This is The Zone of Disruption! This is the I AM RAPAPORT: STEREO PODCAST! His name is Michael Rapaport aka The Gringo Mandingo aka The Monster of Mucous aka Captain Colitis aka The Disruptive Warrior aka Mr. NY aka The Inflamed Ashkenazi aka The Smiling Sultan of Sniff aka The Flat Footed Phenom is here to discuss: Being proud to be working, upcoming stand up comedy dates, money to be made this weekend in sports betting, a new Nas album dropping, planking videos, Aaron Rodgers getting hurt after 3 snaps, getting tickets taken away from NBA, watching the New York Giants lose 40-0 on a plane, advice for cancelled flights, Hunter Biden Indicted & a whole lotta mo'! This episode is not to be missed!
Stand Up Comedy Tickets on sale at: MichaelRapaportComedy.com
Follow on YouTube at: https://www.youtube.com/@MichaelRapaport
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:11):
Yes, Brandon Banging Iron Rapport Stereo podcast is here.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Heygetdy, Have no fear on today's banging I Am Rappaport
Stereo podcast. What should what could the New York Jets
do now that the big Lebowski Aaron Rodgers has went down?
Should they bring in Colin Kaepernick? People are saying bring
Colin Kaepernick in despite the fact that he has not
(00:33):
played professional football in seven years. Plus horror story. I
had a horror story on my flight.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
From Salt Lake City back to New York and Hunter
Biden is indicted.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
All that more onny brand new Banging fully Disruptive Iron
Rapports Stereo podcast coming up right now, Myles Jordanike the
Bleach Bud is aka the Dignity.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Does Bud start this.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Puppy off tough, real nicees nott this puppy off tough
reelund guests, But most important start ar't this puppy off
with something real?
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Bunk its Iron Rapperport stereo punks, Let's fucking go.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
All right, have no fear of the Iron Rappaport stereo
podcasts here, heyg they have no fear. The I M
Rappaport Stereo podcast is here. Welcome to the Iron Dome
of Disruption. Welcome to the Signey Zone, the Cicgey Zone,
the Cigay Zone of Disruption. Name is Michael Rappaport aka
(01:43):
the Inflamed ash Gnazi a k a. The Sultan of
Sniff a k a. The Gringo man Dingo a k a.
The Raging Bullshitter aka Mister New York a k a.
The Disruptive Warrior. Hope everybody's feeling good. Hope everybody's feeling safe.
(02:05):
Hope everybody is feeling sane. And I welcome you to
the Iron Dome of Disruption. And I welcome you to
the Sigity Zone of Disruption. Iron rap Port Stereo podcast.
Tell a friend to tell a friend to join you
and listen. Get of listening parties. Friends should listen together
(02:30):
all across the world, speaking of the world, giving shout
out to the to the Rapa Pack here in the
United States, across all the beautiful, beautiful states of the
United States of America. Shout out to the Rapa Pack
in South America, Brazil. Shout out to the Rapa Pack
(02:52):
in Tel Aviv, Israel, New Zealand, Switzerland, France. Mister New
York of course out there holding us down with the.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
Gorgeous art work.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Oh, you should all follow check out the artwork of
mister new York. He spells it misteer mister new York
from Patti. Shout out to everybody in Russia, Spain, Italian
and places unknown.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
And I have not mentioned on today's I am Rappaport
stereo podcasts.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Feeling real good, feeling real safe, feeling real sane, working,
fortunate to be working because the writers and the actors
are on strike and it sucks big fat elephant dick.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
But I am on tour.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
I will be in San Diego back at the American
Comedy Connection the twenty first, twenty second, and the twenty
third and the twenty fourth. I'm gonna be down there
in San Diego for four days, twenty first, twenty second,
twenty third and the twenty fourth. One show on the
twenty first, two shows on the twenty second, two shows
(04:09):
on the twenty third, and one nightcap on Sunday, September
twenty fourth, and then I'm gonna be in Pittsburgh. I
cannot wait to be in Pittsburgh at City Winery the
twenty ninth and the thirtieth of September. You know, I
love my Pittsburgh Steelers from the olden days with the
(04:34):
Rocky Blier, Frank O'harris Jack, Lambert Jack Ham else Greenwood
mean Joe Green Pittsburgh Steelers. Then I'm gonna be in Atlanta,
Hot Atlanta October sixth and seventh City Winery, and then
I'm gonna be back in Chicago. I cannot wait to
perform in Chicago also September. I'm sorry October twentieth twenty first,
(05:00):
the twentieth twenty first, uh and those are my shows
for the next couple of weeks in September and October.
All tickets, all information is available at Michael Rapportcomedy dot com.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Like I said, we have.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
San Diego, then we have Pittsburgh, then we have Atlanta,
then we have Chicago. All tickets, all information, all things
you need to know to come see me live are
available at Michael Rappaportcomedy dot com. And if you listen
(05:36):
to the Iron Rapp Report stereo podcast, all you need
to do is say dingo. You could DM me ninety
nine point nine percent of the time. If you listen
to the Iron Rapport stereo podcast, you say dingo, you
say disruptive warrior, You'll see the proof is in the pudding.
Matter of fact, I'm gonna go out of my way
(05:59):
the next couple of shows in the next couple of
cities to make sure that I meet and greet specifically,
I am Rapaport Stereo podcast listeners. All take its own
information available Michael Rapaportcomedy dot com. It's a big weekend
ahead in the world of sports, and there is money
to be made.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Trust me.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
College football all day on Saturday, UFC Fight Night, Tennis,
got the Davis Cup, and of course the Big Goona
the NFL. NFL Sunday Sports bet with the best Get
the picks that win, Get the picks that win with
(06:42):
Captain picks dot Com.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Go to captainpicks dot com.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Get a one time daily all access plan for just
fifteen bucks with the promo code wrap r ap today. Okay,
captain picks dot com. It's a commune unity of winners
at Captain Picks. Go to captain picks dot com. Use
the promo code rap r a p R eight. You
(07:09):
can't even spell fucking rap without saying my name.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
God damn it. Anyway, another Nas album came out I
listened to it.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
I think it's called Magic three hit boy. This fucking
guy does not stop rapping. You gotta love it, you
gotta love it. Six albums, I believe. I listened to
it this morning during my workout. Had a nice workout,
pumped pumped up, real nice, pumped up, real proper.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
And I'm encouraging all you guys.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
When I say guys, I mean guys, girls, and everything
you identify is I don't care.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
Guys, girl, whatever you want, I don't care. But I
am encouraging you. If I can do it, you can
do it. I'll say it again. If I can do
it yet, you can do it. Okay.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
I worked out real nice and real hard this morning.
We did chest well. First, let me backtrack. We did
sit ups, okay, five minutes straight sit ups.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Get the little.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
Muscles, the big muscles, okay. Then we did chest all right,
We're doing all kinds of chest. We did ten chest exercises.
We did we got that chest, nice upper chest, lower chest.
Then we did the shoulders and then we did the tries.
We worked the tries. I'm feeling real good. Had a
(08:40):
little coffee. I'm hopped up.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Got a few more shows in Stanford. I am hopped up.
But if I can do it, you can do it.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
A lot of people said, Mike rep you haven't talked
about your iconic, world famous plank.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
Why talk about it if it's a part of my life.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Of course, I'm proud every single time I plank for
five minutes, and we did the straight fucking blank.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Like that shaking you plank, you shake like that.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
I'm shaking, I'm talking to myself, I'm farting, I'm snorting,
I'm having emotional breakdowns.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
But I stay in there with that plank five minutes.
