Elon Wants What Zenon Has (feat. Gabe Bergado)

• Disney *CHANNEL Gay Gabe Bergado takes Fran & Rose to cable TV church to spread the gospel of the golden era of DCOMs from military propaganda like Cadet Kelly to transsexual merman propaganda The 13th Year
• Plus, Fran & Rose discuss seeing Caroline Polachek and Ethel Cain live, The Starling Girl, new Kylie Minogue and the POTENTIAL of playing Zelda

We release bonus content every week for our Patreon subscribers! Buy our genius merch! Or if you're broke follow our finsta @likeavirgin42069

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Disney gays are different from Disney Channel gaze. We are
not a monolith, clarifying that that's really important. I'm not
out here with Mickey Mouse's ears. No, no, no, I'm
trying to.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
You keep them, you keep, but you keep them things
out here. You have a pair you just for ic
She's sheen. I'm me, no me, not my name?

Speaker 1 (00:28):
Yo?

Speaker 3 (00:30):
What is your childe?

Speaker 1 (00:34):
I am a cook.

Speaker 3 (00:37):
Your life's going down.

Speaker 4 (00:39):
The floor like.

Speaker 1 (00:41):
Round.

Speaker 2 (00:51):
Welcome to Like a Virgin, the show where we give
yesterday's pop culture today's takes. I'mro's DomU Frand and I
Believe were both still coming down from the incredible high
of the Caroline polchech ethel Caine Show this weekend, also
known as Motherfest.

Speaker 3 (01:11):
Okay, wait, can we talk about the fact that it
is annoying that people kept shouting, screaming mother and Caroline Politecks.

Speaker 2 (01:21):
Screaming mother, screaming Diva, scream just screaming things. I mean
I did at one point on the scream we Love
you Mima during the Ethyl Cane set, But I, you know,
leashed myself.

Speaker 3 (01:33):
Were you sitting by myself or were you with the group?

Speaker 4 (01:36):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:36):
No, I was sitting by myself because I didn't buy
a ticket until Friday night because we were we were
at a party Friday night, and I had like vaguely
known that Caroline was playing and then, but I didn't
know that Ethel was opening for her. And so as
soon as I heard that, I was like, well, I

(01:57):
can't miss that combo. So I just uber on my
way home. I just bought a ticket and got a
really good seat and it was amazing. Also, you know,
I'm sure you experienced some of this obviously. That show
is very much like our demographic in terms of listeners.
And there were many rosebuds there Hi, which was very

(02:21):
which was really nice.

Speaker 3 (02:22):
I definitely talked to a virgin or two. It is
our demographic in fact, Like we can definitely write this
off for work for sure.

Speaker 2 (02:29):
Oh good idea. I should have. I should have just
charged it to the business.

Speaker 3 (02:33):
Not that not our business card. You can write it
off on your own taxes, sweetie. Unless I got because
I was a plus one to our friend Anya to
this to this concert, and I, much like you, Ethel
was the thing that pushed me over the edge. So
I don't I'm not as much of a Caroline stan
as the the average girl, average girl being you and

(02:57):
our listeners.

Speaker 2 (02:58):
Oh I'm the average girl. Yeah, okay, I'll take it. Yeah,
girl next door just kidding, Caroline Politic is not a
girl next door. The girl next door to like a cemetery, ye,
like a whorehouse.

Speaker 3 (03:12):
She's a girl next door to like an alien planet.

Speaker 2 (03:15):
The girl next door to like like a chemical plant
that exploded and like mutated everyone with radioactive and yeah,
now everything is sunset colored and she and you can
only speak through like improvisational dance moves like and and vocalize. Yeah,
that was amazing, incredible, you know, I like so as

(03:39):
I was saying, like ethel was what tipped you over
the edge wanting to go to the show, and I
her set really was spellbinding and like took us to church,
and I was so into it, and you know Caroline,
I felt like, obviously I love Caroline, I love her music.
I mean, Desire I Want to Turn Into You is
my favorite album of the year so far. But I

(03:59):
went into the show feeling like she was like a
bonus for me. And then as soon as her set started,
I realized how excited I was to see her, and
like the energy was amazing. It was so fun, Like
I was dancing. I didn't realize how much I wanted
to hear those songs live and be in a huge
space where everyone was singing along to them. It was

(04:23):
so fun, one thousand percent same Like I Caroline was
my bonus, and right when she got there, I was like, oh,
like it gave me so much more appreciation for who
she is as an artist, as truly as an artist.

Speaker 3 (04:39):
And you know, I don't, I don't. I don't want
to compare Caroline Pelchick because they're extremely different lanes. But
like I did say this on our Patreon with Hunter Harris,
which everybody should listen to this week, But I knew
Ethelkane did not have has like virtually no stage presence.
It's a joke she's made before. She's talked about how
you know she's still like getting her groove on the stage.

(05:00):
She's like still kind of like meek and quiet and
like just kind of like wanders around and whisper and
whispers sometimes. And but she Ethel was vocally perfect. Like
I was really nervous for the vocals because so much
of her song, like her songs really rely on auto tune.
And the autotune quality is part of what I love

(05:21):
about her music. I think the autotune sounds so cool,
so I was like, what is she actually going to
sound like? And she was crystal clear.

Speaker 2 (05:29):
When I could hear her.

Speaker 3 (05:29):
That is so by the time Caroline came on, it
was such a tonal difference, like like.

Speaker 2 (05:35):
The energy shifted immediately running really filled up the room.

Speaker 3 (05:39):
Production value, the set was gorge like simple, effective.

Speaker 2 (05:43):
Like visuals were amazing. She just had really great command
of the audience. Yes, obviously you know. Ethel's set was
very emotional. I wept during sun Bleached Flies, but then
Airlines was emotional in this different way. It was like

(06:03):
sexy and visceral. And it also like when she dedicated
I Believe to Sophie, like I cried during that song
and it was and Billions when everyone was like swaying
their hands was so great. And her encore when she
closed with door like that was magical. It was just

(06:27):
such a great, great show, like a perfect lineup of artists,
the gayest you know, like non binary Telfour, Baddy crowd,
but like with a slight like country Girls make do Lean.
There was like, yeah, there were we Anya and I

(06:49):
got dinner before like around the corner, and we kept
seeing like you know, girls in like platform docs with
dark roots and like smoky I makeup, and I was like,
I know where they're going.

Speaker 3 (07:01):
Okay, don't get it twisted. I definitely had a little
bit of smoke on my eyes as well. Billions was
definitely my favorite part of the show. I did not
like Billions when it was released. I have not revisited.

Speaker 2 (07:14):
Really, yes, it's so good.

Speaker 3 (07:16):
I was wrong. I was wrong. I don't know why
I was underwhelmed. I didn't under I think I mostly
just didn't understand the song. I didn't get it. And
something that I love about Caroline and why I'm now
like a few cars up on the Caroline train, Like
it's almost as if like because her songs are such
a landscape, they're like such a sonic like tapestry that

(07:38):
is so specific and so like of an artist that
cannot be replicated, Like no one can really do what
Caroline does, and she is so singular save like a
few different comparisons to people like I don't know Kate Bush,
what Joe Well. What I was gonna like, what I
was gonna say is there are some artists who seeing

(08:00):
them live like makes you understand them in a different
way or like activate something about them for you and
for me, the first time I ever saw Florence the
Machine live, that happened, and I think Caroline has a
very similar energy about her where you you listen to
the songs and you love them and you're like, Okay,
well you know, I'm of course I'm enjoying the experience

(08:24):
of this in my headphones, but I doubt it would
be the same live. And I think Caroline did a
really great job of bringing those songs to life in
a way that was as good or somewhat better than
they sound on her records. Yeah, yeah, I one hundred
percent agree, and like sorry, I'm like, this is like,
this is just to make you mad. Florence I have

(08:46):
the notes a lot of the time, I and Caroline can't.

Speaker 2 (08:52):
No.

Speaker 3 (08:52):
I mean, the thing about Florence is that she is
chronically flat and the flat I mean she has seen
off key on the record, but that is like part
of the a pee. I think that's like part of
the thing that people like about Florence. They like this,
like the I don't know, sometimes she hits the note
flat Caroline as clear as a bell, and and I

(09:12):
and with Billions specifically, that was like one of those
moments where I was like, you are such a talented vocalist, and.

Speaker 2 (09:20):
The Ocean of Tears really was that moment for me.

Speaker 3 (09:23):
And in the with Billions, I want to I don't
remember what happened during Oceans you should. I want I
want to hear more about that. But I with with Billions,
it was like I was like, it's almost as if
I saw the song like I didn't. I couldn't actually
figure out the song in its audio form, like I
needed to see how Caroline felt the colors she sees

(09:43):
during this song, the end, the when she when she
made everyone raise their hands and waved just as you said,
Like I had never thought about this kind of like
vocal reprise, kind of cult leader thing that happens in
the bridge of that song. The bridge a perfect, perfect
bridge in that song. It is like I needed to

(10:03):
she It's almost as if she was showing us the
language of her music in that performance and in others.

