June 19, 2025 • 34 mins
From boats to the priesthood... to a love story he never expected.
In this heartfelt episode of Made For This Mountain, I sit down with my friend Steve as he walks us through the unexpected turns of his life from dreaming of designing luxury boats for millionaires, to discerning the priesthood, to ultimately meeting the woman who would become his wife.
But this episode is about more than a love story.
It’s about calling, surrender, clarity, and choosing love on purpose.
We dive into:
- The tension between personal dreams and divine redirection
- How clarity often comes in the most unexpected places
- What it means to love on purpose instead of chasing feeling
- Why timing, faith, and obedience matter more than the plan you had in mind
If you’ve ever felt torn between passion and purpose, or if you’re navigating seasons of waiting, this one will speak directly to you.
Because the truth is we all know what love is. But loving on purpose, and in purpose?
That changes everything.
You might see your own story in his.
#PurposeDrivenLove #FaithAndCalling #SteveStory #LoveOnPurpose #MadeForThisMountain #VocationalDiscernment #UnexpectedLove #JoshuaRosa #GodsPlanNotMine
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This freedom to not be perfect but still to be loved.
And I think that's the hard things to find. And
when you find that that's genuine, that's the reality of
it all.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
For sure, that was such a difficult thing of like
wanting to pursue perfection and to to like hide imperfection. Yeah,
but say like like no, like share that with me,
show that with me.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
I want to. I want to love you.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
I want to be there for you and and be
a shoulder to cry on, be the courage, be the support,
lift you up, call you out when you're saying and
act in certain ways so that you can.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Hear and know like, hey, this isn't helpful. Yeah, yeah,
that's what. That's what any genuine relationship is, not even
just romantic like even platonically. For sure, our family, it's
just like you're able to tell me, hey, this is
where I'm wrong, but I still love you in it.
But let's correct it, let's fix it, let's change that thing.
This is made for this mountain with Josh Roda or
turning pain into purpose. So well, first of all, thank
(00:58):
you for being here.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Very noticed.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
I lost the tooth. So this happened to VC this year.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
So the other day actually funny because this was perfect
with the podcast.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
I was doing these radio and like video things, and
the day before my tooth fell out, I went to
the dentist before they saw like the whole skin, nothing
was wrong with everything was perfectly fine, and then out
of nowhere, it just felt but it perfectly fell out
the day before. And I actually I talked about it today.
I was mentioning it because obviously I'm speaking in front
of people, so I was like, oh, by the way,
(01:29):
you notice I don't have a tooth on my right side.
I guess my smile and I smile a lot, like
when I speak, I'm a very happy person. I'm miserable,
so I smile. And I was like, oh, this is
what happened. But the day before it fell out, before
I had all these things, and I couldn't do anything
but laugh because it was like this perfect irony where
it's like I'm doing all these amazing things and I
(01:49):
don't have a tooth. So I found so much joy
in that, and I was like this. It was talking
about the fruitless spirits and how joy is a fruit
and all these things, and just how I could have
just laughed. So my dentist told me that's going to
take four months for me to get a replacement, so
he's gonna do.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
What's called a flipper. Yep.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
So we have a flipper there until the replacement is done.
So if you notice me smiling, I should have mentioned
that before, which trying to set up for us, but
I don't have it too, so.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
That's okay, that's okay. My teeth are fake, well at
least part of it, because I want already.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
So that's the second one. Yeah. Man, it just like
fell out on its own. Yeah. Literally, I was I
was eating a panada.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Oh well, there you go, and I probably swallowed it,
which is the craziest thing. Either that or it's like
under that couch over there, but it's one of those things.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
So first of all, I just introduce to Steve.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
For those of you visiting, this is Steve is one
of my best friends, yourst friends I've had for a
very long time. And thank you for me the first
person on this podcast. I think we were getting tired
of just hearing me alone. So a second different perspective,
and this is the beauty. So everything is not set
up yet, which I this is like one of those
like finding Beauty in the mess. But that was actually
(02:56):
the first microphone I've ever used to create content. I
remember this microphone is very well funk and it was like, yeah,
and now we got like this fancy microphone here and
next month hopefully while like all the set up and stuff,
but you know, you have the honor of, Wow, I'm yeah,
the first messed up or first whatever microphone that we used.
(03:17):
It's a great concept. So Steve, tell us about yourself.
Like people are listening, it's like, who is Steve?
Speaker 3 (03:22):
Yeah, so what makes you you? What makes me me?
Is my DNA be Okay, well that's fair. Yeah, uh no,
I'm Steve.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
I am a husband, I am a father, I am
a friend, and you know, I'm here just trying to
to make it happen, to make it work the life life.
Connect the dots, yeah, connect the dots, you know, and
to continue to find you know, that mountain the purpose
(03:53):
like you talked about in previous episodes. But just trying
to you know, trying to be the best husban been,
be the best father, be the best person that I
can be for my family.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
So yeah, I'm not here.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Yeah, I think that's like the ideal goal for everyone
just to be ideal in our situations or whatever it
looks like, whether you're married or single or anything, which
we are going to talk about, like your vocations and
stuff like that. So for people listening, maybe you don't know.
I have a lot of people who aren't like walking
in like Christianity or faithful story of strands. So everyone
everyone's love to welcome no matter what. But when we'll
(04:27):
talk about vocations specifically, it's not like just careers or jobs.
It's like this deep divine calling which most of us,
most of all of us have. We all have a
calling to something, and I think the most intricate part
of us is that there's something intimate there. And we're
talking about before putting on a microphone or camera, talking
about purpose and what purpose looks like and living in that.
(04:49):
What's purpose for you? Like, what does that mean to you?
Speaker 3 (04:53):
Hmmm? I think purpose for me means.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
Like walking the path that is made for you and
pursuing it and not just walking arbitrarily and trying to
get to a certain point. But you might find yourself
on a path and you say, you know what, I'm
(05:19):
walking this thing, but it's not fulfilling. So I think
purpose ties in with fulfillment and also sacrifice. So purpose
is finding that thing that like where you are sacrificing,
but the sacrifice is worth it. It's a challenge, it's rough,
it's a struggle, but it's only something that you can
(05:42):
understand and you are willing to walk through and go
through because.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
It's meant and made for you.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Yeah. Yeah, at the end of the day, is finding
the thing that that gives you the most identity. I
think a lot of people struggle with that though. I
think we struggle with knowing what's real and what's not.
And because as obviously our social like the pressures and structure,
we think that the thing that we have to do
is the thing that's most approved. So what people look
(06:09):
at us do it you say you're doing the right thing,
and that's like the thing. I mean, I feel like
that comes from everyone, like from family members, from friends,
from just society in general. But we look at things
to say that this is what we're supposed.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
To be at and it doesn't fulfill us absolutely. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
I mean I'm a teacher and a coach, coach volleyball,
teach on high school and you know, one of the
big things I said when we were just talking about
like approval to all the kids, like, don't do it
for approval.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
Do it for a purpose.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
So I know you shared it in like previous episodes
of you know, one person clapping right, going to do
it for you and ain't going to pay the bills
like you said, and it's true, it's very true. But
when we're able to find that identity within ourselves and
really tap into it and understand and like be okay
with who we are at the end of the day, yeah,
And that was a big thing for me because there's
(06:56):
so much of that like hey, you should do this,
you should do this, you should do this, and inside
I was like, well I kind of want to do this.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
And so now finally being in that spot where I'm like, no,
I know who I am, I know where I want
to be. I know it's good for me, and I'm
gonna go do it.
Speaker 3 (07:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Yeah, because at the end of the day, that's like
like that classic saying, no one is going to die
your death, no one's going to live your life. You
have to do the things that you love because you
love them.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
And that's the reality.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
I mean that's purpose and it's cool, I know, like
for for you specifically from expressily the faith life, you
had a different path before, that's right, what's that story like?
Speaker 3 (07:31):
Like what was that?
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Because that's a mountain, right, So that's like the premise
of this mounted what's the.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
Thing that for you?
