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March 18, 2022 14 mins

Bethenny on Kanye’s Instagram ban and the darkest days of her divorce.

Bethenny calls out the mistakes Kim and Kanye are making in their messy divorce. But it’s not really about Kim or Kanye— it’s about you, and how to make sure you don’t end up like Kimye. Plus, Bethenny opens up about how she was tormented through her last divorce, and how you can protect yourself.

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:12):
This gossipy dynamic that I'm now calling Kim yat with Kim,
Kanye and Pete Davidson is fodder for many people. I
you know, for TikTok's for jokes, all of it, um,
and here in particular, I don't I mean, I yeah,
I don't like to talk about things just for the

(00:33):
sake of talking about them. I joked on Instagram, um
and Twitter about you know that I've unsubscribed, dear media,
I've unsubscribed to the Kimmey drama. But yet I'm still
getting these messages. So we're all witnessing something that's very public.
There's so much to unpack. I want to discuss my

(00:54):
my experience with this topic, my very very intimate experience
of this topic. So he claims that he doesn't want
his daughter on TikTok, which I can understand. It's too
much and she could have a private account with just
people to follow her. She doesn't need to be with
six and a half million people if both parents don't
want that, And that's the thing. The decision making would

(01:16):
be a critical factor in whether or not that was okay.
But I'm sure that he will not be getting decision
making because he's not making rational decisions in his own life,
so he's committing custody suicide. So first and foremost, he's
entitled do not want his daughter to be on TikTok.
That's a little difficult to digest after he has been
participating in a show where his daughter has been on it,

(01:37):
and their entire lives have been documented as they soar
to a family of billionaires, So deciding that you want
to get off the right afterwards, which we've discussed before,
doesn't really hold water. But he's entitled as a parent
to not want his child to be posting for six
and a half million people, and that would be a
thing that if they had joint decision making, both would make.

(01:57):
I probably I can guarantee he will not be getting
decision making. But I also mentioned before that playing to
the court of public opinion and just begging for one
of us to jump up and say, we think you're right,
and we understand what you're saying. And he does make
valid points. In his haze of irrational irrational text tweets
and and posts, he makes certain points. He says that

(02:21):
he felt like he was on a ride he never
had his own Christmas at his own house every year
it was at their house. Okay, you signed up for that,
you did that for that many years. And I'm sure
it's hard for him to watch the machine keep going
without him on it. And I'm sure it's hard that
even though he's so public and every girlfriend he's dating,
whether Kim look like or not, so public, but Kim
is way more public. So to see your ex publicly

(02:42):
out there isn't easy. And I'm sure the fact that
he went to help him on SNL because he has
been her mentor in many ways, and to help her
and then have her kiss the guy she's on the
show with and realized that they were together or have
hung out before, that's a tough pill to swallow too.
So all of this could have driven him even more crazy.
It's the perfect storm. Where before he had some illness

(03:05):
that he was managing, and now this is the perfect
storm and an explosion. But what he's doing, as I mentioned,
is just it's it's just it lacks logic, but again
mental illness. But okay, but he's very logical when he's
marketing a product. Okay, So I just want to talk
about this because I for the better part of a decade,

(03:26):
was the victim of something very similar to this, that
very similar to this, but no one knew about it.
I was under gag order and wasn't allowed to talk
about it, and I, foolishly, just like the girls of
the Me too generations, should have talked about it. I
should have played videos for UH people to hear me

(03:50):
in court officials to hear the abuse that I was experiencing.
But the good news for him is that it's out there.
She has it all documented or lawyers have it documented.
The judge will see it. It's out there, and she
shines in this scenario. I had a situation where for
the better part of a decade, I was first being recorded.

(04:13):
For months, I was my email was hacked into, I
was defrauded, I was followed, I was taunted and emailed
the most vicious things day and night, and in any
category one it would be focusing on any men I

(04:34):
would talk to or go out on dates with your
disgusting and it's a revolving door of men and say
to you know, my you know, and and and do
that in front of my child and discuss, oh, mommy
must be out and she must be doing this, and
she must be doing that, or then another time because
I happened to be out to dinner um and I
used to cut lee for forty five minutes because I
was so panicked because of these types of emails. I

(04:56):
almost I started to believe it. You start to believe
the things people say to you, and those of you
who have experienced emotional abuse or harassment or stalking, you
know what I'm talking about. Where if I left for
forty five minutes to go out to dinner, I was
called disgusting, a terrible parent, And there was a bomb
scare on my street one time that I left for
forty five minutes, and I rushed back and had to

(05:16):
write an email, obviously to the other parent about what
had happened. But I was terrified to do so because
I knew that I would suffer abuse, and it was
You're disgusting. What kind of parent leaves their child during
a bomb scare? So I used to be panicked for
years to ever go out. I still have it. I
never ever go out. I've never had a nanny. I'm
with my daughter all the time that I have her,
to the point where it's probably not the best for me.

