Cursive is Gay Handwriting (feat. Greta Titelman)

• Comedian, actor and host of the podcast Senior Superlatives Greta Titelman joins Fran & Rose for a back-to-school special about gel pens. Tangents include 90s kid staples Lisa Frank, Hooked on Phonics, Harriet The Spy as well as a lot about porn
• Plus, Rose saw Bottoms (no spoilers :) and Fran watched The Flash
• And a clip from this week's Patreon episode, a RHONY check-in plus a conversation about exciting new bonus content on the Patreon. Subscribe for weekly bonus episodes!

Shop our summer merch line. What is your go-to gel pen? Tag our finsta @likeavirgin42069

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
So there's an adderall shortage right now. I don't know
if you're aware.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
I'm not.

Speaker 1 (00:07):
Okay, So I can't get my medicine, and that's why.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
Needs her pills.

Speaker 1 (00:11):
Mommy needs her pills. And that's why the topics are
topicking right now.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
She's sheen a.

Speaker 3 (00:17):
Me, no ma, not may yo yo?

Speaker 4 (00:23):
What is your child?

Speaker 5 (00:26):
I am a chuk.

Speaker 3 (00:30):
You what's going down? Before round?

Speaker 2 (00:43):
This coffee is disgusting.

Speaker 1 (00:46):
Well, we're trying to okay, maybe we won't name the
coffee shop.

Speaker 2 (00:49):
No, it's textbook book cafe in a green. I can
also see your oat milk separating and these they're not
doing oatly.

Speaker 6 (00:59):
They're probably doing oat planet.

Speaker 1 (01:01):
Oat planet separates and so planet oah, yes, and so
does silk and so and Shabani actually is very cool.

Speaker 6 (01:08):
Chabani is really bannid. The girls know it.

Speaker 1 (01:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:11):
I was saying before maybe I would switch to getting
lattes here, but now I'm thinking about that separating milk,
but a whole coup of it with a little bit
of espresso. Gotta go at least I put it on
the company card and I about paying for it.

Speaker 1 (01:25):
Yeah, while we're on the note of coffee, I just
I have to say, I love a coffee shop with
the rewards program.

Speaker 6 (01:30):
Okay, but not just a rewards program. I want a punch.

Speaker 2 (01:33):
Card, but then you have to carry a punch card.

Speaker 1 (01:35):
I'm surprised you're not siding with me on this because
you're a traditionalist. You are, I am, but I hate
carrying my wallet around with me. And actually I went
to the movies recently at Regal Essex and waited in
line for like ten minutes to at the concession stand
and they handed me my popcorn and my drink. And

(01:56):
when I went to pay, I was like, oh, I'm
going to tap. They were like, we we only to
physical cards and I hadn't brought my wallet with me.

Speaker 2 (02:02):
Because where where can you not tap? In twenty twenty.

Speaker 1 (02:06):
Three famously does not take Apple pay Yeah.

Speaker 2 (02:09):
No, this is a Regal Oh so yeah, oh wow,
that's so. I was pissed. And I had to see
him the movie without popcorn or a drink.

Speaker 6 (02:18):
There was no one like behind you in line. That
was like, don't know.

Speaker 2 (02:21):
And I did stand there for a moment kind of
like making eyes at the person behind the counter, sort
of waiting for him to be like, worry about it.
Don't worry about it. It's fine. He was like, okay,
well sorry, I like we were in a stalemate and
usually I win those.

Speaker 1 (02:37):
Yeah, I was gonna say I actually wouldn't have. I
was like engaging with a customer. I would never in
a million year spe customer, let me take your popcorn away, Diva. Also,
where's that popcorn gonna go back into the bin? No, no,
it's gonna get thrown out. He should have just given
it to me. Give me, give me my popcorn and
my mountain dew. Because Regal is a pepsi cinema and
I wasn't going to drink pepsi, so I got him

(02:58):
mountain dew. Thank god, I had brought some candy with me,
so it worked out. But anyway, welcome to Like a Virgin,
the show where we give yesterday's pop culture today's takes
Imra's Domina.

Speaker 6 (03:09):
And I'm fran Torado and we are not just coffee snobs.
We also go to the Theata.

Speaker 1 (03:13):
And you have to know, speaking of non amc theaters, Rose,
you went to a Regal, I'm going to the Alamo
on Tuesday.

Speaker 2 (03:20):
I'm okay, I'm furious because the amount of times I've
tried to get you to go to the Alamo and
every time you've said no, Well, someone else is paying
for it. Okay, that I'm going to go see Bottoms,
which I think you've already seen. I have seen Bottoms.
I saw it on Saturday, and I.

Speaker 1 (03:35):
Mean, can you give me like the non spoiler kind
of review.

Speaker 2 (03:39):
Yeah, well, I mean for anyone who doesn't know. Bottoms
is this new comedy starring Rachel Senate and Iowa Debris.
It's directed by Emma Seligman, who also co wrote it
with Rachel, and it's about these two horny loser lesbians
in high school who decide that the way that they're
going to get girls is to start an all girls

(04:00):
fight club, which is a genius premise for a film.
It was so good, it was so funny. It's like
perfectly absurd in the way that a really good teen
comedy should be. Like it's very jawbreaker, very Heather's a
little mean girls, but meaner than mean girls, and it's

(04:23):
so so gay.

Speaker 6 (04:25):
Is there an element of revenge in it?

Speaker 2 (04:27):
Yes?

Speaker 6 (04:28):
Okay, I'm sold, Yes.

Speaker 2 (04:31):
Revenge and it is. It's a total fantasy, but it
takes place kind of in you know, you know, we
don't really know where their school is, but it seems
to be in a town where no one is sort
of like preoccupied by wokeness. But then at the same time,
like these girls aren't facing like homophobic bullying, they're just losers.

(04:54):
But also like there's more misogyny than there is homophobia,
but it's sort of of like amped up to a
cartoonish level. Yeah, absurd and the men. The one thing
I appreciated was that even though the men like are
very misogynistic, there's never any threat of sexual violence, just
like love actual violence, actual violce, which I definitely prefer.

Speaker 1 (05:16):
I love actual violence as opposed to like other kinds
of violence. I know that sounds crazy, but because it's
at this absurdist or cartoonish level, it's like, Okay, we're
not taking ourselves too seriously.

Speaker 6 (05:25):
Where if they were to kind of pivot and it
were to be.

Speaker 1 (05:27):
A sexual violence kind of thing, all of a sudden,
they're trying to say something about the world, and it's like, Okay.

Speaker 6 (05:32):
Yeah, I don't want to think about that.

Speaker 1 (05:33):
They were all my like my animaniacs like cartoons.

Speaker 2 (05:36):
Again, Yes, everyone in the movie is so funny. I mean,
it's really like Io kind of is the star's she.

Speaker 6 (05:43):
Is in three other movies or two other movies. She's
gonna be Jesus star.

Speaker 2 (05:48):
Rachel's amazing. All of the girls in their little club
are really great. Kaya Gerber super funny. The Prince from
Red White and Royal Blue is like the main antagonist,
and he's so funny. He's doing this sort of like
toxic masculinity, but it's this very like femme toxic masculinity

(06:12):
that it's like toxic masculinity that's sort of like so stupid.
It's like he's he's like.

Speaker 1 (06:21):
Childlike an effeminate, like man baby villain.

Speaker 2 (06:25):
Yeah. It's giving like almost guest on a little bit.

Speaker 3 (06:30):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (06:31):
Oh and he's straight, right, he's straight. Yeah, but he
acts gay.

Speaker 2 (06:35):
I mean he just acts.

Speaker 6 (06:36):
He's got those lips.

Speaker 2 (06:37):
He's like a baby. He's a big baby.

Speaker 6 (06:40):
Yeah. Okay, I love that.

Speaker 1 (06:41):
That honestly sounds way more interesting than whatever he did
in Red White and World Blue.

Speaker 6 (06:44):
If you want to hear our, paywild discussion on patreon
dot com.

Speaker 2 (06:48):
Slash like a Virgin, there's a couple of really good
needle drops. Charlie XX did the music for it. It
was just so much fun. I had such a great time.
I saw it on Saturday night at the Alamo in
a packed house and everyone was roaring with laughter cool
including me. Bottoms is only playing in ten theaters in
the US right now, so I know it's hard for

(07:10):
people to see. But I told my sisters, who are
twenty and they're both queer, that they had to see it,
and they had already been planning to. And I'm just
so happy that their generation has a teen movie like
this that is so fucking gay.

Speaker 6 (07:26):
Wow. And you didn't even like BookSmart?

