Gringo's Guide To: Hispanic Heritage Month Showcase w/ Antonio Fernandez

Dramos kicks off Hispanic Heritage Month showcasing a conversation with community memeber Antonio Fernandez on his show the Multiracialverse Podcast. The two dive deep into Dramos' history and upbringing and how he found his authentic voice.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:06):
Let me talk about So here we go, he said,
he live in life as a ringo, where you questioned
where you fit in every time you mingle, they say you.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
Do this with not of that.

Speaker 3 (00:17):
My rapp is really mad this life pasic ngo.

Speaker 4 (00:22):
Yeah, hello, and welcome to another episode of Life as
a Gringo. I am dramas of course, and it is
of issually his Hispanic Heritage Month, although I mean, listen,
I feel like every day is like a.

Speaker 3 (00:37):
Celebration of our culture. But we'll do it extra for
this sort.

Speaker 4 (00:40):
Of awkward in between now and October fifteenth, Hispanic Heritage Month.

Speaker 3 (00:46):
The way that it falls is just it's always strange.

Speaker 4 (00:48):
There's a reason I went into it in I think,
like the first season of the podcast. It has something
to do with the independence days for the various Latin countries,
is why it falls in like a weird a weird time.
I don't remember off the top of my head exactly why. Anyway,
So I was I was racking my brain of of

(01:10):
just like what do I want to do.

Speaker 3 (01:13):
I want to do something a little bit special.

Speaker 4 (01:15):
You know, I've done episodes like Latin History you didn't know,
and maybe we'll revisit that at some point between now
and the end of Hispanic Heritage Month. But I want
to do something different, And what kind of came to
mind was like, you know, at its core, what am
I all about?

Speaker 3 (01:30):
Community? Right? The answer to that is community.

Speaker 4 (01:33):
I didn't give you much of a space there, like
I asked the rhetorical question then didn't give much of
a space. But community is the answer to that question.
I mean with what I do with the Just Be
Social Club and you're just be in general. And I
think what we've built here with this podcast, it is
the idea of community. And I thought, what would be
a really cool way to kind of kick this off

(01:54):
would be to highlight somebody from our community.

Speaker 3 (01:59):
That I think, I think is is.

Speaker 4 (02:01):
Really doing amazing stuff that I'm really proud of, and
give them, you know, the opportunity to be heard by
a new audience, you know, and that is my guy Antonio.
He actually was one of the members of our Just
Be Social Club, and you know, when him and I
first started getting together and meeting up and talking and

(02:22):
having conversations, you know, he was kind of, I don't know,
it lost a bit as far as looking for something creative.
You know, looking for a way to scratch that creative itch,
and he dreamed of of starting a podcast, and since
then he's gone on to to do it, and he's
been consistent with it and he's been growing it, and
I don't know, man, I'm just super proud. And it's

(02:43):
not easy anybody who's attempts to do this, it's hard
to be consistent with it. And I've been really impressed
to see his dedication. So I actually wanted to share
an episode of his podcast, which is called the Multiracial
Verse Podcast, and you know, I think it's very much
in line with what we we talk about here on
Life Physic g Dingo.

Speaker 3 (03:03):
You know.

Speaker 4 (03:03):
Originally him, I got connected because he was listening to
this podcast. So he actually had me on as a
guest on his podcast, and I wanted to share that
for anybody who hadn't heard it, and you know, just
highlight one of our amazing community members who is out there,
you know, pursuing what they they love and doing the work,
and again who is in line with all we talk about.

(03:24):
You know, for him, it's this idea of being other,
just like in Physical Ingo, you know, and and talking
about being multicultural, you know, biracial and really highlighting just amazing,
amazing people in in the podcast that he's been doing
thus far.

Speaker 3 (03:43):
So yeah, I don't know, man.

Speaker 4 (03:44):
I just felt like, what a way to start off
Hispanic Heritage Month here than just like giving somebody from
our community a little bit of much deserved light and shine.

Speaker 3 (03:54):
And I was really, you know, in.

Speaker 4 (03:57):
Impressed with the conversation and the questions. And I think
it's also a cool opportunity for anybody who's interested to
maybe get to know me a little bit more and
you know, have somebody asking me the questions and me
maybe giving you a little bit more of a background
as to who I am and how I grew up
and all those things. So that's how we're going to

(04:17):
kick off Hispanic Heritage Mouth. We're going to highlight a
member of our community that I think is doing amazing stuff.
The Multi Racial Verse podcast is an episode with me
as the guest and will do it as a part
of Army Hente Segments.

Speaker 2 (04:39):
Dramas. Welcome to the Multiracial Verse. How you doing today?

Speaker 4 (04:42):
I'm good man, Thank you for having me and congrats
on the podcast.

Speaker 3 (04:47):
This is awesome.

Speaker 2 (04:48):
Yeah, yeah, no, I appreciate your time. And I'm sure
it will come up later to the inspiration you were
on me pursuing something like this. Seeing seeing you and
and and your space doing it and you know, loving
that representation was the push I needed to do something similar.

(05:10):
So I really appreciate everything you've done for for LATINX
and Hispanic individuals in this space.

Speaker 4 (05:16):
So thank you, Thank you man. That's a that's a
really nice thing for you to say. Man, I appreciate that. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (05:22):
Yeah, So you know, today we're here to talk to you,
to you about you. Man. You know, we'll talk well,
obviously the things about the work you do and and
other things will come up, but you know, I want
to you know, I want my audience and listeners to
learn more about dramas and your multiculturalism with tell me

(05:45):
a little bit about your background, your parents, where you
were born, and you know where your parents were born
and yeah, we'll go from there.

Speaker 3 (05:54):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (05:55):
So my my parents are Puerto Rican dad born and
raised in in Puerto Rico on the island. My mom
born and raised in New York, and that's where I
was was born as well, in New York and then
basically split time between New York and in New Jersey
for for my upbringing.

Speaker 3 (06:14):
So I guess my my cultural background is you.

Speaker 4 (06:18):
Know, like New yorreakan mother and and then a very
proud uh born and raised Puerto Rican and my father.

Speaker 2 (06:26):
Right, And when you say split time, does that mean
you went back and forth in between these or you
lived in both places?

Speaker 3 (06:33):
Yeah, it was. It was weird.

Speaker 4 (06:34):
So my mom was a teacher in the Bronx and
and I they had moved to Jersey when I was
pretty young, but because we had nobody to basically you know,
watch me or pick me up from school in New Jersey,
I actually went to school in the Bronx where she taught,
and and so I was kind of in and out of,
you know, both worlds. We'd stay a lot with my

(06:54):
grandmother in the Bronx throughout the week, and then I'd
be home in Jersey on the weekend. So it really
was literally like back and forth throughout the course of
the week. And then even as an adult, you know,
I lived in Brooklyn for a short period of time,
and more recently, you know lived literally right across the
water from New York. So I kind of play both
New York and Jersey as home.

Speaker 2 (07:16):
And your father lived in the States though too. Right
with your mom, you've got you all lived in Jersey together.

Speaker 3 (07:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (07:22):
So my dad was was born in Puerto Rico, and
then at some point in his like teenage years, kind
of the typical story of you know, they moved to
New York. I've had some family out there for better opportunities,
maybe for work and things like that financially. So he
lived out there for a while as a teenager as well.
Then I think he moved back late teens, early twenties,

(07:45):
and then eventually meeting my mom and yet living in
New York throughout the course of his twenties until they
moved into Jersey.

Speaker 2 (07:54):
Excellent. I know you mentioned, and like I said, we'll
talk about it probably in a few your your podcast
life as a Gringo, especially in the early episodes, so people,
if you're out there and listen to those early episodes,
they're awesome. There was a conversation with your parents and
you talk about how your dad calling you and your

(08:15):
mom wore New yor Ricans, and yeah, there was a
difference between him and being being from the island, being
born and raised and then come over from the island.
What did this look like in your household in Jersey.
Was there a noticeable culture difference between what your father
wanted to do in the in the household and what
your mother wanted to do around traditions, religion and things

(08:39):
like that.

Speaker 4 (08:40):
I don't know if it was like if it was
super deep in that way. I think it was one
of those weird things where it was like half joking
but like you know, but also very much a distinction
of being you know, sort of born and raised over there.

Speaker 3 (08:56):
I don't, I don't know, you know.

Speaker 4 (08:58):
I think my dad he definitely was, you know, very
influential as far as like politically teaching me things about
the island, about really making it a point for me
to have a sense of pride about the island right where.
I think if I was born to you know, somebody
who was born and raised in New York, just like
my mom, I think we would still be proud Puerto Ricans.

