July 17, 2025 • 10 mins
Growing up in a Latino household, real conversations about sex often felt one-sided—or didn’t happen at all. In this special episode, Dramos opens up about how that silence made it harder to talk openly with friends and partners about sex, intimacy, and boundaries. He explores the fears and cultural pressures that make these talks intimidating, from worries about inexperience to the weight of tradition. Dramos also shares why learning to be vulnerable with peers and partners is so important for sexual health and building real trust. From navigating dating and safe sex to getting tested regularly, this episode breaks down why these “hard conversations” matter—and how having them can help protect yourself and others, emotionally and physically.
This episode is brought to you by Healthysexual from Gilead Sciences.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Let me talk about talk. There we go, he said,
he lived life pas a ringo where you question when
you fit in every time you mingle, they say you
do this with not that, this life as a lingo. Yes, hello,
and welcome to ano episode of life as a Gringo.
I am dramas of course, and we are back with
(00:30):
another little mini bonus episode here, and like we did
with the last one, I want to continue this conversation
around sex, right, and you know the taboos that surround it.
And you know, again I've literally just tightened up a
little bit, as I said, the word sex, right, and
(00:52):
and so much of that is my programming, you know,
from being a kid that growing up in a Latino household. Right,
there's so many just conversations that didn't happen that then
make the idea of sex or even the word sex
feel a bit uncomfortable. Many of us don't have the
(01:15):
resources or don't have good resources to sort of build
our healthy relationship with sex. But also when we don't
talk about it, or we don't feel like we have
a trusted resource around it, it prevents us from sharing
our experiences and inevitably sharing our concerns, right. And that
can lead to the normalization of so many different things
(01:37):
that really are not healthy for us. So today we're
going to talk a bit about being able to have
a support system that allows us to sort of sift through,
you know, myths versus facts, and gives us a safe
space to maybe challenge certain cultural taboos, you know. And
then on the other side of it, aside from having
(01:57):
an outlet when it comes to maybe friends or loved
ones or family, whatever, it might be also being able
to have conversations with your partners. Right, with all that
in mind, let's get into our Mihente segment. Now. I
(02:20):
know I touched on this a bit in the previous episode,
but I think it's something really important to reiterate, you know,
because many of us, myself included, didn't have trusted resources
to have these conversations, you know, around around sex. You know,
for many of us growing up in the households that
(02:42):
we did, I'm sure there was a fear of being punished, right,
or that your family wouldn't understand or would shun you
for having premarital sex, depending on how strict or religious
of a household you grew up in. And I think
in general, I don't you know, want to paint with
too much of a broad brush here, But I feel
like I've spoken to enough people and had enough experiences
(03:05):
from those in our community, you know, who have co
signed a shared experience of you know, our parents were
oftentimes incredibly tough on us in you know, the Latin community,
and not any shade to them, it's obviously they wanted
nothing but the best for us and to protect us
and keep us safe. But as a result, I think
(03:28):
there wasn't much opportunity for real dialogue around important things
or deep things, or feelings or vulnerability, and I would
include sex under that sort of umbrella. It was sort
of more of you're getting talked to rather than somebody
having a conversation with you. And that doesn't create an
environment where you feel like you can be open and
(03:51):
honest and vulnerable and ask questions, right, And then that
sort of leaves you to, Okay, I can't have the
conversations at home, you know, around something as simple as protection. Right.
If I can't have that conversation at home, then I
have to find that information somewhere else, right, And generally
for many of us, then it's like your friends, your
peer group, right, and even with that, I personally, as
(04:13):
a young man, didn't feel like I had, you know,
a competent or open peer group. I feel like my
friends were trying to figure it out just like I was.
