July 24, 2024 • 37 mins
This week, we're revisiting an episode from 2022. This topic still resonates with the high sensitivity and edginess we're all dealing with between the heat of the summer, travel delays, Covid on the rise, and politically charged conventions. Throw in supercharged astrological shifts, such asMars, the planet of action or war, is next to (conjunct) Uranus - the planet of sudden change, and both are working with (trining) Pluto, the planet that digs up dirt you don't want to deal...so you're going to have to deal with uncomfortable stuff. You gotta stay centered.
And one more cosmic kicker: Mercury slows down this week, putting us in its Shadow phase before it goes full-on retrograde on August 4-27. Back up your devices, avoid new electronics purchases, triple-check travel plans and contracts, and confirm appointments. Slow down your thoughts and speech to reflect, review, and renew yourself from the inside out.
Along those lines - you can enjoy this review from 2022.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Insider's Guide to the Other Side, a production
of iHeartRadio. Hi, y'all, I'm Julie.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Hi there, I'm Brenda. Welcome to Insider's Guide to the
Other Side.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Now, y'all need to know that we are obsessed with
everything on the other side.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Yes, we are, because once you learn to navigate the energetic,
or to some the invisible world, life is going to
be more fun and much more serene.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Uh heck, yes it can, because, let's be honest, for
in Earth school is hard. In fact, you taught me.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
That let's crush Earth School together.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Well, hello, my witchy food. I would ask how are you,
but I have a feeling your answer would be, we're
still not okay.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Exactly It's exactly right, my elf, my yodeling elf. You know,
lots of talents, endless, endless, Yes, yes, yes, And how
are you?
Speaker 1 (01:10):
You know? I'm actually doing pretty good. Like I'm actually okay, okay,
I like, yeah, I'm actually okay. Mostly, I mean we're
going to get into some details.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
I think we're going to get into it people.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
We're going but I think mostly, you know, yeah, I
think mostly I'm doing pretty good.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Okay, good, I'm glad to do I'm glad to hear it.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Are you mostly okay?
Speaker 2 (01:34):
I am?
Speaker 3 (01:36):
I am?
Speaker 2 (01:37):
I am doing okay. If I stay in my very
narrow bandwidth, which is where I like the you know,
when I'm in my house with my dog, I'm okay.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Well, I truly understand that.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
When I venture out into the world, it is sometimes stunning,
like I am so shocked and caught by surprise and
like wow, I mean from people driving crazy to aggression
at the grocery store.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
I was taking this same thing. I swear hand to
my mama that that I was thinking I was. I
was had a scenario in my head when I went
to our one of our grocery stores is called Smith's here,
and there was a guy who was getting ready to
run a stop sign and hit me as I was
(02:32):
walking across the whatever parking lot to go into the
grocery store. And I'm like, no, what's your hurry? I mean,
it's still going to be there. Do you need to
kill somebody? And so it's weird. I was just saying
in my head, grocery store, what is what the grocery store?
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Do you remember when there was a big push to
not text and drive where people like had to be
told not to text and drive, right.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
And they they still do f YI, but continue you.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
I was in the grocery store and I was I
turned a corner and I actually stood still as I'm
watching a guy pushing a cart texting and he was
going to hit me direct. I wasn't moving, Like I
wasn't moving and I wasn't going to move and say,
I'm going to see what this guy's gonna do. He
swerved at the last second, and like we now need
to not drive grocery carts and text at the same time.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
Right, And that wasn't even the worst or what I saw.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Like my so when so my point all this is
like just reflecting back to me. You know this this
caused me to reflect back when we first did an
episode that said, you know, people aren't okay. Right now,
they're not okay. And that was almost three years ago,
just into the barely into the pandemic.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Probably three four months or three months max. And to
the pandemic, we were like, oh, people are not okay, and.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
It was weird.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Everything turned upside down, Like you know, for a couple
of weeks, you can be shut down and like okay, Well,
this is extraordinary and we're all stepping up. But three
month a month in two and a month and halfened
like what is going on? The isolation, the freak out factor.
Going out felt dangerous and threatening, like we were not okay.
(04:24):
And then you know, being out in the world, I'm like,
we're still not okay.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
No, we are still not okay.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
It's it's just there's it's we're on a different space
of the spectrum of not okay, but it's still not okay.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
And I even think there's aspects of it that are
still fear based. But I think that we're getting far
more complex. I think one of the big reasons that
we weren't okay three years ago was there was fear.
I mean, if you had to give it a percentage,
it would be pretty high. Right. It was the unknown.
You know, none of the people alone for the most part,
(05:01):
had ever lived through a pandemic. We didn't know what
this was going to do. We saw people getting sick,
we saw people and heard of people dying. We didn't
know why, you know, all those things. So I think
it was very fear. I think now it's different.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Right, it is different because we understand there's a virus.
We understand how it's spread, We understand how to prevent it,
even though there are different ideas about that, but we
understand different ways.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Yeah, a lot of good idea.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
Cancel clinic.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
It was sarcastic. I'm sarcastic.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, And you know, so now
we're re engaging. So I think, like, you know, my
gap in reality is, you know, I expect people to
re emerge with a little more maybe just a little
more awareness, maybe a little more compassion with celebration. And
(06:02):
you do see that a little bit, but you also
see other behavior that's kind of intense, kind of feral.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
Kind of I think is a good word.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Yeah, that's and I get there is an element where
some people are less practiced at being out in the world.
I consider myself one of those, which is why I'm like,
you know, trying, why I'm so aware of these patterns
that other people may have adjusted to more than me.
But I'm like, do we really want to adjust to
these kind of patterns, this kind of aggress aggression that's
(06:38):
in the world. And and like you said, maybe it's
still fear, but what what are we afraid of? That's
that's kind of what's what's rolling.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Around in exactly On that note, I think we should
take a quick break and come back and let's talk
about what we're afraid of, because I think that's a
lot of.
Speaker 3 (06:55):
Things I want to hear. I want to hear what
you think, So.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Do I all right, We'll be back.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Everybody, and welcome back.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
Oh my god, I just we should actually be recording
the video part or not really my hair looks like shit,
but it's like, if people can see, it's hilarious. So
I'm sorry for the giggling coming into this segment or
I'm not really sorry, but my witch is insane. So
(07:32):
here's what I think. I think that we're afraid of.
I think there's several things, but there's other aspects added
to it. But if you think about it, the way
people got sick was from other people, yes, and I
don't think we figured out how to be that way again.
(07:55):
That a person is not my enemy. You know. I
talked a lot about this when we talked about Suzanne's
cancer and how I completely overreacted to people getting in
my space or did I I don't know, if I
don't want to judge my actions quite yet. But these
(08:16):
these people without masks, these people that were in my
space when I'm caring for my wife that at the
time we didn't know could very well have a deadly disease,
they were my enemy. And I also let them know
that in the moment. So have we for those who
(08:36):
actually believe that COVID is a real thing, because there's
still those that don't. But for the reasonable humans, you know,
have we been able to shed that, Have we been
able to shed that other humans are actually not our
enemy anymore?
