July 10, 2025 • 29 mins
What if success wasn’t about achieving but about believing?
In this deeply inspiring episode with Joshua Rosa, we explore how your personal story holds the key to lasting confidence, inner peace, and real fulfillment. Whether you’ve faced heartbreak, rejection, or self-doubt… your story isn’t broken it’s being written.
Featuring the powerful story of Mother Teresa and U.S. Senator Mark Hatfield, we dig into what it really means to be faithful in your journey even when the odds seem stacked against you.
- How your story shapes your identity
- Why vulnerability is your secret weapon in building real confidence
- Healing from the identity wound and generational trauma
- Reclaiming power from people who never earned it
- Why storytelling is a survival tool AND a gift to the world
“You’re not called to be successful. You’re called to be faithful.”
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The reality is that we talk ourselves out of the
possibility of things, like we are easy to be hard
on us, but really difficult to trust us, right to
trust ourselves with things, because we undermine the ability and
the talent that we actually have. This is made for
this mountain with Josh Rosa or turning pain into purpose.
The truth is that your story is going to be
one of the greatest things that you will ever tell,
(00:20):
one of the most powerful things that you ever use.
The most powerful too, in everything, in every aspect of
a relationship, every business negotiation, everything you dive into your
story will have so much power. But knowing and owning
it are two completely different things. Like people know what
they've been through, they know the lives that they lived,
and they either become the thing that they're afraid of
or they make this the catalyst as to why they're
(00:41):
going to be successful. One of the greatest stories I've
ever heard about success is actually from Saint to Reese
of Calcutta, and there's a story of the senator who
he went up to meet with her. He was looking around,
he can see the facilities, he can see everything he
was doing, and he was looking at this and asked her,
It's like, how is it that they are successful? Like,
how is it you plan to be successful in such
terrible conditions? And she responded in the most profound way ever,
(01:04):
she said, I'm not called to be successful.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
I'm called to be faithful.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
And I think a lot of us lose sight of
the fact that we're called to be faithful, one of
us ultimately to God, but ultimately also to the things
that we are called to be in, the things that
we're gifted at, the talent, the ability, the things that
are in you already you're called to be faithful to that.
But we are more faithful to lies than we are
to the truth. We are more faithful to the things
around us than what's in us, and we think that
(01:27):
those things dictate.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Every aspect of us.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Now, obviously this clearly is closer to her faith, right,
It's closer and indicated to what she's lived through, who
she is, and what she believes. But this is just
the truth for everybody that you are called to be
faithful to what's good for you, what's going to be
serviceful and purposeful for you, And you are more faithful
to the lie about you than the truth about you.
And until we learn that we need to be faithful
(01:51):
to every aspect of us before anything else, We're going
to keep falling into that trap. We're going to keep
falling into this. I'm not capable, I'm not able. This
is my life isn't purposeful. We'll keep falling into the
lies of everything else except for who we actually are.
The greatest thing you will ever own is your story.
Like it's knowing that you have what you have and
dictating what happens next. It's not allowing the things that
(02:12):
have been said or done to you to dictate the
next things in your life. Because we create this mountain
where we trap ourselves on the bottom of it because
we think we can't overcome what's been there. And I
need you to understand that the most powerful thing, the
most impactful thing, the thing that will get the most
people to be who they need to be in your life,
will be how you tell your story, like being how
(02:32):
you know what happened next. And I think that's such
a beautiful reality. Knowing that the thing that you are
able to come out of this place that was dark
and not seen and just lost that thing. It's beautiful
to know that there's something so much powerful after that,
Like you're able to achieve this next stage and you're
able to tell this reality of what was done to
you or where you were and where you are now.
(02:54):
And that can only happen if you own it, if
you own the story that you're in. So no one
has a thing over your life that you haven't given
to them. I think that's such a profound takeaway. I know,
I know it sounds like almost cliche and kind of
a basic thing to say, but the reality is that
no one has authority that you haven't given them. And yes,
I get it, I get it. Sometimes it's hard to
(03:14):
reclaim that authority, but you are still giving them power.
And there's so many.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Facets to this.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
There's people in your past that have done things to you,
and because of those things, you've made that The point
of contention is why you don't do anything as so?
Why you don't change us? So, why you don't date
as so? Why do you relate to things as why
do you don't move? I know, I'm not saying that
it's easy to move, I'm not saying that it's easy
to change. I'm saying that at some point we need
to regain power or we continue to give it. It's
(03:40):
either we stand up for what's real, or we continue to.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Allow the people to dictate what we do.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
There is power in knowing that the power is yours,
Like knowing that you have this authority that you can
tell people today at this very moment, that you're no
longer going to give into that, or you don't even
have to say anything. You just simply have to stop
doing the things that you're allowing them to continue to do.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
In your life.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
There is reclaiming and knowing that who brings you value
and who's robbing you of it, And knowing that the
people around you are they actually beneficial to the life
that you desire to live or they're just robbing you
of the life that you're currently in. You become this
beacon of possibility and what others might see amountain knowing
that you were in this thing, and you went through
this thing, and you grew and you were able to
(04:21):
be where you are now. There is so much power
in understanding that you have the authority to give authority
to other people. You also have the authority to take
that away from other people. No one can do anything
to you for you around you or towards you that
isn't within the authority that you have allowed. Now again,
people might do things right in efforts to get your attention.
But what you give power to, what you give attention to,
(04:43):
what you give the freedom to, those things then take that.