And I think much of the ego and toxic masculinity,
if you will, of you know, growing up as a
(04:33):
young man, nobody wanted to admit that they didn't know
what they were doing. So even if even if you
know you're all sharing in the same question or concern,
people are going to bs and make stuff up and
pretend like they know right and then as a result,
you're getting the wrong information. You know, so we're kind
of like you know, compiling you know, cultural taboos, and
(04:57):
then you package that with as you know, kids, teens,
young adults growing up, nobody's really conditioned to have these
open and honest conversations around the idea of sex. So
you're really hindering yourself from getting the right information, which
(05:17):
then can lead you to having a positive and healthy
sex life. And the culmination of that, what I've learned
as an adult shows up in the form of your
partners when you begin to get into relationships and without
this ability to have these quote unquote tough conversations, you
(05:38):
are potentially putting yourself in a position to risk your health. Right.
I've had plenty of instances where I didn't necessarily feel
incredibly comfortable talking about, you know, concerns with a partner.
I can remember, you know, having experiences where my partner
(06:00):
was offended that I wanted to practice safe sex, you know.
And there are so many things, you know, we get
put in these positions where we find ourselves in these
positions where if we don't have the ability to advocate
for ourselves, we could potentially be putting ourselves in a
bad situation, right, or one that could could harm us.
(06:21):
And the last thing I want to touch on is
the idea of normalizing getting tested regularly, because I think
this has so much stigma. And I know for a
fact that a in my household, this was never even
a conversation because I think there is a stigma that
if you are somebody who needs an STD test, you
(06:42):
are automatically like you belong to the streets, you're dirty,
or whatever it is. Right, And again, I think even
in my peer group as guys growing up, nobody talked
about getting tested until they had a fear that maybe
they got something. And the reality is is, like we
have to normalize the idea of getting tested directly. It's
(07:03):
the only way if you are a sexually active adult,
you know, it's the only way to protect yourself and
others and to be on top of things, you know,
and to be proactive in taking your health seriously. And
that lends itself to the idea of of safe sex
(07:23):
right and contraception options. I mean, I give you that example,
you know before of somebody thinking that, you know, because
I asked because I want to use a condom with her,
that I was insinuating that she was, you know, dirty,
or something like that. Like that's, you know, some sort
of unhealthy mindset that somebody picked up along the way
(07:44):
that leads them to not protecting themselves right and things
like birth control, you know, and even that, like I've
you know, I don't have children, and I'm not a woman,
so I can't speak to this, but I've heard plenty
of experiences from women in our community where they talk
about wanting to have gone on birth control and that
it became this whole big thing amongst their parents. You know,
(08:08):
if they wanted to go on birth control when they
were in high school whatever it was, because the assumption
is you're doing this just so you can go out
there and have sex and all these and like again,
this like demonization of the idea of sex. We've been
trained in society. The stigmatization of it all bleeds into
our mind and at times our ability to even do
(08:30):
what's best for ourselves. That embarrassment that comes up almost
you know, as a result of the lack of conversation
or the plethora of negative and borderline traumatizing conversations. So yeah,
that's that's that's my two sents on this topic right now.
(08:51):
As far as the idea of communicating and being able
to have open and honest conversations around sex that say,
it's time of thing we talked about today at Little
Bow in a segment called Conclusion Stew Conclusion. So, I mean,
(09:12):
I've said this a bunch, whether it was this episode
of the last one, the idea that so many of
us don't have a real support system or anability to
have open dialogue around sex. The reality is we need
to build support systems in our life, and that means having,
you know, a group of people, and it could be
(09:32):
a small group of people in fact, it should be
where we can share our experiences, where we can learn
from others, and we can grow in in having those conversations.
You know, we're talking about our actual health here right,
you know, genuinely are both physical and emotional health. And
the people that you are choosing to have sex with,
(09:54):
you know, your partners in this. All that we've talked
about sort of culminates in you having the ability to
have open and honest conversations with them, because you have
to be able to talk about your boundaries, and you
have to be able to talk about safe sex practices
and not feel weird about it, no matter how casual
of an experience it might be. We can't deny the
(10:15):
fact that there's a something physical happening, but be something
emotional happening, and we need to protect our health, both
physically and emotionally. In order to do so, honesty is
always going to be the best policy. Now, this episode
of Life as a Gringo is brought to you by
Healthy Sexual from Gilead Sciences. And with that said, thank
y'all so much for tuning in, and I'll catch you
(10:37):
next time. Worse. Life as a Gringo is a production
of the micro Thura podcast Network and iHeartRadio
Let me talk about talk. There we go, he said,
he lived life pas a ringo where you question when
you fit in every time you mingle, they say you
do this with not that, this life as a lingo. Yes, hello,
and welcome to ano episode of life as a Gringo.
