Disagreeing with Isla Fisher

Isla Fisher joins Chelsea to talk about relying on friendships with women after divorce, ignoring her kids from the bathtub, and how Chelsea lost a closetful of Stella McCartney clothes.  Then: A mom dreads the boring parents at a play-date. A sister wants to parent her brother’s out-of-control kids. And a caller takes umbrage with her sister’s treatment, but Chelsea + Isla disagree on a plan of action.

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Executive Producer Catherine Law

Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
I just announced all my tour dates. They just went
on sale. It's called the Heighth and Mighty Tour. I
will be starting debuting my new material in February of
next year. So I'm coming to Washington, d c Norfolk, Virginia, Madison, Wisconsin, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Detroit, Michigan, Cleveland, Columbus,
and Cincinnati, Ohio, Denver, Colorado, Portland, Maine, Providence, Rhode Island, Springfield, Massachusetts, Chicago,

(00:27):
of Course, Indianapolis, Indiana, Louisville, Kentucky, Albuquerque, Masa, Arizona, Kansas City, Missouri,
Saint Louis, Missouri, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Nashville, Tennessee, Charlotte, North Carolina, Durham,
North of Carolina, Saratoga, California, Monterey, California, Modeesto, California, and

(00:48):
port Chester, New York, Boston, Massachusetts, Portland, Oregon, and Seattle, Washington.
I will be touring from February through June. Those are
the cities that I'm in, So go get your tickets now.
If you want good seats and you want to come
see me perform, I will be on the High and
Mighty Tour. Hi Catherine, Hello, Chelsea, Hello, Hello, I'm on

(01:13):
a real bender this week.

Speaker 2 (01:16):
I'm just hearing about all your travels. You're going everywhere.
You're going to Antarctica. I can't keep track of you.

Speaker 3 (01:21):
I've had a busy I haven't even gotten that far
to Antarctica. Hopefully a suitcase shows up to show me
what's when I'm bringing, because I have been out. I
did a show at the Improv that I went into
a party for Mark Maren's podcast and oh that's fun.
And then I was with Fortune and Osco and then
Zoe my one of my poopsies. And then last night

(01:44):
I went to go see my friend open for the
Queen of the Stone Ages and then we went out.

Speaker 4 (01:49):
So I am on a bender.

Speaker 5 (01:51):
I love it.

Speaker 2 (01:52):
And I'm sure you haven't slept. You're like here with
me until now.

Speaker 4 (01:55):
I'm sleep.

Speaker 5 (01:56):
I sleep, I sleep, I sleep.

Speaker 1 (01:58):
You know I'm never fully rested because I just like
to well complain.

Speaker 5 (02:03):
You love to burn the candle at both ends.

Speaker 1 (02:05):
Yes, but I am leaving for Antiarctica on Saturday morning,
and there's lots of interesting activities.

Speaker 4 (02:10):
They think there's going to be.

Speaker 1 (02:11):
Theme nights there, and they think that I'm gonna have
read that part of the invitation. But that is going
to be something that I miss. I went to Maria
Shriver's seventieth birthday this weekend and it was a seventies
theme party, and I had just come from the Texas
Book Fair. So it was perfect because I was like, oh,
I didn't see that part of the Everyone's like, where's
your outfit? I'm like, I didn't know this was a
theme party.

Speaker 5 (02:31):
Also, like, you don't really dress up, so even if you.

Speaker 4 (02:33):
Did, that's exactly right. I'm not dressing up for theme parties.

Speaker 1 (02:37):
I have to bring so many puppy and ski clothes
down to Antarctica.

Speaker 4 (02:42):
Like, I don't have room for theme night activities.

Speaker 5 (02:44):
No, ain't. Nobody got time for that.

Speaker 4 (02:46):
So I do me and everyone else does that exactly.

Speaker 2 (02:50):
And you'll probably be in bed with a book by
that anyway, so it's fine.

Speaker 5 (02:53):
Yeah, have you been to Antarctica before?

Speaker 4 (02:55):
No, I have not, which is a weird question to ask.

Speaker 1 (02:58):
I don't think people go on multiple trips Antarctica. But
unless you're like an exit, you know, unless you're an explorer,
which you know. I'm a life explorer, but no, this
will be my first trip to Antarctica. We have a
special guest, a surprise special guest coming, and I'm going
with my friend, but some guy I met in Vegas
has decided to join us, so he got a ticket
in Christ coming too.

Speaker 4 (03:18):
So there could be so many different developments happening. There
could be penetration in Antarctica.

Speaker 2 (03:24):
Oh oh, oh my gosh, well that you're going to
study like LSD and psychedelics and then also the effects
of penetration in Antarcopica.

Speaker 1 (03:30):
And we're going to be studying LSD and the effects
of psychedelics alongside penguins.

Speaker 4 (03:35):
So who knows what could happen.

Speaker 1 (03:36):
There's polar plunging, there's expeditions every day. My friends like,
are we going to go skiing? I'm like, I don't
think there's a ski rental shop in Antarctica, but I mean,
and I'm gonna flat. I think I think of it
as very flat. They have major crevasses and mountains, and
I think, so I don't think it's flat, But who
knows what I know? I mean, it's usually way off base.

Speaker 5 (03:58):
You didn't read that, I did, No, Well, you know what.
I'm so excited for our guest day. She is so fun.

Speaker 4 (04:04):
Yes, yes, one of my one of my dear friends.

Speaker 1 (04:07):
I love her. So you know our next guest today
from wedding crashers arrested development and then now you see me.
Now you don't franchise, Please welcome Isla Fisher.

Speaker 4 (04:18):
Okay, we're here.

Speaker 5 (04:19):
With I'm going to shut the door.

Speaker 1 (04:21):
Maybe relax. I can't do It's like pre ejaculation, pre ejaculation.
I got so excited.

Speaker 5 (04:28):
I'm a rectile dysfunctioned. I'm like, what am I going
to say in this? I'm my exact opposite.

Speaker 1 (04:34):
Don't worry. We're going to guide you.

Speaker 5 (04:36):
I'm going to guide you.

Speaker 1 (04:37):
Thanks, we're in safe hands. How long are you here for?

Speaker 5 (04:40):
Till tomorrow?

Speaker 4 (04:41):
And then you go back to London?

Speaker 5 (04:42):
Back to London. You have been there a lot and
not texted me, and I see on your social media.
I'm nice to you every time i'm there because people
tell me, like.

Speaker 1 (04:52):
Chelsea, I said, come to Glastonbury.

Speaker 5 (04:54):
I said, yeah, you look like you had fun. It
was Stella's birthday the other day.

Speaker 1 (04:58):
Oh was it?

Speaker 4 (05:00):
I didn't I didn't know.

Speaker 5 (05:01):
I didn't know.

Speaker 4 (05:01):
Though she face timed me.

Speaker 1 (05:03):
She tried to convince me to come to New York
two weeks ago for her Climate Award and she almost
got me. I'm so I'm so easy to like rep
in shit, I realized. I was like. I was sitting
there with her, I'm talking to her face timing, and
I'm like, she just come in for one night, just
come for one night time. Jane vond is gaming the award,
It'll be the three And I was like and then
I'm like, no, I'm not coming in for a night.

(05:23):
I'm like this this strong arming.

Speaker 5 (05:26):
Get yourself to Paris my fashion.

Speaker 1 (05:28):
Oh let's start this conversation houting Stella McCart. Now you know,
we love Stella. But Stella is always always asking for
someone to go somewhere to do something. And then I
say to her, I'm like, okay, she asked me. Last
year I left, I was in London. She's like, you know,
what would you do this campaign with me where you're
just nude. You're the only one who has the guts

(05:48):
to be nude. No for you know, for her veganism
or something about you know, saving that. I always lie
and tell her I'm not eating meat, and then I
do because it's easier, right, It's easier than having the common.

Speaker 5 (06:00):
Pether around her. Forget it?

Speaker 1 (06:02):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, She doesn't like any of that stuff.
But to her credit, she does incredible once she made
all over clothes without animals, and she's very moral about
the climate and about.