Speaker 1 (07:28):
Right, it kind of feels like almost Booksmarty, but just
in terms of its audience demographic, not necessarily the film.

Speaker 2 (07:34):
It's I liked BookSmart. No, I like, oh you did, okay.
I don't think BookSmart made as much of an impact
on the culture as like people at the time kind
of thought it was going to.

Speaker 1 (07:44):
Yeah that's true, Like there was everyone was like, it's
an Olivia Wilde Sonce and oh my god, there's going
to be so many more like songs. Again, yes, I mean,
but it was like her first movie that she directed,
but she was an actress up until that point. I
guess I don't know, I'm making fun of other people.
I'm not like saying it was a zo on.

Speaker 2 (08:04):
No, I think it's it. People expected it to become
an iconic teen movie, and I know that we're not
that far out of it. But I just don't think
it has embedded in the culture the way that I
do think Bottoms will.

Speaker 1 (08:19):
Yeah, Okay, I hope so too, because, like with the strike,
like they haven't really been given a lot of films
have been given these kind of like SAG like exceptions
that they can promote the film. But most of those
are documentaries, and apparently there are two A twenty four
films as well.

Speaker 2 (08:33):
And also very small indie films. I have a friend
who's in one of them.

Speaker 1 (08:38):
I also have friends that are doing two different well
if actually, honestly, I'll plug them now, but that's.

Speaker 2 (08:45):
That's my friend is Oh okay, Yeah.

Speaker 1 (08:47):
And also Cocomo City are movies that are like extremely
worth finding screenings for if you can, because they've been
given the SAG exception.

Speaker 2 (08:54):
Yes, it was kind of crazy to see Bottoms knowing
that in a normal meatia landscape, this is the kind
of movie where every person who is in it would
jump up one fame level because of how good the
movie is and how big it would be. And I
think it will still happen for some of the people

(09:14):
in that, Like they're all definitely gonna get more jobs
from this, Like definitely the leads, Definitely the director. I
feel like she'll have her next project after this. I
feel like will be a bigger movie. But you know,
like none of them can promote it, and it's I
think if if they could, this movie would be everywhere

(09:36):
right now in a way that it's not going to be.
But it's still doing really well despite that.

Speaker 1 (09:42):
Yeah, I mean Io and Rachel are already like they've
already been kind of like the girls to Book in
the last year in some way, And so I kind
of agree with you. Yeah, Like I'm I want I
wish they could promote it. I want more for them.
But once it goes to streaming, I'm sure it'll have
like an other huge moment.

Speaker 2 (10:01):
We got to get it to streaming quick because people
just can't see it like right now.

Speaker 6 (10:07):
So do you know what I watched last night?

Speaker 2 (10:11):
What I watched The Flash?

Speaker 6 (10:15):
Oh, friends, I told you I was gonna see it.
Look flipped We flipped it on we.

Speaker 1 (10:24):
Were like, oh, this is available on Max, Now why
don't we watch it? Asra Miller's in it? Non binary
something something. This was supposed to reset the DC cinematic universe.

Speaker 2 (10:33):
None of those words are in the Bible.

Speaker 1 (10:37):
I mean, I don't need to talk about it in
depth because you haven't seen it, Slash, you're never going
to see it, never, never see I thought at one
point you were maybe thinking about it.

Speaker 2 (10:45):
I was thinking about it when I was bored and
it was in theaters. But now that I would have
to commit to sitting and watching it on TV, no.

Speaker 1 (10:54):
Well, okay, so the thing for me is like I'm
I'm going to talk less about the actual movie and
more just about what's surrounding it because you know more about.

Speaker 2 (11:02):
That too, and like, but was the movie good?

Speaker 1 (11:06):
So top line, I would say the first two thirds
of the movie are actually genuinely lovely. I think that
there are some effects that are very bad. It feels
sometimes like when I was watching the movie, like they
realized that it was going to bomb and they decided
to like not finish the visual effects.

Speaker 2 (11:27):
Oh.

Speaker 1 (11:28):
Interesting, there's a really huge like action sequence at the
beginning where the visual like it's this do you want
me to just tell you what happens. There's basically there's
a building on fire and it's like a hospital, and
like the building kind of collapses and tons of babies
fall out.

Speaker 2 (11:46):
Of the Oh, I've seen the thing with the baby.

Speaker 1 (11:48):
Yes, with the microwaves. Yes, and he saves all of
these babies. And yes, it is a he hymn the Flash,
like Barry is a he hymn M. And he's also
let you know, oh yeah, okay, yeah, just some things
that I noticed. Yeah, Ezra Miller is not LATINX. They

(12:10):
are Dutch and French and Irish or something like that.
But Barry is Argentinian, which is cool. And the whole
plot revolves around his mother. You And if you already
saw the baby shower clip, that was like one of
the moments where I was like, this is like genuinely
like kind of fun but like the effects are so
distracting and I can't actually like see this scene. But

(12:32):
Ezra himself was actually amazing, and I was like, you
are genuinely funny, engaging, like you're hitting every single joke.
The characterization of Barry as a Flash, to me is
trying to fulfill what Spider Man does for Marvel, where
it's this entry point of a teen they're like in
every everyday kind of kid, kind of a loser, like

(12:55):
has a fast metabolism, like always eating, And there was
something genuinely exciting about that addition to DC in a
world where it's just like Wonder Woman, Batman, Superman, these
like huge heavy hitters and no kind of like on
the street yeah level hero apprentice apprentice level heroes kind of.
And there hasn't been like a flash movie has technically

(13:16):
been in the work since the eighties, and this reboot,
like I think was only picked up again in like
twenty fourteen, so it's been like eons of like blabored
development over this film that had many directors and then
on top of that Azra Miller drama, which we don't
need to summarize for you, but like, I don't know,

(13:37):
I'm just curious. I have like more to say about
the film. For the most part, it's like the last
third was really bad, and the multiverse of it all
is like really derivative of like everything we just saw
in Spider Man No Way Home. So like for me,
it was just kind of a flop, even if Ezra
Miller was genuinely lovely.

Speaker 6 (13:51):
Michael Keaton was very fun.

Speaker 1 (13:54):
I think the cameo so if you don't know that,
it's already been talked about all over press. So Michael
Keaton came back to reprit his role as Batman, which
is a very very genius idea if they didn't already
do it in Spider By No Way Home like a
year ago.

Speaker 6 (14:08):
So it's like just derivative.

Speaker 1 (14:10):
It's just it's so so un it was so uninspired
to me that I had a hard time enjoying it.

Speaker 6 (14:16):
But he was loved. He was amazing.

Speaker 1 (14:18):
And the characterization of old Batman that Michael Keaton and
stated alongside Ben Affleck as Batman, who was also in
the movie, because there are multiple Batman's and multiple flashes
of course, as well as a cgi back from the
dead Adam West Batman, Nick Cage as Batman, like all
of these old movie Batman's coming back.

Speaker 6 (14:39):
Very weird. George Clooney, George Clooney came back.

Speaker 2 (14:43):
He had nipples.

Speaker 1 (14:44):
Yeah, no, I wish.

Speaker 6 (14:46):
But yeah no.

Speaker 1 (14:47):
It was just so it was like girls like this
is so monkey Sea Monkey do like do you not
have any can you come up.

Speaker 2 (14:54):
With something else, with something else.

Speaker 1 (14:57):
Oh, I forgot to say, Michael Keaton was or pre
maybe you'd be interested. This was repreasing a version of
Old Batman, like they call him Old Batman, and it's
this version in the comics of Batman that comes to
help Flash solve a kind of time travel dilemma. Okay,
and I thought that was like in the lore. I
thought that was really cool. But overall, the movie was

(15:18):
totally fine. I think it's recommended. I would actually recommend
you stream it because I think it's genuinely fun. And
I also think I came away from the movie unsurprised
by the lack of quality and the derivative nature of it,
but completely surprised by what was a very strong performance
by Ezra Miller and a wonderful contribution to the DC

(15:41):
cinematic universe. The Flash, to me is ten times more
interesting than Superman or Wonder Woman. And I am really
bummed that Ezra sucks so much that.

Speaker 6 (15:55):
The movie kind of tanked.

Speaker 1 (15:56):
I mean, the movie tank for a lot of reasons,
but I think Ezra's controversies were the primary reason that
the movie tanked, right.

Speaker 2 (16:03):
I think it's a mix of that and just superhero
fatigue in general.

Speaker 1 (16:06):
Yeah, right, I mean the movie is not like amazing,
Like I'm not gonna cry home about it, but I
do I think that Ezra Miller's performance was worthy of valuation.

Speaker 6 (16:15):
And I think that the Flash as a character is great.
It was is a cool character. So yeah, I'm kind
of bummed that it didn't work out.

