December 26, 2023 • 35 mins
This week, Tommy is joined by the brilliant actor Martin Henderson, star of the hit Netflix series, Virgin River. The show is a romance drama that is quite often described as “comfort viewing,” adapted from the long-running romance book series by author Robyn Carr. When every new season drops, it immediately shoots to #1 on the Netflix charts. Today Martin opens up about a show that is so meaningful and special to him, and takes us into the world of Virgin River through his perspective. But we also talk about how he has evolved as a human being over the years, the importance of protecting his peace, why men need to feel safe to express their emotions, and how the internet has named him one of the most swoon-worthy stars in all of television.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey guys, welcome to I've never said this before with
me Tommy Didario. Today's guest is the wonderfully talented actor
Martin Henderson, who quite often hangs out at the number
one spot on the Netflix charts with his smash hit
series Virgin River. Yeah, he's kind of a big deal.
(00:23):
Virgin River is an American romance drama series that is
quite often described as comfort viewing. It's adapted from the
long running romance book series by author Robin Carr, and
people have fallen in love with Virgin River because of
well many reasons. But for one, it's heartwarming and it's
a small town show with just the right amount of
(00:45):
romance and charm. But also there's some pretty high stakes drama. Listen,
we live in a world that seems to get harder
and harder to navigate, so a show like this has
been described as a medicine for the soul. It is
pure escape at its finest. Today we celebrate Martin's work
in Virgin River and we hear him reflect on a
(01:06):
show that is clearly so special to him. But he
also opens up about the real man behind the fan
favorite character. We talk about how he has evolved as
a human being over the years, the ways that he
protects his peace, why men need to feel safe to
express their emotions, and so much more so, Let's see
(01:27):
if today we can get Martin to say something that
he's never said before. Martin Henderson, how you doing, my friend?
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Oh? I'm good, man, I'm good. How are you?
Speaker 1 (01:43):
I am fantastic. You were just telling me you got
off a flight at your back home and you're a
little tired today.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Huh, Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
I kind of lied. You're right, you asked me how
I was.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
I'm exhausted. Other than that, I'm pretty good. How you doing?
Speaker 1 (01:57):
I am fantastic. I'm so happy you are hanging out
with me today. We talked a few years ago. Time flies, man,
So I'm glad to reconnect and talk about all the
fun things. But I have to begin by giving you
a little piece of information that you might not be
aware of. Are you ready for it?
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Yeah, I'm lucky. I'm sitting down. Yeah, go for it.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Did you know that the Internet has named you one
of the most swoon worthy stars on all of television?
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Spoon worthy?
Speaker 1 (02:25):
Swoon I mean probably spoon worthy to people. Probably my spoon.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
Like sit of cuddle. I thought that's a little vanilla.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Well, listen, that's not a bad thing. And I'm sure
many people want to spoon and be spooned by you,
but swoon with the w you were one of the
most swoon worthy stars according to the World Wide Web.
How does that make you feel? Do you want to
say a few words.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
Wow, I don't. I don't really trust what you read,
so I don't know exactly how you quantify that, what
source it is. But that's very flattering. I'll take it.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
That's very nice.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
There's enough people out there that seem to think that
that it's come up in this endy you, so the
you go us have some validity to it.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
I had a trophy and you were here, I would
hand you the trophy. So starting off with the big honor, now,
I feel like you should have number one tattooed on
your forehead because every time a new season of Virgin
River drops, it soars to number one on Netflix, every
single time. So, first of all, for everybody listening, for
those who maybe haven't had a chance to check out
(03:24):
this series, although I don't think there are many people,
but for the people that haven't, in your words, as
a star of the show, How would you describe this show?
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Well, first of all, as we'll say, I do have
a number one tattooed, but I can't show you, you know,
how would I describe the show? I feel like it's
a feel good show, and I think the show in
and of itself is a very good show. It's a
very well made show, but it is coore. The engine
(03:53):
of the show really is is love story between It's
burgeoning love story between Melan Jack, so it leads with
the heart and all the characters around that in the community.
Most of the storylines deal with people's feelings, and I
think we live in a time when, you know, obviously
(04:13):
there's a lot of it feels like it's getting worse.
But I don't know, maybe the world's always been this
dark and trouble, but there's just so much out there
that we constantly get fed through our social media and
our news feeds. There's just heavy and dark and divisive
and conflicted. And here's the show that has so much
love and such unapologetic feeling to it that I think
(04:37):
people are drawn to that because a there's just not
a lot of that out there at the moment, and
it does it very well. But I also think it
does it without being too saccharine, because you know, there's
the hallmarks in the lifetimes and the versions of these
kind of stories that can get a little bit sappy,
And of course Virgin River has a lot of sap
at times, but it is definitely peppered with some darker
(05:00):
emotions and some heavier things that the characters have to
go through. There's you know, all of the characters really
get confronted by some form of loss or something unrequited,
or heartache or trouble or physical ailments, you know, so
it's sort of got a nice balance whilst always managing
to make you feel good. I think.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Yeah, And you've been playing the character of Jack for
five seasons now going on six. What do you most
appreciate about playing this role.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
I really like the role. And when they offered me
the part whatever that was six years ago, five years ago,
there was you know, I read the pilot script and
it was good. I was a little concerned because you know,
I knew that it was based on a romance novel.
I thought, oh, man, is that what we're going to do?
Because that didn't really appeal. But the character of Jack had.
(05:50):
Particularly after talking with the writers, I realized there was
enough of a dimension to the guy, because clearly, you know,
he's he's designing to be very heroic, and you might
say very much a fantasy, you know, this male fantasy,
and I think that can be one dimensional. But there
was enough sort of subterranean angst and dark emotions that
(06:13):
he was dealing with and his demons, and I thought
that was interesting. I thought, Okay, here's someone that at
first glances charming and says all the right things, and
he turns out to be very romantic, but he's also
quite complex and there's some contradictions, and I just I
really thought that I could do a decent job with
that kind of job on a show like this. So yeah,
(06:34):
I'm really thrilled to play the part. I feel like
I've let myself down, though, because now there's this expectation
for me to be as amazing as Jack as a
big shoots a phil But yeah, it's an honor, you know,
and I think all actors would be lying if they
didn't say that. Ultimately, we want people to watch what
(06:54):
we do, and you know, obviously it's created a huge.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
Following, and that's just humbling and very.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Rewarding, you know, because we go to work and we
do work really really hard from the beginning, from the
day one to make the show the best version that
it could be. And it seems like people responded, and
everywhere I go, oh, we love Jack, we love Jack.
And that feels really good that I've managed to create
a character that people have responded so favorably too.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
They certainly have man, and I think what's so cool
about the character you created is he is, you know,
this quote unquote ideal man, but you also play him
in such a vulnerable way, and it shows that, you know,
man can have emotions and be vulnerable and be raw.
Are you a vulnerable person like your character or are
(07:44):
you a little bit less emotional?
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Well, given that the show, if you actually analyze it
and some of the hardcore fans have, you know, if
you look at the fact that Charmaine has only just
had heard Twins, the show's gone over very short. You know,
it is nine months or so. I don't think I've
had that amount of emotion over an month period. I
don't think I go through quite that much. But obviously
(08:10):
the emotions that I want to access to express honestly
through the character our mine. So I guess i'd have
to say that, yes, you know, I have those emotions,
otherwise I wouldn't be able to access them, you know,
for the character. And I appreciate you bringing up because
I think it's something that I do feel quite strongly about,
(08:32):
because you know, I grew up in New Zealand and
I think it's similar to the world over, but definitely here.
