"I'm There For You, Babe!" Recap Season 2, Episode 20

Thank God Jodie & Andrea are there for us, because with that Tanner family live performance, we’ll need as much explanation as possible.

Jesse is turning 26, and the ladies can’t help but spiral into their own small existential crisis of passing time. But also - parenthood has never felt realer, so it’s got that going for it.

And for the love of a weight conscious Mr. Bear, can Jesse and Becky stop making out?

Put on your best outfit, we’re going to the Smash Club, on an all new How Rude, Tanneritos!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:18):
Hello, Hello, Hello, Hi, good morning. You sound so much
better to put a morning to you.

Speaker 2 (00:24):
I'm feeling better, I know. I feel bad for our
listeners who are like, why are why have these girls
been sick for a month, And it's like, no, no,
we're kind of batch recording.

Speaker 3 (00:34):
Yeah, yeah exactly. They're like it's only been a couple
of weeks because they're like, did they ever get well?

Speaker 1 (00:39):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (00:39):
No, right, just go see a doctor for crme and
mine is just allergies, so it's never It's not like
there's anything to even get over other than h than
spring and summer and nature. You're screwed until until summertime basically, so.

Speaker 1 (00:53):
Yeah, pretty much even then it's still so.

Speaker 3 (00:56):
So Basically, what we're saying is is, uh, Andrew may
get better, but you're in for a long haul with
me and UH and my nasal congestions.

Speaker 2 (01:04):
Have you ever tried a nettie pot?

Speaker 3 (01:05):
I have tried a netti pot, although it's more it's
just like a nose. There's there's the ones that are
like teapots that are like the netty pots, But then
you can also get just like the ones that you
know whatever the drug store that are like you just
sort of squeeze, same effect, but you just shoved.

Speaker 1 (01:21):
The tweeze tube. Yeah that's a technique.

Speaker 3 (01:24):
Yah, Yeah, I've done those. But it just it's like
it's still I have to go to an E and T. Yeah,
I have to. I have to to get the whole
thing looked at, because I'm pretty sure.

Speaker 1 (01:35):
It's all just all connected. Well it is all connected.

Speaker 3 (01:39):
That I've taken anatomy, I do know that, but but that, yeah, definitely,
nothing is going to get better unless I get all
of this dealt with, or unless I move to somewhere
without pollen.

Speaker 1 (01:52):
And I don't know that that exists. Is that again,
I don't think that exists. I you know, my house
is particularly But anyway, enough about my allergy problems. Nobody
cares about that. They're like, no, first we you know,
hormones arapy. We're the allergies, right like.

Speaker 2 (02:09):
Golden Girls, who just talk about our ailments and our I.

Speaker 3 (02:12):
Mean, we're older than the actors when they played the
Golden Girls, really so, or we're we went to pre age.

Speaker 2 (02:18):
Like that's they seemed so much older in the show.
Is it because they went gray and let themselves go gray?
Why did they seem so or were we just that young?

Speaker 1 (02:28):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (02:28):
Yeah, And I think the eighties, the the late eighties
just uh high schoolers looked like they were thirty.

Speaker 1 (02:36):
That hits something to people. It aged them.

Speaker 3 (02:39):
It just it like it settled on their skin and
just kind of shrink, you know what I mean. They
just looked like they all came out of high school
like thirty five year olds that clip coupons, you know.

Speaker 2 (02:51):
Yeah, it's bad for the bad for the environment, bad
for ourselves are our aging.

Speaker 1 (02:57):
And our health, you know, Yeah, I mean the zone.
There was a lot of things that Aquinet was bad for.

Speaker 2 (03:02):
Style, you know, just style, definitely style, Yes, as is
evidenced by my hair in season two.

Speaker 1 (03:10):
Yeah, the hair. It just doesn't get better.

Speaker 2 (03:15):
Now.

Speaker 3 (03:16):
I feel like that is heavily dependent on what what
you define is better, you know what I mean? Like like,
if better you mean better to lend itself to ridiculous jokes,
then I would say we're heading in the better direction.

Speaker 2 (03:30):
Oh yeah, that's true, that's true. By better you mean
to make fun of yeah.

Speaker 1 (03:35):
You mean, uh, smaller or less offensive. I don't even
know if offensive is the right word. I'm offended by it. Well,
it just it takes up a fair amount of space,
you know what I mean, it takes it's it really,
it's it's like a helmet. It's like it's like a helmet.
But it's lovely. I'm I'm so I you know, please,

(03:58):
I look like I have.

Speaker 3 (04:00):
I looked like someone took a piece of ramen, electrocuted
it and then taped it to my head. Okay, not
even even ramen. I'd be happy if it was ramen.
Ramen would be a little thicker. Its like a like
a cotton ball that somebody lit on fire each and
then stuck on my head.

Speaker 1 (04:15):
Okay, it's a bit fuzzy. It's a bit fuzzy in
this part of season two. It's it's it's fried. That's
it's fried, is what it is. Yeah, yeah, well from
the perm oh man, Well, I mean you're still cute,
so you I mean you could pull it off. You're cute? Yes,
so are you? So? You know.

Speaker 2 (04:35):
Stupid?

Speaker 1 (04:35):
That's all right, that's all right. We got fun teage.
That's why I refuse to not let my kids go
through terrible fashion choices and hair and makeup choices, because
we had to do it, and we had to do
it on television. W So you know what, if you
are going to go through an emo phase and do

(04:57):
makeup and whatever and then post pictures of yourself all
over the I'm not gonna get in your way.

Speaker 3 (05:03):
I will fully allow because I someday also need to
look back and go, see you thought you were so cool?

Speaker 1 (05:10):
Look at you too, had a bad moment. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (05:12):
Yeah, it's a rite of passage, definitely. Yeah, let them,
Let them just suffer with their bad fashion.

Speaker 3 (05:18):
And hair choices, so right, and then and then they
can be horrified when thirty years later it comes back
and their own.

Speaker 1 (05:23):
Kids are wearing the ridiculous things that they were.

Speaker 2 (05:26):
Yeah, but we have the ultimate trump card because we
can be like, at least you weren't on TV during
all of these awkward choices. You know, I feel like
we can we always have that card.

Speaker 1 (05:36):
Yeah, uh, the better card. Let's I prefer that word.

Speaker 3 (05:39):
Oh no, but they but yeah, I do feel like, uh, yeah,
we were always although they don't want to hear that.
And truthfully, now they have the internet, so like burs,
I mean, yes, Barrue, why didn' it still stayed around
thirty plus years later because look here we are. Yeah,
but they also have that in a different way that

(05:59):
every thing that they do and post will forever hone them.

Speaker 1 (06:04):
Yeah, the intern almost probably more than we did. Well,
that's a good point. Okay, you know they've got the
social media, but it's of their own hand and they
don't even know they Yeah, they don't even know what
they've done. Yeah, they have no idea.

Speaker 3 (06:16):
No bad hairstyles might come and go, but the internet
is forever.

Speaker 2 (06:20):
Yeah, Felicity just puts emojis over her face. If she
wants to post a cute picture but she doesn't like
the way she looks, she'll put an emoji over her face.

Speaker 1 (06:27):
I've done that with all these other people are shown,
So I'm like, okay, I've done that before. Whether like
it's such a bleeder. I was like, I thought it
was fine.

Speaker 2 (06:35):
Your opinion doesn't count, mom, don't you know that? Like
you don't that's true, it doesn't count.

Speaker 1 (06:40):
Well, I know it doesn't. My Yeah, my opinion sucks.

Speaker 3 (06:43):
I try to keep it to myself, but I've learned
that as a mom that's nearly impossible. I've forgiven my
mom for a lot of times sharing an opinion when
I was like, why would you say that? And now
I'm like, because you can't help yourself, it comes out
and you go, oh.

Speaker 2 (06:55):
God, it's so great how you grow closer with your
mom as you get older because you understand. I'm wait,
I'm still I'm waiting for that day.

Speaker 1 (07:01):
I called my mom yesterday.

Speaker 3 (07:05):
It was I texted and called and texted again because
I needed her advice and I needed her to remind
me that I was doing the right thing by like
holding a boundary that I didn't want to that, but
it was also like if I rescue you from this,
like there's that's not life.

Speaker 1 (07:26):
Yeah, but it was, Oh my god, I was so hard,
but I was so hard. It was so hard.