Speaker 2 (10:10):
Yeah, she really brought both of her albums to life
in a spectacular way and merged them really perfectly together.
Like I loved in the second verse of fly to
You how because that song has features on it and
obviously like neither Grimes nor Dida were there. Instead of

(10:33):
singing the second verse, she like added in one of
the verses from a song off of Pang. I can't
remember what it was now, but it was a great moment,
and I loved hearing so many of the songs from Pang.
One of my favorite moments of the show is during
Caroline Shut Up, when the audience was like singing, and
I tell myself, ka, ruh line shut up. That was

(10:54):
so great.

Speaker 3 (10:55):
I didn't think she was gonna sing that song, and
that's my favorite Caroline song.

Speaker 2 (10:59):
I was.

Speaker 3 (11:00):
I'm so happy it's It's definitely like my number one.
I will return to that song forever forever.

Speaker 2 (11:06):
Also being able to chant to sing back in the city,
I'm just another girl in a sweater with everyone is
so great.

Speaker 3 (11:15):
What else were you up to this weekend?

Speaker 4 (11:17):
Rose?

Speaker 3 (11:17):
I know you and I saw each other at Laurel's
Goodbye BBQ Laurel Charleston, who will be in an upcoming
episode not to spoil.

Speaker 2 (11:25):
Yes, very exciting. Other than that, I kept it pretty
chill over the weekend. I mean you know, it was
raining all day Friday. I started reading a new book.
I'm reading it the Stephen King novel Now, which is
incredibly long. I felt like I read so much on Sunday,
but got through basically just the prologue. And watched Succession

(11:49):
last night obviously at Virgins. As Frand mentioned before, we
did a Succession episode with Hunter Harris on our patren
So go to patreon dot com slash like a Virgin
so you can listen to that. It was very good.
But yeah, I started. I started it because I finally
finished Fingersmith this week, which I mentioned for The Virgins

(12:13):
a couple of months ago that that was going to
be the next book in Rose's Book Corner and then
Ros's Book Club, and then it just sort of it
took me a really long time to read it, but
once I finally got going, I powered through it so
quickly last week and it was incredible. It is like
has edged its way into maybe like my top ten

(12:35):
books of all time. Oh so goodh And then the
night that I finished the day the day that I
finished it, I watched The Handmaiden, which is a film
that is based on Fingersmith.

Speaker 3 (12:50):
One of my favorite queer films of all time.

Speaker 2 (12:52):
And I also started watching the BBC mini series adaptation
of Fingersmith. So in an upcoming episode of the Patreon
we will do Rose's book Corner. We will talk about
I will talk about Fingersmith and Fran You will watch
The Handmaiden so that you can be part of the
conversation and I can give you some some tea on

(13:13):
the differences in the adaptation. I've watched The Handmaiden so
many times I'm wondering, Oh really, yes, I'm wondering.

Speaker 3 (13:19):
I've rewatched and rewatched that movie. I adore it. I
might actually start the BBC series because I've never watched that,
and maybe that'll give me a little color.

Speaker 2 (13:30):
It's good. It's it's i think only watchable on YouTube.
It's not amazing quality, but it's great. Sally Hawkins is
in it, Emelda Staunton is in it. Charles Dance from
Game of Thrones is in it. I want to keep
watching it. It seems to be very faithful to the book,

(13:52):
whereas The Handmaiden is not. But yes, if you want
a better understanding of the story of the novel than
totally watch it. It's a three part mini series. I
think each of the parts is.

Speaker 3 (14:04):
Like an hour and a half, okay, and maybe I'll
watch part one. Okay. So for the virgins who are
maybe a little more averse to picking up a lengthy
historical piece of fiction, what are some things to inspire
the virgins to really get through this book?

Speaker 2 (14:22):
Is there a turning point? Is there something that you
hold out for? So about midway through the novel, there
is an insane twist which you will kind of know
from watching the movie, but it's much more shocking in
the book. So that really did it for me. And
then also the relationship between the two main characters. And

(14:43):
I will say, you know, one of the things I
really like about it is Sarah Waters writes a lot
about identity. My favorite book, Tipping the Velvet, which is
her first novel, is very much about identity, but it's
much more about gender because it's the novel is about
cross dressing, and this one, the identity is much more
about like doppelgangers, which are I think such an interesting

(15:06):
thing to play with in queer fiction because like so
many queer people have experienced, like fucking someone who looks
like them. It's like when you're attracted to people with
the same gender, like that's something that you're going to
come into contact with a lot. And also it's very
the novel's very Dickensian. It's like I said this on
my Instagram, It's like if Charles Dickens a pussy, like

(15:27):
that's what Fingersmith would be. So you know it is.
It is slow at the start, but it really revs
up and it's incredibly twisted and sexy and perverted and sad,
and the end is like it was just like a
race to the ending for me. But I also never

(15:50):
wanted it to end. So I really highly recommend it Diarne.

Speaker 3 (15:56):
I probably won't be reading it, but I will be
helping you on the Patreon. So virgins get into Rose's
book corner. Let's make this happen.

Speaker 2 (16:05):
Yes. Another recommendation I have that I know virgins would
enjoy and is very in line with the things we've
been talking about this episode, specifically, ethel Caine is I
saw this film last week, The Starling Girl, which I
think you would enjoy, Fran, even though it is like
a small and kind of quiet film. It's with Eliza Scolin,

(16:28):
who was Did you watch Sharp Objects?

Speaker 4 (16:32):
Uh? No?

Speaker 2 (16:32):
I didn't.

Speaker 3 (16:33):
It was it was too much Amy Adams, like thinking
and smoking inside a car.

Speaker 2 (16:39):
But that's one of the most amazing things about it.
So Eliza Scollin plays Amy Adams's sister in Sharp Objects
and she also was Beth in the in Greta Growig's
Little Women. And this movie is about this girl who
is part of a you know, like small fundamentalist Christian

(17:00):
community in I want to say, like Mississippi or something,
and she's there is a youth pastor who is young
and extremely hot, and they begin a relationship. He's married,
she's a teenager, and it's about her, you know, like

(17:21):
like her sexual awakening. And it's very Ethel Kane core,
Like I literally was expecting a thoroughfare needle drop at
the end. And I think Ethel even posted the trailer
and was like, this movie was specifically made for me. Okay,
it's really lovely. The performances are amazing, really great tension,

(17:46):
just like a wonderfully made, sad, startling film that doesn't
like try too hard to go look how bad religion
is it just like very and I'm sure this is
something that I mean might be triggering for you as

(18:08):
someone who you know, like grew up with a religious family,
but like also might be interesting because of that. It
like it doesn't I don't think it tries to like
pass judgment on that community. It just tries to like
really to paint a very like realistic portrait of what
that life is like.

Speaker 3 (18:27):
I mean, yeah, I one thing I'm I'm gonna do
is relive my trauma voluntarily, So I will do it
every time. Unlike a lot of queeries, I'm just like
yesarss oh give it to me. Yeah, so I will
one hundred percent watch it. I did a little Google
and it said things people also searched were virgin suicides

(18:49):
and American beauty.

Speaker 2 (18:50):
Would you agree, yes, yes, those are definitely comps.

Speaker 4 (18:55):
You know.

Speaker 2 (18:55):
It's like a coming of age story and like very
pretty cinematography, good music, just like a really great film experience.
I really enjoyed.

Speaker 3 (19:11):
Okay, can't wait for a little recap starling girls girling.

Speaker 2 (19:15):
Also, you just listened to Kylie Minogue's new song on
my first thoughts.

Speaker 3 (19:23):
I didn't know that there was a song attached to
the meme. It's like, actually, kind.

Speaker 2 (19:27):
Of you thought people were just saying for no reason.

Speaker 3 (19:30):
Yes, I also thought I thought it was a reference
to something old. I thought I had heard it before.
I also, unfortunately sorry, thought of Netflix because of put
like that.

Speaker 2 (19:41):
But that's that's to doom, to.

Speaker 3 (19:43):
Doom, right to doom. Anyways, I I thought it was
Actually it kind of slaps. I mean it's I love
summer bops that are like kind of anti intellectual, like
like oh absolutely yeah, Like I love a chorus that
just is a little earworm that means nothing like I
think that's yes pop music at its finest, And so

(20:08):
I did. I only I only listened to it literally
seconds before we hit record, so I haven't been able
to digest. But I mean, what do you do you have?
Like you also do you agree?