Speaker 5 (06:11):
Yeah and activism. She says what she means, she does,
she stands by. She's not one of those kind of
hypocritical activists.

Speaker 1 (06:18):
But as soon as I told her that she had
to pay for my hair, makeup and flight and hotel,
I didn't hear from her for like three weeks. I
didn't hear another word about it.

Speaker 4 (06:26):
So that's Stella and Nutshell.

Speaker 5 (06:29):
I didn't say that everybody.

Speaker 1 (06:31):
I didn't say Ella. I still love the handbag, said
Chelsea Handler.

Speaker 4 (06:34):
This is Chelsea Handler saying it.

Speaker 1 (06:36):
But at Glastonbury this year, because I texted you because
now you're living in London, and I was like, come
to Glastonbury. So we all stayed at this hotel that's
like forty five minutes away, Okay, And we get there
and Stella had sent all of us clothes, and so
my closet is filled with all of Stella's clothes and
I'm so excited. None of the sizes fit me, they no,
none of nothing she sent me fit. So I left

(06:57):
the hotel and I left all the clothes in the closet,
and then the woman that runs the hotel texted me
and said, hey, you left all these Stella McCartney clothes
in the closet. I said, give them to the staff.
I told her that they don't fit me. I told
her to look at Isla's.

Speaker 5 (07:10):
Like, but you finished wearing them, sent them back. I
would never have got to get Wait.

Speaker 1 (07:16):
Wait then a month later, my assistant texts me and
says Stella's assistant is asking where the clothes are. I'm like,
I left them in the hotel so that somebody could
make some good use out of them, because it wasn't
going to be me. Listen, I've told to getting turned.

Speaker 5 (07:32):
If this stays in the podcast.

Speaker 1 (07:33):
You're innocent. You're innocent. You're not saying anything. It's just me,
So you're safe. Isla Isa's here to promote her new movie.
Now you see me. Now you don't you missed one
of these because there's this is the third most part.

Speaker 4 (07:44):
Right, You've been pregnant a lot in your life, but
be honest.

Speaker 5 (07:48):
Pregnant continued, some people love to work. I just like,
have another baby and no it'll notice.

Speaker 1 (07:52):
But now you're free to work because the kids are
growing up.

Speaker 5 (07:55):
It's a grown up and you know, and I'm a
new chapter in my life and I'm just trying to
kind of re establish who I am as somebody who
enjoys performing and writing. And it's like been a whole thing.
It's like I've got a whole new identity.

Speaker 1 (08:07):
I know, I love it. And you filmed that fun
movie with Leslie with.

Speaker 5 (08:12):
Michelle Bach, so you should have been in that.

Speaker 1 (08:14):
I know I should have been in it. Nobody ever
asked me to do movies. I never get it.

Speaker 5 (08:18):
I would have been so we had so much fun.
We shot it in Australia's called Spa Weekend. It's John
Lucas and Scott Moore who did Bad Moms and The Hangover,
and it's just like, you know, real like really funny
ladies having a really fun time. Yeah, although there was
a tornado or a cyclone rather in Australia, Australia while
we were there, and we were on lockdown in this
hotel with like Paul Rudd, who else was there, like

(08:39):
Jack Black, the cast of Like Anaconda, the cast of
Like There was basically four movies, so imagine it's like
what's that movie with Ruben where they're all on an island. Anyway,
imagine a bunch of sort of actors, precious actors in
a hotel shut down for like six.

Speaker 1 (08:54):
Days, actors from all different movies.

Speaker 5 (08:57):
Yes, oh yeah, it went from Raised two. Let's just
say there wasn't enough to kill her in the bar
to keep everybody happy.

Speaker 1 (09:05):
Is it fun for you to shoot in Australia because
you grew you grew up in Australia, but you're you
didn't move to Australia until what you were six? Yeah,
and you're Scottish.

Speaker 5 (09:15):
Yeah, I have like a super complicated cultural identity because like,
my parents are Scottish, but I was born in Oman
and I was raised between Iran and Sarawak and Brunei,
and then we kind of moved back to Cambridge, England randomly,
and then we immigrated to Australia, to Western Australia, which
is the most isolated city in the world for reasons
my parents have never quite disclosed.

Speaker 1 (09:35):
Why did you guys move with so much? Was your
dad in the military.

Speaker 5 (09:38):
Around that time there was some sort of talk of
a Cold War. I mean it sounds so paranoid but
my mom, My mom was convinced that our lives were
there was going to be a nuclear war and that
we were safe in Australia.

Speaker 4 (09:52):
Really yeah, but yeah.

Speaker 1 (09:54):
But so why were you born in Oman?

Speaker 5 (09:56):
Who was my dad? For the un and so he
when you Yeah, so he basically was in banking, but
he would travel to you know, we were always in
you know, Papua New Guinea. We were always kind of
growing up and in different I guess cultures until we
got till I started like primary school, maybe like year two,
and then we were sort of solid until I obviously

(10:16):
then traveled the world and became a clown.

Speaker 1 (10:19):
Oh that's right, we went to clown school too. First
of all, how does it work with all of your
family reunions when you get all together, can you understand
how word anybody fucking says?

Speaker 5 (10:27):
No, it's definitely and my mother's on her third husband,
it's definitely shake yes, yes, And so it's definitely like
a very much a dysfunctional but deeply loving, very you know,
multi generational and quite eccentric group. But there's a lot
of love. There's a lot of love, and we will
put a lot of effort into seeing each other.

Speaker 1 (10:45):
There's a lot of love in dysfunction. Yeah, there really is. Yeah,
I mean that's what it is. It's dysfunction, because otherwise
if it's not dysfunctional. I mean, I don't know anybody
who has a normal functional upbringing and that was like,
oh my really, unless like some older white men will
say that, they'll.

Speaker 5 (11:00):
Be like they're just lying, yeah, yeah, are they?

Speaker 4 (11:02):
Or do they not notice how the dysfunction?

Speaker 1 (11:05):
Because I wonder if some people don't notice the dysfunction,
you know, like women are much more in tune with dysfunction.

Speaker 5 (11:10):
I think, Well, I do think a lot of people
do notice it, but they choose to ignore it and
it makes them feel better to feel wholesome about their
family relations rather than you know, to sort of accept
the fact that we might all be, you know, broken
in different ways and that that's okay.

Speaker 1 (11:27):
Yeah, and it's okay to remain broken, like you're not
fixed in life ever, Like just when you think you've
got it now and you get fucking hit.

Speaker 4 (11:36):
In the face.

Speaker 1 (11:36):
Yes, I mean that. I speak from personal experience when
I say that, I mean I feel like the last
book I wrote was so about female empowerment and like
just really how to get to know yourself, how to
love yourself. And then I fucking I am literally in
the middle of like a nervous breakdown because of this
stupid fucking house I'm building has cost me so much drama,
really drama, an emotional toll. Yes, and it's like, Wow,

(11:58):
I really thought I had fucking shit figured out.

Speaker 5 (12:01):
Wait, but what could possibly cause you that much drama
with the house?

Speaker 4 (12:04):
The house I bought from RFK Junior.

Speaker 5 (12:06):
Oh, it's curse.

Speaker 1 (12:08):
Yeah, No, it's definitely curse.

Speaker 5 (12:10):
Just Thailand Oll just scrubbed out for it.

Speaker 1 (12:13):
I mean there will be by the time I get
done with it. Yeah, I took Thailand all throughout all
of my pregnancies. I want to say on the record,
So what do you feel like? Do you feel Australian?
You must, right, I think.

Speaker 5 (12:25):
My sensibility is kind of Australian, Like I'm Gregarias some
kind of like laid back in some regards. But then
I do have that kind of you know, my mom
was very she was on the first woman that went
to Cambridge. He's very educated. My father's very I come
from a kind of like a sort of in a
way bit of an academic background. So the Australian thing
is a little more like I feel like I identify
more with like the surfing and the outdoor lifestyle, and honestly,

(12:48):
just like Australians are just really friendly. Yeah, they are friends,
they are They're really friendly.

Speaker 4 (12:54):
Do you think people are friendly in London?

Speaker 5 (12:56):
I definitely think that it's a different kind of friendly.

