July 27, 2021 • 48 mins
Dramos tackles the topic of mental health in the Latinx community: the stigmas and the PTSD that are far too common in in our community. From his own personal battles with depression and anxiety, to statistics from experts, this episode aims to help continue to destigmatize the topic of mental health in the Latinx community.
Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Let me let me talk about talk. Here we go.
He said he lived in life as a gringo, where
you question when you fit in every time you mingo
they say you do. This would not reperence, really, mad man,
Welcome to another episode of Life as a Gringo with
myself dramas. If you're new here, you're proceding. They're wondering, like, gringo,
(00:29):
what the hell does this mean? I mean he's Latin,
so what's the same gringo? I know there's like a
whole lot of different connotations to it. Um, so quick
short kind of tagline to it. If this is your
first time, check it out, um man, this show just
kind of represents, you know, those of us who grew
up in this kind of gray area. You know, we're
probably American born or I've lived in you know, the
States for the majority of our lives. Maybe a Spanish
(00:52):
trash like mine. I promised. I'm working on a Mama listening, um,
but you know, you live in this, in this gray area.
We don't quite fit in anywhere, you know. I can
remember going back home to Puerto Rico with my cousins
and they would call me a gringo. They would tell me,
I was too light, and you know, but I'm back
home with my with my friends. You know, i'd be
clowned because my house smelled a little bit different, you
(01:14):
know what I mean. We listen to different music in
the car, so you kinda grow up man, never really
knowing where you fit in and having this sort of
identity crisis. So, uh, this is kind of me taken
back the word gringo uh and using it for for
a positive kind of connotation. I guess if you will, um. So,
I mean, yeah, with the show, we're gonna just be
tackling a lot of different topics that affect our community. Uh,
(01:37):
and that I feel like maybe aren't spoken about enough
or in in enough detail. And I think this topic
today Today's show. I'm very excited about it because it's
something I'm extremely passionate about. And while it's been getting
a lot of attention, um, it's still something I feel
like it's not completely embraced or talked about, specifically in
(01:57):
the Latin community. And that is of course mental health.
I mean, I'm somebody who has you know, struggle with
and and and gone through bouts of depression and anxiety.
For man, as long as I can remember, um, you know,
I've gone to therapy on and off for man close
to ten years at this point, you know, so this
(02:18):
is definitely something that has been a large part of
my life, and it's something that I've you know, not
always been comfortable talking about. And I realized there's probably
so many other people out there who have a shared
experience with that, uh and maybe even just needs some
encouragement to to be comfortable speaking about it and getting
the health that they deserve and that they need, quite frankly,
(02:39):
So that's what we're gonna be talking about today. Um,
I got a bunch of different questions that I also
got from my Instagram. I put it out there. Uh,
you know, anybody that has specific questions and on the
topic of mental health. I'll be answered to a bunch
of those little bit later on in the show. Before
we get into that, though, let's let's start off maybe
dropping some some knowledge here. Uh. In a little segment
(03:01):
we call for the people in the back at the
people in the back say a lot of the people
in the the people in the sat alright, So if
you're new, here was again this segment. You know, we're
(03:22):
just gonna be uh kind of giving you some cold
heart facts. I'll interject some my own personal experiences, and
we're really just kind of dive into like the meat
and potatoes of this of this topic. Um. Of course,
again mental health being the one that we're talking about
this week. Now, what's interesting to me when it comes
to the discussion of mental health is you still have
(03:43):
people out there who like to think that it's like this,
you know, trendy thing, that that's why people are talking
about it. You know. I remember a pretty recently looking
on my Instagram feed and and seeing some dude make
a post, and it was like, uh oh, all of
a sudden, now everybody suffers depression because it's a trending
thing on social media. And it's like, nah, dick. People
(04:05):
are talking about depression now because it's a trendy topic
on social media. It's because there's less and less of
a stigma about it. And and the reality is, I
think people are starting to recognize they're not really alone
when it comes to things like depression or anxiety. I mean,
so many people suffer from it. So many people stuffer
from it. They don't even know what they're suffering from it. Um,
(04:25):
And we are getting to a place, as a as
a culture, as people where the conversations are beginning to
be had a lot more. I mean, you know, you
gotta give a big shout out to people who are
any public eye that are unafraid to talk about this.
I know I can remember for me, you know, when
I came to terms with the idea that just something
(04:48):
wasn't right. I didn't have a word for it. I
didn't call it depression. I didn't call it anxiety or
any of those things. Um, I just knew something something
wasn't right. And this was this is my early twenties, Um,
you know, so at that time, man, nobody was talking
about it. You know, Um, it kind of seemed like
therapy and all those things were something that you know,
(05:10):
was you know, for rich white people. That's really only
people I saw, you know, you saw people on TV.
It was like white people getting therapy and things of
that nature. So it didn't seem like something, um that
anybody that looked like me or had my upbringing, you know, did.
But I just knew that something wasn't right. Um. I
think I gotten out of a relationship at that time,
and um, I just I just I just you know,
(05:34):
kind of came to terms of the fact that the
way I was processing certain emotions, of the way that
I was maybe not processing it, it wasn't healthy and
it was becoming a pattern in my life. And UM,
at that time, I was broke. I was under my
mom's insurance, so I had to go to my parents,
specifically my mom. I was scared to go to my dad. UM.
I had to specifically go to my mom to to
(05:56):
ask her, um, you know, to allow me to use
her insurance and to get her insurance information so that
I could, uh, you know, look into getting a therapist.
And let me tell you now, it's like would never
be a big deal. But I remember back then like nerves,
my heart pounding. I remember put it off for days
to having that conversation, uh, you know, of of talking
to her and telling her that this was something I
(06:18):
was planning on doing, that I wanted to do. UM.
And then you know, those fears being just like reaffirmed
when I did tell her what I want, Like I remember,
you know, I waited till my dad was upstairs and
I called my mom to come downstairs into the kitchen,
and UM, and you know, me nervous is all hell
voice shaky, you know what I'm saying, like, and it's crazy.
(06:41):
I laughed thinking about it right now because it just
seems so wild that I was so nervous about having
this conversation. But I also think it's important to point
that out because there's probably so many people who still
made me feel that way. But I can remember UM
telling her and just be like, hey, you know, I
want to go see it there because I want to
work out some things that I feel like I'm not
(07:03):
you know, processing in a healthy way, and some emotions
and feelings that I can't really make sense of. Um.
And I don't know if I said it that eloquently,
but you know, paraphrasing here of course, but I remember
her response. It was just like okay, Like there was
like like no, she didn't know what the hell to
(07:24):
say that was I it was either like one of
two things, like it was either a oh, maybe my
son is like batshit crazy or be which I think
it was probably this one was like I think he's
being a little dramatic, but I'm going to play along
with it. And that's and that is like the craziest
(07:47):
thing to me, the fact that I was saying, man,
I kind of need help with emotions and depression and anxiety.
And the person on the other side of you telling
that your your parents is giving you the notion that
you know, you might just be dramatic and you're you're
making things to be a bigger deal. And I think,
I'm sure I'm not the only one who's gone through
(08:07):
something like that, um. And not to make it like
it's like this big traumatic thing, but in a moment
where you're nervous and in a moment where you feel alone,
to have somebody now sort of reaffirm your fears and
and make you feel even more alone is I don't know, man,
In that moment, I remember just being a really deflating thing, um,
(08:30):
to the point where I think I almost was like,
maybe I'm maybe I am being dramatic, Maybe I am
kind of making this a bigger deal on this is
just a part of life. And you know, thankfully, to
my credit, um, you know, I stuck it out and
and when and and got the help and realized just
how normal it was, and realized that you know, these
were real feelings and that I was actually in the
(08:51):
right when it came to wanting to find healthy ways
you know, and um, you know, it wasn't until years
later of having different open conversations with my parents and
things like that, UM, that my mom admitted to me
that she has anxiety, you know. And the funny thing
is she was asking me what does anxiety feel like?
And when I was describing it, she was reaffirming that
that's something she went through. So the irony is, I say,
(09:14):
all that's not place blame on our parents if you
have had a shared experience like mine. I say all that,
because the reality is, they weren't, you know, given these tools.
They didn't grow up with parents that were equipped to um,
decipher these different things. You know, these conversations weren't being
had when they grew up, so they don't know, you know,
(09:35):
how to talk about these things or the proper routes
to go or or any of the stuff, how to
handle these situations, you know. So, UM, it's normal maybe
for our generation, or it's becoming normal, should say, to
be open and there's different resources for us to hear
these conversations and uh and learn a little bit about it.
But the reality is our parents they did the best
of what they had, and these weren't conversations that were
(09:57):
you know, we're we're happening, um. And I do want
to to also aside from my own personal experience and uh,
you know, and and what I will say also is
that therapy helped me out, has helped me out greatly.
It's something that I periodically do on and off. Um.
Getting ready to look for a new therapist right now,
but it's definitely something that's greatly helped me. So anybody
(10:18):
that maybe he's on the fence right now listening to this,
I would highly suggest it, um. And you know, even
if you have people in your life that are still
think it's weird or it's crazy, just you need to
push forward, you know, uh and get the help that
you seek. And I do want to kind of get
into some some numbers as well, because I think when
you start seeing statistics and you start seeing the factual
(10:39):
things around it, hopefully at least for myself personally, brings
some comfort to it. And also my whole goal with
having a platform of any sort is to elevate my
people and to to bring awareness and to just help
us progress to be better in every single way. And
you know, we can't progress as a culture as a
people and do great things, man, if our mental health
(11:02):
isn't under control, and it's obvious that this is a
glaring issue in the Latin community, you know, black and
brown community as a whole, but specifically to this conversation,
the Latin community, I mean, UM, I pulled up a
really interesting read from Cardinal Innovations Healthcare and they had
some really great statistics that talked about mental health in
the Latin community. So one of the things they said
(11:23):
was that only thirty three of Latinos with the mental
illness received treatment each year compared to the average in
the US, So we're below average when it comes to
receiving treatment for our mental health. And another kind of
a few more statistics should say that I found to
be super interesting were, uh, Latinos who experienced symptoms of
(11:45):
a mental health disorder only talked to a doctor about
their symptoms, only ten percent contact a mental health professional,
and nineteen percent had no form of healthcare. And this
is according to report um. You know, so there's so
many things I want to unpack when it when it
comes to that, but just seeing those statistics, man, it's
(12:08):
it's scary to think how many of us are going
out there living our everyday lives, raising children and and
just trying to better ourselves. And we're dealing with something
that we can't quite put our finger on, um where
we have these you know, there's no way to describe it.
