This is The Zone of Disruption! This is the I AM RAPAPORT: STEREO PODCAST! His name is Michael Rapaport aka The Gringo Mandingo aka The Monster of Mucous aka Captain Colitis aka The Disruptive Warrior aka Mr. NY aka The Inflamed Ashkenazi aka The Smiling Sultan of Sniff aka The Flat Footed Phenom is here to discuss: Being in San Diego this weekend, saying Dingo, Sick F*cks of the Week, a documentary recommendation, shows trying to start during a strike & a whole lotta mo'! This episode is not to be missed!
Stand Up Comedy Tickets on sale at: MichaelRapaportComedy.com
Follow on YouTube at: https://www.youtube.com/@MichaelRapaport
If you are interested in NBA, NFL, MLB, NCAA, Soccer, Golf, Tennis & UFC Picks/Parlays/Props Follow @TheCaptainPicks on Instagram & subscribe to packages at www.CaptainPicks.com
Produced by DBPodcasts.com
Follow @dbpodcasts, @iamrapaport, @michaelrapaport on TikTok, Twitter & Instagram
Music by Jansport J (Follow @JansportJ) www.JansportJMusic.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Boom have No Fear. On today's Banging I Am Rap
Report Stereo Podcast. Lauren Bobart Lauren Bobart the hand Job
Bandit giving hand jobs while people are trying to enjoy
the musical version of Beetlejuice is still out there on
(00:33):
the loose. She needs to be stopped. She needs to resign.
Plus Bill Maher, why does your face look like silly puddy?
Bill Maher, stop giving health advice. Your face looks like
silly putty. And the I Am Rap Report Stereo Podcast
(00:55):
Award winning segment The Sick Fucks of the Week All
that morning, hard hitting, gorgeous, gorgeous, museum quality. I Am
Rappaport Stereo Podcast coming up right now, Miles Jordan aka
The Bleach Brothers aka the Dust Brothers. Start this puppy
off with something real nice. Yes, start this puppy off
with something real loud, Okay, But most importantly, start this
(01:18):
puppy off with something real funky and let it rock,
Let it rock. See I Am Rappaport Stereo Podcast. Let's
fucking go fired up, figurty fired up. That's how I'm
(01:40):
feeling fired up. I Am Rappaport Stereo Podcast coming live
and direct, museum quality per usual. Tell a friend to
tell a friend to tell a friend about the fired
up world's most disruptive podcast, the I Am Rappaport Stereo Podcast.
(02:08):
The name is Michael Rappaport AK, the Kringo Man Dingo Ak,
the Inflamed Oshkarnazi aka the Sultan Sniff aka the Disruptive
Warrior a k a. The Jewish Jake Lamana fifteen rounds.
We're not doing it the modern way. No, we're doing
it old school. We're doing it Rocky one style. D
(02:33):
d da da dun Dun Dun da dun d da dun.
That's the theme music from Rocky. Of course, you you
still hear some some funk, some I Am Rappaport original funk.
Keep that funk going underneath me, Miles Jordan ak, The
Bleach Brothers aka the Desk Brothers, respectfully. I Am rap
(02:55):
Port Stereo podc is coming live and direct from New
York City as I get ready to get on a
plane to do five shows in San Diego this weekend
at American Comedy I'm at the American Comedy Club, American
Comedy Connection. I don't know what the cost answer Connection. Yeah,
maybe American Comedy Connection. Yes, in San Diego this weekend. Yo,
(03:20):
if you come see me, you say, gringo man, Dingo, Dingo,
I'm gonna make sure to stop the show and give
you some not stop the show, but I'm gonna make sure.
I'm gonna start asking people during the show if you
listen to the Iron rap Reports stereo podcast done. I'm
gonna start doing that because, uh, some of the fans
of the Iron Rapports stereo podcasts were at my shows
(03:42):
in Stanford and I didn't give them the love that
I feel like you guys deserve. I had great shows
in Stanford. The New York Comedy Club in Stanford is
a dope, dope spot. But if you come see me
in San Diego, which I will be yet this weekend, Okay,
(04:03):
I'm gonna be in San Diego the entire weekend, the
twenty first, twenty second, twenty third, and then in Pittsburgh
the twenty ninth and the thirtieth of September, then the
sixth and the seventh in Atlanta, atl And then the
twentieth and the twenty first in Chicago. Twentieth twenty first
of October, say Dingo, don't scream it during the middle
(04:28):
of the show, but when I come out during a
break dingo whatever. I'm gonna be like at some point
during every comedy show, I'm gonna be like, who listens
to the im Rapaport stereo podcast anyway? All tickets, all
information is available at Michael Rappaport Comedy dot com. I
hope everybody's feeling good. Hope everybody's feeling safe, Hope everybody
is feeling sane. We're gonna start this puppy off with
(04:50):
the sick Fucks of the Week Miles Jordan aka the
Bleach Brothers aka the Dust Brothers. Let me hear some
sick fuck of the Week theme music. Oh I need it.
This is an award that is earned, not given, earned,
not given. It's called the Sick the Fox of the
(05:13):
Oh you're sick, She's really fucking sick? Man, just fucking
wack line. Make him you smell like a sick. Fuck
you look like a sick it's supposed to be on
a plane. You six fuck you are you doing? Hey, man,
leave that chicken alone, Leave the chicken alone. But what
are you doing to the chicken that doesn't belong in
a chicken. I need it, I want it. See I
(05:41):
am Rapaport Stereo Podcast Award winning segment, the I Am
Raport Stereo Pocket Sick Fucks of the Week. This award
is earned, not given. It is an award that is earned,
not given. It doesn't just go out to anybody. It
doesn't just go out to every buddy. No, it goes
(06:03):
out to a certain kind of sick fuck with a
certain Uh how did the French state, Oh yeah, they say,
Ana say qua, shout out to the Rappa pack worldwide,
a certain je Na say qua. So many sick funks,
so little time, So many sick funks, so little time.