Speaker 1 (12:59):
Well, you went from LA to London. Yeah, so LA friendly.

Speaker 5 (13:03):
Definitely friendly. I've still my LA mates. I love them.
I pop into town for a few days and I
get bombarded with like love text.

Speaker 1 (13:09):
LA's more fun to visit than to live.

Speaker 4 (13:12):
I think.

Speaker 5 (13:12):
Yeah, maybe you're right, particularly post the apocalypse.

Speaker 1 (13:16):
Yeah, yeah, I mean right now you must be grateful
that you're not living in the States during this kind of.

Speaker 5 (13:21):
Definitely, yeah, it's definitely. It feels like, oh, it just
feels like everybody's got a very loud opinion and they
want to discuss it, and there seems to be you know,
in London, people are a little more you know, people
don't reveal their political beliefs, necessarily their religious beliefs. They're
very careful to put civility and connection above like, whereas
here in LA sometimes it feels a little like someone's

(13:42):
opinions become their identity, and therefore if you don't share
their values or their opinions in their mind, that you
therefore don't like them. There's not a sort of separation
between church and state, so to speak. And I find
that is like now, I just don't want to sort
of I just don't want to fight or have a
different opinion. I just want to connect with people. I
don't know whether it's like with ever I've been through
for the last two years, but I just want to
like feel like we're all just together in this, which

(14:05):
we are.

Speaker 1 (14:06):
Yeah, we are all together in this. I agree with you. Yeah,
I mean I'm even guilty of it myself listening to
you talk about it, because you know, I can, like,
you know, if I hear somebody is you know, a
Trump support or something, I'm like, no, no, no, I
don't want anything to do with that.

Speaker 4 (14:18):
I can't.

Speaker 1 (14:18):
I need peace, like I need my own peace. But
at the same time, you know, it's nice to not
even have that be part of the conversation.

Speaker 5 (14:24):
Yeah, because yeah, and you don't really want to isolate
yourself and find yourself in a bubble where you're only
with light minded people. Only because then you create an
emotional bias where you only filter everything you hear or
read or see through the lens of this is already
my decided opinion. And as we know, the best thing
about having opinions is they're flexible and open to new information.
And so it's important to keep conversations going and not

(14:46):
just get off on your own little tangent and think
that you're right. You are always right. That's what I
love about you. You've never been wrong in any way.
I appreciate it.

Speaker 4 (14:55):
Yeah, I appreciate you acknowledging that.

Speaker 5 (14:56):
I've known it my whole life. Every time you say something,
I'm like, yep, that's it.

Speaker 6 (15:00):
Right.

Speaker 1 (15:01):
The last time I saw you, I bumped into you
at Wimbledon.

Speaker 5 (15:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (15:04):
Yeah, and you were having a great time.

Speaker 5 (15:06):
I had had.

Speaker 1 (15:07):
So much fun tennis. I fucking love going to tennis.
I love day drinking, and I love socializing. Yes, and
I love that tennis is so civilized, you know what.

Speaker 4 (15:17):
It's not like a.

Speaker 1 (15:18):
Rugby match or well, the golf that happened the Ryder
Cup was so embarrassing on America's behalf because people were screaming, noelling,
that's golf.

Speaker 4 (15:25):
I don't watch golf.

Speaker 5 (15:26):
But also there's something about I think it's a collective
silence of tennis, Like you're watching a game where there
are thousands of you watching and they're not saying, they're
not you can't even hear them breathe when the serve happens,
because they don't want to put off the player. And
that is just like as someone who's done like a
you know, a ton of theater when I was younger
and just like been on a stage and had to
like cry in a scene and had like crew talking

(15:46):
someone opening chips. It's like an amazing thing when you've
captured an audience and you just all are so respectful
that you're going to be just so quiet. The quiet
is just amazing, like communal energy. Everyone's focused in the same.

Speaker 1 (15:59):
Place, especially Wimbledon, because there's a level of decorum that
supersedes like any of the other Grand Slams, because Wimbledon
is like a little stuffy, but I love that kind
of stuff.

Speaker 4 (16:09):
It's not stuffy in a negative way.

Speaker 1 (16:10):
No, it's fun.

Speaker 5 (16:11):
It's like pompous and ritual. And although a ginger lady,
a middle aged ginger lady apparently fainted this Wimbledon. She
was in the overhead light of the sun and there
wasn't enough I guess water brought to her. And of
course everyone's text me like is it you were you
taken out? Oh? I know, I was in the VIP bitch.
I had a shade, a cannoby, a bull of my way.

Speaker 1 (16:33):
Oh yeah, that's right. I saw you get after those cannabies.
She was like, is that a cannape? And I went
after it. She was in a different sweet came to
see us in our suite or maybe we were in
the same suite fire apart too. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah,
I loved it.

Speaker 4 (16:45):
I loved it.

Speaker 1 (16:46):
How is your time in London?

Speaker 5 (16:47):
Can I just go back to Cannapase? Love a CANape?
You know what? I'm not into the cheese and pineapple
skewer and triple layer dips. There's some things that just
should never be food combos that should never be enjoyed together.
And what Wimbledon does well if they don't mix flavors,
it's like a strawberry cream or it's like a cucumber
and bread. It's like, keep it simple, people.

Speaker 1 (17:06):
Yeah, I don't like pineapple with anything, like I don't
want pineapple mixed with hot food. No like no, no, no, no.

Speaker 5 (17:14):
You just it's very different pineapple. No, that's cheese and
pineapple to skewer is a dry, cold, unpleasant, it's visually unattractive.
It's it's very different to a melty, gooey you know.
I don't know right now. I just want to say, she's.

Speaker 1 (17:34):
Always right, She's right.

Speaker 4 (17:35):
What are you cooking?

Speaker 1 (17:36):
Do you cook? You do?

Speaker 5 (17:38):
I love to cook?

Speaker 4 (17:38):
What do you cook?

Speaker 6 (17:39):
Well?

Speaker 5 (17:39):
At the moment, I'm big into what do I do
at the moment? I mean, I'm a mom of three,
so it's kind of like I get up and kind
of like sort my week out. So I freeze a
couple of tomato sauces, I'll freeze a chicken stock. I'll
do things in advance, and then I'm just like simple,
super simple like pastes me anything. I can cook anything. Okay.

Speaker 1 (17:55):
I want to talk to you about being a mother,
Like what kind of mother do you like?

Speaker 4 (17:58):
What do you think you're for? Power as a mom?
Is I definitely as a mom?

Speaker 5 (18:03):
I should say I definitely do not have a superpower?

Speaker 7 (18:06):
You do?

Speaker 1 (18:07):
All women are super have superpowers? And do your kids
call you mom or mom?

Speaker 5 (18:11):
Momsy or mom mom yeah, or mom yeah, no, mummy
actually mummy, yeah.

Speaker 4 (18:16):
Yeah, Mummy like British.

Speaker 5 (18:18):
Right, yeah, yeah, I think they is that British. I
think that's more Australian, is it, Well, I think it's
British and Australia.

Speaker 1 (18:24):
Yeah, because everyone in America it's mom.

Speaker 5 (18:27):
Yeah. But what do you think I'm good at as
a mother?

Speaker 1 (18:29):
What do you think your strengths as a mother are?

Speaker 5 (18:31):
And it's really interesting the Ussex. Obviously, all I think
about the things that I regret when I go to
bed at night, that I wish i'd handle differently. I
think overall my strength is that I have tried very
much to reinforce anything they do, to sort of align
it with you must feel really good about how you
did this. You must be really proud of you. So
they're not searching for external validation. They don't need Mummy

(18:52):
likes my picture, therefore my picture is good. No, I'm
proud that I drew a picture, Therefore my picture is good.
I just try to sort of separate and create a
world in which that a they listen to the voice
of they have a beautiful relationship with themselves.

Speaker 6 (19:05):
Right.

