January 11, 2023 • 61 mins
In this episode Jill, Laiya, and Aja talk to intuitive education coach Sharon Green. Sharon and Jill walk through her experience finding the best educational options for her son Jett. If you want to learn more about finding the right school choices for your family check out some of the articles below. If you want to work with Sharon, you can connect with her through her company BloomTree Educational Services, bloomtreeinc@gmail.com.
https://www.oprah.com/app/the-sonrise-project.html
https://www.readingrockets.org/article/four-steps-selecting-school-your-child
https://schoolchoiceweek.com/tips/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Jay dot il a production of I Heart
Radio Plus Up. Everybody, Welcome to Jay dot Ilga podcast.
It is always such a pleasure to have these kind
of conversations. I'm be with mine, my sister friends, Asia
Graydon Dandler. That would be me darling, and it is
(00:26):
her darling. I'm the fantastic, amazing and wonderful Layah sat
Claire President. I don't I don't want to use that
accent when I say Liah st Schel having a big
hat and smack pitches right, baby with a big fan. Honey,
(00:47):
she needs to be fanned at all times. And you
should say things like you have the audacity. You have
the audacity you have to call everybody sweetie. Yeah, right
now I'm in a deer stage. I gotta get out
of that. So yeah, I work on that. Dear is
(01:09):
tough because I like it myself, but it also feels
like I'm descending. It's it's shady, it is. It does
give the proper auntie shade. Dear. Yeah, I like a
sweetie because the sweetie is kind of like a It's
it's kind of shady, but it's like, I love you, baby,
but you need to serve this little bit of shade. Okay, sweetie,
(01:30):
we have that we can do these things. Yes, I'm
a darling. I like darling. What's up, darl That sounds
like you? Darling. Darling is like all of our words
are us like as a deer. I'm definitely a sweetie.
(01:52):
You're definitely a darling. Listen here, darling, because I was
just saying that that darling sits on me right right.
So where in this process of raising a child, um,
we have gone through a multiple uh fool a five
(02:16):
six schools. I think that we've gone to like six
different schools in pre k till now. And um, the
reason for that is because it wasn't they weren't a
good fit. It just wasn't good. Understand. I was one
of those kids. Yeah, and I realized how important it
was that the school that my kid has been in
(02:38):
the majority of his time and should feel good to us. Yeah,
to us, not just me, to just him, but to
us as a unit. Right. That's some dope mommy ship
right there. I don't know if you'll know, but when
you when you start thinking about that, like mommy's that's
some dope mommy ship. I know because my mama thought
like that, saying, yeah, go ahead, appreciate it. Yeah for sure. Yeah,
(03:02):
I'm doing work in the summer times. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah,
I'm doing work in the summer times. Get this book,
Get into this work book, Sook. We're at this one
school and and now you know, Jet was um and
he was one of the only chocolate chips and in
the cookie chocolate chips, and they wanted to take him
on a trip to the plantation. Lord God sucks, creator
(03:28):
of all things. Lord God, I come to you today
as humbly as I know how. Keat me and hold
me so I don't walk up in here and set
a fire amongst this building. Lord, I thank you for
holding me and protecting me, so I don't kill everybody.
And this mother bird, by your bird, by your burn. Right. So,
(03:53):
of course we got out of that school because you know,
I was like, so, are you teaching these kids about slavery?
Is that what this is about. No, we're going to
teach them how hard the pioneers worked. I said, that's enough,
that's enough. We out. So we left that school and
we went to another school. And this school is more
diverse than I said. Okay, this looks like it's going
(04:14):
to be promising. Um, But there was this elitist attitude
that made me ill. It made Jet uncomfortable. It made
me ill, and I was just like, this is not
gonna work out either. So I had the privilege and
pleasure of meeting this sister. Okay, Um, her name is
(04:37):
Sharon Green, first of all, and she is the executive
director for Sisters Inspiring Sisters. It's known Assist Circles Incorporated. Um,
Sharon is a bad mother. Shut okay, w walka walker good.
First of all, she's gorgeous. Okay, that's that's a co
(04:58):
sign that I don't want to Anna try sign it.
I'm gonna try sign it. That's right. A truly quite startling,
you know when when you see this woman. But her
range of information is just she she introduced me to
schools that I didn't know existed. She introduced me to
a way of my son processing information that I just
(05:23):
thought was, well, who are you and how did you?
How does the world not have you? Ladies and gentlemen,
please miss Sharon Green. Ain't Sharon Hey? Isn't even a thing?
I'm like, is this even a thing? Sharing all around
the world or listen, what what So what do we
(05:45):
call somebody like you, Sharon, other than fairy god mother
and intuitive coach? Got to be more someone who comes
in and is passionate. So when I did, when I
I don't have a brick and water, I come in
your home and I stay with you, so you know,
(06:08):
I come in and I'm asking questions that really start
from the womb, right, And then it makes you go, oh, well,
they well, I guess that is a DNA thing. Huh,
it's not a jet thing. It's not a well. I
have three sons, a zeky Way or Californi or yend
Day cal found I love what. I'm sorry, person's name
(06:33):
zeke Way, cal Funny yes, and end Day I don't know.
And well one is a d C actually, and all
the people the blackest name they love. I love it.
And so the thing for me is about how do
(06:58):
we um how do we parent to passion and purpose
right as opposed to what we want we want. We
want our children to be saved, we want them to
be brave, we want them to be self sufficient, But
how are we showing up in our homes and modeling
that way right? And so we think school is supposed
to do it. No, school is just a place to
(07:21):
socialize and really to learn how to navigate in the world. Right,
So when we go in as black parents and we're like, well,
you're not reading this and you're not doing that, but
what's in your home? So how are we demanding institutions
that ain't for us and buy us to do things
that we're supposed to do in our home? So that
becomes an ouch yeah right there, like like how y'all?
(07:43):
So then I started asking and they're like, oh, he
doesn't know how to do maths. I said, well, where
were you doing a math in that age group? And
and so what happened in teenage life? Well, okay, so
you don't think it's a DNA thing, right, Oh foll
disclosure My oldest one has bipolar. Just amazing. He's juicy.
He he pulls up. I love it that he's juicy
(08:07):
to you. Yeah, he's juicy. Love that. Yeah. And so
what what I say to my appearances is that we
are given what we're supposed to have, not for them,
but for us, and our role is to create these
safe and brave spaces. So when I went in to
(08:29):
that school, um, they were books up, lab um what
do they call it? The books? The attendance sheets and no, no, no,
I'm not here. I just need to see if you
like him, if you know him when you went to
his school. I'm sorry. So you're saying go to the
(08:50):
home now, I started the home. Okay, I go into
the school. I do this for all of mine. I
don't have a lot of clients, but I have of
clients that trust me. They ain't scared me, I ain't
scared them, and and we have those brave conversations. It's uncomfortable, right,
but I'm not there to make you comfortable because clearly
(09:13):
some stuff is going on in your house. How much
time do you spend at the home before you're like, okay,
let's move on to lots, lots, a couple of hours,
maybe a few days, depending on the house, because you
know the house got a lot going on. And so
in Jamaica, we have this thing called come see me
and come live with me is two different things. So
(09:34):
if I see you, I see you. But if I
come live with you, that's a whole game changer. Right.
You can't hide it. You can't, you don't and so
for me, I take it very personal and engaging. And
I know that there's a storm going on, and I
want to help understand that I can be the calm
(09:55):
of that, but that the child is not supposed to
get up in that nonsense of what we think is right.
And so you go to the school, right, and so
we have a student who's a D D or not
really of um showing up the way you want to
to reach the grades. And but then if they walk
in the classroom and you don't acknowledge them, and you
(10:18):
know that disheveled because they got their books all over
the place. But they're gonna say, oh, he doesn't do
his math. I said, but did you notice that he
didn't come in with his book bag? But I saw
that you touched the other child. I want you to
touch that child. Because we're all humans, right, and we
like what we like and we don't like we like.
And so teachers, it's a known fact, especially for black children,
(10:42):
that when a teacher engages with the student on a
social and emotional level, the child will perform better, more
real talk after the break. Come, so what do we
(11:09):
know about our kids? Right? We know that our kids
they're empathic, We they we just teach them how to
release them, not be intulitive to self. But they know.
You know, you have the little baby and you give
it to so and so, and the baby start crying, like, oh,
let's just let the baby cry. Oh no, no, no,
because your energy ain't right, go back, go back. You
(11:32):
don't everybody ain't for everybody. I used to it all
the time. Oh just let him cry it out. Oh no,
because that cry is telling me something that we have
to listen to. So, as I engaged with with Jet,
I'm just because of lifestyle and home and what was needed.
(11:53):
I had this really great epiphany. Right I'm sleeping and
I wake up because I dream about it. I dream
about it, right, I dream about these kids, like I
wake up this personal Hey, you need to make sure
that they're eating this and doing that. And you're like,
what it came to me. It just came to me.
(12:13):
So I said, Jill, you should homeschool night here just
a bit little louder sharing, Okay, she said, oh yeah,
she said, nair now here, No, not here. I didn't
want to home school. She said, work like actability. Yeah,
(12:40):
but it talks about stability and talks about nurturing, talks
about building confidence, right, and that's what he needed at
that time because they had broken him down so much.
He didn't know that he loved Mad. Of course, if
you're a brilliant musician like Jet, you gotta know Mad.
Mm hmmm. Like it makes sense right, Like it's in there.
(13:05):
That's the thing. It's it's already in there. It's a
matter of the pathway out. Now. I'm going to say
this that you know clearly you can hear um that
this was not an easy process. This was not an
easy process. Um. It was very humbling. Um. I got
(13:26):
called out a lot. Um. She gave me a whole
list of things to do. Um. Some of them have
been done, some of them are on their way, some
of them are thinking about your sharing, get out of
my face. But honestly, um, it was super beneficial when
(13:51):
when COVID happened, and guess what happened we ended up
home schooling anyway. Okay, right, yeah, we want to talking
about my journey. You already know Agent has six children,
oh you trust listen, I have My children have been
(14:19):
in every type of school, including home school. My children
have been to private school, public school, charter school, now college,
both a p w Y and an HBCU. I have
had a number of different experiences with different types of
schools in schooling, and still it's like you said, it's
(14:43):
like Jill said, it's such an ongoing learning process and
congratu to you on knowing to parent each child. That's
that's interesting though, that because what you were saying. What
I found so fascinating about what you were saying is
what it brought up in my mind is that because
this type of commitment is required for each individual child,
(15:07):
it highlights the massive failure or almost the huge the
ridiculous expectation that you could educate an entire population in
a single way, like even the thought. It brings light
to how ridiculous the thought of that even is, and
(15:28):
how the difference between educating a population and indoctrinating a
population that there's a huge difference between the two and
they become conflated to a degree. And that's just my opinion.