You know, there's a sense growing our boys don't cry,
you know, And I think it's kind of shocking that
that that sort of phrase is so embedded in the
sort of collective consciousness that it's given almost as a truism, like, oh,
boys don't cry, you know, at least when I was
(08:53):
growing up, you know, and I think the generation before
it was even more hardcore, believed that that was the case.
And that's crazy. That's like saying humans don't cry. You know,
we all have emotions, whether we're male or female. I
just think men are taught at a very very young
age that they're not welcomed. Unfortunately. I think some girls too,
you know, some parents can't handle all the feelings that
(09:15):
child will have, so at a young age. I think
we're all sort of often taught to suppress them, but
more so in terms of that male identity. It's bullshit.
And I think, you know, we do have feelings. And
I think a lot of the times people get sick
because they can't be honest about what they're feeling, well,
their relationships fail or you know. So I think there's
(09:36):
a huge toll to pay if we were to believe
that was true. And I think it's important for me
at least to play a man like Jack who can
be strong and noble and all these heroic characteristics but
still have all of his feelings, you know. And I
think it's interesting to watch a character like that struggle
(09:56):
with that duality to be strong and vulnera because I
don't think you want to be just one or the other,
you know. And I think it's about balance like anything
in life, and that's a really good aspect to the character.
And I just think it's more honest because of course,
people are going to feel deeply about things that they've
been through that are traumatic, and I think so many
of our problems come from not being honest about some
(10:19):
of those traumas, and then they come out sideways, you know.
You start hurting yourself or others because you're actually not
dealing with what you're really feeling deep down. So and
I know that to be true. You know, I've spent
years in therapy unpacking a lot of my stuff and
getting to the heart of some of my self defeating
behaviors and realizing where they're coming from. And so much
(10:40):
of it's usually coming from some kind of pain or
hurt you know that you haven't dealt with. So yeah,
I think it's a really important thing to show that.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Especially with the character like this who goes through a lot.
I mean, some of the first things I come to mind,
it's the PTSD right from his time in the Marines
and struggles with alcohol, and there's a lot that you
deal with in this series. Does that affect you at all?
As Martin the human being? Like, what's your relationship like
(11:11):
with that kind of work that you have to do.
How does it affect you if at all?
Speaker 2 (11:15):
No, I don't think it affects me. I think if
I hadn't looked at my shit, then it probably it would.
It would feel very confronting sort of. And I mean
I think whenever you realize there's a scene that requires
a certain amount of you know, as you said, vulnerability,
you know, and it requires a very specific sort of emotion.
There's always a fear in me leading up to that scene.
(11:37):
I just want it to get it shot and get
it out of the way, because there's this fear that
I won't be able to access that feeling or I
won't I won't do it in a manner that is
appropriate for the character. So for me, it's it's there's
some dread around it, but that's more of a performance thing.
It's not like, oh, I don't want to feel those feelings,
although it's not fun. I think it's more of a
(11:57):
professional insecurity, like, oh, I just want to deliver.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
Because you're.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
I do. I do greatly?
Speaker 3 (12:04):
Yeah, I do.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
And so I don't want to rip the audience off
and give them a sort of a lazy version. And
I don't want to rip myself off and go home
from work, you know, feeling that I didn't deliver. So
it's more about that for me. And then once it's done,
it's just a huge relief. I'm like, ah, thank God,
that's over. And you know, there might be a half
hour after the scene where those feelings are kind of
moving through your body, and it definitely, you know, if
(12:28):
they're real, then they do surface obviously, but then it's gone.
I think, you know, I'm just on to me again
and the next the next thing.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
I like to hear when people like you, with your
level of talent and expertise, you know, do struggle with
those feelings of anxiety and worrying about the performance ahead
of time, because some might look at you and be like, oh, man,
he doesn't have to worry about any of that. He's
such a pro. But we're all human. Of course we
have our own anxieties, right, Oh, one hundred percent.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Yeah, it's a double edged sword. I think it's a
healthy thing. Yeah. For me, it's a healthy fear because
fear can be a great motivator. And I was very,
very comforted by the fact that there was an article.
I forget the publication. It might have been Vanity Fair,
but it was an interview with Meryl Street. It was
(13:19):
quite a few years ago now, so I was still
relatively young actor. And in it she talks about how
before every new job that she's about to undertake, she's
overcome with so much fear and anxiety and self doubt
that she's convinced, beyond the shadow of it doubt, she's
absolutely convinced that this job that she's about to start
(13:41):
will be the one where everybody will see that she's
a phony, that she doesn't has no idea what she's doing,
and she'll finally be exposed and it grips her. And
I remember reading that going, oh, thank God, because she's
so good, she's so brilliant, you know, and I just
I hold her in such high esteem. I have so
(14:03):
much reverence for her talent and so, and that was
very comforting. I was like, Oh, it's okay. It's okay
to doubt yourself. The trick is to not let the
doubt pull you away from action, right. I think that's
that's the day is where as long as you keep
making a step forward, and it can be a baby step,
you know, and that step could literally just be calling
(14:24):
a friend or the director or someone and saying I'm
really scared or whatever and being honest about how you're feeling,
but just moving towards the challenge. So I think it
can be a healthy thing because it also it sort
of puts you on an edge in a good way
where you're like, Okay, I don't want to fail, so
I better bring my A game, you know. And if
(14:45):
you're not bringing your A game, then I feel like,
what are you doing it for? I feel like then
you're just going through the motions, and I don't want
to live like that, where you're just, you know, happy
with the mediocre version of your ability. But that's just
the first.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
The holiday episodes that recently dropped, talk to me about those?
Were those so much fun to do? Did you always
want to do festive episodes? I mean that you were
given all the Christmas feels we were.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
I loved doing it. I can't say it was something
I've never seen a Christmas show. It's I think it's
very American thing. From my understanding, it's kind of a
Hallmark tradition, right that they do Christmas movies or something,
so I'm aware of what they are. And this idea
was first proposed a couple of seasons ago. One of
the producers was sort of suggesting we might want to
(15:41):
do it, and in any event, you know, it happened
last season. But as soon as the idea was proposed, though,
I thought, what a great idea for this show, you know,
for these characters, for this town to give yourself even
more of an excuse to cultivate those warm, cozy feelings,
because that is, at the end of the day, what
the show really delivers on. And I think what people
(16:03):
come back for, you know, what we talked about earlier.
So it just seemed like such a good idea that
would be silly not to do it. So I went
into it, yeah, excited, and felt like it was a
really good.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
Thing for the fans.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
And you know, in particularly so last season, all of
the characters with the fire episodes, you know, were sort
of put in predicaments that were typically a lot heavier
than what previous seasons had had them really go through.
Although there was still a lot of raw emotion and whatnot,
it just had a heavier quality to it, you know,
(16:37):
and all the stuff that melon Jack went through. I
just thought it was imperative that we give the fans
that sort of end to the season, even though it
was sort of delayed, and it was fun to do,
you know.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
I like doing light of stuff.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
I feel like most of my career, for whatever reason,
has actually been on the more serious, dramatic side most
of it.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
So any opportunity where I get to be lighter.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
Or be a goofball, which is probably I think a
little more like how I am in real life. I'd
leaned into it, so I loved it.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
Well, as did the fans the whole season five. I
think the fandom responded really well too. And I think
you've said season five was one of your favorites, Is
that right?