(09:19):
But I don't think I would have a real sort
of main tie to it in the same way that
I do now, you know where. I really do feel
like it is home when I go back there, and
we grew up very much so it feeling that way
when we went every summer things like that because he
was from there, because he sort of was able to
navigate it locally, and we had so much family and

(09:41):
a house over there and things like that. So I
think that's probably the biggest distinction if I think about
it in terms of like maybe other people that I
know from New York orps are also Puerto Rican, where
I think there was a maybe a greater sense of
pride just because he was from there. I think the
one thing I would say that is interesting to me

(10:03):
that as I like think about it as you're you're
asking me, that I did sort of witness my father
always longing to be back over there, you know what
I mean, feeling like he was missing something. So I
think that that's a really uh has a profound impact
on me in retrospect when I just think about how

(10:23):
much the island means to him and and all that stuff,
you know. So I think that was probably maybe one
of the main differences. I think my mom is very
much a proud perto Rica, but there's just a different
level of I think the depth to it when it
when you talk about how my father is versus her.

Speaker 2 (10:38):
Yeah, yeah, what what do you what type of impact
do you think that it had on you back then?
Did you Did you realize it really back then when
you were young that your father always talked about this
place or longed for this other place.

Speaker 4 (10:53):
I think, you know, it became more of like a
joke almost for us, you know, because he would he
would complain about traffic in New Jersey and talked about
he's just gonna go back to Puerto Rico, or he
complained about the winters or whatever.

Speaker 3 (11:04):
It was, right. But I think now as an adult,
when you really.

Speaker 4 (11:09):
You know, sort of think about it on a much
deeper level, it's it's really somebody, I think, making a
distinction of of you know, that that place is always home,
That is their safe space, you know what I mean.
That is is sort of the place that kind of
calls to their heart unlike anything else. And I think

(11:29):
that there is is something beautiful about that. And also
there's something I think there's got to be a part
of him that probably feels a little bit tortured not
being there almost, you know what I mean, And and
uh and and sort of not living there every day.
I think my father is probably his happiest when he
is there, you know what I mean, it's like the
things that might bother him over here are aren't so bad,

(11:52):
you know when we're over there. So I think, yeah,
I think there's as as an adult when you think
about it, there there's like, man, there's definitely probably a
part of him that he feels like he left behind
when they started this life over here.

Speaker 2 (12:06):
Yeah, I love that where you say, you know, like
that fell home to him, like that was his comfort zone.
So yeah, how how how did how were you raised
at home as far as like language? Were you speaking
Spanish at home?

Speaker 1 (12:22):
No?

Speaker 4 (12:22):
But I ironically both my mother and father are fluent
in Spanish and can both you know, read, write, and
speak Spanish, and and would talk to each other in Spanish,
but they would talk to myself and my sister in English,
you know. So really the only reason why I know
that any Spanish that I do now which I can
understand it, you know, pretty fluently, and I can you know,

(12:44):
get by speaking it when I do go back to
Puerto Rico and things like that, that's because of my grandmother,
who would spend time with us throughout the the you know,
the the summers usually or throughout the school year. I
can't remember which she flipped and I think it was
about the school year she would stay with us. But
but yeah, so she you know, didn't speak great English,
so we we always had this kind of running joke

(13:05):
of of I would teach her English and she would
teach me Spanish. You know. So that was that was
like our relationship, and she was like a big you know,
maternal figure for me in my life. So uh that
that's the reason why I can understand it and and
why i'm you know, able to to speak what I
can is is because of everything she taught me when
it comes to that. But if it wasn't for her,

(13:27):
I would be, you know, pretty much clueless like my
my sister is is you know, far worse to speaking
Spanish than I am, because she just didn't spend as
much time with my grandmother as I did as a
young kid.

Speaker 2 (13:39):
Did you Did your parents give you a reason why
they did and where was the idea of being assimilated
into the culture that you were living in? Was that
part of the conversation. Probably not when you were younger,
but maybe as you were growing older, you know, they
may be admitted to that.

Speaker 4 (13:56):
Yeah, I don't, I don't know if it was as
conscious for them when it came to the language. There
were other things as far as like the type of
haircut like I could have. I couldn't get like a
like a Caesar haircut with the skin fade, which was
like popular, you know, New York haircut during the time,
because they didn't want me to be like, you know,
sort of labeled as as something other in school or

(14:19):
things like that, you know, which is I guess their
own internalized racism as a result of of being fearful
of people judging them. But I think I don't know
if it was as conscious for them. I think to
a degree, like, yeah, they wouldn't have wanted me to
have Spanish as my first language because they knew that
it would provide, you know, a bit more of an

(14:41):
obstacle for me when it came to school and work
and things like that in the future.

Speaker 3 (14:45):
But yeah, I don't I don't think they they even
really realized that.

Speaker 4 (14:48):
I think in their mind it was just for whatever
reason they they just sort of maybe they were assimilating
themselves a little bit as well. But yeah, it was
never really like this this topic of conversation. Even now,
I don't think they've ever really given me like a
straight answer. It was just kind of one of those
things that they they sort of just spoke to us
in English and that was that.

Speaker 2 (15:08):
Yeah. And one of the things that it's toughest to
get into with these conversations because just even unraveling the
multicultural part, the multi racial part, and then looking at
the evolution of you know, your parents, your father moving,
your mother being here, and the evolution of what that
then creates is a whole other blast. You know. So

(15:31):
what did your what did your childhood look like? At school?
Did you did you think about like do you remember
like in the earliest time when you thought about, oh
wait a second, like my culture is different than the
people I'm surrounded by.

Speaker 4 (15:44):
I think once I started going to school in Jersey,
it became very obvious to me. I think when I
was doing elementary school in the Bronx, you know, when
you're just surrounded by by you know, black and brown
basically the entire you know, though anybody who was white
was a minority there, you know, or or other culture
where a minority, you know, so it was very normal

(16:06):
that majority of my classmates were black or Latin. So
I never really saw a difference and I think, you know,
the the beauty of that school system was we really
celebrated you know, cultures and you know, Black History Month
was a big deal, and you know, we would put
on plays where you know, we would like I played
a Titano Indian in a in a play at my

(16:27):
elementary school, you know, growing up.

Speaker 3 (16:28):
So like.

Speaker 4 (16:30):
You know, obviously as a kid, you're not really aware
of how amazing that is. But but yeah, in retrospect,
if we were all very much represented now when I
went started going to school in in uh in New Jersey, yeah,
there was definitely then more distinctions to be made. You know,
the I was the minority at that point, you know,
and you know, I think, uh, the then you begin

(16:56):
to sort of recognize, you know, to everybody, you're Mexican, right,
that's the that's their distinction.

Speaker 3 (17:03):
You know.

Speaker 4 (17:03):
It's that that sort of mindset that anybody's Latin is Mexican,
or people would sort of take notice that, like my
dad had an accent, so that would be like a joke.

Speaker 3 (17:13):
You know.

Speaker 4 (17:14):
So those were like little things where it was like, oh,
people are recognizing this otherness here that I didn't really
even think twice about before because it was just like.

Speaker 3 (17:24):
A normal thing, you know.

Speaker 4 (17:26):
So I think I think that even you know, as
I'm like going through a train of thought on it,
I think even when it came to like dressing a
certain way, like I can remember, like, you know, my
friend in Jersey who was like my next door neighbor
at that time, like vans or airwalk sneakers, like the
skateboarding sneakers were really big, and I wanted to pair those,

(17:48):
but like my mom was like, you're gonna get made
fun of when you go to school in New York
wearing those, you know, So like there was like this
I guess this distinction of like there are cultural.

Speaker 3 (17:56):
Differences, you know.

Speaker 4 (17:58):
But yeah, I don't think I really was like aware
of it until until I started going to school in
New Jersey. Then it was kind of like, oh, you're
you're kind of like got to pick a side almost yeah.

Speaker 2 (18:08):
Yeah, And maybe this is a little bit more of
a sensitive question, but where there biases? You know, I
know that even within cultures like LATINX culture, Hispanic culture,
there are biases towards other countries or groups, And that
was there a bias or or what did it look
like when maybe you came home and you said, oh,

(18:30):
somebody thinks I'm a Mexican or yeah, you know, you
know what did that look like? Yeah?

Speaker 4 (18:36):
I think you know, the harsh truth is and you know,
I hope, I think it's getting better. But you know,
there are internalized, you know, sort of racist ideologies that
happened within our own community, as as you know, the
Latin community.

Speaker 3 (18:52):
I mean, we're a.

