. We're doing this phone call over Skype

(03:14):
right now. Um But one thing that I do know
about being on a team is fundamentals are so important.
They set the foundation for success. And so what I
want is to dive into your story and as a U. S.
Navy Seal, you deal with circumstances. I mean, I'm not

(03:34):
gonna say that you deal I'll let you speak to
it more. But you deal with the unpredictable circumstances as
much as maybe anybody in the world. That's what you
guys trained for. And so the world, everybody listening to
this right now, is in an unpredictable circumstance of coronavirus.
And I would love for you to sort of make
this simple for our audience to lay a foundational layer

(03:57):
of some things that we can do in our lives
that can help us regain control and improve the quality
of our lives. Um. So, as a as a Navy seal,
what are some of the things that you want to
direct our audience towards that are just gonna the low
hanging fruit that are going to benefit them right out
of the gate, right now, Yeah, I think it's it's

(04:19):
a it's a great question, and I love the fact
that you brought up and you stressed the point of
being on a team, that you're a team guy. I think,
you know, sometimes it gets lost in a little bit
of a mythic narrative about about seals that, um, you know,
whether you're watching movies in Hollywood or you're you're reading
books that guys are written that, um, a lot of
times the individuals get elevated. But I would say that,

(04:40):
you know, one of the defining characteristics of being a
seal is that, uh, it's team first. And it's always
team first, whether we're on an operation, whether we're training,
everything is is framed around the team so much so
that when we talk about you know, when you hear
a seal talk about another sea all you don't say

(05:01):
that guy is really bigger, is really stronger, is a
really great shot. You if someone is vouching for another seal,
they say that he's a good team guy. And that
is what are our community is all about. And I think,
you know, we try to espouse and really live this
this mindset and this ethos of being quiet professionals. And
you elevate the team over the self. And I think

(05:21):
it's it's an important thing to focus on now because
one of the things that we rely on, and I
think that individuals that are listening to this can rely on,
is really under times of stress, um, when you feel
especially now with social distancing and being isolated, when you
feel that you are really um taking an undo load,

(05:42):
or you're or you're having to endure something that um
just as you stuck in your own kind of world
and you're not able to break out of it. What
we do is we focus on other people, right, And
so when the when the pain and the suffering, when
the misery reaches an extreme, or when the ambiguity reaches
a place where we find ourselves uncomfortable, hard default is
to focus on other people in the team. How can

(06:05):
I serve their needs? How can I lift them up?
Because by doing so, it not only gets me out
of my head, it makes that person better and in
turn they reflect that back onto me. And so, um,
it's interesting. You know, one of and I'm sure your
listeners all are all familiar with kind of seal training,
and the first part of seal training really is is
this program called Buds Basic Underwater Demolition School SO BUDS

(06:27):
is approximately about seven months long UM, and around the
seventh or eight week of BUDS you go through this
you go through this week known as Hell Week, and
so Hell Week, Uh, it's really kind of a crucible,
defining event for this first part of seal training, and
it's where we we lose most of the people that
have decided, hey, they want to be seals and they

(06:48):
want to commit to this training program. The training program,
by the way, it's a volunteer program, so you may
start with two people that start in a class. My
particular class, we went into how week with around a
d it in fifty people of the two twenty that
started training, and then out of how Week we came
we came out of Hell Week with thirty six UM.

(07:08):
And Hell Week is you're you're awake, you're cold, you're wet,
you're running everywhere with log carrying telephone poles, you've got
a boat on your head. Uh. You don't sleep really
for about five and a half days. There's a couple
of hours of sleep that you get on the third
of the fourth day, but it's broken up in the
kind of thirty minute chunks and it's it's less about
giving you an opportunity to recover. It's more about inducing stress,

(07:31):
and it's more about inducing stress around waking you up
and putting you back in the ocean. Um. But one
thing that you know, I think it's interesting and it's
it's it's kind of relevant here to this this kind
of principle of focusing on others, is that one of
the worst places to be during how week is running
with this carrying this boat on your head. So you're
broken up and the boat cruise of six people, um,

(07:51):
and you run everywhere with this rubber boat on your head,
and it's you know, the boat is probably a hundred
hundred pounds, but sometimes it gets filled with sand or
water and so it increases gets heavier as you go
through the week. Um. But depending upon where you're out
in the boat, if you're up front the it's it's
not the number one position. It's really really stressful. You're

(08:11):
taking a really a very big load and it's hard
on your neck, it's hard on your head. The boat's
bouncing around like a jackhammer. Here in the back of
the boat, it's a little bit easier and um. But
one of the things that that we that we focus
on is when you're in the boat crew, it's really
being mindful of how everyone is doing under the boat
amidst the chaos and this boat bouncing and kind of
racing from evolution evolution, How are people doing? How can

(08:34):
I rotate? How can I take a strain when someone
else may not be able to take a strain, And
you know, just kind of that effect of being under
the boat and that kind of pressure. It's not unlike
what we're seeing with coronavirus today. Right, We're all in
a stressful environment. We're all taking you know, loads, whether
you know me personally, I'm working from home these days.
I've got nine month old twins, my my wife is

(08:56):
at home, or nanny who comes a few days a
week is being quarantine because she was exposed. And so
we're really kind of our small apartment gets smaller by
the day. We're all in the thick of this. Other
people are experiencing similar situations um and the stress can
put you in a place where you can start truly
focusing on your own suffering, your own misery, and your

(09:16):
own circumstance. And the best way to get out of
that is really to be in action and in service
to others. So can you can you do something for
a neighbor, can you reach out to someone uh and
and do a favor over the phone, or can you
find small ways to get into action and get into
service of others? For me personally, and I think most
people that go through seal training would a test to
the same fact that it's always easier if you're focused

