June 17, 2021 • 37 mins
On ripping up the playbook and creating stories before products.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:12):
I went to dinner yesterday at a really nice in
like a country in right after getting uh, my first reaccination,
and this girl comes over, Hi, how are you sparkling
or still? Which is always the question, obviously sparkling or still?
And then if she says sparkling or still, my committing
to non tap water, and then I always have to
(00:33):
feel degraded by being like, um, I'll just get the
tap water. And then you say, and I'll have a
glass of rose. You're walking into a place it's a pandemic,
and you just want to get your drink order in.
You want to be out in thirty six minutes, and
so you say the wine to Okay, I'm just gonna
get your water first, and then I'll come back for
the drink order. I'm like, okay, I didn't mean to
inundate you, overwhelm you. I didn't mean if you have
(00:54):
a multitask with the rose order, we'll see in a minute.
Then they come back okay, Um, so have you dined
with us before? Yes, even though I really don't lie,
but like I have to say yes, because then we're
going through the whole diatribe of no, we do things
(01:14):
differently here I'm like, oh, really, do I go in
the kitchen and the white jacket and cook the food
and you're gonna eat it? How different could it be?
Let me know, how do you do it differently? Okay? Um,
the small items those are in the top portion, and
those are like you know, smaller portions more and maybe
like the top is the larger items those are really
(01:35):
we encourage sharing, like what okay, So we'll decide if
we're gonna share, and we have to share. I wasn't
ready to share, but we could share if we wanted to.
So I was with up Paul the other day and
he doesn't like any sort of green vegetable. He likes
roasted potatoes. He doesn't like far oh keen, water braised fennel,
(01:55):
braised kale, oakrah, Brussels sprouts. At a mom a liam
a bean and poor Paul ordered chicken scarporella, which is
like a basic thing. And it was like, it's got
to always be like a boat on the sea and
like the sea was purade, but it's never mashed potatoes anymore.
It's like mashed potato puree. So I feel like that's healthy,
but it's not. It's just like puraing some other starch
(02:15):
vegetable with butter and milk and like making it a bed.
And then on top of that was like the soupy,
oily sautet spinach, and I did say that he doesn't
like vegetables, and they allowed me to order a side
of spinach. And then my cheap side comes in because
now I'm like, now I've got a side of spinach.
I'm gonna eat your spinach. We are long spinach. And
he's now gonna cut into the chicken and it gets
soggy from what's underneath. And we can't just have the
(02:36):
chicken separate. Can everybody just be separate? We could decide
who we want to put together. We're not into blended
families on our plates. So he said, ahead of time,
is it possible for the chicken that I could just
get roasted potatoes? And she's like, the roasted potatoes come
with the sear duck breast. He's like, right, can I
just get some from that? And I don't need any
(02:57):
of my stuff. I'm giving up broccoli, rob okra and
parsnip pure, which my fiancee Bethany tells me is way
more expensive than just roasted potatoes. No, we can't. Sorry,
so she said, they come in components, like they come
with their friends. So if like the duck breast came
with saute string beans and roasted potatoes and let's say
(03:18):
okra or sucotash, that's a unit their family there, like
an adopted family of children. We don't separate them, like
we don't want to separate them and move them to
different states. So we're like, okay, So I'm like, well,
Paul doesn't love vegetables, but we'll take that family. Can
we trade that family for the family that came with
the chicken, and we'll take the whole family and we'll
separate them within our household. I'll eat the bullshit on
the side, really eat the brand new potatoes, and then
(03:41):
can we do that? And she's like, of course, well
I'm gonna try that for you. Of course, no, no,
no problem at all. And then the voice gets higher
and she's super nice. But I feel like she hates me.
And we weren't being like Harry met Sally at all.
We're just like asking basic questions. I promise. I'm like,
thank you so much, and now I'm passive aggressive, but
I thank you so much. Oh my god, you look
so pretty. Oh my god, the things are so great.
It's wonderful. The decor and here is amazing. So then
(04:04):
at the end of the meal, and we're good tippers.
I'm not saying we're like ninety percent tippers, but I'm
like a thirty five percent tipper for a good tip.
It's a pandemic and it's just never seems right, and
it always means more to them and it means to me.
So sometimes you can ask the waitress if they could
give us to the coach check person because they're like
walking past there, anyone walking you know a way. Maybe
that's wrong and I don't actually know the answer to that,
but you know, would you mind giving it to them?
(04:26):
Oh it's right down there, you know, as you leave
to the door. I was a cocktail waitress, and um,
do you know what I mean about this? Pastive? Aggressive,
like overly nice, high pitched voice, And you can't say
anything bad about it because it's nice, but it's not nice.
Thank you? Yes, I will. God, you know, I mean,
(04:47):
we don't really do that here. Yeah, I can ask
the chef, but I just we're not being on substitutions
or chef has a very strict policy. But thank you
so much. Have a great day. Yeah, okay, amazing. By
the way, we could do ten minutes on passive aggressive,
just like if you want to be passive aggressive but
not get tagged for it and still be in trouble,
(05:07):
like get your expressions out without road rage. Like, yeah,
I don't know, I we Yeah, well, I'm just thinking
maybe we do this a different way, but like we're
(05:28):
not really set up for that. I don't really specialize
in that. Yeah, and it may not happen today, it
may not happen any day, but we really want to
help you. Well, let me know what you all think.
I've been getting a lot of comments about the rants
and that you love the interviews but that you almost
wish the whole thing with the rants. But the funny
(05:50):
thing is the rants are like never prepared. I literally
send one, sent it to my assistant. I'm like, past
bag people, and then this is what happens. And I
was speaking to Jeff Ross the Face a Miss Rosemaster
General on the phone last night. He's like, well, how
do you prepare? Who writes the rants for You'm like, what,
who writes anything for me? Nothing? Just to get on
it started ranting, So there you go. Jesse Etsler is
(06:17):
here today. He is an entrepreneur and author, a keynote speaker.
He's a motivational speaker. I've seen him. He really gets
crowds going. He's a former rapper on MTV. I incidentally,
which he didn't even realize, was an extra in one
of his videos called Shake like a White Girl. Um,
and I remember somewhere someone said to me, you dance
(06:39):
like you're white, and I said, I am white, So
that m that would make sense. He's the co founder
of Marquee Jet, a partner in Zico Coconut Water, the
founder of the one hundred Mile Group, and owner of
the NBA's Atlanta Hawks. But he started from humble beginnings
in New York. Today we talked about the importance of
having the mindset of success, how people buy into stories
(07:01):
more than products, and why you should rip up the
playbook to succeed, and also how you are only one
idea away from changing your life. He's very inspiring and
I think you're going to really enjoy this. Jessie. It's
are coming right up. What's up? I recently saw you
(07:25):
in a speaking engagement and told you that I was
in one of your videos, your hip hop videos so
shake like a white girl. I didn't know that, and
that's blowing my mind. I love that. Who do we
call to find out if I actually like a man?
It as an extra? If you can see I remember
dancing on a box or a cage or something, which
is what I always do. Obviously, I'm going to go
through all the records. I'm gonna go through all the
(07:47):
footage that would be vintage. Well, I was de footage.
Now I might be a footage. You're always a footage. Bethany.
What's up? How did you end up in that video?
I was trying to be an actress and I think
it was like in Culver City and a warehouse or something,
and I just probably came in as an extra. Unbelievable.
I know it's so funny, but um, I was aware
of you because I'm from New York and I was
(08:08):
aware of go New York or New York go for
the nick song, which is such an interesting innovative way
to find your way in. And you're like me and
that you don't plan your whole journey. You just sort
of execute things that you like to do. But that's
an interesting entry point into the music industry. So how
did that come about? Well, I was signed to a
record company right out of college. Like I had a
really unconventional journey. I went to American University, I got
(08:31):
signed to a record label. Like everybody was doing resumes
and I'm like, I don't need a resume. I'm getting
a record deal you're talking about. So while they were
busy writing resumes and everything, I was like going to
clubs and trying to figure out how to navigate this
music thing. I got signed to a record label in
l A called Delicious Vinyl that had Tone loc Wild Thing,
Funky Colbadina, and Young MC bust to Move, and it
(08:53):
didn't work for me. I got dropped from the label.
I mean, my album came out, but it wasn't Tone
Loc level. So I moved back in New York where
I was from, and I was bouncing around couch to
couch on my friend's couches trying to figure out what
I would do next. And someone asked me if I
would write a jingle for a clothing company called in
the Paint that was owned by the GM of the
(09:13):
Knick's wife. I did it. And then I got a
great relationship with and I'm like, well, why don't we
do something for the Knicks, Like you guys have dancers
Nick City dancers and everything is shifting to entertainment in
the game. Let's do a song. And I wrote the
song for the nixt back. Yeah, Now, could you make
real money doing that or that just like a street
cred type of thing. Well, back then they paid me
(09:34):
four thousand dollars, but it cost me forty dollars to
do the song, so it wasn't a great business model.