Speaker 4 (18:53):
Very broad, diverse group of people, so you know, there
is a cast system that tends to happen between particular
groups or stereotypes or whatever it might be. And I think,
you know, when it comes to like somebody saying like
that your Mexican, you know, they weren't the the where
I grew up, the term Mexican was almost like a

(19:14):
like a bad word, like a slur, you know what
I mean. It wasn't used in the context of like, oh,
we're just confused, like this is your we think this
is what your culture is. It was like it was
genuinely meant to be negative, you know what I mean.
When somebody said you're a Mexican, right, that was used
to put you down. So I think I think, yeah,
that that definitely growing up there there was this negative

(19:37):
connotation around the idea of being Mexican or the way
people used it towards you, And then I think, yeah,
you have some old world ideologies, you know, from parents
or older generations where they they have their own internalized
raceism that that was sort of normalized growing up for them.
That you know, then you kind of as an adult

(19:57):
begin to unlearn and recognize it as well as being
something negative.

Speaker 2 (20:01):
And how did your parents react when you came home
after you know, maybe an incident where you face prejudiced
or or you know, some other negative bias towards you.

Speaker 4 (20:17):
I think so I was a bit of a pain
the ass as a kid, So I think, uh, there
was there was always an assumption that it was my
fault or something happened, which is probably was probably rightfully so,
but I can't actually remember, you know, in an instance
where you know, I was being targeted by teach a

(20:39):
couple of teachers, and specifically specifically a couple of teachers,
and then you know, some of the administrators, like they
had made me sign some document admitting to something right
without my parents being there, and then they basically held
this meeting after school and they had made my mom
come in and for the first time I felt like

(20:59):
my mom really was like, no, something is off here,
and she like went in on them and you know,
used all of her information as a teacher to put
these people in their place. Like, first of all, you
can't have a minor signing documents, you know, without his
parent being here, so I don't know what the hell
you guys are doing. But she basically checked all of them,
you know, And I think that was, you know, one
of those times where I think, years later, we've had

(21:20):
conversations where she felt like I was being targeted, you know,
as opposed to other the other kids in the class
who are basically doing the same thing as as me
at that point, you know. So I think definitely definitely
those kinds of things. And I think even you know,
you know, so that with being called a Mexican or
something like that, when it's used as a racial slur,
you know, I think, yeah, then those sort of things

(21:42):
of of you know, the pride of being Puerto Rican
and things like that, you know, would would come into
play as far as like you know, my my father
or something like that, or you know, I don't know
if I'm trying to think of.

Speaker 3 (21:55):
Like what the the right.

Speaker 4 (21:59):
Wording would be proper, but like the right the reaction
that he would would have. I mean he probably was
just as annoyed, Like who's time more annoyed than I was,
you know what I'm saying. So, like, you know, I
think he there never was like this conversation I think of, like, oh,
this is how you deal with it. But like, you know,
I think they they definitely were. We're probably you know,

(22:21):
annoyed by it or we're a little what was the worrying,
they were a little triggered by it as well, But yeah,
there wasn't like some like lesson of how to deal
with it. I don't think either. I think they were
just figuring out as they went along as well.

Speaker 2 (22:36):
Okay I was, Yeah, I was. I was wondering if
there was, you know, because one of the things we
try to talk about is also now we're living in
a time where there's so many tools and resources, podcasts
and other things where parents can listen to this and hear,
you know, similarities, but then be like, oh, you know
this parent reacted in this way. But yeah, sometimes it's

(22:57):
just you know, like there's just not the tools at
the time. We haven't you know, evolved as far as
being able to handle that at the time.

Speaker 4 (23:06):
So yeah, yeah, I think that's it's I mean, and
this was like their first you know, they they this
is their first house.

Speaker 3 (23:13):
You know, in the suburbs or whatever. So I think
they were like navigating it just as much as I was.

Speaker 4 (23:17):
And you know, and and kind of didn't have all
the answers or the tools, you know, or or again
was a pan as, so we don't know.

Speaker 5 (23:28):
I think there was also a question about how much
of this is is him being targeted or is he
really bringing sort of some of these negative attention upon himself.

Speaker 4 (23:38):
I think more than anything there their private strategy was
like for me to fit in more than sort of
stand up for myself in that way, which I think,
you know, is sort of what then leads to me
years later sort of having to reclaim my authenticity and
things like that, because I think that probably was more
of the defense strategy was like you just need to

(24:00):
fit in more and and act like everybody else.

Speaker 3 (24:03):
Essentially, I'm gonna hop in here real quick.

Speaker 4 (24:05):
We'll take a quick break, and then we'll be right back.
All right, We are back and now more with the
Multi Racial Verse podcast.

Speaker 2 (24:15):
And you say the school was pretty diverse, it was
the neighborhood. Uh did it have similar diversity in the
suburbs or did it shift to a much higher, you know,
population demographic of non bypoch And did you see your parents?
I know a lot of questions, but did you see
your parents subjected to any type of prejudice or racism

(24:36):
in the neighborhood that that stuck out?

Speaker 4 (24:40):
Yeah, so I think first part of that it was
a primarily Italian, Irish and Polish neighborhood, you know, so
there was you know, not a ton of diverse. I mean,
it wasn't you know, I can't. I also can't say
that there was it was strictly just like white people,
but there was. It was far more segregated to a degree,

(25:02):
you know where I think kind of like in your
typical like high school or movie or coming of age
movie where it's like the jocks and the cheer is right,
I think it was like, yeah, like in our school,
it was like the black kids hung together, the Latin
kids hung together, but Asian kids hung together, you know,
the Indian kids hung together. So it you know, and
obviously like you were friends and cool with everybody for

(25:23):
the most part. It wasn't like this hostile environment, but
it was like everybody kind of had like a home
base almost, you know. And for me, I think the
Latin kids there didn't embrace me, so my home base
was like the white kids, you know. And then I think,
you know, the the ladder half for your question, like

(25:44):
my parents dealing with racism or things like that. There
was definitely like I remember one instance with like a
neighbor where she was like annoyed and this when I
was like a little bit older, but like she was
annoyed that, like we're parking a car, like honestly it
wasn't even in front of her house, but like, you
know whatever, she's annoyed that, uh, that we were parking
a car on the street, and she like was like

(26:08):
yelling at me about parking my car there, and like
was claiming that I had like you know, ten people
living in my house or something like that, which was like,
you know, not even the case. A, it's her business,
but b that wasn't the case. So it was like
that was obviously like a racist trope of hers, like oh,
of course, these Latin people have a million people living
in their house or whatever. So that was like one
and then I think, you know, more so like dealing

(26:29):
with like police and things like that in the area.
It definitely was like seemed like, uh, you know, like
I remember my one of my friends who is is
Puerto Rican when we like first got our license, like
you know he had, he was driving Mercedes, and like
we would get pulled over just because they were like,
this isn't what it should be your car type of thing,

(26:49):
you know, so little little things like like that, I guess,
you know, which again at the time I didn't even
realize was like like we were really being targeted. But
like my parents, like when I heard them having a
conversation about it, it was like, oh, that's why they're you know,
pulling him over, is because he's some Latin kid driving
Mercedes and how could this be his car type of thing?
Little stuff like like like that. I think, uh, yeah,

(27:09):
it was definitely like around and that they had to
deal with it. I guess I wasn't privy. Two tois
like a teenager a little bit more aware of it.

Speaker 2 (27:17):
Sure, and as and as a teenage dramas. It sounds
like you said your social group tended to lean more
towards the white kids.

Speaker 4 (27:26):
Yeah, because I mean, you know, the the Latin kids
would sort of accuse me of talking white or being white,
you know, And I think they were sort of existing
in the trope of sort of like hip hop culture
and things like that where that was like the only
way to speak if you were a person of color,

(27:46):
you know. And and even like you know, some of
the black kids who were into like things like anime
or whatever, like they were accused of being white, right
like the kids who accused of being nerdy or whatever.

Speaker 3 (27:57):
It is, like those are those are just trophes that
like exist, you know.

Speaker 4 (28:02):
And so so it was one of those things where
it was like, yeah, they I didn't really feel like
I completely fit in. And not to say that like again,
I had any issues or anything like that. I think
I was. I was one of those people who was
pretty much cool with everybody. But like if you looked
at my circle of close friends who I saw on
a regular basis, you know, they were primarily white and similar.

Speaker 2 (28:23):
I mean, I grew up in Wyoming, so like I
didn't really have an option. Besides, but looking back now,
do you see what we call now microaggressions happening between
you and your boys, you know, like, you know, looking back,
you know, the groups that you hung with.