Speaker 3 (08:51):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (08:51):
I mean that might still be in the nervous system,
that might still be in the nervous skins. For me personally,
I didn't have like threatening situations.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
That the whole time.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
You don't leave your house hash take real.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
But and you loved it. I mean, it's right, you'll
loved it.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
Not untrue.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
I was, but I'm not obviously not happy about the
reason why I was home all the time. But so today,
like like I said, my bandwidth is once I'm out
in the world, is my my tolerance is still low
for engagements like if something goes off the rails, I'm like, WHOA,
I got to step away because I am not a
(09:41):
place to navigate this, or I maybe maybe I don't
feel safe because I don't know what's going to happen
on the end of the navigation, like there's might be
tension that I'm not even consciously aware of in the
dialogue with whoever I'm in, Or maybe my capacity is
just so diminished because everything feels hard, like you have,
(10:02):
you know that we're still experiencing supply chain shortages and
things like, it's just.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
Harder than we're used to.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
You know, maybe I'm just spoiled or entitled in this
way that it's like I just not used to it's
got to be.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
We got to find an easier way.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
So I'm aware that my tolerance is lower than normal
for things not going according to you know, my sanctioned
plan that no one else has sanctioned, you know, no
one else is aware of. You know.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Well, I think there's also that term faral. In fact,
I said farrel earlier on the show, but you actually
said it we weren't recording, and I and I just
really was drawn to that because if you think of
what the difference between feral and domesticated is, right, it's
about socialization, right, And that's what I think we've lost.
(10:55):
And I do actually think feral is probably the best word.
It's also probably then this word we could use in
this is we need to redomesticate, redomesticate ourselves with other
humans because I actually firmly believe that we have forgotten
that we are here all together.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Because Yep, when when you think about what makes society,
it's like agreed upon interactions or politeness or practices or boundaries,
like we agree, and a lot of times those agreements
are silent. They're just reinforced with regular repeated exposure.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Yeah, we have social we have unspoken social agreements for sure.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Right, and so when you take away the gathering, do
those agreements disintegrate? Right? This is is this what's happened?
Speaker 1 (11:49):
I don't know, I really feel the feral part that
I really feel that I feel that like a feral
cat or any feral animal. But we always talk about
feral cats. You know, their goal is to stay alive
and to find food and water. Right, that's the goal.
(12:12):
That's how you say, for anything, that's how you stay alive.
And if you're domesticated, you are looking for community connection, affection, right,
like you move up.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
Well, yeah, and because food and water is provided.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
It's because you already have it exactly right. And if
you think about a feral cat, they will fight another
animal for that scrap of food, right and don't care
what happens to that other creature because that's what they're doing.
That's how we're acting well.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
And the domestic cat, the domestic cat loses, right because
the domestic doesn't doesn't know how to fight like that.
It knows how to fight because it's instinctual, but doesn't
know like I've practiced this over and over.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Right, and humans, I think what we've ended up and
in a place, and we see it play out sometimes
in households, neighborhoods, cities, you know, towns, different institutions. I
think we see it in government right now more than
we've ever seen it. We're not going to turn this political.
I mean I would like to, but I won't. But
but but you see it like around the world, it's
(13:18):
like it's literally insanity because we forgot we're all here.
We forgot that we're domesticated.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
You know.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
I think in a lot of cases that's what's happened.
The way that people talk to one another, you know, well.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
And nobody's listening, oh faith right, and of course when
someone's screaming, you can't hear them, right, when someone's attacking,
you don't actually hear them. So we have to Like
so for me, when I'm in a situation like hmm,
now what I expected, you know, like literally this goes
through my head. This is not what I expected. Okay,
(13:57):
I have to make sure for me, I have to
slow down how I speak because I tend to speak
very quickly, which can feel when if you don't know me,
could feel very aggressive, right, it could feel what you
know now it's not pleasant, And so I have I
slow down how I speak, like, let me see how
(14:18):
can we do this? You know, I try and invite
them into a you know, co solving situation, like we're
in this together, because this is not what I thought
I was getting. I understand it is what you thought
you were providing, But you know, how can we renegotiate
this and find something that works for everybody?
Speaker 3 (14:37):
You know? Like that's but.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
I I really have to downshift into RENDI spaciousness and connection,
like this is what I'm trying to create in the
situation because my goal isn't to make anyone wrong or
feel bad about themselves like it or attack when people
are so sensitive right now because I'm I'm feeling like
(14:59):
I'm conscious that my bandwidth is narrow and my tolerance
and capacity at are lower to deal with things outside
you know, the norm, but I assume the same is
for them.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
So that's you know, So.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
I totally agree with you. I totally I think that
there is that ultra sensitivity, right. And I also think
it's really interesting is I've had more strange encounters with strangers.
How we are with people that we actually don't know
(15:32):
or haven't met prior to as I think we're reckless,
and whether it's the grocery store like we talked about,
like the confrontation that people do now they come in
hot and so my practice has been to stop, drop
and roll. That's what you do when you're on fire, right, Yes,
(15:55):
and again, since I am fire and if I have
fire coming at me, right, I needed to stop, drop
and roll.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Yeah, it's funny because I can. Again, my my engagement
in the world is still small, but I can think
of three occasions where strangers did something for like one
held open the door, one picked up something that dropped
when my arms were full like and one woman and
I had this little giggle fest as the checkout, like
just little like really kind human moments together. And it's
(16:28):
it's just interesting, right, It's just interesting.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
Maybe I attract the assholes, is what you're saying.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
Well, no, no, no, it's not. Well, I'm just I'm just noticing.
But I'm also again, I'm I'm trying to very consciously
navigate when I'm out in the world, even though I've
got lots of moving through and you know, just like
everyone else, right, like I've got to keep these things moving,
but trying to create those human moments, trying to plant
those seeds of like, hey, remember our humanity, because I
(16:57):
do think we've forgotten some of our socialization and some
of our socialization standards have have dropped.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
Through the through the floor, they've dropped, you know. So
I so by tactic that I use when it's a
stranger kind of situation because I have sadly had multiple
run ins that I've never experienced in my life prior
to this, and and it's usually somebody coming in hot
and and I'll stop, this is my stop, drop and roll.
(17:28):
And what I will do is replay the moment that
just happened with some editorial and I'll say, so, we've
just met and you just said X, Y and Z.
Do you think that's okay? Like you don't even know
who I am. Like I tried it. It's like a
it's like a reflection. It's like a mirror. It's like
I just want to turn it so they can see
(17:50):
how they're acting because it's that absurd.
Speaker 3 (17:55):
What's the reaction you get?
Speaker 1 (17:57):
They kind of dumbfounded, because I the those that actually
bother the look, I think they're dumbfounded. I've had a
few apologies. I've had one guy who just kept going
on with it. I'm like, oh, dude, I just like
I'm walking away from you. You're an asshole. But it's
like that's what that's what I feel I can offer
them in that moment because I actually don't mind it
(18:17):
when somebody does it to me. I really don't, but
that's me so but I try to offer it so
they can actually see. Because the moment that somebody's able
to see and I don't do it like an asshole.