Speaker 2 (20:18):
Yeah? I think it's super sexy and fun, something for
the something for the summertime, for the girls. You know,
it's like gay, it's gay, cat nip, it's you know,
I'm not a huge Kylie girly, Like I know the
hits and I like her and that, like I don't know,

(20:39):
maybe it was like the brit Awards performance where she
like comes out of the CD player as iconic, but
I'm not super literate on her discography and I actually
think a Kylie Minogue episode would be amazing to have
someone who's really knowledgeable come in and like teach us
a little bit about her. I wasn't super tuned into
her last album Disco, which it wasn't it, And like,

(21:02):
it's so unfortunate that, like for a pop star who
should have been like at the who should have been
like the figurehead of that disco moment in pop music,
she actually felt very like behind the trend. And so
I'm happy that she came back with this sort of
like sexy like pop electroclash, like sort of like gold frappy,

(21:25):
stupid summertime pop song. I think it's fab I like
that she it's this song feels like it's not trying
as hard, Like it makes more sense. I think when
she released her last album, it had come like so
far after the like kind of disco zance that the
pop girlies were doing, and Kylie's doing something that is

(21:48):
like it's not like disco inspired, it's not disco referential.
It's like tried and true disco, but in that like
sometimes it sounds a little generic, which is kind of
how I was feeling about the new Jesse Ware album
as well.

Speaker 3 (22:03):
That we discussed it's like it's air Oh my god. Wait,
remember how last week I said that jesse Ware, the
New jesse Ware album was like giving Lizzo a little bit.
I do you remember, You're so mad?

Speaker 2 (22:16):
I don't remember, like out, Yeah, I think I ejected
it from my brain because I hated you for it.

Speaker 3 (22:22):
Yeah, I maybe because I listened to the New jesse
Ware and I was like, there's something about it that's
giving this like kind of Lizzo rob It's airing on
Lizzo Robin Thick territory. And I feel so validated because
I was listening to the New York Times podcast that
earlier this week, and the guy I can't remember his name,
he's like really really smart but also deeply polarizing. He

(22:43):
also said it was giving Lizzo and I was like, damn, I'm.

Speaker 2 (22:47):
Smart, interesting, I'm so someone. I saw on Twitter yesterday
that Katie Perry said that she wants Lizzo to join
the American Idol Judges, and like, can they get someone
who can sing?

Speaker 3 (23:02):
Lizo can sing, She's just can't sing live. Lizzo can sing.
Lizzo is an amazing, amazing artist. She just really joy
based and can't hit the notes a lot of the
time during the contract, so she's a bad artist. Okay, Well,
Katy Perry can't really hit the notes either.

Speaker 2 (23:20):
So Katy Perry is an incredible entertainer and literally slayed
Firework at the King's Coronation singing your song that is
about the fourth of July, which is fire Psycha.

Speaker 3 (23:33):
Her inaugural, her inaugural and when I say inaugural, I
mean like presidential inaugural, not not inaugural. Inaugural performance of
Firework was probably the best live performance she's ever given
in her life. So that I can I can admit,
and I also can admit that Katy Perry is an
amazing entertainer. But so is Lisso. Like like, Lisso is

(23:55):
not even close to the level of iconography that like
Katie is at. I totally agree. But since we've pit
them to get against each other, which we have, I
have to say I think Lizzo is more virtuosic, memorable.
I would rather go to a Liso show. Well, I
don't know if that's true.

Speaker 2 (24:14):
Actually, there is not one single there's not one single
Lizzo song that Katie Perry could not like out out
sell well that's because Katie is really good at selling anything,
literally anything. She can sell the Sims, she can sell pop,
purposeful pop, she can sell. God, we were talking about

(24:35):
Katie's SIMS covers on Friday Night Lizzo. I will say,
I like her tiktoks where she eats vegan food.

Speaker 3 (24:43):
That's I hate that tiktoks where she eats vegan food.

Speaker 2 (24:46):
Hey, that's literally her only creative output that I actually,
Oh God, I just I'm so disappointed with how Lisso
has ended up.

Speaker 3 (24:54):
I don't think that she's making good music. I think
she's just chasing pops. And there's nothing wrong with pop
stardom or chasing pop stardom. You just can't empty. Yeah,
you can't forget about the arrt. It feels ten twenty
thousand percent empty, where someone like Katie is actually doing
something that's maybe a little more ownable. Like she she's

(25:16):
a little less. She obviously needs to be successful. She's
always going to chase chase money and chase pop stardom.
But she's giving us like, you know, poop, like the
little poop in the toilet on stage dancing or whatever
like that is undeniably singular and I miss when Lizo
used to be like that, because she did used to
be that girl like Lizzo has always been someone who

(25:37):
is weird, different, not doing it like the other girls
are doing it, And now she is doing it like
the other girls are doing it, and I think that's boring.

Speaker 2 (25:45):
I think all her music is dog shit, except for
that one song that she made with Missy Elliott. Yeah wait, okay.
Something that I almost did this weekend that I actually
think we were talking about on Friday night with Peyton
and Hilton is that I kind of want to get
into play Zelda because everyone's talking about it, and I
almost bought a Nintendo Switch and Zelda this weekend.

Speaker 3 (26:07):
My grandma sent me a two hundred and fifty dollars check.
I don't know the last time that my grandmother mailed
me a track. It has been a while since we spoke.
I don't know if she heard that I was having
money issue, but I the way, I immediately thought about
using that to buy a Nintendo Switch so that I

(26:28):
could play well because.

Speaker 2 (26:29):
That's the exact price of a Nintendo Switch light and
a Zelda game.

Speaker 3 (26:32):
Yes, oh no, I mean, oh yeah. Switch light is
when I need to change your books. That's crazy.

Speaker 4 (26:38):
So the thing?

Speaker 3 (26:39):
Can you plug a switch light into your TV?

Speaker 2 (26:41):
No?

Speaker 3 (26:42):
Okay, so I need that. So I would have to
get the actual switch which is.

Speaker 2 (26:47):
Just which is like one hundred and fifty dollars.

Speaker 3 (26:49):
For back when I had Netflix money, Like girl, that
that that that video game, it would have been. It
would have been my house already, babe. But like I'm
I I honestly, the money is the core issue for me.
But I do feel like I still really want to
buy it, and I also really want to buy the prequel,

(27:09):
The Wind of the Willow and The Sounds of the
Pussy or whatever the yeah, the.

Speaker 4 (27:18):
Wind of the Yeah.

Speaker 2 (27:20):
Anyways, So so I like, I don't know why I
decided that I wanted to play it, But you're not
neither of not a game person. I really am not one. No,
I have to I have to have my own I'm
not a game person, And I tried. I went on

(27:42):
TikTok and was looking up videos of gameplay to see
if it was something I was interested in, and I
was really convinced I was. And then I was watching
these videos, I was like, this looks so fucking boring.

Speaker 3 (27:54):
So I will say from what I know about you,
rose you if you do not must through what is
an extremely And this is just what gamers have told me,
because I've been asking a lot of people about the game,
about whether I should buy, about what I should buy first,
et cetera. If it's hard to learn from what I
understand and from what I know about you, you would
have a very difficult time muscling through like the kind

(28:17):
of first like five to fifteen hours of gameplay, because
five to fifteen, yes, because the first the first well,
the first three hours are something of a tutorial, I believe,
where you're understanding how all of like kind of I
was about to say, luke links, links, like like abilities,
like all the different like you know, tricks and stuff

(28:38):
like that. This is me trying to do gamers speak,
you know, all the little tricks and stuff. But yeah, no,
I honestly don't think I think you'll have a hard
time unless you get to the point where you're like, oh,
now I understand the game, because it is a game
that you kind of you have a bit of an
aha moment you're like, oh now I understand how this works.

(29:01):
But it's pretty difficult to master what it is to
get link going so take that into consideration. Yeah, I
think I think I think it's going to be it's
a no from I think it's a no for me. Dog,
I think that time would be better suited to me
reading books and.

Speaker 2 (29:22):
Working on my novel.

Speaker 4 (29:24):
Yeah. Not.

Speaker 2 (29:26):
And I don't need to like spend three hundred bucks
to realize that I'm not a game person.

Speaker 4 (29:34):
Virgins.

Speaker 3 (29:35):
Not to spoil anything for you, but it is a
really good time to be subscribed to the Patreon right now.
Like if you were to just subscribe for the summer,
if you were too well, we don't recommend that you
should be subscribing one hundred percent all the time, but
if you were to hop in now, it's not too late.
If you were to follow us at like a virgin
for twenty sixty nine right now, you may be privy

(29:57):
to some extra special news and some things coming up.
Please please please engage with us, because look, I.

Speaker 2 (30:05):
Hate to say it, Pride is around the corner, not
that any of us is, like, you know, booking Pride.
I mean I booked one Pride gig, but like the
Pride gigs are not coming through this year because you know,
every company is like homophobic. Now, love that for them.

