January 18, 2023 • 56 mins
In this episode Jill, Laiya, and Aja write love letters to themselves and discuss why loving on yourself is so important. Call 866-HEY-JILL and leave us a message with your comments on this episode!
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to jay dot im a production of I Heart Radio.
Well Cello, Hi, everybody, welcome to j dot Ilga podcast.
My name is Jill Scott. Is my pleasure to be
here with my sister friends. Layah safe clap President an
(00:26):
age of Graydon dances here like I'd be the smart
kids would be like President and here and they'd be
that one kid trying to impress everybody that's President. And
then it'll be at the asshole kid to be like
President like me. I enjoyed President. Actually, I thought that
(00:46):
was that was that's cute. She relax. That was a
class clown. That's me. I like it. I'm into it.
I think I was a good girl, I mean, a
little person. I'm pretty sure these things. We really did
get four spankings in my life. Oh yeah, I was
that kid though I was. I got like two leg pops.
(01:08):
Yeah that's you know, I got two legs. I need
a poll on this, y'all. I don't know. I didn't
get a one fourteen year old backslap though, like and
I earned that one. I did too. I don't know.
I might have to ask. I mean, y'all a parents,
So I'm guessing that's true that like the less spankers
you got, the better kids you were. But that means
I was bad as ship. But I didn't think I was. No,
(01:30):
I'm saying I didn't get like I didn't get any
behavioral like feedback from school like that was never an issue,
never for me. Never you know, you're lying, I am
not wait wait wait wait wait? Did it? Was this
one time when the sixth grade girl swore I liked
this eighth grade boy. I wasn't thinking about that boy.
He was long and skinny. It wasn't my thing. I
(01:51):
just wasn't attracted to the boy. And I didn't think
he was very bright, you know what I mean. But
I was in the eighth grade. She was in the
sixth grade. But she's as tall as I am. Okay,
she's the tall girl. Anyway, she brought her cousin's down
from high school girls to fight me what was wrong
with her hands? She was in the sixth grade, she was,
(02:12):
but she told them that this eighth grade girl was
picking on her. I'm like picking on her. So they
come down to the school and they're like, you're picking
on my cousin. I was like picking on who. They're
like whatever, the cat. I know her name, but I'm
not gonna say it. And I was like, I don't
pick on anybody, and they were like, yeah, right, you
messing with my cousin. And I had to fight all
them big gass girls. One of them had a love ring, right,
(02:37):
like a love and hate ring from me. It was
just one of them had a love ring. And I
remember because I used to I said, really long nails,
And I used to do my nails every day. I
don't have nothing else to do, but I did my
nails every day, different color for every outfit I had.
Because I ain't handling, I had to make it work,
you know what I mean. Spiking the apolish was a dollar,
(02:59):
so I was trying to make it work, you know.
And I had dug my nails in this girl's face
and broke all my nails on in her face. And
I thought, I had, you know, really done something, and
I did, you know. I took my legs, but I
gave him back. But when I got into the mirror
of the bathroom and I looked at myself, I saw
love on my forehead. I saw love on my mother.
(03:29):
And then the principal wanted to suspend me mm hmm
forgetting John. Yeah, girl, Guls didn't even go to Earth.
These are high school students. I'm in the eighth grade
by myself. Miss Joyce say, because I know she marched up,
because that's a march. That's a march worthy. So long
(03:50):
it's march worthy with them long legs, let's go. Yeah,
nobody got suspended. She should have because she was definitely spended.
She's a person who had the people coming up there
and all of that. That's crazy. What if you had
gotten hurt her heard her just then you placed it
for a little while. I had a little bruise and
(04:11):
then it was like and like see light skin problems.
You'll not light skin what you're talking about. That's to
episode listeners. I'm just so a lot to you today
on the zoom. I'm feeling that we're all looking the
same complexion today. So I'm gonna come. I'm gonna I'm
gonna pull back on the light skin joke. You mean,
I'm simming them. You summon them today? They it's given
(04:36):
simming them today. Cute? You know we all yellow? Have you?
Great baby sim man man like you hate right, you
just came from my island I can see it. The moon. Look,
the moon is the cancer. The moons did cancer. I'm
meant to ask Amber what that means. She said, it
(04:58):
just means everybody is deep within the feelings right now
in any way in which you are feeling specifically, like,
shut up, agent, it's the trophy. Remember Yaba who came
on the show, right Yea Yabba hit me yesterday and
was like, girl, siste, don't say nothing to nobody. She like,
(05:20):
the moon cancel, girl, I don't know. I don't even
be knowing. This is just you know how your girlfriends,
all your girlfriends be knowing stuff and they just bring
things to you and you're just like, okay, I'm I
know that, Okay, I know that. But when mercury and
retrograde hits, we all like, I'm not signing that. I'm not.
(05:42):
It's all it's happening right now. We should be talking
to each other. We shouldn't be talking right now. I
don't know what. Maybe maybe we shouldn't be talking to
each other. Maybe maybe we shouldn't be talking to anybody.
I don't know. And thank you so much for listening
to Jay dot the podcast and then our pleasure to
not talk to you these things you eat, the meat,
(06:07):
you throw off the bones. You know what I'm saying.
You need the warnings. Uh huh, you just here's the thing.
More than don't talk to nobody, be mindful of everybody's feelings.
Be mindful of how you talk to folks, Be mindful
of your own needs. I feel so bad. I feel
like our whole group texting strange today. I was in
(06:29):
my feelings like I know, but you might have been in.
That's okay, It's it's my to tend to your needs. Well,
maybe we shouldn't talk to to other people, but we
could talk to ourselves. We could look that seg You know,
they don't know what we mean by that. They don't.
(06:52):
We decided that we were going to write love letters
to ourselves. Yeah, why we you do such a thing.
Why would you write a love letter to yourself? Because
you know the world is so busy, and because the
interweb is what it is. Um, you've got people that
(07:12):
you don't know. I saw I saw something on TikTok
today and there was a guy who was talking about
working out with this woman and he got he you know,
he stitched himself. And then later when he comes back,
and he's Steven saying that the comments that that he caught,
they were talking about how ugly he was and how
(07:34):
he never would stand a chance to even work out
with that woman, that um, you look like you stick,
that you look like a loser. He was just like
in tears, like now I actually work out, and she
says she wanted to work out, and I was like,
let's work out together, you know, and he was like,
I had no idea by putting myself out there in
(07:57):
that way what I would get back. And he was like,
it was just a lot of nasty, hateful, mean spirited comments.
So this is one of those opportunities where you know,
if you're dealing with anything remotely like that, whether it's
on any of the social media's, whether you're dealing with
(08:20):
hateful comments from family members or um from your boss,
or even from from yourself. Mm hm, pick a moment
and write a love letter to you. Yeah, so that's
what you know. It's interesting because I saw something very
similar to happen with Keikey Palmer, who was my big
faith and making comments about her looks and she just
(08:44):
had such a beautiful I don't even want to call
the clapback. It was just, h just a moment of clarity, like, honey,
like I love myself, Like I'm sorry that you have
an issue, and you felt that you had enough power
over me to exert that. But I loved the way
that she kind of reiterated that that love for herself
(09:05):
at that moment. And I know it can be difficult
to dredge that up because even even if you're not
having an issue like that, you know, there's a lot
of benefits to an exercise like this just in general, Like,
even if you're not having a specific issue, it can
be I open it in a lot of ways, you
know what I'm saying. It really give you a you know,
(09:28):
a burst in your creativity, yourself awareness, you know. And
this is actually like measurable things they talk about how
like this kind of thing can really be good for
your mental health, for your emotional health, and like I said,
just as an exercise just to kind of boost and
jump start your creativity. So you know, I may not
just be an answer to you know, an existing issue
(09:51):
or just something good to do. I ain't gonna lie
to you like this this for me, Wow, I was
just like mm hmm. You don't realize how much even
though you may feel Somebody said, do you feel loved,
You're like, yeah, I feel loved, I feel long, But
you don't realize certain things that you just don't hear.
(10:13):
Nobody has a better perspective on you than you. Nobody
and you kind of the only person who knows what
you need to hear. M you know, even though there
are times when people tell you things and you're just like, oh,
I didn't even know I needed to hear that, But
in retrospect, you're the person who knows the words that
need to be spoken to you. You know how you
(10:36):
need to be treated, you know how you need to
be affirmed, and it's like until you actually do it,
it's like it's it's just a good reminder of what
it is you need to hear and how you need
to move forward. I mean, I'll say that that's what
it is, what that exercise was for me. More will
(11:00):
talk after the break. I don't know if what this means,
but when I wrote mine, it kind of just flew out.
(11:20):
There are certain things that I really really enjoyed about
myself and I just wrote them. So I'm I'm gonna
read mine first. Okay, mm hmm, all right. Love letter
to Jill. I remember you from the beginning, when you
were small and full of imagination. You played by yourself
(11:42):
for hours. You still do. I remember how you read
stories to the boys outside. I recall how you kept
their attention, how they asked questions even though you were
so much younger. I remember the confidence it gave you,
how you rushed home and waited. They always showed up.
I remember they protected you for that. I remember when
(12:04):
things got dark and you went to work, you got
home so late, you gave up your seat for elders,
like your mommy said. I remember feeling proud of you.
I remember liking you humming to yourself. You sang to
walk to the bus. It felt like a private underbreadth
of joy from me to me. I love that you
still sing for nothing and mostly everything. I love that
(12:27):
it still lives in you. I love that you remember
your grandmother's skin and the feel of her night gown.
I love that you grew up sweet, despite the neighborhood
and some neighborhood kids who hated your clean clothes and
tidy hair and willingness to share. I love that you
still love despite jealousy. I have loved you from the beginning.