Speaker 3 (07:31):
I needed that mom advice of like, I know, I
know I'm doing the right thing, but this really sucks
and it's uncomfortable and I don't like it, and like,
please remind me that that I'm you know. She was like, oh, yeah, yep,
you're doing the right thing. This really it sucks. So
thanks mom.

Speaker 2 (07:47):
Oh Jeanie, you never stopped needing your mom. It doesn't
matter how old you are, like, you always need your mom.

Speaker 3 (07:52):
I just I appreciated, appreciated that yesterday, and you know,
I just parents out there that are like, oh, parents, grandparents,
thank you.

Speaker 2 (08:03):
Yeah, you guys are the best and I'm sorry it
took us what thirty forty years to acknowledge that, right.

Speaker 1 (08:09):
Yeah, right? Is it to finally be like, you know what, Yeah,
you had.

Speaker 3 (08:12):
A point it well and should be doing things.

Speaker 1 (08:18):
Let's uh, let's do a little recap episode. Let's do
a little recap. This is a great one.

Speaker 2 (08:24):
This gosh, we are we are three episodes away from
the end of the series, like the end of the season.

Speaker 1 (08:31):
That's blowing my mind. Yeah, we are just.

Speaker 2 (08:34):
This last half of season two has some some bangers,
or some not bleeders, but bangers, as the.

Speaker 1 (08:41):
British would say. You got some some big ones.

Speaker 2 (08:42):
Yeah, some great episodes, especially this one, the next one
coming up.

Speaker 1 (08:46):
Yeah, they're great. So let's get into it. Hello and
welcome back to how Rude Dan Ritos. I forgot where
I was for a minute. Uh happens all the time.
Welcome back to Howard Yeah ready, ready, are you ready
and go?

Speaker 2 (09:03):
Welcome back to how Rude Tan Ritos. I'm Andrea Barber
and I'm Jody Sweeten. Today we're discussing season two, episode twenty.
I'm there for you babe. It originally aired April fourteenth,
nineteen eighty nine, and it goes a.

Speaker 1 (09:17):
Little something like this.

Speaker 2 (09:19):
On the morning of Jesse's twenty sixth birthday, he wakes
up to breakfast in bed, a slew of presents from
his loving family, and of course, the same old hectic
schedule that involves helping the kids and being an adult.

Speaker 1 (09:33):
Otherwise known as an adult birthday as yeah, yeah, as
every other birthday once yeah, once you have kids.

Speaker 2 (09:41):
The responsibilities don't stop just.

Speaker 1 (09:43):
Because your twenty birthday wash a dish. Yeah, yes, yes.

Speaker 2 (09:48):
And I still can't believe he's only twenty six, Like,
how how is he so young? Like did John just
look up? Maybe I'm permanently I still look at John
as John, Like even though he was twenty six in
this episode, I'm still looking at him as if I
were a ten year old. So I'm like, oh, because
they were way older than me, that right, But there
will always be sort.

Speaker 1 (10:09):
Of that divide, you know what I mean. And it's
like he'll always be like, oh, you're the adult.

Speaker 2 (10:13):
I can't make those mental leap that I personally am
older than he was.

Speaker 1 (10:18):
Then it's a mind, it's a mind, a mind.

Speaker 3 (10:20):
You know what, Right, Yeah, I feel like I'm always
forever frozen somewhere around like twenty and I see college
people playing sports and I'm like.

Speaker 1 (10:28):
Look at oh my god, look at those kids. Oh
I could be their mother. Oh my god.

Speaker 2 (10:32):
Yeah, it's a very sobering realization. This episode was directed
by Jack Shay and it was written by Kim Weissakoff.
We got one guest star this week, Oh boy, and
it's a big one. Michael Gregory is a mister Kuchinello.
I don't know if we ever hear his name. He's
the he's the owner of the Smash Club.

Speaker 1 (10:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (10:53):
So exciting that we get to finally see the Smash Club.

Speaker 1 (10:56):
Right.

Speaker 2 (10:57):
So, this guy's credits is longer than a CVS receipt.
He has a appeared in over four hundred TV shows, movies,
and video games.

Speaker 1 (11:04):
I know he Like.

Speaker 2 (11:05):
I was like, I know this dude, Like I've seen him. Yeah, yeah,
his face is so recognizable. I went on to his
profile and he's even more recognizable now, like as an
older man like you.

Speaker 1 (11:17):
You're like, oh, yeah, I've seen.

Speaker 2 (11:18):
Him somewhere right nowhere. He's best remembered as doctor Rick
Weber in General Hospital.

Speaker 1 (11:25):
So I wondered if John brought Okay, Yeah, probably probably.

Speaker 2 (11:29):
And he's also appeared in other iconic TV shows like Dynasty,
The Fall Guy, The A Team, Quantum Leap, and mcgiver.

Speaker 1 (11:37):
Wow, all of the all the peak eighties TV. Okay,
we start with our teaser.

Speaker 2 (11:42):
In stephan DJ's room, Michelle walks up to Stephanie, asking
Steffie play Horsey. Stephanie explains Steffie's very busy Stephie doesn't
want to play Horsey. Michelle counters, yes she does, she doesn't.

Speaker 1 (11:57):
They go back and forth until miche Well ends the argument,
pretending to cry, yes, she does come back to bite me.

Speaker 2 (12:08):
I at first I was like I didn't. I didn't
make the connection. At first, I'm like, why does this
sound so familiar?

Speaker 1 (12:13):
Oh? The first second she was like, yeah she does.
I was like, wait, what where's it going? I was like,
I knew it. Yeah h.

Speaker 2 (12:23):
So steph finally gives in. Michelle says yay, but steph
questions herself, how could I fall for the old crying routine?
I invented it so true.

Speaker 1 (12:33):
And I love your hair.

Speaker 2 (12:34):
In this episode, I feel like everyone got haircuts because
everyone's hair is a little bit shorter, a little bit.

Speaker 3 (12:40):
We probably had a hiatus, That's what I'm doing to think.
It was like we had like a nice little height,
like a a week off or two week hiatus or something,
and everybody got coughed, everybody got their hair taken care of.

Speaker 1 (12:54):
Yeah. No, that's when like mine is like my little
ringlets and it looks much less. You look like doll.

Speaker 2 (13:00):
Like you look like a living doll with your ringlets,
and you're probably sleeping.

Speaker 3 (13:04):
And it was either I either had the sponge rollers
or those I called them the worms.

Speaker 1 (13:09):
They were like little hot worms, the hot rollers that.

Speaker 3 (13:11):
You'd stick in the thing and then you'd put them
in your hair and just twist them up and leave
them there.

Speaker 1 (13:16):
You're like a pretzel. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (13:18):
Yeah, that's got to be good for your hair to
just leave us biking hot rubber thing in it, you know.

Speaker 1 (13:23):
Well those were the Aquinet days. We didn't know better. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (13:28):
So next we're in Jesse's room. Jesse is fast asleep
when Michelle walks in carrying a jack in the box.
She sets the box on Jesse's bed, right next to
his head and begins to turn the handle to play music.
The jack in the box pops open, startling Jesse awake.
He lays his head back down again. Just then Danny,
Joey Stephan DJ tiptoe in Joey starts to play air

(13:51):
guitar as the family sings a cover of the Beatles
song Birthday.

Speaker 1 (13:55):
Da Da Da Da Da. They say it's such an
appropriate song for Jesse. I think this is fantastic.

Speaker 2 (14:02):
Absolutely, So they continue with their rock and roll birthday song,
and Danny hands Jesse a big plate of waffles with
numbered candles on them that read twenty six, so we
know that it's his twenty sixth birthday. Jesse makes a
wish and blows out his candles, and then he tilts
the pan so we can see that the waffles are
shaped like a guitar.

Speaker 1 (14:22):
That's impressive.

Speaker 2 (14:23):
Yeah, you know, my hat's off to the prop prop
master who had to write make this.

Speaker 1 (14:27):
We need we need a waffle guitar.

Speaker 2 (14:31):
You know, I just, of all the people to feel
bad for on a sitcom, I feel bad.

Speaker 1 (14:36):
For the prop master. You know.

Speaker 3 (14:38):
I have to say, though on everything that I always
that I that I work on, I am always in
awe of art department props art like they're all, it's like,
you've got a thing. They're like, well, we have to
now create this thing. Yeah, that just looks like it's
always existed rights.