Speaker 1 (30:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (30:18):
You know who's not homophobic is our guest today. That's
probably because he's gay. Don't need to clock his teeth.
But we have Gay Brigado on the podcast today. He
is a writer, former co worker of mine, one of
the girls, and he is here to talk all about

(30:38):
Disney Channel d COM's Disney Channel Original movies. For those
who aren't up to date on the lingo, so you know,
grab your wand make those little like mouse ears zidas lapita.

Speaker 1 (30:54):
Think.

Speaker 3 (31:18):
I had a list of DCOM summarized to me by
our dear friend Ashley Lukachevsky. And let me tell you,
the log lines for some of these are crazy. I
literally don't know how they exist as like fully realized movies.

Speaker 2 (31:32):
Can you break down for us what the acronym d
COM stands.

Speaker 1 (31:36):
For Disney Channel Original Movie? For those that are uninformed,
that would be me.

Speaker 4 (31:41):
I'm the uninformed one. Guilty Istar.

Speaker 1 (31:43):
Did you not have Halo growing up? No, which I understand.
You know, I think there was a class access issue
with Disney Channel growing up.

Speaker 3 (31:50):
Oh yeah, and you would think I would, because you know,
Disney has Latinas in their pocket.

Speaker 4 (31:56):
Like if there's one thing that a Latin family is.

Speaker 3 (31:59):
Gonna do it's watch dcons, but we were not a
cable household.

Speaker 2 (32:04):
I want to share my first the first memory I
have of watching Disney Channel. So there was one year,
the year that That's So Raven premiered. They premiered it
at midnight on New Year's Day, and there was like
a whole lead up to it, and I watched Disney

(32:24):
Channel all that night waiting for That's So Raven and
then the world changed forever.

Speaker 1 (32:30):
And then they dropped four episodes at night.

Speaker 2 (32:32):
I don't know about that, but it's possible.

Speaker 1 (32:35):
I feel like I feel like one of the episodes
was the party, the birthday party with the snake or
something like that.

Speaker 2 (32:43):
Sure, there was always like that. Any Disney Channel sitcom episode,
it's like, okay, name like a place or an event,
a weird animal, something traumatic that could happen to a teenager.
And then maybe what's the fourth thing?

Speaker 3 (33:00):
Gender swap, some sort of gender swaps, Yeah, sort of like.

Speaker 2 (33:04):
A weird saying like jinkies or.

Speaker 3 (33:06):
Yeah, a technology kind of based like snapho. I mean, yeah,
this I as someone who like grew as as y'all,
y'all grew up with d cooms, Right was the I
like just want to know when you're experiencing them in
real time? Were these like like eventized? What were like
Disney Channel original movies, Like were they gaggy? Like did

(33:30):
they drop? And everyone was like, oh my fucking ud,
Like yeah, what was it? What was the experience of that?

Speaker 1 (33:34):
It was like bigger than like a supreme drop, honestly,
because it was like they would lead up being like
the Ultimate Christmas Gift dropping on December twelfth or whatever,
and you would wait like weeks for it to fally
come out on that f Friday and it would play
it all weekend and then so yeah, it was definitely
I feel like bring back linear, you know. I like
loved like the anticipation for a movie to come out.

(33:56):
I remember I think the Thirteenth Year was coming out,
which is many gay boys young gay awakening because it's
the the Mermaid movie.

Speaker 2 (34:07):
Oh with the Merman, Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 (34:09):
Murman representation.

Speaker 4 (34:10):
What is it called again?

Speaker 1 (34:11):
I heard about this the thirteenth Year.

Speaker 2 (34:13):
The thirteenth Year.

Speaker 1 (34:14):
Yeah, So the concept is that there's this boy, he's
a really good swimmer. Then it turns out it's revealed
to them that his mom is actually a mermaid and
he was like like given to this adopted family, and
in his thirteenth year he starts getting all these mermaid qualities,
like whenever suches water, like he's like his scales come
out and stuff. Oh no that yeah, it's like it's

(34:37):
like the Splash reboot starring Channing Tatum that's allegedly happening.

Speaker 4 (34:41):
It's it's more like that.

Speaker 3 (34:42):
What was the the like fish Call Me by Your Name.

Speaker 2 (34:46):
Luca Luca, which I never watched all the way through.

Speaker 1 (34:49):
I was thinking of HTWOL the Australian series.

Speaker 2 (34:52):
I never watched that.

Speaker 1 (34:54):
Well, I think that's where like the TikTok audio. Oh no, Clay,
yeah it is. No, you're your history, your now, your now,
your mermaid history.

Speaker 2 (35:02):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (35:02):
So the the the dcom boy that I had a
crush on was the boy in Luck of the Irish Oh,
Ryan Merriman, who turned into a Leprica.

Speaker 3 (35:11):
Yeah, what's little I remember hearing about this. He's very
small on the cover of the movie.

Speaker 1 (35:17):
Well also he's small and he's a basketball player.

Speaker 3 (35:20):
That is the one thing that I appreciate about these
these movies and D comms is that like I you
you understand the movie immediately when you look at the
at the picture with the okay, so with the Thirteenth Year,
does he so does he eventually grow a mermaid tale.

Speaker 1 (35:36):
Or No, I don't think he does, cause he's only
half mermaid, okays something like that.

Speaker 3 (35:41):
Something that I loved about the cover of the Thirteenth
Year was that he didn't have one mermaid tale. He
had two fish mermaid legs because he's a man murmaid.

Speaker 2 (35:51):
Oh so he can't have a tail, yeah.

Speaker 3 (35:53):
A tale because that would be too much, but like
the two fish legs look worse. I was like, this
is and also like on the swimming level, like I
don't know how you're gonna get what you need to
get done. But okayluck of the Irish Crush leverricn Man.

Speaker 1 (36:07):
Yeah, well okay back to the question. But the drop.
I remember the Thirteenthyear was coming out and I was like, oh,
like from all the commercials, he's so cute blah blah blah,
like in my closet itself. And we were at my
mom's friend's house on like a Friday, and I told her,
I was like, we have to be home by this movie.
We have we just like we can't miss it, and
of course like we like are there too late? And

(36:29):
then I like I have to just like watch it
here then Mom, so it's like we have to like
now wait another hour and a half for me to
finish this movie here, which I think my mom was
finally because she was still hanging out with her friend,
but like I was in the living room being like
pregay watching this Mermaid Boy swim an experience.

Speaker 2 (36:44):
I think all of us can relate to. Those d
coms had some incredible star power. I think Lindsay Lohan
was in one.

Speaker 1 (36:51):
Get a Clue, Get a Clue, The Spy One Yeah,
with Brenda Song, Branda Song, and Bug Hall who played
Alfalfa in the litchool movie.

Speaker 2 (37:01):
I don't remember him.

Speaker 4 (37:04):
Get a Clue.

Speaker 3 (37:05):
She was just like getting clues right, she was solving mystery.

Speaker 2 (37:08):
It was sort of like the smart kind of well.

Speaker 1 (37:11):
I think her like one of her teachers went missing
and they were like, what happened to her? And I
think they got it. They got a bunch of clues
to figure out.

Speaker 2 (37:21):
So the title really is incredibly descriptive. There was also
Cadet Kelly, The Lesbian Awakening for many.

Speaker 3 (37:30):
Well, a lesbian, you know, military industrial a pro military
propaganda lesbian.

Speaker 4 (37:38):
Cipher.

Speaker 1 (37:38):
Yeah, I do you know that the queer girl. The
sapphics do love the tension between Hillary Duff and content
creator Christy.

Speaker 2 (37:45):
Carl Christi Krals and Ramana. Okay, so she had so
for virgins who don't know Christy Carlson. Romana had a
bit of a revival during the pandemic when she started
uploading these really insane YouTube videos where she was just
like walking in a forest somewhere talking to someone who
is probably like walking backwards holding a camera.

Speaker 3 (38:06):
I have no idea who business.

Speaker 1 (38:08):
She was on ran from even Stevens.

Speaker 2 (38:11):
Yeah, she was the older sister Stevens. She was also
the voice of Kim Possible. And her videos have titles
like I Survived nine to eleven and then like or
like my nine to eleven story.

Speaker 4 (38:23):
Oh but did she survive?

Speaker 2 (38:26):
She was, I believe in New York City on nine
to eleven. But she was, but she wasn't in the tower.

Speaker 4 (38:31):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (38:32):
Well, and then when I was at teen Vogue, I
published an essay from her talking about like why she
like kind of like left Disney Channel and like all
her like struggles and I remember like the intro was
that she had gotten like scammed like thousands of dollars
by like someone who does like crystal work or something,
which I'm like, if you're looking for answers, I guess
like you know you are a mark. But I am

(38:53):
glad that she's now monetizing her YouTube.