(06:24):
But this first one, Oh yeah, this first sick fuck.
A lot of people have requested it. Not that I
needed any inspiration or request for this animal, this sick
sick hand job bandit, the hand job Bandit, Lauren Bobert,
(06:49):
This QAnon kuk, this q Andon freak show. Fake conservative,
you fake fucking You're not conservative. You were not conservative.
This term needs to be vanquished conservative. First of all,
(07:10):
you align yourself with the Qanons. You're a q Andon coop.
You do you believe in Jewish space lasers? Huh? Because
we know you're you're a staunch You know you want
everybody to have their guns, right, Lauren, you want to
abortion to be illegal yet The sick funk of the
(07:32):
week Lauren Bobart, fake conservative q Andon whack job rifle
probably has grenades in her fucking in her purse. Everybody
saw it, This lunatic Lauren Bobert, the hand Job Bandit
(07:53):
of Colorado and beyond fraud? Fake artist? Was that the
broad Well? It wasn't Broadway the former Broadway musical Beatlejuice.
You know the movie Beatlejuice Alec Baldwin, Michael Keaton, iconic film.
(08:15):
They made a musical out of it. Because they make
a musical out of everything. They should make the musical
out of the Iron Rapaport Stereo podcast. That would be fantastic.
Holy shit, a song and dance Broadway play out of
the I Am Rapaport Stereo podcast. That would be fantastic.
(08:36):
Who wants to see that? Oh? I know, I do,
I know? The people would love imagine me doing Dick
Stain Donald Trump rants, Big Dick Donald Trump rants in
the form of a musical. Anyway. The hand Job Bandit
(08:58):
Lauren Bobart, a traveling rendition of Beetlejuice was in the crowd.
We've all seen the videotape. Given the date, she was
on a hand job, jerking him off. Vaping. You're supposed
to be a conservative, bitch. You're not a conservative. There's
(09:21):
nothing conservative about vaping in a What makes you think?
What were you vaping? Bitch? Were you was that weed?
Was that nicotine? What else are you hopped up on? Listen?
I'm all for a hand job. I'm all for a
sacred hand job. You know, I've said it once, I've
(09:41):
said it a million times. The hand job is the
most underrated, underutilized sexual weapon. We have nothing like a
fantastic hand job. I like a hand job. I like
and listen. In my years, I'm out of the business now,
too many cameras, too famous, too old. But I will say,
(10:08):
I will say I have been one to get a
hand job, you know, get the movie theater, not in
a crowded movie theater, on a plane, not if there's
anybody sitting near me. I'm not like a spectacle of myself,
but you know it's like, oh, we're sneaking around all
a little jerk jerk, you know, bup, up, up, Upah,
(10:32):
but if there's people nearby, I'm not sure I'm not
getting my chicken choked by a lady. You, Lauren Bobert,
you're in there. There's a pregnant woman. She said to you,
you sick funk. She said, stop vaping. Can you not vape?
I'm pregnant. You didn't want to stop. But yeah, you're
against abortions. You're in there jerking this guy off. He's
(10:56):
grabbing your tits and you're having a good time. Nothing
nothing conservative about that. You're in a public place. You
thought it was dark. We had the infrareds out on you, bitch,
Lauren Bobart. I can't stand these fucking jack faking persona.
You have a persona that you're a do gooder, you
(11:19):
have a persona that you're a conservative, but really, you're
out in public jerking dudes off. You have a history
of being a sick fuck, Lauren Bobart, and now you've
made it to the Iron Rapaport Stereo podcast Sick Focks
(11:41):
of the Week because during a musical, watch the fucking show.
Why are you at Beetlejuice If you're not gonna watch
the show, you're jerking this guy off. And based on listen,
I ain't a body language expert, but I am an actor.
I studied people. He seemed like he was uncomfortable. You're
(12:05):
grouping this fucking guy, You're on a date, jerking him off?
I mean, is this guy gonna have to press charges
on you? Resign, you fucking whack job. Resign. Lauren Bobart,
the hand Job Bandit of Colorado n be On, The
(12:30):
hand Job Bandit of Colorado and Beyond, is now also
a member of the most exclusive club of sick fucks.
The im Rapports Stereo podcast Sick Fuck of the Week.
Congratulations you sick kookie QAnon nut job. The next sick
(12:52):
fuck of the Week is This is a general general
message for all people that go to sporting events and
get into fights. But this is a really sad, sad,
sad situation. This past weekend, at Gillette Stadium, where the
(13:12):
New England Patriots were playing the Miami Dolphins, a fight ensued.
A guy, a father of two, who, based on all
the evidence, did not throw any punches, was assaulted and
killed murdered at a New England Patriots Miami Dolphins game.
(13:34):
Guys at the game he's been going to games for years,
father of two. I believe he was with his wife.
What a fucking what a sad, sad, pathetic state of
affairs when people are it's never Patriot fan on Patriot fan.
It's never Boston Brewin fan on Boston Brewin fan. It's
(13:54):
never Las Vegas Raider fan versus Las Vegas Raider fan,
which is just just goes to show how sick and
pathetic this really is. But a Dolphins fan punched a
New England Patriot fan in the face, and this man
Dale Mooney died and somebody's going to go to jail
(14:22):
for the rest of their life. This man's family and
his world has been crushed because of a stupid, pathetic incident.
A stupid pathetic incident. Again, it's never a New York
Yankee fan beating up a New York Yankee fan. Somehow,
some way us as fans and I'm a crazy fan,
(14:45):
but I'm not even close to me. I will never
get into an argument, an actual argument, let alone a
physical altercation, because my team is better than your team,
or your team is better than my team. At a
sporting event, which is basically like going to Disneyland. It's
supposed to be fun. If my team beats your team,
(15:10):
your team beats my team, we're beef and we're talking.
Get each other a drink, give each other a cheers.