It's like this demon on our back that we can't
(12:29):
seem to shed. And it's because we're not taking the
time two you know, uh, to get the help for
it and to address it. And I mean listen, I
listened to a few different things, and there's so many
different reasons why, specifically in our culture, you know, uh,
that people aren't getting the help that they quite frankly
need and deserve. I mean, let's let's talk just a
(12:51):
few things. When it comes to expectations. You know, when
it comes to gender roles. You know, in the Latin
culture is always this machismo culture than and it's supposed
to be tough. You know. Men are expected to be strong, um,
you know, and to be providers and and all these
different things. Uh. And women uh in our culture are
expected to take care of the family before themselves. So
(13:14):
you put those two things together, it's like, yeah, I
mean we're raised on that culture. Of course, we're not
looking at mental health, of course, we're not wanting to
admit that something is wrong, as men were feeling that
that's going to make us look weak. And as women, uh,
you know you feel you know, women might feel guilty
taking care of herself, you know, before the family, so
(13:37):
to speak, you know, in taking that time for herself,
and both of those things are detrimental to the progression
of our people. All right, I got a lot more
that I want to get into when it comes to this,
but um, let's do a quick break and we'll be
right back. All right, we are back. And this article
that I'm reading, they they say being diagnosed with a
mental illness may cause shame. Also, discussing personal or family
(14:00):
matters with outsiders is not common and sometimes even discouraged
within the Latin culture. So there's all of these different
things that you talked about, I mean, uh, and specifically
that when it breaks it down to two things which
I found to be super interesting. So it talks about first, um,
the idea of of shame, right and this this is
interesting to me because as I was kind of you know,
(14:22):
taking some mental notes of what I wanted to talk
about on on today's show, Um, it brought back certain
memories and there's this idea, especially those of us here
in the States and those of us who, um, to
my experience, got out of an area like where my
family is from the Bronx and moved over to the suburbs.
Well in suburbs, you know, we were the only Latin
(14:43):
family on the block for the majority of of my upbringing,
you know, at this when I was young. You know.
So while I've never had this complete conversation with my parents,
you know, prior to this whole podcast and everything, you know,
it's it's easy to recognize the fact that they felt
a certain pressure to almost be perfect, you know what
(15:03):
I mean, because they're feeling like their neighbors are looking
at them as if they don't belong here, and if
they show any sort of weakness or show any sort
of sign of being lesser than it sort of just
proves that point, you know. And um, while that is
kind of maybe a made up thing, maybe not, you know,
and and to be honest, actually probably isn't because there
are certain experiences I've had, I mean, not to get
(15:25):
off topic, I could do a whole podcast on you know,
racial interactions and things like that, and I'm sure I
will down the line, but I can't even remember. You know,
there was like this parking feud I had with a
white neighbor about parking my car on a certain part
of the street and her she came at me like,
when you guys have all these people living in your
house and not to even validate this argument, but that that.
(15:48):
But we had myself, my sister, and my parents living
in the house. But it was like this notion. It
was this um you know, her her racism showing obviously,
and it was this uh, this stereotype that she had
that she wanted us to live up to. So I
can only imagine, you know, people like my parents, first generation,
to get out of the hood and to get out
of the inner city and to not be in an
(16:09):
area where they're surrounded by um people who share their
similar upbring they felt the pressure to have some level
of perfection, you know, and and not show weakness in
those things. And um, I can't blame them for that.
But the downside to it is not addressing issues as well,
because you're kind of trying to sweep things under the rug. Um.
(16:29):
And the the other thing is this idea of not
discussing family matters outsiders and I think that also lends
itself into the same kind of thing. You know, once
you start discussing your weaknesses with others. Outside of that,
you know, people are able to look down on you,
you know, or at least you feel like they have
the upper hand of looking down on you. Um And
(16:50):
And again, I think that leads into this idea of
having to feel like you're you're perfect you know. Um
and and there's also this idea. It also talks about
the I do that. Latinos also prefer to seek help
from other sources like prayer, you know, the church and listen,
I'm not here to knock the church to not God
or any of these things, but let's let's be real.
(17:13):
You can't pray everything away. Let's be let's be all
the way real here, like you know some things man,
like you know, I'm sorry, but God would like you
to go address certain things, like I can remember so
many instances of like man, uh my mom would kill me,
or talks but like weird, you know, shaman people who
(17:35):
claim to be like touched by God and can like
predict things and put these blessing over you different periods
by life, them coming in just ridiculous things like that,
like I'm sorry with some ship like you know, you
gotta get a real professional. And that that's this old
school mindset we have in our community of spirituality and
the church and all these different things. Um, that's just
(17:57):
not fitting for us when it comes to living in
the the real world, you know. Um. And not to
talk down the church or these things once again, but guys,
they're not doctors, you know. And and um, this idea
that you can pray away feelings like depression or anxiety
or suicidal thoughts. Um, going along with that is is
(18:19):
a complete disservice two. You know, the person going through
those those emotions, you know. Um. And there there's also
the conversation outside of our own personal feelings, you know,
or our own cultural upbring But it's the reality that
(18:41):
a lot of people in our community don't have access
to health care, and if they do, it's not great.
I mean, according to this article, I mean, it talks
about that minorities and multicultural communities tend to receive a
lower quality of healthcare. And now I talk about how
I went to go see a therapist if I wasn't
under my mom's insurance, if I wasn't covered under her insurance,
(19:03):
and she had a great insurance at the time, being
a teacher, I would have never been able to go
see a therapist. Like when I tell you, at that
time my life, I was broke, broke, like I had
to borrow the thirty dollars a week for the um
deductive or the copey from my mom every week when
I went to go see a therapist. Like that's how
broke was. Imagine if I had to pay that almost
what two bill a session, I would have never gotten
(19:24):
that help. I would have never been able to do that.
And and that's a huge part of the problem as
well when it comes to two people in our community.
And and you know, when you're talking about inner city
communities or impoverished communities or under privilege or underserved us
to say communities, you know, these are a lot of
people who, unfortunately are are really having to prioritize what
(19:47):
they do with their money because it's either feeding the
family and paying the rent or making the decision for
something like therapy. Of course, therapy is gonna fall, uh
you know, kind of on the lower side of that
spectrum when it comes to just importance, right, I mean
so there's so many different barriers that that hurt us.
And you know what I would say to that is,
(20:09):
you know, we have to make these things a priority.
You know, are our livelihood depends on it. You know,
um our ability to be positive influences for our next
generations depends on it. You know, we've survived so much
UM and and to allow ourselves to not fully evolve
and and to fully kind of become who we you know,
(20:33):
can be and who we strive to be just because
we're not paying attention to ourselves is absolutely terrible, you know. UM.
One other thing that I found to be super interesting
that they pointed out was also the immigration experience, you know,
something that is so pertinent to to so many people
UM in the Latin community. And it says that Althenos
(20:54):
and other immigrant communities who encounter these challenges often are
at greater risk of PTSD, depression, suicide, and stress associated
with the fear of deportation. So think about that for
a little bit. You know, those who whose family has
immigrated here or if you personally have, like that's some
(21:14):
traumatic ship, like you went through leaving a crazy situation
to now struggling to come over here. And then you're
coming here with absolutely nothing and you're trying to make
it work and trying to build a life for you
and your family under dire circumstances. And then you're living
with the constant everyday stress of possible deportation, of that
(21:37):
that knock at the door possibly being the one that
sends you back to living in poverty. That's some some
real life stressful type of ships. And I'm sorry, but
like we're all human, we're all going to succumb to that.
And and that's why you see certain things like alcoholism
being rampant and so many communities, you know, or or
(21:59):
drug use and things like that. It's because people are
trying to find a way to deal with that stress
in a in a healthy manner. And you got to
talk about that stuff like there's there's no other way
to it. You have to let go of that stuff.
We're all internalizing and burying so much ship and it
(22:19):
really is just doing such a disservice to us and
doing so much harm to us. And it absolutely you know,
um breaks my heart to to even think about how
many issues are going unaddressed or how many family dynamics
are um Man just in in terrible places because there
(22:43):
is so much rampant mental health issues just going unaddressed.
And and it's sad to think that people struggled to
come here, build a life for their family, have a
have a better situation, and they do all the work,
you know, the kids are now going to college, all
that stuff, but they never can find true peace and
(23:06):
happiness because they haven't addressed the mental health issues that
they're they're you know, going through and that are a
result of the life, um that they lived, you know.
So to me, it's it's it's all for not. I
don't care if I have all the money in the world,
if I'm you know, driving the nicest car, all that
kind of ship. Like, if I don't have my mental
in order, man, I have nothing, you know what I'm saying.
(23:28):
Like you can wake up in a mansion depressed, unhappy,
you know what I'm saying. Like, that's the wild part
about this, and that actually leads into, uh, this this
next section of the show, UM called me hn there
and the person that was, you know, the the inspiration
for for doing this topic, UM and this episode. Before
we get into that, though, we're gonna take a quick
(23:50):
break and we'll be right back. So if your first
time listener, this part of the show UM based that
either you know, put the spotlight on on somebody that
I think is doing great work on whatever particular topic
I'm covering, or I'll also have a different guest on
(24:11):
the on the show. UM. This week, I want to
spotlight the person that was a huge inspiration for me
wanting to take on this topic right now, and that
is Jay Balvin. So, Jay Balvin was super open about
his his struggle with depression and anxiety. He was actually
on Becky G's podcast in LaSala and he was just
(24:32):
talking you know, real ship, and I think that what's
interesting about about him as you look at somebody like
a Jay Balvin, This is what was my takeway when
I saw that, it was like, damn, you know, um,
this is important for for somebody like him to say this.
