Slideeee into the DMs

We finally are giving answers to the ultimate how men think question...how do I slide in to his DM’s??!!

We have two experts to assist...

Well known Bachelor “flirt” Robby Hayes has a ton of good advice.

Then, the recipient of many a DM fail Paige Spiranac.

Learn from the best and let the dm’ing begin!

Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is How Men Think with broths Like and Gavin
to Grab and I Hear radio podcast. Welcome to another
episode of How Men Think. My name is brooks Like
and today we are going to have a lot of fun.
Today is a really fun episode. And sometimes our episodes
are are really thought provoking, really emotional, really deep. In

(00:22):
other days they're more playful, lighthearted and fun. Um and
that's going to be one of the episodes today. So
today we have two very special guests coming on with
us today, and we're talking about everybody's favorite topic, sliding
into the d MS. So we have someone starting with
one of our first guests here whose reputation for the

(00:44):
d m s precedes him. Um. But he is a
former uber competitive swimmer, actually tried out for the Olympics.
He's a American model and you probably best known him
as a reality TV star from Joejoe's season on the
Bachelorette and from Bachelor in Paradise. Mr Robbie Hayes, he's

(01:04):
with us today, Robbie, what's up, buddy? Hey guys, I'm good.
Thanks for having me. Um My man. When we put
together this show, I started asking our producers and I'm like,
I want to do a show on d MS about
sliding into d MS, just to have some fun and
also because dating during COVID it seems to be the
most prominent way for people to still connect. Um. And

(01:24):
one of the first names that popped up was Robbie Hayes.
I love it. I love it, thank you. That is
producer I I I'm gonna out our producer Danielle brought
your name up. Um. And so, so you are the
master of the d M s. Is it that you

(01:44):
are the master of the d M s or is
it that you just received so many d M s Um?
I mean I used to receive a lot back during
the shows, hundreds of days, but you know it's slowed
down for sure. UM, I don't. I wouldn't consider my
stuff a master by any means, but it's definitely utilized.
It's a one of the greatest tools we have now,

(02:06):
especially like you said, during COVID. So when did you
first start using When did you first start using social media?
When did you first start using d M s UM.
I was a little late to the social media game
in general. UM. I remember in high school when it
kind of when Instagram kind of came out. Um, I
was a little late to the party. Actually a girlfriend
got me into it, Um, so we could I blame

(02:29):
her for all the d ns and thousands of dms
I've sent every ten years, but um, yeah, it's a
little late to the game. And then you know, before
before my first show, The bachelorreat, Um, I wasn't doing bad.
It's not like five or six thousand followers. And for
you know, a nobody that's right right when it starts
that it comes out. I didn't think that was too bad. Um. However,

(02:52):
they take your phone on the bacheloreat so you have
no contact, no internet, no TV kind of that. And
literally the day I turned it on on after the show,
it ended so much stuff came through, so many d
M so many new followers, so many text messages, so
many emails. My phone crashed on my seventeen hour flight
home from Thailand, two and a half months of not

(03:15):
having it and then getting my heart broken the day before,
so all I wanted to do was look at all
the nice messages my mom sent, my friends and family sent,
and then it crashed. So Um. Anyways, I got home
and I turned it on and had like four hundred
and twenty thousand followers over essentially overnight from me right

(03:36):
because I hadn't seen my phone since it was at
five thousand, So it was life changing. Wow, What was
I feeling like going from five thousand to four twenty
was it? Like? What did you feel at that moment?
It's just astronomical. I felt I felt nice about it.
I mean, I felt like I had an influence on people.
I felt like people appreciated, you know, what was going
through what I was going through um on the show.

(03:59):
And it was actually a conversation that Joejoe and I
had on my season, UM during Hometowns we were out
in the boat. She's like, you know, your life's gonna
change after this. You're gonna be you know, picked and
pulled in every different direction, and you know, if we
end up together, you're gonna have to, you know, stay
focused on what we've got here because it can be

(04:19):
a deterrent and it can be uh, you know, distraction,
distraction UM. And I kind of took her word for it,
took her advice. She had been through the prior season
with Ben Higgins and experienced at all exactly what was
going on, so UM that kind of opened my eyes
to like, yeah, this is actually gonna change a little bit,
because in that moment while we're filming, I had no idea.

(04:42):
I can't see my Instagram. I don't know what's going on.
But um, it is a huge distraction. It is very
even to this day, you can get stuck down the
hole and just let's talk about that. So, so can
you unpack that for me and for our listeners. So
just to give you a little bit of my history,
I ever had social media until I was dating. Um,

(05:03):
I got social media at the end of I think
or start somewhere in the late bloomer. Also, yeah, so
I was dating. So I never had history of being
single and sliding into d m s And how can
I use social media in the dating world? So let
me unless I want to have you unpack how this

(05:25):
became sort of a tool for connection and opportunity for
you in the dating world. Well, in my mind, uh,
you know, even going down to posting a photo and
getting a thousand comments, like the first few weeks, I
was a guy that like tried to respond to all
of them. So I just got my heart broke in

(05:46):
and you know I did the things right that the
guy who won didn't necessarily do asking her parents for permission,
all that nonsense, and so half the message I was
getting was like your mom raised you so well, or
like my mom's Facebook had like thousands of new messages,
was like your son was such a things you raised
him well, good job. So it's being used a lot

(06:08):
for that, and when when you try to respond every comment,
it's not gonna go well, especially like fresh off the
show like that, you get thousand comments today and not
all of them are good. And I had to I
had to keep my comments notifications on because Britney x
O x O would be like your son is a loser,
and my mom would be like block her right now,
I'm like, mom, chill like people. I mean, one's gonna

(06:31):
hate me. But when when it relates to the d M,
you know, I did the same thing. I tried to
respond to most solve them because they're usually very supportive messages.
It's like I watched your whole season. You were my favorite,
and I had a few uh short you know how
you can do a little command short text. I can
type like tw and it auto correct all the way.
I had like a thank you one where it was

(06:52):
like I type and thank you, but it was type
of whole paragraph that was like, thank you for your support,
really appreciate it, watched me in the future do all that. Um,
and I was just copy and pasting to a lot
of these people. But don't get me wrong, if one
of them was you know, a smoke show and you
know had a decent, decent, decent profile going on, I'd
add a little personal touch in there and maybe conversation

(07:13):
going But um, that's kind of how it all started.
And I don't I guess it's similar to like if
you get on a dating app for the first time,
you get excited, you just start swiping through and you
end up the hunter matches. You're like, well, which one
do I talk to? And you get lost in all
the small talk. So um, trying to focus on the
ones that you know aren't across the country in the

(07:34):
Ukraine that are a model that you're never gonna meet
in your life, but the ones that are from your
hometown are like so you kind of pick and choose.
But um, yeah, getting off the show that it was,
it was comical for me and my me and my
buddies at a group about four friends that followed me
around for about two months dofter the show, and it
was just non stop in the airports, take a picture,

(07:55):
then sliding in the d M s being like, was
that you I just saw you at Gate twenty three A.
It was like yeah, um okay, So how do you
process all of that? Because you come out with The Bachelor, um,
where you've represented yourself very well, You're proud of how
you represented yourself, and now there's just an overwhelming flood
of attention on Mr Robbie Hayes d MS hundred a day. Um,

(08:18):
how does somebody, how does somebody stand out so out
of the hundred that come in? What are what are
your where are your eyes drawn to? And how does
somebody get that personalized response for me? You? So, like
I said, um in the in the beginning, and I
was just kind of firing off trying to be respectful
back to the people who are being respectful to me.

