June 26, 2025 • 30 mins
Doubt doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you care deeply.
It’s not a flaw, it’s a sign that something inside of you wants to matter.
In this episode, we unpack:
- What self-doubt actually does to your mindset and motivation
- How to turn fear of failure into fuel
- The truth about impostor syndrome and why it’s more common than you think
- How to stop self-sabotaging when the fear of “not being enough” hits hard
Key truth:
Doubt is loud because lies have to yell.
Truth? Truth speaks steadily. Truth stands even when you shake.
We’re talking psychological roots, inner narratives, and the difference between staying stuck and showing up anyway. This isn’t just about pushing through—it’s about transforming doubt into drive.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
So contrary to what people believe, doubt isn't about insecurity.
It's actually about burning desire, and that desires what drives
the fear of it not happening, the fear of losing it,
the fear of us feeling the reality is of the
mountain of doubt is one that we all face. But
the words that we speak into a change everything. That's
(00:21):
the game changer. This is made for this mountain with
Joshurosa or turning pain into purpose. So there's something called
the pig Milion effect. And I speak about this in
other episodes, and there's one that I die really deep
into this, But the pig milion effect is the self
fulfilling prophecy is the lens by which we view things.
So the belief that I'm capable of doing something, or
the belief that I'm not capable of doing something, or
(00:42):
the belief that I'm going to fail, it incites and
creates this fear in us because this is how we
view things. We think that because we are not supposed
to be in places, or that because we're not good enough,
or because of our lifestyle or our life history, all
these things. We look at those things and we make
those as the lens through which we see life. So
I believe that I'm not capable because of what's happened
(01:04):
to me. So what I do is that I'll begin
to self sabotage. I'll begin to ruin things for myself
because again in my mind, my subconscious or even to
the conscious, I don't think I deserve, I don't think
I belong, I don't think I should begin. Because you
believe it, you will fail, like we do everything possible
to make sure it fails. And again I always go
(01:25):
back to relationships in these days because this is something
that people really struggle with. But I this is for
literally everything. Podcasts. We'll take that one first, right example,
because we're listening a lot of the statistics. Again I've
shared this before, but most people don't go past episode three. Now,
what is that about. It's not necessarily about podcasts. I'm
not talking about like the creative aspect of it. I'm
(01:46):
talking about the fact that people will limit what's gonna
happen later based on the short results that they got now,
so they stop doing We stop doing things in the
long run because the short term didn't yield the results
we thought we wanted. We stop ourselves from being the
per than we could possibly be, from living the life
we could live because we didn't see immediate results. There's
a quote that I often say that we are expecting
(02:08):
to see the fruits of the tree when we just
planted it. You can't expect to see fruits from that
thing that you just planted tomorrow. It's going to take
some time. And the bigger and firmer the tree, the
roots that are there, that takes a little bit longer
to be created. Now, again, granted, are there people who
do things and I don't know or blow up? Sure?
And I also want to give a double edged short
to that though, because there are people who do things
(02:29):
and we don't see the work that goes behind it.
We only see the moment of the success. We don't
see the long hours, the editing, the creating and all
these things that the effort that goes behind creating that. So,
what a lot of people do is in their self
fulfilling prophecy. If they are not successful in the instant,
then that's it. They give up. They begin to dictate
everything else based off of that. Now, again going back
to the Pygmalion effect, a lot of people are bound
(02:53):
by this reality. But here's the other side of it.
The Pygmanina effect has the same concept. If you believe
boldly in yourself, believe so boldly that something is gonna happen,
then you actually make it happen. The self fulfilling prophecy
board works both ways. Is it easier to be negative?
Absolutely so, much easier to destroy than it is to build,
because destroying just takes literally bulldozer build or take a
bulldozer through it. Building takes effort and time and growth.
(03:17):
But again, pagmillion effect really comes to the fact of
how you speak to you. Doubt has to leave, that
mountain of doubt has to go, and you are able
to identify that you are capable and instead of self sabotizing,
now you self enforce right that you become again your
biggest advocate, You become your your biggest supporter. You do
the things that are necessary for you to grow and help.
(03:39):
We have to begin to question where these things come from, Like, again,
it is it tangible. Is it something that, yes, this
is a real problem in my life, it's it's a
real roadblock and I have to grow through it. Or
is it just something that I've created a mountain out
of a molehill? Is this something that I took dirt
that was easy to overcome? And maybe this huge mountain
in my life where I'm scared of changing. Self fulfilling
(04:01):
prophecy is the reality that you will create whatever you think.
So if you think that this thing is going to fail,
you will guarantee that it fails. You will put yourself
in places to make sure that you fail. You will
put yourself in situations or you'll begin to dictate things
based on your past and previous experiences and not in
the one you're in now. You won't allow the moment
to be fully fruitful and purposeful and what it could be.
(04:23):
You'll dictate it by the things that you've lived in.
So you think that's all you deserve. You give yourself
a limiting belief, but a limit to how far this
thing can happen, and you guarantee failure because you think
that that's all you deserve. I need you right now
before are you getting deeper into this podcast? I need
you to dispel that lie that you are not capable.
(04:43):
I need you to dispel the lie that this thing
isn't for you, that you are not meant to be
in that room. You are meant to be in every
room you walked into, and every room that didn't let
you in that you were still meant to be in there.
Even though they didn't let you there. You created a
room for yourself. The lie is that you can't, and
the lie will always be that you're not able because
of something. But you have all capacity, capability, talent, and
(05:04):
gifting to do the things that you know you naturally can.
The question isn't can you? The question is do you
believe you will? And a lot of us are gonna
suffer with that right that. That pygmali effect is hard.
It's not an easy thing to overcome. But again I
always equate this to people who have been successful, and
again people that would bring on this podcast are people
who've had stories and their mountains and things that they've
come through and things that they dealt with. But a
(05:26):
lot of people who are very, very successful in this
world have this world view, like the way they see
their life is not so much a restricting factor as
to what I can't do, but a reality is to
what I can do despite anything else. And there's a
person I always talk about this Portfelio, who's actually a
Dominican who's diplomat from the Dominican Republic. I actually think
(05:49):
you're Santiago. He's Santiago. If I'm not mistaken. It might've
been in that region, but I just take the credit
because my family's from that or too. But this is
who Double seven is actually based on. So Portfhelio is
the actual character that James Bond, which also why Dominicans
get like this terrible rap. We get labeled in it
because it's portfolio of her. Unfortunately, was a you know,
(06:14):
he very very adventurous man and got a lot of dates.
Will say it that way. I also in when I
was reading or watching about him, I learned that he
really love Hukah too, So there's something really cultural there.
This is from like in nineteen thirties or a little
bit like during the World War two era. But I
tell this story often because this is a person who
grew up in literally nothing and created a life that
(06:38):
he believed he deserved and put himself in rooms for
people to think that. And it's not even that he
had the best background around them, because yes, he made
good friends with certain specific people that I'm not ever
gonna mention because you have both sides of political it's
not political to also, I won't you to fittioning those things.