You're not part of the team, and the teams that
are playing, they're not fighting and killing each other and
kicking each other in the face. This needs to be
brought to the forefront. This is an embarrassment, a pathetic
(15:33):
embarrassment that somebody would beat up another person at a
fucking sporting event. And it usually starts because my team
is better than your team and your team is better
than my team. Shame, shame, shame, and what a sad
sad And normally the sick folks of the week have
to be funny, but there's nothing funny about this. It's humiliating.
(16:01):
It's humiliating, it's devastating. It's sad. And the person that
murdered Dale Mooney, the New England Patriots fan, you're gonna
go You're going to prison. You're going to prison, and
you ruin this person's life. And now your life is
(16:22):
gonna be ruined because you were at a football game
acting like you had something more at stake than just
being a spectator. Pathetic pathetic and sad. Moving on. Is
Florida in the house. Is Florida in Sukasa. At the
(16:46):
Miami Airport, DSA agents were arrested because they were caught
red handed stealing money from luggage from passengers putting their
bags through the TSA machines. It's Florida in the house.
(17:10):
Only in Florida in the Miami Airport, You stupid, stupid fox.
I would be so angry if my shit got raffled,
rifled through, rifled, raffled. I don't know if that's the
right word. It doesn't matter. I would be so angry
(17:30):
if I put my shit through the TSA thing and
then something came up missing. Not that I put anything
valuable in there. I don't put anything valuable in there,
and I'm gonna even be more cautious going forward. I
got my eye. You think you got your eyes on me, TSA.
I have my eyes on you, TSA. I'll say it again,
(17:53):
you think you have your eyes on me, TSA, I
have my eyes on you. You Fox. You keep your
fucking hands to yourself. Whether you're sitting here watching beetlejuice
or you're a TSA agent, Dude, you're fucking You're supposed
(18:14):
to be protecting us. You're supposed to be checking for bombs,
not cashing people's bads. You sick fox you, you sick
fox you. But they got you. They got you good,
They got your real nice and they got your real proper. Anyway,
that's it. That is it. Og Paul Wall. I want
(18:35):
to give a shout out to og Pohwall og Powall,
who is very very active in the sick fuck of
the Week world, sending me all sorts of suggestions as
many of the rappapack are was trending the other day.
O G. Paul Wall has become a overnight sensation, overnight
(18:58):
sex symbol. O G. Paul Wall was trending the other
day because the ladies love cool Pee. Ladies love cool Pee.
A shout out to everybody who supports the Iron rapp
Poor Stereo Pocket. And I hope you guys listened to
the last episode where I interviewed this kid, Ian Bick.
(19:20):
His story is crazy. I really suggest you listened to
that episode. Very fun, very fascinating. It's doing well. And
if you didn't listen to it because it was an
interview with some of you didn't know I promise you
are missing out on that episode when you realize you're
getting time in jail, Like what's happening through your head?
(19:40):
And what was that first period of being in prison? Like, dude,
it was scary.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
Like I remember getting sentenced, Like when the judge, so,
you give your speech, Government says their side, defense says
their side. Any you know, victims want to speak anyone else.
I remember seeing my mother, you know, like crying while
she was speaking and sitting in the courtroom and even
like you could hear her cry when I was actually sentenced,
And when the judge takes a break and comes back
and he's he says a whole speech, I'm sure like
(20:07):
you've seen on TV. Says a whole speech. And then
he says thirty six months. And I'm sitting there like,
how long is thirty six months?
Speaker 1 (20:15):
And you should go back into catalogs and listen to
all the Iron Rapaport stereo podcast episodes. I mean, there's
so many iconic great interviews, so many iconic great episodes
and scroll through. We should do some sort of like
I don't know, just pulling the clip, pulling it. We
should do that, Miles Drone. We should start like pulling,
like a segment, pulling a rant and throwing it in. Uh,
(20:41):
you know, the new episodes just keeping everything like, you know,
in a nice sort of sinclepative flowy updating, old dating, reimagining,
and so forth and so on. Brutal week for me
(21:12):
and my fantasy football team. Brutal, just fucking brutal. Man Well,
I beat a Rassan in Stern Show Fantasy Football, beat
the shit out of him. It's so funny how when
you beat the shit out of somebody, they disappear, they're
just gone, like, but when you win, you hear from them.
(21:35):
I've said it once, I've said it many times. First
of all, guys, there's no feelings in fantasy football. Second
of all, it's easy to talk shit when you're winning.
It's not that easy to talk shit when you're losing.
And I took a loss and a win this past
week and beat the shit out of Rassan from the
wrap up show Sternthology, beat his ass. And then in
(21:58):
my money league, I took a beating because my guys
just they don't maybe they don't know it's fantasy football season.
Maybe my guys on my fantasy football team think that
it's I don't know, preseason, it's not. We're heading into
Week three of the NFL respectfully and fantasy football, and
(22:19):
I know some of you fantasy football people think this
is a fucking joke. It's not a joke. It's real
us putting our blood, gut, energy on the line every
single week, every single roster spot, every single pick, every
single drop, every single waiver pickup puts money in your pocket.
(22:42):
Fantasy football has taken the NFL to the next level.
Not that you needed it, but it is just part
of the community. It's part of the culture of the NFL.
Part of the NFL culture is fantasy football, whether you
like it or not. Damian Pierce of the Houston Texans,
(23:04):
AJ Dillon of the fucking Green Bay Packers. You think
this is a fucking joke, Drake London, one weekend, you
disappear next weekend, You fucking Lynn Swann out here. Okay,
need of these fucking guys focused, A need of these
fucking guys partaking and participating and playing kicking fucking ass.
