All Episodes

August 20, 2024 43 mins

Dramos shares a mindset he has been trying to adapt in the way he views failure, and reminds us how even the greats fail more than they succeed.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mark as Played
Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
I love talking about There we go. He said, you
live in life as a lingo where you question where
you fit in every time you mingle, they say you
do this with not of this life as a lingo. Yes, hello,
and welcome to another episode of Life as a Gringo.

Speaker 2 (00:25):
I am Drambles, of course, And on today's show, I
want to touch on something that I've been kind of
stooing on over the last week, right, the last few
days really.

Speaker 1 (00:42):
And it's the concept of failure, right, And uh, I've
been very honest on the pod talking about some sort
of my struggles I think this year, right, and feeling
like nothing was really sort of working, Like everything I try,
I just kept hitting a fucking wall, right, and really

(01:03):
sort of the better part of this year just being
in a place of just I don't want to say misery,
but man, fuck not being in a great place mentally,
And a lot of it was my inability to move
past a few particular failures, right, And there was one

(01:33):
particular failure that was really heartbreaking at the end of
last year. I don't want to get into details because
you know, of some of it is still in the
works in just a new form or whatever. But so
I don't want to like shit anybody, but you know,
it's a really heartbreaking thing. It was a project I

(01:54):
had been working on for probably almost three years and
beyond my control, just sort of fell apart in the
twenty fifth hour, if you will, right, and it was
it was particularly heartbreaking because I was under the impression

(02:14):
that it was a done deal and then all of
a sudden, I get a phone call that it's just
dead in the water, right, And as sort of time
went on and it really began to hit me, it
really shook my confidence and my creativity moving forward. And then,

(02:39):
you know, I sort of put a lot of pressure
on myself this year, starting the year with really feeling
like I had to, you know, go big or go home, basically, right,
and not even from a place of like I have
to create cool shit, but from a place like I

(03:01):
have to you know, stack up the wind column basically,
because there's been a lot of l's lately. And obviously,
when you put that sort of pressure on yourself, it's
hard to get into a flow state. It's hard to
just create, it's hard to produce your best work because
you're constantly doing it from a place of needing the external,

(03:24):
not just validation, but but judging its success based upon
how others react to it, or getting in your own
head and trying to produce things that you think will
be successful for your career and monetarily and attention wise
and things like that. And anybody who's a creative knows

(03:45):
that this is just not a good place to do
your best work from. And I crashed and burned and
had a lot of false starts and just didn't feel
particularly motivated to create or didn't have confidence in myself
and my ability to create. You know, the idea of
failure really on the large scale, that I failed with

(04:05):
this project and didn't succeed into bringing it to life
as planned. That really shook me to my core. And since,
you know, in the last month or so, I've really
hit a beautiful sort of creative stride. I've gotten into
a flow state. I've figured out a way to sort of.

Speaker 3 (04:22):
Just relinquish the feeling or the need for controlling and
figuring out what's next, and just allow myself to play
and discover and follow my curiosities, right and.

Speaker 1 (04:40):
Sort of allowing them to dictate what would be the
next step in my life, right, and what I've begun
to realize when I talk about fay right, because you know,
what's always sitting in my mind. And I'm sure a
lot of people who are products of immigrant families, and
you sort of the burden of your parents reminding you

(05:04):
they sacrificed everything to give you a better life, like
you better make the most of it, essentially, right. And
for me, you know, my family being from Puerto Rico,
we don't necessarily have that burden, but it is one
of you know, for me, my parents are both college graduates.

(05:26):
They both went on to have professional careers, and you know,
have the quote unquote American dream of owning a home
and the kids and all that stuff, you know, and
getting out of poverty. So for me, my struggle was
sort of recreating and elevating beyond their success, right, like

(05:50):
their success was the standard. And I've talked a lot
about sort of my parents and their feelings about the
route of being a creative and not understanding it. And
you know, for them, their fear of me not having
stability in life led them to sort of act out

(06:10):
in certain ways, right, and to try to convince me
to go a more traditional route. Much of their methodology
was sort of like in the moments where I would
try something and fail, they were very quick to say
I told you so. I think I choked up a
little when I said that they were very quick to
say I told you so. And I get it, you