But he made relationships with people who believed what he
believed because he believed this. So he walked into these
(07:01):
rooms and people saw what he saw because he knew
that he belonged there, and it took him to a
point where he came to the highest levels of government
in the Dominican Republic. And now just that we base
characters on this person because they believe that they belong
in a place, the self fulfilling prophecy in the positive way,
the Pygmalion effect fully that they believe that they were capable,
(07:23):
so they did. We'll get a little deeper after this break.
So coming back to that truth, and I need you
to ask yourself this question, what do you believe about you? Like,
do I believe that I belonged to I believe that
I'm capable or is there something that I've made again
a mountain in my life that makes me doubt my capability,
that makes me doubt the places that I'm in and
(07:44):
makes me believe that I don't belong in these things.
We talk about this often and we'll talk about a
little bit later, but of an apostosism, or that I
believe even though I'm in certain things that I don't belong.
I need you to doubt those things, right, because doubt
is loud. Right, I need to adoubt the doubt, because
doubt is loud, because the lies need to yell when
you when you have truth, you have peace. Truth doesn't
(08:05):
yell because again, think about an argument, the person who
typically is correct is not the person that's yelling at
the top of their lungs. The typically the person that's
the comments the typically the person that's able to receive
that because they know the truth. They are grounded in truth.
But a lot of people when they yell, when they
get loud, they think that that's going to conquer the truth.
It's not. When you're able to identify that you're seeing
(08:27):
that this doubt, this this this fear in your mind
is so loud, it's because it has to be. It's
because it's not capable of controlling things in you. And
when you are peaceful, because you know the truth, you
stay firm in what you are. Panic sets in and
that's an emotion that's stronger than hachic the A lot
of us respond to our panic, and I equate this
(08:49):
often with dreams, like think about it, when you are dreaming,
you know that this dream is not real, right, Like yes,
in the moment of a nightmare, when you're still in
the nightmare, it's it's fear. You wake up afraid because
they're cortos levels are raised, or stress hormones all the
way up here. You have all these things that are
happening in your body. But these are emotions that are
responding to something that's not real, that is not existent.
That it's something that it's just a figment of the
(09:11):
imagination or something that I've overrun in me, that I've
created something out of that, but it's not something that's
tangibly there. I need you to realize that that's life.
Like that is the thing that we struggle with. Often
we create problems in the now that aren't even in tomorrow.
We make them into something because we're so fixated and
trying to mitigate that doubt to try to say, try
(09:33):
to fix it and correct it and put it where
it belongs, or even then hiding from it because I've
become so afraid that I don't actually move at the
end of the day. Doubt is what's supposed to keep
you alive, but ironically it's a thing that keeps you dead.
Like for a lot of us, we have given into
doubt so much that it's a natural response, right. It's
a part of our brain. Our brain chemistry is meant
(09:55):
to make you question things. It's meant to make you
sit here and see if something is actually safe. But
unfortunately we let that go rampant. Again. I equate things
to a lot of things. I think it's I'm a
visual person, so I like to say things that people
could remember. And when when I talk about fear and doubt,
I always say the story like Courg's a cowardly Dog.
Have you ever seen that show? If you haven't, it's
like there's really old show and courtson Network that courage
(10:17):
would be afraid of everything. He would see like a
power clothes in the shadow on a chair and he
would think that's like a demon to monster. And the
whole story is that this is a perspective from a dog.
Because again, smaller dogs, they have smaller brains. So there
are dula magata and then the fatamus is that's part
of the brain that controls emotion for them, and dulam
got is it's suppressed. So they are either really angry,
(10:37):
which is why Chahwuahas are like the most vicious dogs
in the world, or very anxious and they're always shaking
and secared. So the show itself from from a different
perspective shows that reality of who that particular dog is.
And that response is, now, why am I talking about
courage and small brains? Because that's how our brains work.
Not obviously not to that extent, because you are able
to control and rewire and change that. But our brains,
(11:02):
when we give it power to run rampant, it's like courage,
it's scared, It sees all these things and it begins
to think the worst possible thing again because your brain
is trying to keep you alive, Like it's not doing
it because a malicious standpoint, like it's not because it
wants to hurt you. It's because it wants to protect
you and wants to safeguard you. But unfortunately a lot
of us don't address that. We allow our brains to
(11:23):
run rampant. So the things that are popping in our
head are things that now have authority over the actions
we take in our life. So I don't move on,
I don't change, I don't heal, I don't grow, I
don't doubt a doubt, I don't change anything because I'm
going with the flow of what my brain is afraid of.
You've created this, this doubt, this power in something that, yes,
it was meant to keep you alive, but it wasn't
(11:44):
meant to drive the car. It wasn't meant to make
every huge decision for you. It wasn't meant to change things.
It's limiting everything you too. We need to learn to
address that. We need to know that when our brain
is being out in doubt, that we need to be
firm in our words and in our heart. What we
(12:06):
say to us is amazingly and again, Scripture for me
is always big Proverbs eighteen right, Life and death is
on the tongue. What you say to you, you will believe,
what you act in, what you change, what you move
towards is everything starts with what you say, because your
brain is gonna believe the words that you're saying. We
need to start touting our doubt. We need to start
(12:27):
growing to this point where this defense mechanism that our
brain has isn't the driving factor of everything we do.
It isn't the catalyst of every action we take or
every inaction we don't take. And I think that for
a lot of us, when it comes to doubt, we
stop ourselves from being this version of us because almost perfect,
(12:48):
this version of us that is ideal towards what we
desire and hope and want, and we now put ourselves
in something that is again, even when you're in the
rooms that you feel like it don't belong, imposter syndrome.
And to be completely honest, that's something I struggled with
often and I mentioned it in this podcast in different episodes,
(13:09):
and it's probably gonna come up again because I'll be
real with you with something that I'm practicing, I'm practicing
what I'm preaching. I'm not just saying it to say
I do this all the time. And it's gotten to
a point where, again not even to be arrogant, but
I know that I bring something that has value and
worth and it's not because of me, not because serve
me or serve myself, but because people have received and
(13:29):
have gotten, and that's helped me, honestly be able to
really just hone in on that. But I need you
to understand that you were meant to be there. You
are meant to succeed. You're meant to be in every
room that you walk in. And imposter syndrome tells us
that even though we are capable, that we should not
do because we don't belong. And even when you are successful, again,
impostism makes you believe that this is something that is
(13:52):
not for you. Life and death are on the tongue.
So if I give into this, if I say, if
I give the doubt the power, I look the other
way and say, well, I'm not gonna do these things
because even though I've had some level of success, it
doesn't mean I'm going to be successful. It doesn't mean
that I should do this all in. I should dive
in head first to this thing, because again impostism, it's
(14:12):
a season. It's a moment. But I need you to think, Okay, cool,
it's a season, is a moment. Why aren't you enjoying it?