Speaker 1 (16:25):
For Warner Poor Warner poor, but it was it was
diabolically I know, poor WarnerMedia.

Speaker 6 (16:34):
WarnerMedia.

Speaker 1 (16:36):
I mean, they had their big it was one of
their biggest flops of all time.

Speaker 6 (16:38):
They lost two hundred million.

Speaker 1 (16:39):
Love to see that, Yeah, I do love to see that. Actually,
So thank you Ezra Miller.

Speaker 2 (16:44):
If that's if those are all of your thoughts on
the Flash.

Speaker 6 (16:47):
Those are all my thoughts.

Speaker 1 (16:48):
Ezra Miller is queering the entertainment industry by way of
making the movie flop.

Speaker 2 (16:52):
I know that we want to talk about Ronie, but
I do want to make a brief pit stop and
share then I am a gamer now.

Speaker 1 (17:03):
Information that I know. But I'm a shock that you
want to share with a version I am a gamer.
Well let's not say that.

Speaker 2 (17:10):
No, no, no, no, after this week, no girl, I
am I am gaming you'll lose.

Speaker 1 (17:15):
For like Mark my words, rosewall is interested for hours
a day.

Speaker 2 (17:21):
I so, I, you know, am in the middle of
a little little depressive episode, and I thought that, you know,
distracting myself with video games might be a good way
to deal with that. In my therapist agreed, so I
bought a Nintendo Switch. I originally tried playing Stardo Valley

(17:42):
because I thought maybe something sort of like cozy low
Stakes would be the way to go. I got bored
within I mean three minutes.

Speaker 1 (17:53):
Okay, I'll play Stardu Valley for you.

Speaker 2 (17:55):
And then I also bought When I bought my switch,
I bought the Witcher three The Wild Hunt because I
love the Witcher show and I figured, like a sort
of RPG like Swords and Sorcery, more quest driven game
would like very narrative driven, would be good for me.

(18:17):
And honey Out was right because the first night I
played it, I played it for five hours. I forgot
to eat dinner. And then I woke up the next
morning and the first thing I did was like, oh fuck,
I got to kill that griffin. And I pulled my
switch and I was and I just went down. This
makes me so happy, and like the other. And it's
the great thing about it is that while I'm playing,

(18:39):
I don't think about anything. All I'm thinking about is
what I have to do. I'm like, fuck, I have
to find that goat so that that guy will conjure
up a spirit, so that I can find those two
missing women, so that I can get the information from
the baron, so that I can find my adoptive daughter
and slay all these monsters.

Speaker 6 (19:00):
How far are you?

Speaker 2 (19:01):
I mean, I'm not that far, okay, but I watch, yeah,
I'm I'm only playing it. I did get I did
get the OLED switch so I can play on my TV.
But I've only been playing on the console, and I've
been trying to limit myself to just a couple hours
a day because the time warps yeah so quickly.

Speaker 6 (19:21):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 2 (19:22):
And I haven't started bringing it anywhere, Like, I haven't
brought it on the bus or anything. I'm only playing
it at home. But I'm obsessed, and I think this
is my new era for now. We'll see. Like, but
I do feel you're right in that I think another
version of me would have gotten bored or like as

(19:42):
soon as I came up against like the first challenge
that I couldn't beat. I would have just been like, ugh,
I'm done, but not now, like I'm stuck on this
fight right now where I have to kill this miscarried
baby who turned into a monster, and then is like
summoning these ghouls and I'm like, I can't. I can't

(20:03):
be the level. Like I've done it like ten times
in the past twenty four hours, and usually I would
just like walk away, or I would like find a
cheat code or something. Honey, I am killing that baby.
If it's the last thing I do.

Speaker 6 (20:17):
Do you need help?

Speaker 2 (20:18):
Maybe I should try to kill a baby. I'm it's
gotta be me, It's got to be I'm the Witcher.

Speaker 6 (20:23):
Yeah, you are the Witcher. I am the Witcher. Oh
my god. Wait, I'm so happy for your gaming, your
gaming journey.

Speaker 1 (20:30):
You're officially a gamer, and you're gonna have to play
either Mario Kart or the Legend of Zelda game with me.

Speaker 2 (20:36):
I want to get Mario Kart and you can come
over and play Mario Kart. I am gonna play Zelda game.
But I think people have been telling me to do
Breath of the Wild rather than Tears of the Kingdom,
and then Hogwarts Legacy comes out for the switch in November. Plea,
please pleaseleepe And I'm not saying that I'm gonna play it,

(20:57):
but I'm definitely interested. Wink wink. Do we want to
talk about Ronie here or do we want to do
it for Patreon?

Speaker 6 (21:07):
Let's do it for Patreon.

Speaker 1 (21:08):
Okay, sorry, virgins, we went over time today, so we
will be migrating the Real Housewives of New York conversation
over to our patreon. If you want to get a
taste of that, you can go on over to patreon
dot com slash like a Virgin.

Speaker 2 (21:22):
I keep seeing people, you know, filling up their backpacks
getting ready to go back to school. That's not true.
I don't know anyone who's still in school, but I
know that it's back to school season. Every time I
go to Target, there's like some sign for like kids
to buy backpacks or whatever. So it is the perfect
time to have a discussion with Greta titleman, incredible comedian, actress,

(21:44):
extraordince Jordanaire. And when we asked her what she wanted
to talk about, her response was.

Speaker 6 (21:51):
Gel pens, gel pens.

Speaker 1 (21:53):
And I think it made a lot of sense because
she herself has a podcast that's kind of about elementary
school high school trauma.

Speaker 2 (22:00):
Yeah, I mean, who knows what what regreta is gonna
have to say about gel pens. But you know, break
out your you know, bick purple, sparkly gel.

Speaker 6 (22:10):
Pen or whatever, your G two seven.

Speaker 2 (22:13):
Get ready to dot your eyes with little hearts and yeah,
it's back to school time.

Speaker 4 (22:41):
Think about gel pens first starters. They're a status symbol. Okay,
Like if you have gel pens, if you have a
complete pack of gel pens in your trapper keeper, that's
like the full set, every color, intact, you have your
shit together, you are an elite student. And that was

(23:03):
never me, Like, that was never ever me. I had
a pack of gel pens. But see the reason why
I wanted to talk about them today is I have
gelpen envy. I'm a lefty, so like the gel pen
is kind of my biggest it's kind of my biggest challenge,
one might say, in the world of pen because it

(23:26):
just is gloopy, gloppy all over the page when I
write with it.

Speaker 2 (23:31):
You know, So what I'm hearing is gel pens are
what introduced you to the idea of class consciousness, right,
And also gel pens are ablest.

Speaker 1 (23:42):
Ablest, got it, got it, got it, got it? Okay, okay, okay, Well,
now we've said that, we have we have said that,
we have said we have said that, and people are
saying that.

Speaker 6 (23:53):
Well, I don't. I don't want to speak on your experience.
I want it to be your own.

Speaker 1 (23:56):
But because I am a rightie and I I feel
like I love pen culture and have always loved pen culture,
I'm like pretty dedicated to the G two O seven
in like brown or blue?

Speaker 2 (24:10):
Was that? I mean you say that like we're supposed
to know what that means?

Speaker 4 (24:13):
Can you explaind G two O seven I believe?

Speaker 3 (24:17):
Is that a big pen?

Speaker 1 (24:19):
No, it is a pot it's a pilot pilot pen. Oh,
I know her, and I know seven is the thickness
because the point two and the point five are like
to thin.

Speaker 6 (24:29):
The point seven is right where you need it.

Speaker 4 (24:32):
So I'm addicted to the point fives.

Speaker 6 (24:36):
Oh say that always that?

Speaker 1 (24:38):
Okay, we're getting a little we're getting a little, a
little TikTok here.

Speaker 4 (24:41):
It's good for me because of my left handedness. And
then okay, really I obviously love a pen.

Speaker 6 (24:51):
Pen. Wait what brand is that?

Speaker 3 (24:52):
I've never heard it's honey, but it's made in Japan.

Speaker 2 (24:59):
Okay. Interesting. So wait, so has being left handed been
a challenge for you?

Speaker 3 (25:07):
Well, here's the deal.

Speaker 4 (25:08):
Let me just show you some pens that are absolute
no goes for me. This medium z grip, whatever the
fuck brand, this is the demonics, okay, because what it's
first of all, trying to force me into a hand
structure that, honey, it's that's not what my hand does.

Speaker 2 (25:27):
Okay, So do you just keep it on hand to
torture yourself with.