Speaker 4 (28:42):
Yeah, I think I think, I don't know, it's I
don't know, it's interesting. I think I think there was
some maybe racism or I'm careful youse that that word,
because I think intention matters, But I think there was

(29:02):
definitely some some ignorance on their part to what potentially
could be offensive, as well as sort of not seeing
my perspective, you know, and not understanding why I might
feel differently or why I might feel a different or
why might feel a type of way. You know, I
think and I think that again, you're you're a kid,

(29:25):
You're not really aware of it.

Speaker 3 (29:26):
It's just kind of like is a part of it.

Speaker 4 (29:28):
I mean, but they, you know, even like the white
kids would try to tell me that like, oh, you're
a fake Puerto Rican or whatever, like whatever this means, right,
because everybody had their own sort of idea of what
a Puerto Rican was look like and sounded like. You know.
And then even now years later, as an adult, as
I've become more outspoken, you know, I've had friends that
I grew up with sort of have those microaggressions or

(29:52):
sort of accused me of like claiming some sort of
victimhood in it because and they think just because we
grew up on the same block, that my experience was
exactly the same as theirs, right. And I think that's
a bit of where that that ignorance kind of comes
into play, where you know, it's not necessarily like malicious,
but it's also you know, it's ignorant and you know,

(30:14):
still hurtful.

Speaker 3 (30:15):
Nonetheless, where do.

Speaker 2 (30:16):
You think you saw the first kind of coming out
of dramas as as this person who is recognizing that,
you know, you're raised in this one culture that's different
than you know, the culture of your parents. Uh, and
you start to get curious about it. Do you remember
when that.

Speaker 4 (30:35):
Was as far as like my you know, wanting to
embrace you know, and be a little bit more involved
in my community. Yes, yes, I mean it was a
really long process, like a slow process, you know, I think, Yeah,
I don't, I don't know what you know, I think.

Speaker 3 (30:54):
I hate to say it. I mean, it really wasn't
that long ago most when I.

Speaker 4 (30:56):
Really think about it, it really was like I think
once I started getting more involved in radio and at
the breakfast club. That was probably more of a turning point,
you know, for me, And which again is like, you know,
we're talking about like Trump's first term, so really not

(31:17):
that long ago, you know, so.

Speaker 3 (31:21):
So I mean, you know, we're talking twenty sixteen ish,
you know.

Speaker 4 (31:24):
So I think I had my own internal narrative that
I was telling myself, right, where on one hand, I
was proud to be Puerto Rican.

Speaker 3 (31:35):
I didn't hide it.

Speaker 4 (31:36):
I didn't try to like pretend like you know, I still,
you know, wore things with a Puerto Rican flag as
any Puerto Rican, any proud Porto Rican does, But like
I didn't really understand, you know, sort of what I
was lacking as well when it comes to like really
embracing the culture, right, because I would I would come
up with you know, narratives in my mind as far

(31:58):
as like, you know, why I wasn't more involved in
my community, right, I think there was this resentment of
not being embraced, you know, or even as like a
single young man like I would I would tell myself,
I'm not attracted to Latin women because they remind me
of my family or whatever, right, And and that was
me having a defense mechanism you know where because I

(32:23):
was shunned by Latin women growing up that like then
I just kind of flipped the narrative in my head
where it was like, well, I don't even like them anyway, right,
And I think, you know, then sort of being at
the at the Breakfast Club, and because even when I
first started radio as at pop stations and I was
again around mostly white people, you know, but then going

(32:45):
to the Breakfast Club and it's a you know show
that's like unapologetically black, I just saw the sense of
pride that they had and it really sort of like
showed me what I was missing almost, you know what
I mean, the connection to my community.

Speaker 3 (32:57):
And then you know, all the nonsense with Trump.

Speaker 4 (33:00):
And then you know, Hurricane Maria hitting Puerto Rico and
really devastating the island. That was sort of my like
come to Jesus moment where I was watching it on
the news and I just like felt something inside of
me just completely change and like want to you know,
get back to my roots almost and in some sort
of way that but I think, you know, that was

(33:20):
sort of a very long and slow process.

Speaker 3 (33:22):
And then Maria was probably like the the big kind
of hit.

Speaker 4 (33:26):
And then you know, from there, I don't know the Again,
it was a really slow evolution and again just getting
more comfortable with my voice. When I saw you know,
the Breakfast Club and all them being unapologetic about their
views and their fighting for for you know, visibility and
and things like that and the black community, it became
allowed me to become more and more comfortable with embracing

(33:47):
my own stuff and wanting to advocate as well, you know,
wanting to be that representation as much as I could
be as well.

Speaker 2 (33:56):
Yeah, that's that's beautiful man. And I love that about
your podcast too, because you're very open about your journey
and about the work that you've done. Can you share
a little bit about that journey that you just mentioned
and what was involved in that unraveling of this self

(34:19):
identity to where you are today.

Speaker 4 (34:24):
I mean, it's just like it's being more and more
comfortable with being vulnerable, and it's incredibly difficult, you know,
because these are things I'm I'm have been have been
taught to be embarrassed about, you know what I mean,
Like not fitting in, Like it's embarrassing to not fit
into your community and to speak about those types of
things right, like for me, I would would you know,

(34:46):
sort of rather have I don't know, like code switching really,
you know, like code switching would happen, you know, And
and to to sort of own the fact that I
have this otherness within my own community and to speak
about how it hurt me, you know, that was.

Speaker 3 (35:02):
You know, a exercise in vulnerability. And I think.

Speaker 4 (35:07):
Probably you know, yeah, I think I just kept slowly
just peeling back more and more layers. And I think
I was blessed that I was starting to get a
little bit of an audience from the Breakfast Club Association
and that I had that feedback loop happening. Particularly like
during the pandemic, I was doing a lot of like

(35:28):
Instagram lives, and I started just like seeing that when
I was doing the like talking about things that made
me cringe about myself or that made me embarrassed or
whatever it was, I saw that it was resonating with people, right,
and I was getting like positive feedback, you know, And
I think, you know, that really began to like give
me the okay to kind of be like, oh, I

(35:49):
should explore this more, you know, because it is resonating
with people. Ironically, it's giving me, you know, the bits
of success that I had been searching for, you know,
the more honest being. And I think, you know, as
I'm forever greatful anybody that you know supports you. But
but also particularly during that time period, because I think
that that you know, group of people who who was

(36:10):
riding with me during that time like really for the
first time allowed me to like be brave and be
vulnerable and really just show up as authentic as I
was capable of in that moment, which is like you know,
has allowed me to really create the life that I
have now. So I think, yeah, it's just slowly peeling
back the layers and just talking right, like the saying
staying the hard stuff out loud. I mean even you know,

(36:32):
even this conversation around like how late in life I
feel like I found, you know, my authenticity or my
attachment to culture. Like I still feel a little bit
embarrassed about that, but but you know, I think it's uh,
it's again, you know, the more you you sort of
challenge yourself to to speaking about it, I think it
you know, as with with anything in life, the better
you are communicating, you're going to have stronger relationships or

(36:55):
or better quality relationships In your life that that actually
are fulfilling, you know, rather and sort of just like
surface level, you know, where you don't have to actually
dig anything up or connect in any sort of deep way.

Speaker 2 (37:06):
Yeah. Yeah, I think that you know, just your introspection though,
is a gift just what you know. The way you
explain it is that a lot of people don't either
have that awareness or come to terms with the idea
of their multicultural or other things, and you know, they
don't share with the therapists or with others in a

(37:28):
way that gets them to think about like, wow, this
had an impact on my life. So you know, I
appreciate the space that you've created in your on your
podcast and then the just Spak Club, I'm and hop
in here.

Speaker 4 (37:40):
We'll take a quick break and then we'll be right back.
All right, we are back and now more with the
Multiracial Verse podcast.

Speaker 2 (37:50):
I'm gonna take one quick step back, which is you
talk about in some of your early podcasts about the
way you wanted to go professionally, which was you wanted
to be get into music. It wasn't something that your
parents you felt supported you on. Tell me a little
bit about that journey to to through wanting to do

(38:15):
music and to the profession you're at now, and how
what your parents did impacted what you thought you could
do as a LATINX individual.

Speaker 4 (38:30):
Yeah, I think, you know, my parents, like any other parent,
you know, they want the.

Speaker 3 (38:35):
Best for you. They want you to have the easier route,
the pathway to success.

Speaker 4 (38:38):
And like we know, we've all been sold this this
dream of the white pig, Ben's American dream and type
of thing in college and all that kind of stuff,
and you know, get a good job in a traditional space.

Speaker 3 (38:51):
You know.

