June 22, 2022 • 34 mins
Here on Earth School, family can teach us the most beautiful lessons, and the most challenging ones. One thing to consider is: How do you see and define 'family'?
Through conversation prompted by the passing of a loved one, Brenda and Julie explore: family of choice versus family of blood, what occurs during the birth and death cycles, and choices made that affect both, and how to cultivate stronger relationships with those around you—no matter how they became part of your family.
From the process of reincarnation to the reality of life on this planet, your Spiritual Family provides the opportunity for expanding your open-hearted energetic space. How can you honor this connection and experience the deep love you are here to express and receive? Tune in today to find out.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Insider's Guide to the Other Side, a production
of My Heart Radio. Hi, y'all, I'm Julie. Hi there,
I'm Brenda. Welcome to Insider's Guide to the Other Side. Now,
y'all need to know that we are obsessed with everything
on the other side. Yes, we are, because once you
(00:22):
learn to navigate the energetic, or to some the invisible world,
life is going to be more fun and much more serene. Heck,
yes it can, because, let's be honest, Brian, earth school
is hard. In fact, you taught me that, let's crush
Earth School together. Well, hello, my witchy pooh, how are you?
(00:44):
I'm again I got you in the ether totally do
you totally do? Oh my god, how are you Mail?
I'm doing great? You know, I um. I went and
watched Dr Strange Ange in the theater um Saturday and Sunday.
(01:05):
I know, well, a girl's just got to study. I mean,
I needed to spend time with it. I needed to see, like,
what are they trying to tell us? You know, don't
get wrapped up in all the special effects, Julie, second
time around? Right, first time, I get all wrapped up
in it. Right, second time around, I'm like, what's the story?
What are they telling us here? Um? I encourage everyone
(01:25):
to go see it. It It actually did almost two hundred
million it's opening weekend, which is really fantastic. Um. It's
I think probably the biggest hit we've had since the pandemics.
So that was really exciting. So yeah, I said in
the theater, yea exciting a mule levels. I know. Oh
my god, I've missed it so much. That's great, that's great. Yeah.
And the other thing that I have missed I think
(01:47):
many of us have missed, which is really a big
our topic today, which is family yep, and the pandemic.
Lots of lots of news, lots lots of newness, and
lots of opportunity, you know. I mean I think every
day is opportunity, right, I think that's fair to say.
And Um, we had a big event happened in my
(02:09):
family that really had me thinking about what does family mean?
From very much a spiritual standpoint. Um, some people, especially
in Arkansas, family means well, work in the fields, or
they usually marry each other, so it means more generations.
(02:30):
That was my terrible joke on Arkansas. Um. But but
even though I am in Arkansas, Um to this now
I am. Actually we are not in Florida right now,
but um, we had a big event happened that that
really had me rethink and I came to conclusions that
I had actually never come to before. Um, I think
(02:51):
I've like waited. I'm like a late bloomer. You know,
you don't like those young girls or young boys and
they still a kind of dorky in high school, but
then when they're in college, like they kind of like
feel in and they're called late bloomers. I think I'm
a spiritual late bloomer. It's like, all of a sudden,
all these things are coming to me in my fifties. Uh,
that's kind of where I am. But it's a beautiful thing.
You know. Some people don't don't even get that any
(03:12):
at any time during there. Yeah, so you know, I'm
I'm blooming, just late blooming. Um. But my cousin Rob,
who is actually quite a bit older than me, from
a contemporary cousin standpoint um twelve years and three days
to be exact, His wife jumped a few weeks ago.
(03:38):
His wife Karen, who was fifty seven at the time,
and really really it was like, you know what you
can when something is painful yet glorious, right yeah. I mean,
if we're lucky, those two things coexist at the same time,
right yeah. And that's what it felt like. I fell
(04:00):
the pain of not having Karen around. And really my
pain was more for my cousin because they've been together
since honestly, I was in high school. I remember her
meeting her at my aunt and uncle's house and Oatmongy, Oklahoma,
back in mid eighties. You know, they've been dating. They
(04:21):
got married in and so my pain was for him
because she's all he knows, and she left young and
left young. Um, so you know, there was a lot
of a lot of reflection on that and and but
the big reflection was when I was on my way
to the grave site. By the way, Christians have a
(04:44):
lot of pomp and circumstance around death. I mean, holy
sh it, I mean, from the food to the gatherings
to want to boom boom, boom boom. I mean it was,
it was. It was pretty intense. But on the way
you didn't see it coming, No, No, I didn't. Actually,
it's great because if when you grew up in that tradition,
(05:05):
it's all very comforting because you know, all those traditions
will be there when it's your time to say goodbye, right,
and then they guide you. Oh. I think it was
incredibly helpful for people who were there. I mean, whether
it was in the viewing which was on a Friday
night at the church that they that Karen hadited and
since she was a child, oh my gosh, and the
(05:27):
one where my cousin had been a preacher, you know.
So it's yes, this is my family everyone for those
that are not sitting down, um. But I will say
that I had said to you Brenda before we even started,
is that I love my cousin and there is nothing
that will change my mind. There is nothing, there's absolutely nothing.
I love him and I have always loved him and
(05:47):
I always will love him. It does not matter that
we don't see eye to eye on the way the
world should operate. And it sounds like it's mutual, like
he is mutual. You couldn't care less like your family,
your family, your mind, exactly right, your mind. But was
interesting is my kind of Aha, wasn't about my cousin
Because I've been very clear, always clear how I feel
(06:08):
about him and he and I've actually talked about our differences.
It's actually about his wife, Karen, and Karen was she
was a school teacher. Um taught fourth grade in Farmington, Arkansas.
Very loved. I mean, hundreds and hundreds of people went
to the viewing. Hundreds they kept filing in. Yeah, those teachers,
they touched so many, such a such an exquisite threshold
(06:32):
that people cross every year, right, like, oh my gosh,
shooting by these teachers, right, And this woman was loved,
loved the people that I saw just like filing through
this church. And my poor cousin Rob, he could not bear.
They had an open casket, which, by the way, is
the first I've ever seen a dead body. For the record,
(06:54):
I've had a lot of people, never saw one, never
wanted to. It was a bit of an exit. She
looked great though they didn't great job. But um, so
it's an open casket. My cousin had not seen her
yet in that state. So he's back at the back
of the church and it's his son and his son's
wife that are both in their early twenties that are
there greeting everyone. And they were so impressive, like they
were handling it. And but I see all the and
(07:15):
I'm not kidding. Hundreds were. At one point I reached
up to Ben, his son, and said, then I think
I need to go, And I said, I don't want to,
but I think I need you because well, how come?