I am dramas of course, and we are back with
(00:30):
another little mini bonus episode here, and like we did
with the last one, I want to continue this conversation
around sex, right, and you know the taboos that surround it.
And you know, again I've literally just tightened up a
little bit, as I said, the word sex, right, and
(00:52):
and so much of that is my programming, you know,
from being a kid that growing up in a Latino household. Right,
there's so many just conversations that didn't happen that then
make the idea of sex or even the word sex
feel a bit uncomfortable. Many of us don't have the
(01:15):
resources or don't have good resources to sort of build
our healthy relationship with sex. But also when we don't
talk about it, or we don't feel like we have
a trusted resource around it, it prevents us from sharing
our experiences and inevitably sharing our concerns, right. And that
can lead to the normalization of so many different things
(01:37):
that really are not healthy for us. So today we're
going to talk a bit about being able to have
a support system that allows us to sort of sift through,
you know, myths versus facts, and gives us a safe
space to maybe challenge certain cultural taboos, you know. And
then on the other side of it, aside from having
(01:57):
an outlet when it comes to maybe friends or loved
ones or family, whatever, it might be also being able
to have conversations with your partners. Right, with all that
in mind, let's get into our Mihente segment. Now. I
(02:20):
know I touched on this a bit in the previous episode,
but I think it's something really important to reiterate, you know,
because many of us, myself included, didn't have trusted resources
to have these conversations, you know, around around sex. You know,
for many of us growing up in the households that
(02:42):
we did, I'm sure there was a fear of being punished, right,
or that your family wouldn't understand or would shun you
for having premarital sex, depending on how strict or religious
of a household you grew up in. And I think
in general, I don't you know, want to paint with
too much of a broad brush here, But I feel
like I've spoken to enough people and had enough experiences
(03:05):
from those in our community, you know, who have co
signed a shared experience of you know, our parents were
oftentimes incredibly tough on us in you know, the Latin community,
and not any shade to them, it's obviously they wanted
nothing but the best for us and to protect us
and keep us safe. But as a result, I think
(03:28):
there wasn't much opportunity for real dialogue around important things
or deep things, or feelings or vulnerability, and I would
include sex under that sort of umbrella. It was sort
of more of you're getting talked to rather than somebody
having a conversation with you. And that doesn't create an
environment where you feel like you can be open and
(03:51):
honest and vulnerable and ask questions, right, And then that
sort of leaves you to, Okay, I can't have the
conversations at home, you know, around something as simple as protection. Right.
If I can't have that conversation at home, then I
have to find that information somewhere else, right, And generally
for many of us, then it's like your friends, your
peer group, right, and even with that, I personally, as
(04:13):
a young man, didn't feel like I had, you know,
a competent or open peer group. I feel like my
friends were trying to figure it out just like I was.
And I think much of the ego and toxic masculinity,
if you will, of you know, growing up as a
(04:33):
young man, nobody wanted to admit that they didn't know
what they were doing. So even if even if you
know you're all sharing in the same question or concern,
people are going to bs and make stuff up and
pretend like they know right and then as a result,
you're getting the wrong information. You know, so we're kind
of like you know, compiling you know, cultural taboos, and
(04:57):
then you package that with as you know, kids, teens,
young adults growing up, nobody's really conditioned to have these
open and honest conversations around the idea of sex. So
you're really hindering yourself from getting the right information, which
(05:17):
then can lead you to having a positive and healthy
sex life. And the culmination of that, what I've learned
as an adult shows up in the form of your
partners when you begin to get into relationships and without
this ability to have these quote unquote tough conversations, you
(05:38):
are potentially putting yourself in a position to risk your health. Right.