(09:39):
on others. So, um that that's kind of one thing
that we lead onto it. I'll pause for if you
have any questions or thought on that. Yeah, A man,
I love it, um one. I just admire team people.
I just I think the the collective purpose of the
group is and just being part of something greater than
yourself is so powerful. And so I love what you've

(10:01):
that whole thing of what you said right there. And
I also love how you said can I take a strain?
Can I? I'm thinking about applying this to people at
home right now, Like, say somebody is lifting a load
that's really heavy at home. Maybe one parent is like
schooling the kids and has been for the two weeks
they've been at home, Like can the other parents suband
or do you create something where um, like you said,

(10:22):
the rotation under the boat where somebody carries the heavier
load at the front and then has to rotate to
the back enlighten the load. UM. I want people at
this time to think creatively also on how they can
help and how they can serve. So just because just
it's eerie. Man. Then the other day, Pat, I went
to the grocery store, and it's just an eerie feeling

(10:44):
of like people wanting for themselves and they've now had
to implement UM rules at grocery stores. You can only
get two eggs, you can only get two milks, this
kind of stuff. Um, there's a really eerie feeling that
they got a people just wanting for themselves and have
tried to encourage people and still digitally on my platform

(11:05):
and using this podcast, there's still ways that you can
help and impact and serve people. UM, people within your
own home, but still outside of that, and I just
love I just want to dive more into that team,
that team and ship, that partnership, UM, and how maybe
couples at home, maybe a husband and wife, how they
can sort of rotate in and out of duties or

(11:27):
anything like that that you can give to our audience. UM,
to help make the burden at home lighter and actually
more enjoyable. Yeah, I love that you're you're talking about
being in the in the grocery store and kind of
experiencing that. I live in Los Angeles as well, and
I've noticed it over the last couple of weeks. Um,

(11:47):
you go, if it's you know, you going to the
farmer's market, or you're in a grocery store, you're even
you're just out walking, there's this heightened sense of anxiety
and stress. You can just it's it's palpable, and I
think it speaks to the fact that people, most people
aren't used to being in a test of this nature. Right. Typically,
when we take a test, um, it's bounded. We know, okay,

(12:10):
these are this is what I'm going to be measured against.
This is how I perform on this test. I've prepared
for it, and it's an hour long, or it's over
the course of a game over, it's over the course
of this particular business meeting. We're used to these bounded
kind of testing experiences, but it's a little bit of
an unnerving circumstance for people to be in a situation
where there's so much ambiguity and and you don't really

(12:32):
have a sense of like, wow, how can I control this?
And so people default to well, you know, almost like
this primal nature of where, all right, I've got to
get grab everything I can, even if that means I
bring home. If you roll with the toilet paper, I
don't know. I can't eat toilet paper, but it's the
thing that I can do. So I'm gonna grab much
of toilet paper where I'm gonna you know, it's it's
funny to see. It's not funny, it's it's interesting to

(12:55):
see people react to stress in different ways, right because
the stress that I felt under the boat or overseas
physiologically is no different than the stress people are feeling now,
um stuck at home rate, you know, homeschooling kids, trying
to trade off duties support their spouse. It's no different
than you know, people in the grocery store that feel like, oh,

(13:15):
I need to gather everything I can so that I
could potentially hunker down and isolate for the for the
next few weeks. So I just, you know, and it's
it's important to recognize that, hey, you have to you know,
I understand what teams you're a part of and and
think about how you can serve them past. Right, And
so if that team is your most immediate team, is

(13:36):
your spouse, your partner, your immediate family, how can you
be in service to them? Right? If you're if you
if you start opening the aperture, opening the rings out. Well,
the next kind of team that I'm on is actually
the apartment building I live. And there's a woman Dolores,
who is eighty three years old that's lived here for
thirty years, and um, she's a part of my team. Right.

(13:56):
What can I do for Dolores and reach out to
her and offer some form of service to let her
know that, hey, she is on my team, even if
she doesn't realize that, I'm letting her know you're on
my team. Or when I'm walking to the market or
I'm in the grocery store, even little things like making
eye contact and smiling to people and greeting them and
saying hello and just those little those little moments of

(14:18):
connection and calm that you can insert into someone's life,
um is a service and is as a way of
letting them know, Hey, we're on the same team and
we're in this together, and this is you know, how
we should move through this effectively. It was interesting. I
was at the Sorry not to go on a tangent,
but I was at the farmer's market. Um a couple
of days ago. My wife sent me on a run
to grab some food for our nine month olds. And

(14:41):
we're standing in line for eggs and there was a
woman in front of me. And they're really strict right
now at the farmer's market. They have chalk lines every
six feet and they want people to maintain their distance.
And the woman in front of me was, you know,
on her chalkol line. I was on my chalk line,
but the woman in front of her was a little
bit older. She was on her chalk line, but she
was you just tell she was specially stressed. And she

(15:02):
kept yelling at the woman in front of me, saying, hey,
get away, you keep your distance, stay away from me.
And she was clear like she in her mind she
was in the thick of an immediate fight. There was
a clear and present danger and she was trying to
do what do what she could do to control the situation. Now,
the woman next to me that was that was receiving
these kind of comments from this woman took it in

(15:23):
a way that said, like who is who are you?
You're being irrational and crazy and like I'm standing on
my chalk line. You're standing on your chalk line. And
she kind of reacted in this a little bit of
a defensive way. And what I told her was, I said,
I said, hey, listen, like that woman, that's that's that's
saying this to you. She is under a threat and
she has to live with that, right, and so let's
figure out way that we can make her feel better,

(15:44):
because it's gonna make everyone feel better. So we all
moved back a chalk line, gave her some spade. Again.
It's a small thing, uh, And service and serving the
teams and serving the communities doesn't have to take these
really big things. They can come in small moments, and
these small moments, these small interactions add up and they
make a big difference. And to bring it back to
your original question, I was, you know, my wife and

(16:07):
I again in a small place with raising kind of
young girls, and uh, there's just a heightened level of
stress even in our place. And I feel like we're
pretty we have a pretty good um team, and we
we respond pretty well to stress, and we're really good communicators.
But even still, I can sense when my wife is

(16:27):
at the breaking point, and I can do a little
thing like I can I can tell the meeting that
the team if I'm on with work, I say, hey,
give me two minutes. I'm gonna be right back, And
I can walk over my wife and say hey, honey,
just go walk up or go for a walk around
the block, like I got this for these next two minutes.
And she knows that, hey, I have stress and eye
requirements for work that I can't just totally cut off.