If I can do it, you can do it.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
If I could plank for five minutes, you could plank
for five minutes. Because the things that I say to myself,
the horrible things that I say to myself, I wouldn't
accept from anybody. I don't care who it is.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
I call myself a lazy, miserable piece of shit.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
I want to quit, I want to stop, But when
I make my mind up to do that five minute plank,
can't stop, won't stop. Mamba mentality. I'm like Muhammad Ali.
I don't even start paying attention till I'm at like
three minutes and forty five seconds, because then we're gonna
(10:02):
head into the last minute. My record, of course, six minutes,
six minutes. I did a six minute I did a
six minute plank, and I'm saying it again. If I
can do it, you can do it. And you might
be saying a micro wrap.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
We need proof. Go to my fucking YouTube channel. You
need proof.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
You want to sit there and watch me plank for
five minutes, go ahead. I posted it up there for
the naysayers. Got a YouTube channel just like everybody else.
At Michael Rappaport.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
That's it. There's no tricks, no tricks in eighty six anyway.
I am Rappaport Stereo Podcast. We are we are in it.
We're in fantasy football season, We're in the NFL season.
Of course.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
The big, big, big, ginormous story is Aaron Rodgers. Aaron
Rodgers of the New York Jets, who melted the hearts
of New York Jets fans, melted the hearts of football
fans around the world with his big Lebowski like laid
(11:09):
back charm. Throughout preseason on HBO's Hard Knocks were showing
up to Knicks games, Rangers games looking like he's as
high as a kite as he should be. You know
how many dings and the elbows and thumbs. You think
(11:33):
you're sore. You think you're sore, Go play quarterback for
forty six years like Aaron Rodgers. Go play quarterback for
Ben Roethlisberger. You think Ben Roethlisberger doesn't wake up sore.
Joe Montana, Joe Montana's not even a big Ben. Rotha
was like a six foot four mountain of a man.
(11:54):
I can't imagine the elbows and the hips and the
knees and the ankles that professional quarterbacks wake up feeling,
whether they're retired, are currently playing. But Aaron Rodgers went
out of his way to ingratiate himself. He was happy
to be in New York, and New Yorkers have been
happy to have him. We discussed hard knocks. Like I said,
(12:15):
he was like the dude in the Big Lebowski smiling,
looking like he's just smoking.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
You know, he just would love to just smoke a
joint publicly. Can't do it.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
But even though you're not smoking a joint publicly, we
can tell you smoke those joints privately. And I say respect.
I say respect to all the NFL players, and what
a shame the third or fourth play, Aaron Rodgers went
down with a torn achilles.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
That sucks. That really sucks. And I'm not even a
Jets fan. But I'm not a Jets hater. I'm a
Giants fan. I'm a fantasy football fan.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
First there, I said it, football above everything else. It
has superseded my love for the New York Giants. Of course, historically,
I'm a New York Giants fan.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Going back to the the good old days.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
And then then the really good old days when LT
came and Bill Parcells, Phil Simms, Mark Buffo. Any Way,
the Super Bowl champions, Buffalo Bills buried.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Them wide right, white right, white right. Anyway, This is
not about me. This is about Aaron Rodgers. Aaron Rodgers,
I don't know if he's gonna be able to come back.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
Kobe Bryant came back after a tour in Achilles, but
Kobe Bryant wasn't.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
I don't know. I have no Aaron Rodgers. I think
he's thirty nine. It doesn't matter. If he decides to
come back, he'll come back, will he be the same,
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
I'm wishing him nothing but the best doctor Latroge Neil
Latroshe who did Kobe's achilles, who just did Aaron Rodgers achilles,
and he also did my I tore my uh meniscus.
I had my meniscus fixed by the Van Gong, the
(14:10):
Henry Matisse of sports surgeries, the same guy who beautifully
connected the the achilles of the late great Kobe Bryant
and many, many, many other athletes.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
He also did my my meniscus.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
When I tore my meniscus infamously in an MTV No
not MTV and an NBA All Star Game weekend.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
Game.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Tore my meniscus very sad, and I'm not even a
part of the NBA All Star Game Weekend anymore. Why
because I say something about you, Lebron James. I brought
my broom down here. You got yet, Lebron. I'm gonna
tell Maverick Carter, Maverick Carter's gonna go town. That's fine,
And I'm never gonna give your tickets to the NBA game.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
You can't say.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Anything about me. I'm Lebron James. We're gonna not make
it so you can't get any tickets anymore. Because you
showed up to a broom you got swept you fuck
of course I showed up with a broom you'll get
in and showed up with a fucking with a bleach.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
And a fucking sponges, paper towels.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
You got swimt showed up with a fucking broom. I'm
helping to clean things up. You should be thinking me, No,
you didn't want to thank me. I'm telling Maverick Carnal,
We're gonna tell which he can't have tickets anymore.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
Fuck you you hate the fans. I'm a fan. I'm
a fan. Lebron James took my fucking tickets away. Anyway.
It's neither here nor there, neither here nor there. What's
here nor there is? I hope somehow someway.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
After the Giants got the ship eating out of them
forty to nothing, and I'm gonna explain, I had to
sit on a.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
Flight in coach. And I know people are saying, Mike, crap,
what do you told me? I always fly coach. I'll
break that down in a second.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
I watched on a flight from Salt Lake City the
entire game the New York Giants versus the Dallas Cowboys,
and the Giants lost forty zip. You know what it's
like to have to sit there after your initial flight
is canceled and you're in coach and you bought yourself
(16:39):
a business seat, but the only way to make it
back home is to sit in the back of the
back of the plane.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Listen.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
I don't think I think coach should be illegal. Let
me stay focused. I think coach should be illegal, but
I'm gonna stay focused. Watching the Giants lose forty to
nothing to the Dallas Cowboys and not being able to
say anything about it, I was disgusted. I was disgusted.
(17:10):
I can't stand the fucking How about them boys? How
about them boys? Fuck the dad. Let me tell you something,
Dallas Cowboys. Mark this down, Mark this video down, thumb
nail it, save it. You ain't winning jack shit. You're
not winning a Super Bowl, and Jerry Jerry Jones with
(17:33):
the accent of a slave owner, You're not winning the
Super Bowl this year, Dak no disrespect. Great guy, Man
of the Year. This guy sounds like the type of
person that we should all strive to be. You're not
that guy, and I know you got a great defense.
I don't care. The Dallas Cowboys are not winning a
(17:54):
Super Bowl. You destroyed, dismantled my New York Giants while
I was sitting in coach.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
It was brutal.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
And now, somehow, some way, I am praying for an
upset because now the Aaron Rodger lists New York Jets
are facing the same Dallas Cowboys, and I'm hoping for
a miracle, a miracle on thirty fourth Street. Somehow, some way,
they beat the shit out of you guys. Can't stand
(18:27):
them Cowboys. And while that dismantling was happening, I was
thinking to myself, what is worse New York fans?
Speaker 1 (18:34):
Is it harder to accept? Is it harder to.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
Watch and deal with a loss of the New York
Giants to the Dallas Cowboys? Or is it harder to
watch and deal with a loss by the New York
Yankees or the New York Mets to the Boston Red Sox.