And I said, I think I need to frege up
a parking spot because there's there was that many people, right, so,
all these people are filing through, and I'm really like
sitting there, like sitting very quietly, which is odd, sitting
(07:37):
there and you know, listening and just kind of feeling
and of course I'm staring at you know, Karen dead
Karen body, waiting for her to wake up and like
kind of wink at me, you know, or something she
didn't um and just really with her. And what I
thought about was such a big lesson to me. And
it was this issue of what family means. And you know, Karen,
(08:00):
like we say, there's my mom on one side of
the spectrum and my mother. I was on this planet
to be her little number two. I was from any me.
There was no question. It was never a hard relationship.
It was amazing. And then those other people that are
very hard to get along with. Right then, I was
thinking about Karen by marriage obviously, family um I would
have never met Karen if not for my cousin. Karen
(08:22):
isn't somebody that I would have ever run into, and
not I wouldn't have been you know. It's just we
don't run the same crowds. She's not gay, um hang
out together. Well, we do have a club, um, And
I just I would have never we don't have kids,
would have never seen her in school, you know. But
(08:44):
I am so incredibly grateful to have actually had her
in my life because she was this kind, kind soul,
always smiling, always helpful, considerate to everyone, and unlike anybody
else in my family. By the way, which is probably
(09:05):
why I think so highly give her, is that she
wasn't she was an alien in my family. We weren't
really the nicest people in the world, and she was
this kindness. And I'm so grateful that my cousin brought
her in because I realized that family doesn't just have
to be with who you identify with, and that it's
(09:27):
easy that, you know, family can teach us lessons, can
teach us, you know, of what we don't see in
the mirror, or what we'd like to see in the mirror,
you know, like when I watch all those people filing in.
I went home and told Susanne because she's still a
little COVID nervous. Um. When home and told Susanne, and
I said, Honey, I don't know that many people much
ass that many people showing up to my funeral. I'm like,
(09:49):
I just that is not my world. It's her world,
but that is certainly not mine. And I am just
so glad to have been a part of it, and
to know someone that so many people would take a
shower and dress up ish gets the Arkansas I look
the best for the record, and we know how I
dress um. And it just wasn't anything that I had
(10:12):
really experienced. Was like a whole community literally showing up.
So I just thought about what family is and how
to look at it and maybe sometimes look at a
little bit differently. Yeah, And and the value of hanging
with and appreciating or learning how to connect to people
who are so different than you. Right when you know,
especially when marriage expands the family, it's it's hard on
(10:36):
the people coming in, and it's hard sometimes for the
family members, like how how do we embrace that that's different?
We don't agree to that, right, right? You don't get
to vote who people love, and so you don't. It's
not it's not a democracy right right now, but it is.
It's not a democracy. And you know it's funny because
(10:59):
I was telling job my cousin Rob that we were
talking about Karen, and I said, did she ever tell
you that when I called her her advice or help
in eighteen? And he goes, no, she didn't tell me.
I said, oh, he goes, what what now? He's like, all, what? What? What?
And I said, you know we should hold that. Oh
(11:19):
were the cliff hang it? I love it. You go, girl,
We'll be right back. Good move, and welcome back from
our cliffhanger. But I think people are probably laughing at
(11:42):
cliffhanger sore, like what the hell they think? That's the cliffhanger.
It was more of an interruption. But how we entertain
ourselves totally copped to that. So why why did why
did you called you natural? Why didn't do you call Karen? Yeah,
hind your cousin's back, Well I did because I was
(12:03):
I was afraid, um, which isn't a word I used,
ry what were you afraid of? Um? I was afraid
of my book coming out and not have I don't know,
greasing the skids a little bit, because you know they
are they are deeply conservative in their views in the world,
and they are deeply religious in their views in the world.
(12:26):
And um, I wanted to just kind of prep Karen
for Rob. And so I called her and I said,
you know, I hate Karen kind of thing. And I said,
do I have a book coming out? She's like, oh,
you do, like because I didn't. They didn't know that either.
And I told her what it was. I said, I go,
I beg you not to judge until I'm finished, and
(12:49):
I started talking to her about the title, and um,
and I really ended it with I just I just
want to ask for your help and want to ask
for your help to when you talk to Rob about this,
just to let him know that we both believe in God.
We just got their different ways and I and I
(13:10):
just like I wanted him to know that piece of
it and so the rest of it wouldn't scare him
or turn him off or turn him away or whatever
it may be. And it maybe it would have never
done that, but it was my fear. Yeah. And and
that's legit because you've had that feedback before, right where
some people will start backing away from you for whatever reason,
(13:31):
and you you care about your cousin, so I very
much I get that. I wanted to to make sure
it was okay. And I'm sure she was lovely amazing. Yeah,
she was absolutely positively amazing about it. So family, right,
Like I went to her when I was in distress
(13:52):
about that particular issue. It was her that I went
to um. And so Rob actually he loved it, you know,
I mean he and I know he read it because
he called me and he talked to me about it
and and all of that. I'm sure he didn't tell
me every opinion that he had, which is okay because
I don't think I wanted to hear everything that he had,
because I don't give him every opinion I have about
his church. So we are very very respectful to one another.
(14:15):
It's perfect. It's perfect. And what m even just you
reaching out to her is very gracious, right. It's you're
taking care of Rob in this way, right and and
wanting to makes maintain the connection. And and the thing is,
no one can read that book without you know, no one.
(14:35):
It's a love letter to your to your mom. And
of course I'm sure he adored her. Yeah, he actually
spoke at her service. My oh brand it was he
was amazing because he's such an amazing speaker, amazing in
front of a group. He's he's also very funny. Oh
he's so funny. No, for real, he is so funny.
(14:59):
So I think this whole topic family, Um, there's also
family that I want nothing to do with. And that's
okay too, right, because I've gone through that exercise of
where do I connect, where do I not connect? Where?
You know? But being open is is to me the
(15:21):
most important part. And then you instead of because I
would normally be a little close off, and it's like, oh,
you want to judge me, You want to judge what
I do, how I live, who I'm married to? Fuck you,
I mean, that's who's kind of mymo. Then I'm still
you are a warrior for love. Seriously, seriously, it's totally true.
(15:46):
But I think that you know, it's okay to um
to not have to interact, right, Like I just told
the story of having somebody brought into the family that
I was. I mean virtually nothing in common with truly,
nothing like nothing on paper, so to speak. Right, there's
like absolutely nothing and I had so much respect and
(16:12):
love for her Um, someone who I would have never met,
and so I'm really grateful for that having some of
the family that was so incredibly different than me. But
I also know there are people who are really different,
and I think that kind of the the line for
me is if somebody is a real asshole, then I'm
out and seeing she was not an asshole. She's very, very,
(16:34):
very kind. In fact, I'm the asshole she could have
cut out to be perfectly frank in the relationship. I mean,
I can't lie except her husband adored you. Except rough
right right right, right right. It doesn't sound like it
was quite their way to cut people out. No, no,
and and and my cousin absolutely was crazy about my mother.