Speaker 2 (14:54):
And on our show, it's usually like we need this
by tomorrow. Like there's no lead time. It's always last
so maybe.

Speaker 1 (14:59):
Maybe a week from you know, from the production meeting, right,
they're like, oh, you've got a week. Can you build
a Rube Goldberg.

Speaker 3 (15:04):
Machine, which is one of those things, uh like that
you know, this is contraps and then the thing drops
and then the yeah he did that on Fuller and
they have That's exactly what I'm thinking of it.

Speaker 1 (15:15):
I'm trying to remember.

Speaker 2 (15:16):
What Steve Steve props told us. I think they only
had one or two. Usually they have multiple props, but
this was such an elaborate contraption. I think they only
had one of them.

Speaker 3 (15:26):
I mean they may basically had to have like an
engineering degree pretty much, yes, man, But it's for the
last minute. Props I've seen, you know, come together on
set when it's like oh, oh no, wait, we got it,
we need to do this, and it's like.

Speaker 1 (15:40):
All right, rip this tube of this thing. And they're
so creative. They're so creative.

Speaker 2 (15:45):
And then the worst of all is when Jody Sweeten
signs all the props.

Speaker 1 (15:49):
Then what do you do? That's the hardest job of all,
removing Sharpie from all the prop I can't believe I
did that. Damn, I'm glad you did that. I'm so
glad you did that. I cannot. I still can't be
the legend that will live on for attorney. Yeah, so perfect. Okay,

(16:12):
back to the waffles. We're back to Jesse.

Speaker 2 (16:14):
So Jesse pretends to be bashful, saying, oh, my birthday
is no big deal. But then he asks there are presents,
aren't there. Steph pulls out a gift from the three girls.
It's a wooden sign that reads happy Birthday, Jesse, the
world's greatest uncle. Oh and it's signed by Dj and Steph,
and Michelle has footprints on it because she stepped in
blue paint and walked.

Speaker 1 (16:36):
Cute.

Speaker 2 (16:37):
Danny hands his gift to Jesse. Next, Jesse excitedly tears
it open to reveal an appointment book. Now Jesse can
be as organized as Danny.

Speaker 1 (16:47):
I mean that appointment book is I remember appointment books
like that. Though it was it was a binder, it
was like a law library.

Speaker 3 (16:54):
A portable law library you just take with you and
be like, these are all the things that I need
to know that that now we're in one app on
your phone.

Speaker 1 (17:01):
What was the thing I like wrote it? I was like,
the appointment books are just it's.

Speaker 2 (17:06):
Huge, it's inconvenient, it doesn't fit your purse. Like, there's
just how do you know what?

Speaker 1 (17:11):
I weirdly miss them? I still, well, I'm a paper person.
I I don't write it down like on paper, it
doesn't stick in my brain. Yeah, I have a traditional
calendar on my fridge. I have to write things in.
Even though it's in my Google calendar on my phone.
I like to have it written down where I can
see it all at once.

Speaker 2 (17:30):
Were I'm not apologizing for it.

Speaker 1 (17:32):
I'm not either not either.

Speaker 3 (17:34):
You know, when the Internet goes down and everyone's panicking,
me and us in our appointment books are going to
be just fine.

Speaker 1 (17:39):
We're going to be our Thomas Guides.

Speaker 2 (17:42):
Yes, jen X will survive any worldwide catastrophe and we're set.
So Joey rescues Jesse from this awkward interaction by waiving
his gift in the air for Jesse. Jesse opens that
box to reveal an Elvis watch. His right hand points
to the hours, and his left hand points to the minutes.

(18:03):
Joey jokes and his hips tick off the seconds, tick baby,
talk baby.

Speaker 3 (18:09):
That's a great gift, right, I think that's a that's
I'd argue the best gift he got.

Speaker 1 (18:14):
Yeah, for sure, that's as I can just picture. So
we see how the episode goes, then I might change
my mind. Yeah. True.

Speaker 2 (18:21):
So Jesse tells everyone that twenty six will be his year.
Everything's going great in his life already, and he thinks
this will be the year his band takes off two.
In fact, he's playing with his band tonight. The whole
family is gonna watch them play. So Danny files everyone
out of Jesse's room. Steph can't believe that they have
to go to school on uncle Jesse's birthday. It's true,

(18:45):
Danny sarcastically tells her, don't worry. They'll probably hold an
assembly in his honor.

Speaker 1 (18:51):
Jesse would love that.

Speaker 2 (18:53):
Yeah, So dj stays behind to remind Jesse of their
soccer game at three point thirty.

Speaker 1 (18:58):
Jesse tells her, Hey, I'm the coach. I'm there for you, babe.

Speaker 3 (19:01):
Which is hilarious to me because John and sports are.

Speaker 1 (19:07):
So not a thing. He admits it too.

Speaker 3 (19:09):
He's yeah, he's like, I was a musician, I am
a drummer, I am an actor. I am not an athlete.
So it's just very funny.

Speaker 1 (19:16):
He's like, yeah, I'm your coach. I'm like, sure here, yeah, sure,
he did that show. We've seen those legs. They're not
soccer legs.

Speaker 2 (19:24):
Yeah, he's got the chicken legs. So do I you know,
no no judgment. He was on that show on Disney
Plus a Big Shot and there was a scene where
he was supposed to be jogging out by the ocean.

Speaker 1 (19:34):
I could tell. I'm like, okay, that's the stunt. Double oh.

Speaker 2 (19:36):
And there's a close up that's John, Like you can
tell the difference.

Speaker 1 (19:39):
Yes, it's so running is not his Yeah, you know.

Speaker 2 (19:42):
He's a very talented man and athletics is not one
of those things.

Speaker 1 (19:47):
I mean, that's I'm not everyone. It's all right. He's pretty,
he's pretty, so right, he's so.

Speaker 2 (19:56):
Michelle is the last to leave. She's bringing Jesse's gifts
with her. She looks at him and demands my birthday.
He tells her to give the gifts back, and so
she does, and adds happy buff day. Jesse tells her
she can keep the appointment book and Michelle shakes her
head no, thank you, and John can barely contain his smile.

Speaker 1 (20:15):
Yeah, it was so cute.

Speaker 2 (20:25):
Next, in Joey's room, Jesse's lying on the bed playing
the guitar and Joey announces he's finally come up with
the lyrics to their credit dentist jingle.

Speaker 1 (20:34):
Oh that's why what credit dentist's watching my diction? Thank
you very much?

Speaker 2 (20:42):
So he sings, if you need a root canal, you
don't have any money, pal, relax, don't sweat it.

Speaker 1 (20:48):
Doctor Lennox gives you credit. That's catchy. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (20:53):
He encourages Jesse to come up with a tune for
this wonderful jingle, and Jesse proceeds to give us a
not so pleasant guitar riff that's sounds like the dentist's drill.
Jesse apologizes he's working on music for tonight's gig, but
he puts the guitar down and pats Joey on the shoulder,
assuring him don't worry.

Speaker 1 (21:10):
I'm there for you, babe. That sounds every time he
says it, I'm like that sounds disingenuous. I feel like
they were trying to make it a catchphrase like have mercy,
but it was only for this episode. I got you, babe.
I'm there for you. It's kind of a Sammy Davis
Junior thing. I'm there for you, babe. Yeah, okay, I
see it, I see it.

Speaker 2 (21:27):
Danny runs down with Michelle, telling the guys he has
some news. He tells Jesse, get out your new appointment
book right down seven thirty Tonight, Sam Battersby Smash Club.

Speaker 1 (21:40):
Jesse is in awe.

Speaker 2 (21:41):
Sam Battersby is a music critic. Danny met him on
the set and talked him into seeing Jesse's band tonight.
All Danny used was his wit, his charm, and his
two giants tickets to get Sam.

Speaker 1 (21:52):
To do this.

Speaker 2 (21:54):
Jesse is so grateful he willingly gives Danny a hug
to thank him. When he realizes what he did, he sighs,
So I've been living in this house too long. Danny
gleefully walks away, and Michelle whimpers, uh oh as she's
playing with her music box. Jesse crouches down to see
what's wrong, and Michelle asks, where's Jack.

Speaker 1 (22:14):
She tries to get.