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Yeah? I thought. I just thought the scripts were really
cohesive this season. I thought they made yeah, and look,
we had a new show runner, so there was inevitably
going to be an adjustment period where the new writers
were sort of feeling their way into the show because.
Speaker 3 (17:37):
They're inherently going to bring a certain style and.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
Taste and way they construct stories that are adherent to
them whilst remaining true to the show. And I think
the decision to change the writer from Netflix was one
because you know, and it's a beautiful thing. They went,
this show is obviously beloved and Netflix are really invested
in it, and they're like, we want to make sure
(18:00):
sure that the show could last as long as possible.
So I thought it was really exciting that they made
that commitment to the show. And like anything, whenever you change,
you know, there's always going to be a breath of
fresh air with a new whatever. So I just thought
it changed the show a little bit. And I think
these writers are really committed to telling stories that open
(18:21):
the show up a bit, which I think is really cool,
and developing some of the other characters. Yeah, I did
like season five they all kind of merged together, though
I'm trying to think of other seasons.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
I'm sure they do. I'm sure they do. And you
have season six coming up at some point. What's the
status with that. Have you started working on it?
Speaker 2 (18:40):
No, we were scheduled to start in July, but of
course the writers went on strike in May. There was
talk for a moment that we because some of the
scripts had been completed, that maybe we'd do shoot half
the season, take a break, the strike could be over,
and we'd do the second half. And of course then
the one striker came two and whatnot. So we've just
based be waiting around, which was really tough because obviously
(19:03):
when the season five dropped, we weren't permitted to talk
about it, which is a very strange situation, Like obviously
this interview would have typically happened leading up to the
release of season five. And yeah, we weren't allowed, So
it felt strange to have kind of a gag order
on your ability to just interact with fans that we
(19:24):
knew were really excited about the new season and not
to be a part of that force out there and
just having a relationship with the fans and feeling their
anticipation was a bit of a bummer, but strikes over.
So now we're getting ready to go back, and I
think the producers and they're just getting all the trains
back on the tracks and dusting off the sets and
(19:45):
the costumes and we'll back at it soon. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
Well, what's so cool about a streaming show is there's
a lot of people who will watch and Rewatch and
Rewatch again and take time over the holidays to binge
their favorite parts or seasons or episodes. So I do
like that, while it was unfortunate you guys can't talk
about it in real time, things like this will live
on and excite the fans again to make them jump
(20:10):
back into it. So I think it's really cool and
at testament to your point of the fandom of the
show that people are so invested in constantly want content
featuring you guys. Another thing that I think is really interesting.
Is you've obviously been part of the show for five
six seasons now going on six, I should say, do
you feel like you've changed and grown as a person
(20:32):
through playing this character in different ways? Or I guess
my question is what is your relationship with who you
were in season one versus who you are today? Is
it an interesting process to see how you change throughout
doing something like this show.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
It's a really good question. I've never thought about it
other than I've gotten a bit older, a bit grayer. Gosh, Yeah,
I'm sure. I hope I have, because I feel like
I believe strongly that that if you're not sort of growing,
then you sort of tread water. And then if you're
(21:09):
treading water for too long, it's inevitable there's sort of
entropy that comes in and pulls you backwards. So and
that's just a belief of mine. So I hope that
I've grown. Yeah, I mean a lot's changed the show.
I think having such a consistent show, even though it
wasn't really I don't think till about season three where
Alex and I both were like, oh, the show really
(21:31):
is successful, I think we were like kind of a
bit unsure. Is it really people really love it like
and then I think by about season three it became
quite evident. And so the idea of being something on
a show that's such an ongoing concern is quite unique.
And most shows, you know, last a couple of seasons,
(21:52):
maybe maybe three. So that in and of itself, and
I don't know if that's about changing me, but just
in terms of life and having a consistency and something
to kind of go oh, so I'll probably be doing
that next year. Has allowed me to look at some
of the more practical aspects of my life. And I mean,
you know, I'm basically living in New Zealand. Now.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
There's just a lot of things that have changed for me.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
But I think one thing that's probably true having been
part and I don't want to say this because it
makes me sound like I was a real horrible cynic,
I don't think that's true. But having been on a
show that is like you know, we talked about so
unapologetically feel good. It deals with love and community and
(22:40):
sort of there's so much tender moments within the show
with all the characters. I think that's probably shifted some
of my idea about the kind of work that I
would typically do, because, like I said, most roles I've
done haven't been in this particular vein, and I was
probably a bit unsure sure about it. I was like, oh, okay,
(23:02):
But having done years of it and how much people
love it, it's definitely shifted my ideas around what kind
of content I would want to do in the future.
So that's probably one of the ways in which I've changed.
I'm just probably more open to this sort of material,
whereas before I was a bit unsure about it. I
was like, Oh, this could be really cheesy, you know,
(23:22):
and I did not want it to be really cheesy,
And I think you can be really sweet and heartfelt
without being cheesy.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
It's really cool to see how appreciative you are of
this role and for the show, and like I said,
for the fandom. It's very evident to me, and also
evidence just seems like you're in a very peaceful place
in your life. I know you just mentioned New Zealand,
and that's where you live. I think that would surprise
a lot of people. You would think La or New
York because of what you do, But it seems important
for you to protect your peace, is that right?
Speaker 2 (23:58):
Yeah, You're very astute. Yeah. Is it that evident, honey?
It is it is, you know. I maybe it's getting
older and going through your twenties or your teens and
your twenty you know, and dealing with all the turmoil
of puberty and trying to figure out who you are
in the world, and all the sort of silly, dark
(24:20):
roads you work down trying to find yourself, and all
the chaos that ensues from just kind of growing up.
Once I started to work on myself, and I think
one thing that became very evident is just how much
I cherish a sense of peace of I don't know
what the word is, yeah, but it's just yeah, just
(24:44):
being at ease, you know, and finding that well. I
think a lot of it's just self love too. I
don't know if this is the right time, but I
know that the title of your show is you know
something I haven't said before? What's the phrase?
Speaker 1 (24:57):
Yes, I've never said this before? And if there's something
feel like sharing? Now go ahead, my man? All you well?
Speaker 2 (25:03):
It was this questions plagued me a little bit ever
since I read that, because I was like, oh, what
have I not said? I thought, Oh, maybe I'll say
I'm just getting too old for this shit. But I've
definitely said that before, that's about stunts because I keep
hurting myself. But I was like, oh, so I say
something silly, what's something deep and meaningful? Oh?
Speaker 3 (25:22):
I can't think of anything.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
But then the one thing that did come to me,
because obviously the whole point of the question is sort
of hopefully to connect with the viewership, you know, and
share this idea that we all have things that we
struggle with. And I think for me it was I
wish that I had learned to love myself a bit earlier.
I think there was a lot of time where I
(25:45):
wasn't forced to kind of confront how I was treating myself.
And when I started to do that, I think one
thing that became very evident was how much I cherish
what you're talking about, a sense of just self love
and and keeping things kind of simple and real and
(26:05):
not getting caught up in the fan fear and the
nonsense and the I don't know, there's just the drama.
You know, there's so much drama in the world everywhere,
and it feels like now more than ever too, you know,
social media. If someone posts something and then everyone argues
back and forth, and I'm just like, oh, I'm just
so not interested in that. So I do. I really,
(26:27):
I do feel like part of loving myself is just
keeping my life really simple and true and peaceful. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
That's very inspiring, man, And I appreciate you opening up
about that because I think a lot of people do
go through that, and it's okay to have gone through
that and felt that and realize that maybe we all
weren't great to ourselves, you know, in our younger years,
but now you can be and it's never too late.