(08:39):
You know, if you're thanking me for giving a good show,
I want to thank you for supporting it. Um And
I love that man. Yeah. And and at the time,
like right then, six months after I wasn't really looking
for relationship, you know, I almost got engaged. I was
having fun. People wanted to take pictures with me. And
at my college when I go back for games, I
was getting cornered and grocery stores and airports and Starbucks,

(09:01):
you know, all the basic white girl places. Um, and
I was just kind of going through it. But nowadays
there are things I look for and I don't really
respond to everyone because I know that people can kind
of hold onto conversations and once I say I thank
you for the support and all that, then they're like, well,
how about we get a drink And I'm like, well,
I see where this is going now. Um. But there

(09:23):
are a few things I look for. One definitely is
you know, I want to see some type of pictures
with their family. Um. You know, families first. For me,
it's what I hold highest above work, above anything else,
is my family. I'm the oldest of five and we're
all within six years. So like I'm thirty one, my
younger sisters twenty four, super close family. And there's none

(09:46):
of your friends or there's none of your families, that's
a red flag to me. Um. I also really like
the ones that are creative, Like I'll never forget I
had a girl sent me a picture of a bed,
a coffee table, and a ask just basic pictures, random
like product photos, not even in a room. And the

(10:06):
only message she sent was I just slid in or
I just moved into your d M. And I was like,
I get it, okay, Yeah, I'll respond to the clever
ones like that, the ones that I make me giggle
or catch my attention. Um, but also location matters, you know,
like there could be a beautiful woman from Russia that

(10:26):
wants to meet me, but like when am I gonna
be I could go visit. Don't get me wrong, I
travel ton, but I'm not gonna go over there and
settle down. You're probably not gonna come over here and
settle down. And how am I gonna introduce you to
my family? And a lot of people think I'm crazy
in the sense that I will introduce you to my family,
you know, a month after I've known you. A lot

(10:48):
of people wait until a year and a half or
a year until they're comfortable and they know you're the one.
I want to get you inspart of my family, to
see if you can hang, to see if you can
deal without a loud your art, and to see if
you mash if you don't I'm wasting my time. I'm
not going someone that my parents dislike just value their
opinion too much, and quite frankly, of everyone in the world,

(11:10):
they know me best. So what catches your attention more?
The caption or the photo in a d M. Oh,
that's that's a dangerous question. There's limitless abilities with the
with the with the photo or like even just even
just like say the person's profile photo, that's definitely the
caption that it's definitely the message they send. If it's clever,

(11:33):
it's heart felt. Um, you know, if they're not too
aggressive off the bat, then I know that you kind
of have a good heart, You're you're probably really interested
in it, and we can talk through see what happens. Yeah,
I think we've talked about this many times, especially since
COVID on this show. Um, that the world is really

(11:53):
waking up and getting a lot better at at interpreting
digital energy. So in those d M platforms that are
coming out with giving you different ways to express it, right,
and so in your d MS you can tell like, wow,
this person just wrote one sentence, but it feels very genuine,
it feels very SCAREDI or this person wrote one sentence,

(12:14):
and this is just like this person just wants to
hook up. You know what helps with that is when
someone sends something like, Hey, I really enjoyed you on
the show. I loved how you put your heart out there. Um,
don't worry about the breakup. You'll find the right person.
Because it almost makes me feel like they've been through it.
It's like it's like they're they're there by my side,

(12:37):
patty my shoulder, you know, scratching my back, letting me
know that you know what you went through, we've been
through you'll make it through it. Stuff like that gets
me too when it when they kind of related to themselves.
It's not in a conceited way or an arrogant way,
but like you know, I had to go through this
as well, You'll get through this just like I did. Yeah. Um,

(13:00):
what are some of your if I asked you to
tell like one d M story, M, is there something
that's just so wild that pops off in your brain
like this is the funniest DM story or this was
the worst DM story. Is there anything notable from your
d M history that's just completely outrageous that our listeners

(13:22):
have to hear. I mean, there's not like an elaborate
I would say, d M story. I get a lot
of weird stuff. Um, you know, I guess one elaborate
story that actually ended up being a date his girl
in l A. Um, and she slid in and I

(13:43):
was like, sure, yeah, it's like I'm I live in
l a. Let's go out. That'd be easy. We'll catch
a beer and a drunk at sunset. Um. I went
and sat down with three dinner and literally ten minutes
in she was like, so are you gonna post us here?
And as I yeah, I'll get around to this restaurant's nice,
it's scenic, blah blah blah. Forty five minutes in, have

(14:06):
you posted us here yet? I'm like, all right, I
know why you're here now, followers and people to see
me with you. You want to try to catch some
of my following? Check please? Yeah that happened twice now
actually in l A. Yeah. Um. But as far as
elaborate stories, I like like the small world stories like
I'll get a message from a cousin I had no

(14:28):
idea I had, And we'll go into this long diet
tribe about how like I saw them at my parents,
my grandparents fiftieth anniversary. But I was, you know, twelve,
so I didn't really remember meeting them. But we have
these distant cousins and all these weird connections or like
mom's ex boyfriends from college whose now wife's love the show,
or like husband your mom back in Like yeah, people

(14:53):
just want to find a way to connect with you. Yeah,
but like that's still a cool story. You know, I'd
be like, oh, that's kind of the guy that I
never would have heard about that my mom dated before
my dad. It's like stuff, it's not just you're hot
fire flame fire flame kissing moji. Um, okay, let's call
that direction, um, because undoubtedly you have got them and

(15:15):
I'm not asking you to disclose them, but um, what
is truthfully, Robbie, what where does your mind go when
you get like a hot Steavie photo on a d M?
And maybe it maybe changes with stages of life, right like,
but like you come out of the batchelor and you
get a hot Stevy DM like a photo you're probably

(15:37):
responding to that. I was getting a new today really
from from guys and girls with a public accounts, so
I couldn't keep them from coming out. But really, and
still to this to this day. I get one or
two a week. But um, you know it goes back
to the same process. I'll go look and see. You know,
if if the only thing she's posting is you know,

(15:59):
those type of those I'm not bringing you home the mom,
that's a no brainer. You're gonna be wearing cut off
booty shorts and she's gonna be like, what the hell
are you doing? Yeah, So, um, it depends. There can
be tasteful ones, you know that. There can be uh,
there also can be some that are that are dirty
that you're just like, wow, like, hey, let's hang out

(16:21):
once and then uh go our separate ways. But um, yeah,
I mean that happens very often. And I will say,
from a bird's dive view of those images come through
you don't want to see, I would probably agree with
you on that. Um. Here's here's another I heard this from.