(23:32):
I need to turn things around this weekend. And I
hope everybody else is having a great fantasy football season,
because full transparency. Mine hasn't started off good? There, I
said it. What else is going on? Watching a fantastic
documentary series Murder doc and chill the Making a Murderer
(23:58):
documentary that was originally on Netflix which was a while ago,
which was like ten parts, and then they did Making
to the Murderer again and then more Making of the
Murders is like, you know, people get fascinated with these
these crimes, these cases, and you know, you watch it,
(24:20):
and then people take it to the next level and
they become their own investigative reporters, like the Great Great documentary,
which I believe was in the top five top ten
of all sick fuck documentaries of the Iron Rapp reports
Stereo Pockets, Don't Fuck with Cats body moving from Don't
Fuck with Cats. She saw about that guy that was
(24:43):
fucking with cats and fucking with people. She got on
the case along with some other people, and they solved
that crime. They helped solve that crime anyway. Sean Avery,
you remember Sean Avery, the sort of Buddha looking white
trash sick fuck, and he is a sick fuck. He
(25:03):
is a sick fuck who was the centerpiece of the
Making of a Murderer. Documentary and if you remember, he
was in jail for eighteen years for a crime that
he actually did not commit. But but this is not
(25:24):
a sweet innocent man. This guy is a true sick fuck.
And Candace Owens, yes, the Candace Owens, who is very, very,
very controversial. But I've said it once, I've said it
a million times. I don't disagree with a lot of
things Candace Owens has said. I do disagree with some
of the things she has said, and I'm sure you
(25:46):
guys disagree with some of the things I have said.
Matter of fact, I know the Worldwide rap A Pack
has disagreed with some of the things I said. Probably
not a lot because or in sync. Maybe bye bye
bye bye bye, like justin Timerlake and them, we are
(26:06):
in sink. However, I don't believe that anybody should agree
with every single thing a podcast or a broadcast or
an actor, a politician. Definitely cousin, nephew, wife, brother, sister
says nobody should be completely in sync with everything any
(26:28):
other person says. I just don't believe that's realistic. Nonetheless,
Candice Owens, who works for The Daily Mail over there
with Daily Wire, the Daily Wire over there, with Ben
Shapiro has put out a ten part documentary called Making
(26:50):
a Convict, and it really really, really really deep dives
into this Sean Avery case and everything that happened with
the Sean Avery case and the just the dirtiness of
the Sean Avery case, who obviously in that documentary was
(27:14):
portrayed as an innocent victim and the law who I
think is also corrupt in his town, little small town
over the murder of that woman, Teresa Halbuck. She has
a great fucking documentary that first of all, the makers
of the Netflix documentary, the filmmakers, they're fucked up. They
(27:35):
are fucked up, no matter if this guy turns out
to be innocent or not. And I haven't figured out
if he is innocent or not based on the Kandae
Owens documentary Convicting a Murderer. But there's just so much corruption,
so much chaos, so much just weird, weird foul play
(28:01):
with this case, including the original filmmakers of the Netflix documentary,
remember that documentary The Staircase, which Me and the Young
Shooter broke down beautifully in the iconic twenty Greatest Murder
doc and chill episode of The Iron wrapp port Stereo podcasts,
(28:21):
which if you haven't heard, you should check it out. Anyway,
very very very very thorough, very detailed documentary that Kennice
Owens has made and it is available on the Daily Wire.
Forget the politics of it all. Forget the politics of
it all. If you're into murder docs, trust me, if
(28:43):
you're into Making of a Murderer that doc and the
follow up, you should check this out because that case
is yet to be told clearly and non corruptly. So
I think I'm on episode four of that and they're
they're dipping them out, rolling them out, real nice and
(29:04):
real proper. Another thing that's going on is Drew Barrymore
said she was going to start her talk show and
then didn't, and Bill Maher said he was going to
start his talk show and then didn't. Drew Barrymore made
a fucking asshole out of herself the way she handled that.
(29:26):
And she's double talking. She's talking about the crystals and
the rainbows and the fairies and the angels and blah
blah blah blah blah. I understand wanting to get back
to work, but we're fucking striking man. Nobody likes it,
and Drew Barrymore, Bill Moore, this fucking guy, Drew, Bill Maher,
(29:48):
this fucking guy. Neither one of these motherfuckers are hurting
for money, especially Drew Barrymore. She got a lot of cake,
and it ain't just from being an actress. She got
a lot of cake, a lot of moolah. So does
Bill Maher. We're striking, motherfucker. So but now Sherry Shepherd
is starting her show and Jennifer Hudson is starting her show.
(30:13):
As of the recording of this Iron Rapport stereo podcast,
because people are saying they're gonna do it, and the
backlash as they should have it, all four of them,
all these people were on strike now as of the
Iron rap Reports stereo podcasts that I'm recording right now,
negotiations have started. They should be locked in a room
(30:35):
on some twelve angry men shit and figure this out.
Bolt the door, lock the door. George Clooney comes in,
Denzel Washington comes in, Adam Sandler comes in. All these big, big,
big stars who these big producers are enamored with, as
they should be. They should be in there mediating this strike,
(30:58):
these conversations till it gets fixed. I guarantee you if
they did that. We put some big wigs in there,
Adam Sandler, Larry David, Denzel Washington, Will Smith, Uh, who else?
Jennifer Lawrence put her in there? What are some other
big stars? Margot Robbie put her in there? Put the
(31:21):
ten biggest stars, five men, five women in there, and
some comedians. Chris Rock guarantee you this shit could be fixed.
Send him a private jet out the Hawaii, Switzerland, wherever
the fuck you want to go and get this strength
fixed up because it's been on too long. But Drew
(31:43):
Barrymore trying to go back to work and then double
talking and fucking Bill Maher. Stay off the weed, homie.
Maybe your brain is scrambled, always trying to give health advice.
He looked like Bill Maher, you look like shit. You
look like your face looks like straight up clay mation,
and you're trying to give health advice. Maybe you don't
(32:05):
eat a lot, but you certainly don't go to the
gym a lot. What ah, my man, shit looks like
silly puddy trying to give health advice. Fuck out of
here anyway. Just keep your head out of swivel, folks.