I have to say, and I don't, even though I
(19:02):
wear a Yankee hat all the time, I don't know
anything about baseball.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
I don't care anything about baseball.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
However, I do bet, I do bad, and I get
all my betting information captain picks dot com.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
And you can and you should too, But after I
was doing the math and.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
Putting all together, I realized watching the Red Sox beat
the New York Yankees or the New York Mets, respectfully,
is worse for me. But that being said, sitting in
coach and I'm gonna just pivot to that one more second.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
Watching that game was brutal.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
But the big discussion now is who should replace who
can we get to replace Aaron Rogers? And of course
the people that like to be rejected have been discussing, well,
we should give Colin Kaepernick a chance. Colin Kaepernick should
(20:01):
be the New York Jets quarterback at least have a chance.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
Do you like being told no? Listen? There was a
time in my life where I wouldn't get myself.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
Into situations with women when the relationship was over, and
because I am a child of divorce, the relationship was
over with the woman I was involved with, and I
wouldn't accept no for an answer. I just they're like, no,
we're moving on. No, I'm not fucking with you anymore. No,
you're an asshole, and I keep going it's dysfunctional because
(20:33):
you don't love yourself enough to just go, well, she
don't want to be with me.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
I'm gonna fuck it.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
I'm gonna take it on the high road. I processed
all that way better now, fifty three and married, been
through it all. But that's because I'm from divorce mommy issues.
But why would anyone bring up Colin Kaepernick as the
quarterback of the New York Jets in twenty twenty three.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
The man has not played football and seven.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Years, not arena football, not flag football, not two hand
touch football, no football in seven years, and you're still
bringing up the idea of I thought about it a
couple of years ago.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
That was what it was. Maybe he was two years,
three years.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Out of the league, seven fucking years. He hasn't played
Madden Techmobil nothing. We're not doing any experiments. We're not
doing social experiments. We're trying to get the New York
Jets back on track. Kaepernick is done with football.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
Listen. He did what he did. He got fucked, he
sued him, they settled, he got his money.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
You want to play football, Colin Kaepernick. You guys want
to see Colin Kaepernick play football. Sign him up in
Arena League football. We got a football in Canada. The
NFL is over. He hasn't played Judge football playing football.
I don't know if he's played.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Pickleball with football, but he ain't the quarterback for the
New York Jets. I'm going with Zack, and I'm going with.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
Zack this weekend, and I hope we beat the shit
out of the New York Cowboys. And I say that
as a New York Giants fan. We need our come ups.
We need our come ups and our come back because
that was a brutal beating that we took to the
Dallas Cowboys last week versus the New York Giants on
nine to ten the day before nine to eleven in Jersey,
(22:41):
the home of Bruce Springsteen, the home of Tony Soprano,
the home of Queen.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Latifah Redman, respectfully, brutal, brutal, brutal beating. We need our
come back and our come ups this weekend podcast.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
Anyway, So I said to you, guys, I was in
the Salt Lake City and I had to fly back coach,
And You're like, oh, Mike, well, you fucking whiny, complaining bitch.
We always have to fly Coach. I get it, and
I'm speaking on behalf of everybody in the world. I
was flying Delta and thank God for those Delta ages.
Here's my piece of advice. If you are on a
(23:37):
plane and they canceled the flight, do not hang out
by the gate. You are wasting your time. Do not
hang out by the gate. If you are on a
flight and they cancel it, not delayed, cancel the flight,
sprint Carl Lewis, Ben Johnson on steroids, Shakhari richardson it.
(24:06):
Right to the check in area of the airline that
canceled your flight. Go right there, because if you sit
around the gate, you're gonna get frustrated, and that's where
the incidents happen, and inevitably those people cannot help you.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
The flight attendants, the flight crew cannot help you. Go right.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
Upstairs or downstairs to where you checked in. Those are
the people that can help you. I did the right thing.
I was on a flight from Salt Lake City.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
To New York.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
Got it early after a great weekend of shows in
Salt Lake City. Shout out to everybody that came seeing
me performing.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
Salt Lake City.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
Told you I'll be in San Diego next weekend. Gave
you the whole schedule, tickets, all information available. Micha Rapport
company dot com. Nonetheless, I jetted. They said, your flight's canceled,
and my guy, Chucked D, was on my fight. I
was getting ready to chill with Chuck D. The entire
flight talk to Chuck D. But they canceled my flight.
(25:13):
I got right off that motherfucker went right with the downstairs.
I don't know who cares. I was so disoriented. Went
right to the ages. I said, Yo, when's the next
flight to New York. I'm hoping, praying, and there's another
flight to New York. They said, this flight at five fifteen,
you got the last seat. I said, I was smart
(25:36):
to come up there. They said, you were absolutely smart.
The checking people they told me I was smart telling
you don't fuck around at the gate. That's when you start.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
Arguing they're waiting for information. Go right to the check
in folks.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
Not saying that they're gonna have an apple there, but
you got a better chance of getting some real from them.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
Nonetheless, it was nine in the morning.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
They said the flights at five point fifteen. I said,
all right, fuck it, fuck it, five point fifteen, I'm
gonna take it. They said the only seat is a
window seat, and coach I said, no problem. Put me
on a fuck a window seat and coach as long
as I could get home that night. Now, Delta, the
flight attendants to me, they were nice. They recognized me.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
I'm a big star. They're happy to have me on.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
Little do they know I'm the most disruptive, frustrated, farting,
snorting motherfucker on the plane. But they're just happy to
have a big time celebrity on their plane and in
coach albeit.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
I mean I mean coach in a window seat in
the back of the back of the plane. I'm that asshole.
I'm like this. I got a lady.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
She was like a gang banger or something. She came
in like we were in prison. She took the whole Oh,
she put her elbow like we were dating, we were
in a relationship. She put her elbow like it was
like in my lap.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
She was in the middle seat.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
And then there's another asshole on the aisle, and I'm
just like, I'm just happy to be going home. So
I'm in no position to complain now. Fortunately I brought
myself a big bottle of water.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
On that plane.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
But the flight attendants who couldn't be bit nicer to me.
These people, listen, guys, I know you guys. Everybody's working hard.
You're working hard. I'm working hard. We're on strike the automobile.
Everybody's just trying to make a dollar a half fifteen cents.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
I get it.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
But you got to brighten up your attitudes. Flight attendants,
you have to try to brighten up your attitudes. I
say that also thinking and considering the people that they
must deal with on a daily basis. You're dealing with
complete strangers who are frustrated everybody. No one flying, even
(28:01):
if you're in first class. No one flying is excited
to be on the plane. No one flying is excited
to deal with the traffic, the check in the TSA,
they're going through the bags, they're taking the they took
my my toothpaste, no one. No one is happy. So
I know the flight attendants. They're not happy. They're miserable.
(28:23):
They're dealing with assholes like myself. I put my myself
in the in the list of assholes that flight attendants
have to deal with, I put myself in the top
of the list. I'm one of the biggest assholes you
could possibly find on a plane. Vise file put that
fucking I put that fucking happy face on, but I
think it is it is subhuman to pay money to
(28:47):
sit in a middle seat on a plane when you're
going four plus hours. To pay money to sit in
a middle seat, I don't care if it's Star Airline,
Spirit Airlines, Rocket Airlines, United Airlines, American Airlines, Eastern Airlines,
Jet Blue, whatever the fun.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
And you guys are not giving out water within the
first half.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
Hour I'm on this plane. Thank god I brought myself
a big water. If I hadn't brought myself a big water,
I would have really went I would have been one
of those people you found because I was tempted to
go nuts. And the only thing that kept me from
going crazy going nuts on that plane was like, they're
gonna put you on Instagram. They're gonna put you on
(29:34):
Insto and be like, look at Michael Rappaport freaking the
fuck out because he didn't get some cookies.
Speaker 1 (29:43):
And some water on the plane. I was thinking about it.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
I finished my big water and I was like, and
I'm realizing they haven't given out water.
Speaker 1 (29:52):
Front.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
It's an hour and forty five minutes. My mouth is
fucking dry. The lady sitting next to me, she got
her elbow. I'm telling you we were like dating. We
were that close to woman. And this was not some
beauty pageant winner. No disrespect, I'm not saying I'm winning
any mister America pageants myself, but she must be accustomed
(30:16):
to sitting in that middle seat.
