August 30, 2023 • 40 mins
How many times have you asked yourself, "What would make me happy?"The search for happiness can be an eternal quest many of us feel we will never complete. That's why you must re-frame both your definition of happiness and the way you pursue it. Earth School is an extraordinary sacred journey, and the path toward happiness can be found and felt all along the way. Today, we discuss how important spirituality is to your well-being and how openness, presence, and trust are the pillars that uphold the framework of faith.Brenda shares how Tarot can support your ability to see yourself and others with a clear lens and the compassion that evolves from Tarot's knowledge. Julie shares what inspires her to remember not everything is permanent, and we discuss how important it is to lean into your community of choice for love, insight, and inspiration.So join us today as we find the sacred in the mundane, the joy in the unknown, the peace in the process, and the ultimate happy place of the Other Side.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Insider's Guide to the Other Side, a production
of iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Hi, y'all, I'm Julie.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
Hi there, I'm Brenda. Welcome to Insider's Guide to the
other Side.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Now, y'all need to know that we are obsessed with
everything on the other side.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
Yes, we are, because once you learn to navigate the energetic,
or to some the invisible world, life is going to
be more fun and much more serene.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Uh heck, yes it can. Because, let's be honest, br in,
earth school is hard.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
In fact, you taught me that let's crush Earth School together.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Well, hello, why do you laugh every I haven't even
said anything hardly. I just said, well, he well, hell
is all I got to saying, well, hello, my witchyoo,
how were you?
Speaker 3 (01:02):
I am. I'm very happy to be speaking with you.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Oh my god, that's hilarious.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Always love to make you giggle, because you know, that's
a form of happiness.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
It is such a good farm.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
It's like a newport gesture. I guess that's just being
an elf.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
Right is that redundant? I don't know?
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Okay, speaking of elf By the way, just to follow
up really quickly from another one of our episodes, there.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
We talked about.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Sue Elf and training, who was asking about solar flares
and how I had to spend the ten bucks. She
she actually uh sent me ten dollars on I don't
know his PayPal or Venmo whatever the hell. It was
some bullshit digital something. But yeah, she's so so we're square.
(01:55):
Uh we're squares.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
I thought it was. I thought it was clean karma.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
I like that.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
I appreciate right right right.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
I thought it was she did it out of the blue,
so it was really hilarious. So, you know, there is
it's I think that we have been a little remiss
about not focusing on you know, a what is happiness
and how do you find your own for our listeners.
(02:26):
And it's like we've done a bazillion fucking shows and
not I know, two hundred, but but we haven't focused
on this, I mean solely focused.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
Yeah, we've stanced around it, whether it's self care or
tending to your high five.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
Oh for sure, for sure, I've.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
Related all contributing to but you haven't hit the target.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Right. We've done the cha chaw and dancing around it, right,
and but we haven't like gone head on with it.
And you know, there's just so much out there, and
I feel like I feel like every day there's even more.
And there's pressure, right, So there's a lot from television, perspective, books,
there's different you know, podcasts, podcast gurus, whatever it is
(03:15):
about finding your happiness, right, and so there feels like
there's a lot of pressure.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
And because we're social.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
Animals, does not create the happiness, No.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
It doesn't.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Actually, there's been studies that those who have this intentional
drive to seek it out actually end up at a
deficit from where they started before they you know, kind
of went on their.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Mission for happiness.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
Agreed, And I.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Just you know, let's fucking talk about it, and pussing
makes me happy. And and I and I and I
actually just you know, and I know when I do
this it can embarrass you sometimes. But one of the
ways that I actually learned happiness and how to find
(04:07):
it and how to like hold it was actually with
through tourou And I know you love it. We all
fucking know you love Touro, but it is it's like
saying the obvious, right, It's like, did Julie like Terry Pie? Yeah, duh, dummy,
But I think that and I want to talk about
a little because I know you've been teaching. I think
(04:28):
you just finished up a Terror two class and I
just yeah, and I think you have another one coming up,
which we'll get to. But I want to talk about
TROW in a little bit of a different way than
I have before, as you know, a student of yours,
being on the other side of the table from you,
and about what it opened up for me and why
it actually helped me find happiness because it did, and
(04:53):
I think because of the major arcane of cards, because
it takes you through what do you call it, like
an archetypical life kind of thing?
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Is that what you the journal?
Speaker 3 (05:03):
The journey journal? Yeah? So so it's the expansion and
contraction of our school, right, those things that just squeeze
you and can restrict you to find your own resilience
so that you can expand out further. Right, It's this
natural pulsation that is part of our journey. It's it's
(05:23):
not a mistake, it's not a punishment, it's not a
you are not worthy. It literally is challenging to strengthen
you and show you to yourself all that you are. Yeah,
and extraordinary sacred journey.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Oh, I love it and also as you weave through it.
By the way, I'm actually using hand hand signals apparently
just for you, Brenda, because somebody else can see me.
But you're like a like a fish swimming like a
weaving through it is.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
I think there's a lot more.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
I think there's so much to it, like on a
on a like on levels that we don't give it
credit for.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
Well, yeah, because you can you can actually see yourself right,
You're like, oh, I've been there, I've been there, which
makes you such a compassionate reader. Yes, it does, and
and human right, and it gets you in touch with
the compassion for yourself right and to go, oh, gosh,
I remember that that that made me better. I never
(06:26):
would have chosen that, but it really helped me be
better right.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Right, and compassionate with others and most importantly, compassionate with
yourself right like exactly exactly and knowing right. So for me,
the happiness part of it is knowing that I don't
have to be in that phase forever, especially if it
doesn't feel good, and also knowing that even like the
(06:51):
great parts that are that are elated, knowing that that's
not forever.
Speaker 3 (06:55):
Either exactly right, Yes, and to know that it is.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
A journey and it is that because sometimes when the
bad things are happening, people think that's forever and it
causes a lot of depression.
Speaker 4 (07:08):
Yeah, it feels like it's going to last forever in
the moment, correct, correct, But it's a journey, right, so
you can continue to the next step and you're always evolving.
And that whole uh saying, you know, you never step
in the same river twice because I change, right, You've changed.
That's the one thing that changes.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
That's the thing that I That's the one thing I
took away from my philosophy class in college. Was that
the philosopher who said you don't walk through the same
river twice? Yeah, and literally that's all I got from it. Boy,
that was probably that was probably a very expensive class,
but what a great lesson. It's totally true.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
It's probably more than you remember from some other classes.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Oh, there's no doubt about that. There's no doubt.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
And I will not go off in a tangent, which
I could, but I'm not. I'm gonna go back to
where we were happiness. But I think it's like, like, listen,
we're all different humans, right, and we all started out different.
We all go through our different journeys. And I think
what for me that was so powerful was that I
(08:14):
realized that not everything is permanent. Which I know that
might sound naive to some and I think it by
the other that's rebel trotting by. But she talked about
not walking through the same anything twice as a dog
every day is a new journey for her.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
But but.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
It it for and I think it was naive for me, right,
I mean, I like if I felt, if I felt
a lot of I don't know, devastation about something, it's
like that it felt like that devastation was never going
to end, but I didn't realize that it was going
to end, because nothing is permanent, right. And then the
other part of it is building that, you know, the spirituality.