(16:43):
Actually was a friend of mine. She used to work
on our show. Um, she was wondering how to how
to separate yourself in the crowd of the d ms.
So let's say you're getting you come out of the Bachelor,
You're getting hundreds of d M a day. Um, she
said one way to separate yourself and to just add

(17:04):
on to just sending you a d M because if
you don't have a verified blue check mark, it's tough
to get if you just clawed against everybody else, right,
but she would said, she said. Another good way is
then to follow up with like three to five photo likes?
Do do do do on photos so that in your
timeline thing there you'll see like this person's like, you'll

(17:26):
see her phone her name five straight. Yeah, just to
catch your eye for a second. Do people do that
with you? Do you notice that works? I noticed that
works now. Um. Back in the day, when you know,
hundreds and hundreds were coming in, I wouldn't have seen it.
You know, it's too much getting ten thousand likes of photo.
Back in the day it was eighty thousand likes of

(17:47):
photo and you're just not seeing it, um, especially the
likes the d m s. Like I said, back then,
i'd go through them, make sure I didn't know them
or if they were to response, I respond, um. But yeah, nowadays,
uh more so what catches my attention would be responding
to a story. As I think in some situations. You know,

(18:12):
how the d m s have a like, well, now
they have one folder, it's your inbox, which is divided
up into primary and general General, and then you have
the other requests. Yeah. So um, I think if you
respond to stories, it's gets requests and goes straight to
your inbox, and so if if you follow them, if
I follow them, yeah, I get those notifications a lot better.

(18:36):
And I've found that people get responses quicker because they
do that, and so I'll do that as well. I
respond to stories instead, just because it's also relative. It's
not some weird dude with blue check mark slide in
your d M being like, hey you're gorgeous. Well you
probably knew that, that's why you're posting all these beautiful photos.
But responding to a d M or responding to a story,

(18:57):
and you know, relating to something like they're in Ibiza.
I loved when I went back in two thousand seventeen.
You know, yeah, I find do you try and find
common ground with that approach? Then yeah, common ground is key.
I I think, you know, if someone says something that
I have no idea they're talking about, I'm probably not
gonna respond. But if they say something like I said earlier,
like oh I went to high school with your mom.
I'm gonna be like, no way, and then I'm gonna

(19:17):
call my mom and be like, hey, I met Harriet.
You know. Yeah, um, how direct? How direct are most
people with you? And how direct are you with most
people with as far as your intentions of the d M.
I mean, it's for directing a sense of letting them

(19:38):
know like what I'm looking for, Yeah, somewhat Yeah, Like
I mean, if somebody sends you a naked photo, that's
pretty direct there, like, okay they are, I'm not gonna respond.
I'm just gonna probably like double hearted and like it
and hope they said or or they know I'm seeing it.
But I'm not guilty by responding because I get a
lot of them, and honestly, most of the accounts that

(20:01):
send them are like two week old accounts. They followed
ten people, and they're all blue check marks, and they're
probably a dude behind the pictures of these girls that yeah,
you're super careful. I mean, I already have, you know,
pr issues with the whole sex tape issue that came out,

(20:22):
and I don't need you know, some other dude blackmailing
me because I got excited about fake photos he sent,
So I'm very cautious. It is a big revenue stream
for me. I don't want to lose that. I don't
want to lose any credibility on it, and my fans
and followers deserved that. When was the I love that,
I love that approach? Um, when was the last DM

(20:46):
that you sent? Oh? Like a deliberate, deliberate slide I
remember was Miranda from Game of Rooms. Miranda from Game
of Thrones. Her name is actually like Charlotte Hope. She
only has like a like twenty dollars, but I thought

(21:06):
she was gorgeous. She's a little art c for me,
but I'm in l A. She's probably in l A sometimes.
So I slid in. It's like all right in my room,
and I will do fun stuff like we got a
basketball whoping back back of the house and I'll film
him and he'll be like, all right in a stone.
If I make this shot, you have to go to
Trader Joe's with me and shot next weekend and we'll

(21:29):
obviously do it un till he makes a shot and
then we'll send the video. Like fun stuff like that,
or like like I just said, will slide in and
be like Hey, I'm going up to Trader Joe's this afternoon.
I was wondering if you need anything, I can pick
it up. And it's like like you already know the
person type of thing. Yeah, I like it. So for
our for our male listeners of the show, can you

(21:52):
give us like more tips like that, some of your
best tips and tricks. I'm sliding into the d O
what you have, what you have seen found to like
work really well and get a response. I'd be I'd
either be clever and well spoken, or I would relate
to something. Go look at their past ten posts. If
they've been somewhere you've been, bring it up. Um, maybe

(22:16):
you know something a bar that they missed that they
didn't go to, and they'll thank you for it and
then you'll be friends. Um, do not do oh I would.
I would drag my private parts through a mile glass
just to sit back dinner with you. Like, don't do
just fireflame emojis. Don't do the eyeballs. I will spoil

(22:37):
you rotten if you are my sugar baby, don't do
that stuff. That's what about? What about pickup lines? Pick
up lines gonna be fun? You know? If if I
haven't heard them. If I've heard them and they're old,
then it's like try harder. But if I haven't heard them,
like I said, they moved in the d M one.
I love that I was. I respect that responded back.

(23:01):
I have no idea who it was, never mat her,
but I liked it and she got a response out
of it. So something that stands out. I know what
I do I have. I have a lot of girls
that saw me back in the day, cross paths with me,
whether it's at my front house for a football game,
going back to school, or the grocery store or at
a bar where I did appearance in eaton greet and

(23:23):
you know, like two years later later, they'll get that
notification two years ago on this day you did, and
a lot of them resend it and being a nice
meeting you hope you're doing well. And I like that
too because it's like it puts me back in that
time where people like wanted to meet me, wanted to
take pictures with me. We're paying money for tickets to
events that I was hosting. It's like you still you know,

(23:46):
you still follow me, you still support me after all
these years, everything I've been through, and that will get
a response. So there's there's certain things, more heartfelt things,
more relatable things, rather than I'd rock your world rap
like a lot of Um, what's one thing you would

(24:07):
really caution caution people about sending d m s because
it can be fun and playful, but there's also a
dark side to it too. What's one thing you would
caution people want make sure they're not in a relationship.
So I've sent a couple of d ms in my
days that I've had to go back in a race
because I scrolled a little further down and I'm like, oh,

(24:29):
and a lot of these girls won't post with their
boyfriend now because they've got the influencer model thing going
on so they can't mess up their feet or yeah,
that's how to lose followers one on one, right post
with a boyfriend see you. So it's it's hard to know.
And then when you figure it out, I go in there,
I'm like, oh, I'll either be like I didn't see
your boyfriend, hope you're happy, or I'll just delete the message.