Speaker 4 (25:31):
I fucked up and I just grabbed a pen willy
nilly from my partner husband's.

Speaker 6 (25:36):
Penjar oh betrayal.

Speaker 4 (25:40):
And this is what I grabbed, and I immediately started
writing with it, and I went yucky, yuck.

Speaker 3 (25:45):
I just it's it's thick.

Speaker 4 (25:47):
And it's bad, and it wants it wants me to
get the sentence all over my hand, you know. So then,
of course, in elementary school, I always wanted.

Speaker 3 (25:59):
To be bubble letter girly.

Speaker 4 (26:01):
I always wanted to be pretty handwriting girly.

Speaker 3 (26:04):
I wanted to.

Speaker 4 (26:05):
Be cursive, gorgeousity beautiful. But kirstp also kind of fucked
me because I just dragged it across the page, and
it was all blurred, so I had to correct and
now I write in all caps.

Speaker 2 (26:21):
Oh okay, that is a choice.

Speaker 6 (26:23):
Do you all like exclusively?

Speaker 3 (26:25):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (26:25):
Like, I will show you a page of my journal.

Speaker 3 (26:27):
It looks like I'm screaming.

Speaker 2 (26:29):
Okay, and we're going to screenshot so that we can
see God.

Speaker 4 (26:33):
Like, I hope it all works out for me today.

Speaker 2 (26:38):
Your journal, looking at it is very loud. I really
like that you write in all caps. I write and
all you know, you know the s that kind of
looks like a like a sword, you know what I'm
talking about. That that's how I write. That's Wait, this
s every every letter I found a way.

Speaker 3 (26:56):
Are we talking about this famous doodle s?

Speaker 6 (26:59):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (27:00):
Of course this s. Wait, we're gonna have to screenshot
that at some point. Yeah, okay. I I also was like,
like hearts dotting my eyes kind of like a girly penmanship.

Speaker 2 (27:12):
I you were a fag.

Speaker 6 (27:13):
Yes, I was a fag.

Speaker 1 (27:15):
The girls are not being taught cursive anymore, right, is
that has been eradicated.

Speaker 6 (27:20):
I think it's been eradicated.

Speaker 2 (27:22):
And I said, don't say gay, don't write Yes the.

Speaker 1 (27:27):
Gate way, that's what I'm So they're not wrong handwriting. Yes,
cursive is gay handwriting.

Speaker 6 (27:33):
It is groomed.

Speaker 1 (27:34):
It is like the grooming of handwriting. And I and
I feel like, Okay, this is what we need to talk.

Speaker 2 (27:41):
We've got to stop talking about this podcast that they're
gonna they're gonna find it once.

Speaker 1 (27:46):
One day someone is actually going to listen to this
podcast and it will be clipped out and put on
pink news dot com.

Speaker 2 (27:54):
Yeah news is not who we need to worry about.

Speaker 6 (27:58):
But yeah, no, Okay.

Speaker 1 (27:59):
So I was like on the cusp of like handwriting
still being taught in schools, but we were taught like
normal writing first. And I really envy your architectural handwriting style, Greta,
because like I my handwriting is like very fucked up
now because it's like half cursive, half normal and I
do upper case letters in the middle of words.

Speaker 6 (28:22):
I love that because yeah.

Speaker 1 (28:24):
And it's just like how I don't know how my brain,
I honestly should turn like my very bizarre, very murdery
handwriting into like a typeface or something, because that makes
no sense. It's like, why are the a's capital here
but they're not capital here? Like what are the SA's doing?
Why do you still do the cursive R, even though
the cursive R is the worst cursive letter in the

(28:45):
cursive alphabet.

Speaker 2 (28:46):
So you've got some chicken scratch tendencies. I do as well.
I also have some handwriting related trauma because I grew
up not holding my pen right way. I so I
hold it between these two fingers and instead of you
know the correct way, like this is the right way,

(29:09):
you know it resting on your thumb, but I always
held it between my second and middle finger, and well,
we are, but I was. I was persecuted for it
by various teachers in elementary school who said, even though
my handwriting was fine, because I didn't hold the pen right,

(29:29):
they would give me lower grades for it are because
I wouldn't conform, because I wouldn't conform to their standards.

Speaker 4 (29:38):
Do you remember I don't think that they do this
anywhere either, But do you remember the grip trainers that
they would put on your.

Speaker 6 (29:47):
H's Literally it's it's a waste.

Speaker 2 (29:51):
It's not like it's like when you would get chopsticks
that when you didn't know how to use them and
they would like reb a band. The thing was it
like that.

Speaker 4 (29:59):
It was like they put it on the end of
your pencil, and it was kind of like a racer material,
like gushy, and it would teach I know, it would
like teach you how to hold your pen.

Speaker 6 (30:11):
But it was fucked up.

Speaker 4 (30:12):
It was so hard to get it was impossible.

Speaker 2 (30:15):
It's like footbinding.

Speaker 1 (30:15):
It is.

Speaker 4 (30:16):
It's footbinding, impossible, possible, and it's painful.

Speaker 6 (30:20):
There's actually no one who's wrong.

Speaker 2 (30:21):
What are we doing to the children?

Speaker 6 (30:23):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (30:24):
Now I feel like the kids aren't getting tortured anymore.
I feel like they're all just like using computers and iPads.

Speaker 2 (30:30):
Yeah. Are they even getting taught to write? Right there?
It's like they're in secretary school. They're just sitting there
on the computers.

Speaker 1 (30:39):
Wait, have you did anybody listen to I know rosden't,
but did you listen Greta?

Speaker 6 (30:44):
Did you my chance to listen.

Speaker 1 (30:45):
To like the Daily podcast about like how we fundamentally
taught a generation of people how to read incorrectly? No,
but I'm obsessed with Okay, okay, do we do we
remember hooked on?

Speaker 2 (30:58):
Of course?

Speaker 6 (30:58):
Okay?

Speaker 1 (30:59):
So hooked ons, like is the right way to learn
how to read? It's how our generations I think learned
how to read. But I think shortly after our generation.
There was a woman in like the early aughts who
was like, no, like phonetic, Like, phonetic learning is like
not helpful and not fun and not intuitive, and so
there's an intuitive way to learn by way of finding

(31:20):
context clues and like learning context around words and letters
and like so and and she kind of was like
shitting on phonics, like while she was like populated on
shitted on phonics hard. While she was like populating this
like new basically this new way of learning.

Speaker 6 (31:37):
And everyone believed her.

Speaker 1 (31:39):
Everyone was like, this woman's right, Phonics sucks. Fuck phonics.
Let's now teach all of our kids how to learn intuitively.

Speaker 6 (31:46):
I can't remember what.

Speaker 3 (31:47):
I'm as, so what does that mean? I'm now used.

Speaker 6 (31:50):
Here's what Michael Barbarros.

Speaker 2 (31:52):
It means that you listen to intuition the song.

Speaker 6 (31:57):
So it's kind of like, okay, here's how this is.

Speaker 1 (31:59):
So but instead of like you learn, you know, sometimes
you're learning like cat bat hat and you're like learning
how these like different like vowels or consonants move together.
We're like if with this new woman's way to learn,
it's like you look at bat and then you see
the words around it and you're like, like, I don't know.
It's kind of like I don't even know how to
describe it because this is not how I learned how

(32:20):
to read.

Speaker 6 (32:20):
But anyways, lo and behold.

Speaker 1 (32:23):
Now we're like, I think a decade out from like
teaching an entire generation how to read this, and studies
are now finding that kids fundamentally are like their comprehension
skills are bad.

Speaker 2 (32:36):
That does not surprise me because like, yeah.

Speaker 6 (32:40):
Okay, say say more. Look, why doesn't it surprise either.

Speaker 2 (32:42):
Of you rus children? I just no, I like, I'm like,
I'm on TikTok. I guess I have I have empirical
evidence that the kids are not all right. The generations
comeing up Generation ALPHA, that's the one after Gen Z.

(33:02):
They are dumb.

Speaker 6 (33:04):
They're called generation.

Speaker 4 (33:05):
Because they because we're at the end of the alphabet,
we had to start all over.

Speaker 2 (33:10):
But they are out stupid.

Speaker 4 (33:14):
I will just say, kids in general just are dumb
like that, you know, it's just period.

Speaker 5 (33:20):
They're dae fair face.

Speaker 3 (33:23):
I think that like the more.