(08:57):
So spirituality has been shown in studies over and over
to contribute to happiness. And so however you define what
your spirituality is, whether it's a particular religion, whether it's
a broad kind of sense of spirituality, which is what
I claim that.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
Well, it's usually I mean to something bigger, anything.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Anything bigger than me, correct, And so to me, this
contributes to that, and that is such a huge part
of self right and that connection, and it's also something
to row. Unlike I think a lot of other faith
based type of religions, I can really share this with
(09:39):
no harm. I'm not trying to recruit. I'm not trying
to do any of those things. I literally am not
a recruiter anyway, because I'm not a joiner. So if
you're not a joiner, you're not a recruiter, which is
totally true, which is also part of my happiness. Right,
I'm actually not a joiner, and I'm perfectly happy about that.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
But it's this.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
So when people consider this in their life, I wanted
just to add some other layers. Since we were talking
about happiness, the first thing that came to my mind
because some of the happiest times for me was reading
cards for other people.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
And also.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
I would pay attention to how I felt about it
because the first thing I had to do was I
had to let go whatever it was right because it
wasn't mine, and if there's anything mine, I needed to
resolve it.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
And I think I was sorry, go ahead, y, no, please,
you go. Well, I was just thinking, you know, every
time you sit for turou, you have to be fully
present and this is one of the characteristics they talk
about over and over about happiness to you know, if
we're focused on the future, sometimes not always, but often,
(10:48):
we can have anxiety or worry, right, And some of
it's anticipatory excitement, but a lot of it is concerned.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Or dread, dread or lots of red people have.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
Yeah, I do. Yeah, I mean sometimes and a lot
of times if we focus on the past, it has
to do with regret, it has to do with sorrow,
it has you know, something that or even trauma, you know,
some embarrassing moment or something like that. And so what
happens when you sit to read? Do you have to
be one hundred percent present? And it's really helpful to
(11:26):
your biology, to your state of mind to be present.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
Right, And even that anxiety we have before embarking on
something new is natural and normal.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
I had it.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
I was like, because of course I had it, because
you told me to quit faking it and then I
need to actually take a class. So let's just be
real honest that I didn't know what the fuck I
was doing. But but there is an anxiety like, oh,
I'm not going to be any good, Like we have
self doubt, we have anxiety, We have all of that,
but I think that's natural and I think we're supposed
to have it, and I have found that I've had
lots of other things too. Before embarking on something new.
Speaker 3 (12:04):
I woant to say that all of the students right,
small class, there's only ten students because we have to
get through ten readings in a weekend where one person
gets to read and we get to watch for every
single of one of the ten. And the reader had
anxiety every single time. They didn't know who they were
reading for. It's not that they didn't know the cards.
(12:26):
It's not that they didn't know how to train to
you know, interpret the spread. They just had to be
fully present and jump of It's like jumping is like
you're the full card, so you have to take that
initial leap. You have to have faith for every reading,
actually every time every card. Yeah, because you never know
(12:47):
what's going to come up and what you're going to
deal with, what the client's reaction is going to be.
You just have to be fully present and trust the
cards and that those things of repeatable practice of being
fully present is super critical and contributes to happiness. So
tureau great spiritual practice also a great happiness practice. Just
(13:08):
making a plug shameless.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Well actually, well, but the thing is, I'm actually not
making a plug. I'm actually just putting a call out
to it to anybody that is interested in finding more
of a connection to the divine to their for whatever
their spiritual beliefs are. This is no reason it can
conflict with anybody's whatever that exists for them. But also
(13:32):
it is you're going to get more than you think
you are, right because there is an aspect to it
that is serving others, but there's so much about you
get served too. And I think that's the part that
I feel like I haven't talked about about being a
student of it that and I'll we'll get to the
next segment and to kind of just explain why this
is such an important topic right now I think, or
(13:55):
why at least the stars have led me in this
direction to discuss this at length. But I just want
folks to know that there's so much more there, right,
There's so much more there for them, and there's so
much more into with your own spo because then you're open,
and so much more happens when you're open. And again,
I think that being present part which has always been
(14:17):
hard for a guy like me, was absolutely magical. I
love being present, I really do. Sometimes it's hard, sometimes
I have to force myself. But this helps get into
that practice of being more present. So I think you're
teaching again, Will you tell everybody.
Speaker 3 (14:34):
I'm teaching at Eslin the week of September eleventh through
the fifteenth, and that's level one. That's level one to ROSSO.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
That was fun.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
They're all fun, but that was really fun because I
talk about everything is new, like that's the cool thing.
Like you start learning the cards and what they mean,
and and so how can people.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Find it?
Speaker 3 (14:54):
They can I just go to Eslin dot com E
S A L e N dot com.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Perfect. I love that.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
And again, in normal circumstances, this would be a great
thing to do. But the fact that we are, you
know what, four years, three years, three and a half
into COVID, it has messed us all up, you know, no,
for real, Like I have I have all been well,
(15:26):
it's a reset and and it's messy. Resets are messy,
and I have I just read recently this article about
why we're so mean to one another, and I think
that's a part of it. And so this is I
think a way to kind of take a step in
the right direction and not just take a step in
(15:46):
the in the sheep harder direction that I think a
lot of people just follow suit. Right, this is a
different suit to follow.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
So I'm your humanity. Yeah, it's going to be amazing.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
Yeah, So anyway, I I I just think that was
what I thought about happiness. That was the first place
I went. And so I'm glad you're teaching another class.
So we're gonna take a quick break and we're gonna
talk more about why we want to talk about happiness,
what it is? What the fuck is happiness?
Speaker 3 (16:22):
And welcome back.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
Thanks, I'm so happy to be back. Oh my god,
how many time we're gonna up drive everybody nuts? I
will say, Oh that makes me happy or is happy
to hear that.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
I'm never gonna stop saying that. Oh good, that is
part of my practice.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
Perfect.
Speaker 3 (16:39):
So tell us why we're here today. Well, yeah, it's.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
I think it's been brewing.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
It's one of those topics that have been brewing, and
I have really paid a lot of attention lately to
about what actually makes me happy and then discovering things
that have always been there, but now I can actually
call it that. I've also been watching this show. It's
(17:08):
Rain Wilson, who was in the office. For those that
don't know, we also did a movie with him, so
just funny side note, we did this movie with him
after I first joined Fox and no I can't remember
the name of it, but somebody we'll find it. And
what's funny is we did this. We did this kind
of promotion shoot with him, and he had on this
(17:30):
shirt and it was this white shirt with kind of
ruffles at the end or flare at the at the
at the cuffs, and for some reason he left it
there and I took it. Had nowhere to tell, like
where do I do with this? Let was just throw
it away and so I had it and Susan I
was like, wait a second, I'm going to wash that.
That's gonna be my Halloween costume as a pirate. And
(17:50):
she has worn that Rain Wilson shirt for fifteen fucking
years as a pirate. So anyway, I've been watching Rain
Wilson show.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
That is hold on.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
I'm going to tell you what the title of it
is because I think it's actually based on a book,
but it's called oh uh, Geography. Of Bliss is what
he calls it, and it was on It's it's actually
on Peacock for those of streaming, I watched it on MSNBC,
uh big web tard and I also bring joy in
(18:24):
making fun of stupid names people call in general swaths
of people. So it was interesting because this all happened yesterday,
so bear with me on this is Susanne and I
went out and did like little exploration driving around kind
of our area of New Mexico, and we went to
these cute little towns and one of them is called Madrid,
(18:49):
which is spelled like Madrid, and it's like.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
So sweet and cute, and we drove to.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
Another one and we're like, where's the town and it
wasn't there, and we're driving around. We end up getting
on I twenty five North, which is toward Las Vegas, Nevada,
and there was this abandoned church and we had the
best time, probably two hours of our drive giggling about
if we bought that church and turn it into a
general store, like a convenience store and what we would
(19:16):
call things like so seriously, like it still is bringing
me joy thinking about it, like we would have, you know,
made to order, you know, holy guacamole, we would have
holy donuts. Of course you'd have to have deviled eggs, right,
I mean, who doesn't need a devil day at the
at their Holy Roller General store and not that, right,
(19:42):
But it was just it was.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
It was playful.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
It was also the creativity starts like going through like
you always talk about how that's a muscle, and we
giggled and knowing and we're like, we're never going to
do this, but this is hilarious, just the thought of it, right.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
Cracking ourselves up, totally cracking ourselves soup.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
Oh, I had a whole idea holy idea about holy
water would be our water section. Or I can have
it blessed by that guy off at sea, is what
I told Suzanne, who blessed my whatever shit it was
I got from him? And no, but see see right,
but like happiness, just joy and laughter about something that
(20:27):
is I personally think would be awesome in real life,
but in the scheme of things a little bit on
the side of ridiculous. So that was yesterday afternoon. I
got home and I turned on an MSNBC because I
wanted to see what was going on with weather, right,
and and then here comes Rain Wilson and he started
(20:52):
this show apparently what he did, because I think I
accidentally watched, though I'm ended up watching the finel. I
didn't watch the rest of the episodes, which I will.