Speaker 4 (38:51):
So I think that was sort of what was expected.
And I think, you know, they had their own limiting beliefs.
You know, my father in particular, you know, came from
a poor background, a single mother of three boys, you know,
and and you know, for her, her greatest goal was
just to make sure that she helped them get through
college so they can get a job, and you know,

(39:11):
that was a success, you know. So I think for
him there was sort of these a lot of limiting
beliefs around that, you know, and that was sort of
passed down onto me. You know, this idea that anybody
who's successful or wealthy, generally speaking, was born into money
or born into connections, right, neither of which I had,
right so, so it was impossible for me to find that.

(39:33):
And and I think all of that tied into them
the idea that like, I'm trying to do this this
route that is particularly difficult in general that they've never
seen anybody find success in. And and you know, I
think their own fears are are sort of what pushed
them to create certain narratives or to not support it completely,

(39:55):
you know. And to their credit, it's not like I
also have to like give them credit where it was
never like ultimatum where it was like either you go
to college or kicking you out of the house type
of thing.

Speaker 2 (40:04):
You know.

Speaker 4 (40:04):
I never had to worry about that, And that's the
level of privilege not a lot of people can also say, right, like,
I always knew how to place to sleep and food
and things.

Speaker 3 (40:11):
Like that, you know. So to their credit, there was
there was that.

Speaker 4 (40:15):
But I think, you know, I was always a kid
who thought about things a little bit differently than those
around him, and that's probably what also got me into trouble,
you know. And I think you know, for them, a
lot of their parenting would was like a comparison game
to me, or my friends and be like, oh, so
and so isn't doing that.

Speaker 3 (40:32):
Why are you doing that?

Speaker 2 (40:33):
Right?

Speaker 4 (40:33):
And I think that begins to like instill in a
kid where it's like, oh, I need to be more
like this person, or there's something wrong with me because
I'm thinking of things differently, right Whereas you know, now
I think I'm not a parent yet, but knowing what
I know for my own situation, if I'm seeing a
kid that is incredibly intelligent but like is having problems

(40:54):
in school or like, but it has other interests, rather
than like punishing him, there, what's the motive I can
give that kid to like be able to dive more
into his interests but like also get the result that
I want, right, So not like manishing him, but saying like, hey,
if you you know, or don't get in trouble at school,
will help you with this interest that you have and
you can do that on the weekends or whatever, you know,

(41:16):
which again, like they did that to a degree, but
it was I think for me, I was searching for
a co sign of somebody to believe that I could
do something different, you know, not just appeasing me because
I wanted to do it, but also have a belief
that I was good enough to do it, you know,
And I think, yeah, again, their own.

Speaker 3 (41:38):
Ignorance to the fields that I.

Speaker 4 (41:40):
Was interested in, particularly music growing up, Like, I don't
think they recognized my talent or my skill or something
like that. Right to them, it was just kind of whatever,
and they sort of always needed an outside person to
co sign like, oh, he's actually good at what he's doing, right,
And then it would be like, oh, maybe I should
look at this a different way, like I could. Like
for me, when I was playing drums as a kid,

(42:01):
I remember like going into guitar Center and how to
play around the drum kits, and like, you know, there
was a couple of times where I would get like
a crowd around me watching me play, and that was
like the first time I, like my parents like, oh,
I think he's actually like, you know, he actually might
be decent at this, you know, this this.

Speaker 3 (42:15):
Thing, right, And it was like the first time they
acknowledged that, right.

Speaker 4 (42:19):
Which you know, again, it's not like these aren't you know,
incredibly traumatic stories on the surface, but but they do
add to this sort of narrative in your own mind
of like man, like I can't I'm not being seen
by those closest to me, you know.

Speaker 3 (42:33):
So I think that that's probably a lot of the.

Speaker 4 (42:36):
You know, sort of the groundwork for my journey in that,
and then you know, the music stuff. It eventually, as
I graduated high school, I was sort of in and
out of college for a while, and I was, you know,
pursuing music as being in a band that we were
touring and everything was like very DIY. So it was
like booking our own shows through my Space on tours
and things like that. I wasn't making any money, but
we're building towards this bigger dream. My parents didn't get it,

(42:59):
of course, you know. And and I think for me,
then the pathway eventually became one of rebellion where I'm
going to prove them wrong, you know, which was a great,
a great sort of motivator. Now at this point in
my life where I'm at now, I sort of see
the negative aspects of it because it created a lot
of resentment towards them for a while.

Speaker 3 (43:18):
You know.

Speaker 4 (43:19):
I think like oftentimes when you have that i'mble to
prove you wrong mentality, It is great, It is powerful
in its own way, but it also is like dirty
fuel almost you know what I mean where it's like
it's not It might get you to where you want
to be, but like, you know, it's not going to
fulfill you in the way that you really need to
be happy.

Speaker 3 (43:38):
You know, you're gonna have to do some self work
after the fact, you know.

Speaker 4 (43:40):
So, yeah, that was that was kind of the journey
of music and you know, from playing in bands to
then becoming a DJ and then you know, meeting people
on radio and all that sort of transition.

Speaker 3 (43:49):
You know, throughout the entire course.

Speaker 4 (43:51):
Of that, they really didn't get it or understand it,
probably until like I think unsil I bought my house,
like what three years go. At this point it was
like when they were like, oh, I think this is
actually like a real thing for him now, you know.
Uh so yeah, so that it's been just a weird,
a weird ride of that.

Speaker 2 (44:09):
Yeah, yeah, no, I love that. Thank you so much
for sharing that. And I wish I don't know, you
might might maybe be on the fringe of being able
to have like actual videos of you playing the drums
in the music store, right, you know.

Speaker 3 (44:21):
Oh yeah, cool to see.

Speaker 4 (44:24):
Yeah, I think I don't know if I have anything
back then, but there's definitely like old videos for me
and my band and stuff like that, playing drums.

Speaker 3 (44:31):
That's awesome shows.

Speaker 2 (44:32):
Yeah, and so you you mentioned a couple of things.
I love the word dirty fuel, the words dirty fuel
you use. I love that, but probably co op that
and use that.

Speaker 3 (44:41):
It's great.

Speaker 2 (44:42):
And also talking about approval, I don't know if you
know you mentioned it wasn't you know? These these don't
sound traumatic. But I don't think approval from our parents
has to be as harsh as our parents telling us
we worth anything to be being more of those unconscious,
just non cognition types of approval that happened to a

(45:03):
lot of people and just a lot of parents just
started in that space. I mean, I'm familiar with with that.
You know, your story sounds very very similar in that
way to mind.

Speaker 4 (45:14):
So well, yeah, no, I mean I think I definitely
want to sort of piggyback on that because I think
you're right. I think approve especially as a kid man,
because this is like, you know, when you're all that
we do, you know.

Speaker 3 (45:30):
And like the career path that I have is a
series of risks.

Speaker 4 (45:34):
You know, And I think what happens to a lot
of people like a lot of people I talked to
don't ever even start because they're scared of taking that risk,
you know, And it's because they never got that co
sign for the most part of like, no, you're talented,
you're skilled, you could really do whatever you put your
mind to and truly, but you know, somebody actually really believe.

Speaker 3 (45:55):
That, you know.

Speaker 4 (45:56):
And I'm lucky that, like the rebellion was strong enough
in me that I was able to push past those
fears and that self doubt, but it still followed me
throughout the court entire course of my career until this day.

Speaker 3 (46:09):
It's still something I struggle with, is.

Speaker 4 (46:11):
You know, really believing that I am good at what
I do, or that I am worthy just as much
as anybody else, or not making myself smaller in rooms
with people that I respect because I don't feel like
I deserve to be there, right, That's still something I
struggle with, and it is because I didn't get that
reinforcement of like people recognizing my skill on my talent,

(46:34):
you know, until again after the fact, when I actually
found success already and the outside worlds confirmed it for them.
That is when they sort of were able to see it, right,
And that is sort of I think probably what took
me so long to get to a place of really
being able to live in my authenticity. And it's still
something I again struggle with till this day of you know,
taking out that wiring that still exists in there somewhere.

Speaker 2 (46:56):
And so looking back being that child that you just
explained that still you know, lives inside of us in
one way or another, you know, until we pass. Uh,
What what would you say to parents as far as hey,
here's a recommendation, I went the resentment path and that

(47:17):
dirty fuel like it was no good for anyone. What
would you say to parents, your parents, maybe even just
your parents dealing with you as that child nowadays? How
would you want to be handled? Do you think or
what do you think is a proper way to handle
that child?