Speaker 1 (07:37):
Seems like it was not not conquerable or difficult, but
it became something that you like overcame. So not that
your vocation is something you have to overcome, right, something
you have to live through and that's something you have
to be in. So in all fairness though, we already
to take a quick commercial break, so that's the only
thing real listening. First of all, thank you so much
for being a part of this podcast. I think some
(07:58):
really interesting conversation is going to have been after this.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
Really really quick break, and we'll see you in.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
A quick minute. Think you for coming back. It's really simple.
Sometimes you just got to listen. So we were talking
about you and your purpose and your your vocation story.
I know obviously it's always a very interesting one because
the certainly the priesthood and things like that and thinking
religious life was for you, what is that? What is
that mountain like for you? Now and like from that premise, yeah, I.
Speaker 4 (08:23):
Mean when I was nineteen years old, I was a
student at Sunni Maritime College in the Bronx So Sudden,
studying naval architecture engineering, and I was getting ready architecture.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Yeah wait, wait what So I wanted to build ships
and make boat loads of money. That's the way I
like to say.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
The naval architecture engineering. That's like a tongue twister.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
I wanted to build boats and ships and like sea
crafts and things like that. I remember I was watching
TV one day. It was like HGTV, like million dollar yachts.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
Or something like that. I just to build that. Yeah.
This person put mirrors on the bottom of their boat
and for the fish. Legit.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
They were like why why do you have mirrors on
your boat. He's like, I'll want the fish to see himself.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
And I was like, that guy, he's got too much money.
I wanted some of that and I will build it
for him, want them to see what they could be. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
So I was like, that's that's like a pretty cool
thing to build ships. Like somebody's got to build that,
somebody's got to design it. And I always enjoyed drawing,
and I would, you know, try to build things. I
love skateboarding, rollerblade and growing up.
Speaker 3 (09:27):
So I like build ramps and things like that. So
of course it goes hand.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
In hand, right wants I mean, there's a song out there,
but will fare but we won't quothe it.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
But yeah, that's right, that's right. Uh and John c
Riley h and Andre Pacelli.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
So I think it was part of that yeah weird
lead enough, Yeah, but uh yeah. So I was getting
ready to ship out for a summer seat term. I
was gonna be gone for sixty days, and right before.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
I left, I went out to Hollingship.
Speaker 4 (09:52):
My mom.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
She was like, what are you gonna do if you
don't like being out on the ship, And I was like,
oh my gosh. And right then and there, I was like,
I have no idea what you want to let me
have no idea what I'm going to be doing.
Speaker 5 (10:05):
With my life, but if you want to let me know,
I'm listening. I have no idea what you want me
to do with my life, but if you want to
let me know, I'm listening. And right then and there,
in the moment it's sitting in a diner, I felt
that words Steve, and you have a vocation, And I
felt like that was something that I was avoiding for
such a long time. And I was like, no, not me,
not now, not here, I'm not ready. But finally I
was like, had to surrender. I had to give in.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
So I went out on the ship for two months.
It was an amazing experience, but I realized it was
not for me. Like the number one thing I loved
was the camaraderie. I like being with the people.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
I love the community.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
But to know that that was like what life was
going to be like but with way way way less people,
was really not for me.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
So when I came back, I withdrew from the school.
I entered the Formation program with the Solusions of Don
Bosco uh and I was a product of Solusions.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
Schools, so I knew I knew the community.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
I knew their like pedagogy, I knew their charism and style.
But when I got to actually like really spend time
with them to see what DAILI life looked like, I
was like, wow, I could really see myself here. So
I thought my path, that my purpose was for the priesthood.
But it was a long process. It's eleven years. Yeah,
and I discerned seven seven years to the thing that's
like at the end already.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
So it was a long period of time and during
that time I was able to do like amazing things,
incredible things, meet amazing people. But I feel like I
developed vocations within the vocation while I was going so
like filling the call, within the call of these other
routes and paths where I was finding purpose, where I
was finding fulfillment and finding joy, and if I had
to take those pieces away, and at the end of
(11:37):
the day, I was left with like religious life and
not saying that it's like not nothing but your call
to religious life to be a part of religious life.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
And it's like being called to be a doctor.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
And then you're like, listen, student surgery, performing surgery is great,
but I really like hanging out with my office staff
more like I don't know if that makes sense, but
really what I was finding is that my joy wasn't
necessarily coming from within the community, but from external places
and sources.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
So that was always in the back of my mind.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
And I was getting involved in ministry in different ways,
like doing retreats and concerts and got to meet you You're.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
Playing the cahone one day and who's this guy coming?
Speaker 4 (12:19):
Right?
Speaker 3 (12:20):
And that's an organatic story. The rest is history friendship
at first or work sight, No, but it was.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
It was such an amazing experience, and uh, you know,
I discerned out and continued working full time with the ministry,
and in that like I met my wife, she was
a part of the ministry as well, and everything kind
of just flowed naturally, and like I felt that like
that purpose, that fulfillment, the validation, like yes, this is
who I am, this home called to be.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
But even in that, like it changes and.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Like relationships change and grow and move and shift and whatnot.
But really like kind of overcoming that mountain of what
that experience of religious life was like. It was tough
because it's like they lay the path out for you
pretty much. You just have to be willing to discern
it and walk it. And for me, I feel like
(13:14):
I would have been like a grumpy, burnt out, like shortchanged,
like old man, like living that life because it would
have been it would have been so easy and so
laid out that I really have to do much for it.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
But I knew that that's not what I was called
to do or who I was called to be.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
So do you think that finding purpose and that was.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
That was a part of it?
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Like going through what you had to go through and
thinking that you wanted to be there, but they're realizing
that that that's not It was.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
That like a part of the purpose story or was
I like.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
You know, just a side quest?
Speaker 3 (13:50):
One hundred percent. I don't feel it was a side
quest whatsoever.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
I really think that going through and experiencing the highs
and the lows, the ups and downs and everything in between,
it's all a part of my story makes it even
better for me to relate to people and connect with
people and to kind of bridge that gap of like
no I was I was in those shoes, I was
living like in that world.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
That was a part of that life.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
So to understand kind of like the ebbs and flows
of what it means to discern and like just because
you think about being a priest as oh you're gonna
be a priest bang, or you're thinking about becoming a
sister and living in a comment or religious life or
whatever the case is, whatever the ministry is, boom, you're
it right away. But it takes time, and thank god,
it takes time, because otherwise if it was a short
(14:34):
period of time, people are the wrong thing. Yeah, we'll
be like, oh my gosh, what am I doing here?
Speaker 1 (14:38):
It wasn't eleven, it was six, you might have done it,
like you know what I'm in here.
Speaker 3 (14:43):
I'm permitted, it's already yeah. Yeah. But I don't think
that's like a life lesson.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Like sometimes we have seasons where we think that this
is the thing that I need to be in and
it's not like it's just one of those things that
it so a lot of struggles that I hear, a
lot of questions that I always have. It is like relationships,
Like that's one of a big, big takeaway for some reason.
We're all miserable people for something. But one thing that
I realized is that people think that seasons equate their
life to light, like the whole life, like that whole story,
(15:08):
and it's not.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
It's a seasoned Yeah. They say like, oh my gosh,
it's over, So this is it. I've reached the end.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
I can't do this anymore. Yeah, But really that's that's
the fear creeping in. Yeah, And but the distractions taking
you away from what that purpose is. And I thought
about that for a while, Yeah, I was like, was
I like misled or did I like did I like
quit too soon? But ultimately like the peace I've had
just in reflecting and discerning continually, like no, thank God,
(15:35):
I made the right decision, moved at the right time,
did the right things that I needed to to just
keep moving in my life, and where I felt that
I was being called to within that call to say, Okay,
well this isn't it like there's like a split in
the road and saying Okay, you've been traveling this road
and it was looking really good and you were finding
fulfillment your purpose. However it's shifting and it's changing.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
Yeah, and that's okay.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
Yeah, And I think I mean, and not just in
the sense of like pre there's a bit that like
those deep discernment things, but I think some people like
we'll look at that and it will think, well, what's
that for me? I mean, I think it's important understand
that there's seasons for everything for everyone. So for you
in that case, was a season of discernment and learning something,
because it's not like you went through it and didn't
(16:18):
take anything with you. It was a season of picking
things up and sometimes there's stages where we need to
learn things that later on that hurt now to do,
but later on have so much benefit. Like it's knowing
that this thing that I went through in this moment,
it hurts right now, it hurts to think that I
have to leave or have to separate or have to
cut away, but later on it's going to build something
(16:39):
amazing in you because obviously there's something you took from
that that are beneficial now. And your current vocation, which
is marriage, was as a father, which is a husband,
which is a son, all these things that you are,
And what do you think would be the biggest tool
that you took in there? Like what was the thing
that seemed like it didn't make sense? But now in
(17:00):
the location you're in, that's something that you brought with you.