(16:55):
I'm not sure that he knows that mom had an abortion.
Um the because this day and age, that is certainly
something that is triggering to a lot of people. I
know I've talked about it before, but I'll say it again.
I think I even put it on face. I don't know,
not on Facebook. I quit Facebook on Instagram yesterday for
Mother's Day. Is um I would not be here if
(17:17):
she did not have an illegal abortion. Do you wanna
do you want to unpack that for people a little bit.
Unpack it that I wouldn't be here. She didn't have
a legal abortion. Um. Yeah, Mom was dating a man
named Bill Mount. I'm gonna say everybody's name because they're
all dead and they didn't give a ship. Um, so
she was dating a guy named Bill Mount. And and
(17:39):
my mom, just for the record, she was a good
looking woman. I mean she was, Seriously, she was a
fine looking woman. And she was like Catinet two men
when she was like in that day, so she could
pretty much have whoever she wanted. I'm just being really honest.
I know she's my mom, but whatever what ebbs, that's
who she was. And she would attract actually quite rich men.
(18:02):
And Bill was an oil guy and a wealthy guy.
And Mom got pregnant when she it was probably even
the early sixties, late fifties. So Rovie Wade with seventy
three so right, and because he had means, he paid
for a safe abortion for Mom. Because it's not what
(18:25):
either one of them wanted or needed in their life
at the time, and it's certainly not what Mom wanted.
I mean, Mom, lady, here's the great news. Mom was
so open with me about all this stuff like there
was she didn't stutter once, she didn't apologize. She there
was no shame associated to it. You know, it's amazing
right there? Oh my god? Yeah? Why yes, not a
(18:47):
not an ounce. It's like she lived her life right,
and she made her decisions and she wasn't going to
be apologetic to anybody for them, including her daughter, need
answer to anyone, right, And because she wanted she wanted
a family just she wanted to be married and have
a family is what she wanted, not like that, right,
And so if she would not have had that abortion,
(19:10):
her life would have been I mean drastically different, right,
drastically different. So we talk about family, right, and we
talked about the spiritual side of family. There's nothing more
spiritual than being in line and actually being able to
come in right, Like I know that Mom and I
had an agreement long before either one of us were
(19:32):
on this planet, let's go around, and there was no
stopping me from coming in. And I have often wondered
would I have gone in through that body? And my
answer I keep getting was no, I don't think it
was ever meant to be. Yeah, And and you know
what we know is that when spirits get assigned, you
(19:53):
know embryo, right, when when they get assigned, they have
an experience. They have a so will expanding experience. Even
if they don't come to fruition like you know, if
it's a natural miscarriage or induced abortion, like it doesn't
like they that spirits soul still advances in some way,
(20:17):
shape or form, so they get something from the experience
even if they don't come in to a traditional manifestation.
M So, I don't think that was made. That's probably
why is that well, And the reason I pointed out
is because then you wouldn't that soul would not have
been able to reincarnate so quickly. That's my point, right,
Oh got it? Got it interesting because it was probably
(20:40):
minimum ten years later that I came around. Um So,
I look at everything that's happening in the world, and
I'm hearing all these points of views, and it's not
that I it's hard for me to disagree with either side,
to be really honest, like, I understand there's people that
you know, save the babies, but we're like, Okay, I
at it, I understand it, but it's none of your
(21:02):
fucking business what my mother did. I'm making it everybody's
business by talking about it, because because you because because
you don't actually hear from grown ass adults like myself
that say, I know I'm here as a result of
a previous abortion. I am, And I had no qualms
saying the A word because I was like, oh, yeah,
(21:22):
we like cancer, don't say abortion like abortion, abortion abortion,
It is what it is. And um, because you mainly
hear from women who had them, right, like, those are
the stories that we typically here. And so I've been
talking to whoever will listen. It's like I am a product,
like I'm here because my mama had an abortion. Folks.
So if you hate me and you don't you think
(21:44):
I should be gone, well a fuck you, But be
I don't care because I am here, and I was
here because I was supposed to be here, and I
was here because my mom had to go through a
lot of ship for me to get here, you know.
And with that, we're going to take another break. No,
there's no cliffhanger on that one. We'll be right back. Okay,
(22:10):
I'm bringing us back. And I just promised Brenda and
the Break that I will not finish this episode by
going with the ship. I don't care. They can funk off.
I know that's not always helpful. It's entertaining, but it's
not always helpful. And so I'm gonna like kick it
over to my witchy poo to actually, you know, bring
it into that spiritual plane again. What I think is
is so lovely is how you you know, open this
(22:35):
conversation with Karen being family, right, and family of choice
is so important. It's not you know, this exclusive family
of blood that is so apparent to us, and it's
obvious for good batter and different um. But you know,
we definitely identify with our family or biological family, but
(22:57):
we reincarnate in groups. Right. So the people, you know,
the people that you recognize, the people that the first
time you meet them, you're just like, oh my god.
Like the first time I met Ruben, you know, and
then the second time I met him, uh, he moved in. Right.
That's that's a family of choice, Like, these are people
that we know from other times and um and of
(23:18):
course Reuben is our mutual friend, um. So, but it's
it's this recognition of souls that we know and that
we count on um and and so I just invite
people to challenge yourself to say who is my family
of choice? Like who's my familiar people that I just
have that special spark with And it doesn't matter if
(23:40):
I barely know them or I see them once every
ten years, Like who are those people? And just poke
around in your heart, reach out to them in an
unexpected way and try and cultivate that that recognition reclaimed,
that sacred space of the hearts that says, no, you're
my people, you know and I and I recognize you,
(24:03):
and yeah, maybe we didn't come from the same bloodline,
but we're in the same spiritual family for sure. And
sometimes it's someone at work. Sometimes it's you know, someone
you know from school or something like that. But you know,
there's there are those people that you just have an
understanding and just not honor it by claiming that and
making it special and carving out special time for that,
(24:26):
just like you would almost have a family obligation, but
it's it's not laid out for you, like family you
see at holidays or you see at whatever situations your
families gathers like many cases relundedly like sometimes almost resent you,
like how ship, I don't want to go this in hours?
Like of whatever it is UM. But if you can
(24:48):
do that, you know, with with great intention to your
family of choice that's obvious to you or that you're
even curious about, it can be really nice and you
can find such a special gift there. And sometimes I think,
can you tell me if I'm mistaken on this is?
Sometimes the spiritual family that we reincarnate with is sometimes
(25:11):
there for maybe not the whole run right, Maybe there
are you know, there are moments that they are there
for because I am have you said work and this
is what got me. I had to have a really
good friend. Her name is that Katherine Colbert, and she
now works for Netflix. She used to work at Fox
(25:31):
and Catherine UM and I just recently had reached out
to her simply to thank her for eleven years ago.