Speaker 1 (30:19):
She was just like all over me.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
Not literally, but she was just like word again, and
I was like, fuck it, Well, I'm gonna you know,
we're gonna rub knees and elbows, and you know, I'm
smelling her shampoo, and I hope I smell good for her.
From that trip from Salt Lake City, Utah, to New York,
we were in a relationship. I don't know her name,
I don't know where she's from. But when you're sitting
(30:42):
in that close proximity to a woman or a man,
whatever you're into, that's an intimate relationship. We shared intimate
space only on a fucking plane.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
Do you do that for four plus hours? I know,
first world problems. I say, That's why I say the miles.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
On the with the with the flying either I'm gonna
paint to be in business and or first class. I'm
gonna use those miles to be in business and or
first class. But I'm gonna do every single thing I
can possibly do to avoid being in coach, and I'm
grateful that I'm able to make that work for myself.
(31:27):
Podcast that little ship, that cold blooded You know, there's
people that root for somebody that escapes channel that Danilo,
(31:48):
whatever the fuck his name is, Carndo, that piece of
ship who killed his girlfriend in front of her kids.
People are cheering for that escape killer. They found them
in a bush somewhere. Motherfucker. The doggy paddled out of
the head of jail. Can you believe that a little short,
five foot two doggie paddled himself out of jail. People
(32:10):
are cheering for this. He killed his girlfriend in front
of her kids.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
This is sick animal. You're glad he escaped prison.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
You're rooting for him, and people are upset because the
cops that caught him took a picture.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
I would too.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
It took eleven days. That's an accomplishment. This motherfucker was
like Rambo out there. He was like a little five
foot two Rambo in the weeds, in the bushes, living
off of stream water and watermelon.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
It' took eleven days to catch this little prick.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
Of course, the police are gonna take pictures like, look
we got this little motherfucker. Look at them, Look at
this little fuck here we caught him. If people are
gonna take pictures when they go big game hunting, I
would be proud of myself too. Him a coper a fed.
(33:12):
This is no crafty fuck. He doggy paddled himself right
out of jail. We caught Look, look, mom, we did it.
I got no problem with the police taking pictures of
that little motherfucker. Of course they should be embarrassed. It
took that long to catch this cocksucker. Wasn't easy to catch.
This little motherfucker was hard to catch. But he's a
(33:34):
no good little piece of shit who killed his girlfriend
in front.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
Of her kids.
Speaker 2 (33:40):
And what do you do with somebody like that? They go, well,
he's gonna be an eighty max. I guess there's a
prison called eighty max for the rest of his life.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
Why keep him alive?
Speaker 2 (33:50):
Why keep a piece of shit like that alive, who
killed his girlfriend in front of her kids? Escape prison?
This is this is a take him down like a
six dog. You know you got a dog, you got
a horse.
Speaker 1 (34:05):
An animal? You take him down.
Speaker 2 (34:08):
There's there's nothing that asked this little fucker how he escaped,
how he survived out there on some rambo one, rambo two,
rambo three shit, Get all the information you can from
this little funk, and then take him down.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
Like a sick animals a sick animal. The world doesn't
need people like that. Sorry, that's just my opinion.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
What can we learn from Well, well, we obviously can
learn something from him, because this motherfucker survived eleven days
out there with stream water and watermelon.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
Anyway, they got that little funk. They also.
Speaker 2 (34:47):
They indicted some indictment season whoa September is indictment season.
They indicted Hunter Biden, Hunter Biden, They got him. They
indicted Hunter Biden on gun charges. Allegedly, Hunter Biden, who
allegedly is a crackhead, he didn't tell the truth when
(35:12):
he was filing the paperwork, when he was filling out
the paperwork to get a gun. He didn't tell the
truth and tell the gun people who was trying to
get his gun license that he was on crack. Allegedly,
this is all allegedly, ain't gonna you, ain't gonna get
me busted. What kind of crackhead is gonna tell you
(35:34):
throrew on crack when they're getting a gun. Of course,
of course he's not gonna say, oh, I'm on crack.
I'm he's trying to get a gun, trying to get
a pissedolely a biscuit, trying to get that hammer.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
Why would he tell you he's on crack. That's not
a good crackhead.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
Hunter Biden seems like he's a fantastic crackhead, now, is he?
Speaker 1 (35:59):
Is he Lawrence Taylor level of crackhead? No? Absolutely not,
absolutely not.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
But obviously the crack hadn't taken him over so much
that he was stupid enough to admit to being on
crack while he was trying to get a gun a pistol.
But this is what crackheads do. I've said it once,
I've said it a zillion times. If in fact, Hunter
Biden was on crack, as they say he was, allegedly,
(36:29):
crackhead's gonna do with crackheads gonna do crackhead's gonna crack head.
Crackheads are gonna take a computer to a repair shop
and never return it. Crackheads are gonna take a computer
to a repair shop and never come and get it.
Speaker 1 (36:47):
That's what crackheads.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
Do they forget they even had a computer, let alone,
they dropped it off at a repair shop.
Speaker 1 (36:53):
He's on crack, you know, crack.
Speaker 2 (36:56):
It takes your body, mind and spirit over sends you
off to a place and an unimaginable place. And Hunter
Biden was that dude. So they indicted him, so w.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
So what.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
Hey, Hey, my fucking son not gone fucking wood. It's
president's son the indicting them. However, however, it's still four
to one.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
It is four to one.
Speaker 2 (37:25):
Pig Dick Donald Trump himself has four indictments and Hunter
Biden and the Biden family have one indictment. Now, if
this was a football game, if this was the Yankees
versus the Dodgers, if this was let's say, the Yankees
versus the.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
Red Sox, the Yankees would still be down four.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
To one because pig Dick Donald Trump has four, four
fucking indictments, and pig Dick Donald Trump was the president,
and pig Dick Donald Trump is running to be president
once again, to reign supreme as president once again. Hunter
Biden's the president's son. Now, I'm not going to sit
(38:10):
here and tell you that Hunter Biden should be buying
guns while he's on crack. And I'm not going to
sit here and tell you cadaver Joe Biden makes me happy.
When I see cadaver Joe Biden, I get nervous. You
ever see an old man walking down the street like
you want to help them, That's what I feel like
when I see cadaver Joe Biden smoking Joe Biden. He
(38:35):
makes me uncomfortable, nor I want to help him. I
want to say, go go rest the motherfucker. Go make
sure you have a clean mandyp braun and go watch
Go watch your stories, Go watch some ESPN, go watch
them General Hospital, History Channel, whatever the funk you're into.
And I don't think this guy should be running the country,
(38:56):
but I'll take him over pig dick Donald Trump any day,
because pig dick Donald Trump is a.
Speaker 1 (39:03):
No good two bit money scamming, lone life, cheap.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
Double talking and taggonistic golf cheating, election sore, losing, riot
causing twice, two times twice impeached, four time indicted, three
card monty playing, slick dick, gropey, pussy grabbing, no good
(39:36):
pile of shit. So yeah, yeah, Cadaver Jones all ding dump,
but I'll take him over that pussy grabbing fat fuck
riot causing four time and dieted motherfucker any day.
Speaker 1 (39:52):
I am done. I'm done Game sore and.
Speaker 2 (39:55):
I disrupted Game saw and I did Diggity disrupted. I
Am Rapaport Stereo Podcast. Tell a friend to tell a
friend about the world's most disruptive.
Speaker 1 (40:06):
Podcast, the worldwide phenomenon.