But he traveled around the world looking for happiness of
what made people happy in different cultures, different geographies, all
of these things. So the episode I saw is when
he got home, he's like, I'm home now in LA and.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
What makes me happy here?
Speaker 1 (21:14):
And obviously he loves his wife and loves his son.
That's like not with the question I think that he
was trying to answer, but it was more I think
outside of that, or a part of that inside of him,
outside of him, and he was asking people in LA,
are you happy? And he got a lot of no's right.
(21:34):
I think you find that probably in most American cities,
let's be honest. And he has this.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
Guy that is a.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Therapist and he plays tennis as part of his therapy,
so he's out there hitting balls and talking right, which
I thought was kind of awesome, like I want a
tennis hitting therapists fucking fantastic. And he answered his question
about what's holding him back from happiness and what was
(22:05):
holding him back was actually very grief that he had
not dealt with about his father dying.
Speaker 3 (22:11):
It's always grief, right. We are not skilled to handle grief,
We are not taught to handle grief.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Just holding him back like handcuffs behind his back, you know.
And it's interesting because it also made me think about
and by the way he cries on the show, and
it's totally genuine, and I cried when I watched it,
and and I even cried in our pre talk when
I was talking about him. So I held bunch shit
together and I'm not on an airplane, but it made
(22:42):
me think and why again I wanted to get to
this place and to have this conversation. But I think
you know, I'm a girl that loves an origin story.
So you all got to stuffer through my origin story?
Is I remember, and we've talked about this before when
we first met and you put your hand on my
back and you said, it doesn't have to be this hard,
and through yesterday and through even prior to this, I
(23:05):
but I really was able.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
To pinpoint.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Such a big shift is And the reason I things
were so hard and why it was so hard for
me is that I didn't understand that nothing was permanent
and right, I mean, if you think about it, it's like, well,
of course that's how I thought, and you know, and
it was it was the combo punch of mom dying
and then you know our friend Mona and uh and
(23:33):
then Aunt Marlene let me keep adding up the fucking.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
Ends, right, squad, thank you, m squad. But I wasn't.
I didn't understand.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
I you know, because we go, we cycle, right, there's nothing.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
Nothing is permanent.
Speaker 3 (23:50):
Yeah, we don't talk about it enough though, right, we don't.
And I do think one of the things that makes
us happy is when we have those moments of deep
connection or celebration, and they're a moment when we can
(24:12):
understand this is a moment we actually divorce ourselves from
oh I've got to live at this level all the time.
Now I have to repeat it, right, We can actually
just let ourselves be so happy and present in the moment,
knowing that it's going to leave, right, knowing that this
is going to be gone in five minutes, in two
(24:35):
days or whatever it is, right, but it's it's a moment.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
But that thinking of permanence, I think keeps us away
from happiness. And I think it's also part of what
we've talked about before, is the drug culture, because so
much of it is you know, there was.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
I swear to god, I've talked about this, but it is.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
It was a Lifetime movie with mss Markey Post called
Chasing Chase, Seeing the Dragon, and she was a heroin
addict in the show, and Chasing the Dragon means it's
that the first hit a heroin. Every time an attict
keeps looking for the high from that first hit, and
(25:15):
it's like, you know, first of anything is called the
first for a reason. It is the first, right.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
And so it leads an overdose.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
Yeah, but so it leads to an overdose.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
I didn't mean to get so dark on it, but
that's but part of because I think it's about right.
We've we've talked before about reframing or changing the picture
or I like reframing for this actually, because if you
can see your life like as a as a movie,
let's call it, and there's a frame around it like
you would a static photo, and being able to look
(25:47):
at that frame as yeah, none of this is forever relate.
There's a relationships that won't be forever. People who we
love deeply will not.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
Be there forever. Jobs that we love or relied on
will not be there forever.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
Exactly, you know, our youth. You know, there are people
like these billionaires that are trying to recapture their youth.
They think that's going to make them happy.
Speaker 3 (26:13):
Yeah, and quite frankly, I mean it's not just billionaires.
People are trying to do it in all kinds of ways.
So not every way takes a ton of money. But
you know, this is this is something that we're trying
to do instead of, Hey, what's the version of me now?
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Right?
Speaker 3 (26:28):
How can I? How can I?
Speaker 2 (26:30):
Because youth isn't permanent, right, none of this.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
I think it's that frame of permanence that that was
life changing for me. And you know, again, we're not
here to tell people how to be happy. We are
here to give some guidance, some things to think about,
(26:53):
stuff to chew on. We're going to tell, as we
always do, our own stories about what we've learned about.
This will reference things that we have learned or even
Brenda will eventually get to who's actually taught about happiness?
And which I did not know that until recently, Black
(27:16):
Panther Black Panther. I know, I know, I know. That
took years for me to tell you that weird. Now
I tell you all the time because in our little
in our driving journey Susanna and I had, there was
a street called Panther Parkway and I had to turn around.
I took a shi hook, turned around, parked and took
a picture of that street sign so I could immediately
(27:39):
sit it to Brenda because that's what I do.
Speaker 3 (27:41):
And that made me giggle from really.
Speaker 4 (27:44):
Happiness, right, sheer happiness, sheer happiness.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
But that's part of it is.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
But I think it's reframing, and I think it's I
think it's reframing. I think it's being present and understanding
about what makes us happy right many individually and if
because if you're not present, if you're always moving, which
I used to do, listen anything, I always say I've
done everything wrong.
Speaker 3 (28:11):
You can think of, hey, I'll have our own journey.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
We do right.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
So but I really try to make a mistake once
and only once. Once I know better, I do better
and once I understood. And also feedback is really good too.
You should listen. I don't know what it would hurt
asking somebody when have you seen me the happiest, like,
what is what are we doing?
Speaker 2 (28:32):
What am I doing?
Speaker 1 (28:33):
You know, if you need to have insight and help
from somebody else, ask questions, especially if you want to
if you're open to the answers. Because I'm very open
to the answers, even with my noxious ask personality. Doesn't
mean I'm closed. I am incredibly open to you know,
feedback and even my own and my own head feedback, right,
like allow yourself. And it's not about being critical, it's
(28:58):
like in a bad way. It's more about, h let
me sess this out here.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
The other thing, I think it's really important. First when
you ask for feedback, make sure it's from someone who's
opinion you value.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
Right, Oh, right for sure?