Speaker 4 (47:33):
I think, you know, recognizing just like the intuitiveness of
human beings, even kids, right, they already kind of know
what they're into, and even they want to try a
million things like I think you have to respect when
they're passionate about something right and you don't have to
understand it. It's not all for you to understand and
doesn't have to have this pathway you know that is

(47:54):
you know, straight and and and.

Speaker 3 (47:56):
Easy to sort of see where it ends up.

Speaker 4 (47:58):
I think also understanding that like life is, you know,
while it's short, it's also incredibly long. You don't have
to have it all figured out, you know, in your
twenties or whatever it is, right, And I think that's
also part of the issue, is thinking like we're all
on this rush, you know, and like you have to
have figured out by eighteen years old and then go
to school four and you know whatever.

Speaker 3 (48:16):
I think just having a little bit more patience.

Speaker 4 (48:18):
I think again, if your kid is like naturally devoting
their time to something and really going in on it,
I think you have to in whatever way you can
help them harness that and push them to really explore
that interest, you know what I mean. And I think
for me, in looking back, if I was able to
like go back and just like coach my parents throughout

(48:41):
during part you know, certain times in my.

Speaker 3 (48:42):
Life, I would be like, yeah, you don't get it.

Speaker 4 (48:45):
But look at your kid is literally like on the
internet doing research on the music business by himself for
like hours on end, you know what I mean. He's
watching every documentary on artists. He's like learning things. Or
when I got into like djaying and producing music. I was,
you know, from the time they went to bed to
my time my mom woke up to get ready for
work in the morning, I was working on music, you know.

(49:05):
And there were times I was doing that on the weekends,
and it's like I would be like, oh, my son,
who's twenty one years old is staying on a Friday
night to work on music. Like that's a little bit different,
you know, like I should give some sort of encouragement
there or acknowledgement, like I don't get it, but like
I see you're really passionate about this.

Speaker 3 (49:21):
You're working hard at this sort of thing, you know.

Speaker 4 (49:24):
So I think that sort of are little things that
can give a kid confidence to really believe they can
they can sort of make something happen, you know. And
I would even encourage, like even if it's like, hey,
you don't get it completely, I would support that and
find ways where it's like if somebody like me who
hated school and was sort of just getting by because
it had zero interest in being there, have a real

(49:47):
conversation like I get it, I don't understand this isn't
for you, you don't like it, But what can I do
to sort of make sure you're doing what you have
to get done, and then we support you and the
things that actually interest you.

Speaker 3 (49:56):
You know.

Speaker 4 (49:57):
That's sort of what I think my methology would be
as I sort of think back to, you know, what
what mistakes were made or what could have been better?
And and I think I'm also blessed with like the
idea that I'm doing it where I have the perspective
of somebody who actually made what seemed impossible happen, you know,
so I know it's possible as long as you put

(50:19):
in the hard work, right. So I think I have
a privilege there where I actually can like genuinely believe
people can bring, you know, ideas to life and be
successful because I've seen it happen for myself. Whereas with
my parents, you know, who took a more traditional route,
I think that was a little bit more difficult for
them to visualize.

Speaker 2 (50:35):
Yeah, that's great, great, Thank you so much. You just
mentioned hard work. I know that a lot of times
as a LATINX individual, Hispanic individual, we we attached hard
work to like a cultural thing. Do you feel that
you've ever now now because because you went the route

(50:56):
of an entrepreneur and not the traditional round of going
to school, which which you know, going to school stuff.
I mean I went that route too, but the entrepreneur rough,
you know, a lot less certainty. I think going that route.
Do you feel that that idea of, you know, the
cultural connection to hard work being latin X has affected

(51:18):
you negatively or positive?

Speaker 3 (51:20):
I think it's it's sort of hard work in the
sense of like.

Speaker 4 (51:27):
Actual grueling work is more what I'm thinking of when
I hear it, right, I think that's far more of
the connotation I'm familiar with, the idea of like work
is supposed to suck, You're just supposed to do it.

Speaker 3 (51:38):
And get by type of thing, you know.

Speaker 4 (51:40):
And I think that normalization probably is was what I
was more hyper aware of and what really caused rebel
was like seeing my dad miserable, you know, busting his
ass each day, coming home from work tired and things
like that.

Speaker 3 (51:56):
That had a big influence on me as far as
like my rebellion, where like I never want.

Speaker 4 (52:01):
To do that or fall into what I saw as
a trap, you know, where it was like you're working
this job that you hate and you have no choice
because it's what you have to do to sort of provide,
you know, because you have responsibilities, you know what I mean.
So I think for me, that sort of hard work
in the sense of like keep your head down and

(52:23):
just you know, collect the check that had a profound
effect on me as as me seeing it as the
polar opposite of what I wanted for my life.

Speaker 2 (52:29):
Oh that's great, that's great awareness. Let's get into life
as a gringo. So that was born out of your
desire to you know, I need to investigate your multiculturalism,
bring that, bring more representation to life. For that, tell
us a little bit about life as a gringo and

(52:50):
the just Spak club that you formed out of that.

Speaker 4 (52:53):
Yeah, so life is a greenco is my my baby.
That's my first podcast of me on my own. But
you know, it was conceptualized basically of this idea of
living in the gray area, you know, of the idea
of not being like Latin enough for your family back home,
but then you know, sort of being other when you

(53:14):
were in a white environment, you know, and and sort
of the feeling that you don't actually exist anywhere, you know.
And and I use the word gringo because that's what
I would be called by like family back home, essentially
back in Puerto Rico, I should say, you know, so
it's just me really like you know, owning my my
otherness and and sort of like a subtle middle finger
to that distinction, you know what I mean, And and yeah.

Speaker 3 (53:37):
So that's sort of the was sort of the I
don't know.

Speaker 4 (53:42):
The first real thing I went off on my own
originally was a book idea. It wasn't even a podcast idea.
I was just like thinking of a book I wanted
to write. And then when I sort of got into
this space of a Latin podcast network being started at
at I heard Radio have a partnership with and as
I was preparing to kind of get in a meeting
with them, life is Bring. It was actually my second pitch,

(54:03):
wasn't even the first one I went in ironically, and
it was sort of just like on a whim, let
me just see if they like this idea. So yeah,
that was really really just me trying to tackle the
idea of otherness. And I think it was like me
for the first time that that was really my coming
out party of me just standing on on my my

(54:23):
own two feet of like this is who I am,
Like hated or love it, right, And that's why the
name is a bit polarizing in general for people, because
it is just me sort of just like, you know,
being okay with people not liking her or not liking
me or not understanding it whatever it is, right, it's
sort of polarizing by by design almost.

Speaker 3 (54:42):
So that's that's that. And then you know, it's sort
of just become.

Speaker 4 (54:44):
This this sort of audio diary, if you will, of
a person just growing and trying to be better and trying.

Speaker 3 (54:53):
To be a positive.

Speaker 4 (54:56):
Contributor to their community, you know, and and and trying
to share the lessons they're learning along the way, and
to invite other people on who are experts in their
own field or who have gone through similar journeys of
their own and and and uh, you know, I have
interesting stories to to share with others to inspire them
at the end of the day, you know. So that's
that's basically life is a going to go on a

(55:16):
nutshell and then you know, for from there, you know, uh,
the really you know, the reality is once you kind
of start doing this type of stuff, you always want
to go deeper and deeper, you know. And and for me,
it was like I wanted to connect with people beyond
just sort of speaking, you know, into what feels like
the great abyss sometimes, right, I report in a room

(55:37):
by myself, you know, and I don't know how people
are receiving it generally, right, you get some like cool
comments and stuff like that, but like, you know, I'm
not I'm not there to see people's reaction in real time.
I don't know exactly who's being affected by it or
what what you know is resonating in real time. And also,
you know, especially kind of in the virtual world that

(55:59):
we exist in now. For me, it was like, man,
I really want to be a part of something. I
want to you know, create what I've been looking for.
So that's when I kind of went a bit deeper,
and it was like, let me create, you know, just
to be a sort of a wellness brand on my own,
but then extend it into having a community side of it,
where you know, I can use the lessons that I've

(56:19):
been learning and share them with others to hopefully inspire
them on their journey, but at the same time, just
create a safe space for those of us who feel
the same way, maybe live in this otherness or are
just growth minded in general to sort of have other
people that you can lean on, or just that remind
you that, like, you know, we're all on like this journey,
or remind you that you know, you're not crazy for

(56:40):
wanting more out of your life, or whatever it is.

Speaker 3 (56:41):
You know.

Speaker 4 (56:43):
Really, I was inspired by the book Thinking, Grow Rich,
where they talk about creating a mastermind, and I don't.
I don't know anybody for the most part personally in
my own inner circles as sort of growth minded or
relates in that way. So the just these social club
is also be finding that that community that I've been
starving for as well happening here. One more time, we'll
take a quick break and then we'll be right back.