Speaker 2 (40:10):
Available all over the place New Zealand, Australia, Spain, Italy, Poland. Okay,
we got fans in Switzerland, Sweden. Okay, we got fans
in France, South.
Speaker 1 (40:25):
America, North America.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
And parts unknown. See I Am Rapaport Stereo podcast. Miles
Jeordane ak The Bleach Brothers aka the Dunst Brothers. Take
me out of here with something real nice, Take me
out of it with something We're loud, but most importantly
in this gorgeous iron Rappaport Stereo podcast, with something real
funking out
Yes, Brandon Banging Iron Rapport Stereo podcast is here.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Heygetdy, Have no fear on today's banging I Am Rappaport
Stereo podcast. What should what could the New York Jets
do now that the big Lebowski Aaron Rodgers has went down?
Should they bring in Colin Kaepernick? People are saying bring
Colin Kaepernick in despite the fact that he has not
(00:33):
played professional football in seven years. Plus horror story. I
had a horror story on my flight.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
From Salt Lake City back to New York and Hunter
Biden is indicted.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
All that more onny brand new Banging fully Disruptive Iron
Rapports Stereo podcast coming up right now, Myles Jordanike the
Bleach Bud is aka the Dignity.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Does Bud start this.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Puppy off tough, real nicees nott this puppy off tough
reelund guests, But most important start ar't this puppy off
with something real?
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Bunk its Iron Rapperport stereo punks, Let's fucking go.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
All right, have no fear of the Iron Rappaport stereo
podcasts here, heyg they have no fear. The I M
Rappaport Stereo podcast is here. Welcome to the Iron Dome
of Disruption. Welcome to the Signey Zone, the Cicgey Zone,
the Cigay Zone of Disruption. Name is Michael Rappaport aka
(01:43):
the Inflamed ash Gnazi a k a. The Sultan of
Sniff a k a. The Gringo man Dingo a k a.
The Raging Bullshitter aka Mister New York a k a.
The Disruptive Warrior. Hope everybody's feeling good. Hope everybody's feeling safe.
(02:05):
Hope everybody is feeling sane. And I welcome you to
the Iron Dome of Disruption. And I welcome you to
the Sigity Zone of Disruption. Iron rap Port Stereo podcast.
Tell a friend to tell a friend to join you
and listen. Get of listening parties. Friends should listen together
(02:30):
all across the world, speaking of the world, giving shout
out to the to the Rapa Pack here in the
United States, across all the beautiful, beautiful states of the
United States of America. Shout out to the Rapa Pack
in South America, Brazil. Shout out to the Rapa Pack
(02:52):
in Tel Aviv, Israel, New Zealand, Switzerland, France. Mister New
York of course out there holding us down with the.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
Gorgeous art work.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Oh, you should all follow check out the artwork of
mister new York. He spells it misteer mister new York
from Patti. Shout out to everybody in Russia, Spain, Italian
and places unknown.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
And I have not mentioned on today's I am Rappaport
stereo podcasts.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Feeling real good, feeling real safe, feeling real sane, working,
fortunate to be working because the writers and the actors
are on strike and it sucks big fat elephant dick.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
But I am on tour.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
I will be in San Diego back at the American
Comedy Connection the twenty first, twenty second, and the twenty
third and the twenty fourth. I'm gonna be down there
in San Diego for four days, twenty first, twenty second,
twenty third and the twenty fourth. One show on the
twenty first, two shows on the twenty second, two shows
(04:09):
on the twenty third, and one nightcap on Sunday, September
twenty fourth, and then I'm gonna be in Pittsburgh. I
cannot wait to be in Pittsburgh at City Winery the
twenty ninth and the thirtieth of September. You know, I
love my Pittsburgh Steelers from the olden days with the
(04:34):
Rocky Blier, Frank O'harris Jack, Lambert Jack Ham else Greenwood
mean Joe Green Pittsburgh Steelers. Then I'm gonna be in Atlanta,
Hot Atlanta October sixth and seventh City Winery, and then
I'm gonna be back in Chicago. I cannot wait to
perform in Chicago also September. I'm sorry October twentieth twenty first,
(05:00):
the twentieth twenty first, uh and those are my shows
for the next couple of weeks in September and October.
All tickets, all information is available at Michael Rapportcomedy dot com.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Like I said, we have.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
San Diego, then we have Pittsburgh, then we have Atlanta,
then we have Chicago. All tickets, all information, all things
you need to know to come see me live are
available at Michael Rappaportcomedy dot com. And if you listen
(05:36):
to the Iron Rapp Report stereo podcast, all you need
to do is say dingo. You could DM me ninety
nine point nine percent of the time. If you listen
to the Iron Rapport stereo podcast, you say dingo, you
say disruptive warrior, You'll see the proof is in the pudding.
Matter of fact, I'm gonna go out of my way
(05:59):
the next couple of shows in the next couple of
cities to make sure that I meet and greet specifically,
I am Rapaport Stereo podcast listeners. All take its own
information available Michael Rapaportcomedy dot com. It's a big weekend
ahead in the world of sports, and there is money
to be made.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Trust me.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
College football all day on Saturday, UFC Fight Night, Tennis,
got the Davis Cup, and of course the Big Goona
the NFL. NFL Sunday Sports bet with the best Get
the picks that win, Get the picks that win with
(06:42):
Captain picks dot Com.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Go to captainpicks dot com.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Get a one time daily all access plan for just
fifteen bucks with the promo code wrap r ap today. Okay,
captain picks dot com. It's a commune unity of winners
at Captain Picks. Go to captain picks dot com. Use
the promo code rap r a p R eight. You
(07:09):
can't even spell fucking rap without saying my name.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
God damn it. Anyway, another Nas album came out I
listened to it.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
I think it's called Magic three hit boy. This fucking
guy does not stop rapping. You gotta love it, you
gotta love it. Six albums, I believe. I listened to
it this morning during my workout. Had a nice workout,
pumped pumped up, real nice, pumped up, real proper.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
And I'm encouraging all you guys.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
When I say guys, I mean guys, girls, and everything
you identify is I don't care.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
Guys, girl, whatever you want, I don't care. But I
am encouraging you. If I can do it, you can
do it. I'll say it again. If I can do
it yet, you can do it. Okay.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
I worked out real nice and real hard this morning.
We did chest well. First, let me backtrack. We did
sit ups, okay, five minutes straight sit ups.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Get the little.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
Muscles, the big muscles, okay. Then we did chest all right,
We're doing all kinds of chest. We did ten chest exercises.
We did we got that chest, nice upper chest, lower chest.
Then we did the shoulders and then we did the tries.
We worked the tries. I'm feeling real good. Had a
(08:40):
little coffee. I'm hopped up.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Got a few more shows in Stanford. I am hopped up.
But if I can do it, you can do it.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
A lot of people said, Mike rep you haven't talked
about your iconic, world famous plank.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
Why talk about it if it's a part of my life.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Of course, I'm proud every single time I plank for
five minutes, and we did the straight fucking blank.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Like that shaking you plank, you shake like that.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
I'm shaking, I'm talking to myself, I'm farting, I'm snorting,
I'm having emotional breakdowns.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
But I stay in there with that plank five minutes.
If I can do it, you can do it.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
If I could plank for five minutes, you could plank
for five minutes. Because the things that I say to myself,
the horrible things that I say to myself, I wouldn't
accept from anybody. I don't care who it is.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
I call myself a lazy, miserable piece of shit.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
I want to quit, I want to stop, But when
I make my mind up to do that five minute plank,
can't stop, won't stop. Mamba mentality. I'm like Muhammad Ali.