Speaker 4 (33:28):
Like the Okay, when I'm on TikTok and I see
kids they have the knowledge of like this will give
me something, will fulfill me with something and then I'm
gonna like focus energy posting on this thing that will
like lead to other emotions and other feelings. Like I

(33:49):
feel so grateful that we didn't have that, because I
do think that. You know, the internet can make you
smarter in many ways, but it can also make you
dumber and so many more ways. And I get disturbed
when I see like ten year olds being like like
whatever it is on TikTok, and I'm just like I

(34:13):
and not to sound like a fucking boomer, but I'm like,
go and sit on a goddamn swing and like play outside,
like what are you doing fun?

Speaker 2 (34:21):
And use your pens and write heart above your eyes.
I think what it is is and I've noticed this.
I have sisters who are gen z. I think what
it is more than anything, it's a lack of curiosity
about the world because everything has been handed to them
and they are just not seeking out additional information. Everything's

(34:45):
been demystified. Yeah, were you dumb child, Greta, No.

Speaker 3 (34:51):
I was.

Speaker 4 (34:52):
I was not, And I'll tell you why. I was
curious to a fault where like I was. I.

Speaker 3 (35:01):
Well, we all went through a face.

Speaker 4 (35:02):
I saw some like uh, some tweet about.

Speaker 3 (35:06):
Someone that was like that was like if you were.

Speaker 4 (35:10):
We all went through a phase where we wanted to
be Harriet the Spy and I.

Speaker 2 (35:13):
Was like that was talk about.

Speaker 3 (35:17):
I was like, that is me.

Speaker 4 (35:19):
And I would just like I was a snoop Like
as a kid, I was just like look through everything,
want to find out everything. I was obsessed with, like
you know, movies like Now and Then where they would
try and solve a big mystery.

Speaker 3 (35:33):
And I also was a kid.

Speaker 4 (35:36):
That I hated other kids, like I just wanted to
hang out with my mom and her friends. Like I
just wanted to be forty seven smoking a Marlboro light,
having a gorgeous glass of fucking Sonseer, you know. And
I really was like is that so much to ask?
Like that's all that I wanted.

Speaker 1 (35:57):
Language Yeah, I mean Rose famously hates wine. But aside
from that, Rose was born of forty seven Marlborough smoking.

Speaker 2 (36:05):
I mean, I grew up in Boca Raton, Florida, Like
I was, you know, I was old before I was young.

Speaker 4 (36:11):
I mean, my my mom's friends would joke that I
was their age trapped.

Speaker 3 (36:16):
In a little tiny body.

Speaker 1 (36:17):
And that's like a really good quality to have. I
think that, like, I think that speaks to your character
now I think was it? I think cap er Lant
was also like one of these kids who are just
like she only hung out with an adults. Were you
an only child?

Speaker 3 (36:29):
I was not.

Speaker 4 (36:30):
I have two older siblings, but when I was my
both my siblings were out of the house by the
time I was oh.

Speaker 3 (36:38):
Ten, by the time I was nine nine.

Speaker 6 (36:40):
Time you were only child? Adjacent? Yeah, I was only
only child passing?

Speaker 4 (36:44):
Yeah, I in my mind I was the only child.

Speaker 5 (36:47):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (37:11):
A lot of like what I envied from other kids
like U in school was usually something to do with
like trends at the time, like crazy bones, Pokemon cards.

Speaker 4 (37:21):
Crazy bones. Oh my god, I forgot about crazy bones.

Speaker 1 (37:26):
Like crazy bones were banned at my school because kids
were too intense about trading and playing with them.

Speaker 2 (37:32):
Did y'all were lame? I was like suffocating myself so
that you would pass out and like get you get high?
Do you remember that, yes, choke yourself or when you go.

Speaker 4 (37:43):
You pant and you'd like be on all fours panting
until you pass out exactly.

Speaker 2 (37:48):
So it was that, and then it was those crushed
velvet textbook covers, those.

Speaker 1 (37:52):
Oh those are gorgeous, the stretchy, the stretchy like ones
that you could like roll up into a little ball.

Speaker 2 (37:59):
Oh my god, yeah, Greta. Something I'm wondering is were
you the kind of girl who when you had a
crush on someone, did you take your gelpen and write
missus TKTK I or mix. I don't know mix.

Speaker 4 (38:19):
I don't think I ever.

Speaker 3 (38:23):
I'm sure at.

Speaker 4 (38:25):
Some point I doodled someone else's last name. I think
I was mostly concerned about what my autograph would be.

Speaker 3 (38:33):
That was mostly what I was thinking.

Speaker 4 (38:35):
I was like, I was figuring out what my autograph
would be.

Speaker 3 (38:39):
And do you remember in.

Speaker 4 (38:40):
Like US Weekly's or people when they would have like
a handwriting expert that could tell you what people's autographs
like said about their personalities.

Speaker 6 (38:51):
I used to know.

Speaker 2 (38:52):
But what a what a stupid fake thing that I
absolutely would have consumed.

Speaker 3 (38:58):
I loved them.

Speaker 4 (38:59):
I was like, oh my god, like Brad Pitt's signature
says that he's sensitive but also.

Speaker 3 (39:05):
A little shy and like whatever.

Speaker 4 (39:08):
And I just remember signing my name over and over
and over again, thinking like one day, when my autograph
gets you know, deciphered by and handwriting expert what are
they going to think about me? So I was mostly
obsessed with doing that.

Speaker 2 (39:26):
So I didn't care about my signature when I was
a young, a young thing. But one thing I did
perfect was my mom's signature so that I could use
her credit card yep, and so that I could sign
permission slips yep, like disciplinary notices. I remember one time actually,

(39:47):
I like got a note sent home because I was
doing bad in some class, and I forged my mom's
signature on it. And then one day I was at
school and I got called down to like a guidance
counselor office, and both my parents were sitting in the room,
and I was gooped because I discovered that I had
forged my mom's signature.

Speaker 3 (40:06):
How did they discover that? Did they call?

Speaker 2 (40:08):
They had to have called her, I think they called.
And the thing with my mom was like she had
to pretend like she was upset about it. But my
mom many times was like, just sign it. I don't
have time for that, Like it absolutely is something that
she would have preferred me to do for the convenience,
but she had to, you know, pretend that she was

(40:31):
upset about it.

Speaker 4 (40:33):
I also was obsessed with forging everyone's signature. I could
do my mom's perfectly, I could do my sisters perfectly.
I also did the same thing I would get I
was queen of getting disciplined disciplinary letters in the mail.
I would always intercept them. But yes, oh my god,
I was like the mail, honey. The only reason why
the mailman came to my house was for my disciplinary

(40:54):
fucking letters. And I would forge my mom's signature all
the time. And similarly to your mom, my mom was
just like, yeah, I don't have time for this, just
like fucking sign it like whatever. I can still do
her signature to this day, and it's useless now because
she's dead, honey, So I ain't got no use for it.

Speaker 6 (41:14):
Did y'all?

Speaker 1 (41:15):
Did any of y'all have like a coveted field trip
like every year? I'll start with mine. We had this
thing called it was called like Reading Millionaires or the
million Words Club or something, and it was like if
you could read one million words in a school year,
which was we would have to like log all the
books we read and calculate an estimated average of how

(41:38):
many words were in the book based on like simple
math of like of the pages. And if we did
get to the you know, million words club. We got
to go to six Flags?

Speaker 2 (41:50):
Wow did you get did you read a million words?

Speaker 6 (41:53):
No? But I don't think to six flags like, No,
I don't.

Speaker 2 (41:56):
I don't think you can.

Speaker 1 (41:58):
It's easier than you think. I mean, it's a I mean,
a million is really not that much.

Speaker 6 (42:02):
I think it's not.

Speaker 2 (42:04):
That's not true.

Speaker 6 (42:06):
It really isn't that much.

Speaker 2 (42:07):
No, it's I remember hearing something like it would take
you thirty years to count to a million.

Speaker 4 (42:12):
Well wait, let me see something. I'm going to google
how many.

Speaker 6 (42:16):
Words in a book, because.

Speaker 4 (42:20):
You know, these bitches will know how many words are
in the Bible.

Speaker 6 (42:23):
Okay, seven hundred thousand?

Speaker 3 (42:25):
It's oh really?

Speaker 4 (42:26):
I here it says one hundred and eighty one thousand,
two hundred and fifty three words are in the Bible.

Speaker 6 (42:33):
Maybe that's the New testamenty.

Speaker 4 (42:34):
So you need to read the Bible ten times to
hit a million?

Speaker 2 (42:38):
Who the Bible ten times?

Speaker 3 (42:40):
Less than ten?

Speaker 6 (42:41):
Probably I'm reading that.

Speaker 1 (42:43):
The Bible's seven hundred. I'm reading that the Bible is
seven hundred thousand words.

Speaker 6 (42:47):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (42:48):
That's Christian propaganda, Yeah it is, it is.