(05:36):
I never learned the skill of separating from my child,
because I was literally abused for years. If I left
my daughter for an hour, any any anything was a
source of attack. Anything negative that the press said about
me was so like, ha, ha heard yet a bad day.
L O, L You're disgusting and desperate and irrelevant, and
I guess you're your fifteen minutes is up soon? And

(05:58):
but all day every day, and if I was when
I was with Dennis, we would get emails and he
would be cced on all of them about minutia, about
anything like all day, to the point where he had
to get a season desist. But I was dealing with
this alone. Nobody else knew, and I was the bad guy.
I was the one who's the wealthy, successful person and

(06:19):
broke up with the regular guy, and he was the victim.
And it was terrible because inside you know that you've
been suffering this torture, and it's not really recognized, meaning
if you're not if someone's not putting lit cigarettes out
on you or pulling you and dragging you by your hair,
beating you, it's not recognized as abuse. And I knew
it was abuse, and I kept saying it was abuse,

(06:39):
and I had thousands of emails over the years, and
and and and stalking and harassment and proof and things
that would be said to me, You know, your publicist
is going to be in the corner crying, I'll have
your I'll have your publicist in the corner, crying I'm
going to destroy your life, looking over my child's shoulder
and laughing in my face, crawling into my bed and

(07:00):
staring at me, me going into Brent's bread to bed
to read a story and crawling into a twin bed
and saying everything okay, me calling me face timing, and
having a person not the child's face, come into the
phone and look at you, okay, Are you having a
good day? Are you having a good day? But keeping
the phone on. So it seemed if it was ever
put in a court of law like we like there
was a conversation that happened between my daughter, but it

(07:22):
didn't happen between my daughter or me having to call
eleven times in a row from from Australia to try
to get in touch with my daughter, but and then
have the phone answered and make it seem like we
had been on the phone and I knew what was
going on. It was taunting. It was very targeted harassment,
and it wasn't public which was very smart, because if
it's not done publicly, it didn't happen. So in this

(07:44):
kid's situation, Kanye is doing it publicly. She has vindication.
And I'm sure she went through years and years of
different things happening at home that her family saw that
they kept under wraps. And I'm sure she had financial
ties to him in different reasons and kids that she
couldn't leave for, or God knows what was going on. Um.
So I have experiences in a very public way, and
even now, I'm very very careful about how I discuss it.

(08:06):
Um My daughter's on her computer or phone a lot.
It sounds crazy. She's just not a person who googles.
She's just not that girl. And I hold back because
I don't want her to read about this. But I
I go forth in a very measured way because I
know that there are thousands of women who have written
to me saying that they've experienced this. Now, like Kim Kardashian,
who's wealthy, it's hard to imagine that someone could have

(08:28):
a stranglehold on her. He's wealthy too, He's wealthier than
she is, but I was the was the moneyed spouse,
and I had another I had a partner that wasn't
And with all the money and the power and the
success that I have, it didn't matter. If someone wants
to torture you and torment you, they can, So the
laws have to change. And there are so many patterns

(08:49):
you can see it. Parental alienation is one where your
child is, you know, going back to you, and the
parents says to the child, I know you don't want
to go with mom, I know, I know. Don't worry,
You'll be back with daddy soon. When you said that
to a two year old, that's like hypnotism. They don't
know what it means, but it's sort of nuanced and
also nuanced in that's the villain. The other parent is

(09:10):
the villain. When a parent says about to the child,
mommy's ursula, the mommy's ursula, the witch. She's a good witch.
But it's a child, so it's not like a seven
year old is gonna say, what are you talking about.
It's a two year old. There's like, you know, confused,
but that stuff is embedded in them and they remember
it and they feel it and it gives them problems later,
and they later have serious issues about it, because it

(09:33):
all floods in when they become a certain age and
at a situation with the pandemic. Were in one shot.
We were all home and anxiety set in, and my
daughter did not want to leave me at all, and
all of the feelings of things that she had heard
from one side and from other family members, poisoning, poisoning

(09:54):
about me. It all flooded in at the same time.
And it's not that easy to talk to legal professionals
about things like this. When your child won't get in
a car. Legal professionals get your kid in a car.
That's what the schedule says. Well, the schedule doesn't speak
for emotional torture and hives and hyperventilating and things like that.