Speaker 2 (22:15):
Him out of the box by giving a nice please,
but she has no luck. Jesse takes the box and
tries to help, but Joey's getting impatient. They need to
work on their jingle. It's already two thirty. Jesse realizes, Oh,
he needs to leave for DJ's soccer game. He apologizes
to Joey and races.

Speaker 1 (22:31):
Out of the room. He's getting over stretched. I hate
days like this. I know it's when your life. I
need to be seven people right now. Yeah, you need
to clone yourself. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (22:44):
We cut to the living room, where DJ and Kimmy
are dressed in matching soccer uniforms, passing the soccer ball
back and forth.

Speaker 1 (22:51):
Excellently with precision.

Speaker 2 (22:53):
And yeah, I don't remember I remember so much of
this episode. I don't remember the soccer part, Like I
don't remember theseus. I don't remember playing with the soccer ball.
But yeah, there's other lines that live in my head. Really, Yeah,
I just forgot we played soccer. I'm like, when does
DJ play soccer? I thought she was a karate student,
but okay, so now she's she's.

Speaker 3 (23:13):
Soft the karate, soccer, horseback riding. She's got a lot
of extracurriculars.

Speaker 1 (23:17):
Going on, she does.

Speaker 2 (23:18):
She does is getting out all of her pent up
angst over being a big sister. Yeah, so, Kimmy teases her,
you'll never get the ball past me. DJ yell's and points, look, Kimmy,
Jean's on sale. Kimmy falls for this trick and TJ's
able to score a goal against her. Kimmy gets serious.
Don't ever make jokes about a sale that is so cruel?

(23:39):
Where would they be on sale? Though that Kimmy was
so this was one of those forced the joke has
to work things jokes. Jesse bolts into the room, hyping
the girls up for the big game and ushering them
towards the door. He opens the front door to reveal Stephanie.
She yells, Uncle Jesse, Uncle Jesse, tomorrow's my school bake sale.
Will you bake one hundred of your special cookies pretty please?

(24:02):
With chocolate chips on top? No?

Speaker 1 (24:05):
Do you're gonna come at me to bake a hundred
cookies for tomorrow? That's a lot of day before Yeah,
you have no. No, you have volunteered me for the
wrong thing, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (24:19):
So true to life, though kids do that, as.

Speaker 1 (24:22):
I probably have baked one hundred cookies. I think. In fact,
I did do something one time where I had to
bake cookies because Bee had volunteered to bring cookies for something.

Speaker 2 (24:30):
They sign you up for things and they tell you
the night before this is right.

Speaker 3 (24:33):
So they sign up for things and you're like, so
what do you have to do nothing now to this
is that? And then the night before they're like, oh,
by the way, I need to make a clay model
of a medieval castle.

Speaker 2 (24:42):
And you're like, yeah, the stores are closing in five minutes.
There's no time to run out, and mom.

Speaker 1 (24:48):
Has work to do. So yeah, very true to life.

Speaker 2 (24:51):
But for some reason, jesse answers, how could I turn
that down? Steph grabs his arm and starts to direct
him towards the kitchen, but DJ grabs his other arm,
forcing him to stay. She dismisses Steph, he'll bake your
cookies later, your little chicken wing. Stephanie stomps towards her
and shoots back, Oh yeah, well, if I'm a chicken wing,
then you're a can of chicken noodle soup.

Speaker 1 (25:15):
What a burn, right?

Speaker 2 (25:16):
I mean?

Speaker 1 (25:17):
Yeah, fresh chicken a canned ha.

Speaker 2 (25:21):
DJ scoffs and says, you have the brain of a paramesium.

Speaker 1 (25:26):
Steph doesn't give up. Then you only have the brain
of one mesium. Ha ha ha.

Speaker 2 (25:32):
This is such a core memory. This.

Speaker 1 (25:35):
I remember this, parames remember.

Speaker 3 (25:39):
In my head. Yeah, and you only have the brain
of one mesium. Yeah, it's like she's so confident.

Speaker 1 (25:46):
I love that joke.

Speaker 3 (25:47):
I thought it was hilarious because you know, I was
a nerdy little kid that loved like wordplay.

Speaker 1 (25:52):
I found it, you know, funny and this. Yeah, I
was like, this is great. It was so this was
like a dad joke wrapped up in a six like
it was so funny and a burn.

Speaker 3 (26:02):
It was right and a burn, and like the confidence
of a six year old that has no idea what
they're saying, but things that they do.

Speaker 1 (26:08):
So funny.

Speaker 2 (26:09):
And I looked that parameseum is a freshwater amoeba type organism.
I thought, I'm like, it's something sciency, but I'm.

Speaker 1 (26:15):
Yeah, yeah, so like a yeah.

Speaker 2 (26:18):
So next in the kitchen, stuff is talking to mister
Bear saying she'll be the one who licks the spoon
while Jesse's making cookies because mister Bear put on a
couple of pounds.

Speaker 1 (26:27):
The fat shaming in this house I swear.

Speaker 2 (26:29):
Like what like the poor bear Jesse just did this
a couple episodes ago.

Speaker 1 (26:33):
Well, this is what this is. This is what happens,
you know, giving everybody in the house a complex.

Speaker 2 (26:39):
Man diet culture was bad, bad, It's bad. So DJ,
Kimmy and Jesse burst through the door, screaming and singing, Nana, Nana,
NANAA hey, hey, goodbye, h. Steph tells DJ tells Steph
that they creamed those nerd bombers stuff, grabs an apron
and puts it around Jesse's waist. Now it's time for

(27:00):
him to make cookies.

Speaker 1 (27:02):
He doesn't hesitate.

Speaker 2 (27:03):
He tells her, I'm there for you, babe.

Speaker 1 (27:05):
I am applauding his commitment at just like yeah.

Speaker 3 (27:10):
And also his pants choice to go and coach a
soccer game in a pair of like pleated slacks with
a lovely belt and a soccer jersey tucked into them
was probably the most John thing about the entire about
the entire episode was that he would have no idea

(27:32):
how to dress as a soccer coach, and that was
what it was.

Speaker 2 (27:36):
Do we think that wardrobe had him try on athletic
pants and John was like, no, I want to wear
these pleated pants. Do you think, like, where's the disconnect?

Speaker 1 (27:44):
Was there a wardrobe? What are they gonna do? Put
him in shorts? You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (27:50):
Like, he doesn't wear shorts, No shorts. He could have
worn like joggers or some sort of like Swiss pant.

Speaker 1 (27:58):
I don't but that wasn't Jesse. Right, Yeah, you're right,
that wasn't Jesse.

Speaker 3 (28:02):
Jesse wore leaded dressed slax as a soccer coach.

Speaker 1 (28:07):
Just I noticed it, and I was like, wow, really great,
you know what?

Speaker 2 (28:12):
And I just took it as a well, okay, well
that's I didn't even like it didn't register in my
head because I'm like, well, of course he's wearing pleated pants,
because that's uncle Jess.

Speaker 1 (28:19):
Well he's wearing pleated pants.

Speaker 3 (28:21):
And I am basically I have made an entire outfit
out of lor Ashley wallpaper. Apparently that's completely matching shirt
and overalls. If I leaned up against, uh, like the
wall of my childhood bedroom, I would have disappeared. Yes,
he would have been a face splended in like a chameleon, like.

Speaker 1 (28:38):
A chessure cat with just a grin.

Speaker 3 (28:41):
Yeah, just I was I could sit on any sort
of little overstuffed chair and just blend right in.

Speaker 1 (28:47):
It's like Danny with the couch. That's yes, yes, that's
the right. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (28:52):
So then Becky walks in and says hello. She runs
up to Jesse and embraces him, wishing him a happy
twenty sixth Kimmy is flabbergasted. Twenty six Wow, that's more
than halfway to fifty. It's all downhill from here, and
she mimics an explosion to really bring home her point.

Speaker 1 (29:10):
Yeah, that was brutal. So and then I had to
laugh at being at John's sixtieth birthday and being like,
oh my god, to think then when we made that joke.

Speaker 2 (29:20):
Yeah, we've known him so dang long. Yeah, Like, I
can't even wrap my head around it. It's amazing. So
Jesse asks her, Hey, have I ever told you how
much I appreciate having you around? Kimmy says no, and
Jesse says, good, she kind of deserved that.