Speaker 6 (42:52):
What about y'all field trips Okay.

Speaker 4 (42:55):
We like when I was in the fifth grade, my
class went online like an outdoor adventure like.

Speaker 3 (43:05):
Camping trip. I guess where we'd go.

Speaker 4 (43:09):
And I grew up in DC, and we'd go to
this camp in Maryland and it was like on the Chesapeake.
And there were a few things that come to mind.
First of all, I was not an outdoors girl. That
was not my vibe. I was like I wanted to
be in. I was an indoor kid, okay. I wanted
to be specifically in like my mother's closet and or

(43:34):
like I don't know, just not doing outdoor stuff.

Speaker 3 (43:37):
I didn't like dirt. That wasn't me.

Speaker 4 (43:40):
So here I was, and I was ill equipped, not
in the right clothes, like I was wearing my cute
little like gap puffers, and all these kids are in
like Columbia, like Patagonia, you know, a REI like the
real brands. Serving Cunt, Yeah, serving Cunt, one might say.
The first thing that I remember is we went on

(44:01):
like a little hike down to where the Chesapeake was
on the bay, and something must have happened because it
was filled.

Speaker 3 (44:12):
In my kid mind, it was.

Speaker 4 (44:14):
Filled with dead fish. Every single fish. It was like
washed ashore completely dead. It was like something from a
horror movie, like birds picking it over.

Speaker 3 (44:24):
Naturally.

Speaker 4 (44:25):
I was terrified because I was like yeh, like ah, like,
I don't want to be near these dead fucking fish.
This is gross. I'm not having fun. I don't want
a mountain bike. I'm cold, and the boy that I
have a crush on is not giving me literally any
attention because I just was not into it. So that
was number one. The number two. All of our meals

(44:46):
we like cooked like campfire vibes, so you know, you
take foil and you put whatever the fuck in there,
like potatoes and corn and whatever shit. And I remember
eating this meal and the potatoes were my potatoes were
hard because it was impatient and I didn't wait long enough.
And then the worst part of this entire trip was

(45:07):
I got diarrhea.

Speaker 3 (45:09):
So got diarrhea. I had to dig.

Speaker 4 (45:13):
You know, you have to dig that six inch hole.
Now I don't know what six inches is, honey, Okay,
I really don't. So I have to go into the
woods with a little fucking shovel, dig dig dig. I
probably dug like maybe an inch, like I don't even know.
Shit overflowing from this hole in the ground. And then

(45:35):
this other kid who was in my class also I think,
had to go and ship his pants. He was like
jetting in the woods and we like two, like two
wild animals. We locked eyes, Me squatting, shitting, ship falling
out of my house.

Speaker 3 (45:57):
Into a shallow you know, like grave.

Speaker 4 (46:00):
Radean and then William hide from Baird, God bless him.
He looked at me and like, I think saw the
ship drop and kept on his journey.

Speaker 1 (46:16):
Wow, and now you're like bonded forever. You you that's
your husband, and.

Speaker 4 (46:22):
How legally had to get married. And that's how I
met Abe. That's how we met. He saw the ship
fly out of my hole when I was in the
fifth grade, and that was it.

Speaker 5 (46:31):
It was just true love.

Speaker 3 (46:33):
It was so traumatic.

Speaker 4 (46:34):
I felt so sick, and I just remember like waking
up the next morning being like, please God, I cannot
get out of here fast enough. I don't want to zipline.
I don't want to like do whatever the fuck. I
just want to get on the bus and go home.

Speaker 3 (46:49):
I hated it.

Speaker 1 (46:51):
I we had boy Scout camp, and I similarly hated
all things nature. Hated shitting in a hole, hated waking
up wet or tired or dry or rose any field
trip trauma. I'm sure there is that you all that

(47:11):
you've repressed since that.

Speaker 2 (47:13):
Yeah. No, I do remember once going on this like
science themed kayaking trip. I was also not really I
was an indoor kid, you know. I loved reading and
theater and blah blah blah. But I did go on
this kayaking trip, I think just because I really liked science.

(47:33):
And I fell out of a kayak at some point
and that was not great. But then something. This wasn't
like a travel field trip, but we did used to
go on an annual field trip to a local science museum,
and for some reason, we always dissected things there, Like
we never really dissected stuff in school. It was only

(47:56):
on these trips. And one time we dissected baby sharks
and learned in doing that that sharks pee through their skin.
So when we cut the sharks open, piss flooded out.

Speaker 4 (48:14):
Oh my godness, for me when I died, I hope
they kept me open and pissed just live everywhere.

Speaker 3 (48:23):
That's amazing.

Speaker 6 (48:25):
I will do you one better. We had this.

Speaker 1 (48:29):
So I grew up in the suburbs of Illinois, as
we know, the Midwest or a lot of just like
middle of the country schools systems have no infrastructure on
teaching kids how to have sex or any sort of
sex education in any way. Our like health classes were
not equipped to actually do sex talk stuff. And even
though they like abstinence was widely taught. And so there

(48:52):
was this science museum called the Robert Crown Center that
was in the kind of Chicago Tri State area that
high schools in the entire Tristate area would shuttle kids
as soon as they turned as soon as they get
to fifth grade, these kids would be shuttled in mass
to the Robbert Crown Center so that an expert at

(49:12):
this museum would give them the sex talk. And we
were there like watching like the Miracle Love Life and
look at looking at these like baby models. And I,
at the ripe age of fifth grade, learned that sex
happens when you put a penis in a vagina.

Speaker 6 (49:27):
That's really yes, can you? But I was so sheltered.

Speaker 1 (49:32):
All I knew was that there's naked likeness and like rubbing,
Like I knew that it's like two naked bodies, But
I my brain never at any point.

Speaker 6 (49:43):
Put together that the Pope goes into the JJ.

Speaker 4 (49:47):
I feel like my sex education came from me watching
like movies that I shouldn't have been watching.

Speaker 6 (49:56):
Like can you think of about movies.

Speaker 4 (49:58):
Like specifically Jerry McGuire. My mom was like obsessed with
Jerry maguire and it is a great movie. But I
just remember when when Tom Cruise is fucking Kelly. Why
am I blinking on her last name?

Speaker 6 (50:15):
Uh uh?

Speaker 4 (50:19):
Ke Kelly Preston? May she rest your niece?

Speaker 3 (50:23):
Is that her name? Kelly Preston?

Speaker 1 (50:26):
Right?

Speaker 4 (50:27):
Who was married to John Travolta. Yes, Tom Cruise is
fucking Kelly Preston. They're standing. They're fucking like in her library,
in her house, and she's like a business woman who's
like not fucking around, and like while they're having sex,
she's like, Jerry, you need to listen to me, like you, Jerry,

(50:52):
Like while they're having sex, and then they finish having sex,
and then they eat this like gorgeous bowl of strawberry
and in my mind, I was like, that is sex,
Like that, well, it is everything.

Speaker 2 (51:08):
That's why he keeps strawberries in my fridge at all times.

Speaker 4 (51:10):
You're a big man, Jerry, Yeah, and like like standing
like just bouncing like Jerry.

Speaker 6 (51:15):
Yes, dry, I don't even know the plot of Jerry Maguire.

Speaker 3 (51:20):
It's not a sports agent.

Speaker 6 (51:23):
That's all you need to say.

Speaker 2 (51:25):
Yeah, bros, So I discovered what sex was in a
way that I think a lot of kids do, which
was I was out of sleepover at my friend's house
and we walked in on his mom.

Speaker 4 (51:35):
No, that is so mortifying, and also like for them, well,
I mean, if you.

Speaker 3 (51:43):
Went did you go home?

Speaker 4 (51:44):
Did you tell your parents? I saw mister and missus
Fuck fucking.

Speaker 2 (51:49):
No. But his mom was very embarrassed and made us pancakes.
And then this boy and I was my best friend.
We decided to copy.

Speaker 4 (51:59):
Them after pancakes.

Speaker 3 (52:06):
After pancakes.

Speaker 4 (52:07):
Yeah, were you guys horny kids?

Speaker 2 (52:28):
Yes?

Speaker 6 (52:29):
I was as well.

Speaker 1 (52:30):
And this comes back to gel pens, because my horniness
would manifest trenifest in like really really horny drawing really
of like Pokemon trainers and like Greek mythology, like gods.

Speaker 2 (52:44):
So that's why we send each other so much Disney porn.

Speaker 1 (52:47):
Yes, No, okay, Greta, you have to know like Rose
and I are, like, you know, I wouldn't say like
active consumers of like tune.

Speaker 6 (52:55):
Porn but we do. I would say it that we are.