If you are in a season of success, a season
of fruit, of a season of growth, why aren't you
enjoying the process Because you're too focused on the failure.
You're too focused on what might happen tomorrow, that you
don't live in what's happening right now. You've given so
much authority to the lie of failure that you haven't
(14:32):
lived in the joy of success. And for a lot
of us, that's our downfall. We give in to this
thought that we are not capable, so we will never do.
We give doubt so much authority that you are now
living in fear and not faith. You have created a
mountain of something that's telling you that you are not
who you are meant to be because you think that
(14:53):
you're an impostor. The definition I'm gonna preed you the
exact definition of imposticism is a psychological phenomena where individuals
despite evidence of their competence and accomplishments. That's a big one.
Despite the evidence, there is evidence and fruit of the
things that you've done, that the work that you've given,
the effort that you've put in, there's evidence of this.
(15:13):
If you are doing what you need to do, you
belong there. You belong in those rooms. And honestly, even
if you haven't been doing it yet, even if there's
hope and intent, and but again, you've had doubt in
front of you. So you've stopped yourself from doing those things.
You still belong You still should be in these places,
not because anyone else says you can or can't, but
(15:34):
because you deserve it, because you know that you are
capable of it. It's not that if you know you're capable,
is you doing the thing. So experience persistent feelings of
self doubt and inadequacy, often fearing that they will be
exposed as a fraud. It's characterized by doubting one's abilities
and attributing success to luck. External factors are other people.
(15:57):
I remember what's praying once and again. I know other
people that listen aren't faith based, and that's okay. Again,
there's philosophy and meat behind these things, whether you you
believe it or not. But I'm rose praying once. And
what I do I speak. I travel around as a speaker,
and I speak a lot of conferences and all these things.
And in my prayer I was a God, why is
it that I know so many people who are so
(16:18):
successful and you've never allowed them, or they've never helped
me to be in these places. And in my prayer
I heard in my heart God say, because if I
had allowed them, you would have given them the glory.
You would have given them the thanks and the gratitude
for what they did and not for what I did
in you, not for what I allowed you to do,
and not for what I put in you to make
You would have made them the foundation. And I need
(16:40):
you to understand that there's a deep message here, whether
you receive that portion or not. A lot of times
we base our success of other people again impost syndrome.
We basely think that the things that we've done is
based on them. I need you to know that, Yes,
maybe some people may open doors for you, or may
have put you in positions to do something else, but
if you were authentically you and put your self for
(17:01):
and did what you needed to do, yes they might
have opened the door, but you did the work to
stay in the room. You walk through it, and it's
they didn't open the door. That's even better. I need
you to know how much better it is that people
who could have helped you didn't help you, Because now
the authority and the glory and the power isn't to them,
It's to the one that's given it to you. It's
not what they have done for you. But where have
(17:21):
you put yourself in. There is not a single person
right now that can say, oh, you are where you
are because of me, And I think that is except God,
of course, but I think that is just the most
beautiful thing to ever think of. Like, there are people
who have reached out to me and helped me out
and put me in places. Absolutely, but that was a
byproduct of the work that I've already done. And after
(17:42):
that there's nothing else that anyone can take. I need
you to understand that, whether people help you or not,
whether they've opened doors for you or or put you
in places, that everything that you do from here on
out is not about them. It's always going to be
about the ability in you. And if you think that
you're not capable of then you are right, right Henry Ford,
(18:03):
once again, if you think you can or you can't,
you're right. Whatever that thought is in you, that's what's
gonna be because again, we will limit yourself to the
things that you think you're capable of doing. You are
gonna stay in something because you think that you're not
capable of getting out of it. You belong in every
room you walk in, and who you are is based
(18:24):
on who you want to be, not on who the
things you should be. I think a lot of a
struggle with that. We struggle and get so deep here.
We don't have that much time on this episode, so
I won't get too deep in this premise. But a
lot of these things are tied into wounds that we've
seen through our lives. Like a lot of the reason
that we are thinking we think we're not capable is
because we're too many folds. But we're gonna stay twofold
(18:46):
tier one because our parents have told us that we're
not these things, Like they've created these parental wounds in
us that say you're not capable of certain things, or
they've never spoken to you in that manner, or because
of the image that we've seen in our family, like
the way that we see our family be the worst
possible version of them, and we've created that to be
a limiting factor. I know, again this is like a
(19:09):
sensitive subject, but I know, like often for a lot
of people, we see things like abuse, or we see
things like alcohol or drugs or poverty, and we've made
that a center focus of the things that we do next.
But I think some of the greatest stories that everyone
is capable of living, and everyone's capable of having is
those stories of success from nothing, and I think there's
so much power in knowing that. I always make this joke,
(19:31):
and it's a joke honestly, but I always say, oh,
I wish I had worked in McDonald's because I can't
wait for my story in a couple of years to
have that as a part of it. I did work KFC,
so we might build that one in there. And not
that there's anything wrong with McDonald's or working those kinds
of jobs, but it is a catalyst as to where
I started and where I'm gonna be or where I'm at.
(19:52):
I firmly believe that those people who have those that
those lives have those stories, have two choices. Either have
the great story ever told, or make it an excuse
us to why this mountain was too big for them
to conquer when we doubt. Doubt. It allows us to
realize that even imposter syndrome is about and these things
will never leave until you make it your job to
(20:15):
make it leave. We'll talk about the rest of this happen.
So again, this reality of what you say to you matters,
like we only overcome ourselves by speaking to ourselves. Again,
think about it like, who do you listen to the most?
I hope that I'm to become a part of this
we listen to this podcast a little more. But it's
not just that, it's like not the outside voices can
(20:37):
be very powerful, but the most powerful voice is the
inside voice. It's not the voice of people, of the crowds,
of the ones outside, which again, for a lot of us,
we've created this relationship where those voices control the voice inside.
But the strongest voice you will ever hear is the
voice in your mind. Because that voice is the voice
that is consistent. It's the one that at night when
(20:57):
you're going to sleep, is the last one you hear
when you wake up in the morning, the first when
you hear. It's the one that's growing. So what would
happen if how you spoke to yourself was from a
positive perspective and not from the negative you think of
you like. It's from your capability and not your limits.
It's from the thing that you can do and not
from the things that you've have been afraid to move into.
What if the way you spoke to you change every day?
(21:19):
Because our biggest critic is bus you become your own
biggest enemy, because what happens is that when you speak
against you, you are limiting you, you're hating you, You're
telling you that this is normal. So your brain again
goes back to that default setting to protect you, and
it's going to create this barrier around everything else. What
(21:40):
if the way you spoke to you changed life and
death is on the tongue, what's on your mind, is
on your heart, is in your life. Whatever you think
you will feel and what you feel you will live.