There's a lot going on. Need to keep our heads
(32:26):
on a swivel collectively. Anyway, I'm done. This has been
another fantastic Iron Wrap Report stereo podcast, Tell a Friend
to Tell a Friend about the worldwide phenomenon The I
Am wrap Aport stereo podcast. Miles Jordan ak The Bleach
Brothers aka the Dust Brothers. Take us out of here
(32:47):
just like you brought us in here with something real, nice,
real loud. The most importantly, turn it up a little
bit and let it rock and take me out of
here with something real funky. Iron Rapport stereo podcasts. I'm Out.
Boom have No Fear. On today's Banging I Am Rap
Report Stereo Podcast. Lauren Bobart Lauren Bobart the hand Job
Bandit giving hand jobs while people are trying to enjoy
the musical version of Beetlejuice is still out there on
(00:33):
the loose. She needs to be stopped. She needs to resign.
Plus Bill Maher, why does your face look like silly puddy?
Bill Maher, stop giving health advice. Your face looks like
silly putty. And the I Am Rap Report Stereo Podcast
(00:55):
Award winning segment The Sick Fucks of the Week All
that morning, hard hitting, gorgeous, gorgeous, museum quality. I Am
Rappaport Stereo Podcast coming up right now, Miles Jordan aka
The Bleach Brothers aka the Dust Brothers. Start this puppy
off with something real nice. Yes, start this puppy off
with something real loud, Okay, But most importantly, start this
(01:18):
puppy off with something real funky and let it rock,
Let it rock. See I Am Rappaport Stereo Podcast. Let's
fucking go fired up, figurty fired up. That's how I'm
(01:40):
feeling fired up. I Am Rappaport Stereo Podcast coming live
and direct, museum quality per usual. Tell a friend to
tell a friend to tell a friend about the fired
up world's most disruptive podcast, the I Am Rappaport Stereo Podcast.
(02:08):
The name is Michael Rappaport AK, the Kringo Man Dingo Ak,
the Inflamed Oshkarnazi aka the Sultan Sniff aka the Disruptive
Warrior a k a. The Jewish Jake Lamana fifteen rounds.
We're not doing it the modern way. No, we're doing
it old school. We're doing it Rocky one style. D
(02:33):
d da da dun Dun Dun da dun d da dun.
That's the theme music from Rocky. Of course, you you
still hear some some funk, some I Am Rappaport original funk.
Keep that funk going underneath me, Miles Jordan ak, The
Bleach Brothers aka the Desk Brothers, respectfully. I Am rap
(02:55):
Port Stereo podc is coming live and direct from New
York City as I get ready to get on a
plane to do five shows in San Diego this weekend
at American Comedy I'm at the American Comedy Club, American
Comedy Connection. I don't know what the cost answer Connection. Yeah,
maybe American Comedy Connection. Yes, in San Diego this weekend. Yo,
(03:20):
if you come see me, you say, gringo man, Dingo, Dingo,
I'm gonna make sure to stop the show and give
you some not stop the show, but I'm gonna make sure.
I'm gonna start asking people during the show if you
listen to the Iron rap Reports stereo podcast done. I'm
gonna start doing that because, uh, some of the fans
of the Iron Rapports stereo podcasts were at my shows
(03:42):
in Stanford and I didn't give them the love that
I feel like you guys deserve. I had great shows
in Stanford. The New York Comedy Club in Stanford is
a dope, dope spot. But if you come see me
in San Diego, which I will be yet this weekend, Okay,
(04:03):
I'm gonna be in San Diego the entire weekend, the
twenty first, twenty second, twenty third, and then in Pittsburgh
the twenty ninth and the thirtieth of September, then the
sixth and the seventh in Atlanta, atl And then the
twentieth and the twenty first in Chicago. Twentieth twenty first
of October, say Dingo, don't scream it during the middle
(04:28):
of the show, but when I come out during a
break dingo whatever. I'm gonna be like at some point
during every comedy show, I'm gonna be like, who listens
to the im Rapaport stereo podcast anyway? All tickets, all
information is available at Michael Rappaport Comedy dot com. I
hope everybody's feeling good. Hope everybody's feeling safe, Hope everybody
is feeling sane. We're gonna start this puppy off with
(04:50):
the sick Fucks of the Week Miles Jordan aka the
Bleach Brothers aka the Dust Brothers. Let me hear some
sick fuck of the Week theme music. Oh I need it.
This is an award that is earned, not given, earned,
not given. It's called the Sick the Fox of the
(05:13):
Oh you're sick, She's really fucking sick? Man, just fucking
wack line. Make him you smell like a sick. Fuck
you look like a sick it's supposed to be on
a plane. You six fuck you are you doing? Hey, man,
leave that chicken alone, Leave the chicken alone. But what
are you doing to the chicken that doesn't belong in
a chicken. I need it, I want it. See I
(05:41):
am Rapaport Stereo Podcast Award winning segment, the I Am
Raport Stereo Pocket Sick Fucks of the Week. This award
is earned, not given. It is an award that is earned,
not given. It doesn't just go out to anybody. It
doesn't just go out to every buddy. No, it goes
(06:03):
out to a certain kind of sick fuck with a
certain Uh how did the French state, Oh yeah, they say,
Ana say qua, shout out to the Rappa pack worldwide,
a certain je Na say qua. So many sick funks,
so little time, So many sick funks, so little time.
(06:24):
But this first one, Oh yeah, this first sick fuck.
A lot of people have requested it. Not that I
needed any inspiration or request for this animal, this sick
sick hand job bandit, the hand job Bandit, Lauren Bobert,
(06:49):
This QAnon kuk, this q Andon freak show. Fake conservative,
you fake fucking You're not conservative. You were not conservative.
This term needs to be vanquished conservative. First of all,
(07:10):
you align yourself with the Qanons. You're a q Andon coop.