And we have to be able to see this and
know that it's not theirs, that it's ours. The power
is ours. So when we talk about your story and
as we develop this and as we open up with
this reality, first first know that authority and power is
always coming from you. Every relationship, every conversation, everything, even
(05:06):
if it feels like they have the power dynamic, even
if it feels like the things that they have done have.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Caused you this ripple. When we are able to look
at those.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Things and stop giving it the power that it's taking,
then we're able to regain.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Power over it.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
I know it sounds like a word salad here, so
I don't want to break that down for you, because
sometimes we get so caught up in what was said
or done that we don't live anywhere else. Right, We
stay trapped in a chapter of our lives. And when
you look at that scope, the only way that you
ever move from that is by not continuing to make
that thing the center point of everything you do. So
(05:42):
in a practical sense, let's take the example school. Right,
you felt like you were never good enough, You felt
like you never had the appropriate grades, that you never
lived up to what your potentially your actual potential, and
for that reason, you're afraid to move into anything.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
That's going to cost you this.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
But there is this power and understanding that in one
moment you felt that way, but now you're able to
see that from a different perspective and grow through that
particular thing. You're able to go back into it and say, well,
I knew I couldn't then, but I know I can now.
I know that the power I have is being taken
back because I'm not that person. I'm not in that place,
I'm not in that situation, I'm not in that time frame.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
I'm here.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
And being able to regain that power is knowing that
the authority is ultimately going to be yours, knowing that
you have that grasp over So your story isn't just
bold and exciting, it's important. And I think we lose
sight of the fact that the things that we've gone through,
the places that we've been in, that they are not
just things that have happened to us. They're a big
portion of our life and that yes, there are things
(06:39):
that we live through, but they're not things that should
continue to live in us. They're not things that should
own and control and be manipulative of every action we
take in this They are so important, they're so good
because they are a part of what you're becoming now.
And actually this worst part, the worst things that you've
ever lived, even those things have such beauty behind them
because they you ate this character that you're in now.
(07:01):
And we'll talk a little bit more about.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
This after this quick break.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
So your story is bold, it's exciting, it's important because
all the people that will hear it. And I know
that a lot of people think that they don't have
these good stories or this over glorious thing or this
purposeful thing. But I promise see that in some point,
at some part of your life, there is something that
someone needed. And if you are authentically who you are
called to be in this point of your life or
(07:26):
as you grow through, then that thing that you went
through will now not just help you build that character,
not just help you become this full person of who
you are now, but it will also help that person
that didn't know that they needed that help. It'll also
be that thing that this particular person that was struggling
with when they hear your story, when they hear what
you did next, when they hear the success that you
had in it because you chose to follow you and
(07:48):
not what's been done to you, that thing will be
a catalyst for them. That'll be the light on the
mountain top. That'll be that part of the mountain that
they're in struggling, but they see that you're up there,
and that's going to be the thing that's gonna help them.
It's just so beautiful to know that there's something that
you've gone through that might have hurt that for somebody
else is gonna help heal. It's the reality that this
is something that's just going to be a major stone
(08:11):
as to what you've done for other people because the
reality is that we need each other. But in this concept,
you need you, Your future needs you, your president needs you.
The people that you're encountering, and the people that you
will meet in life, your family, your kids, all these
people will need the story of your life and the
thing that you were afraid to go through the thing
that you've made a stumbling block thing that part of
(08:33):
the story is so important, and I mentioned this in
the very first episode. I feel like us I kind
of revert to a lot of these things. I think
it's just so so much importance to understand that our
story has power, and our stories matter, and the things
that we say and the things.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
That we do, whether we give it authority.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Or not, those things are still a part of everything,
and they're still a part of the things that are
making us us. Now, it's just making sure that those
things are not the things that.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Control every aspect. Right.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
They add right, They're part of the character building, They're
a part of the development, they're part of the growth,
they're part of the beauty. But they shouldn't be the
thing that drives the boat. They shouldn't be the thing
that you always revert to. We get stuck in the
things that have been said or done to us because
we think that those things are who we are. And
it need you to break that lie. You are not
the things that have happened to you. You're not the
things that have been said about you. You are the
person that chose to see those things and not go
(09:23):
back to them. You're the one that chose to break
the cycles to create this person that would help other people.
The reality is that your story, this is not your brokenness.
It's who you were before and who you are after.
Like the story of you outside of the bad relationships,
or outside of the broken marriages, or outside of the
broken family dynamics, or outside of the outside of all
(09:44):
the things that just completely lie to you, those things,
Despite those things, you are who you are. And I
need you as you hear this. I don't know what
state in your life you're going. I don't know if
you're struggling to believe that you're capable or not. But
no matter who you are, no matter where we tend
to revert to the thing that's safe, Like we tend
to go back to the thing that seems familiar. And
(10:06):
even if that thing that seems familiar is painful, it's
the most safe thing for us because the level of
toxicity that we know, that that's saying, the demon that
you know, the demon that you understand, the devil that
you know, it's easier to go back to the thing
that hurts you or stay in the state of the
thing that you've been hurt in because you know that place.
But I need you to dream like I needed to
understand that you were made for that thing that you're
(10:27):
afraid to do, for that next step, the next stage,
that next person that you're becoming, because you were not
made to stay in that struggle. And I've met so
many amazing, beautiful people in this world who have limited themselves,
who have literally just killed different aspects of potential of
good in their life because they've stayed in things that
have been said or done to them in their past.
(10:48):
And again I'm I'm not minimizing the effort and the
work that it takes to grow from those things. But
at some point we have to stop making the excuse
that I've been hurt so bad that I can't heal
because you did nothing to heal. You stayed in a
place in the time and the struggle that you were
in thinking that that particular thing is all you are,
and it robs you of the story. The story isn't
(11:09):
done right. They're still building, we're still growing, but we
can't build and grow if we remain under the rubble.