Speaker 1 (29:38):
Yeah, like that one.

Speaker 3 (29:39):
Sometimes we're a little harsh to get that one. I
was like, yeah, you know, I.

Speaker 1 (29:42):
Deserve that one. He'll I agree.

Speaker 2 (29:44):
So he walks towards the fridge and Becky runs after him.

Speaker 1 (29:47):
She tells him.

Speaker 2 (29:47):
He'll be getting his birthday present later, but right now
she wants to give him a preview, and she leans
in for a little makeout. Sessh forst the kids in
the kitchen with the kids, with the kids?

Speaker 3 (30:01):
Why are we making out? Why is it why everyone
just the horn dogs on this show?

Speaker 2 (30:08):
Like?

Speaker 1 (30:08):
Am I approved? I feel like I'm a punk because
I am certainly not. Okay, So if you're bothered by this, okay.

Speaker 3 (30:14):
Now I'm although, like I have to say, the other day,
I was sitting on the couch and Scale and I
were talking about like what we were gonna do for dinner.
And I was sitting there like right next to him,
kind of have my legs like you know, draped over
his lap or whatever, and he like gave me a kiss.
And the kids walked into the room. They're like, oh god, yeah,
this grows you. Yeah, but like half joking, but like

(30:36):
I wouldn't. I wouldn't just start making out with someone
in the middle of the and being like, hey, we're
gonna bone later, let me give you a preview.

Speaker 1 (30:45):
Excuse me? Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (30:47):
And it's not like they weren't aware that the girls
were in the room, like they they interacted.

Speaker 1 (30:51):
Want to get naked, Like what are you doing?

Speaker 2 (30:54):
Stop? It's like becky, becky, Yeah, she's he's all blinded
by Jesse's good looks because she's and.

Speaker 1 (31:00):
Also, what are you doing in the house? Skin it?

Speaker 3 (31:03):
I mean like get a room, like literally, like a
hotel for nineteen hundred people that leave in this live
in this house, like even.

Speaker 2 (31:11):
Just go Yeah, time to invest in a little hotel
room for the night or whatever.

Speaker 1 (31:15):
Anyway, Okay, so anyways, we cut three hornballs and realize
that there's children in the room.

Speaker 2 (31:21):
Yeah, the girls are full on staring at them and smiling.
DJ clears her throat to remind the adults, Hey, they're
still here, and Jesse tells them they need to get
dressed if they're gonna come to the Smash Club tonight
to watch his band.

Speaker 1 (31:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (31:35):
Kimmy is ecstatic, thanks for inviting me, and she sprints
out the door. Jesse tries to stop her, but it's
too late. Steph tells Jesse she's going to get changed,
but he needs to bake, baby bake, and she scurries
up the stairs. Steph is like, I'm going to keep
you on task, like, don't like she doesn't give him
a minute to sit down, go peete nothing.

Speaker 1 (31:53):
She's just like, you're great. I mean that's typical kid,
right you walk, It're like, wow, I'm really tired. They're like,
and now my thing.

Speaker 2 (32:01):
Becky asks Jesse what time she should pick him up
for the wedding tomorrow, but he has no idea what
she's talking about. She rolls her eyes and to remind
him whose wedding it is. It's my uncle's first wife's
son in law.

Speaker 3 (32:14):
Oh that would be no for me if in an RSVP. No, no, no,
not going to stretch, ma'am. Yeah, I'm certainly not buying
a present.

Speaker 1 (32:24):
The present is that you show up to this wedding
for this person that you barely know. I mean, I
wouldn't even want to show. I'd be like, why are
you paying for my meal? You know me, You've got
to have a friend that you're closer to than first
wife's son in law feels.

Speaker 3 (32:37):
But I guess we're trying to establish that Becky has
this big, very close in family and true.

Speaker 2 (32:42):
So Jesse smiles and tells her, don't worry. I'm there
for you, babe.

Speaker 1 (32:46):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 2 (32:48):
Joey and Danny walk in and They both found Jesse
with tasks that they need him to do. Joey needs
the music for the dentist jingle and Danny needs help
fix in his car. Jesse's on top of it. He's
determined to do it all, but most importantly, it's time
for him to head to the Smash Club. We get
our very first Smash Club, Ladies and gentlemen. This I

(33:09):
didn't realize it. It appeared the Smash Club appears in
season two. I thought that was a little bit later on.

Speaker 3 (33:14):
I actually thought the Smash Club appeared much earlier in
the show. I thought it was one like in season
one that Jesse plays the Smash Club. But it's just
the comedy club that was in the same exact building
and set up the same exact way.

Speaker 1 (33:30):
As the Smash Club.

Speaker 2 (33:32):
It's the same set. They just painted it added some
different furniture. Yeah, we love to repurpose.

Speaker 3 (33:37):
And I have to say they got there at what
six fifteen pm?

Speaker 1 (33:40):
Because that's what he says, I have to be there
at six weeks.

Speaker 3 (33:42):
Oh yeah, that is a really that's a pack nightclub
for six fifteen pm.

Speaker 1 (33:47):
That's true. Well, and they allowed children well, and they
and they allowed children so maybe they're hurting for money
and they'll just be like, well, we'll let in anybody.

Speaker 2 (33:54):
If you're homeless, will let you in, if you're ten
years old, will let you in. Like, well, they're just
like letting everybody in.

Speaker 1 (34:00):
I don't know. I mean, I yeah, it should have
been like a ten PM show. I agree, yeah for
a music but then you can't. Yeah, then the joke's
going out to see a show at six fifteen.

Speaker 3 (34:12):
If they were, the crowd would be probably considerably older.

Speaker 1 (34:15):
They would be our age that that is so accurate,
and they just well into their mid forties.

Speaker 2 (34:24):
Oh, man, never felt older than I do right now.
So Danny walks in wearing a suit. Of course, he
bribed the owner of the club with two Giants tickets
to let the girls in. Wait, yeah, I know what
you're gonna say, because I wrote at the same note I.

Speaker 1 (34:39):
Thought the two tickets went to the to.

Speaker 3 (34:42):
The Sam Battersby Damn Battersby, which when he walked in
the hands in the tickets.

Speaker 1 (34:47):
I was like, oh, that's the music. I was very
confused for a moment. No, you're right. I went back
and watched it.

Speaker 2 (34:51):
You're right, the tickets were meant for Sam Battersby and
but he hands them to this.

Speaker 3 (34:56):
And then I bound that was going to turn into
a thing where Danny gave him to the wrong like.

Speaker 1 (34:59):
But oh, I was like, oh, I was confused. I
don't know what happened.

Speaker 2 (35:04):
Either he gave the tickets to the wrong person, or
he just has a lot of Maybe he has season
tickets to the Giants. He has too many tickets and
now he's just handing them out like willy nilly.

Speaker 1 (35:13):
I don't know. I don't know.

Speaker 3 (35:15):
Incoming message from our producer who knows things he made,
he makes a joke about giving away all of his
Giants tickets to people for favors like this, So I
think he's just handingnstantly.

Speaker 1 (35:27):
So he gets got it?

Speaker 2 (35:28):
Okay, that's the only way he gets stuff done is
just by people with his Giants.

Speaker 1 (35:33):
I was confused as well, got it?

Speaker 2 (35:36):
So glad we that clarification? Yeah, thank you, Maddie. Uh So,
DJ and Kimmy take it all in. They are in
a rad place filled with cute guys, and Steph makes
a comment at least no one's wearing my outfit.

Speaker 1 (35:50):
Thank god? Were you worried about that?

Speaker 3 (35:52):
I'm sure I mean, Scottie dogs were apparently very popular.
I'm sure there was one on the cover of my sweatshirt.
You know, who knows anybody could be wearing one, And.

Speaker 2 (36:01):
I'm wearing my little black hat, which was my personal hat,
my tribute to Joey McIntyre. It just didn't have the circle.

Speaker 1 (36:08):
Yeah I have that. It's in like every photo from
that I remember. I remember you remember attached to your head. Yeah, yeah,
which is good. The mullet needs to be covered up
like it. Maybe, See, maybe that's the thing. We don't
have anything to really compare it to because you always
had that hat on.

Speaker 2 (36:26):
Oh so that's why my hair looks extra bag It
was maybe the hat was holding down the mullet.

Speaker 1 (36:32):
Maybe maybe your hair.