Speaker 2 (38:55):
Yeah, she did tell a story about that on on
on her YouTube channel about how she lost all her
Disney Channel money and she was kind of the I
would say that she, Raven and Hillary Duff were the
queens of Disney Channel at that time.

Speaker 1 (39:12):
For that era.

Speaker 3 (39:12):
Definitely, do we think that like she uh has graduated
with the same success as a Hillary Duff or a Raven?
So is she like so is that just like always
like a like assault and like a salty taste in
her mouth or something like? Is that or do you
think that she doesn't care?

Speaker 2 (39:31):
I'm sure she cares.

Speaker 3 (39:32):
Did So what's the plot of Kelly. I've literally heard
this movie talked about so much and I actually don't know.

Speaker 1 (39:38):
So Hillary Duff is like a little like she is
in trouble, right, So.

Speaker 4 (39:43):
The thing is that she's in trouble.

Speaker 2 (39:45):
She's very I mean, she's maybe like super materialistic. She
like gets bad grades.

Speaker 1 (39:49):
I don't know, Yeah, because there's that that video of
heard about her friend. You know what I'm talking about. No,
I'm shet. Yeah, she's like a military materialistics so her
parents send her to like military school where Ren Stevens
whips her into shape.

Speaker 2 (40:11):
Yeah, and a bunch of millennial lesbians were born.

Speaker 3 (40:15):
Yes, Gabe, Dare we ask what your favorite Disney Channel
original was?

Speaker 1 (40:21):
I do? I think it's like so hard because there's
so many legendary Wise Children smart House obviously, but smart
House is scary.

Speaker 2 (40:29):
Is scary, It was scary.

Speaker 4 (40:30):
I've seen the end of it.

Speaker 1 (40:31):
I do think that Xenon is my like FACEE says, yeah,
it's that's a good thing. That's like it's like I
think everyone's favorite, but like I think the only like
the only like Astik would be like my other my
like under the Radar fave is probably the ultimate Christmas gift?

Speaker 2 (40:51):
What's that?

Speaker 1 (40:52):
It's where Brenda Song and her friend the Girl from
Flight twenty nine down discover that Santa Claus has a
tool that could prevent climate change?

Speaker 2 (41:01):
What?

Speaker 4 (41:02):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (41:02):
Have you never seen it? Also, like Brenna's song is
like baby and I think it was like whoever first
big Disney Channel movies. So her and her best friend
they're in southern California and then they fine. Santa Claus
is like workshop and he has this device that can
control weather, and so they steal it and they make
it snow in California and so it like budges up

(41:22):
everything and then an evil weatherman tries to steal it
from these two two Like preteen, it is.

Speaker 2 (41:28):
Kind of coming back to me now a lot. Wow,
that's incredible. I think my favorite d com is Halloween Town,
as basic as that is, or maybe maybe no, it's
it's the original, not Halloween Town too.

Speaker 1 (41:42):
Calibars Revenge and then there are three with Sarah Paxton.

Speaker 2 (41:46):
Yeah, because that that girl got booted past and now
her whole thing is like she's the girl from Halloween
Town and she married.

Speaker 1 (41:55):
Married Calbary Calibar. That's Calibar's Revenge. That is I wonder
what is going on.

Speaker 3 (42:02):
It's actually so like so many different names where its
phrases that can only be known with you know, knowing
Disney Channel original movie.

Speaker 2 (42:10):
Do you think they do role play when they have sex?

Speaker 1 (42:14):
But like from other dcons, So who's Calibar.

Speaker 4 (42:16):
Who's Calibar?

Speaker 1 (42:18):
Okay, this Halloween Town is the grandchildren of w Reynolds
find out that there are families from Halloween Town, a
magical place where Halloween every single.

Speaker 2 (42:29):
Day, which is where I want to live.

Speaker 1 (42:31):
Yeah, and then so they go to Halloween Town. But
then there's this evil plot by someone who's turning the
the people of Halloween Town into like statues or something. Yeah,
something like that. I remember that scene really scared me
as a kid, actually, and his name is Calibar.

Speaker 4 (42:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (42:49):
But then in a second movie, Calibar's Revenge, it's his son,
and then the evil has leaked its way into the
real world. And the only way they realize that they
can versus spells by saying that backwards.

Speaker 2 (43:03):
Which is which would be really hard to do kind
of on the fly.

Speaker 3 (43:07):
Yeah, sure, but you know it's how spells work. Everybody
knows that.

Speaker 1 (43:11):
So anyways, so these two Disney Channel movie stars ended
up reconnecting a year later and noo, they're married.

Speaker 3 (43:19):
Wait, so was Halloween Town among like the the kind
of like decoms that everybody loved I think the Golden Era.
To me, it sounds like it's just one of the
ones that stick out, and so in my mind, I
was like, it must be like top ten or something
like they're tough five like, but there's so many like I.

Speaker 2 (43:34):
Think Halloween Town probably has the longevity because it's holiday based,
it's seasonal, you can watch it every year at the
same time, and there's the nostalgia of it all. I
don't know, what do you think are the crown jewels
of dcoms.

Speaker 1 (43:51):
I think definitely Xenoen, Halloween Town, Connect, Kelly I'm Cheetah Girl.

Speaker 3 (44:00):
Oh I fell asleep to that movie as a trauma response.

Speaker 1 (44:06):
Adrian Bilin would not be happy to hear that, neither
with Keeye Williams. For younger generation, they love Lemonade Mouth
starring Haley Kyoko, Bridgite Medler.

Speaker 2 (44:15):
Kaylee Hyoko started out as the Disney Channel.

Speaker 1 (44:18):
Curly Hailey Kyoko.

Speaker 2 (44:19):
Hailey Kyoko. I thought you said, Kaylee, Kaylee, you were
a coconut Coca nut a Coca pa. Hailey Keyoko started
as a Disney Channel Curly Yeah.

Speaker 1 (44:31):
Lesbian and Jesus yes, and she has a very lesbian haircut. Great, yeah,
what other I mean? There's obviously even Stevens. A lot
of like the the like the big Disney Channel shows
also had their own like original movies like im Possible
had a d com and.

Speaker 2 (44:48):
Some of them had actual theatrical films, like the Lizzie
McGuire movie.

Speaker 1 (44:52):
Yeah, I think she was the only one that got
that though.

Speaker 2 (44:54):
Ye, well, because Lucy McGuire was the moment Lucy maguire
kind of took over culture for a second for sure,
for sure. Harry Christmas Lizzy McGuire, as Aaron Carter once said,
rest in peace.

Speaker 1 (45:05):
Did you grow watching Lizzy McGuire at all?

Speaker 3 (45:07):
You know, Lizzie McGuire was available on Saturdays in my
household what they called it? What was I think growing
up it was called one Saturday Morning or whatever, where
like we got the cable shows for like one one morning.
So yeah, I guess I did kind of grow up
with with Hillary Duff as someone like in the culture,
Lizzy McGuire was someone that I wanted to be. But
I didn't watch the show regularly, so I only knew

(45:29):
so much about it, Like when Miranda has an eating
disorder for one episode and then it just goes away
and it's fine.

Speaker 1 (45:34):
Oh yeah, because she faints from almost like dancing too much.

Speaker 4 (45:38):
Yeah, why ask.

Speaker 1 (45:39):
Because one of my like favorite sort of like seeing
with Latino culture growing up was they go on a
Mexican game show McGuire because Miranda's cousin is like, oh,
we can win all this money. I know Spanish, We're good,
And then they go on and he gets eliminated. No,
he doesn't get limited. He gets like like trapcarted or
something and has to be put in a cage. So

(46:00):
it's as three of them left to their own devices,
not knowing. Not knowing Spanish was honestly a core memory
for me to grow.

Speaker 3 (46:11):
The kind of plot place, the plot twist and developments
of these movies feels absolutely insane to watch, like as
an adult. I again have really not watched.

Speaker 2 (46:22):
That many Disney Channel original.

Speaker 3 (46:24):
Movies, but I did watch the Lizzie McGuire movie last
year with Ash, our friend Ash, and do all of
the movies like completely like like fabricate and flip in
plot like immediately, and it's like the stupidest thing you've
ever heard, Like it makes no actual like physical sense

(46:44):
like what they're doing.

Speaker 1 (46:45):
I mean, I would argue that Smart House actually reflects
today's I think Smart House was incredible time. Yeah yeah, yeah,
I feel like for my first, like my first full
time writing job. Somewhere I wrote about how like Disney
Channel or some movie like like predicted the future of technology,
which smart house Xenon living on a space station. Elon

(47:07):
Musk wants what Xenon has say.

Speaker 3 (47:10):
That Xenon's hair is like how the girlies are doing
it now, Like it's full like early aughtscore like blonde tips.

Speaker 1 (47:18):
Oh yeah, and Protozoa.

