November 18, 2020 • 59 mins
Black people are escaping the U.S. to try to build a better life abroad. But is it worth it? Aja, Laiya, and Jill discuss where they would go if they left the U.S. -- if they would even leave in the first place. Plus, a conversation with educator and activist Dr. Yaba Blay.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Welcome to Jay dot Il, a production of My Heart
Radio Piece of Love. Y'all. Jill Scott presents Jay dot
(00:27):
Ill with my sister plans A Jay and I'm Jill Scott. Hello, Hello,
Hello world, what's up? Although this is new for you,
(00:47):
this is something that the three of us have been
doing for years and we thought it's the right time
to share what's in our heads and hearts with you
because we want you to think. You know what I'm saying.
We really do want you to start and spark conversation.
We want you to maybe reanalyze something. You know what
(01:09):
I mean. I think it's over. Yes, see what's really
going on in there? Yeah? I for one, am really
really honored to be in this situation because who doesn't
want to yacht with their girlfriends and share with the world.
Uh many times I've wanted to share my multiple group
texts with everyone. But you know, after now twenty two
(01:32):
years of marriage, about twenty five years in the music business,
and you know, for those of you who don't know me,
I'm in a group with my husband called Kendred the
Family Soul and it's EXAM and we have six whole kids,
six whole children, and uh, you know, just living in
this world and being a creative and experience in this
(01:53):
And of course you know that I've known Joe Scott
for almost that entire time, actually longer than that. I've
known her since before I was ever even married, So
we've watched each other grow and experienced life in so
many ways. So I'm exiety to get a chance to
kind of chime in about all that we've done. Yeah. Yes,
(02:22):
I always considered myself fortunate enough to even have these
relationships with these two women number one and and number two,
to have it for so long. Like Asia said, for me,
I think we all kind of met around the same time.
Maybe I came in a couple of years later, but
we are a couple of decades of this relationship. And
who would have thought me on a random trip to Montreal, Switzerland,
(02:43):
that I would have met this singer in this afro
with this left the jacket on named Jill Scott, and
that would have developed into this sisterhood as I moved
to Philly randomly and became this radio host that I
could always depend on, And it's so crazy that I
could always depend on not only you, but Asia just
as a radio girl in Philadelphia, Like whenever I called
(03:05):
y'all answer and even outside of just work, we played,
we have fun, we laugh, We've been two shows together,
we've been keep Key together. So it's just a privilege
should be able to not only bring that energy in
that spirit with so many sisters enjoy with their girlfriends
to displace, but to also share just all aspects of
y'all who people just really don't know. They just don't
(03:27):
they you think you know, Asia and Jill, Oh, but
you're about to be you just you about to get
it all and be so fulfilled at who these women
really are. You're gonna get some some I can't get everything.
You can't help it. They you won't be able to
help it. Jill. Yeah. The way it goes is that
we started talking, then we forget that. The mix is yeah,
this this kind of thing does happen. Yes, because but
(03:51):
like I said, and and we'll always continue to say, Um,
this is the point in purpose is to spark conversation.
You may not like what we're talking about. You you
love how we how we communicate between each other and
what we're saying. You might um, but we're going to
give you references We're gonna give you some interesting perspectives.
(04:14):
The goal is to spark that conversation and to get
us thinking and moving and moving. Yeah. I'm excited too
because I feel like a lot of people will look
at us and go, Okay, these are two sisters. They're
probably got a lot in common, and we do, but
we also have a lot of differences, you know, like
even in from Asia being a mom and mom to
six on that level and me being a single person
(04:36):
to Jill whatever. We're gonna drop status divorce okay three times. Yeah,
and I got blanket. But like I said, I gave
you so I can't. I can't promise you everything, but
I tell you I will be as honest and open
(04:59):
as I possible with man. We are gonna be talking
about love and uh, pretty much every aspect of existing. Um.
(05:22):
I know that that SAME's big, but but this gift
of life is gigantic, and I believe you got to
investigate the thing in order to understand why that why
they are you here? What is the purpose and point
of your existence? Um, it's not that philosophical, but it is.
Sometimes Sometimes we're gonna be talking about uh, scrowing, and
(05:46):
we're gonna talk about parents, and we're gonna talk about
being angry and how to deal with that and and
should your bus a bit. We're gonna talk about Yeah,
we're gonna talk about out um family and love lives
and um new books, thoughts, all kinds of thoughts for
(06:10):
so many purposes, so many purposes. We're gonna talk about
our hair, We're gonna talk about occasionally, we're gonna grab
some some weight and then talk about that meat in
these places. Yes, man hate is that we so I
would love to talk about the man meat. Okay, yes, delicious.
(06:38):
And of course, of course we don't want to bother
y'all with just us, even though we're enough. Amen. But
we're definitely going to be having a few guests on.
They're gonna be sharing some of their experiences with us
and you know, opening up our minds and hopefully opening
up yours and cackling. And we're not always gonna just
uh speak out random facts. We're still going to give
(07:00):
like you, resources and ways to actually find some solutions
to some of these issues that we're talking about. What
yah yah, because you need too someone, come on, come on,
come on. These opinions that we have they're going to change.
(07:24):
We are involving people, you know what I'm saying. So
these thoughts and opinions, you know, it might change the
next the very next day because we found out some ship.
You know, we learned something from somebody, or we learned
something because we read a new book, or um, we
had a new encounter. So you know, um very much
(07:45):
in this this cold culture of canceling people. Um, you're
gonna do yourself a disservice. Don't do yourself a disservice.
Don't cancel me, consider me darling dollars. Well, now that
you know about us, let's go talk yo, ship woman,
(08:09):
be ready, let's get into it all right. So today
we've been talking about trying to figure out if we're
actually going to lead this country real rap, real rap,
(08:34):
Like the what's happening here is so mind boggling, and
what's been happening for so long. There's been police brutality
in the United States for longer than you can't name,
since the beginning, since the very beginning of this country.
It's been here. We're dealing with drug addictions, we're dealing
(08:56):
with prison systems since the beginning, and here we are
in and we're trying to figure out are we going
to stay here? Because it's a big world. What you think, like, yeah,
you know what's funny, Jil, I always wanted to have
a place like somewhere else. In my mind. I was like, yeah,
I'll have a place somewhere like Brazil or Morocco or
(09:19):
something like that. But you know, it's interesting because post COVID,
you gotta read just everything, right if you just thinking,
shout out to everybody who's been to the Black son
Ian I like to call it on the National Museum
of African American History and Culture in d C. You
realize that all these different perpetrators of the slavery situation,
that narrows down your choices Portugal, Britain, ex because they're
(09:44):
gonna have all the same problems that we have, right
like all the places that they calonized and the places
and the places. So that's where it got confusing for me.
I'm still in the shoes. It was gonna be Canada,
and then my man came out and he had the
black face. Were always say it was going to be Canada,
But I felt like for me, the heat situation, like
(10:04):
I feel like if I gotta go someplace permanently. I
just can't deal with winter. So I was like, you
know what, that cut out a whole half of the
world for me. I was like, I said, that's not
gonna work. But you know, Canada was was definitely in
the running. I just was like, I can't deal with
you know, because and for as far as their politics
(10:25):
and everything is concerned, but the geography was the issue
for me. So of course I started trying to move below.
But then the anti blackness is strong in the earth,
right Yeah, So everywhere I was looking, I was like, man, dang,
you know, you gotta look between the lines, and you're
just like, wait a minute. I've been dealing with all
(10:45):
the same stuff no matter where I go, the same
damn stuff. And so it kind of leaves you thinking like,
what what what are we gonna do? So you find
yourself the lesser of the evils conversations right exactly. And I,
you know, and I found myself thinking about or what
(11:06):
does that mean? Where does that place me? And honestly,
it's the black culture of it all that makes it bearable.
It's like, that's how I bear the anti blackness is
being able to be in my face with my folks.
My folks make it better. And if I go somewhere
where they're not and I'm not saying a diaspora. I
(11:28):
love the diaspora. You know what I'm saying. Who don't
when you go and you see a brown face, a
brown faces, a brown face, the black faces, a black face.
But that person that has the shared experience with you,
you know what I mean, Like that place where you
can have when you say not later and they know
there's no w in that. You understand what I'm saying,
(11:50):
I do. And so with much deliberation, I have to
stay a just staying. I'm staying, just staying. Forgive me,
I'm a garden variety Negro, and I have to be
with my people. Gag. Are you in the best state
(12:10):
and city for your people? Because you know there are
some some cities offering you to come move there. I
was just reading an article on traveling the war, so
I was curious. I was like, what about like in
the country, would you I could do the country because
y'all know what I've been looking at. Though they got
this whole community of people now hear me out, they
call them schoolies right where they get school buses and
(12:33):
tournament too many into tiny homes. It's a whole community, y'all.
Check its a hashtag. School is with a K S
K O O l I e s school toilet They
gut toilets on a girl you could put damn. What
do you call them? On the top that catch the
sunlight and make give you let you watch TV. Solar
(12:53):
panel a solar panel that I don't know, baby Mama
like space. I love having some space. That's a thing.
And I thought about that. I looked online today trying
to find a house in Canada, looking in Toronto, and
I was like, well, wait a minute. I thought it
was cheap. Wait a minute, if I'm trying to get
(13:15):
you know, five or six bedroom house, you know, if
five bedrooms or I mean bathrooms or more like, wait
a minute, I don't think I'm quite ready. I don't think.
I don't think I'm quite ready. The prices for something
that I would like was upwards of four or five
(13:36):
million dollars, you know what I'm saying, like today, And
then on top of that, I don't know Canada like that,
so I don't know what neighborhood that's in. I found
an article about how Ribbean countries are settling citizenship to
Americans who want to avoid the travel restrictions. So I
was like, would you consider like an island so Saint Kids,
(13:58):
it's offering a package of four people for a hundred
and fifty dollars sat Kids places like St Kids. I
think Barbados is actually is doing this as well. I
had a three week vacation on the island one time,
and about two and a half weeks into it, I
was like, all right, ready to go home. But so
(14:18):
you know, I just felt like we all underestimate the
the beauty of a bustling lifestyle, like I think, because
we all get into these moments where we need that
time to like relax and get out of the hustle
and bustle. It's one thing when you're born into that
island lifestyle, it's in your blood, it's in your you
(14:39):
know it's in you. But when you're not, like she said,
about two weeks and you're looking around thinking like goodness.
I took the beach walk, I saw the moon, I
watched the stars, I drank the drinks, I ate the
food like I went in the waterfall, I climbed up
the Mountain, I saw the volcano. Uh, you know, and
(15:04):
then after that, it's when you're accustomed to the hustle
and bustle of life, it is very hard to change
your mindset. Not that it's impossible, it's not impossible, but uh,
that is a that's a challenge. I just feel like
the adventurous part of me wants to believe that I
am the person that I'm somebody who is like, come on,
(15:27):
let's go. We could do it, you know what I'm saying.
