April 5, 2023 • 54 mins
In this episode Jill, Laiya, and Aja talk to Aja’s teenage daughter Lana to understand what it’s like to be a teenager in this day and time and how the need to be supported. Call 866-HEY-JILL and leave us a message with your comments on this episode!
Lana recommends we all watch “Who We Are” on Amazon Prime as homework. You can find the show at the link below.
https://www.amazon.com/Who-We-Are-Aviv-Cohen/dp/B07K8WDZPK
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Jay dot Il, a production of iHeartRadio. Hey everybody,
it's your girl, Aja Graydon downs Lur you know how
it is any who. I was asked to choose my
favorite episode, and it's no surprise. My favorite episode is
the one featuring my daughter, my daughter Lana, and it's
(00:25):
called Young Joining. The thing about it is that, you know,
having teenagers has been a big challenge for me. But
to be truthful, I enjoy young people a lot. I
learn a lot from young folks, and I think this
generation has so much sta can offer us, as all
of us did when we were young. But for me,
I really have tried to embrace all the things that
they have to give me. And my daughter is one
(00:46):
of those reasons, along with all of my children. But
this episode really just touched my heart and helped to
validate the reasons why I love giving young people a voice. Anyway,
I hope you guys enjoy it. This is my favor, y'all.
Give it a listen. Let me know what you think.
(01:07):
I don't know, good people. It is a pleasure to
be alive, Yo, It's a pleasure to be alive. Thank
you so much for listening. Taking some of your time
to listen to Jay dot Il the podcast. My name
is Joe Scott and I am here with my sister friends.
I lay like Saint Clair or whatever way you want
(01:27):
to say, Yes, I am here. You know I like
that like she don't know that. It don't matter as
long as you just saying whatever. Go ahead say Lia
Saint Clair. Okay, you know, with a with a period,
just so you know, just so you know, we're still
(01:49):
introducing ourselves, just because you know, we want jal exactly
where you are. You're a j dot L with Lia
Saint Clair and Joe Scott am agea great dans la.
Yes we like we like a three named baby, don't
we like her? We're into it. We're into it, y'all
are to a little hyphenatu sitch speaking of the babies
(02:12):
and not not exactly babies. I went to see a
concert the other night, y'all, and I went to see
Steve Lacy with my kid. Right now, Jet brought Steve
Lacy to my attention in the first place, and I
got this this overwhelming sense. I got some Prince vibes
in there. I was like, okay, you know, I enjoyed
(02:32):
the music much. I thought the lyrics were very thoughtful.
I was like, okay, you know, said dug in some
more and I was like, oh right, you know, happy
to see it, Like we're sincerely happy to see whenever.
You know, the young people not only are they like
they're vibing, but they're also like musically, you know, like
it's a super talent, you know, like yeah for super talents,
(02:56):
Like okay, that's what's up. And then there before him,
his opening app was this young girl. Um. I keep
saying young girl. She's probably like twenty something. I don't know, um,
but her name is Fuchet and she does music. Come on. Yes,
the whole esthetic, you know, that was really working. It
(03:16):
was such like a homage to the Hirie carrew um
I want to say correctly, the like Japanese anime. Oh okay,
so you know this Afro pump babies, that's an Afro
punk baby and for show, it was just really good
to see that kind of energy, you know, And I
(03:40):
was like, I like, I like this, I like being
around this. This is such a beautiful thing. Um. And oftentimes,
you know, we end up spending time with people around
our own age, which could definitely beat to our detriment.
Oh yes, yeah, y'all know how I have all I
have like an under lining irritation with my generation, like
(04:03):
anyone who listens to this podcast though, like, but we
irk me? Come on, come on, what is it? The irks? Uh?
We irked me because I feel like for us, we're
the We're the generation who grabbed the pearls, yanked them off,
(04:25):
and threw them into the gutter, only to crawl around
on the ground looking for each individual pearl, string them
back together, put them on our necks just so we
can clutch them. Oh Dan, you have to read us
like that. I feel that, and that that annoys me, Like,
(04:47):
y'all can't possibly be the face down, butt up generation
clutching pearls. Y'all have here clutching pearls. That is so
tru I would telling. Let me telling these old ladies. Yes,
you're such an old lady, now you know. Now I
think I'm an old lady now, Oh well, at least
(05:09):
you you know. Well, listen, old ladies not bad. It's
just made you old. Someone said this to me the
other day. But like, if you don't get old, that
means you die young. So be grateful. I mean that part.
But it's just the continuing, the opening the chasm of
the mind. What happened? You dig down deep and you know,
(05:30):
you decide that this is the way everything should be.
And because we grew up, this is her supposed to
look at her. Fight it. I don't know how it's
supposed to feel and how it's supposed to but that's
not tried it. You gotta fight that. It becoming You're like,
oh no, no, get abody, get out of here. No no,
open your mind. Stop stop, it's closing. It's clothing, open back,
open open it, open it because anything. Y'all. Don't watch y'all,
(05:52):
don't watch Game of Thrones. Y'all, don't don't you don't
like hold the door, Hold hold, hold door, Hold the door,
and the door open for a bird, the new fresh
you know, the cool wind and the new the new vibes,
(06:13):
the interesting people with these thoughts that as a man
that continuously will blow your mind if you let him
in the door, hold the door. Oh yes, old door,
old door. So so check this out. We have the
privilege and the pleasure of talking to Lana Danzler. Hi, yeah, yeah,
(06:40):
II listen this this little fresh faced this beauty. Good
to see you again. It's nice to see you. It's
nice to see you as well. You guys had a
very nice introduction into the conversation, so I didn't want
to interrupt, but um, it was it was actually interesting
to hear you guys say what you were saying, because
(07:01):
the other day it was actually in the car of
my dad and I've been telling him for a while
that I just wanted to take a drive with him
and listen to some of the music that I like
and just show it to him and like see what
he thought. And when we were in the car, I
showed him like some of the newer rappers that are
out right now, and you know, like we were joking around.
He was pretending like he liked it for a little bit,
(07:22):
but then hegan again told me he was kind of
like young people kind of operate on a different frequency,
I guess, and it's like, and not that it's a
bad frequency, but it's so much faster than what he's
used to. Now. He's just more on a slow taste
of journey as he gets older, so we like smoother music.
But when he was younger, he tells me, it was
(07:43):
kind of that same high frequency stuff. We like now.
We like to jump around, we like to move so much.
And you know, it's interesting. It's kind of like every
generation is like that. It's like every older generation has
always hated on the new generally. But he told me
it's like less of a hate. He feels like it
maybe more of a just misunderstanding. It's like a frequent
(08:07):
back to the frequency kind of um analogy. It's almost
like it's too loud for them. It's just like, why
would you just be quieter? Like how I am right
now more? She used there, And I think that was
that was very telling to me, because again, I feel
like it's easy to get into, oh my parents don't
understand me, or this is you know, like they're hating
(08:27):
on me. This is just life I like to live.
But it's just like they did. They were saying that
same argument a bunch of years ago. Yes, this the
other day, me and my mom were talking about something
that I wanted to wear and she kind of had
a problem with but she was just like, you know,
I've been through the same argument a million times my mother,
and I was like, WHOA, If you've been through it,
(08:48):
why can't I do it? This is that. But it's
just like it's just it's like a slower frequency. I
guess what did she say when you asked to that?
I'm so curious. I'm like, so what was what's the answer?
What is the answer if you've been through? She wore it? Okay,
Well it's it's an age old thing. It's anybody that's confused.
(09:09):
Lana is Agia and fifteen. Uh they're they're fifteen year
old daughter. Yes, so you're clear. Yes, we got to
do the echo fully. I know you got to rolland
that's because you know that's my baby. Yeah, the conversation listen,
So are we talking now, let's go. As soon as
I heard my name, I was like, oh yeah, so
(09:31):
the door has been open. So I'm na. Yeah. I
think I think it's interesting because like my my teenager.
So I have twins who are almost fifteen and December
home girl. But but Jill Scott just said I'm fifteen.
Thought I was correcting a lot of change. You know what,
(09:59):
se right ahead, I'm gonna go ahead. I'm go ahead.
Let that one slave get ready world more real talk
after the break. So, yeah, I have fifteen year old
(10:23):
twins almost fifteen year old twins, and then of course
my eighteen year old just went away to college. And
so now in the household we have we only have
two official teenagers and then DNAs twelve, so he'll be
thirteen in February. But yeah, so now we're experiencing the
life of teenagers for the second time. So we have
(10:46):
older kids who are twenty three, twenty and eighteen, and
they're all outside of the well moved on with their lives,
and so at this point now we're experiencing like a
new group of teens, and so it's kind of interesting
to kind of get into what's important to them and
how they feel. Yesterday we had a conversation about about safety.
(11:09):
And I posted about this a while back, just about
what makes young people feel safe, and Lana had a
discussion in class about it, and so you know, I
really would like her to chime in about that in particular,
because I think, really the conversation with young people has
to start with safety. How do they feel safe enough
(11:32):
to be in conversation and relationship with us, not just
as parents, but just as elders in the community. Period.
Oh yes, please, please and thank you. So I have
this class freshman seminar, and basically, when I go to
senior year, I'm gonna have to write a very long
paper called a senior excent. You guys want to know
about it to graduate. But this class freshman seminar is
(11:54):
to prepare me for that. So they have plant little
seeds of writing and finding arguments or specific pomps and
pacific topics to help you with later on when you
have to do that big assignment, to just kind of
seat it into your brain a little bit. So we
were arguing about whether when I argue, well, debating about
whether kids getting out of school later would be safer
(12:15):
for them on the way home, and it kind of
despiraled this tangent about feeling safe in Philadelphia in general,
which the black kids in my class kind of overtook,
which just a little side you know about that. I
go to Kappa, which is Creative Performing Ours High school
in Philadelphia, and there are a lot of perceptions about
the diversity at that school. But I would say it's
(12:38):
very predominantly black. So there is not a single classroom
without at least or at least ten black students. It's
a very black But a lot of people don't know
that but Kappa's very black, and we just kind of
got into this large conversation about how it feels to
be safe in Philadelphia or not safe more or so.