Speaker 3 (52:57):
Do you do you like?

Speaker 4 (52:59):
Do you you whack it to tuon porn? Or are
you just admirers of the art I have?

Speaker 6 (53:05):
I I have it.

Speaker 1 (53:07):
I don't regularly whack to tone porn, but I I
you have.

Speaker 6 (53:11):
But I definitely have pulled.

Speaker 1 (53:12):
My patch yes to some to some like Hercules Milo
from Atlantis. No, it's Maloa from Atlantis and Tarzan is
the one that everyone talks about. But there's a lot
of good tune porn out there that isn't mister xtuone
who's an amazing tone porn creator.

Speaker 2 (53:26):
But have you whacked it to tune porn? Greta?

Speaker 4 (53:30):
I like, I have not whacked it to touon porn,
but like I'm very interested.

Speaker 2 (53:35):
I okay, I will send you some recommendations, please do.

Speaker 3 (53:38):
I watched porn last night.

Speaker 4 (53:40):
My like, my relationship with porn is very I'm very
in and out.

Speaker 2 (53:45):
You know.

Speaker 4 (53:45):
Sometimes I'm like, I really want to watch porn, and
then other times I'm like, you know, is it ethical?

Speaker 6 (53:51):
You know what I mean?

Speaker 3 (53:51):
And that's kind.

Speaker 4 (53:52):
Of like sort of the battle that I've always in
with myself and I really only like to watch one
very specific type of porn, which is typically like a
girl being dumbed ideally by another girl. If if I

(54:13):
if it has to be with a man, fine, but
like I just want there. I want it to be
with toys, and I want it to be dirty talk.

Speaker 3 (54:20):
And that's it.

Speaker 4 (54:21):
I don't need anything else, and not even dirty talk.
I just want it to be like someone needs to
be Like did I say you could come?

Speaker 3 (54:29):
Not yet?

Speaker 4 (54:29):
Like don't, don't. Don't you think about it? Don't think
about coming yet, like you know, and it's so hard
to find. It's so hard to find.

Speaker 2 (54:37):
Important question. Do you need the setup? Do you need
a storyline? Do you need your narrative? H Greta, you
are my girl.

Speaker 4 (54:45):
No, honestly, rip the panties off, let me see the puss,
blast it off with a goddamn fucking hitachi and let's
be done. Like I need. I literally need under two minutes,
that's what I need. I want it to be in
and out. I'm not trying to lounge you, but I
don't have time. I'm trying to release and get on

(55:05):
with my day. I'm trying to relax. I'm trying to
do whatever I'm trying to do. And you know, last
night I thought I found a good, a good little clip,
but then it turned into this like weird setup where
a girl was like tied up against the banister of
the stairs, and then a guy just.

Speaker 3 (55:25):
Kept on putting his dick through like the nuts through
the stairs.

Speaker 2 (55:30):
That's so funny.

Speaker 4 (55:32):
I kept on like making her. He was like face
fucking her through the banister, and I was kind of laughing,
and I was like, this is so not horny at all.
I'm just like, I'm get I'm just having fun at
this point, and was.

Speaker 1 (55:45):
Gigglingesty, that does sound fun with porn like that, I
feel like I love this discussion on porn. I feel
like with porn like that that I also get very
distracted on like little details in porn. And I don't watch,
you know, heterosexual porn, so I don't know what the
tea is over.

Speaker 6 (55:58):
There, but I I do feel like, not great, it's
not great.

Speaker 2 (56:02):
No, it's not great.

Speaker 1 (56:03):
Well that's why you look for, you know, two women
fucking or like I feel like gay porn.

Speaker 6 (56:07):
I don't know. I feel like everyone everyone you know
loves gay porn.

Speaker 4 (56:11):
I love gay porn. I love watching to be honest,
with you. I love watching gay porn. I can't really
whack it to gay porn for me as much because
I need.

Speaker 2 (56:20):
To because you don't respect them, because because.

Speaker 3 (56:23):
I don't respect you know, I don't respect gays.

Speaker 2 (56:26):
Well, I mean that's kind of I think that's fair.
Do you like, since we're talking about pens, do you
like erotica possibly potentially written with a gel pen? Have
you ever have you ever read the seminal work Uncle
Ronnie's New Whore.

Speaker 3 (56:41):
Shut No, I must it's.

Speaker 6 (56:44):
You know, talk about this.

Speaker 2 (56:46):
We're not going to talk about it again on the podcast, but.

Speaker 3 (56:49):
Hold on, is it real erotica? Because I'm actually I think.

Speaker 4 (56:53):
I would be the kind of person that we get
really horny for erotica.

Speaker 2 (56:57):
Yeah, I mean, I think erotica is a very gen
term for it. It's it's written porn.

Speaker 1 (57:04):
It's called Uncle Ronnie's New Horror Gay Incest Porn.

Speaker 4 (57:10):
I love written gay incesto.

Speaker 1 (57:13):
Yeah, well, unfortunately new horn love incest porn. I hate
to say it, but with the okay on the topic
of this, of this Dix through staircase rails, et cetera.
What you're describing, honestly, is something of a thematic quandary
of porn, which is porn actors making choices. You're an actress,

(57:34):
you understand this.

Speaker 6 (57:35):
That is it.

Speaker 1 (57:35):
They're making a choice to be like I'm gonna do
oh maybe I'll do it through this ban this like
railing or whatever. And this is like an interesting thing.
It's like no, it's it's not like what I was.
I saw this like this only fans porn, Like a
few weeks ago, where in these two gay guys for
some reason or another post it up too fuck next

(57:59):
to a like life size cutout of Mariah Carey that
was in this person's bedroom, and.

Speaker 3 (58:05):
It is pride.

Speaker 2 (58:06):
They were trying to make. They were trying to go viral.
They were trying to make a meme. But they're not
trying to be sexy. If you watch the porn, it's
extremely earnest. I mean I didn't see the setup, so
I don't I only saw the two minute clips, so
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (58:19):
How they go, like making love?

Speaker 2 (58:21):
Did I reference Mariah? Like are they well?

Speaker 1 (58:25):
The tweet that it circulated on did have a Mariah
lyric in it. But if you watch the porn, because
I didn't know how they got that's the thing. I
don't know how they got there, and so I don't
really want the narrative. But in this case, I was like, actually,
do want to know how you got there and why?
Because it was because they were like it was I mean,
just like if I didn't see the Mariah cut out,

(58:46):
it would be really really hot porn.

Speaker 6 (58:48):
But I was like, why is this here? And you're
so earn.

Speaker 2 (58:51):
Mariah's scrolling on Twitter since season like, now why am
I in it? Now?

Speaker 6 (58:54):
Why am I in it?

Speaker 4 (58:56):
Mariah gets pissed that she's not more that she doesn't
have more of a story.

Speaker 1 (59:01):
Yeah, Honestly, similarly ones, I'm also like a very I
love like verbal porn and so like I you know,
I'm always watching porn with the sound on.

Speaker 6 (59:09):
That's not the case with a lot of people.

Speaker 1 (59:10):
I know people that prefer to watch porn the sound off,
which is crazy to me. But one time I was
watching porn and there were these two guys fucking and
like the soundtracks that people pick sometimes for like sex
music is like so distracting. It's like the most KD
out like EDM, like whatever blasting. One time I was
watching this porn and I was like, why are they

(59:30):
why is this guy getting railed to Judy Collins cover
of both Sides?

Speaker 6 (59:35):
Now, like what is happen?

Speaker 1 (59:37):
Like because they're happening because they're gay, but bothcause now gay.
It's like that's like lesbian divorce music. Like that is
like not even gay music.

Speaker 4 (59:50):
By the way, there have been moments where I've been
watching porn and I've shazamed.

Speaker 3 (59:55):
Porn. I'm not kidding you. I did it with that song.
It's like soft house.

Speaker 4 (01:00:02):
It's like sits it.

Speaker 1 (01:00:06):
You're gonna have to send it to us. That's very you,
Kamala meme. Can you turn this off? Can you turn
this up?

Speaker 6 (01:00:12):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:00:13):
I I it's sometimes distracting, but I love the I
love choices, and sometimes choices get you there, like I
like you like. I often will just do like too,
like I want a two minute clip and then I
gotta get on with my day. But sometimes and Rose,
you and I have talked about this, sometimes.

Speaker 6 (01:00:32):
The search for the perfect clip.

Speaker 2 (01:00:35):
Oh, if it's not hour, if it's not the right,
if it's not the right thing that I need to
get me there, I'm sorry. Everything else gets set aside.
I have plans canceled, I have dinner reservation, move it.
I have a podcast to record. We're gonna have to reschedule.
I have to go through sixty nine pages of porn

(01:00:59):
Hub to find the right thing to jerk off to.