And the reason being, you look at somebody like a
Jay Balvin, who is you know, um rich, famous, incredibly successful,
(24:57):
incredibly talented, seemingly has everything that any one of us
could ever want in this life right from the outside
looking and of course, but here he is having all
of that yet having the same exact struggle that somebody
like myself or somebody like you has, you know, and
that's while it's it's terrible, you don't ever want to
(25:19):
wish that upon anybody, there is a level of comfort
that comes with that as well, because I think it's
easy for a lot of us to kind of misdiagnosed
these feelings as just saying, oh, well, it's because you know, um,
I've had a rough month financially, I've had a rough
month at work. You know, Um, it's because I'm I'm
still you know, striving for this particular goal that I
(25:39):
can't seem to get my my head around or get
any headway on. And you know, when you see cases
like this, you see people like this talking about it,
it's obviously no, that's not the case. Like depression, anxiety,
these are these are real things and while of course
you're outside environment um influences them and can bring them
out at different times. You know, the reality is, these
(26:00):
are things that need to be addressed for godless of
how amazing you're doing in life or how terrible you're
doing in life, these are just things that do not
go away and do not discriminate, you know. He He
says certain things that are just super powerful. Like you know, uh,
I was crying for no reason, you know, he says, Um,
you lose hope and you feel strange at every place
you go. You feel like you're outside your body, and
(26:23):
and it's it's it's crazy too again to hear somebody
like that man when you look at it, it's like, yo,
this guy has it all. He even goes on to
say that, you know, um, his depression got so bad
at one point he laid in bed for five days
and a quote waiting to die. Like it's you don't
expect to hear that from from somebody like this, And
(26:44):
I have to give him his flowers because that takes
a lot of balls, Like to be that guy in
this space, in this community that we know, um doesn't
speak about these kinds of things openly. To be somebody
at the forefront of that, you know, young and quote
unquote cool, you know, talking about this stuff and in
such a candle way is absolutely, um amazing. You know that.
(27:07):
That's really all I could say for it. You know, Um,
it's interesting. And he even says, you know, he couldn't understand,
you know, at the time why he was struggling with depression.
While his career was exploding. Right, So it's the same
kind of concept. But we all think, oh, you have
it all, you have it all, why are you upset
or there's no way this person could be struggling with anything,
and and you know, the reality is um again, this
(27:32):
doesn't discriminate. This sickness does not discriminate and going unchecked
with it. It doesn't matter how much material things you
have in this life, how many career opportunities you have,
if you do not take care of your mental health
and make it a priority, it is going to take
you out one way or another. You know, you cannot
(27:53):
outrun this forever. And it's important too to address it.
So so to that to Jay Balberford just being you know,
so and so candident and at the forefront of this man,
it's uh, it's it's absolutely just amazing to see somebody
like that be so candid. So once again, salute to me.
Hint the Jay Balvin. Now from Jay Balvin, do you guys,
let's let's answer some questions that I got. So I
(28:14):
want this this show to be super interactive, of course,
so I put out on my Instagram at DJ dramas
some questions throughout the week or just like an open
ended one any questions you have as it pertains to
this topic right here, happening to mental health. And I'll
do this every week, so if you want your voice heard,
I'll do it anonymously. Of course, we'll get into some
questions and let's do it now. It's called ask a
good ingle, all right. So the first question I want
(28:41):
to get to this week is actually a great starting
place when it comes to these uh So, the question
is how do you get to a space where you
allow yourself to be vulnerable enough to ask for help?
That's a great question, um, And I think one of
the biggest things that I've begun to realize, or not
just when it comes to asking for help, but just
in general when it comes to finding comfort in your
(29:03):
own skin, is you just have to realize, man, I'm
the one who has to wake up every day to
this life. Right Like of course, you know you want
your parents to be proud of you and those around
you to be in support of what you do. But
when it all comes down to when it's all said
and done, man, you're the one waking up every morning
(29:23):
with these thoughts and this life. You're the one going
to bed every night with these thoughts and this life.
So you have to begin to to make decisions that
you know put you personally in the in the best
position to lead a great life. And one of those
things is allowing yourself to be vulnerable enough to get
(29:45):
help when needed and to be at the end of
the day unapologetically yourself, because that's the only way you're
gonna find real happiness in general, is being unapologetically yourself.
And when you're unapologetically yourself, and we've seen this when
it comes to like, I'm one of my favorite people
in this world is Dennis Rodman because the dude is
so unapologetically himself and that's why he is such a legend.
(30:08):
You know, It's because he's unafraid to be Dennis Rodman.
That's why he's so cool. That's why we're so fascinated
by him. Right, So, if you look at that historically,
like the people that are winning in this life are
those who double down on themselves and and are unafraid
of other people's opinions. And I think, to me, that's
like a bigger analogy for how to find happiness in
(30:29):
this life is just really doubling down on who you are,
what makes you happy, what benefits you, and and you know,
what leads you to being the best version of yourself.
And vulnerability is a part of that, you know, being
unafraid to say, I don't have all the answers here,
you know, um, but I'm looking for the looking for
the answers. I'm unafraid to ask for help when it
comes to finding those answers, you know. And I think
(30:51):
that that's a part of it. So I know it's uncomfortable,
but I have to say from my own experiences, this
podcast in you know, as an example of that, Like
me having a platform has made me have to be
more vulnerable. And what has happened my career, um and
my life in general, you know, have blossomed as a
result of me being unafraid to express my thoughts, ideas
(31:14):
and feelings. You know. So that is something that you know,
you can apply to your life regardless of what you do.
And when it comes to mental health and therapy and
things like that, you know, you being vulnerable and you
pushing through that initial uncomfortable nous of sharing your thoughts
with a stranger, that's going to lead to you getting
the help that you need and finding healthy ways of
(31:37):
processing your emotions. So you know, you kind of just
have to push past it and know it's going to
feel uncomfortable. But the reality is, mant anything that's worth
doing is outside of your comfort zone. So the healing
that you seek, the the good you know life, where
you're in a great mental space and you're not struggling
with with these demons. You know that is all beyond
(31:59):
you know, your your comfort zone. You just have to
push yourself to to do it and understand that what
is your angle? I think that's the best way I
can kind of sum it up is always think of things,
what is my my angle? And if this case is,
you know your ang goal in this case is to
be mentally healthy and to be happy, then push yourself
through the bs of feeling uncomfortable and just know that
(32:20):
once you do so, you're putting yourself on a path
to to getting what you want. You're putting yourself on
a path to that angle. Now, this one is a
bit of a heavy question, but I think it's important
to tackle, especially building off of the last one of vulnerability.
It says, uh, is it normal to have suicidal thoughts
and question your own mortality. Now, this one's heavy and
(32:44):
it's not something people are super open to talking about,
myself included, But for the sake of of this and
putting myself out there, we talked about vulnerability. Personally. I
do think that it is normal. You know. Um, maybe
not everybody has those kind of thoughts, but I can
personally say that I have, you know, while I haven't
you know, been at a point where I've maybe um
(33:08):
had a suicide thought and it's pushed me to you know,
plan out, uh taking my own life or something like that. Um. Yeah,
I mean I've thought about what would it be like,
what would it be like if I wasn't wasn't here,
you know. Um. And you know, one thing that I
think I've always struggle with, and I've only said this
to to personally, you know, people in my in my
(33:29):
life and a therapist, but one thing I've always kind
of had on my mind is this idea of what
would my funeral look like? You know. And that's like
a super heavy and dark kind of thing. But I
say all this to hopefully help normalize certain things, you know,
and make you realize, like, listen, we all have dark
thoughts man like, and that's the point of going to
(33:50):
somebody who can help you process those things, you know,
because if you think about what I'm saying when it
comes to let's say, my funeral, that that's sort of
more so my own maybe insecurities of my own value,
of my own impact that I've had in this world
and not had, you know. I think the for me,
if I'm looking at it like that, it's like, Okay,
I'm wondering about my funeral because I'm wondering who will
(34:10):
be there, you know what people did I impact enough
that you know, feel like they need to make the
time to to go there, you know, And that's like
a level of insecurity that I'm I'm dealing with, you know. Um,
But yeah, I mean I would say, if you're feeling
those thoughts, are thinking those thoughts, um, don't sit there
and feel alone on an island. I think that you're
you know, crazy because you're you're thinking that a lot
(34:33):
of people, do, you know. I think at some point
in our lives we all probably have had some sort
of thought like that, what would be like if I
wasn't here or I don't want to be here? You know? Um,
what I would say is don't let it go unchecked.
You know, those are um cries for help. And I
don't mean that in like a way of weakness. I
just think that it's it means that you know, you're
really going through something, or you're really battling some sort
(34:54):
of inner feeling, some sort of inner demons, and you
need to talk to somebody about it. But yeah, I mean,
if you're feeling those thoughts, just no, you're not alone
in that um and and it doesn't mean that you're crazy.
It doesn't mean that, you know, you need to be
put in some room with padded walls somewhere. Um. You know,
it just means that you should address that with a
with a professional and dive into where those thoughts are
(35:17):
coming from, you know. And of course, you know, if
you're at the point where you're going to take action
on those thoughts, then then please, you know, make sure
you you immediately do something about it. Immediately call somebody,
Immediately phone somebody and talk to them about it. But
just understand it and recognize that that doesn't mean that
you are some crazy person out there like this is
(35:37):
something that is common for for a lot of people,
and I can speak to my own experiences. I've had
those thoughts before as well, and you know you're not
alone in that. And now the next one's interesting because
I've got through this personally, like pretty recently. Um, and
the question it's more of a statement, but it says
telling your parents about your traumas is traumatic because they
take it very personal. I think that's a great point.