(16:49):
I have to continue to service those things. But even
a little a little act like that to her lets
her know that like, oh yeah, my teammate's got my
back and he's what he can with with you know,
the time and the space that he has, And a
little thing like that, she can go out for a
quick walk, come back and like she's energy and she
feels better. And the crazy thing is like I feel better,

(17:11):
Like I feel more resilient because like, oh, I did
a small thing of service, even though it's, you know,
seemingly inconsequential, it makes a big difference. Um so big time,
big time, Like any sort of giving energetically you just
received tenfold, just the energy of a give you know.
So I love that. I also love what you touched on.
You said, um, pat that people are really nervous and

(17:35):
anxious and stressed out, Like how do I control this?
Like this is so unpredictable. Is it gonna be two weeks?
Is it gonna be two months? You know? Is it
gonna be six months? We have no idea. I love
what you've done. You've created this program called made for.

(17:56):
I want to touch on that now. Made for it's
a ten month program that lies the principles of modern neuroscience, psychology, physiology, UM,
to help make your brain and body better. But you
guys do it through the importance of focusing on simple
things that can drastically help you gain control in your life. So, UM,
I want you to walk us through what those simple

(18:18):
things are made for because if we hear that, like
we're all going through stress, We're all going to the
lady you spoke of at the farmer's market, Like everybody's
under this stress and some it's affecting people more than others. Um,
but what are some of the baseline things, the fundamental
basic things that everybody anybody listening to this can start

(18:41):
and applying in their homes, say, say, things are getting
really wildly out of control, They're really stress, they're really anxious.
How can we help calm those people down and help
them gain control of their life again? What are some
simple things to do that? Yeah, it's it's a it's
a great question, and I'll talk about made for a
little bit, but for there are Our lead scientific advisor

(19:03):
is a gentleman named Andrew Huberman UM. He runs the
Huberman Lab out of Stanford Universities and neuroscientists and in
addition to being our our lead advisor, he's a he's
a close friend and um and kind of thought partner
in a lot of what we're doing and just in
general kind of on kind of the work that we do.

(19:23):
Andrew and I we talk a lot about this, like
what what can you do when you're under stress and
you feel like you're losing control? And it's interesting the
there's there's definitely some overlap in what I draw on
from my experience in the teams in terms of what
we do when when stress starts to become a little
bit overwhelming and we feel like we're we're losing control

(19:46):
a little bit and that matches very well with what
the neuroscience says, like how do you engage the circuits
of control in your brain um, and what's going on there?
And so one of the things we talked about is
if you feel like you're was in control, if you
if you just come off of watching a press conference
and you're like, man, I feel like I know less
than I knew when that press conference started, or I

(20:08):
feel like, um, I just you know, it's uncertain what's
going on with work, and I don't understand what's going
on with the grocery store, and like there's just so
much going on that's beyond my control. The most important
thing that you can do, UM, I fundamentally believe this
from my time in the teams. And Andrew Say would
agree with this from the neuroscience angle. The most fundamental
thing that you can do, that you do something and

(20:29):
that you take action, whatever action that may be, however small.
That step is get into action and get out of
kind of thinking about because if you're if you get
stuck in this cycle of of thought and I don't
have control, I don't have control, I don't have control,
that becomes a little bit of a vicious cycle and
it becomes harder to break. But simply by getting into

(20:51):
action and literally it can be the smallest thing. It
could be, you know, Admiral mccraven says, you know, start
your day by making your bed. But it could be
as simple as I know I can make a pot
of coffee. I know I can do a load of laundry.
I know I can give my wife a hug. I
know that I can go for a walk around the block.
I know I can go outside and get two minutes
of sunshine in the morning. Whatever the act is, simply

(21:14):
by engaging something with intention and awareness that you're asserting
control engages your control circuits and allows you to not
only increase your increase your perception and ability to control things, um,
but it actually allows you to control things more. So
you may start with a load of laundry, or start
by hugging your wife, or start by going for a walk.

(21:36):
But that leads to the next thing, leads to the
next thing, leads to the next thing. We're very quickly
you're out of this mode where you're back on your
heels and kind of received to your center of gravity
is forward. You're leaning in your asserting control and you
just start um reasserting kind of confidence and so that
I think that is probably one of the most important
things you can do if you feel like you're losing control.