(06:33):
know now, thinking about like they were just they were
literally just desperate to try and you know, make me
deviate from this sort of crazy path and journey that
I've been on and try to find a more traditional
route that had a better chance of me living a
stable lifestyle. Right. But that mindset of knowing, or that

(06:56):
sort of feeling subconsciously in the back of my head
of always knowing that I was going to be quick
to hear I told you so every time I failed.
That is something I've carried with me for a very
long time. And while I've I've done my best to
sort of fight against it, it still I think leaves

(07:16):
its mark on me in certain ways that I may
self sabotage or not finish things, or not follow through
as hard as I possibly could or I might. I'm
very I'm like terrible self promoting because I'm scared of
the public failure if I go hard at promoting, and
like this thing doesn't work out right, And again I'm

(07:39):
going to get into like the just alonging me hint,
that segment of setting it up. But what I sort
of what hit me this last week The phrase achieving
failure like just kind of stuck in my head. I
don't know if I, like in passing hurt it somewhere,
but like, you know, you've maybe hurt somebody say like, oh,
they achieved failure doing X, X, Y and Z whatever,

(08:01):
and it's meant to be I guess like a negative context, right,
Oh this person failed, right, But it's like a fancy
way of saying it. But my mind immediately went to
the definition of achievement and putting that together with failure
and recognizing that my shortcomings in my endeavors or the

(08:24):
times that I failed, they've actually been an achievement. And
I know that this sounds wild. I know that this
is like this is like, you know, I'm sure something
at home is like dramas. Now you're just you're going
off the deep end of the bullshit self help community
of like you know, just saying stupid shit and pretending

(08:45):
like it's a profound statement and it doesn't really make
sense in practical application. And this that there, and I
get it. I understand that, but I think to zoom
out to give you, like, what's really happening here in
that statement. Yeah, it's a fucking ridiculous statement to say
that a failure is an achievement. Right on the surface,

(09:06):
it is. But I'm digging beneath it because I'm trying
to train my mind and by sharing this with you,
hopefully yours, to lessen the power that failure has over us. Right,
And when you begin to trick your mind initially into
thinking differently and to viewing things from a different vantage point,

(09:30):
eventually it becomes your normal programming if you do it
long enough. And my goal is in the long run
that by having this vantage point and continuing to remind
myself of it, I can change my relationship with failure
and I can no longer fall victim to it the
way that I did this year, the way that it

(09:52):
stopped me in my tracks after failing on a grand
deeal scale at the end of last year. And I
want to have that conversation today because I think there's
a lot of people who, like all of us, fear failure,
have maybe had one failure or a couple of failures

(10:13):
and tried something and then they just sort of say, hey,
not for me and they walk away from it. Or
maybe you have people around you like like I did
growing up, where they're quick to say I told you
so shit. I mean, especially today's like social media era,
we're all failing publicly oftentimes, right, and that's fucking scary.

(10:37):
It feels like everybody's watching and everybody's laughing at us,
and maybe some people are. But again, when you change
the meaning of failure, when you realize it's not really
this dirty word that we've been brought up to view
it as, it allows you to just keep on fucking
pushing right, and that's literally all that we could strive for. Right.

(11:00):
I'm a firm believer that success will come in some way,
shape or form as long as you keep getting up
every day and doing the work. It may not be
what you expected, how you expected when you expected, but
you're bound to step in shit as long as you
just keep putting yourself out there. Right. It's like dating.

(11:23):
You want to find a partner, You've just gone a
million dates. Eventually, after struggling through so many painful dates,
you're bound to meet a decent person that you actually like.
And that's I think the difference between people who are
successful and who aren't. And granted, all of us are
going to have different journeys, so our failures or our

(11:49):
you know, pathway might be longer, shorter, different than others.
But I do think the greatest common denominator is the
relationship to failure and you're to bounce back from it.
And I just want to stew on this a little
bit for whoever needs to hear it, whoever's going through
some shit, whoever is trying to bounce back after having

(12:11):
their fucking soul crushed in some sort of way, be
it financially, be it career wise, be it relationships, be
a dream, whatever it might be. I want to have
this discussion with you because as I've been talking to
myself about it over the last few days, and I
laughed because I literally am out loud just having a
full on conversation with myself, like walking through my kitchen
cooking lunch. It's it's really lightened the load for me,