And I just, man, when you put it like that,
(26:57):
it makes me feel so at peace and wanting to it.
Does I feel like you know that app Calm on
your phone?
Speaker 2 (27:06):
Yeah? Yeah I do. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
I feel like I just had an experience listening to
that app because you were so eloquent and so calming
when you were describing that process. And I think that's
so cool. And I just I feel like a nice
way to wrap up this conversation while we're on this
topic is I would love to know from you what
are three things you do in your life to maintain
that sense of peace, whether it's an activity or a
(27:28):
practice or whatever it may be. What are three different
things that you do to get that piece, or three
things that bring you peace.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
Well, I think you mentioned calm, which is obviously a
sort of mindful meditation app I've never used calm. I've
used some of this stuff, but meditation is something I
had a couple of really freaky experiences in my late teens,
and a little bit after that made real my t
(27:57):
where I just sort of whatever reason, and not even
that intentionally, I kind of almost accidentally tapped into kind
of a I guess, a mind state that was just
where all the chatter dropped away, and it was this
feeling of connectedness. And it's really interesting because it kind
of happened accidentally, but it was so profound and it
(28:20):
left such a mark on me. It was very clear
to me that all of the stuff that we get
preoccupied with in the world, and the external things that
were chasing and particularly in our own mind, the chatter
was all just sort of an illusion, and beyond all that,
there is an underneath everything, There is this sense of calm,
I guess is one way to describe it. And so
(28:42):
I found that meditation helps me reconnect to that and
just drop out of my mind because my mind can
tell me from literally within one minute, it could throw
up four or five ideas that I might want to
get attached to about who I am, who I should be, Well,
I shouldn't be what you know I should, yeah, and
(29:03):
it's all it's all just fucking nonsense in the head.
The meditation is a huge way I try to detach
from all that. So that's really important, and I don't
do it as much as I should. I'm fortunate that
my partner is really good at meditating. She meditates a lot,
like when she's good, twice a day, but every day religiously.
Speaker 3 (29:26):
And she's a very beautiful person.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
She doesn't pressure me or sort of point out when
I'm not doing it, but she would just be sitting
there on the sofa doing the thing, and I'm like, oh,
I better meditate. So that's huge. Being in nature is
huge for me. I just get such a sense of
connectedness and peace and inspiration, you know, if I'm in
(29:47):
nature in a mindful way. I mean, it's one thing
to go for a walk and just be thinking about
your problems, you know, or your ambitions, but to actually
just be present. And of course meditation lends itself to
that ability, and and I noticed everything I see in
the design of a leaf, or the you know, the
the camouflage of a bark on a tree trunk, or
(30:08):
the sounder a bird wing, or the way water moves
over a rock, or just stuff. If I'm really present,
I get such a deep joy or contentment, because it's
not happiness like that kind of dopamine or whatever, that
sort of high. It's more of a real deep sense
of being at one with the natural world. And I
(30:30):
think for me it's imperative because that allows me to
be one with myself. Because Carl Jung I think he
said once that when a man is divorced from nature,
he's divorced from himself. So for me those that's the
second one. And then I think the third one is
to do fun things with people I love, because then
(30:51):
I get to share whatever joy I'm generating from these
other practices. I think even the Buddha said he had
to come down from the mountain and be in the
real world, you know. And I think for me that
sort of is this idea. You can go into all
these solitary pursuits of mindfulness and calm and whatnot. But
if I'm not sharing that in a connected way with people,
(31:12):
it doesn't feel as rips and that can be anything.
I love almost any dynamic moving sport. I love to
be in the water. I love to spearfish, scuba, dive,
water ski, snowski, mountain bike, road bike, kite surfing, you know,
whatever it is. I just and that feeling of doing
something like that with a community and then coming up
(31:34):
from a dive and saying, oh mate, did you see that?
Yeah that mentor ray, oh my god, or the way
the light was coming through the water, and yeah, I
love doing that sort of stuff.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
People are listening right now. We're gearing up for the
new year, and those are things worth remembering to kick
off the new year and be a little better to ourselves.
The world is crazy, as you said earlier, and there's
a lot going on. So any chance we can take
to find that piece, I'm all for. Martin. I always
love chatting with you. I've got to tell you, when
this show was born back in the summer, I have
(32:09):
consistently had people messaging me monthly saying to get you on.
You have been a top requested guest, so I am
glad we could finally do this.
Speaker 2 (32:20):
Oh well, thanks well, and I'll just end by saying too,
because I don't want to go into it, but it's
probably a good opportunity because obviously there was a strike
and I wasn't permitted to talk about anything related to
the show, and then around the release of the show,
I actually I had a bit of a health scare
and I had to go into hospital and I had
(32:40):
to do two surgeries kind of back to back, and
then I had a pretty extensive recovery, and so it's
just it'd been a real rough time, and I think
a lot of people were sort of like, why isn't
he talking about the show. He doesn't care about versus
River anymore. Someone sent me some comments and I was like,
oh my god, but I was literally so I would
have very much eagerly liked to have participated in an
(33:03):
interview earlier. But yeah, it was just sort of a
challenging couple of months. So I just wanted to put
that out there because it kind of hurt me a
bit that people would insinuate that I somehow didn't care
about the show. Therefore, it kind of in the same
brit sounds like I don't care about the fans and
that couldn't be further from the truth, So I just
(33:23):
I wanted to put that out there too. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:25):
Yeah, And what I'll say is I reached out to
you as soon as the strike ended and I said, hey, man,
we'd love to have you on the show now that
you can talk about Virgin River, and let's get you
on and have some good conversation. And right away you
were like, yes, absolutely, let's do it. You couldn't have
been more excited and thrilled to be here and be
a part of this. So I know from firsthand experience
that everything you just said is right on and you
(33:46):
were so psyched to be here. And like I said, man,
it's always a pleasure. I appreciate the depth you bring
to an interview, and I love that we can talk
about the show and have fun and celebrate the fandom
and why people love it, but then also talk about
a lot of things that maybe people don't connect you
with and now get to know you a little deeper
and can be more seen by you in a way
because they feel like, well, Martin's gone through this and
(34:08):
he knows what this feeling is like, and he's not
just an actor, he's a human being, which I think
people can forget sometimes when they fall in love with
the character. So I love bringing that human element to
the world. And I really appreciate you being here.
Speaker 3 (34:22):
Oh, thanks man, it means a lot. And yeah, and
thank you for your service.
Speaker 2 (34:26):
And also, you know, I just want to acknowledge too.
I know I reached out in the wake of the
Maui disaster and your involvement and commitment to supporting that
community and you know, being a part of that. I
just you know, I think what you're endeavoring to do
with your platform and your skill set is really admirable
as well. So right back at you, buddy.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
Ah, thank you brother. We're all in this together. Well,
congratulations to you on all of your success. You know
I'm always cheering you on and you are welcome back anytime.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
Thanks man, I'll see you again. Maybe I'll see an season.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
Yes, I hope. So all right, b well and happy holidays,
Happy New Year.
Speaker 2 (35:04):
Yeah man, Happy holidays. Thanks for having me, Bud, I've.
Speaker 1 (35:08):
Never said this before. Is hosted by Me Tommy Dedario.