She was where I she when I came when I
found out that Mom died when she jumped UM, I went.
When I first went back in the office, I put
my ship down to my office and I belined it
(25:51):
to her to her office because that is where I
felt safe, It's where I felt loved, It is where
I could be myself UM and she was there for
that and I have will never forget that and she
to me is part of my spiritual family. Even though
I talked to her all the time, see her all
the time, I still love her deeply, right, and what
(26:15):
happens in my understanding so at those you know, very
critical moments where you're just seen and held and honored
in those sacred spaces. I think think of it this way.
So before we come to the planet, we meet in
our you know, spiritual coffee shops, like in our energetic
coffee shops, and we're still spirits and we're like, Okay,
(26:38):
you know, I love you so much and I'm going
to come in and help you for this kind of situation,
whatever it is. I can bail you out before you
make a really crappy career conversation and before up your
marriage or whatever it is. You know what, Like you
have these little contracts in these little packs, and then
you know when they're there for that phase whatever it is,
to complete it, and it can be I'm gonna I'm
(26:58):
gonna come in and blow up your career when it
when you're playing too small and it's never going to
serve you, and you've you've abandoned your incredible creative gifts
and you know, but you got locked in being a
banker or something. I know, I don't know. I'm just
making stop sorry bankers have I apologized on behalf of
But you know, if I'm a very creative spirit, I
need to you know, that's not the that's not the
(27:19):
right environment. So um. But and so when you get
to the end of this life and you drop your
body and reunite in your spiritual domain, though, you get
to reconnect with those spirits and go, so did it
serve you well? And you know, I'm just you know,
it was fun to play together and oh my god,
you were so mad. That was awesome, goes, you know,
(27:40):
and then you get to you get to incorporate those
lessons again and again at a deeper, deeper level. And
so that's the celebration of how we come together and
support each other. And so it's it's it's literally a
soul contract. But you know, it's usually we think of
like soul mates, like oh, I have to marry you
and be married for seventy years. Overblown people, overblown, I've
(28:01):
had more questions about it. I'm like to stop stop
putting a label on things, folks. Well, and it's just,
you know, it's all those fairy tales that were given
when we're young, and Hollywood and everything else, and there's
something to do good Hollywood, Hollywood, and there's nothing wrong
with any of those, but it's just limiting because there
are other those critical people. And sometimes it's a teacher
like Karen. Right. Sometimes it's um, you know, all those
(28:24):
all those little critical where someone comes in and is
it was so intense and so extraordinary, and then you
don't ever see him again our past and across for
whatever reason, but they're still blazoned in your heart right right,
So to see those, I think that our call, so
to speak for this is you know, to like you said,
to identify those and reach out in those unexpected ways,
(28:46):
and just to let them know when you can do
you can need to thank them. Yeah yeah, And and
look if that's too much cinement, to text him an
email whatever you know, whatever whatever you got, or go
role school and ring card you just said slack. Wow,
I'm not sure that I would pour my heart out
and slack, But that's okay. Sometimes, you know, sometimes when
(29:08):
the spara moves you, it's not very it's not very
secure people. That's okay. I do just want to give
a shout out to teachers, because my uncle jumped a
couple of years ago, and he was a school teacher.
And you know, I've been in that situation where literally
you would, you know, for the receiving line, like I
(29:28):
would go tap someone to give them a rest in
the receiving line, because the receiving line never ended. It
was this one was it was three hours long? Easy, Yeah,
at least, I mean they were there far past their
their time. I mean hundreds and hundreds, if not into
the thousand plus people. And so he taught high school,
so the parents and the kids and then the kids
of the kids. Of course, it was amazing. It was amazing,
(29:52):
of course. Yeah, so that's one of our teachers, right.
And and really teachers have like expansive soul families because
you touch so many people at a foundational level. It's extraordinary,
such a privileged role, so underpaid and underappreciated and extraordinarily essential. Yeah,
I I think so, but I yeah so too. So
(30:14):
to your uncle, uh and to my cousin Karen. Yeah,
you know, we we honor you and thank you. And
also just the kindness. Yeah, you know, I just have
one last thing, I know, we're gonna end this episode.
I just need to say this because I'm sure I
have before, but I want to rappid x. I keep
talking about Karen's kindness, and um, I had I know
(30:37):
I've told the story about this one jackass. I had
at USC one of my students that stood up and
started arguing with me about how smart he was because
he could, you know, search Google anything in the world
from his phone and he got the information. And I'm like,
don'te be confused that being resourceful is non intelligence? And
I said, and I called, I told himself, I think
you're quite arrogant for this point of view. And I said,
(30:59):
you think at being smart is the apex of life,
but it is not, and you only value intelligence. And
I promise you there will be a day when you
desperately need kindness and it will not be there because
you're a jackass. And for the record, I was right.
I'm just gonna say out loud. I was correct in
(31:20):
this statement. And he was a guy. He needed to
be bit upside the head. And um, because I found
in life so many people will value what what they
think is important. Not everything is important, you know, Like
there are people who value intelligence and only smart people.
I only want to work with people who have a
hundred and fifty Q. It's like, really, you're an asshole then, um,
(31:42):
and but they always devalue kindness, is my point and um,
I have in my life put a terminousm value on kindness,
and I just want to just emphasize that to people
is kindness is equally and sometimes if not more important
than intelligence or creativity or whatever it means. But kindness,
(32:04):
don't ever ever let that fall under the radar. Yeah,
so yeah, our listeners will have to help us, so
I can google it, I'm sure. But the phrase, um,
whenever possible, be kind, and it's always possible, always right.
They said that's on that note, and Karen embodied that
(32:25):
every day, so I think her I love that. Um.
You know one of the hot phrases in corporate world
right now is clear as kind, right, clear as kind
when you when you're really clear with someone and despite
you know saying you're going to beat him upside the head,
but you're very clear to him right. Yes, it was
(32:47):
very guarantee you. I changed his life. It wasn't pleasant
for him, but I guarantee you it will be. So
he will not forget that moment. Yeah, and you know
he'll hopefully incorporate in a way that serves many many
others going forward. So yeah, so thank you for sharing
your family story and you're expansive field of the heart. Yeah.
(33:11):
I just want to encourage everybody to kind of look
a little differently at times when when they can, because
it's worth looking. Yeah, family and claim them, claim your
special family, right, invite them. Yeah, it's free. Well you
can't tell them hostage, but well you could. I just
don't think it serves you. It's definitely not kind. Thanks
(33:33):
for listening to everybody. I remember her school is hard
without her expansive spiritual family. That's right. Thank you all.
Thank you for joining us everyone, and a special thanks
to our producer Joey pat and our executive producer Maya
(33:57):
Cole Howard, who guides us well we guide. Hit us
up on Instagram at other Side Guides, or shoot us
a note at high Hi at Vibes dot store. We
want to know what you think, We want to know
what you know, and we want to hear your stories.