You can't continue to stay in destroyed place and say
that this thing is it because there's never going to
be any moment of change. There's never going to be
a moment of growth. I think when we identify with
our wound, and I'm going to dive into that a
(11:29):
little bit deeper because there's a lot there. But when
we identify with our wound, we think that our wounds
are what we are like when we look at the
things that have been done or said to us and
we think, yeah, no, this is who I am, this
broken person, this lost person. When we identify with those things,
we begin to minimize any effort that we could ever make,
We stop anything from growing or happening, because we think
that that is who I am. There is no world,
(11:52):
there's no place, there's no time where you pretending to
this hurt you, this person that was hurt by and
someone else pretending to be that person. Right, And I
say pretending because you are not that person. You are
not the person that that was made to feel like
they're nothing. You're not the person that was made to
belittle You're not the person that's meant to be in
these flawed states. That's just not who you are. But
you are pretending to be this because someone's convinced you
(12:13):
of it, and sometimes that someone is you the thing.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
That you've struggled with.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
You've lowed yourself to be so masked by it that
you think that this is what you look in the mirror,
and that's who you see, this perspective, this view from
this wound, that it becomes the only thing you are.
And again, I feel like this has been like a
thread for the last three episodes where we've talked about
the pig million effect. We've talked about it from a
successful side, we've talked about it from the unsuccessful side.
(12:39):
But now I want to kind of talk about this
to the wounds, because sometimes the way the lens that
we see the world is to the lens of the
things that have happened to us. So we believe that
we are because of the things that have been done.
We think that we're going to stay in this place
because somebody has treated me this way. And I need
you to understand that there is no person that should
have that much authority. Going back to that first point,
the reality is that we give authority the situation because
(13:00):
it's easier to dismiss it on that than it is
to take responsibility for it.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
It's hard to be.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Accountable for ourselves, let alone, for things that have been
done to us, so we don't change because our accountability
isn't rooted in us, it's rooted in them. We tend
to say, oh, well someone said to me, or someone
did this, or someone limited me in this place, and
because of that you say, well, that's their fault and
I can't do this. No, they're not Yes, they might
have caused the wound, but they're not responsible for your healing.
(13:26):
They're not responsible for your change, not responsible for your things.
We see this so often with the parental wounds, right,
we think that we're limited by our healthy relationships based
on the poor ones that we've had. We stop ourselves
from being fully joyful and fully us because we think
that that's what we're limited to. That's that's our wall,
that's the border. I need you to challenge that, right,
(13:46):
I need you to challenge that core wound. I need
you to challenge that thing that has been ingrained and
it's almost subconsciously just there, just this this feeling of
inadequacy or negative like self thought or all these things
that aren't tangible that there are in our minds that
are so deeply embedded that we have identified ourselves with them,
and whether we're aware of that or not, whether it's
(14:07):
again conscious or subconscious, we can't continue to identify with
those wounds and then wonder why we don't change. I
need you to identify those things and do something towards them,
because we can't just let these things be dormant and
then expect for them to leave. They won't.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
They're comfortable.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Your wounds have made home there, so your story now
becomes under that wound instead of out of that wounds.
And there's alose beautiful imagery at Tupac actually had a
song where the rose.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
It was poetry, but you talk about the.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
Rose that grew from concrete, and you see this imagery
of something that wasn't meant to be beautiful to grow
in a place that wasn't beautiful, something beautiful that grew
from a place that wasn't beautiful. Right, this reality where
something came out of nothing. And there's this truth that
when we grow on this, this is the beauty and
power of your story. That when you grow out of
something that was meant to kill you, when you grow
(15:01):
from a place that you weren't meant to grow in,
when when you identify this thing that that's just the
worst part for you. Something powerful happens, something changes and
in you, but not just in you, but everyone around you,
in the world around you, the way you interact, the
way you speak, the way you change, because there's almost
like this this superpower. Okay, me and my imagery. I
(15:23):
know a lot of people don't know by dragon balls
or stuff like that, but when I was growing up,
that was something that I would watch often.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
I feel like all middle.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
Aged men at this point, my middle aged in that area,
like everyone at this point has struggled, has seen those things.
But there's like this main guy if you don't know,
his name is Goku, and every time he'd fight somebody
and lose or be hurt, he'd actually come back stronger.
So it significantly stronger and stronger and stronger. So what
I mean is that this place that you have been
heard and actually now becomes one of your strongest points.
(15:49):
This thing that you are living with as a wound,
as a as a battle scar, it now becomes one
of your strongest points of contention because you have not
allowed it to kill you. It's actually become something you've
used to grow that brokenness that was meant to be
ugly and flawed and lost. That thing now becomes more
to the story. It becomes this beautiful part of the
(16:09):
mountain that was meant to kill you. And this episode
specifically ten. Again, everything here is intertwined because again I
mentioned this before, that we're going to have other people
and the whole purpose of growth, of intimacy and these things.
But I've wanted to intertwine these things so much so
because I think our woundedness is the one main factor
that we all have in common that for a lot
(16:30):
of us, we haven't learned how to grow through. And
I'm not emphasizing this because it's just another episode. I
just think it's important to be able to have a
grasp on this before we talk to any other people.
And I mean, again, everyone has a story. Wherever you are,
whoever part of your life, wherever healed or unhealed you are,
or whatever that is for you. Every single human has
(16:50):
a story. And as we bring other people on to
hear their stories, I think we need to understand that
the woundedness is what makes us us right. These scars
that we have are uniquely ours, and it's either the
thing again that that doesn't allow us to grow or
it's the thing that will change the perspective. And I
want to bring people and speak to people who have
(17:13):
you know, struggled with these things. But I need you
for watching or listening, to be to understand, to be
the first person to hear these things that our woundedness
as we hear other people's wounds, is not unique, right,
because we're all hurt. We all have something we struggled
through or struggled with or are struggling or will struggle with.