You do you believe in Jewish space lasers? Huh? Because
we know you're you're a staunch You know you want
everybody to have their guns, right, Lauren, you want to
abortion to be illegal yet The sick funk of the
(07:32):
week Lauren Bobart, fake conservative q Andon whack job rifle
probably has grenades in her fucking in her purse. Everybody
saw it, This lunatic Lauren Bobert, the hand Job Bandit
(07:53):
of Colorado and beyond fraud? Fake artist? Was that the
broad Well? It wasn't Broadway the former Broadway musical Beatlejuice.
You know the movie Beatlejuice Alec Baldwin, Michael Keaton, iconic film.
(08:15):
They made a musical out of it. Because they make
a musical out of everything. They should make the musical
out of the Iron Rapaport Stereo podcast. That would be fantastic.
Holy shit, a song and dance Broadway play out of
the I Am Rapaport Stereo podcast. That would be fantastic.
(08:36):
Who wants to see that? Oh? I know, I do,
I know? The people would love imagine me doing Dick
Stain Donald Trump rants, Big Dick Donald Trump rants in
the form of a musical. Anyway. The hand Job Bandit
(08:58):
Lauren Bobart, a traveling rendition of Beetlejuice was in the crowd.
We've all seen the videotape. Given the date, she was
on a hand job, jerking him off. Vaping. You're supposed
to be a conservative, bitch. You're not a conservative. There's
(09:21):
nothing conservative about vaping in a What makes you think?
What were you vaping? Bitch? Were you was that weed?
Was that nicotine? What else are you hopped up on? Listen?
I'm all for a hand job. I'm all for a
sacred hand job. You know, I've said it once, I've
(09:41):
said it a million times. The hand job is the
most underrated, underutilized sexual weapon. We have nothing like a
fantastic hand job. I like a hand job. I like
and listen. In my years, I'm out of the business now,
too many cameras, too famous, too old. But I will say,
(10:08):
I will say I have been one to get a
hand job, you know, get the movie theater, not in
a crowded movie theater, on a plane, not if there's
anybody sitting near me. I'm not like a spectacle of myself,
but you know it's like, oh, we're sneaking around all
a little jerk jerk, you know, bup, up, up, Upah,
(10:32):
but if there's people nearby, I'm not sure I'm not
getting my chicken choked by a lady. You, Lauren Bobert,
you're in there. There's a pregnant woman. She said to you,
you sick funk. She said, stop vaping. Can you not vape?
I'm pregnant. You didn't want to stop. But yeah, you're
against abortions. You're in there jerking this guy off. He's
(10:56):
grabbing your tits and you're having a good time. Nothing
nothing conservative about that. You're in a public place. You
thought it was dark. We had the infrareds out on you, bitch,
Lauren Bobart. I can't stand these fucking jack faking persona.
You have a persona that you're a do gooder, you
(11:19):
have a persona that you're a conservative, but really, you're
out in public jerking dudes off. You have a history
of being a sick fuck, Lauren Bobart, and now you've
made it to the Iron Rapaport Stereo podcast Sick Focks
(11:41):
of the Week because during a musical, watch the fucking show.
Why are you at Beetlejuice If you're not gonna watch
the show, you're jerking this guy off. And based on listen,
I ain't a body language expert, but I am an actor.
I studied people. He seemed like he was uncomfortable. You're
(12:05):
grouping this fucking guy, You're on a date, jerking him off?
I mean, is this guy gonna have to press charges
on you? Resign, you fucking whack job. Resign. Lauren Bobart,
the hand Job Bandit of Colorado n be On, The
(12:30):
hand Job Bandit of Colorado and Beyond, is now also
a member of the most exclusive club of sick fucks.
The im Rapports Stereo podcast Sick Fuck of the Week.
Congratulations you sick kookie QAnon nut job. The next sick
(12:52):
fuck of the Week is This is a general general
message for all people that go to sporting events and
get into fights. But this is a really sad, sad,
sad situation. This past weekend, at Gillette Stadium, where the
(13:12):
New England Patriots were playing the Miami Dolphins, a fight ensued.
A guy, a father of two, who, based on all
the evidence, did not throw any punches, was assaulted and
killed murdered at a New England Patriots Miami Dolphins game.
(13:34):
Guys at the game he's been going to games for years,
father of two. I believe he was with his wife.
What a fucking what a sad, sad, pathetic state of
affairs when people are it's never Patriot fan on Patriot fan.
It's never Boston Brewin fan on Boston Brewin fan. It's
(13:54):
never Las Vegas Raider fan versus Las Vegas Raider fan,
which is just just goes to show how sick and
pathetic this really is. But a Dolphins fan punched a
New England Patriot fan in the face, and this man
Dale Mooney died and somebody's going to go to jail
(14:22):
for the rest of their life. This man's family and
his world has been crushed because of a stupid, pathetic incident.
A stupid pathetic incident. Again, it's never a New York
Yankee fan beating up a New York Yankee fan. Somehow,
some way us as fans and I'm a crazy fan,
(14:45):
but I'm not even close to me. I will never
get into an argument, an actual argument, let alone a
physical altercation, because my team is better than your team,
or your team is better than my team. At a
sporting event, which is basically like going to Disneyland. It's
supposed to be fun. If my team beats your team,
(15:10):
your team beats my team, we're beef and we're talking.
Get each other a drink, give each other a cheers.
You're not part of the team, and the teams that
are playing, they're not fighting and killing each other and
kicking each other in the face. This needs to be
brought to the forefront. This is an embarrassment, a pathetic
(15:33):
embarrassment that somebody would beat up another person at a
fucking sporting event. And it usually starts because my team
is better than your team and your team is better
than my team. Shame, shame, shame, and what a sad
sad And normally the sick folks of the week have
to be funny, but there's nothing funny about this. It's humiliating.