(21:58):
As we think about Made for and what we do
with Made For, so Andrew talks about UM Andrews Humman
again or neuroscientists and lead adviser Made For. Andrew talks
about this concept of neuroplasticity, this idea that your brain
is malleable over your entire life, and you can you
can shape it or to your benefit, or you can

(22:20):
shape it to your detriment, depending upon how you how
you engage it, and how you leverage it. And so
they're really two ways over the course of your life
to UM to create brain change. In leveraging this concept
of neuroplasticity, one is by having a short intense experience, right,
something that can be um tremendously positive or can be

(22:41):
tremendously traumatic. Right. It could be I was in a
bad car accident, I lost a family member, uh, or
it can be, hey, I just gave birth to a child,
or I just you know, um, uh, you know, had
a really positive experience to my wife, whatever, whatever the
thing is, I'm very short. Duration. Intense experience is a

(23:02):
one way to rewire the brain um and the effects
of it can last um for a long period of time. Young.
The other way is really by taking small steps done
with intention and awareness over time, and that really is
the model that made for falls into So our program
is ten months long. Each month we deliver um a kit. Uh,

(23:25):
we deliver a kid. Two people inside the kid is
the relevant science, a tool that someone might use, and
kind of a challenge designed around what's the smallest fundamental
thing we can get you to do well? You will
recognize a benefit of your actions, right, and so these
are very simple things. We focus on what we call
them baseline elevating practices, These things that habits of kind

(23:46):
of body and mind that not only increase your capacity
to do that thing well, but increase your capacity across
multiple domains of your life. So we look at, you know,
for example, we look at gratitude, we look at movement,
we look at exposure in a your social connection, breathwork,
all of these things that you intuitively know are good
for you and that engaging them makes you feel better.

(24:10):
But for whatever reason, you've lost touch with right. Yeah, well,
just especially now, like a lot of those things that
I think people people have a I mean, we're practicing
social distancing, but that doesn't mean our lives stop. You know,
like you you told your if you can go out
and go for a walk around the block. Yesterday I
went for a five hour hype with my dog where
I saw one person in four hours. I was completely

(24:30):
removed um from society. I mean, there's still ways to
continue your life. You just have to be a little
more creative. But like I'm reading your list here of
the things that you touched on. You said gratitude, you
said being in nature, connection, breathwork, hydration, rest, fuel, clarity, vision, movement,
all of those things. I think, like you said, I

(24:52):
think people need to intentionally put these things into their
lives in new and unique ways that maybe they couldn't before.
You know, you can go to the gym. Now you
can't go to the GM. Gyms are closed here in
l A. So but how can you still move within
the space um that you have where you currently live,

(25:13):
whether it's a house, whether it's apartment. How can you
be creative and move in there? How can you have
gratitude when you can be up talking to people all
the time. How can you still have gratitude, um and
pass on giving or gratitude to others? How can you
get proper rest? You know, at this time we should
be getting more rest than ever before. Um. I love

(25:34):
to love, you know. And hydration. I mean, man, I'm
looking at this list, and you know what I'm thinking of, Pat,
I'm thinking of We create as a professional athlete, and
I'm a million percent sure as a Navy seal you
create good habits one because they're good, but to they're
a great fallback in a time of stress or anxiety

(25:58):
or uncertainty. And do that as an individual athlete, and
we do that collectively as a team. We have systems,
we have structures, we have set plays. Now within that
we're going to have creativity. But if things start going
awry and and things are falling apart a little bit,
we always have this thing to come back for. So

(26:20):
like personal habits, for me, preparing for a game, I
prepared for the game the same way. So whether it
was the first game of the year or the biggest
game seven Stanley Cup Playoffs, biggest magnitude game of the year,
my heart didn't change, you know. So so when an
unpredictable circumstance came. I had habits that could make me

(26:40):
feel comfortable, prime me, get me ready to go, um
and just ease that sort of anxiety and uncertainty a
little bit. And that's why this list, this made for lists,
these ten things that you have on your get made
for dot com for our listeners, you can check this out. Um,
I just think it's perfect. I think it's a great
found and layer for people to regain control of their

(27:03):
lives right now. Yeah, No, I love it. I love
how you framed it. It's um, there's that a whole mantra. Right.
You don't rise to the you don't rise to the occasion,
You fall to the level of your training. Right. And
so for you as a as a form of professional athlete,
you you had such a solid foundation that you've built

(27:24):
that compelled you to excellence when you were on the ice, right,
you cultivated a mindset of excellence and you were your
excellence that and every your performance on the ice came
not a result of anything magical you did on the ice,
but rather the mountain of work that you put in
underneath that. Like, the byproduct of having that solid foundation

(27:44):
is how you showed up on the ice, and that
carries over into how you live your life. I'm certain
of it because I mean, I just I know your mindset,
and I know kind of I feel like I know
your mindset because I know the type of person you are.
That you're a type of person. My sense is, um,
that is always on a growth trajectory, right, You're never
comfortable being static and and and that you use whatever

(28:08):
the experience to grow from. And I think it's especially
imperative right now that you know. And I don't want
to in any way minimize the very real challenges that
people are dealing with. People are losing their jobs, people
have family members that are dying, people are going to
the hospital, and all of those are very real. Um
and and my just my heart goes out to people

(28:29):
experiencing that. But I would say for the majority of
your listeners and the majority of us that are are
still trying to are not quite dealing with the acute
phase of this, but are trying to manage. The challenge
associated with with coronavirus is that this can be an
opportunity for growth. What you have to see it, and
you have to decide how you're going to grow through

(28:50):
this experience and growth from this experience doesn't mean doesn't
have to mean all right, I'm going to learn a
language or take up guitar. I'm gonna you know, give
in the best shape of my life growth and simply mean,
what are small positive pursuits that I can take every day?
They're going to help me bring my best to the world. Right,
That's how we think about it, right, For like, we

(29:10):
have this kind of this this mantra that a better
world begins with the best you. But the best to
you is not someone that just shows up one day
and like, hey, you've arrived. The best you comes from
the small little things you do every day. So that's
that's kind of how we think about it. But I
love how I love how you framed it, and the
fundamentals matter. I mean, that's you know, in the Seal Teams,
when you find yourself under really heightened levels of stress,

(29:35):
you notice that, hey, very quickly, your your gross motor
skills or or your fine motor control starts to degrade.
That you're even you know, just ability to kind of
control your voice and your tone. You start to get
a little bit or you can get a little bit sluggish,
and really when that happens, you have to fall back
on fundamentals. Right, How How am I using my breath

(29:59):
to kind of regulate my mind and my body? How
am I? Um? You know, how am I? How am
I gratitude? How can I? How am I finding a
silver lining in this moment of like extreme stress or
dress or like these very simple things? Uh matter? So? Um, yeah,
I don't know. I I geek out about the fundamentals
all day long. I think they're they're too often overlooked,

(30:21):
and I think, um, often times, you know, people, it's
very easy. Look, here's the deal. Like, if I wanted
to have a successful company and guarantee success, I would
auto up some pills. I would slop and tried and
audit and I would say like, hey, this is your
pill that's going to give you success. And I could
sell a lot of them and it would be very easy.