But our wounds are ours, and our wounds are will
(17:36):
make our story there, will make this this this beautiful
thing as to just the arc of everything. I've seen
so many people make some amazing changes in their lives
because of the wounds that they've had, because of the
things that they've struggled with, and because of this identity
and them that it's just easier. It's just it's just
not even easier, but maybe just better to live a
(17:57):
life full because they know how much it hurts the heart,
Like they know the thing that they've gone through, They
know that the person that they were, they know that
the struggles that they had before, and being able to
just change that in you is going to be the
greatest thing you'll ever do, being able to use that
instead of again let it use you or own you,
and being able to make that into something amazing. I've
(18:17):
been fortunate that I've had some amazing conversations with people
throughout my life, especially like in administering stuff and as
a preacher. And some of the most sad stories will
put it this way that I've ever heard have come
from people that were so young and people that were
struggling with so much, and there's this woundedness, this hurt,
this desire to belong, to be, this desire to just
(18:37):
be a part of something, and not just to be
a part of something, but to be loved and to
be invited in that thing. And I think that this
starts again, yes, to people around us, but it starts
when we start looking at those things and just making
it to everything of us. So I don't belong because
someone didn't love me, or someone didn't speak to me properly,
or someone didn't invite me to something. So in that
(18:58):
thought process, and this is how our work, right, we
begin to think that this is how everyone else is.
We begin to think that this is the only way
I'll ever be loved or care for or even seen,
because that's all we have. So we lose sight of
the fact that we should be loved and invited and
cared for just intrinsically, not even because of something that
I've done, but because of the people around me. But
(19:20):
we don't always have that situation. It's not always that case.
But we give authority to the thought and not the reality.
We give authority to what's happening in our brain and
now what's actually in our lives. And even if you
don't have those quote unquote people, even if you're not
in that situation where you feel that, it doesn't diminish
you of it. And we'll talk about that a little
bit more after this quick break. So the reality of this, right,
(19:42):
this reality where we are naturally loved, like there's this
natural inclination towards who we are. It comes down to this,
and it's just again, share these stories of these young
people that I've encountered, and all people of.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
All ages, but there's a couple that specifically just come
to mind.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
And I remember I was in a in Oregon and
I was speaking at this conference and it was youth
conferences with faith based of course, and as I'm speaking,
I remember we invited people to be prayed with, right,
to pray.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
It over again.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
If you don't align with faith stuff and you're just listening,
this is again there's so much philosophy. And I've said
this so many times, whether you align or you don't ligne,
you believe, you don't believe, it's okay, You're welcome to here.
But there's just so much philosophy behind this regardless, regardless
of what you what you believe, or what you don't believe.
Just a little disclaimer for those people who just you know, faith,
(20:30):
I never want you to feel like I'm throwing faith
down in your throat. Right, You're just welcome to here regardless,
but just the philosophy behind this. So this kid invited me, sorry,
but the kids to pray, and this particular kid asked
me to pray with him. And as I'm praying with him,
his question for me was why. His question was why
am I not loved? Like he was struggling with a
bunch of other things, right, like a drug addiction and
(20:52):
and all these things. And as a teenage, you're a
very young teen and in organ specifically, like that's a
very high rate of drug use and all these things,
but his question shows why am I not loved? And
and it broke my heart because this is reality where
we think like this, like it's yes, we're using this
kid as an example, but there's a This is a
common wound for a lot of us that we we
depict how we are who we are based on how
(21:13):
people have treated us or haven't treated us. So his
his image of him at such a young age is
that he's not loved. It's that despite what his parents
might have done or said, or his family or his
friends around him, there is this emptiness because we've identified
again ourselves with that emptiness, We've identified our our person
who we we can be, who we who we are
(21:36):
on the lack of what other people have offered us.
And I need you to understand, if you're like in
this situation or you know someone in this situation that
that they feel and they struggle to really be loved,
that there is no wound, There is no lie. There
is nothing that has been said or done that can
ever steal that from you, like it does not diminish
the amount of love you deserve or have based on
(21:57):
the things that other people haven't said or done. You
deserve the fullness of love not because of what you do,
but of who you are, because you were made for it.
Like literally, you're created for this particular thing. And we
keep identifying our story based on the lack of things that.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Other people have glorified us with.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
There is no situation where anyone ever says or does
anything for you that will ever add or diminish who
you are like. And then that's important to understand, right,
not neither add or diminish. Yes, they won't take away,
but they also won't add too, which means that that
power again, that power then end comes back because you
know that you are not doing things based on what
they say or do. You're not doing things based on
(22:37):
how they feel. You're not doing things for.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Approval or love.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
You're doing things because you know what you want. You
know where you're gonna go, you know what you desire.
It's not what they want, it's what you want. And
the hardest thing we will ever do is learn to
detach our selfware from other people. Yes, is it good
to feel loved? Is it good to feel like people care?
Is it good to hear these things?
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Absolutely?
Speaker 1 (23:01):
I don't think there's a single person in this world
that's ever going to look at this and say, Man,
I don't want to feel love. That's just not the case.
But isn't necessary, Like, isn't really necessary for you to
feel that the only way you are loved is based
on what other people think. I think the most beautiful thing.
And this is just a fact. Like the most confident
people in this world, the people who have the most
(23:21):
going on or are just doing well, are usually people
who are doing things despite the understanding, belief, or greeients
of anyone else. Like are usually people who are living
life based on what they desire and not based on
what other people want. And this is back to that
power dynamic, because we shift our power to people when
(23:41):
we give them more authority. These people pleasing, right, This
is a phenomenon that we're having right, this culture of
just looking for people's approval. And again we can dive
super deep into that and go back to other wounds
and parential wounds and wounds of other people in our lives.