Speaker 3 (36:34):
Didn't grow right out of your head, like just really
thick like that, and it needed the weight of the
of the hat.

Speaker 2 (36:39):
To kind of train it for a little Yeah, or
I wonder if I just I was I just let
the hairstylists cut my hair so terribly because I wanted
to wear that hat on the show.

Speaker 1 (36:51):
So I was like, fine, you do whatever. Yeah, you
were like, give me a bullet, give me the hat,
get to wear my hat. Yeah, that could be it too.
Let's go with that, okay, because something was it was
a it was an intentional move, Let's go with that.

Speaker 2 (37:04):
So the whole family walks over to Jesse to see
him before the big performance, and Jesse's wearing, yes, the
black leather jacket with fringe on the sleeves and black
leather chaps. Why is he wearing chaps? Is that a
rock and roll thing or like what I mean?

Speaker 3 (37:23):
Uh, you know, Prince Prince did it with the assless
pants but not the chaps.

Speaker 1 (37:29):
So I feel like this was sort of a.

Speaker 3 (37:31):
Around the same era, you know what I mean, maybe
a little earlier, but yeah, chaps.

Speaker 2 (37:36):
Were you know, I can't believe he walked out with
a straight face. I thought this was a joke waiting
to happen, and it's not.

Speaker 1 (37:43):
I thought you were gonna say, you can't believe he
walked out as a straight man.

Speaker 3 (37:45):
No, then yeah, yeah, chaps are choice. They're a choice
if you're not riding long distance on a motorcycle.

Speaker 1 (37:56):
Maybe he was.

Speaker 3 (37:57):
Maybe he was riding on motorcycle and didn't want to
ruin his pleated pants jeans, his pleated pants that he
wore to a soccer game.

Speaker 1 (38:10):
I don't know. I don't know.

Speaker 2 (38:11):
The thing is, you know, John Stamos isn't gonna wear
anything that John Stamos doesn't want to wear. So this
was an intentional choice by John Stamos to wear these
leather chaps.

Speaker 3 (38:20):
Yeah, yeah, he's gotta he's gotta take some accountability for
the Yeah, because like and you with chaps, you can't
like at least me it it only highlights like you
know what I mean, like you don't want to look
at they're you know, they're they're they're big in other

(38:41):
in other communities. But it, yes, it's just all it
was all I was like, I'm only seeing what I
have to.

Speaker 2 (38:48):
Which I'm sure for the ladies that were in love
with him that was great, but for us like us,
like no, like I don't want to see that, Like
put that away, Jesse.

Speaker 3 (38:55):
Well, I mean as a kid, I probably wasn't like
but but now as an adult, all like it's.

Speaker 2 (38:59):
I still I don't want to see it. At forty seven,
I still don't want to see that.

Speaker 1 (39:05):
It is a it's a choice. It was a choice. Man.
Can you imagine though?

Speaker 3 (39:09):
Hit Jesse on his motorcycle fringe and his jacket blowing in.

Speaker 1 (39:12):
The limb oh Man. Yeah, actually I can't see that.
I can tell you him.

Speaker 2 (39:17):
No, I can't drive it up to Tahoe. Yeah, his
chaps and his fringe. Yep, yeah, I can actually go
see that.

Speaker 1 (39:23):
Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 2 (39:25):
So Jesse is not too overjoyed.

Speaker 1 (39:28):
He's upset.

Speaker 2 (39:28):
Actually his band did not show up. He feels like
an idiot because he double booked the band. They're currently
at a holiday inn in Sacramento. He could have sworn
he canceled it, but he's been so confused lately with
all the things that are going on. Kimmy nods understandingly
tough break. Anybody want to see a movie? There's no response.

(39:49):
She's just so sensitive.

Speaker 1 (39:50):
She's just like yeah, anyway.

Speaker 2 (39:52):
The club owner walks over to Jesse, telling him he
needs to play, whether he has a band or not.
He points to Sam Battersby remind him that his review
could make or break him. Jesse puts on a fake
smile and says showtime. Jesse asks aloud, where am I
going to find a band? Cut to the stage, which
is now filled with the entire Tanner family and Kimmy

(40:14):
and Becky. Of course, of course we are Joey's playing harmonica,
Danny's playing the guitar. Becky and the girls are I'll
snapping off beat.

Speaker 1 (40:23):
It is a disaster.

Speaker 2 (40:27):
Jesse looks over at them in shock, and Danny confidently
tells him, we're there for.

Speaker 1 (40:31):
You, babe. Oh dear this this chaos is about to ensue.
I feel like.

Speaker 3 (40:37):
If I were the club owner, I would not be like,
you have to play. I'd be like, we're just slap
a tape in there and call it a day.

Speaker 1 (40:46):
You know, it's only gonna make him look bad that
it's true. The alternative is far worse. Right, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (40:54):
He must have meant like Jesse has to play solo,
like he's got it, just.

Speaker 1 (40:58):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (41:00):
That you walked into a bar slash nightclub and there
was a seven year old on the stage, you might
be like, maybe this isn't for me, But like.

Speaker 2 (41:10):
This isn't say Same Street Live, this is.

Speaker 1 (41:12):
Right smash club. Yeah, it's a smash club.

Speaker 2 (41:15):
So we cut to an awkward commercial break and we're
back continuing. In the smash club, Jesse is reminding his
makeshift band that this is one of the easiest songs
ever written. Danny has no doubt that they can do it.

(41:36):
Everyone puts their hands in the middle and they do
a huge and break.

Speaker 1 (41:41):
Just like our huddles are pre show huddles. Is this
where we got this or we were.

Speaker 3 (41:46):
We were already doing We're already doing our weird like
yelling and break thing.

Speaker 1 (41:50):
But yeah, that's what it looks like.

Speaker 2 (41:52):
Anyone who wants who wants to know what our pre
show huddle looks like?

Speaker 1 (41:55):
That was it right there? Yep?

Speaker 2 (41:57):
Jesse stairs in horror. It's come down to this Jess
and the Partridge family. The owner introduces them. The Smash
Club is proud to no, the Smash Club is contractually
obligated to present Jesse, and Jesse finishes these other guys.
The crowd lets out a rowdy applause. Jesse asks them

(42:17):
if they're ready to rock and roll, muttering, I hope
we are. Steff yells into the microphone rock and roll like.
The family is so excited about this, like they.

Speaker 1 (42:27):
Don't care that. So finally.

Speaker 2 (42:32):
Jesse begins with a crazy guitar riff and begins to
sing do what Diddy? The family joins in and they
sound terrible. Kimmy's on the keyboard, DJ's on the drums.
Steph is tambourining and.

Speaker 1 (42:46):
Becky everything I've got.

Speaker 2 (42:48):
Becky's got the biggest grin on her face like she's
trying to sell.

Speaker 1 (42:52):
It, and it's so funny, like I'm here and it's great. Yeah,
nothing's wrong, nothing's wrong.

Speaker 2 (43:00):
They continue with this offbeat and off key performance, and
then DJ does a drum solo, Danny follows with a
guitar solo, and Joey gives us a bluesy harmonica solo.
Two people from the crowd get up and leave. Sam
watches and shakes his head in disappointment. Oh, but Jesse
has to finish the song. The terribleness continues, and eventually

(43:23):
the entire crowd gets up and leaves. Jesse watches the
whole thing unfold, and he is speechless. I kind of
enjoyed it, like because I lean into the campiness of
full house.

Speaker 1 (43:34):
I'm like, this is great, Like I really right, it
was ridiculous, and well, I was laughing.

Speaker 3 (43:38):
Too, because I was thinking, like, it's actually very funny
because between most of everybody on that stage, we sing
or play an instrument, So it's just funny that you know,
we're all like we're really terrible and have no rhythm,
but you.

Speaker 1 (43:51):
Know it's great. I have Maddy a night at John's house.
We've actually the band's art imitates life. Yeah, exactly, Yeah,
it's true.

Speaker 2 (44:01):
So a little while later, we're still in the Smash Club.
The audience is practically empty as Steph is singing b
I n g O on the stage with the whole
family back in her. Jesse's the only one who doesn't
seem to be enjoying it. Once the song ends.

Speaker 1 (44:14):
They decide to do it again. At that point, went
on the ninety nine bottles of beer on the wall
something you know.