(24:52):
So yeah, understanding makes god to okay. Um, my man,
I appreciate your time. Eddie pasked words for our community members,
male or female who are struggling to date during COVID
and want to utilize the d M game. As the
late Kobe said, shoot or shoot. You don't want to

(25:14):
be You don't want to be that guy that's sixty
five years old talking to his grandchildren saying, man, that
Betty low and eighth grade, all the boys wanted her.
I wish I had taken my shot because that dude,
for forty five years has been holding that regret in
him his entire life. You can say, no, I love it,

(25:36):
shoot your shot. Let's do it. You're gonna regret it
if you don't. Buddy, I love it. Thank you so
much for the insight. Thank you for schooling me. Um,
Where where can our listeners slide into your d M s?
Where do you hang out most of the Instagram? Facebook?
Where do you where the best? Right now? It's Robert
Hunter eighty nine. Um, yeah, that that's the best place

(25:59):
to get at me. Awesome, buddy. Okay, Well I'm gonna
slide in there as well and just say thank you. Yeah, yeah,
I appreciate it. Robbie, You're the man. Um. Good luck
to you on your journey. And then if you have
any like, if any come in from this episode that
are just hilarious. Please send them to me, and then, well,

(26:20):
how many think podcast over? Everyone listening start setting them in.
Well we'll hold a little competition. Maybe they'll give away.
See I did, I did that online. I posted stories today.
I said, Hey, I'm doing a podcast about d M
s um sliding into d M, So show me how
you operate world, How do you guys slide into d M.
Not that I'm looking for them, I'm not looking to
get asked out in that way, just for research for

(26:42):
this podcast and share funny, funny examples of it. So, um,
it's social media little is there an account in the
d M that they just post shots or something like that? Dude,
you should start it down in the d M and
just post shots. I'd be surprised it through as an account,
but that'd be that'd be funny. You get a lot
of pretty crazy submissions. Yeah, there's gotta be some fun

(27:05):
stuff in there. Um, Robbie, my brother, I appreciate you,
um being well, stay safe and thank you for sharing
your d M insight. Thank you guys for having me.
Cheers buddy. See ye okay, So that was Robbie Hayes
giving us the male perspective on the d m S

(27:28):
and now we have maybe the best dm or in
the history of d m s. I'm just saying that
because you're my friend. We have one of the most
followed golfers in all of the world, an exceptional talent
and beautiful lady, and an Instagram phenomen page sporadic with
us page. How are you girl? Good? Thanks for having
me back on I mean, we did thirst traps and

(27:50):
might as well sliding dms. Now you know what, you
know what I love is every time you're on the show,
we just have so much fun. We get to do
a show on thirst traps and new we're doing a
show on on sliding into m both things that I
was never involved in before, and now you've because of
you and knowing you, You've got me involved in them.
So I appreciate you getting me out of my shell. Page. Well,

(28:11):
that's what I'm here for. And it's the process. You
get a thirst trap first, and then people are sliding
into your d m s and it you know, it's
it's it works, It's just out's working. Is that is
this is the thirst trap kind of like the gateway
drug and it's a very slippery slope. After that, all
of a sudden it's d m S and then all
of a sudden, I find myself sending nudes. What I'll

(28:31):
be on probably for that one too, so you'll be
my therapist like, oh page, I did it. Oh god,
it happened. Yeah, I'm like the devil on your shoulder,
like do it do yeah? Probably? Um okay, So we
want to the goal of this show one is always
just to have fun. So I love having you on
because we always have so much fun too. During COVID

(28:52):
people our community are how many think listeners are are
finding that really the only way they're able to still
have connection and possible meet new people is through d MS.
So we wanted to do a deep dive into the
art of sliding into d m s and then also
receiving of d ms. Um So, in your history, what
have let's let's even start with your your Instagram history

(29:15):
and your social media history. When did you start using
social media and when did you start using d MS?
I mean ever since I got a phone, you just
would have social media and direct messaging is just a
way to communicate with people. So it's never something that
was like weird for me. It was almost like sending
a tax It just feels very normal and natural. I
will say now, or when I became like a public figure,

(29:39):
I would never really send d MS unless it's like
to my friends. I've never really like reached out to
someone before. I've always had just people reach out to me. Um.
Just because I'm sure you know this as well. It
can be very overwhelming, like the amount of messages and
d MS that you get from people, and like as
soon as you answer one person, then you kind of

(30:00):
have to keep up a conversation with that person. And
so it's always like do I want to respond and
then keep up a conversation because once you respond, you
can't just not respond anymore. So it's, uh, it's it's interesting.
But I think also people realize that you have two
and a half three million followers on Instagram and and
they're not the only person in the world that you

(30:22):
are talking to. You're a very busy person, um, professional golfer.
You have a say that you think that. And that's
probably one thing I don't like about d m s
is when people assume that you're the only person that
they're talking to. So if someone will send a message
and then maybe a couple of days later, even a
couple of hours later, they'll send another message, like how
would you not respond to me? I want to respond,

(30:44):
and I'm like I'm trying, Like I can barely text
my parents back, like I'm not gonna DM me about
like my whole entire life story. Right, I can handle
on In the average day, I can handle like three
phone calls and five text messages and and then my
head blows off. And that's not even counting emails, and
that's not even counting d ms. Um. So it's just

(31:05):
I'm not wired to sit at a computer and type
and whatever. So like mind just backed up by have
mountains of text messages. I haven't responded. I'm just not
good at that. I'm good at FaceTime you FaceTime meet,
I'll answer because I want to see your face, because
I love people and I want to see your face.
But digital messages messages like that, I'm not that good at.
But let's dive into, um, let's dive into d m

(31:27):
s and how somebody might use a d M to
make a connection. So let's say, um, let's go from
the female perspective first. So there's somebody. There's somebody that
you like that a female likes a male and wants
to get this man's attention. What is a way that
you in the past or you have used, or a

(31:48):
way that you could advise our listeners on on sliding
into this person's d M. Yeah, well, there's usually a process.
So first you have to follow the person and then
you like I would say about three to five pictures,
usually in a row so they can see your name
pop up. And after you do that, normally that person

(32:08):
will then d M you and they'll just be like, hey,
what's going on. But if they don't do that, then
I would normally just say something funny. I like funny
d M s. I think that catches my attention a lot.
I hate when someone will just send like hey, or
how are you, or like what's up? I want to laugh.
I want to be entertained. I want to like have

(32:30):
a connection from the very start and to startart a
conversation because it's so hard when I was like hey,
and then what do you say back to that? You
know you can't do anything. So when guys DM me
and they say things that are really funny. My favorite
one is they'll send like a um emojis of different
furniture and they say, hey, sorry, just moving into your
d m s. Or they'll do one where they will

(32:52):
send a picture of their dog and they're like, sorry,
my dog's lost. Uh I found him in your DMS.
So like that, Yeah, like really it's really smooth, it's funny.
I had a guy once asked me, like what my
favorite soup was, but he would I didn't respond right away,
and he kept every day. It was consistent. He'd be

(33:13):
like chicken noodle. Uh, you just started naming like different soups.
And I finally had to respond because I was like,
this guy is so persistent. When you're so funny, it's
something that's different. UM. Usually though, like when I would
sign in someone's dm s, I'm trying to think, I mean,
just you just make it fun. Just try to catch
their attention. Maybe pick up something that's on their Instagram.