I'm like this, you know, because I can't go asshole
real fast.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
But you can also be playful really fast.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
Oh, I can't. I can't, but I try to acknowledge
the environment and world we're in and the feralness of
who we are to just let them see, right, because
if they can see, a lot of them will.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
Be like, oh, okay, yeah I did that. Yeah whoops, yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Yeah, like and then I'll look at them and for
the ones who kind of get like, do you want
to start again, I'll even tell you my name now.
But that's what a stranger I am like, right, It's
like how we want to lash out. And I think
it's the lashing out that is the part that is
so concerning that because when you lash out, like you know,
(19:18):
we've talked before, the one there's a few things I
really believe are absolutes in the world. And what I
do believe is that we treat people how we feel
about ourselves. So if this is an indication of how
the inner workings are of our citizens, the world population,
we feel pretty fucking shitty the way we're acting.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
And this is what I'm saying. We're not okay.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
People are not okay, and I just think, you know,
like I feel like that's kind of my mantra. No
one's at their best right now, So I've got to
be I have to be a plus in their day,
whatever our exchange is, because people are like dying by
ten thousand paper cuts. So I was in line someplace
and the person in front was just going in front
(20:04):
of me, was going off on the clerk, and when
I got up there, I just said, I'm so sorry
that happened. You know that their day is going to
be a lot worse than yours. I'm so sorry, you know,
And like you could just see like she's like, oh
my god, you're not going to attack me to you know,
like she was just relieved, right, I mean, because you can't.
They can't hold all that, and no one can and
no one should have to.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
And so Brenda, by the way, everybody needs to think
that if you continually treat people like that. I'm assuming
as a woman who is a clerk some show, was
it a man or a woman woman that don't be
surprised when nobody wants those jobs. Don't be surprised when
(20:47):
nobody wants to take care of you or or service
you or whatever. If that's it. Don't be surprised if
you're standing there and nobody's there to help you. Don't
that happened in the in the thick of In fact,
I think we talked about it years ago, how people
(21:07):
were treating delivery drivers like those that were uh clerks
that at registers, waiters, they were all wanting they were
all quitting because they were being treated so horribly. It's
in the continuation of that, right, It's like, for the
(21:28):
love fuck, just be nice. It's not hard.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
Well, and it's it's all karmic. It's all coming back
to you, right. I have a friend who's uh, you
know father in law is very ill and in the
hospital and you know, refuse to go to was yelling
at the doctors who saved his life and uh, refused
(21:53):
to go to rehab and doesn't have any friends to
come to care. Like it's you know, people are like,
I've I've done ten rounds with him. I'm not doing
another one, you know, like people you know, yeah, well
we lay in the bed, we make right, yeah, literally,
And it's it's so conically, it's just really interesting. So
and remember these people, whether they're not nice or not,
(22:13):
they're in pain. So you yelling at them is not
going to help bringing attention to it. Like, hey, let's
let's dance let's try and do this again because I'm
you know, I may have misspoken, you know, or whatever,
like you can role model for them what it's like
to reset. But leading with compassion, I think is always
a good idea. So let's take a break, and when
we come back, we're going to talk about some ways
(22:34):
to reset and keep in mind our humanity. And welcome
back break, Thank you.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Brenda took a nap to serve what he knows? Is
it quickie? It was like a disco nap back in
the day. Do you ever take disco naps? No?
Speaker 2 (22:58):
I was thinking I wasn't.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
She was napping, all right.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
So we are going to talk about ways to reclaim, reactivate, remember,
reconnect to your humanity at this time when things can
feel very edgy.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
So my health, yeah, I have, I will I you know.
I it's interesting because just everybody knows this was a
topic that you're like, hey, we need to talk about this.
I'm like, okay, like following along, like you get a
little elf sometimes, and and I was, and as we
(23:36):
were kind of doing our pre talk, I just said,
I go, it's so strange. And of course Berni are like, well,
what's strange? What's new actually, And I'm like, just yesterday
I was actually giving gratitude to the universe that I
was still alive. And it wasn't gratitude about you know,
a new pair of tennis shoes or like, it was
(23:59):
literally my life because I'm so glad to be here,
even when it's hard. I'm glad to be here. I'm
glad that I can learn. I'm glad that I can
spread my little elf in love wherever, whatever adience might
want it. Oh, I've hugged strangers, of course I am.
(24:22):
I should be a little bit more of a germaphobe,
but that's beside the point. But I am so grateful
to just be here. And that is probably the first
time that my gratitude because I've practiced gratitude for years
and I mean it and I feel it, and but
(24:43):
this is the first time it was ever just to
be alive and it was full stop. That was the end, Like,
I am so happy to be here. Thank you for
letting me be here. And that helps navigating I think
for me a lot of the feralness of our fellow
(25:05):
mankind humankind. So that was just that's one thing that
I just started doing literally okay yesterday.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
Yeah, just just instinctively right. And we know that gratitude
will raise your frequency. And so even if you are
in a situation that's hard, Like I've had this prayer
looking at my calendar the other day, my schedule, I
was like, I am so lucky to have all these appointments,
(25:34):
you know, like affirming this is hard in the physical,
but my spirit is so happy to be engaged in
this way. Thank you for this privilege right in this
this honor of doing this work. And both can be true.
So it's not like gratitude makes all the hard go away.
We need the challenge to grow, to expand, to expand
(26:00):
our spirit, to meet our spiritual agreements we have, Like
that's why the challenge is helpful, So be grateful for it.
How am I going to meet this challenge with grace?
How am I going to meet this challenge and bring
my best forward? And like search for it, work for it.
That's what it's all about, in the best way, right,
(26:20):
in the best way, So much to be grateful.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
For well, And I think that too. I think an
earlier point is you use the word I think you
use the word spoiled, Like are we too spoiled. And
I think that again things instinctive part of just being
grateful to be alive is the opposite of being spoiled,
(26:43):
and I think that is a big part of it.
I think that there's a lot of well, I have
the right to do this, I have the right to
tell you what. I have the right and because you
get a lot of that shit, I don't get that much, don't.
I don't get that much here in Santa Fe, to
tell the truth. But there's a lot of that that
goes out there, and that goes on out there, and
(27:06):
because they forgot right, I think so much of what's
happening now is that we've forgotten, you know, we are spoiled.
I think that, you know, you use an example again,
pre talk about, you know, somebody who hasn't been able
to travel for two years, that they will leave a
(27:26):
trail of destruction to everybody else for them to go
do their trip because they haven't been able to and
two whole years. But let me leave my destruction for
everybody else to clean the fuck up.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
And it's like, really, yeah, who said that you were
entitled to travel every year?
Speaker 1 (27:43):
Right?
Speaker 3 (27:43):
Who? Exactly?
Speaker 1 (27:44):
Right?
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Right? I mean it's just it's just interesting and to
catch yourself in these stories like oh I thought that
that should be ready when the email said it was ready. Okay,
so it's a different world. I have to embrace what
is not what was promised or what was expected, like so.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Oh we do have to wait more than we have before,
and so that that's it. So that patience.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
So this is where a mindfulness practice is really helpful.