Speaker 5 (19:06):
Maybe my goal not saying it's a superpower. And then
my other superpower is maybe like I'm really good at
like switching off, like pretending that I can't hear anything,
like just getting in the bath, like mam mad, I'm like,
I'm in the bath. And by the way, it's a
great technique because when they finally get to you, they've
resolved it. They've sorted out who has the TV remote,

(19:27):
they know where that apple juice is. They didn't need
me to jump out of the bus, scamper downstairs find
everything and a lot. You know, what you don't do
for your kids, they do for themselves. But Russia.

Speaker 1 (19:39):
So when you were a little girl, did you envision
yourself having three children?

Speaker 5 (19:43):
I always wanted kids. I was a nanny when I
was seventeen for a three week old baby, and I
used to babysit my niece's when I was about, you know, twelve,
and so I always love kids. I've always loved kids.
I just always think like it sounds affable. When you
get to my age, I feel like I've met so
many amazing people. And not to say that everybody's really similar,

(20:04):
but you kind of realize it's you can kind of
predict someone's nature almost right away after meeting them, or
at least what they're like. But a kid is like
it's like opening up a present. You have no idea
what's inside. They're just so original. They think in this
like totally unique, magical way. And I just love I
love their naivete and I love their kind of They
just say the truth. They I find children amazing.

Speaker 4 (20:27):
Yeah, yeah, her face is like no.

Speaker 1 (20:29):
And I like to hear mothers talk about loving being
a mother. I think it's really important because and you
love their friends as well.

Speaker 5 (20:36):
You have this like community of like become teenagers. You
don't just have yours. They come home with like four
looking at the ground. It's like it's amazing.

Speaker 1 (20:45):
It's like, how do you handle social media with your kids?

Speaker 5 (20:48):
I mean it's very difficult. That whole thing is just and.

Speaker 1 (20:50):
That's something that I like just don't understand how parents
can even deal with.

Speaker 5 (20:54):
I mean, we all know the statistics. There's nothing I
can say that it's original on that. And we all
know that the benefits, the caaalistic benefits that are being
made from targeting women and their body images, and how
the algorithms work and how they impact our self esteem,
and really what you can do is flag that. But
it's a fine line. If you isolate them completely, then
socially they're not necessarily in the same conversation as their mates,

(21:17):
and so then you're just basically creating a situation where
they can't really. I mean, they all have these platforms
where they arrange things and they meet up, but it's
terribly cruel, like you can see who your best friend is.
And I mean, I my personality would have not survived
social media as a kid.

Speaker 1 (21:35):
Why do you handle social media as for yourself as
an adult in this industry?

Speaker 5 (21:39):
I mean, my feelings do get hurt, Like I'll pop
on something and see everybody went somewhere and I wasn't there,
Or I do get a little bit of that, or
I see somebody and other actors out there doing something
and I'm like, oh my goodness, I haven't even showered yet.
It's three o'clock and someone's come out with a best
selling book and a like re brand and is now
like the ambassador for China.

Speaker 1 (22:00):
Am I doing?

Speaker 5 (22:00):
But I think ultimately you just got to just try
not to tune it out. I think just like at
the moment, there's just so much noise on that platform,
Like whoever has the most explosive opinion, whoever has the
most extreme hyperbole or uses the most like has the
like the wackiest opinion. It floats up, hits the top
of the algorithm and everyone sees it. So people are

(22:21):
motivated to be super loud about things that just like
we used to just like be chill over right now.
That makes me feel really like anxious, So I'm not
on it that much, to be honest.

Speaker 1 (22:31):
Yeah, it's good to taking the breaks from social media.

Speaker 4 (22:34):
Are like you just your level of happiness is and.

Speaker 1 (22:37):
Finally, immediately, exactly immediately, like I was with some girls
in Canada. I went to Taffino and I was I
was like, I just I'm so I was so stressed
about my fucking house and all the money out the
window and all.

Speaker 4 (22:48):
I know it sounds stupid, but it's.

Speaker 1 (22:50):
Just it's just like I feel like I'm being robbed,
do you know what I mean? Like over and over
and over again, and that like no one really has
any respect for my mental well being, like the emotional
like everyone's like it's just a house, It's just a house.

Speaker 4 (23:03):
I'm like, it's worse than that.

Speaker 1 (23:05):
There's there's a grounding aspect that's missing, like you're you're groundless,
you're without anywhere to you know, to land to land.

Speaker 5 (23:14):
Yeah. I really do agree with that. And I was
thinking the other day when I had a bit of
a rocky day, you know when you get jet lags
and you're awake in the middle of the night and
everything feels much worse than it is. And I did
think I was trying to sort of ground myself and
ask myself, like where am I happy? Like, come on, Isla,
where are you happy? And I realized, like I did
circle back to when I am in my house, I'm
always happy.

Speaker 4 (23:34):
Oh really in your house in London?

Speaker 1 (23:35):
Yeah, and I.

Speaker 5 (23:37):
Make a home, but like wherever, like my things are
and my family is and I can make a cup
of tea and I don't know, it's just something about that,
So I get that i'd be really discongobulated to it's terrible.

Speaker 1 (23:48):
Yeah, yeah, So how has been How has it been
living in London? Because you have a group of friends
here in la of course, and you have a group
of friends in London.

Speaker 5 (23:57):
My English friends, So it's so great that you have
friends everywhere. Well, I think there's something about when you
make a big switch in terms of like going from
being married and not being married, you are like naturally
you're just more drawn to people on it's hard to
sit with like smug married people when you're single.

Speaker 1 (24:12):
It's like it's hard.

Speaker 5 (24:13):
I just want to see you guys like, oh, honey,
do you need some block on? Like h no, So
I guess I'm now like my crew that I hang
out with in London. They're just a little more. They
have the same lifestyle that I do, their single moms
and it's really nice and it's really it's a different
I still love my LA friends obviously, but they're away
and they're my ride or dies are really here. But

(24:34):
I am enjoying like finding you know, commonality with this
new group of women and they're great. They women have
like got me through the last two years. My friendships
have been just so important to me and more. And
I keep talking about female friendship with all my friends
and every woman I meet, and we're all on the
same page.

Speaker 1 (24:52):
Yeah. I think as you get older, the more you
realize how kind of useless men.

Speaker 4 (24:57):
Because and how valuable women are.

Speaker 1 (25:00):
You know, gay men are useful and there are some
young men out there that are a little bit more.
They've gotten the software update that we talk about, Like
you need a software update after fifty as a straight
white man, you do you need an update. You don't
understand the way things are working. There's a shift happening,
and if you don't see it, then you're against us.
But it's just a coming of age kind of story
where you just realize how much more reliable women are,

(25:23):
how much more comforting women are, how much more insightful.
You know, you take something like, you know, we can
dissect something almost ad nauseum, but it's kind of fun
to dissect something and overanalyze the situation and get everyone's perspectives,
you know, like the way one person looks at something
is completely different. And instead of having like a flat reflection,

(25:44):
which is what a lot of men do, they kind
of just look at something and they're like, well, that's
brown and that's over there that I wouldn't think anything
more about it, And you're like, no, there's definitely more
to I mean, I know personally, like I can overcomplicate things,
you know what I mean, just for the sake of
kind of drama or conversation. But that's what being a
woman is. Yeah, sometimes it's having over complicating things.

Speaker 4 (26:05):
It's kind of and no one.

Speaker 1 (26:06):
Gets women like other women, So I totally you're not
the first person to come on here and say, yeah,
a lot of women feel that way and it's very
booying during difficult time.

Speaker 5 (26:16):
Oh my gosh, it's so it really is. I'm so grateful.

Speaker 1 (26:19):
And the other nice thing is meeting new friends as
you get older. Yeah, Like it's funny how you can
constantly make.

Speaker 5 (26:26):
At the beginning go hey, here's something about me. Like
sometimes you meet a new friend and they remember that
you have a new date work tomorrow, and they send
flowers and then they text you that it's one of
your kids birthday and you can just put the cabash
on it straight away and go, you can inundate me
with this amazing stuff. But I'm so disorganized and busy
that it's likely that I'm going to drop the ball
on your birthday. And if you still want a friendship

(26:47):
with me, I'm here, but please don't be disillusioned. Like
I'm so open about what my strengths are in friendship now,
I'm just like I'm just up front. It's like almost
like dating, but with women like I just go, Okay,
this is what I'm great at, this is what I'm
not great at, and like I just don't. It's not
that same feeling that when I was younger my friendships,
I was always like everybody remembered that we were supposed
to do this, and I got the day wrong, and

(27:08):
you know all of that stuff right right right.