(33:33):
So if they were like, um fishing, then I maybe
make a funny joke about that, or if they really
like golf, you know, mentioned that, but always come in
with like a question or something like a kind of
joke just so they have like their forced to respond
at that point. It's it's interesting that that humor is
one way that catches your eye, you know, because different people,

(33:54):
like we just talked about Robbie. He was talking about
like anything family or friends related, anything creative, um locations.
If somebody says, hey, I live in l A as well,
he's like, oh, that catches my attention right away. Um
for you, he never mentioned, like he said, be fun,
but you really mentioned humor. So humor is one way
that you receive positive affirmation from a d M. Yeah,

(34:18):
I think it it comes up non threatening. If someone
will side my d M and they say, hey, I
see you're in Arizona, I'm in town. Let's grab drink
or something that's almost like, okay, how do you know
where I live? And it almost seems like they have
an agenda instead of when it's kind of fun and silly.

(34:39):
I'm just interested in knowing them better and then you
can kind of move into that. But I don't like
when it's too direct right off from the front. M Okay.
So because I know you've and you've shared it, you've
had a history of that. I mean, you're very open
on your podcast playing around where you talk about using
d M s and you talk about your experience on
d M s, and you talk a lot about negative
experience d M. What are some of the like worst experiences?

(35:04):
Um that that what some of the worst ways that
men can DM somebody something that you'd advise our male community, like,
do not do this from a female perspective. This will
never get a response. UM, I feel like this is
pretty self explanatory, and you feel I feel like guys
should just notice, but they really don't. UM, do not

(35:26):
send a dick picture as the very first d M
you ever sent a female. It is never ever going
to work. It's never going to work. Just don't send
a dick picture. It's not the move. It's not the move.
I hand up. I have never ever in my life
sent a dick pick. I've note. Maybe it would work

(35:47):
for you, though, if you just started sending like random
girls dig pictures like I'm all about it, I don't
think it work. I have a buddy, one of my
best friends in the world. Why day I was at
practice and I came out of practice and I had
a text message from him, and he's very opposite of me,
and the text message just said I sent five dick pics.

(36:10):
This morning and it was only nine am, and I
was like, oh my god. And then I was asked.
I was like, I've never said one. I have never
said one in my life. Still to this day, I
have never said one. Um. I was like, how do
you do it, like just just the dick or do
you put the face in it? The body? And he goes, oh,
I did the whole thing, face, all of it. And
I'm like, oh my god, Like, do you realize the

(36:32):
internets forever? Like that's out there now? Um. But I agree.
I even I get some of those. I get some
dick pics in mind randomly. I don't know why. Um.
And it's the most startling and like abrupt thing ever.
And it's not nice to look at at all. No, No,
it's not fun. I don't want to see that. But
it's interesting though, because some of my guy friends who

(36:55):
are athletes or have a lot of followers women do
the opposite. They'll send nude picture but it works for them,
like that's like their go to move is just to
be like hey here, like this is what you're getting,
and they like that. So guys don't just don't do
it though, guys don't, Okay, don't do it, jest, do
not do it. You're better than that. Okay, So here's

(37:15):
a question for you. So you like a guy, Um,
there's somebody that's caught your tension your female. You like
a guy or a girl, whether it doesn't matter, but
how do you slide in? What's one? Is it? Is
it more text and caption based? Is it photo? Is
it trying to find something that you have common ground on.
Is it responding to a story? What's what are some

(37:36):
of the best ways for a female to slide into
somebody's d M. I think responding to a story is
really easy to do because you're responding to something that
they posted and that will usually strike up a conversation
or again finding common ground, finding a common interest that
you guys can talk about. But again, always open up

(37:56):
with a question, make it long so they have to
respond in if you actually put work into it and
like you're interested in that person, and I think guys
really appreciate that, and especially if you come in with
a little bit of humor and make it fun and
just try to stand out from what everyone else is
probably sending that person or trying to be just a
little bit different. Got you Okay, Um, what's your thoughts

(38:17):
on sending a photo? Should should a lady send a
photo as well or just rely on the caption? Um
mebe me. I don't know. I don't know if that's
the move right away, like first just to send a photo. Um. Sometimes,
if I'm going through my d M s and I
see that someone send a photo, I tend just kind
of skipped through it because when you're looking at someone

(38:40):
it like says it's like black basically so you can't
see in so you have to click on the photo,
like approve them first and then click on it. And
sometimes I don't like that. I just kind of like
skip through it. But if I see something that's funny
in text, sort like a longer text, then I'll tend
to read that first before I look at a photo.
Do you get I'm sure you do, because you post
a lot about your dog. Do you get a lot
of hey, my dog wants to play with your dog?

(39:02):
Kind of? Yes? Yeah, I love it. I mean I
will say if a guy sends me a picture of
his dog, chances that I'm definitely going to respond because
I just have such a soft spall in my heart
for animals. Um, so, but it's also when people like
respond to my story. And I think that's when if
you want to send a picture and have up beer
opening DM, do it in a response to someone else's

(39:22):
story and be like, if they they're showing their dog,
you can show your dog. But I don't know, I'm
not I'm not big on pictures. So so is that
kind of the way So for our male listens for
if somebody wants to connect with you or for a female,
is that kind of like a less intimidating, more common ground, um,
more organic way to at least open up the connection,

(39:47):
you know, the flow of communication. Just I love your pop,
I have a two year old lab or doodle two
or so whatever they want to say, but at least, um,
and here's a photo of them or whatever. Or we
love my dog loves chasing a phrasebee too, whatever, or
my dog makes these amazing pots as well. Um, but
at least that way, at least that way now there's
they there's more of a give and take and there's

(40:09):
a line of communication and maybe it's a little less
direct of a contact then coming out and like, hey,
I want to get drinks with you tonight, you know,
like you can follow, you can you can organically build
a little bit of trust and a little bit of
humor and connection prior to UM, prior to leading the

(40:30):
conversation where you might ultimately want it to go. Yeah,
oh yeah, if if someone asked me a question, maybe
like what kind of food doesn't need go like to eat?
Or what to what toy is he playing with? Or
if you'll ask me a question about um, the club
golf clubs that I'm playing, anything like that, Like a
question is the best way to kind of like start
up a conversation. But I will say this, I think

(40:53):
we put a lot of effort and thought into like
how we want to communicate with someone else. And truth
is that person that person either likes you or they
don't like you. And so you could send this amazing
dm or an amazing text and they don't respond, then like,
don't worry about it, Like you'll find another person. And

(41:13):
if you have your own personal style of dm NG
and maybe that is just sending hey message or maybe
it is sending a picture. There's no right or wrong
way to communicate with someone, and everyone communicates differently, and
so I think that's important to keep in mind, Like
just do what you want to do. And if the
person you're like dming doesn't like it, but don't waste
your time on it. They probably are not gonna like

(41:33):
you anyways, so just move on to the next person. So, okay,
follow up to that then, So let's say let's say
I d M you. I'm a guy and I d
M you and asked you a question or something and
you just responded with a statement or an answer, but
never asked me a question or anything. Follow up to
try and keep the conversation going. Should I just take

(41:56):
that hint? Oh, she's not into me, because if you
were somewhat sort of to me, you'd probably have something
some sort of a cliffhanger where I'd have to respond back.
So this keeps going. Yeah, not necessarily, because there are
times where I have responded back and it didn't warrant
a question to the other person. Um. But you can