(36:00):
I've had a lot of conversations with my parents recently
have things that I've been holding onto for years, And
that's a great point because I think, you know, hey,
let's let's talk your parents for a second. I think
your parents, you know, they take it personally because you know,
the reality is they sacrifice a lot, you know what
(36:21):
I mean, regardless of mistakes along the way, and and
they're only humans, so that that's gonna be you know,
kind of powerful the course. But your parents sacrifice a lot,
and they know damn well they sacrifice a lot. So
to hear you complain about something, you know, I guess
the initial knee jerk reaction is going to be like, yo, like,
you know how much I sacrificed for your ungrateful as
to be sitting in the position in right now? You know,
(36:44):
and I guess that's their initial thought, and I understand it,
and you know I would I would say, you know,
you can't take that personally. You know, at the end
of the day, I think it's commendable the fact that
you're even opening up to your parents and trying to
address these types of things. UM. But I think I
don't think that doing so is like where you should
(37:05):
be searching for that release or like that that feeling
of freedom from the from those emotions. You know. I
think it's good to face them, but if you're looking
for a certain response, I think you're kind of doing
it wrong. You know. The point of this is not
for them to give you the response that you want.
The point of this is for you to no longer
be holding onto it right now that if you're sitting
(37:26):
there trying to talk to them about the past traumas
that maybe they were a part of, or that they
caused or they turned a blind eye to. Um, the
reality is nothing that they say is going to maybe
make you feel better or take anything away from what happened.
You know, Uh, you're doing it. You have to be
doing it more so to just get that relief of
it being out there, you know, and being known to
(37:47):
them that this is what happened. And to me, the
the real healing comes from the reason why we're you know,
talking about seeing a therapist, because this is a professional
who can actually, um give you effective ways of dealing
with those traumas you know, and they we as people
can't control the way others respond to things, um and,
(38:08):
regardless of how much we want them to, you know,
validate our feelings and whatever the case may be, that's
just not a good, you know, method for for healing
and getting to a place of healing. You know, it
has to be something we internally um deal with and
that regardless of any outside factors, that we come to
a place of healing for ourselves, you know. And if
your parents, you know, after you're venting to them, are
(38:31):
receptive to it and understanding of it and maybe even apologetic, beautiful,
but that you can't go into with that being the goal,
because you're just setting yourself up for possible you know, disappointment,
because reality is, we can't control the way others interpret things,
um and and the way people want to or don't
want to sort of you know, let go of a
(38:51):
bit of their ego when it comes to admitting that
they've done something wrong. All right, let's see me at
Another one says, what does anxiety feel like you? Man um, anxiety,
It's hard to describe. It's just like for me, it's
just like this very sort of like ANTSI feeling like
this feeling of like, man, I gotta get out of here. Um.
(39:14):
There's almost kind of feeling a panic to a degree.
Maybe my my heart beats a little bit faster. Uh,
maybe I have like, you know, butterflies in my stomach,
my my palms might get a little bit sweaty or
something like that. Um, it is just kind of like
this this weird feeling of being like trapped almost, you know,
(39:34):
and and not you don't necessarily have to physically be
like enclosed into an area, just kind of feel like
you're you're trapped, you know, or you just kind of
feel super super uneasy, you know. And the weird thing
about it is sometimes it comes from absolutely nowhere. Like
there could be other times like maybe you're like I
don't know, startled or or something, and then it's like
(39:56):
now you're just too anxious to to you know, get
relax or something like that. Like if you're walking up
out of a sleep abruptly or something. Um that that
gives you the feeling of anxiety. Um, but it's also
just like, yeah, I think to me, the best way
to describe it is is this feeling of like of
like trapped, like I gotta get out of here, you know.
(40:17):
And um, that's the only way I could really kind
of describe it. And it's like, again, not I don't
want to say, not a logical feeling, but it's not
like a feeling like like if somebody, like you know,
locked me in a tiny room, then that's like logically, yeah,
I'm gonna feel trapped, But it could be anywhere. You
could be sitting at the park and all of a
sudden you just feel like super anxious, like man, I
(40:38):
just gotta get the hell out of here, and you
don't know why you're feeling that way. You know. That's
kind of what I would describe anxiety as. And it
doesn't really usually always have um like this rational sort
of like reasoning behind it, or it's not necessarily just
like a reaction to a very specific thing. Sometimes it
(40:58):
really just feels like this weird, abrupt emotion, you know. Um,
that's the best way I can describe it. I don't know.
I don't know if that was great, but that's kind
of how I feel it, all right. And this last one, um,
it actually leads us pretty well. I love a good
segway as a radio dude. Uh. It kind of leads
us perfectly into our conclusion. Stime. So, my first time
(41:26):
listeners this part of the show, as we close out,
you know, I put a nice little tie everything up
with a nice little bow, uh, that we we talked
about in today's episode. So the question that I thought
led to a great uh segue into conclusions to the
question was, um, what is the best way to cope
with mental health? And it's it's what I've been preaching
(41:47):
this entire episode. Man, It's it's getting professional help. And
I know that's like a very simple and easy, easy
kind of you know, way to put things and maybe um,
you know, making a little bit too easy, but that's
the truth. It's it's just like anything else, you know, uh,
in this life. It's like if you're a kid and
(42:08):
you have the you know, privilege of being able to
do so, Um, if your math is not good and
you can afford a tutor, you should get a tutor.
It's the same kind of thing. You know, these things
don't just go away, They don't magically disappear, as much
as we try to bury them. We need to get
the help. And like I talked about earlier, somebody like A. J.
Balvin proves it doesn't matter what status you are in
(42:32):
this life, your wealth, your success, your fame, cloud, whatever
the hell you wanna call it. Depression, anxiety, it does
not discriminate against any of those things. It can hit
any of us, and we all go through it. You're
not alone in this. So you know the idea of
feeling weird about it and all the bs that comes
(42:52):
along with being in the Latin community and all these
different you know, notions and kind of old school feelings
of things, and and you know how I talked about
earlier about our community feeling shame or feel like they
have to be perfect or not wanting to let strangers
in or whatever other nonsense and bullshit that we've been
taught growing up that does not serve us and are
(43:13):
things that we need to unlearned if we want to
progress as a people. You know, all of that stuff
is nonsense, And the reality is when you have an
issue when you want to get better at something, it's
always best to seek the help of a professional. And
that's all you're doing when you're going to see a
therapist and you're you're taking care of of these things
because listen, we're all trying to be better than the
(43:35):
last generation, you know what I mean. I'm trying to
have more than my parents did. And that's why my
parents sacrifice. All they did, you know, is to provide
me with a better life. And a part of having
a better life is also being mentally healthy. You know
that that's a huge part of it, and that's what
you should be thinking. Again, Like I said this a
little earlier, I'm big of always thinking what is my
(43:57):
end goal, you know, and and whatever I have to
do in between that. You know, there's gonna be uncomfortable moments.
There's gonna be hard moments and stuff I have to
push through, stuff I have to you know, get over
to get there. But I know what my end goal is,
so I'm willing to do so I'm willing to put
in the work. And you have to be willing to
put in the work. That's the the biggest thing when
(44:17):
it when it comes to this entire conversation. Man, You
know we uh in this generation particular, You know, we
have the opportunities to correct so many wrongs and so
many problems that our parents dealt with, and so many
things that they were not equipped to handle. We don't
have that excuse. We were all born, to some degree
(44:38):
to a level of privilege that our parents did not have.
Whether that privilege is access to technology, to information, um
or financially, whatever the case may be, we were all
born to a level of privilege that they did not have,
and rightfully so, I'd want that for my kids to
have more privilege than I had. So why let it
go to waste? Why let the opportunity to become better
(44:58):
go to waste? I want to see progress as a people,
as a culture, and a part of that is putting
the bullshit aside and stop carrying on traditions that no
longer serve us. That's the the main thing, the main
gist of it all. We carry on all this bullshit
that just means absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of
(45:18):
it all. And listen, our parents, the previous generations have
taught us a lot of incredible things, but we also
have to be able to leave behind the bullshit that
they fed us as well. And that's just the reality
of it. That's the hardest truth of it all. If
you want to be better, which I would hope that's
the goal of anybody. If you're listening to a podcast
like this, I would think you're striving to be better,
(45:39):
you know, put yourself out there and do it and listen.
I can't remember who does this quote, but they say,
you know, the life you want, it's not in your
comfort zone. That goes to anything that goes with whatever
big goal you have. Um, that life doesn't exist within
your comfort zone. And this mental health conversation is the
same exact thing. Of course, it's uncomfortable to be vulnerable
to somebody, especial a stranger. Um, you know, we have
(46:02):
all kinds of paranoid when it comes to that kind
of stuff. And rightfully so. Right historically doctors haven't been
great to people of color and all different kinds of things.
But again, we have to put ourselves in uncomfortable, unfamiliar
situations if we want to achieve the lives that we've
dreamed of, if we want to achieve you know, greater
lives that we have now, we have to strive for
(46:24):
something better, and we also have to you know, look
to different places in order to do so. So that's
all it comes down to. Men. You want to lead
a life where you're generally happy, and not just when
it comes to material things monetarily, but actually really really happy.
And that involves your health, not just physical health, but
also your mental health where you can wake up feeling good,
(46:47):
and the days that you don't, you have healthy coping
mechanisms and healthy strategies in order to get yourself through
those days so you can continue on living a beautiful
and just fulfilled life. And that's it. That's this week's conclusion.
Still an episode of life as a Green Girl in
the books. Um, thank you all so much for for
hanging with me. Manum, make sure you follow the instagram
(47:09):
at dj Dramas. I'll be posting the questions or leaving
an open so you can ask questions on whatever that
week's topic is. I want to make sure your voice
is heard in this show and anything you know you
want to hear from me, DM me leave a comment,
leave review of the show, whatever the case may be,
and I'll definitely read all that stuff and uh figure
out where I can can improve man, But thank you
(47:29):
all so much. Once again, Life as with Me dramas
until next week. Fight Life as a Gooding is a
production of the Michael Tha podcast Network and I Heart Radio.
If you or someone you know finds himself in a
suicidal crisis or an emotional distress, please do not hesitate
to reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at
(47:51):
one eight hundred to seven three eight to five five.
It's free and counselors are available twenty four hours a
day and speak both English and Spanish.