Speaker 1 (27:10):
Well you have three children also, and yeah, anyone's expecting
that they're an idiot anyway, you know.

Speaker 4 (27:16):
I like the idea.

Speaker 1 (27:17):
I was like sending flowers the day of a new job.
I'm like, who's doing that? No, people do.

Speaker 5 (27:22):
That's amazing too. They're really thoughtful.

Speaker 1 (27:24):
Turns out there are people out there. So tell me
about this movie. Now do you see me?

Speaker 4 (27:30):
Now you don't?

Speaker 5 (27:31):
Yes, so little magic? We need magic?

Speaker 1 (27:33):
Yeah, well you're also well I was going to say,
I mean you went to clown school or mind school,
so that's not magic, but in my mind it is.

Speaker 5 (27:39):
Yeah, my mind, I can see you could draw to
a conclusion the totally different.

Speaker 1 (27:44):
Magicians are over there on that side of the room.

Speaker 5 (27:46):
Well, let me help you out a little. They're very
different crafts and but they do perform a similar function,
Like acting. We're playing make believe, and there is that
suspension reality, and obviously what we love about magic is
this like kind of conflict in beliefs, like here's something
that you know to be real, but then your eyes
are deceiving you and you're seeing something different. And I
think that conflict does create a kind of appetite to

(28:06):
watch our story and our stories full of great magic.
And I play Henley and.

Speaker 4 (28:10):
The magic is real.

Speaker 5 (28:11):
In the movie, we had world class magicians that came
and taught us everything. Obviously some of it's enhanced, but yeah,
we worked really hard on the magic.

Speaker 2 (28:20):
Which, especially in the age of like AI and CG
and everything CGA, to have these like practical effects, it's
really exciting.

Speaker 5 (28:26):
It is really exciting, and honestly, I really enjoyed this
movie just because it's like the story's good. I don't
know whether you guys feel this, but I just feel
everything I've seen on streamers and stuff lately, I'm just like,
the plot's not quite there. This is like somebody actually
wrote and crafted a plot that's genuinely like if you
heard it as a radio play, you'd be gripped. As
well as it's fun and it's like, yeah, pretty people

(28:47):
doing tricks. We've got new horsemen, these amazing kids. They're
so talented.

Speaker 1 (28:51):
And did you work with some of the same people
that you worked with on the first lund same?

Speaker 5 (28:54):
Now you see me cast Handy's back.

Speaker 1 (28:56):
It's so sweet, isn't that fun? So work with the
same people, Like.

Speaker 5 (29:00):
Yeah, And by the way, we've all kind of become
like parodies of ourselves or like more extreme. You know
when people get older and they just get like become
a little more like a like an exaggerated Vergin version
of themselves life, like exaggerated.

Speaker 1 (29:12):
Virgin I like that you become an exaggerated Virgin I wish.

Speaker 5 (29:17):
But Dave is definitely like even more Dave and Jesse
and wood he's like so woody now like wood he
looks like he's playing.

Speaker 1 (29:23):
Woody wood He is really I mean, Woody is really woody.
Anytime you meet that guy, you're just like, wow, you
are really yourself. Yeah, that's so funny. We'll take a
break and we'll be right back with Isla Fisher. And
we're back with Islan Fisher.

Speaker 5 (29:43):
That was really so great.

Speaker 1 (29:44):
We all just took a bath together. That's what we
do on our commercial breaks.

Speaker 5 (29:47):
I braided your hair and then unbraided, and the kids
did not bother us.

Speaker 4 (29:52):
We take callers.

Speaker 1 (29:52):
We're gusing advice on this podcast.

Speaker 5 (29:55):
You guys should really together.

Speaker 1 (29:57):
You do have your ship together? Our ship together?

Speaker 5 (30:00):
Well, our first question.

Speaker 2 (30:01):
This one's just an email that comes from antisocial mom.

Speaker 5 (30:04):
Oh, dear Chelsea.

Speaker 2 (30:06):
My daughter is nine and has an adorably close relationship
with her bff, who is also a fantastic kid. Her parents, however,
being around them is absolutely brutal. They're socially awkward. We
have less than nothing in common, and trying to hold
a conversation with them is actual torture. The girls often
request plates on the weekend, which is usually fine if
it's a drop off situation, but some playdates involve a

(30:28):
lot of bopping around and going to the beach, so
I feel like I really should be there to help out.
They've offered to take the girl's solo, but I know
the extra hands and eyes would be appreciated. My daughter's
friend also deals with anxiety, so I can't take the
girl solo myself, which would be way more fun because
she likes a parent to be close. I know this
sounds shitty, but you don't understand the gravity of their brutalness.

(30:49):
The girls have been friends for four years, and believe me,
I have tried. So should I just microtius mushrooms and
go on the plates? Should I let them take the
girls solo?

Speaker 5 (30:58):
Ps? I love you and social mom.

Speaker 6 (31:01):
I do.

Speaker 1 (31:01):
This is another reason to not have children to deal
with other mothers. I mean, seriously, I don't know as
a mother, what would you What do you say to that?

Speaker 5 (31:09):
Isila, I think nine's really old to be going on
a play date for an extra set of hands. I'm sorry, mom,
but like, you're not changing a diaper unless there's a
food allergy, unless there's a body of water, which the
beach sounds shady, But like, I'm pretty certain your daughter
can advocate for her self that if there's an issue,
she'll not want to go on the playdate again. I'd
be like, goodbye, goodbye, have a cocktail and stay home.

Speaker 1 (31:31):
Yeah, I would say, listen, if those people are probably
feeling the same exact way that you're feeling, if the
interaction is that awkward, yeah, that they're gonna be to welcome.
They're gonna be yeah, welcoming your absence.

Speaker 5 (31:42):
YEA.

Speaker 1 (31:42):
So like if it's not a match. It's not a match.

Speaker 4 (31:45):
Don't push it.

Speaker 1 (31:46):
And if they're friends, like that friendship is enough. That
friendship probably provides enough to that family. They're happy their
daughter has a friendship that she wants to spend time
with them. And if they're willing to take them to
these places, great, then do that. And if she has
anxiety and can't go with you, even more of a
is that they should be taking them place.

Speaker 5 (32:02):
And also the daughter that's modeling not having anxiety and
having no issue with separation from her parents, there's a
great example on the daughter with anxiety. So you really
want to continue that because eventually they're headed in the
same direction that other shy goal will come out of
her shell and want to play date solo soon.

Speaker 1 (32:18):
Yeah, and also nine is too old to like why.

Speaker 5 (32:20):
Are you a girl? I mean, if we're talking about
a boy, but a nine year old girl, you know?

Speaker 4 (32:25):
All right?

Speaker 2 (32:26):
Well, our first caller is Nicole, She says, Dear Chelsea,
I've got big sis problems that go back to just
about the beginning of my lifetime and it has sucked hard.
I've only recently, after relearning to self soothe and healthy
ways become aware of just how much the bummer dynamics
between my sister and I have fucked shit up for
me big time. She's about a year older than me
and we're in our mid thirties. After a long phase

(32:46):
of numbing myself as an adult, I've come to realize
my sister's jealous, malicious and greedy energy still plays way
too large of a role in my life friendships, work, romance, family,
and I need big time relief from an asap. How
horrible is she? She would hit me when we were kids,
but more recently she named her daughter Collette. When I
told her I was honored she named her kid after me,

(33:06):
she laughed in my face and claimed she didn't. My
name is Nicole and it's a family name that goes
back generations. Clearly she'd like me to disappear and be
forgotten about. She's driven by sibling rivalry. But despite all this,
I love her. She's my sister. I've let go of
expecting our relationship to improve. Of course I still want that,
but I in no way have ever consented to her
rudely taking up so much space in my life. What's

(33:28):
a girl to do. I've confronted her about it, and
I've tried going to therapy with her. When I confronted her,
she called me crazy, and in therapy she acted manipulatively
and without any apparent interest in true healing, so I
ended it. Last I saw her and my beloved only
niece a nephew. Her gross Trump loving husband kicked me
out of their house for unapologetically being myself and she
yelled at me nonsense ego trip style on the porch.