(12:51):
I know your heart. It's been a joy, even through
tears and my cherished pleasure to be you. And I
mean that. I love that letter. I mean that, and
I'm gonna read it to myself again and again. You
feel like I'm losing something special or something that's important
(13:14):
to me. I loved that. I used to go to
the store from my elders in the neighborhood. I love
that I come from from Joyce, Allas wool will co
around and cut the neighbors toenails. And I used to
be like, that is the off club, Like you've seen
old people feet and you've seen toenails. And she would
(13:37):
get she had a whole kid, and she would just
go to each neighbor and cut their toenails. And then
one day I remember it being like, Mom, why would
you do that so mad? I'm impressed, but I didn't
make an ugly face. I did too make it all
right now. And she said, because a lot of them
have diabetes and if they cut their toenails wrong, they
(13:57):
could bleed to death. And I was like, wow, I
love that. My grandmother used to say, Hey, come here,
are you hungry. I love that. And she would invite
strangers in for a meal and they would sit there
to wash their hands and sit there, and my grandmother
would feed them. I just love that about her. I
(14:19):
love that I am these people's descendant, that that kind
of spirit. I just had a moment recently in the
last two months where people that I love, even from Afar,
they needed something. Um they lost people that they loved
(14:41):
so much, and it was just towering and constant, and I,
you know, I invited them here, come here, let us
loan you. And we did. My family and I we did.
We cooked, we play music, we aft, we I listened,
(15:03):
you know, I just listened. I rubbed feet and run
baths and let him sleep and remind them you know
that life is still happening, even though this is the
darkest time you've ever known. This is the worst loss
you've ever felt. And as much as it pleased me,
(15:26):
it I mean, it gave me such I don't want
to say pride. It just made me feel helpful, useful.
I was gonna say, need, yeah, useful, mighty feeling. Oh child,
let me tell you some that is my drug of choice. Girl,
(15:48):
didn't that thing fire that is my drug of choice
to be able to help somebody. It's got me into
a little bit of trouble in my life. I won't
even lie, but I know the feeling you're talking about,
and it is like an adrenaline. Not adrenaline. It's less harsh.
(16:08):
It's like a love rush. It's like like it just
makes you feel like, thank you God, Life, I got this,
this gift. You know, all of the things that life
has brought me is sent me to this place, this
home that I call us house. I call it us
house because when Jaed was little, even be like Mom,
(16:29):
can we just go to us house? And I used
to love that that he wanted to go home. So
home has become a place for you know, my friends,
um that are dealing with something. You know, I can't say.
I can't make no promises like they're gonna walk out
of here and feeling one better. But if I could
(16:50):
get thirty percent, you know what I mean, just to
remind them that life is worth living and that the
loss may never it doesn't go away, you will always
feel it. But if you do the best you can
to hold on to the good stuff, the fun stuff,
(17:13):
the things that learned you and grew you and um
made your dream, you know those things, and especially with
from that person like you can you can get through
this too. That's such a good thing about love is that,
especially when you're down, is how God will show you
(17:36):
a person. You won't even think that it's going to
come from that place, right, It'll just it'll be a
friend that you think it's busy, where you think it's
so and so or you know, and they love you
and everything. But that happened to me my mother passed.
(17:57):
I had a friend who called me and just soothed
me into a nap, And it was like the last
person that I would have thought, as much as we
love each other and care about each other, it wasn't like,
you know how sometimes you think it's gonna be this person,
it's gonna be that person. But in that instance, it
(18:20):
bonded us together permanently in a way that I bonded
with nobody else. Some people you just some people you
just connect with and you like them and you don't
even have a real good reason why, you just do.
And then years later, many many many years later, and
you have interactions and they felt good every time every
(18:42):
time we saw them. He had interaction. It was like
fun with you and you're going about your business, going
on on your life, and then next thing you know,
you're doing a podcast together. Oh yeah, but yeah, no, no,
that's that was a beautiful letter. You know, it's funnying.
I knew this would have been that when we did this,
that I would hear things from you all that would
(19:03):
inspire me further. And one thing that inspired me about
your letter was that you talked to your little girl's self.
Mm hmm. And I'm gonna take that with me. I'm
gonna take that with me. That's what That was a
good time. Wasn't it a good time? And that was
a good time. It wasn't it was a good time
(19:23):
for me. Like I told you I had, I was
having a tough day when I did this. I was
having a tough day and I was like, yeah, I
don't even know what you ever think so fast in
your mind you have a serieson of thoughts, and they
didn't It's not like each of those thoughts hang around
long enough for you to say, oh I thought this,
(19:44):
and I thought this, and I got here. But you
know that you all kind of happened to the secession
and you ended up in a place. That's how I
did my letter. It was like I was thinking about
love and I was thinking about myself and how I
would make myself feel better, and it was like boom,
bum bum and write a letter to yourself. Mm hmmm.
And that's that's that's how kind of got to that
(20:05):
moment from for me, I think that's the best day
to do it, when you're not having a good day,
when you're when you're just like ready to screw it
all girl. I think that's the best day to write
a lot. It might be because I tried to do
it on a good day and it made me sad,
so I didn't do it. Sorry. That's how that's it
(20:25):
had the opposite effect for me. I was having a
really good day until somebody said, where your life. I
was like, what, I'm being productive over here, getting ship done,
hood dress this ship. I don't even know if I
like myself most days, but go ahead, Asia inspired me,
motivate me, move me all right, here we go. That's
(20:48):
a lot. That's a tall. That was a tall. That's
a tall, little order. If I wouldn't have said it,
you would have did it anyway. It's just because of
the words that came out. Don't you feel like that?
I feel like that. Every time I aine about to
open her mouth, I get excited. Not as good as you. Sure,
actually it don't say it is, but I'm this is.
(21:10):
This is from my heart, from my court, my heart,
dear angel. I miss you. I mean I see you
every day, but I missed being alone with you, just
listening to music or eating food, just doing nothing or
laying quietly. I love how you think, even when you
(21:31):
bounce from subject to subject L O L. I love
that you like all kinds of art, and I love
your passion. You're so passionate. When you love something, you're
all in. I love that you can keep it cool,
to keep the peace in yourself with others. It makes
me sad, though that sometimes you feel so unworthy and
(21:52):
so unsure. I believe in you, though I want you
to take good care of yourself. I worry about you.
I love you, and I don't want to lose you.
I admit I should think of you more. I'll do better.
I get distracted easily, and I promised to prioritize you
from now on. I do love you. I do I
(22:15):
love you. I want to see you in always your
best girl, that my heart ditto. That's everything I was
gonna say, girl, turn me whole. I was beautiful, inspired, motivated,
moves sick. I mean, I think it's a good thing
(22:41):
for me. It's like, I don't know, maybe my mind
set and it wasn't like a set mindset. I'm just
trying to think back as to where my mind was
at the time. But I guess my mindset is just
kind of like what do I need to hear right now?
And I could really identify with being ab out to
cry because I did. I after I read mine, as
(23:03):
I read mine out loud to myself because I was,
let me read this now, I would loud to myself.
And when I read it out a lot to myself
the first time, I did cry because I did I
needed to hear those words at the time. I still
do like I needed to hear those words. And when
you said you was gonna read it to yourself every day,
read it to myself every day, you know, Because I
(23:27):
don't know, I feel like sometimes you know, And it's
funny because I tell people this and I feel like
sometimes and I don't have any resentment of my hot
behind this because I hear a lot of people talk
about it. I have been for a lot of years
some of my people's go to person, and I say
this to other people all the time. But as you
know how that is when you gotta turn things on yourself,
like you know, nobody's coming, like check for yourself, you know.
(23:54):
And it's like, it's not that other people don't love you.
I think a lot of times we're waiting, you know
what I'm saying, We're waiting on something to happen, and
we can really come and check for ourselves. And don't
wait to hear the things that you need to hear.
Don't don't wait on anyone else to say them, you know,
(24:14):
say them to you. You know what I mean? And
it's not And don't downplay yourself. Well I can't. It's me.
I can't say. Who are you? Who are you to
say that about you? Who are you not to say
loving things? Not to say loving things about you? You
were there the whole thing, the whole time. If you
(24:35):
were gonna say this to someone else, you would want
that person to take you seriously if they said to you, all, no,
you're just saying that because you are you would be like, no,
I'm saying that because it's the truth. You have the
ability to be truthful with yourself. It's a very songwriter
like assignment to y'all. I don't know if y'all realize this,
but you did it felt like y'all did that with
ease as well, because part of this is what you do.
(24:58):
So I think that it should not be gone without
saying that, like you know, and it's it may be
a little harder for some of us others that don't
time spend time with ourselves because it's required for our
craft to be better, you know what I'm saying. Yeah,
I think that's fast, definitely, but I submit that you
can do right. Tend Bread ever said that and I thought,
(25:20):
I was like, yeah, I would. Yeah, that's a good one.
That was a good way. That starts with a list, honey,
Amber beyond right, ten things that, um that you love
about yourself. Yeah, and it's okay, let's start with five
and make it easy. What did I say? I said, Um,
the truth is an ego. No, the truth is the truth.
(25:44):
You are allowed to love yourself. And I don't just
mean you're your bits and pieces, but you can love
your bits and pieces too. It's okay, it's all right,
have a love fest. And you are aware. See that's
the thing. You actually are aware. You're aware, you know,
you know it's good. Let it go out there. Look
(26:09):
that on that purple. Write it up. Make you change
the perspective because I shut myself like I usually sometimes
my father has a tendency to uh, I tease him.
He compliments himself before I can get to it, and
to a point where, like we we argue about it
quite frequently, like can I just let me say it before,
like you say the things and then you before you
(26:30):
even finish. It's like, yeah, I killed that, that was deep,
that was this, and and I go, Daddy, shouldn't and
you let somebody else tell you that though, because like
you say it to me, don't you want to wait
for me to tell you? And I almost feel bad
in this moment that I had these exchanges with him,
because no, my daddy is like, I ain't all wait
for nobody, Like I heard it, I said it. I
know it was profound, and who I'm waiting on? Oh?
(26:57):
I got to apologize to Ron and get y listen.