Let me let me talk about talk. Here we go.
He said he lived in life as a gringo, where
you question when you fit in every time you mingo
they say you do. This would not reperence, really, mad man,
Welcome to another episode of Life as a Gringo with
myself dramas. If you're new here, you're proceding. They're wondering, like, gringo,
(00:29):
what the hell does this mean? I mean he's Latin,
so what's the same gringo? I know there's like a
whole lot of different connotations to it. Um, so quick
short kind of tagline to it. If this is your
first time, check it out, um man, this show just
kind of represents, you know, those of us who grew
up in this kind of gray area. You know, we're
probably American born or I've lived in you know, the
States for the majority of our lives. Maybe a Spanish
(00:52):
trash like mine. I promised. I'm working on a Mama listening, um,
but you know, you live in this, in this gray area.
We don't quite fit in anywhere, you know. I can
remember going back home to Puerto Rico with my cousins
and they would call me a gringo. They would tell me,
I was too light, and you know, but I'm back
home with my with my friends. You know, i'd be
clowned because my house smelled a little bit different, you
(01:14):
know what I mean. We listen to different music in
the car, so you kinda grow up man, never really
knowing where you fit in and having this sort of
identity crisis. So, uh, this is kind of me taken
back the word gringo uh and using it for for
a positive kind of connotation. I guess if you will, um. So,
I mean, yeah, with the show, we're gonna just be
tackling a lot of different topics that affect our community. Uh,
(01:37):
and that I feel like maybe aren't spoken about enough
or in in enough detail. And I think this topic
today Today's show. I'm very excited about it because it's
something I'm extremely passionate about. And while it's been getting
a lot of attention, um, it's still something I feel
like it's not completely embraced or talked about, specifically in
(01:57):
the Latin community. And that is of course mental health.
I mean, I'm somebody who has you know, struggle with
and and and gone through bouts of depression and anxiety.
For man, as long as I can remember, um, you know,
I've gone to therapy on and off for man close
to ten years at this point, you know, so this
(02:18):
is definitely something that has been a large part of
my life, and it's something that I've you know, not
always been comfortable talking about. And I realized there's probably
so many other people out there who have a shared
experience with that, uh and maybe even just needs some
encouragement to to be comfortable speaking about it and getting
the health that they deserve and that they need, quite frankly,
(02:39):
So that's what we're gonna be talking about today. Um,
I got a bunch of different questions that I also
got from my Instagram. I put it out there. Uh,
you know, anybody that has specific questions and on the
topic of mental health. I'll be answered to a bunch
of those little bit later on in the show. Before
we get into that, though, let's let's start off maybe
dropping some some knowledge here. Uh. In a little segment
(03:01):
we call for the people in the back at the
people in the back say a lot of the people
in the the people in the sat alright, So if
you're new, here was again this segment. You know, we're
(03:22):
just gonna be uh kind of giving you some cold
heart facts. I'll interject some my own personal experiences, and
we're really just kind of dive into like the meat
and potatoes of this of this topic. Um. Of course,
again mental health being the one that we're talking about
this week. Now, what's interesting to me when it comes
to the discussion of mental health is you still have
(03:43):
people out there who like to think that it's like this,
you know, trendy thing, that that's why people are talking
about it. You know. I remember a pretty recently looking
on my Instagram feed and and seeing some dude make
a post, and it was like, uh oh, all of
a sudden, now everybody suffers depression because it's a trending
thing on social media. And it's like, nah, dick. People
(04:05):
are talking about depression now because it's a trendy topic
on social media. It's because there's less and less of
a stigma about it. And and the reality is, I
think people are starting to recognize they're not really alone
when it comes to things like depression or anxiety. I mean,
so many people suffer from it. So many people stuffer
from it. They don't even know what they're suffering from it. Um,
(04:25):
And we are getting to a place, as a as
a culture, as people where the conversations are beginning to
be had a lot more. I mean, you know, you
gotta give a big shout out to people who are
any public eye that are unafraid to talk about this.
I know I can remember for me, you know, when
I came to terms with the idea that just something
(04:48):
wasn't right. I didn't have a word for it. I
didn't call it depression. I didn't call it anxiety or
any of those things. Um, I just knew something something
wasn't right. And this was this is my early twenties, Um,
you know, so at that time, man, nobody was talking
about it. You know, Um, it kind of seemed like
therapy and all those things were something that you know,
(05:10):
was you know, for rich white people. That's really only
people I saw, you know, you saw people on TV.
It was like white people getting therapy and things of
that nature. So it didn't seem like something, um that
anybody that looked like me or had my upbringing, you know, did.
But I just knew that something wasn't right. Um. I
think I gotten out of a relationship at that time,
and um, I just I just I just you know,
(05:34):
kind of came to terms of the fact that the
way I was processing certain emotions, of the way that
I was maybe not processing it, it wasn't healthy and
it was becoming a pattern in my life. And UM,
at that time, I was broke. I was under my
mom's insurance, so I had to go to my parents,
specifically my mom. I was scared to go to my dad. UM.
I had to specifically go to my mom to to
(05:56):
ask her, um, you know, to allow me to use
her insurance and to get her insurance information so that
I could, uh, you know, look into getting a therapist.
And let me tell you now, it's like would never
be a big deal. But I remember back then like nerves,
my heart pounding. I remember put it off for days
to having that conversation, uh, you know, of of talking
to her and telling her that this was something I
(06:18):
was planning on doing, that I wanted to do. UM.
And then you know, those fears being just like reaffirmed
when I did tell her what I want, Like I remember,
you know, I waited till my dad was upstairs and
I called my mom to come downstairs into the kitchen,
and UM, and you know, me nervous is all hell
voice shaky, you know what I'm saying, like, and it's crazy.
(06:41):
I laughed thinking about it right now because it just
seems so wild that I was so nervous about having
this conversation. But I also think it's important to point
that out because there's probably so many people who still
made me feel that way. But I can remember UM
telling her and just be like, hey, you know, I
want to go see it there because I want to
work out some things that I feel like I'm not
(07:03):
you know, processing in a healthy way, and some emotions
and feelings that I can't really make sense of. Um.
And I don't know if I said it that eloquently,
but you know, paraphrasing here of course, but I remember
her response. It was just like okay, Like there was
like like no, she didn't know what the hell to
(07:24):
say that was I it was either like one of
two things, like it was either a oh, maybe my
son is like batshit crazy or be which I think
it was probably this one was like I think he's
being a little dramatic, but I'm going to play along
with it. And that's and that is like the craziest
(07:47):
thing to me, the fact that I was saying, man,
I kind of need help with emotions and depression and anxiety.
And the person on the other side of you telling
that your your parents is giving you the notion that
you know, you might just be dramatic and you're you're
making things to be a bigger deal. And I think,
I'm sure I'm not the only one who's gone through
(08:07):
something like that, um. And not to make it like
it's like this big traumatic thing, but in a moment
where you're nervous and in a moment where you feel alone,
to have somebody now sort of reaffirm your fears and
and make you feel even more alone is I don't know, man,
In that moment, I remember just being a really deflating thing, um,
(08:30):
to the point where I think I almost was like,
maybe I'm maybe I am being dramatic, Maybe I am
kind of making this a bigger deal on this is
just a part of life. And you know, thankfully, to
my credit, um, you know, I stuck it out and
and when and and got the help and realized just
how normal it was, and realized that you know, these
were real feelings and that I was actually in the
(08:51):
right when it came to wanting to find healthy ways
you know, and um, you know, it wasn't until years
later of having different open conversations with my parents and
things like that, UM, that my mom admitted to me
that she has anxiety, you know. And the funny thing
is she was asking me what does anxiety feel like?
And when I was describing it, she was reaffirming that
that's something she went through. So the irony is, I say,
(09:14):
all that's not place blame on our parents if you
have had a shared experience like mine. I say all that,
because the reality is, they weren't, you know, given these tools.
They didn't grow up with parents that were equipped to um,
decipher these different things. You know, these conversations weren't being
had when they grew up, so they don't know, you know,
(09:35):
how to talk about these things or the proper routes
to go or or any of the stuff, how to
handle these situations, you know. So, UM, it's normal maybe
for our generation, or it's becoming normal, should say, to
be open and there's different resources for us to hear
these conversations and uh and learn a little bit about it.
But the reality is our parents they did the best
of what they had, and these weren't conversations that were
(09:57):
you know, we're we're happening, um. And I do want
to to also aside from my own personal experience and uh,
you know, and and what I will say also is
that therapy helped me out, has helped me out greatly.
It's something that I periodically do on and off. Um.
Getting ready to look for a new therapist right now,
but it's definitely something that's greatly helped me. So anybody
(10:18):
that maybe he's on the fence right now listening to this,
I would highly suggest it, um. And you know, even
if you have people in your life that are still
think it's weird or it's crazy, just you need to
push forward, you know, uh and get the help that
you seek. And I do want to kind of get
into some some numbers as well, because I think when
you start seeing statistics and you start seeing the factual
(10:39):
things around it, hopefully at least for myself personally, brings
some comfort to it. And also my whole goal with
having a platform of any sort is to elevate my
people and to to bring awareness and to just help
us progress to be better in every single way. And
you know, we can't progress as a culture as a
people and do great things, man, if our mental health
(11:02):
isn't under control, and it's obvious that this is a
glaring issue in the Latin community, you know, black and
brown community as a whole, but specifically to this conversation,
the Latin community, I mean, UM, I pulled up a
really interesting read from Cardinal Innovations Healthcare and they had
some really great statistics that talked about mental health in
the Latin community. So one of the things they said
(11:23):
was that only thirty three of Latinos with the mental
illness received treatment each year compared to the average in
the US, So we're below average when it comes to
receiving treatment for our mental health. And another kind of
a few more statistics should say that I found to
be super interesting were, uh, Latinos who experienced symptoms of
(11:45):
a mental health disorder only talked to a doctor about
their symptoms, only ten percent contact a mental health professional,
and nineteen percent had no form of healthcare. And this
is according to report um. You know, so there's so
many things I want to unpack when it when it
comes to that, but just seeing those statistics, man, it's
(12:08):
it's scary to think how many of us are going
out there living our everyday lives, raising children and and
just trying to better ourselves. And we're dealing with something
that we can't quite put our finger on, um where
we have these you know, there's no way to describe it.