Every aspect of your life will flow from that proponent
when you begin to look at things. And again, this
is not like some silly empowerment thing. I know, we
get that mixed up so often because again there's a
(22:02):
lot of people in these like movements of empowerment and
riches and all these things. I get that there is
that that reality. But this is just at the simplest,
simplest simplest of course, it's just about you, loving you
enough to do what you need to do for you,
loving you enough to believe in you, loving you enough
to create something that is good for you. Despite the
(22:22):
things that you've been in a lot of people are
going to continue to circle the rat race of the
thing that's not good for them because they speak to
them poorly, like they speak to themselves in a way
that that is just detrimental. And there is there is
some use for that. But again that's like really deep
in there. Let's first explain it, but let's first work
(22:43):
on growing yourself. But there is some use in there.
And and this is something that not everyone should do,
and I'm not advocating for it, but there is something
called negative reinforcement. So what happens is often and I
do I do often say this with relationships, sometimes you
need the negative enforcement for you to finally leave. But
even in changing, sometimes a negative reinforcement makes you change.
(23:05):
What happens is that for some people we're able to say, hey,
I suck at this and I need to change, I
need to be better, I need to grow, and we
create that in a healthy way, because that could go
down a very bad rabbit hole. We can go down
this hill where we're keep speaking to us negatively and
now it's not about reinforcement. Now it's just degragating. You're
just destroying you because you're sitting here speaking to you
(23:26):
in the worst way possible. So there is I've just
had to add a little caveat in there that there
is that possibility of it being useful, but that's not
for everybody. What everyone can do, however, is speak to
themselves in a positive way. Right when you start painting
things in doubting the doubt and start questioning those things,
then that thing loses power over you because it's easy
(23:47):
for us to fall into this hole of just pat
because again, it doesn't require anything difficult, it doesn't require
much of a change. When we learn to speak to
ourselves in this positive way, we learn to actually say, hey,
this is this is who I am, and this is
what I deserve. And I'm not a critic of me.
(24:07):
I'm my biggest cheerleader, I'm an advocate, I'm a fan.
You begin to know that you depend on you, and
I need you to understand that, Yes, it's good to
love people and have friends and have those relations healthy.
You need it. You need to be able to have
people around you and be able to vent into open
But it's a problem when you depend on people for everything,
(24:29):
like for your emotional stability, for your self respect, for
your self love. When you depend on people to validate
and to grow that that becomes an issue because again,
then this is not about you and who you are.
It's about who people pretend you are, or people who
have made you out to be. We grow that in
us by allowing ourselves to be authentic, by allowing ourselves
(24:49):
to know who we are and what we deserve, and
then speaking into that and depending on us. And at
this point you then depend on you for everything, for
your growth, for your life, for you, for your validation,
for every aspect that you've given other people power over.
I want just to give you that challenge. And I
know this is like a tough thing to do, but
(25:10):
I this week, if you're if you're you're listening to
the podcast consistently, definitely gonna be mentioning something like this
in the next episode a little I guess, a little
foreshadow or spoiler. I don't know how we word that one,
but we're gonna talk about healing and breakups and uh letting,
letdowns and being let go in the next one. But
this is a perfect catalyst for that. There's a perfect
(25:31):
catalyst for for this healing component, because a lot of
people don't heal because their hearts are stuck in that
they're stuck in this this state of limerens where they're
they're remembering and they're holding on to what was quote
unquote beautiful, what they imagined in those situations, so they're
never able to move or to heal, or to grow
or to get past that. And the next episode really
(25:52):
dive into that reality. But we need to understand that
at the basis of all this, the only way that
we get to those points is if we're able to
speak to us in ourselves in a positive way, Like
if we're able to say, hey, but this is who
you really are, Like the doubt is saying this, the
imposter synder mis say this. The mountain of your dought
is so big. But the truth is that you're not
(26:14):
those things. You are this. Before we get to those
deeper steps, we need to be able to establish that.
So a little challenge, I guess between these two weeks,
well within this week, before our next episode, I want
you this week to first start every morning with something
positive about you, Like it could be the smallest thing,
(26:36):
like I like that I woke up. I like that
that I beat my alarm. I like that I'm getting
out of bed right now. I like that I brush
my teeth for thirty seconds longer whatever that might be,
or find just something to hold on to that's positive
in gold to bed when that same concept. The reason
why is because we build routines and habits of our
(26:57):
own brain and their brain. Is when he's like, whoa wait,
I'm speaking to myself positively, I'm growing in something. And
this becomes a lot easier to do the more we
do it. Obviously, it becomes second nature, it becomes natural. Again.
I quit this to the things that you do before
you go to bed, right, Like, if I go to
sleep listening to a worship song, I'll wake up in
the morning singing a worship song. Why because my brain
(27:18):
that was the last thing it did. So what's happening
is in your sleep, in your rem sleep, your deep sleep,
your brain is going to speak to itself from a
positive perspective. It's going to sit there and it's going
to just remember the last couple of phrases that it
was said to that it believed. And when you wake
up the next day, if you keep the cycle, what
you're doing is now you're creating and enforcing a belief
system and a thought pattern that allows you to do
(27:40):
those things. We've seen this often with like those affirmation tapes.
People will listen to affirmations. There is there scientifically, there
is scientific data that backs up the power and proof
of affirmations. And again, I know we've made things spiritual
and all these it's not spiritual, it's actually scientific. It's
backed in science that there is something positive that happens
(28:00):
in you, that there's a rewiring of your brain that
happens when you actually do these affirmations. So the same
concept we're applying here this you're waking up, you're going
to bed, well, wake up in the morning and speaking
these affirmations, and throughout the day they just kind of
flow into it. And when you go to bed, as
you go to sleep, these things will keep repeating and
keep generating, keep coming back up in your brain. And
what's gonna happen is that we're going to try to
(28:22):
change your brain chemistry. That you can change this, that
you can change the way your brain works and flows
simply by how you speak to it. Because life and
death is on the tongue. Everything that you say, you
will believe what your brain things, your heart will feel,
your life will do, those will be the things that
will flow out of that and it will change that perspective.
(28:42):
So our challenge for this week, and I think that's
a good way to just end this episode today is
challenging you to do that, to sit here and look
at you and give yourself this, this push, this affirmation
as to who you are, this truth as to who
you are, this belief as to who you are, this
growth that you are good, and just live in that
(29:02):
reality and know that the doubts are lies because they
have to be loud, the doubts, the lies of that
have to yell, they have to be extra and the
truth is peaceful. So I hope that there's some goodness
in this episode for you and dealing without and the
words that you speak to yourself and knowing that you
(29:22):
are made for this very same mountain of doubt and
that you will conquer it and that there will be
something beautiful that comes from it because you knew and
you were able to stand up to it, that you
belong in those rooms and that if they didn't invite
you in, you make ways to get in yourself. So
thank you so much for being a part of this episode.
And again, the next series of the episodes, the one
(29:44):
before this one, this one, and the next two are
probably some of my favorite episodes that I've ever written.
I'm not just saying it again just so you come back.