But I would have paid him ten grand because now
all of a sudden, I could get meetings. I had
a story people wanted to you know, I was interesting.
You know, you gotta be, you know, better than anyone.
You gotta build your story first. So so that's what
I did. You have to build your story first, and
(09:55):
you gotta be building the plane while flying in And
I see a lot of parallels. The show is about
game changers, mavericks, non traditional business people, people who create
a brand and just sort of take their own route.
Because I feel like for people at home, it's good
for them to know that there's, by no means one
road to this there's so many roads, which you're the
perfect example. The thing is, you were so young, and
I remember being did you where did you grow up
(10:16):
in Long Island? Was it Long Island? Russell? And I
went to Wheatley, So I lived in Old Westbury for
a certain period of time, in the next town, and
in Long Island, you know, you heard about the other
kids shaken and moving, and there weren't that many. But
I remember this was a thing where I had peripherally
heard about your record deal. I was aware, you know,
peripherally about this uh Knicks thing. But that's pretty young
(10:38):
to have any idea what you would want to do.
At that age, I had no idea what I wanted
to do. I mean not until I was way later,
and I still in my late thirties. I didn't have
this clear plan. And even though your plan is always changed,
which people need to know, because you could want to
do one thing in one moment and then that takes
you to the next space. Like all roads lead to Rome,
you just gotta be watching the signs, looking for the
(10:59):
left and right turns with you get shut down where
you hit a roadblock, creating that until yes, so you're
so like me, in that way, you just are like
a scrappy hustler that you're just looking for which road
it's gonna take you too. So how did you get
that so early? Is that a family thing? Is that
just inside of you as a combo? What's that about? Well,
we both you and I both like adventure and we
(11:21):
love we crave newness, and we get bored easily action.
We get we're action freaks. I'm not like, we're not adrenaline.
We're action freaks. Action. And you know, it's so funny
that you said that, because I don't know what I wanted.
I'm fifty almost fifty three. I have still don't know
really what my legacy should be and what I want
to do. But after the record deal and being a
rapper four years later out a private jet company that
(11:44):
did five billion dollars in sales, I went from kiddie
pool attendant to rapper to all of a sudden being
a guest under private the plane. My dad owned the
plumbing supply house in Minneola. Oh really, and my parents
were the first parents. They bought the fourth house in
rosalind Like when we're building up the community Roth Grand four.
That's a rich person's town now everybody, and it has
(12:05):
been for a while. But when he's talking about is
crazy because houses in Rosin can be five ten million
dollars easily, right, You want to hear the craziest thing, Bethany,
And I'm just I'm gonna talk to you as a friend.
I was at my parents house in Florida two weeks
ago and I found an autobiography that my grandfather wrote.
I didn't know it existed. He wrote in ninety eight.
My grandfather was born into like insane poverty. He had
(12:27):
twelve brothers and sisters. Six died before the age of two,
and he was in World War One. He was gassed
in World War One, survived, grew up in Brooklyn in
the same house as my father and my great grandfather,
three generations in one room in in a paint shop
in Brooklyn. The only reason why I'm bringing it up
is I'm one generation removed from that. That one generation
(12:51):
from that, And like what it makes me think is
everybody listening like we're all one idea away from changing
our life. Where one sale were one referral are saying,
and you and I we're very similar that we're always
looking for that we're asking the universe we're aware of,
like what can I do? What's new, what's different? You
know what problem can I solve? And don't let the
(13:14):
market tell you what to do. You decide. Like the
Skinny Girl Margarita, everyone said was not going to work
because it had never happened before. But you have to
make it happen. It's you. You've got to drive what
the market's gonna do. You tell them what they want.
They don't tell you what they want because it's already
been done. If they're telling you what people want, right.
(13:38):
What's interesting is you said that you cost you to
do that song, which really was a big break for you,
because for many people here, street credit is way more
important than money. If you can get yourself into a
room and people will know your name or have heard
your story, as you said before, that's worth so much
more than money. So I sold Skinny Girl cocktails only
(13:59):
I maintain the entire our brand. I own Skinny Girl
the rest of the brand. But I sold that not
for the money for the street cred. Like to not
just be a housewift, to be somebody who's on the
cover of Forbes magazine and could get into rooms and
do other things. So it sounds like you had some
instinct inside of you that knew that you needed to
get the sizzle and to be somebody. Yeah. I mean,
I always believe that people buy into people stories and
(14:21):
momentum more than products. And once you got that storyline
of Skinny Girl, to change the complexion of what you
can do, you went to philanthropists, investor consultants, speaker author
because you you know, you flipped the script on them,
and that's really important to me. So yeah, so I'm
always looking for that. And the thing that you said
it's interesting is when you're disruptive, like when you have
(14:41):
an idea and you find white space. Usually the people
that find the white space like you did with Skinny Girl,
they don't have experience and they're not experts. You are
an expert in our beverages like that. You don't know anything.
You know, you went to clubs, by the way, that's
better when you don't know anything. You have a blank
campus you could painted and no one's told you everything.
(15:02):
I never would have gone into that business if I
had ever been into a big, big box liquor store
before I did the first one of a signing, and
I walked on and said, what the fund did I
do this for? So competitive? Why would I do this?
But I didn't know anything, So you didn't know anything
going into music nixt song jets. I mean, that's a
crazy thing, but it guarantees that you're going to do
it differently from everybody else, because like you were forced
(15:23):
to rip up the playbook, you know, and that's where
innovation comes from. When you rip up the playbook. We're like, well,
no one taught me how to do it, How am
I going to do it? How am I going to
market it? How am I going to be loud? You know?
So for anyone that that's starting something new, you're gonna
get met with resistance. If it's such a good idea, bethany,
how come the other girls have the big companies haven't
done it. How Come this one hasn't done it. So
(15:44):
you have to expect that resistance and be resilient. So
I've been able to pivot from music to aviation and
then Zico Coconut Water was my next venture. We sold
it to Coke and you know, I get bored easily,
and it's not about like success to me, isn't like
oh all this money. Success is being good in multiple buckets,
(16:05):
check in the box and crushing it. But you also
you finish it. You want to take that one thing,
like your hundred mile run, you're living with a Navy seal,
whatever you're doing. You want to take that one thing,
crush that spiked the ball, and then decide whether you
want to go back to the tables or get out
of the casino. But you decide. It sounds like, you know,
it sounds like what you're talking about is execution. And
(16:27):
if anything you do do well, you want your pa
on say by the bell, which I was getting coffee,
making copies, You be the best. You make a meal
for your family, you planned a party of people over
do a writer, just don't do it. I would rather
I was no great, I do do it or I don't.
If you don't have Olympic standards for yourself and everything
you do, it's like why even bother? You know, like,
(16:50):
if you're not gonna pour your soul into it, don't
even show up. And I'm not even talking about like business.
I'm not going to your kids soccer game. I'm talking
about like right a book, writing a proposal in a sale,
if you're not gonna pour everything into it, it's a
waste of time. The competition is too good. Can't get
away with it. Like I'm old school with the hard
(17:10):
work thing. It's just the same as your grandfather or
your father working in a plumbing supply store. You got
to work your fucking ass off passion, drive and determination,
and you somehow just well you don't somehow because of
your heritage and the way you were raised. You know
that inside. Yeah, And I think the other thing I
would add to that is, you know, I've never negotiated
my goals, Like I don't dummy down my goals, like,
(17:33):
well I'm almost there, that's good enough. And we don't
negotiate our goals. And honestly, man, I've always believed in
the end of my story. I've always believed when I
was single, that she would show up, you know. I
believe that, like when I when I was sleeping on
my friend's couches that, like I used to say to myself, Bethany,
like I met you at a super Bowl party? Which
(17:55):
super Bowl the Miami one. We were in Miami. We
were at a club, and you you were like doing
your own thing, you know, like every it was like
I don't want to say it was clicky or anything
like that, but you kind of you had this you
had a strong confidence and you were just like people
knew you. I was like, who's that girl? And they're
(18:15):
like this and then they someone knew you and knew
your dad and the horse, like they knew the history
and they told me, and I was like, that's that's
like different, you know, that's like very different than the
girls in Long Island that like I know you know so,
but that's where I first, Um, where I first, I
think I first got to know you. That's so funny. Yeah,
well you basically are talking about good enough isn't good enough?
(18:36):
And so I want to talk about Marky Jets just
because how the hell do you get into the jet business?
Would you get the money for that? Like what that
you were early in that right? Like were you before?
You were before nuts Jets and like Blue Star and
all this other stuff. You were like one of the
first ones. We were early, not before nut Jets because
they kind of paved the way for everybody, but before
(18:57):
the other companies you mentioned, Um, yeah, we I was
a guest on a private plane. I was twenty eight
with my partner. We were a guest on an airplane
and we were like, when I walked onto the plane,
it was like the scene in The Wizard of Oz
when everything goes from black and white to color. I
was like, what, you know, like people fly like this
and I want to fly like this. So literally, by
(19:18):
the time we landed, were like, let's start a private
jet company so we can fly privately when we travel.