(13:00):
And it was kind of going back and forth because
there are a lot of black women in my class,
and I consider myself particularly very educated on racial issues,
but there's a lot of also black men in my class,
and the topic of intersectionality was not being really focused
on when we were having this discussion. And there was
a very big thing where this girl was talking about
(13:23):
how she felt unsafe due to being kind of cat called,
and you know, once she takes the bus and to
train the subway. And then there's this one kid in
my class who's a black male. He goes, well, black
men get murdered every day, and the statistics show that
there's been more violence towards the black men since the
beginning of time, and that really set me off, Like,
(13:45):
first of all, what statistics statistics that you get this
second of all, it just I just think, like like
debate rule one on one, or even like respectable rule
one on one, when someone who's marginal lives or especially
more oppressed than you was talking about something, they're going
(14:06):
through if you'll start your sentence with but and then
something else, it's very big red flag, and it's very ignorant,
and it's like a kind of ding ding ding. You're uneducated,
like light in my head. And I also, though, feel
like when black people are talking about our experiences, I
don't think it's right to rob them of that Black
(14:27):
year wrong or this year that. But I do think
it's we should take the time to educate them, because again,
I feel like sometimes we can't always articulate how we're
feeling in a way that makes sense. So again, when
I was in that class and a lot of my
classrooms are talking about their experience and we have an
opportunity to educate a lot of the white kids in
the room, there was some language that I felt was
(14:48):
not being articulated correctly, and I didn't want to misinform
the classroom in such an important moment. So I took
it a palm myself, and I joined the conversation late,
but I took it a palm myself to try and
get those thoughts out in a way that made sense
for someone who doesn't have the black experience. But that
was what I went through the other day that my
(15:09):
mom was talking about. And I feel like being safe
in Philadelphia and being and safe as a minor is
very much in her type of situation. I really feel like,
I'm like, we have so much stuff about what you
can do to be safe, what you can do, But
even then, you could do all of these things. You
could stay in the house your entire life. You could
(15:29):
still be a victim of attack. I mean, Brianna Taylor
was in her own home, she was in her own home.
She just still die from violence. It's like, what is
it that you can do? And I don't mean that
as the depressing thing, but even I said this at
the beginning of my rant in the classroom, I was like,
all of the black people that are here and are
alive in America today are all here by chance. You
could have been the most well behaved slave in the world,
(15:51):
but an oversee her in a bad mood could have
ended your entire bloodline just because they wanted to, because
they were having a bad day. So my point is
that we can do all of these things to try
and assimilate, try to be safe, or we could dress
a certain way, we cannot take public transportation, we could
avoid bad streets. We could do this, we could do that.
And even then being black in America and being black
(16:13):
in Philadelphia, being black in the city, it's still it
doesn't guarantee you safety, right. What was the response? What
did everybody say? Want you well? Again? The very early
in freshman year, so it kind of was like a
silence in the classroom for a while, I'm sure. And
(16:36):
my teacher, mister Rasher, he's a white man, and not
only does he teach freshman seminar, but he also teaches
African American studies at KAPPA, and he does seem to
be very self aware about the fact that that's slightly weird.
But he did tell me that he appreciated that I
brought up the intersectionality in this topic because it hadn't
(16:57):
really been addressed, and he liked the way that I
worded it. But it did kind of leave a silence
over the room. I think it also took was a
lot to take in. Again, but that was the kind
of the response to the room. I didn't get any
bad responses. Even the black boy that had made the
comment about will black men get killed every day? He
(17:17):
was very silent and just like taking in the information
that I said, he didn't have an attitude or make
a face, because again, I was trying to educate the classroom.
I wasn't trying to be rude or anything. Again, ignorance
in the black community about black issues is still very prevalent.
Like you'd be surprised about how many people don't know
about their own culture and know about the real reason
(17:38):
these things are the way that they are, the reason
why we live in the hood and they live in
the suburbs, the reason that this, this is that. And
that's again why I felt like I needed to articulate
some of the things that weren't you know, because not
all of us have access to the information as to
why those things are the way that they are. A
lot of us, yeah, yeah, are you people are really
(18:00):
thinking in broad strokes broader than ever before if you
ask me, And I say that because I think are
wal Miles and my generation was probably think about it
this way, just going back a couple of generations. My
grandmother was born in nineteen seventeen. So the odds of
(18:22):
walking down the road and seeing somebody humes high you
feel me, the odds of your father leaving, I mean,
we still have these things. So that's the crazy part,
leaving and not ever coming back because he's been captured
and you know, mutilated is a real, very very real thing.
(18:45):
She was around before they were really couldn't vote, right,
cars were kind of they were new or didn't have
one of those that clearly didn't have one of those.
My great grandparents were sharecroppers. Yeah, and just to say
that my great grandparents were share croppers. All right, so
(19:05):
we're talking about my mother. You know, my mother's were
nineteen forty seven, I believe, and she couldn't sit on
the front of the bus. Then we have this generation,
our generation, your parents on Lana, and we were pretty
much able to do everything that we wanted to do,
you know, if we wanted to go to college, if
we wanted to wear pants. Because in the seventies, you know,
(19:30):
we've got this natural hair and these vibes, and you know,
everybody's standing up and discovering their blackness. And then you've
got us, and now we've got you, and you all
are more free than anything that I've ever seen. I
think that there may be a slight sense of jealousy,
(19:51):
you know, that may be some resentment in there because
you all not all. You're able to own your sexuality.
I admit to that. Yeah, you're able to start a
business at a young age and be profitable from it.
You're able to literally do anything. Your outlook is so
(20:13):
far we haven't even seen you know how far you
walk and go and how quickly you can do it.
We have this mentality that you have to learn from
the ground up. You have to and and these things
are still good. I think it's still solid to learn
something from the ground up. But you all, I don't
know if it's if it's osmosis, like what's going on
(20:35):
the side. Don't don't forget about the flip side, Jill though,
tell me tell them. I let Lana tell us. As
you were talking, I was just but we didn't have
like shooting drills. We had fire drills. We didn't have
shooting drills. That wasn't a thing. School shootings wasn't a
popular thing that happened multiple times to where you were
like de escalate like and even the thing with what's
(20:57):
going on with policing and and black Post seems like
more than ever. Because we didn't have the visuals, we
didn't have video like we have today, and so I'm curious.
I'm gonna let line of talk about speak like in
terms of, like what are the challenges, like so we
from our advantage point, we can see the advantages that
you have. But like if you had an opportunity to
speak out, because like at this point there's hella adults
(21:17):
listening to this, so like if they needed you wanted
them to know some of like particular challenges that they
should be keyed into, and not to make you speak
for all young people, speak for yourself, specifically yourself. I
think one of the big things. It's just like I
think this generation the internet has really been a huge
part of making everything kind of more I just think
(21:38):
like seeing what people are going through. I think first
the internet was you saw the struggle and then finding
literally watching the progression of people learning to deal with
their struggle and being like I relate to that too.
I think that's the reason why so many people have
learned to be more open, because there's people whose entires,
lives and the entire journeys are documented. Like there are
(21:59):
people that I've followed on TikTok that discovered that they
were trans and I followed their journey before they even
knew that. So it's like you watch the progression of
people's journeys in their lives, and then there's other viewers
that are like, I relate to that people's mental health issues.
This is that. I feel like that's how it's become
more normalized in our society, because you are able to
(22:20):
look into somebody else's eyes, into somebody else's life, and
you can say I can relate to that. And I
feel like before that, it's so easy for people to
feel isolated in their environments. I feel like now it's
more you see everybody like you, and and there are
the downsides of that too. I feel like, again, some
people play to other people's emotions and try and gain
(22:42):
that relatability so they can try and force them into
a type of lifestyle. You know, there's this kind of, uh,
this joke on the internet, this thing called the manosphere
or whatever. I don't know if you guys have ever
heard of it. It's like those, yeah, those little motivational
videos for men that start by applying to their insecurities
and then they start saying this is how you fix it,
(23:03):
and instead of actually being productive, it's just misogynistic viewpoints
are telling them you can get women by being very
disrespectful to women, and this is how you make money,
this is how you like And there's even stuff like
that exists like that for women as well, like where
they try and apply to women's insecurities and then they
tell them, well, this is how you get skinny, this
is how you do this, this is how you do that.
(23:24):
Instead of those productive things that have existed to help
people with their journeys, there are also things that exist
that are just there to help benefit someone in specifics,
not the viewers, not their supporters. It's just there to
basically take advantage. So I think those are one things
you have to look out for on the internet is
(23:46):
who is a productive influence to follow on who's not.
And that's actually something I'm learning about. In Jim, they
were trying to teach us the difference between a life
influencer and a regular influencer. And it's like someone who
flexes their lifestyle onto you and makes themselves feel unachievable
unless you follow these inappropriate steps or these steps that
(24:07):
aren't really going to get you there. Or a life
influencer someone who tells you your life can be better,
but you can make it good the way it is now,
or these are little things you can do for yourself,
or you're going through this. I'm going through this. This
is how we can be better. Da. It's like, I
just feel like or people that just healthily show you
(24:28):
their lives that just like you know those people that
vlog every day, or those you know, motivational people on
the internet, people that just kind of give you a
healthy insight into their life, and even if they don't
show you everything. Because I think the whole saying social
media is fake, da da da da da, I think
social media being fake can be a good thing sometimes,
(24:49):
Like I feel like, if you're a family YouTuber or whatever,
families have struggles, But do you need to put that
on your YouTube channel? No, because some people might watch
that to feel better about themselves. Some people might watch
it be like I didn't have a good relationship with
my family, but it's nice to see these children grow
and this family blossom together, even if they might have
(25:09):
issues offscreen. I feel like sometimes having a curated image
like that is okay. And I feel like people are
so obsessed with authenticity it's kind of a bad thing,
Like things like the shade rum, stuff like that we're
constantly seeing these toxic couples and these problematic is that
I don't think it's good for people, and I don't
(25:31):
think it's good this access people have to people's lives
so much now that they feel entitled to their lives
and entitled to opinions about these people that they don't
even know. That's why I feel like, sometimes curation is good.
Sometimes it's better if you only see this person's picture
when it's a paparazzi photo of them leaving somewhere, not
a paparazzi photo of them being intimate with someone or
(25:53):
something like that. I just feel like this like access
or like just straight up entitlement. Maybe, and I hate
to cut you off, but maybe there's a thing with
us where we have to understand that the thing that
makes y'all different is this is this experience with social
media and the internet, and that that experience cannot be
(26:18):
defined so rigidly as good or bad. That's what I'm saying. Yeah,
what I'm hearing from you is that it's a layered
and complex experience that we need to be aware of.
That there is such a thing as a life influencer,
as opposed to a regular influencer. I've never even heard
that before. Men. That's the crazy part. Y'all learn that
(26:40):
in school, and grown ups don't even they don't know
how to regulate their social media like that, right, So
how can they even begin to talk to you about
it when they don't even know that? That's my mind
was blown when you said that, like and also and
also trying to audit myself mentally, like, yeah, which which one?
Are you right? Because clearly not everything thing is bad? Right? Right? Everything?