Speaker 3 (29:13):
Right, because you can't don't put it on Facebook.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
Oh my god, please, people don't do that.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
Fuls on TikTok like right, these are people who have
to know.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
You, because that's external. Right, that's the whole thing. You
put stuff out like that, especially to strangers or to
old people you know in high school that you didn't like,
then that you're not exactly going to be getting the
insightfulness that is so important to who we.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
Are and our journey here in our Earth.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
School, right, and I think this is another thing that
can be And we're going to be talking about this
over a couple episodes at least, because it's an essential
awareness to tossess out to out how how it has
meaningful meaningfulness in your life, how can inform you in
(30:05):
your journey. And so even when we think about, oh
I was so happy, you know, oh I can only
be happy when I'm you know, at the four Seasons
on the beach, Well, is that happiness or is that
just like that's that's like temporary bliss, you know, like.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Well it's external, right, yeah, and it's external.
Speaker 3 (30:25):
Just just watch because our our whole culture is is promotes.
It's it's not like our whole culture exists this way,
but we promote what we often see, whether it's in
social or movies or media, is is this externals? But
that's not what we're asking you to reflect upon. We're
(30:46):
asking you to reflect upon what's meaningful? What what does
happiness mean to you? Right? You know that's that's what
we can You know, you came up with the title.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
You know, well, because everybody's happiness blueprint is different, right,
it just is.
Speaker 3 (31:01):
Yeah, and it doesn't mean that you won't have similar
themes or you know, priorities in a way, but it
won't be expressed the same way. So this is literally
an invitation to reflect, to consider, and to just play
with these concepts.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
So that's the invitation, and I recommend to y'all to
accept that invitation from the Witchipoo because it can be
incredibly life changing when you start to really pay attention
to these things. And if you guys hear anything in
the background. One of my little happiness is Rebel and
she's digging on the sofa and it normally makes me
(31:37):
happy because I giggle.
Speaker 3 (31:40):
And she's a happy girl. We're doing it, So.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
He is such a happy girl digging in the sofa.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
But that's the thing.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
It's like, because I think some of the parameters to
help people process through a little bit of this is.
Speaker 2 (31:53):
It doesn't have to be big events.
Speaker 3 (31:56):
No, that's exactly my point. It doesn't have to be
the shite, the.
Speaker 1 (31:59):
Big shiny objects, right, you know, it's gonna be the
little things, the little everyday things, Dane.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
The sacredness in the mundane, you know, the beautiful bloom
you get in, you know, off your tree, or whatever
it is like, it's it's the most extordinary things. It's
it's the little doggy digging in the couch.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
You're like, oh, happy girl, I know, who wouldn't stop
bigg And then I did like a little snap thing.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
If you guys heard it, hey stop.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
Okay, that was actually the verbal hey fucking squint, even
though she's happy. Sorry, But but I I I think, okay,
so you said stop to smell the roses, right or
stop to smell? I think you said flower something there
is and you've talked about it. You said smell something,
(32:46):
and I'm pretty sure it was the flower family.
Speaker 3 (32:49):
I just celebrating a single bloom. It can be something
that small, something that's so much rain and it's so perfect,
it's so beautiful. It just breaks your heart open. You're like, oh,
thank you. You know.
Speaker 1 (32:59):
Okay, well, in my head you said something else. But
my point from what's in my head to what was
actually reality is one of the things that is mentioned
in the study because I did, you know, I kind
of nerded out a little bit last night this morning
about about this whole topic. And there there's this list
(33:20):
of seventeen things you know that have been proven right,
to show happen to for people to feel happy, and
one was actually smelling a rose and I know you
know frequency, yeah, exactly right. And as I was looking
through this list, I started a giggle. I'm like, oh,
I can't wait. Britta's gonna love this.
Speaker 5 (33:40):
She totally knows why, you know, because there are right,
there are health benefits to finding that and whether it
is a scent, right, and especially a rose.
Speaker 1 (33:53):
But if you're happier, you have lower stress, lower anxiety,
which is less cortisol. Cortisol being released into your body,
which will would hurt, which hurts your body. It promotes
different illnesses, sicknesses. You know, it even talks about our
immune system. Get I mean these are like these are
biological things that I write about this morning. But you know,
(34:16):
happiness actually builds a barrier to illness as well sickness.
Speaker 3 (34:22):
And the stress from cortisol breaks down the immune system
right right and its response. So it literally is a
health risk. If we understood this more like we know
it intuitively, but the science, when the science backs it,
it's like, maybe I do want to pay attention to
my you know, three minute breathing exercise or a five
(34:44):
minute meditation to give my body a fighting chance today
because it's going to be a big day, you know,
like these right things we can do and to be
in your own corner to promote your own happiness your
well being.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
Exactly, so we have I'm going to share one last thing,
and I think we probably need to call this U
a day, wrap it up, but we're going to be
bringing this, but I'll just tell I'll share one little
thing that's also recent that is definitely aligned with what
we've been talking about, that I look forward to and
(35:18):
so it makes me happy and it's daily, therefore it's repeatable. Right,
These are some of the structures that we want to
think small, repeatable happy things that are also how that
are also healthy and hopefully. And I had because y'all know,
I read a lot of stuff and stuff and things,
and one of this stuff and things that I read
(35:39):
lately was about this woman that challenged herself because she
read about the benefits to cold press ginger shots, right
like with tuberic and you know, lemon whatever else.
Speaker 3 (35:51):
We're talking about ingesting liquid, not like a shot you
put into a neede.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
Oh thank you, Yes, you're absolutely right.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
Oh my gosh, yes, that would been weird.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
Sorry, if somebody is like filling up their syringe right now,
put it down, walk away. But I read this article
and in it she talked about, you know, skeptical. But
I tried it for thirty days. She would say, it
has changed my life. I feel better, I sleep, I
(36:22):
wake up better. So I started getting those little cold
press you know, juices, and they're tiny little things. And
there's a natural Grocers which is right down the street
from us, and I buy them from there. And I'm
now on my fourth day of doing these ginger shots
(36:42):
and I look forward and I love it.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
Now.
Speaker 1 (36:45):
If ginger tastes like soap, for y'all, you're not gonna
like it, But I love ginger. Well, there's like a
whole taste thing, DNA tastes thing that I think some
people think ginger tastes like soap, like claunch rising Ginger
has the same effect on some people. But to those
of you who don't think ginger tastes like soap, it's fabulous.
And I'm but for real, like I mean, full on.
(37:09):
I can tell you I feel better in the morning
when I wait and all. And she even said after
her first day she felt better and like there's really
quick like it's a very like I mean talk about
like the instant gratification or inctant ish And when I
take suky on walks, I feel better when I'm walk
they had my ginger shot and weirdly not hungry during
(37:30):
that time.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
It's very bizarre.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
But it's a little thing. Yeah, and it makes me
happy and it feels good, right, it feels good for
my body. And that's another that's a category that we'll
talk about. I'm just sharing, but I just wanted to
share before we called this one, you know, quits that
just to share, like there's things that can be that small,
and that's relatively small in the scheme of things. Yeah,
(37:57):
but I just want to share.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
That and it all counts right, and again, tying together
the happiness and wellness is super important. So that's one
thing that will be connecting and drawing lines to and
bringing awareness to over and over in this conversation. Yeah,
so thanks for listening to everybody, and we're going to
(38:19):
let you go go be happy. Remember remember er school is.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
Hard without the other side and er school lessons, y'all.
Speaker 3 (38:30):
Thank you, take care everybody, Thank you for joining us. Everyone,
and a special thanks to our producer Joey Patt and
our executive producer Maya Cole Howard, who guides us well
we guide you.