I don't even start paying attention till I'm at like
three minutes and forty five seconds, because then we're gonna
(10:02):
head into the last minute. My record, of course, six minutes,
six minutes. I did a six minute I did a
six minute plank, and I'm saying it again. If I
can do it, you can do it. And you might
be saying a micro wrap.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
We need proof. Go to my fucking YouTube channel. You
need proof.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
You want to sit there and watch me plank for
five minutes, go ahead. I posted it up there for
the naysayers. Got a YouTube channel just like everybody else.
At Michael Rappaport.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
That's it. There's no tricks, no tricks in eighty six anyway.
I am Rappaport Stereo Podcast. We are we are in it.
We're in fantasy football season, We're in the NFL season.
Of course.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
The big, big, big, ginormous story is Aaron Rodgers. Aaron
Rodgers of the New York Jets, who melted the hearts
of New York Jets fans, melted the hearts of football
fans around the world with his big Lebowski like laid
(11:09):
back charm. Throughout preseason on HBO's Hard Knocks were showing
up to Knicks games, Rangers games looking like he's as
high as a kite as he should be. You know
how many dings and the elbows and thumbs. You think
(11:33):
you're sore. You think you're sore, Go play quarterback for
forty six years like Aaron Rodgers. Go play quarterback for
Ben Roethlisberger. You think Ben Roethlisberger doesn't wake up sore.
Joe Montana, Joe Montana's not even a big Ben. Rotha
was like a six foot four mountain of a man.
(11:54):
I can't imagine the elbows and the hips and the
knees and the ankles that professional quarterbacks wake up feeling,
whether they're retired, are currently playing. But Aaron Rodgers went
out of his way to ingratiate himself. He was happy
to be in New York, and New Yorkers have been
happy to have him. We discussed hard knocks. Like I said,
(12:15):
he was like the dude in the Big Lebowski smiling,
looking like he's just smoking.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
You know, he just would love to just smoke a
joint publicly. Can't do it.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
But even though you're not smoking a joint publicly, we
can tell you smoke those joints privately. And I say respect.
I say respect to all the NFL players, and what
a shame the third or fourth play, Aaron Rodgers went
down with a torn achilles.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
That sucks. That really sucks. And I'm not even a
Jets fan. But I'm not a Jets hater. I'm a
Giants fan. I'm a fantasy football fan.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
First there, I said it, football above everything else. It
has superseded my love for the New York Giants. Of course, historically,
I'm a New York Giants fan.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Going back to the the good old days.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
And then then the really good old days when LT
came and Bill Parcells, Phil Simms, Mark Buffo. Any Way,
the Super Bowl champions, Buffalo Bills buried.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Them wide right, white right, white right. Anyway, This is
not about me. This is about Aaron Rodgers. Aaron Rodgers,
I don't know if he's gonna be able to come back.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
Kobe Bryant came back after a tour in Achilles, but
Kobe Bryant wasn't.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
I don't know. I have no Aaron Rodgers. I think
he's thirty nine. It doesn't matter. If he decides to
come back, he'll come back, will he be the same,
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
I'm wishing him nothing but the best doctor Latroge Neil
Latroshe who did Kobe's achilles, who just did Aaron Rodgers achilles,
and he also did my I tore my uh meniscus.
I had my meniscus fixed by the Van Gong, the
(14:10):
Henry Matisse of sports surgeries, the same guy who beautifully
connected the the achilles of the late great Kobe Bryant
and many, many, many other athletes.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
He also did my my meniscus.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
When I tore my meniscus infamously in an MTV No
not MTV and an NBA All Star Game weekend.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
Game.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Tore my meniscus very sad, and I'm not even a
part of the NBA All Star Game Weekend anymore. Why
because I say something about you, Lebron James. I brought
my broom down here. You got yet, Lebron. I'm gonna
tell Maverick Carter, Maverick Carter's gonna go town. That's fine,
And I'm never gonna give your tickets to the NBA game.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
You can't say.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Anything about me. I'm Lebron James. We're gonna not make
it so you can't get any tickets anymore. Because you
showed up to a broom you got swept you fuck
of course I showed up with a broom you'll get
in and showed up with a fucking with a bleach.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
And a fucking sponges, paper towels.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
You got swimt showed up with a fucking broom. I'm
helping to clean things up. You should be thinking me, No,
you didn't want to thank me. I'm telling Maverick Carnal,
We're gonna tell which he can't have tickets anymore.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
Fuck you you hate the fans. I'm a fan. I'm
a fan. Lebron James took my fucking tickets away. Anyway.
It's neither here nor there, neither here nor there. What's
here nor there is? I hope somehow someway.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
After the Giants got the ship eating out of them
forty to nothing, and I'm gonna explain, I had to
sit on a.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
Flight in coach. And I know people are saying, Mike, crap,
what do you told me? I always fly coach. I'll
break that down in a second.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
I watched on a flight from Salt Lake City the
entire game the New York Giants versus the Dallas Cowboys,
and the Giants lost forty zip. You know what it's
like to have to sit there after your initial flight
is canceled and you're in coach and you bought yourself
(16:39):
a business seat, but the only way to make it
back home is to sit in the back of the
back of the plane.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Listen.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
I don't think I think coach should be illegal. Let
me stay focused. I think coach should be illegal, but
I'm gonna stay focused. Watching the Giants lose forty to
nothing to the Dallas Cowboys and not being able to
say anything about it, I was disgusted. I was disgusted.
(17:10):
I can't stand the fucking How about them boys? How
about them boys? Fuck the dad. Let me tell you something,
Dallas Cowboys. Mark this down, Mark this video down, thumb
nail it, save it. You ain't winning jack shit. You're
not winning a Super Bowl, and Jerry Jerry Jones with
(17:33):
the accent of a slave owner, You're not winning the
Super Bowl this year, Dak no disrespect. Great guy, Man
of the Year. This guy sounds like the type of
person that we should all strive to be. You're not
that guy, and I know you got a great defense.
I don't care. The Dallas Cowboys are not winning a
(17:54):
Super Bowl. You destroyed, dismantled my New York Giants while
I was sitting in coach.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
It was brutal.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
And now, somehow, some way, I am praying for an
upset because now the Aaron Rodger lists New York Jets
are facing the same Dallas Cowboys, and I'm hoping for
a miracle, a miracle on thirty fourth Street. Somehow, some way,
they beat the shit out of you guys. Can't stand
(18:27):
them Cowboys. And while that dismantling was happening, I was
thinking to myself, what is worse New York fans?
Speaker 1 (18:34):
Is it harder to accept? Is it harder to.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
Watch and deal with a loss of the New York
Giants to the Dallas Cowboys? Or is it harder to
watch and deal with a loss by the New York
Yankees or the New York Mets to the Boston Red Sox.
I have to say, and I don't, even though I
(19:02):
wear a Yankee hat all the time, I don't know
anything about baseball.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
I don't care anything about baseball.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
However, I do bet, I do bad, and I get
all my betting information captain picks dot com.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
And you can and you should too, But after I
was doing the math and.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
Putting all together, I realized watching the Red Sox beat
the New York Yankees or the New York Mets, respectfully,
is worse for me. But that being said, sitting in
coach and I'm gonna just pivot to that one more second.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
Watching that game was brutal.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
But the big discussion now is who should replace who
can we get to replace Aaron Rogers? And of course
the people that like to be rejected have been discussing, well,
we should give Colin Kaepernick a chance. Colin Kaepernick should
(20:01):
be the New York Jets quarterback at least have a chance.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
Do you like being told no? Listen? There was a
time in my life where I wouldn't get myself.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
Into situations with women when the relationship was over, and
because I am a child of divorce, the relationship was
over with the woman I was involved with, and I
wouldn't accept no for an answer. I just they're like, no,
we're moving on. No, I'm not fucking with you anymore. No,
you're an asshole, and I keep going it's dysfunctional because
(20:33):
you don't love yourself enough to just go, well, she
don't want to be with me.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
I'm gonna fuck it.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
I'm gonna take it on the high road. I processed
all that way better now, fifty three and married, been
through it all. But that's because I'm from divorce mommy issues.