It's like a deep question. Yeah, that's a great question.
Speaker 3 (17:05):
What you What did you take?
Speaker 1 (17:07):
That a better way of phrase it, what did you
take with you?
Speaker 2 (17:10):
I think what I took with me was learning how
to live with other people and learning how to like
navigate life with other people.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
And also like.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
Just straight up discerning of like is this is this
really what I want to be doing? Is this really
where I want to be at and being honest with
yourself of trying to ask those questions. I think I
think that skill has has helped me in my professional
career as like a teacher and as a coach and
the different things that I've done ministry wise, of like
(17:50):
just being able to relate with people, finding empathy, finding
common ground, being able to communicate invitation, things along those lines.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
Yeah, I mean, I think that's also a hard part,
especially with marriage, Like I don't think people realize how
hard it is to coexist. Like one thing, it's like, Okay,
we're married with.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
Together, but we have to live together.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Like we got to figure out what they used to
leave you alone? Would they speak to you? Would they
said not do this thing? And I think that's something
that So I have the privilege that I get to
talk to a lot of people about a lot of things,
and sometimes too many people have too many questions and
I can't address everybody at the same time. But I
do think one of the questions too, with questions that
I've forgotten one it's the sense of like heally and
(18:31):
attaching when it comes to like leaving a marriage or
a relationship, which I'm Obviously, I'm I'm very pro marriage,
pro living that out. But I do understand that different
people have different scenarios, and I do think that the
sermon is a struggle that a lot of people didn't
They didn't discern the person they were with, They didn't pray,
they didn't think, they didn't sit there and actually analyze.
(18:52):
They responded from a point of emotion. So now they're
struggling with that same lack of emotions. So they're dealing
with something that they didn't actually preak through and now
they realize that they can't live with this person. Like
that's that's a big issue for a lot of people.
When he comes to this conversation, it's more like how
do I get away from this thing? And I think
(19:13):
that the obviously different people different situations, but I think
the first thing we should always go to is how
do I deal with other people before I get into
this situation, like before I get into this marriage. Obviously
discernment is a huge component of that, but it's understanding
that the concept of how do I normally deal with people?
(19:34):
Do you think it's different when people dive into marriages
or to relationships opposed to like living with people that
you're friendly with, like your friends. So obviously let's worry
that a little nicer last thing I needs Emily have
stabbed me.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
How do we deal with a person because obviously.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
You're coming from a perspective of dealing with like friends
and brothers and all this into dealing with marriage with.
Speaker 3 (19:56):
A huge, huge, huge shift. Marriage is a huge sacrifice.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
I mean, obviously pre should to be a huge sacrifice itself,
but that vocation of marriage is an even bigger sacrifice
because it's no longer just my problems, our problem.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
So how do you.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Shift from from one proponent to the other? Like, do
you think that that was a drastic shift between dealing
with these kind of people versus dealing with this person?
Speaker 2 (20:19):
I mean, what I feel and what I think is
that there is a sense of love. And what I
felt when I was discerning in religious life was like
I don't want to be told that I have to
love people, and I don't want to tell people, no,
you got to love me. But when you meet somebody
who loves you, truly, deeply cares for you, it makes
(20:43):
it known. In the small ways, it makes it that
much more special, exciting, different, deep, true, authentic so I
think that that's such a big difference. But what I
would also add and specifically for me and learning how
to communicate with people and deal with people, one of
the biggest things recently that I had to learn and
(21:04):
understand is how.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
To communicate with myself and how to.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
Like really like who am I and digging into that
and like understanding like what are my emotions, what am
I feeling? How am I feeling? How can I communicate
this properly? And knowing that I'm loved and that I'm
cared for and that my wife wants to hear this
from me and genuinely cares about it because like her
will being is attached to my well being, My well
(21:33):
being is attached to her well being. Our well being
is attached to like our child's well being. So having true,
authentic like communication and being able to express everything is
the key.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
To making things work and making things.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
You know, last be aware of you is a huge component.
And we'll actually talk a little bit more about that
after this commercial break. So yeah, talking about that specifically
as right back into this, This is a reality that
that's actually huge. I think so many people neglect themselves,
Like I know, how hard, like again, this is there
(22:15):
is I said this often. There's no person that's perfect.
I'm far, far, far from perfect. I don't have everybody
figured out, but I do feel like I have a
good perspective on things and I'm able to offer these
things and things that I need to work on myself
that I know a lot of people struggle with is
being able to speak to you, like allow people to
help you, to love you, to care for you, but
(22:35):
also being able to identify those things in you, like
being able to say, hey, I need to work more
on X, Y and Z, like this thing that I'm
struggling with, like speaking to me or letting me know
that that's a huge struggle. I think that's huge, not
just a hill, it's a mountain for sure. A lot
of people it's like we don't allow ourselves to be
(22:56):
loved one like that's the first first complinent when when
you're used to being give her is very hard for
you to receive. And I know I've struggled out myself
like that, the reality of I'm very good at doing,
but I'm very very hard at receiving. I tell a
story often like my aunt trying to throw a surprise
party for me once.
Speaker 3 (23:14):
I think you were here for that help.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
Yeah, that's She's like, oh, yeah, we're just said at
five thirty.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
But I'm Dominigrand, but I'm not like by the rest
of my family.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
I'm like punctual, Like I show up, you said five thirty,
I'm here at five. So I was here at five
and she was putting out chairs and I helped her.
Speaker 3 (23:28):
Yeah, but I know your did.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
This is not really a party. I mean, I'm here
for it, but this is a reality where we were
at least I know this.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
I'm very aware of this. I struggle at.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
Letting people do things for me because I'm so used
to doing things for other people. Now shifting that into
the fatherhood, the husband and that component, what does that
look like for you, like letting people do things for you.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
So the thing of like letting people do things for me.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
Is I think it's different because a part of my
personality when I was younger and when I was developing
growing up was I was very much like a taker.
Thing like handed to me, I'm not going to do
much work for it if I have to work too hard,
and I'm not really going to go for it. It was, Yeah,
(24:20):
it wasn't a good spot to be yet, like wasn't
a healthy place to be in of just like waiting
for things to just come to me and sit there
and not work for it and not feel the struggle
or not know the struggle or not know what other
people are going through and not having that like emotional
IQ to say, hmm, maybe that like what I'm doing
(24:44):
is different or like not everybody has this experience or
I don't understand that person's experience. So I think it's
really like challenged me to develop that emotional IQ to
real understand where someone is coming from into like.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
Really really learn.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
Humility, and that is that's a big thing. That's a
big thing for me of like learning humility because I
was not a humble person. It was just like I
thought that I was like the greatest, the best, and
I learned that like I wasn't.
Speaker 3 (25:22):
What I did learn is that I'm loved and my
wife loves me.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
Even though I'm not the greatest, even though I'm not
the best, and that's what makes me like love her
all the more and what makes me like tap in,
as I say, humbly, tap tap into the humility so
that my wife can love me like in our challenges,
in our difficulties, so that we can rejoice together, so
(25:48):
we can cry together, so that we can experience life
together in all the beautiful ways that we can and
the challenging ways that we can as well. So just
I think in that sense of giving, it's and for
me to receive the help as well. You know, I'm
definitely in a place of like knowing how to receive
the help and who to receive help from.