But the reality is that at the core of it all,
at the reality of who we are, we should not thrive,
(24:02):
We should not seek to thrive only based on what
people say only based on.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Who likes us or who doesn't.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
I think I've learned that myself really greatly in this
season because one of the hardest things that I've ever
had to overcome. And again I don't know what standpoint
you're listening to this from, but as a content creator,
as a person who makes content, I think the hardest
thing I ever.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Had to do was see.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Actually, even today, given in this office that I'm currently in,
I had to sit here and I was thinking to myself,
what could I do that the people around me won't hear? Right,
that the people who are next to me aren't going
to see or say, What can I possibly do to
make it so that they won't hear the words that
I'm saying. So I struggled with that because the reality
is that sometimes we want.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
People to approve of us before we approve.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
Of us, and that does not how That's not how
it works. Most people won't believe what you're doing until
they see you doing it right.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
They don't.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
They won't agree with the thing that you're doing, with
the actions you're taking. They'll they'll criticize, their critique, they'll
give all these other comments, but they will never agree
with it until they see you doing it, until they
see that it works. It was successful, and for us,
we have to be the first ones to take that leap.
The space that I mentioned, the space there are people around,
and my first thought was, man, what if they hear
me talking? And then I thought to myself, that's what
(25:13):
I do, this is what this is why I'm doing
this, This is why I got paid to do. This is
why people have supported me and my social media platforms
have grown so much because I'm willing to talk and
for a lot of us, we're not willing to talk.
And and I almost reverted to it. I was a yay,
let me wait till like later on, so there's no
one in the offices, so that no one can hear
me making these videos. But that is that same mindset
(25:34):
that limits the authority and power we have and gives
it to everyone else because we think that we're scared
to do the thing. We're afraid to sound weird or
to be cringy, or to take the next step. I
need you to understand that to people who cannot do,
you will always sound weird and they will have a
lot to say until you prove them wrong. But you
can't prove people wrong. If you don't do the thing
(25:55):
that you're afraid to do your story, you won't have
a purpose or a meaning or growth. If you continue
to limit your story based on people's thoughts towards the
thing that you need to do, won't happen, won't grow,
won't change until you do it, and until this becomes
like a normal response to you, because it won't be
at first. It'd be very hard, to be very difficult
to break out of a shell. But when you do,
(26:15):
when you finally get through that thing, it changes so drastically,
Like the way that you respond to everything, every conversation
and reaction, every move, it's completely different because you've become
so firm and confident in what you need to say
or do, because you know that your story is important
in it matters, because you are doing things for you
and not for anyone else. That's what changes absolutely everything
(26:38):
and every relationship you have in your life, every dynamic,
every job, every teaching, everything, every single thing you do,
follows suit with that, because it changes. It's you, it's
who you are, it's who you are firm in. Until
you are absolutely firm in that, until you learn that
what you're saying and doing for you is more important
(26:59):
than what you're saying your doory for anyone else. Your
story won't be as full as it can.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
Be, it won't be where it should be.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
But the reality is that that authority and power.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
Comes back to you. You have to.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
Convince yourself of owning yourself, of holding that storyline, of
having power over your story and not letting anyone else
write it for you, because for a lot of people,
they'll continue to stay in that thing because it's just
easier to live in that story. So I just invite
you into this reality as we come to this close
of this episode, to sit with your own story, to
(27:34):
sit with the things that you've gone through, to sit
with the things that have been said about you. Just
sit with the wounds, the hurt, the baggage, the things
that you're afraid to do, this next steps you're afraid
to take, and really just sit with that and really
just hone into that is this something that has power
over me? Or can I take power back? And the
answer is obviously, I'm just spoiling you can't. Power is
yours always. The power is always going to be to
(27:55):
what you give and what you do but knowing your
story and being able to own it is going to
be the greatest thing you'll ever do. It'll be the
most powerful thing. Why because it allows you to adjust
and change and grow. And until that power is back
in your hands, until you are able to create that
in you, you'll continue to give that power away. You'll
continue to say I won't do because someone did, I
(28:17):
won't do because someone said, I won't do because I'm
afraid of what they'll think. The reality is that everyone
is going to have their own opinions, They're always going
to have their own things to say, They're always going
to have whatever they want.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
But it's your.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
Job to take that power back. It's your job to
shift that authority not to them but to you. It's
your job to be bold to live in that exciting
story and to know that your story is important. It's
your job to live the dream that you had before
you felt like you were broken, that thing that you
knew that you were capable of doing, and the thing
that you might have been afraid to do. Your story matters,
(28:53):
and it's important, and every aspect of it, every change,
every movement is important. So I'm just glad you're here.
In this episodisode and the next couple of episodes, again,
we're really diving into wounds. This whole segment that we're
going to be doing is about wounds because I feel
like that's something that I've gotten a lot of questions
over and things that people really struggle with in unpacking
and healing certain wounds. And maybe we won't get everything perfect,
(29:16):
but maybe something can be made clear. So thank you
for being on this episode, thank you for listening, and
I just hope that this helped. I'll see you in
the next one.
The reality is that we talk ourselves out of the
possibility of things, like we are easy to be hard
on us, but really difficult to trust us, right to
trust ourselves with things, because we undermine the ability and
the talent that we actually have. This is made for
this mountain with Josh Rosa or turning pain into purpose.
The truth is that your story is going to be
one of the greatest things that you will ever tell,
(00:20):
one of the most powerful things that you ever use.
The most powerful too, in everything, in every aspect of
a relationship, every business negotiation, everything you dive into your
story will have so much power. But knowing and owning
it are two completely different things. Like people know what
they've been through, they know the lives that they lived,
and they either become the thing that they're afraid of
or they make this the catalyst as to why they're
(00:41):
going to be successful. One of the greatest stories I've
ever heard about success is actually from Saint to Reese
of Calcutta, and there's a story of the senator who
he went up to meet with her. He was looking around,
he can see the facilities, he can see everything he
was doing, and he was looking at this and asked her,
It's like, how is it that they are successful? Like,
how is it you plan to be successful in such
terrible conditions? And she responded in the most profound way ever,
(01:04):
she said, I'm not called to be successful.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
I'm called to be faithful.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
And I think a lot of us lose sight of
the fact that we're called to be faithful, one of
us ultimately to God, but ultimately also to the things
that we are called to be in, the things that
we're gifted at, the talent, the ability, the things that
are in you already you're called to be faithful to that.