But why would anyone bring up Colin Kaepernick as the
quarterback of the New York Jets in twenty twenty three.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
The man has not played football and seven.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Years, not arena football, not flag football, not two hand
touch football, no football in seven years, and you're still
bringing up the idea of I thought about it a
couple of years ago.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
That was what it was. Maybe he was two years,
three years.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Out of the league, seven fucking years. He hasn't played
Madden Techmobil nothing. We're not doing any experiments. We're not
doing social experiments. We're trying to get the New York
Jets back on track. Kaepernick is done with football.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
Listen. He did what he did. He got fucked, he
sued him, they settled, he got his money.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
You want to play football, Colin Kaepernick. You guys want
to see Colin Kaepernick play football. Sign him up in
Arena League football. We got a football in Canada. The
NFL is over. He hasn't played Judge football playing football.
I don't know if he's played.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Pickleball with football, but he ain't the quarterback for the
New York Jets. I'm going with Zack, and I'm going with.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
Zack this weekend, and I hope we beat the shit
out of the New York Cowboys. And I say that
as a New York Giants fan. We need our come ups.
We need our come ups and our come back because
that was a brutal beating that we took to the
Dallas Cowboys last week versus the New York Giants on
nine to ten the day before nine to eleven in Jersey,
(22:41):
the home of Bruce Springsteen, the home of Tony Soprano,
the home of Queen.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Latifah Redman, respectfully, brutal, brutal, brutal beating. We need our
come back and our come ups this weekend podcast.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
Anyway, So I said to you, guys, I was in
the Salt Lake City and I had to fly back coach,
And You're like, oh, Mike, well, you fucking whiny, complaining bitch.
We always have to fly Coach. I get it, and
I'm speaking on behalf of everybody in the world. I
was flying Delta and thank God for those Delta ages.
Here's my piece of advice. If you are on a
(23:37):
plane and they canceled the flight, do not hang out
by the gate. You are wasting your time. Do not
hang out by the gate. If you are on a
flight and they cancel it, not delayed, cancel the flight,
sprint Carl Lewis, Ben Johnson on steroids, Shakhari richardson it.
(24:06):
Right to the check in area of the airline that
canceled your flight. Go right there, because if you sit
around the gate, you're gonna get frustrated, and that's where
the incidents happen, and inevitably those people cannot help you.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
The flight attendants, the flight crew cannot help you. Go right.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
Upstairs or downstairs to where you checked in. Those are
the people that can help you. I did the right thing.
I was on a flight from Salt Lake City.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
To New York.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
Got it early after a great weekend of shows in
Salt Lake City. Shout out to everybody that came seeing
me performing.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
Salt Lake City.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
Told you I'll be in San Diego next weekend. Gave
you the whole schedule, tickets, all information available. Micha Rapport
company dot com. Nonetheless, I jetted. They said, your flight's canceled,
and my guy, Chucked D, was on my fight. I
was getting ready to chill with Chuck D. The entire
flight talk to Chuck D. But they canceled my flight.
(25:13):
I got right off that motherfucker went right with the downstairs.
I don't know who cares. I was so disoriented. Went
right to the ages. I said, Yo, when's the next
flight to New York. I'm hoping, praying, and there's another
flight to New York. They said, this flight at five fifteen,
you got the last seat. I said, I was smart
(25:36):
to come up there. They said, you were absolutely smart.
The checking people they told me I was smart telling
you don't fuck around at the gate. That's when you start.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
Arguing they're waiting for information. Go right to the check
in folks.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
Not saying that they're gonna have an apple there, but
you got a better chance of getting some real from them.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
Nonetheless, it was nine in the morning.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
They said the flights at five point fifteen. I said,
all right, fuck it, fuck it, five point fifteen, I'm
gonna take it. They said the only seat is a
window seat, and coach I said, no problem. Put me
on a fuck a window seat and coach as long
as I could get home that night. Now, Delta, the
flight attendants to me, they were nice. They recognized me.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
I'm a big star. They're happy to have me on.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
Little do they know I'm the most disruptive, frustrated, farting,
snorting motherfucker on the plane. But they're just happy to
have a big time celebrity on their plane and in
coach albeit.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
I mean I mean coach in a window seat in
the back of the back of the plane. I'm that asshole.
I'm like this. I got a lady.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
She was like a gang banger or something. She came
in like we were in prison. She took the whole Oh,
she put her elbow like we were dating, we were
in a relationship. She put her elbow like it was
like in my lap.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
She was in the middle seat.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
And then there's another asshole on the aisle, and I'm
just like, I'm just happy to be going home. So
I'm in no position to complain now. Fortunately I brought
myself a big bottle of water.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
On that plane.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
But the flight attendants who couldn't be bit nicer to me.
These people, listen, guys, I know you guys. Everybody's working hard.
You're working hard. I'm working hard. We're on strike the automobile.
Everybody's just trying to make a dollar a half fifteen cents.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
I get it.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
But you got to brighten up your attitudes. Flight attendants,
you have to try to brighten up your attitudes. I
say that also thinking and considering the people that they
must deal with on a daily basis. You're dealing with
complete strangers who are frustrated everybody. No one flying, even
(28:01):
if you're in first class. No one flying is excited
to be on the plane. No one flying is excited
to deal with the traffic, the check in the TSA,
they're going through the bags, they're taking the they took
my my toothpaste, no one. No one is happy. So
I know the flight attendants. They're not happy. They're miserable.
(28:23):
They're dealing with assholes like myself. I put my myself
in the in the list of assholes that flight attendants
have to deal with, I put myself in the top
of the list. I'm one of the biggest assholes you
could possibly find on a plane. Vise file put that
fucking I put that fucking happy face on, but I
think it is it is subhuman to pay money to
(28:47):
sit in a middle seat on a plane when you're
going four plus hours. To pay money to sit in
a middle seat, I don't care if it's Star Airline,
Spirit Airlines, Rocket Airlines, United Airlines, American Airlines, Eastern Airlines,
Jet Blue, whatever the fun.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
And you guys are not giving out water within the
first half.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
Hour I'm on this plane. Thank god I brought myself
a big water. If I hadn't brought myself a big water,
I would have really went I would have been one
of those people you found because I was tempted to
go nuts. And the only thing that kept me from
going crazy going nuts on that plane was like, they're
gonna put you on Instagram. They're gonna put you on
(29:34):
Insto and be like, look at Michael Rappaport freaking the
fuck out because he didn't get some cookies.
Speaker 1 (29:43):
And some water on the plane. I was thinking about it.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
I finished my big water and I was like, and
I'm realizing they haven't given out water.
Speaker 1 (29:52):
Front.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
It's an hour and forty five minutes. My mouth is
fucking dry. The lady sitting next to me, she got
her elbow. I'm telling you we were like dating. We
were that close to woman. And this was not some
beauty pageant winner. No disrespect, I'm not saying I'm winning
any mister America pageants myself, but she must be accustomed
(30:16):
to sitting in that middle seat.
Speaker 1 (30:19):
She was just like all over me.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
Not literally, but she was just like word again, and
I was like, fuck it, Well, I'm gonna you know,
we're gonna rub knees and elbows, and you know, I'm
smelling her shampoo, and I hope I smell good for her.