Speaker 4 (47:20):
Yeah that's what I meant.

Speaker 1 (47:21):
Yeah, Protozoa also favorite tip. One of my little tidbits
about the Xenon movies I love is that in the
original movie, her best friend has played with they Raven Simonie.
In the second movie they replaced her with shady A Simmons,
as if we're not going to recognize that this is
a different black girl. And in the third movie they
bring back Raven Simonie. Kay yeahs And they just no

(47:43):
questions asked.

Speaker 3 (47:44):
Wait, I wasn't Raven already? He was she already huge
by the first.

Speaker 2 (47:48):
Xenon movie or no, I think the first Zenon movie
is before.

Speaker 4 (47:52):
That's so Raven it was, and it's so crazy to.

Speaker 3 (47:56):
Think about replacing someone like Raven. Yeah, that's embarrassing for them.

Speaker 1 (48:01):
But no, but Shady Simon's iconic because she is in
the color of friendship.

Speaker 4 (48:05):
Wait, I've heard about the color of friendship. I haven't.
Oh my god.

Speaker 3 (48:10):
Okay, Gabe, that's when I think, Okay, the most talk
about Prescian and inter racial.

Speaker 4 (48:16):
Uh you know.

Speaker 1 (48:17):
I think the premise is a white girl from South
Africa comes and stays with a black family in the States,
and then she realizes there's like the color.

Speaker 2 (48:28):
Well she's like, have you guys heard of apartheid?

Speaker 3 (48:31):
Well, from what I understand, this is what ashe told me,
is that like the white family is like kind of bringing.

Speaker 4 (48:37):
This exchange student.

Speaker 3 (48:38):
I think it's thinking it's going to be a black
student from South Africa, and then she comes and then
she's like, I'm white.

Speaker 2 (48:43):
And then her.

Speaker 3 (48:44):
Dad is like, she's like a bad person, right, Like
the white girl is actually a bad person here. Her
dad is like an apartheid cop or something.

Speaker 1 (48:51):
I don't remember the details, cause that sounds right right, I'm.

Speaker 4 (48:55):
Sure that was it. It was probably that her dad
was an apartheid cop.

Speaker 2 (48:58):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (48:58):
Also, for the listeners that know Shady Simons work strange,
He's up like Colsey High very familiar.

Speaker 2 (49:04):
No, no way, that's that's a.

Speaker 1 (49:05):
Whole other that was. It was on Discovery Kids, and
it was.

Speaker 4 (49:09):
It was on Discovery.

Speaker 1 (49:11):
It was low key. I guess it was kind of
was a rip off of Buffy because it was a
boarding school on top of a black hole and so strange.

Speaker 2 (49:17):
That is a Buffy rip off. Well there's other there's
another Buffy Disney Channel connection because Miranda from Lizzy McGuire
Lalaine was in season seven of Buffy as one of
the potential Slayers who spoiler alert hunk herself.

Speaker 1 (49:31):
Yes, and then the first comes back and it's like
playing with them.

Speaker 2 (49:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (49:35):
Just the the universe is just so is so complicated.

Speaker 2 (49:40):
It is. So I watched Disney Channel, like, you know,

(50:05):
cause I'm like a firm millennial and so I watched
I guess what would be like the Golden Age, the
early years of Disney Channel. So I was watching when
That's So Raven was on Lindsay maguire, that kind of stuff,
and even then I was maybe like a smidge old
for it. So I missed the whole second generation where

(50:26):
Arianna was on it.

Speaker 1 (50:29):
Who oh no, she was on the Nickelodeon jo for me,
trying to correct.

Speaker 4 (50:36):
Who whoa whoa game Space y'all should have seen.

Speaker 2 (50:40):
It was like, who oh, I forgot what show is that?

Speaker 1 (50:43):
She was on Victorious and then got her own spin
off with Jeanett mccurty, Right, Jeanet mccurty of I'm Glad
my mother died Sammy Cap Wait, so we were were
the nick was Nickelodeon and Disney always at odds. I
don't know they were at odds, but it was there
was almost like never any crossed over, like it was
unheard of to be able to dip into both ponds.

(51:05):
It was like DC and Marvel dead ass well actually is.

Speaker 3 (51:09):
No, See there's been crossover with DC at Marble. I
guess with like X Men stuff.

Speaker 2 (51:15):
No, x Men, yeah, x Men's Marvel. It was twentieth
century Fox. But no, it's Marvel. Oh I thought it was.

Speaker 3 (51:21):
Indeed, I thought it was momentarily in the DC universe.

Speaker 1 (51:24):
No, we're here to educate, you.

Speaker 3 (51:27):
Know, Well, I don't know anything about Marvel D.

Speaker 1 (51:29):
I think the second gen was like Hannah Montana right, okay, hand.

Speaker 2 (51:33):
Because Hannah Montana was my I have younger sisters who
were twenty and they used to watch Hannah Montana.

Speaker 1 (51:40):
Like Hannah Montana where there's a Bailey place with Selena gomet.

Speaker 2 (51:42):
Okay, yeah, I missed on. Are we team Selena here? Oh?

Speaker 1 (51:45):
Absolutely me Latina Rena. I'm and so. I also have
a younger sister, and I remember just every morning to
get like for her to like get ready, my mom
would have to play the Hannah Montana like see so
like I like was like a teenager boy, like like
pretending to like not enjoy hearing the best of both

(52:07):
worlds every single morning.

Speaker 2 (52:08):
God, let me say, let me say that see you
again went triple platinum in my home?

Speaker 1 (52:13):
Oh yeah, bops, bops.

Speaker 4 (52:15):
Bob's my best friend.

Speaker 2 (52:16):
Leslie said, Oh, she's just being Miley.

Speaker 1 (52:18):
Well, and you are, like Dolly pardon stands as everyone is,
especially the two of you. And I mean she is
on hand Montana.

Speaker 2 (52:25):
Yes, she's famously Miley's godmother.

Speaker 3 (52:27):
Well. I think also that that moment in Dolly's life
was like a kind of reinvigoration of her career because
I don't remember where where I read this, but before Miley,
rather before being on like Miley's show and being her godmother.

Speaker 2 (52:42):
Uh.

Speaker 3 (52:43):
The majority of Dolly's demographic was like over the age
of fifty, and when she got on Hannah Montana and
like had this kind of like new pivot in her life.
The other her demographic became majority under fifty.

Speaker 1 (52:58):
We love I love us Churchy Queen.

Speaker 2 (53:00):
You know Billy Ray Cyrus would suck.

Speaker 1 (53:04):
No, but a dad wasn't the mailely place I would.

Speaker 2 (53:06):
I think, I don't know what he looks like.

Speaker 1 (53:09):
On the record.

Speaker 4 (53:10):
Are we going to talk about the most fuckable.

Speaker 2 (53:12):
Dad the delves of Disney Channel?

Speaker 1 (53:15):
Like rewinding now, I'm like, oh, the dads are hot.

Speaker 2 (53:18):
The dad from Lisay McGuire is kind of hot in
a nerdy way. There was there were these kids that
I used to babysit for and their mom looked exactly
like the mom from Lisa McGuire, and it's always tripped me.
The fuck that's a really specific look. Yeah, and I
once had a sex droom about her as a teenager,

(53:40):
which is that I should have known then that I
was bisexual ahead of your time.

Speaker 1 (53:43):
Well, I'm speaking of MILFs. Raven Simoney and Alex Vanderpoolt
are back on Disney Channel as Mom's on Raven's Home. Yes,
but do you know that Raven did you see that
TikTok that was making the rounds where Raven said that
she specifically asked for Raven not to be a Lesbie
being in the sequel show, like she didn't want her

(54:05):
and Chelsea to get together. So I thought she I
thought Raven was kind of trolling people.

Speaker 2 (54:10):
Really, I don't know.

Speaker 4 (54:11):
I don't think so that sounds like Raven to me.

Speaker 2 (54:13):
Yeah, because she was. She was like Raven the person
and Raven the character are different people whoa I think
she has some.

Speaker 4 (54:21):
Internal as homophobias.

Speaker 1 (54:23):
Well, and speaking of Raven, it was a big moment
for me when as Marie from America's Next Top Model
British Invasion cycle, she was dating Raven Semonier. Oh you
guys don't remember.

Speaker 4 (54:34):
No, I don't know this. I've never seen the British.

Speaker 1 (54:37):
So the queer woman who was actually a front runner
of her cycle. But then she didn't want to use
butt pads during the booty Tooch's video challenge. I think
she low he got eliminated because of that, and then
it was it broke.

Speaker 2 (54:51):
I support that.

Speaker 3 (54:52):
Wait, everyone had to use butt pads. They were required
to use butt pads.

Speaker 1 (54:55):
When Tyro was teaching about botototoaching, So there was Smith
and then.