I apologize to my mother and the spirit realm on
a consistent basis. Susan, sorry, girl, I'm sorry. I'm sorry
because you had tried to told me you had tried
to say it. But you know, I mean that meant
(27:18):
you got a good person. Yeah, I happens we get older.
That happens more frequently than we definitely would like it to.
I think, Chuck, you said Asia, whether your parents what
you or not, We're gonna take a quick break and
then we'll be right back. Come on, list, Come on list,
(27:48):
I got, I got I love hard. I like that.
I like that. I was about to write something like
I love that as loud as I am. I am
as much a listener. True, that definitely, that's where I'm at.
(28:08):
I love my friends and my um. I can't do that.
I love my friend, Okay, I try. I can't talk much. Okay, Well,
you can love the tribe you chose your tasting friends.
I do love okay. I love my taste and friends.
I'm really good at that. I don't really Okay, So
(28:29):
what else youre talking about? Will she? I wish you
you know, this is one of the few times where
I wish you all could just see the little girl. Yes, yes,
that's why you you write yourself a love letter or
you write down things that you love about yourself, because
it just it doesn't feel like a hug. I want
(28:50):
to do a combo thing like you and Asia, like
I want to come from Asia's perspective, and then I
want to do jil like I want to do the
little girl thing. But then I liked it what Asia did.
The way she was like talking to herself like pep
herself and reminding herself. So yeah, that's why I said.
It's like and apologizing to herself and laughing at herself.
That was so lovely. Yeah, it was love. You just need,
(29:11):
like I need to hear somebody's to hear y'alls. I
was like, wait, so what we do ones that look like?
What does that sound like? We'll look at that. That's
exactly what we're here. I'm glad you were transparing hear it. Yeah,
we're letting you hear it so that you can do
your own I promise you'all. Love my little heart. I
can't believe it still works like it does, but I'm
so glad it does feel great. It does loving all
(29:35):
my parents, I got things. I guess I gotta do it.
Without bringing you gotta do it, but stop making other
people a part of it, like okay, okay, okay, I'm
trying to tell you I deeply appreciate your struggle with
this and I'm so glad you girl. You're a blessing
to these people who are listening, because it isn't as
(29:55):
easy as it looks. It's not as easy as it
And then, yeah, I don't think I made it look easy.
I think I was stuttering and all the things ya
y'all felt a little it was a little cool. But
let me tell y'all why y'all don't think y'all made
it look easy. What you don't because easy would be
(30:17):
too much of a simple word to apply to what
y'all both did. But y'all have a natural way with words,
and so it does appear. And I I know y'all,
but even to me who knows you, it does appear
that it's easier for it to flow out, for you
to express your feelings, to put word to feeling than
the average person. So yeah, it without offending you, because
(30:37):
I know it ain't easy for y'all, but it does
sound like it flows really pretty, like even when you're
crying and stuttering through it, which Jill, you didn't stutter.
Now It's okay. I why is that in my throat?
I was like, I'm feeling at my thought it comes
(30:58):
and this cause it's a side aim. It comes at
such a great time because I have so much on
my plate and so many things to look forward to
that easily, I know me, I can't get anxious. You know,
fear exists. I try to fight that mother sucker, but
(31:20):
nonetheless it exists, and I can feel overwhelmed, you know,
by all the things that are coming my way. And
I writing that reminded me of the little girl who
just did it because it felt good period, Because it
(31:42):
feels good period, like I feel such a release. Sometimes
you gotta get some permission to feel good, like thank
you for giving us permission. And I think, like I said,
as you were doing it, as much as I was
listening to you, I was thinking about, like, dang, what
did I what did I love about myself as a
little person, as a young person. I remember recently a
(32:03):
friend of mine was like, do you remember what you
said to me when we first met. I was like, child, no,
I don't remember, and you, like you was like, hey,
my name is Adria, and you should get to know
me because I'm gonna be famous one day. How old
were you do you remember? Like fifteen or sixteen? I
(32:24):
don't know, just being goofy, you know what I mean?
Like I was like it. The thing about it is
when you're young and that fear hasn't crush you or
try to crush you. Yet it happens earlier now if
you ask, it does. And I think I think I
(32:46):
love that about myself. I love that I was always
the first of my hand like I didn't care. I
was always the first kid to raise my hands. I
wanted to read out loud out, I wanted to take
on a challenge. I loved that about myself. My daughter
was having an issue with she's a drama major, and
she was having an issue with it with something she
(33:08):
was having to play. And I remember being twelve years
old and wanting so bad too. I was doing a
Shakespeare thing and wanting so bad to be Catherine from
the Taming of the True, but I couldn't because they
cast somebody else. So my teacher, who was brilliant at
the time, she said, well, you know, in Shakespeare's time,
(33:31):
women weren't allowed in the theater. She was like, so
all the men had to play the women's roles. She
was like, well, how about we just do that with
you and just flip it around and you could be Petruchio.
And I was like, and I was. I was petru
And he was like one of the only all black
troops in this thing that we came out to perform for.
(33:53):
And me and my best friend were Catherine and Petruchio.
And I was like the only black girl that had
done a gender been enrolling the whole thing. So it
was just like really cool, Like I love that. That
wasn't I wasn't fearful of that. I see some kids
twelve in the thirteen age group, you know, and they're
(34:14):
like forty five, forty two, twenty three. I mean that
fear gets strong as you get older. Yeah, you just
take the first person to shoot you down, and then
another one and another one and another one. Oh am,
I gonna get up that. The first fear, the first
real fear was was Mr Lovitt's in math. I know
(34:40):
I told you guys about him because I still talk
about him in therapy. Yeah, that man, he said, you
are so ugly. I don't know how anyone could bear
to look at it. You are so stupid you should
just face the wall. What. Oh, Mr I was in
(35:01):
the seventh grade. Why a teacher like that? Wow, it's amazing,
big fat Mr love it. He gave me a big fat,
juicy f wow. Because once my mom came to the
school and talked to him the next day, he was like,
(35:23):
so I'm mean to you. That's the way he reacted.
That's the way he reacted. No, No, he didn't get fired.
When you know teachers back when we was kids, they
got away with a lot, a lot. That's why I said.
That's why I apologized to y'all. When we were talking.
(35:44):
I don't know if we were talking to something Mitchell
or somebody, and I had a whole like regurgitation of Mr.
Tyson calling me a bumbling idiot and telling my friends
not to hang out with me. M And to this day,
Mr Typson he's still around. He ain't that old. And
some of my classmates go out to dinner with him
every year because that's my favorite teacher. And I'd be like, really,
I guess for y'all, ye parents have to come up
(36:09):
for that one. To Jim yea, I wish you would
have gave me an because remote bot out that, like,
let me tell you something. I took that F I
took it. My grade still still with all the rest
of the grazing on my report guard, I still had
a B average. So it didn't destroy you. So I
let the fuck go. But from that on, that moment on,
(36:34):
every time I got to a math class, I felt
like my heart with race and I would you know,
because I didn't know what this meant? Is this another
moment where because I was behind the math, I was
how was you in high school? And math struggled? Struggle
my ass off, I struggled. But you know again, you
know I was at girls high so school. You know
(36:57):
when I didn't pass math, I didn't get to walk
m M meant dad. And I attribute some of that
to my early education. And I contribute that to Mr
Lovitt because when I because I went to summer school
every year, every year, faithfully, and every year, I got
an a trauma. That's math trauma. That's what that is.
(37:17):
But you know, side note, a lot of girls and
also specifically and especially black girls, have a lot of
trauma around math. Me too, Joe I have a lot,
have a lot. I want to give a moment a little,
a little shout out to Grassroots Community Foundation and had
(37:39):
a program specifically addressing this that was spearheaded by one
of their young super girls, Amina, who came up with
a program to address this issue with young middle school
black girls. That's when it starts. That's interested. It definitely
starts a little school that is that's deep. I didn't
know that it was a trying. I didn't. I didn't
(38:00):
know that it is a real thing, it's a real being.
I want to also take this moment side note to
appreciate those teachers who are out here not inflicting trauma
on young people, because as you can see, this stays
with us. Right, I'm a shout out Brent Elementary School,
(38:21):
with which I know I've always I've done already on
this podcast before at some point I'm sure Brent Elementary School,
Roberty Brent, Washington, d C. Circa eighties. I would say
between eighty two and eighty seven for me, But I
just want to shout them out. Every single solitary teacher
from kindergarten to sixth grade was a black woman, including science,
(38:44):
including music, including Jim, including our school counselor and our principle.
Shout out to Dr Francis Plumber. Listen, Dr, I know
we was raised in d C, y'all, which I don't
understand what agents saying. This is really still a big deal.
And we wanted to the DC ist, the blacktiest black
(39:08):
that is black. He had. We had every single one
of my teachers and my gifted and talented teacher whose
idea it was for me to gender be in that role.
Msminton shout out. You know what I'm saying. These women
shaped and molded me as a person from kindergarten to
sixth grade. I was taught by a black woman, and
(39:28):
many of them had advanced degrees. And I think now
that I know what I know about how they hired
teachers and how principles are are responsible for this. Now
I know that this was intentional and this was done
by a black woman. Dr Plumber who hired these women
who no doubt many of them went to DC Teachers College.
So shout out to to to that school that later
(39:51):
one became U d C. So I just want y'all
to know, so thank thank you to our little people.
Thank you Missia Warren shout out. I want to shout
out Dana Miller, who happened to be um Jets math tutor.
(40:15):
And it was a rough go for a while, but
miss Dana has she's out of Philadelphia and I'm gonna
send you know, make sure I send you a link
um to where you can reach her if you're in
the Philadelphia area and you're you're struggling where your child
is struggling in math, because she has a way. There's
(40:35):
always a giggle, there's there's always um some level of
fun which I can't you know, like all fun math
fun fun math. There's fun math. Math is fun. Yeah.