(42:16):
usually tell if someone is interested in you, buy like
their use of emojis, if the if it's like a
one word answer compared to you know, more of death.
But if I like, if I take my time to
answer your question and it's long and I'm using emojis
and I'm probably interested in you. But if you ask
me something and I'd go yes, then no, like, don't

(42:38):
don't take take a hint. UM, what kind of emojis?
So I didn't know that emojis meant that somebody is
sort of into you. What kind of emojis would be
giveaways or not giveaways? Hints that like, oh, this person's
maybe digging me. Definitely the hard eye emoji. UM, kind

(42:59):
of like ailing emojis. There's I mean, really anything that
you use. I think just like adding something like if
a guy uses emojis to me, I really do feel
like he's interested in me because it's like, oh, he's
taking a little extra effort to put a smile at
the end of sentence or you know, the hard eye
emoji or anything like that. I think it's just really cute. Oh,
let's want to want to do an interesting experiment with

(43:21):
me right now, grab your phone and go to type
in um or just hit your emoji section and and
what are your top three on the top left corner
going down? What are your top three emojis currently that
you have used? For mine is the laughing, crying face,

(43:47):
the puppy dog I face, and then um the heart emoji.
Oh can I see him? Can you hold him up? Yeah?
The oh, I didn't know, the puppy dog, I don't
even know. I've never used that one. Oh, that one's
my favorite, Like, I love that one. So how in

(44:09):
what context do you use that? Um when you're like
a little sad or you say something kind of cute
like oh I miss you, and you can use like
the little sad I I love that. I'm trying to
find I don't even know where it is. I've already
seen that a O. I don't even know if I
have that one. It's like my most used one. Okay,

(44:30):
that's a new one for me. Okay, So here are
my top three most frequently used emojis. I have the
double high five, then I have the slanted laughing like
laughing one, and then I have the prayer hands. So
the double high five I have you's a good one.

(44:53):
Um oh, and then the fourth one is like the
surfer like kind of hanked it because I use that,
I'm like a later um. But I usually do that.
I like high five or I'll laughing or like this
one for thank you because I'll respond to a lot
of comments or whatever. People send me yourself. I was like,
thank you. Um, interesting, okay, so true story. I'm not

(45:13):
good at well. I I never had social media until
I was already dating, so I've never had the d M. Um.
As far as dating DM, I've reached out to like
musicians and people that I'm a fan of and connected
that way and be like, oh my god, I love
your band or like, and actually made some amazing friends
that way. Um, but I've never used it as a
dating tool. So emojis even I had somebody send me

(45:37):
l O L. They were sending me l O L
all the time, and I thought it meant lots of love,
and I'm like, whoa, I gotta hold on. So I'm
I'm a d M. I'm a d M moron. Um,
But yeah, what's your thoughts on like, because sometimes people
will frown on it. I think, however you meet your person,
whether it's through d M S or whatever it is
a dating app, however you meet your person is the

(45:57):
most important thing. What are your thoughts people that frowned
upon or the thought that maybe, oh it's it's kind
of sketchy to meet somebody via d M. I don't
think anyone has the right to judge someone else on
how they meet their other person or how they choose
to communicate with someone else, especially now with social media
and just the digital age being so popular. We communicate

(46:18):
through our phones and that's just how we find people,
and and now and quarantine and with everything on, it's
really hard to go out and meet people. You don't
have that. And so for anyone to say like you
can't use a dating app, or or make you feel
desperate like you you can't find someone on your own,
so you have to use a dating app, I don't
agree with that. I think it's an easy way to

(46:39):
connect with people and also just to make friends and
sometimes if you're lonely, just want to talk to people
and that's an easy way to do it. So UM,
hopefully that stigma disappears and people can meet people how
they want to page. That was a wonderful answer. Thank you. Yeah,
that was amazing. I hope people listen to that and
even play that back and hear that again. Um, you're

(47:01):
so right. Um, nobody has the right to judge anybody
else on how they meet their person or how they
go about it. Um. But then also during these times
during COVID times. Um, people are still single, people are
still seeking connection in the state of the world. Doesn't
mean they have to stop that, you know. So there's
there's tools at our literally at our fingertips to reach out. Um,

(47:22):
how many do Here's a question for you. How many
d ms is too many? So let's say somebody like you.
Let's say I'm d m ng you and I don't
get noticed because you get a top like the guy
that asked you about the soup's amazing. It just kept
coming in and eventually responded. But how many d ms
is too many? Where you're like, oh, I'm just gonna
block this person because they continually d M I would say,

(47:45):
I mean, I've never blocked someone for sending too many,
because there are times where I'll I'll see it and
then I'll be scrolling or something else happens, and then
I just I lose it because I just get a
lot of messages. And it's nice that they actually do
continue to DM me because it moves it back up
to the top. And sometimes I do want to talk
to them, but I just I can't find their user

(48:06):
name anymore, or I can't find their message. I would say,
maybe like three if you send three d m s
with no response, then maybe stop, but yeah, like maybe
send a DM and then if they don't respond, like
respond to someone's respond to their story and then they
don't respond to that, then maybe do like one more

(48:27):
response to their story or like one more d M
and then after that just it's not gonna happen. Mm hmm. Okay, Um,
did you see my Instagram story today just before we
did the show? No, I haven't. What is it? Okay?
So I put it on my Instagram today, I said,
reaching out to the community. I'm doing a fun podcast
today talking about sliding into d m s. I want

(48:47):
to see how the world operates. How do you guys
slide into DM? So send me examples of you guys
sliding into DM not because I'm looking for dates and whatever,
just because I want to see how the world operates. Um.
And So I've been getting a bunch of them, some
interesting ones. Um, and I kind of just want to
ask you if you've heard any of these, because you've

(49:08):
probably got You've probably like for somebody to like catch
pages attention with something new is probably like a monumental achievement.
You've probably heard them all. Um, are you a bank
loan because you've got my interests. Yeah, that one. I
would definitely respond to that one. I love I think
it's funny. I love it. Um, here's a here's another

(49:33):
blue would love to spend a day with Koda hashtag DM.
Um here's one. Somebody just sent me one. Um, it's
them laying in bad. They're not naked, but it's them
laying in bad and it just says slide. I mean
it's aggressive like that. That is that's a good one.
I love them. They will send like a picture of

(49:55):
like um, like something like that where it's like a
guy sliding in. They're like sliding your DM. I think
that's funny for sure. I actually laughed at it. I
actually laughed at it because I kind of appreciated the forwardness.
But but it wasn't it wasn't a naked photo, so
it wasn't like super aggressive and in your face and
really distinct and overly direct. But it was kind of

(50:17):
just playful, Like I actually thought it was kind of funny. Um,
hi zaddy with the z no no no no. I
have never said that I would never want if I
was a guy, I would never want some saying that
me that is like, no go for me? Why is that?