(12:35):
and I want to discuss that a bit, So we'll
do that in Army Hit that segment. Now I've currently
been in like full on book mode for the last month.
As I've kind of teased, I've been writing a book.
So in my book, I use a lot of pop
culture references to teach various lessons. Right, So in the

(13:00):
spirit of that, that's kind of where my mind has been,
and I started thinking about, like, who are some of
the people that are hands down recognized as like the
goats the greatest of all time in their particular field. Right,
And a person that always tends to come to mind
to me is Tom Brady, who is a quarterback in
the NFL. Right Again, you don't be, like, as with

(13:20):
any of my analogies, don't actually have to be a
fan of the thing that I'm talking about to get
the message, right, you don't know shit about sports. But
Tom Brady is widely recognized as the greatest quarterback to
ever play in the NFL. Right, He's the Michael Jordan
of the NFL. But as you study like the career

(13:44):
of Tom Brady, and like I just sort of like
was wrapping my brain around this. Tom Brady has won
the most Super Bowl rings of any player in history.
He has seven rings. Right, And for any NFL player
who truly gives a shit, like he did. The ultimate

(14:04):
goal every year is to get a ring, is to
win a Super Bowl, Right, That's why he does all
the hard work, That's why he played as long as
he did, trying to win as many as humanly possible.
But when you look at his career, Tom Brady played
for twenty three seasons twenty three, so that means that
sixteen out of the twenty three times he tried to

(14:27):
reach his goal, he failed. He failed, but we still
talk about him as the greatest of all time, even
though he failed more than he succeeded at the given
goal at hand. We still celebrate his greatness as literally

(14:53):
the greatest of all time. And I think it to
me it serves as a really easy reminder and analogy
of the fact that in life we are going to
fail more than we succeed and we have to accept that.
I think so many of us go through projects and
ideas and we sort of don't grasp the fact that

(15:19):
we're going to hear more nose than yes's right, like that,
that's just the fact the truth. Every time we try something,
it's not going to work, and in the case of
like fucking Tom Brady, that it doesn't have to, right

(15:41):
it didn't have to work every time for him to
be considered the greatest. It just had to work seven
out of the fucking twenty three times that he tried,
because that seven was good enough to put him ahead
of anybody else, because that's how hard it is to
achieve that particular goal, and in general, that's how hard
it is to achieve success. And I don't know why

(16:02):
it particularly resonated with me. It was kind of like
one of those moments like I'm like thinking to myself
and like, you know, not talking to myself in the
nicest way, but I'm like, dummy, of course you fucking failed,
and not because you're not good enough, but because that's
the inevitability of fucking trying. You are going to fail

(16:24):
more than you succeed. Accept it. And that's the, like,
I guess, the hard part to wrap your brain around.
But it's also like it's one of those things where
it's like we're kicking the shit out of ourselves on
a daily basis and we are allowing other people to
chime in with the I told you sos when literally
it defies logic to think that every time you try

(16:46):
something you are going to be successful at it. And
this is the fucked up thing about people's ability to
appreciate those outside of their immediate access right because again,
people will, largely without really any debate, crown Tom Brady

(17:07):
as the greatest of all time, even though he failed
more than he tried. But God forbid you as their friend,
their son, their parent, whatever it might be. You drop
the ball one time, or something doesn't or you take
a risk and it doesn't pan out all of a sudden,
it means that you're terrible and you're not meant to
be doing this, And we listen to that shit, and

(17:28):
I think that's sort of like we have to get
this all through our head. Like people have these fucking
obscure and skewed ways of viewing things. We have fucked
up and and you know, skewed ways of viewing ourselves.
We hold ourselves and those around us to unreasonable standard
that literally we don't do for anybody else. We are

(17:51):
able to celebrate somebody for the same thing that we
would denigrate somebody close to us or social media. I mean,
the shit is even worse because strangers just saying stupid
shit for no reason. It reminds me of the asp
rocket quote. Where he talks about like when did it
become uncool to try? People making fun of you for trying?