(27:03):
You know? I think that the people in my age
bracket and above, you know, we're kind we're a little
bit in shock, overwhelmed. We're a little bit overwhelmed. It's
it's a lot both. Oh my god, Like the internet
came when we were in high school, friends, like it happens,
(27:23):
things started happening from there. It was like the beeper,
the cell phone to pet and it was just like
and then we still gotta keep up with y'all too,
and oh my goodness, it's like it's it's so I
just stuff here. I mean for staying in your lane,
I mean I'm here for it, for being this this adult,
(27:45):
this the adult that you are right now. I'm here
for you doing that, but I'm also here for you
to to expand your mind and be able to relate
to the youth because you know, I believe the children
are in future. They are you know, So it's not
that deep. You have to open up. We're gonna take
(28:06):
a quick break and then we'll be right back. Lana,
you mentioned sexuality. Um, we've like when I grew up.
I'll say that when I grew up that that homosexual
(28:28):
men were in an area of the city where I
grew up in Philly. They were in one area and
if that's what you wanted to see or hang around,
or that's what you wanted to experience, then that's where
you went. Now people are finally able to be all
(28:49):
of themselves everywhere they go and nobody has to live
in a closet anymore. Do you do? You grasp? How
what a what a gigantic big deal that is? It's
so weird. It's so weird sometimes I think about it.
Two Sometimes I asked my mom, like, you really didn't
(29:10):
have like a phone with a screen on it, Like,
how is it like now? You just used to Now
you got this tap smartphone. I was like, you know, it,
but you used to have them buttons. I'm like, girl,
we had a rotary our generation keeping up all day.
She's so right. I didn't even think about it like that.
She's so right. Yeah, you get so used to it
(29:30):
because it's like you get so accustomed to it and
so fast. I feel like, maybe just me, I feel
like it. You get so fastly, Like I like, there
be four year olds that know how to work the iPad.
I remember the end of the day my little cousin
was here and it was like the other day. It
was a long time ago. He was about three, and
he has YouTube up and he tells me he wants
(29:52):
to watch the Spider Man video. And I'm thinking he's three,
let me look it up for him. He's like no,
he typed Spider Man into YouTube bar and searches it out.
I'm like, you, let me know. I've seen nine month
olds been able to scroll through things, you know, and
find like the like the parents had a series of
(30:13):
films or movies or whatever in there in the little
iPad and baby just just went and found what they wanted.
You can't even read. You can touch Spider Man into
you too. That's a lot of like I just wonder
what I can't wait you'll become grown ups. I'm like,
what does that look like when knowledge starts from that point?
And also here's a question too, Lona, what's the chill
(30:35):
looked like? Because I was thinking about that as you
was giving us your reenactment of what happened in class
that day and all of that knowledge and well rediness
that you have, I was like, what is the chill?
What is the like? Yeah? How how do you how
do you kind of manage yeah, knowing these things like
where where is the where's the kid? Yeah? The kid
(30:59):
like likeness? We tackle that other question, okay, because because
it's a it's a whole new world. Did you hear
what jail I asked you? Yeah, about like, um, people
having so many sexual identity Yeah, I feel like, uh,
(31:20):
and this is just might be one thing that I noticed.
But sometimes I feel like people make it seem like
it's a lot, a lot more overwhelming than it is.
For example, Uh, there's this thing on the internet called
neo pronouns. We're not on the internet, but some people
really it's just like where people's pronouns aren't she heard?
They they're like, uh, something like some people would like
to be called like different like objects as they're pronouns,
(31:43):
and I don't never entirely understand it. But I've never
met a person that used that. But there's such this,
there's this big discourse on the internet or whether this
is something people should do or this is stupid, this
is this is a but still never even met anyone
that uses those pronouns. It's almost like people want it
to be, Oh, you don't know what anybody is these days,
(32:05):
but it's like some of these people have never even
met a non binary person. You just want to be
overwhelmed by these things. You feel like it's all around
you when it really isn't. Again, there are so much
more openness in society today, but there are also some
people in this world that still kind of live in
a bit of a pocket. And I feel like, as
(32:27):
a society, we need to stop pretending like it's like
changing our way of life. I guess I feel like
we should never really assume what someone goes by. Again.
When I was a kid, you don't know, I had short,
foresty hair, I would be misgendered a lot, and I
was born a girl. So it's like, is that right though?
(32:51):
But when someone tells you don't assume people's gender, you're
automatically thinking, oh, this changes my way of life. I
don't approve of this. I don't approve of that. But
I was born a girl and you miss gendered me.
So it's almost like, why don't we just use these
neutral words for people? Why is that so hard? Because
it could offend the same people. You say you're tired
of the girls with day weaves, and they this, and
they that I presented myself as naturally and you still
(33:14):
disrespected me. And I was and I'm not a part
of any community that you're so called don't approve of.
So I don't get it. You know what I'm trying
to say, You know, yes, yes, people try so hard
to make this is this is someone's own fault. This
is changing my lifestyle, when really your lifestyle just wasn't productive.
It just wasn't It never worked, it wasn't cool, it
(33:37):
never worked, and you know it never worked, and you
know it never worked. You know it was never helping anybody.
And I like that we live in the world that's open,
but I feel like it could be a lot more opener,
and I feel like it I feel like people want
to be overwhelmed. Sometimes people want something to be mad at.
We need something to be mad at as a society,
because we need to direct our anger towards something that's
(33:57):
not the big issues. So we can follow our pill
and we can, you know, make it seem like everything's okay.
We're like, yeah, the reason everything sucks, it's because the
pink sauce lady. That's why mine. No, she might be bad,
but she didn't make all these things. Unfortunately, Lady is
not the root of all of our issues. Fifteen. Okay,
(34:23):
is this it's a fair question. Do you feel a
need or desire to be around us? You mean like adults. Yeah,
let's just let's just say that that your mother's friends
are pretty much like her. You know, they're they're interesting
and knowledgeable. You know, they're they're cool in their own way,
(34:47):
you know, living life and learning as they go, like
the like most people with good sense. I think you
know you're learning. You stumbled and you get back up
and you're like, oh, you know what I mean? Um,
because you have I have so much information. You have
this this. I don't know if I could call it clarity.
(35:09):
I don't know if that's exactly what I'm looking for,
but the insight to expand and grow on a daily
basis because you've got so many tools to do it.
Do you feel like you you still enjoy us or
need us in any way other than financially taking care
of you? I ask, but actually, you know what I'm saying,
(35:34):
do you help me without my cash app? I'm going
to ask you to speak as much as you can
for young people around your age, like, do y'all y'all
f with us. I feel like some of us are
at a point where it's like it's been a very
big thing. It's like I won't respect my elders and
let's I get respect back. And this is that. I
(35:56):
think that's a very progressive place to be in. But
I feel like we need family. Feel like people that
cut all ties they end up kind of missing it.
And I don't feel like I get disrespected in my family,
just like as an example, I know there's some people
that kind of move on that wavelength or even I like,
if they have like political disagreements with their family, they're
(36:18):
just like, no, I'm done, And I completely understand that.
And to speak for my whole generation, I just would
have to address that act of it because there are
some people that genuinely, do you know, perceive their family
members as like or even the older people in their
life is just kind of like, I don't respect your
opinion and you don't respect my opinion. So that's kind
(36:39):
of the end of our relationship. Besides, you know, the
cash aft, like my mom said, but I think there
is like I feel like, as young people again, we
still kind of are bits stuck in our ways a
bit about what's immature, Like, oh, I can't say my
mom's my best friend, but there are a lot of
us that are just like I love my mom's my
best friend. I love to have conversation. I love having
(37:01):
conversations with older black ladies. My mom knows this. I know.
When you guys ask that question, she was just like,
that's my happy place. Big. I just I am completely
I need that insight because again, you guys ask like,
what kind of keeps me grounded in a bit? And
I do like having friends that aren't really as interested
in these topics, just because it kind of helps take
(37:23):
my mind off of it because it's a lot and
you can kind of find the real reason why this
is that and this is that like you're gonna get
caught up and all that stuff sometimes just living your life.
But it's easy to just ta those people. You can
just kind of turn off that side of your brain
and you can just kind of enjoy that child like perspective.
But then it's nice to have conversations like this with
a bunch of educated, beautiful, intelligent women, and it's like
(37:45):
it feels like you're more so heard and you can relate.
You know, It's like I could talk about my favorite
show with my friends, and then I could talk about,
you know, Redlining with you guys, and I could talk
about like I wanted to talk about your favorite what
you mean red Line? And I ain't always go so deep.
Well know, me and my mom actually do watch a
(38:05):
lot of the same shows, by the way, And I've
been trying to get her to watch The Sandman on
Netflix recently and she won't watch it. And I know
you're a grandma, now, I know you got business, but
you when revere caa snuggle up and watch that show. Mom.
First of all, I did watch Umbrella. You put me
onto Umbrella Academy is season three so bad? No season
three so no season three, but I mean one and
(38:28):
two is good. They changed stuff up, and it's weird
they switched it up. But but I'm just saying you
put it so. I'm glad you brought up a show
because my son and I got a chance to watch
You Fouria together. And I don't know if you all
watched You Fouria. Have you watched that at all? I
know you watch it. Okay, it's safe space. It's a
safe space. She can't do nothing. Let me just well,
(38:49):
first answer, did you watch it? Na, I've I've seen
some of it. It's the episode of too long for
me to actually watch all of it, but I've seen
some of it. Can't That's a thing like, Okay, I've
noticed that your generation also wants things kind of quick.
You don't really want to long form any just pace storytelling.
(39:10):
I don't know if it's really my thing. I don't
like all the moves, and I feel like it's kind
of lazy. I don't know it's a controversial to say.
I feel like it's a little It's just like everybody's
allowed to have an opinion. I will say this to
the listeners. Um, if you haven't watched Euphoria, there's a
(39:33):
real reason why they're winning all these awards, and it's
not just because Zendea is beautiful, Like she's exceptionally talented,
and so is that cast and the stories that they're telling.
When I watched it, I was like, Oh, I don't
really have to answer a lot of questions because a
lot of the answers are in euphoria. When we're talking
(39:54):
about accountability, when we're talking about sex, drugs, when we're
talking about sexuality, when we're talking when we're talking about living,
a lot of the experiences are in euphoria, recovery. Uh,
the list of relationship with parents, relationship. Yeah, I'm not
saying this to be a hater, because again, I actually
(40:16):
I have what I've seen in the second season. I
actually really like it's a lot more slow paced. I
just don't don't like. I kind of feel like, if
you can't keep it in one place and keep the
audience's attention, I think it's it might be overwhelming. And
that's kind of how it is for me on like
multiple storylines like that. I don't like multiple storylines and
when it waves together kind of that's why I kind
(40:36):
of like the end of the season. The first season
a little bit, but again I'm not sure how all
of it ends. The first season is a little fast
paced for me, but I like what I've seen my
second I might go back and watch it, but I
think that again, not because again I don't want to
be like the one person that doesn't like the show.