(50:40):
Why is that one so bad? I feel the same way,
but like this whole like daddy phenomenon like really creeps
me out. I don't know, It's just like it just
makes you look like you have like daddy issues or
something like I don't want to data guys like my
daddy like I don't. And it just increased me out
big time. Um do you can you? Do you have

(51:02):
any in yours right now that you think are just
hilarious that you'd want to share? Let me look, I
haven't liked it a little bit. Um this person, this
person just said can I borrow some money? Thought that
was clever. I sent an address and said can you

(51:23):
come to my Do you want to go on a
date with me? And just like sent the address of
a restaurant. Okay, it's not bad. Um. Most I mostly
just get like people commenting on my golf swing or
like giving me tips. Yeah, what about what about this message? Um? Hi,

(51:48):
nice to meet you. You're super inspiring, have incredible positive energy.
Thank you for being amazing and putting a smile on
my face every time I see a pick of you?
And coda is that what is that under because that
that just feels like a nice friend message. That doesn't
feel like a this person is interested in the message.
I think it depends on what your intentions are. Um.

(52:11):
If you just want to hook up that person with
that person, definitely be more forward and send something really
flirty and fun. If you are interested in maybe your
relationship or seeing where it goes, then send something kind
of in between. If you're looking just to like connect,
then send a message like that. But I think you
have to be clear with like what your intentions are
going into it, um, because it's going to determine like

(52:32):
how you DM that person. You're you're so good page
You're right because this I agree this. I feel like
it's just a friend message. Yeah. Well no, they used
the hard eye emoji. Oh yeah, I didn't say that.
They used the hard eye. Um high and I used
to meet you hard eyes? Oh does that see? I
miss it? They missed it. That's interested, that's interested, yeah, um,

(53:00):
because it's like, oh, I think you're cute, like I'm
giving you hard eyes. Okay. There are four photos as well.
The first three are of dogs looks like a husky,
and then the fourth one is in a bikini. So
that fact that girl send you a bikini picture and

(53:22):
a hard eyes and you're like, oh, it's just a
friendly message. I didn't look at the photos first. I
just looked at the message first. Okay. So that's a
good clue for everyone. Don't send photos because you didn't
even look at the photos. Yeah, it's just because it
was just like black black black black, Like um okay, um,

(53:44):
what's a what's I don't know, jeez, it's so hard.
So are people actually like maybe people that are out
there that are like, oh I haven't been approached. Are
they just like me where they're just missing the boat? Yes? Yeah,
I mean I think like you're getting hundreds of messages
from women who are interested in You're like, I don't
get it. I don't know not Oh man, Um okay,

(54:10):
can you give our can you give our male listeners
just a couple of real quick just to summarize this,
because I know your business. I want to want to
take up all your day summarize this the dudes, And
don't d m E. Not send a dick picture. That's
the one part. Don't not send a dick picture? Does
that just that's the one don't don't do that. Um

(54:33):
I would say, do be cute, fun and kind of
set yourself apart. So send like a flirty message or
funny message or anything other than just like, hey, what's up?
And then find common grounds. So ask them about something
that they're interested in, ask them a question, and then
be a little bit persistent. Maybe send them a couple

(54:55):
of messages because they didn't see the first one. Um,
So don't be afraid to know, be persistent, but if
they don't respond, don't get mad at them. And also
just do what you want to do. If you're going
to communicate the way you want to communicate, and if
someone likes that, they like it. If they don't, they don't,
So just move on to the next person. There's a
lot of efficiency, amazing. Do you think people just copy
and paste and just slide them to thirty people hoping

(55:17):
to get one bite. I'll get d M sometimes from
like athletes and they just will send like an emoji
and it's just like the thumbs up and I'm like,
you definitely just sent that to like fifty other girls.
What emoji? What what emoji? And then just like a
hard eye or something. No, it's literally I got some
guy sent me an emoji of pizza. Um. I got

(55:41):
one where it was like a thumbs up, I got
a smiley face, I got the fire flame And normally
it's like hard eyes. But they will like that's like
they're moved, like they'll only send like an emoji. I'm like,
don't don't do that, like put them upward into it?
Is that? So that is that kind of just because
that guy or girl, whoever it is, person is relying

(56:01):
on the fact that they probably have a big platform,
they probably have a blue check mark, and they're just
gonna you're you'll see it and then you'll respond and
be like, oh hey, what's up. And that's just kind
of their like this seems ever into it and they
don't like like they actually really don't have to. Like
you could probably send a girl like like a dog

(56:23):
emoji and that would be enough. Like it. Honestly, sometimes
for some people it doesn't matter what you sent them.
You can send them anything. What's the number one thing
you get where it's just like, hey, you're one of
everyone if you send me this. UM. I think the
one that I dislike the most is when they say, hey,
do you mind if I ask you a question. I

(56:43):
know that's painful. I hate that because one of my
guests and then they asked me, just asked me the question,
like just like let's get to it, because then I
have to respond and I have to respond again. Like
I don't even want to open up the conversation because
it's just it's not even like they're being respectful. It's
almost like they're just like pandering. They just like give
me attention, like I just want you to respond to

(57:05):
me and like ask the question. There's a neediness and
like a desperation laced into that energetically. That's just like
off putting. I'm like, oh god, no, I don't want
anything to do with that. Like just come on here,
ask me your question. I'll rip it right back. Yeah,
there's a hesitancy that I'm like, if you do that,
I'm I'm not going to even answer you at all. Okay,

(57:30):
uh quick. I have to side with one or the other.
Is it better to have a good photo like profile
photo or a good caption? Which one is going to
catch your attention? More good photo a good photo? So
so note to all of our listeners male and female,
have a great profile photo. What is a good photo?
What constituted? What are the parameters that constitute a good

(57:52):
photo that you're gonna be like, Oh, I'm gonna click
on this person's profile, They're cute, this big? How can
how can you tell? What do you gotta do? I
think if it's just like of your face, I think
it when people are like smiling or they look happy,
I think that draws me in a lot more. Um,
if you can't tell what the person looks like, then
I'm also probably not going to like open up dam

(58:14):
like I want to see what you look like first,
just to know, like who I'm talking to. And especially
because there are a lot of like catfish situations where
you don't actually know what the person looks like, and
so they have like a picture of like their dog
or three people, or you don't know who it is,
like it's hard to know, Like it's deer put like
a face to their message. If you can actually see
what they look like, got you, Yeah, I agree with that.