I could hear my child laughing any other room and
I was like, wow, that's impressive. And slowly but steady
(41:00):
league his confidence grew MA and um, I just want
to let you guys know that there's somebody out there
who has a gentle way and extreme knowledge of mathematics
and it's definitely invested in getting your child or yourself
to another level. Man roots link in there too, because
(41:22):
they just a wealth of resources. And also too, when
I did homeschool with my my kids, y'all know, like
I said, math again, not my ministry either so oursourced
to Melanie Young, who is amazing also out of Philadelphia,
out of University of Pennsylvania, amazing black woman, works with
(41:45):
black family, all kinds of families, but um, she definitely
worked with my family and my kids and when they
had their homeschool graduation, she came to support them. So again,
this to me, that pouring of love into young people
and particularly you know, around things that we comment like
(42:05):
traumas that we share that it stays with us, the
love and the trauma. But we thank God for the
love because we're able to kind of talk about it
now and share that and and not repeat those same
cycles and paying attention to those things for our own kids.
But if you can't come home and tell you somebody
that says some wild ship, believe them because they don't
(42:28):
get saying wild things. Please, especially when it's coming from
a teacher. Baby, when your kid is saying that a teacher,
that was like, seriously, some of the many things I
and I did. I did. I faced the wall. It's
like it's under the rest of the year. But guess
what I did. I wrote the whole time, I wrote
(42:50):
the whole time. I wrote a little plays. I wrote stories,
I wrote poetry, I wrote, I wrote the whole time,
so that I just started looking forward to that little
part because I knew he wouldn't think about me at all.
He didn't. He never even said hello that I was
in a room. Nothing from that point on was my
mother came to the school. He never spoke to me again.
(43:12):
And I was happy because I didn't want I didn't
want no parts more conversation. After the break, you know,
(43:33):
I was reading, um, it's like a young person's book,
but it's a biography on Octavia Butler, and some years ago,
like her notebooks were discovered and people talked about how
she had manifested and written all of these things that
she wanted to become, being a bestseller, what money she
(43:56):
wanted to make, the impact she wanted to make, and
thinking of her as a little girl, and reading about
her as a little girl, you said, you know what
I did. I wrote everywhere she wents used to bring
a pink notebook, and she published her first story when
she was ten. But she got you know, rejected a
lot of times too, so like lots of rejection because
(44:19):
she was writing science fiction, and you know, people didn't
want to hear that from her. Um. But what's interesting
about her story was just you could see the little
girl part. So when you told me about when you were, like,
you know what I did. She was. She was lonely.
She was a bit of an eyeball, and two combat
the loneliness. She wrote. She wrote stories to entertain herself.
(44:42):
She would read stories and they would be trash, and
she would write a story because she would say, you know,
I think I could probably write a better story than
this trash of reading. And I love that. I love
that because it gets into Tony Morrison who said, hey,
if there's a book you haven't read yet, write it mhm.
And I just love that. I love the thought of
(45:02):
that it can turn out okay, that that that painful experience,
that thing that makes that's supposed to make you not
love yourself mm hmm. It doesn't have to be the
end of the story for you. You can you can
take that moment and shifted ship. I'm like, thirty years later,
I just realized my teacher that was calling me a
bumbling idiot didn't even acknowledge that I was two years
(45:24):
ahead of everybody in the school. How am I idiot?
I'm younger than everybody in my class, in my grade,
and you get paid now to give your opinion on
a wealth of different things. Yeah, you know, I don't
call me where girl was was on something and I
you know, I'm a big fan of her. And she
(45:45):
said something I'm paraphrasing. When somebody is jealous, there's something
that you can't even give them. It's not even like
it's a purse or a necklace. You can't even give
them what they're jealous of. It's something you know that's
innate to you. She said. She was like, when I
(46:06):
walk into a room by light of the room, you
you dark in the room. Bitch, what what can you?
What can you do about that? Nothing? But but you
can damn. Somebody's like, that's what they try. They can't
they try. I want to I want to take this
moment also to say I'm sorry that that happened. I'm
sorry that he did that. You didn't deserve that. You
(46:32):
He should never have been allowed to speak to you
that way. And even though those people still associate themselves
with him, and I know that that's painful again because
they were ended up working on Wall Street and being doctors,
it's like five Wall Street doctors, lawyers. You know, they're
gonna have dinner with him. I'm sorry. He didn't care
(46:53):
about any of that. He didn't care about that, that
wasn't your path at all. So he just completely miss
understood a student, misunderstood. He chose to misunderstand the student
he chose. He just he chose violence in a way
that was absolutely unnecess unnecessary, harmful, purposeful in all the
(47:18):
ways that a person can be harmful. It's like people
talking about language. Language can cut just as much as
any kind of physical violence. And you know, I really
I hate that that happened to you, and you didn't
deserve that. And I just want to tell you right now,
like you know, whatever you feel about it is valid.
(47:39):
I just I just say it once and I'm done.
I said it. Yeah, we're gonna punch this ass out
hout out, Like you said, it's far too many good
teachers and great teacher experiences to let him win in
that situation. And say what you're saying with Mr. Somebody
on here know where these teachers weren't good. Neither of
(48:01):
them won anything that part. They didn't win. They didn't
win at all. The worst way possible. You all blossom.
I'm talking about in their lives. I'm talking about an hour.
They didn't win at all, not even the slightest, Mr Levin,
do you even know? Do you even know? It's ugly?
(48:25):
Could never? Do you know what they say about me today?
You know what they say? Don't they sprints all to
which I caused? Honey, But a mere smile, minkle in
the eye, bitch down, Take the people down. All they
(48:48):
need to see is the smile that they know is me? Sir?
Do they know what you do? Does they want you? Good? Bye?
Mr Leat. I'm gonna try my best not to mention
him anymore, but it may come up. It may come
up that man to which we should I'll not name, yes,
(49:09):
which we shall not name, because we don't name them.
We name people to give power them. Yeah, shout out
the good one. But I like your thinking them. Take
a deep breath, letten, take a deep breath. Man in
this life right here? Y, it's a thing, is it not?
(49:32):
It's a thing. It is a thing. Oh, I'm so
grateful for age. Some people didn't make it. Yeah, yeah,
I know. It's funny. My boyfriend always gets mad because
I say it's been a long life, and he's like,
why do you act like it's about the end. I'm like, no,
I'm not acting like it's about the end. But you
gotta understand, like, these first four decades, it's been a
(49:53):
doing me. We'd have done some things. It's been a
whole story, a whole story's many chapters in this book.
Who many think about that? Listen, I don't know wherever
you are. I don't I don't know exactly what you're
doing except for listening to Jay dot Ilda podcasts, and
(50:16):
we really thank you for that. I would love to
share this poem about love. You ain't done that in
a while. Come on, Jim, we like it when you
do that. Man. This is This is written by Philadelphia
poet Laureat Ursula Rucker. She writes, on this day, there
(50:36):
will be no talk of war or politic or disaster
or death. Love is alive today, so we will speak
only of love. There will be only love on tom
and up and in heart and thought. And it won't
be that Hollywood type of love, not TV love, not
(50:58):
dime store novel love, and certainly not mainstream music love. Love, love,
you know love, love that has been worked on love
like gardens and term papers. Love that has been nurtured,
like children, and well like children. Love that falls, crashes,
(51:24):
even burns, but dusts off, fixes up and rises, rises
more brilliant than before. Phoenix love, Yeah, phoenix love. So
let us speak only of love, healing love, No herbal
or over the counsel, love, m real healing, love like God,
(51:46):
love like mother's love, lovers love, child's love, like best friend.
Love and change the world love, human love, humans love, love,
soft love, heart word, but just love, enjoyed the new garden.
Work on it together. Ursula Rucker. M m mmm mm hmmm,
(52:16):
she said, no herbal or, over the counter, lover real healing,
the combination of which cannot take the combination of her
words and your voice. It's too much. It was just
the words, the words. Fucking I love you, Ursula. We
love you, Ursula in the words words, the words. Some
(52:46):
people just have an understanding. M hm. And so we
thank God, thank God, and we send love to the artists,
to the poets, songwriters. Thank you all for the word makers, makers,
the painters, the sculptors, thank you, We thank you. The dancers.
(53:12):
Come on, all that evoke in of emotion the musicians listen.
Thank you all for teaching us how to love mm
hmm had the birds maybe that the actions, but you
knew how to say it. Yeah, we want, she said,
because some of them may live in we're talking about
(53:36):
the were talking about. We're talking about the art. Love
this show. Deep breaths. Take a moment and love yourself today. Okay,
take fifty moments, take a thousand bucket, going to love
(53:58):
yourself all day, all night. You're worth it and so deserving.
Thank you so much for listening to Jay dot Ilga podcast.
It is always our pleasure to have conversation that sparks conversation,
love and light, y'all, how do you eat an elephant?
(54:23):
One by it kind? Hello, dear listeners, it's Amber the
producer here. I love this episode. I just love and
we love ourselves, I really do. And we're finishing it
out with Layah's completed assignments. Hey y'all, it's Laia and yes,
(54:45):
I have reluctantly written my top five things that I
love about me and shout say everybody's in my tribe
that is challenged by this challenge. It ain't easy, but
we have to do it all right, So here we
go in no particular order. Number five, I am a
conscious work in progress. I love that about me. Number four.
I love that I try to consider all in most situations.
(55:09):
Number three. I love that I refused to give up,
but I am not opposed to giving in. You know
what I'm laying. Number two, I love that I am
open to most things and all kinds of adventures. Uh.
Number one, I love how hard I love, no matter
the outcome. And a bonus one for you and for me?
(55:30):
What really for me? Because this is about me. I
love the complexities of my tight walp okay and now
challenge y'all see it's not easy, all right, you do it? Love,
y'all see it the next show. Hi, you have comments
(56:00):
on something that we said in this episode called eight
six six. Hey, Jill, if you want to add to
this conversation, that's eight six six nine five four five five.
Don't forget to tell us your name and the episode
you're referring to. You might just hear your message on
a future episode. Thank you for listening to Jill Scott
(56:21):
presents Jay dot Ill. The podcast Ja dot Ill is
a production of I Heart Radio for More podcast from
I heart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app, Apple podcast,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Welcome to jay dot im a production of I Heart Radio.