Speaker 5 (33:51):
This was a couple of years ago.

Speaker 2 (33:52):
Since then, direct contact has included only happy birthday wishes
and some cool presents and notes to the kiddos. The
amount and frequency with which they are bullshit has rudely
interrupted in the good things I've had going on has
been baffling and enraging. I've gotten better at counting my blessings,
keeping on, keeping on all that jazz, but the loneliness
I feel in all this has been overwhelming. Any help
dealing with this nonsense is super appreciated, which is grassiest

(34:15):
for all the good lulls and your lovely work.

Speaker 1 (34:17):
Nicole, Hi, Nicole, Hello nice, This is our special guest.

Speaker 4 (34:21):
I love for sure.

Speaker 1 (34:22):
How do you bye?

Speaker 5 (34:24):
Hi?

Speaker 6 (34:24):
Seeing?

Speaker 8 (34:24):
Oh that's so cool.

Speaker 7 (34:25):
It's it's total honored to speak with all y'all. Thanks
for having me.

Speaker 1 (34:30):
Look how cozy you look with your drinking a cup
of tea and coffee tea.

Speaker 4 (34:35):
Yeah, you're gonna say, like whiskey.

Speaker 1 (34:36):
I was like, even better. You look like you're in a.

Speaker 4 (34:40):
Very warm and cozy place.

Speaker 5 (34:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 7 (34:42):
Yeah, I've got a sweet little mountain home up here,
and autumn weather is rolling in and it's getting a
getting to be sweater time.

Speaker 4 (34:50):
That's cute. I like that time of year for you
and for me.

Speaker 1 (34:54):
Well, your sister sounds like she's probably she has a
lot of her own issues that she probably has to
sort out. So is there any way for you to
kind of just limit your exposure to her?

Speaker 7 (35:03):
Definitely? I mean I have been at the point of
limiting contact to just happy Birthday once a year from
my end, and there's been nothing from her to me
for years.

Speaker 5 (35:18):
Anyways, wait, since the Trump started Trump. So after the
Trump fight on the porch, she then that's when you
guys cut off contact. Then you get you send the
birthday card and some gifts to the kid, and she
doesn't reciprocate.

Speaker 7 (35:29):
Well, one, it wasn't a I don't have a Trump
fight with her. I think she's actually pretty disgusted by
all that. But yeah, before the fight on the porch,
you know, I tried to go to therapy with her.

Speaker 8 (35:43):
That didn't work.

Speaker 7 (35:44):
She hadn't reached out to me for anything other than
maybe a happy birthday too for years and then yeah, sorry, yeah,
you're right. Since then, ooh, this a lot, excuse me then,
you know, since then, it's been me just saying, you know,
happy birthday to my sister and sending her kiddo's presence

(36:08):
for their birthdays.

Speaker 2 (36:09):
Nicole, can I ask you why do you think that
she's sort of like taken up so much space of
your mental space or emotional space, especially now while you
guys aren't in contact.

Speaker 7 (36:21):
Well, it bothers me and it's been hard to sort
of rebuild after super bummer losses and stuff like that,
rebuild like the happy you know, my happy garden, the
the you know, cool parts of my life to better

(36:42):
distract myself with. Though I have been making progress with it,
I'm just you know, like one, she's my sister, my
only sister.

Speaker 8 (36:51):
I love her, like.

Speaker 7 (36:52):
I'm not banking on our relationship getting better, but of course,
like there's no way for me to.

Speaker 8 (36:59):
Like totally lose hope about it.

Speaker 7 (37:02):
And I guess maybe another reason has to do with
like her having the only kiddos in my family and
on her husband's thend too, So I think she's very
much got like the generous, cool old people in our
families and just anyone. You know, we all love kids.

(37:23):
We all want to see them happy and well supported
and stuff like that.

Speaker 8 (37:29):
So yeah, that probably has a lot to do with it.

Speaker 1 (37:32):
I think that there's a loving kindness of meditation you
can do for people who wronged you, you know what.
There's that loving where you're sending them love. You're sending
them happiness and safety and all of the things that
you would wish upon someone you really did love, which
is you do love your sister, You want you know,
good things for her. It clearly interferes with your own
sanity and your own peacefulness to be interacting with her.

(37:52):
So I would take whatever break that she's giving you
as a gift, like to reframe it in your mind
as like, this is a gift that has been given me.
To protect yourself from more hurt and more pain coming
from them. The kiddos aside, you can keep sending them
gifts and hopefully maintain some sort of relationship with them,
although that's all you can really do without, you know,

(38:13):
going and exposing yourself to that family. And I'm sure
there I don't know are they is he is the
kid old enough? Is it a boy or a girl
to be alone with?

Speaker 8 (38:22):
I love that advice, Thank you. Yeah, that is a
great way to look at it.

Speaker 7 (38:27):
Yeah, the kiddos are the oldest ones, just turned nine.

Speaker 1 (38:32):
Right, so you're not going to be spending time alone
with them.

Speaker 8 (38:35):
I can't steal him yet. I do look forward to
those days though.

Speaker 1 (38:39):
Yeah, I just would really focus on actually trying to
just send positive vibes her way without contacting her like that,
there's nothing positive that she's bringing to your life thus far,
Like it looks like you have like a really cozy
retreat that you have set up for yourself. And some
of the biggest insults in our lives come from people

(39:00):
who do not deserve our ire, Like they just don't
get it, Like you don't get my anger, you know
what I mean, when somebody really hurts you, they do
not get your they don't get the benefit of my pain.
And I think that's something that you have to like
imprint on your mind, write it down and put it
on your fridge, like this person isn't thinking about what's

(39:21):
best for you, and so for you to be preoccupied
with it isn't helping you move along. You should be
focusing on the things that make you happy, whatever your
hobbies are, whatever you're into, double down on all of that,
but always sending her love and light, like that's all
you can do to be a good person and to
keep your side of the street clean. But just take

(39:42):
the absence of her in your life as a sign
that the universe is protecting you from being involved with her,
because it sounds like you've had some painful experiences with her.

Speaker 4 (39:51):
Wouldn't you agree, Isila?

Speaker 1 (39:53):
When somebody like somebody wrongs you, you know, whether it's
a family member or someone you don't know well or
a really good friend, and they don't get your ire,
they don't get it because it's not worth it, and
I've already proven themselves that they haven't earned it. So
I would just write that down and write down your
feelings around it, and keep it somewhere close so you

(40:13):
can check in with yourself and remind yourself of the
reasons why you're better off not having her in your
life in that way. Yes she's your sister, Yes you'll
always love her, but you don't have to expose yourself
to her.

Speaker 5 (40:26):
And yes, be flattered by the fact that she's I
guess engaging in sibling rivalry. It means she's as much
as her life looks maybe from the outside, to have
tacked a few more of the kind of boxes with
the kids and being like married or whatever. That like,
clearly your family value those, you know, that doesn't prevent
her from probably looking at your life cozied up in

(40:47):
what looks like the cutest free people tan hoodie or whatever.
She's probably looking at that very snuggle muffin going I
wish I was having a tea, not like on my
third round of Monopoly with some kid.

Speaker 4 (41:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (41:01):
Yeah, she's probably looking at you and like, oh, wow,
you're free. You didn't marry a drump supporter. Look how
free you are. Look at your freedom of choice. Yeah,
look at you get getting home to be in a
peaceful place where you don't have to listen to that nonsense.

Speaker 7 (41:16):
You know, I'd love to share this with her. I'd
love to help her find that own freedom for herself.
But you're totally right. I can only do that from
a distance at this point, you know.

Speaker 1 (41:29):
And also, if you change your expectations, you're going to
be less disappointed.

Speaker 5 (41:33):
That is so true. That is the greatest piece of advice.
I've been trying that lately.