And mindfulness is just noticing what is in the present
right It checks your expectations, It checks your your hidden agendas,
you know, like, oh, I didn't even know I expected
that until I didn't get it sort of thing, you know,
(28:32):
like oh that when you get surprised, just check in
and go, oh what was I expecting? And you know,
people who are really embracing a mindfulness practice will set
a timer that goes off every fifteen minutes. Notice what
you notice in this moment. Look around, what gets you
in the room in the present right now? What's under
your feet, what's on your feet, where's your attention, what
(28:53):
are you touching? What's the temperature, where's your breath? Where's
your mind? Fifty minutes later, the time goes off, you
do the same thing. Like it keeps you so present,
we get so caught, especially when we were disconnected from people.
We didn't have to be present, we didn't have to
be accountable.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
For our thoughts, none of it.
Speaker 3 (29:13):
We just we just spun.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
We watched a lot of television.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
We numbed out, alcohol consumption, we consumption all went through
the roof, right, And so it's almost like we are detoxing,
Like there's a there's a huge societal detoxing going on time.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
That's a good word too. Feral and detoxing are two
of the words of this show.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
Which means I gotta hydrate, gotta move your bodies. People
like if we need right, we need more awareness of
what we consume, media, alcohol, water, food, conversations, all of it,
Like what are we consuming? And you know, just try
and make conscious choices the best you can. No one's perfect,
and we're not asking for perfection, but we can do better.
(30:00):
All these practices that will help you feel better about you,
in your body, how you're engaging, We'll just raise the
frequency of whatever you're engaging, whatever you're practicing. And then
of course there's always meditation and working with crystals. And
you've heard me talk about that a thousand times.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
But that's part of the about the the the boundaries
that we need for ourselves, right and and routine, you know,
because those are those things that can keep you grounded,
keep you calmer.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
You know, well, it just it keeps it keeps you,
you know, saying you're you're in that safe zone. Those
are your guardrails to keep you in the safe zone.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
And I love guardrails. I know you never get to
say that I love guard rails. I love them.
Speaker 3 (30:50):
Yeah, you actually are.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
You get you get devoted to them, whether it's swimming
or like you you're so devoted to them, it's brilliant.
And you know, after my multiple concussions, I am even
more committed to like understanding where.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
The wearing a helmet?
Speaker 3 (31:06):
Do we're wearing a big bubble suit. Yeah, that full body.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
Bubblesuity the witch and the bubble.
Speaker 3 (31:14):
Nice.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
But I feel like, you know, part of my consciousness
is aware of what I'm getting close to the line.
I'm like, I'm close to the line, but I'm good.
You know, I'm close to the line, but I'm good.
But now my commitment is don't get anywhere near the line.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
Don't get anywhere near the line. So I'm saying no
to a lot more, which is humbling, so.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
Not pushing that, not pushing the line. Not It's like, no,
I'm gonna just have a I'm gonna have some nice,
healthy spatialness between me and that line.
Speaker 3 (31:44):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
I like that a lot.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
I was going to see how this goes. It's my
new practice. We'll see how.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
I'm gonna practice it too, then because and then we
can compare. I really like it a lot. I do.
And you know it's interesting too in this phase of
my life. I mean, I've gone through different phases where
I like to drink. Tequila was my thing back in
my forties, and I'm just kind of a I'm not
a drinker I think, which is is a choice too,
(32:15):
by the way. But it wasn't like I was an alcoholic.
It's just like just doesn't make me feel good, you know.
I just I don't want anything that actually takes me
out of who I am. And so it's it's interesting
that I've even said it's like, yeah, I don't mind
a drink here or there. Can't have the last time
I've had a drink, I don't know. That's how long
(32:36):
it's been, and that is I think that's part of
the line. It's like, why would I, Wow, I just
don't need to do that. I don't. And again that's
just for me. Everybody can make their own damn decisions.
I'm not trying to lecture holier than now crap, because
I'm the farthest lem holier than now. But it's just
one of those example. I just want to give an
example of the line of I'm not even the line
(32:58):
I first had. I'm not even close to it.
Speaker 3 (33:02):
I couldn't even find it if I had to.
Speaker 1 (33:04):
I couldn't find the line because I'm just so far
away from it and that respect, And so I was
just trying to give some context to I think what
you mean by the line, because that's how I do,
That's how I see it.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
Yeah, and for me, my my line is around over
committing right, over committing to work.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
So that's yeah, yeah, to teach me yoda, because I
taught myself. I have more things to do, more responsibilities.
But I think it's also kind of the gas that
keeps my engine going.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
Yeah, and everyone's got their own thing, right, Everyone's got
their own thing. So but again, if so, if you
feel like a mindfulness practice would be fun for you,
awesome that you can find all kinds of beautiful things
about it online. And also I strongly encourage people to
play with a boundary of three to five minutes of
(33:55):
meditation every day, just to reset, just to breathe deeply
into your body and know that you are perfect, that
you are enough. Let that be the case, and let
your like every aspect of you know it mind, body, spirit.
But that's again just say I am enough for three
to five minutes a day. It's a game changer.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
Stop dropping roll people, No, it's a principle though. What
that really is it is like, you know, take a
minute before responding to something. So I think like hopefully
if people can do this mindfulness practice daily, they don't
have to stop dropping roll. But if you do, just
like take that moment, because odds are you'll regret what
(34:41):
you're going to do and what you're going to.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
Say, and again just taking that beat. What mindfulness does,
when meditation does, what stop drop and roll does?
Speaker 3 (34:50):
It takes a beat.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
So I'm not adding fuel to the fire. I'm creating
space for the grace and and just you know, remembering
my compassion and my humanity and you know, creating an
energetic opening for this engagement to shift into a space
of compassion.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
Let's start a movement, people, because you know what part
of how things start is people will follow you. I
know if you are not behaving in the same way
everybody else is. And let's say your behavior is healthier
than the other, they'll notice well.
Speaker 2 (35:26):
And remember at a high A low vibration can't exist
in a high in the presence of a high vibration.
Speaker 3 (35:31):
Right, it will, It will entrain to you.
Speaker 2 (35:33):
Right, it'll literally you create the spaciousness you roll model,
you beam it out. You're safe here, You're not judging you.
I want to connect with you, like Yeah, it can
be a powerful experience.
Speaker 3 (35:44):
So report back to us. Let it.
Speaker 2 (35:46):
Let us know what works for you. What do you find,
what you've tried, What do you find work for you.
We'd love to hear and walk away if you have to, Yeah,
walk away, it's completely fine.
Speaker 3 (35:56):
Oh I'm going to come back.
Speaker 1 (35:57):
You gotta know, you gotta know when to hold them
and know when to full know when to walk away,
and know when to run money. There'll be time enough
for counting when the dealing is done.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
On that note, Her school is.
Speaker 1 (36:16):
Hard without Kenny Rogers and the Gambler and the Other Side.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
By y'all, thank you for joining us, everyone, and a
special thanks to our producer Joey Patt and our executive
producer Maya Cole Howard, who guides us.