(10:15):
So the only thing I could say for Kim is
that it's out, and she's she's away from him. It's out.
He's now hopefully been side. He's been silenced for one
day by Instagram, and who knows what will happen next.
But I can tell you this, these people that do this,
and I don't know the Kanye is necessarily one of them.
I'm only watching from the outside in these people that
do this, they find pockets. You go through the door. Okay,

(10:36):
let me say this about you. Let me talk about
the person you're dating. Let me let me torment you
about that. Okay, that didn't work. You shut it down.
Someone said you're not allowed to do that. Okay. Let
me have you followed. Let me have you followed. Let
me read all your emails. Let me tell you that
I know where you are with that you knowing how? Okay,
Let me try finances. Let me try to forge documents
and identity theft so you don't so I can go

(10:56):
after your property, but you have to legally go through
years and years of steps and millions of dollars to
get it back. Okay, that didn't work. Let me try
see seeing some once you're in a relationship with day
and night. Se see all your friends, you see some
in your relationship. Let me try talking about the men.
You make these notebooks if this is happening to you,
because patterns. One email is nothing, fifty of them is

(11:19):
a pattern. So you make these tabs, it's abuse overall.
One tab is on men. Who are you with? What
are you doing? Oh? I guess you with another guy?
I guessed as in a revolving door. I guess you're
a slut. I guess you're this another one. Bad parenting,
you're or old, you're ugly, you're old, you're irrelevant, you're disgusting,
you're desperate. Okay, that's just general insults. This sounds crazy,

(11:39):
but it's like you're in school with your notebooks. People
ask me about the notebooks I had. It's like you
have a binder science, math, history. That's what it is.
And it's sad, but you you have to take care
of yourself if something like this goes on, and you've
got to document everything and be organized about it. But
more importantly, if you see some ends of this, which

(12:00):
I did before, long before I couldn't get out, You
see little signs, little comments. You have a miscarriage, and
someone says, because you said afterwards, you're secretly relieved because
you didn't think that the relationship was what it was.
You're a piece of ship. Someone calls you after a miscarriage.
You start to think later, oh, when someone calls you
a piece of ship, maybe you should listen. Maybe you

(12:22):
should listen and not go deeper and think you imagined it.
When you see red flags they're actually red flags. So
lock the door before you get robbed. I can guarantee
I will await Kim sit down interview and the book
and when she talks and she says that there were
a lot of signs of this behavior. But he was
charismatic and interesting and wonderful. And yes, I said on

(12:44):
Twitter he was a marketing genius, because he is and
a marketing genius. And by the way, I don't know him,
I do believe he has he has some valid points
about the things that bother him. But you are so
so hating your ex more than loving your child if
you're playing this out in public, and you're a hypocrite
because playing this out in public while saying you don't

(13:05):
want your daughter on TikTok, posting your daughter on TikTok
on Instagram saying I don't approve of her being on
TikTok is moronic. It is it is hypocritical. It is
a bag of bullshit. So you can pretend you're the priest, God,
the Messiah, and Donald Trump wrapped all up in one.
But I'm calling bullshit. So he may be mentally ill,

(13:26):
but somehow he finds a way to be sane when
he has to market a product, and somehow he finds
a way to be hypocritical when he's posting his kid
on Instagram that he doesn't want to TikTok. But the
good news is it's out. The judge sees, the court sees,
the lawyers see, they are scribbling their notes, they're making tabs,
and this man does not have a snowballs chance in

(13:46):
hell of having decision making. And no matter what now,
no matter what, even if he doesn't do something wrong forever,
because he's done this, no one will give him the
benefit of the doubt. It is the boy who cried wolf,
like this time, oh there's really a wolf. No one's
gonna believe you because for all this time you behave
this way. So let's say, you know so, now he's

(14:08):
put himself in a corner and she's got all the
custody cards and she's got control over those children. So
he made his bed. And you can't geasy your way
out of this one. And you can't financially get jo
out of this one. Judges make a hundred and something
thousand dollars a year. Okay, they don't give a funk
about free easies, and they don't give a shit about

(14:28):
your new album either. Just Be is hosted by me,
Bethany Frankel. Just Be as a production of the real
productions I Heart Radio and Blue Duck Media. Are EPs
are Morgan Levois, Antonio Enriquez, and Kara hit. To catch
more moments from the show, follow us on Instagram and
just Be with Bethany
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Bethenny Frankel

Bethenny Frankel

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