(57:08):
All right, we are back, and now the rest of
my conversation with Antonio for the multi Racial Verse podcast.

Speaker 2 (57:14):
You have a pretty motivational TED talk too. What is
your TED talk about?

Speaker 4 (57:19):
Yeah, I did a talk where it's, uh, the idea
really of of of authenticity and the need for disruption
by being authentic, you know, like the idea that that
progress itself only comes from from people who are willing
to disrupt what is the norm, you know, and that

(57:42):
the only way we're going to see change and create.
All that we're looking for is if we sort of
stop looking or stop waiting for someone else to do it,
and we sort of allow ourselves to become that driving
force in our own way. And I think, uh, you know,
we're all sort of searching for uh you know, a
better world. Uh, you know, one where we can feel

(58:04):
more comfortable where we're you know, our community is being
held in the regard that it deserves. And it starts
with all of us sort of being unafraid to use
our voices and to you know, stand tall and loud
and and be unapologetically who we are at the end
of the day, you know. And and I think the
tagline from it that that continues to kind of I

(58:27):
guess anybody has watched it, uh and and kind of
knows a bit about that talk is when I said
authenticity is your superpower. And and that's sort of I
think probably the best way I could summarize that talk
and what it was was all about. You know, it's
it's really uh me sharing my own story of of
how I when I embraced who I really was, I
found all the success of urban searching for you know,

(58:48):
So let that be a you know, an inspiration and
motivation and a lesson for for anybody out there that
you know, all that they're they're searching for in this
life is is uh, you know, going to be the
result of of how authentically they show up.

Speaker 2 (59:02):
That's I love it. I love the the thesis of authenticity.
And I still see so many people, you know, not
being authentic and it's tough, man, It's like, it's it's
really really really tough. You know, what do you what
do you feel like the evolving narrative of Latin X

(59:27):
or multicultural LATINX. What do you what do you think
that's going to look like in the coming years, and
how do you hope to shape it?

Speaker 4 (59:33):
I think it's like a it's kind of like a
two headed monster, right because it's like similar we were
talking about before, where it's there's a lot of internalized
racism from previous generations and things like that. So I
think what's beautiful about conversations like this one, platforms like
this one, and kind of the greater dialogue that's happening
even just within our own community, is there is this

(59:55):
focus on diverse voices within the community, understanding that not
one person speaks for all of us understanding that certain people,
like after Latinos were left out of the conversation and
I haven't had the representation, the voice that they deserve,
you know. So I think us as a community, as
a culture, coming to terms with a bit of those
harder conversations is a beautiful thing. And then I think,

(01:00:18):
on the grander sort of scale of it all, I think,
you know, we're we're starting to see I think I
don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:00:26):
If it's number two or number one.

Speaker 4 (01:00:29):
I can't remember what the statistic was, but it was
something like, I mean, Spanish music, Spanish language music is
like the fastest growing genre of music out there right now,
according to like Spotify. It's like that, you know, I
don't even remember if it was the most stream genre
of music, but there was some sort of stat that
came out.

Speaker 3 (01:00:46):
But I love musing that as.

Speaker 4 (01:00:48):
Sort of a a litmus test for the world that
we live in, because I think, you know, those sort
of numbers are are not just a reflection of like
Latin people listening, but it's it's everybody listening to it,
right Like that Bunny isn't as big of an artist
as he is just because he has a large Latin
fan basis because he has fans that don't even speak
Spanish to just love the music, right, And I think

(01:01:10):
that openness to experiencing and embracing something that is not
necessarily your culture, but still being able to see the
value and appreciate the value in it, I think is
a beautiful sort of testament to.

Speaker 3 (01:01:26):
The ever changing world that we're in right now.

Speaker 4 (01:01:28):
And as for as much negativity as there is and
as much work as there is to be done, I
think someone like him transcending into this megastar that he
is while still doing just music and Spanish, I think
Showcase is sort of, you know, our potential to be
existing on that mainstream level, even staying honest and true
in our own language if you felt like doing so,

(01:01:50):
you know. I think it's an idea of like, we
don't have to change who we are to find success,
right and seeing somebody do it on that grand of
a level, I think to me is a great sort
of simpation of the potential of us really being a
part of these conversations and not just being a part
of them, but doing so authentically, and then also doing
so from a position of power as well. Right, because

(01:02:13):
we are proving the sort of not only just value,
but I think our ability to participate at this sort
of high level, and I think the willingness of other
people to embrace it as well, if that makes sense.

Speaker 2 (01:02:27):
So an excellent example to thank you for sharing that,
what are what are some resources that you're using now, books, podcasts,
you know, shows or other things that you're utilizing besides
maybe therapy or or other things too, to go deeper

(01:02:47):
within yourself. And with that, I think the question would
be you you you mentioned the idea of oh I
just mentioned about not speaking the language, and I could
feel a little bit of shame rising up, Like what
would you say to somebody who just doesn't even go

(01:03:08):
for it just because of that feeling comes up?

Speaker 3 (01:03:12):
Well, I think to answer that question first, I think.

Speaker 4 (01:03:17):
You know, you're you're only you know, short changing yourself
at the end of the day, you know, And I
think it's like, as with anything else, it doesn't have
to be you know, culture or language or whatever it is.
It's like usually the things that feel the most uncomfortable
are going to be the things that have the greatest
impact on your life.

Speaker 3 (01:03:33):
Right, So you know, even for me, like I just
came back from Puerto Rico.

Speaker 4 (01:03:37):
I go a few times a year now, and when
I'm there, always challenge myself to try and primarily just
to get Spanish, you know. And there are times where
I might embarrass myself where I can't answer a specific thing,
you know, the way I want to, or like it
comes out broken, whatever it is.

Speaker 3 (01:03:50):
But like, I just.

Speaker 4 (01:03:52):
Keep challenging myself to do it, and I'm getting better
in my vocabulary and my capability of holding a conversation
and I feel good, Like I feel more confident in
myself as a result of that, you know. But it's
me being willing to be embarrassed in a public setting
or whatever with a stranger and pushing past that fear
and that discomfort, and I think it brings a greater

(01:04:12):
sense of sort of self pride for myself, you know,
to keep pushing myself to just improve upon things that
are important to me and knowing that if I fall
short of it in that moment doesn't mean I'm lesser then, right,
But I'm just learning.

Speaker 3 (01:04:24):
I'm trying to grow. Yeah, And I think that there's
a beauty in that.

Speaker 4 (01:04:27):
I think that bleeds into other aspects of your life
when you can push past those fears and it becomes
the idea of like you finding comfort in that discomfort almost,
which I think is incredibly powerful, you know, resources go,
it's kind of a twofold thing. I love the idea
of bringing things that aren't traditionally from our community to

(01:04:48):
our community. So I am I am a big like
self help junkie, you know. And primarily those like books
or podcasts or whatever are not you know, are not
hosted or written by people who come from our background.

Speaker 3 (01:05:02):
But there's still is valuable information in that, you know.

Speaker 4 (01:05:05):
So I still ingest a lot of that stuff, and
like the you know, the try to read, like the
classics that everybody talks about like if they can and
grow rich and uh, you know, how to what is it?
Wind friends and influence people, like all those classic books
that everybodlways talks about that probably where that we weren't
shared in our community. But like you know, the greatest
the entrepreneurs or people who found great wealth all read

(01:05:26):
those books for a particular reason, right, So I understand
the importance of that and then sort of bringing back
that information to the community. And then on the other
side of it, also challenging myself to dig deeper into
my cultural.

Speaker 3 (01:05:39):
Background and things like that, you know.

Speaker 4 (01:05:40):
So like I have a book of like you know,
short stories and poetry only written by Puerto Rican you
know authors, you know, so I read that stuff, and
you know that that allows me to have a deeper
cultural tie. Or I have a book that is like
a really extended history of Puerto Rico that I challenge myself,
like really you and study up on, you know, just

(01:06:01):
so I can have a deeper tie and a sort
of a more kind of educational or a more intellectual
sort of perspective of my community and my culture have
real ties to it in real way, because you know,
so that I can continue to add value when I
have these conversations, you know, about what's going on in
the world or whatever it might be. So yeah, I

(01:06:23):
think it's it's it's it's a combination of ingratiating myself
and the culture and the community as much and then
also trying to be open minded to learn from things
that aren't necessarily norms in our community, like mental health
or whatever it might be. With the knowledge that me
having that understanding is then now I have I can
sort of digest it and regurgitate it in a way

(01:06:44):
that is going to be you know, impactful for my
community as well.

Speaker 2 (01:06:48):
Yeah. And it's interesting because you as you were mentioning
these things, one of the things that came up is
it's a little bit of a different goal or intension
when we're trying to find this other part of our
culture or our race or other things. I don't I
don't know it at least in my experience. It's not
like I, you know, put something up on my vision

(01:07:10):
board or wherever and say, hey, I'm going to be
the most Mexican person I can be.

Speaker 4 (01:07:14):
You know.

Speaker 2 (01:07:14):
It's not like those are the goals. It's it's interesting
how it's it's a fluid, spiritual energy thing where we
just are feeling pulled towards something.

Speaker 1 (01:07:26):
You know.

Speaker 3 (01:07:27):
Yeah, Yeah, I think that, you know, there that's sort
of the the beauty of it.

Speaker 4 (01:07:32):
I think that's that's where like the fulfillment comes from,
you know. I think that that's why we've gone on
this journey. I think because we knew something was missing,
there was something lacking, you know. And I think there
is this natural, spiritual, otherworldly draw to your ancestry, you know.
And I think there's something incredibly powerful of being able

(01:07:53):
to to know that you're a part of this sort
of long lineage and also be able to trace it back.

Speaker 3 (01:07:57):
And I think that there there's something that's very you know.

Speaker 4 (01:08:02):
Sort of very just good for the soul when you
have a sense of pride about where you come from
and and and sort of are feeling connected to maybe
people that you don't even know, right when you go
to Mexico or you go to Puerto Rico, or you
go wherever.

Speaker 3 (01:08:17):
Your family's from.

Speaker 4 (01:08:17):
Like I know, when I step off the plane in
Puerto Rico and I start hearing people speak Spanish, you know,
it makes me feel warm inside. I feel connected in
some sort of way, right, And I think there's there's
such a beauty to that.

Speaker 2 (01:08:30):
Yeah, it's a wholeness. And and you know, I live
in Portland, which is a very very non biplock area,
And when I flew in New York this last time,
then it was it was awesome. My heart was so
full just getting off seeing all the beautiful people, the diversity.

Speaker 1 (01:08:45):
You know.

Speaker 2 (01:08:45):
The one last question I ask everybody is what is
your vision of world? Piece? How do we get there?

Speaker 3 (01:08:49):
Yeah? I think I revert back to music.

Speaker 4 (01:08:52):
You know, I think I think in music the same
way we can be open to each other. There's different perspective,
right or different you know, culture or language or whatever
it might be. Like think, I think that it's a
lot more simple than we think that it is. You know,
I think it really just comes with empathy. It comes

(01:09:14):
with openness. It comes from, you know, recognizing that everybody
has some sort of value to bring and that there's
something beautiful about everybody's culture and.

Speaker 3 (01:09:25):
Where they come from.

Speaker 4 (01:09:26):
And I think if we were far more open to
sort of celebrating the fact that we're different, rather than
viewing difference as a negative thing, the world would be
in a far better place, you know. And I think again,
I think I think authenticity is a huge part of that.
People sort of being unafraid to be themselves would lead
to a lot happier people out there. And then on

(01:09:48):
the flip side of that, I think empathy where we
recognize that people are all going through their own things,
their own trials and tribulations, and rather and than judging
people from a surface level, more so trying to think
of them as a human being and what what could
be the reason why they're acting a certain way or

(01:10:08):
why they're doing a certain thing right.

Speaker 3 (01:10:11):
I think a bit more.

Speaker 4 (01:10:12):
Of that would would definitely help us have a little
bit more peace in this world. So I think authenticity
and empathy, pria Is and Moost key key components of
that recipe of piece.

Speaker 2 (01:10:21):
I think excellent, beautifully spoken, Thank you so much, thank
you so much for your time, Thank you so much
for Life as a Gringo podcast. I left because my
dad's my late dad's favorite word we growing up in
Wyoming was he used to call everybody dringo, So I
think there's also that that that that connection to it.
But thank you for the Just Be social club too,

(01:10:44):
and I recommend that everyone checks them out. Check out
Dramos's Ted Talk and where can people find you? And
what else would you like people to know? And I'm
going to share the links and things on the website too,
So sure.

Speaker 4 (01:11:00):
Yeah, I mean, well, first of all, thank you for
having me and thank you for your questions. But at
DJ Dramas is pretty much were can find me on everything.
I think, Yeah, the podcast Life is a Gringo where
we're going to season three, which is crazy and Just
Be we're just you know, trying to really build it out.
There's a focus on it this year, really growing the
but Just Be Social Club into really being beyond just

(01:11:23):
us meeting up, but really a thriving community of people
that can come together and share on a consistent basis
and you know, find a home and find inspiration to
push past whatever has been holding them back.

Speaker 3 (01:11:35):
You know.

Speaker 4 (01:11:35):
So just for me, those are the two things I'd
really really push at the end of the day, I think,
and and you know, all my socials and all that stuff,
He'll be befined all the other stuff that I'm doing
and getting out there.

Speaker 2 (01:11:47):
Excellent. Thank you so much, Traumas, have an awesome day.
Youtobe eer, thank you for joining us for the multi
racial verse part. My name is Antonio Fernandez, so I hope.

Speaker 3 (01:12:02):
You guys enjoyed that.

Speaker 4 (01:12:04):
Big shout out again to Antonio for really just putting
him stuff out there, doing the work and just going
for it.

Speaker 3 (01:12:10):
Man.

Speaker 4 (01:12:10):
I'm really proud of him and all he's done and
how far he's coming and basically just like a year
of us knowing each other. So I'm really proud of that,
really proud of that Just Be Social Club cohort that
we had for the last year.

Speaker 3 (01:12:24):
Keep an eye. I'm doing more stuff with it.

Speaker 4 (01:12:25):
Honestly, I know I've been talking about it forever, and
those of you who had joined the Patreon the private one,
I've been slacking a little bit. I had some stuff
up on there, I got more stuff in the works.
I just got to put it together. But yeah, just
really proud to see, you know, somebody who is a
part of that now going on to do a lot
of the things that they want to do.

Speaker 3 (01:12:42):
So really proud of him. Go check out the podcast.

Speaker 4 (01:12:44):
A bunch more episodes for you to check out, really
interesting conversations. It's available wherever you find podcasts. And now,
with that said, let's tie everything we talked about today
in an eat little Boat in a segment called conclusion,
STU time for come.

Speaker 3 (01:13:02):
Man.

Speaker 4 (01:13:03):
So so once again, I think I'm just super proud
of the fact that, in a small, small way, I
could be a part of Antonio's story and him, you know,
really going out there and finding the confidence to create
what he was looking to see, right, That's I think
the main concept I want you to take away from this.
You know, Antonio was searching for a podcast like the

(01:13:28):
one that he started, and he couldn't find it and
rather than complain or you know, sit around and wait
for somebody else to do it, he did it himself, right,
I always say, if you don't see it created, And
it's been something you know, from what him and I
have talked about that has really you know, helped energize
him and added you know, some extra purpose to his life.
And I think that's such a beautiful win, a beautiful

(01:13:49):
thing to be able to have and to you know,
just man snap us out of the mundane nous or
you know, the difficulties that everyday life does provide and
have something we're incredibly passionate about, you know, outside of
our everyday life that we can can work on and
put our energy and time and passion and love and
too so big shot to him. Just honored again to

(01:14:13):
be a part of that. And I love that we
can kick off Hispanic heritage a month by showcasing somebody
from our community who is doing amazing things. And when
I say our community, I mean this is a product
of the life. Is a good NGO community to just
be community, This is you know, a beautiful thing to
kind of see, you know, the power of us just
having these conversations and participating and interacting with one another

(01:14:35):
and you know, being able to be inspired.

Speaker 3 (01:14:38):
By each other, which I think is just such a
beautiful thing.

Speaker 4 (01:14:40):
So big shot to Antonio once again the multi Racial
Verse podcast. You can actually go and follow him on
Instagram at multi Racial Verse. And of course, like I said,
the podcast is available everywhere you find podcast So go
show him some love, go show some support, give him
a nice rating where you listen to podcasts as well

(01:15:01):
if you can. All that stuff always helps out goelfe
do the same for my podcast as well. Life is
the Good if you Heaven Yet. With that said, thank
y'all so much for tuning in Happy Hispanic Heritage a month.
I'll catch you on Thursday for our Thursday trends to then,
stay safe and we'll talk soon. Es. Life as a
Good Ego is a production of the micro througha podcast

(01:15:23):
network and iHeartRadio