Speaker 3 (36:42):
Will we guide you?
Speaker 1 (36:43):
Hit us up on Instagram at other Side Guides, or
shoot us a note at high Hi at vibes dot store.
Speaker 2 (36:51):
We want to know what you think, We want to
know what you know, and we want to hear your stories.
And remember, her school is hard without the other Side.
Insider's Guide to the Other Side is a production of iHeartRadio.
For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Spotify,
Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Welcome to Insider's Guide to the Other Side, a production
of iHeartRadio. Hi, y'all, I'm Julie.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Hi there, I'm Brenda. Welcome to Insider's Guide to the
Other Side.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Now, y'all need to know that we are obsessed with
everything on the other side.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Yes, we are, because once you learn to navigate the energetic,
or to some the invisible world, life is going to
be more fun and much more serene.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Uh heck, yes it can, because, let's be honest, for
in Earth school is hard. In fact, you taught me.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
That let's crush Earth School together.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Well, hello, my witchy food. I would ask how are you,
but I have a feeling your answer would be, we're
still not okay.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Exactly It's exactly right, my elf, my yodeling elf. You know,
lots of talents, endless, endless, Yes, yes, yes, And how
are you?
Speaker 1 (01:10):
You know? I'm actually doing pretty good. Like I'm actually okay, okay,
I like, yeah, I'm actually okay. Mostly, I mean we're
going to get into some details.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
I think we're going to get into it people.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
We're going but I think mostly, you know, yeah, I
think mostly I'm doing pretty good.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Okay, good, I'm glad to do I'm glad to hear it.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Are you mostly okay?
Speaker 2 (01:34):
I am?
Speaker 3 (01:36):
I am?
Speaker 2 (01:37):
I am doing okay. If I stay in my very
narrow bandwidth, which is where I like the you know,
when I'm in my house with my dog, I'm okay.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Well, I truly understand that.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
When I venture out into the world, it is sometimes stunning,
like I am so shocked and caught by surprise and
like wow, I mean from people driving crazy to aggression
at the grocery store.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
I was taking this same thing. I swear hand to
my mama that that I was thinking I was. I
was had a scenario in my head when I went
to our one of our grocery stores is called Smith's here,
and there was a guy who was getting ready to
run a stop sign and hit me as I was
(02:32):
walking across the whatever parking lot to go into the
grocery store. And I'm like, no, what's your hurry? I mean,
it's still going to be there. Do you need to
kill somebody? And so it's weird. I was just saying
in my head, grocery store, what is what the grocery store?
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Do you remember when there was a big push to
not text and drive where people like had to be
told not to text and drive, right.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
And they they still do f YI, but continue you.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
I was in the grocery store and I was I
turned a corner and I actually stood still as I'm
watching a guy pushing a cart texting and he was
going to hit me direct. I wasn't moving, Like I
wasn't moving and I wasn't going to move and say,
I'm going to see what this guy's gonna do. He
swerved at the last second, and like we now need
to not drive grocery carts and text at the same time.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
Right, And that wasn't even the worst or what I saw.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Like my so when so my point all this is
like just reflecting back to me. You know this this
caused me to reflect back when we first did an
episode that said, you know, people aren't okay. Right now,
they're not okay. And that was almost three years ago,
just into the barely into the pandemic.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Probably three four months or three months max. And to
the pandemic, we were like, oh, people are not okay, and.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
It was weird.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Everything turned upside down, Like you know, for a couple
of weeks, you can be shut down and like okay, Well,
this is extraordinary and we're all stepping up. But three
month a month in two and a month and halfened
like what is going on? The isolation, the freak out factor.
Going out felt dangerous and threatening, like we were not okay.
(04:24):
And then you know, being out in the world, I'm like,
we're still not okay.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
No, we are still not okay.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
It's it's just there's it's we're on a different space
of the spectrum of not okay, but it's still not okay.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
And I even think there's aspects of it that are
still fear based. But I think that we're getting far
more complex. I think one of the big reasons that
we weren't okay three years ago was there was fear.
I mean, if you had to give it a percentage,
it would be pretty high. Right. It was the unknown.
You know, none of the people alone for the most part,
(05:01):
had ever lived through a pandemic. We didn't know what
this was going to do. We saw people getting sick,
we saw people and heard of people dying. We didn't
know why, you know, all those things. So I think
it was very fear. I think now it's different.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Right, it is different because we understand there's a virus.
We understand how it's spread, We understand how to prevent it,
even though there are different ideas about that, but we
understand different ways.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Yeah, a lot of good idea.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
Cancel clinic.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
It was sarcastic. I'm sarcastic.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, And you know, so now
we're re engaging. So I think, like, you know, my
gap in reality is, you know, I expect people to
re emerge with a little more maybe just a little
more awareness, maybe a little more compassion with celebration. And
(06:02):
you do see that a little bit, but you also
see other behavior that's kind of intense, kind of feral.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
Kind of I think is a good word.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Yeah, that's and I get there is an element where
some people are less practiced at being out in the world.
I consider myself one of those, which is why I'm like,
you know, trying, why I'm so aware of these patterns
that other people may have adjusted to more than me.
But I'm like, do we really want to adjust to
these kind of patterns, this kind of aggress aggression that's
(06:38):
in the world. And and like you said, maybe it's
still fear, but what what are we afraid of? That's
that's kind of what's what's rolling.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Around in exactly On that note, I think we should
take a quick break and come back and let's talk
about what we're afraid of, because I think that's a
lot of.
Speaker 3 (06:55):
Things I want to hear. I want to hear what
you think, So.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Do I all right, We'll be back.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Everybody, and welcome back.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
Oh my god, I just we should actually be recording
the video part or not really my hair looks like shit,
but it's like, if people can see, it's hilarious. So
I'm sorry for the giggling coming into this segment or
I'm not really sorry, but my witch is insane. So
(07:32):
here's what I think. I think that we're afraid of.
I think there's several things, but there's other aspects added
to it. But if you think about it, the way
people got sick was from other people, yes, and I
don't think we figured out how to be that way again.
(07:55):
That a person is not my enemy. You know. I
talked a lot about this when we talked about Suzanne's
cancer and how I completely overreacted to people getting in
my space or did I I don't know, if I
don't want to judge my actions quite yet. But these
(08:16):
these people without masks, these people that were in my
space when I'm caring for my wife that at the
time we didn't know could very well have a deadly disease,
they were my enemy. And I also let them know
that in the moment. So have we for those who
(08:36):
actually believe that COVID is a real thing, because there's
still those that don't. But for the reasonable humans, you know,
have we been able to shed that, Have we been
able to shed that other humans are actually not our
enemy anymore?