But part of what you're saying and this time, this
effort that you put into this child is I think
so clear, and it may feel a little overwhelming because
(15:51):
there's some parents who are going to listen to this
and think, how do I even have time, and so
it's not the resources and it's not the time, it's
the intention, Amen, And one time, what is the intention?
The intention is love? I mean, it really is just
(16:13):
that basic. You know. We we make it complicated because
we say, Okay, from zero to seven we do this,
and from eight to twelve we do this, and then
from twelve to eight teen you do this. But you know,
they're traumas and situations that happened in our lives, right
and the child gets stuck right there. All y'all a
(16:34):
in a stuck place from a particular thing that you
didn't yield. Then. So even though I'm fifty five, there's
some stuff that went on and maybe twelve emotionally showing
up like ma'am, ma'am, ma'am. Yes, First of all, what
you're not gonna do? Why these people can't see you
(16:54):
is dropped on this group that you're fifty five. This
this what you're not gonna do, lady and gentlemen. Yeah,
this is wisdom. I need you all to I need
you all to understand the melanin situation that I'm looking
at right now. It makes you feel so good to
be black. You're like I'm in her club. I don't
know if y'all know, but we're in the same club.
(17:16):
You don't understand this woman. Nobody's fifty five my own solf,
the moisturizer in which I use I'm gonna have to go,
I'm gonna have to go out on the side side,
talk about skin, self care, self care. And we're talking
three sons with three different personalities. What's the ages twenty six,
(17:41):
twenty four and twenty ship. Yeah, they just got that ship.
She's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. He to you, guys, this
(18:02):
is a She told me about schools that I had
never heard about. Okay, schools that I never heard about.
The places in the United States that I have never
heard about. Well, I was getting there. I was getting there,
and it made me go, oh snap, because there were
places that we're specifically designed for a child like my own.
(18:27):
This is a very creative person. He loves to have
conversation and that is the best way for Jett to learn.
But I didn't know that. Then. I'm thinking sit in
the classroom because that's what we're taught that it's supposed
to be a beach. You know, that's not Jett is
uh what was his joint UM, A, B C, the E, F,
(18:50):
G H I. It was the people. What are the
like the school categories these days? Like I know Monty,
I remember Monastory was like the new high ship. So
(19:11):
like are there like ways? So you have public and
then within the public you have different types of public.
You have the charter schools, you have the independent schools,
and then you have UM public schools that are run
by the state or the city dependent on state live
(19:32):
and then you have UH private schools UM and so
some of it becomes around money to how you receive money.
So then you have private schools that are independent, private
schools that receive no state funding. It's all their own.
And then you have private schools UH day schools, you
know the big schools that people talk about. And then
(19:52):
you have boarding schools. And then within those all of
those categories, they're ones that have specialty. So you might
have a STEM public school, could have an arts public school.
You could have a school for students who are have
a d h D, dyslexia or severe learning disabilities that
UM parents can't really support them and so they might
(20:16):
be at a boarding school that can do that and
so they start. You could have ages probably four years
old all the way up to UM what they call
post grad PG year. And so those would be students
who are not ready to go to high school to
college yet, but they are UM in high school. A
(20:41):
lot of prefoolish board school Yeah, a lot of prep
schools do that, uh, where you can go for an
additional year. Then also in the boarding school systems, UM,
they have a little leeway with aged availability. So you
have your junior boarding schools and then you have your
secondary boarding schools, and the secondary goes up to age
(21:04):
twenty for especially for international UM students who come to
America and need to learn English as a second language. UM.
And so for me, it's about the best fit. And
that's why I go into the homes, and it's a
very personal assessment. You know, I sit down with parents
or parents UM and all that are our party too,
(21:29):
having a conversation and are the decision makers. And so
when I went into Jail's home, you know, already had
privy to some information and I had some kind of
idea of what I wanted. UM. So I always know
it's a carpet, right, I know the flooring solid. The
parents just think they don't know you know, like I'm
coming and I'm already coming in understanding right here, I
(21:53):
just what color do you want? And then we go
from there, and I already know it's gonna be a
shade of blue. But you know, I just figured let
them feel like they're making apart and make that decision, right,
because that's what you that's what you're hired me for now,
because I was going to you without giving away you
(22:14):
know everything, because obviously, even just like that, you clearly
you are invested in a process. So that's important to understand.
The process is just as important as anything else. That's
the less where the lessons are learned comes. Are there
some things like maybe I hate to even say this,
like two or three things that parents can kind of
keep in mind if they have to kind of sit
(22:36):
with some of these moments for themselves and how to
start this process for themselves. So it's different for every
age right between zero and five, they're supposed to just play.
Who cares if they read? Right? If you're reading to them, seriously,
all all jumpses out. If you read to your child
(23:00):
every day, every day, it is shown, research is shown
that that child will read whether they start reading at
eighteen months or age two. My youngest didn't start talking
till he was too Everybody was like, oh lord, he
go get the speech class. And then the first thing
(23:22):
he asked was he has his grandmother, so what's up
with your nasdad? Was? What's your stocks? Like, I'm sorry,
that's the first thing he asked because she wasn't she
was in retirement mode, right, And all he kept here
was so we fail. He said what he said, and
so the thing for him was he didn't really feel
like talking and he's not a talker, so we can't
(23:46):
put on. And then elementary school they are just it's
foundational time. So they're learning facts and they're given everything
and you just give. They're just sponging, they're just pulling
it all in. So you gotta be careful what you say.
(24:07):
And when you go to schools, you're not going to
the schools with the joneses. You're looking for mission and
vision statements of the school that matches the value system
of your home. And so when you do that, then
there's there's no discussion. Right, the value system of your home,
(24:27):
what's your mission? And the home doesn't match to school.
So now you're not caught up the first of all,
for some people, it's about do you even have a
mission in your home? What is your actual man? Somebody
start asking I've kind a question. That's another that's another
podcast conversation. So this this to data had me running,
(24:50):
y'all today has me running the day when you do
the mission edition. So for the to answer your question,
this is the parent when you're looking for schools, not
what it looks like, what it feels like, mhm is
their love. It's the mission. Yeah, and and andnybody's made
(25:11):
that mistake. Yeah, me too, and fantastically because you really
want them in a safe space. And what we're conditioned
about is how it looks as opposed to how it feels. Well,
that's how a lot of these charters get over. They
build them their brand new. You don't want them in
the old two d year old you know school down
(25:33):
the street. You want them in a nice, shiny, brand
new thing with the with the matt everybody got on
the match and jackets with the patches on the front.
No no, no, no, shade to the patches and jackets.
I'm not none, but you know what, so if you
like uniforms, right, that's the thing it's easy. You're financially affordable, right,
so you know, it's the thing. Once tastes good, that's
(25:57):
the thing. So people don't dismiss that when I look
at when I asked the kids what you like and
they say, oh, the lunch was good. I said, okay,
that works for me. Parents like, oh lord, what you mean?
I said, it works for me because if you're happy,
if the child is happy, then everything else is workable.
Right and then and then the other pieces is don't
(26:19):
put them in situations where you know that you can't
be accountable asn't a parent to make it happen. So
I e, if it's time, if everybody in the school
picks up their kid at three o'clock, you can't be
picking a kid up at six o'clock send them to
another school because it creates ants in the child. They're
(26:40):
there by themselves, they don't know. And so then when
they become teenagers, see, we don't really we're thinking about, well,
I gotta work and I gotta do this, okay, But
there are schools where the culture is after school programs
or support or things of that nature. But if everybody's
picking up at three o'clock and you know you can't
(27:00):
get to the six that's not on a child. We're
gonna take a quick break and then we'll be right back, Sharon,
I want you to talk about At some point, she
(27:22):
was she was suggesting boarding school. Someone suggested that to
me too, And it's a girlfriend that listens to the
podcast every week, so I really want you to listen
to to talk about this. I had my mother take
me to Madeira. I was like, take me to Madeira.
I want to see a tour. I want to go
to Halting Arms. I wanted to know about I was
ready so so BOYD school isn't for everybody, right, but
(27:47):
there are different reasons why I believe students should go
to boarding school. And again it's based on my assessment.
The reason why I was really horning and I even
since text not too long ago, I said he still
interested it for school. She was like, I'm good. It's
a it's a compliment to Jet though, isn't it. In
(28:09):
a way it really is. We're getting what we need,
sharing and very well. And VI, I'm I'm so so proud.
I like crying and tears of this. Me too. He
didn't want to go to boarding school. He didn't you know,
I'm already a traveling mom, So that's not really what
(28:30):
he wanted to do. And well, one and one of
the reasons why I was interested in boarding school is
because you're a traveling mom. And what happens is is
that the timing is so perfect, Like every six weeks
there's a clockwork, right, so literally by time you miss
your child, you see them, and you see them for
(28:52):
a weekend, a long weekend. They also have long breaks. Um.
It creates a level of independence that is needed when
you are a parent who travels a lot, right, and
then the trust and responsibility it really speeds out a
lot quicker in that regards. Then there's also the worldview.
(29:14):
Boarding schools are international. Children are from all over the world.
They're like minds. It also supports uh engagement of having
conversations and learning about things in a different way. And
so when you're in certain states of America, you know,
(29:34):
we don't get that all the time. And and the
diversity not just of race, but culture and ethnicity. I
knew that was important, you know, to you, And so
that was one of the reasons why I suggested. Another
reason why I suggest uh I have suggested in the
past is based on the student's intellect and need to
(29:58):
move in a way that was a lot quicker than
what the other options were available for that particular student.
So I do look at that. And then also sometimes
it's about resource, right, because when you do go to
these institutions, they do make the resources available to students.
(30:19):
And if there is um some resource lack in communities
and the student is able to be able to go
into those places and and hang, I don't leave them.