This podcast is executive produced by Andrew Piglisi at iHeartRadio
and by Me Tommy, with editing by Joshua Colaudney I've
never said this before is part of the Elvis Duran
podcast Network on iHeart Podcasts for more, rate, review and
subscribe to our show and if you liked this episode,
(35:31):
tell your friends. Until next time, I'm Tommy de Dario
Hey guys, welcome to I've never said this before with
me Tommy Didario. Today's guest is the wonderfully talented actor
Martin Henderson, who quite often hangs out at the number
one spot on the Netflix charts with his smash hit
series Virgin River. Yeah, he's kind of a big deal.
(00:23):
Virgin River is an American romance drama series that is
quite often described as comfort viewing. It's adapted from the
long running romance book series by author Robin Carr, and
people have fallen in love with Virgin River because of
well many reasons. But for one, it's heartwarming and it's
a small town show with just the right amount of
(00:45):
romance and charm. But also there's some pretty high stakes drama. Listen,
we live in a world that seems to get harder
and harder to navigate, so a show like this has
been described as a medicine for the soul. It is
pure escape at its finest. Today we celebrate Martin's work
in Virgin River and we hear him reflect on a
(01:06):
show that is clearly so special to him. But he
also opens up about the real man behind the fan
favorite character. We talk about how he has evolved as
a human being over the years, the ways that he
protects his peace, why men need to feel safe to
express their emotions, and so much more so, Let's see
(01:27):
if today we can get Martin to say something that
he's never said before. Martin Henderson, how you doing, my friend?
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Oh? I'm good, man, I'm good. How are you?
Speaker 1 (01:43):
I am fantastic. You were just telling me you got
off a flight at your back home and you're a
little tired today.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Huh, Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
I kind of lied. You're right, you asked me how
I was.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
I'm exhausted. Other than that, I'm pretty good. How you doing?
Speaker 1 (01:57):
I am fantastic. I'm so happy you are hanging out
with me today. We talked a few years ago. Time flies, man,
So I'm glad to reconnect and talk about all the
fun things. But I have to begin by giving you
a little piece of information that you might not be
aware of. Are you ready for it?
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Yeah, I'm lucky. I'm sitting down. Yeah, go for it.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Did you know that the Internet has named you one
of the most swoon worthy stars on all of television?
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Spoon worthy?
Speaker 1 (02:25):
Swoon I mean probably spoon worthy to people. Probably my spoon.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
Like sit of cuddle. I thought that's a little vanilla.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Well, listen, that's not a bad thing. And I'm sure
many people want to spoon and be spooned by you,
but swoon with the w you were one of the
most swoon worthy stars according to the World Wide Web.
How does that make you feel? Do you want to
say a few words.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
Wow, I don't. I don't really trust what you read,
so I don't know exactly how you quantify that, what
source it is. But that's very flattering. I'll take it.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
That's very nice.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
There's enough people out there that seem to think that
that it's come up in this endy you, so the
you go us have some validity to it.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
I had a trophy and you were here, I would
hand you the trophy. So starting off with the big honor, now,
I feel like you should have number one tattooed on
your forehead because every time a new season of Virgin
River drops, it soars to number one on Netflix, every
single time. So, first of all, for everybody listening, for
those who maybe haven't had a chance to check out
(03:24):
this series, although I don't think there are many people,
but for the people that haven't, in your words, as
a star of the show, How would you describe this show?
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Well, first of all, as we'll say, I do have
a number one tattooed, but I can't show you, you know,
how would I describe the show? I feel like it's
a feel good show, and I think the show in
and of itself is a very good show. It's a
very well made show, but it is coore. The engine
(03:53):
of the show really is is love story between It's
burgeoning love story between Melan Jack, so it leads with
the heart and all the characters around that in the community.
Most of the storylines deal with people's feelings, and I
think we live in a time when, you know, obviously
(04:13):
there's a lot of it feels like it's getting worse.
But I don't know, maybe the world's always been this
dark and trouble, but there's just so much out there
that we constantly get fed through our social media and
our news feeds. There's just heavy and dark and divisive
and conflicted. And here's the show that has so much
love and such unapologetic feeling to it that I think
(04:37):
people are drawn to that because a there's just not
a lot of that out there at the moment, and
it does it very well. But I also think it
does it without being too saccharine, because you know, there's
the hallmarks in the lifetimes and the versions of these
kind of stories that can get a little bit sappy,
And of course Virgin River has a lot of sap
at times, but it is definitely peppered with some darker
(05:00):
emotions and some heavier things that the characters have to
go through. There's you know, all of the characters really
get confronted by some form of loss or something unrequited,
or heartache or trouble or physical ailments, you know, so
it's sort of got a nice balance whilst always managing
to make you feel good. I think.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Yeah, And you've been playing the character of Jack for
five seasons now going on six. What do you most
appreciate about playing this role.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
I really like the role. And when they offered me
the part whatever that was six years ago, five years ago,
there was you know, I read the pilot script and
it was good. I was a little concerned because you know,
I knew that it was based on a romance novel.
I thought, oh, man, is that what we're going to do?
Because that didn't really appeal. But the character of Jack had.
(05:50):
Particularly after talking with the writers, I realized there was
enough of a dimension to the guy, because clearly, you know,
he's he's designing to be very heroic, and you might
say very much a fantasy, you know, this male fantasy,
and I think that can be one dimensional. But there
was enough sort of subterranean angst and dark emotions that
(06:13):
he was dealing with and his demons, and I thought
that was interesting. I thought, Okay, here's someone that at
first glances charming and says all the right things, and
he turns out to be very romantic, but he's also
quite complex and there's some contradictions, and I just I
really thought that I could do a decent job with
that kind of job on a show like this. So yeah,
(06:34):
I'm really thrilled to play the part. I feel like
I've let myself down, though, because now there's this expectation
for me to be as amazing as Jack as a
big shoots a phil But yeah, it's an honor, you know,
and I think all actors would be lying if they
didn't say that. Ultimately, we want people to watch what
(06:54):
we do, and you know, obviously it's created a huge.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
Following, and that's just humbling and very.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Rewarding, you know, because we go to work and we
do work really really hard from the beginning, from the
day one to make the show the best version that
it could be. And it seems like people responded, and
everywhere I go, oh, we love Jack, we love Jack.
And that feels really good that I've managed to create
a character that people have responded so favorably too.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
They certainly have man, and I think what's so cool
about the character you created is he is, you know,
this quote unquote ideal man, but you also play him
in such a vulnerable way, and it shows that, you know,
man can have emotions and be vulnerable and be raw.
Are you a vulnerable person like your character or are
(07:44):
you a little bit less emotional?
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Well, given that the show, if you actually analyze it
and some of the hardcore fans have, you know, if
you look at the fact that Charmaine has only just
had heard Twins, the show's gone over very short. You know,
it is nine months or so. I don't think I've
had that amount of emotion over an month period. I
don't think I go through quite that much. But obviously
(08:10):
the emotions that I want to access to express honestly
through the character our mine. So I guess i'd have
to say that, yes, you know, I have those emotions,
otherwise I wouldn't be able to access them, you know,
for the character. And I appreciate you bringing up because
I think it's something that I do feel quite strongly about,
(08:32):
because you know, I grew up in New Zealand and
I think it's similar to the world over, but definitely here.
You know, there's a sense growing our boys don't cry,
you know, And I think it's kind of shocking that
that that sort of phrase is so embedded in the
sort of collective consciousness that it's given almost as a truism, like, oh,
boys don't cry, you know, at least when I was
(08:53):
growing up, you know, and I think the generation before
it was even more hardcore, believed that that was the case.