(18:12):
And in the idea of like achieving failure, it is
a fucking achievement, no matter like the social connotation around
the word failure, you know, a failure at what failure
really means, Like when you look at something you say, Okay,

(18:33):
I got up today. My goal was to do this, this,
and that, and I failed at it. Maybe you didn't
achieve the intended goal, the hit the intended target, but
you actually went and tried to do something. That's a
success in itself. And not to say that you should

(18:59):
hold yourself to a low standard and not strive for greatness,
not strive to achieve your goals. But I think you
can exist in two places where you're striving for greatness,
but you're also not kicking the shit out of yourself
when a plan doesn't come to fruition the way you
would have hoped, because there's still value within that, right,

(19:22):
I think what a lot of us sort of failed
to realize. And like you know, social media and shit
is so noisy and in general and life, a lot
of people talk without actually having a real knowledge on
what the fuck they're talking about? Right? And I don't
even say that in like a denigrating way, but like,
what did my parents know about success as an entrepreneur

(19:45):
or success in the entertainment industry? Nothing? But they were
giving me their opinion every time they had the chance,
and I listened to it. And maybe I didn't follow
their wishes, but I wouldn't say I listened to I
internalized it. I allowed it to chip away at my

(20:07):
personal belief system what I knew to be true. Because
anybody that's actually tried to do anything, regardless of the outcome,
you know that you fucking achieved something. Right. That's why
I love having my like to do lists and I
break down my goals into small steps because there are
certain things that are going to be beyond my control. Right.

(20:30):
I am. I am currently as I told everybody you know,
I'm I'm currently writing a book, right, and the goal
is to to get a book agent who then helps
me get a publisher. Right, And that's the process I'm
in right now. But if that doesn't happen, I still

(20:51):
achieved something. I still conceptualized the book idea, I still
wrote chapters for it, I still reached out to agents
and did my research. I still learned about an industry
that I've been interested in. I've still put myself out there, right,

(21:13):
So yeah, if a publisher doesn't pick it up or
a book agent doesn't want to sign me, I maybe fail.
I failed at that greater goal, But there were successes
along the way, right, And I think that's where the
achieved failure comes into play, because there's still achievement within
that that is meant to be celebrated. Right And even

(21:36):
like putting the words achieve and failure together, admittedly, like
even to me personally, it sounds sacrilegious, right, But again,
I think what we're trying to do is the mindset, right,
because this is where I personally fall or in the past,
have fallen into, like my woe is me, my depressive

(21:58):
stages and and those things. Right where I've been the
type of person who prolongs is not the word I'm
looking for, puts off celebrating themselves or puts off their
happiness until they've achieved said goal. Right. But what's been

(22:23):
toxic about this is with the sort of idea that
inevitably we're going to fail more than we succeed. I
end up kicking the shit out of myself more so
than I end up celebrating myself right, And for a
long time I found no value in the journey, in

(22:44):
the process, and the idea that I at least went
for it. I sort of devalued that right, and as
a result, really made myself so fucking miserable in the process.
This year was a great reminder of that, because I
think I had gotten better at not prolonging or putting

(23:05):
off the celebrating or the appreciation. But what led me
down that dark sort of mental path that I went
through this year was not appreciating all that was achieved

(23:29):
in that failure, right, Because without getting into too much detail,
I failed in an industry that I had never even
dipped my toe into. And while the greater goal of
bringing that project to life failed, there were so many

(23:51):
little successes along the way. Successful pitches, right, successful you
know ideas, I'm trying to be as vague as possible,
you know, Successful meetings with high level executives in a

(24:14):
large industry. Successful in that we got an offer to
buy said project, right that there was a contract all like,
that's all. There's so many little wins along the way,
and again, yeah, the greater goal was to bring it
to life, but it doesn't diminish the fact that there
was an achievement that happened. There was a knowledge gained,

(24:35):
connections that were gained in that process that would have
never happened if I would have just sat in my
hands and never tried this thing. And that's where the
achievement comes into play. Right And by the way, if
you've ever actually gone out and tried something, you aren't

(24:58):
a very small percentage of peace because most people have
an idea, they have a dream, and they never actually
do anything with that idea or dream, right. They're they're
held back by fear of failure. So if you actually
went for it and failed again, that's achievement because you're
in a rare group of people. And I have some
specific numbers that I wanted to get into regarding that,

(25:19):
because you'd actually be shocked how small the percentages of
people who go after their dreams and continue fighting for
their dreams. And we'll touch on that after we take
a quick break. We'll be right back. All right, we
are back, and I want to remind you of the