And remember, our school is hard without the other Side.
(34:17):
Insider's Guide to the Other Side is a production of
i heart Radio. For more podcasts from my heart Radio,
visit the i heart Radio apps, Spotify, Apple podcast, or
wherever you get your podcasts.
Welcome to Insider's Guide to the Other Side, a production
of My Heart Radio. Hi, y'all, I'm Julie. Hi there,
I'm Brenda. Welcome to Insider's Guide to the Other Side. Now,
y'all need to know that we are obsessed with everything
on the other side. Yes, we are, because once you
(00:22):
learn to navigate the energetic, or to some the invisible world,
life is going to be more fun and much more serene. Heck,
yes it can, because, let's be honest, Brian, earth school
is hard. In fact, you taught me that, let's crush
Earth School together. Well, hello, my witchy pooh, how are you?
(00:44):
I'm again I got you in the ether totally do
you totally do? Oh my god, how are you Mail?
I'm doing great? You know, I um. I went and
watched Dr Strange Ange in the theater um Saturday and Sunday.
(01:05):
I know, well, a girl's just got to study. I mean,
I needed to spend time with it. I needed to see, like,
what are they trying to tell us? You know, don't
get wrapped up in all the special effects, Julie, second
time around? Right, first time, I get all wrapped up
in it. Right, second time around, I'm like, what's the story?
What are they telling us here? Um? I encourage everyone
(01:25):
to go see it. It It actually did almost two hundred
million it's opening weekend, which is really fantastic. Um. It's
I think probably the biggest hit we've had since the pandemics.
So that was really exciting. So yeah, I said in
the theater, yea exciting a mule levels. I know. Oh
my god, I've missed it so much. That's great, that's great. Yeah.
And the other thing that I have missed I think
(01:47):
many of us have missed, which is really a big
our topic today, which is family yep, and the pandemic.
Lots of lots of news, lots lots of newness, and
lots of opportunity, you know. I mean I think every
day is opportunity, right, I think that's fair to say.
And Um, we had a big event happened in my
(02:09):
family that really had me thinking about what does family mean?
From very much a spiritual standpoint. Um, some people, especially
in Arkansas, family means well, work in the fields, or
they usually marry each other, so it means more generations.
(02:30):
That was my terrible joke on Arkansas. Um. But but
even though I am in Arkansas, Um to this now
I am. Actually we are not in Florida right now,
but um, we had a big event happened that that
really had me rethink and I came to conclusions that
I had actually never come to before. Um, I think
(02:51):
I've like waited. I'm like a late bloomer. You know,
you don't like those young girls or young boys and
they still a kind of dorky in high school, but
then when they're in college, like they kind of like
feel in and they're called late bloomers. I think I'm
a spiritual late bloomer. It's like, all of a sudden,
all these things are coming to me in my fifties. Uh,
that's kind of where I am. But it's a beautiful thing.
You know. Some people don't don't even get that any
(03:12):
at any time during there. Yeah, so you know, I'm
I'm blooming, just late blooming. Um. But my cousin Rob,
who is actually quite a bit older than me, from
a contemporary cousin standpoint um twelve years and three days
to be exact, His wife jumped a few weeks ago.
(03:38):
His wife Karen, who was fifty seven at the time,
and really really it was like, you know what you
can when something is painful yet glorious, right yeah. I mean,
if we're lucky, those two things coexist at the same time,
right yeah. And that's what it felt like. I fell
(04:00):
the pain of not having Karen around. And really my
pain was more for my cousin because they've been together
since honestly, I was in high school. I remember her
meeting her at my aunt and uncle's house and Oatmongy, Oklahoma,
back in mid eighties. You know, they've been dating. They
(04:21):
got married in and so my pain was for him
because she's all he knows, and she left young and
left young. Um, so you know, there was a lot
of a lot of reflection on that and and but
the big reflection was when I was on my way
to the grave site. By the way, Christians have a
(04:44):
lot of pomp and circumstance around death. I mean, holy
sh it, I mean, from the food to the gatherings
to want to boom boom, boom boom. I mean it was,
it was. It was pretty intense. But on the way
you didn't see it coming, No, No, I didn't. Actually,
it's great because if when you grew up in that tradition,
(05:05):
it's all very comforting because you know, all those traditions
will be there when it's your time to say goodbye, right,
and then they guide you. Oh. I think it was
incredibly helpful for people who were there. I mean, whether
it was in the viewing which was on a Friday
night at the church that they that Karen hadited and
since she was a child, oh my gosh, and the
(05:27):
one where my cousin had been a preacher, you know.
So it's yes, this is my family everyone for those
that are not sitting down, um. But I will say
that I had said to you Brenda before we even started,
is that I love my cousin and there is nothing
that will change my mind. There is nothing, there's absolutely nothing.
I love him and I have always loved him and
(05:47):
I always will love him. It does not matter that
we don't see eye to eye on the way the
world should operate. And it sounds like it's mutual, like
he is mutual. You couldn't care less like your family,
your family, your mind, exactly right, your mind. But was
interesting is my kind of Aha, wasn't about my cousin
Because I've been very clear, always clear how I feel
(06:08):
about him and he and I've actually talked about our differences.
It's actually about his wife, Karen, and Karen was she
was a school teacher. Um taught fourth grade in Farmington, Arkansas.
Very loved. I mean, hundreds and hundreds of people went
to the viewing. Hundreds they kept filing in. Yeah, those teachers,
they touched so many, such a such an exquisite threshold
(06:32):
that people cross every year, right, like, oh my gosh,
shooting by these teachers, right, And this woman was loved,
loved the people that I saw just like filing through
this church. And my poor cousin Rob, he could not bear.
They had an open casket, which, by the way, is
the first I've ever seen a dead body. For the record,
(06:54):
I've had a lot of people, never saw one, never
wanted to. It was a bit of an exit. She
looked great though they didn't great job. But um, so
it's an open casket. My cousin had not seen her
yet in that state. So he's back at the back
of the church and it's his son and his son's
wife that are both in their early twenties that are
there greeting everyone. And they were so impressive, like they
were handling it. And but I see all the and
(07:15):
I'm not kidding. Hundreds were. At one point I reached
up to Ben, his son, and said, then I think
I need to go, And I said, I don't want to,
but I think I need you because well, how come?
And I said, I think I need to frege up
a parking spot because there's there was that many people, right, so,
all these people are filing through, and I'm really like
sitting there, like sitting very quietly, which is odd, sitting
(07:37):
there and you know, listening and just kind of feeling
and of course I'm staring at you know, Karen dead
Karen body, waiting for her to wake up and like
kind of wink at me, you know, or something she
didn't um and just really with her. And what I
thought about was such a big lesson to me. And
it was this issue of what family means. And you know, Karen,
(08:00):
like we say, there's my mom on one side of
the spectrum and my mother. I was on this planet
to be her little number two. I was from any me.