And that's crazy. That's like saying humans don't cry. You know,
we all have emotions, whether we're male or female. I
just think men are taught at a very very young
age that they're not welcomed. Unfortunately. I think some girls too,
you know, some parents can't handle all the feelings that
(09:15):
child will have, so at a young age. I think
we're all sort of often taught to suppress them, but
more so in terms of that male identity. It's bullshit.
And I think, you know, we do have feelings. And
I think a lot of the times people get sick
because they can't be honest about what they're feeling, well,
their relationships fail or you know. So I think there's
(09:36):
a huge toll to pay if we were to believe
that was true. And I think it's important for me
at least to play a man like Jack who can
be strong and noble and all these heroic characteristics but
still have all of his feelings, you know. And I
think it's interesting to watch a character like that struggle
(09:56):
with that duality to be strong and vulnera because I
don't think you want to be just one or the other,
you know. And I think it's about balance like anything
in life, and that's a really good aspect to the character.
And I just think it's more honest because of course,
people are going to feel deeply about things that they've
been through that are traumatic, and I think so many
of our problems come from not being honest about some
(10:19):
of those traumas, and then they come out sideways, you know.
You start hurting yourself or others because you're actually not
dealing with what you're really feeling deep down. So and
I know that to be true. You know, I've spent
years in therapy unpacking a lot of my stuff and
getting to the heart of some of my self defeating
behaviors and realizing where they're coming from. And so much
(10:40):
of it's usually coming from some kind of pain or
hurt you know that you haven't dealt with. So yeah,
I think it's a really important thing to show that.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Especially with the character like this who goes through a lot.
I mean, some of the first things I come to mind,
it's the PTSD right from his time in the Marines
and struggles with alcohol, and there's a lot that you
deal with in this series. Does that affect you at all?
As Martin the human being? Like, what's your relationship like
(11:11):
with that kind of work that you have to do.
How does it affect you if at all?
Speaker 2 (11:15):
No, I don't think it affects me. I think if
I hadn't looked at my shit, then it probably it would.
It would feel very confronting sort of. And I mean
I think whenever you realize there's a scene that requires
a certain amount of you know, as you said, vulnerability,
you know, and it requires a very specific sort of emotion.
There's always a fear in me leading up to that scene.
(11:37):
I just want it to get it shot and get
it out of the way, because there's this fear that
I won't be able to access that feeling or I
won't I won't do it in a manner that is
appropriate for the character. So for me, it's it's there's
some dread around it, but that's more of a performance thing.
It's not like, oh, I don't want to feel those feelings,
although it's not fun. I think it's more of a
(11:57):
professional insecurity, like, oh, I just want to deliver.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
Because you're.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
I do. I do greatly?
Speaker 3 (12:04):
Yeah, I do.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
And so I don't want to rip the audience off
and give them a sort of a lazy version. And
I don't want to rip myself off and go home
from work, you know, feeling that I didn't deliver. So
it's more about that for me. And then once it's done,
it's just a huge relief. I'm like, ah, thank God,
that's over. And you know, there might be a half
hour after the scene where those feelings are kind of
moving through your body, and it definitely, you know, if
(12:28):
they're real, then they do surface obviously, but then it's gone.
I think, you know, I'm just on to me again
and the next the next thing.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
I like to hear when people like you, with your
level of talent and expertise, you know, do struggle with
those feelings of anxiety and worrying about the performance ahead
of time, because some might look at you and be like, oh, man,
he doesn't have to worry about any of that. He's
such a pro. But we're all human. Of course we
have our own anxieties, right, Oh, one hundred percent.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Yeah, it's a double edged sword. I think it's a
healthy thing. Yeah. For me, it's a healthy fear because
fear can be a great motivator. And I was very,
very comforted by the fact that there was an article.
I forget the publication. It might have been Vanity Fair,
but it was an interview with Meryl Street. It was
(13:19):
quite a few years ago now, so I was still
relatively young actor. And in it she talks about how
before every new job that she's about to undertake, she's
overcome with so much fear and anxiety and self doubt
that she's convinced, beyond the shadow of it doubt, she's
absolutely convinced that this job that she's about to start
(13:41):
will be the one where everybody will see that she's
a phony, that she doesn't has no idea what she's doing,
and she'll finally be exposed and it grips her. And
I remember reading that going, oh, thank God, because she's
so good, she's so brilliant, you know, and I just
I hold her in such high esteem. I have so
(14:03):
much reverence for her talent and so, and that was
very comforting. I was like, Oh, it's okay. It's okay
to doubt yourself. The trick is to not let the
doubt pull you away from action, right. I think that's
that's the day is where as long as you keep
making a step forward, and it can be a baby step,
you know, and that step could literally just be calling
(14:24):
a friend or the director or someone and saying I'm
really scared or whatever and being honest about how you're feeling,
but just moving towards the challenge. So I think it
can be a healthy thing because it also it sort
of puts you on an edge in a good way
where you're like, Okay, I don't want to fail, so
I better bring my A game, you know. And if
(14:45):
you're not bringing your A game, then I feel like,
what are you doing it for? I feel like then
you're just going through the motions, and I don't want
to live like that, where you're just, you know, happy
with the mediocre version of your ability. But that's just
the first.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
The holiday episodes that recently dropped, talk to me about those?
Were those so much fun to do? Did you always
want to do festive episodes? I mean that you were
given all the Christmas feels we were.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
I loved doing it. I can't say it was something
I've never seen a Christmas show. It's I think it's
very American thing. From my understanding, it's kind of a
Hallmark tradition, right that they do Christmas movies or something,
so I'm aware of what they are. And this idea
was first proposed a couple of seasons ago. One of
the producers was sort of suggesting we might want to
(15:41):
do it, and in any event, you know, it happened
last season. But as soon as the idea was proposed, though,
I thought, what a great idea for this show, you know,
for these characters, for this town to give yourself even
more of an excuse to cultivate those warm, cozy feelings,
because that is, at the end of the day, what
the show really delivers on. And I think what people
(16:03):
come back for, you know, what we talked about earlier.
So it just seemed like such a good idea that
would be silly not to do it. So I went
into it, yeah, excited, and felt like it was a
really good.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
Thing for the fans.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
And you know, in particularly so last season, all of
the characters with the fire episodes, you know, were sort
of put in predicaments that were typically a lot heavier
than what previous seasons had had them really go through.
Although there was still a lot of raw emotion and whatnot,
it just had a heavier quality to it, you know,
(16:37):
and all the stuff that melon Jack went through. I
just thought it was imperative that we give the fans
that sort of end to the season, even though it
was sort of delayed, and it was fun to do,
you know.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
I like doing light of stuff.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
I feel like most of my career, for whatever reason,
has actually been on the more serious, dramatic side most
of it.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
So any opportunity where I get to be lighter.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
Or be a goofball, which is probably I think a
little more like how I am in real life. I'd
leaned into it, so I loved it.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
Well, as did the fans the whole season five. I
think the fandom responded really well too. And I think
you've said season five was one of your favorites, Is
that right?
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Yeah? I thought. I just thought the scripts were really
cohesive this season. I thought they made yeah, and look,
we had a new show runner, so there was inevitably
going to be an adjustment period where the new writers
were sort of feeling their way into the show because.