Speaker 3 (08:51):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (08:51):
I mean that might still be in the nervous system,
that might still be in the nervous skins. For me personally,
I didn't have like threatening situations.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
That the whole time.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
You don't leave your house hash take real.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
But and you loved it. I mean, it's right, you'll
loved it.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
Not untrue.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
I was, but I'm not obviously not happy about the
reason why I was home all the time. But so today,
like like I said, my bandwidth is once I'm out
in the world, is my my tolerance is still low
for engagements like if something goes off the rails, I'm like, WHOA,
I got to step away because I am not a
(09:41):
place to navigate this, or I maybe maybe I don't
feel safe because I don't know what's going to happen
on the end of the navigation, like there's might be
tension that I'm not even consciously aware of in the
dialogue with whoever I'm in, Or maybe my capacity is
just so diminished because everything feels hard, like you have,
(10:02):
you know that we're still experiencing supply chain shortages and
things like, it's just.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
Harder than we're used to.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
You know, maybe I'm just spoiled or entitled in this
way that it's like I just not used to it's
got to be.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
We got to find an easier way.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
So I'm aware that my tolerance is lower than normal
for things not going according to you know, my sanctioned
plan that no one else has sanctioned, you know, no
one else is aware of. You know.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Well, I think there's also that term faral. In fact,
I said farrel earlier on the show, but you actually
said it we weren't recording, and I and I just
really was drawn to that because if you think of
what the difference between feral and domesticated is, right, it's
about socialization, right, And that's what I think we've lost.
(10:55):
And I do actually think feral is probably the best word.
It's also probably then this word we could use in
this is we need to redomesticate, redomesticate ourselves with other
humans because I actually firmly believe that we have forgotten
that we are here all together.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Because Yep, when when you think about what makes society,
it's like agreed upon interactions or politeness or practices or boundaries,
like we agree, and a lot of times those agreements
are silent. They're just reinforced with regular repeated exposure.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Yeah, we have social we have unspoken social agreements for sure.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Right, and so when you take away the gathering, do
those agreements disintegrate? Right? This is is this what's happened?
Speaker 1 (11:49):
I don't know, I really feel the feral part that
I really feel that I feel that like a feral
cat or any feral animal. But we always talk about
feral cats. You know, their goal is to stay alive
and to find food and water. Right, that's the goal.
(12:12):
That's how you say, for anything, that's how you stay alive.
And if you're domesticated, you are looking for community connection, affection, right,
like you move up.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
Well, yeah, and because food and water is provided.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
It's because you already have it exactly right. And if
you think about a feral cat, they will fight another
animal for that scrap of food, right and don't care
what happens to that other creature because that's what they're doing.
That's how we're acting well.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
And the domestic cat, the domestic cat loses, right because
the domestic doesn't doesn't know how to fight like that.
It knows how to fight because it's instinctual, but doesn't
know like I've practiced this over and over.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Right, and humans, I think what we've ended up and
in a place, and we see it play out sometimes
in households, neighborhoods, cities, you know, towns, different institutions. I
think we see it in government right now more than
we've ever seen it. We're not going to turn this political.
I mean I would like to, but I won't. But
but but you see it like around the world, it's
(13:18):
like it's literally insanity because we forgot we're all here.
We forgot that we're domesticated.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
You know.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
I think in a lot of cases that's what's happened.
The way that people talk to one another, you know, well.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
And nobody's listening, oh faith right, and of course when
someone's screaming, you can't hear them, right, when someone's attacking,
you don't actually hear them. So we have to Like
so for me, when I'm in a situation like hmm,
now what I expected, you know, like literally this goes
through my head. This is not what I expected. Okay,
(13:57):
I have to make sure for me, I have to
slow down how I speak because I tend to speak
very quickly, which can feel when if you don't know me,
could feel very aggressive, right, it could feel what you
know now it's not pleasant, And so I have I
slow down how I speak, like, let me see how
(14:18):
can we do this? You know, I try and invite
them into a you know, co solving situation, like we're
in this together, because this is not what I thought
I was getting. I understand it is what you thought
you were providing, But you know, how can we renegotiate
this and find something that works for everybody?
Speaker 3 (14:37):
You know? Like that's but.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
I I really have to downshift into RENDI spaciousness and connection,
like this is what I'm trying to create in the
situation because my goal isn't to make anyone wrong or
feel bad about themselves like it or attack when people
are so sensitive right now because I'm I'm feeling like
(14:59):
I'm conscious that my bandwidth is narrow and my tolerance
and capacity at are lower to deal with things outside
you know, the norm, but I assume the same is
for them.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
So that's you know, So.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
I totally agree with you. I totally I think that
there is that ultra sensitivity, right. And I also think
it's really interesting is I've had more strange encounters with strangers.
How we are with people that we actually don't know
(15:32):
or haven't met prior to as I think we're reckless,
and whether it's the grocery store like we talked about,
like the confrontation that people do now they come in
hot and so my practice has been to stop, drop
and roll. That's what you do when you're on fire, right, Yes,
(15:55):
and again, since I am fire and if I have
fire coming at me, right, I needed to stop, drop
and roll.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Yeah, it's funny because I can. Again, my my engagement
in the world is still small, but I can think
of three occasions where strangers did something for like one
held open the door, one picked up something that dropped
when my arms were full like and one woman and
I had this little giggle fest as the checkout, like
just little like really kind human moments together. And it's
(16:28):
it's just interesting, right, It's just interesting.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
Maybe I attract the assholes, is what you're saying.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
Well, no, no, no, it's not. Well, I'm just I'm just noticing.
But I'm also again, I'm I'm trying to very consciously
navigate when I'm out in the world, even though I've
got lots of moving through and you know, just like
everyone else, right, like I've got to keep these things moving,
but trying to create those human moments, trying to plant
those seeds of like, hey, remember our humanity, because I
(16:57):
do think we've forgotten some of our socialization and some
of our socialization standards have have dropped.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
Through the through the floor, they've dropped, you know. So
I so by tactic that I use when it's a
stranger kind of situation because I have sadly had multiple
run ins that I've never experienced in my life prior
to this, and and it's usually somebody coming in hot
and and I'll stop, this is my stop, drop and roll.
(17:28):
And what I will do is replay the moment that
just happened with some editorial and I'll say, so, we've
just met and you just said X, Y and Z.
Do you think that's okay? Like you don't even know
who I am. Like I tried it. It's like a
it's like a reflection. It's like a mirror. It's like
I just want to turn it so they can see
(17:50):
how they're acting because it's that absurd.
Speaker 3 (17:55):
What's the reaction you get?
Speaker 1 (17:57):
They kind of dumbfounded, because I the those that actually
bother the look, I think they're dumbfounded. I've had a
few apologies. I've had one guy who just kept going
on with it. I'm like, oh, dude, I just like
I'm walking away from you. You're an asshole. But it's
like that's what that's what I feel I can offer
them in that moment because I actually don't mind it
(18:17):
when somebody does it to me. I really don't, but
that's me so but I try to offer it so
they can actually see. Because the moment that somebody's able
to see and I don't do it like an asshole.
I'm like this, you know, because I can't go asshole
real fast.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
But you can also be playful really fast.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
Oh, I can't. I can't, but I try to acknowledge
the environment and world we're in and the feralness of
who we are to just let them see, right, because
if they can see, a lot of them will.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
Be like, oh, okay, yeah I did that. Yeah whoops, yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Yeah, like and then I'll look at them and for
the ones who kind of get like, do you want
to start again, I'll even tell you my name now.