Speaker 3 (26:10):
Yeah, is a big key. Yeah. I mean that's beautiful.
Though it's understanding.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
That that this is a reciprocity thing. So I love
for you, love me too, and it's not just I
do for you or you do for me, but we
do for us. And that's the reality of it. That's
what a healthy relationship should look like. There is no
such thing as a perfect relationship, to be clear, there
is absolutely that doesn't exist.
Speaker 3 (26:32):
That's that's in it.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
The only perfect relationship is like between you and God,
like that's about it. That's because he's perfect, not because
of you. But there's those things that but there is
a reality of a relationship that has genuine reciprocity. So
we both desire this and even though we will have
friction and we'll have with bop heads. It's just a
desire to love each other fully and that that's the
reality of it. At giving ourselves this this freedom to
(26:57):
not be perfect but still to be loved. I think
that's the hard thing to find. And when you find
that that's genuine, that's the reality of it all.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
For sure.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
That was such a difficult thing of like wanting to
pursue perfection and to to like hide imperfection. Yeah, but
say like like no, like share that with me, should
with me?
Speaker 3 (27:19):
I want to. I want to love you.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
I want to be there for you and and be
a shoulder, cry on, be the courage, be the support,
lift you up, call you out when you're saying and
act in certain ways so that you can.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
Hear and know like, hey, this isn't helpful. Yeah, yeah,
that's what. That's what any genuine relationship is, not even
just romantic like even platonically. For sure, our family, it's
just like you're able to tell me, hey, this is
where I'm wrong, but I still love you in it.
But let's correct it, let's fix it, let's change that thing.
Speaker 3 (27:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
I think that's that's that's one of the hardest components
of it. But we talked about purpose and on this podcast.
I mean, we know how much time left, but just
this reality that purpose is something that we need to
learn to attack to us and not to our exterior things.
You mentioned your your volleyball team and you said to
live what was it on purpose?
Speaker 3 (28:07):
A purpose? Yeah, don't do it for approval, do it
for a purpose? What does that mean to you? Like,
was that was that phrase? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (28:15):
So I initially started it when my guys are doing
serving drills, and if you serve the ball for volleyball,
you serve it into the net, you lose your rotation,
the ball goes the other team, they get a free
point and they get the ball and then they serve.
So in practice I was putting consequences on it. And
when they would serve into the net, all right, guys,
ten pushups, five laps.
Speaker 3 (28:36):
Whatever it was.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
And so after they got a serf, they'd be like, coach,
you saw that, you saw I got it over And
I said, don't do it for my approval. Because when
you're in the game, you're working with the team, you're
working for a goal, which is to win your set.
That you can go and win the match, go win
the next match, win the game. So don't do it
for approval. Do it for a purpose, like you're not
(28:58):
you're not doing your task or doing that thing that
you know is going to help you reach your goal.
So that you could take that step and then look
back behind you or onto the sideline and say to somebody.
Speaker 3 (29:07):
Like, did you see what I did? I did it right, I.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
Finally got it. Like I'm not here to clap my
hands for you. I'm here to say, yeah, that's what
you're supposed to do. Keep moving, keep going.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
So do it for a purpose.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
I got to get that ball over the other side
of the net so that my guys were blockers can
go and do their job. My defenders can make sure
they're gonna dig the ball and get it up, and
my steter can make a play, and my hitters are
gonna swing. So the purpose of what you do is
not necessarily going to win the point off the bat
like you shouldn't be up the line say I'm gonna
get an ace. I'm going to be the one to
get the point. But we're going to keep this rally alive,
(29:39):
and I'm going to work with the people around me
to work for the common goal, which is to get
the point, which is to win the game, which is
to win the match.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
Yeah, because at the end of the day, it's like,
what's the point of showing off if you're just said
that going to be successful. Yeah, you could say all
you want to say, nothing's going to change. So that's
that truth.
Speaker 3 (29:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
No, I from the girth obviously, because that's something I
say often. It's if you was if you live for
the applause of the crowd, you die for the lack
there of if you think that people need to prove
And this is the sad reality that we live in
a world that we're it's easier to talk about people
than it is to encourage them. We have this culture
of I want to judge and drag and this is
(30:18):
not an episode for it.
Speaker 3 (30:19):
We don't have enough time for it.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
I could sit here and just talk about the reality
of other things I've gone through with my life. I
wouldn't even call them situations. My life is a gift.
But where I've been the conversation topic of people, which
I've learned in the hardest way, that is actually a compliment.
When you are the topic, it means that you are
interesting enough to speak about and what people have all
(30:44):
these things to say about you, but it is not
the episode for it. But if you live for the
applause of the people.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
You die for the lack thereof.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
That's that same concept.
Speaker 3 (30:52):
We don't have a purpose.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
If you live for applause, not for a purpose, it's
not gonna be beneficial. Just thank you first of all
for sharing your story with us. I think that's always interesting.
Speaker 3 (31:02):
I know, I know.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
Again, everyone has different walks, and there are some people
believe some people that don't. You're far off or close
by or I appreciate this component of my demographic of people,
of people who are walking with this podcast that they're
not like just cookie cutter Christians or Catholic or there's
people here.
Speaker 3 (31:22):
Who I've seen those.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
Also, one thing I really appreciate like social media.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
Social media.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
This is awesome too because it shows me all these
other things. But there are people on my platforms that
completely don't believe in God at all. There are people
that are far, far far away, and there are people
that are like super super Christian, and I appreciate the
fact that they all have something in common with these
things over me as I was a big thing. But
I do know vocations for some people is a big
part of their story or questions or things that they have,
(31:48):
and I appreciate you sharing that with us. I think
it's definitely different. I appreciate you being.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
The first episode. I think that's with another person.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
Rather, it's just fitting because okay, we.
Speaker 3 (31:59):
Only have a couple second so i'll those real quick.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
The reason if you're listening, if you stayed.
Speaker 3 (32:03):
Till this whole time, you're gonna get some interesting insight.
Like the reason I.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
Started doing social media was when we started doing that
company thing with that we're trying to reach out and
whatever life is life, and there was like it was
it seemed like a really good idea, but it was
really hard to execute with how busy we both are,
let alone trying to like live a family and all
these things. So I was like, well, I can't tell people.
I can show them that we could do this for
(32:27):
them if I can't do it for myself. This right
that was the catalyst behind me growing my social media
and then I saw how impactful it was for people.
So I was like, oh, now I got to do
this and then praise God for tiktokuse TikTok started taking
care of me and I was like, wait, I could
do this, and then lost the short. We did that
and we ended up having a podcasts that we're here now.
(32:48):
But there's a purpose behind everything, even if you're not.
Speaker 3 (32:51):
Aware of it. Absolutely, that was my takeaway there.
Speaker 1 (32:55):
Yeah, but Steve, my brother, thank you so much for
being on this podcast. Thank you for being uh just
you just.
Speaker 3 (33:00):
Seriously Mike's away.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
I'm so grateful for your your brotherhood's who you are.
And yeah, is there Eddie last message you'd like to
share it before we sign off.
Speaker 3 (33:11):
I just want to say thank you.
Speaker 2 (33:12):
I'm grateful for your brotherhood, your friendship. I'm always there,
always answering the call, no matter what time of day
it is or night.
Speaker 3 (33:19):
And for those listening, you know, uh, he's a real dude.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
He's a real guy. He means what he says, he
says what he means. He's not doing it for approval,
he's not doing it for applause.
Speaker 3 (33:28):
He's a real deal.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
And uh, no matter what part of life you're in,
whether you're at the beginning, the middle of the end,
if you're on a clear beach or there's a crazy
storm around you. There's a purpose, there's a purpose.