I've had plenty of instances where I didn't necessarily feel
incredibly comfortable talking about, you know, concerns with a partner.
I can remember, you know, having experiences where my partner
(06:00):
was offended that I wanted to practice safe sex, you know.
And there are so many things, you know, we get
put in these positions where we find ourselves in these
positions where if we don't have the ability to advocate
for ourselves, we could potentially be putting ourselves in a
bad situation, right, or one that could could harm us.
(06:21):
And the last thing I want to touch on is
the idea of normalizing getting tested regularly, because I think
this has so much stigma. And I know for a
fact that a in my household, this was never even
a conversation because I think there is a stigma that
if you are somebody who needs an STD test, you
(06:42):
are automatically like you belong to the streets, you're dirty,
or whatever it is. Right, And again, I think even
in my peer group as guys growing up, nobody talked
about getting tested until they had a fear that maybe
they got something. And the reality is is, like we
have to normalize the idea of getting tested directly. It's
(07:03):
the only way if you are a sexually active adult,
you know, it's the only way to protect yourself and
others and to be on top of things, you know,
and to be proactive in taking your health seriously. And
that lends itself to the idea of of safe sex
(07:23):
right and contraception options. I mean, I give you that example,
you know before of somebody thinking that, you know, because
I asked because I want to use a condom with her,
that I was insinuating that she was, you know, dirty,
or something like that. Like that's, you know, some sort
of unhealthy mindset that somebody picked up along the way
(07:44):
that leads them to not protecting themselves right and things
like birth control, you know, and even that, like I've
you know, I don't have children, and I'm not a woman,
so I can't speak to this, but I've heard plenty
of experiences from women in our community where they talk
about wanting to have gone on birth control and that
it became this whole big thing amongst their parents. You know,
(08:08):
if they wanted to go on birth control when they
were in high school whatever it was, because the assumption
is you're doing this just so you can go out
there and have sex and all these and like again,
this like demonization of the idea of sex. We've been
trained in society. The stigmatization of it all bleeds into
our mind and at times our ability to even do
(08:30):
what's best for ourselves. That embarrassment that comes up almost
you know, as a result of the lack of conversation
or the plethora of negative and borderline traumatizing conversations. So yeah,
that's that's that's my two sents on this topic right now.
(08:51):
As far as the idea of communicating and being able
to have open and honest conversations around sex that say,
it's time of thing we talked about today at Little
Bow in a segment called Conclusion Stew Conclusion. So, I mean,
(09:12):
I've said this a bunch, whether it was this episode
of the last one, the idea that so many of
us don't have a real support system or anability to
have open dialogue around sex. The reality is we need
to build support systems in our life, and that means having,
you know, a group of people, and it could be
(09:32):
a small group of people in fact, it should be
where we can share our experiences, where we can learn
from others, and we can grow in in having those conversations.
You know, we're talking about our actual health here right,
you know, genuinely are both physical and emotional health. And
the people that you are choosing to have sex with,
(09:54):
you know, your partners in this. All that we've talked
about sort of culminates in you having the ability to
have open and honest conversations with them, because you have
to be able to talk about your boundaries, and you
have to be able to talk about safe sex practices
and not feel weird about it, no matter how casual
of an experience it might be. We can't deny the
(10:15):
fact that there's a something physical happening, but be something
emotional happening, and we need to protect our health, both
physically and emotionally. In order to do so, honesty is
always going to be the best policy. Now, this episode
of Life as a Gringo is brought to you by
Healthy Sexual from Gilead Sciences. And with that said, thank
y'all so much for tuning in, and I'll catch you
(10:37):
next time. Worse. Life as a Gringo is a production
of the micro Thura podcast Network and iHeartRadio
Host
DJ Dramos
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