Well Cello, Hi, everybody, welcome to j dot Ilga podcast.
My name is Jill Scott. Is my pleasure to be
here with my sister friends. Layah safe clap President an
(00:26):
age of Graydon dances here like I'd be the smart
kids would be like President and here and they'd be
that one kid trying to impress everybody that's President. And
then it'll be at the asshole kid to be like
President like me. I enjoyed President. Actually, I thought that
(00:46):
was that was that's cute. She relax. That was a
class clown. That's me. I like it. I'm into it.
I think I was a good girl, I mean, a
little person. I'm pretty sure these things. We really did
get four spankings in my life. Oh yeah, I was
that kid though I was. I got like two leg pops.
(01:08):
Yeah that's you know, I got two legs. I need
a poll on this, y'all. I don't know. I didn't
get a one fourteen year old backslap though, like and
I earned that one. I did too. I don't know.
I might have to ask. I mean, y'all a parents,
So I'm guessing that's true that like the less spankers
you got, the better kids you were. But that means
I was bad as ship. But I didn't think I was. No,
(01:30):
I'm saying I didn't get like I didn't get any
behavioral like feedback from school like that was never an issue,
never for me. Never you know, you're lying, I am
not wait wait wait wait wait? Did it? Was this
one time when the sixth grade girl swore I liked
this eighth grade boy. I wasn't thinking about that boy.
He was long and skinny. It wasn't my thing. I
(01:51):
just wasn't attracted to the boy. And I didn't think
he was very bright, you know what I mean. But
I was in the eighth grade. She was in the
sixth grade. But she's as tall as I am. Okay,
she's the tall girl. Anyway, she brought her cousin's down
from high school girls to fight me what was wrong
with her hands? She was in the sixth grade, she was,
(02:12):
but she told them that this eighth grade girl was
picking on her. I'm like picking on her. So they
come down to the school and they're like, you're picking
on my cousin. I was like picking on who. They're
like whatever, the cat. I know her name, but I'm
not gonna say it. And I was like, I don't
pick on anybody, and they were like, yeah, right, you
messing with my cousin. And I had to fight all
them big gass girls. One of them had a love ring, right,
(02:37):
like a love and hate ring from me. It was
just one of them had a love ring. And I
remember because I used to I said, really long nails,
And I used to do my nails every day. I
don't have nothing else to do, but I did my
nails every day, different color for every outfit I had.
Because I ain't handling, I had to make it work,
you know what I mean. Spiking the apolish was a dollar,
(02:59):
so I was trying to make it work, you know.
And I had dug my nails in this girl's face
and broke all my nails on in her face. And
I thought, I had, you know, really done something, and
I did, you know. I took my legs, but I
gave him back. But when I got into the mirror
of the bathroom and I looked at myself, I saw
love on my forehead. I saw love on my mother.
(03:29):
And then the principal wanted to suspend me mm hmm
forgetting John. Yeah, girl, Guls didn't even go to Earth.
These are high school students. I'm in the eighth grade
by myself. Miss Joyce say, because I know she marched up,
because that's a march. That's a march worthy. So long
(03:50):
it's march worthy with them long legs, let's go. Yeah,
nobody got suspended. She should have because she was definitely spended.
She's a person who had the people coming up there
and all of that. That's crazy. What if you had
gotten hurt her heard her just then you placed it
for a little while. I had a little bruise and
(04:11):
then it was like and like see light skin problems.
You'll not light skin what you're talking about. That's to
episode listeners. I'm just so a lot to you today
on the zoom. I'm feeling that we're all looking the
same complexion today. So I'm gonna come. I'm gonna I'm
gonna pull back on the light skin joke. You mean,
I'm simming them. You summon them today? They it's given
(04:36):
simming them today. Cute? You know we all yellow? Have you?
Great baby sim man man like you hate right, you
just came from my island I can see it. The moon. Look,
the moon is the cancer. The moons did cancer. I'm
meant to ask Amber what that means. She said, it
(04:58):
just means everybody is deep within the feelings right now
in any way in which you are feeling specifically, like,
shut up, agent, it's the trophy. Remember Yaba who came
on the show, right Yea Yabba hit me yesterday and
was like, girl, siste, don't say nothing to nobody. She like,
(05:20):
the moon cancel, girl, I don't know. I don't even
be knowing. This is just you know how your girlfriends,
all your girlfriends be knowing stuff and they just bring
things to you and you're just like, okay, I'm I
know that, Okay, I know that. But when mercury and
retrograde hits, we all like, I'm not signing that. I'm not.
(05:42):
It's all it's happening right now. We should be talking
to each other. We shouldn't be talking right now. I
don't know what. Maybe maybe we shouldn't be talking to
each other. Maybe maybe we shouldn't be talking to anybody.
I don't know. And thank you so much for listening
to Jay dot the podcast and then our pleasure to
not talk to you these things you eat, the meat,
(06:07):
you throw off the bones. You know what I'm saying.
You need the warnings. Uh huh, you just here's the thing.
More than don't talk to nobody, be mindful of everybody's feelings.
Be mindful of how you talk to folks, Be mindful
of your own needs. I feel so bad. I feel
like our whole group texting strange today. I was in
(06:29):
my feelings like I know, but you might have been in.
That's okay, It's it's my to tend to your needs. Well,
maybe we shouldn't talk to to other people, but we
could talk to ourselves. We could look that seg You know,
they don't know what we mean by that. They don't.
(06:52):
We decided that we were going to write love letters
to ourselves. Yeah, why we you do such a thing.
Why would you write a love letter to yourself? Because
you know the world is so busy, and because the
interweb is what it is. Um, you've got people that
(07:12):
you don't know. I saw I saw something on TikTok
today and there was a guy who was talking about
working out with this woman and he got he you know,
he stitched himself. And then later when he comes back,
and he's Steven saying that the comments that that he caught,
they were talking about how ugly he was and how
(07:34):
he never would stand a chance to even work out
with that woman, that um, you look like you stick,
that you look like a loser. He was just like
in tears, like now I actually work out, and she
says she wanted to work out, and I was like,
let's work out together, you know, and he was like,
I had no idea by putting myself out there in
(07:57):
that way what I would get back. And he was like,
it was just a lot of nasty, hateful, mean spirited comments.
So this is one of those opportunities where you know,
if you're dealing with anything remotely like that, whether it's
on any of the social media's, whether you're dealing with
(08:20):
hateful comments from family members or um from your boss,
or even from from yourself. Mm hm, pick a moment
and write a love letter to you. Yeah, so that's
what you know. It's interesting because I saw something very
similar to happen with Keikey Palmer, who was my big
faith and making comments about her looks and she just
(08:44):
had such a beautiful I don't even want to call
the clapback. It was just, h just a moment of clarity, like, honey,
like I love myself, Like I'm sorry that you have
an issue, and you felt that you had enough power
over me to exert that. But I loved the way
that she kind of reiterated that that love for herself
(09:05):
at that moment. And I know it can be difficult
to dredge that up because even even if you're not
having an issue like that, you know, there's a lot
of benefits to an exercise like this just in general, Like,
even if you're not having a specific issue, it can
be I open it in a lot of ways, you
know what I'm saying. It really give you a you know,
(09:28):
a burst in your creativity, yourself awareness, you know. And
this is actually like measurable things they talk about how
like this kind of thing can really be good for
your mental health, for your emotional health, and like I said,
just as an exercise just to kind of boost and
jump start your creativity. So you know, I may not
just be an answer to you know, an existing issue
(09:51):
or just something good to do. I ain't gonna lie
to you like this this for me, Wow, I was
just like mm hmm. You don't realize how much even
though you may feel Somebody said, do you feel loved,
You're like, yeah, I feel loved, I feel long, But
you don't realize certain things that you just don't hear.
(10:13):
Nobody has a better perspective on you than you. Nobody
and you kind of the only person who knows what
you need to hear. M you know, even though there
are times when people tell you things and you're just like, oh,
I didn't even know I needed to hear that, But
in retrospect, you're the person who knows the words that
need to be spoken to you. You know how you
(10:36):
need to be treated, you know how you need to
be affirmed, and it's like until you actually do it,
it's like it's it's just a good reminder of what
it is you need to hear and how you need
to move forward. I mean, I'll say that that's what
it is, what that exercise was for me. More will
(11:00):
talk after the break. I don't know if what this means,
but when I wrote mine, it kind of just flew out.
(11:20):
There are certain things that I really really enjoyed about
myself and I just wrote them. So I'm I'm gonna
read mine first. Okay, mm hmm, all right. Love letter
to Jill. I remember you from the beginning, when you
were small and full of imagination. You played by yourself
(11:42):
for hours. You still do. I remember how you read
stories to the boys outside. I recall how you kept
their attention, how they asked questions even though you were
so much younger. I remember the confidence it gave you,
how you rushed home and waited. They always showed up.
I remember they protected you for that. I remember when
(12:04):
things got dark and you went to work, you got
home so late, you gave up your seat for elders,
like your mommy said. I remember feeling proud of you.
I remember liking you humming to yourself. You sang to
walk to the bus. It felt like a private underbreadth
of joy from me to me. I love that you
still sing for nothing and mostly everything. I love that
(12:27):
it still lives in you. I love that you remember
your grandmother's skin and the feel of her night gown.
I love that you grew up sweet, despite the neighborhood
and some neighborhood kids who hated your clean clothes and
tidy hair and willingness to share. I love that you
still love despite jealousy. I have loved you from the beginning.