I don't leave my students at all. And so you know,
it's important that they understand where they're going and why
(30:39):
they're going there, right, And I started that out with
my sons, and so I introduced boarding schools to all
my students as an option but not a requirement. And
and it's not that the parent is a bad parent.
It is really just an added to the to the
(30:59):
ability of the lifestyle, the mission, the vision, and the
values of the home. And um, so, no, he didn't
need to go to boarding school, but I thought that
it was important. And I've done this for other families
as well, to reel back, and homeschool allows that even
if it's just for a year. So we had this
(31:20):
thing called the pandemic, right, and it was a force.
There was a level of respect that came for teachers
and also an understanding of looking at your child like
how are you showing up now? What do I need
to do a little differently to engage with you in
a way. And then we have this whole thing with
social media, and so they were there. There are things
(31:42):
that I was saying to parents, you know, like let's
create safe and brave spaces for us to I love
this term brave spaces. I think we're all kind of
we're all familiar with safe spaces, but I would love
to hear more about what a brave space looks like.
A brave space is where you allow every individual in
(32:03):
that space to be able to speak without threat right,
and to learn that as they especially for children, as
they're learning resiliency and how to uh choose healthy choices
in their life that they can question in a way
(32:23):
that is authentic to their voice. And so no, it
doesn't have to be cursing, but it has to be
in a way that they are comfortable and that they
can be heard and then they can receive correction with love.
But the parent has to be so we I do
(32:44):
this thing called detachment Fridays. I got that from deepoc Chopra.
So every day is a day of a particular theme. Right,
so everything is possible. That means that there's no limit.
So Monday's everything is possible. So for the little kid,
is you just say, all right, what's possible today? Right?
You know, for a teenager you might say, so, what's
(33:08):
what's your agenda? What's what's possible for you? What are
you looking forward to in your life? What are your goals?
What are your things? And then the next day is
if you want something, give it every everything. There's always
one to give. But get you a pen of paper.
Hold on, let me write my theory. It's possible. Yeah,
(33:33):
everything is possible. So for little ones, grandchildren, children, you know,
there's just so what's possible? Like hot all about let's
run out in the rain. Okay? You know, teenagers, what's possible?
I don't know, Well, this could be possible, I okay?
Or you know, a real time you have that real time,
real talk about other stuff grown adults. Things that teenagers
(33:57):
think that they think it's possible, but they don't know
that consequences behind that. If you want something to give it.
That is, always give with a happy heart. Right, you
teach kids, oh share here you can have a peace
of mind after day and I ate it all and
licked all over, and they give it to you here,
(34:17):
you know, or remember that last French fry you look
all over so nobody else would take it like, well,
why don't you just get that French fride? Right? And
then the next one is when you make a choice,
you change the future. It's called karma. And then this
is the one my I love. We say, don't say no,
go with the flow. So everyone who has terrible tubes,
(34:40):
there's no such thing as terrible tudes, and there's no
such thing as well. I guess they do have annoying teenagers,
but you know when they come in, uh, don't say no,
just come with the flow. Just flow, so that way
you create peace, right, and that they are able to
feel except they have to feel accepted within themselves, but
where they feel accepted by others, well, I'm caring you
(35:04):
just how you know, don't say no, go with the flow.
Mm hmm. I love that. But I'm gonna tell you
right now, I'm black. I'm black, and I know that
for us black parents mothers and family. Mothers especially that
don't say no, go with the flow gets challenging. That
(35:28):
doesn't mean that you don't say no to things that
are dangerous, but even then, so there's a sweet spot
that I'm trying to find and if I can, if
I can bottle it, it'll be great what worked in
the old school, because we're forgetting where the y'all check
this out. That's right here, and everybody in our generation listening,
(35:49):
we're the last generation that understands what old school because
we're not transferring. Yeah, we've been having this conversation way
too much. Well, you know what I have to say
that is today I was cleaning my living My daughter
is one month into being a mother, one month bless her.
(36:11):
And I was going through the room and I said,
why is this here? And I had picked up something,
a cord or something that was on the floor and
she said, I told them to move that. I knew
you wouldn't like it. And then I went to something
else and I said, this shouldn't be like this. Y'all
need to get in this corner. Why are these things
(36:33):
being left downstairs? She's I told them not to do that.
I knew that that would be something you did not want.
And I think in a lot of ways. And I
want to go back to this because on the podcast
we talked about my daughter, who was fairly young. She's
twenty years old, she's become a mother, and there was
a little talk after the podcasts and comments and different
(36:55):
people who d m me since who talked about how
they support ordered at me in my support of her.
She lives in my home, we are every day talking
and communicating about her being a mother, and what you
just said just became very important to me because I
recognize she has an opportunity to learn mothering, to learn
(37:20):
her womanhood, and to experience it in real time at
the same time. And I'm grateful for this moment to
be able to pass these things onto her because these
are things my mother taught me. So I'm thinking of
what my mother, how she mothered I am mothering in
real time and also guiding and teaching my daughter to mother.
So this is really important and I want to bring
(37:43):
this up in this moment because we tend to push
aside our adult children so quickly out into the world
when they really need these moments to be in not
just conversation but in exist stints with us so that
they can watch, learn and soak in so many of
(38:05):
the very of the you know, the the nuanced things
that we are bringing from the old school, those things
that they remember. My daughter says to me the other day,
she saw mean and said, if your mother sweeps rugs,
don't mess with her. She's not to be played with
if you have a mother that sweeps rugs. And I
laughed because I most definitely sweep rugs. But I only
(38:27):
sweep rugs because my mother swept rugs. You know what
I mean. These are small things. These are small things,
but this is what I thought about when you said that.
I'm like, this is interesting, something that I think people
may have looked at me sideways for. I'm like, oh yeah,
y'all gonna swear and sit down. I'm gonna sit here
(38:48):
and allowed this child to really learn as much as
she possibly can because she needs to be able to
pass this to my granddaughter. This is gonna be important.
But you know, my these I'm writing these things down
from my grand baby because I'm a well you what
you're gonna transfer, right, So what we're as grandparents. I'm
not a grandparent yet, but it's that that's another stage
(39:09):
of transfers, right. So people said, well you didn't do
that for me, bo, Well you know, you now know,
so you're transfer right, and it's okay. It really is
just great. The other one I wanted to say is
every time you wish or one you plan to see,
so what you think is what is. What you think
(39:30):
is what is. And so we can't have any negative
conversations around our children, and we can't have them in
schools that are having negative conversations around them or directly
to them. And that was when That's one of the
reasons why I go into the schools. It's not about
the grades, it's how you addressing the child or the
young teenager. Are you are you hearing them? I have
(39:54):
to say, you know, I'm on the social media sometimes
and I'm noticing that a lot of parents are and
like cousin at their children. So a lot of that happening,
and and they're so little that they're little, tiny people,
and I don't that bothers me so much. I don't
(40:17):
you know, that's not my house, it's not my child,
but it is my child, and I don't like that.
I don't like that it's a responsibility that would just said,
oh no, you don't get don't do that, because that
what you plant is what grows words. It's come on
now talking to three major words. Smith right here, Come on, y'all,
(40:38):
what you say? What you here? So as you're in
schools and in homes and people live around, we have
to have braves. That's what a brave spaces. Oh No, Like,
I don't like the words shut up. That's violent to me.
That means that you're dismissing everything that my tone, my words,
(40:59):
my nunciation, Like you just totally there. Right, So you're
telling a child shut up? What did they do? So
if they hear that from a teacher, why would they perform?
And so if you don't go in to see what's
going on, No, and you can go into school and
here teachers correct with love. That is amazing. It's not
(41:22):
like they don't exist. You just have to be right
there to make it happen. Right, and then you wanna
be open to life and journey? Hey, what do you
want to do? Okay? You know one of the things
that we're seeing a lot of which is really beautiful,
is roles switching. Right, we don't have defining of gender roles.
And so you have daddy's brandon girls ears, the moms
(41:44):
playing basketball, football or you know, cooking and with their
sons and doing all kinds of stuff. So you know,
just be open to whatever life has, because the journey
is beautiful. It's raw, it's awful, it's painful, it's joyful,
it's fun. It's just all of that stuff. Right for
another Again, I always say full disclosure. I've talked on
(42:04):
other podcasts and so things that I'm saying now is
not things that I did not before. But my youngest
one UM learned compassion because I had breast cancer. He
used to stay in one room and I would be
shouting yeah about babe, and then finally he just was like,
you know, let me just stay in a bit because
(42:27):
he wanted to sleep, but I had to take my drugs,
so while I was throwing up or doing whatever. And
so I didn't find out till years later, well a
year later, when he wrote in his um essay to
college that you know, they were asking what is it,
you know, what was your responsibility? And he said to
take care of my mom and that he learned compassion.
(42:51):
I was like, oh, so life teaches you right, school
is life life to school. We can't separate them. UM,
So you've got to be open to the journey and
enjoy it. And then always tell your children that they
here for a reason. And so if you're parenting to
(43:13):
the purpose and passion of that child, then of course
you have to go. You have to be diligent and
intentional on choosing the schools. And so it's not about
the correction. It's not about the punishment of what the
school is doing. It's not about the accolades. It's like,
do you know my child? And and and that has
(43:33):
to be whether it's eleven hundred people in the school
or if it's five in the school. My child is
important and you need to know that. And so we
now you know different stages. You the child who's in
the foundational stage that they are UM, the elementary school
and then the middle school you're learning to UM help
(43:58):
them formulate questions. They always ask questions that the question
question questions and I don't know, they answer to look
it up. Right. We used to say look it up.
Now they say google it and so so so that
part right, we used to go get that the encyclopedias
and you'd be flipping through where's the answer? I don't
know see and the other pieces. You don't have to
(44:19):
be highly educated to educate your children. So a lot
of people say, oh, I can't host homeschool though I'm
not that smart. No, you. Here's countless stories of parents
back in the day who would read a calculus chapter
to go ahead and teach their kids calculus. You have
(44:40):
to make the time because even a new man looks
scared that something else. So in homeschooling, In homeschooling, um
this Jill, Look, there's so many Yeah, but there are
also so many resources for homes right, but ms chill,
did you learn some things that you have to relearn
to teach again? Oh? My god? Yeah? And it was painful.
(45:04):
I'm not I'm not gonna I'm not gonna lie to you.