There was no question. It was never a hard relationship.
It was amazing. And then those other people that are
very hard to get along with. Right then, I was
thinking about Karen by marriage obviously, family um I would
have never met Karen if not for my cousin. Karen
(08:22):
isn't somebody that I would have ever run into, and
not I wouldn't have been you know. It's just we
don't run the same crowds. She's not gay, um hang
out together. Well, we do have a club, um, And
I just I would have never we don't have kids,
would have never seen her in school, you know. But
(08:44):
I am so incredibly grateful to have actually had her
in my life because she was this kind, kind soul,
always smiling, always helpful, considerate to everyone, and unlike anybody
else in my family. By the way, which is probably
(09:05):
why I think so highly give her, is that she
wasn't she was an alien in my family. We weren't
really the nicest people in the world, and she was
this kindness. And I'm so grateful that my cousin brought
her in because I realized that family doesn't just have
to be with who you identify with, and that it's
(09:27):
easy that, you know, family can teach us lessons, can
teach us, you know, of what we don't see in
the mirror, or what we'd like to see in the mirror,
you know, like when I watch all those people filing in.
I went home and told Susanne because she's still a
little COVID nervous. Um. When home and told Susanne, and
I said, Honey, I don't know that many people much
ass that many people showing up to my funeral. I'm like,
(09:49):
I just that is not my world. It's her world,
but that is certainly not mine. And I am just
so glad to have been a part of it, and
to know someone that so many people would take a
shower and dress up ish gets the Arkansas I look
the best for the record, and we know how I
dress um. And it just wasn't anything that I had
(10:12):
really experienced. Was like a whole community literally showing up.
So I just thought about what family is and how
to look at it and maybe sometimes look at a
little bit differently. Yeah, And and the value of hanging
with and appreciating or learning how to connect to people
who are so different than you. Right when you know,
especially when marriage expands the family, it's it's hard on
(10:36):
the people coming in, and it's hard sometimes for the
family members, like how how do we embrace that that's different?
We don't agree to that, right, right? You don't get
to vote who people love, and so you don't. It's
not it's not a democracy right right now, but it is.
It's not a democracy. And you know it's funny because
(10:59):
I was telling job my cousin Rob that we were
talking about Karen, and I said, did she ever tell
you that when I called her her advice or help
in eighteen? And he goes, no, she didn't tell me.
I said, oh, he goes, what what now? He's like, all, what? What? What?
And I said, you know we should hold that. Oh
(11:19):
were the cliff hang it? I love it. You go, girl,
We'll be right back. Good move, and welcome back from
our cliffhanger. But I think people are probably laughing at
(11:42):
cliffhanger sore, like what the hell they think? That's the cliffhanger.
It was more of an interruption. But how we entertain
ourselves totally copped to that. So why why did why
did you called you natural? Why didn't do you call Karen? Yeah,
hind your cousin's back, Well I did because I was
(12:03):
I was afraid, um, which isn't a word I used,
ry what were you afraid of? Um? I was afraid
of my book coming out and not have I don't know,
greasing the skids a little bit, because you know they
are they are deeply conservative in their views in the world,
and they are deeply religious in their views in the world.
(12:26):
And um, I wanted to just kind of prep Karen
for Rob. And so I called her and I said,
you know, I hate Karen kind of thing. And I said,
do I have a book coming out? She's like, oh,
you do, like because I didn't. They didn't know that either.
And I told her what it was. I said, I go,
I beg you not to judge until I'm finished, and
(12:49):
I started talking to her about the title, and um,
and I really ended it with I just I just
want to ask for your help and want to ask
for your help to when you talk to Rob about this,
just to let him know that we both believe in God.
We just got their different ways and I and I
(13:10):
just like I wanted him to know that piece of
it and so the rest of it wouldn't scare him
or turn him off or turn him away or whatever
it may be. And it maybe it would have never
done that, but it was my fear. Yeah. And and
that's legit because you've had that feedback before, right where
some people will start backing away from you for whatever reason,
(13:31):
and you you care about your cousin, so I very
much I get that. I wanted to to make sure
it was okay. And I'm sure she was lovely amazing. Yeah,
she was absolutely positively amazing about it. So family, right,
Like I went to her when I was in distress
(13:52):
about that particular issue. It was her that I went
to um. And so Rob actually he loved it, you know,
I mean he and I know he read it because
he called me and he talked to me about it
and and all of that. I'm sure he didn't tell
me every opinion that he had, which is okay because
I don't think I wanted to hear everything that he had,
because I don't give him every opinion I have about
his church. So we are very very respectful to one another.
(14:15):
It's perfect. It's perfect. And what m even just you
reaching out to her is very gracious, right. It's you're
taking care of Rob in this way, right and and
wanting to makes maintain the connection. And and the thing is,
no one can read that book without you know, no one.
(14:35):
It's a love letter to your to your mom. And
of course I'm sure he adored her. Yeah, he actually
spoke at her service. My oh brand it was he
was amazing because he's such an amazing speaker, amazing in
front of a group. He's he's also very funny. Oh
he's so funny. No, for real, he is so funny.
(14:59):
So I think this whole topic family, Um, there's also
family that I want nothing to do with. And that's
okay too, right, because I've gone through that exercise of
where do I connect, where do I not connect? Where?
You know? But being open is is to me the
(15:21):
most important part. And then you instead of because I
would normally be a little close off, and it's like, oh,
you want to judge me, You want to judge what
I do, how I live, who I'm married to? Fuck you,
I mean, that's who's kind of mymo. Then I'm still
you are a warrior for love. Seriously, seriously, it's totally true.
(15:46):
But I think that you know, it's okay to um
to not have to interact, right, Like I just told
the story of having somebody brought into the family that
I was. I mean virtually nothing in common with truly,
nothing like nothing on paper, so to speak. Right, there's
like absolutely nothing and I had so much respect and
(16:12):
love for her Um, someone who I would have never met,
and so I'm really grateful for that having some of
the family that was so incredibly different than me. But
I also know there are people who are really different,
and I think that kind of the the line for
me is if somebody is a real asshole, then I'm
out and seeing she was not an asshole. She's very, very,
(16:34):
very kind. In fact, I'm the asshole she could have
cut out to be perfectly frank in the relationship. I mean,
I can't lie except her husband adored you. Except rough
right right right, right right. It doesn't sound like it
was quite their way to cut people out. No, no,
and and and my cousin absolutely was crazy about my mother.
(16:55):
I'm not sure that he knows that mom had an abortion.
Um the because this day and age, that is certainly
something that is triggering to a lot of people. I
know I've talked about it before, but I'll say it again.
I think I even put it on face. I don't know,
not on Facebook. I quit Facebook on Instagram yesterday for
Mother's Day. Is um I would not be here if
(17:17):
she did not have an illegal abortion. Do you wanna
do you want to unpack that for people a little bit.
Unpack it that I wouldn't be here. She didn't have
a legal abortion. Um. Yeah, Mom was dating a man
named Bill Mount. I'm gonna say everybody's name because they're
all dead and they didn't give a ship. Um, so
she was dating a guy named Bill Mount. And and
(17:39):
my mom, just for the record, she was a good
looking woman. I mean she was, Seriously, she was a
fine looking woman. And she was like Catinet two men
when she was like in that day, so she could
pretty much have whoever she wanted. I'm just being really honest.
I know she's my mom, but whatever what ebbs, that's
who she was. And she would attract actually quite rich men.
(18:02):
And Bill was an oil guy and a wealthy guy.
And Mom got pregnant when she it was probably even
the early sixties, late fifties. So Rovie Wade with seventy
three so right, and because he had means, he paid
for a safe abortion for Mom. Because it's not what
(18:25):
either one of them wanted or needed in their life
at the time, and it's certainly not what Mom wanted.
I mean, Mom, lady, here's the great news. Mom was
so open with me about all this stuff like there
was she didn't stutter once, she didn't apologize. She there
was no shame associated to it. You know, it's amazing
right there? Oh my god? Yeah? Why yes, not a
(18:47):
not an ounce. It's like she lived her life right,
and she made her decisions and she wasn't going to
be apologetic to anybody for them, including her daughter, need
answer to anyone, right, And because she wanted she wanted
a family just she wanted to be married and have
a family is what she wanted, not like that, right,
And so if she would not have had that abortion,
(19:10):
her life would have been I mean drastically different, right,
drastically different. So we talk about family, right, and we
talked about the spiritual side of family. There's nothing more
spiritual than being in line and actually being able to
come in right, Like I know that Mom and I
had an agreement long before either one of us were
(19:32):
on this planet, let's go around, and there was no
stopping me from coming in. And I have often wondered
would I have gone in through that body? And my
answer I keep getting was no, I don't think it
was ever meant to be. Yeah, And and you know
what we know is that when spirits get assigned, you
(19:53):
know embryo, right, when when they get assigned, they have
an experience. They have a so will expanding experience. Even
if they don't come to fruition like you know, if
it's a natural miscarriage or induced abortion, like it doesn't
like they that spirits soul still advances in some way,
(20:17):
shape or form, so they get something from the experience
even if they don't come in to a traditional manifestation.
M So, I don't think that was made. That's probably
why is that well, And the reason I pointed out
is because then you wouldn't that soul would not have
been able to reincarnate so quickly. That's my point, right,
Oh got it? Got it interesting because it was probably
(20:40):
minimum ten years later that I came around. Um So,
I look at everything that's happening in the world, and
I'm hearing all these points of views, and it's not
that I it's hard for me to disagree with either side,
to be really honest, like, I understand there's people that
you know, save the babies, but we're like, Okay, I
at it, I understand it, but it's none of your
(21:02):
fucking business what my mother did. I'm making it everybody's
business by talking about it, because because you because because
you don't actually hear from grown ass adults like myself
that say, I know I'm here as a result of
a previous abortion. I am, And I had no qualms
saying the A word because I was like, oh, yeah,
(21:22):
we like cancer, don't say abortion like abortion, abortion abortion,
It is what it is. And um, because you mainly
hear from women who had them, right, like, those are
the stories that we typically here. And so I've been
talking to whoever will listen. It's like I am a product,
like I'm here because my mama had an abortion. Folks.
So if you hate me and you don't you think
(21:44):
I should be gone, well a fuck you, But be
I don't care because I am here, and I was
here because I was supposed to be here, and I
was here because my mom had to go through a
lot of ship for me to get here, you know.
And with that, we're going to take another break. No,
there's no cliffhanger on that one. We'll be right back. Okay,
(22:10):
I'm bringing us back. And I just promised Brenda and
the Break that I will not finish this episode by
going with the ship. I don't care. They can funk off.
I know that's not always helpful. It's entertaining, but it's
not always helpful. And so I'm gonna like kick it
over to my witchy poo to actually, you know, bring
it into that spiritual plane again. What I think is
is so lovely is how you you know, open this
(22:35):
conversation with Karen being family, right, and family of choice
is so important. It's not you know, this exclusive family
of blood that is so apparent to us, and it's
obvious for good batter and different um. But you know,
we definitely identify with our family or biological family, but
(22:57):
we reincarnate in groups. Right. So the people, you know,
the people that you recognize, the people that the first
time you meet them, you're just like, oh my god.
Like the first time I met Ruben, you know, and
then the second time I met him, uh, he moved in. Right.
That's that's a family of choice, Like, these are people
that we know from other times and um and of
(23:18):
course Reuben is our mutual friend, um. So, but it's
it's this recognition of souls that we know and that
we count on um and and so I just invite
people to challenge yourself to say who is my family
of choice? Like who's my familiar people that I just
have that special spark with And it doesn't matter if
(23:40):
I barely know them or I see them once every
ten years, Like who are those people? And just poke
around in your heart, reach out to them in an
unexpected way and try and cultivate that that recognition reclaimed,
that sacred space of the hearts that says, no, you're
my people, you know and I and I recognize you,
(24:03):
and yeah, maybe we didn't come from the same bloodline,
but we're in the same spiritual family for sure. And
sometimes it's someone at work. Sometimes it's you know, someone
you know from school or something like that. But you know,
there's there are those people that you just have an
understanding and just not honor it by claiming that and
making it special and carving out special time for that,
(24:26):
just like you would almost have a family obligation, but
it's it's not laid out for you, like family you
see at holidays or you see at whatever situations your
families gathers like many cases relundedly like sometimes almost resent you,
like how ship, I don't want to go this in hours?
Like of whatever it is UM. But if you can
(24:48):
do that, you know, with with great intention to your
family of choice that's obvious to you or that you're
even curious about, it can be really nice and you
can find such a special gift there. And sometimes I think,
can you tell me if I'm mistaken on this is?
Sometimes the spiritual family that we reincarnate with is sometimes
(25:11):
there for maybe not the whole run right, Maybe there
are you know, there are moments that they are there
for because I am have you said work and this
is what got me. I had to have a really
good friend. Her name is that Katherine Colbert, and she
now works for Netflix. She used to work at Fox
(25:31):
and Catherine UM and I just recently had reached out
to her simply to thank her for eleven years ago.
She was where I she when I came when I
found out that Mom died when she jumped UM, I went.