So we started investigating it and then you know, like
we weren't gonna buy our own plane. Charter wasn't an option,
and we came up with this idea to sell like
basically give people the benefits of owning their own airplane
without owning it and selling a jet card that was
made an airplane available on short notice. And we pitched
(19:41):
this idea because we needed airplanes. We had no money,
we had no experience, but we took a meeting with
net Jets that had six and fifty airplanes, the biggest
private jet fleet in the world, owned by Warren Buffett,
and the first meeting they kicked us out. The owner
literally said, I'm not giving two kids who probably didn't
break a thousand on their sayt s access to my plane,
(20:01):
which pissed me. I got a okay, so he was right,
he was close. I'm like, I don't blame your money.
But on the way out, the President was like, there's
something here, Like I see something here. Why don't you
come back and bring this to life. I'll give you
another shot. So we brought in our own focus group.
A week later, we brought in eight people. We brought
in one of the New York giants run from run DMC,
(20:23):
a powerful female real estate mogul, and one by one
they stood up and said they wouldn't buy a fraction,
but they would buy a jet card and he gave
us a deal. Wow, but that's so creative. You're very creative,
you're very innovative, creative, you're you're you're you're scrappy. Well
here's the thing, man, it's probably like you know, a
gazillion meetings every day. If you don't make your important
(20:43):
meetings stand out, they're gonna get lost. Like I said,
we're not going to negotiate down the goal like we had.
We don't have a choice. Man. We got to convince
them no, you're a fucking figure it out type of
person and get in the end zone. You're just like,
I'm getting that ball into Danzel. I'm not sure how
doing it. I'm the same way. I'm like I I
and what happens to me is I get stressed out
in the minu sha and in the weeds. I only
(21:04):
swept the small stuff, but the minute it gets really intense.
Like that's why I could sort of feel myself calm
down because I'm just gonna figure this fucking shit out.
I'm like that, but I think I take it one
step further, not better, but one step further in the
sense that um, I always like to me, it's done.
I'm just filling in the blanks. Like I had a
(21:24):
record deal. In my head. Before I had the record deal,
I used to walk into my office when I was
twenty four. I was making thirty three thousand dollars a year,
and I used to tell my partner, we're millionaires. Man,
just nobody paid us yet. Like we're millionaires. They haven't
paid us yet. We were we have a private jet company.
We just got to find the airplanes. I ran the
hundred mile race fifty thousand times in my head. Before
(21:46):
the race, it was done, I had to just fill
in the script. I get that. I like that. There's
no wrong decision or right decision. It's like cooking. You
pick you're using basil, oregano or parsley. Pick one. Go
down that lane, make that fucking lane work. There's so
many ways to get there, and you're even if you
make a mistake and you are jammed up. Sometimes you
have to fold in something, but for the most part
you could kind of figure it out. Or that means
(22:07):
that something better is coming, like that road still is okay.
Oh yeah, And I've had plenty of failures. I've had
so much egg on my face along the way, man,
I mean, um, and those those hurt and sting. It's
not as simple as I'm gonna work hard and I'm
gonna believe in it, and I'm not going to negotiate
my goals, you know. But what I have been able
to do is put myself in a position where I
(22:28):
tracked luck Like it doesn't happen Sunday night watching TV
at home. You have to go where the action is.
I agree with the away say you gotta go where
the fish are, and I still do that. And I
lived on eighteen couches when I met you. The first time,
I was staying on my friend's couch even during like
Super Bowl times, I was like still kind of bouncing around.
But I was living in my friend's couch in Burbank, California.
(22:50):
And we went to the Beverly Hills Hotel for lunch
and all the moguls were there, the music moguls, the
movie moguls, the lawyers, all the dealmakers were there. And
I'm king around and I'm like, wait a second, are
you telling me that I can stay at this restaurant
and order a salad and sitting I don't have to
stay at the hotel. You're telling me I can buy
(23:10):
an eight dollar salad and sit here for two hours.
He's like, yeah, we're talking about And that became my office.
That was my office for a year and a half.
I went every day and people started reckoning. I would
not I was super friendly janitor ceo. Everybody gets the handshake.
And I became like, now I'm at the clubs, like
where do I know you from? I think I saw
you at the Beverlie's Hotel. You know, it's putting yourself
(23:33):
in a position where you attract that luck, and I
think you have to do all the blocking and tackling
that everybody does, you know, but you have to do
the extra You gotta play a ten inning game. I
don't live in the past, you know, Like, look, my
window is short, man, I'm fifty three. The average American
lives to be seventy eight. So if I'm average, I
got twenty four summers left. I fucking love summers. You know.
(23:55):
I'm very I'm very aware of my relationship with time,
and I'm also aware that any day can our friends
are getting diagnosed. Now, nobody is invincible. When you do
understand that, that fear of approaching somebody goes away because
you don't get those chances. Again. I'm very aware of
my own mortality and it creates a tremendous amount of
(24:16):
urgency in my life. And I'm a much bigger believer.
You know, we're talking about business, but I'm a much
bigger believer in building my life resume more than my
traditional resume. And that's part of the reason why all
these different ventures, Like I don't want to just sell airplanes. Okay, yeah,
that makes me a lot of money, but that doesn't
that The one thing everybody listening to this has is
(24:37):
we want to feel fulfilled we want to feel accomplished.
We're all listening to you for different reasons. We're listening
to you because you're on apologetic. We're listening to because
you're savvy, you're witty, you're connected, you've done it. But
at the end of the day, everybody here they just
want to feel accomplished. And you don't have to be
rich to feel accomplished. You don't have to climb out
(24:57):
Everest to feel accomplished. But you've gotta make yourself proud
of you. And I'm really aware of my time and
how much time I have on this earth. Same I
value time way more than anything else. You cannot wasted.
Time is super important, using it and being present as
a parent, as a business person, as a friend, as
a person wants to have a cocktail and just laugh
(25:17):
and be funny. Whatever you're doing, you have to be
present in it. I would trade five million followers for
fifty people at my funeral that are bawling because of
that connection, you know, I mean, so for me, it's
being good in multiple buckets. Yes, the business element is
super important, but so is friendship, and so is philanthropy,
and so is spending time with your kids and so
(25:40):
is like being a good human and showing up for
you know, so all of those things. As you get older,
when you start to look eighty in the you know,
eight is not that far from us, man, you start
to change, like your perspective. So your twenties and thirties
are a great time to say yes. You say yes
to everything. We were out, and we were at the club,
we were at the super Bowl. But your forty in fifties,
(26:01):
and as you get older, it's a more important time
to say no and to put more on your plate
of what you love to do with the people you
love to do and with. And that's where I'm at
in my journey. It's funny that you mentioned buckets because
(26:24):
I always say I would rap. Now what changes from then,
when time is not that meaningful to you, is that
I would now rather have six buckets full than twelve
half fall Like you know you have a But if
I'm gonna do this business thing, I gotta do it
all the way. It's got to have a big r
o I. If I'm doing this philanthropy thing, it's gotta
be transparent, such a great r o I for people
(26:47):
who are donating and like it makes you feel like
you know where you're supposed to be parenting with your kids,
Like it's such a full, overflowing bucket and it's better
because people try to fit a pounds of ship in
a five pound bag and have their ass and forty
two places for just being like, this is quality over
quantity and people know it. You've got to be diligent
and disciplined about it. Saying no it means yes, you're right.
(27:08):
I'm on friend reduction right now. Oh my god, beyond yes.
Brian Compleman told me that Matt Damon this is the
biggest naming dropping whatever. But Brian Coppman said that Matt
Damon once said to him during shooting Rounders that his
circle was closed. My circle is so close. And it's
also like I'm pulling people out of the circle. I
fully agree it's not worth it. I don't want more.
(27:30):
I want you know. I try to tell my daughter,
don't worry about these girls are being mean girls. You're
only gonna want two to three friends that are great
in your life, and you're gonna know that. You come dispassionate,
like you just don't care. I don't want to go there.
Why because I don't want to go. I don't want
to do it. You want the lowest, especially as you
get older, but you want low aggravation for high If
it's high aggravation high reward, it's not worth it, even
(27:52):
in business. At this point in your life, Bethany, you
don't want high aggravation, even if it's high reward in business.
You've already checked the box. And then you also mentioned
r o I. You're hitting all the things that I
love to talk about. But you know, r o I
comes in so many different forms. It's not just like
and you mentioned in philanthropy, making people feel good about
what they give. R o I is just people think, oh,
(28:14):
what's my return on investment in money? But r o
I could be like, man, you know, I ran this
hundred mile race and my mom's like, why are you
doing this? It's gonna I'm because it's good for my soul.