(30:41):
But that's just not the kind of person I am.
And like, you know, it may work for someone for
a week, but in the long run, it's going to
do more harm than it does good. I think there
are so many bads and gimmicks and like hacks out
there that you know, it's that people get skip bombarded
with a lot of like marketing stuff, and my message
is like that, it's not that, hey, you need to
go by you need to join our program and try

(31:03):
made for I would love it if you checked it out.
But the message really is like, think about the fundamental
essential elements like strip away all the branding and all
the marketing, and like, ultimately, what is someone telling you
to do and be self aware enough to note that
action that you're taking worthy of your time and is
it making you better? Is it making you feel better?
Is it making you show up better in the relationships

(31:24):
in your life that matter? Is it making you more
intentional and how you're moving through your day? You know,
That's that's how I think about it. And apologize again,
I could geek out about this all day. Lef uh Pat,
you're speaking my language, man, I mean that's why. If
you look at my Netflix right now, dude, it's every
single Special Ops Navy seal that's all I've been watching.
I'm just a huge fan of And here's why. Truthfully,

(31:47):
why because you guys are the pinnacle. You're the tip
of the sword. You know, you're the peak of the
mountain and the way you got there was from small
little efforts. You didn't just jump up there, you know,
you didn't just arrive there and become overnight this overnight success.
And it's the same as an athlete. And we had

(32:08):
this quote. I wrote it down right here because I
wanted to share with our listeners. We had this up
in our locker room so that this was in front
of our eyes every single day. It's a Robert Collier quote,
and it says success is the sum of small efforts,
repeated day in and day out. And it's how I
feel about you guys. That's why I have an admiration
for you guys. And it was one of the things

(32:30):
I was most proud of in my career as a
professional athlete. Is it wasn't that I had these I
didn't just acquire or wasn't burnt or born with these
world class skills. I made incremental, incremental improvements every single day.
And I always said about myself, I was the best
at getting better. That's how I looked at myself as

(32:51):
an athlete. I was the best at getting better as
every day I made improvements that led to just an
amazing abundance of ability in the sport. Of hockey and
what you guys do as Navy seals and um. And
so when I think about people, if I can, because
we you and I both believe we're not we're not here.
It's not a quick fix. You know, we're not going

(33:13):
to solve all your problems right now. You're not gonna
just a one eight in your life. But what you
can do are some of the things, some little things
that are gonna start showing up every day in your life.
I'm a huge proponent of rest, Like I'm a huge advocate.
I always say rest as a weapon. The first thing
I asked when people are they say their lives out
of control. They say they're not healthy, they don't energetically

(33:35):
feel well. My first question is how are you sleeping?
You know when you wake up in the morning. So
for our listeners, if you I'm I'm fearful that people
are sitting at home binge watching Netflix until like two
in the morning, and then they wake up and I
feel like crap. Um, My wife and I we go
to bed at nine o'clock nine fifteen, we get nine

(33:55):
hours and of sleep, and it's like six o'clock six fifteen.
We're waking up ready to poll because we've prioritized our rest.
Um drinking just drinking enough water is a very simple thing.
Um all right now, I have my Getty or my Yetti,
I have my sums jugged with me sitting right here
on the on the desk because I'm doing this chat
with you, um drinking water. Rest. And also I think

(34:19):
this time, I think it's equally important as ever for
people to continue to dream, you know, as you the
growth mindset, Like, I don't think we put our lives
on pause here, and I think the people that are
doing that are somewhat struggling. But the people that are
using this, as you said, as an opportunity, I believe

(34:39):
everything is an opportunity. Right now is the most unique
opportunity maybe we've ever had in our lives. Two. I
think so much creation and greatness in the world is
going to come from this um clarity for our own
perspective of life, for what's important for our place in
the universe. Um Man, I'm geeking out on this right now.

(35:00):
Got me fired up. I love it. I love it.
It's so good. It's so good. Like also, just to
share what you talked about, I love what you said
is the first thing is like take action, any direction,
any action, you know, any port in the storm. Just start.
One of the things that I've really used this time
for is because we can't do a lot of things
were just inside the house. He can't be outside the

(35:20):
house doing things everywhere. I've really focused on pride of
work in everything I do. So even before this conversation,
reading you, reading articles that you spoke about your background,
being prepared for this conversation. But one area that I've
really done it in is cooking. I wasn't. I was

(35:42):
an awful cook path like I just terrible, just terrible. Um.
And now I'll spend like I'll spend an hour like
prepping ingredients, looking up recipes and it's it's really like
invigorated me and given me life in a new unique
way and an appre creation for food and for conscious
eating that I never had before. Some things in your

(36:05):
life that you are currently doing that are new opportunities
that you've never looked at, are given time to before. Yeah, man,
I got I love you brought up so much that
to just resonates, um it is. I'm very much in
the thick of it right now. I've got this company
that I'm working on I've got, um, these these twins

(36:28):
that I'm trying to raise, and I think that, and
then I'm trying to be a good husband um to
my wife. And so it's I will tell you, there
are every day I wake up and I'm not sure
if my head is above or below water, but I'm
fairly certain I'm still swimming, and I'm just like, okay,
I'm still swimming. Like it's still good. But what I