I hope you come back. But this specific group I
think is so empowered, so powerful for a lot of people.
So I'm really excited about it because I've put a
lot of love into it and it just seems really
really good. So thank you again for listening to Thank
(30:07):
you yet for being a part of this podcast. And
I'll hear you or see you, or you'll see me
or you'll hear me one of those things in the
next episode. Take care
So contrary to what people believe, doubt isn't about insecurity.
It's actually about burning desire, and that desires what drives
the fear of it not happening, the fear of losing it,
the fear of us feeling the reality is of the
mountain of doubt is one that we all face. But
the words that we speak into a change everything. That's
(00:21):
the game changer. This is made for this mountain with
Joshurosa or turning pain into purpose. So there's something called
the pig Milion effect. And I speak about this in
other episodes, and there's one that I die really deep
into this, But the pig milion effect is the self
fulfilling prophecy is the lens by which we view things.
So the belief that I'm capable of doing something, or
the belief that I'm not capable of doing something, or
(00:42):
the belief that I'm going to fail, it incites and
creates this fear in us because this is how we
view things. We think that because we are not supposed
to be in places, or that because we're not good enough,
or because of our lifestyle or our life history, all
these things. We look at those things and we make
those as the lens through which we see life. So
I believe that I'm not capable because of what's happened
(01:04):
to me. So what I do is that I'll begin
to self sabotage. I'll begin to ruin things for myself
because again in my mind, my subconscious or even to
the conscious, I don't think I deserve, I don't think
I belong, I don't think I should begin. Because you
believe it, you will fail, like we do everything possible
to make sure it fails. And again I always go
(01:25):
back to relationships in these days because this is something
that people really struggle with. But I this is for
literally everything. Podcasts. We'll take that one first, right example,
because we're listening a lot of the statistics. Again I've
shared this before, but most people don't go past episode three. Now,
what is that about. It's not necessarily about podcasts. I'm
not talking about like the creative aspect of it. I'm
(01:46):
talking about the fact that people will limit what's gonna
happen later based on the short results that they got now,
so they stop doing We stop doing things in the
long run because the short term didn't yield the results
we thought we wanted. We stop ourselves from being the
per than we could possibly be, from living the life
we could live because we didn't see immediate results. There's
a quote that I often say that we are expecting
(02:08):
to see the fruits of the tree when we just
planted it. You can't expect to see fruits from that
thing that you just planted tomorrow. It's going to take
some time. And the bigger and firmer the tree, the
roots that are there, that takes a little bit longer
to be created. Now, again, granted, are there people who
do things and I don't know or blow up? Sure?
And I also want to give a double edged short
to that though, because there are people who do things
(02:29):
and we don't see the work that goes behind it.
We only see the moment of the success. We don't
see the long hours, the editing, the creating and all
these things that the effort that goes behind creating that. So,
what a lot of people do is in their self
fulfilling prophecy. If they are not successful in the instant,
then that's it. They give up. They begin to dictate
everything else based off of that. Now, again going back
to the Pygmalion effect, a lot of people are bound
(02:53):
by this reality. But here's the other side of it.
The Pygmanina effect has the same concept. If you believe
boldly in yourself, believe so boldly that something is gonna happen,
then you actually make it happen. The self fulfilling prophecy
board works both ways. Is it easier to be negative?
Absolutely so, much easier to destroy than it is to build,
because destroying just takes literally bulldozer build or take a
bulldozer through it. Building takes effort and time and growth.
(03:17):
But again, pagmillion effect really comes to the fact of
how you speak to you. Doubt has to leave, that
mountain of doubt has to go, and you are able
to identify that you are capable and instead of self sabotizing,
now you self enforce right that you become again your
biggest advocate, You become your your biggest supporter. You do
the things that are necessary for you to grow and help.
(03:39):
We have to begin to question where these things come from, Like, again,
it is it tangible. Is it something that, yes, this
is a real problem in my life, it's it's a
real roadblock and I have to grow through it. Or
is it just something that I've created a mountain out
of a molehill? Is this something that I took dirt
that was easy to overcome? And maybe this huge mountain
in my life where I'm scared of changing. Self fulfilling
(04:01):
prophecy is the reality that you will create whatever you think.
So if you think that this thing is going to fail,
you will guarantee that it fails. You will put yourself
in places to make sure that you fail. You will
put yourself in situations or you'll begin to dictate things
based on your past and previous experiences and not in
the one you're in now. You won't allow the moment
to be fully fruitful and purposeful and what it could be.
(04:23):
You'll dictate it by the things that you've lived in.
So you think that's all you deserve. You give yourself
a limiting belief, but a limit to how far this
thing can happen, and you guarantee failure because you think
that that's all you deserve. I need you right now
before are you getting deeper into this podcast? I need
you to dispel that lie that you are not capable.
(04:43):
I need you to dispel the lie that this thing
isn't for you, that you are not meant to be
in that room. You are meant to be in every
room you walked into, and every room that didn't let
you in that you were still meant to be in there.
Even though they didn't let you there. You created a
room for yourself. The lie is that you can't, and
the lie will always be that you're not able because
of something. But you have all capacity, capability, talent, and
(05:04):
gifting to do the things that you know you naturally can.
The question isn't can you? The question is do you
believe you will? And a lot of us are gonna
suffer with that right that. That pygmali effect is hard.
It's not an easy thing to overcome. But again I
always equate this to people who have been successful, and
again people that would bring on this podcast are people
who've had stories and their mountains and things that they've
come through and things that they dealt with. But a
(05:26):
lot of people who are very, very successful in this
world have this world view, like the way they see
their life is not so much a restricting factor as
to what I can't do, but a reality is to
what I can do despite anything else. And there's a
person I always talk about this Portfelio, who's actually a
Dominican who's diplomat from the Dominican Republic. I actually think
(05:49):
you're Santiago. He's Santiago. If I'm not mistaken. It might've
been in that region, but I just take the credit
because my family's from that or too. But this is
who Double seven is actually based on. So Portfhelio is
the actual character that James Bond, which also why Dominicans
get like this terrible rap. We get labeled in it
because it's portfolio of her. Unfortunately, was a you know,
(06:14):
he very very adventurous man and got a lot of dates.
Will say it that way. I also in when I
was reading or watching about him, I learned that he
really love Hukah too, So there's something really cultural there.
This is from like in nineteen thirties or a little
bit like during the World War two era. But I
tell this story often because this is a person who
grew up in literally nothing and created a life that
(06:38):
he believed he deserved and put himself in rooms for
people to think that. And it's not even that he
had the best background around them, because yes, he made
good friends with certain specific people that I'm not ever
gonna mention because you have both sides of political it's
not political to also, I won't you to fittioning those things.
But he made relationships with people who believed what he
believed because he believed this. So he walked into these
(07:01):
rooms and people saw what he saw because he knew
that he belonged there, and it took him to a
point where he came to the highest levels of government
in the Dominican Republic. And now just that we base
characters on this person because they believe that they belong
in a place, the self fulfilling prophecy in the positive way,
the Pygmalion effect fully that they believe that they were capable,
(07:23):
so they did. We'll get a little deeper after this break.