Speaker 3 (55:00):
Teaching was the second wave of Tyra's second wave feminism.

Speaker 1 (55:03):
Yeah yeah, yeah, I'm she made them like pad their
but I mean maybe it.

Speaker 2 (55:10):
Was it was it was the pro BBL. Tyra Banks
invented BL.

Speaker 1 (55:22):
I'm but on Raven's home. So they aren't gay together,
but they live in Chicago.

Speaker 2 (55:30):
Could be Also, it's wild.

Speaker 1 (55:32):
Because in the in the new series, Raven has two
twin children and only one of them has visions. It's
a recessive it's.

Speaker 3 (55:40):
A recessive gam If they lived in Chicago, they definitely
lived in Andersonville.

Speaker 4 (55:45):
Let's say that.

Speaker 1 (55:46):
I think they are off the red line, so they
probably are near Andersonville.

Speaker 4 (55:49):
Okay, great, great.

Speaker 1 (55:51):
What's that restaurant called with the with the Swedish meetball.

Speaker 4 (55:54):
And I wish I knew? Oh my god.

Speaker 1 (55:58):
It's wild because ra Chelsea's husband, the father of her child,
is in jail because he embezzled her money that she
got off of creating a mop that was like a lightsaber.
That is the most Disney Channel ass plot, except for
the prison part. That is, usually they don't they don't

(56:20):
go there, Oh really they don't. That seems like something
that they would employ all the time, because like, I
think something that's in a lot of like Disney IP
especially like d coms is that the parent is missing
for whatever reason, and so there, I don't know, I
figure they would just always put the Well, Raven's mom
does disappear like halfway through the original series, remember.

Speaker 2 (56:39):
No, I didn't watch all the way through.

Speaker 1 (56:41):
And everyone was like, what happened to her?

Speaker 4 (56:43):
So she was in jail?

Speaker 1 (56:44):
Well no, I think she like went to go do
a grad program in London or same thing like that.
Did you ever want to eat the Chill Girl was
the child Girl that was Raven's father's restaurant, Yeah, totally. Yeah,
I want to see like a menu at the Chill
Girl Child Girl pop up?

Speaker 4 (56:59):
Yeah, Chill Wings.

Speaker 2 (57:02):
Do things they serve Nicki minaj Wings, But the Childreners.

Speaker 3 (57:10):
Is there, like I kind of want to, like we've
been like jumping all around. Is there like one that
you could deep dive on, like or one that you
just like would talk about forever?

Speaker 2 (57:20):
Is it? Is it zeno On?

Speaker 4 (57:21):
Is it one of the first ones you mentioned or another.

Speaker 1 (57:23):
One in terms of movies, probably Xenon. I'm I just
I love it because, like the idea of literally her
being grounded. It's the smartest thing I ever heard. She
gets she gets in trouble on a space station because
she goes for a space walk, and then so her
parents decide to ground her, Okay, send her to live

(57:46):
with her her on Earth.

Speaker 4 (57:48):
Oh that is funny. Wow, that's clever.

Speaker 1 (57:50):
And then she gets bullied for being from Spain.

Speaker 3 (57:56):
So did everyone have a crush on Protozoa because I
feel like that. I don't know, I don't remember how
it came up or why. But I posted something on
Instagram and I think I had blonde hair something. Everyone
was like, you look like Protozoa and I was like, well,
I don't know about that. But also everyone was saying
that that he was like a huge crush.

Speaker 1 (58:15):
He was like the hairy styles.

Speaker 4 (58:19):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (58:19):
Well, because so the whole and the whole thing is
that Protozoa is going to be the first pop star
to perform in space on a on a space station.
That xs from.

Speaker 2 (58:29):
When she was gonna go to space, which which is yeah.

Speaker 1 (58:34):
Looking back on it was that maybe a like Lance
bas like wink wink.

Speaker 4 (58:38):
Yeah, maybe the tips for sure, I mean.

Speaker 1 (58:41):
Yeah, And then also I sing that song as a
fucking bob zoom totally my heart go boom boom.

Speaker 2 (58:48):
There was there's some good music that came out of
you know, the Disney Channel universe.

Speaker 1 (58:53):
Oh underrated when actually thinking of do you remember pixel Perfect?

Speaker 2 (58:57):
What's pixel perfect?

Speaker 1 (58:58):
So pixel Perfect is underrated? With the song are Bobs?
So the premise is Ricky omen a fill the future fame.
He decides to so his like best friend is in
this band. It's kind of a flop because they like
love like moody ballads. The essentially like the boy genius
of the Disney Channel and he's like, okay, how do
we like spice it up? So he creates a hologram

(59:21):
using like all these images of different girls to be
like this pop star and she debuts at like the
School Talent Show and everyone's oh I.

Speaker 2 (59:32):
Do remember this?

Speaker 1 (59:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (59:34):
Speaking of music though, there always used to be those
moments where they had, like when they were re releasing
like the line King on VHS, they would have all
the Disney Channel stars sing a cover of Circle of
Life or something.

Speaker 1 (59:47):
The Disney Channel Circle of Stars?

Speaker 4 (59:49):
Is that what they.

Speaker 1 (59:52):
So that was like Disney Channel's like music arm. So
they would get all these like Buzzy Disney Channel people
to come in sing songs. So for I was gonna say,
for Lord, I wish it was they had they had
Circle and then it would just be Raven bars like.

Speaker 2 (01:00:12):
And it would play like during the commercials between episodes
of That's Raven. And they also use them for other
things like I was reminded recently of the weird Post
nine to eleven p s as that they had them
make where it was like the Disney Channel stars talking
about terrorism and like basically like promoting like American nationalism.

(01:00:34):
Was there songs involved? No, Okay, it was just them
talk like having serious conversations about terrorism.

Speaker 1 (01:00:42):
Because then they had like Ta Tamara for One of.

Speaker 2 (01:00:43):
Those speaking of was Twitches Disney or Nickelodeon Channel, Disney Channel. Okay,
Twitches is kind of iconic.

Speaker 1 (01:00:50):
Iconic and also what's her face? One of the their
their like advisors was Jocelyn from Shit's Creek.

Speaker 3 (01:00:58):
Oh. I watched a lot of Twitches and some of
Twitch's what's twitches to call it?

Speaker 4 (01:01:04):
Yeah, twitches to t oh, which is just do it wow?

Speaker 2 (01:01:09):
Their mine went there.

Speaker 3 (01:01:11):
I watched a lot of them during a very long
manicure where my manicure has just had it on.

Speaker 2 (01:01:17):
That actually a Pamberham No, it wasn't.

Speaker 4 (01:01:19):
Pamper Down's Unford was here in New York.

Speaker 1 (01:01:22):
It was based off.

Speaker 2 (01:01:24):
It was based on a book. Read the book?

Speaker 1 (01:01:26):
How are the books not good?

Speaker 3 (01:01:49):
I'm trying to imagine like what Disney's like musical arm
like would look like, and I it just sounds like
hollow and sad, like I'm imagining like Miley like shackle
to a radiator.

Speaker 2 (01:01:58):
Yeah, well, because a lot of the girls they like
tried to put like if they were popular on Disney Channel,
they would try to give them a music career, like
that's what happened with Hillary Duff.

Speaker 3 (01:02:08):
I also watched the opening sequence of Camp Rock and
now I know, wow, I've never I've obviously never seen either,
but like that was was that Demi's first movie?

Speaker 1 (01:02:20):
That was like Demie's intro, So it's preparing for this.
I actually was watching clips. Are you are you all
familiar with the Disney Channel games?

Speaker 2 (01:02:25):
No, it was like it's not like the Hunger Games.

Speaker 1 (01:02:27):
It was yeah, it was like that meets Survivor meets
Disney Channels. So they put them on team. It was
like the Olympics. And they had all these Disney Channel
stars and then so Sabrina Bryant from Cheetah Girls, she
has all these like old vlogs that you can like
watch and it's like really the only bts like footage
of the games, and Demi's like Demi's like in the bathroom,

(01:02:49):
like getting ready with them, and seas like here's Demi,
like like new to the channel, and it's like did
you hear that? They're like showing camp Rock to press
and it's like Sabrina's clearly a little bit older and
like understands but presses and like all the other girls
like what is going on anyways? And then so on
the digital games they also meet, although Jonahs brothers Bee
on different teams.

Speaker 2 (01:03:10):
Smart Yeah, yeah, so Jonahs brothers, that whole era, Jonah's brothers,
Hannah Montana, Wizards of Waverley Place, Sweet Life of Zach
and Cody. It's like just when I kind of moved
on to more adult entertainment, not not in the poor anyway,
it sounded like it, but didn't They all like crossovers

(01:03:31):
were a big thing between the shows.