Speaker 1 (38:49):
Hit us up on Instagram at other Side Guides, or
shoot us a note at high Hi at vibes dot Store.
Speaker 3 (38:57):
We want to know what you think, we want to
know what you know, and we want to hear your stories.
Speaker 1 (39:02):
And remember, our school is hard without the other Side.
Insider's Guide to the Other Side is a production of iHeartRadio.
For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Spotify,
Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Welcome to Insider's Guide to the Other Side, a production
of iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Hi, y'all, I'm Julie.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
Hi there, I'm Brenda. Welcome to Insider's Guide to the
other Side.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Now, y'all need to know that we are obsessed with
everything on the other side.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
Yes, we are, because once you learn to navigate the energetic,
or to some the invisible world, life is going to
be more fun and much more serene.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Uh heck, yes it can. Because, let's be honest, br in,
earth school is hard.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
In fact, you taught me that let's crush Earth School together.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Well, hello, why do you laugh every I haven't even
said anything hardly. I just said, well, he well, hell
is all I got to saying, well, hello, my witchyoo,
how were you?
Speaker 3 (01:02):
I am. I'm very happy to be speaking with you.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Oh my god, that's hilarious.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Always love to make you giggle, because you know, that's
a form of happiness.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
It is such a good farm.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
It's like a newport gesture. I guess that's just being
an elf.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
Right is that redundant? I don't know?
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Okay, speaking of elf By the way, just to follow
up really quickly from another one of our episodes, there.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
We talked about.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Sue Elf and training, who was asking about solar flares
and how I had to spend the ten bucks. She
she actually uh sent me ten dollars on I don't
know his PayPal or Venmo whatever the hell. It was
some bullshit digital something. But yeah, she's so so we're square.
(01:55):
Uh we're squares.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
I thought it was. I thought it was clean karma.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
I like that.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
I appreciate right right right.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
I thought it was she did it out of the blue,
so it was really hilarious. So, you know, there is
it's I think that we have been a little remiss
about not focusing on you know, a what is happiness
and how do you find your own for our listeners.
(02:26):
And it's like we've done a bazillion fucking shows and
not I know, two hundred, but but we haven't focused
on this, I mean solely focused.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
Yeah, we've stanced around it, whether it's self care or
tending to your high five.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
Oh for sure, for sure, I've.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
Related all contributing to but you haven't hit the target.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Right. We've done the cha chaw and dancing around it, right,
and but we haven't like gone head on with it.
And you know, there's just so much out there, and
I feel like I feel like every day there's even more.
And there's pressure, right, So there's a lot from television, perspective, books,
there's different you know, podcasts, podcast gurus, whatever it is
(03:15):
about finding your happiness, right, and so there feels like
there's a lot of pressure.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
And because we're social.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
Animals, does not create the happiness, No.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
It doesn't.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Actually, there's been studies that those who have this intentional
drive to seek it out actually end up at a
deficit from where they started before they you know, kind
of went on their.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Mission for happiness.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
Agreed, And I.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Just you know, let's fucking talk about it, and pussing
makes me happy. And and I and I and I
actually just you know, and I know when I do
this it can embarrass you sometimes. But one of the
ways that I actually learned happiness and how to find
(04:07):
it and how to like hold it was actually with
through tourou And I know you love it. We all
fucking know you love Touro, but it is it's like
saying the obvious, right, It's like, did Julie like Terry Pie? Yeah, duh, dummy,
But I think that and I want to talk about
a little because I know you've been teaching. I think
(04:28):
you just finished up a Terror two class and I
just yeah, and I think you have another one coming up,
which we'll get to. But I want to talk about
TROW in a little bit of a different way than
I have before, as you know, a student of yours,
being on the other side of the table from you,
and about what it opened up for me and why
it actually helped me find happiness because it did, and
(04:53):
I think because of the major arcane of cards, because
it takes you through what do you call it, like
an archetypical life kind of thing?
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Is that what you the journal?
Speaker 3 (05:03):
The journey journal? Yeah? So so it's the expansion and
contraction of our school, right, those things that just squeeze
you and can restrict you to find your own resilience
so that you can expand out further. Right, It's this
natural pulsation that is part of our journey. It's it's
(05:23):
not a mistake, it's not a punishment, it's not a
you are not worthy. It literally is challenging to strengthen
you and show you to yourself all that you are. Yeah,
and extraordinary sacred journey.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Oh, I love it and also as you weave through it.
By the way, I'm actually using hand hand signals apparently
just for you, Brenda, because somebody else can see me.
But you're like a like a fish swimming like a
weaving through it is.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
I think there's a lot more.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
I think there's so much to it, like on a
on a like on levels that we don't give it
credit for.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
Well, yeah, because you can you can actually see yourself right,
You're like, oh, I've been there, I've been there, which
makes you such a compassionate reader. Yes, it does, and
and human right, and it gets you in touch with
the compassion for yourself right and to go, oh, gosh,
I remember that that that made me better. I never
(06:26):
would have chosen that, but it really helped me be
better right.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Right, and compassionate with others and most importantly, compassionate with
yourself right like exactly exactly and knowing right. So for me,
the happiness part of it is knowing that I don't
have to be in that phase forever, especially if it
doesn't feel good, and also knowing that even like the
(06:51):
great parts that are that are elated, knowing that that's
not forever.
Speaker 3 (06:55):
Either exactly right, Yes, and to know that it is.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
A journey and it is that because sometimes when the
bad things are happening, people think that's forever and it
causes a lot of depression.
Speaker 4 (07:08):
Yeah, it feels like it's going to last forever in
the moment, correct, correct, But it's a journey, right, so
you can continue to the next step and you're always evolving.
And that whole uh saying, you know, you never step
in the same river twice because I change, right, You've changed.
That's the one thing that changes.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
That's the thing that I That's the one thing I
took away from my philosophy class in college. Was that
the philosopher who said you don't walk through the same
river twice? Yeah, and literally that's all I got from it. Boy,
that was probably that was probably a very expensive class,
but what a great lesson. It's totally true.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
It's probably more than you remember from some other classes.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Oh, there's no doubt about that. There's no doubt.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
And I will not go off in a tangent, which
I could, but I'm not. I'm gonna go back to
where we were happiness. But I think it's like, like, listen,
we're all different humans, right, and we all started out different.
We all go through our different journeys. And I think
what for me that was so powerful was that I
(08:14):
realized that not everything is permanent. Which I know that
might sound naive to some and I think it by
the other that's rebel trotting by. But she talked about
not walking through the same anything twice as a dog
every day is a new journey for her.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
But but.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
It it for and I think it was naive for me, right,
I mean, I like if I felt, if I felt
a lot of I don't know, devastation about something, it's
like that it felt like that devastation was never going
to end, but I didn't realize that it was going
to end, because nothing is permanent, right. And then the
other part of it is building that, you know, the spirituality.