So coming back to that truth, and I need you
to ask yourself this question, what do you believe about you? Like,
do I believe that I belonged to I believe that
I'm capable or is there something that I've made again
a mountain in my life that makes me doubt my capability,
that makes me doubt the places that I'm in and
(07:44):
makes me believe that I don't belong in these things.
We talk about this often and we'll talk about a
little bit later, but of an apostosism, or that I
believe even though I'm in certain things that I don't belong.
I need you to doubt those things, right, because doubt
is loud. Right, I need to adoubt the doubt, because
doubt is loud, because the lies need to yell when
you when you have truth, you have peace. Truth doesn't
(08:05):
yell because again, think about an argument, the person who
typically is correct is not the person that's yelling at
the top of their lungs. The typically the person that's
the comments the typically the person that's able to receive
that because they know the truth. They are grounded in truth.
But a lot of people when they yell, when they
get loud, they think that that's going to conquer the truth.
It's not. When you're able to identify that you're seeing
(08:27):
that this doubt, this this this fear in your mind
is so loud, it's because it has to be. It's
because it's not capable of controlling things in you. And
when you are peaceful, because you know the truth, you
stay firm in what you are. Panic sets in and
that's an emotion that's stronger than hachic the A lot
of us respond to our panic, and I equate this
(08:49):
often with dreams, like think about it, when you are dreaming,
you know that this dream is not real, right, Like yes,
in the moment of a nightmare, when you're still in
the nightmare, it's it's fear. You wake up afraid because
they're cortos levels are raised, or stress hormones all the
way up here. You have all these things that are
happening in your body. But these are emotions that are
responding to something that's not real, that is not existent.
That it's something that it's just a figment of the
(09:11):
imagination or something that I've overrun in me, that I've
created something out of that, but it's not something that's
tangibly there. I need you to realize that that's life.
Like that is the thing that we struggle with. Often
we create problems in the now that aren't even in tomorrow.
We make them into something because we're so fixated and
trying to mitigate that doubt to try to say, try
(09:33):
to fix it and correct it and put it where
it belongs, or even then hiding from it because I've
become so afraid that I don't actually move at the
end of the day. Doubt is what's supposed to keep
you alive, but ironically it's a thing that keeps you dead.
Like for a lot of us, we have given into
doubt so much that it's a natural response, right. It's
a part of our brain. Our brain chemistry is meant
(09:55):
to make you question things. It's meant to make you
sit here and see if something is actually safe. But
unfortunately we let that go rampant. Again. I equate things
to a lot of things. I think it's I'm a
visual person, so I like to say things that people
could remember. And when when I talk about fear and doubt,
I always say the story like Courg's a cowardly Dog.
Have you ever seen that show? If you haven't, it's
like there's really old show and courtson Network that courage
(10:17):
would be afraid of everything. He would see like a
power clothes in the shadow on a chair and he
would think that's like a demon to monster. And the
whole story is that this is a perspective from a dog.
Because again, smaller dogs, they have smaller brains. So there
are dula magata and then the fatamus is that's part
of the brain that controls emotion for them, and dulam
got is it's suppressed. So they are either really angry,
(10:37):
which is why Chahwuahas are like the most vicious dogs
in the world, or very anxious and they're always shaking
and secared. So the show itself from from a different
perspective shows that reality of who that particular dog is.
And that response is, now, why am I talking about
courage and small brains? Because that's how our brains work.
Not obviously not to that extent, because you are able
to control and rewire and change that. But our brains,
(11:02):
when we give it power to run rampant, it's like courage,
it's scared, It sees all these things and it begins
to think the worst possible thing again because your brain
is trying to keep you alive, Like it's not doing
it because a malicious standpoint, like it's not because it
wants to hurt you. It's because it wants to protect
you and wants to safeguard you. But unfortunately a lot
of us don't address that. We allow our brains to
(11:23):
run rampant. So the things that are popping in our
head are things that now have authority over the actions
we take in our life. So I don't move on,
I don't change, I don't heal, I don't grow, I
don't doubt a doubt, I don't change anything because I'm
going with the flow of what my brain is afraid of.
You've created this, this doubt, this power in something that, yes,
it was meant to keep you alive, but it wasn't
(11:44):
meant to drive the car. It wasn't meant to make
every huge decision for you. It wasn't meant to change things.
It's limiting everything you too. We need to learn to
address that. We need to know that when our brain
is being out in doubt, that we need to be
firm in our words and in our heart. What we
(12:06):
say to us is amazingly and again, Scripture for me
is always big Proverbs eighteen right, Life and death is
on the tongue. What you say to you, you will believe,
what you act in, what you change, what you move
towards is everything starts with what you say, because your
brain is gonna believe the words that you're saying. We
need to start touting our doubt. We need to start
(12:27):
growing to this point where this defense mechanism that our
brain has isn't the driving factor of everything we do.
It isn't the catalyst of every action we take or
every inaction we don't take. And I think that for
a lot of us, when it comes to doubt, we
stop ourselves from being this version of us because almost perfect,
(12:48):
this version of us that is ideal towards what we
desire and hope and want, and we now put ourselves
in something that is again, even when you're in the
rooms that you feel like it don't belong, imposter syndrome.
And to be completely honest, that's something I struggled with
often and I mentioned it in this podcast in different episodes,
(13:09):
and it's probably gonna come up again because I'll be
real with you with something that I'm practicing, I'm practicing
what I'm preaching. I'm not just saying it to say
I do this all the time. And it's gotten to
a point where, again not even to be arrogant, but
I know that I bring something that has value and
worth and it's not because of me, not because serve
me or serve myself, but because people have received and
(13:29):
have gotten, and that's helped me, honestly be able to
really just hone in on that. But I need you
to understand that you were meant to be there. You
are meant to succeed. You're meant to be in every
room that you walk in. And imposter syndrome tells us
that even though we are capable, that we should not
do because we don't belong. And even when you are successful, again,
impostism makes you believe that this is something that is
(13:52):
not for you. Life and death are on the tongue.
So if I give into this, if I say, if
I give the doubt the power, I look the other
way and say, well, I'm not gonna do these things
because even though I've had some level of success, it
doesn't mean I'm going to be successful. It doesn't mean
that I should do this all in. I should dive
in head first to this thing, because again impostism, it's
(14:12):
a season. It's a moment. But I need you to think, Okay, cool,
it's a season, is a moment. Why aren't you enjoying it?
If you are in a season of success, a season
of fruit, of a season of growth, why aren't you
enjoying the process Because you're too focused on the failure.
You're too focused on what might happen tomorrow, that you
don't live in what's happening right now. You've given so
much authority to the lie of failure that you haven't
(14:32):
lived in the joy of success. And for a lot
of us, that's our downfall. We give in to this
thought that we are not capable, so we will never do.