Speaker 8 (41:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (41:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (41:38):
One thing that helped me recently when I was in
a similar situation was and I don't know exactly who
this would be for you. For me, it was my acupuncturist,
and she does some energy work as well, but she
actually did a cord cutting ceremony for me with some
people that I was having a difficult time with, and
it really genuinely helped. It was something I had been
talking to my therapist about for months and months and months,

(41:58):
and having the sort of like severing the energetic tie
was sort of the last piece I needed. I needed
the therapy too, but this sort of helped me feel
a lot better about it and just detach from sort
of the results of what was going on in the
relationship and just be able to sort of detach.

Speaker 5 (42:14):
I do also think if you have tried distance for
a period of time and it's not working, and you
do really love your sister, it's you maybe be open
a little to trying another tactic, like I know you
tried that. You mentioned you did therapy, but maybe it
is worth having another conversation because sometimes like things don't
work and we just get stuck in a rut and

(42:35):
you only have one sister.

Speaker 1 (42:37):
Sorry, you just told me.

Speaker 4 (42:42):
I'm always right.

Speaker 1 (42:43):
I can't lower your chair, please, I mean I can't.
I don't understand what she's even talking about right now.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 5 (42:51):
No, I just feel like guilty if I've got two
daughters and they're like best friends right now, so I
just couldn't help that you don't have a sister though, right,
I don't. That's probably I love my Yeah, yeah, I'm
very close to my friend.

Speaker 7 (43:02):
If you guys want to go intervene and help her out,
that would I'm totally.

Speaker 6 (43:08):
It's hard.

Speaker 1 (43:11):
You should go see if she'll call in with you,
and then we'll do a three way.

Speaker 4 (43:15):
But we don't give solicit advice. We actually need the
people to call in because I.

Speaker 1 (43:20):
Mean, yeah, we can't solicit.

Speaker 5 (43:23):
Yeah, we need to be solicited.

Speaker 8 (43:25):
But I'm a total fan of that happening.

Speaker 7 (43:28):
That would be great personally, I feel at this point
i've exhausted all my options, Like it's I've exhausted myself
exhausting my options like multiple times.

Speaker 1 (43:39):
Yeah, it sounds like it.

Speaker 7 (43:41):
Thanks for the great advice though, right down, okay, cutting ceremony.

Speaker 4 (43:46):
Yeah, look it up.

Speaker 1 (43:47):
See if there's somebody in your area that could do
that for you. That sounds like a great idea.

Speaker 2 (43:51):
I'm sure there's some energy worker in your mountaintown that
will no know what that.

Speaker 4 (43:54):
Is for sure.

Speaker 8 (43:55):
Yeah yeah right, I love that.

Speaker 1 (43:57):
Thanks Nicole, Thanks to call take care. Thank you.

Speaker 8 (44:02):
Yeah, thanks for rocking.

Speaker 1 (44:05):
No problem. I so contradictory. I just welcome to my life.

Speaker 5 (44:11):
I know why them a mess?

Speaker 2 (44:12):
No, you're not.

Speaker 5 (44:13):
I just pictured like if she continues on down this path,
don't you realize? Like how do you heal if you
just cut somebody off?

Speaker 1 (44:20):
But if somebody's an unwilling participant, what are you supposed
to do? Like if someone's not willing, like she's tried,
do you know what I mean? Like if you give
your effort, like you can't be terrible.

Speaker 5 (44:29):
Though, I'll be loyal for I just go and go
and go. I'm just like, make it work, make up,
I know, But.

Speaker 2 (44:34):
Being in this sort of like you know, difficult situation
with her sister. It's like it almost takes up more
mental space for you because you're like, I've cut them off.

Speaker 5 (44:41):
This is my boundary, and you think about it all
the time.

Speaker 2 (44:43):
Whereas if you can get to the point where just
you're neutral, even if you're not having much conversation with
them or re engaging in relationship, it sort of just
turns off that noise, at least for mentad.

Speaker 5 (44:52):
Anyway, I do I agree with you? Yeah, I think
cut the cord. Then name your baby after her.

Speaker 4 (44:57):
That sounds like a great idea. Will you edit our
initial response to this one?

Speaker 5 (45:02):
Well, I'm just gonna cut it all right. Well, we
have some other badly behaved parents here. So Kelly is
our next caller.

Speaker 2 (45:11):
She says, Dear Chelsea, my husband has a big family
that's very close and his parents love getting everyone together
as often as they can.

Speaker 4 (45:18):
He sounds annoying already.

Speaker 2 (45:19):
Yeah, I'm falling for devoulstre He has three sisters and
we all have kids now, so the gatherings have gotten
larger and of course a bit more chaotic with that
many people and kids involved. One sister in law has
three kids eleven and under her style of parenting is
well non existent. It's making the family get together as
completely miserable, to the point where I don't want to
even attend family parties, or if I do attend, it's

(45:42):
making me want to drink heavily, and I'm trying to
cut back these days.

Speaker 5 (45:45):
But that's a whole other issue. The kids have issues,
that's just.

Speaker 2 (45:48):
Their nature, and obviously that's not their fault to be
born that way. Anger issues possible ADHD. The problem is
these issues are not being diagnosed, so it's not being
addressed properly.

Speaker 5 (45:58):
Then there's the nurture side of it.

Speaker 2 (46:00):
Kids are totally fairal I'll admit I micromanage my kids
and I'm working on stepping back some. But her kids
are not being guided at all or raised at all.
The TV's on all day long, they eat crap snacks
all day, they have no respect for adults, and they
wander off, kick and scream when they don't get their way.

Speaker 5 (46:15):
The list goes on and on. This summer, at a
family reunion, one of.

Speaker 2 (46:18):
My sister in law's kids started chasing the three other
cousins with an aluminum bat, angry, yelling and ready to
swing if she could catch them all because she didn't
want to be splashed in the pool. I don't see
change coming from the parents anytime soon. They're oblivious to
the fact that their children are in absolute embarrassment. I
need your advice. Am I allowed to say something? Is
it my place since I'm just the sister in law?

(46:39):
Or should I just distance myself from these events where
they're in attendance?

Speaker 5 (46:42):
Thanks?

Speaker 1 (46:42):
Kelly, Hi, Kelly, Hi, this is our special guest, Isla Fishery.

Speaker 6 (46:49):
Kelly, I'm so excited to be on the show. Thanks
for taking my letter.

Speaker 1 (46:53):
Oh you're welcome. I would probably Well, you're a parent,
so I let you go first on this one about
parenting other people's kids.

Speaker 5 (47:01):
Like the kid with the bat? How old was the ali?
How old was that little one with the bat?

Speaker 6 (47:06):
Ten years old? Chasing really really mad and very angry.
And let me ask, do.

Speaker 5 (47:12):
You feel like, because what are the real impacts on you?
Is it more that they're modeling to your kids behavior
that therefore that could lead them astray? Because I can't
work out like you could just obviously. I mean, I
have come from a really big family and all my
brothers have loads of kids, and so everybody parents in
my family super differently, but we we have like a
rule where you know, we're allowed to parent each other's kids,

(47:34):
but we're all kind of pretty chill, so like no
one really gets stuck in unless the stakes are high
and there's like a knife to a head or someone's
like hanging in a garage or drowning in a dog bowl.
No one really. But I guess my feeling is for you, Like,
it's interesting that this is like provoking something within you.
It makes me wonder whether you it's more that it's
a mirror back to your own style of parenting, which

(47:55):
you're worried maybe either to too tense or or is
it more that you're it's the other thing that you
think that this like motley crue of you know, this
gang of as they sound whatever, are going to just
make your kids derail and you'll be lose all control.

Speaker 6 (48:13):
Right Well, thankfully they do live farther away so we
only see them a few times a year. But it's
that it's that the parents don't ever chip in, like
I agree the village and yes, if you see another
child about to get hurt or maybe not being super
nice to the other one, yes you all step in.
You all say something. I don't mind if someone corrects

(48:35):
my children, but these parents, I would be raising the
kids if I stepped in. Oh, it's just not like
I don't want to. I have my own kids to
take care of them.

Speaker 7 (48:45):
You know.