(58:36):
Here's yours. You are lining up a putt. Yeah, well
it's a golf page. Come on, I have to have
a golf picture. How long have you had the same
profile picture? I've had that one for probably three years,
three or four years really, m The first thing I
had was just like a picture of my face, and

(58:58):
I wanted to change it because I wanted to make
it more golfy because people were confused if it was
a golf page or not. And so I was like,
I need a picture. But I didn't almost want to
change it because I felt like it was almost like
a bad thing to do, Like are people gonna recognize
what my page is anymore? If you like, change the
profile picture, it doesn't matter, that's okay, okay, breakdown my

(59:19):
profile picture for me. And if this, if this slid
into your d M s, would you click on it
based on just profile picture or no? You can look
at your phone. Um see the hesitancy there's that's that's
not a definite Oh I'd click that. So I'm messing
this whole Instagram game up page, you know, only because

(59:43):
it almost doesn't look like a real picture. It looks
like a picture that you could take off of the
internet and like photoshopping, like make it yours. And so
I would be like, is that it does he actually
look like that? It's not that you look bad, it's
almost like it just looks too professional. It looks like
a struction picture. True story, that's a that's just a

(01:00:04):
photo taken with an iPhone, not touched at all, not edited,
not nothing. That was something we can all strive to
be as good looking as you. Oh yeah, whatever that is.
I got my hair cut pictures like five professional cameras
and you're just like, it's an iPhone, not even on

(01:00:25):
portrait mode. That one was on portrait mode. So true
story that photo. I had just got my hair cut
and I had just got the new iPhone and there
was a portrait mode and Jill, who's my style, She's like,
let's take a photo of it, and she's like, turned
to the side. I turned aside and it just had
a black background in the salon um And that was
the photo that came out. And I was like, Oh,

(01:00:45):
I like that. That's dope. I'm gonna run with that.
It's been on there for like a couple of years. No,
it's not like I said, it's not that it's a
bad photo. But if I'm like worried about someone catfishing me,
I would probably be like this guy likes like two
professional or like good picture instead of like it looks
just like a normal person, like you don't look like
a normal person there. But if having the blue checkmark,

(01:01:09):
which I do, you would know that I'm not catfishing,
so I shouldn't. Also, if you have a blue checkmark,
you should have a good photo. You could said nothing,
It could be a blank screen. But if you're saying
to a girl's d M, she's gonna be about it,
like you don't. You don't have to put any effort
into it, is it? Why because of the blue checkmark? No,
because you're attractive and like you you're you played played

(01:01:33):
professionally and like you have like your together and like
if you just look at your profile and you're like dogs,
like you don't have to you literally don't have to
do anything. How a thirst trap of you naked cooking?
Come on? Like you know how to do anything? Like
so easy. So I've never I've never used d m

(01:01:58):
NG as a tool of day just because I have
to um um question. I was going to ask you, Oh,
in your d MS, how important is a blue check mark?
If you see a blue check mark in your d MS,
what percentage of time would you read that message? Probably
I got of the time, but mostly because one with

(01:02:22):
like the podcast and being in digital media, like it's
just nice to connect with other people, and so I
want to see why they're reaching out. Um. If they're
reaching out and I feel like it's like their intentions
aren't great, then I'm not going to respond. Just because
they have a blue checkmark doesn't mean that I'm going
to respond every single time. Um, but I will read
the message like it definitely catches my eye. Um, but

(01:02:42):
I'm not like, oh, he has a lot of followers.
I'm definitely going to talk to him, Like you still
have to send a good message or ask me a
question if you do have a blue check mark. Yeah. Um,
let's talk about the podcast. Are enjoying it. I love it.
It's been great. It's it's been a challenge for sure
because it's something like I've never done before. Um, but
it's nice to just have a lot of fun talk

(01:03:04):
about whatever we want to talk about. And it's it's fun.
It's great. So it's an iheard podcast. It's called playing Around.
Um have you would have been real quickly, like one
positive experience that you've noticed from it and one negative
experience that you that was kind of unforeseen coming in.
Positive would be just getting my personality out there more

(01:03:26):
people only know me mostly just from pictures that I
post on Instagram, and so it's nice that I can
show I have a really like goofy silly side that
people really didn't know that I had that before. And
then one negative is just creating a show that people enjoy.
I think that sometimes when I've gone into like serious topics,

(01:03:48):
people say that it's no fun and I don't want
to listen to it. And then sometimes when I'm too silly,
then they'll say, like there's no substance. And so usually,
like on my Instagram, I can control the comments or
I control like how people receive it. But with a podcast,
it's it's hard, like it's your opinions, you know, and
if they don't like you or like what you're saying,
and it's like they don't really like you, and so

(01:04:08):
it's hard to like create a show that everyone seems
to enjoy and have fun listening to. And like, yeah,
we try and and it's a dance and I mean,
you're we're maybe nine months longer into it than you
are on yours on playing around, um, but it's a
dance and we we try and do this. The reason
I got into this podcast was to try and add

(01:04:29):
value to the listener. I was like, Okay, how can
I positively impact people's lives? Um And one way that
that Gavin is amazing on our show I miss you, buddy,
miss Gav is that he adds a lot of entertainment.
So you get value and entertainment because, like you said,
sometimes that we do want to go into the high level,
really thought provoking conversations, and in other days we want

(01:04:49):
to have more conversations like today which is more about
d m NG and the one we had about thirst traps,
which are just kind of fun too, because sometimes the
world just needs to be entertained as well. UM. But
I think your podcast is great. I love that you
are branching out and challenging yourself in a new medium,
a new format. Um. And for people that that comment

(01:05:10):
on it or are judgmental of it, podcasts are hard.
Like you, You're you're literally opening yourself up, your thoughts,
your opinions, and anybody out there listening can jab at
it in any direction anyway they see different from the
way they see the world, so it takes a lot
of courage. I applaud you for your courage and for
your bravery for coming out and starting a podcast. Um,

(01:05:31):
and I hope you enjoy it because I think it's
really impactful what you're doing. Thank you. Yeah, it's been
a lot of fun and I was enjoy coming on
this show and adding some entertainment and we get to
talk about a lot of really fun things. So I
can't wait to see you up your d M game.
And I'm gonna laugh. Change your profile picture after this,
right right, I'll put something smoothy, just me and my dog,

(01:05:53):
like just something. Um, but you're you're so good. Everything
you said was so right, Everything was so fresh, and
you're so right. Um, it can be and I want
to encourage our community the the d M format can
be a way to meet somebody. Um. For sure, connections, relationships, marriages,
families have been birthed out of DM. So um. Any

(01:06:15):
last advice for our listeners? Robbie Hayes our last guest,
he said, shoot your shot? He said, Kobe said, shoot
your shot? What what last advice could you give our
listeners that there may be a little timid or haven't
even ever sent a d M? Any advice for our listeners? Yeah,
I mean his advice is great. Definitely just go for it,
but be yourself. Don't try to change who you are

(01:06:38):
to get a response from that other person. And so
if you're looking at the profile and you can't really
find common ground, then maybe it's not worth it too,
DM them. So always be yourself, be true to yourself,
and send what you want to send, and don't get
down on yourself. If you don't get a response, has
nothing to do with you, has probably something to do
with them. So if they don't respond, it's not a rejection,

(01:06:59):
it's is It's just the way it is, and move
on to next person. Literally, just delete it and move on. Okay,
Page Rene, thank you so much. Um. Where can our
listeners find you and send you humorous, fund lighthearted DM. Yeah,
you can find me on Instagram at page Renee, and
then on Twitter and Facebook it's my full name, page Brantic.

(01:07:21):
And then obviously I have a podcast called Playing Around.
It's on my heart anywhere you can get your podcast,
so yeah, come find me page They always appreciate you.
You're my Instagram slash life coach. Um and for all
our listeners, tune into page catch more page on your
Playing Around podcast. Thank you, page, be well, stay safe,
I hope to see you again sometime soon. Uh and

(01:07:42):
everybody listening, thank you for tuning in until next week.
Take care of one another, love one another, and we'll
see you back here for another episode of How Men
Think