(12:51):
I know your heart. It's been a joy, even through
tears and my cherished pleasure to be you. And I
mean that. I love that letter. I mean that, and
I'm gonna read it to myself again and again. You
feel like I'm losing something special or something that's important
(13:14):
to me. I loved that. I used to go to
the store from my elders in the neighborhood. I love
that I come from from Joyce, Allas wool will co
around and cut the neighbors toenails. And I used to
be like, that is the off club, Like you've seen
old people feet and you've seen toenails. And she would
(13:37):
get she had a whole kid, and she would just
go to each neighbor and cut their toenails. And then
one day I remember it being like, Mom, why would
you do that so mad? I'm impressed, but I didn't
make an ugly face. I did too make it all
right now. And she said, because a lot of them
have diabetes and if they cut their toenails wrong, they
(13:57):
could bleed to death. And I was like, wow, I
love that. My grandmother used to say, Hey, come here,
are you hungry. I love that. And she would invite
strangers in for a meal and they would sit there
to wash their hands and sit there, and my grandmother
would feed them. I just love that about her. I
(14:19):
love that I am these people's descendant, that that kind
of spirit. I just had a moment recently in the
last two months where people that I love, even from Afar,
they needed something. Um they lost people that they loved
(14:41):
so much, and it was just towering and constant, and I,
you know, I invited them here, come here, let us
loan you. And we did. My family and I we did.
We cooked, we play music, we aft, we I listened,
(15:03):
you know, I just listened. I rubbed feet and run
baths and let him sleep and remind them you know
that life is still happening, even though this is the
darkest time you've ever known. This is the worst loss
you've ever felt. And as much as it pleased me,
(15:26):
it I mean, it gave me such I don't want
to say pride. It just made me feel helpful, useful.
I was gonna say, need, yeah, useful, mighty feeling. Oh child,
let me tell you some that is my drug of choice. Girl,
(15:48):
didn't that thing fire that is my drug of choice
to be able to help somebody. It's got me into
a little bit of trouble in my life. I won't
even lie, but I know the feeling you're talking about,
and it is like an adrenaline. Not adrenaline. It's less harsh.
(16:08):
It's like a love rush. It's like like it just
makes you feel like, thank you God, Life, I got this,
this gift. You know, all of the things that life
has brought me is sent me to this place, this
home that I call us house. I call it us
house because when Jaed was little, even be like Mom,
(16:29):
can we just go to us house? And I used
to love that that he wanted to go home. So
home has become a place for you know, my friends,
um that are dealing with something. You know, I can't say.
I can't make no promises like they're gonna walk out
of here and feeling one better. But if I could
(16:50):
get thirty percent, you know what I mean, just to
remind them that life is worth living and that the
loss may never it doesn't go away, you will always
feel it. But if you do the best you can
to hold on to the good stuff, the fun stuff,
(17:13):
the things that learned you and grew you and um
made your dream, you know those things, and especially with
from that person like you can you can get through
this too. That's such a good thing about love is that,
especially when you're down, is how God will show you
(17:36):
a person. You won't even think that it's going to
come from that place, right, It'll just it'll be a
friend that you think it's busy, where you think it's
so and so or you know, and they love you
and everything. But that happened to me my mother passed.
(17:57):
I had a friend who called me and just soothed
me into a nap, And it was like the last
person that I would have thought, as much as we
love each other and care about each other, it wasn't like,
you know how sometimes you think it's gonna be this person,
it's gonna be that person. But in that instance, it
(18:20):
bonded us together permanently in a way that I bonded
with nobody else. Some people you just some people you
just connect with and you like them and you don't
even have a real good reason why, you just do.
And then years later, many many many years later, and
you have interactions and they felt good every time every
(18:42):
time we saw them. He had interaction. It was like
fun with you and you're going about your business, going
on on your life, and then next thing you know,
you're doing a podcast together. Oh yeah, but yeah, no, no,
that's that was a beautiful letter. You know, it's funnying.
I knew this would have been that when we did this,
that I would hear things from you all that would
(19:03):
inspire me further. And one thing that inspired me about
your letter was that you talked to your little girl's self.
Mm hmm. And I'm gonna take that with me. I'm
gonna take that with me. That's what That was a
good time. Wasn't it a good time? And that was
a good time. It wasn't it was a good time
(19:23):
for me. Like I told you I had, I was
having a tough day when I did this. I was
having a tough day and I was like, yeah, I
don't even know what you ever think so fast in
your mind you have a serieson of thoughts, and they
didn't It's not like each of those thoughts hang around
long enough for you to say, oh I thought this,
(19:44):
and I thought this, and I got here. But you
know that you all kind of happened to the secession
and you ended up in a place. That's how I
did my letter. It was like I was thinking about
love and I was thinking about myself and how I
would make myself feel better, and it was like boom,
bum bum and write a letter to yourself. Mm hmmm.
And that's that's that's how kind of got to that
(20:05):
moment from for me, I think that's the best day
to do it, when you're not having a good day,
when you're when you're just like ready to screw it
all girl. I think that's the best day to write
a lot. It might be because I tried to do
it on a good day and it made me sad,
so I didn't do it. Sorry. That's how that's it
(20:25):
had the opposite effect for me. I was having a
really good day until somebody said, where your life. I
was like, what, I'm being productive over here, getting ship done,
hood dress this ship. I don't even know if I
like myself most days, but go ahead, Asia inspired me,
motivate me, move me all right, here we go. That's
(20:48):
a lot. That's a tall. That was a tall. That's
a tall, little order. If I wouldn't have said it,
you would have did it anyway. It's just because of
the words that came out. Don't you feel like that?
I feel like that. Every time I aine about to
open her mouth, I get excited. Not as good as you. Sure,
actually it don't say it is, but I'm this is.
(21:10):
This is from my heart, from my court, my heart,
dear angel. I miss you. I mean I see you
every day, but I missed being alone with you, just
listening to music or eating food, just doing nothing or
laying quietly. I love how you think, even when you
(21:31):
bounce from subject to subject L O L. I love
that you like all kinds of art, and I love
your passion. You're so passionate. When you love something, you're
all in. I love that you can keep it cool,
to keep the peace in yourself with others. It makes
me sad, though that sometimes you feel so unworthy and
(21:52):
so unsure. I believe in you, though I want you
to take good care of yourself. I worry about you.
I love you, and I don't want to lose you.
I admit I should think of you more. I'll do better.
I get distracted easily, and I promised to prioritize you
from now on. I do love you. I do I
(22:15):
love you. I want to see you in always your
best girl, that my heart ditto. That's everything I was
gonna say, girl, turn me whole. I was beautiful, inspired, motivated,
moves sick. I mean, I think it's a good thing
(22:41):
for me. It's like, I don't know, maybe my mind
set and it wasn't like a set mindset. I'm just
trying to think back as to where my mind was
at the time. But I guess my mindset is just
kind of like what do I need to hear right now?
And I could really identify with being ab out to
cry because I did. I after I read mine, as
(23:03):
I read mine out loud to myself because I was,
let me read this now, I would loud to myself.
And when I read it out a lot to myself
the first time, I did cry because I did I
needed to hear those words at the time. I still
do like I needed to hear those words. And when
you said you was gonna read it to yourself every day,
read it to myself every day, you know, Because I
(23:27):
don't know, I feel like sometimes you know, And it's
funny because I tell people this and I feel like
sometimes and I don't have any resentment of my hot
behind this because I hear a lot of people talk
about it. I have been for a lot of years
some of my people's go to person, and I say
this to other people all the time. But as you
know how that is when you gotta turn things on yourself,
like you know, nobody's coming, like check for yourself, you know.
(23:54):
And it's like, it's not that other people don't love you.
I think a lot of times we're waiting, you know
what I'm saying, We're waiting on something to happen, and
we can really come and check for ourselves. And don't
wait to hear the things that you need to hear.
Don't don't wait on anyone else to say them, you know,
(24:14):
say them to you. You know what I mean? And
it's not And don't downplay yourself. Well I can't. It's me.
I can't say. Who are you? Who are you to
say that about you? Who are you not to say
loving things? Not to say loving things about you? You
were there the whole thing, the whole time. If you
(24:35):
were gonna say this to someone else, you would want
that person to take you seriously if they said to you, all, no,
you're just saying that because you are you would be like, no,
I'm saying that because it's the truth. You have the
ability to be truthful with yourself. It's a very songwriter
like assignment to y'all. I don't know if y'all realize this,
but you did it felt like y'all did that with
ease as well, because part of this is what you do.
(24:58):
So I think that it should not be gone without
saying that, like you know, and it's it may be
a little harder for some of us others that don't
time spend time with ourselves because it's required for our
craft to be better, you know what I'm saying. Yeah,
I think that's fast, definitely, but I submit that you
can do right. Tend Bread ever said that and I thought,
(25:20):
I was like, yeah, I would. Yeah, that's a good one.
That was a good way. That starts with a list, honey,
Amber beyond right, ten things that, um that you love
about yourself. Yeah, and it's okay, let's start with five
and make it easy. What did I say? I said, Um,
the truth is an ego. No, the truth is the truth.
(25:44):
You are allowed to love yourself. And I don't just
mean you're your bits and pieces, but you can love
your bits and pieces too. It's okay, it's all right,
have a love fest. And you are aware. See that's
the thing. You actually are aware. You're aware, you know,
you know it's good. Let it go out there. Look
(26:09):
that on that purple. Write it up. Make you change
the perspective because I shut myself like I usually sometimes
my father has a tendency to uh, I tease him.
He compliments himself before I can get to it, and
to a point where, like we we argue about it
quite frequently, like can I just let me say it before,
like you say the things and then you before you
(26:30):
even finish. It's like, yeah, I killed that, that was deep,
that was this, and and I go, Daddy, shouldn't and
you let somebody else tell you that though, because like
you say it to me, don't you want to wait
for me to tell you? And I almost feel bad
in this moment that I had these exchanges with him,
because no, my daddy is like, I ain't all wait
for nobody, Like I heard it, I said it. I
know it was profound, and who I'm waiting on? Oh?
(26:57):
I got to apologize to Ron and get y listen.
I apologize to my mother and the spirit realm on
a consistent basis. Susan, sorry, girl, I'm sorry. I'm sorry
because you had tried to told me you had tried
to say it. But you know, I mean that meant
(27:18):
you got a good person. Yeah, I happens we get older.