But that's what a stranger I am like, right, It's
like how we want to lash out. And I think
it's the lashing out that is the part that is
so concerning that because when you lash out, like you know,
(19:18):
we've talked before, the one there's a few things I
really believe are absolutes in the world. And what I
do believe is that we treat people how we feel
about ourselves. So if this is an indication of how
the inner workings are of our citizens, the world population,
we feel pretty fucking shitty the way we're acting.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
And this is what I'm saying. We're not okay.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
People are not okay, and I just think, you know,
like I feel like that's kind of my mantra. No
one's at their best right now, So I've got to
be I have to be a plus in their day,
whatever our exchange is, because people are like dying by
ten thousand paper cuts. So I was in line someplace
and the person in front was just going in front
(20:04):
of me, was going off on the clerk, and when
I got up there, I just said, I'm so sorry
that happened. You know that their day is going to
be a lot worse than yours. I'm so sorry, you know,
And like you could just see like she's like, oh
my god, you're not going to attack me to you know,
like she was just relieved, right, I mean, because you can't.
They can't hold all that, and no one can and
no one should have to.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
And so Brenda, by the way, everybody needs to think
that if you continually treat people like that. I'm assuming
as a woman who is a clerk some show, was
it a man or a woman woman that don't be
surprised when nobody wants those jobs. Don't be surprised when
(20:47):
nobody wants to take care of you or or service
you or whatever. If that's it. Don't be surprised if
you're standing there and nobody's there to help you. Don't
that happened in the in the thick of In fact,
I think we talked about it years ago, how people
(21:07):
were treating delivery drivers like those that were uh clerks
that at registers, waiters, they were all wanting they were
all quitting because they were being treated so horribly. It's
in the continuation of that, right, It's like, for the
(21:28):
love fuck, just be nice. It's not hard.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
Well, and it's it's all karmic. It's all coming back
to you, right. I have a friend who's uh, you
know father in law is very ill and in the
hospital and you know, refuse to go to was yelling
at the doctors who saved his life and uh, refused
(21:53):
to go to rehab and doesn't have any friends to
come to care. Like it's you know, people are like,
I've I've done ten rounds with him. I'm not doing
another one, you know, like people you know, yeah, well
we lay in the bed, we make right, yeah, literally,
And it's it's so conically, it's just really interesting. So
and remember these people, whether they're not nice or not,
(22:13):
they're in pain. So you yelling at them is not
going to help bringing attention to it. Like, hey, let's
let's dance let's try and do this again because I'm
you know, I may have misspoken, you know, or whatever,
like you can role model for them what it's like
to reset. But leading with compassion, I think is always
a good idea. So let's take a break, and when
we come back, we're going to talk about some ways
(22:34):
to reset and keep in mind our humanity. And welcome
back break, Thank you.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Brenda took a nap to serve what he knows? Is
it quickie? It was like a disco nap back in
the day. Do you ever take disco naps? No?
Speaker 2 (22:58):
I was thinking I wasn't.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
She was napping, all right.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
So we are going to talk about ways to reclaim, reactivate, remember,
reconnect to your humanity at this time when things can
feel very edgy.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
So my health, yeah, I have, I will I you know.
I it's interesting because just everybody knows this was a
topic that you're like, hey, we need to talk about this.
I'm like, okay, like following along, like you get a
little elf sometimes, and and I was, and as we
(23:36):
were kind of doing our pre talk, I just said,
I go, it's so strange. And of course Berni are like, well,
what's strange? What's new actually, And I'm like, just yesterday
I was actually giving gratitude to the universe that I
was still alive. And it wasn't gratitude about you know,
a new pair of tennis shoes or like, it was
(23:59):
literally my life because I'm so glad to be here,
even when it's hard. I'm glad to be here. I'm
glad that I can learn. I'm glad that I can
spread my little elf in love wherever, whatever adience might
want it. Oh, I've hugged strangers, of course I am.
(24:22):
I should be a little bit more of a germaphobe,
but that's beside the point. But I am so grateful
to just be here. And that is probably the first
time that my gratitude because I've practiced gratitude for years
and I mean it and I feel it, and but
(24:43):
this is the first time it was ever just to
be alive and it was full stop. That was the end, Like,
I am so happy to be here. Thank you for
letting me be here. And that helps navigating I think
for me a lot of the feralness of our fellow
(25:05):
mankind humankind. So that was just that's one thing that
I just started doing literally okay yesterday.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
Yeah, just just instinctively right. And we know that gratitude
will raise your frequency. And so even if you are
in a situation that's hard, Like I've had this prayer
looking at my calendar the other day, my schedule, I
was like, I am so lucky to have all these appointments,
(25:34):
you know, like affirming this is hard in the physical,
but my spirit is so happy to be engaged in
this way. Thank you for this privilege right in this
this honor of doing this work. And both can be true.
So it's not like gratitude makes all the hard go away.
We need the challenge to grow, to expand, to expand
(26:00):
our spirit, to meet our spiritual agreements we have, Like
that's why the challenge is helpful, So be grateful for it.
How am I going to meet this challenge with grace?
How am I going to meet this challenge and bring
my best forward? And like search for it, work for it.
That's what it's all about, in the best way, right,
(26:20):
in the best way, So much to be grateful.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
For well, And I think that too. I think an
earlier point is you use the word I think you
use the word spoiled, Like are we too spoiled. And
I think that again things instinctive part of just being
grateful to be alive is the opposite of being spoiled,
(26:43):
and I think that is a big part of it.
I think that there's a lot of well, I have
the right to do this, I have the right to
tell you what. I have the right and because you
get a lot of that shit, I don't get that much, don't.
I don't get that much here in Santa Fe, to
tell the truth. But there's a lot of that that
goes out there, and that goes on out there, and
(27:06):
because they forgot right, I think so much of what's
happening now is that we've forgotten, you know, we are spoiled.
I think that, you know, you use an example again,
pre talk about, you know, somebody who hasn't been able
to travel for two years, that they will leave a
(27:26):
trail of destruction to everybody else for them to go
do their trip because they haven't been able to and
two whole years. But let me leave my destruction for
everybody else to clean the fuck up.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
And it's like, really, yeah, who said that you were
entitled to travel every year?
Speaker 1 (27:43):
Right?
Speaker 3 (27:43):
Who? Exactly?
Speaker 1 (27:44):
Right?
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Right? I mean it's just it's just interesting and to
catch yourself in these stories like oh I thought that
that should be ready when the email said it was ready. Okay,
so it's a different world. I have to embrace what
is not what was promised or what was expected, like so.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Oh we do have to wait more than we have before,
and so that that's it. So that patience.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
So this is where a mindfulness practice is really helpful.