That's an r o I. I'm doing a documentary right
now called Serial Killers about serial the serial business, and um,
I don't even want to make a penny. I'm doing
it because it's the r o I. For me, is
(28:36):
the message that I want to get out there. So
r o I comes on a lot of different ways.
There's a lot of reasons to weigh whether or not
you should do something, and it's not all financial. Yep.
You love to connect, you love to speak publicly. I've
seen it, I do it. I get it. It's invigorating.
It's also since you your circle is closing too. You're
(28:57):
not around that many people. I feel like it gives
you of s electricities engage when it moves things around
the room, You're not just in your own head. It's
like working out a wrap with other people listening. You're
kind of figuring out what works don't. Don't you agree,
Like that's what's going on. You're connecting in such a
personal way. Well, there's a famous study they did with
all these billionaires where they interviewed um dozens of billionaires
(29:18):
and asked what their biggest regret was, and in the
top three of their regrets was not being in the
present moment, you know, like either thinking I wish I
made more money on that deal, I wish I could
go back and do that, or thinking ahead and I
think you know, for me, I lived on a monastery
with eight monks that have been there for fifty years,
(29:38):
and one of the things. One of the main takeaways
from me, and there were a lot, was that the
monks were always where their feet are, like they were
never ahead of like if they were cleaning the floor,
they cleaned the floor man like it was the only thing,
and then they would go to the next task. And
I've been taught to multitask, Oh do this, and you
(29:59):
gotta do this. My to do list is fucking through
the roof. They didn't do that. They had to do list,
and they were when when the thing on there doue
list was done, they crusted it off. They never ever
looked back on it, and they went to the next thing.
So the way I set up my day, everyone's a
morning routines. Morning routines. Morning routines are reporting. My day
starts the night before. I map out my entire day.
(30:19):
I'm on the call with Dethany until we're done, and
then right after that, I have a thing with my
kids for one hour, and then it's what one o'clock,
I'm going here, three o'clock. Here, I'm following the script.
But the day before you're mapping out the future. It's interesting,
who's good enough? Do you think anyone's good enough to
wake up and wing it. It's interesting. First of all,
the book Power of Now is about that emotionally, meaning,
(30:40):
nothing's that bad in this moment, Like in this moment
is okay we always were. That's gonna happen. What's gonna happen.
I'm not gonna make money. I'm not gonna make it.
I'm gonna lose that. That's gonna happen. Everybody does that,
and it's a great note. And it's a hard discipline
to practice. But to get in the car with a
plan of where the hell you're going, even though you
might get derailed, is a better idea to get in
the car and out of an idea. It was what
you're saying, Um, so you're are you obsessed with fitness
(31:02):
and health? I mean, a hundred miles is excessive. It's
lifestyle for me. It's not discipline. It's not a chore.
It's what I do. I eat a certain way. You know,
I'm basically a fruitarian. I run every day terry and
I don't even know that, And so, wow, that's that's crazy.
So what is that basically I eat? I eat a
(31:22):
lot of fruit. I only eat fruit until noon. For
thirty years, I've only had fruit until noon, and then
I start to eat regular foods after that. But I
really now have extended fruit only to almost like five o'clock,
So most of my diet is fruit. And what does
that feel like? Or you don't even know anymore. I
don't even know what it feels like. I was telling
someone the other day to not have boundless energy. I
(31:42):
don't know what it feels like, like, oh, I'm so tired,
I can't do that. I don't know. I've missed a
day of work knock on wood in thirty years. Like,
I don't even know what the other side feels like
when people tell me they have pain to this. So,
I have four kids. I'm never too tired for my kids.
That's a rule that I have. So it's a lifestyle
out for me. You know, you said, well, running a
hundred miles I started off. My goal was to run
(32:04):
two miles. That was it. I wanted to run two miles.
Nothing in my body changed. These are the same legs
guy gave me. I'm not very strong, um, but I
was able to go from two miles to a hundred
miles and the only thing that changed was my mind.
And that sounds so simple and whatever, but it's true.
So that means that I fifty x my goal. So
(32:26):
I want to fifty x my business. I want to
fifty x my relationships. I want to fifty x everything
in my life. And when I saw people running a
hundred miles, I'm like, which I saw it first? I
went to a race, and I'm like, they don't look
any different than me. They're just not stopping. My whole
world changed. I'm like, I'm thinking, small man. So now
once I ran a hundred miles, when I take people
(32:48):
from from couch to a marathon, no problem. And when
they're done, the first thing I tell them is double
your business plan. You just realized, you just realized you
could do something you never thought you could do. And
that's what this is for me. That self doubt is
the number one enemy to success. So your wife is
very successful, you're very successful. What two questions? One is
(33:10):
your what was your most successful venture? Was it Zekeo?
Was it mar Keys? What was your your in the
hole Marquis jet? Okay? So MARKI Jett. I mean we
did five billion dollars in sales and we sold it
to Warren Buffett's. You know Berkshire House. So you were
freaking out then you were just like, Wow, I'm real.
I was freaking out from day one. This whole journey
has been like I can't I said to myself the
(33:31):
other day. Yesterday I literally said to my family, I
can't believe how fucking lucky I am. I didn't say
the F word, even even the friends, the people that
I've met, the runs I've been able to do, the
adventures I've gone on, the monks that I've lived with,
all of it. I'm just like, how did my life
resume to get to be so fulfilled? You know, Well,
(33:51):
you're in a magical house. You're in a magical partnership.
I don't mean I know what the ins and outs
your relationship are like, but there's a lot going on
in that house creatively, mentally, energet what's the dynamic in
your relationship with regards to two powerful personalities money gender?
That is kind of my last question about that and
your family and whatever else you want to mention, but
(34:12):
that kind of thing, what goes on in your house
and your relationship as it pertains to money and power
and gender. Well, Sarah's journey its banks is similar to mine.
In the sense that we started kind of young, and
we've we both were self um sustaining, you know, as
we got married, so it takes a lot of pressure
off of it. So in some ways it made everything easier.
But um, we're very different, like insanely different, and I
(34:35):
think that's important. Actually, there's a lot of research around
that you don't want to marry around marriages that are successful,
that people that aren't exactly the same. Everyone's like, oh,
you gotta marry your soul meet. Agreed, And I'm my
fiance and I are very different too, totally different temperaments. Congratulations,
by the way, thank you. We're very different, but we
have the same values. And I think the most important
thing is she gives me a long leash. If she's
(34:56):
told me I can't run, I have to go to
the opera, I'd resent her. If I told her you
can't work on a new product because we got it,
she resent me. So we we both give each other
long leashes to do the things we love. For me
that speaking and we're running and all this other stuff.
And we spend time together, but we also spend time alone,
(35:17):
and like that's really important. Age. Yeah, so you know,
and I don't know. Everyone's different, every relationship is different,
and we have our challenges just like everybody else. But
those things that I think are important. And then the
last thing I would say is we check in with
each other all the time, and they're not transactional check
ins to take the garbage out? Did you do the laundry?
We check in about like how's your day going? Yeah,
(35:38):
like how you are right? Like And there's a ton
of research around that too, about the importance of just
daily check ins. Wow, okay, I like that. Who's the peacock?
It sounds like it might be us only one peacock
in a relationship, So it sounds like you're the peacock.
What do you mean by peacock? There's one person that's
blewming their feathers more. That's like the free spirit that
it sounds like you're the peacock. She's more granular and like, no, no,
with that, I'm a double peacock. Yeah, same, same, I'm
(36:02):
a flock of peacocks, flock of cox Right, it's good
energy between us, and it was great. You're amazing and
interesting and you're honest, and I just like your conviction,
and um, say, how do your kids and have a
great quality day with them. I'm gonna go roller skating
with my daughter or go on the zip line, and
that's the point. I'm done now, and that's the second
I lave. I'm going to do is zip line and
(36:23):
trampoline right too. I love it. Well, thanks for having
me on, Bethany appreciate it. What unexpected journeys we take
on this podcast, talking to people about their life, their parenting,
their money, their childhood, their success, their stories, their failures.
Jesse was open. We could have talked for hours, which
(36:45):
is great, and I just love that you just never
know what or who you're going to get. And I'm
getting so many amazing comments from you about people that
you've never even heard of, that you just can't believe
how fascinating and interesting are and what great stories they have.
I mean, Paul, my fiance this morning, said, you know,
I love the nor mcmali episode, and I didn't even
(37:06):
know who she was, but it was so compelling and
such a great story. So you're gonna learn a lot.
I love if there's a lot of takeaway here. I've
got interesting people that have definitely done something that you
may not even know, so remember to rate, review and subscribe.
I appreciate you, Thank you. Just B is hosted an
(37:28):
executive produced by me, Bethany Frankel. Just Be as a
production of be Real Productions and I Heart Radio. Our
Managing Producer is Fiona Smith and our producer is Stephanie Stender.