I do, like, what do you think in terms of
like media, Like I think, uh, from a parental standpoint,
(40:57):
it's always hard to kind of I think, lock into
media or that that that expresses or feels like it's
speaking for young people. It feels like as soon as
we lock into something, y'all have moved on. Or we'll
lock into something and we'll think, oh, this is groundbreaking,
and y'all are like, yeah, whatever, we don't even talk
like that. And I remember being a young person and
(41:20):
having that, you know, like our parents thinking that hip
hop was like the Rice Crispi's commercial when Snap Cracker
and Pop was rapping. They're like, yeah, that, I like that,
that that jingle is nice. If that all the rap
music sounded like that, I would love it. And we
were like, no, that's that's that's not how that sounds. So,
(41:41):
you know, is there any like media that you really think, like, Okay,
this is on the post of kind of what young
people are feeling and they're connecting with I would say, again,
are there are a lot of themes in You for
You that I think are really really good for parents
to watch, even but I don't want them to think
that all of the children are living that life. I
feel like some parent might watch You for You and
(42:02):
come back thinking my child's a drug addict or something
like that, like, no, you used to be careful, don't
don't make the wrong assumptions. But just like kind of
just the life they're living in, kind of the emotions
they're feeling, is very beautifully portrayed in that show, especially
with Sindea, Like again, like she's very talented to re
iterate what's already been said. But again, the show that
(42:23):
I watched on Amazon Prime called We Are Who We Are,
it's really nice to me. The emotion of the show,
it's very it's not it's um it's not too explicit
on the themes. It lets you kind of think of
it for yourself, but the way the characters behave seems
very normal to me, and um, their emotions just seem
very normal to me, and again, it's kind of, uh,
(42:45):
it's less this. Yeah, I liked the show. I liked
the show. I thought it was very interesting. You get
very invested into it, and it's much more slow pace,
I would say, um, and I feel like if Euphoria
is kind of too fast for you, then maybe you
might like that show. But they tackle some different themes,
and they also tackle something that isn't really that prevalent
(43:08):
in Euphoria, which is there's a character with mental illness
that's not like Ruse. It's more so like I think
he might struggle with I don't want to make a guess,
but it's different than what she goes through. But it's
kind of behaviors and stuff. It's an interesting watch, I
would say, And now all the episodes are I don't
(43:29):
think they're having a season too. But it also deals
with a black female main character that trying to transition
into a trans man, which is kind of similar to
some of the themes that are in Euphoria, but with
yeah the opposite. Yeah, I love a good TV wreck.
More conversation after the break, you were talking about being
(44:01):
in the car with your dad and you wanted him
listen to some of the music I was just curious
what you were playing for your dad. Oh, this is
not music I particularly listen to. But my dad's very
interested in djaying and stuff, and I be trying to
put him onto stuff that commun kids my age or
listening to, or at least something that like if he
put it on, they'd be like, whoa, what do you
know about this? I put on some Destroyed Lonely for him.
(44:23):
I put up some yea. I put on some Frank
Ocean and that was about it. He knows about Frank
Ocean some other stuff. And speaking of Steve Lacey again,
I love See Lacey. He's so cool, even just a
person's very cool. Um, So, Steve Lacey, if you're watching,
you might not be, but I'm cool with you. I'm
(44:44):
mess with you. But I should have played some Steve
Lacy for dad, because he did have that one song
inside that I feel like people forgot was him because
they kind of just rose up this year. But he's
kind of been possible yeah years, yeah, years, So yeah,
I can front. I've been in as dams for a
long time. Like you got going, young man, you was
(45:06):
giving you was giving them for Auntie vibes. Listen That's
my point. That was what I was trying to get atline,
because I catch myself around um young people, and I'm
very much an auntie. Like I'm not. I'm not like
you know, your friend. I'm really like your auntie. You
need some advice, honey, you need you need um direction
(45:28):
for something. I may not know, but I might know
somebody who knows somebody and maybe they can help you
get where you want to go. You know. I'm kind
of the mentor kind of auntie, you know, the celebration
kind of auntie. You know, I don't want to be
judgmental about things. I want you to be joyful. You know.
That's like I want you to be joyful and everything
that you do, and if it doesn't suit you, I
(45:51):
want you to stop doing that. You know. That's kind
of where I am. And that's that's what I don't know, Like,
I don't know if that's annoying. Is that annoying? Like,
if it is, that's that entirely is why I feel like, again,
kids my age love their aunties. They need their aunties,
even if they all admitted and again, those people that
(46:11):
are kind of done with dealing with the generational traumas
and stuff like that, and letting go of their older
relatives and stuff. Is a very small fraction of people.
Same thing with the very small fraction of people that
you'll encounter that really their identities are super confusing, quote unquote.
People tend to be like, oh, there's so many people
are the kids are leaving us. The kids don't care
(46:32):
about this. They're ungrateful dad. They're confusing me. Now, really
it's only a little bit of them and the ones
that are getting completely cut off or not like y'all,
the ones that are going to completely cut off are
the ones that kind of deserve but you know, problematic,
little problem problematic. And then and even then, you know,
sometimes all it takes a little switches behavior. Maybe y'all
(46:54):
be back, Maybe you'll be back. Maybe sometimes we got
work to do a lot of times something some of
us don't know. It's the ones that don't know and
don't want to do nothing bad. And again, I kind
of have an air of tolerance for ignorance a little bit,
you know, I I have a little bit of tolerance
for that out attempt to educate it, not at all,
let it sit. But if I was having a problem
(47:15):
with something. I'll make it known, you know, and it
doesn't necessarily mean you have to cut ties. But it's
just like something I have issue with, something you have
issue with. We could talk about it, or we could
not talk. Can we start go back to that question
I asked you earlier about, you know, relaxing being a
kid and how you tend to do that being a child.
(47:38):
I know kid is not appropriate. I'm sorry, No, no,
I actually don't have a problem with that. Actually I
touched on it a little bit. But it's just like
being around people that don't really not don't care about
these issues but don't really know a whole bunch about it.
It like almost like prohibits me from me even talking
about it because it won't really make a lot of sense.
It's just like hearing them talk about the stuff they're
interested in kind of just makes you get you put
(48:00):
you on a supportive standpoint. It's like, Oh, you want
to play a video game, We'll play a video game.
Oh you guys are gonna watch a movie tonight, We'll
watch a movie tonight, or are you gonna go do whatever.
It's like it kind of takes your mind off of
those big subjects. That kind are always boom boom booming,
and again you could just like turn it off for
a second and you can focus on, well they're interested
in and you're also interested in as well. Just sometimes
(48:23):
I tend to think, oh, this is low key racist,
Oh this is I just want to turn it off
every once in again line, I'm like you I can, Okay.
I think what's interesting is that what I do love
about my kids is that they're gonna call a spade
a spake. Yeah, they're not gonna fall into the part
(48:45):
where it's on their neck, but they're they're gonna say, yeah,
that's They're gonna call that for what it is, you
know what I mean. And I think they can enjoy
life in ways that that they can still enjoy the
joy aspect of a thing but still be realistic about
what they're looking at. And I feel like I always
think about it reminds me of The Whiz. I grew
up with the Whiz, and the Wiz is such a
(49:06):
significant part of my growing up and I love this
piece of work. It's one of the most important pieces
of art of my childhood, the Whiz. But as I
got older and I became a little bit more aware
of certain things. There's things in the Wiz I can't
unsee now, but I still love it. But like I
could call it for the big black dirt and horrible
(49:27):
witch that forces everyone to work in a sweatshop. Stop
a lot of I can't. Oh, the monkeys bothered me,
the flying monkeys, the monkeys. The good witch is light skin. Yeah,
(49:48):
but but did you see their lips? Stop it, Stop it.
It's a lot. It's not even the scarecrows. The scarecrows
one the music. He just wrote the music. He just
wrote the music. He just wrote. Yeah. I mean, there's
what I'm saying is that it's an important and beautifu
full piece of work. And like I said, one of
the best lessons I learned that life came from the
winds where it was just like everything that you need
is in you. If you keep trying to look externally
for the things that you'll never be able to be
(50:11):
who you are and be in the fullness of yourself.
And as long as you are aware of the fullness
of yourself, your home anywhere you are, so that that
will never be taken away, you know, in that sense
of the word. But you know, I don't typically ask
this question, but I know we're running out of time
and I really want Jail to ask my baby, you know,
the Jadi Ill question. My pleasure, Lana Danzler, that's my
(50:37):
what's on your heart? What is on my heart currently? Wow,
it's a big one. You know, last time you ask
me this question, I hadn't started high school yet. And
last time you ask me this question, I did not
have a niece. So a lot has changed. So I
would say, as it for right now, what it's on
(50:58):
my heart, it's just appreciation, just very grateful this time,
in this moment. You know, recently I've been feeling a
tad dressed out, but I feel like ever since the nineteenth,
I've just been very very grateful. I feel like my
whole energy in my life has gotten so much better.
(51:23):
So I would say all my heart is just love.
I just feel love right now, just feel so. I
just I'm feeling so much better, so much happier, and
I feel like everyone around me is too, which is
so great. It feels so great. So yeah, that's about
the extent of what is all my heart to this moment. See,
(51:44):
baby is living in gratitude. Snout of babies, a young woman,
and you know my older self. You know, I have
to say this that I've been waiting all my life
to be this age. I have been waiting all my
life to have this level of experience. And you know,
I have some wisdom that I love to share and
I'm really really grateful for this, and I'm really grateful
(52:08):
for you. Thank you so much for talking to us
and sharing with us and thinking out loud and letting
us know that we do have some value in your lives,
because we need to know that too, We really do.
You know, you all are so beautiful. It's so beautiful
and so creative, and the way that you think is
(52:30):
we really marvel at it quite frankly, and just want
to give you your flowers where you're sitting right now
and give you a big round of applause. Thank you,
Thank you for being here with us. Thank you all
the listeners for listening to Jadel the podcast. We are
sparking conversation to sparks Am love you so much. Take
(52:52):
care of y'all. Piece how do you eat an elephant?
One by it? Hey, listeners, it's Amber the producer here.
After that conversation, I am quietly humming my Children of
the Future. I mean, wow, Lana is a treasure, but
(53:14):
really are we surprised She's the daughter of one of
our wisest Internet aunties, Agia. Lana mentioned a show that
we should all check out called Who We Are on
Amazon Prime, So let's do our homework and give it
a watch. I'll drop the link in our show notes. Hi.
(53:43):
If you have comments on something we said in this episode,
call eight six six. Hey Jill, if you want to
add to this conversation, that's eight six six four three
nine five four five five. Don't forget to tell us
your name and the episode you're referring to. You might
just hear your message on a future episode. Yea, Lonnie,
(54:10):
you might as well just go ahead and start that show.