It's like this demon on our back that we can't
(12:29):
seem to shed. And it's because we're not taking the
time two you know, uh, to get the help for
it and to address it. And I mean listen, I
listened to a few different things, and there's so many
different reasons why, specifically in our culture, you know, uh,
that people aren't getting the help that they quite frankly
need and deserve. I mean, let's let's talk just a
(12:51):
few things. When it comes to expectations. You know, when
it comes to gender roles. You know, in the Latin
culture is always this machismo culture than and it's supposed
to be tough. You know. Men are expected to be strong, um,
you know, and to be providers and and all these
different things. Uh. And women uh in our culture are
expected to take care of the family before themselves. So
(13:14):
you put those two things together, it's like, yeah, I
mean we're raised on that culture. Of course, we're not
looking at mental health, of course, we're not wanting to
admit that something is wrong, as men were feeling that
that's going to make us look weak. And as women, uh,
you know you feel you know, women might feel guilty
taking care of herself, you know, before the family, so
(13:37):
to speak, you know, in taking that time for herself,
and both of those things are detrimental to the progression
of our people. All right, I got a lot more
that I want to get into when it comes to this,
but um, let's do a quick break and we'll be
right back. All right, we are back. And this article
that I'm reading, they they say being diagnosed with a
mental illness may cause shame. Also, discussing personal or family
(14:00):
matters with outsiders is not common and sometimes even discouraged
within the Latin culture. So there's all of these different
things that you talked about, I mean, uh, and specifically
that when it breaks it down to two things which
I found to be super interesting. So it talks about first, um,
the idea of of shame, right and this this is
interesting to me because as I was kind of you know,
(14:22):
taking some mental notes of what I wanted to talk
about on on today's show, Um, it brought back certain
memories and there's this idea, especially those of us here
in the States and those of us who, um, to
my experience, got out of an area like where my
family is from the Bronx and moved over to the suburbs.
Well in suburbs, you know, we were the only Latin
(14:43):
family on the block for the majority of of my upbringing,
you know, at this when I was young. You know.
So while I've never had this complete conversation with my parents,
you know, prior to this whole podcast and everything, you know,
it's it's easy to recognize the fact that they felt
a certain pressure to almost be perfect, you know what
(15:03):
I mean, because they're feeling like their neighbors are looking
at them as if they don't belong here, and if
they show any sort of weakness or show any sort
of sign of being lesser than it sort of just
proves that point, you know. And um, while that is
kind of maybe a made up thing, maybe not, you know,
and and to be honest, actually probably isn't because there
are certain experiences I've had, I mean, not to get
(15:25):
off topic, I could do a whole podcast on you know,
racial interactions and things like that, and I'm sure I
will down the line, but I can't even remember. You know,
there was like this parking feud I had with a
white neighbor about parking my car on a certain part
of the street and her she came at me like,
when you guys have all these people living in your
house and not to even validate this argument, but that that.
(15:48):
But we had myself, my sister, and my parents living
in the house. But it was like this notion. It
was this um you know, her her racism showing obviously,
and it was this uh, this stereotype that she had
that she wanted us to live up to. So I
can only imagine, you know, people like my parents, first generation,
to get out of the hood and to get out
of the inner city and to not be in an
(16:09):
area where they're surrounded by um people who share their
similar upbring they felt the pressure to have some level
of perfection, you know, and and not show weakness in
those things. And um, I can't blame them for that.
But the downside to it is not addressing issues as well,
because you're kind of trying to sweep things under the rug. Um.
(16:29):
And the the other thing is this idea of not
discussing family matters outsiders and I think that also lends
itself into the same kind of thing. You know, once
you start discussing your weaknesses with others. Outside of that,
you know, people are able to look down on you,
you know, or at least you feel like they have
the upper hand of looking down on you. Um And
(16:50):
And again, I think that leads into this idea of
having to feel like you're you're perfect you know. Um
and and there's also this idea. It also talks about
the I do that. Latinos also prefer to seek help
from other sources like prayer, you know, the church and listen,
I'm not here to knock the church to not God
or any of these things, but let's let's be real.
(17:13):
You can't pray everything away. Let's be let's be all
the way real here, like you know some things man,
like you know, I'm sorry, but God would like you
to go address certain things, like I can remember so
many instances of like man, uh my mom would kill me,
or talks but like weird, you know, shaman people who
(17:35):
claim to be like touched by God and can like
predict things and put these blessing over you different periods
by life, them coming in just ridiculous things like that,
like I'm sorry with some ship like you know, you
gotta get a real professional. And that that's this old
school mindset we have in our community of spirituality and
the church and all these different things. Um, that's just
(17:57):
not fitting for us when it comes to living in
the the real world, you know. Um. And not to
talk down the church or these things once again, but guys,
they're not doctors, you know. And and um, this idea
that you can pray away feelings like depression or anxiety
or suicidal thoughts. Um, going along with that is is
(18:19):
a complete disservice two. You know, the person going through
those those emotions, you know. Um. And there there's also
the conversation outside of our own personal feelings, you know,
or our own cultural upbring But it's the reality that
(18:41):
a lot of people in our community don't have access
to health care, and if they do, it's not great.
I mean, according to this article, I mean, it talks
about that minorities and multicultural communities tend to receive a
lower quality of healthcare. And now I talk about how
I went to go see a therapist if I wasn't
under my mom's insurance, if I wasn't covered under her insurance,
(19:03):
and she had a great insurance at the time, being
a teacher, I would have never been able to go
see a therapist. Like when I tell you, at that
time my life, I was broke, broke, like I had
to borrow the thirty dollars a week for the um
deductive or the copey from my mom every week when
I went to go see a therapist. Like that's how
broke was. Imagine if I had to pay that almost
what two bill a session, I would have never gotten
(19:24):
that help. I would have never been able to do that.
And and that's a huge part of the problem as
well when it comes to two people in our community.
And and you know, when you're talking about inner city
communities or impoverished communities or under privilege or underserved us
to say communities, you know, these are a lot of
people who, unfortunately are are really having to prioritize what
(19:47):
they do with their money because it's either feeding the
family and paying the rent or making the decision for
something like therapy. Of course, therapy is gonna fall, uh
you know, kind of on the lower side of that
spectrum when it comes to just importance, right, I mean
so there's so many different barriers that that hurt us.
And you know what I would say to that is,
(20:09):
you know, we have to make these things a priority.
You know, are our livelihood depends on it. You know,
um our ability to be positive influences for our next
generations depends on it. You know, we've survived so much
UM and and to allow ourselves to not fully evolve
and and to fully kind of become who we you know,
(20:33):
can be and who we strive to be just because
we're not paying attention to ourselves is absolutely terrible, you know. UM.
One other thing that I found to be super interesting
that they pointed out was also the immigration experience, you know,
something that is so pertinent to to so many people
UM in the Latin community. And it says that Althenos
(20:54):
and other immigrant communities who encounter these challenges often are
at greater risk of PTSD, depression, suicide, and stress associated
with the fear of deportation. So think about that for
a little bit. You know, those who whose family has
immigrated here or if you personally have, like that's some
(21:14):
traumatic ship, like you went through leaving a crazy situation
to now struggling to come over here. And then you're
coming here with absolutely nothing and you're trying to make
it work and trying to build a life for you
and your family under dire circumstances. And then you're living
with the constant everyday stress of possible deportation, of that
(21:37):
that knock at the door possibly being the one that
sends you back to living in poverty. That's some some
real life stressful type of ships. And I'm sorry, but
like we're all human, we're all going to succumb to that.
And and that's why you see certain things like alcoholism
being rampant and so many communities, you know, or or
(21:59):
drug use and things like that. It's because people are
trying to find a way to deal with that stress
in a in a healthy manner. And you got to
talk about that stuff like there's there's no other way
to it. You have to let go of that stuff.
We're all internalizing and burying so much ship and it
(22:19):
really is just doing such a disservice to us and
doing so much harm to us. And it absolutely you know,
um breaks my heart to to even think about how
many issues are going unaddressed or how many family dynamics
are um Man just in in terrible places because there
(22:43):
is so much rampant mental health issues just going unaddressed.
And and it's sad to think that people struggled to
come here, build a life for their family, have a
have a better situation, and they do all the work,
you know, the kids are now going to college, all
that stuff, but they never can find true peace and
(23:06):
happiness because they haven't addressed the mental health issues that
they're they're you know, going through and that are a
result of the life, um that they lived, you know.
So to me, it's it's it's all for not. I
don't care if I have all the money in the world,
if I'm you know, driving the nicest car, all that
kind of ship. Like, if I don't have my mental
in order, man, I have nothing, you know what I'm saying.
(23:28):
Like you can wake up in a mansion depressed, unhappy,
you know what I'm saying. Like, that's the wild part
about this, and that actually leads into, uh, this this
next section of the show, UM called me hn there
and the person that was, you know, the the inspiration
for for doing this topic, UM and this episode. Before
we get into that, though, we're gonna take a quick
(23:50):
break and we'll be right back. So if your first
time listener, this part of the show UM based that
either you know, put the spotlight on on somebody that
I think is doing great work on whatever particular topic
I'm covering, or I'll also have a different guest on
(24:11):
the on the show. UM. This week, I want to
spotlight the person that was a huge inspiration for me
wanting to take on this topic right now, and that
is Jay Balvin. So, Jay Balvin was super open about
his his struggle with depression and anxiety. He was actually
on Becky G's podcast in LaSala and he was just
(24:32):
talking you know, real ship, and I think that what's
interesting about about him as you look at somebody like
a Jay Balvin, This is what was my takeway when
I saw that, it was like, damn, you know, um,
this is important for for somebody like him to say this.