Speaker 3 (33:42):
And there's a reason why you are in what you're.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
In and what you're going through, and you've got to
stay like stay the stay the what's the word, stay
the course, Stay the course, stay the course. If you're
on that ship and the storm is crazy, the sun
will come back out, the rain will subside, the waves
will subside. You it's crazy. You've got to respond to
what's happening, but keep pushing, keep fighting, as there's a
(34:06):
purpose for what you're going through.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
Yeah, there's purpose in the pain, so the slogan there.
So thank you guys for listening, thank you for being
on this podcast episode, and we'll hear you on the
next one.
Speaker 3 (34:16):
Take care
This freedom to not be perfect but still to be loved.
And I think that's the hard things to find. And
when you find that that's genuine, that's the reality of
it all.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
For sure, that was such a difficult thing of like
wanting to pursue perfection and to to like hide imperfection. Yeah,
but say like like no, like share that with me,
show that with me.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
I want to. I want to love you.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
I want to be there for you and and be
a shoulder to cry on, be the courage, be the support,
lift you up, call you out when you're saying and
act in certain ways so that you can.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Hear and know like, hey, this isn't helpful. Yeah, yeah,
that's what. That's what any genuine relationship is, not even
just romantic like even platonically. For sure, our family, it's
just like you're able to tell me, hey, this is
where I'm wrong, but I still love you in it.
But let's correct it, let's fix it, let's change that thing.
This is made for this mountain with Josh Roda or
turning pain into purpose. So well, first of all, thank
(00:58):
you for being here.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Very noticed.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
I lost the tooth. So this happened to VC this year.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
So the other day actually funny because this was perfect
with the podcast.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
I was doing these radio and like video things, and
the day before my tooth fell out, I went to
the dentist before they saw like the whole skin, nothing
was wrong with everything was perfectly fine, and then out
of nowhere, it just felt but it perfectly fell out
the day before. And I actually I talked about it today.
I was mentioning it because obviously I'm speaking in front
of people, so I was like, oh, by the way,
(01:29):
you notice I don't have a tooth on my right side.
I guess my smile and I smile a lot, like
when I speak, I'm a very happy person. I'm miserable,
so I smile. And I was like, oh, this is
what happened. But the day before it fell out, before
I had all these things, and I couldn't do anything
but laugh because it was like this perfect irony where
it's like I'm doing all these amazing things and I
(01:49):
don't have a tooth. So I found so much joy
in that, and I was like this. It was talking
about the fruitless spirits and how joy is a fruit
and all these things, and just how I could have
just laughed. So my dentist told me that's going to
take four months for me to get a replacement, so
he's gonna do.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
What's called a flipper. Yep.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
So we have a flipper there until the replacement is done.
So if you notice me smiling, I should have mentioned
that before, which trying to set up for us, but
I don't have it too, so.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
That's okay, that's okay. My teeth are fake, well at
least part of it, because I want already.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
So that's the second one. Yeah. Man, it just like
fell out on its own. Yeah. Literally, I was I
was eating a panada.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Oh well, there you go, and I probably swallowed it,
which is the craziest thing. Either that or it's like
under that couch over there, but it's one of those things.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
So first of all, I just introduce to Steve.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
For those of you visiting, this is Steve is one
of my best friends, yourst friends I've had for a
very long time. And thank you for me the first
person on this podcast. I think we were getting tired
of just hearing me alone. So a second different perspective,
and this is the beauty. So everything is not set
up yet, which I this is like one of those
like finding Beauty in the mess. But that was actually
(02:56):
the first microphone I've ever used to create content. I
remember this microphone is very well funk and it was like, yeah,
and now we got like this fancy microphone here and
next month hopefully while like all the set up and stuff,
but you know, you have the honor of, Wow, I'm yeah,
the first messed up or first whatever microphone that we used.
(03:17):
It's a great concept. So Steve, tell us about yourself.
Like people are listening, it's like, who is Steve?
Speaker 3 (03:22):
Yeah, so what makes you you? What makes me me?
Is my DNA be Okay, well that's fair. Yeah, uh no,
I'm Steve.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
I am a husband, I am a father, I am
a friend, and you know, I'm here just trying to
to make it happen, to make it work the life life.
Connect the dots, yeah, connect the dots, you know, and
to continue to find you know, that mountain the purpose
(03:53):
like you talked about in previous episodes. But just trying
to you know, trying to be the best husban been,
be the best father, be the best person that I
can be for my family.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
So yeah, I'm not here.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Yeah, I think that's like the ideal goal for everyone
just to be ideal in our situations or whatever it
looks like, whether you're married or single or anything, which
we are going to talk about, like your vocations and
stuff like that. So for people listening, maybe you don't know.
I have a lot of people who aren't like walking
in like Christianity or faithful story of strands. So everyone
everyone's love to welcome no matter what. But when we'll
(04:27):
talk about vocations specifically, it's not like just careers or jobs.
It's like this deep divine calling which most of us,
most of all of us have. We all have a
calling to something, and I think the most intricate part
of us is that there's something intimate there. And we're
talking about before putting on a microphone or camera, talking
about purpose and what purpose looks like and living in that.
(04:49):
What's purpose for you? Like, what does that mean to you?
Speaker 3 (04:53):
Hmmm? I think purpose for me means.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
Like walking the path that is made for you and
pursuing it and not just walking arbitrarily and trying to
get to a certain point. But you might find yourself
on a path and you say, you know what, I'm
(05:19):
walking this thing, but it's not fulfilling. So I think
purpose ties in with fulfillment and also sacrifice. So purpose
is finding that thing that like where you are sacrificing,
but the sacrifice is worth it. It's a challenge, it's rough,
it's a struggle, but it's only something that you can
(05:42):
understand and you are willing to walk through and go
through because.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
It's meant and made for you.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Yeah. Yeah, at the end of the day, is finding
the thing that that gives you the most identity. I
think a lot of people struggle with that though. I
think we struggle with knowing what's real and what's not.
And because as obviously our social like the pressures and structure,
we think that the thing that we have to do
is the thing that's most approved. So what people look
(06:09):
at us do it you say you're doing the right thing,
and that's like the thing. I mean, I feel like
that comes from everyone, like from family members, from friends,
from just society in general. But we look at things
to say that this is what we're supposed.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
To be at and it doesn't fulfill us absolutely. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
I mean I'm a teacher and a coach, coach volleyball,
teach on high school and you know, one of the
big things I said when we were just talking about
like approval to all the kids, like, don't do it
for approval.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
Do it for a purpose.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
So I know you shared it in like previous episodes
of you know, one person clapping right, going to do
it for you and ain't going to pay the bills
like you said, and it's true, it's very true. But
when we're able to find that identity within ourselves and
really tap into it and understand and like be okay
with who we are at the end of the day, yeah,
And that was a big thing for me because there's
(06:56):
so much of that like hey, you should do this,
you should do this, you should do this, and inside
I was like, well I kind of want to do this.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
And so now finally being in that spot where I'm like, no,
I know who I am, I know where I want
to be. I know it's good for me, and I'm
gonna go do it.
Speaker 3 (07:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Yeah, because at the end of the day, that's like
like that classic saying, no one is going to die
your death, no one's going to live your life. You
have to do the things that you love because you
love them.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
And that's the reality.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
I mean that's purpose and it's cool, I know, like
for for you specifically from expressily the faith life, you
had a different path before, that's right, what's that story like?
Speaker 3 (07:31):
Like what was that?
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Because that's a mountain, right, So that's like the premise
of this mounted what's the.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
Thing that for you?
Speaker 1 (07:37):
Seems like it was not not conquerable or difficult, but
it became something that you like overcame. So not that
your vocation is something you have to overcome, right, something
you have to live through and that's something you have
to be in. So in all fairness though, we already
to take a quick commercial break, so that's the only
thing real listening. First of all, thank you so much
for being a part of this podcast. I think some
(07:58):
really interesting conversation is going to have been after this.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
Really really quick break, and we'll see you in.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
A quick minute. Think you for coming back. It's really simple.