Our EP is Morgan Levoy. To catch more moments from
the show, follow us on Instagram at just Be with
Bethany
I went to dinner yesterday at a really nice in
like a country in right after getting uh, my first reaccination,
and this girl comes over, Hi, how are you sparkling
or still? Which is always the question, obviously sparkling or still?
And then if she says sparkling or still, my committing
to non tap water, and then I always have to
(00:33):
feel degraded by being like, um, I'll just get the
tap water. And then you say, and I'll have a
glass of rose. You're walking into a place it's a pandemic,
and you just want to get your drink order in.
You want to be out in thirty six minutes, and
so you say the wine to Okay, I'm just gonna
get your water first, and then I'll come back for
the drink order. I'm like, okay, I didn't mean to
inundate you, overwhelm you. I didn't mean if you have
(00:54):
a multitask with the rose order, we'll see in a minute.
Then they come back okay, Um, so have you dined
with us before? Yes, even though I really don't lie,
but like I have to say yes, because then we're
going through the whole diatribe of no, we do things
(01:14):
differently here I'm like, oh, really, do I go in
the kitchen and the white jacket and cook the food
and you're gonna eat it? How different could it be?
Let me know, how do you do it differently? Okay? Um,
the small items those are in the top portion, and
those are like you know, smaller portions more and maybe
like the top is the larger items those are really
(01:35):
we encourage sharing, like what okay, So we'll decide if
we're gonna share, and we have to share. I wasn't
ready to share, but we could share if we wanted to.
So I was with up Paul the other day and
he doesn't like any sort of green vegetable. He likes
roasted potatoes. He doesn't like far oh keen, water braised fennel,
(01:55):
braised kale, oakrah, Brussels sprouts. At a mom a liam
a bean and poor Paul ordered chicken scarporella, which is
like a basic thing. And it was like, it's got
to always be like a boat on the sea and
like the sea was purade, but it's never mashed potatoes anymore.
It's like mashed potato puree. So I feel like that's healthy,
but it's not. It's just like puraing some other starch
(02:15):
vegetable with butter and milk and like making it a bed.
And then on top of that was like the soupy,
oily sautet spinach, and I did say that he doesn't
like vegetables, and they allowed me to order a side
of spinach. And then my cheap side comes in because
now I'm like, now I've got a side of spinach.
I'm gonna eat your spinach. We are long spinach. And
he's now gonna cut into the chicken and it gets
soggy from what's underneath. And we can't just have the
(02:36):
chicken separate. Can everybody just be separate? We could decide
who we want to put together. We're not into blended
families on our plates. So he said, ahead of time,
is it possible for the chicken that I could just
get roasted potatoes? And she's like, the roasted potatoes come
with the sear duck breast. He's like, right, can I
just get some from that? And I don't need any
(02:57):
of my stuff. I'm giving up broccoli, rob okra and
parsnip pure, which my fiancee Bethany tells me is way
more expensive than just roasted potatoes. No, we can't. Sorry,
so she said, they come in components, like they come
with their friends. So if like the duck breast came
with saute string beans and roasted potatoes and let's say
(03:18):
okra or sucotash, that's a unit their family there, like
an adopted family of children. We don't separate them, like
we don't want to separate them and move them to
different states. So we're like, okay, So I'm like, well,
Paul doesn't love vegetables, but we'll take that family. Can
we trade that family for the family that came with
the chicken, and we'll take the whole family and we'll
separate them within our household. I'll eat the bullshit on
the side, really eat the brand new potatoes, and then
(03:41):
can we do that? And she's like, of course, well
I'm gonna try that for you. Of course, no, no,
no problem at all. And then the voice gets higher
and she's super nice. But I feel like she hates me.
And we weren't being like Harry met Sally at all.
We're just like asking basic questions. I promise. I'm like,
thank you so much, and now I'm passive aggressive, but
I thank you so much. Oh my god, you look
so pretty. Oh my god, the things are so great.
It's wonderful. The decor and here is amazing. So then
(04:04):
at the end of the meal, and we're good tippers.
I'm not saying we're like ninety percent tippers, but I'm
like a thirty five percent tipper for a good tip.
It's a pandemic and it's just never seems right, and
it always means more to them and it means to me.
So sometimes you can ask the waitress if they could
give us to the coach check person because they're like
walking past there, anyone walking you know a way. Maybe
that's wrong and I don't actually know the answer to that,
but you know, would you mind giving it to them?
(04:26):
Oh it's right down there, you know, as you leave
to the door. I was a cocktail waitress, and um,
do you know what I mean about this? Pastive? Aggressive,
like overly nice, high pitched voice, And you can't say
anything bad about it because it's nice, but it's not nice.
Thank you? Yes, I will. God, you know, I mean,
(04:47):
we don't really do that here. Yeah, I can ask
the chef, but I just we're not being on substitutions
or chef has a very strict policy. But thank you
so much. Have a great day. Yeah, okay, amazing. By
the way, we could do ten minutes on passive aggressive,
just like if you want to be passive aggressive but
not get tagged for it and still be in trouble,
(05:07):
like get your expressions out without road rage. Like, yeah,
I don't know, I we Yeah, well, I'm just thinking
maybe we do this a different way, but like we're
(05:28):
not really set up for that. I don't really specialize
in that. Yeah, and it may not happen today, it
may not happen any day, but we really want to
help you. Well, let me know what you all think.
I've been getting a lot of comments about the rants
and that you love the interviews but that you almost
wish the whole thing with the rants. But the funny
(05:50):
thing is the rants are like never prepared. I literally
send one, sent it to my assistant. I'm like, past
bag people, and then this is what happens. And I
was speaking to Jeff Ross the Face a Miss Rosemaster
General on the phone last night. He's like, well, how
do you prepare? Who writes the rants for You'm like, what,
who writes anything for me? Nothing? Just to get on
it started ranting, So there you go. Jesse Etsler is
(06:17):
here today. He is an entrepreneur and author, a keynote speaker.
He's a motivational speaker. I've seen him. He really gets
crowds going. He's a former rapper on MTV. I incidentally,
which he didn't even realize, was an extra in one
of his videos called Shake like a White Girl. Um,
and I remember somewhere someone said to me, you dance
(06:39):
like you're white, and I said, I am white, So
that m that would make sense. He's the co founder
of Marquee Jet, a partner in Zico Coconut Water, the
founder of the one hundred Mile Group, and owner of
the NBA's Atlanta Hawks. But he started from humble beginnings
in New York. Today we talked about the importance of
having the mindset of success, how people buy into stories
(07:01):
more than products, and why you should rip up the
playbook to succeed, and also how you are only one
idea away from changing your life. He's very inspiring and
I think you're going to really enjoy this. Jessie. It's
are coming right up. What's up? I recently saw you
(07:25):
in a speaking engagement and told you that I was
in one of your videos, your hip hop videos so
shake like a white girl. I didn't know that, and
that's blowing my mind. I love that. Who do we
call to find out if I actually like a man?
It as an extra? If you can see I remember
dancing on a box or a cage or something, which
is what I always do. Obviously, I'm going to go
through all the records. I'm gonna go through all the
(07:47):
footage that would be vintage. Well, I was de footage.
Now I might be a footage. You're always a footage. Bethany.
What's up? How did you end up in that video?
I was trying to be an actress and I think
it was like in Culver City and a warehouse or something,
and I just probably came in as an extra. Unbelievable.
I know it's so funny, but um, I was aware
of you because I'm from New York and I was
(08:08):
aware of go New York or New York go for
the nick song, which is such an interesting innovative way
to find your way in. And you're like me and
that you don't plan your whole journey. You just sort
of execute things that you like to do. But that's
an interesting entry point into the music industry. So how
did that come about? Well, I was signed to a
record company right out of college. Like I had a
really unconventional journey. I went to American University, I got
(08:31):
signed to a record label. Like everybody was doing resumes
and I'm like, I don't need a resume. I'm getting
a record deal you're talking about. So while they were
busy writing resumes and everything, I was like going to
clubs and trying to figure out how to navigate this
music thing. I got signed to a record label in
l A called Delicious Vinyl that had Tone loc Wild Thing,
Funky Colbadina, and Young MC bust to Move, and it
(08:53):
didn't work for me. I got dropped from the label.
I mean, my album came out, but it wasn't Tone
Loc level. So I moved back in New York where
I was from, and I was bouncing around couch to
couch on my friend's couches trying to figure out what
I would do next. And someone asked me if I
would write a jingle for a clothing company called in
the Paint that was owned by the GM of the
(09:13):
Knick's wife. I did it. And then I got a
great relationship with and I'm like, well, why don't we
do something for the Knicks, Like you guys have dancers
Nick City dancers and everything is shifting to entertainment in
the game. Let's do a song. And I wrote the
song for the nixt back. Yeah, Now, could you make
real money doing that or that just like a street
cred type of thing. Well, back then they paid me
(09:34):
four thousand dollars, but it cost me forty dollars to
do the song, so it wasn't a great business model.