We give doubt so much authority that you are now
living in fear and not faith. You have created a
mountain of something that's telling you that you are not
who you are meant to be because you think that
(14:53):
you're an impostor. The definition I'm gonna preed you the
exact definition of imposticism is a psychological phenomena where individuals
despite evidence of their competence and accomplishments. That's a big one.
Despite the evidence, there is evidence and fruit of the
things that you've done, that the work that you've given,
the effort that you've put in, there's evidence of this.
(15:13):
If you are doing what you need to do, you
belong there. You belong in those rooms. And honestly, even
if you haven't been doing it yet, even if there's
hope and intent, and but again, you've had doubt in
front of you. So you've stopped yourself from doing those things.
You still belong You still should be in these places,
not because anyone else says you can or can't, but
(15:34):
because you deserve it, because you know that you are
capable of it. It's not that if you know you're capable,
is you doing the thing. So experience persistent feelings of
self doubt and inadequacy, often fearing that they will be
exposed as a fraud. It's characterized by doubting one's abilities
and attributing success to luck. External factors are other people.
(15:57):
I remember what's praying once and again. I know other
people that listen aren't faith based, and that's okay. Again,
there's philosophy and meat behind these things, whether you you
believe it or not. But I'm rose praying once. And
what I do I speak. I travel around as a speaker,
and I speak a lot of conferences and all these things.
And in my prayer I was a God, why is
it that I know so many people who are so
(16:18):
successful and you've never allowed them, or they've never helped
me to be in these places. And in my prayer
I heard in my heart God say, because if I
had allowed them, you would have given them the glory.
You would have given them the thanks and the gratitude
for what they did and not for what I did
in you, not for what I allowed you to do,
and not for what I put in you to make
You would have made them the foundation. And I need
(16:40):
you to understand that there's a deep message here, whether
you receive that portion or not. A lot of times
we base our success of other people again impost syndrome.
We basely think that the things that we've done is
based on them. I need you to know that, Yes,
maybe some people may open doors for you, or may
have put you in positions to do something else, but
if you were authentically you and put your self for
(17:01):
and did what you needed to do, yes they might
have opened the door, but you did the work to
stay in the room. You walk through it, and it's
they didn't open the door. That's even better. I need
you to know how much better it is that people
who could have helped you didn't help you, Because now
the authority and the glory and the power isn't to them,
It's to the one that's given it to you. It's
not what they have done for you. But where have
(17:21):
you put yourself in. There is not a single person
right now that can say, oh, you are where you
are because of me, And I think that is except God,
of course, but I think that is just the most
beautiful thing to ever think of. Like, there are people
who have reached out to me and helped me out
and put me in places. Absolutely, but that was a
byproduct of the work that I've already done. And after
(17:42):
that there's nothing else that anyone can take. I need
you to understand that, whether people help you or not,
whether they've opened doors for you or or put you
in places, that everything that you do from here on
out is not about them. It's always going to be
about the ability in you. And if you think that
you're not capable of then you are right, right Henry Ford,
(18:03):
once again, if you think you can or you can't,
you're right. Whatever that thought is in you, that's what's
gonna be because again, we will limit yourself to the
things that you think you're capable of doing. You are
gonna stay in something because you think that you're not
capable of getting out of it. You belong in every
room you walk in, and who you are is based
(18:24):
on who you want to be, not on who the
things you should be. I think a lot of a
struggle with that. We struggle and get so deep here.
We don't have that much time on this episode, so
I won't get too deep in this premise. But a
lot of these things are tied into wounds that we've
seen through our lives. Like a lot of the reason
that we are thinking we think we're not capable is
because we're too many folds. But we're gonna stay twofold
(18:46):
tier one because our parents have told us that we're
not these things, Like they've created these parental wounds in
us that say you're not capable of certain things, or
they've never spoken to you in that manner, or because
of the image that we've seen in our family, like
the way that we see our family be the worst
possible version of them, and we've created that to be
a limiting factor. I know, again this is like a
(19:09):
sensitive subject, but I know, like often for a lot
of people, we see things like abuse, or we see
things like alcohol or drugs or poverty, and we've made
that a center focus of the things that we do next.
But I think some of the greatest stories that everyone
is capable of living, and everyone's capable of having is
those stories of success from nothing, and I think there's
so much power in knowing that. I always make this joke,
(19:31):
and it's a joke honestly, but I always say, oh,
I wish I had worked in McDonald's because I can't
wait for my story in a couple of years to
have that as a part of it. I did work KFC,
so we might build that one in there. And not
that there's anything wrong with McDonald's or working those kinds
of jobs, but it is a catalyst as to where
I started and where I'm gonna be or where I'm at.
(19:52):
I firmly believe that those people who have those that
those lives have those stories, have two choices. Either have
the great story ever told, or make it an excuse
us to why this mountain was too big for them
to conquer when we doubt. Doubt. It allows us to
realize that even imposter syndrome is about and these things
will never leave until you make it your job to
(20:15):
make it leave. We'll talk about the rest of this happen.
So again, this reality of what you say to you matters,
like we only overcome ourselves by speaking to ourselves. Again,
think about it like, who do you listen to the most?
I hope that I'm to become a part of this
we listen to this podcast a little more. But it's
not just that, it's like not the outside voices can
(20:37):
be very powerful, but the most powerful voice is the
inside voice. It's not the voice of people, of the crowds,
of the ones outside, which again, for a lot of us,
we've created this relationship where those voices control the voice inside.
But the strongest voice you will ever hear is the
voice in your mind. Because that voice is the voice
that is consistent. It's the one that at night when
(20:57):
you're going to sleep, is the last one you hear
when you wake up in the morning, the first when
you hear. It's the one that's growing. So what would
happen if how you spoke to yourself was from a
positive perspective and not from the negative you think of
you like. It's from your capability and not your limits.
It's from the thing that you can do and not
from the things that you've have been afraid to move into.
What if the way you spoke to you change every day?
(21:19):
Because our biggest critic is bus you become your own
biggest enemy, because what happens is that when you speak
against you, you are limiting you, you're hating you, You're
telling you that this is normal. So your brain again
goes back to that default setting to protect you, and
it's going to create this barrier around everything else. What
(21:40):
if the way you spoke to you changed life and
death is on the tongue, what's on your mind, is
on your heart, is in your life. Whatever you think
you will feel and what you feel you will live.
Every aspect of your life will flow from that proponent
when you begin to look at things. And again, this
is not like some silly empowerment thing. I know, we
get that mixed up so often because again there's a
(22:02):
lot of people in these like movements of empowerment and
riches and all these things. I get that there is
that that reality. But this is just at the simplest,
simplest simplest of course, it's just about you, loving you
enough to do what you need to do for you,
loving you enough to believe in you, loving you enough
to create something that is good for you. Despite the
(22:22):
things that you've been in a lot of people are
going to continue to circle the rat race of the
thing that's not good for them because they speak to
them poorly, like they speak to themselves in a way
that that is just detrimental. And there is there is
some use for that. But again that's like really deep
in there. Let's first explain it, but let's first work
(22:43):
on growing yourself. But there is some use in there.