And the reason being, you look at somebody like a
Jay Balvin, who is you know, um rich, famous, incredibly successful,
(24:57):
incredibly talented, seemingly has everything that any one of us
could ever want in this life right from the outside
looking and of course, but here he is having all
of that yet having the same exact struggle that somebody
like myself or somebody like you has, you know, and
that's while it's it's terrible, you don't ever want to
(25:19):
wish that upon anybody, there is a level of comfort
that comes with that as well, because I think it's
easy for a lot of us to kind of misdiagnosed
these feelings as just saying, oh, well, it's because you know, um,
I've had a rough month financially, I've had a rough
month at work. You know, Um, it's because I'm I'm
still you know, striving for this particular goal that I
(25:39):
can't seem to get my my head around or get
any headway on. And you know, when you see cases
like this, you see people like this talking about it,
it's obviously no, that's not the case. Like depression, anxiety,
these are these are real things and while of course
you're outside environment um influences them and can bring them
out at different times. You know, the reality is, these
(26:00):
are things that need to be addressed for godless of
how amazing you're doing in life or how terrible you're
doing in life, these are just things that do not
go away and do not discriminate, you know. He He
says certain things that are just super powerful. Like you know, uh,
I was crying for no reason, you know, he says, Um,
you lose hope and you feel strange at every place
you go. You feel like you're outside your body, and
(26:23):
and it's it's it's crazy too again to hear somebody
like that man when you look at it, it's like, yo,
this guy has it all. He even goes on to
say that, you know, um, his depression got so bad
at one point he laid in bed for five days
and a quote waiting to die. Like it's you don't
expect to hear that from from somebody like this, And
(26:44):
I have to give him his flowers because that takes
a lot of balls, Like to be that guy in
this space, in this community that we know, um doesn't
speak about these kinds of things openly. To be somebody
at the forefront of that, you know, young and quote
unquote cool, you know, talking about this stuff and in
such a candle way is absolutely, um amazing. You know that.
(27:07):
That's really all I could say for it. You know, Um,
it's interesting. And he even says, you know, he couldn't understand,
you know, at the time why he was struggling with depression.
While his career was exploding. Right, So it's the same
kind of concept. But we all think, oh, you have
it all, you have it all, why are you upset
or there's no way this person could be struggling with anything,
and and you know, the reality is um again, this
(27:32):
doesn't discriminate. This sickness does not discriminate and going unchecked
with it. It doesn't matter how much material things you
have in this life, how many career opportunities you have,
if you do not take care of your mental health
and make it a priority, it is going to take
you out one way or another. You know, you cannot
(27:53):
outrun this forever. And it's important too to address it.
So so to that to Jay Balberford just being you know,
so and so candident and at the forefront of this man,
it's uh, it's it's absolutely just amazing to see somebody
like that be so candid. So once again, salute to me.
Hint the Jay Balvin. Now from Jay Balvin, do you guys,
let's let's answer some questions that I got. So I
(28:14):
want this this show to be super interactive, of course,
so I put out on my Instagram at DJ dramas
some questions throughout the week or just like an open
ended one any questions you have as it pertains to
this topic right here, happening to mental health. And I'll
do this every week, so if you want your voice heard,
I'll do it anonymously. Of course, we'll get into some
questions and let's do it now. It's called ask a
good ingle, all right. So the first question I want
(28:41):
to get to this week is actually a great starting
place when it comes to these uh So, the question
is how do you get to a space where you
allow yourself to be vulnerable enough to ask for help?
That's a great question, um, And I think one of
the biggest things that I've begun to realize, or not
just when it comes to asking for help, but just
in general when it comes to finding comfort in your
(29:03):
own skin, is you just have to realize, man, I'm
the one who has to wake up every day to
this life. Right Like of course, you know you want
your parents to be proud of you and those around
you to be in support of what you do. But
when it all comes down to when it's all said
and done, man, you're the one waking up every morning
(29:23):
with these thoughts and this life. You're the one going
to bed every night with these thoughts and this life.
So you have to begin to to make decisions that
you know put you personally in the in the best
position to lead a great life. And one of those
things is allowing yourself to be vulnerable enough to get
(29:45):
help when needed and to be at the end of
the day unapologetically yourself, because that's the only way you're
gonna find real happiness in general, is being unapologetically yourself.
And when you're unapologetically yourself, and we've seen this when
it comes to like, I'm one of my favorite people
in this world is Dennis Rodman because the dude is
so unapologetically himself and that's why he is such a legend.
(30:08):
You know, It's because he's unafraid to be Dennis Rodman.
That's why he's so cool. That's why we're so fascinated
by him. Right, So, if you look at that historically,
like the people that are winning in this life are
those who double down on themselves and and are unafraid
of other people's opinions. And I think, to me, that's
like a bigger analogy for how to find happiness in
(30:29):
this life is just really doubling down on who you are,
what makes you happy, what benefits you, and and you know,
what leads you to being the best version of yourself.
And vulnerability is a part of that, you know, being
unafraid to say, I don't have all the answers here,
you know, um, but I'm looking for the looking for
the answers. I'm unafraid to ask for help when it
comes to finding those answers, you know. And I think
(30:51):
that that's a part of it. So I know it's uncomfortable,
but I have to say from my own experiences, this
podcast in you know, as an example of that, Like
me having a platform has made me have to be
more vulnerable. And what has happened my career, um and
my life in general, you know, have blossomed as a
result of me being unafraid to express my thoughts, ideas
(31:14):
and feelings. You know. So that is something that you know,
you can apply to your life regardless of what you do.
And when it comes to mental health and therapy and
things like that, you know, you being vulnerable and you
pushing through that initial uncomfortable nous of sharing your thoughts
with a stranger, that's going to lead to you getting
the help that you need and finding healthy ways of
(31:37):
processing your emotions. So you know, you kind of just
have to push past it and know it's going to
feel uncomfortable. But the reality is, mant anything that's worth
doing is outside of your comfort zone. So the healing
that you seek, the the good you know life, where
you're in a great mental space and you're not struggling
with with these demons. You know that is all beyond
(31:59):
you know, your your comfort zone. You just have to
push yourself to to do it and understand that what
is your angle? I think that's the best way I
can kind of sum it up is always think of things,
what is my my angle? And if this case is,
you know your ang goal in this case is to
be mentally healthy and to be happy, then push yourself
through the bs of feeling uncomfortable and just know that
(32:20):
once you do so, you're putting yourself on a path
to to getting what you want. You're putting yourself on
a path to that angle. Now, this one is a
bit of a heavy question, but I think it's important
to tackle, especially building off of the last one of vulnerability.
It says, uh, is it normal to have suicidal thoughts
and question your own mortality. Now, this one's heavy and
(32:44):
it's not something people are super open to talking about,
myself included, But for the sake of of this and
putting myself out there, we talked about vulnerability. Personally. I
do think that it is normal. You know. Um, maybe
not everybody has those kind of thoughts, but I can
personally say that I have, you know, while I haven't
you know, been at a point where I've maybe um
(33:08):
had a suicide thought and it's pushed me to you know,
plan out, uh taking my own life or something like that. Um. Yeah,
I mean I've thought about what would it be like,
what would it be like if I wasn't wasn't here,
you know. Um. And you know, one thing that I
think I've always struggle with, and I've only said this
to to personally, you know, people in my in my
(33:29):
life and a therapist, but one thing I've always kind
of had on my mind is this idea of what
would my funeral look like? You know. And that's like
a super heavy and dark kind of thing. But I
say all this to hopefully help normalize certain things, you know,
and make you realize, like, listen, we all have dark
thoughts man like, and that's the point of going to
(33:50):
somebody who can help you process those things, you know,
because if you think about what I'm saying when it
comes to let's say, my funeral, that that's sort of
more so my own maybe insecurities of my own value,
of my own impact that I've had in this world
and not had, you know. I think the for me,
if I'm looking at it like that, it's like, Okay,
I'm wondering about my funeral because I'm wondering who will
(34:10):
be there, you know what people did I impact enough
that you know, feel like they need to make the
time to to go there, you know, And that's like
a level of insecurity that I'm I'm dealing with, you know. Um,
But yeah, I mean I would say, if you're feeling
those thoughts, are thinking those thoughts, um, don't sit there
and feel alone on an island. I think that you're
you know, crazy because you're you're thinking that a lot
(34:33):
of people, do, you know. I think at some point
in our lives we all probably have had some sort
of thought like that, what would be like if I
wasn't here or I don't want to be here? You know? Um,
what I would say is don't let it go unchecked.
You know, those are um cries for help. And I
don't mean that in like a way of weakness. I
just think that it's it means that you know, you're
really going through something, or you're really battling some sort
(34:54):
of inner feeling, some sort of inner demons, and you
need to talk to somebody about it. But yeah, I mean,
if you're feeling those thoughts, just no, you're not alone
in that um and and it doesn't mean that you're crazy.
It doesn't mean that, you know, you need to be
put in some room with padded walls somewhere. Um. You know,
it just means that you should address that with a
with a professional and dive into where those thoughts are
(35:17):
coming from, you know. And of course, you know, if
you're at the point where you're going to take action
on those thoughts, then then please, you know, make sure
you you immediately do something about it. Immediately call somebody,
Immediately phone somebody and talk to them about it. But
just understand it and recognize that that doesn't mean that
you are some crazy person out there like this is
(35:37):
something that is common for for a lot of people,
and I can speak to my own experiences. I've had
those thoughts before as well, and you know you're not
alone in that. And now the next one's interesting because
I've got through this personally, like pretty recently. Um, and
the question it's more of a statement, but it says
telling your parents about your traumas is traumatic because they
take it very personal. I think that's a great point.