But we are more faithful to lies than we are
to the truth. We are more faithful to the things
around us than what's in us, and we think that
(01:27):
those things dictate.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Every aspect of us.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Now, obviously this clearly is closer to her faith, right,
It's closer and indicated to what she's lived through, who
she is, and what she believes. But this is just
the truth for everybody that you are called to be
faithful to what's good for you, what's going to be
serviceful and purposeful for you, And you are more faithful
to the lie about you than the truth about you.
And until we learn that we need to be faithful
(01:51):
to every aspect of us before anything else, We're going
to keep falling into that trap. We're going to keep
falling into this. I'm not capable, I'm not able. This
is my life isn't purposeful. We'll keep falling into the
lies of everything else except for who we actually are.
The greatest thing you will ever own is your story.
Like it's knowing that you have what you have and
dictating what happens next. It's not allowing the things that
(02:12):
have been said or done to you to dictate the
next things in your life. Because we create this mountain
where we trap ourselves on the bottom of it because
we think we can't overcome what's been there. And I
need you to understand that the most powerful thing, the
most impactful thing, the thing that will get the most
people to be who they need to be in your life,
will be how you tell your story, like being how
(02:32):
you know what happened next. And I think that's such
a beautiful reality. Knowing that the thing that you are
able to come out of this place that was dark
and not seen and just lost that thing. It's beautiful
to know that there's something so much powerful after that,
Like you're able to achieve this next stage and you're
able to tell this reality of what was done to
you or where you were and where you are now.
(02:54):
And that can only happen if you own it, if
you own the story that you're in. So no one
has a thing over your life that you haven't given
to them. I think that's such a profound takeaway. I know,
I know it sounds like almost cliche and kind of
a basic thing to say, but the reality is that
no one has authority that you haven't given them. And yes,
I get it, I get it. Sometimes it's hard to
(03:14):
reclaim that authority, but you are still giving them power.
And there's so many.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Facets to this.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
There's people in your past that have done things to you,
and because of those things, you've made that The point
of contention is why you don't do anything as so?
Why you don't change us? So, why you don't date
as so? Why do you relate to things as why
do you don't move? I know, I'm not saying that
it's easy to move, I'm not saying that it's easy
to change. I'm saying that at some point we need
to regain power or we continue to give it. It's
(03:40):
either we stand up for what's real, or we continue to.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Allow the people to dictate what we do.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
There is power in knowing that the power is yours,
Like knowing that you have this authority that you can
tell people today at this very moment, that you're no
longer going to give into that, or you don't even
have to say anything. You just simply have to stop
doing the things that you're allowing them to continue to do.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
In your life.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
There is reclaiming and knowing that who brings you value
and who's robbing you of it, And knowing that the
people around you are they actually beneficial to the life
that you desire to live or they're just robbing you
of the life that you're currently in. You become this
beacon of possibility and what others might see amountain knowing
that you were in this thing, and you went through
this thing, and you grew and you were able to
(04:21):
be where you are now. There is so much power
in understanding that you have the authority to give authority
to other people. You also have the authority to take
that away from other people. No one can do anything
to you for you around you or towards you that
isn't within the authority that you have allowed. Now again,
people might do things right in efforts to get your attention.
But what you give power to, what you give attention to,
(04:43):
what you give the freedom to, those things then take that.
And we have to be able to see this and
know that it's not theirs, that it's ours. The power
is ours. So when we talk about your story and
as we develop this and as we open up with
this reality, first first know that authority and power is
always coming from you. Every relationship, every conversation, everything, even
(05:06):
if it feels like they have the power dynamic, even
if it feels like the things that they have done have.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Caused you this ripple. When we are able to look
at those.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Things and stop giving it the power that it's taking,
then we're able to regain.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Power over it.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
I know it sounds like a word salad here, so
I don't want to break that down for you, because
sometimes we get so caught up in what was said
or done that we don't live anywhere else. Right, We
stay trapped in a chapter of our lives. And when
you look at that scope, the only way that you
ever move from that is by not continuing to make
that thing the center point of everything you do. So
(05:42):
in a practical sense, let's take the example school. Right,
you felt like you were never good enough, You felt
like you never had the appropriate grades, that you never
lived up to what your potentially your actual potential, and
for that reason, you're afraid to move into anything.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
That's going to cost you this.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
But there is this power and understanding that in one
moment you felt that way, but now you're able to
see that from a different perspective and grow through that
particular thing. You're able to go back into it and say, well,
I knew I couldn't then, but I know I can now.
I know that the power I have is being taken
back because I'm not that person. I'm not in that place,
I'm not in that situation, I'm not in that time frame.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
I'm here.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
And being able to regain that power is knowing that
the authority is ultimately going to be yours, knowing that
you have that grasp over So your story isn't just
bold and exciting, it's important. And I think we lose
sight of the fact that the things that we've gone through,
the places that we've been in, that they are not
just things that have happened to us. They're a big
portion of our life and that yes, there are things
(06:39):
that we live through, but they're not things that should
continue to live in us. They're not things that should
own and control and be manipulative of every action we
take in this They are so important, they're so good
because they are a part of what you're becoming now.
And actually this worst part, the worst things that you've
ever lived, even those things have such beauty behind them
because they you ate this character that you're in now.