Sometimes you just got to listen. So we were talking
about you and your purpose and your your vocation story.
I know obviously it's always a very interesting one because
the certainly the priesthood and things like that and thinking
religious life was for you, what is that? What is
that mountain like for you? Now and like from that premise, yeah, I.
Speaker 4 (08:23):
Mean when I was nineteen years old, I was a
student at Sunni Maritime College in the Bronx So Sudden,
studying naval architecture engineering, and I was getting ready architecture.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Yeah wait, wait what So I wanted to build ships
and make boat loads of money. That's the way I
like to say.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
The naval architecture engineering. That's like a tongue twister.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
I wanted to build boats and ships and like sea
crafts and things like that. I remember I was watching
TV one day. It was like HGTV, like million dollar yachts.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
Or something like that. I just to build that. Yeah.
This person put mirrors on the bottom of their boat
and for the fish. Legit.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
They were like why why do you have mirrors on
your boat. He's like, I'll want the fish to see himself.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
And I was like, that guy, he's got too much money.
I wanted some of that and I will build it
for him, want them to see what they could be. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
So I was like, that's that's like a pretty cool
thing to build ships. Like somebody's got to build that,
somebody's got to design it. And I always enjoyed drawing,
and I would, you know, try to build things. I
love skateboarding, rollerblade and growing up.
Speaker 3 (09:27):
So I like build ramps and things like that. So
of course it goes hand.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
In hand, right wants I mean, there's a song out there,
but will fare but we won't quothe it.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
But yeah, that's right, that's right. Uh and John c
Riley h and Andre Pacelli.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
So I think it was part of that yeah weird
lead enough, Yeah, but uh yeah. So I was getting
ready to ship out for a summer seat term. I
was gonna be gone for sixty days, and right before.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
I left, I went out to Hollingship.
Speaker 4 (09:52):
My mom.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
She was like, what are you gonna do if you
don't like being out on the ship, And I was like,
oh my gosh. And right then and there, I was like,
I have no idea what you want to let me
have no idea what I'm going to be doing.
Speaker 5 (10:05):
With my life, but if you want to let me know,
I'm listening. I have no idea what you want me
to do with my life, but if you want to
let me know, I'm listening. And right then and there,
in the moment it's sitting in a diner, I felt
that words Steve, and you have a vocation, And I
felt like that was something that I was avoiding for
such a long time. And I was like, no, not me,
not now, not here, I'm not ready. But finally I
was like, had to surrender. I had to give in.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
So I went out on the ship for two months.
It was an amazing experience, but I realized it was
not for me. Like the number one thing I loved
was the camaraderie. I like being with the people.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
I love the community.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
But to know that that was like what life was
going to be like but with way way way less people,
was really not for me.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
So when I came back, I withdrew from the school.
I entered the Formation program with the Solusions of Don
Bosco uh and I was a product of Solusions.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
Schools, so I knew I knew the community.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
I knew their like pedagogy, I knew their charism and style.
But when I got to actually like really spend time
with them to see what DAILI life looked like, I
was like, wow, I could really see myself here. So
I thought my path, that my purpose was for the priesthood.
But it was a long process. It's eleven years. Yeah,
and I discerned seven seven years to the thing that's
like at the end already.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
So it was a long period of time and during
that time I was able to do like amazing things,
incredible things, meet amazing people. But I feel like I
developed vocations within the vocation while I was going so
like filling the call, within the call of these other
routes and paths where I was finding purpose, where I
was finding fulfillment and finding joy, and if I had
to take those pieces away, and at the end of
(11:37):
the day, I was left with like religious life and
not saying that it's like not nothing but your call
to religious life to be a part of religious life.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
And it's like being called to be a doctor.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
And then you're like, listen, student surgery, performing surgery is great,
but I really like hanging out with my office staff
more like I don't know if that makes sense, but
really what I was finding is that my joy wasn't
necessarily coming from within the community, but from external places
and sources.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
So that was always in the back of my mind.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
And I was getting involved in ministry in different ways,
like doing retreats and concerts and got to meet you You're.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
Playing the cahone one day and who's this guy coming?
Speaker 4 (12:19):
Right?
Speaker 3 (12:20):
And that's an organatic story. The rest is history friendship
at first or work sight, No, but it was.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
It was such an amazing experience, and uh, you know,
I discerned out and continued working full time with the ministry,
and in that like I met my wife, she was
a part of the ministry as well, and everything kind
of just flowed naturally, and like I felt that like
that purpose, that fulfillment, the validation, like yes, this is
who I am, this home called to be.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
But even in that, like it changes and.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Like relationships change and grow and move and shift and whatnot.
But really like kind of overcoming that mountain of what
that experience of religious life was like. It was tough
because it's like they lay the path out for you
pretty much. You just have to be willing to discern
it and walk it. And for me, I feel like
(13:14):
I would have been like a grumpy, burnt out, like shortchanged,
like old man, like living that life because it would
have been it would have been so easy and so
laid out that I really have to do much for it.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
But I knew that that's not what I was called
to do or who I was called to be.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
So do you think that finding purpose and that was.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
That was a part of it?
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Like going through what you had to go through and
thinking that you wanted to be there, but they're realizing
that that that's not It was.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
That like a part of the purpose story or was
I like.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
You know, just a side quest?
Speaker 3 (13:50):
One hundred percent. I don't feel it was a side
quest whatsoever.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
I really think that going through and experiencing the highs
and the lows, the ups and downs and everything in between,
it's all a part of my story makes it even
better for me to relate to people and connect with
people and to kind of bridge that gap of like
no I was I was in those shoes, I was
living like in that world.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
That was a part of that life.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
So to understand kind of like the ebbs and flows
of what it means to discern and like just because
you think about being a priest as oh you're gonna
be a priest bang, or you're thinking about becoming a
sister and living in a comment or religious life or
whatever the case is, whatever the ministry is, boom, you're
it right away. But it takes time, and thank god,
it takes time, because otherwise if it was a short
(14:34):
period of time, people are the wrong thing. Yeah, we'll
be like, oh my gosh, what am I doing here?
Speaker 1 (14:38):
It wasn't eleven, it was six, you might have done it,
like you know what I'm in here.
Speaker 3 (14:43):
I'm permitted, it's already yeah. Yeah. But I don't think
that's like a life lesson.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Like sometimes we have seasons where we think that this
is the thing that I need to be in and
it's not like it's just one of those things that
it so a lot of struggles that I hear, a
lot of questions that I always have. It is like relationships,
Like that's one of a big, big takeaway for some reason.
We're all miserable people for something. But one thing that
I realized is that people think that seasons equate their
life to light, like the whole life, like that whole story,
(15:08):
and it's not.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
It's a seasoned Yeah. They say like, oh my gosh,
it's over, So this is it. I've reached the end.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
I can't do this anymore. Yeah, But really that's that's
the fear creeping in. Yeah, And but the distractions taking
you away from what that purpose is. And I thought
about that for a while, Yeah, I was like, was
I like misled or did I like did I like
quit too soon? But ultimately like the peace I've had
just in reflecting and discerning continually, like no, thank God,
(15:35):
I made the right decision, moved at the right time,
did the right things that I needed to to just
keep moving in my life, and where I felt that
I was being called to within that call to say, Okay,
well this isn't it like there's like a split in
the road and saying Okay, you've been traveling this road
and it was looking really good and you were finding
fulfillment your purpose. However it's shifting and it's changing.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
Yeah, and that's okay.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
Yeah, And I think I mean, and not just in
the sense of like pre there's a bit that like
those deep discernment things, but I think some people like
we'll look at that and it will think, well, what's
that for me? I mean, I think it's important understand
that there's seasons for everything for everyone. So for you
in that case, was a season of discernment and learning something,
because it's not like you went through it and didn't
(16:18):
take anything with you. It was a season of picking
things up and sometimes there's stages where we need to
learn things that later on that hurt now to do,
but later on have so much benefit. Like it's knowing
that this thing that I went through in this moment,
it hurts right now, it hurts to think that I
have to leave or have to separate or have to
cut away, but later on it's going to build something
(16:39):
amazing in you because obviously there's something you took from
that that are beneficial now. And your current vocation, which
is marriage, was as a father, which is a husband,
which is a son, all these things that you are,
And what do you think would be the biggest tool
that you took in there? Like what was the thing
that seemed like it didn't make sense? But now in
(17:00):
the location you're in, that's something that you brought with you.