I don't when your show start. When your show starts,
like you do it, yo, you should just do it.
You have a Mike listen. Me and her have done
like multiple episodes, but she don't need me. I'm the Week.
Lady Jay dot Ill is a production of iHeartRadio. For
(54:32):
more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Welcome to Jay dot Il, a production of iHeartRadio. Hey everybody,
it's your girl, Aja Graydon downs Lur you know how
it is any who. I was asked to choose my
favorite episode, and it's no surprise. My favorite episode is
the one featuring my daughter, my daughter Lana, and it's
(00:25):
called Young Joining. The thing about it is that, you know,
having teenagers has been a big challenge for me. But
to be truthful, I enjoy young people a lot. I
learn a lot from young folks, and I think this
generation has so much sta can offer us, as all
of us did when we were young. But for me,
I really have tried to embrace all the things that
they have to give me. And my daughter is one
(00:46):
of those reasons, along with all of my children. But
this episode really just touched my heart and helped to
validate the reasons why I love giving young people a voice. Anyway,
I hope you guys enjoy it. This is my favor, y'all.
Give it a listen. Let me know what you think.
(01:07):
I don't know, good people. It is a pleasure to
be alive, Yo, It's a pleasure to be alive. Thank
you so much for listening. Taking some of your time
to listen to Jay dot Il the podcast. My name
is Joe Scott and I am here with my sister friends.
I lay like Saint Clair or whatever way you want
(01:27):
to say, Yes, I am here. You know I like
that like she don't know that. It don't matter as
long as you just saying whatever. Go ahead say Lia
Saint Clair. Okay, you know, with a with a period,
just so you know, just so you know, we're still
(01:49):
introducing ourselves, just because you know, we want jal exactly
where you are. You're a j dot L with Lia
Saint Clair and Joe Scott am agea great dans la.
Yes we like we like a three named baby, don't
we like her? We're into it. We're into it, y'all
are to a little hyphenatu sitch speaking of the babies
(02:12):
and not not exactly babies. I went to see a
concert the other night, y'all, and I went to see
Steve Lacy with my kid. Right now, Jet brought Steve
Lacy to my attention in the first place, and I
got this this overwhelming sense. I got some Prince vibes
in there. I was like, okay, you know, I enjoyed
(02:32):
the music much. I thought the lyrics were very thoughtful.
I was like, okay, you know, said dug in some
more and I was like, oh right, you know, happy
to see it, Like we're sincerely happy to see whenever.
You know, the young people not only are they like
they're vibing, but they're also like musically, you know, like
it's a super talent, you know, like yeah for super talents,
(02:56):
Like okay, that's what's up. And then there before him,
his opening app was this young girl. Um. I keep
saying young girl. She's probably like twenty something. I don't know, um,
but her name is Fuchet and she does music. Come on. Yes,
the whole esthetic, you know, that was really working. It
(03:16):
was such like a homage to the Hirie carrew um
I want to say correctly, the like Japanese anime. Oh okay,
so you know this Afro pump babies, that's an Afro
punk baby and for show, it was just really good
to see that kind of energy, you know, And I
(03:40):
was like, I like, I like this, I like being
around this. This is such a beautiful thing. Um. And oftentimes,
you know, we end up spending time with people around
our own age, which could definitely beat to our detriment.
Oh yes, yeah, y'all know how I have all I
have like an under lining irritation with my generation, like
(04:03):
anyone who listens to this podcast though, like, but we
irk me? Come on, come on, what is it? The irks? Uh?
We irked me because I feel like for us, we're
the We're the generation who grabbed the pearls, yanked them off,
(04:25):
and threw them into the gutter, only to crawl around
on the ground looking for each individual pearl, string them
back together, put them on our necks just so we
can clutch them. Oh Dan, you have to read us
like that. I feel that, and that that annoys me, Like,
(04:47):
y'all can't possibly be the face down, butt up generation
clutching pearls. Y'all have here clutching pearls. That is so
tru I would telling. Let me telling these old ladies. Yes,
you're such an old lady, now you know. Now I
think I'm an old lady now, Oh well, at least
(05:09):
you you know. Well, listen, old ladies not bad. It's
just made you old. Someone said this to me the
other day. But like, if you don't get old, that
means you die young. So be grateful. I mean that part.
But it's just the continuing, the opening the chasm of
the mind. What happened? You dig down deep and you know,
(05:30):
you decide that this is the way everything should be.
And because we grew up, this is her supposed to
look at her. Fight it. I don't know how it's
supposed to feel and how it's supposed to but that's
not tried it. You gotta fight that. It becoming You're like,
oh no, no, get abody, get out of here. No no,
open your mind. Stop stop, it's closing. It's clothing, open back,
open open it, open it because anything. Y'all. Don't watch y'all,
(05:52):
don't watch Game of Thrones. Y'all, don't don't you don't
like hold the door, Hold hold, hold door, Hold the door,
and the door open for a bird, the new fresh
you know, the cool wind and the new the new vibes,
(06:13):
the interesting people with these thoughts that as a man
that continuously will blow your mind if you let him
in the door, hold the door. Oh yes, old door,
old door. So so check this out. We have the
privilege and the pleasure of talking to Lana Danzler. Hi, yeah, yeah,
(06:40):
II listen this this little fresh faced this beauty. Good
to see you again. It's nice to see you. It's
nice to see you as well. You guys had a
very nice introduction into the conversation, so I didn't want
to interrupt, but um, it was it was actually interesting
to hear you guys say what you were saying, because
(07:01):
the other day it was actually in the car of
my dad and I've been telling him for a while
that I just wanted to take a drive with him
and listen to some of the music that I like
and just show it to him and like see what
he thought. And when we were in the car, I
showed him like some of the newer rappers that are
out right now, and you know, like we were joking around.
He was pretending like he liked it for a little bit,
(07:22):
but then hegan again told me he was kind of
like young people kind of operate on a different frequency,
I guess, and it's like, and not that it's a
bad frequency, but it's so much faster than what he's
used to. Now. He's just more on a slow taste
of journey as he gets older, so we like smoother music.
But when he was younger, he tells me, it was
(07:43):
kind of that same high frequency stuff. We like now.
We like to jump around, we like to move so much.
And you know, it's interesting. It's kind of like every
generation is like that. It's like every older generation has
always hated on the new generally. But he told me
it's like less of a hate. He feels like it
maybe more of a just misunderstanding. It's like a frequent
(08:07):
back to the frequency kind of um analogy. It's almost
like it's too loud for them. It's just like, why
would you just be quieter? Like how I am right
now more? She used there, And I think that was
that was very telling to me, because again, I feel
like it's easy to get into, oh my parents don't
understand me, or this is you know, like they're hating
(08:27):
on me. This is just life I like to live.
But it's just like they did. They were saying that
same argument a bunch of years ago. Yes, this the
other day, me and my mom were talking about something
that I wanted to wear and she kind of had
a problem with but she was just like, you know,
I've been through the same argument a million times my mother,
and I was like, WHOA, If you've been through it,
(08:48):
why can't I do it? This is that. But it's
just like it's just it's like a slower frequency. I
guess what did she say when you asked to that?
I'm so curious. I'm like, so what was what's the answer?
What is the answer if you've been through? She wore it? Okay,
Well it's it's an age old thing. It's anybody that's confused.
(09:09):
Lana is Agia and fifteen. Uh they're they're fifteen year
old daughter. Yes, so you're clear. Yes, we got to
do the echo fully. I know you got to rolland
that's because you know that's my baby. Yeah, the conversation listen,
So are we talking now, let's go. As soon as
I heard my name, I was like, oh yeah, so
(09:31):
the door has been open. So I'm na. Yeah. I
think I think it's interesting because like my my teenager.
So I have twins who are almost fifteen and December
home girl. But but Jill Scott just said I'm fifteen.
Thought I was correcting a lot of change. You know what,
(09:59):
se right ahead, I'm gonna go ahead. I'm go ahead.
Let that one slave get ready world more real talk
after the break. So, yeah, I have fifteen year old
(10:23):
twins almost fifteen year old twins, and then of course
my eighteen year old just went away to college. And
so now in the household we have we only have
two official teenagers and then DNAs twelve, so he'll be
thirteen in February. But yeah, so now we're experiencing the
life of teenagers for the second time. So we have
(10:46):
older kids who are twenty three, twenty and eighteen, and
they're all outside of the well moved on with their lives,
and so at this point now we're experiencing like a
new group of teens, and so it's kind of interesting
to kind of get into what's important to them and
how they feel. Yesterday we had a conversation about about safety.
(11:09):
And I posted about this a while back, just about
what makes young people feel safe, and Lana had a
discussion in class about it, and so you know, I
really would like her to chime in about that in particular,
because I think, really the conversation with young people has
to start with safety. How do they feel safe enough
(11:32):
to be in conversation and relationship with us, not just
as parents, but just as elders in the community. Period.
Oh yes, please, please and thank you. So I have
this class freshman seminar, and basically, when I go to
senior year, I'm gonna have to write a very long
paper called a senior excent. You guys want to know
about it to graduate. But this class freshman seminar is
(11:54):
to prepare me for that. So they have plant little
seeds of writing and finding arguments or specific pomps and
pacific topics to help you with later on when you
have to do that big assignment, to just kind of
seat it into your brain a little bit. So we
were arguing about whether when I argue, well, debating about
whether kids getting out of school later would be safer
(12:15):
for them on the way home, and it kind of
despiraled this tangent about feeling safe in Philadelphia in general,
which the black kids in my class kind of overtook,
which just a little side you know about that. I
go to Kappa, which is Creative Performing Ours High school
in Philadelphia, and there are a lot of perceptions about
the diversity at that school. But I would say it's
(12:38):
very predominantly black. So there is not a single classroom
without at least or at least ten black students. It's
a very black But a lot of people don't know
that but Kappa's very black, and we just kind of
got into this large conversation about how it feels to
be safe in Philadelphia or not safe more or so.