That happens more frequently than we definitely would like it to.
I think, Chuck, you said Asia, whether your parents what
you or not, We're gonna take a quick break and
then we'll be right back. Come on, list, Come on list,
(27:48):
I got, I got I love hard. I like that.
I like that. I was about to write something like
I love that as loud as I am. I am
as much a listener. True, that definitely, that's where I'm at.
(28:08):
I love my friends and my um. I can't do that.
I love my friend, Okay, I try. I can't talk much. Okay, Well,
you can love the tribe you chose your tasting friends.
I do love okay. I love my taste and friends.
I'm really good at that. I don't really Okay, So
(28:29):
what else youre talking about? Will she? I wish you
you know, this is one of the few times where
I wish you all could just see the little girl. Yes, yes,
that's why you you write yourself a love letter or
you write down things that you love about yourself, because
it just it doesn't feel like a hug. I want
(28:50):
to do a combo thing like you and Asia, like
I want to come from Asia's perspective, and then I
want to do jil like I want to do the
little girl thing. But then I liked it what Asia did.
The way she was like talking to herself like pep
herself and reminding herself. So yeah, that's why I said.
It's like and apologizing to herself and laughing at herself.
That was so lovely. Yeah, it was love. You just need,
(29:11):
like I need to hear somebody's to hear y'alls. I
was like, wait, so what we do ones that look like?
What does that sound like? We'll look at that. That's
exactly what we're here. I'm glad you were transparing hear it. Yeah,
we're letting you hear it so that you can do
your own I promise you'all. Love my little heart. I
can't believe it still works like it does, but I'm
so glad it does feel great. It does loving all
(29:35):
my parents, I got things. I guess I gotta do it.
Without bringing you gotta do it, but stop making other
people a part of it, like okay, okay, okay, I'm
trying to tell you I deeply appreciate your struggle with
this and I'm so glad you girl. You're a blessing
to these people who are listening, because it isn't as
(29:55):
easy as it looks. It's not as easy as it
And then, yeah, I don't think I made it look easy.
I think I was stuttering and all the things ya
y'all felt a little it was a little cool. But
let me tell y'all why y'all don't think y'all made
it look easy. What you don't because easy would be
(30:17):
too much of a simple word to apply to what
y'all both did. But y'all have a natural way with words,
and so it does appear. And I I know y'all,
but even to me who knows you, it does appear
that it's easier for it to flow out, for you
to express your feelings, to put word to feeling than
the average person. So yeah, it without offending you, because
(30:37):
I know it ain't easy for y'all, but it does
sound like it flows really pretty, like even when you're
crying and stuttering through it, which Jill, you didn't stutter.
Now It's okay. I why is that in my throat?
I was like, I'm feeling at my thought it comes
(30:58):
and this cause it's a side aim. It comes at
such a great time because I have so much on
my plate and so many things to look forward to
that easily, I know me, I can't get anxious. You know,
fear exists. I try to fight that mother sucker, but
(31:20):
nonetheless it exists, and I can feel overwhelmed, you know,
by all the things that are coming my way. And
I writing that reminded me of the little girl who
just did it because it felt good period, Because it
(31:42):
feels good period, like I feel such a release. Sometimes
you gotta get some permission to feel good, like thank
you for giving us permission. And I think, like I said,
as you were doing it, as much as I was
listening to you, I was thinking about, like, dang, what
did I what did I love about myself as a
little person, as a young person. I remember recently a
(32:03):
friend of mine was like, do you remember what you
said to me when we first met. I was like, child, no,
I don't remember, and you, like you was like, hey,
my name is Adria, and you should get to know
me because I'm gonna be famous one day. How old
were you do you remember? Like fifteen or sixteen? I
(32:24):
don't know, just being goofy, you know what I mean?
Like I was like it. The thing about it is
when you're young and that fear hasn't crush you or
try to crush you. Yet it happens earlier now if
you ask, it does. And I think I think I
(32:46):
love that about myself. I love that I was always
the first of my hand like I didn't care. I
was always the first kid to raise my hands. I
wanted to read out loud out, I wanted to take
on a challenge. I loved that about myself. My daughter
was having an issue with she's a drama major, and
she was having an issue with it with something she
(33:08):
was having to play. And I remember being twelve years
old and wanting so bad too. I was doing a
Shakespeare thing and wanting so bad to be Catherine from
the Taming of the True, but I couldn't because they
cast somebody else. So my teacher, who was brilliant at
the time, she said, well, you know, in Shakespeare's time,
(33:31):
women weren't allowed in the theater. She was like, so
all the men had to play the women's roles. She
was like, well, how about we just do that with
you and just flip it around and you could be Petruchio.
And I was like, and I was. I was petru
And he was like one of the only all black
troops in this thing that we came out to perform for.
(33:53):
And me and my best friend were Catherine and Petruchio.
And I was like the only black girl that had
done a gender been enrolling the whole thing. So it
was just like really cool, Like I love that. That
wasn't I wasn't fearful of that. I see some kids
twelve in the thirteen age group, you know, and they're
(34:14):
like forty five, forty two, twenty three. I mean that
fear gets strong as you get older. Yeah, you just
take the first person to shoot you down, and then
another one and another one and another one. Oh am,
I gonna get up that. The first fear, the first
real fear was was Mr Lovitt's in math. I know
(34:40):
I told you guys about him because I still talk
about him in therapy. Yeah, that man, he said, you
are so ugly. I don't know how anyone could bear
to look at it. You are so stupid you should
just face the wall. What. Oh, Mr I was in
(35:01):
the seventh grade. Why a teacher like that? Wow, it's amazing,
big fat Mr love it. He gave me a big fat,
juicy f wow. Because once my mom came to the
school and talked to him the next day, he was like,
(35:23):
so I'm mean to you. That's the way he reacted.
That's the way he reacted. No, No, he didn't get fired.
When you know teachers back when we was kids, they
got away with a lot, a lot. That's why I said.
That's why I apologized to y'all. When we were talking.
(35:44):
I don't know if we were talking to something Mitchell
or somebody, and I had a whole like regurgitation of Mr.
Tyson calling me a bumbling idiot and telling my friends
not to hang out with me. M And to this day,
Mr Typson he's still around. He ain't that old. And
some of my classmates go out to dinner with him
every year because that's my favorite teacher. And I'd be like, really,
I guess for y'all, ye parents have to come up
(36:09):
for that one. To Jim yea, I wish you would
have gave me an because remote bot out that, like,
let me tell you something. I took that F I
took it. My grade still still with all the rest
of the grazing on my report guard, I still had
a B average. So it didn't destroy you. So I
let the fuck go. But from that on, that moment on,
(36:34):
every time I got to a math class, I felt
like my heart with race and I would you know,
because I didn't know what this meant? Is this another
moment where because I was behind the math, I was
how was you in high school? And math struggled? Struggle
my ass off, I struggled. But you know again, you
know I was at girls high so school. You know
(36:57):
when I didn't pass math, I didn't get to walk
m M meant dad. And I attribute some of that
to my early education. And I contribute that to Mr
Lovitt because when I because I went to summer school
every year, every year, faithfully, and every year, I got
an a trauma. That's math trauma. That's what that is.
(37:17):
But you know, side note, a lot of girls and
also specifically and especially black girls, have a lot of
trauma around math. Me too, Joe I have a lot,
have a lot. I want to give a moment a little,
a little shout out to Grassroots Community Foundation and had
(37:39):
a program specifically addressing this that was spearheaded by one
of their young super girls, Amina, who came up with
a program to address this issue with young middle school
black girls. That's when it starts. That's interested. It definitely
starts a little school that is that's deep. I didn't
know that it was a trying. I didn't. I didn't
(38:00):
know that it is a real thing, it's a real being.
I want to also take this moment side note to
appreciate those teachers who are out here not inflicting trauma
on young people, because as you can see, this stays
with us. Right, I'm a shout out Brent Elementary School,
(38:21):
with which I know I've always I've done already on
this podcast before at some point I'm sure Brent Elementary School,
Roberty Brent, Washington, d C. Circa eighties. I would say
between eighty two and eighty seven for me, But I
just want to shout them out. Every single solitary teacher
from kindergarten to sixth grade was a black woman, including science,
(38:44):
including music, including Jim, including our school counselor and our principle.
Shout out to Dr Francis Plumber. Listen, Dr, I know
we was raised in d C, y'all, which I don't
understand what agents saying. This is really still a big deal.
And we wanted to the DC ist, the blacktiest black
(39:08):
that is black. He had. We had every single one
of my teachers and my gifted and talented teacher whose
idea it was for me to gender be in that role.
Msminton shout out. You know what I'm saying. These women
shaped and molded me as a person from kindergarten to
sixth grade. I was taught by a black woman, and
(39:28):
many of them had advanced degrees. And I think now
that I know what I know about how they hired
teachers and how principles are are responsible for this. Now
I know that this was intentional and this was done
by a black woman. Dr Plumber who hired these women
who no doubt many of them went to DC Teachers College.
So shout out to to to that school that later
(39:51):
one became U d C. So I just want y'all
to know, so thank thank you to our little people.
Thank you Missia Warren shout out. I want to shout
out Dana Miller, who happened to be um Jets math tutor.
(40:15):
And it was a rough go for a while, but
miss Dana has she's out of Philadelphia and I'm gonna
send you know, make sure I send you a link
um to where you can reach her if you're in
the Philadelphia area and you're you're struggling where your child
is struggling in math, because she has a way. There's
(40:35):
always a giggle, there's there's always um some level of
fun which I can't you know, like all fun math
fun fun math. There's fun math. Math is fun. Yeah.