Speaker 6 (48:46):
It's just it's a difficult situation. No one says anything.
Everyone thinks it's a problem, but no one's saying anything.

Speaker 5 (48:53):
Oh, that's so frustrating. I feel the rage.

Speaker 4 (48:56):
Yeah, that is frustrating.

Speaker 5 (48:57):
I mean I get so angry hearing that. I always
say what I think. I've got idhds. So it's bad.

Speaker 1 (49:02):
If everyone feels that way, then you guys should all
band together and tell them that there are new rules
when you guys come. They when you have these trips,
it's only twice a year, ye to mention. So if
they can't follow those rules, then they don't shouldn't come.
And if you guys are all, if you guys are
all on the same page, you just make sure there's
a list of things. You don't even have to direct
it towards them. You should say before the vacation, here

(49:24):
are the list of behaviors that we're not willing to
put up with. This is These are the new rules
moving forward as combined families. However, many children are you
guys have together, which is how many.

Speaker 6 (49:35):
In the immediate family? Probably nine kids?

Speaker 1 (49:37):
Great? Perfect reason, yeah, perfect reason to make a list.
And these are the acceptable behaviors. If and when anything
outside of this happens, you won't be invited back. And
if you don't think you can, and it's not directed
at them, this is to all of you. You know,
somebody puts the letter out and this is to all
of you guys, so that they're not being targeted because
it's not cool. It's really not your place to tell

(49:58):
somebody else how to parent, you know what I mean,
It really isn't it's not helpful. But if there's a
set of rules that aren't being followed, then they can
choose to not participate, you know, And and then you
have a reason to call them out. If they do
choose to come and break those rules and their kids
are one of them's running around with an aluminum bat,
then you have every right to go whoa, whoa, whoa.

(50:18):
We just saw what's going to be acceptable behavior and
what's not going to be acceptable behavior. But you have
to get everybody on the same page and all the
other families, or your other option is for you to
opt out of that vacation and not go.

Speaker 6 (50:31):
Yeah, and that's funny. In your books you've mentioned the
ground rules for your vacations and stuff. That is a
good idea.

Speaker 1 (50:37):
Yeah, exact, I was going to refer you to my
last book. I wrote a bud letter to my whole
family with every these are the reason.

Speaker 5 (50:43):
I'm doing this is the greatest thing I've ever heard.

Speaker 1 (50:46):
I'll send you the letter. You don't even have to
write one. You can just copy and paste mine. It's perfect.
I mean, people send it to me all this tell
tell me all the time, they send it to the families.
But it's true. Like I stopped going on vacation with
my family members who didn't want to bide by those rules,
then I'm not I'm not paying for your vacation. Then
I'll go on vacation with my own friends. I don't
want to go on vacation with fucking children anyway.

Speaker 4 (51:05):
You know, what do you think you're doing here?

Speaker 1 (51:07):
Like, seriously, I wanted kids to drink my alcohol. Then yeah,
if you're running a fucking campsite, I mean, honestly, but
I think you should try that first, try to get
everyone on board, just as more of a general set
of rules for everyone, for all of your kids, that
it's acceptable to intervene if there's going to be violence,

(51:27):
or if there's danger or if somebody you know, like
we want to have each other's backs within this like
small community family that we have. It's only twice a year.
It's not hard to follow rules twice a year. And
see if that makes a difference.

Speaker 6 (51:40):
Yeah, that sounds good.

Speaker 2 (51:41):
I do want to nitpick about one little thing here too,
because in your letter you refer a lot to the
sister in law. But assuming that both parents are in
the picture, correct, they have a dad too, and so
make sure that these rules are not just directed to
the moms that they are.

Speaker 5 (51:56):
Both parents are included and blamed.

Speaker 6 (51:59):
Right, are both so unaware? And Yeah, it's insane how
much they don't pay attention. I think they'd be like,
what are you guys talking about? If anyone said anything.

Speaker 1 (52:10):
Yeah, and just remember, like the thing that people don't
listen to is when they're judged. When you tell somebody this,
I can't believe you did this. This isn't how you
do it. I'm you know. That doesn't help anybody blossom.
It's when you share that helps people. You know, when
you share this is oh, this is I've you almost
like want to put the problem back on yourself, like
you're dealing it with your children, which is fictional. That

(52:32):
doesn't sound like what's what's happening, but it's almost like
you want a position it that way, Like I don't
want my kids to be out of control when they're
around all of their friends. I want them to have manners.
I want them to look every adult in the eye.
I want them to say please and thank you, like
you're you have a set of rules for your family,
and that that's a great set of rules for a
group trip.

Speaker 4 (52:51):
It's not about.

Speaker 1 (52:52):
Shaming them or saying, you know how how they're not
paying attention, how unaware they are. It's more about how
you want to lift the standards up for your own family.

Speaker 5 (53:00):
Oh I love that.

Speaker 6 (53:02):
Yeah, those are all good approach ideas.

Speaker 1 (53:05):
Okay, so yeah, get on that and see what happens.
Maybe you'll get a different result.

Speaker 6 (53:09):
Well that sounds good. I appreciate it.

Speaker 4 (53:11):
Okay, wonderful.

Speaker 1 (53:12):
Thanks for calling out.

Speaker 6 (53:13):
Kellykay, Thanks everyone.

Speaker 1 (53:15):
Bye bye Eyler. How did you and your brothers come
up with that. Did you guys agree that you were
going to be able to parent your own children?

Speaker 5 (53:22):
No, we just sort of, I think because it was staggered,
people gave birth at different times and so just because
it's practical too. And the sisters in law are really
cool and there's not many egos in my family, so like,
no one's going to care and how dare you and
say that? I don't know, like we're all pretty chill.
That's nice, yeah, yeah, but I have to say, like
we do let our kids misbehave, like we're not like

(53:44):
a French family. If you can't, you would definitely not
want us on holiday with you.

Speaker 1 (53:48):
But maybe I would, and maybe I would. At least
that would at least be real and in my face,
you know what I mean. Not somebody likes she's stealing
alcohol and then shoving it under a rental house, you know,
like empty bottles of beer under a rental house that
I'm like, are you kidding me? No respect for other
people's property. I mean that was many years ago, by
the way, so that's not fair to say. But actually
I have plenty of recent stories too. Okay, we're going

(54:10):
to be right back and to wrap things up with
Isla Fisher, and we're back to say goodbye to Isla Fisher.

Speaker 5 (54:23):
I love you, I love you.

Speaker 6 (54:24):
Nice.

Speaker 1 (54:25):
The movie is called Now You See Me, Now You Don't.
It's the third installment, but the second installment for Isla.
And then the other movie.

Speaker 5 (54:32):
Is called SPA Weekend, SPA Weeken, Spa Weekend. And I
have a movie called J Kelly Out. But I just
have a little Kelly, J Kelly.

Speaker 1 (54:38):
That's no, I'm just a little one, but supposed to
be incredible.

Speaker 5 (54:43):
It's great, have you know, Ambach, I haven't say the
latest cut. No, I'm excited. I'm excited. So I've had
fun and I'm I'm hoping everyone comes to see this one.
I think it's uh, it ticks all the boxes.

Speaker 1 (54:53):
Well, I'm glad that you're having such a good time
working and I'm glad that you're having such a fun life.

Speaker 5 (54:57):
Thank you.

Speaker 7 (54:58):
I am.

Speaker 1 (54:58):
And you're an independent woman and you're thriving with your
new life and life and I just love it and
I love seeing you.

Speaker 5 (55:06):
Always text you when you come to London, Nice.

Speaker 4 (55:09):
I will, I'll text you.

Speaker 1 (55:10):
And Stella, Stella, this episode's for you. I just announced
all my tour dates. It's called the High and Mighty Tour.
I will be touring from February through June, So go
get your tickets now. If you want good seats and
you want to come see me perform, I will be
on the High and Mighty Tour.

Speaker 5 (55:31):
Do you want advice from Chelsea?

Speaker 2 (55:32):
Right into Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot com. Find
full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching
at Dear Chelsea Pod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered
by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine law And be sure
to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot com