May 9, 2024 • 52 mins
Neal Brennan joins Chelsea to talk about resetting his brain with Ayahuasca and 5-MeO-DMT, whether or not all comedians are clinically depressed, and what it’s like to be the friend of the funny guy. Then: A girlfriend finds some disturbing threads saved on her boyfriend’s computer. A 90-day fiance situation gets rocky when a work-wife enters the chat. And a Gen-Z caller can’t stop her flings from falling in love with her, even though she’s just trying to get laid.
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Check out Blocks with Neal Breannan
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Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at DearChelseaPodcast@gmail.com
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Executive Producer Catherine Law
Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello. This is Chelsea hand Job calling.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Hi Chelsea, this is Catherine. Where's Doug today?
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Doug, it took a big shadoo bey on the carpet
at my new house, the carpet that I haven't even
used yet, really, so he peed on it the other day.
But today this is actually a victory story because I
walked out of the house and then Doug was so
upset he went and shodo being on the rug right
as and my bell was yelling at him to stop,
(00:26):
and he continued and then lifted his leg up and
peede looking at her in the eyes.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
It is a complete reversal of fortunes from when I
had Burt. This is going great. I fucking love Doug.
Doug loves me, he wants to be with me. He
gets upset when I leave. Everything is working out perfectly.
I just announced a bunch of dates for my stand up.
So first of all, there are still tickets left for
(00:53):
the Netflix is a Joke Festival Saturday night on May eleventh.
I will be there at the YouTube Theater, so there
are still tickets for that. And then I'm going to
New Zealand and Australia, so you can find your tickets
for that, and then I'm going to Hawaii. I have
two shows in Hawaii on July nineteenth and July twentieth,
Maui and Oahu. And then I added twenty two more dates.
(01:13):
I have the Santa Barbara Bowl. I added twenty two
more cities. So they're Saratoga, California, Portland, Maine, Connecticut, South Carolina, Indianapolis,
Saint Louis, Kansas City, Philadelphia, Dallas, Austin, Montclair, New Jersey.
I will be taping my specials San Diego, New Orleans, Atlanta,
all the places I'm going. I have one date in Hollywood, Florida.
(01:35):
One show in Hollywood, Florida. If you want to see
me in Florida, that's your opportunity. It's July twenty eighth. Okay,
well those are all my dates, guys.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Excellent, Well, Chelsea, we have an exciting guest today.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
I know he's a straight white male. Guys, so you
know that he's okay, you better behave himself. Actually, otherwise
he's going to go to jail.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
We love to prioritize straight white males.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Now, we don't have a lot of straight white male
guests on the show, but sometimes we do, and today
is one of those days.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
There are some kind of tricky questions for him.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Oh good. In fact, I like to put a straight
man on the hot seat. Please welcome Neil Brennan. Hi,
Neil Brennan, what Hi?
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Hi?
Speaker 1 (02:17):
First of all, congrats on your your latest special. How
many specials have you had?
Speaker 3 (02:21):
I've had three and a half. I had to do
a half hour for some reason after my first. It
was it was stupid three and a half hours.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
You had to do a half hours. Oh that's degrading.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
But I had already done and it was stupid.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Neil Brennan has a new special on Netflix called Crazy Good.
It just came out. It's fucking funny. Catherine and I
both watched it. Neil Brennan is one of the funniest
comics out there, so if you're not familiar with him,
you should. He's drinking a bottle of Mountain Spring flat
water from what I can.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
Tell, sparkling, sparkling, thank you.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Oh the red one is okay, all right, that's better.
That's at least better, thank you. And he also has
a podcast called Blocks, which rhymes with well cough. It
rhymes with but Neil, I didn't realize how much you
struggled with depression your whole life.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
Really, you couldn't just tell.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Well, I think you know what, All male comics strike me.
Not all, I shouldn't say all, but most male comics
strike me as slightly depressed. So it becomes part of
the package, you know, like being around comics. I mean,
I think most comics are slightly depressed. It's not even
just men.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
I'm curious as to what your estimation of female comics
is because I think I kind of agree with you
about males. But I'm wondering. I'm like, how would I
categorize female comic? Is it like people pleasing or something?
Speaker 1 (03:39):
No, I think I mean, I'm thinking right now about
probably a lot of people we have in common, and
a couple of the girls have light depression, but generally
as an overall sentiment, I don't find female comics depressed
in the way that I do find male comics depressed.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
I agree, but I'm wondering, what would you How would
you categorize them? Anxious?
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Maybe anxious? I don't want to say people pleaser, because
I find most comics are actually female comics these days
are not people pleasers. They're more like fuck off, Like
we've been through enough so just everyone could go fuck themselves.
Is that that's more of an overarching theme and attitude
among women. So I don't know what the drive for
(04:21):
women is. It's an interesting Yeah, is it.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
Like maybe like frustrate anger, like generalized anger and frustration
about the way society is set up and the way Yeah,
the sexism of nature. I'm now thinking about how sexist
nature is, just with like periods and just all the
stuff you guys have to go through that we kind
of don't. It would make me insane if I had
(04:43):
to do it.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Yeah, women do have to deal with a lot of bullshit,
but you're also so inured to it that it becomes
like a period having to like constantly prove yourself or
with that a woman is funny or that a woman
is successful. I think the thing that irks women the
most is the lack of respect that we get from men,
and especially male comics to female comics. There's that dynamic
(05:06):
for sure. Like I was at an event recently and
I was watching a very famous comedian do her thing,
and I was watching the male comedians watch her, and
they had no respect for her.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Well, what's funny is I have Like I was going
to start by saying how much respect I have for you,
because it's you know when you like first hear about
somebody and I'd heard you'd written a book. It was
like seven o eight. I'd heard you written a book
and that the book was selling well. And then I
saw you crush and then you then you were on
(05:37):
e crushing for ten years or whatever, and just like
you just crush and you You're a huge draw and
you have millions of fans, like I feel like I've
seen them. I went and saw you at Comedy Magic
just I think, just you one time, like I'm an
ally is what I'm trying to say.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
I was like with you, no, let me preface this myself, but.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
I didn't even but I agree with you, like I
I agree with you that it is like because I
feel like in some ways, everybody feels like an underdog.
I think everybody show feels like an underdog. I feel
like I was for a long time like Dave's plus one,
David Chappelle's plus one, like we were the show together
and then I was like pretending to do stand up
and then slowly but surely it was like, oh, oh,
(06:27):
so I feel like I was able to earn not
like I earned it as if I was a woman.
But I earned this in a different way than everybody
has to earn it. But I feel like mine took
a long time and it was sort of public in
a weird way.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
So, but I also think earning things sometimes it takes longer.
You're not the front and center person. You're kind of
out of an attachment to somebody else, which kind of
countibults you into the spotlight in a different way. Can
feel not like what you want at the beginning, but
when you have achieved the success that you've had and
earning it feels right, doesn't it. Like working that hard
(07:03):
and hustling that hard feels good.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Yeah, because you look back on the things that you
were like I should have gotten that, and then you
it's like I didn't realize how good I would have
to be before people go okay, fine, yeah, it's like I,
how hard do you need me to throw the ball?
And they were just like harder. We don't know why, right,
oh it harder. And I'd be like all right here
(07:26):
and then they'd be like, okay, you're good. But it
took so from my point of be mind bendingly long
to get there. So yeah, but you're right, it is
more satisfying than I never felt like I was grandfather did,
but everybody else felt like I was grandfather. And I'm like,
I wrote the jokes and directed the sketches, like you
know what I mean. Like it wasn't like everybody thought
(07:48):
I didn't do anything, So it was it's nice to
go like, okay, here, I am see this by myself. Finally,
like Okay, you're funny.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
I can relate to what you're saying a great deal
because I also find out, like even when you are successful,
which I've been successful for so many years since I was,
you know, in my probably late twenties, early thirties, and
there were periods in my life where I had to
prove and reprove the same shit I had already been
successful at. And you're like, oh my god, are you
fucking kidding me? Like I remember taking a break from
(08:21):
stand up for six years after my Elsey Lately show.
I just was so burned out on every level. I'm like,
I'm not doing stand up. I can't do this anymore.
I have nothing to say. And then when I went
back to it six years later, like I understood, Okay,
you're not gonna be playing Arenas or what you were
playing before. You have to rebuild that. But even my
agents were like, what are you gonna do. I'm like,
I'm gonna do stand up. That's how I started. And
(08:43):
they're like, but what's it gonna be? What's it gonna
be about? We don't get the show. I'm like, what what?
And then I finally just had to ignore them and
literally put my head down and go, Okay, I'll fucking
show them what I'm gonna do. And I ended up
selling that you know special to HBO Max when I
came back on the scene in comedy, which was like
three specials go. But it was very frustrating to have
to reprove the reason why you became successful in the
(09:04):
first place.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
Yeah, it's embarrassing, but the good news is, I think
it kind of happens to everybody. Yeah, I really do,
Like I think every I think even I won't name guys,
but where you're like, hm, I don't know. I think
it's maybe it's worse for women, but I think it's
certainly exists for guys, and it's a terrible business for
(09:27):
everyone involved.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
I didn't realize you went to Catholic school. I thought, Neil,
I thought you were a Jew.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
I know. Well, the thing I say is, I'm not Jewish.
I just have.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
Allergies, and you look a little Jewish, And no, of
course I'm a Jew. So I know a Jew when
I see one.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
You see like, apparently I have some of the features
and the good joke writing. So yeah, but I went
to Catholic school for twelve years.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Yeah, well that'll fuck anybody up. But I was really
really curious to learn about all of the shit that
you've had to try to help your depression. And I
want to talk about all of this stuff and what
your reactions to all of this. TMS HGH gave you
panic attacks, ketamine, aahuasca, and DMT, and then you flew
to China to do intense TMS.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
So yes, I don't this was not just this sounds
like I was just spinning a wheel and be like
fuck it TMS again. It was a progression from just
the basic therapy medication. Kind of hit a wall. I'd
Zoloft help for about ten years, kind of hit a
wall and then heard about TMS.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Well, waitit, let's define what TMS is. Can you tell?
Speaker 3 (10:37):
Okay, yes, I will. TMS is called transcranial magnetic stimulation.
It is a basically, it's kind of an MRI plate
or helmet like sort of wand that they kind of
put over your part of your head and then they
fire an MRI beam and it's like sounds. It feels
(11:00):
like a low energy woodpecker and it doesn't feel bad.
We just kind of like this is odd and it
works for people, and it worked for me.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
And what is it supposed to do. It's designed to
stimulate something.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
It activates the electricity of brain cells, is my understanding.
I could be missed.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
I could be completely misinformed.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
Yes, I know the word stimulation is in the title.
So let's say it stimulates some neurons to get back
to work, so to speak.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
And why did you go to China for this?
Speaker 3 (11:33):
Well? Okay, so I did TMS probably ten years ago
in West La. I think it was about forty sessions.
It's like three days, four days a week and it's
a half hour you sit there watch TV. And then
that it worked for a while, and then I just
after maybe six years, I felt like I needed a
tune up now. Concurrently, there was a guy booking a
(11:57):
show in Shanghai that THEO Vaughn had done, so I
was like, I'll do a show and Shang I, the
guy who runs the show, has a brother that's a
neurosurgeon in China has a better unregulated TMS while you're here.
Do you want to do it? I was like, I
only want to do it. I don't even care about
the show in China. It was basically like five weeks
(12:19):
of TMS in one week. They because it's it's a
free for all, worked pretty good.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
And then the TMS. I think you mean it worked
pretty well? Know the TMS really is it like a moodlifter.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
It's none of it. It's like a moodlifter. It's not nothing's
like cocainey or like you know mdmash where it's like boying.
It's more just like the floor comes up a little bit,
you know what I mean, in your mood. And that's
how what I found with all this stuff. Zoloft was big.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
What about the ketamine, Well.
Speaker 3 (12:48):
Ketamine I didn't like it. See I've had like part
twos with all these things. First time I did Keademy,
it was like nine years ago, didn't work, didn't like it,
found the experience of it sort of like a goofy
drug expers no long term positive effects. And then the
big one for me was ayahuasca. Oh, which you did.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Once, right, yeah, twice and two in two days. I
didn't see you're right?
Speaker 3 (13:13):
So yeah. So in twenty twenty, somebody sent me an
article about ayahuasca and they're like, we got to do this.
I then get a hookup, we do it, and it
was like good. It was like, oh, this is good
in a way I can't really it was. It felt
like sort of connected, you know. And in order to
do it you have to go off Zoloft. So I'd
(13:34):
gone off Zoloft and was doing it, and then I
did it again and I basically had my third time.
I like woke up and I was like, oh, I'm
in the presence of God. I believe right now. I
was an atheist before that, so I was like, oh,
I have now I have a spiritual connection. And I
(13:55):
just felt different, like I felt like the neurons in
my brain had sort of been updated or changed in
some way. And then I haven't gone back on zela.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Oh well that's a huge success story then And how
long ago was that?
Speaker 3 (14:08):
Four years ago?
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Wow?
Speaker 1 (14:10):
I fucking love that story. Where did you do that
in La?
Speaker 3 (14:13):
Yeah? Near six Flags? Thanks fr asking perfect?
Speaker 1 (14:16):
I love six Flags? What a safe environment for you?
Speaker 3 (14:19):
What wonderful? The screaming? Yeah, so so that was that's
been great. And then I did five MEO DMT.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
I did that too, and I ended up naked because
I had to rip my clothes off. That's how bad
I was. It was the worst experience I've ever had
with the drug. Was five dm EOT a.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
Different experience where I just had the basic you inhales?
Did we explain it? It's basically a toad secretion that
they dry and they scrape it, put it in a
pipe and you smoke it and you get you go
to Where did you go when you Inhale? Where did
you go?
Speaker 1 (14:57):
Great question? I went to the darkest. I'm a positive, upbeat,
typically upbeat person. I'm a pragmatist. I don't really get upset.
I mean I get upset, but I don't get depressed.
I don't struggle with what we're talking about. That was
the darkest I've ever felt in my life. I didn't
prepare for it, you know, like I didn't cleanse. I
kind of did it off the cuff. Somebody was doing it.
(15:19):
I'm like, I'll try that. So that was stupid too.
But I've never met a drug I didn't get along
with great, So I was like, yeah, let's go face first.
And it was miserable. It was dark and it was death.
It felt like death, Like I was excited. I was
told it was an ego killer, you know, and I
love that. I love the idea of not having your
ego in theory in the mix. Well, yeah, I would
(15:39):
like to get rid of it permanently. I mean, I'm
sure I wouldn't be in this business, but i'd have
to do something else. But yeah, it felt so ominous.
The whole thing was just so dark, and I couldn't.
I said, please make this stop, make it stop, make
it stop. And five minutes later I was covered in
my own sweat, in my bron underwear, sitting with some
naked woman who was comforting me. I mean, I mean
the woman who administered or helped me smoke it, who
(16:01):
was comforting me. And I was like, this was awful
and I don't ever need to do this again. So
tell me about your experience.
Speaker 3 (16:06):
Well, Chelsea, I went to what another person described, Michael Polland,
who wrote a book called How to Change Her Mind.
He described smoking DMT, and he went to the same
place that I went to, which is before the Big Bang. Insane.
It was insane. I told somebody I was aiming for God,
(16:27):
and I missed my stop. I went past everything, and then,
but at last, about thirty five minutes, I was I
was in a white void. I didn't know what breathing was,
I didn't know what direction left right up. I didn't
have any sense of anything, and with the ego death
thing I've never experienced, because I was some version of myself,
(16:52):
meaning like I was some I had a point of view,
and my point of view was I have no idea
what's happening? And I I felt like I was feeling
my first neuron form, like I felt like the original
person of human life, not a person. We're millions away.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
Wave man, even on your feet.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
Further, we're talking about molecule.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
I was a mom okay, okay, wow wow.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
Yes it was wild. And then slowly but surely, my
sort of human consciousness came back into me over about
thirty five minutes to the point where like pettiness would
come back in and I was like, no, we're not
doing that anymore. Like I was trying to like rebuild.
So it was like, you know, I inhaled at eight,
I was walking home at nine. I was in New York,
(17:45):
and uh, that was fine. Right a week later, I
have what's called a reactivation, like a flashback. So now
it was. It was a Sunday in New York. I
went and met a woman for coffee, and I was
on a coffee date, and half of me was before
the big bang, like visually, and I had the two
(18:09):
or three most harrowing days of my life. I didn't know.
At one point, I go, am I in God's imagination?
Just shit, you're not supposed to think at all. But
I got a half a percent better every day, and
after about eight months, I was a better version of
myself than I've ever been.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Wow, that's a good that's a positive story, I know,
but it's scary scary also.
Speaker 3 (18:35):
And talk about earning it, like got the I got
the transformation, but like I had to work for every
inch of it.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
Sounds like it. Did you feel like you had your
ego with ayahuasca that feels like an ego killer as well.
Speaker 3 (18:51):
I don't the thing about the ego seeing this as
ego or not. I think my experiences were it's always
going to be from my point of view. I've never
had an experience where it wasn't a first person whether
I'm a molecule or I don't think that.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
I don't think that's what I mean by saying. If
it like, it can still be your perspective. But you are,
like I remember Ayahuasca, I was like I was. I
was the spirit of me rather than the physical me,
you know, the spirit of me looking at the spirit
of my sister, looking at the spirit of the situation,
looking at everything from above, and I'm I'm me, But
I'm not attached to me and my ego. I'm attached
(19:28):
to the natural good outcome of the situation.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
Yeah, I would. I would say that the thing that
I've gotten from it is my values are sort of
better overall, like my ethics or like what I crave.
There's more to the story also. So then so that's
like twenty twenty one, right, then this year they're about
the last calendar year, twenty twenty three, twenty twenty four.
(19:54):
I've done MDMA every maybe three months in like a
not party setting, and uh, I've gotten so much from it,
like real growth, I think, like real recategorization of like
how I am in my in my essence kind of
(20:14):
like it's really awesome. The clearest example I can give
is like there was one maybe last August, where I
did it and I was able to forgive all my
many enemies. Chelsea. I'm Irish, Catholic, you know, grudge and
a little Jewish with a Jewish rising and and we
(20:40):
and I was able to forgive all my enemies. And
then the next I was like, why was I so
able to do that? Like a A I'm like, I
love holding a grudge. And I realized because I finally
had some oxytose and dopamine and serotonin in my brain
instead of just cortisol and adrenaline all day. And I realize, like, oh,
(21:01):
I need to stop paying attention to the cortisol. Like
what I think is my personality is basically just me
going like cortisol, cortisol, cortisol, cortisol, and and ignoring that
sort of part of my brain that rites that shit
and just going like you're out of your mind. And
(21:21):
I've been able to kind of do it. It was
a thing I couldn't. I had no mastery over whatsoever.
And now I actually have some and I legitimately believe
it's because of the aahuasca DMT.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
And yeah, no, all those drugs are good things, you know.
I think everyone's realizing that now, especially are you sober?
Speaker 3 (21:42):
Like basically like I couldn't tell you the last time
I had a drink, but I don't.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
It's not like a thing, right, You're not interested? Okay?
So are you? Do? You think you're good at giving advice?
Speaker 3 (21:53):
Neil, I love it. Whether it's good or not. It's
a whole lot of one.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
That's exactly what we're going to find out. We're going
to find that out today.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
I'm no what all's no.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Perfect Okay, So we are going to take a break
and we're going to be right back.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
If you need advice from Chelsea, right into Dear Chelsea
Podcast at gmail dot com. You can ask about your
biggest dating conundrums, the cheating scandal that's rocking your friend group,
the funniest marital disagreements you need Chelsea to weigh in on,
or anything else that's Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot
com and we're back. We are back. Are you ready
(22:29):
to lunch?
Speaker 3 (22:30):
Ready?
Speaker 1 (22:30):
Nail's ready, I'm fucking ready. You're ready, Ayahuasca's ready? By dat.
We should do a episode where we're all on MDMA.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
That sounds that I'm doing.
Speaker 3 (22:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
Well, our first question comes from Katie and she's in
New York. My boyfriend and I have been together for
about three years, and I've always been really right there.
He is like three or four years older than her,
but I've always been really frank with him that I'm
not okay with him using porn. I think it's super
demeaning and generally ruins your sex. I thought catching him
(23:01):
in the act with porn would be the worst thing
that could happen. Turns out I was wrong. While using
his computer to do some research for work, I stumbled
across some Reddit threads he had bookmarked. I promise I
wasn't snooping Chelsea. The trail led me to threads about
a certain barely legal teenage actress who starred in Let's Say,
a popular Netflix show starring children. The thread showed all
(23:22):
kinds of red carpet and paparazzi photos of the actress,
who had been a mere child in the show we'd
just watched. In compromising photos think close ups on cameltoe, wardrobe,
malfunctions at the beach, etc. Just a woman living her
life being taken advantage of, and my boyfriend was googling it.
The whole thing felt very non consensual. I was disgusted,
(23:43):
even though the pictures generally seemed to be on the
recent end of things, so she would be legal. But
who's to tell. My problem is, I'm absolutely sure he's
the one. Does this mean he's sexually attracted to kids?
Speaker 1 (23:55):
Yes, yes it does. We'll gonna talk to Neil in
a second about it, but I'm pretty sure it does.
Speaker 3 (23:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
Instead, I be scared to bring him around my teenage nieces.
Will he be attracted to me as I age? Most importantly,
is this a deal breaker? Katie?
Speaker 1 (24:08):
Let's talk about porn? Neil, you're a straight mail tell
us what the deal is?
Speaker 3 (24:12):
I think, well, I have a lot of thoughts about it.
One of them is, guys, don't realize that it's science fiction.
It's not real. It's as real as the best analogy is.
It's as real as fast and Furious is to driving.
(24:33):
It's like, yeah, you're not driving off of buildings onto
aircraft carriage. It's stupid. Most porn it's just dumb and cartoonish,
and women just are not like that. Like occasionally, I
think women are a little bit like that, like sporty
like let that, ah whatever, but I think most women
(24:53):
actually want a connection.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
Yeah, okay, so we've got the porn figured out sort of,
But what do you have to say about younger because
this is important And she used the word non consensual.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
Because it's sort of like creepy picture has taken while
this woman was not aware of.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
But that's yes, But she's a public person, so she's
gonna get pictures taken of her. But the other thing
is younger women. Okay, Neil, let's talk about men and
younger women. What are your thoughts on this guy looking
at pictures of a girl that's hardly legal, and what
does that make you think about him.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
I've never had a predilection for a younger one. I
always dated older women. Whatever. Again, I'm an ally.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
And there's nothing that's me and there's nothing we can
do about it.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
No. I love menopause and I always will, so I
think it's some of its kind of gross if you
get into like peak human fertility. If you go deeper
and deeper and deeper, it's like a guy, we're attracted
to fertility, and women are attracted to guys with big
shoulders and jaws and foreheads and providers and all that stuff.
(25:54):
If you get into the reality of it, it's pretty gross, right, So,
but obviously there are laws for a reason because you're praying. Basically, yes,
it's obviously gross and like troubling, but I also understand
it from an evolutionary thing.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
Yeah, I know what you're saying. I just think, like,
I don't know, there's a lot of guys out there
that wouldn't be interested in looking at a girl that age,
do you know what I mean? There are men that
are more but sure than that, that that are like
that doesn't turn me on because they know enough now
to understand that a woman at that age is not
mature enough to understand you're not on a level even
(26:37):
playing field. I don't care if anybody watches porn whatever,
whatever floats your boat. But when you're talking about younger
girls and you has a Reddit thing and he's following,
like what looking at pictures of her camel tooe, Like
all of that is just so gross, creepy. It's all creepy.
It's off limits, like there's a power dynamic. And it's
also you're creeping, like well, creeping on anyone is icky.
(26:57):
It's the creeping. It's the ass up, like I don't
want to look. It's a picture of someone's cameltoe on
the beach.
Speaker 3 (27:02):
Why.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
Yes, So when she's saying this is the one, it's like,
is it is it the one? Because it sounds like
you already believe that. So nothing I'm gonna say is
gonna change your mind. But I would say, ew, he
sounds gross.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
Yes, I totally agree either, So of course I mean
an a So you know what I'm gonna say, guys,
but I think in some ways most guy sexual predilections
are gross just by the fact that it's coming from
a guy. Yeah, it's gonna be great. It's a McDonald's.
(27:34):
You can took Kobe Beef on it, it's still McDonald
it's still gross. So you know, it's like, what should
a guy like? And then what you'll describe as something
akin to you, you know what I mean, like a
woman who's been successful and did whatever, like a professional
data because I think because I'm sure there are things
(27:54):
or types of guys you like that you're not that
proud of, or it's not the greatest thing you've ever liked,
or sexual scenarios that you're like, I wish I didn't
like that, but I do, and it's porn as sort
of a safe way to act out.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
Let me ask you a question from a male perspective.
If you had a girlfriend and you found her doing
what this woman is describing. She found Shay she was
looking at pictures of some underage actor. Who's a good
underage actor. I want to say Timothy Shallamy.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
But he's Ben Wolfard was one with all these like
fifty year old moms were like getting tattoos of his
face when he was eleven and being like he's so hot.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
Like if you found air your girlfriend looking at pictures
of a young celebrity that was not eighteen years old,
how would you react and how would that make you feel?
Speaker 3 (28:42):
This is like that movie where Matthew McConaughey gives a
big speech in court at the end and changes the
whole point of like what.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
A time to kill That was a time to kill Miquel.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
It's a time to kill. I would think she's a
little bananas what Like.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
I wouldn't if I if I saw a guy looking
at a young girl like, I would be done. I'm
not interested in that. I don't like that.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
No, if I knew what, yeah, yeah, you're you're once,
I'm like, Yeah, if I if I was dating a
woman who liked looking at underage dick Prince, I'd be like,
you know what, I think we've done everything we can here.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
Yeah, it feels like a deal breaker. That's her name, Katie, Katie.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
I'm sorry. I know you think this is the one
and you probably will marry him and you won't listen
to me. But I would say, honestly, that's a big
red flag, a big red Reddit flag.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Does this mean he's into kids? Maybe not? But do
you want to be the one to find out?
Speaker 3 (29:33):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (29:33):
Exactly. It's like, there are many people in the world.
Everyone needs to stop talking about the one. There are
millions of ones. Just find someone else.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
It's not that hard find a better one.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
And when you find a better one, you're like, I
have a great one, and I'm like, I'm so glad
I waited.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 3 (29:52):
Once you find you're like, oh yeah, I knew that
I could get like a suit that fit better. You
know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
It's so profound, Neil, you're like a profit. You're like
an ally profit.
Speaker 3 (30:02):
I do a lot of things apart a lot of
profit works.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
Yes, well, our next question comes from Dylan. She writes,
Dear Chelsea, I met my husband in September twenty twenty
one and married him six months later, super quick. I
know I was single for eight years prior to meeting him,
and I knew that he was here on a student
visa to get his masters, but I didn't know the
(30:27):
deadline was quickly approaching. At that point. He offered me
three options. One, we could continue dating while he married
another woman strictly as a platonic business agreement. Two, we
could break up so he could pursue another woman who
was ready to get married on the spot. Three, we
could marry each other. I was so new to being
back in the dating world and had really strong feelings
(30:47):
for him, and I couldn't imagine losing him. At that point.
I decided to say fuck it and went on to
have a courthouse marriage. I continuously question if I made
the right decision. I know he's in love with me,
but I'm not sure if he's just using me for citizenship.
One thing is he works a remote job. He was
introduced virtually to a female coworker who soon left the company.
They've kept in touch for over a year now. They
(31:09):
text almost every day and have scheduled calls that last
over an hour. Sometimes these include video chats. She cries
to him about her work troubles and personal life, and
even sends postcards from the different states she visits, postcards
what year are we living in? I'm never privy to
these calls. He secludes himself in the room with the
door closed. I didn't honestly care about this weird friendship
until we recently had a pretty big fight. When we
(31:31):
made up, he let a slip that he had planned
on visiting her if we were actually to separate. This
set off alarm bells for me. Should I have voiced
my opinion about their friendship or am I being dramatic?
Speaker 1 (31:40):
Dylan, Hi, Dylan, Hi, guys, this is Neil Brennan. He's
our special ghost today.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
Hey, good to meet you.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
We wanted you to have advice from a straight male
and straight females.
Speaker 4 (31:52):
Ooh, Okay, this is new.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
Honestly, that really sucks, and I would probably I think
that that something probably is happening that you don't know
about and leading to that, Like it's all very shady
and it's pretty obvious, like you shouldn't. Nobody has carries
on those relationships with people unless there aren't like emotional feelings,
you know what I mean. This isn't some friend he's
(32:15):
had since childhood. This is a woman he met at
his job who's he's carving out special time to have
video chats with her, like he clearly has feelings for.
Speaker 2 (32:23):
Her, or like she's a backup you know.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
Yeah, Neil, what do you have to say?
Speaker 3 (32:28):
I would agree wholeheartedly. Like I again, not to be
the very bad news, but there's no point in who's
got that much bandwidth for like a romantic relationship and
then like a platonic plus relationship. Also that like work
wife thing. It's like when I when people started saying
(32:52):
where I'm like, this's the person you're gonna fuck when
you guys break up. It's not your work wife, it's
like your miss. It's your open miss. You're my future mistress.
So it'll be hard. But I think you have to
accept the fact that it might not be what you
wanted to be.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
Okay, have the two of them ever met in person
or it has been strictly virtual the whole time.
Speaker 3 (33:14):
Just virtual?
Speaker 2 (33:14):
Okay, it's just weird.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
And it's also like your your alarm bells were already
going off and then you had a fight and he
kind of delivered the information that should be the end
of the relationship, like he was going to go visit
her if you guys didn't get back together. That's kind
of your answer.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
The relationship with the work wife, or the relationship.
Speaker 1 (33:33):
With Dylan, the relationship with the work the work wife,
Like he was going to go visit that girl, right,
he told you that when you guys got in this fight,
So like that's your answer. And I feel like I
think the one the biggest disservice women due to ourselves
is not listening to the warnings. You know, don't let
him talk you into whatever it's. His behavior demonstrates it
(33:56):
all by itself. You don't need to have any conversations
around it. His behavior, your scheduling calls, scheduling zooms or
facetimes or whatever they're up to. It's all just that's
all the information you need and it does suck, but
I think you don't want to ever learn this lesson again, right, right,
So if you can just get out of this relationship,
do you feel like you have that, like you're ready
(34:18):
to get out of this relationship. Not at the moment.
Speaker 4 (34:21):
It's not really a good time for that. Just like
personally between the two of us, we just signed a
new lease on a house, so we're moving again, and.
Speaker 3 (34:29):
It's a two year lease.
Speaker 4 (34:31):
So I don't know if I should go to him
with like a compromise because I don't really have guy
friends with that type of relationship, or if I should
just say, like, hey, like this just needs to end period.
There's nothing I need to do to make this better.
Speaker 1 (34:44):
I'm just going to say, even if you signed a
year lease, a two year lease with yes, you can
give him an ultimatum, but I'm sure that he's going
to continue talking to her behind your back. That's what
I would predict will happen. And I would also say,
and I know, I don't know what kind of financial
position you're in, but I would say the fact that
you signed a least with him for two years does
not mean you can't break up with him, Okay, you
(35:05):
have to figure out a way, like to say, listen,
I don't trust this situation. I want you to be
done with this woman. If he says yes, fine, no problem, fine,
and you want to give it a chance, go, I
would say, just get out of the situation. Don't waste
another two years of your life with somebody like this.
Speaker 3 (35:21):
I just yeah, you may have to buy your freedom,
but it'll be worth it.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
Yeah, and I know that doesn't sound good, but it
will be worth it. I would hate to see you
waste another two years of your life with somebody that
is like that.
Speaker 3 (35:33):
Yeah, there's no I think the I think good thing
that a lot of people do is talk yourself out
of what you know. I me like, no, And also,
I want to be a Relationships are hard work. They're
not that hard, you know what I mean, Like, they're
not they don't require that much grace and generosity on
(35:53):
your part, Like this is so far beyond the pale
to me. I'm with what Chelsea said, which is like,
try to get out of it.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
Yeah, I'm sorry. I hate to give you that kind
of answer. You know, we all do because it sucks.
But you decide what your value is. Like we all
kind of decide what we're going to tolerate and what
we're not. And I really think this is a moment
in your life where you have to decide what are
you worth to yourself? Okay?
Speaker 3 (36:18):
Yeah, all right?
Speaker 1 (36:21):
Yeah, and I and try not to let the financial
aspect of making a commitment. He can find another roommate
or find another go get that girl to move in
whatever I want you to free up and go meet
the person you're really supposed to be with.
Speaker 3 (36:34):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (36:35):
Yeah, you can lose the security deposit. You can make
that money again, but you can't get that time back.
Speaker 1 (36:39):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (36:40):
Yeah, and yeah, show yourself some respect.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
Yeah. Thanks, sending you a lot of love, honey.
Speaker 4 (36:46):
All right, I appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (36:47):
Thanks Dylan.
Speaker 3 (36:49):
Bye.
Speaker 1 (36:51):
We've had some bad news on this podcast today.
Speaker 3 (36:55):
It's not usually is.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
I mean, it's like doctor Phil, but.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
Not really breaking people up. Well, hopefully we can help Maria.
She's just trying to get late.
Speaker 3 (37:05):
So oh, I wouldn't I wouldn't bet on it.
Speaker 1 (37:08):
Well, Neil, you're just single. You can have sex with
her if she needs somebody to have sex with her.
Speaker 3 (37:12):
I'm not single. I have a lady. Oh, oh shit,
I said that I have a I have a lady
now and it's like a custom mates. It's awesome.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
Oh that's so nice that she's not a comedian.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
No, is this the one you went on the coffee
date with and went into another?
Speaker 3 (37:28):
Nope, nope, this woman's actually a therapist, it's all.
Speaker 1 (37:31):
It's his therapist.
Speaker 3 (37:32):
Actually, by a therapist, I mean my therapist. Yes, and
it was actually my couples therapists with my act kidding,
I kid, I kid, it's.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
Like Johnny deppan is divorce attorney, but a beautiful romance.
Speaker 2 (37:45):
Well, Maria is twenty three, so she's too young anyway.
Speaker 1 (37:48):
Yeah, you're not allowed to talk to her.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
She's three. I should go, so, she says, Dear Chelsea,
my name's Maria and I'm a twenty three year old
woman and I've lately been having issues navigating relationships. A
lot of my close friends and family are the old
ball and chain type, and after seeing that shit, no thanks.
I also grew up going to Catholic school, so casual
(38:10):
sex and dating was never really an option. However, since
I've moved to Chicago, I've realized that I just want
to be alone with myself and my dogs, Drew, Marrymore
and Potato. Plus, I just realized I'm a lesbian after
getting out of a three year relationship. Shout out to
Rene Wrap for that revelation. So I feel like I
have a lot of scissoring to catch up on.
Speaker 1 (38:27):
Oh m hm.
Speaker 2 (38:28):
This took a lot out of me and made me
realize at this point, I just want sex and attention.
I'm talking freer than a public restroom, and I honestly
don't know how to go about that. I flirt with
men for attention, and I've been super open with them
about that, but it always ends with them buying me
gifts and becoming possessive. And then with women, we'll sleep
together and then they get emotionally invested and social media
(38:50):
stock me. One even put an air tag on my car.
So my question is how do I set those boundaries
and tell people I don't want to be with them
in that way?
Speaker 1 (38:58):
Maria, Hi, Maria, Hi, this is our special guest Neil
Brennan today. Hi Maria, Hey, Well, good for you for
having so many options. I envy that. I think that
all these dating sites, you know, you can make it
very clear on Tinder, unhinge on all these things, all
these platforms, that you're not looking for anything serious and
(39:20):
that you are looking for casual fun encounters, and people
appreciate that honesty, and you're going to find people that
are also looking for the same thing. Just like front
load that information, you know what I mean, put that
up front and center. Because some people are also they
don't want to deal with the relationship aspect. They feel
the same way you do, so it's kind of like
a shortcut to meeting those But I would just say
(39:41):
to put your profile up on all of those things,
because tell that's what Tinder specially is for sex. I mean,
I feel like it right, it's not for dating, and
all these platforms are for sex, so it's I mean,
it's not a real problem. I don't think.
Speaker 3 (39:57):
Okay, okay, Maria, I have a question as a man,
you said you're flirting with men for attention, and then
are you taking all the all the sexual energy and
bringing it to women and then having sex with them
or are you do you sleep with the men sometimes?
Speaker 1 (40:13):
I sleep with the guys sometimes.
Speaker 3 (40:15):
I like and then they get what if they were
nineteen Chelsea, would you like her style? Then?
Speaker 1 (40:22):
There legal. I don't know anything about allyship at all.
Speaker 3 (40:30):
I'm a bad ally. I just remembered I directed half
of the first season of Amy Schumer, so that again
put another chip on the ally if I'm ever in trouble.
So okay, so and the guys are getting you tell
the guys that it's you like to keep it sexual,
and they're getting attached.
Speaker 1 (40:50):
Also, yeah, that's only because yeah, men are so you're
saying that, yes exactly, and they.
Speaker 3 (40:57):
Know that if you said I can't wait to see
you again, you would never see them exactly.
Speaker 1 (41:02):
That's actually a right tactic. You should just completely switch
tactics and say you're looking for a relationship and you
will get the opposite response.
Speaker 3 (41:08):
Yeah, and be like, whoops, I slept with you. Yeah,
and go up, I fucked you. I accidentally fucked you.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
And if you don't want to see that person again
after you fuck them, say I love you. Yeah, I
can't say it during sex. Say it during sex, and
you will never ever see that person again.
Speaker 2 (41:28):
Make eye contact.
Speaker 1 (41:29):
This is for the men only. And I don't know
what goes on in lesbian circles like I only I mean,
I only have lesbian friends. I have ever been operated
in a lesbian relationship. So, but yes, I would say
throw actually throw out everything I said and go with
what Neil said and just say you're looking for love,
and then you won't have any problems.
Speaker 3 (41:48):
Okay, okay, well yeah, do lesbian? I mean, I feel
like lesbians would be like I may. They might say,
I also love you, I'm getting to love you. Am
I wrong? Am I stereotyping?
Speaker 2 (41:59):
I think you're.
Speaker 1 (42:03):
I love that line. I'm going to use that line.
I'm getting to love you too. That's what I must
say the next time someone's.
Speaker 3 (42:14):
In that direction, I'm not there yet, they get into it.
I wonder how you could handle it with lesbian if
you said I'm not interested, would they take you? Would
they would they take your word for it? Are they
taking your word for it? And now?
Speaker 1 (42:28):
No?
Speaker 2 (42:28):
They they take it as a challenge.
Speaker 1 (42:30):
They're like, okay, so, like, what do I have to
do to make you like me again?
Speaker 3 (42:36):
Like?
Speaker 1 (42:37):
Why did it stop so annoying? It's just like you're
just trying to have some casual set.
Speaker 3 (42:41):
Yeah. Literally, I think we have a good plan for
the guys. I don't I feel unqualified to give you
directions for lesbians.
Speaker 2 (42:50):
I feel like you gotta like bang them and block
them like you got it, or be like, hey, your
friend's really cute. Can you introduce me to her?
Speaker 1 (42:56):
Like that's kind of a douchebag, Yeah, if you're a dick, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:01):
That makes sense.
Speaker 3 (43:02):
Yeah. And if that doesn't work, fake your own death.
Speaker 1 (43:05):
Have you thought about faking your own obviously?
Speaker 3 (43:08):
Like?
Speaker 1 (43:08):
Who has it? Okay, stay strong and I'm so happy
you're having so much sex. Good for you, thank you,
thank you. I'm Maria. But what city background was?
Speaker 2 (43:21):
She's in Chicago, and Chicago is the best city to
be young and queer in, especially for lesbians. It is
the best, is it? We have a whole neighborhood of
lesbians of lesbians. It's called Anderson Mill.
Speaker 1 (43:31):
That's oh, it should be called And you know what's.
Speaker 3 (43:33):
Funny is that you guys start reading the letter and
then you'll and then I paint a picture of them
in my head, and then you bring them on camera
like halfway through the letter. It should be part of
the show, like a game show, like what do you
think this person looks like? Yeah? And then they come
up and it's never what I'm over to.
Speaker 1 (43:52):
So far, we have to take a break, Neil on
that thoughtful interaction that we just had. We have to
take a break and we'll be right back. Okay, and
we're back.
Speaker 2 (44:06):
We are back.
Speaker 1 (44:07):
That was our break and we're back.
Speaker 2 (44:09):
Yes, we have a little quickie to wrap up with. Okay, great,
the email is slightly long, but.
Speaker 3 (44:14):
You know the I have a question. I have a
question about quickies real quick. When you say let's have
a quickie, right, as a woman, let's have a quickie,
do you expect that you'll have an orgasm or is
it just to get the sexual energy an orgasm?
Speaker 2 (44:33):
Okay, yeah, yeah, we want to come yeah, like five
minutes or less, like make it happen.
Speaker 3 (44:38):
Yeah, yeah, Look, I didn't love your tone. Didn't love
either of your tone. Understood, will do it. I have
a very mercenary approach to sex, which is like I
go in for you the pardoner, to have an orgasm,
and then once you're all set, then I go okay,
(44:59):
now it's my turn.
Speaker 2 (45:00):
Perfect.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
That's what most men should be doing. Yes, you go
in service your woman and then you can penetrate her.
Speaker 3 (45:06):
Yeah, and that's not even the that's not even that
well you're now you're saying, is the penetration wouldn't give
her an organ which as an ally, I know that
it often does. Well.
Speaker 1 (45:15):
I know from talking to people that you've had sex
with that you are not what you're doing doesn't result
in a lot of orgasms.
Speaker 3 (45:22):
You That is not true. That is I can't. I'm
thinking about the people you could.
Speaker 2 (45:30):
Have read a letter I was gonna say, Neil, I
was very pleased with your sex advice for guys.
Speaker 1 (45:36):
Also very very Yes, I actually was too. You were
paying attention and you were really listening, and that's a
good quality in a man.
Speaker 3 (45:43):
Thank you. Yeah, I thought it was, so it's great
to hear it.
Speaker 2 (45:47):
Nicky says dear Chelsea. I've been dating my boyfriend for
almost six years. We're in a very serious relationship, live together,
and are in the midst of preparing to get engaged
and build a life together. The only problem is that
he is a Republican and I am a Democrat. We
both come from a very liberal metropolitan city, and when
we first started dating, I was naive enough to think
that everyone I knew was naturally a Democrat. I remember
(46:09):
during the midterms asking if he wanted to come with
me to vote, and he said he didn't want to
get caught in the rain.
Speaker 1 (46:15):
That's good for Republicans, Yes, exactly. I know.
Speaker 2 (46:20):
I was young, dumb and in love and I just
didn't notice. We've had our ups and downs with politics,
and certainly had our growing pains, and even broke up
twice over it. So she goes on to say like
he's generally really respectful with her and respects her opinions,
he actually wants to talk about things with her, and
she gets very sort of like upset with him and emotional,
but she says, other than that, he is a really wonderful,
(46:41):
sweet person, extremely loving and generous. His friends are even
very respectful with their Republican beliefs. And the only problem
is I can't help but feel that I'm doing the
world at a service by being with a Republican. Is
he being the bigger person by accepting me and my
views and I'm being closed minded? Nikki?
Speaker 3 (46:59):
This is one of these things where it's like if
two women who I'm assuming are liberal or Democrats, right,
what do you think when a guy's Republican? Do you
just assume that what assumptions do you make?
Speaker 1 (47:12):
Great question? I assume that they are cheap? I assume
that they're not as open minded with the LGBTQ community.
You know, they have their own opinions about anti trans
is a big one. And also what about abortion? I
mean yeah, you know, yeah, I was just gonna say, like,
you're taking away people's rights, actively supporting a party that's
taking away women's and other people's rights. So I don't
(47:35):
really I couldn't do it be with a Republican, but
I would like to tell people that it's possible. I
would like to have the feelings that, yes, you can
make it work if you love him and he's respectful
about your opinions. But it is a major value differentiation
when you're talking about human rights.
Speaker 3 (47:57):
Yeah, so yeah, I.
Speaker 1 (47:58):
Mean that is that.
Speaker 3 (47:59):
That's what I'm curious about. It's like, what you know,
It's like some people are Republican, but they're like not
about certain things, And is it worth making a distinction,
and is it just like, well, do you think I
should stay? Should I should? Twenty six thousand women in
Texas have to give birth because of rape, you know
that statistic that in the last eighteen months. Thinks so
(48:21):
like oh God, like shit, that's so dire and depressing
and you're like, do you you know, do you support that?
Because you do support that, it seems highly improbable.
Speaker 1 (48:33):
And I don't What do you think about people who
say that they don't support that but they're still a Republican.
Speaker 3 (48:40):
I think that they are naive.
Speaker 1 (48:43):
Yes, I agree with you, you know what.
Speaker 3 (48:45):
I mean, Like, I think they're either naive at best
and lying at worst. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (48:50):
Yeah, you know it's a hard answer. It's another this
is another DeBie downer. I would say, I can't do it.
If you could do it, great, if you could get
past it, great, if you can just divorce yourself and departmentalize,
you know, your relationship in that way that you guys
aren't going to agree that I'm that, then good for you.
But I wouldn't be able to do that.
Speaker 2 (49:07):
Yeah, and I mean asterisk. If he's not voting at all,
does it matter? I mean it does, but well, you know,
is he not voting or did he not in the midterms?
But if he's not voting at all, then, like, I
don't know, maybe it's less of an issue.
Speaker 1 (49:20):
Yeah, if he's not voting, great, well.
Speaker 3 (49:22):
Yeah, if we can count on it raining every election,
and then this is this relationship is definitely going to work.
But the minute the sunshines, watch out.
Speaker 1 (49:34):
Neil. You were a delight.
Speaker 3 (49:36):
It was great to spend time with you.
Speaker 1 (49:38):
I loved having you on and everyone you have to
watch his special and then you have to watch his
other specials because you are a fucking very talented man
and you're very funny. And it's called Crazy Good and
it's on Netflix. And Neil also has a podcast called Blocks.
Speaker 3 (49:52):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (49:53):
What kind of things do you talk about on What
do you talk about on Blocks?
Speaker 3 (49:55):
Yeah? Well, so I had a special called Blocks where
I talked about my emotional blocks, right, and then so
now I have other comedians come on, and like Letterman
came on, and Bill Burr and Bert and Tom and
you know, Jimmy Carr, just a bunch of people, hopefully Chelsea,
Nikki Glazer, whatever, Trevor Noah just did good people do
(50:17):
it and they're kind of very sweetly emotionally forthcoming.
Speaker 1 (50:20):
Oh clear.
Speaker 3 (50:21):
So it's interesting. Yeah, like it's you would actually be like,
you'll probably like more of most of the people more
than you thought you did, because they you actually hear like, oh,
Tom Segura was sad to go on the road because
he was going to miss his kid. Oh shit, like
that letterman didn't leave the studio until the sun went
(50:42):
down if he had a bad show. And I was like, Dave,
that's like eight thirty nine, and he goes, no, we're
talking ten thirty eleven as an adult. Just shit that
I've never heard people say.
Speaker 1 (50:52):
It was he also fucking his assistant.
Speaker 3 (50:54):
If you think I didn't see you, think that joke
didn't come into the teleprompter else when he said it
and I didn't say it, Chelsea. Not every joke has
to be said, Chelsea.
Speaker 1 (51:07):
Okay, Well, Neil, that sounds like a great podcast. I
would love to be on anytime.
Speaker 3 (51:12):
But you're inviting hit me up, don't threaten me with
a good time.
Speaker 1 (51:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (51:17):
Well, we're going to get to the bottom of you.
Speaker 1 (51:18):
We're going to get back to the bottom of your
ally ship is.
Speaker 3 (51:21):
What We're going to get to the bottom, right we are?
Speaker 1 (51:22):
Thank you, Neil.
Speaker 3 (51:24):
It was great to spend having by. Are you guys? Bye?
Speaker 2 (51:26):
Thanks Maye.
Speaker 1 (51:28):
Okay, guys, So for stand Up, we added a second
show in Sydney, and we added a second show in
Prior Lake, Minnesota, which is now going to be May
twenty fourth. We added the Santa Barbara Bowl, which is
so fun. I performed there last year. That's August seventeenth,
the Santa Barbara Bowl. We added a second show at
(51:48):
Santa Rosa on August second, and we added two dates
at Hawaii. Guys. I'm coming to Hawaii on July nineteenth
to CO Who Louis. I'm gonna be at CA Who Louis,
and then I'm coming on July twenty at to Honolulu.
And oh I just added another date on August one Auburn, Washington.
(52:11):
So and all my Australia and New Zealand dates are up,
and I will be announcing a European tour shortly and
May third, which is my mother's birthday, Norman, Oklahoma, so come.
Speaker 2 (52:26):
If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email
at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be
sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited
and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law and
be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot
com
Hello. This is Chelsea hand Job calling.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Hi Chelsea, this is Catherine. Where's Doug today?
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Doug, it took a big shadoo bey on the carpet
at my new house, the carpet that I haven't even
used yet, really, so he peed on it the other day.
But today this is actually a victory story because I
walked out of the house and then Doug was so
upset he went and shodo being on the rug right
as and my bell was yelling at him to stop,
(00:26):
and he continued and then lifted his leg up and
peede looking at her in the eyes.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
It is a complete reversal of fortunes from when I
had Burt. This is going great. I fucking love Doug.
Doug loves me, he wants to be with me. He
gets upset when I leave. Everything is working out perfectly.
I just announced a bunch of dates for my stand up.
So first of all, there are still tickets left for
(00:53):
the Netflix is a Joke Festival Saturday night on May eleventh.
I will be there at the YouTube Theater, so there
are still tickets for that. And then I'm going to
New Zealand and Australia, so you can find your tickets
for that, and then I'm going to Hawaii. I have
two shows in Hawaii on July nineteenth and July twentieth,
Maui and Oahu. And then I added twenty two more dates.
(01:13):
I have the Santa Barbara Bowl. I added twenty two
more cities. So they're Saratoga, California, Portland, Maine, Connecticut, South Carolina, Indianapolis,
Saint Louis, Kansas City, Philadelphia, Dallas, Austin, Montclair, New Jersey.
I will be taping my specials San Diego, New Orleans, Atlanta,
all the places I'm going. I have one date in Hollywood, Florida.
(01:35):
One show in Hollywood, Florida. If you want to see
me in Florida, that's your opportunity. It's July twenty eighth. Okay,
well those are all my dates, guys.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Excellent, Well, Chelsea, we have an exciting guest today.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
I know he's a straight white male. Guys, so you
know that he's okay, you better behave himself. Actually, otherwise
he's going to go to jail.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
We love to prioritize straight white males.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Now, we don't have a lot of straight white male
guests on the show, but sometimes we do, and today
is one of those days.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
There are some kind of tricky questions for him.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Oh good. In fact, I like to put a straight
man on the hot seat. Please welcome Neil Brennan. Hi,
Neil Brennan, what Hi?
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Hi?
Speaker 1 (02:17):
First of all, congrats on your your latest special. How
many specials have you had?
Speaker 3 (02:21):
I've had three and a half. I had to do
a half hour for some reason after my first. It
was it was stupid three and a half hours.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
You had to do a half hours. Oh that's degrading.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
But I had already done and it was stupid.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Neil Brennan has a new special on Netflix called Crazy Good.
It just came out. It's fucking funny. Catherine and I
both watched it. Neil Brennan is one of the funniest
comics out there, so if you're not familiar with him,
you should. He's drinking a bottle of Mountain Spring flat
water from what I can.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
Tell, sparkling, sparkling, thank you.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Oh the red one is okay, all right, that's better.
That's at least better, thank you. And he also has
a podcast called Blocks, which rhymes with well cough. It
rhymes with but Neil, I didn't realize how much you
struggled with depression your whole life.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
Really, you couldn't just tell.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Well, I think you know what, All male comics strike me.
Not all, I shouldn't say all, but most male comics
strike me as slightly depressed. So it becomes part of
the package, you know, like being around comics. I mean,
I think most comics are slightly depressed. It's not even
just men.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
I'm curious as to what your estimation of female comics
is because I think I kind of agree with you
about males. But I'm wondering. I'm like, how would I
categorize female comic? Is it like people pleasing or something?
Speaker 1 (03:39):
No, I think I mean, I'm thinking right now about
probably a lot of people we have in common, and
a couple of the girls have light depression, but generally
as an overall sentiment, I don't find female comics depressed
in the way that I do find male comics depressed.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
I agree, but I'm wondering, what would you How would
you categorize them? Anxious?
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Maybe anxious? I don't want to say people pleaser, because
I find most comics are actually female comics these days
are not people pleasers. They're more like fuck off, Like
we've been through enough so just everyone could go fuck themselves.
Is that that's more of an overarching theme and attitude
among women. So I don't know what the drive for
(04:21):
women is. It's an interesting Yeah, is it.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
Like maybe like frustrate anger, like generalized anger and frustration
about the way society is set up and the way Yeah,
the sexism of nature. I'm now thinking about how sexist
nature is, just with like periods and just all the
stuff you guys have to go through that we kind
of don't. It would make me insane if I had
(04:43):
to do it.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Yeah, women do have to deal with a lot of bullshit,
but you're also so inured to it that it becomes
like a period having to like constantly prove yourself or
with that a woman is funny or that a woman
is successful. I think the thing that irks women the
most is the lack of respect that we get from men,
and especially male comics to female comics. There's that dynamic
(05:06):
for sure. Like I was at an event recently and
I was watching a very famous comedian do her thing,
and I was watching the male comedians watch her, and
they had no respect for her.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Well, what's funny is I have Like I was going
to start by saying how much respect I have for you,
because it's you know when you like first hear about
somebody and I'd heard you'd written a book. It was
like seven o eight. I'd heard you written a book
and that the book was selling well. And then I
saw you crush and then you then you were on
(05:37):
e crushing for ten years or whatever, and just like
you just crush and you You're a huge draw and
you have millions of fans, like I feel like I've
seen them. I went and saw you at Comedy Magic
just I think, just you one time, like I'm an
ally is what I'm trying to say.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
I was like with you, no, let me preface this myself, but.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
I didn't even but I agree with you, like I
I agree with you that it is like because I
feel like in some ways, everybody feels like an underdog.
I think everybody show feels like an underdog. I feel
like I was for a long time like Dave's plus one,
David Chappelle's plus one, like we were the show together
and then I was like pretending to do stand up
and then slowly but surely it was like, oh, oh,
(06:27):
so I feel like I was able to earn not
like I earned it as if I was a woman.
But I earned this in a different way than everybody
has to earn it. But I feel like mine took
a long time and it was sort of public in
a weird way.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
So, but I also think earning things sometimes it takes longer.
You're not the front and center person. You're kind of
out of an attachment to somebody else, which kind of
countibults you into the spotlight in a different way. Can
feel not like what you want at the beginning, but
when you have achieved the success that you've had and
earning it feels right, doesn't it. Like working that hard
(07:03):
and hustling that hard feels good.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Yeah, because you look back on the things that you
were like I should have gotten that, and then you
it's like I didn't realize how good I would have
to be before people go okay, fine, yeah, it's like I,
how hard do you need me to throw the ball?
And they were just like harder. We don't know why, right,
oh it harder. And I'd be like all right here
(07:26):
and then they'd be like, okay, you're good. But it
took so from my point of be mind bendingly long
to get there. So yeah, but you're right, it is
more satisfying than I never felt like I was grandfather did,
but everybody else felt like I was grandfather. And I'm like,
I wrote the jokes and directed the sketches, like you
know what I mean. Like it wasn't like everybody thought
(07:48):
I didn't do anything, So it was it's nice to
go like, okay, here, I am see this by myself. Finally,
like Okay, you're funny.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
I can relate to what you're saying a great deal
because I also find out, like even when you are successful,
which I've been successful for so many years since I was,
you know, in my probably late twenties, early thirties, and
there were periods in my life where I had to
prove and reprove the same shit I had already been
successful at. And you're like, oh my god, are you
fucking kidding me? Like I remember taking a break from
(08:21):
stand up for six years after my Elsey Lately show.
I just was so burned out on every level. I'm like,
I'm not doing stand up. I can't do this anymore.
I have nothing to say. And then when I went
back to it six years later, like I understood, Okay,
you're not gonna be playing Arenas or what you were
playing before. You have to rebuild that. But even my
agents were like, what are you gonna do. I'm like,
I'm gonna do stand up. That's how I started. And
(08:43):
they're like, but what's it gonna be? What's it gonna
be about? We don't get the show. I'm like, what what?
And then I finally just had to ignore them and
literally put my head down and go, Okay, I'll fucking
show them what I'm gonna do. And I ended up
selling that you know special to HBO Max when I
came back on the scene in comedy, which was like
three specials go. But it was very frustrating to have
to reprove the reason why you became successful in the
(09:04):
first place.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
Yeah, it's embarrassing, but the good news is, I think
it kind of happens to everybody. Yeah, I really do,
Like I think every I think even I won't name guys,
but where you're like, hm, I don't know. I think
it's maybe it's worse for women, but I think it's
certainly exists for guys, and it's a terrible business for
(09:27):
everyone involved.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
I didn't realize you went to Catholic school. I thought, Neil,
I thought you were a Jew.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
I know. Well, the thing I say is, I'm not Jewish.
I just have.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
Allergies, and you look a little Jewish, And no, of
course I'm a Jew. So I know a Jew when
I see one.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
You see like, apparently I have some of the features
and the good joke writing. So yeah, but I went
to Catholic school for twelve years.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Yeah, well that'll fuck anybody up. But I was really
really curious to learn about all of the shit that
you've had to try to help your depression. And I
want to talk about all of this stuff and what
your reactions to all of this. TMS HGH gave you
panic attacks, ketamine, aahuasca, and DMT, and then you flew
to China to do intense TMS.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
So yes, I don't this was not just this sounds
like I was just spinning a wheel and be like
fuck it TMS again. It was a progression from just
the basic therapy medication. Kind of hit a wall. I'd
Zoloft help for about ten years, kind of hit a
wall and then heard about TMS.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Well, waitit, let's define what TMS is. Can you tell?
Speaker 3 (10:37):
Okay, yes, I will. TMS is called transcranial magnetic stimulation.
It is a basically, it's kind of an MRI plate
or helmet like sort of wand that they kind of
put over your part of your head and then they
fire an MRI beam and it's like sounds. It feels
(11:00):
like a low energy woodpecker and it doesn't feel bad.
We just kind of like this is odd and it
works for people, and it worked for me.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
And what is it supposed to do. It's designed to
stimulate something.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
It activates the electricity of brain cells, is my understanding.
I could be missed.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
I could be completely misinformed.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
Yes, I know the word stimulation is in the title.
So let's say it stimulates some neurons to get back
to work, so to speak.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
And why did you go to China for this?
Speaker 3 (11:33):
Well? Okay, so I did TMS probably ten years ago
in West La. I think it was about forty sessions.
It's like three days, four days a week and it's
a half hour you sit there watch TV. And then
that it worked for a while, and then I just
after maybe six years, I felt like I needed a
tune up now. Concurrently, there was a guy booking a
(11:57):
show in Shanghai that THEO Vaughn had done, so I
was like, I'll do a show and Shang I, the
guy who runs the show, has a brother that's a
neurosurgeon in China has a better unregulated TMS while you're here.
Do you want to do it? I was like, I
only want to do it. I don't even care about
the show in China. It was basically like five weeks
(12:19):
of TMS in one week. They because it's it's a
free for all, worked pretty good.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
And then the TMS. I think you mean it worked
pretty well? Know the TMS really is it like a moodlifter.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
It's none of it. It's like a moodlifter. It's not nothing's
like cocainey or like you know mdmash where it's like boying.
It's more just like the floor comes up a little bit,
you know what I mean, in your mood. And that's
how what I found with all this stuff. Zoloft was big.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
What about the ketamine, Well.
Speaker 3 (12:48):
Ketamine I didn't like it. See I've had like part
twos with all these things. First time I did Keademy,
it was like nine years ago, didn't work, didn't like it,
found the experience of it sort of like a goofy
drug expers no long term positive effects. And then the
big one for me was ayahuasca. Oh, which you did.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Once, right, yeah, twice and two in two days. I
didn't see you're right?
Speaker 3 (13:13):
So yeah. So in twenty twenty, somebody sent me an
article about ayahuasca and they're like, we got to do this.
I then get a hookup, we do it, and it
was like good. It was like, oh, this is good
in a way I can't really it was. It felt
like sort of connected, you know. And in order to
do it you have to go off Zoloft. So I'd
(13:34):
gone off Zoloft and was doing it, and then I
did it again and I basically had my third time.
I like woke up and I was like, oh, I'm
in the presence of God. I believe right now. I
was an atheist before that, so I was like, oh,
I have now I have a spiritual connection. And I
(13:55):
just felt different, like I felt like the neurons in
my brain had sort of been updated or changed in
some way. And then I haven't gone back on zela.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Oh well that's a huge success story then And how
long ago was that?
Speaker 3 (14:08):
Four years ago?
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Wow?
Speaker 1 (14:10):
I fucking love that story. Where did you do that
in La?
Speaker 3 (14:13):
Yeah? Near six Flags? Thanks fr asking perfect?
Speaker 1 (14:16):
I love six Flags? What a safe environment for you?
Speaker 3 (14:19):
What wonderful? The screaming? Yeah, so so that was that's
been great. And then I did five MEO DMT.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
I did that too, and I ended up naked because
I had to rip my clothes off. That's how bad
I was. It was the worst experience I've ever had
with the drug. Was five dm EOT a.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
Different experience where I just had the basic you inhales?
Did we explain it? It's basically a toad secretion that
they dry and they scrape it, put it in a
pipe and you smoke it and you get you go
to Where did you go when you Inhale? Where did
you go?
Speaker 1 (14:57):
Great question? I went to the darkest. I'm a positive, upbeat,
typically upbeat person. I'm a pragmatist. I don't really get upset.
I mean I get upset, but I don't get depressed.
I don't struggle with what we're talking about. That was
the darkest I've ever felt in my life. I didn't
prepare for it, you know, like I didn't cleanse. I
kind of did it off the cuff. Somebody was doing it.
(15:19):
I'm like, I'll try that. So that was stupid too.
But I've never met a drug I didn't get along
with great, So I was like, yeah, let's go face first.
And it was miserable. It was dark and it was death.
It felt like death, Like I was excited. I was
told it was an ego killer, you know, and I
love that. I love the idea of not having your
ego in theory in the mix. Well, yeah, I would
(15:39):
like to get rid of it permanently. I mean, I'm
sure I wouldn't be in this business, but i'd have
to do something else. But yeah, it felt so ominous.
The whole thing was just so dark, and I couldn't.
I said, please make this stop, make it stop, make
it stop. And five minutes later I was covered in
my own sweat, in my bron underwear, sitting with some
naked woman who was comforting me. I mean, I mean
the woman who administered or helped me smoke it, who
(16:01):
was comforting me. And I was like, this was awful
and I don't ever need to do this again. So
tell me about your experience.
Speaker 3 (16:06):
Well, Chelsea, I went to what another person described, Michael Polland,
who wrote a book called How to Change Her Mind.
He described smoking DMT, and he went to the same
place that I went to, which is before the Big Bang. Insane.
It was insane. I told somebody I was aiming for God,
(16:27):
and I missed my stop. I went past everything, and then,
but at last, about thirty five minutes, I was I
was in a white void. I didn't know what breathing was,
I didn't know what direction left right up. I didn't
have any sense of anything, and with the ego death
thing I've never experienced, because I was some version of myself,
(16:52):
meaning like I was some I had a point of view,
and my point of view was I have no idea
what's happening? And I I felt like I was feeling
my first neuron form, like I felt like the original
person of human life, not a person. We're millions away.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
Wave man, even on your feet.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
Further, we're talking about molecule.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
I was a mom okay, okay, wow wow.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
Yes it was wild. And then slowly but surely, my
sort of human consciousness came back into me over about
thirty five minutes to the point where like pettiness would
come back in and I was like, no, we're not
doing that anymore. Like I was trying to like rebuild.
So it was like, you know, I inhaled at eight,
I was walking home at nine. I was in New York,
(17:45):
and uh, that was fine. Right a week later, I
have what's called a reactivation, like a flashback. So now
it was. It was a Sunday in New York. I
went and met a woman for coffee, and I was
on a coffee date, and half of me was before
the big bang, like visually, and I had the two
(18:09):
or three most harrowing days of my life. I didn't know.
At one point, I go, am I in God's imagination?
Just shit, you're not supposed to think at all. But
I got a half a percent better every day, and
after about eight months, I was a better version of
myself than I've ever been.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Wow, that's a good that's a positive story, I know,
but it's scary scary also.
Speaker 3 (18:35):
And talk about earning it, like got the I got
the transformation, but like I had to work for every
inch of it.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
Sounds like it. Did you feel like you had your
ego with ayahuasca that feels like an ego killer as well.
Speaker 3 (18:51):
I don't the thing about the ego seeing this as
ego or not. I think my experiences were it's always
going to be from my point of view. I've never
had an experience where it wasn't a first person whether
I'm a molecule or I don't think that.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
I don't think that's what I mean by saying. If
it like, it can still be your perspective. But you are,
like I remember Ayahuasca, I was like I was. I
was the spirit of me rather than the physical me,
you know, the spirit of me looking at the spirit
of my sister, looking at the spirit of the situation,
looking at everything from above, and I'm I'm me, But
I'm not attached to me and my ego. I'm attached
(19:28):
to the natural good outcome of the situation.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
Yeah, I would. I would say that the thing that
I've gotten from it is my values are sort of
better overall, like my ethics or like what I crave.
There's more to the story also. So then so that's
like twenty twenty one, right, then this year they're about
the last calendar year, twenty twenty three, twenty twenty four.
(19:54):
I've done MDMA every maybe three months in like a
not party setting, and uh, I've gotten so much from it,
like real growth, I think, like real recategorization of like
how I am in my in my essence kind of
(20:14):
like it's really awesome. The clearest example I can give
is like there was one maybe last August, where I
did it and I was able to forgive all my
many enemies. Chelsea. I'm Irish, Catholic, you know, grudge and
a little Jewish with a Jewish rising and and we
(20:40):
and I was able to forgive all my enemies. And
then the next I was like, why was I so
able to do that? Like a A I'm like, I
love holding a grudge. And I realized because I finally
had some oxytose and dopamine and serotonin in my brain
instead of just cortisol and adrenaline all day. And I realize, like, oh,
(21:01):
I need to stop paying attention to the cortisol. Like
what I think is my personality is basically just me
going like cortisol, cortisol, cortisol, cortisol, and and ignoring that
sort of part of my brain that rites that shit
and just going like you're out of your mind. And
(21:21):
I've been able to kind of do it. It was
a thing I couldn't. I had no mastery over whatsoever.
And now I actually have some and I legitimately believe
it's because of the aahuasca DMT.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
And yeah, no, all those drugs are good things, you know.
I think everyone's realizing that now, especially are you sober?
Speaker 3 (21:42):
Like basically like I couldn't tell you the last time
I had a drink, but I don't.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
It's not like a thing, right, You're not interested? Okay?
So are you? Do? You think you're good at giving advice?
Speaker 3 (21:53):
Neil, I love it. Whether it's good or not. It's
a whole lot of one.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
That's exactly what we're going to find out. We're going
to find that out today.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
I'm no what all's no.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Perfect Okay, So we are going to take a break
and we're going to be right back.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
If you need advice from Chelsea, right into Dear Chelsea
Podcast at gmail dot com. You can ask about your
biggest dating conundrums, the cheating scandal that's rocking your friend group,
the funniest marital disagreements you need Chelsea to weigh in on,
or anything else that's Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot
com and we're back. We are back. Are you ready
(22:29):
to lunch?
Speaker 3 (22:30):
Ready?
Speaker 1 (22:30):
Nail's ready, I'm fucking ready. You're ready, Ayahuasca's ready? By dat.
We should do a episode where we're all on MDMA.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
That sounds that I'm doing.
Speaker 3 (22:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
Well, our first question comes from Katie and she's in
New York. My boyfriend and I have been together for
about three years, and I've always been really right there.
He is like three or four years older than her,
but I've always been really frank with him that I'm
not okay with him using porn. I think it's super
demeaning and generally ruins your sex. I thought catching him
(23:01):
in the act with porn would be the worst thing
that could happen. Turns out I was wrong. While using
his computer to do some research for work, I stumbled
across some Reddit threads he had bookmarked. I promise I
wasn't snooping Chelsea. The trail led me to threads about
a certain barely legal teenage actress who starred in Let's Say,
a popular Netflix show starring children. The thread showed all
(23:22):
kinds of red carpet and paparazzi photos of the actress,
who had been a mere child in the show we'd
just watched. In compromising photos think close ups on cameltoe, wardrobe,
malfunctions at the beach, etc. Just a woman living her
life being taken advantage of, and my boyfriend was googling it.
The whole thing felt very non consensual. I was disgusted,
(23:43):
even though the pictures generally seemed to be on the
recent end of things, so she would be legal. But
who's to tell. My problem is, I'm absolutely sure he's
the one. Does this mean he's sexually attracted to kids?
Speaker 1 (23:55):
Yes, yes it does. We'll gonna talk to Neil in
a second about it, but I'm pretty sure it does.
Speaker 3 (23:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
Instead, I be scared to bring him around my teenage nieces.
Will he be attracted to me as I age? Most importantly,
is this a deal breaker? Katie?
Speaker 1 (24:08):
Let's talk about porn? Neil, you're a straight mail tell
us what the deal is?
Speaker 3 (24:12):
I think, well, I have a lot of thoughts about it.
One of them is, guys, don't realize that it's science fiction.
It's not real. It's as real as the best analogy is.
It's as real as fast and Furious is to driving.
(24:33):
It's like, yeah, you're not driving off of buildings onto
aircraft carriage. It's stupid. Most porn it's just dumb and cartoonish,
and women just are not like that. Like occasionally, I
think women are a little bit like that, like sporty
like let that, ah whatever, but I think most women
(24:53):
actually want a connection.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
Yeah, okay, so we've got the porn figured out sort of,
But what do you have to say about younger because
this is important And she used the word non consensual.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
Because it's sort of like creepy picture has taken while
this woman was not aware of.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
But that's yes, But she's a public person, so she's
gonna get pictures taken of her. But the other thing
is younger women. Okay, Neil, let's talk about men and
younger women. What are your thoughts on this guy looking
at pictures of a girl that's hardly legal, and what
does that make you think about him.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
I've never had a predilection for a younger one. I
always dated older women. Whatever. Again, I'm an ally.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
And there's nothing that's me and there's nothing we can
do about it.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
No. I love menopause and I always will, so I
think it's some of its kind of gross if you
get into like peak human fertility. If you go deeper
and deeper and deeper, it's like a guy, we're attracted
to fertility, and women are attracted to guys with big
shoulders and jaws and foreheads and providers and all that stuff.
(25:54):
If you get into the reality of it, it's pretty gross, right, So,
but obviously there are laws for a reason because you're praying. Basically, yes,
it's obviously gross and like troubling, but I also understand
it from an evolutionary thing.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
Yeah, I know what you're saying. I just think, like,
I don't know, there's a lot of guys out there
that wouldn't be interested in looking at a girl that age,
do you know what I mean? There are men that
are more but sure than that, that that are like
that doesn't turn me on because they know enough now
to understand that a woman at that age is not
mature enough to understand you're not on a level even
(26:37):
playing field. I don't care if anybody watches porn whatever,
whatever floats your boat. But when you're talking about younger
girls and you has a Reddit thing and he's following,
like what looking at pictures of her camel tooe, Like
all of that is just so gross, creepy. It's all creepy.
It's off limits, like there's a power dynamic. And it's
also you're creeping, like well, creeping on anyone is icky.
(26:57):
It's the creeping. It's the ass up, like I don't
want to look. It's a picture of someone's cameltoe on
the beach.
Speaker 3 (27:02):
Why.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
Yes, So when she's saying this is the one, it's like,
is it is it the one? Because it sounds like
you already believe that. So nothing I'm gonna say is
gonna change your mind. But I would say, ew, he
sounds gross.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
Yes, I totally agree either, So of course I mean
an a So you know what I'm gonna say, guys,
but I think in some ways most guy sexual predilections
are gross just by the fact that it's coming from
a guy. Yeah, it's gonna be great. It's a McDonald's.
(27:34):
You can took Kobe Beef on it, it's still McDonald
it's still gross. So you know, it's like, what should
a guy like? And then what you'll describe as something
akin to you, you know what I mean, like a
woman who's been successful and did whatever, like a professional
data because I think because I'm sure there are things
(27:54):
or types of guys you like that you're not that
proud of, or it's not the greatest thing you've ever liked,
or sexual scenarios that you're like, I wish I didn't
like that, but I do, and it's porn as sort
of a safe way to act out.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
Let me ask you a question from a male perspective.
If you had a girlfriend and you found her doing
what this woman is describing. She found Shay she was
looking at pictures of some underage actor. Who's a good
underage actor. I want to say Timothy Shallamy.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
But he's Ben Wolfard was one with all these like
fifty year old moms were like getting tattoos of his
face when he was eleven and being like he's so hot.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
Like if you found air your girlfriend looking at pictures
of a young celebrity that was not eighteen years old,
how would you react and how would that make you feel?
Speaker 3 (28:42):
This is like that movie where Matthew McConaughey gives a
big speech in court at the end and changes the
whole point of like what.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
A time to kill That was a time to kill Miquel.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
It's a time to kill. I would think she's a
little bananas what Like.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
I wouldn't if I if I saw a guy looking
at a young girl like, I would be done. I'm
not interested in that. I don't like that.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
No, if I knew what, yeah, yeah, you're you're once,
I'm like, Yeah, if I if I was dating a
woman who liked looking at underage dick Prince, I'd be like,
you know what, I think we've done everything we can here.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
Yeah, it feels like a deal breaker. That's her name, Katie, Katie.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
I'm sorry. I know you think this is the one
and you probably will marry him and you won't listen
to me. But I would say, honestly, that's a big
red flag, a big red Reddit flag.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Does this mean he's into kids? Maybe not? But do
you want to be the one to find out?
Speaker 3 (29:33):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (29:33):
Exactly. It's like, there are many people in the world.
Everyone needs to stop talking about the one. There are
millions of ones. Just find someone else.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
It's not that hard find a better one.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
And when you find a better one, you're like, I
have a great one, and I'm like, I'm so glad
I waited.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 3 (29:52):
Once you find you're like, oh yeah, I knew that
I could get like a suit that fit better. You
know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
It's so profound, Neil, you're like a profit. You're like
an ally profit.
Speaker 3 (30:02):
I do a lot of things apart a lot of
profit works.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
Yes, well, our next question comes from Dylan. She writes,
Dear Chelsea, I met my husband in September twenty twenty
one and married him six months later, super quick. I
know I was single for eight years prior to meeting him,
and I knew that he was here on a student
visa to get his masters, but I didn't know the
(30:27):
deadline was quickly approaching. At that point. He offered me
three options. One, we could continue dating while he married
another woman strictly as a platonic business agreement. Two, we
could break up so he could pursue another woman who
was ready to get married on the spot. Three, we
could marry each other. I was so new to being
back in the dating world and had really strong feelings
(30:47):
for him, and I couldn't imagine losing him. At that point.
I decided to say fuck it and went on to
have a courthouse marriage. I continuously question if I made
the right decision. I know he's in love with me,
but I'm not sure if he's just using me for citizenship.
One thing is he works a remote job. He was
introduced virtually to a female coworker who soon left the company.
They've kept in touch for over a year now. They
(31:09):
text almost every day and have scheduled calls that last
over an hour. Sometimes these include video chats. She cries
to him about her work troubles and personal life, and
even sends postcards from the different states she visits, postcards
what year are we living in? I'm never privy to
these calls. He secludes himself in the room with the
door closed. I didn't honestly care about this weird friendship
until we recently had a pretty big fight. When we
(31:31):
made up, he let a slip that he had planned
on visiting her if we were actually to separate. This
set off alarm bells for me. Should I have voiced
my opinion about their friendship or am I being dramatic?
Speaker 1 (31:40):
Dylan, Hi, Dylan, Hi, guys, this is Neil Brennan. He's
our special ghost today.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
Hey, good to meet you.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
We wanted you to have advice from a straight male
and straight females.
Speaker 4 (31:52):
Ooh, Okay, this is new.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
Honestly, that really sucks, and I would probably I think
that that something probably is happening that you don't know
about and leading to that, Like it's all very shady
and it's pretty obvious, like you shouldn't. Nobody has carries
on those relationships with people unless there aren't like emotional feelings,
you know what I mean. This isn't some friend he's
(32:15):
had since childhood. This is a woman he met at
his job who's he's carving out special time to have
video chats with her, like he clearly has feelings for.
Speaker 2 (32:23):
Her, or like she's a backup you know.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
Yeah, Neil, what do you have to say?
Speaker 3 (32:28):
I would agree wholeheartedly. Like I again, not to be
the very bad news, but there's no point in who's
got that much bandwidth for like a romantic relationship and
then like a platonic plus relationship. Also that like work
wife thing. It's like when I when people started saying
(32:52):
where I'm like, this's the person you're gonna fuck when
you guys break up. It's not your work wife, it's
like your miss. It's your open miss. You're my future mistress.
So it'll be hard. But I think you have to
accept the fact that it might not be what you
wanted to be.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
Okay, have the two of them ever met in person
or it has been strictly virtual the whole time.
Speaker 3 (33:14):
Just virtual?
Speaker 2 (33:14):
Okay, it's just weird.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
And it's also like your your alarm bells were already
going off and then you had a fight and he
kind of delivered the information that should be the end
of the relationship, like he was going to go visit
her if you guys didn't get back together. That's kind
of your answer.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
The relationship with the work wife, or the relationship.
Speaker 1 (33:33):
With Dylan, the relationship with the work the work wife,
Like he was going to go visit that girl, right,
he told you that when you guys got in this fight,
So like that's your answer. And I feel like I
think the one the biggest disservice women due to ourselves
is not listening to the warnings. You know, don't let
him talk you into whatever it's. His behavior demonstrates it
(33:56):
all by itself. You don't need to have any conversations
around it. His behavior, your scheduling calls, scheduling zooms or
facetimes or whatever they're up to. It's all just that's
all the information you need and it does suck, but
I think you don't want to ever learn this lesson again, right, right,
So if you can just get out of this relationship,
do you feel like you have that, like you're ready
(34:18):
to get out of this relationship. Not at the moment.
Speaker 4 (34:21):
It's not really a good time for that. Just like
personally between the two of us, we just signed a
new lease on a house, so we're moving again, and.
Speaker 3 (34:29):
It's a two year lease.
Speaker 4 (34:31):
So I don't know if I should go to him
with like a compromise because I don't really have guy
friends with that type of relationship, or if I should
just say, like, hey, like this just needs to end period.
There's nothing I need to do to make this better.
Speaker 1 (34:44):
I'm just going to say, even if you signed a
year lease, a two year lease with yes, you can
give him an ultimatum, but I'm sure that he's going
to continue talking to her behind your back. That's what
I would predict will happen. And I would also say,
and I know, I don't know what kind of financial
position you're in, but I would say the fact that
you signed a least with him for two years does
not mean you can't break up with him, Okay, you
(35:05):
have to figure out a way, like to say, listen,
I don't trust this situation. I want you to be
done with this woman. If he says yes, fine, no problem, fine,
and you want to give it a chance, go, I
would say, just get out of the situation. Don't waste
another two years of your life with somebody like this.
Speaker 3 (35:21):
I just yeah, you may have to buy your freedom,
but it'll be worth it.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
Yeah, and I know that doesn't sound good, but it
will be worth it. I would hate to see you
waste another two years of your life with somebody that
is like that.
Speaker 3 (35:33):
Yeah, there's no I think the I think good thing
that a lot of people do is talk yourself out
of what you know. I me like, no, And also,
I want to be a Relationships are hard work. They're
not that hard, you know what I mean, Like, they're
not they don't require that much grace and generosity on
(35:53):
your part, Like this is so far beyond the pale
to me. I'm with what Chelsea said, which is like,
try to get out of it.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
Yeah, I'm sorry. I hate to give you that kind
of answer. You know, we all do because it sucks.
But you decide what your value is. Like we all
kind of decide what we're going to tolerate and what
we're not. And I really think this is a moment
in your life where you have to decide what are
you worth to yourself? Okay?
Speaker 3 (36:18):
Yeah, all right?
Speaker 1 (36:21):
Yeah, and I and try not to let the financial
aspect of making a commitment. He can find another roommate
or find another go get that girl to move in
whatever I want you to free up and go meet
the person you're really supposed to be with.
Speaker 3 (36:34):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (36:35):
Yeah, you can lose the security deposit. You can make
that money again, but you can't get that time back.
Speaker 1 (36:39):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (36:40):
Yeah, and yeah, show yourself some respect.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
Yeah. Thanks, sending you a lot of love, honey.
Speaker 4 (36:46):
All right, I appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (36:47):
Thanks Dylan.
Speaker 3 (36:49):
Bye.
Speaker 1 (36:51):
We've had some bad news on this podcast today.
Speaker 3 (36:55):
It's not usually is.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
I mean, it's like doctor Phil, but.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
Not really breaking people up. Well, hopefully we can help Maria.
She's just trying to get late.
Speaker 3 (37:05):
So oh, I wouldn't I wouldn't bet on it.
Speaker 1 (37:08):
Well, Neil, you're just single. You can have sex with
her if she needs somebody to have sex with her.
Speaker 3 (37:12):
I'm not single. I have a lady. Oh, oh shit,
I said that I have a I have a lady
now and it's like a custom mates. It's awesome.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
Oh that's so nice that she's not a comedian.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
No, is this the one you went on the coffee
date with and went into another?
Speaker 3 (37:28):
Nope, nope, this woman's actually a therapist, it's all.
Speaker 1 (37:31):
It's his therapist.
Speaker 3 (37:32):
Actually, by a therapist, I mean my therapist. Yes, and
it was actually my couples therapists with my act kidding,
I kid, I kid, it's.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
Like Johnny deppan is divorce attorney, but a beautiful romance.
Speaker 2 (37:45):
Well, Maria is twenty three, so she's too young anyway.
Speaker 1 (37:48):
Yeah, you're not allowed to talk to her.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
She's three. I should go, so, she says, Dear Chelsea,
my name's Maria and I'm a twenty three year old
woman and I've lately been having issues navigating relationships. A
lot of my close friends and family are the old
ball and chain type, and after seeing that shit, no thanks.
I also grew up going to Catholic school, so casual
(38:10):
sex and dating was never really an option. However, since
I've moved to Chicago, I've realized that I just want
to be alone with myself and my dogs, Drew, Marrymore
and Potato. Plus, I just realized I'm a lesbian after
getting out of a three year relationship. Shout out to
Rene Wrap for that revelation. So I feel like I
have a lot of scissoring to catch up on.
Speaker 1 (38:27):
Oh m hm.
Speaker 2 (38:28):
This took a lot out of me and made me
realize at this point, I just want sex and attention.
I'm talking freer than a public restroom, and I honestly
don't know how to go about that. I flirt with
men for attention, and I've been super open with them
about that, but it always ends with them buying me
gifts and becoming possessive. And then with women, we'll sleep
together and then they get emotionally invested and social media
(38:50):
stock me. One even put an air tag on my car.
So my question is how do I set those boundaries
and tell people I don't want to be with them
in that way?
Speaker 1 (38:58):
Maria, Hi, Maria, Hi, this is our special guest Neil
Brennan today. Hi Maria, Hey, Well, good for you for
having so many options. I envy that. I think that
all these dating sites, you know, you can make it
very clear on Tinder, unhinge on all these things, all
these platforms, that you're not looking for anything serious and
(39:20):
that you are looking for casual fun encounters, and people
appreciate that honesty, and you're going to find people that
are also looking for the same thing. Just like front
load that information, you know what I mean, put that
up front and center. Because some people are also they
don't want to deal with the relationship aspect. They feel
the same way you do, so it's kind of like
a shortcut to meeting those But I would just say
(39:41):
to put your profile up on all of those things,
because tell that's what Tinder specially is for sex. I mean,
I feel like it right, it's not for dating, and
all these platforms are for sex, so it's I mean,
it's not a real problem. I don't think.
Speaker 3 (39:57):
Okay, okay, Maria, I have a question as a man,
you said you're flirting with men for attention, and then
are you taking all the all the sexual energy and
bringing it to women and then having sex with them
or are you do you sleep with the men sometimes?
Speaker 1 (40:13):
I sleep with the guys sometimes.
Speaker 3 (40:15):
I like and then they get what if they were
nineteen Chelsea, would you like her style? Then?
Speaker 1 (40:22):
There legal. I don't know anything about allyship at all.
Speaker 3 (40:30):
I'm a bad ally. I just remembered I directed half
of the first season of Amy Schumer, so that again
put another chip on the ally if I'm ever in trouble.
So okay, so and the guys are getting you tell
the guys that it's you like to keep it sexual,
and they're getting attached.
Speaker 1 (40:50):
Also, yeah, that's only because yeah, men are so you're
saying that, yes exactly, and they.
Speaker 3 (40:57):
Know that if you said I can't wait to see
you again, you would never see them exactly.
Speaker 1 (41:02):
That's actually a right tactic. You should just completely switch
tactics and say you're looking for a relationship and you
will get the opposite response.
Speaker 3 (41:08):
Yeah, and be like, whoops, I slept with you. Yeah,
and go up, I fucked you. I accidentally fucked you.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
And if you don't want to see that person again
after you fuck them, say I love you. Yeah, I
can't say it during sex. Say it during sex, and
you will never ever see that person again.
Speaker 2 (41:28):
Make eye contact.
Speaker 1 (41:29):
This is for the men only. And I don't know
what goes on in lesbian circles like I only I mean,
I only have lesbian friends. I have ever been operated
in a lesbian relationship. So, but yes, I would say
throw actually throw out everything I said and go with
what Neil said and just say you're looking for love,
and then you won't have any problems.
Speaker 3 (41:48):
Okay, okay, well yeah, do lesbian? I mean, I feel
like lesbians would be like I may. They might say,
I also love you, I'm getting to love you. Am
I wrong? Am I stereotyping?
Speaker 2 (41:59):
I think you're.
Speaker 1 (42:03):
I love that line. I'm going to use that line.
I'm getting to love you too. That's what I must
say the next time someone's.
Speaker 3 (42:14):
In that direction, I'm not there yet, they get into it.
I wonder how you could handle it with lesbian if
you said I'm not interested, would they take you? Would
they would they take your word for it? Are they
taking your word for it? And now?
Speaker 1 (42:28):
No?
Speaker 2 (42:28):
They they take it as a challenge.
Speaker 1 (42:30):
They're like, okay, so, like, what do I have to
do to make you like me again?
Speaker 3 (42:36):
Like?
Speaker 1 (42:37):
Why did it stop so annoying? It's just like you're
just trying to have some casual set.
Speaker 3 (42:41):
Yeah. Literally, I think we have a good plan for
the guys. I don't I feel unqualified to give you
directions for lesbians.
Speaker 2 (42:50):
I feel like you gotta like bang them and block
them like you got it, or be like, hey, your
friend's really cute. Can you introduce me to her?
Speaker 1 (42:56):
Like that's kind of a douchebag, Yeah, if you're a dick, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:01):
That makes sense.
Speaker 3 (43:02):
Yeah. And if that doesn't work, fake your own death.
Speaker 1 (43:05):
Have you thought about faking your own obviously?
Speaker 3 (43:08):
Like?
Speaker 1 (43:08):
Who has it? Okay, stay strong and I'm so happy
you're having so much sex. Good for you, thank you,
thank you. I'm Maria. But what city background was?
Speaker 2 (43:21):
She's in Chicago, and Chicago is the best city to
be young and queer in, especially for lesbians. It is
the best, is it? We have a whole neighborhood of
lesbians of lesbians. It's called Anderson Mill.
Speaker 1 (43:31):
That's oh, it should be called And you know what's.
Speaker 3 (43:33):
Funny is that you guys start reading the letter and
then you'll and then I paint a picture of them
in my head, and then you bring them on camera
like halfway through the letter. It should be part of
the show, like a game show, like what do you
think this person looks like? Yeah? And then they come
up and it's never what I'm over to.
Speaker 1 (43:52):
So far, we have to take a break, Neil on
that thoughtful interaction that we just had. We have to
take a break and we'll be right back. Okay, and
we're back.
Speaker 2 (44:06):
We are back.
Speaker 1 (44:07):
That was our break and we're back.
Speaker 2 (44:09):
Yes, we have a little quickie to wrap up with. Okay, great,
the email is slightly long, but.
Speaker 3 (44:14):
You know the I have a question. I have a
question about quickies real quick. When you say let's have
a quickie, right, as a woman, let's have a quickie,
do you expect that you'll have an orgasm or is
it just to get the sexual energy an orgasm?
Speaker 2 (44:33):
Okay, yeah, yeah, we want to come yeah, like five
minutes or less, like make it happen.
Speaker 3 (44:38):
Yeah, yeah, Look, I didn't love your tone. Didn't love
either of your tone. Understood, will do it. I have
a very mercenary approach to sex, which is like I
go in for you the pardoner, to have an orgasm,
and then once you're all set, then I go okay,
(44:59):
now it's my turn.
Speaker 2 (45:00):
Perfect.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
That's what most men should be doing. Yes, you go
in service your woman and then you can penetrate her.
Speaker 3 (45:06):
Yeah, and that's not even the that's not even that
well you're now you're saying, is the penetration wouldn't give
her an organ which as an ally, I know that
it often does. Well.
Speaker 1 (45:15):
I know from talking to people that you've had sex
with that you are not what you're doing doesn't result
in a lot of orgasms.
Speaker 3 (45:22):
You That is not true. That is I can't. I'm
thinking about the people you could.
Speaker 2 (45:30):
Have read a letter I was gonna say, Neil, I
was very pleased with your sex advice for guys.
Speaker 1 (45:36):
Also very very Yes, I actually was too. You were
paying attention and you were really listening, and that's a
good quality in a man.
Speaker 3 (45:43):
Thank you. Yeah, I thought it was, so it's great
to hear it.
Speaker 2 (45:47):
Nicky says dear Chelsea. I've been dating my boyfriend for
almost six years. We're in a very serious relationship, live together,
and are in the midst of preparing to get engaged
and build a life together. The only problem is that
he is a Republican and I am a Democrat. We
both come from a very liberal metropolitan city, and when
we first started dating, I was naive enough to think
that everyone I knew was naturally a Democrat. I remember
(46:09):
during the midterms asking if he wanted to come with
me to vote, and he said he didn't want to
get caught in the rain.
Speaker 1 (46:15):
That's good for Republicans, Yes, exactly. I know.
Speaker 2 (46:20):
I was young, dumb and in love and I just
didn't notice. We've had our ups and downs with politics,
and certainly had our growing pains, and even broke up
twice over it. So she goes on to say like
he's generally really respectful with her and respects her opinions,
he actually wants to talk about things with her, and
she gets very sort of like upset with him and emotional,
but she says, other than that, he is a really wonderful,
(46:41):
sweet person, extremely loving and generous. His friends are even
very respectful with their Republican beliefs. And the only problem
is I can't help but feel that I'm doing the
world at a service by being with a Republican. Is
he being the bigger person by accepting me and my
views and I'm being closed minded? Nikki?
Speaker 3 (46:59):
This is one of these things where it's like if
two women who I'm assuming are liberal or Democrats, right,
what do you think when a guy's Republican? Do you
just assume that what assumptions do you make?
Speaker 1 (47:12):
Great question? I assume that they are cheap? I assume
that they're not as open minded with the LGBTQ community.
You know, they have their own opinions about anti trans
is a big one. And also what about abortion? I
mean yeah, you know, yeah, I was just gonna say, like,
you're taking away people's rights, actively supporting a party that's
taking away women's and other people's rights. So I don't
(47:35):
really I couldn't do it be with a Republican, but
I would like to tell people that it's possible. I
would like to have the feelings that, yes, you can
make it work if you love him and he's respectful
about your opinions. But it is a major value differentiation
when you're talking about human rights.
Speaker 3 (47:57):
Yeah, so yeah, I.
Speaker 1 (47:58):
Mean that is that.
Speaker 3 (47:59):
That's what I'm curious about. It's like, what you know,
It's like some people are Republican, but they're like not
about certain things, And is it worth making a distinction,
and is it just like, well, do you think I
should stay? Should I should? Twenty six thousand women in
Texas have to give birth because of rape, you know
that statistic that in the last eighteen months. Thinks so
(48:21):
like oh God, like shit, that's so dire and depressing
and you're like, do you you know, do you support that?
Because you do support that, it seems highly improbable.
Speaker 1 (48:33):
And I don't What do you think about people who
say that they don't support that but they're still a Republican.
Speaker 3 (48:40):
I think that they are naive.
Speaker 1 (48:43):
Yes, I agree with you, you know what.
Speaker 3 (48:45):
I mean, Like, I think they're either naive at best
and lying at worst. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (48:50):
Yeah, you know it's a hard answer. It's another this
is another DeBie downer. I would say, I can't do it.
If you could do it, great, if you could get
past it, great, if you can just divorce yourself and departmentalize,
you know, your relationship in that way that you guys
aren't going to agree that I'm that, then good for you.
But I wouldn't be able to do that.
Speaker 2 (49:07):
Yeah, and I mean asterisk. If he's not voting at all,
does it matter? I mean it does, but well, you know,
is he not voting or did he not in the midterms?
But if he's not voting at all, then, like, I
don't know, maybe it's less of an issue.
Speaker 1 (49:20):
Yeah, if he's not voting, great, well.
Speaker 3 (49:22):
Yeah, if we can count on it raining every election,
and then this is this relationship is definitely going to work.
But the minute the sunshines, watch out.
Speaker 1 (49:34):
Neil. You were a delight.
Speaker 3 (49:36):
It was great to spend time with you.
Speaker 1 (49:38):
I loved having you on and everyone you have to
watch his special and then you have to watch his
other specials because you are a fucking very talented man
and you're very funny. And it's called Crazy Good and
it's on Netflix. And Neil also has a podcast called Blocks.
Speaker 3 (49:52):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (49:53):
What kind of things do you talk about on What
do you talk about on Blocks?
Speaker 3 (49:55):
Yeah? Well, so I had a special called Blocks where
I talked about my emotional blocks, right, and then so
now I have other comedians come on, and like Letterman
came on, and Bill Burr and Bert and Tom and
you know, Jimmy Carr, just a bunch of people, hopefully Chelsea,
Nikki Glazer, whatever, Trevor Noah just did good people do
(50:17):
it and they're kind of very sweetly emotionally forthcoming.
Speaker 1 (50:20):
Oh clear.
Speaker 3 (50:21):
So it's interesting. Yeah, like it's you would actually be like,
you'll probably like more of most of the people more
than you thought you did, because they you actually hear like, oh,
Tom Segura was sad to go on the road because
he was going to miss his kid. Oh shit, like
that letterman didn't leave the studio until the sun went
(50:42):
down if he had a bad show. And I was like, Dave,
that's like eight thirty nine, and he goes, no, we're
talking ten thirty eleven as an adult. Just shit that
I've never heard people say.
Speaker 1 (50:52):
It was he also fucking his assistant.
Speaker 3 (50:54):
If you think I didn't see you, think that joke
didn't come into the teleprompter else when he said it
and I didn't say it, Chelsea. Not every joke has
to be said, Chelsea.
Speaker 1 (51:07):
Okay, Well, Neil, that sounds like a great podcast. I
would love to be on anytime.
Speaker 3 (51:12):
But you're inviting hit me up, don't threaten me with
a good time.
Speaker 1 (51:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (51:17):
Well, we're going to get to the bottom of you.
Speaker 1 (51:18):
We're going to get back to the bottom of your
ally ship is.
Speaker 3 (51:21):
What We're going to get to the bottom, right we are?
Speaker 1 (51:22):
Thank you, Neil.
Speaker 3 (51:24):
It was great to spend having by. Are you guys? Bye?
Speaker 2 (51:26):
Thanks Maye.
Speaker 1 (51:28):
Okay, guys, So for stand Up, we added a second
show in Sydney, and we added a second show in
Prior Lake, Minnesota, which is now going to be May
twenty fourth. We added the Santa Barbara Bowl, which is
so fun. I performed there last year. That's August seventeenth,
the Santa Barbara Bowl. We added a second show at
(51:48):
Santa Rosa on August second, and we added two dates
at Hawaii. Guys. I'm coming to Hawaii on July nineteenth
to CO Who Louis. I'm gonna be at CA Who Louis,
and then I'm coming on July twenty at to Honolulu.
And oh I just added another date on August one Auburn, Washington.
(52:11):
So and all my Australia and New Zealand dates are up,
and I will be announcing a European tour shortly and
May third, which is my mother's birthday, Norman, Oklahoma, so come.
Speaker 2 (52:26):
If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email
at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be
sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited
and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law and
be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot
com
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