(08:57):
So spirituality has been shown in studies over and over
to contribute to happiness. And so however you define what
your spirituality is, whether it's a particular religion, whether it's
a broad kind of sense of spirituality, which is what
I claim that.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
Well, it's usually I mean to something bigger, anything.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Anything bigger than me, correct, And so to me, this
contributes to that, and that is such a huge part
of self right and that connection, and it's also something
to row. Unlike I think a lot of other faith
based type of religions, I can really share this with
(09:39):
no harm. I'm not trying to recruit. I'm not trying
to do any of those things. I literally am not
a recruiter anyway, because I'm not a joiner. So if
you're not a joiner, you're not a recruiter, which is
totally true, which is also part of my happiness. Right,
I'm actually not a joiner, and I'm perfectly happy about that.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
But it's this.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
So when people consider this in their life, I wanted
just to add some other layers. Since we were talking
about happiness, the first thing that came to my mind
because some of the happiest times for me was reading
cards for other people.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
And also.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
I would pay attention to how I felt about it
because the first thing I had to do was I
had to let go whatever it was right because it
wasn't mine, and if there's anything mine, I needed to
resolve it.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
And I think I was sorry, go ahead, y, no, please,
you go. Well, I was just thinking, you know, every
time you sit for turou, you have to be fully
present and this is one of the characteristics they talk
about over and over about happiness to you know, if
we're focused on the future, sometimes not always, but often,
(10:48):
we can have anxiety or worry, right, And some of
it's anticipatory excitement, but a lot of it is concerned.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Or dread, dread or lots of red people have.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
Yeah, I do. Yeah, I mean sometimes and a lot
of times if we focus on the past, it has
to do with regret, it has to do with sorrow,
it has you know, something that or even trauma, you know,
some embarrassing moment or something like that. And so what
happens when you sit to read? Do you have to
be one hundred percent present? And it's really helpful to
(11:26):
your biology, to your state of mind to be present.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
Right, And even that anxiety we have before embarking on
something new is natural and normal.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
I had it.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
I was like, because of course I had it, because
you told me to quit faking it and then I
need to actually take a class. So let's just be
real honest that I didn't know what the fuck I
was doing. But but there is an anxiety like, oh,
I'm not going to be any good, Like we have
self doubt, we have anxiety, We have all of that,
but I think that's natural and I think we're supposed
to have it, and I have found that I've had
lots of other things too. Before embarking on something new.
Speaker 3 (12:04):
I woant to say that all of the students right,
small class, there's only ten students because we have to
get through ten readings in a weekend where one person
gets to read and we get to watch for every
single of one of the ten. And the reader had
anxiety every single time. They didn't know who they were
reading for. It's not that they didn't know the cards.
(12:26):
It's not that they didn't know how to train to
you know, interpret the spread. They just had to be
fully present and jump of It's like jumping is like
you're the full card, so you have to take that
initial leap. You have to have faith for every reading,
actually every time every card. Yeah, because you never know
(12:47):
what's going to come up and what you're going to
deal with, what the client's reaction is going to be.
You just have to be fully present and trust the
cards and that those things of repeatable practice of being
fully present is super critical and contributes to happiness. So
tureau great spiritual practice also a great happiness practice. Just
(13:08):
making a plug shameless.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Well actually, well, but the thing is, I'm actually not
making a plug. I'm actually just putting a call out
to it to anybody that is interested in finding more
of a connection to the divine to their for whatever
their spiritual beliefs are. This is no reason it can
conflict with anybody's whatever that exists for them. But also
(13:32):
it is you're going to get more than you think
you are, right because there is an aspect to it
that is serving others, but there's so much about you
get served too. And I think that's the part that
I feel like I haven't talked about about being a
student of it that and I'll we'll get to the
next segment and to kind of just explain why this
is such an important topic right now I think, or
(13:55):
why at least the stars have led me in this
direction to discuss this at length. But I just want
folks to know that there's so much more there, right,
There's so much more there for them, and there's so
much more into with your own spo because then you're open,
and so much more happens when you're open. And again,
I think that being present part which has always been
(14:17):
hard for a guy like me, was absolutely magical. I
love being present, I really do. Sometimes it's hard, sometimes
I have to force myself. But this helps get into
that practice of being more present. So I think you're
teaching again, Will you tell everybody.
Speaker 3 (14:34):
I'm teaching at Eslin the week of September eleventh through
the fifteenth, and that's level one. That's level one to ROSSO.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
That was fun.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
They're all fun, but that was really fun because I
talk about everything is new, like that's the cool thing.
Like you start learning the cards and what they mean,
and and so how can people.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Find it?
Speaker 3 (14:54):
They can I just go to Eslin dot com E
S A L e N dot com.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Perfect. I love that.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
And again, in normal circumstances, this would be a great
thing to do. But the fact that we are, you
know what, four years, three years, three and a half
into COVID, it has messed us all up, you know, no,
for real, Like I have I have all been well,
(15:26):
it's a reset and and it's messy. Resets are messy,
and I have I just read recently this article about
why we're so mean to one another, and I think
that's a part of it. And so this is I
think a way to kind of take a step in
the right direction and not just take a step in
(15:46):
the in the sheep harder direction that I think a
lot of people just follow suit. Right, this is a
different suit to follow.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
So I'm your humanity. Yeah, it's going to be amazing.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
Yeah, So anyway, I I I just think that was
what I thought about happiness. That was the first place
I went. And so I'm glad you're teaching another class.
So we're gonna take a quick break and we're gonna
talk more about why we want to talk about happiness,
what it is? What the fuck is happiness?
Speaker 3 (16:22):
And welcome back.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
Thanks, I'm so happy to be back. Oh my god,
how many time we're gonna up drive everybody nuts? I
will say, Oh that makes me happy or is happy
to hear that.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
I'm never gonna stop saying that. Oh good, that is
part of my practice.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
Perfect.
Speaker 3 (16:39):
So tell us why we're here today. Well, yeah, it's.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
I think it's been brewing.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
It's one of those topics that have been brewing, and
I have really paid a lot of attention lately to
about what actually makes me happy and then discovering things
that have always been there, but now I can actually
call it that. I've also been watching this show. It's
(17:08):
Rain Wilson, who was in the office. For those that
don't know, we also did a movie with him, so
just funny side note, we did this movie with him
after I first joined Fox and no I can't remember
the name of it, but somebody we'll find it. And
what's funny is we did this. We did this kind
of promotion shoot with him, and he had on this
(17:30):
shirt and it was this white shirt with kind of
ruffles at the end or flare at the at the
at the cuffs, and for some reason he left it
there and I took it. Had nowhere to tell, like
where do I do with this? Let was just throw
it away and so I had it and Susan I
was like, wait a second, I'm going to wash that.
That's gonna be my Halloween costume as a pirate. And
(17:50):
she has worn that Rain Wilson shirt for fifteen fucking
years as a pirate. So anyway, I've been watching Rain
Wilson show.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
That is hold on.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
I'm going to tell you what the title of it
is because I think it's actually based on a book,
but it's called oh uh, Geography. Of Bliss is what
he calls it, and it was on It's it's actually
on Peacock for those of streaming, I watched it on MSNBC,
uh big web tard and I also bring joy in
(18:24):
making fun of stupid names people call in general swaths
of people. So it was interesting because this all happened yesterday,
so bear with me on this is Susanne and I
went out and did like little exploration driving around kind
of our area of New Mexico, and we went to
these cute little towns and one of them is called Madrid,
(18:49):
which is spelled like Madrid, and it's like.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
So sweet and cute, and we drove to.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
Another one and we're like, where's the town and it
wasn't there, and we're driving around. We end up getting
on I twenty five North, which is toward Las Vegas, Nevada,
and there was this abandoned church and we had the
best time, probably two hours of our drive giggling about
if we bought that church and turn it into a
general store, like a convenience store and what we would
(19:16):
call things like so seriously, like it still is bringing
me joy thinking about it, like we would have, you know,
made to order, you know, holy guacamole, we would have
holy donuts. Of course you'd have to have deviled eggs, right,
I mean, who doesn't need a devil day at the
at their Holy Roller General store and not that, right,
(19:42):
But it was just it was.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
It was playful.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
It was also the creativity starts like going through like
you always talk about how that's a muscle, and we
giggled and knowing and we're like, we're never going to
do this, but this is hilarious, just the thought of it, right.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
Cracking ourselves up, totally cracking ourselves soup.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
Oh, I had a whole idea holy idea about holy
water would be our water section. Or I can have
it blessed by that guy off at sea, is what
I told Suzanne, who blessed my whatever shit it was
I got from him? And no, but see see right,
but like happiness, just joy and laughter about something that
(20:27):
is I personally think would be awesome in real life,
but in the scheme of things a little bit on
the side of ridiculous. So that was yesterday afternoon. I
got home and I turned on an MSNBC because I
wanted to see what was going on with weather, right,
and and then here comes Rain Wilson and he started
(20:52):
this show apparently what he did, because I think I
accidentally watched, though I'm ended up watching the finel. I
didn't watch the rest of the episodes, which I will.
But he traveled around the world looking for happiness of
what made people happy in different cultures, different geographies, all
of these things. So the episode I saw is when
he got home, he's like, I'm home now in LA and.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
What makes me happy here?
Speaker 1 (21:14):
And obviously he loves his wife and loves his son.
That's like not with the question I think that he
was trying to answer, but it was more I think
outside of that, or a part of that inside of him,
outside of him, and he was asking people in LA,
are you happy? And he got a lot of no's right.
(21:34):
I think you find that probably in most American cities,
let's be honest. And he has this.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
Guy that is a.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Therapist and he plays tennis as part of his therapy,
so he's out there hitting balls and talking right, which
I thought was kind of awesome, like I want a
tennis hitting therapists fucking fantastic. And he answered his question
about what's holding him back from happiness and what was
(22:05):
holding him back was actually very grief that he had
not dealt with about his father dying.
Speaker 3 (22:11):
It's always grief, right. We are not skilled to handle grief,
We are not taught to handle grief.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Just holding him back like handcuffs behind his back, you know.
And it's interesting because it also made me think about
and by the way he cries on the show, and
it's totally genuine, and I cried when I watched it,
and and I even cried in our pre talk when
I was talking about him. So I held bunch shit
together and I'm not on an airplane, but it made
(22:42):
me think and why again I wanted to get to
this place and to have this conversation. But I think
you know, I'm a girl that loves an origin story.
So you all got to stuffer through my origin story?
Is I remember, and we've talked about this before when
we first met and you put your hand on my
back and you said, it doesn't have to be this hard,
and through yesterday and through even prior to this, I
(23:05):
but I really was able.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
To pinpoint.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Such a big shift is And the reason I things
were so hard and why it was so hard for
me is that I didn't understand that nothing was permanent
and right, I mean, if you think about it, it's like, well,
of course that's how I thought, and you know, and
it was it was the combo punch of mom dying
and then you know our friend Mona and uh and
(23:33):
then Aunt Marlene let me keep adding up the fucking.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
Ends, right, squad, thank you, m squad. But I wasn't.
I didn't understand.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
I you know, because we go, we cycle, right, there's nothing.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
Nothing is permanent.
Speaker 3 (23:50):
Yeah, we don't talk about it enough though, right, we don't.
And I do think one of the things that makes
us happy is when we have those moments of deep
connection or celebration, and they're a moment when we can
(24:12):
understand this is a moment we actually divorce ourselves from
oh I've got to live at this level all the time.
Now I have to repeat it, right, We can actually
just let ourselves be so happy and present in the moment,
knowing that it's going to leave, right, knowing that this
is going to be gone in five minutes, in two
(24:35):
days or whatever it is, right, but it's it's a moment.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
But that thinking of permanence, I think keeps us away
from happiness. And I think it's also part of what
we've talked about before, is the drug culture, because so
much of it is you know, there was.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
I swear to god, I've talked about this, but it is.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
It was a Lifetime movie with mss Markey Post called
Chasing Chase, Seeing the Dragon, and she was a heroin
addict in the show, and Chasing the Dragon means it's
that the first hit a heroin. Every time an attict
keeps looking for the high from that first hit, and
(25:15):
it's like, you know, first of anything is called the
first for a reason. It is the first, right.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
And so it leads an overdose.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
Yeah, but so it leads to an overdose.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
I didn't mean to get so dark on it, but
that's but part of because I think it's about right.
We've we've talked before about reframing or changing the picture
or I like reframing for this actually, because if you
can see your life like as a as a movie,
let's call it, and there's a frame around it like
you would a static photo, and being able to look
(25:47):
at that frame as yeah, none of this is forever relate.
There's a relationships that won't be forever. People who we
love deeply will not.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
Be there forever. Jobs that we love or relied on
will not be there forever.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
Exactly, you know, our youth. You know, there are people
like these billionaires that are trying to recapture their youth.
They think that's going to make them happy.
Speaker 3 (26:13):
Yeah, and quite frankly, I mean it's not just billionaires.
People are trying to do it in all kinds of ways.
So not every way takes a ton of money. But
you know, this is this is something that we're trying
to do instead of, Hey, what's the version of me now?
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Right?
Speaker 3 (26:28):
How can I? How can I?
Speaker 2 (26:30):
Because youth isn't permanent, right, none of this.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
I think it's that frame of permanence that that was
life changing for me. And you know, again, we're not
here to tell people how to be happy. We are
here to give some guidance, some things to think about,
(26:53):
stuff to chew on. We're going to tell, as we
always do, our own stories about what we've learned about.
This will reference things that we have learned or even
Brenda will eventually get to who's actually taught about happiness?
And which I did not know that until recently, Black
(27:16):
Panther Black Panther. I know, I know, I know. That
took years for me to tell you that weird. Now
I tell you all the time because in our little
in our driving journey Susanna and I had, there was
a street called Panther Parkway and I had to turn around.
I took a shi hook, turned around, parked and took
a picture of that street sign so I could immediately
(27:39):
sit it to Brenda because that's what I do.
Speaker 3 (27:41):
And that made me giggle from really.
Speaker 4 (27:44):
Happiness, right, sheer happiness, sheer happiness.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
But that's part of it is.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
But I think it's reframing, and I think it's I
think it's reframing. I think it's being present and understanding
about what makes us happy right many individually and if
because if you're not present, if you're always moving, which
I used to do, listen anything, I always say I've
done everything wrong.
Speaker 3 (28:11):
You can think of, hey, I'll have our own journey.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
We do right.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
So but I really try to make a mistake once
and only once. Once I know better, I do better
and once I understood. And also feedback is really good too.
You should listen. I don't know what it would hurt
asking somebody when have you seen me the happiest, like,
what is what are we doing?
Speaker 2 (28:32):
What am I doing?
Speaker 1 (28:33):
You know, if you need to have insight and help
from somebody else, ask questions, especially if you want to
if you're open to the answers. Because I'm very open
to the answers, even with my noxious ask personality. Doesn't
mean I'm closed. I am incredibly open to you know,
feedback and even my own and my own head feedback, right,
like allow yourself. And it's not about being critical, it's
(28:58):
like in a bad way. It's more about, h let
me sess this out here.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
The other thing, I think it's really important. First when
you ask for feedback, make sure it's from someone who's
opinion you value.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
Right, Oh, right for sure?
Speaker 3 (29:13):
Right, because you can't don't put it on Facebook.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
Oh my god, please, people don't do that.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
Fuls on TikTok like right, these are people who have
to know.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
You, because that's external. Right, that's the whole thing. You
put stuff out like that, especially to strangers or to
old people you know in high school that you didn't like,
then that you're not exactly going to be getting the
insightfulness that is so important to who we.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
Are and our journey here in our Earth.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
School, right, and I think this is another thing that
can be And we're going to be talking about this
over a couple episodes at least, because it's an essential
awareness to tossess out to out how how it has
meaningful meaningfulness in your life, how can inform you in
(30:05):
your journey. And so even when we think about, oh
I was so happy, you know, oh I can only
be happy when I'm you know, at the four Seasons
on the beach, Well, is that happiness or is that
just like that's that's like temporary bliss, you know, like.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Well it's external, right, yeah, and it's external.
Speaker 3 (30:25):
Just just watch because our our whole culture is is promotes.
It's it's not like our whole culture exists this way,
but we promote what we often see, whether it's in
social or movies or media, is is this externals? But
that's not what we're asking you to reflect upon. We're
(30:46):
asking you to reflect upon what's meaningful? What what does
happiness mean to you? Right? You know that's that's what
we can You know, you came up with the title.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
You know, well, because everybody's happiness blueprint is different, right,
it just is.
Speaker 3 (31:01):
Yeah, and it doesn't mean that you won't have similar
themes or you know, priorities in a way, but it
won't be expressed the same way. So this is literally
an invitation to reflect, to consider, and to just play
with these concepts.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
So that's the invitation, and I recommend to y'all to
accept that invitation from the Witchipoo because it can be
incredibly life changing when you start to really pay attention
to these things. And if you guys hear anything in
the background. One of my little happiness is Rebel and
she's digging on the sofa and it normally makes me
(31:37):
happy because I giggle.
Speaker 3 (31:40):
And she's a happy girl. We're doing it, So.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
He is such a happy girl digging in the sofa.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
But that's the thing.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
It's like, because I think some of the parameters to
help people process through a little bit of this is.
Speaker 2 (31:53):
It doesn't have to be big events.
Speaker 3 (31:56):
No, that's exactly my point. It doesn't have to be
the shite, the.
Speaker 1 (31:59):
Big shiny objects, right, you know, it's gonna be the
little things, the little everyday things, Dane.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
The sacredness in the mundane, you know, the beautiful bloom
you get in, you know, off your tree, or whatever
it is like, it's it's the most extordinary things. It's
it's the little doggy digging in the couch.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
You're like, oh, happy girl, I know, who wouldn't stop
bigg And then I did like a little snap thing.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
If you guys heard it, hey stop.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
Okay, that was actually the verbal hey fucking squint, even
though she's happy. Sorry, But but I I I think, okay,
so you said stop to smell the roses, right or
stop to smell? I think you said flower something there
is and you've talked about it. You said smell something,
(32:46):
and I'm pretty sure it was the flower family.
Speaker 3 (32:49):
I just celebrating a single bloom. It can be something
that small, something that's so much rain and it's so perfect,
it's so beautiful. It just breaks your heart open. You're like, oh,
thank you. You know.
Speaker 1 (32:59):
Okay, well, in my head you said something else. But
my point from what's in my head to what was
actually reality is one of the things that is mentioned
in the study because I did, you know, I kind
of nerded out a little bit last night this morning
about about this whole topic. And there there's this list
(33:20):
of seventeen things you know that have been proven right,
to show happen to for people to feel happy, and
one was actually smelling a rose and I know you
know frequency, yeah, exactly right. And as I was looking
through this list, I started a giggle. I'm like, oh,
I can't wait. Britta's gonna love this.
Speaker 5 (33:40):
She totally knows why, you know, because there are right,
there are health benefits to finding that and whether it
is a scent, right, and especially a rose.
Speaker 1 (33:53):
But if you're happier, you have lower stress, lower anxiety,
which is less cortisol. Cortisol being released into your body,
which will would hurt, which hurts your body. It promotes
different illnesses, sicknesses. You know, it even talks about our
immune system. Get I mean these are like these are
biological things that I write about this morning. But you know,
(34:16):
happiness actually builds a barrier to illness as well sickness.
Speaker 3 (34:22):
And the stress from cortisol breaks down the immune system
right right and its response. So it literally is a
health risk. If we understood this more like we know
it intuitively, but the science, when the science backs it,
it's like, maybe I do want to pay attention to
my you know, three minute breathing exercise or a five
(34:44):
minute meditation to give my body a fighting chance today
because it's going to be a big day, you know,
like these right things we can do and to be
in your own corner to promote your own happiness your
well being.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
Exactly, so we have I'm going to share one last thing,
and I think we probably need to call this U
a day, wrap it up, but we're going to be
bringing this, but I'll just tell I'll share one little
thing that's also recent that is definitely aligned with what
we've been talking about, that I look forward to and
(35:18):
so it makes me happy and it's daily, therefore it's repeatable. Right,
These are some of the structures that we want to
think small, repeatable happy things that are also how that
are also healthy and hopefully. And I had because y'all know,
I read a lot of stuff and stuff and things,
and one of this stuff and things that I read
(35:39):
lately was about this woman that challenged herself because she
read about the benefits to cold press ginger shots, right
like with tuberic and you know, lemon whatever else.
Speaker 3 (35:51):
We're talking about ingesting liquid, not like a shot you
put into a neede.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
Oh thank you, Yes, you're absolutely right.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
Oh my gosh, yes, that would been weird.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
Sorry, if somebody is like filling up their syringe right now,
put it down, walk away. But I read this article
and in it she talked about, you know, skeptical. But
I tried it for thirty days. She would say, it
has changed my life. I feel better, I sleep, I
(36:22):
wake up better. So I started getting those little cold
press you know, juices, and they're tiny little things. And
there's a natural Grocers which is right down the street
from us, and I buy them from there. And I'm
now on my fourth day of doing these ginger shots
(36:42):
and I look forward and I love it.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
Now.
Speaker 1 (36:45):
If ginger tastes like soap, for y'all, you're not gonna
like it, But I love ginger. Well, there's like a
whole taste thing, DNA tastes thing that I think some
people think ginger tastes like soap, like claunch rising Ginger
has the same effect on some people. But to those
of you who don't think ginger tastes like soap, it's fabulous.
And I'm but for real, like I mean, full on.
(37:09):
I can tell you I feel better in the morning
when I wait and all. And she even said after
her first day she felt better and like there's really
quick like it's a very like I mean talk about
like the instant gratification or inctant ish And when I
take suky on walks, I feel better when I'm walk
they had my ginger shot and weirdly not hungry during
(37:30):
that time.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
It's very bizarre.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
But it's a little thing. Yeah, and it makes me
happy and it feels good, right, it feels good for
my body. And that's another that's a category that we'll
talk about. I'm just sharing, but I just wanted to
share before we called this one, you know, quits that
just to share, like there's things that can be that small,
and that's relatively small in the scheme of things. Yeah,
(37:57):
but I just want to share.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
That and it all counts right, and again, tying together
the happiness and wellness is super important. So that's one
thing that will be connecting and drawing lines to and
bringing awareness to over and over in this conversation. Yeah,
so thanks for listening to everybody, and we're going to
(38:19):
let you go go be happy. Remember remember er school is.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
Hard without the other side and er school lessons, y'all.
Speaker 3 (38:30):
Thank you, take care everybody, Thank you for joining us. Everyone,
and a special thanks to our producer Joey Patt and
our executive producer Maya Cole Howard, who guides us well
we guide you.
Speaker 1 (38:49):
Hit us up on Instagram at other Side Guides, or
shoot us a note at high Hi at vibes dot Store.
Speaker 3 (38:57):
We want to know what you think, we want to
know what you know, and we want to hear your stories.
Speaker 1 (39:02):
And remember, our school is hard without the other Side.
Insider's Guide to the Other Side is a production of iHeartRadio.
For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Spotify,
Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.