Speaker 1 (01:03:33):
Yeah, so there's the that's so Sweet Life of Hannah Montana,
No and so it is that's a raven Sweet Life
Hannah Montana crossover, and it's essentially it was trying them
trying to redirect like attention to like new shows. So
that was when Hannah Montana's first season I think, and
so you know, that's a Raven was already really established.
Sweet Life was like getting big already. And then so

(01:03:54):
they were trying to get people to watch Hannah Montana
and yeah there was and so they did, and so
they and then there was one with Wizards Way Place,
sweet Life on Deck and Hannah Montana again as.

Speaker 2 (01:04:05):
Well, what's sweet Life on Deck?

Speaker 3 (01:04:07):
Is it that on on a ship?

Speaker 1 (01:04:08):
Yes? So after that the Sweet Life of Zack and
Cody concluded. They then booted as Tidal and the mom are.

Speaker 4 (01:04:23):
Their careers, their careers and livelihood.

Speaker 1 (01:04:25):
I'm doing one of those tiktoks.

Speaker 4 (01:04:31):
They really died.

Speaker 2 (01:04:32):
This morning, Like this is how I tell you.

Speaker 1 (01:04:35):
They relocate them onto a cruise ship and that was
w Ryan's first big gig.

Speaker 2 (01:04:42):
She's the girlfriend the meme who's like, oh, the one
that's like that Swinser hair, and then she's looking at
the guy from My Lotus.

Speaker 1 (01:04:49):
Yeah, well me and Rose know him as the guy
with the Magician. Yes, yes, we do.

Speaker 2 (01:04:53):
Oh he was a magician. He was on The Magicians.
Also a main character on Magicians or no, he was
a side character. He was kind of kind of a
running joke that he was lame.

Speaker 1 (01:05:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:05:04):
Also, High School Musical was a dcon.

Speaker 1 (01:05:07):
Originally and and did a theatrical release.

Speaker 2 (01:05:09):
Yeah, and gave us Vanessa Hudgens my queen.

Speaker 1 (01:05:13):
Well they you know, Diddy Channel loves a racially ambiguous
Filpino woman.

Speaker 4 (01:05:17):
Disney Channel loves a racially ambiguous anything.

Speaker 1 (01:05:21):
Hudgens.

Speaker 3 (01:05:22):
Yeah, and gender ambiguo ambiguous.

Speaker 4 (01:05:28):
Honestly, I mean, right.

Speaker 2 (01:05:31):
Do you think Olivia Rio is gender ambiguous? Is that
her next era?

Speaker 4 (01:05:36):
Honestly? I mean no, I think she's learned from.

Speaker 1 (01:05:38):
That's what Driver Lessons is actually about her changing gender
mark change to an ex. I'm like, as much as
I like idolized all those all them, I'm like, it
definitely seems like it was like a cursed Chalice.

Speaker 3 (01:05:54):
You know, definitely are any of the DCM stars like
good people now? Hillary Duff seems stable and happy.

Speaker 1 (01:06:01):
Love Younger, Oh.

Speaker 2 (01:06:03):
My god, I watched an episode of Younger last night
because my best friend's watching it with his boyfriend, and
I went over to his apartment and we watched an
episode episode. The episode really go to the Hampton's book
fair and Liza kisses Charles and Josh sees it and
he was about to ask her to marry him.

Speaker 1 (01:06:17):
Yeah, name CHARLINI Young Younger basically is like a Disney
Channel show for adults. Yeah, it's Lizzie McGuire ended up
working publishing.

Speaker 2 (01:06:27):
Yes, yeah, yeah, we need to do an episode of
On Younger. No, Younger was incredibly important to me, I've heard.

Speaker 1 (01:06:34):
Also, I block out the fact that Matthew Morrison's on
it and his whole bit is that he has a
huge car and.

Speaker 2 (01:06:40):
Focks a goat. Yeah no he doesn't. He sucks a goat,
a literal goat. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:06:45):
On Younger, Why.

Speaker 2 (01:06:47):
Because mister Shue jump scare. That's wild. Well you've never
like you've never fucked a farm animal?

Speaker 1 (01:06:55):
Yeah, sure, no, totally normal thing, back to like well adjusted,
didn't you? Bridget Medler, who I think was a little
bit past our time, But she was in Lemonade now
and then.

Speaker 2 (01:07:05):
She was in Beyonce's Lemonade.

Speaker 1 (01:07:08):
She plays the bad She is now just finished. I
think a grad program, My Master program. I t oh,
good for her, and not the tire Banks version, you know,
like an.

Speaker 4 (01:07:18):
Actual real.

Speaker 3 (01:07:20):
Anybody else like Disney Stars nowadays.

Speaker 1 (01:07:23):
Well I did just do you see that clip of
Cody Sprouse.

Speaker 2 (01:07:26):
Codyrose on call her Daddy's smoke and a capri like
like truly very weird person who it needs to go?

Speaker 3 (01:07:40):
I'm a Riverdale stand so unfortunately I love Cole Sprouse.

Speaker 1 (01:07:44):
I love Brenda song very important to me. She now
has a baby with Miccolay Culkin.

Speaker 4 (01:07:50):
Oh wait she does.

Speaker 1 (01:07:52):
They've been together for a while and now I didn't
know that.

Speaker 3 (01:07:54):
Wow power couple.

Speaker 4 (01:07:56):
Yeah what I mean Brenda?

Speaker 3 (01:07:57):
Justice for Brenda. I feel like she disappeared and she
never I mean she's doing stuff now, correct.

Speaker 2 (01:08:02):
You profiled her, filed her?

Speaker 1 (01:08:04):
Yeah, and then it was tied to Dolphe that Hulu
show that was with her and Cat Dennings Shane Mitchell.

Speaker 2 (01:08:14):
But I like that one girl from it. Yeah, I
follow her on TikTok.

Speaker 1 (01:08:19):
Did you see when he and Miranda Cosgrove got dinner together?

Speaker 2 (01:08:22):
No channel?

Speaker 1 (01:08:29):
But yeah, I think I think also Brenda is excited
to be a mom, and this seems like on social
and stuff. But great.

Speaker 2 (01:08:35):
If you could star in any Disney Channel show or
original movie, which would it be mm.

Speaker 1 (01:08:40):
Hmm, like as a child or like the Hot Dolf
as the Dolf. Okay, I would love to be back
on like let's see, I'm trying to think which ones
were shot on location?

Speaker 3 (01:08:54):
Now live somewhere in airless lightless like vacuu.

Speaker 2 (01:08:59):
Zineon you get to shoot in space.

Speaker 1 (01:09:02):
It actually would be fun to be on Raven. I think, yeah,
like to have a child that has visions, you know,
and to be a small business owner. I would love that.

Speaker 4 (01:09:10):
What would your what would your role be?

Speaker 1 (01:09:12):
I would be I. I would open up, I would
be the hot deal if I think hopefully and or
maybe I don't even know. I mean, I feel like
we're still in the age group of being cast as
sibling the brother on That's on Hannah Montana. I was
like thirty shout out, oh.

Speaker 3 (01:09:28):
Yeah, age, I'm sibling bookable.

Speaker 1 (01:09:33):
Honestly, maybe I would be on the Sweet Life so
then I can like go do like hotel reviews at
like fancy hotels that aren't the Tipton Oh I love that.
And also Ashley Ashley Simpson Ashley Tisdall's cover of kiss
the girl from the Little Mermaid DVD release slaps No,
actually tis little so talented, she deserves fabulous, fabulous.

Speaker 2 (01:09:52):
We need to put some respect on Ashley Tisdall's name.
She needs she needs.

Speaker 1 (01:09:55):
To come back.

Speaker 2 (01:10:07):
Slide into our DMS Like a Virgin four twenty sixty
nine and let us know what's your favorite Disney Channel
show or d com And next week we will be
back with an episode that, honestly, this entire podcast has
been building towards, we are going to be talking about
Madonna mother herself finally with like the gay Madonna expert

(01:10:29):
Lewis Hotel Finally, so you do not want to miss that.

Speaker 3 (01:10:32):
Hello, Yeah, we will finally figure out how to get
sued by Madonna or our friends. Yes.

Speaker 2 (01:10:40):
And in the meantime, you can get more content at
our Patreon, Patreon dot com, slash Like a Virgin, including
our succession episode with Hunter Harris this week by our
merch at Like a Virgin four twenty sixty nine dot com.
Follow us on Instagram at Like a Virgin four twenty
sixteen nine. You can also follow me anywhere you want

(01:11:00):
online at Rose Damnu and.

Speaker 3 (01:11:02):
You can find me at France Wishko anywhere.

Speaker 2 (01:11:04):
You like Like a Virgin is an iHeartRadio production. Our
producer is Phoebe Unter, with support from Lindsay Hoffmann and
Nikki Utur until next week. Zita Slipidis me