From that trip from Salt Lake City, Utah, to New York,
we were in a relationship. I don't know her name,
I don't know where she's from. But when you're sitting
(30:42):
in that close proximity to a woman or a man,
whatever you're into, that's an intimate relationship. We shared intimate
space only on a fucking plane.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
Do you do that for four plus hours? I know,
first world problems. I say, That's why I say the miles.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
On the with the with the flying either I'm gonna
paint to be in business and or first class. I'm
gonna use those miles to be in business and or
first class. But I'm gonna do every single thing I
can possibly do to avoid being in coach, and I'm
grateful that I'm able to make that work for myself.
(31:27):
Podcast that little ship, that cold blooded You know, there's
people that root for somebody that escapes channel that Danilo,
(31:48):
whatever the fuck his name is, Carndo, that piece of
ship who killed his girlfriend in front of her kids.
People are cheering for that escape killer. They found them
in a bush somewhere. Motherfucker. The doggy paddled out of
the head of jail. Can you believe that a little short,
five foot two doggie paddled himself out of jail. People
(32:10):
are cheering for this. He killed his girlfriend in front
of her kids.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
This is sick animal. You're glad he escaped prison.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
You're rooting for him, and people are upset because the
cops that caught him took a picture.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
I would too.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
It took eleven days. That's an accomplishment. This motherfucker was
like Rambo out there. He was like a little five
foot two Rambo in the weeds, in the bushes, living
off of stream water and watermelon.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
It' took eleven days to catch this little prick.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
Of course, the police are gonna take pictures like, look
we got this little motherfucker. Look at them, Look at
this little fuck here we caught him. If people are
gonna take pictures when they go big game hunting, I
would be proud of myself too. Him a coper a fed.
(33:12):
This is no crafty fuck. He doggy paddled himself right
out of jail. We caught Look, look, mom, we did it.
I got no problem with the police taking pictures of
that little motherfucker. Of course they should be embarrassed. It
took that long to catch this cocksucker. Wasn't easy to catch.
This little motherfucker was hard to catch. But he's a
(33:34):
no good little piece of shit who killed his girlfriend
in front.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
Of her kids.
Speaker 2 (33:40):
And what do you do with somebody like that? They go, well,
he's gonna be an eighty max. I guess there's a
prison called eighty max for the rest of his life.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
Why keep him alive?
Speaker 2 (33:50):
Why keep a piece of shit like that alive, who
killed his girlfriend in front of her kids? Escape prison?
This is this is a take him down like a
six dog. You know you got a dog, you got
a horse.
Speaker 1 (34:05):
An animal? You take him down.
Speaker 2 (34:08):
There's there's nothing that asked this little fucker how he escaped,
how he survived out there on some rambo one, rambo two,
rambo three shit, Get all the information you can from
this little funk, and then take him down.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
Like a sick animals a sick animal. The world doesn't
need people like that. Sorry, that's just my opinion.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
What can we learn from Well, well, we obviously can
learn something from him, because this motherfucker survived eleven days
out there with stream water and watermelon.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
Anyway, they got that little funk. They also.
Speaker 2 (34:47):
They indicted some indictment season whoa September is indictment season.
They indicted Hunter Biden, Hunter Biden, They got him. They
indicted Hunter Biden on gun charges. Allegedly, Hunter Biden, who
allegedly is a crackhead, he didn't tell the truth when
(35:12):
he was filing the paperwork, when he was filling out
the paperwork to get a gun. He didn't tell the
truth and tell the gun people who was trying to
get his gun license that he was on crack. Allegedly,
this is all allegedly, ain't gonna you, ain't gonna get
me busted. What kind of crackhead is gonna tell you
(35:34):
throrew on crack when they're getting a gun. Of course,
of course he's not gonna say, oh, I'm on crack.
I'm he's trying to get a gun, trying to get
a pissedolely a biscuit, trying to get that hammer.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
Why would he tell you he's on crack. That's not
a good crackhead.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
Hunter Biden seems like he's a fantastic crackhead, now, is he?
Speaker 1 (35:59):
Is he Lawrence Taylor level of crackhead? No? Absolutely not,
absolutely not.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
But obviously the crack hadn't taken him over so much
that he was stupid enough to admit to being on
crack while he was trying to get a gun a pistol.
But this is what crackheads do. I've said it once,
I've said it a zillion times. If in fact, Hunter
Biden was on crack, as they say he was, allegedly,
(36:29):
crackhead's gonna do with crackheads gonna do crackhead's gonna crack head.
Crackheads are gonna take a computer to a repair shop
and never return it. Crackheads are gonna take a computer
to a repair shop and never come and get it.
Speaker 1 (36:47):
That's what crackheads.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
Do they forget they even had a computer, let alone,
they dropped it off at a repair shop.
Speaker 1 (36:53):
He's on crack, you know, crack.
Speaker 2 (36:56):
It takes your body, mind and spirit over sends you
off to a place and an unimaginable place. And Hunter
Biden was that dude. So they indicted him, so w.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
So what.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
Hey, Hey, my fucking son not gone fucking wood. It's
president's son the indicting them. However, however, it's still four
to one.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
It is four to one.
Speaker 2 (37:25):
Pig Dick Donald Trump himself has four indictments and Hunter
Biden and the Biden family have one indictment. Now, if
this was a football game, if this was the Yankees
versus the Dodgers, if this was let's say, the Yankees
versus the.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
Red Sox, the Yankees would still be down four.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
To one because pig Dick Donald Trump has four, four
fucking indictments, and pig Dick Donald Trump was the president,
and pig Dick Donald Trump is running to be president
once again, to reign supreme as president once again. Hunter
Biden's the president's son. Now, I'm not going to sit
(38:10):
here and tell you that Hunter Biden should be buying
guns while he's on crack. And I'm not going to
sit here and tell you cadaver Joe Biden makes me happy.
When I see cadaver Joe Biden, I get nervous. You
ever see an old man walking down the street like
you want to help them, That's what I feel like
when I see cadaver Joe Biden smoking Joe Biden. He
(38:35):
makes me uncomfortable, nor I want to help him. I
want to say, go go rest the motherfucker. Go make
sure you have a clean mandyp braun and go watch
Go watch your stories, Go watch some ESPN, go watch
them General Hospital, History Channel, whatever the funk you're into.
And I don't think this guy should be running the country,
(38:56):
but I'll take him over pig dick Donald Trump any day,
because pig dick Donald Trump is a.
Speaker 1 (39:03):
No good two bit money scamming, lone life, cheap.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
Double talking and taggonistic golf cheating, election sore, losing, riot
causing twice, two times twice impeached, four time indicted, three
card monty playing, slick dick, gropey, pussy grabbing, no good
(39:36):
pile of shit. So yeah, yeah, Cadaver Jones all ding dump,
but I'll take him over that pussy grabbing fat fuck
riot causing four time and dieted motherfucker any day.
Speaker 1 (39:52):
I am done. I'm done Game sore and.
Speaker 2 (39:55):
I disrupted Game saw and I did Diggity disrupted. I
Am Rapaport Stereo Podcast. Tell a friend to tell a
friend about the world's most disruptive.
Speaker 1 (40:06):
Podcast, the worldwide phenomenon.
Speaker 2 (40:10):
Available all over the place New Zealand, Australia, Spain, Italy, Poland. Okay,
we got fans in Switzerland, Sweden. Okay, we got fans
in France, South.
Speaker 1 (40:25):
America, North America.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
And parts unknown. See I Am Rapaport Stereo podcast. Miles
Jeordane ak The Bleach Brothers aka the Dunst Brothers. Take
me out of here with something real nice, Take me
out of it with something We're loud, but most importantly
in this gorgeous iron Rappaport Stereo podcast, with something real
funking out
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