Speaker 3 (17:37):
They're inherently going to bring a certain style and.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
Taste and way they construct stories that are adherent to
them whilst remaining true to the show. And I think
the decision to change the writer from Netflix was one
because you know, and it's a beautiful thing. They went,
this show is obviously beloved and Netflix are really invested
in it, and they're like, we want to make sure
(18:00):
sure that the show could last as long as possible.
So I thought it was really exciting that they made
that commitment to the show. And like anything, whenever you change,
you know, there's always going to be a breath of
fresh air with a new whatever. So I just thought
it changed the show a little bit. And I think
these writers are really committed to telling stories that open
(18:21):
the show up a bit, which I think is really cool,
and developing some of the other characters. Yeah, I did
like season five they all kind of merged together, though
I'm trying to think of other seasons.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
I'm sure they do. I'm sure they do. And you
have season six coming up at some point. What's the
status with that. Have you started working on it?
Speaker 2 (18:40):
No, we were scheduled to start in July, but of
course the writers went on strike in May. There was
talk for a moment that we because some of the
scripts had been completed, that maybe we'd do shoot half
the season, take a break, the strike could be over,
and we'd do the second half. And of course then
the one striker came two and whatnot. So we've just
based be waiting around, which was really tough because obviously
(19:03):
when the season five dropped, we weren't permitted to talk
about it, which is a very strange situation, Like obviously
this interview would have typically happened leading up to the
release of season five. And yeah, we weren't allowed, So
it felt strange to have kind of a gag order
on your ability to just interact with fans that we
(19:24):
knew were really excited about the new season and not
to be a part of that force out there and
just having a relationship with the fans and feeling their
anticipation was a bit of a bummer, but strikes over.
So now we're getting ready to go back, and I
think the producers and they're just getting all the trains
back on the tracks and dusting off the sets and
(19:45):
the costumes and we'll back at it soon. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
Well, what's so cool about a streaming show is there's
a lot of people who will watch and Rewatch and
Rewatch again and take time over the holidays to binge
their favorite parts or seasons or episodes. So I do
like that, while it was unfortunate you guys can't talk
about it in real time, things like this will live
on and excite the fans again to make them jump
(20:10):
back into it. So I think it's really cool and
at testament to your point of the fandom of the
show that people are so invested in constantly want content
featuring you guys. Another thing that I think is really interesting.
Is you've obviously been part of the show for five
six seasons now going on six, I should say, do
you feel like you've changed and grown as a person
(20:32):
through playing this character in different ways? Or I guess
my question is what is your relationship with who you
were in season one versus who you are today? Is
it an interesting process to see how you change throughout
doing something like this show.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
It's a really good question. I've never thought about it
other than I've gotten a bit older, a bit grayer. Gosh, Yeah,
I'm sure. I hope I have, because I feel like
I believe strongly that that if you're not sort of growing,
then you sort of tread water. And then if you're
(21:09):
treading water for too long, it's inevitable there's sort of
entropy that comes in and pulls you backwards. So and
that's just a belief of mine. So I hope that
I've grown. Yeah, I mean a lot's changed the show.
I think having such a consistent show, even though it
wasn't really I don't think till about season three where
Alex and I both were like, oh, the show really
(21:31):
is successful, I think we were like kind of a
bit unsure. Is it really people really love it like
and then I think by about season three it became
quite evident. And so the idea of being something on
a show that's such an ongoing concern is quite unique.
And most shows, you know, last a couple of seasons,
(21:52):
maybe maybe three. So that in and of itself, and
I don't know if that's about changing me, but just
in terms of life and having a consistency and something
to kind of go oh, so I'll probably be doing
that next year. Has allowed me to look at some
of the more practical aspects of my life. And I mean,
you know, I'm basically living in New Zealand. Now.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
There's just a lot of things that have changed for me.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
But I think one thing that's probably true having been
part and I don't want to say this because it
makes me sound like I was a real horrible cynic,
I don't think that's true. But having been on a
show that is like you know, we talked about so
unapologetically feel good. It deals with love and community and
(22:40):
sort of there's so much tender moments within the show
with all the characters. I think that's probably shifted some
of my idea about the kind of work that I
would typically do, because, like I said, most roles I've
done haven't been in this particular vein, and I was
probably a bit unsure sure about it. I was like, oh, okay,
(23:02):
But having done years of it and how much people
love it, it's definitely shifted my ideas around what kind
of content I would want to do in the future.
So that's probably one of the ways in which I've changed.
I'm just probably more open to this sort of material,
whereas before I was a bit unsure about it. I
was like, Oh, this could be really cheesy, you know,
(23:22):
and I did not want it to be really cheesy,
And I think you can be really sweet and heartfelt
without being cheesy.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
It's really cool to see how appreciative you are of
this role and for the show, and like I said,
for the fandom. It's very evident to me, and also
evidence just seems like you're in a very peaceful place
in your life. I know you just mentioned New Zealand,
and that's where you live. I think that would surprise
a lot of people. You would think La or New
York because of what you do, But it seems important
for you to protect your peace, is that right?
Speaker 2 (23:58):
Yeah, You're very astute. Yeah. Is it that evident, honey?
It is it is, you know. I maybe it's getting
older and going through your twenties or your teens and
your twenty you know, and dealing with all the turmoil
of puberty and trying to figure out who you are
in the world, and all the sort of silly, dark
(24:20):
roads you work down trying to find yourself, and all
the chaos that ensues from just kind of growing up.
Once I started to work on myself, and I think
one thing that became very evident is just how much
I cherish a sense of peace of I don't know
what the word is, yeah, but it's just yeah, just
(24:44):
being at ease, you know, and finding that well. I
think a lot of it's just self love too. I
don't know if this is the right time, but I
know that the title of your show is you know
something I haven't said before? What's the phrase?
Speaker 1 (24:57):
Yes, I've never said this before? And if there's something
feel like sharing? Now go ahead, my man? All you well?
Speaker 2 (25:03):
It was this questions plagued me a little bit ever
since I read that, because I was like, oh, what
have I not said? I thought, Oh, maybe I'll say
I'm just getting too old for this shit. But I've
definitely said that before, that's about stunts because I keep
hurting myself. But I was like, oh, so I say
something silly, what's something deep and meaningful? Oh?
Speaker 3 (25:22):
I can't think of anything.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
But then the one thing that did come to me,
because obviously the whole point of the question is sort
of hopefully to connect with the viewership, you know, and
share this idea that we all have things that we
struggle with. And I think for me it was I
wish that I had learned to love myself a bit earlier.
I think there was a lot of time where I
(25:45):
wasn't forced to kind of confront how I was treating myself.
And when I started to do that, I think one
thing that became very evident was how much I cherish
what you're talking about, a sense of just self love
and and keeping things kind of simple and real and
(26:05):
not getting caught up in the fan fear and the
nonsense and the I don't know, there's just the drama.
You know, there's so much drama in the world everywhere,
and it feels like now more than ever too, you know,
social media. If someone posts something and then everyone argues
back and forth, and I'm just like, oh, I'm just
so not interested in that. So I do. I really,
(26:27):
I do feel like part of loving myself is just
keeping my life really simple and true and peaceful. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
That's very inspiring, man, And I appreciate you opening up
about that because I think a lot of people do
go through that, and it's okay to have gone through
that and felt that and realize that maybe we all
weren't great to ourselves, you know, in our younger years,
but now you can be and it's never too late.
And I just, man, when you put it like that,
(26:57):
it makes me feel so at peace and wanting to it.