Speaker 2 (44:21):
No, Steph is stuck on this this bingo. She knows
this song by heart, and she's excited about it very
and Jesse is just sitting there like, you know, he's
just limply sitting there, not even contributing, just trying.

Speaker 1 (44:35):
To block it all out. Yeah, it's just like this
isn't happening. Later on, we're in Jesse's room.

Speaker 2 (44:41):
Jesse is sleep singing b I n g O, and
Steph walks in carrying a large bowl and a newspaper.
Jesse thanks her for waking him up because he was
having a terrible nightmare. Steph tells him there's an article
in the paper about their band. Jesse realizes it wasn't
a nightmare, and he covers his head with a pillow.
Steph decides to read the article out loud. If you

(45:04):
missed Jesse and these other guys last night, you're luckier
than I am. They were so bad a room of
tone deaf metal heads were forced to flee the building.

Speaker 1 (45:13):
Not great.

Speaker 2 (45:14):
Jesse snatches this newspaper from her. There must be one
good thing written in here. Somewhere he finds something. The
bright spot of the evening was the inspired keyboard plane
of the adorable Kimmy Gibbler.

Speaker 1 (45:28):
Yay flowers. Yes, I'm living for this moment, but Steph
is shocked. Adorable. Are you sure it doesn't say ador Bell?

Speaker 2 (45:42):
I left so hard at that line, ador Bell, Kimmy Gibler.

Speaker 1 (45:47):
You know it fits.

Speaker 2 (45:49):
So Jesse sighs. He tosses the newspaper and declares that
his career is over. Steph cheerfully responds, well, at least
you have plenty of time to bake cookies for the
bake sale.

Speaker 1 (46:00):
Yeah back to me. She doesn't quit like she doesn't
give them Sorry. Yeah, that sucks anyway, get your whisk Yeah,
exactly right from buddy.

Speaker 2 (46:11):
Jesse repeats his now catchphrase, I'm there for you, babe,
and Michelle walks in the room carrying her broken Jack
in the box. Jesse told her he'd fix it, but
at the same time DJ is now calling, calling for
him too. He tells Michelle he'll be right back, and
she pouts on nuts. Michelle's got a catchphrase, I love it.

Speaker 1 (46:31):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (46:33):
Jesse walks into DJ and Stephf's room and DJ is
standing there wearing her soccer uniform. She questions him, why
aren't you dressed? Our game starts in an hour. Steph
butts in he can't be your coach. He's baking my cookies.
Jesse stops them from fighting, telling them he's got everything
under control. He walks out of the room and Joey
stops him in the hallway. He asks Jesse, how's the

(46:54):
music coming along for the jingle. Jesse says, oh, he'll
go write it right now, and DJ and Stuff botht hey.

Speaker 1 (47:02):
Back in Jesse's room.

Speaker 2 (47:03):
DJ asks about her soccer, Steph asks about her cookies,
and Michelle asks about Jack. Jesse bends down to help
Michelle and Danny walks in wearing a filthy shirt while
holding a carburetor. He asks Jesse white's not working, and
Jesse explains because it's in your hand and not under
your hood. Danny doesn't find this funny. The rest of

(47:25):
the family chimes in with things that Jesse's supposed to
help them with, too. Jesse still thinks he can handle it,
coming up with an elaborate plan of what he can
do to accomplish everything at once. On cue, Becky walks
in and she's all dressed for the wedding. Uh oh,
Jesse starts to malfunction.

Speaker 1 (47:45):
This line was so funny. He did such a great
job he did.

Speaker 2 (47:49):
He can't possibly go to the wedding When he has
soccer balls to bake and has to tune up the
dentist jingle, he shouts, just because I'm twenty six doesn't
mean I can do twenty six things at want because
I can't. Then Kimmy walks in. She excitedly asked Jesse
if he's read the band's review yet. Jesse screams and

(48:10):
runs back to bed. Michelle tells him.

Speaker 1 (48:13):
Don't worry, be happy. You know I us, Jesse, I.

Speaker 2 (48:17):
Usually dislike Jesse's tantrums. But I really related to this.
I felt like this was definitely warranted.

Speaker 3 (48:22):
You know, this is what my brain feels like most
days with kids with ADHD, with all of it.

Speaker 1 (48:30):
Where you're like spinning in the middle of the room
like I got.

Speaker 3 (48:33):
And then somehow you look down and you have a
carburetor in your hand and you can't figure out why.

Speaker 1 (48:37):
You're juggling all the balls juggling all the.

Speaker 3 (48:39):
Carburetors come out and they're like, hey, a, you're taking
me to my rehearsal practice thing and you're.

Speaker 2 (48:43):
Like, oh God, Like, oh crap, I forgot about that.
Yet it gets worse as you get older because in
your memory, like I have to write everything down or
do it right away, and if I say I'll write
that down later, I will forget.

Speaker 1 (48:54):
I will forget. So this is very relatable. I very
much relate to Jesse.

Speaker 2 (48:59):
Yeah, So a little while later, back in Jesse's room,
Becky is carrying a tray as she walks in and
announces your breakfast is served. Danny and Joey follow behind,
rolling in a TV. Jesse is confused and Danny explains
that this is day one of his well deserved one
day vacation. Steph hands Jesse his reading material, recommending Curious George,

(49:23):
and Joey has three Stooges queued up for him on
the TV. Jesse recognizes how nice this is, but he
doesn't think he deserves it. In fact, he feels like
he let everyone down. Becky kindly reminds him to give
himself a break. There's no possible way he can do
everything all at once. Jesse asked, well, what about all
the stuff he promised to do for them? Joey says

(49:46):
he got extra time to finish their jingle. Becky's cousin
will keep her company at the wedding. Joey will coach
the soccer team, Danny is going to bake the cookies,
and mister Goodrench is fixing the car.

Speaker 1 (49:59):
Why have been the way things went in the first place?
Because the joke's gotta work? Because I know, why couldn't
that have been the plan first? Because the joke has
to work? Yeah? That was, But you you haven't astute
point is that? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (50:14):
They they should have recognized that he was about to
break down at any minute. They shouldn't have waited for.

Speaker 1 (50:19):
The breakdown, right, Well, but what family ever does that
your family communicates.

Speaker 3 (50:24):
You know, does your family ever look at you?

Speaker 2 (50:27):
Go?

Speaker 1 (50:27):
Oh, she looks like she's got a lot on her plate.
I should really not ask for something. No, they don't know.
They never do. No, it's speaking of me. Here's the
thing I need.

Speaker 2 (50:37):
Right, So, Jesse doesn't want to miss any of this stuff,
though he smiles. I feel like I'm needed. You know,
this is my family and I'm supposed to be the
world's greatest uncle. Danny responds, you are, but you still
have to learn to balance your priorities. Ding ding ding yep.

(50:57):
He gives an example. It's great that you want to
bake cookie for Stephanie, but not if it means it's
gonna cost you your job. Stephan interrupts, unless you want
to be a baker, and Danny thanks her, but steph
doesn't realize it was sarcasm. Joey tells Jess it's okay
to ask for help once in a while. We're all
a team here. Jesse smiles, Thank you. I love being

(51:20):
part of this team. Danny yell's okay, everybody dogpile on your.

Speaker 1 (51:24):
Uncle, Jesse.

Speaker 2 (51:25):
Jesse ducks for cover, and the whole family does a
pseudo dog pile on top of him. Danny sighs, ah, man,
we don't do this nearly enough. He gets up and
tells his family that uncle Jesse's on vacation and they've
all got stuff to do. Everyone files out, except for Becky.
She hugs Jesse and tells him as soon as the
wedding's over, I'm coming right back here to see if

(51:47):
I can get you totally relaxed. WHOA I wonder like
if the writers were getting feedback about like the audience
is really responding to this couple, this Jesse couple.

Speaker 1 (51:58):
Yeah, so lean into the sex bits. You know this
was a note.

Speaker 2 (52:04):
Jesse smirks, let me just say have mercy, and Becky laughs,
I like the way you say that. They say goodbye,
and Michelle pops up from around the corner, sadly, saying,
wake up, jack h Jesse breaks it to her, I'm sorry, babe,
but your uncle.

Speaker 1 (52:20):
Jay is on vacation. He kicks up his feet to relax.