(07:01):
And we'll talk a little bit more about.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
This after this quick break.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
So your story is bold, it's exciting, it's important because
all the people that will hear it. And I know
that a lot of people think that they don't have
these good stories or this over glorious thing or this
purposeful thing. But I promise see that in some point,
at some part of your life, there is something that
someone needed. And if you are authentically who you are
called to be in this point of your life or
(07:26):
as you grow through, then that thing that you went
through will now not just help you build that character,
not just help you become this full person of who
you are now, but it will also help that person
that didn't know that they needed that help. It'll also
be that thing that this particular person that was struggling
with when they hear your story, when they hear what
you did next, when they hear the success that you
had in it because you chose to follow you and
(07:48):
not what's been done to you, that thing will be
a catalyst for them. That'll be the light on the
mountain top. That'll be that part of the mountain that
they're in struggling, but they see that you're up there,
and that's going to be the thing that's gonna help them.
It's just so beautiful to know that there's something that
you've gone through that might have hurt that for somebody
else is gonna help heal. It's the reality that this
is something that's just going to be a major stone
(08:11):
as to what you've done for other people because the
reality is that we need each other. But in this concept,
you need you, Your future needs you, your president needs you.
The people that you're encountering, and the people that you
will meet in life, your family, your kids, all these
people will need the story of your life and the
thing that you were afraid to go through the thing
that you've made a stumbling block thing that part of
(08:33):
the story is so important, and I mentioned this in
the very first episode. I feel like us I kind
of revert to a lot of these things. I think
it's just so so much importance to understand that our
story has power, and our stories matter, and the things
that we say and the things.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
That we do, whether we give it authority.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Or not, those things are still a part of everything,
and they're still a part of the things that are
making us us. Now, it's just making sure that those
things are not the things that.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Control every aspect. Right.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
They add right, They're part of the character building, They're
a part of the development, they're part of the growth,
they're part of the beauty. But they shouldn't be the
thing that drives the boat. They shouldn't be the thing
that you always revert to. We get stuck in the
things that have been said or done to us because
we think that those things are who we are. And
it need you to break that lie. You are not
the things that have happened to you. You're not the
things that have been said about you. You are the
person that chose to see those things and not go
(09:23):
back to them. You're the one that chose to break
the cycles to create this person that would help other people.
The reality is that your story, this is not your brokenness.
It's who you were before and who you are after.
Like the story of you outside of the bad relationships,
or outside of the broken marriages, or outside of the
broken family dynamics, or outside of the outside of all
(09:44):
the things that just completely lie to you, those things,
Despite those things, you are who you are. And I
need you as you hear this. I don't know what
state in your life you're going. I don't know if
you're struggling to believe that you're capable or not. But
no matter who you are, no matter where we tend
to revert to the thing that's safe, Like we tend
to go back to the thing that seems familiar. And
(10:06):
even if that thing that seems familiar is painful, it's
the most safe thing for us because the level of
toxicity that we know, that that's saying, the demon that
you know, the demon that you understand, the devil that
you know, it's easier to go back to the thing
that hurts you or stay in the state of the
thing that you've been hurt in because you know that place.
But I need you to dream like I needed to
understand that you were made for that thing that you're
(10:27):
afraid to do, for that next step, the next stage,
that next person that you're becoming, because you were not
made to stay in that struggle. And I've met so
many amazing, beautiful people in this world who have limited themselves,
who have literally just killed different aspects of potential of
good in their life because they've stayed in things that
have been said or done to them in their past.
(10:48):
And again I'm I'm not minimizing the effort and the
work that it takes to grow from those things. But
at some point we have to stop making the excuse
that I've been hurt so bad that I can't heal
because you did nothing to heal. You stayed in a
place in the time and the struggle that you were
in thinking that that particular thing is all you are,
and it robs you of the story. The story isn't
(11:09):
done right. They're still building, we're still growing, but we
can't build and grow if we remain under the rubble.
You can't continue to stay in destroyed place and say
that this thing is it because there's never going to
be any moment of change. There's never going to be
a moment of growth. I think when we identify with
our wound, and I'm going to dive into that a
(11:29):
little bit deeper because there's a lot there. But when
we identify with our wound, we think that our wounds
are what we are like when we look at the
things that have been done or said to us and
we think, yeah, no, this is who I am, this
broken person, this lost person. When we identify with those things,
we begin to minimize any effort that we could ever make,
We stop anything from growing or happening, because we think
that that is who I am. There is no world,
(11:52):
there's no place, there's no time where you pretending to
this hurt you, this person that was hurt by and
someone else pretending to be that person. Right, And I
say pretending because you are not that person. You are
not the person that that was made to feel like
they're nothing. You're not the person that was made to
belittle You're not the person that's meant to be in
these flawed states. That's just not who you are. But
you are pretending to be this because someone's convinced you
(12:13):
of it, and sometimes that someone is you the thing.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
That you've struggled with.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
You've lowed yourself to be so masked by it that
you think that this is what you look in the mirror,
and that's who you see, this perspective, this view from
this wound, that it becomes the only thing you are.
And again, I feel like this has been like a
thread for the last three episodes where we've talked about
the pig million effect. We've talked about it from a
successful side, we've talked about it from the unsuccessful side.
(12:39):
But now I want to kind of talk about this
to the wounds, because sometimes the way the lens that
we see the world is to the lens of the
things that have happened to us. So we believe that
we are because of the things that have been done.
We think that we're going to stay in this place
because somebody has treated me this way. And I need
you to understand that there is no person that should
have that much authority. Going back to that first point,
the reality is that we give authority the situation because
(13:00):
it's easier to dismiss it on that than it is
to take responsibility for it.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
It's hard to be.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Accountable for ourselves, let alone, for things that have been
done to us, so we don't change because our accountability
isn't rooted in us, it's rooted in them. We tend
to say, oh, well someone said to me, or someone
did this, or someone limited me in this place, and
because of that you say, well, that's their fault and
I can't do this. No, they're not Yes, they might
have caused the wound, but they're not responsible for your healing.
(13:26):
They're not responsible for your change, not responsible for your things.