But I would have paid him ten grand because now
all of a sudden, I could get meetings. I had
a story people wanted to you know, I was interesting.
You know, you gotta be, you know, better than anyone.
You gotta build your story first. So so that's what
I did. You have to build your story first, and
(09:55):
you gotta be building the plane while flying in And
I see a lot of parallels. The show is about
game changers, mavericks, non traditional business people, people who create
a brand and just sort of take their own route.
Because I feel like for people at home, it's good
for them to know that there's, by no means one
road to this there's so many roads, which you're the
perfect example. The thing is, you were so young, and
I remember being did you where did you grow up
(10:16):
in Long Island? Was it Long Island? Russell? And I
went to Wheatley, So I lived in Old Westbury for
a certain period of time, in the next town, and
in Long Island, you know, you heard about the other
kids shaken and moving, and there weren't that many. But
I remember this was a thing where I had peripherally
heard about your record deal. I was aware, you know,
peripherally about this uh Knicks thing. But that's pretty young
(10:38):
to have any idea what you would want to do.
At that age, I had no idea what I wanted
to do. I mean not until I was way later,
and I still in my late thirties. I didn't have
this clear plan. And even though your plan is always changed,
which people need to know, because you could want to
do one thing in one moment and then that takes
you to the next space. Like all roads lead to Rome,
you just gotta be watching the signs, looking for the
(10:59):
left and right turns with you get shut down where
you hit a roadblock, creating that until yes, so you're
so like me, in that way, you just are like
a scrappy hustler that you're just looking for which road
it's gonna take you too. So how did you get
that so early? Is that a family thing? Is that
just inside of you as a combo? What's that about? Well,
we both you and I both like adventure and we
(11:21):
love we crave newness, and we get bored easily action.
We get we're action freaks. I'm not like, we're not adrenaline.
We're action freaks. Action. And you know, it's so funny
that you said that, because I don't know what I wanted.
I'm fifty almost fifty three. I have still don't know
really what my legacy should be and what I want
to do. But after the record deal and being a
rapper four years later out a private jet company that
(11:44):
did five billion dollars in sales, I went from kiddie
pool attendant to rapper to all of a sudden being
a guest under private the plane. My dad owned the
plumbing supply house in Minneola. Oh really, and my parents
were the first parents. They bought the fourth house in
rosalind Like when we're building up the community Roth Grand four.
That's a rich person's town now everybody, and it has
(12:05):
been for a while. But when he's talking about is
crazy because houses in Rosin can be five ten million
dollars easily, right, You want to hear the craziest thing, Bethany,
And I'm just I'm gonna talk to you as a friend.
I was at my parents house in Florida two weeks
ago and I found an autobiography that my grandfather wrote.
I didn't know it existed. He wrote in ninety eight.
My grandfather was born into like insane poverty. He had
(12:27):
twelve brothers and sisters. Six died before the age of two,
and he was in World War One. He was gassed
in World War One, survived, grew up in Brooklyn in
the same house as my father and my great grandfather,
three generations in one room in in a paint shop
in Brooklyn. The only reason why I'm bringing it up
is I'm one generation removed from that. That one generation
(12:51):
from that, And like what it makes me think is
everybody listening like we're all one idea away from changing
our life. Where one sale were one referral are saying,
and you and I we're very similar that we're always
looking for that we're asking the universe we're aware of,
like what can I do? What's new, what's different? You
know what problem can I solve? And don't let the
(13:14):
market tell you what to do. You decide. Like the
Skinny Girl Margarita, everyone said was not going to work
because it had never happened before. But you have to
make it happen. It's you. You've got to drive what
the market's gonna do. You tell them what they want.
They don't tell you what they want because it's already
been done. If they're telling you what people want, right.
(13:38):
What's interesting is you said that you cost you to
do that song, which really was a big break for you,
because for many people here, street credit is way more
important than money. If you can get yourself into a
room and people will know your name or have heard
your story, as you said before, that's worth so much
more than money. So I sold Skinny Girl cocktails only
(13:59):
I maintain the entire our brand. I own Skinny Girl
the rest of the brand. But I sold that not
for the money for the street cred. Like to not
just be a housewift, to be somebody who's on the
cover of Forbes magazine and could get into rooms and
do other things. So it sounds like you had some
instinct inside of you that knew that you needed to
get the sizzle and to be somebody. Yeah. I mean,
I always believe that people buy into people stories and
(14:21):
momentum more than products. And once you got that storyline
of Skinny Girl, to change the complexion of what you
can do, you went to philanthropists, investor consultants, speaker author
because you you know, you flipped the script on them,
and that's really important to me. So yeah, so I'm
always looking for that. And the thing that you said
it's interesting is when you're disruptive, like when you have
(14:41):
an idea and you find white space. Usually the people
that find the white space like you did with Skinny Girl,
they don't have experience and they're not experts. You are
an expert in our beverages like that. You don't know anything.
You know, you went to clubs, by the way, that's
better when you don't know anything. You have a blank
campus you could painted and no one's told you everything.
(15:02):
I never would have gone into that business if I
had ever been into a big, big box liquor store
before I did the first one of a signing, and
I walked on and said, what the fund did I
do this for? So competitive? Why would I do this?
But I didn't know anything, So you didn't know anything
going into music nixt song jets. I mean, that's a
crazy thing, but it guarantees that you're going to do
it differently from everybody else, because like you were forced
(15:23):
to rip up the playbook, you know, and that's where
innovation comes from. When you rip up the playbook. We're like, well,
no one taught me how to do it, How am
I going to do it? How am I going to
market it? How am I going to be loud? You know?
So for anyone that that's starting something new, you're gonna
get met with resistance. If it's such a good idea, bethany,
how come the other girls have the big companies haven't
done it. How Come this one hasn't done it. So
(15:44):
you have to expect that resistance and be resilient. So
I've been able to pivot from music to aviation and
then Zico Coconut Water was my next venture. We sold
it to Coke and you know, I get bored easily,
and it's not about like success to me, isn't like
oh all this money. Success is being good in multiple buckets,
(16:05):
check in the box and crushing it. But you also
you finish it. You want to take that one thing,
like your hundred mile run, you're living with a Navy seal,
whatever you're doing. You want to take that one thing,
crush that spiked the ball, and then decide whether you
want to go back to the tables or get out
of the casino. But you decide. It sounds like, you know,
it sounds like what you're talking about is execution. And
(16:27):
if anything you do do well, you want your pa
on say by the bell, which I was getting coffee,
making copies, You be the best. You make a meal
for your family, you planned a party of people over
do a writer, just don't do it. I would rather
I was no great, I do do it or I don't.
If you don't have Olympic standards for yourself and everything
you do, it's like why even bother? You know, like,
(16:50):
if you're not gonna pour your soul into it, don't
even show up. And I'm not even talking about like business.
I'm not going to your kids soccer game. I'm talking
about like right a book, writing a proposal in a sale,
if you're not gonna pour everything into it, it's a
waste of time. The competition is too good. Can't get
away with it. Like I'm old school with the hard
(17:10):
work thing. It's just the same as your grandfather or
your father working in a plumbing supply store. You got
to work your fucking ass off passion, drive and determination,
and you somehow just well you don't somehow because of
your heritage and the way you were raised. You know
that inside. Yeah, And I think the other thing I
would add to that is, you know, I've never negotiated
my goals, Like I don't dummy down my goals, like,
(17:33):
well I'm almost there, that's good enough. And we don't
negotiate our goals. And honestly, man, I've always believed in
the end of my story. I've always believed when I
was single, that she would show up, you know. I
believe that, like when I when I was sleeping on
my friend's couches that, like I used to say to myself, Bethany,
like I met you at a super Bowl party? Which
(17:55):
super Bowl the Miami one. We were in Miami. We
were at a club, and you you were like doing
your own thing, you know, like every it was like
I don't want to say it was clicky or anything
like that, but you kind of you had this you
had a strong confidence and you were just like people
knew you. I was like, who's that girl? And they're
(18:15):
like this and then they someone knew you and knew
your dad and the horse, like they knew the history
and they told me, and I was like, that's that's
like different, you know, that's like very different than the
girls in Long Island that like I know you know so,
but that's where I first, Um, where I first, I
think I first got to know you. That's so funny. Yeah,
well you basically are talking about good enough isn't good enough?
(18:36):
And so I want to talk about Marky Jets just
because how the hell do you get into the jet business?
Would you get the money for that? Like what that
you were early in that right? Like were you before?
You were before nuts Jets and like Blue Star and
all this other stuff. You were like one of the
first ones. We were early, not before nut Jets because
they kind of paved the way for everybody, but before
(18:57):
the other companies you mentioned, Um, yeah, we I was
a guest on a private plane. I was twenty eight
with my partner. We were a guest on an airplane
and we were like, when I walked onto the plane,
it was like the scene in The Wizard of Oz
when everything goes from black and white to color. I
was like, what, you know, like people fly like this
and I want to fly like this. So literally, by
(19:18):
the time we landed, were like, let's start a private
jet company so we can fly privately when we travel.