The only reason why I stuck it out was I
stuck it out for him, you know. And then I've
got this annoying woman texting me and calling me and
holding me accountable all the time. Um, and it just
agitated my soul. Soide, not only did I want to
um enriched jet, but I also wanted to keep this
(45:27):
woman off my back. Math that's dope. Bless your new
math because I had the outsource. More conversation after the break.
(45:53):
Understand that Sharon Green is She's an academic consultant amongst
many many many other things. And the point and purpose
is to uplift and enrich um our children, to elevate
our children. Um, and not just the piece, but the
(46:15):
whole kid, the whole child. So it's not just their academics,
it's also their spirit. It's also their energy. Um. She's
very mindful of energy in those ways. So if you're
if you're looking for an a Jan levon zant of
educating your child, then you're looking for Sharon Green. So
(46:39):
are there are their Sharing Green counterparts throughout the country?
I know there're cis, but it's just do that is something.
Their Girls is a nonprofit that I have that I
work with girls and I help them in their social
emotional intelligence, really getting them U. Yeah. The the parent
coaching and life coach is really a passion of mine.
(47:02):
I learned um as I was doing my parenting thing.
You know, because you don't get it, you don't get directions,
you're one of a kind. Sharing I feel like you're
telling us that you may be one of the contact
I think I am. I think well, I think, well,
this is one thing I've noticed a lot of times
with people like Sharing Green. What's so important is that
we as the broader population have to start demanding that
(47:26):
people like Sharon Green and Sharon Green herself be the
person that gets the consulting contracts with the school district,
be the person who's the head of the school board.
Is that something you want? Though? So there's this there's
this thing about a licensing and accountability that I might
not be able to say certain things if I have those,
(47:47):
But there are there are abilities of consulting that I
think a lot of people are now. The pandemic was
a beautiful thing, ladies, because it really allows people to
look at who they're being and how they're showing up.
And in education we're seeing gaps, and those gaps that
we're looking at, especially for our children, we haven't even
(48:09):
seen the beginning of it. So understand that our children
were not in school to identify who they were becoming
and being for two and a half years some three
and so there's some social emotional intelligence issues that are
coming about. And if you didn't have it, so school
(48:30):
was also a safe payment for our children. Teachers were
missing the kids as well as the students were missing
the environments that they were in right, real time, real talk,
because homes ain't always what they think they should be.
And this is not just for elementary school, it's all
way up to college, you know. So so people didn't
have safe spaces to be and they used schools as
(48:53):
a safe payment. And so we have to understand that,
you know, these teachers are doing so they're doing everything right.
So they're not maybe sharing green because they're a teacher,
but they have toiletries, they have food, they have you know,
lunch money, they have emergency money, they got closed, they
got all kinds of stuff going on outside of just
(49:14):
trying to do the academics right. And so I just
want to say that we're blessed that if you can't
afford to to homeschool, and I don't mean financially, I'm
talking about spiritually and emotionally, because we all can afford it.
We just have to do without some things. Right. We
might not have to have that bag, but or that car,
(49:40):
or go on that trip, but we you know, all
three yes. And then they went on to go to
Excelsior and U. Yeah they went to some so I have, Yeah,
they have when they went to HBC. But they all
went to pretty top schools in the nation, in the world.
And with the U, I'm curious, Howard, Okay, of course
(50:04):
I went. I went to Yeah, no, because because the
h U is a serious thing. Now, I respected, I respected.
I would love it. I love it. But I just
want to say that, you know, we all have our path.
Everyone can't home school, everyone can't go to private school,
(50:25):
everyone can't go to boarding school. But what everybody can
do is love. And what everybody can do is be
intentional about supporting their child and advocating for their child.
So you don't go into school like you go in advocating. Okay, so, yes,
there's a problem here. What resources do you have available?
(50:46):
Mm hmmm. I love the smile after and that's what
I do. And and and if you don't have the resources,
I'm sure there's someone on your board where there's maybe
some volunteers in your school that can help, right, Yes, absolutely,
I watched this woman disarmed every teacher, principal, city councilman.
(51:08):
It's it's it's not only the smile, it's the directness
of the information and the question that she's asking. Yeah. Intention,
She talked about intention in the very beginning. There's an
intention behind your eyes, your smile, everything, it's and it
is love. And love does not mean to not be direct. Fact,
(51:31):
to be love means exactly that to be direct, to
be clear, to have the right intention. If you if
you're beginning in with love, then it's not about the
other emotions that come in between, positive or negative. It
just is. But we can work it out because the
end goal is the child. Oh I love that. Do
you understand? Smile? See that's what it's like. The three
(51:53):
facets to that smile. One of them is you say
you got it, you got it? Yeah, yes, yes, Saron.
The other one is do you hear me? And then
the other one come on baby, just do it. I
want to throw that in there too real quick that that.
Sharon also has a lot of knowledge about UM grants
(52:18):
and UM assistance uh in in whatever kind of school
that you want your kid to go to. UM. So
imagine your page is full of like amazing, Oh okay,
oh it is she she um. She definitely received emails
(52:40):
and we all are we all? Yeah, I told you
how old. I'm keeping you so clean, and that's all right,
you You're probably keeping yourself from headache. But I think,
I think really the blessing of you is you know,
layered and wide in this conversation as because you've really
(53:02):
kind of laid down a lot of information for everyone.
But I just want, I always want to circle back
to it because what you said about intention and about
love is so important because people do get caught up
in what they do not have access to, and I
think there's so much about a child who was loved.
When a child is loved and going out into the world,
(53:23):
there that is a different energy that you are putting
out there. That is a different, completely different thing. That
is that that that grows in a way that you
cannot even imagine, and and and continues to give back
to you in ways that you can't even you can't
even quantify it. It's a beautiful thing. So I feel
(53:44):
people should really really hear you on that. You know,
the rest of it are details and things I have
to do with your specific child, But that right there,
how does love show up? What does it look like?
You know? And that's my one right there that got
me running mean just just walk with it, run with it,
and love with it, you know, and give yourself grace
(54:06):
every day all day because we don't know. And it's
okay to say, I'm so sorry. I apologized to my
kids all the times. My bad, she does, because it's
it's just this is this, Oh, I apologize my kids
all the time. My mother apologized to me, my mom,
my mom. Look well, I remember, I remember my mama
(54:39):
getting fussed at by her friends, like what this is.
This is one of the many ways where we're uplifting
our little people. We've been blessed two be the portal
to be the beginning. You know, they're very big part
(54:59):
of their universe. And the goal, I always believe this
is the goal is to help them fly on their own.
And if if you send them out into the world
with love, they come back, they come right back to you,
and then they fly off again if you've done it right.
I think it is. Everybody doesn't fly at the same time,
(55:20):
and no north fly the same way. They do not,
and it's fine, and it's fine the same sky. It'll
be there when it takes a lot of pressure off
of you and your kids when and and a lot
of the pressure is really what makes I know pressure,
(55:43):
and sometimes it will make me anxious, you know, and
and anxiety is not a good feeling at all. And
the funny thing is when you peel it back, you
you realize that the voice that that voice of your
anxiety is the voice of that person that didn't honor
you and the way that you want people to honor
your child. That that voice, that thing that's talking to
(56:05):
you that got you all turned up, is that moment
that Sharon was talking about, that teacher that said that thing,
that adult that said that thing, and you hold it
and then you end up taking it right into the
conversation you're having with your own kids. And I refuse,
I'm not I'm gonna change that voice. I want to
(56:26):
make sure that that voice is one of my own
creation and not one of my trauma. Mr frank Levitt,
I I forgive you. That's oh, I don't forgive Mr
Tyson In high school and then told my friends not
to hang out with me. It wouldn't be smarter them.
I was, I'm sorry, I'm this whole conversation I was
(56:47):
thinking about Mr. Tyson, and I was like, you motherfucker,
And I got friends from my school to still hang
out with him and go every Christmas, they go to
dinner with his mother. I'm sorry, Mr Tyson. He was
my homeroom teacher, so you can't already know you can't
really do wrong to me because what happens to you
(57:11):
in return is never, never, never nice. It's never a
good thing. So he lost his tenure. He was accused
nice molesting a child. I don't know if any of
that part, that last part um was actual what happened
or not, but he was a very very mean man
(57:31):
and he definitely intended to kill my spirit or sure,
for sure, I think Tyson is alone. Nobody married him,
so yeah, but that it would have been nice, I
can't have to say it would have been nice to
have an advocate at that time. So, like Sharon Greene said,
definitely be an advocate for your children. If they're telling
(57:53):
you that a teacher is being mean to them, believed them,
Believe them and show up. And I'm not saying necessarily
have about your vassline and take off your earie. You
can say it. You can say it and smile, you
can be like, you can be like. There's a lot
of threat behind that smile right there. Yeah, share his goals,
(58:17):
but everybody ain't gonna make the goals. Just don't touch
nobody you can help. Yeah, you know, I just wanted
to say, be an advocate and not a helicopter. Okay, yeah,
yeah advocate. Thank you so much for being here with
(58:38):
us at j dot il the podcast. I really hope
that everyone within listening ears um, every parent, every auntie,
every grandma, grandpa. I hope that you have taken the
time to jot down some things. If you haven't refined,
listen to this podcast all over again. I can definitely
attest to share In's views and her practice as being helpful.
(59:04):
I see the benefit of my own parenting with this
with this child and my nephew, and I see the
benefit um for my son. And that's really what you want. Huh,
that's really what you want? Yeah? Yeah, thanks y'all. Thank you.
(59:26):
How do you eat an elephant? One by it? Kind
pain listeners, It's Amber, your fearless producer here. Ms. Sharon
is truly a gift that keeps on giving her energy
and her life. Just wow. We learned a lot about
(59:46):
educational choices from this conversation, but I know I still
have a lot of questions, and I imagine you do too,
so I'm going to leave you with some articles in
the show notes I give a deeper understanding of the
range of choices for you and your family. And if
you want to work with Sharon as an educational coach
or consultant, you can connect with her through her company,
(01:00:06):
bloom Tree Educational Services. I'll drop a link in the
show notes to her company as well. Happy Learning. Hi
if you have comments on something we said in this
(01:00:28):
episode called eight six six, Hey Jill, if you want
to add to this conversation, that's eight six six nine
five four five by don't forget to tell us your
name and the episode you're referring to. You might just
hear your message on a future episode. Thank you for
listening to Jill Scott presents Jay dot Ill. The podcast
(01:00:54):
Jay dot Ill is a production of I Heart Radio.
For more podcast from I Heart Radio, visit the I
Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to
your favorite shows.
Welcome to Jay dot il a production of I Heart
Radio Plus Up. Everybody, Welcome to Jay dot Ilga podcast.
It is always such a pleasure to have these kind
of conversations. I'm be with mine, my sister friends, Asia
Graydon Dandler. That would be me darling, and it is
(00:26):
her darling. I'm the fantastic, amazing and wonderful Layah sat
Claire President. I don't I don't want to use that
accent when I say Liah st Schel having a big
hat and smack pitches right, baby with a big fan. Honey,
(00:47):
she needs to be fanned at all times. And you
should say things like you have the audacity. You have
the audacity you have to call everybody sweetie. Yeah, right
now I'm in a deer stage. I gotta get out
of that. So yeah, I work on that. Dear is
(01:09):
tough because I like it myself, but it also feels
like I'm descending. It's it's shady, it is. It does
give the proper auntie shade. Dear. Yeah, I like a
sweetie because the sweetie is kind of like a It's
it's kind of shady, but it's like, I love you, baby,
but you need to serve this little bit of shade. Okay, sweetie,
(01:30):
we have that we can do these things. Yes, I'm
a darling. I like darling. What's up, darl That sounds
like you? Darling. Darling is like all of our words
are us like as a deer. I'm definitely a sweetie.
(01:52):
You're definitely a darling. Listen here, darling, because I was
just saying that that darling sits on me right right.
So where in this process of raising a child, um,
we have gone through a multiple uh fool a five
(02:16):
six schools. I think that we've gone to like six
different schools in pre k till now. And um, the
reason for that is because it wasn't they weren't a
good fit. It just wasn't good. Understand. I was one
of those kids. Yeah, and I realized how important it
was that the school that my kid has been in
(02:38):
the majority of his time and should feel good to us. Yeah,
to us, not just me, to just him, but to
us as a unit. Right. That's some dope mommy ship
right there. I don't know if you'll know, but when
you when you start thinking about that, like mommy's that's
some dope mommy ship. I know because my mama thought
like that, saying, yeah, go ahead, appreciate it. Yeah for sure. Yeah,
(03:02):
I'm doing work in the summer times. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah,
I'm doing work in the summer times. Get this book,
Get into this work book, Sook. We're at this one
school and and now you know, Jet was um and
he was one of the only chocolate chips and in
the cookie chocolate chips, and they wanted to take him
on a trip to the plantation. Lord God sucks, creator
(03:28):
of all things. Lord God, I come to you today
as humbly as I know how. Keat me and hold
me so I don't walk up in here and set
a fire amongst this building. Lord, I thank you for
holding me and protecting me, so I don't kill everybody.
And this mother bird, by your bird, by your burn. Right. So,
(03:53):
of course we got out of that school because you know,
I was like, so, are you teaching these kids about slavery?
Is that what this is about. No, we're going to
teach them how hard the pioneers worked. I said, that's enough,
that's enough. We out. So we left that school and
we went to another school. And this school is more
diverse than I said. Okay, this looks like it's going
(04:14):
to be promising. Um, But there was this elitist attitude
that made me ill. It made Jet uncomfortable. It made
me ill, and I was just like, this is not
gonna work out either. So I had the privilege and
pleasure of meeting this sister. Okay, Um, her name is
(04:37):
Sharon Green, first of all, and she is the executive
director for Sisters Inspiring Sisters. It's known Assist Circles Incorporated. Um,
Sharon is a bad mother. Shut okay, w walka walker good.
First of all, she's gorgeous. Okay, that's that's a co
(04:58):
sign that I don't want to Anna try sign it.
I'm gonna try sign it. That's right. A truly quite startling,
you know when when you see this woman. But her
range of information is just she she introduced me to
schools that I didn't know existed. She introduced me to
a way of my son processing information that I just
(05:23):
thought was, well, who are you and how did you?
How does the world not have you? Ladies and gentlemen,
please miss Sharon Green. Ain't Sharon Hey? Isn't even a thing?
I'm like, is this even a thing? Sharing all around
the world or listen, what what So what do we
(05:45):
call somebody like you, Sharon, other than fairy god mother
and intuitive coach? Got to be more someone who comes
in and is passionate. So when I did, when I
I don't have a brick and water, I come in
your home and I stay with you, so you know,
(06:08):
I come in and I'm asking questions that really start
from the womb, right, And then it makes you go, oh, well,
they well, I guess that is a DNA thing. Huh,
it's not a jet thing. It's not a well. I
have three sons, a zeky Way or Californi or yend
Day cal found I love what. I'm sorry, person's name
(06:33):
zeke Way, cal Funny yes, and end Day I don't know.
And well one is a d C actually, and all
the people the blackest name they love. I love it.
And so the thing for me is about how do
(06:58):
we um how do we parent to passion and purpose
right as opposed to what we want we want. We
want our children to be saved, we want them to
be brave, we want them to be self sufficient, But
how are we showing up in our homes and modeling
that way right? And so we think school is supposed
to do it. No, school is just a place to
(07:21):
socialize and really to learn how to navigate in the world. Right,
So when we go in as black parents and we're like, well,
you're not reading this and you're not doing that, but
what's in your home? So how are we demanding institutions
that ain't for us and buy us to do things
that we're supposed to do in our home? So that
becomes an ouch yeah right there, like like how y'all?
(07:43):
So then I started asking and they're like, oh, he
doesn't know how to do maths. I said, well, where
were you doing a math in that age group? And
and so what happened in teenage life? Well, okay, so
you don't think it's a DNA thing, right, Oh foll
disclosure My oldest one has bipolar. Just amazing. He's juicy.
He he pulls up. I love it that he's juicy
(08:07):
to you. Yeah, he's juicy. Love that. Yeah. And so
what what I say to my appearances is that we
are given what we're supposed to have, not for them,
but for us, and our role is to create these
safe and brave spaces. So when I went in to
(08:29):
that school, um, they were books up, lab um what
do they call it? The books? The attendance sheets and no, no, no,
I'm not here. I just need to see if you
like him, if you know him when you went to
his school. I'm sorry. So you're saying go to the
(08:50):
home now, I started the home. Okay, I go into
the school. I do this for all of mine. I
don't have a lot of clients, but I have of
clients that trust me. They ain't scared me, I ain't
scared them, and and we have those brave conversations. It's uncomfortable, right,
but I'm not there to make you comfortable because clearly
(09:13):
some stuff is going on in your house. How much
time do you spend at the home before you're like, okay,
let's move on to lots, lots, a couple of hours,
maybe a few days, depending on the house, because you
know the house got a lot going on. And so
in Jamaica, we have this thing called come see me
and come live with me is two different things. So
(09:34):
if I see you, I see you. But if I
come live with you, that's a whole game changer. Right.
You can't hide it. You can't, you don't and so
for me, I take it very personal and engaging. And
I know that there's a storm going on, and I
want to help understand that I can be the calm
(09:55):
of that, but that the child is not supposed to
get up in that nonsense of what we think is right.
And so you go to the school, right, and so
we have a student who's a D D or not
really of um showing up the way you want to
to reach the grades. And but then if they walk
in the classroom and you don't acknowledge them, and you
(10:18):
know that disheveled because they got their books all over
the place. But they're gonna say, oh, he doesn't do
his math. I said, but did you notice that he
didn't come in with his book bag? But I saw
that you touched the other child. I want you to
touch that child. Because we're all humans, right, and we
like what we like and we don't like we like.
And so teachers, it's a known fact, especially for black children,
(10:42):
that when a teacher engages with the student on a
social and emotional level, the child will perform better, more
real talk after the break. Come, so what do we
(11:09):
know about our kids? Right? We know that our kids
they're empathic, We they we just teach them how to
release them, not be intulitive to self. But they know.
You know, you have the little baby and you give
it to so and so, and the baby start crying, like, oh,
let's just let the baby cry. Oh no, no, no,
because your energy ain't right, go back, go back. You
(11:32):
don't everybody ain't for everybody. I used to it all
the time. Oh just let him cry it out. Oh no,
because that cry is telling me something that we have
to listen to. So, as I engaged with with Jet,
I'm just because of lifestyle and home and what was needed.
(11:53):
I had this really great epiphany. Right I'm sleeping and
I wake up because I dream about it. I dream
about it, right, I dream about these kids, like I
wake up this personal Hey, you need to make sure
that they're eating this and doing that. And you're like,
what it came to me. It just came to me.
(12:13):
So I said, Jill, you should homeschool night here just
a bit little louder sharing, Okay, she said, oh yeah,
she said, nair now here, No, not here. I didn't
want to home school. She said, work like actability. Yeah,
(12:40):
but it talks about stability and talks about nurturing, talks
about building confidence, right, and that's what he needed at
that time because they had broken him down so much.
He didn't know that he loved Mad. Of course, if
you're a brilliant musician like Jet, you gotta know Mad.
Mm hmmm. Like it makes sense right, Like it's in there.
(13:05):
That's the thing. It's it's already in there. It's a
matter of the pathway out. Now. I'm going to say
this that you know clearly you can hear um that
this was not an easy process. This was not an
easy process. Um. It was very humbling. Um. I got
(13:26):
called out a lot. Um. She gave me a whole
list of things to do. Um. Some of them have
been done, some of them are on their way, some
of them are thinking about your sharing, get out of
my face. But honestly, um, it was super beneficial when
(13:51):
when COVID happened, and guess what happened we ended up
home schooling anyway. Okay, right, yeah, we want to talking
about my journey. You already know Agent has six children,
oh you trust listen, I have My children have been
(14:19):
in every type of school, including home school. My children
have been to private school, public school, charter school, now college,
both a p w Y and an HBCU. I have
had a number of different experiences with different types of
schools in schooling, and still it's like you said, it's
(14:43):
like Jill said, it's such an ongoing learning process and
congratu to you on knowing to parent each child. That's
that's interesting though, that because what you were saying. What
I found so fascinating about what you were saying is
what it brought up in my mind is that because
this type of commitment is required for each individual child,
(15:07):
it highlights the massive failure or almost the huge the
ridiculous expectation that you could educate an entire population in
a single way, like even the thought. It brings light
to how ridiculous the thought of that even is, and
(15:28):
how the difference between educating a population and indoctrinating a
population that there's a huge difference between the two and
they become conflated to a degree. And that's just my opinion.
But part of what you're saying and this time, this
effort that you put into this child is I think
so clear, and it may feel a little overwhelming because
(15:51):
there's some parents who are going to listen to this
and think, how do I even have time, and so
it's not the resources and it's not the time, it's
the intention, Amen, And one time, what is the intention?
The intention is love? I mean, it really is just
(16:13):
that basic. You know. We we make it complicated because
we say, Okay, from zero to seven we do this,
and from eight to twelve we do this, and then
from twelve to eight teen you do this. But you know,
they're traumas and situations that happened in our lives, right
and the child gets stuck right there. All y'all a
(16:34):
in a stuck place from a particular thing that you
didn't yield. Then. So even though I'm fifty five, there's
some stuff that went on and maybe twelve emotionally showing
up like ma'am, ma'am, ma'am. Yes, First of all, what
you're not gonna do? Why these people can't see you
(16:54):
is dropped on this group that you're fifty five. This
this what you're not gonna do, lady and gentlemen. Yeah,
this is wisdom. I need you all to I need
you all to understand the melanin situation that I'm looking
at right now. It makes you feel so good to
be black. You're like I'm in her club. I don't
know if y'all know, but we're in the same club.
(17:16):
You don't understand this woman. Nobody's fifty five my own solf,
the moisturizer in which I use I'm gonna have to go,
I'm gonna have to go out on the side side,
talk about skin, self care, self care. And we're talking
three sons with three different personalities. What's the ages twenty six,
(17:41):
twenty four and twenty ship. Yeah, they just got that ship.
She's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. He to you, guys, this
(18:02):
is a She told me about schools that I had
never heard about. Okay, schools that I never heard about.
The places in the United States that I have never
heard about. Well, I was getting there. I was getting there,
and it made me go, oh snap, because there were
places that we're specifically designed for a child like my own.
(18:27):
This is a very creative person. He loves to have
conversation and that is the best way for Jett to learn.
But I didn't know that. Then. I'm thinking sit in
the classroom because that's what we're taught that it's supposed
to be a beach. You know, that's not Jett is
uh what was his joint UM, A, B C, the E, F,
(18:50):
G H I. It was the people. What are the
like the school categories these days? Like I know Monty,
I remember Monastory was like the new high ship. So
(19:11):
like are there like ways? So you have public and
then within the public you have different types of public.
You have the charter schools, you have the independent schools,
and then you have UM public schools that are run
by the state or the city dependent on state live
(19:32):
and then you have UH private schools UM and so
some of it becomes around money to how you receive money.
So then you have private schools that are independent, private
schools that receive no state funding. It's all their own.
And then you have private schools UH day schools, you
know the big schools that people talk about. And then
(19:52):
you have boarding schools. And then within those all of
those categories, they're ones that have specialty. So you might
have a STEM public school, could have an arts public school.
You could have a school for students who are have
a d h D, dyslexia or severe learning disabilities that
UM parents can't really support them and so they might
(20:16):
be at a boarding school that can do that and
so they start. You could have ages probably four years
old all the way up to UM what they call
post grad PG year. And so those would be students
who are not ready to go to high school to
college yet, but they are UM in high school. A
(20:41):
lot of prefoolish board school Yeah, a lot of prep
schools do that, uh, where you can go for an
additional year. Then also in the boarding school systems, UM,
they have a little leeway with aged availability. So you
have your junior boarding schools and then you have your
secondary boarding schools, and the secondary goes up to age
(21:04):
twenty for especially for international UM students who come to
America and need to learn English as a second language. UM.
And so for me, it's about the best fit. And
that's why I go into the homes, and it's a
very personal assessment. You know, I sit down with parents
or parents UM and all that are our party too,
(21:29):
having a conversation and are the decision makers. And so
when I went into Jail's home, you know, already had
privy to some information and I had some kind of
idea of what I wanted. UM. So I always know
it's a carpet, right, I know the flooring solid. The
parents just think they don't know you know, like I'm
coming and I'm already coming in understanding right here, I
(21:53):
just what color do you want? And then we go
from there, and I already know it's gonna be a
shade of blue. But you know, I just figured let
them feel like they're making apart and make that decision, right,
because that's what you that's what you're hired me for now,
because I was going to you without giving away you
(22:14):
know everything, because obviously, even just like that, you clearly
you are invested in a process. So that's important to understand.
The process is just as important as anything else. That's
the less where the lessons are learned comes. Are there
some things like maybe I hate to even say this,
like two or three things that parents can kind of
keep in mind if they have to kind of sit
(22:36):
with some of these moments for themselves and how to
start this process for themselves. So it's different for every
age right between zero and five, they're supposed to just play.
Who cares if they read? Right? If you're reading to them, seriously,
all all jumpses out. If you read to your child
(23:00):
every day, every day, it is shown, research is shown
that that child will read whether they start reading at
eighteen months or age two. My youngest didn't start talking
till he was too Everybody was like, oh lord, he
go get the speech class. And then the first thing
(23:22):
he asked was he has his grandmother, so what's up
with your nasdad? Was? What's your stocks? Like, I'm sorry,
that's the first thing he asked because she wasn't she
was in retirement mode, right, And all he kept here
was so we fail. He said what he said, and
so the thing for him was he didn't really feel
like talking and he's not a talker, so we can't
(23:46):
put on. And then elementary school they are just it's
foundational time. So they're learning facts and they're given everything
and you just give. They're just sponging, they're just pulling
it all in. So you gotta be careful what you say.
(24:07):
And when you go to schools, you're not going to
the schools with the joneses. You're looking for mission and
vision statements of the school that matches the value system
of your home. And so when you do that, then
there's there's no discussion. Right, the value system of your home,
(24:27):
what's your mission? And the home doesn't match to school.
So now you're not caught up the first of all,
for some people, it's about do you even have a
mission in your home? What is your actual man? Somebody
start asking I've kind a question. That's another that's another
podcast conversation. So this this to data had me running,
(24:50):
y'all today has me running the day when you do
the mission edition. So for the to answer your question,
this is the parent when you're looking for schools, not
what it looks like, what it feels like, mhm is
their love. It's the mission. Yeah, and and andnybody's made
(25:11):
that mistake. Yeah, me too, and fantastically because you really
want them in a safe space. And what we're conditioned
about is how it looks as opposed to how it feels. Well,
that's how a lot of these charters get over. They
build them their brand new. You don't want them in
the old two d year old you know school down
(25:33):
the street. You want them in a nice, shiny, brand
new thing with the with the matt everybody got on
the match and jackets with the patches on the front.
No no, no, no, shade to the patches and jackets.
I'm not none, but you know what, so if you
like uniforms, right, that's the thing it's easy. You're financially affordable, right,
so you know, it's the thing. Once tastes good, that's
(25:57):
the thing. So people don't dismiss that when I look
at when I asked the kids what you like and
they say, oh, the lunch was good. I said, okay,
that works for me. Parents like, oh lord, what you mean?
I said, it works for me because if you're happy,
if the child is happy, then everything else is workable.
Right and then and then the other pieces is don't
(26:19):
put them in situations where you know that you can't
be accountable asn't a parent to make it happen. So
I e, if it's time, if everybody in the school
picks up their kid at three o'clock, you can't be
picking a kid up at six o'clock send them to
another school because it creates ants in the child. They're
(26:40):
there by themselves, they don't know. And so then when
they become teenagers, see, we don't really we're thinking about, well,
I gotta work and I gotta do this, okay, But
there are schools where the culture is after school programs
or support or things of that nature. But if everybody's
picking up at three o'clock and you know you can't
(27:00):
get to the six that's not on a child. We're
gonna take a quick break and then we'll be right back, Sharon,
I want you to talk about At some point, she
(27:22):
was she was suggesting boarding school. Someone suggested that to
me too, And it's a girlfriend that listens to the
podcast every week, so I really want you to listen
to to talk about this. I had my mother take
me to Madeira. I was like, take me to Madeira.
I want to see a tour. I want to go
to Halting Arms. I wanted to know about I was
ready so so BOYD school isn't for everybody, right, but
(27:47):
there are different reasons why I believe students should go
to boarding school. And again it's based on my assessment.
The reason why I was really horning and I even
since text not too long ago, I said he still
interested it for school. She was like, I'm good. It's
a it's a compliment to Jet though, isn't it. In
(28:09):
a way it really is. We're getting what we need,
sharing and very well. And VI, I'm I'm so so proud.
I like crying and tears of this. Me too. He
didn't want to go to boarding school. He didn't you know,
I'm already a traveling mom, So that's not really what
(28:30):
he wanted to do. And well, one and one of
the reasons why I was interested in boarding school is
because you're a traveling mom. And what happens is is
that the timing is so perfect, Like every six weeks
there's a clockwork, right, so literally by time you miss
your child, you see them, and you see them for
(28:52):
a weekend, a long weekend. They also have long breaks. Um.
It creates a level of independence that is needed when
you are a parent who travels a lot, right, and
then the trust and responsibility it really speeds out a
lot quicker in that regards. Then there's also the worldview.
(29:14):
Boarding schools are international. Children are from all over the world.
They're like minds. It also supports uh engagement of having
conversations and learning about things in a different way. And
so when you're in certain states of America, you know,
(29:34):
we don't get that all the time. And and the
diversity not just of race, but culture and ethnicity. I
knew that was important, you know, to you, And so
that was one of the reasons why I suggested. Another
reason why I suggest uh I have suggested in the
past is based on the student's intellect and need to
(29:58):
move in a way that was a lot quicker than
what the other options were available for that particular student.
So I do look at that. And then also sometimes
it's about resource, right, because when you do go to
these institutions, they do make the resources available to students.
(30:19):
And if there is um some resource lack in communities
and the student is able to be able to go
into those places and and hang, I don't leave them.
I don't leave my students at all. And so you know,
it's important that they understand where they're going and why
(30:39):
they're going there, right, And I started that out with
my sons, and so I introduced boarding schools to all
my students as an option but not a requirement. And
and it's not that the parent is a bad parent.
It is really just an added to the to the
(30:59):
ability of the lifestyle, the mission, the vision, and the
values of the home. And um, so, no, he didn't
need to go to boarding school, but I thought that
it was important. And I've done this for other families
as well, to reel back, and homeschool allows that even
if it's just for a year. So we had this
(31:20):
thing called the pandemic, right, and it was a force.
There was a level of respect that came for teachers
and also an understanding of looking at your child like
how are you showing up now? What do I need
to do a little differently to engage with you in
a way. And then we have this whole thing with
social media, and so they were there. There are things
(31:42):
that I was saying to parents, you know, like let's
create safe and brave spaces for us to I love
this term brave spaces. I think we're all kind of
we're all familiar with safe spaces, but I would love
to hear more about what a brave space looks like.
A brave space is where you allow every individual in
(32:03):
that space to be able to speak without threat right,
and to learn that as they especially for children, as
they're learning resiliency and how to uh choose healthy choices
in their life that they can question in a way
(32:23):
that is authentic to their voice. And so no, it
doesn't have to be cursing, but it has to be
in a way that they are comfortable and that they
can be heard and then they can receive correction with love.
But the parent has to be so we I do
(32:44):
this thing called detachment Fridays. I got that from deepoc Chopra.
So every day is a day of a particular theme. Right,
so everything is possible. That means that there's no limit.
So Monday's everything is possible. So for the little kid,
is you just say, all right, what's possible today? Right?
You know, for a teenager you might say, so, what's
(33:08):
what's your agenda? What's what's possible for you? What are
you looking forward to in your life? What are your goals?
What are your things? And then the next day is
if you want something, give it every everything. There's always
one to give. But get you a pen of paper.
Hold on, let me write my theory. It's possible. Yeah,
(33:33):
everything is possible. So for little ones, grandchildren, children, you know,
there's just so what's possible? Like hot all about let's
run out in the rain. Okay? You know, teenagers, what's possible?
I don't know, Well, this could be possible, I okay?
Or you know, a real time you have that real time,
real talk about other stuff grown adults. Things that teenagers
(33:57):
think that they think it's possible, but they don't know
that consequences behind that. If you want something to give it.
That is, always give with a happy heart. Right, you
teach kids, oh share here you can have a peace
of mind after day and I ate it all and
licked all over, and they give it to you here,
(34:17):
you know, or remember that last French fry you look
all over so nobody else would take it like, well,
why don't you just get that French fride? Right? And
then the next one is when you make a choice,
you change the future. It's called karma. And then this
is the one my I love. We say, don't say no,
go with the flow. So everyone who has terrible tubes,
(34:40):
there's no such thing as terrible tudes, and there's no
such thing as well. I guess they do have annoying teenagers,
but you know when they come in, uh, don't say no,
just come with the flow. Just flow, so that way
you create peace, right, and that they are able to
feel except they have to feel accepted within themselves, but
where they feel accepted by others, well, I'm caring you
(35:04):
just how you know, don't say no, go with the flow.
Mm hmm. I love that. But I'm gonna tell you
right now, I'm black. I'm black, and I know that
for us black parents mothers and family. Mothers especially that
don't say no, go with the flow gets challenging. That
(35:28):
doesn't mean that you don't say no to things that
are dangerous, but even then, so there's a sweet spot
that I'm trying to find and if I can, if
I can bottle it, it'll be great what worked in
the old school, because we're forgetting where the y'all check
this out. That's right here, and everybody in our generation listening,
(35:49):
we're the last generation that understands what old school because
we're not transferring. Yeah, we've been having this conversation way
too much. Well, you know what I have to say
that is today I was cleaning my living My daughter
is one month into being a mother, one month bless her.
(36:11):
And I was going through the room and I said,
why is this here? And I had picked up something,
a cord or something that was on the floor and
she said, I told them to move that. I knew
you wouldn't like it. And then I went to something
else and I said, this shouldn't be like this. Y'all
need to get in this corner. Why are these things
(36:33):
being left downstairs? She's I told them not to do that.
I knew that that would be something you did not want.
And I think in a lot of ways. And I
want to go back to this because on the podcast
we talked about my daughter, who was fairly young. She's
twenty years old, she's become a mother, and there was
a little talk after the podcasts and comments and different
(36:55):
people who d m me since who talked about how
they support ordered at me in my support of her.
She lives in my home, we are every day talking
and communicating about her being a mother, and what you
just said just became very important to me because I
recognize she has an opportunity to learn mothering, to learn
(37:20):
her womanhood, and to experience it in real time at
the same time. And I'm grateful for this moment to
be able to pass these things onto her because these
are things my mother taught me. So I'm thinking of
what my mother, how she mothered I am mothering in
real time and also guiding and teaching my daughter to mother.
So this is really important and I want to bring
(37:43):
this up in this moment because we tend to push
aside our adult children so quickly out into the world
when they really need these moments to be in not
just conversation but in exist stints with us so that
they can watch, learn and soak in so many of
(38:05):
the very of the you know, the the nuanced things
that we are bringing from the old school, those things
that they remember. My daughter says to me the other day,
she saw mean and said, if your mother sweeps rugs,
don't mess with her. She's not to be played with
if you have a mother that sweeps rugs. And I
laughed because I most definitely sweep rugs. But I only
(38:27):
sweep rugs because my mother swept rugs. You know what
I mean. These are small things. These are small things,
but this is what I thought about when you said that.
I'm like, this is interesting, something that I think people
may have looked at me sideways for. I'm like, oh yeah,
y'all gonna swear and sit down. I'm gonna sit here
(38:48):
and allowed this child to really learn as much as
she possibly can because she needs to be able to
pass this to my granddaughter. This is gonna be important.
But you know, my these I'm writing these things down
from my grand baby because I'm a well you what
you're gonna transfer, right, So what we're as grandparents. I'm
not a grandparent yet, but it's that that's another stage
(39:09):
of transfers, right. So people said, well you didn't do
that for me, bo, Well you know, you now know,
so you're transfer right, and it's okay. It really is
just great. The other one I wanted to say is
every time you wish or one you plan to see,
so what you think is what is. What you think
(39:30):
is what is. And so we can't have any negative
conversations around our children, and we can't have them in
schools that are having negative conversations around them or directly
to them. And that was when That's one of the
reasons why I go into the schools. It's not about
the grades, it's how you addressing the child or the
young teenager. Are you are you hearing them? I have
(39:54):
to say, you know, I'm on the social media sometimes
and I'm noticing that a lot of parents are and
like cousin at their children. So a lot of that happening,
and and they're so little that they're little, tiny people,
and I don't that bothers me so much. I don't
(40:17):
you know, that's not my house, it's not my child,
but it is my child, and I don't like that.
I don't like that it's a responsibility that would just said,
oh no, you don't get don't do that, because that
what you plant is what grows words. It's come on
now talking to three major words. Smith right here, Come on, y'all,
(40:38):
what you say? What you here? So as you're in
schools and in homes and people live around, we have
to have braves. That's what a brave spaces. Oh No, Like,
I don't like the words shut up. That's violent to me.
That means that you're dismissing everything that my tone, my words,
(40:59):
my nunciation, Like you just totally there. Right, So you're
telling a child shut up? What did they do? So
if they hear that from a teacher, why would they perform?
And so if you don't go in to see what's
going on, No, and you can go into school and
here teachers correct with love. That is amazing. It's not
(41:22):
like they don't exist. You just have to be right
there to make it happen. Right, and then you wanna
be open to life and journey? Hey, what do you
want to do? Okay? You know one of the things
that we're seeing a lot of which is really beautiful,
is roles switching. Right, we don't have defining of gender roles.
And so you have daddy's brandon girls ears, the moms
(41:44):
playing basketball, football or you know, cooking and with their
sons and doing all kinds of stuff. So you know,
just be open to whatever life has, because the journey
is beautiful. It's raw, it's awful, it's painful, it's joyful,
it's fun. It's just all of that stuff. Right for
another Again, I always say full disclosure. I've talked on
(42:04):
other podcasts and so things that I'm saying now is
not things that I did not before. But my youngest
one UM learned compassion because I had breast cancer. He
used to stay in one room and I would be
shouting yeah about babe, and then finally he just was like,
you know, let me just stay in a bit because
(42:27):
he wanted to sleep, but I had to take my drugs,
so while I was throwing up or doing whatever. And
so I didn't find out till years later, well a
year later, when he wrote in his um essay to
college that you know, they were asking what is it,
you know, what was your responsibility? And he said to
take care of my mom and that he learned compassion.
(42:51):
I was like, oh, so life teaches you right, school
is life life to school. We can't separate them. UM,
So you've got to be open to the journey and
enjoy it. And then always tell your children that they
here for a reason. And so if you're parenting to
(43:13):
the purpose and passion of that child, then of course
you have to go. You have to be diligent and
intentional on choosing the schools. And so it's not about
the correction. It's not about the punishment of what the
school is doing. It's not about the accolades. It's like,
do you know my child? And and and that has
(43:33):
to be whether it's eleven hundred people in the school
or if it's five in the school. My child is
important and you need to know that. And so we
now you know different stages. You the child who's in
the foundational stage that they are UM, the elementary school
and then the middle school you're learning to UM help
(43:58):
them formulate questions. They always ask questions that the question
question questions and I don't know, they answer to look
it up. Right. We used to say look it up.
Now they say google it and so so so that
part right, we used to go get that the encyclopedias
and you'd be flipping through where's the answer? I don't
know see and the other pieces. You don't have to
(44:19):
be highly educated to educate your children. So a lot
of people say, oh, I can't host homeschool though I'm
not that smart. No, you. Here's countless stories of parents
back in the day who would read a calculus chapter
to go ahead and teach their kids calculus. You have
(44:40):
to make the time because even a new man looks
scared that something else. So in homeschooling, In homeschooling, um
this Jill, Look, there's so many Yeah, but there are
also so many resources for homes right, but ms chill,
did you learn some things that you have to relearn
to teach again? Oh? My god? Yeah? And it was painful.
(45:04):
I'm not I'm not gonna I'm not gonna lie to you.
The only reason why I stuck it out was I
stuck it out for him, you know. And then I've
got this annoying woman texting me and calling me and
holding me accountable all the time. Um, and it just
agitated my soul. Soide, not only did I want to
um enriched jet, but I also wanted to keep this
(45:27):
woman off my back. Math that's dope. Bless your new
math because I had the outsource. More conversation after the break.