It's like a deep question. Yeah, that's a great question.
Speaker 3 (17:05):
What you What did you take?
Speaker 1 (17:07):
That a better way of phrase it, what did you
take with you?
Speaker 2 (17:10):
I think what I took with me was learning how
to live with other people and learning how to like
navigate life with other people.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
And also like.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
Just straight up discerning of like is this is this
really what I want to be doing? Is this really
where I want to be at and being honest with
yourself of trying to ask those questions. I think I
think that skill has has helped me in my professional
career as like a teacher and as a coach and
the different things that I've done ministry wise, of like
(17:50):
just being able to relate with people, finding empathy, finding
common ground, being able to communicate invitation, things along those lines.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
Yeah, I mean, I think that's also a hard part,
especially with marriage, Like I don't think people realize how
hard it is to coexist. Like one thing, it's like, Okay,
we're married with.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
Together, but we have to live together.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Like we got to figure out what they used to
leave you alone? Would they speak to you? Would they
said not do this thing? And I think that's something
that So I have the privilege that I get to
talk to a lot of people about a lot of things,
and sometimes too many people have too many questions and
I can't address everybody at the same time. But I
do think one of the questions too, with questions that
I've forgotten one it's the sense of like heally and
(18:31):
attaching when it comes to like leaving a marriage or
a relationship, which I'm Obviously, I'm I'm very pro marriage,
pro living that out. But I do understand that different
people have different scenarios, and I do think that the
sermon is a struggle that a lot of people didn't
They didn't discern the person they were with, They didn't pray,
they didn't think, they didn't sit there and actually analyze.
(18:52):
They responded from a point of emotion. So now they're
struggling with that same lack of emotions. So they're dealing
with something that they didn't actually preak through and now
they realize that they can't live with this person. Like
that's that's a big issue for a lot of people.
When he comes to this conversation, it's more like how
do I get away from this thing? And I think
(19:13):
that the obviously different people different situations, but I think
the first thing we should always go to is how
do I deal with other people before I get into
this situation, like before I get into this marriage. Obviously
discernment is a huge component of that, but it's understanding
that the concept of how do I normally deal with people?
(19:34):
Do you think it's different when people dive into marriages
or to relationships opposed to like living with people that
you're friendly with, like your friends. So obviously let's worry
that a little nicer last thing I needs Emily have
stabbed me.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
How do we deal with a person because obviously.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
You're coming from a perspective of dealing with like friends
and brothers and all this into dealing with marriage with.
Speaker 3 (19:56):
A huge, huge, huge shift. Marriage is a huge sacrifice.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
I mean, obviously pre should to be a huge sacrifice itself,
but that vocation of marriage is an even bigger sacrifice
because it's no longer just my problems, our problem.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
So how do you.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Shift from from one proponent to the other? Like, do
you think that that was a drastic shift between dealing
with these kind of people versus dealing with this person?
Speaker 2 (20:19):
I mean, what I feel and what I think is
that there is a sense of love. And what I
felt when I was discerning in religious life was like
I don't want to be told that I have to
love people, and I don't want to tell people, no,
you got to love me. But when you meet somebody
who loves you, truly, deeply cares for you, it makes
(20:43):
it known. In the small ways, it makes it that
much more special, exciting, different, deep, true, authentic so I
think that that's such a big difference. But what I
would also add and specifically for me and learning how
to communicate with people and deal with people, one of
the biggest things recently that I had to learn and
(21:04):
understand is how.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
To communicate with myself and how to.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
Like really like who am I and digging into that
and like understanding like what are my emotions, what am
I feeling? How am I feeling? How can I communicate
this properly? And knowing that I'm loved and that I'm
cared for and that my wife wants to hear this
from me and genuinely cares about it because like her
will being is attached to my well being, My well
(21:33):
being is attached to her well being. Our well being
is attached to like our child's well being. So having true,
authentic like communication and being able to express everything is
the key.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
To making things work and making things.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
You know, last be aware of you is a huge component.
And we'll actually talk a little bit more about that
after this commercial break. So yeah, talking about that specifically
as right back into this, This is a reality that
that's actually huge. I think so many people neglect themselves,
Like I know, how hard, like again, this is there
(22:15):
is I said this often. There's no person that's perfect.
I'm far, far, far from perfect. I don't have everybody
figured out, but I do feel like I have a
good perspective on things and I'm able to offer these
things and things that I need to work on myself
that I know a lot of people struggle with is
being able to speak to you, like allow people to
help you, to love you, to care for you, but
(22:35):
also being able to identify those things in you, like
being able to say, hey, I need to work more
on X, Y and Z, like this thing that I'm
struggling with, like speaking to me or letting me know
that that's a huge struggle. I think that's huge, not
just a hill, it's a mountain for sure. A lot
of people it's like we don't allow ourselves to be
(22:56):
loved one like that's the first first complinent when when
you're used to being give her is very hard for
you to receive. And I know I've struggled out myself
like that, the reality of I'm very good at doing,
but I'm very very hard at receiving. I tell a
story often like my aunt trying to throw a surprise
party for me once.
Speaker 3 (23:14):
I think you were here for that help.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
Yeah, that's She's like, oh, yeah, we're just said at
five thirty.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
But I'm Dominigrand, but I'm not like by the rest
of my family.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
I'm like punctual, Like I show up, you said five thirty,
I'm here at five. So I was here at five
and she was putting out chairs and I helped her.
Speaker 3 (23:28):
Yeah, but I know your did.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
This is not really a party. I mean, I'm here
for it, but this is a reality where we were
at least I know this.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
I'm very aware of this. I struggle at.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
Letting people do things for me because I'm so used
to doing things for other people. Now shifting that into
the fatherhood, the husband and that component, what does that
look like for you, like letting people do things for you.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
So the thing of like letting people do things for me.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
Is I think it's different because a part of my
personality when I was younger and when I was developing
growing up was I was very much like a taker.
Thing like handed to me, I'm not going to do
much work for it if I have to work too hard,
and I'm not really going to go for it. It was, Yeah,
(24:20):
it wasn't a good spot to be yet, like wasn't
a healthy place to be in of just like waiting
for things to just come to me and sit there
and not work for it and not feel the struggle
or not know the struggle or not know what other
people are going through and not having that like emotional
IQ to say, hmm, maybe that like what I'm doing
(24:44):
is different or like not everybody has this experience or
I don't understand that person's experience. So I think it's
really like challenged me to develop that emotional IQ to
real understand where someone is coming from into like.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
Really really learn.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
Humility, and that is that's a big thing. That's a
big thing for me of like learning humility because I
was not a humble person. It was just like I
thought that I was like the greatest, the best, and
I learned that like I wasn't.
Speaker 3 (25:22):
What I did learn is that I'm loved and my
wife loves me.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
Even though I'm not the greatest, even though I'm not
the best, and that's what makes me like love her
all the more and what makes me like tap in,
as I say, humbly, tap tap into the humility so
that my wife can love me like in our challenges,
in our difficulties, so that we can rejoice together, so
(25:48):
we can cry together, so that we can experience life
together in all the beautiful ways that we can and
the challenging ways that we can as well. So just
I think in that sense of giving, it's and for
me to receive the help as well. You know, I'm
definitely in a place of like knowing how to receive
the help and who to receive help from.
Speaker 3 (26:10):
Yeah, is a big key. Yeah. I mean that's beautiful.
Though it's understanding.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
That that this is a reciprocity thing. So I love
for you, love me too, and it's not just I
do for you or you do for me, but we
do for us. And that's the reality of it. That's
what a healthy relationship should look like. There is no
such thing as a perfect relationship, to be clear, there
is absolutely that doesn't exist.