(36:49):
find is that where I'm really trying to um to
grow is in just being present with my my wife
and children, to really maintain some some sacred time where
it's just them and I'm fully immersed in it. And
it doesn't mean I mean it could it could be
as you know, it could be bast time, it could

(37:10):
be during meal time, it could be you know, when
one baby is kind of rolling around and poop is
going everywhere, and like really just trying to like be
present for these moments because like they're they're fleeting, right,
They're gonna pass, and like very soon a week is
going to turn into a month, it's gonna turn into
a few years, and like these I'm not going to
get these moments back. So that's really where I am

(37:30):
investing my time is to try to be present with
my wife. It's interesting and and and my kids. It's
interesting that you brought up cooking. I have to make
a mention of my wife. We have we just started
sleeping again, maybe I guess a month and a half ago. Uh.
The first six seven months of raising these girls there
first has been has induced a level of stress that

(37:53):
was kind of born to us before. I think, you know,
we didn't recognize just how much raising twins it's going
to take out of us. But the thing that my
wife has been like pinning her hopes on was she
had a birthday a couple of weeks ago, and like her,
her big reward was she this past week was going
to go to a cooking camp and just be by
herself and do some self care and learn how to cook,

(38:13):
because she, like you, is kind of just rediscovering this
passion for cooking. And unfortunately, coronavirus turned that off and
she's not there. And so it's been it's been amazing
to watch her her resilience in bouncing back from you know,
having this like perfect that was good. That was the
finished line that she was moving towards at least in
the in the short term, that like all of a sudden,

(38:35):
got pushed a lot farther out, And just watching her
respond to that has been She's done it with such grace,
and I just, you know, I find uh, I find
so much inspiration in how she kind of moves through
the day and she, Um, she doesn't care at all
that I was a Navy seal. Um. She she just
demands that I show up every day and that that
I served her and these kids. So I'm kind of

(38:57):
rambling there, but I don't know, I just wanted to
put a knot out there her. I think I think
presence is one of the single most underrated things in life,
just truly in life, especially in a relationship like true presence. Um.
That's one thing actually too that I'm working on right now.
I used to, Pat, I used to like eat breakfast

(39:19):
and read at the same time. Or I used to
I would always be doing something. I'd be doing yardwork,
listening to a podcast. So try and maximize. I'm a
growth mindset guy, right just like you are. We trying
to maximize our time. How much information can we digest?
How can we better our lives? How can we do
in a week what other people would do in a month. Um.
And what I found was like, that's putting me under

(39:40):
some anxiety and some stress. And there's just too much
stimulation in my life. And so one thing I'm trying
to work on is doing one thing at a time.
You know. So when I eat, I want to consciously
eat and like and just absorb the nourishment of the food,
would be grateful for the food and then move on
to whatever I'm doing next and just be presn't in

(40:00):
that And presence in a conversation means you're not on
your phone. Presence in a task means you're solely focused
on the task. And I've just I've seen the quality
of of my work, of my performance when training, of
my communication. Um just I've seen it all elevate just

(40:21):
by simply being president focusing on that task at hand.
It's one thing I love that you put on it too.
It's it's massive, I mean, there is It's very easy
to internalize this idea that busy is progress, that if
we have lots of things going on, we're making measurable progress.
And I think that I think it's I think it's

(40:42):
smoke and mirrors, it's not a real thing, right, And
so presence, real presence and being intentionally focused on immersed
in whatever it is that you're doing and maximizing it's
getting the most out of that experience. That's really how
you how you make progress and how you you know,
Andrew likes to say the are these are stairs not trampolines, right,
It's one step at a time, and it's just such

(41:05):
a it's just such a great visual, right, Like trampolines
aren't useful, right. You hear these people chasing kind of
flow states and peak experiences and like coming off of
whatever thing and like they trampolined up. They saw it
for a little bit and they come back down and
then they're looking for the next trampoline. And that's that's
no way to live, right, And that's not what you
want to do. Is it's kind of adopt enduring practices

(41:26):
mindset small steps and cultivate a momentum and a mindset
that kind of compels, you know, propels you forward. And
I think presence, just being present in whatever it is
you're doing, is a huge part of that. So I
love that, I love that you're that you're doing that
as well. It's very cool. Um, we've had you for
forty five minutes. I don't want to keep you for

(41:46):
too long because I know you've got two young ones
and your wife and a company to run everything. But
i'd love to You've touched on two things that I
just want to get just I'm trying to pull as
much value as I can right now. UM. And honestly note,
I'd love to meet you in person path and just
have a full on discussion about like the Navy seal experience. UM,
but you touched on two things for our audience to

(42:06):
get started right now. For people that are in a rut,
one take action in any direction. Just decide that you're
gonna put one foot forward in whatever, UM practice. It
could be a personal development practice. It could be I'm
gonna do laundry to I'm gonna make the bed this morning,
I'm gonna connect with my spouse, I'm gonna make a
phone call to somebody, anything like that. So start one

(42:28):
take action to be more present. Those are two ways
that are very easy to start, that are gonna take
that are going to improve the quality of people's lives.
What are like three, four and five that you think
could really again basic things that you think really will
help people in this time? Is it rest is being

(42:50):
in nature? Like? What other three? What are three, four
and five that you think our listeners could really use
it this time? So I so I think three principles
to lean on this concept of you know, if you're
feeling isolated, focus on others, right, Um, figure out how
you can be in service to others. Uh. If you're
feeling like you have a like you're losing control and um,

(43:12):
you're a little bit on more, take action. Uh, just
by taking action in whatever form at whatever size, is
going to give you confidence and allow you to reassert control.
And the third piece, um, the third kind of principle
or mindset that I would lean on is if you're
feeling a sense of overwhelmed, that there is just too
much going on for you to for you to deal