Speaker 4 (01:01:04):
You know, you know it's dark when you're on like
page fourteen and you're like, how have I not found anything?
And you think you find something and then you don't,
Like I thought I found something the other day and
then it turned out to be this like elaborate, like
massage fisting thing, and I was like, I don't want

(01:01:24):
to see fisting personally, I don't.

Speaker 6 (01:01:27):
I don't want to see Okay, I disagree, asshole.

Speaker 4 (01:01:32):
I want to see if you fist my my asshole, fine,
fisting my pussy hole.

Speaker 3 (01:01:39):
I don't want to see it.

Speaker 6 (01:01:40):
I don't want to see that.

Speaker 2 (01:01:42):
Yeah, I feel like, uh, not unless you have a
gel pen gripped in that fits.

Speaker 4 (01:01:46):
Yeah, exactly, Not unless you're inserting a like the gel
pen this shimmer, the like blue Mermaid shimmer jelp into
my pussy and then autographing your name on my surface?
Do I want you fucking fisty so?

Speaker 2 (01:02:07):
And you know what that I'm sure that's out there.

Speaker 4 (01:02:10):
Yeah, And that's why we go to the Guana Colleges
Tech to get that done.

Speaker 3 (01:02:15):
That's why it's important to.

Speaker 6 (01:02:17):
Go get your checkup.

Speaker 3 (01:02:19):
To go get your check up.

Speaker 4 (01:02:20):
They're like they open me up. They're like, wow, I
see I was just about to say, Rodney.

Speaker 6 (01:02:24):
Dangerfield, Like what you have?

Speaker 2 (01:02:26):
Really? You have really great handwriting, Rodney Dangerfield. Or they're
like oh, they're like, I can see that you ford
your mom's signature. Slide into our DMS and let us
know what's your favorite school supply. Do you love the

(01:02:47):
smell of freshly milled computer paper? Slid into our DMS
on Instagram at like a Virgin four twenty sixty nine
and let us know. Also become a patron Patreon dot com,
Slash like a Virgin for weekly bonus episodes.

Speaker 4 (01:03:05):
And.

Speaker 2 (01:03:07):
Buy our merch at like a Virgin four twenty sixty
nine dot com and follow us. You can follow me
anywhere you want at Rosdamu, and.

Speaker 1 (01:03:15):
You can follow me at friends, squishco anywhere you like.

Speaker 2 (01:03:18):
Like a Virgin is an iHeartRadio production. Our producer is
phoebe Under, with support from Lindsay Hoffman and Nikki Etre.
Until next week, Sayonara Adios and now a clip from
our Patreon where this week we're talking about Real Housewives

(01:03:43):
of New York and also, you know, sort of the
future of the kind of content we'll be doing on Patreon.
Become a patron at patreon dot com slash like a
Virgin for weekly bonus episodes and more. Whaw. The recurring
storyline on this show of like that there's never enough
food at the It is funny, it's a good it's

(01:04:03):
a good housewives bit, and it's also like.

Speaker 1 (01:04:05):
Me, yea, if a party doesn't have food, go fuck yourself.

Speaker 2 (01:04:09):
She's like, let's go to Nobu.

Speaker 6 (01:04:10):
Yes, that was a.

Speaker 1 (01:04:11):
Serve that I thought that was so funny. And Erin's
like being very unfun I mean I would if I
was Aaron, I would be really really pissed obviously.

Speaker 6 (01:04:18):
But I don't.

Speaker 1 (01:04:19):
I'm not team Aaron. I think that she is probably
my least favorite in the entire no, but.

Speaker 2 (01:04:23):
Erin is very necessary because she, unlike Sigh, she drives
the platform.

Speaker 6 (01:04:30):
She does.

Speaker 2 (01:04:31):
She is the one who's having the events. She's the
one who's starting shit with people and having issues with people.
And you can be a bad person, but a good
housewife and actually the worst of a person you are
the better of a housewife.

Speaker 1 (01:04:45):
You usually are something speaking of Aaron, something that I
wrote down, and this is very bad housewive good housewive dichotomy.
Erin is a little Kelly Bensimone coded to me. She's
way smarter than Kelly, which is why it's different like Kelly.
It's like she's not as delusional as Kelly. Well, Kelly
wasn't even delusional. She just literally had no no. But

(01:05:06):
the thing is, in order to be delusional, you have
to have like aspirations, motives, incentives, values. She had no thoughts, feelings,
believes and motives of values. She literally was just reacting
to things with an empty head in real time.

Speaker 6 (01:05:20):
She was so stupid.

Speaker 2 (01:05:24):
She was and is.

Speaker 1 (01:05:25):
But Aaron gives Aaron provides a similar archetype. This like
kind of like I'm driving the plot forward. I don't
really know why, but I'm gonna do it anyways, and
now everyone hates me like everyone hated Kelly Bensimone.

Speaker 2 (01:05:39):
Yeah. I think Aarin does lack a little bit of
self awareness that probably comes from, you know, a lifetime
of privilege. But she's very confident and because of that,
you know, she is making things happen, and that is
kind of the most important. The most important things you
can do as a housewive are either create the plot

(01:06:01):
in a really engaging way or react in a really
engaging way. And the worst thing you can do is
neither of those things. Is just sort of be there.

Speaker 6 (01:06:10):
I guess in some.

Speaker 1 (01:06:10):
Way, Kelly is maybe more of a reactor. But yeah, wait,
something that we didn't talk about was Jessel basically suggesting
that Jenna lyons creative direct the ending of her two
year dry spell.

Speaker 2 (01:06:27):
Well I missed that.

Speaker 6 (01:06:28):
At the wedding, Jessel.

Speaker 1 (01:06:30):
So, Jenna was telling the girls that she just got
broken up with or rather they just broke up and
life happens, andah blah blah blah. She's not revealing too much,
but they have like a little moment, and I think
Sy has this momentre it's like, oh my god, Jenna's
like finally being like vulnerable or whatever, and Jessel's a
part of this moment. And they're talking and as Jenna's
trying to like describe like the breakup or just like

(01:06:50):
she's having a literally like emotionally describing something about the breakup,
Jessel interrupts her and goes do you want to have a
threesome with me and my husband?

Speaker 2 (01:06:59):
Yeah, it seems like a way to solve their problems.
Her husband hates her, they hate each other, and the
fact that they don't fuck concerns me. To me, it's like,
I don't even think that the husband. For a while,
it was like or like, for a minute, I was like,
the husband's gay, clearly.

Speaker 6 (01:07:13):
But I don't even think he's gay.

Speaker 1 (01:07:14):
I think that he legitimately wants to like please and
support her, and I think that she has some.

Speaker 2 (01:07:23):
I can see.

Speaker 6 (01:07:23):
I feel like maybe I'm projecting cultural religious trauma.

Speaker 1 (01:07:28):
That's like underneath a lot of her insecurities around IVF sex,
being a good wife performing. I feel like I had
a lot of shame around sex because of my parents
and their beliefs on me. And I think that if
her parents' beliefs had such an impact on her opinions

(01:07:50):
on IVF and how she had to conceal that for years,
I wouldn't be surprised if there was something else going
on in her sex life or.

Speaker 2 (01:07:59):
You know, yeah, you know what I actually think it
might be is he loves her. She hates him because
their story is that they were friends for years and
then got and then just like got together and had
these kids. And she, from the looks of it, she
runs their life. And I bet he is like a
full cook, you know, like she just like owns him.

Speaker 1 (01:08:23):
Yeah, and she's literally gonna force force him to have
a third child, like forcible impregnation.

Speaker 2 (01:08:30):
And then their marriage is gonna fall apart. Their marriage,
it's well, it's will be her season two plotline, you think, absolutely.

Speaker 1 (01:08:38):
Okay, I hope we get it that soon because I
can't wait another season.

Speaker 2 (01:08:41):
Maybe season maybe season three. No, like season two, it'll
be really brewing in the background, and maybe, like as
the second season of this new iteration of Ronnie is airing,
it'll start falling apart publicly, and then we won't get
it on camera until season three.

Speaker 1 (01:08:59):
Oh god, yeah, they will plan their divorce exactly when
they're not filming. Well, that was quite a recap, that was,
And honestly, I feel like Ronnie has not really been
worth recapping until now.

Speaker 2 (01:09:11):
Yeah, because it is. But this this also is the
mid season point, so yeah, well, so it's good that
we checked in, and maybe the next time we'll check
in is at the end of the season, like before
the reunion episodes, and then we'll do like post reunion
check in work, full wrap up,