And my husband he talking about something. Girl, you ain't
going nowhere, and I'm I'm I'm angry. We don't got
into a full of argument about the ship. I'm not listening.
I'm not small minded, sir. I will live someplace else. Well,
first of all, he said, first time somebody goes somewhere,
ain't got your right coffee. You're about to come on home.
(15:47):
So I already know. He said, you go, you go
two weeks here, and then you're sitting back for the
rest of us. There's let me know after two weeks,
if you still want to be there, then then we're
gonna come. We'll be back after the break. I've really
(16:20):
been considering, Uh, Holland, you know, and you were like,
what about Pete. What's his name, Black Pete, Black Pete,
what about Black Pete. I have really been considering Holland because, Um,
the healthcare is incredible there. Um, the education is is
world ranked, you know, in the in the top five
(16:42):
if I'm not mistaken. Um. And I like when I'm there.
I like the sense of peacefulness that's all around me. Um.
I love that the food is healthy, that it is
really well hydrated. They don't do the GMOs, they don't
do msg, they don't try to kill people, you know,
(17:04):
they want them to be healthier. Everybody's riding their bikes around. Um,
there's so many kinds of museums. Um. It just every
time that I've been, it just felt like a real
peaceful existence. People sit a go outside for lunch and
eat lunch under a tree. Like that's what's up that
there's a difference between existing and living. And I feel
(17:28):
like when I'm in Holland, I get an opportunity to
to live and frolic. We have an expact that's in Holland.
I'm curious how because I'm Black Ice the poet. Yeah,
I have a friend who just moved. Um actually an activist,
like a lot of work here and had to roll out,
(17:50):
couldn't taken them Moull Yeah, yeah, I think that that's
the thing that a lot of people, you know who
people are just really sauceed. It's it's it's so much
too bad. I'm not saying that we have to bear
any more than our ancestors. I'm just saying that we
(18:12):
were still carrying after all of this time. We're carrying
the weight of history, and we're carrying the present, and
we're worried about the future. I had a psychic tell
me um a few days ago that Trump was going
to win the election, and I said, the fuck are
(18:32):
you serious that we have to leave? Would he predicted?
He predicted it last time, and I just I just couldn't.
I was like, no, never, do y'all feel guilty because
none of us have said any country in in the
African continent. Yes, I don't feel guilty because a different
was on was first on my list, But like seventy
(18:53):
percent of Africa's being run by the Chinese right now,
and they're running to kind of get their whole continent back,
county by country and not saying that that doesn't mean
I can't find a good quality of life somewhere on
the continent. That would be crazy for me to say.
But um, but yeah, I guess for me, my blackness
ends up leading the charge. That's probably not a good thing,
(19:15):
you know, because I love, honestly Jail for real. I
loved what you had to say about the carbon footprint
issue healthcare because we gotta get old, right, So who
wants to get old somewhere where they don't even take
care of people at So I get I'm with that,
Like it's bigger than just it's it's bigger than these issues.
It's overall, like the way that the government is run,
(19:38):
the way elections are run, the way schools and teachers
are being neglected and and disrespected, the way the health
care system works, like the whole the whole regime is
not for the people at all. If you're dealing in
(20:00):
in a capitalistic society, the goal is to get that
money and there is really not much else. Well a
gag is it was that way before Trump. It's been
that way. I mean, all of us, all of us
feel so like, you know, concerned about the Trump issue
(20:21):
because he's he's taken a bad situation and exacerbated it.
But really and truly, uh, we were pretty bad off
before then in terms of these same issues. I mean,
was it really because Obamacare did not really drop my bills?
And honestly, I paid less money under I paid less
(20:41):
money under the system that existed before. And I'm a
and I was a self paid for many, many years.
So I am kind of the I'm supposed to be
the poster child for that situation. But that's another conversation.
I will say this much though, that imagination part thinking
bigger and just dropping the bills a few or having
(21:04):
this particular kind of school and available to you. But um,
that radical imagination conversation, I think that's at the root
of this whole conversation about where would you go? It's
more about how do you how would you like to live?
What is the life we imagine for ourselves? And really
(21:24):
how do we make that happen? And that question, the
answer to that question involves so much more than picking
up and leaving. That's amazing. That's the brilliant agent. Ah,
come on, girl, she is she is and has always
been brilliant. And when you married your husband, I liked
(21:46):
him so much more because of girls. This he knows,
and he's so very happy you have made this addition.
A good man, good choice, good choice. I think you're right.
(22:06):
I think you're onto something nature like in this radical imagination.
How what exactly what you want? I know that I've
really been on this trying to find a way to live.
What does living mean? Not just you know, going through
life living? What does that mean? How I see people
(22:30):
out there having picnics and stuff, just as peaceful, you know,
just flowers all around. I said, look at that, that's nice.
I see I see the children in their backyard in
their pool, and I can hear them laughing. And I said,
that's nice. You know, I see kids. I go to
visit Harvard and and I look at all of these
(22:53):
young minds and they're so focused on their education and
being just being brilliant and intelligent. And I said, oh,
that's nice. I I go to communities and it's it's clean,
you know, it's it's no junk on the ground, it's
no garbage everywhere. That's that's nice. That's what I want.
(23:14):
That's what I think this cold, you know, American pie
thing is. That's what I think it is. And I
want it. I want that. I don't want to have
to worry so much, so much I worry about I
worry about my child, I worry about my family. I
worry about y'all. Where are you going? You know, if
(23:35):
you if you get stopped or pulled over, I worry
about you. I pray for my friends and my family.
My good lord, this is this is it's like a
state of constant fear. But they saying we are the
worst country for that. I just I just read this
is the worst country to raise a family. I just
(23:56):
saw that. I think we're number two in the world.
You you talk talking about you're talking about places that
are in the middle of war. So are we Well, yeah,
we're talking about places with extreme poverty. We got it,
we have it strong. Except our television are quote unquote propaganda.
You know, shows us, you know where everybody's doing great,
(24:19):
everybody's rich, everybody's got a bentley, everybody's bawling. And that's
just not the case. It's just not the case. Teachers
should be bawling, for sure. I mean I think that, well,
the whole thing with the PTSD and and and and
how the result of having to live under this high stress.
(24:43):
You know, it shows up so much, particularly in Black women,
but obviously in black families. Is just like you don't
have to go that far to find heart disease, the diabetes,
the asthma, the X Y and Z. And you know what,
I actually heard um Angela Davis talking about how the
idea of using joy as a revolutionary act and about
(25:03):
how how that is a way to counteract some of
the high stress because so many of the activists of
the past they had to deal with the realities of
of of drug use, of sadness, depression, meant all kinds
of other issues with mental health around the fact that
they just didn't incorporate self care as a part of
their revolution. And that's something I think that we have
(25:27):
or as the generations have gone on, have added more
of that, and we have our young folks to thank
for really taking that and running with it, Um And
so that becomes that way that we kind of consistently
use that as our you know, our compass are Due North.
As we're moving through trying to deal with this constant stress,
(25:48):
the constant how do I want to live? How do
I want to feel? We kind of keep getting back
Due North by using the joy, the happiness, the connection
with one another, which is why, like I said, I
live for a specific kind of connect and that I
get with black women. I just lived for that, and
I'm not a pent sure if I could get that
someplace else. I mean obviously with technology and everything like that.
(26:09):
But one thing about this whole pandemic is I missed
that connection with my girls. I missed that connection with
other women coast. I missed that connection with black women
for sure. I missed that connection with black women. And
so for me, part of my living is about and
in my imagination is about how do I make this
(26:30):
world a place where Black women can feel even better
about themselves and be even more of a resource and
an energy source for each other. You know what I'm saying,
because you guys, really, y'all do it for me. Truly, truly,
I wouldn't even be in this conversation today if it
(26:52):
wasn't for that energy period or real talk after the
breaking poetry kind This is um a poem uh from
(27:14):
TRUPETERA Mason. She was just uh, she just became poet
Laureate of Philadelphia. Come on, applause, applause. Trupeter Mason poet
laureate Happiness is a private club. We will enter even
(27:38):
though our mothers didn't. We will bang on the doors
until our fists are bloodied. We will burst through barriers,
create havoc. We will tie all our worldly possessions on
our back. We will go naked if we have to.
We will enter even though our mothers didn't. We will
be left into that exclusive club where entrance is often
(27:59):
denied to color girls kicking down the doors of Club Happiness.
We will soothe them for discrimination. We will destroy our persecutors.
We will bulldoze our own way in. We will get
into that club even though our mothers didn't. We will
be tired of incomplete people. We will become demanding. We
(28:20):
will have fire on our turn and burn down the doors.
We will not succumb to premature depths. We will buy
up all the stock in Club Happiness and gently welcome
our colored sisters in. We will own a piece of
Club Happiness and own it even though our mothers didn't.
(28:41):
Repete to Mason name, sir, m mmmmmm. And that's the goal,
finding and owning and claiming, and it not be so shaky.
What is what is happiness? What is peace of mind?
I want peace of mind. I want peace, I want it.
(29:03):
My dad always said happiness is fleeting. He said, it's
joy that you really really need, you know, like, come
on joy, Yes, come on joy, black girl joy. I mean,
the more that I look around, I try to be
true to listen to myself, because what happens is that
(29:24):
we think certain things are gonna bring us joy, and
then we go and try to acquire those things or
have those experiences, but we don't really listen to our
own spirit. And oftentimes for me, well anyway, the lesson
or the class that I'm in right now is really
being true to that voice inside me so I know
where my joy is because I mean, we talked about
(29:45):
this in other conversations about what we believe is the
pathway to joy or what we think is gonna make
us happy, and oftentimes we do that stuff, and I
know I have. I'm just done with that. I'm ready
to really listen to every little nuance of that voice
inside my head so that I know her really, really well,
(30:07):
so that my joy and whatever brings me joy is
based on her. It's not based on anything else or
anyone else, anyone else's joy, anything that makes anybody else happy,
anything that people say it is supposed to make you happy. Like,
I don't want any of that in my head. I
want to quiet all of that. All I'm interested in
(30:28):
is her. I want to know her so well, that's
that's that's where I'm at. Oh, I feel like, uh,
I feel like what's what's Jada's daughter's name, Willow? I
feel like Willow right now? I was yes, yes, yes, yes,
(30:58):
there's nowhere. There's nowhere to go that it hasn't been
affected by the slave case. There's nowhere in the world.
There's nowhere. Yeah, because I wasn't gonna get into Holland
in the Dutch, in the South Africa there, you know,
I know, you know, I know, I already knew sounds like,
let's not go there. But Holland is known for being tolerant.
(31:21):
And somebody said, do you really want to be tolerated.
I'd rather be tolerated than discriminated against. I would rather.
I would rather that, I do believe. I mean, for me,
it was the Dutch people calling themselves Africans. That for me,
That's what it was for me. But again, like I said,
(31:41):
that's not that is not the conversation and which and
whatch we as having. I will say it doesn't resonate
to me. I remember watching I'm Not Your Negro and
Baldwin said there was nothing of America that he longed for,
not a hot dog, not a nothing, not a no.
It was like out of nothing. And yeah, so it's
(32:02):
like he did not along for anything of home. And
I can imagine why he did not obviously experienced something
different than what I did. Um, but it doesn't. You know,
Tony Morrison resonates with me because she didn't go nowhere.
She found a lovely lake, a lovely lake. She found
a lovely lake, a lovely lake. Yes, she wrote the
(32:26):
most beautiful work of art after she was forty years old.
She was close to coast to forty years old. She
found time to write that thing at five o'clock in
the morning before her kids woke up. She wrote those
books in traffic driving to her job. For me, she
found a freedom that nobody could touch because she took
(32:48):
it everywhere that she went. That's what I'm talking about.
That's what I want to to that that feeling, that
ownership of peace of mind. And unfortunately, you know, every
time I turn on any level of social media or
anything else, there's always something, you know, proclaiming that I
(33:14):
can't get what I want. And I'm not saying that
I can't. I'm just saying, damn it, I'm I'm I'm tired.
That's the truth. I am. It's hard. We're all exhausted,
and people act like you can't be beat, like you
you don't like you know, I'm never tired. I come,
(33:35):
I feel like I need permission to feel beat. Okay,
so I give you permission. I give you permission to
take the weekend, take as many baths or as many
showers as you want, and not answer the phone unless
you want, and sleep, and maybe masturbate once or twice
(33:56):
if you feel like it. Twice. I mean, I'm just saying,
if that's what you want to to not answer the door,
to maybe not even wash your ass for the whole
weekend if you don't feel like it, I give you
permission to just bread if you want, watch movies if
you feel like it's sitting quiet, if that's that that's
(34:18):
your mood, like you know, so that we can get
up and do more, try harder, speak louder fus, make
a make a riff in this this dumbass water. Continue
to be the strong as both strong women on the planet,
we always have to be so strong. I give you
(34:39):
permission right now. Folks need to cry sometimes and and
scream sometimes. You know, church is not the only place
that you get to do it. Oh yeah, I'm definitely
in a class right now about well, about two things
I'm in that ministry. One O one, there's that um
(34:59):
and that's not my word that minute as I'm so
oh no, I'm sorry. So let me just say this.
I have an aunt. I have an aunt who whenever
she's like really in a life less in space, she
always says she's in a class and um, so yeah,
I just I get that from my aunt Jackie piece
to her. But yeah, that's number one about that NAP ministry,
(35:20):
which is, like I said, not my concept, but certainly
it has touched me. But the other part is, you know,
oning my weakness like ship, I'm tired and I'm weak
and I and I have to speak those things sometimes
sometimes I have to talk about that. And actually I'm
gonna put this out here too. Um A girlfriend and
I sent me a clip from Alicia Keys the other
(35:44):
day she was on Alive or something like that, and
she was talking about watching like this anime TV show,
So that was the basis for it. But the character
in the show had to kind of come to terms
with her fear, and she talked to about how a
lot of times, and much like weakness, a lot of
times we feel like we don't want to give our
(36:04):
weakness or fear and name because we feel like we're
gonna give it power, or that we can't give in
because if we give into it somehow we won't come back.
Sometimes it's the speaking on it, the getting it out,
the talking and saying it exists that helps. It helps
to deny its power. I think that that I'm with
(36:25):
that that's the class that I'm in, like I said,
is about that in terms of my weakness, what I'm
not able to handle. And I've even gotten into talking
to my kids about it, which truth be told, it
was grief that did that when I lost my mother.
Eventually I had to tell my kids I don't have
it today, and I hadn't done that before. I had
(36:48):
not ever said to my kids, I do not emotionally
have this for you today, like I can't talk today,
you know, and that was freeing beyond belief that oppera
tunity to say and to name my weakness, name my fear,
say it out of my mouth, you know. So now
I don't really shy away from that anymore. I mean
(37:08):
I think I think it has empowered and given my
kids actually some language around it. And I got four girls.
I don't have time to send anymore black women out
in the world. Ill equipped, somebody que the applause, man, man,
(37:32):
There are places in the world to go. It's a
big world. There's a lot of there's a ship show
pretty much everywhere you go. You have the right to
choose the ship you want to deal with. Coming up
next on the show, What's on Your Heart an occasional
segment where we're checking with people rerespect about how they're
(37:54):
really feeling. How on y'all? I think there's somebody that
must mean it's time for What's on you hi'd de Blai,
Thank you so much for calling in today. Would you
mind telling us a little bit more about yourself? My
(38:16):
name is Dr Yalla Blay. I am a scholar, activists professor.
I prefer to say an educator because it's not limited
to the college classroom. I'm also a producer and a
cultural worker, and in this moment, I like to self
identify as an independent people's worker. So what's on your heart? Two?
(38:38):
You know, it's a lot happening in this moment in
this world. Um, when I was trying to think about
what's on my heart, I think the feeling, the emotion,
the thought that keeps coming up is I'm tired. And
this kind of tired in this moment is different than
other kinds of tires. Not that I've not been tired before,
(38:59):
but it's like something about this moment, right, So when
I'm speaking of this moment, I'm speaking, of course this
new COVID nineteen reality, but also simultaneously, it's like when
COVID hit us in a particular way and Quarantine hit
us in a particular way. Was also after the assassination
of George Floyd, and it just felt like the world
woke up. And it's like, on the one hand, we
(39:21):
should be grateful, I suppose that the world don't woke up,
But it's also, if I'm honest, there's a there's a
bit of resentment. I think that that accompanies that moment,
because it's like, for those of us who do work
for and about black folks, like we've been saying the
same ship for X amount of years, and now that
(39:43):
everybody else done woke up, Now everybody else is ready
to ring the alarm. Now it's time for us to
jump on your schedule. So I'm grateful, be clear, because
COVID also presented a particular reality where I can't travel,
which is a out of how I make my income
in terms of speaking and consulting and such, and so
(40:04):
I was really kind of nervous, like, well, what am
I gonna do if we have to be in the
house until and so thankfully, you know, the moment presented
a lot of opportunities because now we know we can
do anything we want from home, from our computers and
lectures and consulting. We can do everything, and so it's dope.
But also I've never been approached as much as I
(40:27):
have now in this moment. So yes, it's a blessing
money wise, opportunity wise. But also can y'all chill out
for a second, you know what I mean? Like the
work is gonna be here, like this is life work,
this is long term work. But right now you're Auntie
you're aware, you want to do something, you want to
(40:48):
make a statement, you want to help the blacks, you
want to do all these things, and it's like there's
only so many hours in a day. So yes, I
love the opportunity, and yes I want to do this work,
but I also want to hug and kiss on my
grand babies, and I also want to take a nap,
multiple napsult So I think the challenge is balance. I mean,
I've been saying balance for so many years to the
(41:09):
point where it don't even feel like a real concept anymore. Right,
that we're seeking balance, like how do we balance working
and rest and all the other things that we should
have been enjoying in life. But I think this moment
just presents another set of challenges. I want to make
sure that we understand that the you that she's talking
about are the lovely whites, the happy whites that have
(41:31):
finally decided that they want to jump into this conversation,
and now that they've jumped in, they want results, and
part of their results is reaching out to those of
us and those black people who have been doing this
work for now, for decades, and not even just decades,
really there doing work for decades in the tradition of
(41:52):
work that's been going on since the beginning, since the beginning,
since the beginning, and so Dr Yaba Blay is one
of those people and us amazing work around you know,
black joy, so amongst other things, amongst delving into so
many different aspects of how we present ourselves and preserve
ourselves when we're consistently on attack. But girl, I'm tired
(42:13):
to child. Yes, yeah, I'm glad you reaffirmed that that
whole folks waking up today and you've been woke for
so long and having to like accept that as uh okay,
so we're just gonna accept that You're in the elementary
school while I've been getting my masters, and it's so frustrating.
I don't know what to do. Woke so long that
(42:35):
I need a nap, you know what I mean, even
conceptually this notion of woke. And I'll say the other thing.
I know as of you you clarified and said it's
the whites. But let me be clear, the blacks are
on my nerves too. That talks are on my nerves
in this moment, uh, because this is work, right, and
I don't think that just having black skin puts us
(42:57):
in a position to speak about the editions of our
society or our community, or puts us in an authority
position to speak on behalf of the community in terms
of what's best for us. And so I think there
are a lot of ways that we take our lived
experience for granted, meaning that we think it's as simple
as to say, let's end racism. What does that mean?
(43:19):
And what does that look like into what level? Right?
And how are you even understanding how racism impacts your
lived experience and maybe not just yours, but all of
us all over this world, Because like white supremacy is insidious,
so it manifests in a variety of ways that a
lot of times people aren't even able to um pick
(43:40):
up on. And so I have an example. I'm I
don't know if it's safe space. If you want to
go with it has to be more recently, your friend
Adele please talk about it. A dealt with the band
to Knocks and the celebration of Carnival, right, And so
the Jamaican became need didn't bother me, do you? Right?
(44:02):
I'm very familiar with my Jamaican brothers and sisters. You know,
out of many one people, and so I know the
vibe in terms of being very accepting, you know, and
embracing of a multi racial, multicultural identity, which is cool.
How Beever, when we as black women take issue with
(44:23):
the hairstyle that Adele chose, I eat Bantu nots. Why
is it that I'm having more conversation and more argument
with black people defending her choice of hairstyle the white people.
White people in a certain way know how to listen
and say, you know what, you might be right, doc,
(44:43):
I'm gonna sit this one out. Black people, however, we
fight amongst each other because again, we don't have a
sense of who gets to speak on our behalf. So
just because you, one black person don't have a problem
with hair hairstyle does not in the gate the impact
that her beha avior has on earth lived experience. Who
are you? Now? Somebody else might ask, well, who are you?
(45:06):
And I'm gonna tell you who I am the spirit
come on tell us? But somebody who studies, Because again,
when I talk about exhaustion, I think people might think
that race work is just something that every black person
should be able to do. Like I have a whole
PhD That required a whole lot of money, and reading
a whole lot of books, and sitting in a whole
lot of classes, and writing a whole lot of papers,
(45:26):
and doing a whole lot of ship Like I've been
trained in this work, and that training didn't end when
I got the degree. I'm still doing this work. So
if I come to you and I give you an
analysis and I say what she's doing is cultural appropriation,
why are you one black person now arguing with me
about you not feeling away? That doesn't change the impact
of what she's doing. It doesn't change the fact that
(45:49):
she needs to get checked on the land. You don't
want us to fight. You want us to be on
the front line. You want us to chant and cheer.
Black lives matter so long and you're comfortable with it.
But when your one white friend crosses the line, now
it's time for us to save her. It's like the
one black person that's okay with their one white friend
(46:09):
saying nigga all day long, just because you gave them
permission to say it. They're gonna get punched in the
face when they go away from you out in the community.
You can't save them. Ain't no cookout invites that a
single one, not a single one. Part of the exhaustion
(46:31):
is like I've been trained how to fight white folks
and white folks. I'm not saying that I want to
fight you, but I'm saying that I understand the defensiveness
that comes when someone is talking about racism and white
supremacy and a system that you ultimately benefit from, whether
you choose to or not. I know how to do that,
But I love us so much that I think it
actually hurts my feelings that I also have to fight
(46:53):
us too in the way this work. It hurts my
feelings because I don't want to fight us. But also
Harriet Tubman, being my patron saint that she is, Harry
Is said everybody can't come. We just had that conversation
about everybody can come and who can come, and everybody
can and and it's I think, you know, if again,
if we're being honest on an emotional vulnerable level, it
(47:15):
also hurts to be able to say that right that
everybody can't come. In reality, everybody can't come. And so
I might not respond to your comment, I might not
respond to your email. I might not want to talk
to you about it, brother or sister because to do
so is to actually waste time and energy that I
don't have. When I could be napping, I could be napping,
(47:37):
could be doing any number of things. I could be
scrolling Instagram, I could just be being But like I think,
what people also have to understand, white, black and other
is that just because you ask a question of somebody,
they're not required to give you an answer. And I
think when you do public work, people think that you
should be accessible at all times. But I literally sat
(47:58):
there and I counted I blocked over a hundred folks
that day just because And I'm talking about black and white,
right because the other thing again, these kind of this
hurtful space that becomes created in the space of Adele
to have folks who are Caribbean come and give their
explanation and their excuse of her behavior, and then it
become a conversation of well, you're not Caribbean, so you
(48:20):
can't speak, or you're not Jamaican and therefore you don't
understand or to say to me, you're African Americans, but
actually you don't know me, right, So we all have
black skin, but we all have different backgrounds. I'm actually
not African American I'm Ghanian American, not that that puts
me in any other position, but it is to say,
if you want us to understand the nuance of your identity,
(48:41):
understand that we all have nuance in our identities. Right,
My people from Ghana, they were colonized by the British.
Do you know that? Right now? In if you go
to court in Ghana, the judges are wearing powdered wigs,
and meanwhile folks are sitting here doing COVID talking about
where they want to escape too, and they're going back
to Africa. And my point is I get it. I
(49:04):
get the need and the desire to leave this place
because it is so aggressively violent towards us. But it's
also to say, if you don't understand how white supremacy works,
you won't recognize it in all the other ways that
it manifests. So yes, you might be around a whole
bunch of black folks who were speaking a whole another language,
(49:24):
who are living a whole another culture, but white supremacy
lives there too. There is nowhere on this earth that
you can go to escape it. Can we can we
go back to what? Can we go back? You were
gonna stay here because because why I will say this,
I will say this that ultimately the ways in which
(49:47):
we get to understand each other and share a common
language is by knowledge, is by knowing and communicating with
one another. And we have to find a place to
commune and study together so that we know these things,
so that we are working from the same baseline. We
we create a value. So dr blame, Um, how do
(50:12):
we do this? We need to start some tribunals and
cities across the countries. Um. Do some iteration of that
sound realistic? Of course? I mean. And again for me,
it's like I enjoy teaching people who want to learn,
you know what I mean? So I do think we
need a safe space, and the internet is not so
safe because everybody has access to it. So yeah, we're committed.
(50:35):
And their folks who are coming to the table, like, yeah,
let's talk, not saying just come and let me take
everything you say is right and move on, but like,
let's enter into conversation with the common kind of agreement
that we're here to learn and we want to walk
away from this space in better understanding of one And
I think it's a beautiful idea, you know, And it
would be probably be great to get some well intentioned
(50:56):
white folks to fund it. I'm glad said that. I'm
interested in the way that we're treating quote unquote allies.
I'm watching us um react, um, react to what seems
to be people with good intentions in a very ugly way,
(51:20):
and I'm concerned about that. What do you how what's
your perspective there, Dr Blake? I think it depends on
the nature of the offense. Um. Without the offense, I'm
hesitant to say we need allies. That's what I was
about to say. I'm gonna say it anyway. I'm gonna say.
I'm gonna say we need allies because we do because
in order for white supremacy to get checked, white people
(51:44):
have to also recognize their investment in it, right, and
they also have to be really willing to re send
some of the privileges, unearned privileges that they get from it.
But I also pushed us a step further to say, like,
I'm less interested in allies, um than I am in accomplices, right,
Like we need accomplices, like what you're willing to do
(52:07):
and what we're gonna call them instead of spook who
sat by the door. We need Casper who sat by
the door. I don't know, but we need somebody to
go in on our behalf and do this work, recognizing
that your white skin, your white privilege, your white experience,
is going to give you access to a truth that
we won't have access to. And then you get in
there and you give them the business on our behalf,
(52:29):
and not just on the behalf of the blacks, but
recognizing that you have an investment in it as well.
And as if we get rid of white supremacy, your
life will also be enhanced. I think a lot of
folks are just afraid of the privilege that they might
lose if we end racism, if we end white supremacy,
which is why the back Oh of course, yeah, that's
why I feel like if you have an ally, you know,
(52:51):
or an accomplice, to be respectful, but I need to
see your papers because I'm not just gonna call you.
I think we all need to decide that you're an ally.
You can't be telling me you're an ally. You get
none of that. You can't have one black friend that
said here ally, No, we need to discuss this. They
need to be vetted and what does an ally mean
just because you have like something or you have posted something,
(53:12):
or are you in these streets? Are you doing it
in your dollars? Like? What does that? It looks a
variety of ways. And I think that's ultimately where we
have to push us, all right, that you don't just
get to self identify as an ally because you know
intention the intentions are great, but impact is greater. Well,
I'm gonna say this. I'm gonna say this real quick
(53:33):
because I know I ain't gonna be speaking last, so
let me just lean in. Okay, how do you know?
How do you know? Listen? What I'm gonna say is
this that it's not that I'm not interested in allies
or accomplices. That's just not the place that I'm going
to push my particular energy. What I'm gonna say is this,
is that my responsibility, or what the responsibility I feel
(53:56):
like I want to take, is quieting the messages and
the white supremacist messag is in my head and shifting
my own lands as much as I possibly can. And
I realize now how difficult that can be and how
much a personal inner work does affect how the world
changes because we interact with so many people on a
daily basis, and we interact with so many people throughout
our lifetime, and it's those interactions that begin to shift
(54:19):
and mold how other people think. Children, older, older people,
older people who may need to shift and and and
incorporate certain evolution in their wisdom. All those things are important,
as well as just having radical compassion for my own folks.
(54:40):
I don't have time to help other people accept something
that my own people are suffering so much behind, and
so my compassion is for them, and for now, my
compassion is for them alone. I still say, don't cut
off your toe despite your foot. I know you're trying
to hurt no white people. I just think come starting
with what they heard or not. No, no, no, I'm
(55:02):
not saying that we got feelings. I understand, I understand.
I just you know, coming from a different place, Jill,
your white friends still gonna like you after this. We're
gonna mess it up. That's already and they don't like
you more because what I've learned is that the good
white people love a good revolutionary as sucking uh public
(55:23):
enemy like they love a good revolution I know, I know,
you know what this is. I'm just saying that I
like to I like to believe that we were capable
of using all the tools in the shed. I feel
that you understand. And if there is someone or a
(55:44):
company or someone that's willing to put their money and
their energy into destroying white supremacy, I am not mad.
Keep exactly that's all that that that's in fairness, what
I say to them is thank you. But also, you
(56:04):
don't get gold stars for being a basically decent human.
Decent and I think a lot of times that's what
words expect. It wasn't handing out stalls. Just kind of
speaking of what Asian said. I think we all have
to know our place in the work, and if it's not,
if that's not your lane, don't occupy it right. Figure
out what what you do best and stay there. There
(56:25):
are people who know very well how to to to
co mingo and how to foster relationships with allies and accomplices.
I pass it off to them. It's not my strong suit.
But yes, absolutely we need everybody invested in this work,
all of us here here. Please inform us of your
books so we can purchase. Okay, so my first book,
(56:46):
one Drop, Shifting the Lens on Race, I actually printed
it independently back in and it is now being re
released on be Compressed and it will be available for
US as of Black History months and by the time
this show airs will have pre orders available on Amazon.
And so that's one drop shifting the lens on race.
(57:07):
Other than that, I'm on Instagram way too much. Um,
I do a lot of stuff on there. But for
more information you can check my website, Yaba blade dot com.
Thank you so much. How do you eat an elephant?
One by time? Hey? Everyone, Hey, y'all, it's Eaves. You'll
(57:32):
hear from me from time to time because I'm an
executive producer on the show. We are nearing the end
of this episode, but Jill, Layah and Asia want you
to know that they're not just on here talking ship.
As Angel would say. All right, so y'all might have
heard this thing before how do you eat an elephant?
One bite at a time? But if you haven't, it
(57:53):
basically means that when you have something in front of
you that feels like this huge, insurmountable task, what you
can do is break it down into smaller, bite sized pieces.
That way it no longer seems impossible. That's why we
want to share resources with you. So when we talk
about these topics that have so many layers, you have
(58:14):
a small bite of information to take with you as
you navigate through life. All that said, the resource that
we want to share with you today is travel Noir.
Laiah brought up a travel Noir article in today's episode,
and she often goes to travel noir dot com to
learn about what's happening in the world of black travel.
I'll drop a link in the episode description. Thank you
(58:42):
for listening to Jill Scott present j dot il the podcast.
This podcast is hosted by Jill Scott, Layah st Clair,
and agent Braden Danceler. It's executive producers are Jill Scott,
Sean g and Brian Calhoun. It's produced by About Your
Thank Claire and Me. He's Je co The editing and
(59:04):
found design for this episode we're done by Taylor Chaquin.
I didn't say this part about Nina Simone, her moving
to Switzerland when I had the privilege of meeting her.
Thanks and shout out to Diana Williams in Philadelphia. When
I had the privilege and honor to meet Nina Simone,
(59:25):
she told me that that I should leave here, that
I should leave this place that America would never understand me.
I was like, damn, how you just that's the greeting,
you know what I mean, Like, that's the greeting you
should leave. Jay dot Ill is a production of I
(59:47):
Heart Radio. For more podcasts from I heart Radio, visit
the I heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you
listen to your favorite shows.
Welcome to Jay dot Il, a production of My Heart
Radio Piece of Love. Y'all. Jill Scott presents Jay dot
(00:27):
Ill with my sister plans A Jay and I'm Jill Scott. Hello, Hello,
Hello world, what's up? Although this is new for you,
(00:47):
this is something that the three of us have been
doing for years and we thought it's the right time
to share what's in our heads and hearts with you
because we want you to think. You know what I'm saying.
We really do want you to start and spark conversation.
We want you to maybe reanalyze something. You know what
(01:09):
I mean. I think it's over. Yes, see what's really
going on in there? Yeah? I for one, am really
really honored to be in this situation because who doesn't
want to yacht with their girlfriends and share with the world.
Uh many times I've wanted to share my multiple group
texts with everyone. But you know, after now twenty two
(01:32):
years of marriage, about twenty five years in the music business,
and you know, for those of you who don't know me,
I'm in a group with my husband called Kendred the
Family Soul and it's EXAM and we have six whole kids,
six whole children, and uh, you know, just living in
this world and being a creative and experience in this
(01:53):
And of course you know that I've known Joe Scott
for almost that entire time, actually longer than that. I've
known her since before I was ever even married, So
we've watched each other grow and experienced life in so
many ways. So I'm exiety to get a chance to
kind of chime in about all that we've done. Yeah. Yes,
(02:22):
I always considered myself fortunate enough to even have these
relationships with these two women number one and and number two,
to have it for so long. Like Asia said, for me,
I think we all kind of met around the same time.
Maybe I came in a couple of years later, but
we are a couple of decades of this relationship. And
who would have thought me on a random trip to Montreal, Switzerland,
(02:43):
that I would have met this singer in this afro
with this left the jacket on named Jill Scott, and
that would have developed into this sisterhood as I moved
to Philly randomly and became this radio host that I
could always depend on, And it's so crazy that I
could always depend on not only you, but Asia just
as a radio girl in Philadelphia, Like whenever I called
(03:05):
y'all answer and even outside of just work, we played,
we have fun, we laugh, We've been two shows together,
we've been keep Key together. So it's just a privilege
should be able to not only bring that energy in
that spirit with so many sisters enjoy with their girlfriends
to displace, but to also share just all aspects of
y'all who people just really don't know. They just don't
(03:27):
they you think you know, Asia and Jill, Oh, but
you're about to be you just you about to get
it all and be so fulfilled at who these women
really are. You're gonna get some some I can't get everything.
You can't help it. They you won't be able to
help it. Jill. Yeah. The way it goes is that
we started talking, then we forget that. The mix is yeah,
this this kind of thing does happen. Yes, because but
(03:51):
like I said, and and we'll always continue to say, Um,
this is the point in purpose is to spark conversation.
You may not like what we're talking about. You you
love how we how we communicate between each other and
what we're saying. You might um, but we're going to
give you references We're gonna give you some interesting perspectives.
(04:14):
The goal is to spark that conversation and to get
us thinking and moving and moving. Yeah. I'm excited too
because I feel like a lot of people will look
at us and go, Okay, these are two sisters. They're
probably got a lot in common, and we do, but
we also have a lot of differences, you know, like
even in from Asia being a mom and mom to
six on that level and me being a single person
(04:36):
to Jill whatever. We're gonna drop status divorce okay three times. Yeah,
and I got blanket. But like I said, I gave
you so I can't. I can't promise you everything, but
I tell you I will be as honest and open
(04:59):
as I possible with man. We are gonna be talking
about love and uh, pretty much every aspect of existing. Um.
(05:22):
I know that that SAME's big, but but this gift
of life is gigantic, and I believe you got to
investigate the thing in order to understand why that why
they are you here? What is the purpose and point
of your existence? Um, it's not that philosophical, but it is.
Sometimes Sometimes we're gonna be talking about uh, scrowing, and
(05:46):
we're gonna talk about parents, and we're gonna talk about
being angry and how to deal with that and and
should your bus a bit. We're gonna talk about Yeah,
we're gonna talk about out um family and love lives
and um new books, thoughts, all kinds of thoughts for
(06:10):
so many purposes, so many purposes. We're gonna talk about
our hair, We're gonna talk about occasionally, we're gonna grab
some some weight and then talk about that meat in
these places. Yes, man hate is that we so I
would love to talk about the man meat. Okay, yes, delicious.
(06:38):
And of course, of course we don't want to bother
y'all with just us, even though we're enough. Amen. But
we're definitely going to be having a few guests on.
They're gonna be sharing some of their experiences with us
and you know, opening up our minds and hopefully opening
up yours and cackling. And we're not always gonna just
uh speak out random facts. We're still going to give
(07:00):
like you, resources and ways to actually find some solutions
to some of these issues that we're talking about. What
yah yah, because you need too someone, come on, come on,
come on. These opinions that we have they're going to change.
(07:24):
We are involving people, you know what I'm saying. So
these thoughts and opinions, you know, it might change the
next the very next day because we found out some ship.
You know, we learned something from somebody, or we learned
something because we read a new book, or um, we
had a new encounter. So you know, um very much
(07:45):
in this this cold culture of canceling people. Um, you're
gonna do yourself a disservice. Don't do yourself a disservice.
Don't cancel me, consider me darling dollars. Well, now that
you know about us, let's go talk yo, ship woman,
(08:09):
be ready, let's get into it all right. So today
we've been talking about trying to figure out if we're
actually going to lead this country real rap, real rap,
(08:34):
Like the what's happening here is so mind boggling, and
what's been happening for so long. There's been police brutality
in the United States for longer than you can't name,
since the beginning, since the very beginning of this country.
It's been here. We're dealing with drug addictions, we're dealing
(08:56):
with prison systems since the beginning, and here we are
in and we're trying to figure out are we going
to stay here? Because it's a big world. What you think, like, yeah,
you know what's funny, Jil, I always wanted to have
a place like somewhere else. In my mind. I was like, yeah,
I'll have a place somewhere like Brazil or Morocco or
(09:19):
something like that. But you know, it's interesting because post COVID,
you gotta read just everything, right if you just thinking,
shout out to everybody who's been to the Black son
Ian I like to call it on the National Museum
of African American History and Culture in d C. You
realize that all these different perpetrators of the slavery situation,
that narrows down your choices Portugal, Britain, ex because they're
(09:44):
gonna have all the same problems that we have, right
like all the places that they calonized and the places
and the places. So that's where it got confusing for me.
I'm still in the shoes. It was gonna be Canada,
and then my man came out and he had the
black face. Were always say it was going to be Canada,
But I felt like for me, the heat situation, like
(10:04):
I feel like if I gotta go someplace permanently. I
just can't deal with winter. So I was like, you
know what, that cut out a whole half of the
world for me. I was like, I said, that's not
gonna work. But you know, Canada was was definitely in
the running. I just was like, I can't deal with
you know, because and for as far as their politics
(10:25):
and everything is concerned, but the geography was the issue
for me. So of course I started trying to move below.
But then the anti blackness is strong in the earth,
right Yeah, So everywhere I was looking, I was like, man, dang,
you know, you gotta look between the lines, and you're
just like, wait a minute. I've been dealing with all
(10:45):
the same stuff no matter where I go, the same
damn stuff. And so it kind of leaves you thinking like,
what what what are we gonna do? So you find
yourself the lesser of the evils conversations right exactly. And I,
you know, and I found myself thinking about or what
(11:06):
does that mean? Where does that place me? And honestly,
it's the black culture of it all that makes it bearable.
It's like, that's how I bear the anti blackness is
being able to be in my face with my folks.
My folks make it better. And if I go somewhere
where they're not and I'm not saying a diaspora. I
(11:28):
love the diaspora. You know what I'm saying. Who don't
when you go and you see a brown face, a
brown faces, a brown face, the black faces, a black face.
But that person that has the shared experience with you,
you know what I mean, Like that place where you
can have when you say not later and they know
there's no w in that. You understand what I'm saying,
(11:50):
I do. And so with much deliberation, I have to
stay a just staying. I'm staying, just staying. Forgive me,
I'm a garden variety Negro, and I have to be
with my people. Gag. Are you in the best state
(12:10):
and city for your people? Because you know there are
some some cities offering you to come move there. I
was just reading an article on traveling the war, so
I was curious. I was like, what about like in
the country, would you I could do the country because
y'all know what I've been looking at. Though they got
this whole community of people now hear me out, they
call them schoolies right where they get school buses and
(12:33):
tournament too many into tiny homes. It's a whole community, y'all.
Check its a hashtag. School is with a K S
K O O l I e s school toilet They
gut toilets on a girl you could put damn. What
do you call them? On the top that catch the
sunlight and make give you let you watch TV. Solar
(12:53):
panel a solar panel that I don't know, baby Mama
like space. I love having some space. That's a thing.
And I thought about that. I looked online today trying
to find a house in Canada, looking in Toronto, and
I was like, well, wait a minute. I thought it
was cheap. Wait a minute, if I'm trying to get
(13:15):
you know, five or six bedroom house, you know, if
five bedrooms or I mean bathrooms or more like, wait
a minute, I don't think I'm quite ready. I don't think.
I don't think I'm quite ready. The prices for something
that I would like was upwards of four or five
(13:36):
million dollars, you know what I'm saying, like today, And
then on top of that, I don't know Canada like that,
so I don't know what neighborhood that's in. I found
an article about how Ribbean countries are settling citizenship to
Americans who want to avoid the travel restrictions. So I
was like, would you consider like an island so Saint Kids,
(13:58):
it's offering a package of four people for a hundred
and fifty dollars sat Kids places like St Kids. I
think Barbados is actually is doing this as well. I
had a three week vacation on the island one time,
and about two and a half weeks into it, I
was like, all right, ready to go home. But so
(14:18):
you know, I just felt like we all underestimate the
the beauty of a bustling lifestyle, like I think, because
we all get into these moments where we need that
time to like relax and get out of the hustle
and bustle. It's one thing when you're born into that
island lifestyle, it's in your blood, it's in your you
(14:39):
know it's in you. But when you're not, like she said,
about two weeks and you're looking around thinking like goodness.
I took the beach walk, I saw the moon, I
watched the stars, I drank the drinks, I ate the
food like I went in the waterfall, I climbed up
the Mountain, I saw the volcano. Uh, you know, and
(15:04):
then after that, it's when you're accustomed to the hustle
and bustle of life, it is very hard to change
your mindset. Not that it's impossible, it's not impossible, but uh,
that is a that's a challenge. I just feel like
the adventurous part of me wants to believe that I
am the person that I'm somebody who is like, come on,
(15:27):
let's go. We could do it, you know what I'm saying.
And my husband he talking about something. Girl, you ain't
going nowhere, and I'm I'm I'm angry. We don't got
into a full of argument about the ship. I'm not listening.
I'm not small minded, sir. I will live someplace else. Well,
first of all, he said, first time somebody goes somewhere,
ain't got your right coffee. You're about to come on home.
(15:47):
So I already know. He said, you go, you go
two weeks here, and then you're sitting back for the
rest of us. There's let me know after two weeks,
if you still want to be there, then then we're
gonna come. We'll be back after the break. I've really
(16:20):
been considering, Uh, Holland, you know, and you were like,
what about Pete. What's his name, Black Pete, Black Pete,
what about Black Pete. I have really been considering Holland because, Um,
the healthcare is incredible there. Um, the education is is
world ranked, you know, in the in the top five
(16:42):
if I'm not mistaken. Um. And I like when I'm there.
I like the sense of peacefulness that's all around me. Um.
I love that the food is healthy, that it is
really well hydrated. They don't do the GMOs, they don't
do msg, they don't try to kill people, you know,
(17:04):
they want them to be healthier. Everybody's riding their bikes around. Um,
there's so many kinds of museums. Um. It just every
time that I've been, it just felt like a real
peaceful existence. People sit a go outside for lunch and
eat lunch under a tree. Like that's what's up that
there's a difference between existing and living. And I feel
(17:28):
like when I'm in Holland, I get an opportunity to
to live and frolic. We have an expact that's in Holland.
I'm curious how because I'm Black Ice the poet. Yeah,
I have a friend who just moved. Um actually an activist,
like a lot of work here and had to roll out,
(17:50):
couldn't taken them Moull Yeah, yeah, I think that that's
the thing that a lot of people, you know who
people are just really sauceed. It's it's it's so much
too bad. I'm not saying that we have to bear
any more than our ancestors. I'm just saying that we
(18:12):
were still carrying after all of this time. We're carrying
the weight of history, and we're carrying the present, and
we're worried about the future. I had a psychic tell
me um a few days ago that Trump was going
to win the election, and I said, the fuck are
(18:32):
you serious that we have to leave? Would he predicted?
He predicted it last time, and I just I just couldn't.
I was like, no, never, do y'all feel guilty because
none of us have said any country in in the
African continent. Yes, I don't feel guilty because a different
was on was first on my list, But like seventy
(18:53):
percent of Africa's being run by the Chinese right now,
and they're running to kind of get their whole continent back,
county by country and not saying that that doesn't mean
I can't find a good quality of life somewhere on
the continent. That would be crazy for me to say.
But um, but yeah, I guess for me, my blackness
ends up leading the charge. That's probably not a good thing,
(19:15):
you know, because I love, honestly Jail for real. I
loved what you had to say about the carbon footprint
issue healthcare because we gotta get old, right, So who
wants to get old somewhere where they don't even take
care of people at So I get I'm with that,
Like it's bigger than just it's it's bigger than these issues.
It's overall, like the way that the government is run,
(19:38):
the way elections are run, the way schools and teachers
are being neglected and and disrespected, the way the health
care system works, like the whole the whole regime is
not for the people at all. If you're dealing in
(20:00):
in a capitalistic society, the goal is to get that
money and there is really not much else. Well a
gag is it was that way before Trump. It's been
that way. I mean, all of us, all of us
feel so like, you know, concerned about the Trump issue
(20:21):
because he's he's taken a bad situation and exacerbated it.
But really and truly, uh, we were pretty bad off
before then in terms of these same issues. I mean,
was it really because Obamacare did not really drop my bills?
And honestly, I paid less money under I paid less
(20:41):
money under the system that existed before. And I'm a
and I was a self paid for many, many years.
So I am kind of the I'm supposed to be
the poster child for that situation. But that's another conversation.
I will say this much though, that imagination part thinking
bigger and just dropping the bills a few or having
(21:04):
this particular kind of school and available to you. But um,
that radical imagination conversation, I think that's at the root
of this whole conversation about where would you go? It's
more about how do you how would you like to live?
What is the life we imagine for ourselves? And really
(21:24):
how do we make that happen? And that question, the
answer to that question involves so much more than picking
up and leaving. That's amazing. That's the brilliant agent. Ah,
come on, girl, she is she is and has always
been brilliant. And when you married your husband, I liked
(21:46):
him so much more because of girls. This he knows,
and he's so very happy you have made this addition.
A good man, good choice, good choice. I think you're right.
(22:06):
I think you're onto something nature like in this radical imagination.
How what exactly what you want? I know that I've
really been on this trying to find a way to live.
What does living mean? Not just you know, going through
life living? What does that mean? How I see people
(22:30):
out there having picnics and stuff, just as peaceful, you know,
just flowers all around. I said, look at that, that's nice.
I see I see the children in their backyard in
their pool, and I can hear them laughing. And I said,
that's nice. You know, I see kids. I go to
visit Harvard and and I look at all of these
(22:53):
young minds and they're so focused on their education and
being just being brilliant and intelligent. And I said, oh,
that's nice. I I go to communities and it's it's clean,
you know, it's it's no junk on the ground, it's
no garbage everywhere. That's that's nice. That's what I want.
(23:14):
That's what I think this cold, you know, American pie
thing is. That's what I think it is. And I
want it. I want that. I don't want to have
to worry so much, so much I worry about I
worry about my child, I worry about my family. I
worry about y'all. Where are you going? You know, if
(23:35):
you if you get stopped or pulled over, I worry
about you. I pray for my friends and my family.
My good lord, this is this is it's like a
state of constant fear. But they saying we are the
worst country for that. I just I just read this
is the worst country to raise a family. I just
(23:56):
saw that. I think we're number two in the world.
You you talk talking about you're talking about places that
are in the middle of war. So are we Well, yeah,
we're talking about places with extreme poverty. We got it,
we have it strong. Except our television are quote unquote propaganda.
You know, shows us, you know where everybody's doing great,
(24:19):
everybody's rich, everybody's got a bentley, everybody's bawling. And that's
just not the case. It's just not the case. Teachers
should be bawling, for sure. I mean I think that, well,
the whole thing with the PTSD and and and and
how the result of having to live under this high stress.
(24:43):
You know, it shows up so much, particularly in Black women,
but obviously in black families. Is just like you don't
have to go that far to find heart disease, the diabetes,
the asthma, the X Y and Z. And you know what,
I actually heard um Angela Davis talking about how the
idea of using joy as a revolutionary act and about
(25:03):
how how that is a way to counteract some of
the high stress because so many of the activists of
the past they had to deal with the realities of
of of drug use, of sadness, depression, meant all kinds
of other issues with mental health around the fact that
they just didn't incorporate self care as a part of
their revolution. And that's something I think that we have
(25:27):
or as the generations have gone on, have added more
of that, and we have our young folks to thank
for really taking that and running with it, Um And
so that becomes that way that we kind of consistently
use that as our you know, our compass are Due North.
As we're moving through trying to deal with this constant stress,
(25:48):
the constant how do I want to live? How do
I want to feel? We kind of keep getting back
Due North by using the joy, the happiness, the connection
with one another, which is why, like I said, I
live for a specific kind of connect and that I
get with black women. I just lived for that, and
I'm not a pent sure if I could get that
someplace else. I mean obviously with technology and everything like that.
(26:09):
But one thing about this whole pandemic is I missed
that connection with my girls. I missed that connection with
other women coast. I missed that connection with black women
for sure. I missed that connection with black women. And
so for me, part of my living is about and
in my imagination is about how do I make this
(26:30):
world a place where Black women can feel even better
about themselves and be even more of a resource and
an energy source for each other. You know what I'm saying,
because you guys, really, y'all do it for me. Truly, truly,
I wouldn't even be in this conversation today if it
(26:52):
wasn't for that energy period or real talk after the
breaking poetry kind This is um a poem uh from
(27:14):
TRUPETERA Mason. She was just uh, she just became poet
Laureate of Philadelphia. Come on, applause, applause. Trupeter Mason poet
laureate Happiness is a private club. We will enter even
(27:38):
though our mothers didn't. We will bang on the doors
until our fists are bloodied. We will burst through barriers,
create havoc. We will tie all our worldly possessions on
our back. We will go naked if we have to.
We will enter even though our mothers didn't. We will
be left into that exclusive club where entrance is often
(27:59):
denied to color girls kicking down the doors of Club Happiness.
We will soothe them for discrimination. We will destroy our persecutors.
We will bulldoze our own way in. We will get
into that club even though our mothers didn't. We will
be tired of incomplete people. We will become demanding. We
(28:20):
will have fire on our turn and burn down the doors.
We will not succumb to premature depths. We will buy
up all the stock in Club Happiness and gently welcome
our colored sisters in. We will own a piece of
Club Happiness and own it even though our mothers didn't.
(28:41):
Repete to Mason name, sir, m mmmmmm. And that's the goal,
finding and owning and claiming, and it not be so shaky.
What is what is happiness? What is peace of mind?
I want peace of mind. I want peace, I want it.
(29:03):
My dad always said happiness is fleeting. He said, it's
joy that you really really need, you know, like, come
on joy, Yes, come on joy, black girl joy. I mean,
the more that I look around, I try to be
true to listen to myself, because what happens is that
(29:24):
we think certain things are gonna bring us joy, and
then we go and try to acquire those things or
have those experiences, but we don't really listen to our
own spirit. And oftentimes for me, well anyway, the lesson
or the class that I'm in right now is really
being true to that voice inside me so I know
where my joy is because I mean, we talked about
(29:45):
this in other conversations about what we believe is the
pathway to joy or what we think is gonna make
us happy, and oftentimes we do that stuff, and I
know I have. I'm just done with that. I'm ready
to really listen to every little nuance of that voice
inside my head so that I know her really, really well,
(30:07):
so that my joy and whatever brings me joy is
based on her. It's not based on anything else or
anyone else, anyone else's joy, anything that makes anybody else happy,
anything that people say it is supposed to make you happy. Like,
I don't want any of that in my head. I
want to quiet all of that. All I'm interested in
(30:28):
is her. I want to know her so well, that's
that's that's where I'm at. Oh, I feel like, uh,
I feel like what's what's Jada's daughter's name, Willow? I
feel like Willow right now? I was yes, yes, yes, yes,
(30:58):
there's nowhere. There's nowhere to go that it hasn't been
affected by the slave case. There's nowhere in the world.
There's nowhere. Yeah, because I wasn't gonna get into Holland
in the Dutch, in the South Africa there, you know,
I know, you know, I know, I already knew sounds like,
let's not go there. But Holland is known for being tolerant.
(31:21):
And somebody said, do you really want to be tolerated.
I'd rather be tolerated than discriminated against. I would rather.
I would rather that, I do believe. I mean, for me,
it was the Dutch people calling themselves Africans. That for me,
That's what it was for me. But again, like I said,
(31:41):
that's not that is not the conversation and which and
whatch we as having. I will say it doesn't resonate
to me. I remember watching I'm Not Your Negro and
Baldwin said there was nothing of America that he longed for,
not a hot dog, not a nothing, not a no.
It was like out of nothing. And yeah, so it's
(32:02):
like he did not along for anything of home. And
I can imagine why he did not obviously experienced something
different than what I did. Um, but it doesn't. You know,
Tony Morrison resonates with me because she didn't go nowhere.
She found a lovely lake, a lovely lake. She found
a lovely lake, a lovely lake. Yes, she wrote the
(32:26):
most beautiful work of art after she was forty years old.
She was close to coast to forty years old. She
found time to write that thing at five o'clock in
the morning before her kids woke up. She wrote those
books in traffic driving to her job. For me, she
found a freedom that nobody could touch because she took
(32:48):
it everywhere that she went. That's what I'm talking about.
That's what I want to to that that feeling, that
ownership of peace of mind. And unfortunately, you know, every
time I turn on any level of social media or
anything else, there's always something, you know, proclaiming that I
(33:14):
can't get what I want. And I'm not saying that
I can't. I'm just saying, damn it, I'm I'm I'm tired.
That's the truth. I am. It's hard. We're all exhausted,
and people act like you can't be beat, like you
you don't like you know, I'm never tired. I come,
(33:35):
I feel like I need permission to feel beat. Okay,
so I give you permission. I give you permission to
take the weekend, take as many baths or as many
showers as you want, and not answer the phone unless
you want, and sleep, and maybe masturbate once or twice
(33:56):
if you feel like it. Twice. I mean, I'm just saying,
if that's what you want to to not answer the door,
to maybe not even wash your ass for the whole
weekend if you don't feel like it, I give you
permission to just bread if you want, watch movies if
you feel like it's sitting quiet, if that's that that's
(34:18):
your mood, like you know, so that we can get
up and do more, try harder, speak louder fus, make
a make a riff in this this dumbass water. Continue
to be the strong as both strong women on the planet,
we always have to be so strong. I give you
(34:39):
permission right now. Folks need to cry sometimes and and
scream sometimes. You know, church is not the only place
that you get to do it. Oh yeah, I'm definitely
in a class right now about well, about two things
I'm in that ministry. One O one, there's that um
(34:59):
and that's not my word that minute as I'm so
oh no, I'm sorry. So let me just say this.
I have an aunt. I have an aunt who whenever
she's like really in a life less in space, she
always says she's in a class and um, so yeah,
I just I get that from my aunt Jackie piece
to her. But yeah, that's number one about that NAP ministry,
(35:20):
which is, like I said, not my concept, but certainly
it has touched me. But the other part is, you know,
oning my weakness like ship, I'm tired and I'm weak
and I and I have to speak those things sometimes
sometimes I have to talk about that. And actually I'm
gonna put this out here too. Um A girlfriend and
I sent me a clip from Alicia Keys the other
(35:44):
day she was on Alive or something like that, and
she was talking about watching like this anime TV show,
So that was the basis for it. But the character
in the show had to kind of come to terms
with her fear, and she talked to about how a
lot of times, and much like weakness, a lot of
times we feel like we don't want to give our
(36:04):
weakness or fear and name because we feel like we're
gonna give it power, or that we can't give in
because if we give into it somehow we won't come back.
Sometimes it's the speaking on it, the getting it out,
the talking and saying it exists that helps. It helps
to deny its power. I think that that I'm with
(36:25):
that that's the class that I'm in, like I said,
is about that in terms of my weakness, what I'm
not able to handle. And I've even gotten into talking
to my kids about it, which truth be told, it
was grief that did that when I lost my mother.
Eventually I had to tell my kids I don't have
it today, and I hadn't done that before. I had
(36:48):
not ever said to my kids, I do not emotionally
have this for you today, like I can't talk today,
you know, and that was freeing beyond belief that oppera
tunity to say and to name my weakness, name my fear,
say it out of my mouth, you know. So now
I don't really shy away from that anymore. I mean
(37:08):
I think I think it has empowered and given my
kids actually some language around it. And I got four girls.
I don't have time to send anymore black women out
in the world. Ill equipped, somebody que the applause, man, man,
(37:32):
There are places in the world to go. It's a
big world. There's a lot of there's a ship show
pretty much everywhere you go. You have the right to
choose the ship you want to deal with. Coming up
next on the show, What's on Your Heart an occasional
segment where we're checking with people rerespect about how they're
(37:54):
really feeling. How on y'all? I think there's somebody that
must mean it's time for What's on you hi'd de Blai,
Thank you so much for calling in today. Would you
mind telling us a little bit more about yourself? My
(38:16):
name is Dr Yalla Blay. I am a scholar, activists professor.
I prefer to say an educator because it's not limited
to the college classroom. I'm also a producer and a
cultural worker, and in this moment, I like to self
identify as an independent people's worker. So what's on your heart? Two?
(38:38):
You know, it's a lot happening in this moment in
this world. Um, when I was trying to think about
what's on my heart, I think the feeling, the emotion,
the thought that keeps coming up is I'm tired. And
this kind of tired in this moment is different than
other kinds of tires. Not that I've not been tired before,
(38:59):
but it's like something about this moment, right, So when
I'm speaking of this moment, I'm speaking, of course this
new COVID nineteen reality, but also simultaneously, it's like when
COVID hit us in a particular way and Quarantine hit
us in a particular way. Was also after the assassination
of George Floyd, and it just felt like the world
woke up. And it's like, on the one hand, we
(39:21):
should be grateful, I suppose that the world don't woke up,
But it's also, if I'm honest, there's a there's a
bit of resentment. I think that that accompanies that moment,
because it's like, for those of us who do work
for and about black folks, like we've been saying the
same ship for X amount of years, and now that
(39:43):
everybody else done woke up, Now everybody else is ready
to ring the alarm. Now it's time for us to
jump on your schedule. So I'm grateful, be clear, because
COVID also presented a particular reality where I can't travel,
which is a out of how I make my income
in terms of speaking and consulting and such, and so
(40:04):
I was really kind of nervous, like, well, what am
I gonna do if we have to be in the
house until and so thankfully, you know, the moment presented
a lot of opportunities because now we know we can
do anything we want from home, from our computers and
lectures and consulting. We can do everything, and so it's dope.
But also I've never been approached as much as I
(40:27):
have now in this moment. So yes, it's a blessing
money wise, opportunity wise. But also can y'all chill out
for a second, you know what I mean? Like the
work is gonna be here, like this is life work,
this is long term work. But right now you're Auntie
you're aware, you want to do something, you want to
(40:48):
make a statement, you want to help the blacks, you
want to do all these things, and it's like there's
only so many hours in a day. So yes, I
love the opportunity, and yes I want to do this work,
but I also want to hug and kiss on my
grand babies, and I also want to take a nap,
multiple napsult So I think the challenge is balance. I mean,
I've been saying balance for so many years to the
(41:09):
point where it don't even feel like a real concept anymore. Right,
that we're seeking balance, like how do we balance working
and rest and all the other things that we should
have been enjoying in life. But I think this moment
just presents another set of challenges. I want to make
sure that we understand that the you that she's talking
about are the lovely whites, the happy whites that have
(41:31):
finally decided that they want to jump into this conversation,
and now that they've jumped in, they want results, and
part of their results is reaching out to those of
us and those black people who have been doing this
work for now, for decades, and not even just decades,
really there doing work for decades in the tradition of
(41:52):
work that's been going on since the beginning, since the beginning,
since the beginning, and so Dr Yaba Blay is one
of those people and us amazing work around you know,
black joy, so amongst other things, amongst delving into so
many different aspects of how we present ourselves and preserve
ourselves when we're consistently on attack. But girl, I'm tired
(42:13):
to child. Yes, yeah, I'm glad you reaffirmed that that
whole folks waking up today and you've been woke for
so long and having to like accept that as uh okay,
so we're just gonna accept that You're in the elementary
school while I've been getting my masters, and it's so frustrating.
I don't know what to do. Woke so long that
(42:35):
I need a nap, you know what I mean, even
conceptually this notion of woke. And I'll say the other thing.
I know as of you you clarified and said it's
the whites. But let me be clear, the blacks are
on my nerves too. That talks are on my nerves
in this moment, uh, because this is work, right, and
I don't think that just having black skin puts us
(42:57):
in a position to speak about the editions of our
society or our community, or puts us in an authority
position to speak on behalf of the community in terms
of what's best for us. And so I think there
are a lot of ways that we take our lived
experience for granted, meaning that we think it's as simple
as to say, let's end racism. What does that mean?
(43:19):
And what does that look like into what level? Right?
And how are you even understanding how racism impacts your
lived experience and maybe not just yours, but all of
us all over this world, Because like white supremacy is insidious,
so it manifests in a variety of ways that a
lot of times people aren't even able to um pick
(43:40):
up on. And so I have an example. I'm I
don't know if it's safe space. If you want to
go with it has to be more recently, your friend
Adele please talk about it. A dealt with the band
to Knocks and the celebration of Carnival, right, And so
the Jamaican became need didn't bother me, do you? Right?
(44:02):
I'm very familiar with my Jamaican brothers and sisters. You know,
out of many one people, and so I know the
vibe in terms of being very accepting, you know, and
embracing of a multi racial, multicultural identity, which is cool.
How Beever, when we as black women take issue with
(44:23):
the hairstyle that Adele chose, I eat Bantu nots. Why
is it that I'm having more conversation and more argument
with black people defending her choice of hairstyle the white people.
White people in a certain way know how to listen
and say, you know what, you might be right, doc,
(44:43):
I'm gonna sit this one out. Black people, however, we
fight amongst each other because again, we don't have a
sense of who gets to speak on our behalf. So
just because you, one black person don't have a problem
with hair hairstyle does not in the gate the impact
that her beha avior has on earth lived experience. Who
are you? Now? Somebody else might ask, well, who are you?
(45:06):
And I'm gonna tell you who I am the spirit
come on tell us? But somebody who studies, Because again,
when I talk about exhaustion, I think people might think
that race work is just something that every black person
should be able to do. Like I have a whole
PhD That required a whole lot of money, and reading
a whole lot of books, and sitting in a whole
lot of classes, and writing a whole lot of papers,
(45:26):
and doing a whole lot of ship Like I've been
trained in this work, and that training didn't end when
I got the degree. I'm still doing this work. So
if I come to you and I give you an
analysis and I say what she's doing is cultural appropriation,
why are you one black person now arguing with me
about you not feeling away? That doesn't change the impact
of what she's doing. It doesn't change the fact that
(45:49):
she needs to get checked on the land. You don't
want us to fight. You want us to be on
the front line. You want us to chant and cheer.