And mindfulness is just noticing what is in the present
right It checks your expectations, It checks your your hidden agendas,
you know, like, oh, I didn't even know I expected
that until I didn't get it sort of thing, you know,
(28:32):
like oh that when you get surprised, just check in
and go, oh what was I expecting? And you know,
people who are really embracing a mindfulness practice will set
a timer that goes off every fifteen minutes. Notice what
you notice in this moment. Look around, what gets you
in the room in the present right now? What's under
your feet, what's on your feet, where's your attention, what
(28:53):
are you touching? What's the temperature, where's your breath? Where's
your mind? Fifty minutes later, the time goes off, you
do the same thing. Like it keeps you so present,
we get so caught, especially when we were disconnected from people.
We didn't have to be present, we didn't have to
be accountable.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
For our thoughts, none of it.
Speaker 3 (29:13):
We just we just spun.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
We watched a lot of television.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
We numbed out, alcohol consumption, we consumption all went through
the roof, right, And so it's almost like we are detoxing,
Like there's a there's a huge societal detoxing going on time.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
That's a good word too. Feral and detoxing are two
of the words of this show.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
Which means I gotta hydrate, gotta move your bodies. People
like if we need right, we need more awareness of
what we consume, media, alcohol, water, food, conversations, all of it,
Like what are we consuming? And you know, just try
and make conscious choices the best you can. No one's perfect,
and we're not asking for perfection, but we can do better.
(30:00):
All these practices that will help you feel better about you,
in your body, how you're engaging, We'll just raise the
frequency of whatever you're engaging, whatever you're practicing. And then
of course there's always meditation and working with crystals. And
you've heard me talk about that a thousand times.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
But that's part of the about the the the boundaries
that we need for ourselves, right and and routine, you know,
because those are those things that can keep you grounded,
keep you calmer.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
You know, well, it just it keeps it keeps you,
you know, saying you're you're in that safe zone. Those
are your guardrails to keep you in the safe zone.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
And I love guardrails. I know you never get to
say that I love guard rails. I love them.
Speaker 3 (30:50):
Yeah, you actually are.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
You get you get devoted to them, whether it's swimming
or like you you're so devoted to them, it's brilliant.
And you know, after my multiple concussions, I am even
more committed to like understanding where.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
The wearing a helmet?
Speaker 3 (31:06):
Do we're wearing a big bubble suit. Yeah, that full body.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
Bubblesuity the witch and the bubble.
Speaker 3 (31:14):
Nice.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
But I feel like, you know, part of my consciousness
is aware of what I'm getting close to the line.
I'm like, I'm close to the line, but I'm good.
You know, I'm close to the line, but I'm good.
But now my commitment is don't get anywhere near the line.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
Don't get anywhere near the line. So I'm saying no
to a lot more, which is humbling, so.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
Not pushing that, not pushing the line. Not It's like, no,
I'm gonna just have a I'm gonna have some nice,
healthy spatialness between me and that line.
Speaker 3 (31:44):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
I like that a lot.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
I was going to see how this goes. It's my
new practice. We'll see how.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
I'm gonna practice it too, then because and then we
can compare. I really like it a lot. I do.
And you know it's interesting too in this phase of
my life. I mean, I've gone through different phases where
I like to drink. Tequila was my thing back in
my forties, and I'm just kind of a I'm not
a drinker I think, which is is a choice too,
(32:15):
by the way. But it wasn't like I was an alcoholic.
It's just like just doesn't make me feel good, you know.
I just I don't want anything that actually takes me
out of who I am. And so it's it's interesting
that I've even said it's like, yeah, I don't mind
a drink here or there. Can't have the last time
I've had a drink, I don't know. That's how long
(32:36):
it's been, and that is I think that's part of
the line. It's like, why would I, Wow, I just
don't need to do that. I don't. And again that's
just for me. Everybody can make their own damn decisions.
I'm not trying to lecture holier than now crap, because
I'm the farthest lem holier than now. But it's just
one of those example. I just want to give an
example of the line of I'm not even the line
(32:58):
I first had. I'm not even close to it.
Speaker 3 (33:02):
I couldn't even find it if I had to.
Speaker 1 (33:04):
I couldn't find the line because I'm just so far
away from it and that respect, And so I was
just trying to give some context to I think what
you mean by the line, because that's how I do,
That's how I see it.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
Yeah, and for me, my my line is around over
committing right, over committing to work.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
So that's yeah, yeah, to teach me yoda, because I
taught myself. I have more things to do, more responsibilities.
But I think it's also kind of the gas that
keeps my engine going.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
Yeah, and everyone's got their own thing, right, Everyone's got
their own thing. So but again, if so, if you
feel like a mindfulness practice would be fun for you,
awesome that you can find all kinds of beautiful things
about it online. And also I strongly encourage people to
play with a boundary of three to five minutes of
(33:55):
meditation every day, just to reset, just to breathe deeply
into your body and know that you are perfect, that
you are enough. Let that be the case, and let
your like every aspect of you know it mind, body, spirit.
But that's again just say I am enough for three
to five minutes a day. It's a game changer.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
Stop dropping roll people, No, it's a principle though. What
that really is it is like, you know, take a
minute before responding to something. So I think like hopefully
if people can do this mindfulness practice daily, they don't
have to stop dropping roll. But if you do, just
like take that moment, because odds are you'll regret what
(34:41):
you're going to do and what you're going to.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
Say, and again just taking that beat. What mindfulness does,
when meditation does, what stop drop and roll does?
Speaker 3 (34:50):
It takes a beat.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
So I'm not adding fuel to the fire. I'm creating
space for the grace and and just you know, remembering
my compassion and my humanity and you know, creating an
energetic opening for this engagement to shift into a space
of compassion.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
Let's start a movement, people, because you know what part
of how things start is people will follow you. I
know if you are not behaving in the same way
everybody else is. And let's say your behavior is healthier
than the other, they'll notice well.
Speaker 2 (35:26):
And remember at a high A low vibration can't exist
in a high in the presence of a high vibration.
Speaker 3 (35:31):
Right, it will, It will entrain to you.
Speaker 2 (35:33):
Right, it'll literally you create the spaciousness you roll model,
you beam it out. You're safe here, You're not judging you.
I want to connect with you, like Yeah, it can
be a powerful experience.
Speaker 3 (35:44):
So report back to us. Let it.
Speaker 2 (35:46):
Let us know what works for you. What do you find,
what you've tried, What do you find work for you.
We'd love to hear and walk away if you have to, Yeah,
walk away, it's completely fine.
Speaker 3 (35:56):
Oh I'm going to come back.
Speaker 1 (35:57):
You gotta know, you gotta know when to hold them
and know when to full know when to walk away,
and know when to run money. There'll be time enough
for counting when the dealing is done.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
On that note, Her school is.
Speaker 1 (36:16):
Hard without Kenny Rogers and the Gambler and the Other Side.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
By y'all, thank you for joining us, everyone, and a
special thanks to our producer Joey Patt and our executive
producer Maya Cole Howard, who guides us.
Speaker 3 (36:42):
Will we guide you?
Speaker 1 (36:43):
Hit us up on Instagram at other Side Guides, or
shoot us a note at high Hi at vibes dot store.
Speaker 2 (36:51):
We want to know what you think, We want to
know what you know, and we want to hear your stories.
And remember, her school is hard without the other Side.
Insider's Guide to the Other Side is a production of iHeartRadio.
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