(16:01):
It's humiliating, it's devastating. It's sad. And the person that
murdered Dale Mooney, the New England Patriots fan, you're gonna
go You're going to prison. You're going to prison, and
you ruin this person's life. And now your life is
(16:22):
gonna be ruined because you were at a football game
acting like you had something more at stake than just
being a spectator. Pathetic pathetic and sad. Moving on. Is
Florida in the house. Is Florida in Sukasa. At the
(16:46):
Miami Airport, DSA agents were arrested because they were caught
red handed stealing money from luggage from passengers putting their
bags through the TSA machines. It's Florida in the house.
(17:10):
Only in Florida in the Miami Airport, You stupid, stupid fox.
I would be so angry if my shit got raffled,
rifled through, rifled, raffled. I don't know if that's the
right word. It doesn't matter. I would be so angry
(17:30):
if I put my shit through the TSA thing and
then something came up missing. Not that I put anything
valuable in there. I don't put anything valuable in there,
and I'm gonna even be more cautious going forward. I
got my eye. You think you got your eyes on me, TSA.
I have my eyes on you, TSA. I'll say it again,
(17:53):
you think you have your eyes on me, TSA, I
have my eyes on you. You Fox. You keep your
fucking hands to yourself. Whether you're sitting here watching beetlejuice
or you're a TSA agent, Dude, you're fucking You're supposed
(18:14):
to be protecting us. You're supposed to be checking for bombs,
not cashing people's bads. You sick fox you, you sick
fox you. But they got you. They got you good,
They got your real nice and they got your real proper. Anyway,
that's it. That is it. Og Paul Wall. I want
(18:35):
to give a shout out to og Pohwall og Powall,
who is very very active in the sick fuck of
the Week world, sending me all sorts of suggestions as
many of the rappapack are was trending the other day.
O G. Paul Wall has become a overnight sensation, overnight
(18:58):
sex symbol. O G. Paul Wall was trending the other
day because the ladies love cool Pee. Ladies love cool Pee.
A shout out to everybody who supports the Iron rapp
Poor Stereo Pocket. And I hope you guys listened to
the last episode where I interviewed this kid, Ian Bick.
(19:20):
His story is crazy. I really suggest you listened to
that episode. Very fun, very fascinating. It's doing well. And
if you didn't listen to it because it was an
interview with some of you didn't know I promise you
are missing out on that episode when you realize you're
getting time in jail, Like what's happening through your head?
(19:40):
And what was that first period of being in prison? Like, dude,
it was scary.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
Like I remember getting sentenced, Like when the judge, so,
you give your speech, Government says their side, defense says
their side. Any you know, victims want to speak anyone else.
I remember seeing my mother, you know, like crying while
she was speaking and sitting in the courtroom and even
like you could hear her cry when I was actually sentenced,
And when the judge takes a break and comes back
and he's he says a whole speech, I'm sure like
(20:07):
you've seen on TV. Says a whole speech. And then
he says thirty six months. And I'm sitting there like,
how long is thirty six months?
Speaker 1 (20:15):
And you should go back into catalogs and listen to
all the Iron Rapaport stereo podcast episodes. I mean, there's
so many iconic great interviews, so many iconic great episodes
and scroll through. We should do some sort of like
I don't know, just pulling the clip, pulling it. We
should do that, Miles Drone. We should start like pulling,
like a segment, pulling a rant and throwing it in. Uh,
(20:41):
you know, the new episodes just keeping everything like, you know,
in a nice sort of sinclepative flowy updating, old dating, reimagining,
and so forth and so on. Brutal week for me
(21:12):
and my fantasy football team. Brutal, just fucking brutal. Man Well,
I beat a Rassan in Stern Show Fantasy Football, beat
the shit out of him. It's so funny how when
you beat the shit out of somebody, they disappear, they're
just gone, like, but when you win, you hear from them.
(21:35):
I've said it once, I've said it many times. First
of all, guys, there's no feelings in fantasy football. Second
of all, it's easy to talk shit when you're winning.
It's not that easy to talk shit when you're losing.
And I took a loss and a win this past
week and beat the shit out of Rassan from the
wrap up show Sternthology, beat his ass. And then in
(21:58):
my money league, I took a beating because my guys
just they don't maybe they don't know it's fantasy football season.
Maybe my guys on my fantasy football team think that
it's I don't know, preseason, it's not. We're heading into
Week three of the NFL respectfully and fantasy football, and
(22:19):
I know some of you fantasy football people think this
is a fucking joke. It's not a joke. It's real
us putting our blood, gut, energy on the line every
single week, every single roster spot, every single pick, every
single drop, every single waiver pickup puts money in your pocket.
(22:42):
Fantasy football has taken the NFL to the next level.
Not that you needed it, but it is just part
of the community. It's part of the culture of the NFL.
Part of the NFL culture is fantasy football, whether you
like it or not. Damian Pierce of the Houston Texans,
(23:04):
AJ Dillon of the fucking Green Bay Packers. You think
this is a fucking joke, Drake London, one weekend, you
disappear next weekend, You fucking Lynn Swann out here. Okay,
need of these fucking guys focused, A need of these
fucking guys partaking and participating and playing kicking fucking ass.
(23:32):
I need to turn things around this weekend. And I
hope everybody else is having a great fantasy football season,
because full transparency. Mine hasn't started off good? There, I
said it. What else is going on? Watching a fantastic
documentary series Murder doc and chill the Making a Murderer
(23:58):
documentary that was originally on Netflix which was a while ago,
which was like ten parts, and then they did Making
to the Murderer again and then more Making of the
Murders is like, you know, people get fascinated with these
these crimes, these cases, and you know, you watch it,
(24:20):
and then people take it to the next level and
they become their own investigative reporters, like the Great Great documentary,
which I believe was in the top five top ten
of all sick fuck documentaries of the Iron Rapp reports
Stereo Pockets, Don't Fuck with Cats body moving from Don't
Fuck with Cats. She saw about that guy that was
(24:43):
fucking with cats and fucking with people. She got on
the case along with some other people, and they solved
that crime. They helped solve that crime anyway. Sean Avery,
you remember Sean Avery, the sort of Buddha looking white
trash sick fuck, and he is a sick fuck. He
(25:03):
is a sick fuck who was the centerpiece of the
Making of a Murderer. Documentary and if you remember, he
was in jail for eighteen years for a crime that
he actually did not commit. But but this is not
(25:24):
a sweet innocent man. This guy is a true sick fuck.