(13:00):
And it was kind of going back and forth because
there are a lot of black women in my class,
and I consider myself particularly very educated on racial issues,
but there's a lot of also black men in my class,
and the topic of intersectionality was not being really focused
on when we were having this discussion. And there was
a very big thing where this girl was talking about
(13:23):
how she felt unsafe due to being kind of cat called,
and you know, once she takes the bus and to
train the subway. And then there's this one kid in
my class who's a black male. He goes, well, black
men get murdered every day, and the statistics show that
there's been more violence towards the black men since the
beginning of time, and that really set me off, Like,
(13:45):
first of all, what statistics statistics that you get this
second of all, it just I just think, like like
debate rule one on one, or even like respectable rule
one on one, when someone who's marginal lives or especially
more oppressed than you was talking about something, they're going
(14:06):
through if you'll start your sentence with but and then
something else, it's very big red flag, and it's very ignorant,
and it's like a kind of ding ding ding. You're uneducated,
like light in my head. And I also, though, feel
like when black people are talking about our experiences, I
don't think it's right to rob them of that Black
(14:27):
year wrong or this year that. But I do think
it's we should take the time to educate them, because again,
I feel like sometimes we can't always articulate how we're
feeling in a way that makes sense. So again, when
I was in that class and a lot of my
classrooms are talking about their experience and we have an
opportunity to educate a lot of the white kids in
the room, there was some language that I felt was
(14:48):
not being articulated correctly, and I didn't want to misinform
the classroom in such an important moment. So I took
it a palm myself, and I joined the conversation late,
but I took it a palm myself to try and
get those thoughts out in a way that made sense
for someone who doesn't have the black experience. But that
was what I went through the other day that my
(15:09):
mom was talking about. And I feel like being safe
in Philadelphia and being and safe as a minor is
very much in her type of situation. I really feel like,
I'm like, we have so much stuff about what you
can do to be safe, what you can do, But
even then, you could do all of these things. You
could stay in the house your entire life. You could
(15:29):
still be a victim of attack. I mean, Brianna Taylor
was in her own home, she was in her own home.
She just still die from violence. It's like, what is
it that you can do? And I don't mean that
as the depressing thing, but even I said this at
the beginning of my rant in the classroom, I was like,
all of the black people that are here and are
alive in America today are all here by chance. You
could have been the most well behaved slave in the world,
(15:51):
but an oversee her in a bad mood could have
ended your entire bloodline just because they wanted to, because
they were having a bad day. So my point is
that we can do all of these things to try
and assimilate, try to be safe, or we could dress
a certain way, we cannot take public transportation, we could
avoid bad streets. We could do this, we could do that.
And even then being black in America and being black
(16:13):
in Philadelphia, being black in the city, it's still it
doesn't guarantee you safety, right. What was the response? What
did everybody say? Want you well? Again? The very early
in freshman year, so it kind of was like a
silence in the classroom for a while, I'm sure. And
(16:36):
my teacher, mister Rasher, he's a white man, and not
only does he teach freshman seminar, but he also teaches
African American studies at KAPPA, and he does seem to
be very self aware about the fact that that's slightly weird.
But he did tell me that he appreciated that I
brought up the intersectionality in this topic because it hadn't
(16:57):
really been addressed, and he liked the way that I
worded it. But it did kind of leave a silence
over the room. I think it also took was a
lot to take in. Again, but that was the kind
of the response to the room. I didn't get any
bad responses. Even the black boy that had made the
comment about will black men get killed every day? He
(17:17):
was very silent and just like taking in the information
that I said, he didn't have an attitude or make
a face, because again, I was trying to educate the classroom.
I wasn't trying to be rude or anything. Again, ignorance
in the black community about black issues is still very prevalent.
Like you'd be surprised about how many people don't know
about their own culture and know about the real reason
(17:38):
these things are the way that they are, the reason
why we live in the hood and they live in
the suburbs, the reason that this, this is that. And
that's again why I felt like I needed to articulate
some of the things that weren't you know, because not
all of us have access to the information as to
why those things are the way that they are. A
lot of us, yeah, yeah, are you people are really
(18:00):
thinking in broad strokes broader than ever before if you
ask me, And I say that because I think are
wal Miles and my generation was probably think about it
this way, just going back a couple of generations. My
grandmother was born in nineteen seventeen. So the odds of
(18:22):
walking down the road and seeing somebody humes high you
feel me, the odds of your father leaving, I mean,
we still have these things. So that's the crazy part,
leaving and not ever coming back because he's been captured
and you know, mutilated is a real, very very real thing.
(18:45):
She was around before they were really couldn't vote, right,
cars were kind of they were new or didn't have
one of those that clearly didn't have one of those.
My great grandparents were sharecroppers. Yeah, and just to say
that my great grandparents were share croppers. All right, so
(19:05):
we're talking about my mother. You know, my mother's were
nineteen forty seven, I believe, and she couldn't sit on
the front of the bus. Then we have this generation,
our generation, your parents on Lana, and we were pretty
much able to do everything that we wanted to do,
you know, if we wanted to go to college, if
we wanted to wear pants. Because in the seventies, you know,
(19:30):
we've got this natural hair and these vibes, and you know,
everybody's standing up and discovering their blackness. And then you've
got us, and now we've got you, and you all
are more free than anything that I've ever seen. I
think that there may be a slight sense of jealousy,
(19:51):
you know, that may be some resentment in there because
you all not all. You're able to own your sexuality.
I admit to that. Yeah, you're able to start a
business at a young age and be profitable from it.
You're able to literally do anything. Your outlook is so
(20:13):
far we haven't even seen you know how far you
walk and go and how quickly you can do it.
We have this mentality that you have to learn from
the ground up. You have to and and these things
are still good. I think it's still solid to learn
something from the ground up. But you all, I don't
know if it's if it's osmosis, like what's going on
(20:35):
the side. Don't don't forget about the flip side, Jill though,
tell me tell them. I let Lana tell us. As
you were talking, I was just but we didn't have
like shooting drills. We had fire drills. We didn't have
shooting drills. That wasn't a thing. School shootings wasn't a
popular thing that happened multiple times to where you were
like de escalate like and even the thing with what's
(20:57):
going on with policing and and black Post seems like
more than ever. Because we didn't have the visuals, we
didn't have video like we have today, and so I'm curious.
I'm gonna let line of talk about speak like in
terms of, like what are the challenges, like so we
from our advantage point, we can see the advantages that
you have. But like if you had an opportunity to
speak out, because like at this point there's hella adults
(21:17):
listening to this, so like if they needed you wanted
them to know some of like particular challenges that they
should be keyed into, and not to make you speak
for all young people, speak for yourself, specifically yourself. I
think one of the big things. It's just like I
think this generation the internet has really been a huge
part of making everything kind of more I just think
(21:38):
like seeing what people are going through. I think first
the internet was you saw the struggle and then finding
literally watching the progression of people learning to deal with
their struggle and being like I relate to that too.
I think that's the reason why so many people have
learned to be more open, because there's people whose entires,
lives and the entire journeys are documented. Like there are
(21:59):
people that I've followed on TikTok that discovered that they
were trans and I followed their journey before they even
knew that. So it's like you watch the progression of
people's journeys in their lives, and then there's other viewers
that are like, I relate to that people's mental health issues.
This is that. I feel like that's how it's become
more normalized in our society, because you are able to
(22:20):
look into somebody else's eyes, into somebody else's life, and
you can say I can relate to that. And I
feel like before that, it's so easy for people to
feel isolated in their environments. I feel like now it's
more you see everybody like you, and and there are
the downsides of that too. I feel like, again, some
people play to other people's emotions and try and gain
(22:42):
that relatability so they can try and force them into
a type of lifestyle. You know, there's this kind of, uh,
this joke on the internet, this thing called the manosphere
or whatever. I don't know if you guys have ever
heard of it. It's like those, yeah, those little motivational
videos for men that start by applying to their insecurities
and then they start saying this is how you fix it,
(23:03):
and instead of actually being productive, it's just misogynistic viewpoints
are telling them you can get women by being very
disrespectful to women, and this is how you make money,
this is how you like And there's even stuff like
that exists like that for women as well, like where
they try and apply to women's insecurities and then they
tell them, well, this is how you get skinny, this
is how you do this, this is how you do that.
(23:24):
Instead of those productive things that have existed to help
people with their journeys, there are also things that exist
that are just there to help benefit someone in specifics,
not the viewers, not their supporters. It's just there to
basically take advantage. So I think those are one things
you have to look out for on the internet is
(23:46):
who is a productive influence to follow on who's not.
And that's actually something I'm learning about. In Jim, they
were trying to teach us the difference between a life
influencer and a regular influencer. And it's like someone who
flexes their lifestyle onto you and makes themselves feel unachievable
unless you follow these inappropriate steps or these steps that
(24:07):
aren't really going to get you there. Or a life
influencer someone who tells you your life can be better,
but you can make it good the way it is now,
or these are little things you can do for yourself,
or you're going through this. I'm going through this. This
is how we can be better. Da. It's like, I
just feel like or people that just healthily show you
(24:28):
their lives that just like you know those people that
vlog every day, or those you know, motivational people on
the internet, people that just kind of give you a
healthy insight into their life, and even if they don't
show you everything. Because I think the whole saying social
media is fake, da da da da da, I think
social media being fake can be a good thing sometimes,
(24:49):
Like I feel like, if you're a family YouTuber or whatever,
families have struggles, But do you need to put that
on your YouTube channel? No, because some people might watch
that to feel better about themselves. Some people might watch
it be like I didn't have a good relationship with
my family, but it's nice to see these children grow
and this family blossom together, even if they might have
(25:09):
issues offscreen. I feel like sometimes having a curated image
like that is okay. And I feel like people are
so obsessed with authenticity it's kind of a bad thing,
Like things like the shade rum, stuff like that we're
constantly seeing these toxic couples and these problematic is that
I don't think it's good for people, and I don't
(25:31):
think it's good this access people have to people's lives
so much now that they feel entitled to their lives
and entitled to opinions about these people that they don't
even know. That's why I feel like, sometimes curation is good.
Sometimes it's better if you only see this person's picture
when it's a paparazzi photo of them leaving somewhere, not
a paparazzi photo of them being intimate with someone or
(25:53):
something like that. I just feel like this like access
or like just straight up entitlement. Maybe, and I hate
to cut you off, but maybe there's a thing with
us where we have to understand that the thing that
makes y'all different is this is this experience with social
media and the internet, and that that experience cannot be
(26:18):
defined so rigidly as good or bad. That's what I'm saying. Yeah,
what I'm hearing from you is that it's a layered
and complex experience that we need to be aware of.
That there is such a thing as a life influencer,
as opposed to a regular influencer. I've never even heard
that before. Men. That's the crazy part. Y'all learn that
(26:40):
in school, and grown ups don't even they don't know
how to regulate their social media like that, right, So
how can they even begin to talk to you about
it when they don't even know that? That's my mind
was blown when you said that, like and also and
also trying to audit myself mentally, like, yeah, which which one?
Are you right? Because clearly not everything thing is bad? Right? Right? Everything?
(27:03):
You know? I think that the people in my age
bracket and above, you know, we're kind we're a little
bit in shock, overwhelmed. We're a little bit overwhelmed. It's
it's a lot both. Oh my god, Like the internet
came when we were in high school, friends, like it happens,
(27:23):
things started happening from there. It was like the beeper,
the cell phone to pet and it was just like
and then we still gotta keep up with y'all too,
and oh my goodness, it's like it's it's so I
just stuff here. I mean for staying in your lane,
I mean I'm here for it, for being this this adult,
(27:45):
this the adult that you are right now. I'm here
for you doing that, but I'm also here for you
to to expand your mind and be able to relate
to the youth because you know, I believe the children
are in future. They are you know, So it's not
that deep. You have to open up. We're gonna take
(28:06):
a quick break and then we'll be right back. Lana,
you mentioned sexuality. Um, we've like when I grew up.