So we started investigating it and then you know, like
we weren't gonna buy our own plane. Charter wasn't an option,
and we came up with this idea to sell like
basically give people the benefits of owning their own airplane
without owning it and selling a jet card that was
made an airplane available on short notice. And we pitched
(19:41):
this idea because we needed airplanes. We had no money,
we had no experience, but we took a meeting with
net Jets that had six and fifty airplanes, the biggest
private jet fleet in the world, owned by Warren Buffett,
and the first meeting they kicked us out. The owner
literally said, I'm not giving two kids who probably didn't
break a thousand on their sayt s access to my plane,
(20:01):
which pissed me. I got a okay, so he was right,
he was close. I'm like, I don't blame your money.
But on the way out, the President was like, there's
something here, Like I see something here. Why don't you
come back and bring this to life. I'll give you
another shot. So we brought in our own focus group.
A week later, we brought in eight people. We brought
in one of the New York giants run from run DMC,
(20:23):
a powerful female real estate mogul, and one by one
they stood up and said they wouldn't buy a fraction,
but they would buy a jet card and he gave
us a deal. Wow, but that's so creative. You're very creative,
you're very innovative, creative, you're you're you're you're scrappy. Well
here's the thing, man, it's probably like you know, a
gazillion meetings every day. If you don't make your important
(20:43):
meetings stand out, they're gonna get lost. Like I said,
we're not going to negotiate down the goal like we had.
We don't have a choice. Man. We got to convince
them no, you're a fucking figure it out type of
person and get in the end zone. You're just like,
I'm getting that ball into Danzel. I'm not sure how
doing it. I'm the same way. I'm like I I
and what happens to me is I get stressed out
in the minu sha and in the weeds. I only
(21:04):
swept the small stuff, but the minute it gets really intense.
Like that's why I could sort of feel myself calm
down because I'm just gonna figure this fucking shit out.
I'm like that, but I think I take it one
step further, not better, but one step further in the
sense that um, I always like to me, it's done.
I'm just filling in the blanks. Like I had a
(21:24):
record deal. In my head. Before I had the record deal,
I used to walk into my office when I was
twenty four. I was making thirty three thousand dollars a year,
and I used to tell my partner, we're millionaires. Man,
just nobody paid us yet. Like we're millionaires. They haven't
paid us yet. We were we have a private jet company.
We just got to find the airplanes. I ran the
hundred mile race fifty thousand times in my head. Before
(21:46):
the race, it was done, I had to just fill
in the script. I get that. I like that. There's
no wrong decision or right decision. It's like cooking. You
pick you're using basil, oregano or parsley. Pick one. Go
down that lane, make that fucking lane work. There's so
many ways to get there, and you're even if you
make a mistake and you are jammed up. Sometimes you
have to fold in something, but for the most part
you could kind of figure it out. Or that means
(22:07):
that something better is coming, like that road still is okay.
Oh yeah, And I've had plenty of failures. I've had
so much egg on my face along the way, man,
I mean, um, and those those hurt and sting. It's
not as simple as I'm gonna work hard and I'm
gonna believe in it, and I'm not going to negotiate
my goals, you know. But what I have been able
to do is put myself in a position where I
(22:28):
tracked luck Like it doesn't happen Sunday night watching TV
at home. You have to go where the action is.
I agree with the away say you gotta go where
the fish are, and I still do that. And I
lived on eighteen couches when I met you. The first time,
I was staying on my friend's couch even during like
Super Bowl times, I was like still kind of bouncing around.
But I was living in my friend's couch in Burbank, California.
(22:50):
And we went to the Beverly Hills Hotel for lunch
and all the moguls were there, the music moguls, the
movie moguls, the lawyers, all the dealmakers were there. And
I'm king around and I'm like, wait a second, are
you telling me that I can stay at this restaurant
and order a salad and sitting I don't have to
stay at the hotel. You're telling me I can buy
(23:10):
an eight dollar salad and sit here for two hours.
He's like, yeah, we're talking about And that became my office.
That was my office for a year and a half.
I went every day and people started reckoning. I would
not I was super friendly janitor ceo. Everybody gets the handshake.
And I became like, now I'm at the clubs, like
where do I know you from? I think I saw
you at the Beverlie's Hotel. You know, it's putting yourself
(23:33):
in a position where you attract that luck, and I
think you have to do all the blocking and tackling
that everybody does, you know, but you have to do
the extra You gotta play a ten inning game. I
don't live in the past, you know, Like, look, my
window is short, man, I'm fifty three. The average American
lives to be seventy eight. So if I'm average, I
got twenty four summers left. I fucking love summers. You know.
(23:55):
I'm very I'm very aware of my relationship with time,
and I'm also aware that any day can our friends
are getting diagnosed. Now, nobody is invincible. When you do
understand that, that fear of approaching somebody goes away because
you don't get those chances. Again. I'm very aware of
my own mortality and it creates a tremendous amount of
(24:16):
urgency in my life. And I'm a much bigger believer.
You know, we're talking about business, but I'm a much
bigger believer in building my life resume more than my
traditional resume. And that's part of the reason why all
these different ventures, Like I don't want to just sell airplanes. Okay, yeah,
that makes me a lot of money, but that doesn't
that The one thing everybody listening to this has is
(24:37):
we want to feel fulfilled we want to feel accomplished.
We're all listening to you for different reasons. We're listening
to you because you're on apologetic. We're listening to because
you're savvy, you're witty, you're connected, you've done it. But
at the end of the day, everybody here they just
want to feel accomplished. And you don't have to be
rich to feel accomplished. You don't have to climb out
(24:57):
Everest to feel accomplished. But you've gotta make yourself proud
of you. And I'm really aware of my time and
how much time I have on this earth. Same I
value time way more than anything else. You cannot wasted.
Time is super important, using it and being present as
a parent, as a business person, as a friend, as
a person wants to have a cocktail and just laugh
(25:17):
and be funny. Whatever you're doing, you have to be
present in it. I would trade five million followers for
fifty people at my funeral that are bawling because of
that connection, you know, I mean, so for me, it's
being good in multiple buckets. Yes, the business element is
super important, but so is friendship, and so is philanthropy,
and so is spending time with your kids and so
(25:40):
is like being a good human and showing up for
you know, so all of those things. As you get older,
when you start to look eighty in the you know,
eight is not that far from us, man, you start
to change, like your perspective. So your twenties and thirties
are a great time to say yes. You say yes
to everything. We were out, and we were at the club,
we were at the super Bowl. But your forty in fifties,
(26:01):
and as you get older, it's a more important time
to say no and to put more on your plate
of what you love to do with the people you
love to do and with. And that's where I'm at
in my journey. It's funny that you mentioned buckets because
(26:24):
I always say I would rap. Now what changes from then,
when time is not that meaningful to you, is that
I would now rather have six buckets full than twelve
half fall Like you know you have a But if
I'm gonna do this business thing, I gotta do it
all the way. It's got to have a big r
o I. If I'm doing this philanthropy thing, it's gotta
be transparent, such a great r o I for people
(26:47):
who are donating and like it makes you feel like
you know where you're supposed to be parenting with your kids,
Like it's such a full, overflowing bucket and it's better
because people try to fit a pounds of ship in
a five pound bag and have their ass and forty
two places for just being like, this is quality over
quantity and people know it. You've got to be diligent
and disciplined about it. Saying no it means yes, you're right.
(27:08):
I'm on friend reduction right now. Oh my god, beyond yes.
Brian Compleman told me that Matt Damon this is the
biggest naming dropping whatever. But Brian Coppman said that Matt
Damon once said to him during shooting Rounders that his
circle was closed. My circle is so close. And it's
also like I'm pulling people out of the circle. I
fully agree it's not worth it. I don't want more.
(27:30):
I want you know. I try to tell my daughter,
don't worry about these girls are being mean girls. You're
only gonna want two to three friends that are great
in your life, and you're gonna know that. You come dispassionate,
like you just don't care. I don't want to go there.
Why because I don't want to go. I don't want
to do it. You want the lowest, especially as you
get older, but you want low aggravation for high If
it's high aggravation high reward, it's not worth it, even
(27:52):
in business. At this point in your life, Bethany, you
don't want high aggravation, even if it's high reward in business.
You've already checked the box. And then you also mentioned
r o I. You're hitting all the things that I
love to talk about. But you know, r o I
comes in so many different forms. It's not just like
and you mentioned in philanthropy, making people feel good about
what they give. R o I is just people think, oh,
(28:14):
what's my return on investment in money? But r o
I could be like, man, you know, I ran this
hundred mile race and my mom's like, why are you
doing this? It's gonna I'm because it's good for my soul.