(45:53):
Understand that Sharon Green is She's an academic consultant amongst
many many many other things. And the point and purpose
is to uplift and enrich um our children, to elevate
our children. Um, and not just the piece, but the
(46:15):
whole kid, the whole child. So it's not just their academics,
it's also their spirit. It's also their energy. Um. She's
very mindful of energy in those ways. So if you're
if you're looking for an a Jan levon zant of
educating your child, then you're looking for Sharon Green. So
(46:39):
are there are their Sharing Green counterparts throughout the country?
I know there're cis, but it's just do that is something.
Their Girls is a nonprofit that I have that I
work with girls and I help them in their social
emotional intelligence, really getting them U. Yeah. The the parent
coaching and life coach is really a passion of mine.
(47:02):
I learned um as I was doing my parenting thing.
You know, because you don't get it, you don't get directions,
you're one of a kind. Sharing I feel like you're
telling us that you may be one of the contact
I think I am. I think well, I think, well,
this is one thing I've noticed a lot of times
with people like Sharing Green. What's so important is that
we as the broader population have to start demanding that
(47:26):
people like Sharon Green and Sharon Green herself be the
person that gets the consulting contracts with the school district,
be the person who's the head of the school board.
Is that something you want? Though? So there's this there's
this thing about a licensing and accountability that I might
not be able to say certain things if I have those,
(47:47):
But there are there are abilities of consulting that I
think a lot of people are now. The pandemic was
a beautiful thing, ladies, because it really allows people to
look at who they're being and how they're showing up.
And in education we're seeing gaps, and those gaps that
we're looking at, especially for our children, we haven't even
(48:09):
seen the beginning of it. So understand that our children
were not in school to identify who they were becoming
and being for two and a half years some three
and so there's some social emotional intelligence issues that are
coming about. And if you didn't have it, so school
(48:30):
was also a safe payment for our children. Teachers were
missing the kids as well as the students were missing
the environments that they were in right, real time, real talk,
because homes ain't always what they think they should be.
And this is not just for elementary school, it's all
way up to college, you know. So so people didn't
have safe spaces to be and they used schools as
(48:53):
a safe payment. And so we have to understand that,
you know, these teachers are doing so they're doing everything right.
So they're not maybe sharing green because they're a teacher,
but they have toiletries, they have food, they have you know,
lunch money, they have emergency money, they got closed, they
got all kinds of stuff going on outside of just
(49:14):
trying to do the academics right. And so I just
want to say that we're blessed that if you can't
afford to to homeschool, and I don't mean financially, I'm
talking about spiritually and emotionally, because we all can afford it.
We just have to do without some things. Right. We
might not have to have that bag, but or that car,
(49:40):
or go on that trip, but we you know, all
three yes. And then they went on to go to
Excelsior and U. Yeah they went to some so I have, Yeah,
they have when they went to HBC. But they all
went to pretty top schools in the nation, in the world.
And with the U, I'm curious, Howard, Okay, of course
(50:04):
I went. I went to Yeah, no, because because the
h U is a serious thing. Now, I respected, I respected.
I would love it. I love it. But I just
want to say that, you know, we all have our path.
Everyone can't home school, everyone can't go to private school,
(50:25):
everyone can't go to boarding school. But what everybody can
do is love. And what everybody can do is be
intentional about supporting their child and advocating for their child.
So you don't go into school like you go in advocating. Okay, so, yes,
there's a problem here. What resources do you have available?
(50:46):
Mm hmmm. I love the smile after and that's what
I do. And and and if you don't have the resources,
I'm sure there's someone on your board where there's maybe
some volunteers in your school that can help, right, Yes, absolutely,
I watched this woman disarmed every teacher, principal, city councilman.
(51:08):
It's it's it's not only the smile, it's the directness
of the information and the question that she's asking. Yeah. Intention,
She talked about intention in the very beginning. There's an
intention behind your eyes, your smile, everything, it's and it
is love. And love does not mean to not be direct. Fact,
(51:31):
to be love means exactly that to be direct, to
be clear, to have the right intention. If you if
you're beginning in with love, then it's not about the
other emotions that come in between, positive or negative. It
just is. But we can work it out because the
end goal is the child. Oh I love that. Do
you understand? Smile? See that's what it's like. The three
(51:53):
facets to that smile. One of them is you say
you got it, you got it? Yeah, yes, yes, Saron.
The other one is do you hear me? And then
the other one come on baby, just do it. I
want to throw that in there too real quick that that.
Sharon also has a lot of knowledge about UM grants
(52:18):
and UM assistance uh in in whatever kind of school
that you want your kid to go to. UM. So
imagine your page is full of like amazing, Oh okay,
oh it is she she um. She definitely received emails
(52:40):
and we all are we all? Yeah, I told you
how old. I'm keeping you so clean, and that's all right,
you You're probably keeping yourself from headache. But I think,
I think really the blessing of you is you know,
layered and wide in this conversation as because you've really
(53:02):
kind of laid down a lot of information for everyone.
But I just want, I always want to circle back
to it because what you said about intention and about
love is so important because people do get caught up
in what they do not have access to, and I
think there's so much about a child who was loved.
When a child is loved and going out into the world,
(53:23):
there that is a different energy that you are putting
out there. That is a different, completely different thing. That
is that that that grows in a way that you
cannot even imagine, and and and continues to give back
to you in ways that you can't even you can't
even quantify it. It's a beautiful thing. So I feel
(53:44):
people should really really hear you on that. You know,
the rest of it are details and things I have
to do with your specific child, But that right there,
how does love show up? What does it look like?
You know? And that's my one right there that got
me running mean just just walk with it, run with it,
and love with it, you know, and give yourself grace
(54:06):
every day all day because we don't know. And it's
okay to say, I'm so sorry. I apologized to my
kids all the times. My bad, she does, because it's
it's just this is this, Oh, I apologize my kids
all the time. My mother apologized to me, my mom,
my mom. Look well, I remember, I remember my mama
(54:39):
getting fussed at by her friends, like what this is.
This is one of the many ways where we're uplifting
our little people. We've been blessed two be the portal
to be the beginning. You know, they're very big part
(54:59):
of their universe. And the goal, I always believe this
is the goal is to help them fly on their own.
And if if you send them out into the world
with love, they come back, they come right back to you,
and then they fly off again if you've done it right.
I think it is. Everybody doesn't fly at the same time,
(55:20):
and no north fly the same way. They do not,
and it's fine, and it's fine the same sky. It'll
be there when it takes a lot of pressure off
of you and your kids when and and a lot
of the pressure is really what makes I know pressure,
(55:43):
and sometimes it will make me anxious, you know, and
and anxiety is not a good feeling at all. And
the funny thing is when you peel it back, you
you realize that the voice that that voice of your
anxiety is the voice of that person that didn't honor
you and the way that you want people to honor
your child. That that voice, that thing that's talking to
(56:05):
you that got you all turned up, is that moment
that Sharon was talking about, that teacher that said that thing,
that adult that said that thing, and you hold it
and then you end up taking it right into the
conversation you're having with your own kids. And I refuse,
I'm not I'm gonna change that voice. I want to
(56:26):
make sure that that voice is one of my own
creation and not one of my trauma. Mr frank Levitt,
I I forgive you. That's oh, I don't forgive Mr
Tyson In high school and then told my friends not
to hang out with me. It wouldn't be smarter them.
I was, I'm sorry, I'm this whole conversation I was
(56:47):
thinking about Mr. Tyson, and I was like, you motherfucker,
And I got friends from my school to still hang
out with him and go every Christmas, they go to
dinner with his mother. I'm sorry, Mr Tyson. He was
my homeroom teacher, so you can't already know you can't
really do wrong to me because what happens to you
(57:11):
in return is never, never, never nice. It's never a
good thing. So he lost his tenure. He was accused
nice molesting a child. I don't know if any of
that part, that last part um was actual what happened
or not, but he was a very very mean man
(57:31):
and he definitely intended to kill my spirit or sure,
for sure, I think Tyson is alone. Nobody married him,
so yeah, but that it would have been nice, I
can't have to say it would have been nice to
have an advocate at that time. So, like Sharon Greene said,
definitely be an advocate for your children. If they're telling
(57:53):
you that a teacher is being mean to them, believed them,
Believe them and show up. And I'm not saying necessarily
have about your vassline and take off your earie. You
can say it. You can say it and smile, you
can be like, you can be like. There's a lot
of threat behind that smile right there. Yeah, share his goals,
(58:17):
but everybody ain't gonna make the goals. Just don't touch
nobody you can help. Yeah, you know, I just wanted
to say, be an advocate and not a helicopter. Okay, yeah,
yeah advocate. Thank you so much for being here with
(58:38):
us at j dot il the podcast. I really hope
that everyone within listening ears um, every parent, every auntie,
every grandma, grandpa. I hope that you have taken the
time to jot down some things. If you haven't refined,
listen to this podcast all over again. I can definitely
attest to share In's views and her practice as being helpful.
(59:04):
I see the benefit of my own parenting with this
with this child and my nephew, and I see the
benefit um for my son. And that's really what you want. Huh,
that's really what you want? Yeah? Yeah, thanks y'all. Thank you.
(59:26):
How do you eat an elephant? One by it? Kind
pain listeners, It's Amber, your fearless producer here. Ms. Sharon
is truly a gift that keeps on giving her energy
and her life. Just wow. We learned a lot about
(59:46):
educational choices from this conversation, but I know I still
have a lot of questions, and I imagine you do too,
so I'm going to leave you with some articles in
the show notes I give a deeper understanding of the
range of choices for you and your family. And if
you want to work with Sharon as an educational coach
or consultant, you can connect with her through her company,
(01:00:06):
bloom Tree Educational Services. I'll drop a link in the
show notes to her company as well. Happy Learning. Hi
if you have comments on something we said in this
(01:00:28):
episode called eight six six, Hey Jill, if you want
to add to this conversation, that's eight six six nine
five four five by don't forget to tell us your
name and the episode you're referring to. You might just
hear your message on a future episode. Thank you for
listening to Jill Scott presents Jay dot Ill. The podcast
(01:00:54):
Jay dot Ill is a production of I Heart Radio.
For more podcast from I Heart Radio, visit the I
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