Black lives matter so long and you're comfortable with it.
But when your one white friend crosses the line, now
it's time for us to save her. It's like the
one black person that's okay with their one white friend
(46:09):
saying nigga all day long, just because you gave them
permission to say it. They're gonna get punched in the
face when they go away from you out in the community.
You can't save them. Ain't no cookout invites that a
single one, not a single one. Part of the exhaustion
(46:31):
is like I've been trained how to fight white folks
and white folks. I'm not saying that I want to
fight you, but I'm saying that I understand the defensiveness
that comes when someone is talking about racism and white
supremacy and a system that you ultimately benefit from, whether
you choose to or not. I know how to do that,
But I love us so much that I think it
actually hurts my feelings that I also have to fight
(46:53):
us too in the way this work. It hurts my
feelings because I don't want to fight us. But also
Harriet Tubman, being my patron saint that she is, Harry
Is said everybody can't come. We just had that conversation
about everybody can come and who can come, and everybody
can and and it's I think, you know, if again,
if we're being honest on an emotional vulnerable level, it
(47:15):
also hurts to be able to say that right that
everybody can't come. In reality, everybody can't come. And so
I might not respond to your comment, I might not
respond to your email. I might not want to talk
to you about it, brother or sister because to do
so is to actually waste time and energy that I
don't have. When I could be napping, I could be napping,
(47:37):
could be doing any number of things. I could be
scrolling Instagram, I could just be being But like I think,
what people also have to understand, white, black and other
is that just because you ask a question of somebody,
they're not required to give you an answer. And I
think when you do public work, people think that you
should be accessible at all times. But I literally sat
(47:58):
there and I counted I blocked over a hundred folks
that day just because And I'm talking about black and white,
right because the other thing again, these kind of this
hurtful space that becomes created in the space of Adele
to have folks who are Caribbean come and give their
explanation and their excuse of her behavior, and then it
become a conversation of well, you're not Caribbean, so you
(48:20):
can't speak, or you're not Jamaican and therefore you don't
understand or to say to me, you're African Americans, but
actually you don't know me, right, So we all have
black skin, but we all have different backgrounds. I'm actually
not African American I'm Ghanian American, not that that puts
me in any other position, but it is to say,
if you want us to understand the nuance of your identity,
(48:41):
understand that we all have nuance in our identities. Right,
My people from Ghana, they were colonized by the British.
Do you know that? Right now? In if you go
to court in Ghana, the judges are wearing powdered wigs,
and meanwhile folks are sitting here doing COVID talking about
where they want to escape too, and they're going back
to Africa. And my point is I get it. I
(49:04):
get the need and the desire to leave this place
because it is so aggressively violent towards us. But it's
also to say, if you don't understand how white supremacy works,
you won't recognize it in all the other ways that
it manifests. So yes, you might be around a whole
bunch of black folks who were speaking a whole another language,
(49:24):
who are living a whole another culture, but white supremacy
lives there too. There is nowhere on this earth that
you can go to escape it. Can we can we
go back to what? Can we go back? You were
gonna stay here because because why I will say this,
I will say this that ultimately the ways in which
(49:47):
we get to understand each other and share a common
language is by knowledge, is by knowing and communicating with
one another. And we have to find a place to
commune and study together so that we know these things,
so that we are working from the same baseline. We
we create a value. So dr blame, Um, how do
(50:12):
we do this? We need to start some tribunals and
cities across the countries. Um. Do some iteration of that
sound realistic? Of course? I mean. And again for me,
it's like I enjoy teaching people who want to learn,
you know what I mean? So I do think we
need a safe space, and the internet is not so
safe because everybody has access to it. So yeah, we're committed.
(50:35):
And their folks who are coming to the table, like, yeah,
let's talk, not saying just come and let me take
everything you say is right and move on, but like,
let's enter into conversation with the common kind of agreement
that we're here to learn and we want to walk
away from this space in better understanding of one And
I think it's a beautiful idea, you know, And it
would be probably be great to get some well intentioned
(50:56):
white folks to fund it. I'm glad said that. I'm
interested in the way that we're treating quote unquote allies.
I'm watching us um react, um, react to what seems
to be people with good intentions in a very ugly way,
(51:20):
and I'm concerned about that. What do you how what's
your perspective there, Dr Blake? I think it depends on
the nature of the offense. Um. Without the offense, I'm
hesitant to say we need allies. That's what I was
about to say. I'm gonna say it anyway. I'm gonna say.
I'm gonna say we need allies because we do because
in order for white supremacy to get checked, white people
(51:44):
have to also recognize their investment in it, right, and
they also have to be really willing to re send
some of the privileges, unearned privileges that they get from it.
But I also pushed us a step further to say, like,
I'm less interested in allies, um than I am in accomplices, right,
Like we need accomplices, like what you're willing to do
(52:07):
and what we're gonna call them instead of spook who
sat by the door. We need Casper who sat by
the door. I don't know, but we need somebody to
go in on our behalf and do this work, recognizing
that your white skin, your white privilege, your white experience,
is going to give you access to a truth that
we won't have access to. And then you get in
there and you give them the business on our behalf,
(52:29):
and not just on the behalf of the blacks, but
recognizing that you have an investment in it as well.
And as if we get rid of white supremacy, your
life will also be enhanced. I think a lot of
folks are just afraid of the privilege that they might
lose if we end racism, if we end white supremacy,
which is why the back Oh of course, yeah, that's
why I feel like if you have an ally, you know,
(52:51):
or an accomplice, to be respectful, but I need to
see your papers because I'm not just gonna call you.
I think we all need to decide that you're an ally.
You can't be telling me you're an ally. You get
none of that. You can't have one black friend that
said here ally, No, we need to discuss this. They
need to be vetted and what does an ally mean
just because you have like something or you have posted something,
(53:12):
or are you in these streets? Are you doing it
in your dollars? Like? What does that? It looks a
variety of ways. And I think that's ultimately where we
have to push us, all right, that you don't just
get to self identify as an ally because you know
intention the intentions are great, but impact is greater. Well,
I'm gonna say this. I'm gonna say this real quick
(53:33):
because I know I ain't gonna be speaking last, so
let me just lean in. Okay, how do you know?
How do you know? Listen? What I'm gonna say is
this that it's not that I'm not interested in allies
or accomplices. That's just not the place that I'm going
to push my particular energy. What I'm gonna say is this,
is that my responsibility, or what the responsibility I feel
(53:56):
like I want to take, is quieting the messages and
the white supremacist messag is in my head and shifting
my own lands as much as I possibly can. And
I realize now how difficult that can be and how
much a personal inner work does affect how the world
changes because we interact with so many people on a
daily basis, and we interact with so many people throughout
our lifetime, and it's those interactions that begin to shift
(54:19):
and mold how other people think. Children, older, older people,
older people who may need to shift and and and
incorporate certain evolution in their wisdom. All those things are important,
as well as just having radical compassion for my own folks.
(54:40):
I don't have time to help other people accept something
that my own people are suffering so much behind, and
so my compassion is for them, and for now, my
compassion is for them alone. I still say, don't cut
off your toe despite your foot. I know you're trying
to hurt no white people. I just think come starting
with what they heard or not. No, no, no, I'm
(55:02):
not saying that we got feelings. I understand, I understand.
I just you know, coming from a different place, Jill,
your white friends still gonna like you after this. We're
gonna mess it up. That's already and they don't like
you more because what I've learned is that the good
white people love a good revolutionary as sucking uh public
(55:23):
enemy like they love a good revolution I know, I know,
you know what this is. I'm just saying that I
like to I like to believe that we were capable
of using all the tools in the shed. I feel
that you understand. And if there is someone or a
(55:44):
company or someone that's willing to put their money and
their energy into destroying white supremacy, I am not mad.
Keep exactly that's all that that that's in fairness, what
I say to them is thank you. But also, you
(56:04):
don't get gold stars for being a basically decent human.
Decent and I think a lot of times that's what
words expect. It wasn't handing out stalls. Just kind of
speaking of what Asian said. I think we all have
to know our place in the work, and if it's not,
if that's not your lane, don't occupy it right. Figure
out what what you do best and stay there. There
(56:25):
are people who know very well how to to to
co mingo and how to foster relationships with allies and accomplices.
I pass it off to them. It's not my strong suit.
But yes, absolutely we need everybody invested in this work,
all of us here here. Please inform us of your
books so we can purchase. Okay, so my first book,
(56:46):
one Drop, Shifting the Lens on Race, I actually printed
it independently back in and it is now being re
released on be Compressed and it will be available for
US as of Black History months and by the time
this show airs will have pre orders available on Amazon.
And so that's one drop shifting the lens on race.
(57:07):
Other than that, I'm on Instagram way too much. Um,
I do a lot of stuff on there. But for
more information you can check my website, Yaba blade dot com.
Thank you so much. How do you eat an elephant?
One by time? Hey? Everyone, Hey, y'all, it's Eaves. You'll
(57:32):
hear from me from time to time because I'm an
executive producer on the show. We are nearing the end
of this episode, but Jill, Layah and Asia want you
to know that they're not just on here talking ship.
As Angel would say. All right, so y'all might have
heard this thing before how do you eat an elephant?
One bite at a time? But if you haven't, it
(57:53):
basically means that when you have something in front of
you that feels like this huge, insurmountable task, what you
can do is break it down into smaller, bite sized pieces.
That way it no longer seems impossible. That's why we
want to share resources with you. So when we talk
about these topics that have so many layers, you have
(58:14):
a small bite of information to take with you as
you navigate through life. All that said, the resource that
we want to share with you today is travel Noir.
Laiah brought up a travel Noir article in today's episode,
and she often goes to travel noir dot com to
learn about what's happening in the world of black travel.
I'll drop a link in the episode description. Thank you
(58:42):
for listening to Jill Scott present j dot il the podcast.
This podcast is hosted by Jill Scott, Layah st Clair,
and agent Braden Danceler. It's executive producers are Jill Scott,
Sean g and Brian Calhoun. It's produced by About Your
Thank Claire and Me. He's Je co The editing and
(59:04):
found design for this episode we're done by Taylor Chaquin.
I didn't say this part about Nina Simone, her moving
to Switzerland when I had the privilege of meeting her.
Thanks and shout out to Diana Williams in Philadelphia. When
I had the privilege and honor to meet Nina Simone,
(59:25):
she told me that that I should leave here, that
I should leave this place that America would never understand me.
I was like, damn, how you just that's the greeting,
you know what I mean, Like, that's the greeting you
should leave. Jay dot Ill is a production of I
(59:47):
Heart Radio. For more podcasts from I heart Radio, visit
the I heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you
listen to your favorite shows.
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