I'll say that when I grew up that that homosexual
(28:28):
men were in an area of the city where I
grew up in Philly. They were in one area and
if that's what you wanted to see or hang around,
or that's what you wanted to experience, then that's where
you went. Now people are finally able to be all
(28:49):
of themselves everywhere they go and nobody has to live
in a closet anymore. Do you do? You grasp? How
what a what a gigantic big deal that is? It's
so weird. It's so weird sometimes I think about it.
Two Sometimes I asked my mom, like, you really didn't
(29:10):
have like a phone with a screen on it, Like,
how is it like now? You just used to Now
you got this tap smartphone. I was like, you know, it,
but you used to have them buttons. I'm like, girl,
we had a rotary our generation keeping up all day.
She's so right. I didn't even think about it like that.
She's so right. Yeah, you get so used to it
(29:30):
because it's like you get so accustomed to it and
so fast. I feel like, maybe just me, I feel
like it. You get so fastly, Like I like, there
be four year olds that know how to work the iPad.
I remember the end of the day my little cousin
was here and it was like the other day. It
was a long time ago. He was about three, and
he has YouTube up and he tells me he wants
(29:52):
to watch the Spider Man video. And I'm thinking he's three,
let me look it up for him. He's like no,
he typed Spider Man into YouTube bar and searches it out.
I'm like, you, let me know. I've seen nine month
olds been able to scroll through things, you know, and
find like the like the parents had a series of
(30:13):
films or movies or whatever in there in the little
iPad and baby just just went and found what they wanted.
You can't even read. You can touch Spider Man into
you too. That's a lot of like I just wonder
what I can't wait you'll become grown ups. I'm like,
what does that look like when knowledge starts from that point?
And also here's a question too, Lona, what's the chill
(30:35):
looked like? Because I was thinking about that as you
was giving us your reenactment of what happened in class
that day and all of that knowledge and well rediness
that you have, I was like, what is the chill?
What is the like? Yeah? How how do you how
do you kind of manage yeah, knowing these things like
where where is the where's the kid? Yeah? The kid
(30:59):
like likeness? We tackle that other question, okay, because because
it's a it's a whole new world. Did you hear
what jail I asked you? Yeah, about like, um, people
having so many sexual identity Yeah, I feel like, uh,
(31:20):
and this is just might be one thing that I noticed.
But sometimes I feel like people make it seem like
it's a lot, a lot more overwhelming than it is.
For example, Uh, there's this thing on the internet called
neo pronouns. We're not on the internet, but some people
really it's just like where people's pronouns aren't she heard?
They they're like, uh, something like some people would like
to be called like different like objects as they're pronouns,
(31:43):
and I don't never entirely understand it. But I've never
met a person that used that. But there's such this,
there's this big discourse on the internet or whether this
is something people should do or this is stupid, this
is this is a but still never even met anyone
that uses those pronouns. It's almost like people want it
to be, Oh, you don't know what anybody is these days,
(32:05):
but it's like some of these people have never even
met a non binary person. You just want to be
overwhelmed by these things. You feel like it's all around
you when it really isn't. Again, there are so much
more openness in society today, but there are also some
people in this world that still kind of live in
a bit of a pocket. And I feel like, as
(32:27):
a society, we need to stop pretending like it's like
changing our way of life. I guess I feel like
we should never really assume what someone goes by. Again.
When I was a kid, you don't know, I had short,
foresty hair, I would be misgendered a lot, and I
was born a girl. So it's like, is that right though?
(32:51):
But when someone tells you don't assume people's gender, you're
automatically thinking, oh, this changes my way of life. I
don't approve of this. I don't approve of that. But
I was born a girl and you miss gendered me.
So it's almost like, why don't we just use these
neutral words for people? Why is that so hard? Because
it could offend the same people. You say you're tired
of the girls with day weaves, and they this, and
they that I presented myself as naturally and you still
(33:14):
disrespected me. And I was and I'm not a part
of any community that you're so called don't approve of.
So I don't get it. You know what I'm trying
to say, You know, yes, yes, people try so hard
to make this is this is someone's own fault. This
is changing my lifestyle, when really your lifestyle just wasn't productive.
It just wasn't It never worked, it wasn't cool, it
(33:37):
never worked, and you know it never worked, and you
know it never worked. You know it was never helping anybody.
And I like that we live in the world that's open,
but I feel like it could be a lot more opener,
and I feel like it I feel like people want
to be overwhelmed. Sometimes people want something to be mad at.
We need something to be mad at as a society,
because we need to direct our anger towards something that's
(33:57):
not the big issues. So we can follow our pill
and we can, you know, make it seem like everything's okay.
We're like, yeah, the reason everything sucks, it's because the
pink sauce lady. That's why mine. No, she might be bad,
but she didn't make all these things. Unfortunately, Lady is
not the root of all of our issues. Fifteen. Okay,
(34:23):
is this it's a fair question. Do you feel a
need or desire to be around us? You mean like adults. Yeah,
let's just let's just say that that your mother's friends
are pretty much like her. You know, they're they're interesting
and knowledgeable. You know, they're they're cool in their own way,
(34:47):
you know, living life and learning as they go, like
the like most people with good sense. I think you
know you're learning. You stumbled and you get back up
and you're like, oh, you know what I mean? Um,
because you have I have so much information. You have
this this. I don't know if I could call it clarity.
(35:09):
I don't know if that's exactly what I'm looking for,
but the insight to expand and grow on a daily
basis because you've got so many tools to do it.
Do you feel like you you still enjoy us or
need us in any way other than financially taking care
of you? I ask, but actually, you know what I'm saying,
(35:34):
do you help me without my cash app? I'm going
to ask you to speak as much as you can
for young people around your age, like, do y'all y'all
f with us. I feel like some of us are
at a point where it's like it's been a very
big thing. It's like I won't respect my elders and
let's I get respect back. And this is that. I
(35:56):
think that's a very progressive place to be in. But
I feel like we need family. Feel like people that
cut all ties they end up kind of missing it.
And I don't feel like I get disrespected in my family,
just like as an example, I know there's some people
that kind of move on that wavelength or even I like,
if they have like political disagreements with their family, they're
(36:18):
just like, no, I'm done, And I completely understand that.
And to speak for my whole generation, I just would
have to address that act of it because there are
some people that genuinely, do you know, perceive their family
members as like or even the older people in their
life is just kind of like, I don't respect your
opinion and you don't respect my opinion. So that's kind
(36:39):
of the end of our relationship. Besides, you know, the
cash aft, like my mom said, but I think there
is like I feel like, as young people again, we
still kind of are bits stuck in our ways a
bit about what's immature, Like, oh, I can't say my
mom's my best friend, but there are a lot of
us that are just like I love my mom's my
best friend. I love to have conversation. I love having
(37:01):
conversations with older black ladies. My mom knows this. I know.
When you guys ask that question, she was just like,
that's my happy place. Big. I just I am completely
I need that insight because again, you guys ask like,
what kind of keeps me grounded in a bit? And
I do like having friends that aren't really as interested
in these topics, just because it kind of helps take
(37:23):
my mind off of it because it's a lot and
you can kind of find the real reason why this
is that and this is that like you're gonna get
caught up and all that stuff sometimes just living your life.
But it's easy to just ta those people. You can
just kind of turn off that side of your brain
and you can just kind of enjoy that child like perspective.
But then it's nice to have conversations like this with
a bunch of educated, beautiful, intelligent women, and it's like
(37:45):
it feels like you're more so heard and you can relate.
You know, It's like I could talk about my favorite
show with my friends, and then I could talk about,
you know, Redlining with you guys, and I could talk
about like I wanted to talk about your favorite what
you mean red Line? And I ain't always go so deep.
Well know, me and my mom actually do watch a
(38:05):
lot of the same shows, by the way, And I've
been trying to get her to watch The Sandman on
Netflix recently and she won't watch it. And I know
you're a grandma, now, I know you got business, but
you when revere caa snuggle up and watch that show. Mom.
First of all, I did watch Umbrella. You put me
onto Umbrella Academy is season three so bad? No season
three so no season three, but I mean one and
(38:28):
two is good. They changed stuff up, and it's weird
they switched it up. But but I'm just saying you
put it so. I'm glad you brought up a show
because my son and I got a chance to watch
You Fouria together. And I don't know if you all
watched You Fouria. Have you watched that at all? I
know you watch it. Okay, it's safe space. It's a
safe space. She can't do nothing. Let me just well,
(38:49):
first answer, did you watch it? Na, I've I've seen
some of it. It's the episode of too long for
me to actually watch all of it, but I've seen
some of it. Can't That's a thing like, Okay, I've
noticed that your generation also wants things kind of quick.
You don't really want to long form any just pace storytelling.
(39:10):
I don't know if it's really my thing. I don't
like all the moves, and I feel like it's kind
of lazy. I don't know it's a controversial to say.
I feel like it's a little It's just like everybody's
allowed to have an opinion. I will say this to
the listeners. Um, if you haven't watched Euphoria, there's a
(39:33):
real reason why they're winning all these awards, and it's
not just because Zendea is beautiful, Like she's exceptionally talented,
and so is that cast and the stories that they're telling.
When I watched it, I was like, Oh, I don't
really have to answer a lot of questions because a
lot of the answers are in euphoria. When we're talking
(39:54):
about accountability, when we're talking about sex, drugs, when we're
talking about sexuality, when we're talking when we're talking about living,
a lot of the experiences are in euphoria, recovery. Uh,
the list of relationship with parents, relationship. Yeah, I'm not
saying this to be a hater, because again, I actually
(40:16):
I have what I've seen in the second season. I
actually really like it's a lot more slow paced. I
just don't don't like. I kind of feel like, if
you can't keep it in one place and keep the
audience's attention, I think it's it might be overwhelming. And
that's kind of how it is for me on like
multiple storylines like that. I don't like multiple storylines and
when it waves together kind of that's why I kind
(40:36):
of like the end of the season. The first season
a little bit, but again I'm not sure how all
of it ends. The first season is a little fast
paced for me, but I like what I've seen my
second I might go back and watch it, but I
think that again, not because again I don't want to
be like the one person that doesn't like the show.