And and this is something that not everyone should do,
and I'm not advocating for it, but there is something
called negative reinforcement. So what happens is often and I
do I do often say this with relationships, sometimes you
need the negative enforcement for you to finally leave. But
even in changing, sometimes a negative reinforcement makes you change.
(23:05):
What happens is that for some people we're able to say, hey,
I suck at this and I need to change, I
need to be better, I need to grow, and we
create that in a healthy way, because that could go
down a very bad rabbit hole. We can go down
this hill where we're keep speaking to us negatively and
now it's not about reinforcement. Now it's just degragating. You're
just destroying you because you're sitting here speaking to you
(23:26):
in the worst way possible. So there is I've just
had to add a little caveat in there that there
is that possibility of it being useful, but that's not
for everybody. What everyone can do, however, is speak to
themselves in a positive way. Right when you start painting
things in doubting the doubt and start questioning those things,
then that thing loses power over you because it's easy
(23:47):
for us to fall into this hole of just pat
because again, it doesn't require anything difficult, it doesn't require
much of a change. When we learn to speak to
ourselves in this positive way, we learn to actually say, hey,
this is this is who I am, and this is
what I deserve. And I'm not a critic of me.
(24:07):
I'm my biggest cheerleader, I'm an advocate, I'm a fan.
You begin to know that you depend on you, and
I need you to understand that, Yes, it's good to
love people and have friends and have those relations healthy.
You need it. You need to be able to have
people around you and be able to vent into open
But it's a problem when you depend on people for everything,
(24:29):
like for your emotional stability, for your self respect, for
your self love. When you depend on people to validate
and to grow that that becomes an issue because again,
then this is not about you and who you are.
It's about who people pretend you are, or people who
have made you out to be. We grow that in
us by allowing ourselves to be authentic, by allowing ourselves
(24:49):
to know who we are and what we deserve, and
then speaking into that and depending on us. And at
this point you then depend on you for everything, for
your growth, for your life, for you, for your validation,
for every aspect that you've given other people power over.
I want just to give you that challenge. And I
know this is like a tough thing to do, but
(25:10):
I this week, if you're if you're you're listening to
the podcast consistently, definitely gonna be mentioning something like this
in the next episode a little I guess, a little
foreshadow or spoiler. I don't know how we word that one,
but we're gonna talk about healing and breakups and uh letting,
letdowns and being let go in the next one. But
this is a perfect catalyst for that. There's a perfect
(25:31):
catalyst for for this healing component, because a lot of
people don't heal because their hearts are stuck in that
they're stuck in this this state of limerens where they're
they're remembering and they're holding on to what was quote
unquote beautiful, what they imagined in those situations, so they're
never able to move or to heal, or to grow
or to get past that. And the next episode really
(25:52):
dive into that reality. But we need to understand that
at the basis of all this, the only way that
we get to those points is if we're able to
speak to us in ourselves in a positive way, Like
if we're able to say, hey, but this is who
you really are, Like the doubt is saying this, the
imposter synder mis say this. The mountain of your dought
is so big. But the truth is that you're not
(26:14):
those things. You are this. Before we get to those
deeper steps, we need to be able to establish that.
So a little challenge, I guess between these two weeks,
well within this week, before our next episode, I want
you this week to first start every morning with something
positive about you, Like it could be the smallest thing,
(26:36):
like I like that I woke up. I like that
that I beat my alarm. I like that I'm getting
out of bed right now. I like that I brush
my teeth for thirty seconds longer whatever that might be,
or find just something to hold on to that's positive
in gold to bed when that same concept. The reason
why is because we build routines and habits of our
(26:57):
own brain and their brain. Is when he's like, whoa wait,
I'm speaking to myself positively, I'm growing in something. And
this becomes a lot easier to do the more we
do it. Obviously, it becomes second nature, it becomes natural. Again.
I quit this to the things that you do before
you go to bed, right, Like, if I go to
sleep listening to a worship song, I'll wake up in
the morning singing a worship song. Why because my brain
(27:18):
that was the last thing it did. So what's happening
is in your sleep, in your rem sleep, your deep sleep,
your brain is going to speak to itself from a
positive perspective. It's going to sit there and it's going
to just remember the last couple of phrases that it
was said to that it believed. And when you wake
up the next day, if you keep the cycle, what
you're doing is now you're creating and enforcing a belief
system and a thought pattern that allows you to do
(27:40):
those things. We've seen this often with like those affirmation tapes.
People will listen to affirmations. There is there scientifically, there
is scientific data that backs up the power and proof
of affirmations. And again, I know we've made things spiritual
and all these it's not spiritual, it's actually scientific. It's
backed in science that there is something positive that happens
(28:00):
in you, that there's a rewiring of your brain that
happens when you actually do these affirmations. So the same
concept we're applying here this you're waking up, you're going
to bed, well, wake up in the morning and speaking
these affirmations, and throughout the day they just kind of
flow into it. And when you go to bed, as
you go to sleep, these things will keep repeating and
keep generating, keep coming back up in your brain. And
what's gonna happen is that we're going to try to
(28:22):
change your brain chemistry. That you can change this, that
you can change the way your brain works and flows
simply by how you speak to it. Because life and
death is on the tongue. Everything that you say, you
will believe what your brain things, your heart will feel,
your life will do, those will be the things that
will flow out of that and it will change that perspective.
(28:42):
So our challenge for this week, and I think that's
a good way to just end this episode today is
challenging you to do that, to sit here and look
at you and give yourself this, this push, this affirmation
as to who you are, this truth as to who
you are, this belief as to who you are, this
growth that you are good, and just live in that
(29:02):
reality and know that the doubts are lies because they
have to be loud, the doubts, the lies of that
have to yell, they have to be extra and the
truth is peaceful. So I hope that there's some goodness
in this episode for you and dealing without and the
words that you speak to yourself and knowing that you
(29:22):
are made for this very same mountain of doubt and
that you will conquer it and that there will be
something beautiful that comes from it because you knew and
you were able to stand up to it, that you
belong in those rooms and that if they didn't invite
you in, you make ways to get in yourself. So
thank you so much for being a part of this episode.
And again, the next series of the episodes, the one
(29:44):
before this one, this one, and the next two are
probably some of my favorite episodes that I've ever written.
I'm not just saying it again just so you come back.
I hope you come back. But this specific group I
think is so empowered, so powerful for a lot of people.
So I'm really excited about it because I've put a
lot of love into it and it just seems really
really good. So thank you again for listening to Thank
(30:07):
you yet for being a part of this podcast. And
I'll hear you or see you, or you'll see me
or you'll hear me one of those things in the
next episode. Take care
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