(36:00):
I've had a lot of conversations with my parents recently
have things that I've been holding onto for years, And
that's a great point because I think, you know, hey,
let's let's talk your parents for a second. I think
your parents, you know, they take it personally because you know,
the reality is they sacrifice a lot, you know what
(36:21):
I mean, regardless of mistakes along the way, and and
they're only humans, so that that's gonna be you know,
kind of powerful the course. But your parents sacrifice a lot,
and they know damn well they sacrifice a lot. So
to hear you complain about something, you know, I guess
the initial knee jerk reaction is going to be like, yo, like,
you know how much I sacrificed for your ungrateful as
to be sitting in the position in right now? You know,
(36:44):
and I guess that's their initial thought, and I understand it,
and you know I would I would say, you know,
you can't take that personally. You know, at the end
of the day, I think it's commendable the fact that
you're even opening up to your parents and trying to
address these types of things. UM. But I think I
don't think that doing so is like where you should
(37:05):
be searching for that release or like that that feeling
of freedom from the from those emotions. You know. I
think it's good to face them, but if you're looking
for a certain response, I think you're kind of doing
it wrong. You know. The point of this is not
for them to give you the response that you want.
The point of this is for you to no longer
be holding onto it right now that if you're sitting
(37:26):
there trying to talk to them about the past traumas
that maybe they were a part of, or that they
caused or they turned a blind eye to. Um, the
reality is nothing that they say is going to maybe
make you feel better or take anything away from what happened.
You know, Uh, you're doing it. You have to be
doing it more so to just get that relief of
it being out there, you know, and being known to
(37:47):
them that this is what happened. And to me, the
the real healing comes from the reason why we're you know,
talking about seeing a therapist, because this is a professional
who can actually, um give you effective ways of dealing
with those traumas you know, and they we as people
can't control the way others respond to things, um and,
(38:08):
regardless of how much we want them to, you know,
validate our feelings and whatever the case may be, that's
just not a good, you know, method for for healing
and getting to a place of healing. You know, it
has to be something we internally um deal with and
that regardless of any outside factors, that we come to
a place of healing for ourselves, you know. And if
your parents, you know, after you're venting to them, are
(38:31):
receptive to it and understanding of it and maybe even apologetic, beautiful,
but that you can't go into with that being the goal,
because you're just setting yourself up for possible you know, disappointment,
because reality is, we can't control the way others interpret things,
um and and the way people want to or don't
want to sort of you know, let go of a
(38:51):
bit of their ego when it comes to admitting that
they've done something wrong. All right, let's see me at
Another one says, what does anxiety feel like you? Man um, anxiety,
It's hard to describe. It's just like for me, it's
just like this very sort of like ANTSI feeling like
this feeling of like, man, I gotta get out of here. Um.
(39:14):
There's almost kind of feeling a panic to a degree.
Maybe my my heart beats a little bit faster. Uh,
maybe I have like, you know, butterflies in my stomach,
my my palms might get a little bit sweaty or
something like that. Um, it is just kind of like
this this weird feeling of being like trapped almost, you know,
(39:34):
and and not you don't necessarily have to physically be
like enclosed into an area, just kind of feel like
you're you're trapped, you know, or you just kind of
feel super super uneasy, you know. And the weird thing
about it is sometimes it comes from absolutely nowhere. Like
there could be other times like maybe you're like I
don't know, startled or or something, and then it's like
(39:56):
now you're just too anxious to to you know, get
relax or something like that. Like if you're walking up
out of a sleep abruptly or something. Um that that
gives you the feeling of anxiety. Um, but it's also
just like, yeah, I think to me, the best way
to describe it is is this feeling of like of
like trapped, like I gotta get out of here, you know.
(40:17):
And um, that's the only way I could really kind
of describe it. And it's like, again, not I don't
want to say, not a logical feeling, but it's not
like a feeling like like if somebody, like you know,
locked me in a tiny room, then that's like logically, yeah,
I'm gonna feel trapped, But it could be anywhere. You
could be sitting at the park and all of a
sudden you just feel like super anxious, like man, I
(40:38):
just gotta get the hell out of here, and you
don't know why you're feeling that way. You know. That's
kind of what I would describe anxiety as. And it
doesn't really usually always have um like this rational sort
of like reasoning behind it, or it's not necessarily just
like a reaction to a very specific thing. Sometimes it
(40:58):
really just feels like this weird, abrupt emotion, you know. Um,
that's the best way I can describe it. I don't know.
I don't know if that was great, but that's kind
of how I feel it, all right. And this last one, um,
it actually leads us pretty well. I love a good
segway as a radio dude. Uh. It kind of leads
us perfectly into our conclusion. Stime. So, my first time
(41:26):
listeners this part of the show, as we close out,
you know, I put a nice little tie everything up
with a nice little bow, uh, that we we talked
about in today's episode. So the question that I thought
led to a great uh segue into conclusions to the
question was, um, what is the best way to cope
with mental health? And it's it's what I've been preaching
(41:47):
this entire episode. Man, It's it's getting professional help. And
I know that's like a very simple and easy, easy
kind of you know, way to put things and maybe um,
you know, making a little bit too easy, but that's
the truth. It's it's just like anything else, you know, uh,
in this life. It's like if you're a kid and
(42:08):
you have the you know, privilege of being able to
do so, Um, if your math is not good and
you can afford a tutor, you should get a tutor.
It's the same kind of thing. You know, these things
don't just go away, They don't magically disappear, as much
as we try to bury them. We need to get
the help. And like I talked about earlier, somebody like A. J.
Balvin proves it doesn't matter what status you are in
(42:32):
this life, your wealth, your success, your fame, cloud, whatever
the hell you wanna call it. Depression, anxiety, it does
not discriminate against any of those things. It can hit
any of us, and we all go through it. You're
not alone in this. So you know the idea of
feeling weird about it and all the bs that comes
(42:52):
along with being in the Latin community and all these
different you know, notions and kind of old school feelings
of things, and and you know how I talked about
earlier about our community feeling shame or feel like they
have to be perfect or not wanting to let strangers
in or whatever other nonsense and bullshit that we've been
taught growing up that does not serve us and are
(43:13):
things that we need to unlearned if we want to
progress as a people. You know, all of that stuff
is nonsense, And the reality is when you have an
issue when you want to get better at something, it's
always best to seek the help of a professional. And
that's all you're doing when you're going to see a
therapist and you're you're taking care of of these things
because listen, we're all trying to be better than the
(43:35):
last generation, you know what I mean. I'm trying to
have more than my parents did. And that's why my
parents sacrifice. All they did, you know, is to provide
me with a better life. And a part of having
a better life is also being mentally healthy. You know
that that's a huge part of it, and that's what
you should be thinking. Again, Like I said this a
little earlier, I'm big of always thinking what is my
(43:57):
end goal, you know, and and whatever I have to
do in between that. You know, there's gonna be uncomfortable moments.
There's gonna be hard moments and stuff I have to
push through, stuff I have to you know, get over
to get there. But I know what my end goal is,
so I'm willing to do so I'm willing to put
in the work. And you have to be willing to
put in the work. That's the the biggest thing when
(44:17):
it when it comes to this entire conversation. Man, You
know we uh in this generation particular, You know, we
have the opportunities to correct so many wrongs and so
many problems that our parents dealt with, and so many
things that they were not equipped to handle. We don't
have that excuse. We were all born, to some degree
(44:38):
to a level of privilege that our parents did not have.
Whether that privilege is access to technology, to information, um
or financially, whatever the case may be, we were all
born to a level of privilege that they did not have,
and rightfully so, I'd want that for my kids to
have more privilege than I had. So why let it
go to waste? Why let the opportunity to become better
(44:58):
go to waste? I want to see progress as a people,
as a culture, and a part of that is putting
the bullshit aside and stop carrying on traditions that no
longer serve us. That's the the main thing, the main
gist of it all. We carry on all this bullshit
that just means absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of
(45:18):
it all. And listen, our parents, the previous generations have
taught us a lot of incredible things, but we also
have to be able to leave behind the bullshit that
they fed us as well. And that's just the reality
of it. That's the hardest truth of it all. If
you want to be better, which I would hope that's
the goal of anybody. If you're listening to a podcast
like this, I would think you're striving to be better,
(45:39):
you know, put yourself out there and do it and listen.
I can't remember who does this quote, but they say,
you know, the life you want, it's not in your
comfort zone. That goes to anything that goes with whatever
big goal you have. Um, that life doesn't exist within
your comfort zone. And this mental health conversation is the
same exact thing. Of course, it's uncomfortable to be vulnerable
to somebody, especial a stranger. Um, you know, we have
(46:02):
all kinds of paranoid when it comes to that kind
of stuff. And rightfully so. Right historically doctors haven't been
great to people of color and all different kinds of things.
But again, we have to put ourselves in uncomfortable, unfamiliar
situations if we want to achieve the lives that we've
dreamed of, if we want to achieve you know, greater
lives that we have now, we have to strive for
(46:24):
something better, and we also have to you know, look
to different places in order to do so. So that's
all it comes down to. Men. You want to lead
a life where you're generally happy, and not just when
it comes to material things monetarily, but actually really really happy.
And that involves your health, not just physical health, but
also your mental health where you can wake up feeling good,
(46:47):
and the days that you don't, you have healthy coping
mechanisms and healthy strategies in order to get yourself through
those days so you can continue on living a beautiful
and just fulfilled life. And that's it. That's this week's conclusion.
Still an episode of life as a Green Girl in
the books. Um, thank you all so much for for
hanging with me. Manum, make sure you follow the instagram
(47:09):
at dj Dramas. I'll be posting the questions or leaving
an open so you can ask questions on whatever that
week's topic is. I want to make sure your voice
is heard in this show and anything you know you
want to hear from me, DM me leave a comment,
leave review of the show, whatever the case may be,
and I'll definitely read all that stuff and uh figure
out where I can can improve man, But thank you
(47:29):
all so much. Once again, Life as with Me dramas
until next week. Fight Life as a Gooding is a
production of the Michael Tha podcast Network and I Heart Radio.
If you or someone you know finds himself in a
suicidal crisis or an emotional distress, please do not hesitate
to reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at
(47:51):
one eight hundred to seven three eight to five five.
It's free and counselors are available twenty four hours a
day and speak both English and Spanish.
Host
DJ Dramos
Popular Podcasts
United States of Kennedy
United States of Kennedy is a podcast about our cultural fascination with the Kennedy dynasty. Every week, hosts Lyra Smith and George Civeris go into one aspect of the Kennedy story.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.