(25:40):
rare air that you will find yourself in if you
have ever even tried to bring something to life. Okay,
because even though I've talked about that, I know for
a fact how rare it is, just even by people
I come into contact with. And by the way, some people,
I have a lot of friends who are like living
out their dreams or have done great things, and they'll

(26:02):
come to me and we'll just be talking about ideas
that they have and they'll hit me up for advice
or whatever it might be. I'll give them my take.
They'll be energized, excited, and like, you know, next day
they texting me like, man, great talk, I'm so excited
to try these things. And then all of a sudden,
you know, a few months later, it's like boom, they've
completely forgotten about it and didn't even bother trying or
putting any of that stuff into practice right or there

(26:26):
trying to bring the ideas to life like they've they've
sort of, you know, we're high on the fairy dust
of the excitement of it, and then fell off the
wagon somewhere along the way, right. And that's the majority
of people that I come into contact with. Majority will
not follow through. Majority won't even put pen to paper

(26:46):
of an idea, right, it'll stay in their head. They
won't even some majority won't even speak it out loud.
And while I know that, to look at the numbers
specifically like percentages based upon you know studies, it just
adds even to my argument about how much of an
achievement it is to actually fail. Right. So, according to

(27:07):
a LinkedIn post, only eight percent of people achieve their dreams,
while ninety two percent give up or fail. Medium dot
com says that ninety five percent of people give up
when faced with challenges, obstacles, and setbacks, while only five
percent persists. The five percent who persist understand that success
is a marathon, not a sprint, and are committed to

(27:30):
reaching their goals. So think about that ninety five percent
if people give up when they're faced with a challenge
or an obstacle, right, Like, I'm literally still at a
loss as I read these numbers, and this is this,
I mean, it feeds perfectly. I literally just google this
while I was recording, while I'm recording here, and it

(27:52):
feeds perfectly into what exactly I'm talking about here, Because
continuous fail year is a fucking achievement. Only five percent
of people continue on after hitting even just a setback,
let alone completely failing. So the fact that I continue

(28:18):
to put l's on the board is a win because
I'm in a very small percentage of people in this world, right,
I am of the five percent of people who is saying,
thank you, sir, can I have another? And that is
why while I haven't achieved everything I want, I've also

(28:40):
achieved so much of what I want. Right. It's why
I've been able to do the things that I do
is because I exist in that five percent who continues
to push on regardless of failures and setbacks. Right. And
that's why every time I failed to achievement, because it

(29:02):
means I got up to fight again, Right, I got
up and participated in being a part of that limited
five percent. That's what that failure represents. That's a fucking
win right there. Right, That's what makes me, you know,
confident and and and allows me to continue to believe

(29:27):
in myself because I know I'm of a small percentage
of people, right I am. I am operating in a
very limited space, and by doing so, that means a
win is inevitably going to happen because I keep getting
up and trying, and I think this is how we
have to start what we have to start reminding of
our you know, reminding ourselves of I think, shit, I'm

(29:53):
reminding myself of that, right, because it's and I'm like,
I'm thinking back on myself in this year, right, and
some of the some of the negative self talk that
was happening as it felt like nothing was working, and

(30:15):
it's like, it's why, you know. One of the like
revolutionary ideas or revolutionary mindsets for myself has been the
idea of like cross the street and just look at
it from a different angle. I guess what I'm getting at.
I feel like I'm talking in circles. What I'm getting
at is I could save myself a lot of unnecessary

(30:36):
suffering if I just adapted this mindset right, and I
just began to create a thought process in my head
that every time I experience a failure or a setback,
instead of it being the end of the world, instead

(30:57):
of it being something I beat the shit out of
myself about, I train my mind to say, this is
a moment to appreciate and to celebrate because it means
that you're actually trying, right, You're actually making progress because
you actually you actually had to take this at you know,
basically like from an idea in your head, and you

(31:19):
have to you had to do something with it in
order to even experience a setback or a failure, right,
you had to at least take one step forward, so
that failure actually represents progress. Now, again, I'm not saying
it doesn't fucking suck for things to not work out.
I'm not saying it doesn't suck to be disappointed that
things don't pan out. To want something so badly and

(31:41):
for it not to happen. It's a gut wrenching feeling.
But my theory I guess on this is how do
I make it hurt just a little bit less. It's
like it's at the end of the day. It's as

(32:02):
with anything in mindset, is everything.

Speaker 2 (32:07):
Right?

Speaker 1 (32:07):
My ability to stay strong in my convictions and block
out other people's opinions, that's that's an internal thing. That's
a mental dialogue that happens, right. My ability to not
be completely derailed by a setback or failure, that's mental.
That's how I end up processing what just happened. Right,

(32:31):
And if I can process it in a manner that
doesn't feel so bad, it makes it far easier to
sort of get up if I've been knocked down, right,
it actually makes it instead of getting knocked down, it's
more of a stumble, right. And that's what I'm talking
about here with this concept, you know, and I know
it's it's like probably sounds silly to some, but when

(32:55):
you begin to think about it in this it's again
it's just brain training. It's rewiring brain to not be
as affected by things. I mean, and shit, that's what
just about anything is. Right when I went away to
the personal growth retreat, the Hopmin process, a lot of
it is brain training. A lot of it is is

(33:15):
creating new grooves in your mind that like create these buffers, right,
And not to say that you're gonna be perfect at
it all the time, but it's like simple buffers, like
you know, my dog might do something to piss me off,
and prior to the Hoffmin process, I might have like
lost my cool or yelled or whatever it might be.

(33:36):
And not to say that sometimes that doesn't still happen,
but more often than not, because I've trained my mind
to have more of a buffer system, I end up
having like a a sort of like pause in between

(33:56):
my reaction, like a processing moment, I end up like
you know, he like gets into the garbage or knocks
something over or break something, and I feel the sort
of frustration or anger come up inside of me. But
before I react, my brain then goes into that buffer
that reminds me, how do you want to you know,

(34:19):
what's the best way for you to come across here,
like the healthiest manner, and reminds me like he's just
a dog. He doesn't know any better, right, And that
is something that I programmed in my mind through you know,
the work of that retreat, through the different processes they have,
and that's all that this is as well. If I
could change my relationship with failure, then it no longer

(34:44):
has to be something I live in fear of, nor
does it have to have something that actually has any
real power over me or stops me from continuing to
do what I want to do. And that's the goal here.
That's why when I say achieve failure, when you look
at it as something to be celebrated or as a
victory in the moment, you know, a win along the way,

(35:06):
a moment of progress, it no longer has to be
like the fucking you know nail in the coffin where
you then say I'm not doing I'm I'm giving up
on my dreams from now on, I can't take it
anymore because that's where I was at. But now its
like you know, hindsight twenty twenty reflecting, It's like, man,

(35:29):
there was a lot of progress made. I made connections,
I learned a hell of a lot. I'm still here
creating new projects even after that. I'm winning. I'm achieving
something again. I'm in a small percentage of people, and

(35:50):
that small percentage of people inevitably find success. Those are
the ones that make their dreams come true because they
keep fucking trying. So yeah, that's that's my rant. This
is the message that you know, dramas at the beginning

(36:12):
of twenty twenty four needed to hear, and shit, I
still need to hear it at times, and hopefully this,
you know, resonates with people and will summarize what kind
of summarized fact. I'm like, it was like fucking going
all over the place with like rants and thoughts. But
we'll summarize all that I talked about today in a
neat little boat in a segment call conclusions too. But
first we'll take a quick break and then we'll be

(36:34):
right back.

Speaker 2 (36:41):
Time for come.

Speaker 1 (36:48):
All right? So this was be This is like my
weekly brain dumps that are happening. But I don't know, man,
I think what sets us back in life so many people,
and what allows I think the noise to seep through?
Be it the I told you so is? Be it
the you know, the the fear of being shamed publicly.

(37:13):
It's it's the power that we give this word failure.
It's the power that we give to losses. It is
the unnecessary meaning that we attach to them. And it's
why the crazy percentage of like ninety two to ninety

(37:35):
five percent of people never actually achieve their dreams because
they give so much power to this word failure. They
give so much meaning to their losses, their setbacks. And
this is why I always say like, it's you versus

(37:56):
you out there, and and I say that in a
way that that yeah, I know, it's it's easier said
than done. I always want to make sure I remind you,
like I'm not fucking saying like, why haven't you just
realized this already and applied it? I get it. It's
not it's it's these are words and when you have
a clarity and you're not in the situation. It's easy
to just have this unemotional, logical way of thinking about it.

(38:19):
I get it. But the goal is to become better
at having that awareness in the moment, in the heat
of the emotion of whatever you're going through. To be
able to look at yourself from the outside, looking in right,
to sort of envision like my soul leaving my body
and I'm looking at my body and that is how

(38:41):
I'm assessing the situation rather than just internally allowing my
emotions to be the ones that are gonna make, you know,
interpret what's happening or not happening. And I think when
we again begin to change our relationship with things that
are viewed as negative, and we begin to you know,
take action and in still practices that will diminish their

(39:06):
power over us, that's when it becomes far easier to
show up as the version of yourself you could be
proud of on a consistent basis. Right, So, for me,
it's like, again, how do I take away the power
that failure has held over me? Right, Well, I actually
can recognize that it's an achievement. I can recognize that

(39:28):
it actually represents progress. I can recognize that the fact
that I even failed put me in a rare percentage
of people who are actually trying. Right, And I can
recognize that the ones who have found success, the people
that I look up to, have also failed more than
they've succeeded, just as I have. Right, I'm swimming in

(39:51):
in you know, in really high level waters. I'm breathing
high level air essentially, right. The fact that's what my
failure represents, the fact that I have these continuous losses
that I can look at, puts me in a very
rare group of people, in a very rare class that
I want to be a part of. Right, the people
that I look up to, I'm operating on the same

(40:12):
playing field as them, with the same sort of mindset.
By the fact that I continue to get up every
time I fail. That's an achievement right there. Right. And
when I stop trying, and when I allow failure to
take over as far as diminishing my drive and empowering
it to the point that it tells me to stop

(40:32):
and I listen to it, I then end up falling
into the ninety five percent of people who are going
about living their lives unfulfilled because they're scared of failure.
And that's not the group of people that I want
to be rubbing elbows with. I want to be rubbing
elbows with the five percent who have made their dreams
come true just by proxy of them getting up every

(40:54):
time they failed. Like, that's who I want to be amongst.
That's the cocktail party I want to be in, you know, enjoying.
And in order to do so, I just have to
keep trying and keep failing and being okay with it,
right because inevitably a win is gonna happen. And I
don't even need to win all that much. I just
need a couple wins. Right again, the Tom Brady example,

(41:18):
sixteen out of the twenty three times he tried, he
failed at his goal, yet he's still considered the greatest
of all time. That's proof right there for any of us.
It's not about how many times you lose, doesn't matter.
Doesn't matter that the lost column is just stacking, you know,

(41:38):
one after the other. If the lost column keeps getting
bigger and bigger, that's actually a positive thing because it
means you are continuing to try, and inevitably you're gonna
trip fall stumble and step and shit. It's like it's
it's inevitable at some point in time. But in order

(41:59):
to do so, you just have to keep getting up.
So every day that you get out there and you
do something towards your goal, that's a fucking win. Right
every time you have a setback or a loss or
a failure, it's a win because you made progress on
an idea that you had. Again, ninety five percent of

(42:22):
the people won't even bother ninety five percent of the people
will stop at the smallest setback. Most people will never
have something leave their head, right, It will literally just
sit there as an idea in their head that they
wonder about. So if you failed, you have achieved something
that majority of the people in this world will never

(42:44):
will never actually be able to relate to the fact
that you actually went for it. That's a fucking win
right there. Keep going, keep winning until you win, you know,
at the bigger goal at hand. That's my message for today,
and I'm taking that in with me for the rest
of the day that I have ahead of me as
a reminder, like keep achieving failure. It means that you

(43:09):
are in rare air and you are rubbing elbows with
the greats that have come before you. Amazing, amazing. I
hope that was hope I needed to remind myself of
that message. I hope that was helpful for me listening.
Thank y'all so much for tuning in. That said, I'll
catch you on Thursday for our Thursday Trends episode. To
that stay safe, We'll talk soon. Life as a Grego

(43:33):
is a production of the micro Thura podcast Network and iHeartRadio.
Advertise With Us

Popular Podcasts

1. On Purpose with Jay Shetty

1. On Purpose with Jay Shetty

I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!

2. 24/7 News: The Latest

2. 24/7 News: The Latest

Today’s Latest News In 4 Minutes. Updated Hourly.

3. The Joe Rogan Experience

3. The Joe Rogan Experience

The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.

Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.

Connect

© 2024 iHeartMedia, Inc.