(43:33):
with and you just don't know where to start move
the finish line right if if if the finished line
for you right now is hey, I've got to I've
got to How am I going to get through the
rest of this year? How am I going to get
through the rest of you know, the semester with my
my kids at home and homeschooling, and that's just too
much to think about. Move that, move that finished line
in a little bit closer to a place where you

(43:55):
feel comfortable that you can progress to, and then when
you get to that spot, you can move the finish
line again. It's a it's a technique that we use
in the teams and training and operations, and I think
it's really really valuable. And you know, there's lots of
ways to deliver that same message, but I like this
kind of concept of moving the finish line in terms
of steps, concrete steps that you can do. I would say,

(44:16):
you know, sleep is critical, and just I sleep and
recovery right, making sure that you're taking time, you know,
it's important I think to view this challenge as an
opportunity and find ways to grow in the face of
the challenging circumstance that we find ourselves in, but also
take time for self care. And if that means for
you that like, hey, today you just can't and you

(44:37):
are going to take a nap, or you're going to
go to bed at nine o'clock and you're gonna turn
off Netflix and and read a book and just kind
of power down for a little bit do that. It's
important that you um that you care for your body
in that way. It will just allow you to show
up better for yourself and others the next day and
every day going forward. And recognize that we're not in
a sprint. We're in a marathon and maybe even ultramaterathon.

(44:58):
So rest is important. The other thing that I think
is really important, Uh, it's just movements, right. And you
notice that I don't say I don't say exercise, I
don't say training, and it's there's take the performance aspect
of it out of it. Just move your body, even
if that means going for a walk, or if it
means you know, standing up in your living room and
kind of bouncing around and kind of sensing into where

(45:19):
you're holding stress and trying to release stress and like
roll around on the floor. It doesn't have to be
complicated to make a difference. But make sure that you're
moving your body every day. I can't it's hard to
overstress how important that is from a band brain chemistry standpoint,
but also just from a physical health and how do
you show up? And then I think, you know the
last thing is we we have this. You know, it's

(45:41):
very humans are amazing at normalizing uh, their circumstances, right,
And so when we normalize the situation, we can go
on autopilot, right, And so we maybe you went to
the grocery store and all they had was jump food
and whatever, like you just grab as much you can
and you brought it home. And you're sitting at home,
and because you're stuck at home your board, and you're

(46:02):
just constantly kind of like you know, eating and maybe
eating things that you wouldn't ordinarily eat. I would just say,
you know, focus on or think about and be present
enough to know what you're putting in your body and
how it's affecting you. And and you notice I'm not
saying like eat fruits and vegetables and nuts and like
avoid this and avoid that. That's not what I'm saying
at all. I'm just saying, be present to what you're

(46:24):
putting in your body and how it's affecting you. And
if you can have that subtle shift and awareness, I
think it'll play. It'll pay dividends for you, both in
your energy levels and how you're showing up, but also
how you're kind of responding to the stress that you're feeling.
Um alread these times, so that that I think those
are promised some things that I would think about it
and that anyone could put into action at this time.

(46:45):
It's certainly things that we that we lean into in
the teams. Where can people find made for? Can you
talk about that for people that because you do a
ten month program like a more elaborate right now, we're
trying to give snack able, bite size things to people
that are listening. But for people that are listening like, yeah,

(47:07):
it's time for me to take action. I want to
improve the quality of my life. I want to be
in on this program. Where can people find made for? Yeah?
Thank thank you for asking for asking the question. That
our website is www dot get made for dot com,
g E T M A D E f O R
dot com. You can find us there. You can follow

(47:28):
us on Instagram um at made for or you can
find me on Instagram pat Underscore made for um and
so you can you can sign up there, learn more
about learn more about us on our website or uh,
you know, reach out to us on social and I'm
happy to answer any questions uh that people may have
UM and also for your listeners. You know, it's interesting

(47:49):
we did not design Made for for coronavirus. We didn't
know that this was happening. We designed made for to
give people sustainable practices of habit and mind of mindsets
that they can uh, that they can take on and
that will help them bring your best to the world. Uh.
And we did this wide way before Corona showed up.
But it so happens that now with people isolating, whether

(48:10):
they're you know, it's your company that um, everyone's working
from home, or just people are distancing in general, we
kind of end up having the perfect product for the
perfect time and that you know, we send kids to
your home. We give you the steps and the tools
and the science that you need to uh to adopt
these practices and um and we kind of put you
on the to put you on a long game, like
we're gonna take these stair steps over ten months to

(48:33):
get you in a place uh, just kind of bringing
your best self to the world. So, if your listeners
are interested in Made for when you want to check
us out our website and you ultimately decide you wanna,
you wanna, um, you want to join and become a member,
we have my team sent me a code to share
with your members. If that's okay. UM, it's just it's uh.
It's m F thinking. UH is the code and so

(48:56):
if when you're when you're checking out made for on
our website, enter the code MF thinking at check out
and that will give you off the monthly or the
all in program. The program is designed as ten months
and each month builds on itself. But understand that, you know,
sometimes people don't want to fully commit, and so if
you want to try it just for a month, you

(49:17):
can do one month at a time and there's no strings,
you can you can drop at any time. So um, listen,
Hey Brooks, really enjoyed being here. Thank you so much
for giving me a form to kind of talk about
some of this stuff. And I love what you do
and kind of how you talk about showing up in
the world. I think it really matters. Um. I hope
people adopt some of the some of the things that
you're putting out there. And UH, I look forward to

(49:38):
uh to grabbing a beer or getting together sometime soon. Dude. Why,
I just want to say thank you so one, thank
you so much for coming on. Pat. I appreciate it,
and I would love to grab a beer and just
pick your brain and hear all the stories in the training.
I just love I have such an admiration for what
you guys do, what you're capable of doing. And even
at the start of the show you said, these are

(49:59):
just ordinary people that are just find ways they build
have us to do extraordinary things. Um, So I'd love
to have a chat with you one on on just
in real life. And then to thank you so much
for offering our our community the MF Thinking promo code
for get made for dot com. We always try and
leverage our platform, leverage this podcast to make UM healthy,

(50:23):
more inspiring, living, fitness, wellness, anything that we can do
personal growth, more affordable for people, and especially at this
time right people are seeking this kind of thing and
are maybe under some economic stress and if you're able
to provide that for our community, man Um, yes, I
look forward to the opportunity to be able to serve
your mission, um, just because you've done such a service

(50:46):
for myself and for our audience or how many think
audience today. So um, thank you so much, pat for
people that love you. I mean, we just did get
made for dot com. But where can people find you?
My friend? Are you on social media? Any where where
can people get more of your personal story? I am yeah,
you can. You can find me pat Underscore made for UM.