Does I feel like you know that app Calm on
your phone?
Speaker 2 (27:06):
Yeah? Yeah I do. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
I feel like I just had an experience listening to
that app because you were so eloquent and so calming
when you were describing that process. And I think that's
so cool. And I just I feel like a nice
way to wrap up this conversation while we're on this
topic is I would love to know from you what
are three things you do in your life to maintain
that sense of peace, whether it's an activity or a
(27:28):
practice or whatever it may be. What are three different
things that you do to get that piece, or three
things that bring you peace.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
Well, I think you mentioned calm, which is obviously a
sort of mindful meditation app I've never used calm. I've
used some of this stuff, but meditation is something I
had a couple of really freaky experiences in my late teens,
and a little bit after that made real my t
(27:57):
where I just sort of whatever reason, and not even
that intentionally, I kind of almost accidentally tapped into kind
of a I guess, a mind state that was just
where all the chatter dropped away, and it was this
feeling of connectedness. And it's really interesting because it kind
of happened accidentally, but it was so profound and it
(28:20):
left such a mark on me. It was very clear
to me that all of the stuff that we get
preoccupied with in the world, and the external things that
were chasing and particularly in our own mind, the chatter
was all just sort of an illusion, and beyond all that,
there is an underneath everything, There is this sense of calm,
I guess is one way to describe it. And so
(28:42):
I found that meditation helps me reconnect to that and
just drop out of my mind because my mind can
tell me from literally within one minute, it could throw
up four or five ideas that I might want to
get attached to about who I am, who I should be, Well,
I shouldn't be what you know I should, yeah, and
(29:03):
it's all it's all just fucking nonsense in the head.
The meditation is a huge way I try to detach
from all that. So that's really important, and I don't
do it as much as I should. I'm fortunate that
my partner is really good at meditating. She meditates a lot,
like when she's good, twice a day, but every day religiously.
Speaker 3 (29:26):
And she's a very beautiful person.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
She doesn't pressure me or sort of point out when
I'm not doing it, but she would just be sitting
there on the sofa doing the thing, and I'm like, oh,
I better meditate. So that's huge. Being in nature is
huge for me. I just get such a sense of
connectedness and peace and inspiration, you know, if I'm in
(29:47):
nature in a mindful way. I mean, it's one thing
to go for a walk and just be thinking about
your problems, you know, or your ambitions, but to actually
just be present. And of course meditation lends itself to
that ability, and and I noticed everything I see in
the design of a leaf, or the you know, the
the camouflage of a bark on a tree trunk, or
(30:08):
the sounder a bird wing, or the way water moves
over a rock, or just stuff. If I'm really present,
I get such a deep joy or contentment, because it's
not happiness like that kind of dopamine or whatever, that
sort of high. It's more of a real deep sense
of being at one with the natural world. And I
(30:30):
think for me it's imperative because that allows me to
be one with myself. Because Carl Jung I think he
said once that when a man is divorced from nature,
he's divorced from himself. So for me those that's the
second one. And then I think the third one is
to do fun things with people I love, because then
(30:51):
I get to share whatever joy I'm generating from these
other practices. I think even the Buddha said he had
to come down from the mountain and be in the
real world, you know. And I think for me that
sort of is this idea. You can go into all
these solitary pursuits of mindfulness and calm and whatnot. But
if I'm not sharing that in a connected way with people,
(31:12):
it doesn't feel as rips and that can be anything.
I love almost any dynamic moving sport. I love to
be in the water. I love to spearfish, scuba, dive,
water ski, snowski, mountain bike, road bike, kite surfing, you know,
whatever it is. I just and that feeling of doing
something like that with a community and then coming up
(31:34):
from a dive and saying, oh mate, did you see that?
Yeah that mentor ray, oh my god, or the way
the light was coming through the water, and yeah, I
love doing that sort of stuff.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
People are listening right now. We're gearing up for the
new year, and those are things worth remembering to kick
off the new year and be a little better to ourselves.
The world is crazy, as you said earlier, and there's
a lot going on. So any chance we can take
to find that piece, I'm all for. Martin. I always
love chatting with you. I've got to tell you, when
this show was born back in the summer, I have
(32:09):
consistently had people messaging me monthly saying to get you on.
You have been a top requested guest, so I am
glad we could finally do this.
Speaker 2 (32:20):
Oh well, thanks well, and I'll just end by saying too,
because I don't want to go into it, but it's
probably a good opportunity because obviously there was a strike
and I wasn't permitted to talk about anything related to
the show, and then around the release of the show,
I actually I had a bit of a health scare
and I had to go into hospital and I had
(32:40):
to do two surgeries kind of back to back, and
then I had a pretty extensive recovery, and so it's
just it'd been a real rough time, and I think
a lot of people were sort of like, why isn't
he talking about the show. He doesn't care about versus
River anymore. Someone sent me some comments and I was like,
oh my god, but I was literally so I would
have very much eagerly liked to have participated in an
(33:03):
interview earlier. But yeah, it was just sort of a
challenging couple of months. So I just wanted to put
that out there because it kind of hurt me a
bit that people would insinuate that I somehow didn't care
about the show. Therefore, it kind of in the same
brit sounds like I don't care about the fans and
that couldn't be further from the truth, So I just
(33:23):
I wanted to put that out there too. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:25):
Yeah, And what I'll say is I reached out to
you as soon as the strike ended and I said, hey, man,
we'd love to have you on the show now that
you can talk about Virgin River, and let's get you
on and have some good conversation. And right away you
were like, yes, absolutely, let's do it. You couldn't have
been more excited and thrilled to be here and be
a part of this. So I know from firsthand experience
that everything you just said is right on and you
(33:46):
were so psyched to be here. And like I said, man,
it's always a pleasure. I appreciate the depth you bring
to an interview, and I love that we can talk
about the show and have fun and celebrate the fandom
and why people love it, but then also talk about
a lot of things that maybe people don't connect you
with and now get to know you a little deeper
and can be more seen by you in a way
because they feel like, well, Martin's gone through this and
(34:08):
he knows what this feeling is like, and he's not
just an actor, he's a human being, which I think
people can forget sometimes when they fall in love with
the character. So I love bringing that human element to
the world. And I really appreciate you being here.
Speaker 3 (34:22):
Oh, thanks man, it means a lot. And yeah, and
thank you for your service.
Speaker 2 (34:26):
And also, you know, I just want to acknowledge too.
I know I reached out in the wake of the
Maui disaster and your involvement and commitment to supporting that
community and you know, being a part of that. I
just you know, I think what you're endeavoring to do
with your platform and your skill set is really admirable
as well. So right back at you, buddy.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
Ah, thank you brother. We're all in this together. Well,
congratulations to you on all of your success. You know
I'm always cheering you on and you are welcome back anytime.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
Thanks man, I'll see you again. Maybe I'll see an season.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
Yes, I hope. So all right, b well and happy holidays,
Happy New Year.
Speaker 2 (35:04):
Yeah man, Happy holidays. Thanks for having me, Bud, I've.
Speaker 1 (35:08):
Never said this before. Is hosted by Me Tommy Dedario.
This podcast is executive produced by Andrew Piglisi at iHeartRadio
and by Me Tommy, with editing by Joshua Colaudney I've
never said this before is part of the Elvis Duran
podcast Network on iHeart Podcasts for more, rate, review and
subscribe to our show and if you liked this episode,
(35:31):
tell your friends. Until next time, I'm Tommy de Dario
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