I could hear my child laughing any other room and
I was like, wow, that's impressive. And slowly but steady
(41:00):
league his confidence grew MA and um, I just want
to let you guys know that there's somebody out there
who has a gentle way and extreme knowledge of mathematics
and it's definitely invested in getting your child or yourself
to another level. Man roots link in there too, because
(41:22):
they just a wealth of resources. And also too, when
I did homeschool with my my kids, y'all know, like
I said, math again, not my ministry either so oursourced
to Melanie Young, who is amazing also out of Philadelphia,
out of University of Pennsylvania, amazing black woman, works with
(41:45):
black family, all kinds of families, but um, she definitely
worked with my family and my kids and when they
had their homeschool graduation, she came to support them. So again,
this to me, that pouring of love into young people
and particularly you know, around things that we comment like
(42:05):
traumas that we share that it stays with us, the
love and the trauma. But we thank God for the
love because we're able to kind of talk about it
now and share that and and not repeat those same
cycles and paying attention to those things for our own kids.
But if you can't come home and tell you somebody
that says some wild ship, believe them because they don't
(42:28):
get saying wild things. Please, especially when it's coming from
a teacher. Baby, when your kid is saying that a teacher,
that was like, seriously, some of the many things I
and I did. I did. I faced the wall. It's
like it's under the rest of the year. But guess
what I did. I wrote the whole time, I wrote
(42:50):
the whole time. I wrote a little plays. I wrote stories,
I wrote poetry, I wrote, I wrote the whole time,
so that I just started looking forward to that little
part because I knew he wouldn't think about me at all.
He didn't. He never even said hello that I was
in a room. Nothing from that point on was my
mother came to the school. He never spoke to me again.
(43:12):
And I was happy because I didn't want I didn't
want no parts more conversation. After the break, you know,
(43:33):
I was reading, um, it's like a young person's book,
but it's a biography on Octavia Butler, and some years ago,
like her notebooks were discovered and people talked about how
she had manifested and written all of these things that
she wanted to become, being a bestseller, what money she
(43:56):
wanted to make, the impact she wanted to make, and
thinking of her as a little girl, and reading about
her as a little girl, you said, you know what
I did. I wrote everywhere she wents used to bring
a pink notebook, and she published her first story when
she was ten. But she got you know, rejected a
lot of times too, so like lots of rejection because
(44:19):
she was writing science fiction, and you know, people didn't
want to hear that from her. Um. But what's interesting
about her story was just you could see the little
girl part. So when you told me about when you were, like,
you know what I did. She was. She was lonely.
She was a bit of an eyeball, and two combat
the loneliness. She wrote. She wrote stories to entertain herself.
(44:42):
She would read stories and they would be trash, and
she would write a story because she would say, you know,
I think I could probably write a better story than
this trash of reading. And I love that. I love
that because it gets into Tony Morrison who said, hey,
if there's a book you haven't read yet, write it mhm.
And I just love that. I love the thought of
(45:02):
that it can turn out okay, that that that painful experience,
that thing that makes that's supposed to make you not
love yourself mm hmm. It doesn't have to be the
end of the story for you. You can you can
take that moment and shifted ship. I'm like, thirty years later,
I just realized my teacher that was calling me a
bumbling idiot didn't even acknowledge that I was two years
(45:24):
ahead of everybody in the school. How am I idiot?
I'm younger than everybody in my class, in my grade,
and you get paid now to give your opinion on
a wealth of different things. Yeah, you know, I don't
call me where girl was was on something and I
you know, I'm a big fan of her. And she
(45:45):
said something I'm paraphrasing. When somebody is jealous, there's something
that you can't even give them. It's not even like
it's a purse or a necklace. You can't even give
them what they're jealous of. It's something you know that's
innate to you. She said. She was like, when I
(46:06):
walk into a room by light of the room, you
you dark in the room. Bitch, what what can you?
What can you do about that? Nothing? But but you
can damn. Somebody's like, that's what they try. They can't
they try. I want to I want to take this
moment also to say I'm sorry that that happened. I'm
sorry that he did that. You didn't deserve that. You
(46:32):
He should never have been allowed to speak to you
that way. And even though those people still associate themselves
with him, and I know that that's painful again because
they were ended up working on Wall Street and being doctors,
it's like five Wall Street doctors, lawyers. You know, they're
gonna have dinner with him. I'm sorry. He didn't care
(46:53):
about any of that. He didn't care about that, that
wasn't your path at all. So he just completely miss
understood a student, misunderstood. He chose to misunderstand the student
he chose. He just he chose violence in a way
that was absolutely unnecess unnecessary, harmful, purposeful in all the
(47:18):
ways that a person can be harmful. It's like people
talking about language. Language can cut just as much as
any kind of physical violence. And you know, I really
I hate that that happened to you, and you didn't
deserve that. And I just want to tell you right now,
like you know, whatever you feel about it is valid.
(47:39):
I just I just say it once and I'm done.
I said it. Yeah, we're gonna punch this ass out
hout out, Like you said, it's far too many good
teachers and great teacher experiences to let him win in
that situation. And say what you're saying with Mr. Somebody
on here know where these teachers weren't good. Neither of
(48:01):
them won anything that part. They didn't win. They didn't
win at all. The worst way possible. You all blossom.
I'm talking about in their lives. I'm talking about an hour.
They didn't win at all, not even the slightest, Mr Levin,
do you even know? Do you even know? It's ugly?
(48:25):
Could never? Do you know what they say about me today?
You know what they say? Don't they sprints all to
which I caused? Honey, But a mere smile, minkle in
the eye, bitch down, Take the people down. All they
(48:48):
need to see is the smile that they know is me? Sir?
Do they know what you do? Does they want you? Good? Bye?
Mr Leat. I'm gonna try my best not to mention
him anymore, but it may come up. It may come
up that man to which we should I'll not name, yes,
(49:09):
which we shall not name, because we don't name them.
We name people to give power them. Yeah, shout out
the good one. But I like your thinking them. Take
a deep breath, letten, take a deep breath. Man in
this life right here? Y, it's a thing, is it not?
(49:32):
It's a thing. It is a thing. Oh, I'm so
grateful for age. Some people didn't make it. Yeah, yeah,
I know. It's funny. My boyfriend always gets mad because
I say it's been a long life, and he's like,
why do you act like it's about the end. I'm like, no,
I'm not acting like it's about the end. But you
gotta understand, like, these first four decades, it's been a
(49:53):
doing me. We'd have done some things. It's been a
whole story, a whole story's many chapters in this book.
Who many think about that? Listen, I don't know wherever
you are. I don't I don't know exactly what you're
doing except for listening to Jay dot Ilda podcasts, and
(50:16):
we really thank you for that. I would love to
share this poem about love. You ain't done that in
a while. Come on, Jim, we like it when you
do that. Man. This is This is written by Philadelphia
poet Laureat Ursula Rucker. She writes, on this day, there
(50:36):
will be no talk of war or politic or disaster
or death. Love is alive today, so we will speak
only of love. There will be only love on tom
and up and in heart and thought. And it won't
be that Hollywood type of love, not TV love, not
(50:58):
dime store novel love, and certainly not mainstream music love. Love, love,
you know love, love that has been worked on love
like gardens and term papers. Love that has been nurtured,
like children, and well like children. Love that falls, crashes,
(51:24):
even burns, but dusts off, fixes up and rises, rises
more brilliant than before. Phoenix love, Yeah, phoenix love. So
let us speak only of love, healing love, No herbal
or over the counsel, love, m real healing, love like God,
(51:46):
love like mother's love, lovers love, child's love, like best friend.
Love and change the world love, human love, humans love, love,
soft love, heart word, but just love, enjoyed the new garden.
Work on it together. Ursula Rucker. M m mmm mm hmmm,
(52:16):
she said, no herbal or, over the counter, lover real healing,
the combination of which cannot take the combination of her
words and your voice. It's too much. It was just
the words, the words. Fucking I love you, Ursula. We
love you, Ursula in the words words, the words. Some
(52:46):
people just have an understanding. M hm. And so we
thank God, thank God, and we send love to the artists,
to the poets, songwriters. Thank you all for the word makers, makers,
the painters, the sculptors, thank you, We thank you. The dancers.
(53:12):
Come on, all that evoke in of emotion the musicians listen.
Thank you all for teaching us how to love mm
hmm had the birds maybe that the actions, but you
knew how to say it. Yeah, we want, she said,
because some of them may live in we're talking about
(53:36):
the were talking about. We're talking about the art. Love
this show. Deep breaths. Take a moment and love yourself today. Okay,
take fifty moments, take a thousand bucket, going to love
(53:58):
yourself all day, all night. You're worth it and so deserving.
Thank you so much for listening to Jay dot Ilga podcast.
It is always our pleasure to have conversation that sparks conversation,
love and light, y'all, how do you eat an elephant?
(54:23):
One by it kind? Hello, dear listeners, it's Amber the
producer here. I love this episode. I just love and
we love ourselves, I really do. And we're finishing it
out with Layah's completed assignments. Hey y'all, it's Laia and yes,
(54:45):
I have reluctantly written my top five things that I
love about me and shout say everybody's in my tribe
that is challenged by this challenge. It ain't easy, but
we have to do it all right, So here we
go in no particular order. Number five, I am a
conscious work in progress. I love that about me. Number four.
I love that I try to consider all in most situations.
(55:09):
Number three. I love that I refused to give up,
but I am not opposed to giving in. You know
what I'm laying. Number two, I love that I am
open to most things and all kinds of adventures. Uh.
Number one, I love how hard I love, no matter
the outcome. And a bonus one for you and for me?
(55:30):
What really for me? Because this is about me. I
love the complexities of my tight walp okay and now
challenge y'all see it's not easy, all right, you do it? Love,
y'all see it the next show. Hi, you have comments
(56:00):
on something that we said in this episode called eight
six six. Hey, Jill, if you want to add to
this conversation, that's eight six six nine five four five five.
Don't forget to tell us your name and the episode
you're referring to. You might just hear your message on
a future episode. Thank you for listening to Jill Scott
(56:21):
presents Jay dot Ill. The podcast Ja dot Ill is
a production of I Heart Radio for More podcast from
I heart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app, Apple podcast,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
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