Speaker 2 (52:23):
And Michelle hits him with a I love you. He
gets out of bed, telling her and I love you too.
He plops her into his lap. Determined to get this
box working, He enthusiastically winds up the music box and
Jack pops out Ta Da Ta Da. Michelle has a

(52:44):
huge grin spread across her face and Jesse says, I
told you I'm there for you, babe, And this is
so sweet this part.

Speaker 1 (52:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (52:53):
Michelle pets his cheek and mimics for you, babe, and
Jesse responds, no, for you, babe, and they go back
and forth until Jesse pulls her in for a big
kiss and tickles her. And that is our show. I
love that bit.

Speaker 1 (53:10):
You know.

Speaker 2 (53:10):
I don't always love like, you know, the little manufactured
Michelle bits, but this genuine, like you could see the
chemistry between them.

Speaker 3 (53:19):
Now, this was genuine is very sweet and very cute.
And I liked this episode because you know it. I mean, yes,
there's obvious, you know, a lot of holes. I'm like,
we'll just do it that way in the first place.
But the message of the show was about like not
trying to live up to standards that you can't set,
you know what I mean, Your kids will think that

(53:41):
you're great even if you can't, you know, bake the
cookies and coach the team and do the club and
write the jingle and do the wedding, and you know
mm hmmm, that it's all about balance and priorities and
asking for help. That that was the big thing because
you know, we know that Jesse doesn't like asking for help.
So this was kind of again like when he broke

(54:04):
his arms and like this, it's you know, Jesse is
constantly having to learn the lesson of like it's okay
to ask for help, It's okay to rely on other people.
You know, as we can see, Grandpa Nick has really
done a number on him. So he's a lot to
untangle there in terms of you know, relationships.

Speaker 1 (54:24):
But yes, but Becky's.

Speaker 3 (54:26):
But Becky's having a good effect and and you know,
he's realizing he needs to ask for help.

Speaker 1 (54:31):
Yeah, you can't be all things to everyone all the time.

Speaker 2 (54:36):
It's a great lesson. And you know, I'm glad it's
they didn't. I mean, there's no mom in the show,
so I'm glad, but I'm glad it's like, hey, this
can happen to guys too, you know, it's not just
one thing of like the frazzled mom and around.

Speaker 3 (54:48):
Yeah, and that's why you need an appointment book the
size of the Yellow Pages.

Speaker 2 (54:53):
I also liked Tyol this This is an episode where
it's like there was just one storyline. I like these
episodes where all the whole families and there's not an
a it was just one storyline, one a storyline.

Speaker 3 (55:03):
Yeah, yeah, it was everybody was involved in the main story.
I felt like last time we were a little diluted
with like three things going on.

Speaker 1 (55:14):
It was a kind of storylines.

Speaker 3 (55:16):
This one felt a little more cohesive and kind of
had a had more of a like a message.

Speaker 1 (55:23):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (55:24):
I wonder if that's harder to write to one storyline
or multiple storylines. I don't because we don't see these
one storylines all the time. So I wonder if it's
harder to write to. And that's why they.

Speaker 3 (55:35):
Probably yes, because you have to manufacture each person's interest
in that particular story, the problem or that which was
why everyone everyone needed to get something different from Jesse,
you know.

Speaker 1 (55:50):
And in that case it would.

Speaker 3 (55:52):
Probably be easy, but but would be hard to like
imagine everybody caring necessarily about the same thing.

Speaker 2 (55:59):
Yeas, and especially with such such a diverse like the
age range. You got a baby, and then you got
a third an age range, a thirty year old and.

Speaker 1 (56:07):
A baby, right right, They were so old back.

Speaker 2 (56:09):
Then yeah, well, did you have a an everywhere you look?

Speaker 1 (56:13):
Before? Oh? Did I have an everywhere? Wait? Hold on,
did I did? I? I did not? I really did?
I sort of have this one? I did.

Speaker 2 (56:21):
I wrote down that I saw black marks on the
carpet in Jesse's bedroom, and at first I was like, oh,
they forgot to pull up our marks that they set
so we know where to stand.

Speaker 1 (56:30):
But and then I looked closer, I'm like, oh, I
think it's just dirt. I thought they.

Speaker 3 (56:33):
Forgot Yeah, probably, yeah, yeah, you know, I didn't. I
didn't have anything on this one. You know, everywhere he looks,
that's fair. I looked hard in this smoth and me
wearing a wallpaper.

Speaker 2 (56:44):
I thought for sure we'd recognize somebody in the smash club.

Speaker 1 (56:47):
I paused it a couple of times and was looking around.

Speaker 3 (56:49):
There were a couple of people there who I know
were I think friends of John's.

Speaker 1 (56:54):
Oh okay, at the time.

Speaker 3 (56:55):
There were a couple of people whose faces I had
seen around and recognized, but I did not remember their name,
and I know they were sort of friends of John's.
They were in the Spash Splash club. I was when
they first made mention of the of the rippers. I
was really looking for Ripper with the rat tail. Oh, yes,
I was really hoping.

Speaker 1 (57:18):
We got like where this guy has to come back?

Speaker 3 (57:21):
I hope, mostly because I just wanted to see if
the rat tail had survived.

Speaker 2 (57:25):
Yeah, it's been like a whole season since we've seen him,
so it's yeah, did it survive?

Speaker 1 (57:29):
Did it gets shop?

Speaker 2 (57:31):
Last we saw him, was he in tall or in
the living room? He was in the living room. He
was in the living room. They were singing something. I
don't know, that's right.

Speaker 1 (57:38):
They were singing that some do wall sort of. Yeah.
Yeah in season one, okay, and yeah, he hasn't appeared since.
Time sicken for that rat tail man. I kind of
miss it. I missed the rat tail, right I did.
I'm not sure I miss it.

Speaker 3 (57:52):
I miss it not enough to like, you know, have
the scout grow one, or you know, have someone cut
in and like leave it on the desk as a pet.

Speaker 1 (58:00):
But you know, you know, we're getting at the next
nineties cone. Now people rat hair extensions and they're like,
this is the rat tail. Rat tails.

Speaker 3 (58:15):
Yeah, it's a funny idea. Please don't need them, Please don't.
I don't need weird I don't need to be questioning
where those hair extensions came from.

Speaker 2 (58:24):
We don't need Yeah, we don't need fake hair. We
don't need hair just no, yeah, but thank you preemptively.

Speaker 1 (58:33):
Yeah, we just write a note. We prefer notes like
this is representing a rat. Just draw us a rat tail. No,
don't even do that. Don't even do that. Bring an
actual rat with a tail. It's we're getting We're digging
this whole deeper and deeper. Rats. They're cute.

Speaker 3 (58:49):
They're very sweat you like rats, not like the like
you know, the subway rats. Those ones are a little
scary in my stab you but no like rat They're
incredibly intelligent.

Speaker 1 (59:02):
They're smart, cute little faces.

Speaker 2 (59:05):
No, they have read beady eyes. They look like they're
plotting your death. I mean, I like them, but I
also I only see like wild rats. I don't I
don't really see them as pets. I don't know it's
kinably a hamster.

Speaker 1 (59:18):
I guess hamsters or yeah, they're they're dirty, little little
dirty little hamsters, dirt little hamsters.

Speaker 3 (59:26):
Yea, is this our post show chatchat, This is our
post chatter about hamsters and rattails. So you're welcome everyone,
and UH. If you have thoughts about rat tails, hamsters,
or this show, please follow us on Instagram, send us
a DM at how Red podcast, or you can send
us an email for your more lengthy UH descriptions and

(59:48):
concerns about rattails and or hamsters when you can email
us at Howard podcast at gmail dot com. Make sure
that you're liking and subscribing to the podcast wherever you're
listening to it so that you can can get all
the newest episodes as soon as they drop, because where
would you get other important breaking information about rat tails.

Speaker 1 (01:00:07):
Uh your number one source of rat tail information. Thank you,
guys so much for joining us for another ridiculous episode
of Howard.

Speaker 3 (01:00:18):
Tannerto's We love you guys. We're having so much fun.
And remember the world is full. No oh oh, you
had a streak going and you just broke it.

Speaker 1 (01:00:28):
You're gonna say, I had a stroke. I thought the
world is small, the house is full. You saved it,
You saved it. But wow, that was I was distracted
by rattails. That's all you can think about. Didn't think
about anything else