And Candace Owens, yes, the Candace Owens, who is very, very,
very controversial. But I've said it once, I've said it
a million times. I don't disagree with a lot of
things Candace Owens has said. I do disagree with some
of the things she has said, and I'm sure you
(25:46):
guys disagree with some of the things I have said.
Matter of fact, I know the Worldwide rap A Pack
has disagreed with some of the things I said. Probably
not a lot because or in sync. Maybe bye bye
bye bye bye, like justin Timerlake and them, we are
(26:06):
in sink. However, I don't believe that anybody should agree
with every single thing a podcast or a broadcast or
an actor, a politician. Definitely cousin, nephew, wife, brother, sister
says nobody should be completely in sync with everything any
(26:28):
other person says. I just don't believe that's realistic. Nonetheless,
Candice Owens, who works for The Daily Mail over there
with Daily Wire, the Daily Wire over there, with Ben
Shapiro has put out a ten part documentary called Making
(26:50):
a Convict, and it really really, really really deep dives
into this Sean Avery case and everything that happened with
the Sean Avery case and the just the dirtiness of
the Sean Avery case, who obviously in that documentary was
(27:14):
portrayed as an innocent victim and the law who I
think is also corrupt in his town, little small town
over the murder of that woman, Teresa Halbuck. She has
a great fucking documentary that first of all, the makers
of the Netflix documentary, the filmmakers, they're fucked up. They
(27:35):
are fucked up, no matter if this guy turns out
to be innocent or not. And I haven't figured out
if he is innocent or not based on the Kandae
Owens documentary Convicting a Murderer. But there's just so much corruption,
so much chaos, so much just weird, weird foul play
(28:01):
with this case, including the original filmmakers of the Netflix documentary,
remember that documentary The Staircase, which Me and the Young
Shooter broke down beautifully in the iconic twenty Greatest Murder
doc and chill episode of The Iron wrapp port Stereo podcasts,
(28:21):
which if you haven't heard, you should check it out. Anyway,
very very very very thorough, very detailed documentary that Kennice
Owens has made and it is available on the Daily Wire.
Forget the politics of it all. Forget the politics of
it all. If you're into murder docs, trust me, if
(28:43):
you're into Making of a Murderer that doc and the
follow up, you should check this out because that case
is yet to be told clearly and non corruptly. So
I think I'm on episode four of that and they're
they're dipping them out, rolling them out, real nice and
(29:04):
real proper. Another thing that's going on is Drew Barrymore
said she was going to start her talk show and
then didn't, and Bill Maher said he was going to
start his talk show and then didn't. Drew Barrymore made
a fucking asshole out of herself the way she handled that.
(29:26):
And she's double talking. She's talking about the crystals and
the rainbows and the fairies and the angels and blah
blah blah blah blah. I understand wanting to get back
to work, but we're fucking striking man. Nobody likes it,
and Drew Barrymore, Bill Moore, this fucking guy, Drew, Bill Maher,
(29:48):
this fucking guy. Neither one of these motherfuckers are hurting
for money, especially Drew Barrymore. She got a lot of cake,
and it ain't just from being an actress. She got
a lot of cake, a lot of moolah. So does
Bill Maher. We're striking, motherfucker. So but now Sherry Shepherd
is starting her show and Jennifer Hudson is starting her show.
(30:13):
As of the recording of this Iron Rapport stereo podcast,
because people are saying they're gonna do it, and the
backlash as they should have it, all four of them,
all these people were on strike now as of the
Iron rap Reports stereo podcasts that I'm recording right now,
negotiations have started. They should be locked in a room
(30:35):
on some twelve angry men shit and figure this out.
Bolt the door, lock the door. George Clooney comes in,
Denzel Washington comes in, Adam Sandler comes in. All these big, big,
big stars who these big producers are enamored with, as
they should be. They should be in there mediating this strike,
(30:58):
these conversations till it gets fixed. I guarantee you if
they did that. We put some big wigs in there,
Adam Sandler, Larry David, Denzel Washington, Will Smith, Uh, who else?
Jennifer Lawrence put her in there? What are some other
big stars? Margot Robbie put her in there? Put the
(31:21):
ten biggest stars, five men, five women in there, and
some comedians. Chris Rock guarantee you this shit could be fixed.
Send him a private jet out the Hawaii, Switzerland, wherever
the fuck you want to go and get this strength
fixed up because it's been on too long. But Drew
(31:43):
Barrymore trying to go back to work and then double
talking and fucking Bill Maher. Stay off the weed, homie.
Maybe your brain is scrambled, always trying to give health advice.
He looked like Bill Maher, you look like shit. You
look like your face looks like straight up clay mation,
and you're trying to give health advice. Maybe you don't
(32:05):
eat a lot, but you certainly don't go to the
gym a lot. What ah, my man, shit looks like
silly puddy trying to give health advice. Fuck out of
here anyway. Just keep your head out of swivel, folks.
There's a lot going on. Need to keep our heads
(32:26):
on a swivel collectively. Anyway, I'm done. This has been
another fantastic Iron Wrap Report stereo podcast, Tell a Friend
to Tell a Friend about the worldwide phenomenon The I
Am wrap Aport stereo podcast. Miles Jordan ak The Bleach
Brothers aka the Dust Brothers. Take us out of here
(32:47):
just like you brought us in here with something real, nice,
real loud. The most importantly, turn it up a little
bit and let it rock and take me out of
here with something real funky. Iron Rapport stereo podcasts. I'm Out.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.