I do, like, what do you think in terms of
like media, Like I think, uh, from a parental standpoint,
(40:57):
it's always hard to kind of I think, lock into
media or that that that expresses or feels like it's
speaking for young people. It feels like as soon as
we lock into something, y'all have moved on. Or we'll
lock into something and we'll think, oh, this is groundbreaking,
and y'all are like, yeah, whatever, we don't even talk
like that. And I remember being a young person and
(41:20):
having that, you know, like our parents thinking that hip
hop was like the Rice Crispi's commercial when Snap Cracker
and Pop was rapping. They're like, yeah, that, I like that,
that that jingle is nice. If that all the rap
music sounded like that, I would love it. And we
were like, no, that's that's that's not how that sounds. So,
(41:41):
you know, is there any like media that you really think, like, Okay,
this is on the post of kind of what young
people are feeling and they're connecting with I would say, again,
are there are a lot of themes in You for
You that I think are really really good for parents
to watch, even but I don't want them to think
that all of the children are living that life. I
feel like some parent might watch You for You and
(42:02):
come back thinking my child's a drug addict or something
like that, like, no, you used to be careful, don't
don't make the wrong assumptions. But just like kind of
just the life they're living in, kind of the emotions
they're feeling, is very beautifully portrayed in that show, especially
with Sindea, Like again, like she's very talented to re
iterate what's already been said. But again, the show that
(42:23):
I watched on Amazon Prime called We Are Who We Are,
it's really nice to me. The emotion of the show,
it's very it's not it's um it's not too explicit
on the themes. It lets you kind of think of
it for yourself, but the way the characters behave seems
very normal to me, and um, their emotions just seem
very normal to me, and again, it's kind of, uh,
(42:45):
it's less this. Yeah, I liked the show. I liked
the show. I thought it was very interesting. You get
very invested into it, and it's much more slow pace,
I would say, um, and I feel like if Euphoria
is kind of too fast for you, then maybe you
might like that show. But they tackle some different themes,
and they also tackle something that isn't really that prevalent
(43:08):
in Euphoria, which is there's a character with mental illness
that's not like Ruse. It's more so like I think
he might struggle with I don't want to make a guess,
but it's different than what she goes through. But it's
kind of behaviors and stuff. It's an interesting watch, I
would say, And now all the episodes are I don't
(43:29):
think they're having a season too. But it also deals
with a black female main character that trying to transition
into a trans man, which is kind of similar to
some of the themes that are in Euphoria, but with
yeah the opposite. Yeah, I love a good TV wreck.
More conversation after the break, you were talking about being
(44:01):
in the car with your dad and you wanted him
listen to some of the music I was just curious
what you were playing for your dad. Oh, this is
not music I particularly listen to. But my dad's very
interested in djaying and stuff, and I be trying to
put him onto stuff that commun kids my age or
listening to, or at least something that like if he
put it on, they'd be like, whoa, what do you
know about this? I put on some Destroyed Lonely for him.
(44:23):
I put up some yea. I put on some Frank
Ocean and that was about it. He knows about Frank
Ocean some other stuff. And speaking of Steve Lacey again,
I love See Lacey. He's so cool, even just a
person's very cool. Um, So, Steve Lacey, if you're watching,
you might not be, but I'm cool with you. I'm
(44:44):
mess with you. But I should have played some Steve
Lacy for dad, because he did have that one song
inside that I feel like people forgot was him because
they kind of just rose up this year. But he's
kind of been possible yeah years, yeah, years, So yeah,
I can front. I've been in as dams for a
long time. Like you got going, young man, you was
(45:06):
giving you was giving them for Auntie vibes. Listen That's
my point. That was what I was trying to get atline,
because I catch myself around um young people, and I'm
very much an auntie. Like I'm not. I'm not like
you know, your friend. I'm really like your auntie. You
need some advice, honey, you need you need um direction
(45:28):
for something. I may not know, but I might know
somebody who knows somebody and maybe they can help you
get where you want to go. You know. I'm kind
of the mentor kind of auntie, you know, the celebration
kind of auntie. You know, I don't want to be
judgmental about things. I want you to be joyful. You know.
That's like I want you to be joyful and everything
that you do, and if it doesn't suit you, I
(45:51):
want you to stop doing that. You know. That's kind
of where I am. And that's that's what I don't know, Like,
I don't know if that's annoying. Is that annoying? Like,
if it is, that's that entirely is why I feel like, again,
kids my age love their aunties. They need their aunties,
even if they all admitted and again, those people that
(46:11):
are kind of done with dealing with the generational traumas
and stuff like that, and letting go of their older
relatives and stuff. Is a very small fraction of people.
Same thing with the very small fraction of people that
you'll encounter that really their identities are super confusing, quote unquote.
People tend to be like, oh, there's so many people
are the kids are leaving us. The kids don't care
(46:32):
about this. They're ungrateful dad. They're confusing me. Now, really
it's only a little bit of them and the ones
that are getting completely cut off or not like y'all,
the ones that are going to completely cut off are
the ones that kind of deserve but you know, problematic,
little problem problematic. And then and even then, you know,
sometimes all it takes a little switches behavior. Maybe y'all
(46:54):
be back, Maybe you'll be back. Maybe sometimes we got
work to do a lot of times something some of
us don't know. It's the ones that don't know and
don't want to do nothing bad. And again, I kind
of have an air of tolerance for ignorance a little bit,
you know, I I have a little bit of tolerance
for that out attempt to educate it, not at all,
let it sit. But if I was having a problem
(47:15):
with something. I'll make it known, you know, and it
doesn't necessarily mean you have to cut ties. But it's
just like something I have issue with, something you have
issue with. We could talk about it, or we could
not talk. Can we start go back to that question
I asked you earlier about, you know, relaxing being a
kid and how you tend to do that being a child.
(47:38):
I know kid is not appropriate. I'm sorry, No, no,
I actually don't have a problem with that. Actually I
touched on it a little bit. But it's just like
being around people that don't really not don't care about
these issues but don't really know a whole bunch about it.
It like almost like prohibits me from me even talking
about it because it won't really make a lot of sense.
It's just like hearing them talk about the stuff they're
interested in kind of just makes you get you put
(48:00):
you on a supportive standpoint. It's like, Oh, you want
to play a video game, We'll play a video game.
Oh you guys are gonna watch a movie tonight, We'll
watch a movie tonight, or are you gonna go do whatever.
It's like it kind of takes your mind off of
those big subjects. That kind are always boom boom booming,
and again you could just like turn it off for
a second and you can focus on, well they're interested
in and you're also interested in as well. Just sometimes
(48:23):
I tend to think, oh, this is low key racist,
Oh this is I just want to turn it off
every once in again line, I'm like you I can, Okay.
I think what's interesting is that what I do love
about my kids is that they're gonna call a spade
a spake. Yeah, they're not gonna fall into the part
(48:45):
where it's on their neck, but they're they're gonna say, yeah,
that's They're gonna call that for what it is, you
know what I mean. And I think they can enjoy
life in ways that that they can still enjoy the
joy aspect of a thing but still be realistic about
what they're looking at. And I feel like I always
think about it reminds me of The Whiz. I grew
up with the Whiz, and the Wiz is such a
(49:06):
significant part of my growing up and I love this
piece of work. It's one of the most important pieces
of art of my childhood, the Whiz. But as I
got older and I became a little bit more aware
of certain things. There's things in the Wiz I can't
unsee now, but I still love it. But like I
could call it for the big black dirt and horrible
(49:27):
witch that forces everyone to work in a sweatshop. Stop
a lot of I can't. Oh, the monkeys bothered me,
the flying monkeys, the monkeys. The good witch is light skin. Yeah,
(49:48):
but but did you see their lips? Stop it, Stop it.
It's a lot. It's not even the scarecrows. The scarecrows
one the music. He just wrote the music. He just
wrote the music. He just wrote. Yeah. I mean, there's
what I'm saying is that it's an important and beautifu
full piece of work. And like I said, one of
the best lessons I learned that life came from the
winds where it was just like everything that you need
is in you. If you keep trying to look externally
for the things that you'll never be able to be
(50:11):
who you are and be in the fullness of yourself.
And as long as you are aware of the fullness
of yourself, your home anywhere you are, so that that
will never be taken away, you know, in that sense
of the word. But you know, I don't typically ask
this question, but I know we're running out of time
and I really want Jail to ask my baby, you know,
the Jadi Ill question. My pleasure, Lana Danzler, that's my
(50:37):
what's on your heart? What is on my heart currently? Wow,
it's a big one. You know, last time you ask
me this question, I hadn't started high school yet. And
last time you ask me this question, I did not
have a niece. So a lot has changed. So I
would say, as it for right now, what it's on
(50:58):
my heart, it's just appreciation, just very grateful this time,
in this moment. You know, recently I've been feeling a
tad dressed out, but I feel like ever since the nineteenth,
I've just been very very grateful. I feel like my
whole energy in my life has gotten so much better.
(51:23):
So I would say all my heart is just love.
I just feel love right now, just feel so. I
just I'm feeling so much better, so much happier, and
I feel like everyone around me is too, which is
so great. It feels so great. So yeah, that's about
the extent of what is all my heart to this moment. See,
(51:44):
baby is living in gratitude. Snout of babies, a young woman,
and you know my older self. You know, I have
to say this that I've been waiting all my life
to be this age. I have been waiting all my
life to have this level of experience. And you know,
I have some wisdom that I love to share and
I'm really really grateful for this, and I'm really grateful
(52:08):
for you. Thank you so much for talking to us
and sharing with us and thinking out loud and letting
us know that we do have some value in your lives,
because we need to know that too, We really do.
You know, you all are so beautiful. It's so beautiful
and so creative, and the way that you think is
(52:30):
we really marvel at it quite frankly, and just want
to give you your flowers where you're sitting right now
and give you a big round of applause. Thank you,
Thank you for being here with us. Thank you all
the listeners for listening to Jadel the podcast. We are
sparking conversation to sparks Am love you so much. Take
(52:52):
care of y'all. Piece how do you eat an elephant?
One by it? Hey, listeners, it's Amber the producer here.
After that conversation, I am quietly humming my Children of
the Future. I mean, wow, Lana is a treasure, but
(53:14):
really are we surprised She's the daughter of one of
our wisest Internet aunties, Agia. Lana mentioned a show that
we should all check out called Who We Are on
Amazon Prime, So let's do our homework and give it
a watch. I'll drop the link in our show notes. Hi.
(53:43):
If you have comments on something we said in this episode,
call eight six six. Hey Jill, if you want to
add to this conversation, that's eight six six four three
nine five four five five. Don't forget to tell us
your name and the episode you're referring to. You might
just hear your message on a future episode. Yea, Lonnie,
(54:10):
you might as well just go ahead and start that show.
I don't when your show start. When your show starts,
like you do it, yo, you should just do it.
You have a Mike listen. Me and her have done
like multiple episodes, but she don't need me. I'm the Week.
Lady Jay dot Ill is a production of iHeartRadio. For
(54:32):
more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
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