Speaker 3 (26:32):
That's that's in it.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
The only perfect relationship is like between you and God,
like that's about it. That's because he's perfect, not because
of you. But there's those things that but there is
a reality of a relationship that has genuine reciprocity. So
we both desire this and even though we will have
friction and we'll have with bop heads. It's just a
desire to love each other fully and that that's the
reality of it. At giving ourselves this this freedom to
(26:57):
not be perfect but still to be loved. I think
that's the hard thing to find. And when you find
that that's genuine, that's the reality of it all.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
For sure.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
That was such a difficult thing of like wanting to
pursue perfection and to to like hide imperfection. Yeah, but
say like like no, like share that with me, should
with me?
Speaker 3 (27:19):
I want to. I want to love you.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
I want to be there for you and and be
a shoulder, cry on, be the courage, be the support,
lift you up, call you out when you're saying and
act in certain ways so that you can.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
Hear and know like, hey, this isn't helpful. Yeah, yeah,
that's what. That's what any genuine relationship is, not even
just romantic like even platonically. For sure, our family, it's
just like you're able to tell me, hey, this is
where I'm wrong, but I still love you in it.
But let's correct it, let's fix it, let's change that thing.
Speaker 3 (27:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
I think that's that's that's one of the hardest components
of it. But we talked about purpose and on this podcast.
I mean, we know how much time left, but just
this reality that purpose is something that we need to
learn to attack to us and not to our exterior things.
You mentioned your your volleyball team and you said to
live what was it on purpose?
Speaker 3 (28:07):
A purpose? Yeah, don't do it for approval, do it
for a purpose? What does that mean to you? Like,
was that was that phrase? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (28:15):
So I initially started it when my guys are doing
serving drills, and if you serve the ball for volleyball,
you serve it into the net, you lose your rotation,
the ball goes the other team, they get a free
point and they get the ball and then they serve.
So in practice I was putting consequences on it. And
when they would serve into the net, all right, guys,
ten pushups, five laps.
Speaker 3 (28:36):
Whatever it was.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
And so after they got a serf, they'd be like, coach,
you saw that, you saw I got it over And
I said, don't do it for my approval. Because when
you're in the game, you're working with the team, you're
working for a goal, which is to win your set.
That you can go and win the match, go win
the next match, win the game. So don't do it
for approval. Do it for a purpose, like you're not
(28:58):
you're not doing your task or doing that thing that
you know is going to help you reach your goal.
So that you could take that step and then look
back behind you or onto the sideline and say to somebody.
Speaker 3 (29:07):
Like, did you see what I did? I did it right, I.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
Finally got it. Like I'm not here to clap my
hands for you. I'm here to say, yeah, that's what
you're supposed to do. Keep moving, keep going.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
So do it for a purpose.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
I got to get that ball over the other side
of the net so that my guys were blockers can
go and do their job. My defenders can make sure
they're gonna dig the ball and get it up, and
my steter can make a play, and my hitters are
gonna swing. So the purpose of what you do is
not necessarily going to win the point off the bat
like you shouldn't be up the line say I'm gonna
get an ace. I'm going to be the one to
get the point. But we're going to keep this rally alive,
(29:39):
and I'm going to work with the people around me
to work for the common goal, which is to get
the point, which is to win the game, which is
to win the match.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
Yeah, because at the end of the day, it's like,
what's the point of showing off if you're just said
that going to be successful. Yeah, you could say all
you want to say, nothing's going to change. So that's
that truth.
Speaker 3 (29:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
No, I from the girth obviously, because that's something I
say often. It's if you was if you live for
the applause of the crowd, you die for the lack
there of if you think that people need to prove
And this is the sad reality that we live in
a world that we're it's easier to talk about people
than it is to encourage them. We have this culture
of I want to judge and drag and this is
(30:18):
not an episode for it.
Speaker 3 (30:19):
We don't have enough time for it.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
I could sit here and just talk about the reality
of other things I've gone through with my life. I
wouldn't even call them situations. My life is a gift.
But where I've been the conversation topic of people, which
I've learned in the hardest way, that is actually a compliment.
When you are the topic, it means that you are
interesting enough to speak about and what people have all
(30:44):
these things to say about you, but it is not
the episode for it. But if you live for the
applause of the people.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
You die for the lack thereof.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
That's that same concept.
Speaker 3 (30:52):
We don't have a purpose.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
If you live for applause, not for a purpose, it's
not gonna be beneficial. Just thank you first of all
for sharing your story with us. I think that's always interesting.
Speaker 3 (31:02):
I know, I know.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
Again, everyone has different walks, and there are some people
believe some people that don't. You're far off or close
by or I appreciate this component of my demographic of people,
of people who are walking with this podcast that they're
not like just cookie cutter Christians or Catholic or there's
people here.
Speaker 3 (31:22):
Who I've seen those.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
Also, one thing I really appreciate like social media.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
Social media.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
This is awesome too because it shows me all these
other things. But there are people on my platforms that
completely don't believe in God at all. There are people
that are far, far far away, and there are people
that are like super super Christian, and I appreciate the
fact that they all have something in common with these
things over me as I was a big thing. But
I do know vocations for some people is a big
part of their story or questions or things that they have,
(31:48):
and I appreciate you sharing that with us. I think
it's definitely different. I appreciate you being.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
The first episode. I think that's with another person.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
Rather, it's just fitting because okay, we.
Speaker 3 (31:59):
Only have a couple second so i'll those real quick.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
The reason if you're listening, if you stayed.
Speaker 3 (32:03):
Till this whole time, you're gonna get some interesting insight.
Like the reason I.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
Started doing social media was when we started doing that
company thing with that we're trying to reach out and
whatever life is life, and there was like it was
it seemed like a really good idea, but it was
really hard to execute with how busy we both are,
let alone trying to like live a family and all
these things. So I was like, well, I can't tell people.
I can show them that we could do this for
(32:27):
them if I can't do it for myself. This right
that was the catalyst behind me growing my social media
and then I saw how impactful it was for people.
So I was like, oh, now I got to do
this and then praise God for tiktokuse TikTok started taking
care of me and I was like, wait, I could
do this, and then lost the short. We did that
and we ended up having a podcasts that we're here now.
(32:48):
But there's a purpose behind everything, even if you're not.
Speaker 3 (32:51):
Aware of it. Absolutely, that was my takeaway there.
Speaker 1 (32:55):
Yeah, but Steve, my brother, thank you so much for
being on this podcast. Thank you for being uh just
you just.
Speaker 3 (33:00):
Seriously Mike's away.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
I'm so grateful for your your brotherhood's who you are.
And yeah, is there Eddie last message you'd like to
share it before we sign off.
Speaker 3 (33:11):
I just want to say thank you.
Speaker 2 (33:12):
I'm grateful for your brotherhood, your friendship. I'm always there,
always answering the call, no matter what time of day
it is or night.
Speaker 3 (33:19):
And for those listening, you know, uh, he's a real dude.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
He's a real guy. He means what he says, he
says what he means. He's not doing it for approval,
he's not doing it for applause.
Speaker 3 (33:28):
He's a real deal.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
And uh, no matter what part of life you're in,
whether you're at the beginning, the middle of the end,
if you're on a clear beach or there's a crazy
storm around you. There's a purpose, there's a purpose.
Speaker 3 (33:42):
And there's a reason why you are in what you're.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
In and what you're going through, and you've got to
stay like stay the stay the what's the word, stay
the course, Stay the course, stay the course. If you're
on that ship and the storm is crazy, the sun
will come back out, the rain will subside, the waves
will subside. You it's crazy. You've got to respond to
what's happening, but keep pushing, keep fighting, as there's a
(34:06):
purpose for what you're going through.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
Yeah, there's purpose in the pain, so the slogan there.
So thank you guys for listening, thank you for being
on this podcast episode, and we'll hear you on the
next one.
Speaker 3 (34:16):
Take care
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