That's an r o I. I'm doing a documentary right
now called Serial Killers about serial the serial business, and um,
I don't even want to make a penny. I'm doing
it because it's the r o I. For me, is
(28:36):
the message that I want to get out there. So
r o I comes on a lot of different ways.
There's a lot of reasons to weigh whether or not
you should do something, and it's not all financial. Yep.
You love to connect, you love to speak publicly. I've
seen it, I do it. I get it. It's invigorating.
It's also since you your circle is closing too. You're
(28:57):
not around that many people. I feel like it gives
you of s electricities engage when it moves things around
the room, You're not just in your own head. It's
like working out a wrap with other people listening. You're
kind of figuring out what works don't. Don't you agree,
Like that's what's going on. You're connecting in such a
personal way. Well, there's a famous study they did with
all these billionaires where they interviewed um dozens of billionaires
(29:18):
and asked what their biggest regret was, and in the
top three of their regrets was not being in the
present moment, you know, like either thinking I wish I
made more money on that deal, I wish I could
go back and do that, or thinking ahead and I
think you know, for me, I lived on a monastery
with eight monks that have been there for fifty years,
(29:38):
and one of the things. One of the main takeaways
from me, and there were a lot, was that the
monks were always where their feet are, like they were
never ahead of like if they were cleaning the floor,
they cleaned the floor man like it was the only thing,
and then they would go to the next task. And
I've been taught to multitask, Oh do this, and you
(29:59):
gotta do this. My to do list is fucking through
the roof. They didn't do that. They had to do list,
and they were when when the thing on there doue
list was done, they crusted it off. They never ever
looked back on it, and they went to the next thing.
So the way I set up my day, everyone's a
morning routines. Morning routines. Morning routines are reporting. My day
starts the night before. I map out my entire day.
(30:19):
I'm on the call with Dethany until we're done, and
then right after that, I have a thing with my
kids for one hour, and then it's what one o'clock,
I'm going here, three o'clock. Here, I'm following the script.
But the day before you're mapping out the future. It's interesting,
who's good enough? Do you think anyone's good enough to
wake up and wing it. It's interesting. First of all,
the book Power of Now is about that emotionally, meaning,
(30:40):
nothing's that bad in this moment, Like in this moment
is okay we always were. That's gonna happen. What's gonna happen.
I'm not gonna make money. I'm not gonna make it.
I'm gonna lose that. That's gonna happen. Everybody does that,
and it's a great note. And it's a hard discipline
to practice. But to get in the car with a
plan of where the hell you're going, even though you
might get derailed, is a better idea to get in
the car and out of an idea. It was what
you're saying, Um, so you're are you obsessed with fitness
(31:02):
and health? I mean, a hundred miles is excessive. It's
lifestyle for me. It's not discipline. It's not a chore.
It's what I do. I eat a certain way. You know,
I'm basically a fruitarian. I run every day terry and
I don't even know that, And so, wow, that's that's crazy.
So what is that basically I eat? I eat a
(31:22):
lot of fruit. I only eat fruit until noon. For
thirty years, I've only had fruit until noon, and then
I start to eat regular foods after that. But I
really now have extended fruit only to almost like five o'clock,
So most of my diet is fruit. And what does
that feel like? Or you don't even know anymore. I
don't even know what it feels like. I was telling
someone the other day to not have boundless energy. I
(31:42):
don't know what it feels like, like, oh, I'm so tired,
I can't do that. I don't know. I've missed a
day of work knock on wood in thirty years. Like,
I don't even know what the other side feels like
when people tell me they have pain to this. So,
I have four kids. I'm never too tired for my kids.
That's a rule that I have. So it's a lifestyle
out for me. You know, you said, well, running a
hundred miles I started off. My goal was to run
(32:04):
two miles. That was it. I wanted to run two miles.
Nothing in my body changed. These are the same legs
guy gave me. I'm not very strong, um, but I
was able to go from two miles to a hundred
miles and the only thing that changed was my mind.
And that sounds so simple and whatever, but it's true.
So that means that I fifty x my goal. So
(32:26):
I want to fifty x my business. I want to
fifty x my relationships. I want to fifty x everything
in my life. And when I saw people running a
hundred miles, I'm like, which I saw it first? I
went to a race, and I'm like, they don't look
any different than me. They're just not stopping. My whole
world changed. I'm like, I'm thinking, small man. So now
once I ran a hundred miles, when I take people
(32:48):
from from couch to a marathon, no problem. And when
they're done, the first thing I tell them is double
your business plan. You just realized, you just realized you
could do something you never thought you could do. And
that's what this is for me. That self doubt is
the number one enemy to success. So your wife is
very successful, you're very successful. What two questions? One is
(33:10):
your what was your most successful venture? Was it Zekeo?
Was it mar Keys? What was your your in the
hole Marquis jet? Okay? So MARKI Jett. I mean we
did five billion dollars in sales and we sold it
to Warren Buffett's. You know Berkshire House. So you were
freaking out then you were just like, Wow, I'm real.
I was freaking out from day one. This whole journey
has been like I can't I said to myself the
(33:31):
other day. Yesterday I literally said to my family, I
can't believe how fucking lucky I am. I didn't say
the F word, even even the friends, the people that
I've met, the runs I've been able to do, the
adventures I've gone on, the monks that I've lived with,
all of it. I'm just like, how did my life
resume to get to be so fulfilled? You know, Well,
(33:51):
you're in a magical house. You're in a magical partnership.
I don't mean I know what the ins and outs
your relationship are like, but there's a lot going on
in that house creatively, mentally, energet what's the dynamic in
your relationship with regards to two powerful personalities money gender?
That is kind of my last question about that and
your family and whatever else you want to mention, but
(34:12):
that kind of thing, what goes on in your house
and your relationship as it pertains to money and power
and gender. Well, Sarah's journey its banks is similar to mine.
In the sense that we started kind of young, and
we've we both were self um sustaining, you know, as
we got married, so it takes a lot of pressure
off of it. So in some ways it made everything easier.
But um, we're very different, like insanely different, and I
(34:35):
think that's important. Actually, there's a lot of research around
that you don't want to marry around marriages that are successful,
that people that aren't exactly the same. Everyone's like, oh,
you gotta marry your soul meet. Agreed, And I'm my
fiance and I are very different too, totally different temperaments. Congratulations,
by the way, thank you. We're very different, but we
have the same values. And I think the most important
thing is she gives me a long leash. If she's
(34:56):
told me I can't run, I have to go to
the opera, I'd resent her. If I told her you
can't work on a new product because we got it,
she resent me. So we we both give each other
long leashes to do the things we love. For me
that speaking and we're running and all this other stuff.
And we spend time together, but we also spend time alone,
(35:17):
and like that's really important. Age. Yeah, so you know,
and I don't know. Everyone's different, every relationship is different,
and we have our challenges just like everybody else. But
those things that I think are important. And then the
last thing I would say is we check in with
each other all the time, and they're not transactional check
ins to take the garbage out? Did you do the laundry?
We check in about like how's your day going? Yeah,
(35:38):
like how you are right? Like And there's a ton
of research around that too, about the importance of just
daily check ins. Wow, okay, I like that. Who's the peacock?
It sounds like it might be us only one peacock
in a relationship, So it sounds like you're the peacock.
What do you mean by peacock? There's one person that's
blewming their feathers more. That's like the free spirit that
it sounds like you're the peacock. She's more granular and like, no, no,
with that, I'm a double peacock. Yeah, same, same, I'm
(36:02):
a flock of peacocks, flock of cox Right, it's good
energy between us, and it was great. You're amazing and
interesting and you're honest, and I just like your conviction,
and um, say, how do your kids and have a
great quality day with them. I'm gonna go roller skating
with my daughter or go on the zip line, and
that's the point. I'm done now, and that's the second
I lave. I'm going to do is zip line and
(36:23):
trampoline right too. I love it. Well, thanks for having
me on, Bethany appreciate it. What unexpected journeys we take
on this podcast, talking to people about their life, their parenting,
their money, their childhood, their success, their stories, their failures.
Jesse was open. We could have talked for hours, which
(36:45):
is great, and I just love that you just never
know what or who you're going to get. And I'm
getting so many amazing comments from you about people that
you've never even heard of, that you just can't believe
how fascinating and interesting are and what great stories they have.
I mean, Paul, my fiance this morning, said, you know,
I love the nor mcmali episode, and I didn't even
(37:06):
know who she was, but it was so compelling and
such a great story. So you're gonna learn a lot.
I love if there's a lot of takeaway here. I've
got interesting people that have definitely done something that you
may not even know, so remember to rate, review and subscribe.
I appreciate you, Thank you. Just B is hosted an
(37:28):
executive produced by me, Bethany Frankel. Just Be as a
production of be Real Productions and I Heart Radio. Our
Managing Producer is Fiona Smith and our producer is Stephanie Stender.
Our EP is Morgan Levoy. To catch more moments from
the show, follow us on Instagram at just Be with
Bethany
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