When I first went back in the office, I put
my ship down to my office and I belined it
(25:51):
to her to her office because that is where I
felt safe, It's where I felt loved, It is where
I could be myself UM and she was there for
that and I have will never forget that and she
to me is part of my spiritual family. Even though
I talked to her all the time, see her all
the time, I still love her deeply, right, and what
(26:15):
happens in my understanding so at those you know, very
critical moments where you're just seen and held and honored
in those sacred spaces. I think think of it this way.
So before we come to the planet, we meet in
our you know, spiritual coffee shops, like in our energetic
coffee shops, and we're still spirits and we're like, Okay,
(26:38):
you know, I love you so much and I'm going
to come in and help you for this kind of situation,
whatever it is. I can bail you out before you
make a really crappy career conversation and before up your
marriage or whatever it is. You know what, Like you
have these little contracts in these little packs, and then
you know when they're there for that phase whatever it is,
to complete it, and it can be I'm gonna I'm
(26:58):
gonna come in and blow up your career when it
when you're playing too small and it's never going to
serve you, and you've you've abandoned your incredible creative gifts
and you know, but you got locked in being a
banker or something. I know, I don't know. I'm just
making stop sorry bankers have I apologized on behalf of
But you know, if I'm a very creative spirit, I
need to you know, that's not the that's not the
(27:19):
right environment. So um. But and so when you get
to the end of this life and you drop your
body and reunite in your spiritual domain, though, you get
to reconnect with those spirits and go, so did it
serve you well? And you know, I'm just you know,
it was fun to play together and oh my god,
you were so mad. That was awesome, goes, you know,
(27:40):
and then you get to you get to incorporate those
lessons again and again at a deeper, deeper level. And
so that's the celebration of how we come together and
support each other. And so it's it's it's literally a
soul contract. But you know, it's usually we think of
like soul mates, like oh, I have to marry you
and be married for seventy years. Overblown people, overblown, I've
(28:01):
had more questions about it. I'm like to stop stop
putting a label on things, folks. Well, and it's just,
you know, it's all those fairy tales that were given
when we're young, and Hollywood and everything else, and there's
something to do good Hollywood, Hollywood, and there's nothing wrong
with any of those, but it's just limiting because there
are other those critical people. And sometimes it's a teacher
like Karen. Right. Sometimes it's um, you know, all those
(28:24):
all those little critical where someone comes in and is
it was so intense and so extraordinary, and then you
don't ever see him again our past and across for
whatever reason, but they're still blazoned in your heart right right,
So to see those, I think that our call, so
to speak for this is you know, to like you said,
to identify those and reach out in those unexpected ways,
(28:46):
and just to let them know when you can do
you can need to thank them. Yeah yeah, And and
look if that's too much cinement, to text him an
email whatever you know, whatever whatever you got, or go
role school and ring card you just said slack. Wow,
I'm not sure that I would pour my heart out
and slack, But that's okay. Sometimes, you know, sometimes when
(29:08):
the spara moves you, it's not very it's not very
secure people. That's okay. I do just want to give
a shout out to teachers, because my uncle jumped a
couple of years ago, and he was a school teacher.
And you know, I've been in that situation where literally
you would, you know, for the receiving line, like I
(29:28):
would go tap someone to give them a rest in
the receiving line, because the receiving line never ended. It
was this one was it was three hours long? Easy, Yeah,
at least, I mean they were there far past their
their time. I mean hundreds and hundreds, if not into
the thousand plus people. And so he taught high school,
so the parents and the kids and then the kids
of the kids. Of course, it was amazing. It was amazing,
(29:52):
of course. Yeah, so that's one of our teachers, right.
And and really teachers have like expansive soul families because
you touch so many people at a foundational level. It's extraordinary,
such a privileged role, so underpaid and underappreciated and extraordinarily essential. Yeah,
I I think so, but I yeah so too. So
(30:14):
to your uncle, uh and to my cousin Karen. Yeah,
you know, we we honor you and thank you. And
also just the kindness. Yeah, you know, I just have
one last thing, I know, we're gonna end this episode.
I just need to say this because I'm sure I
have before, but I want to rappid x. I keep
talking about Karen's kindness, and um, I had I know
(30:37):
I've told the story about this one jackass. I had
at USC one of my students that stood up and
started arguing with me about how smart he was because
he could, you know, search Google anything in the world
from his phone and he got the information. And I'm like,
don'te be confused that being resourceful is non intelligence? And
I said, and I called, I told himself, I think
you're quite arrogant for this point of view. And I said,
(30:59):
you think at being smart is the apex of life,
but it is not, and you only value intelligence. And
I promise you there will be a day when you
desperately need kindness and it will not be there because
you're a jackass. And for the record, I was right.
I'm just gonna say out loud. I was correct in
(31:20):
this statement. And he was a guy. He needed to
be bit upside the head. And um, because I found
in life so many people will value what what they
think is important. Not everything is important, you know, Like
there are people who value intelligence and only smart people.
I only want to work with people who have a
hundred and fifty Q. It's like, really, you're an asshole then, um,
(31:42):
and but they always devalue kindness, is my point and um,
I have in my life put a terminousm value on kindness,
and I just want to just emphasize that to people
is kindness is equally and sometimes if not more important
than intelligence or creativity or whatever it means. But kindness,
(32:04):
don't ever ever let that fall under the radar. Yeah,
so yeah, our listeners will have to help us, so
I can google it, I'm sure. But the phrase, um,
whenever possible, be kind, and it's always possible, always right.
They said that's on that note, and Karen embodied that
(32:25):
every day, so I think her I love that. Um.
You know one of the hot phrases in corporate world
right now is clear as kind, right, clear as kind
when you when you're really clear with someone and despite
you know saying you're going to beat him upside the head,
but you're very clear to him right. Yes, it was
(32:47):
very guarantee you. I changed his life. It wasn't pleasant
for him, but I guarantee you it will be. So
he will not forget that moment. Yeah, and you know
he'll hopefully incorporate in a way that serves many many
others going forward. So yeah, so thank you for sharing
your family story and you're expansive field of the heart. Yeah.
(33:11):
I just want to encourage everybody to kind of look
a little differently at times when when they can, because
it's worth looking. Yeah, family and claim them, claim your
special family, right, invite them. Yeah, it's free. Well you
can't tell them hostage, but well you could. I just
don't think it serves you. It's definitely not kind. Thanks
(33:33):
for listening to everybody. I remember her school is hard
without her expansive spiritual family. That's right. Thank you all.
Thank you for joining us everyone, and a special thanks
to our producer Joey pat and our executive producer Maya
(33:57):
Cole Howard, who guides us well we guide. Hit us
up on Instagram at other Side Guides, or shoot us
a note at high Hi at Vibes dot store. We
want to know what you think, We want to know
what you know, and we want to hear your stories.
And remember, our school is hard without the other Side.
(34:17):
Insider's Guide to the Other Side is a production of
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