(51:09):
That's on Instagram. My team's teach me about social media
and how it works. So I guess it's at pat
Underscore Underscore made for You can find me there, and UH, yeah,
you know we I look forward to uh engaging with
with anyone who's got questions or or you know whatever,
whatever however I can be of service. I think you
know it's it's so important. You know, you can do

(51:30):
made for you can't do made for whatever. But the
very basic things that that Brooks, what you're talking about
here and kind of what we talked about today. Everyone
has this ability inside them, and you can you have
this capacity inside you. It's just a matter of using
some very simple steps and practices to kind of um
to kind of activate you your innate ability to to

(51:52):
achieve excellence and to and to bring your best self
to the world. So I look forward to, uh Brooks,
look forward to link it up in person one of
these days, and UH look forward to continue the conversation.
Honestly a lot of fun. Take care of that family,
or stay active, stay safe and for all of our listeners.
Thanks for joining us. You guys, Stay active, stay stay
stay safe, take care of one another, love one another,

(52:14):
and we'll see you back here next week for another
episode of How Men Think. Pat You're awesome, dude. Probably
that was fun for an impromptu session. Everything everything, um, everything,
you're saying everything, like I'm on the main four website
right now. It's so it's so true, Like basic fundamentals, man,

(52:35):
that's just how we start team stuff. We start with that.
You just rely on that, that just becomes your It's
almost it's just second nature. You don't even think about that.
And sometimes, um, sometimes I've noticed that that I skip
to the more intricate and the more detailed stuff when
I'm trying to share and try and help people like
elevate the quality of their lives, because the habits and

(52:58):
the basic stuff are so habid true for me. But
then I have to go back. I'm like, this person
doesn't even sleep, like they barely even they don't even
meet breakfast before, or like they have no concept of
recovery or you know, and I'm like, wow, it's actually
the fundamental things that I was taught so long ago

(53:19):
that allowed me to build upon that and have success. Um,
so I love I love you people. Yeah you even
internalized all that. It's funny, like, you know, I might
say this on the on the on the podcast, but
like all the biggest, fastest, strongest guys that go into
seal training are oftentimes the first to quit um. And

(53:40):
you know, people have this sense of like what what
do the Navy seal looks like or what you know,
but they're always the first ones to quit, and it's
because they've always been used to leaning back on kind
of like they're you know, they're in eight talents and
you know, kind of what they were born with, and
they've never really been put outside their comfort zone. And
when they find themselves outside their comfort zone, it's a
very worn place for them to be in, like and

(54:00):
they pull. They don't know how to kind of respond
to that. But the people that you know are a
little bit comfortable being uncomfortable and have kind of cultivated
these very like basic foundational things are the ones that
end up you know, doing well and training and combat
and the teams and kind of moving forward. So yeah,
you know, it's it's funny, man. I Hey, just so

(54:22):
we like our first month is all about hydration, and
it's it's a little bit of the science of it's
like hydration, the science of like what's going on your
hydrating and how if you have a loss of total
body water you start to notice very real cognitive and
physical deficits. Like that's been proven out and lass and stuff.
But there's no like what size fits all approach, right,
there's no like any class of the water a day

(54:43):
or whatever. And so what we tell people is like, hey,
we're gonna give you this water bottle. It's got beads
on it. We want you to just track your water
for twenty one days, and every time you drink a bottle,
move a bead at the end of the day, of
record how many bottles you drank, and just make a
couple of sentences on like how you felt. And so
we're trying to make people present and aware to a
small thing that they're doing every day and how it's

(55:04):
affecting them and draw you know, make that connection a
little bit more robust between like and action you're taking
and how it's making you feel. And it's it'll blow
it would blow your mind by like the things people
come out of that month with they're like oh my god.
Like you know, I became aware about this and like
I stopped drinking cokes and now I'm exercising more. What
I'm doing this, I'm doing that, And like all we
did was tell people like trek your water like that's it.

(55:27):
So Um, the fundamentals matter, you know, every every everyone,
every professional knows that. But oftentimes the general public doesn't
know that because they get marketed so much bullshit, UM
that they don't. They lose sight of the fundamentals. So
I appreciate your brother. UM, I'll let you go pat
it please, UM let me know how I are we

(55:48):
the show can ever serve your mission further? UM, I
would love to meet you in real person having into
the studio. Just thank you so much for everything and
for the promo code. Man, thank you so much. Um,
I can't imagine today, think of business right now and
and people are already tight with their money and then
giving people a discount on it. I mean, just high

(56:09):
five to you man, Thank you so much. All good brother,
happy to do it. And uh yeah man, let's let's
connect one of these days when this this whole thing
settles out. We're we're in Santa Monica, so I'm sure
we're not too far away, but we're in the Hollywood Hills,
so yeah, we're not far at all. Okay to look
forward to it. Yeah, be safe, take care of cheers.

(56:34):
E Stone, you're still there. I'm here, Betty. Awesome. That
was a great episode. Man,