We see this so often with the parental wounds, right,
we think that we're limited by our healthy relationships based
on the poor ones that we've had. We stop ourselves
from being fully joyful and fully us because we think
that that's what we're limited to. That's that's our wall,
that's the border. I need you to challenge that, right,
(13:46):
I need you to challenge that core wound. I need
you to challenge that thing that has been ingrained and
it's almost subconsciously just there, just this this feeling of
inadequacy or negative like self thought or all these things
that aren't tangible that there are in our minds that
are so deeply embedded that we have identified ourselves with them,
and whether we're aware of that or not, whether it's
(14:07):
again conscious or subconscious, we can't continue to identify with
those wounds and then wonder why we don't change. I
need you to identify those things and do something towards them,
because we can't just let these things be dormant and
then expect for them to leave. They won't.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
They're comfortable.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Your wounds have made home there, so your story now
becomes under that wound instead of out of that wounds.
And there's alose beautiful imagery at Tupac actually had a
song where the rose.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
It was poetry, but you talk about the.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
Rose that grew from concrete, and you see this imagery
of something that wasn't meant to be beautiful to grow
in a place that wasn't beautiful, something beautiful that grew
from a place that wasn't beautiful. Right, this reality where
something came out of nothing. And there's this truth that
when we grow on this, this is the beauty and
power of your story. That when you grow out of
something that was meant to kill you, when you grow
(15:01):
from a place that you weren't meant to grow in,
when when you identify this thing that that's just the
worst part for you. Something powerful happens, something changes and
in you, but not just in you, but everyone around you,
in the world around you, the way you interact, the
way you speak, the way you change, because there's almost
like this this superpower. Okay, me and my imagery. I
(15:23):
know a lot of people don't know by dragon balls
or stuff like that, but when I was growing up,
that was something that I would watch often.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
I feel like all middle.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
Aged men at this point, my middle aged in that area,
like everyone at this point has struggled, has seen those things.
But there's like this main guy if you don't know,
his name is Goku, and every time he'd fight somebody
and lose or be hurt, he'd actually come back stronger.
So it significantly stronger and stronger and stronger. So what
I mean is that this place that you have been
heard and actually now becomes one of your strongest points.
(15:49):
This thing that you are living with as a wound,
as a as a battle scar, it now becomes one
of your strongest points of contention because you have not
allowed it to kill you. It's actually become something you've
used to grow that brokenness that was meant to be
ugly and flawed and lost. That thing now becomes more
to the story. It becomes this beautiful part of the
(16:09):
mountain that was meant to kill you. And this episode
specifically ten. Again, everything here is intertwined because again I
mentioned this before, that we're going to have other people
and the whole purpose of growth, of intimacy and these things.
But I've wanted to intertwine these things so much so
because I think our woundedness is the one main factor
that we all have in common that for a lot
(16:30):
of us, we haven't learned how to grow through. And
I'm not emphasizing this because it's just another episode. I
just think it's important to be able to have a
grasp on this before we talk to any other people.
And I mean, again, everyone has a story. Wherever you are,
whoever part of your life, wherever healed or unhealed you are,
or whatever that is for you. Every single human has
(16:50):
a story. And as we bring other people on to
hear their stories, I think we need to understand that
the woundedness is what makes us us right. These scars
that we have are uniquely ours, and it's either the
thing again that that doesn't allow us to grow or
it's the thing that will change the perspective. And I
want to bring people and speak to people who have
(17:13):
you know, struggled with these things. But I need you
for watching or listening, to be to understand, to be
the first person to hear these things that our woundedness
as we hear other people's wounds, is not unique, right,
because we're all hurt. We all have something we struggled
through or struggled with or are struggling or will struggle with.
But our wounds are ours, and our wounds are will
(17:36):
make our story there, will make this this this beautiful
thing as to just the arc of everything. I've seen
so many people make some amazing changes in their lives
because of the wounds that they've had, because of the
things that they've struggled with, and because of this identity
and them that it's just easier. It's just it's just
not even easier, but maybe just better to live a
(17:57):
life full because they know how much it hurts the heart,
Like they know the thing that they've gone through, They
know that the person that they were, they know that
the struggles that they had before, and being able to
just change that in you is going to be the
greatest thing you'll ever do, being able to use that
instead of again let it use you or own you,
and being able to make that into something amazing. I've
(18:17):
been fortunate that I've had some amazing conversations with people
throughout my life, especially like in administering stuff and as
a preacher. And some of the most sad stories will
put it this way that I've ever heard have come
from people that were so young and people that were
struggling with so much, and there's this woundedness, this hurt,
this desire to belong, to be, this desire to just
(18:37):
be a part of something, and not just to be
a part of something, but to be loved and to
be invited in that thing. And I think that this
starts again, yes, to people around us, but it starts
when we start looking at those things and just making
it to everything of us. So I don't belong because
someone didn't love me, or someone didn't speak to me properly,
or someone didn't invite me to something. So in that
(18:58):
thought process, and this is how our work, right, we
begin to think that this is how everyone else is.
We begin to think that this is the only way
I'll ever be loved or care for or even seen,
because that's all we have. So we lose sight of
the fact that we should be loved and invited and
cared for just intrinsically, not even because of something that
I've done, but because of the people around me. But
(19:20):
we don't always have that situation. It's not always that case.
But we give authority to the thought and not the reality.
We give authority to what's happening in our brain and
now what's actually in our lives. And even if you
don't have those quote unquote people, even if you're not
in that situation where you feel that, it doesn't diminish
you of it. And we'll talk about that a little
bit more after this quick break. So the reality of this, right,
(19:42):
this reality where we are naturally loved, like there's this
natural inclination towards who we are. It comes down to this,
and it's just again, share these stories of these young
people that I've encountered, and all people of.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
All ages, but there's a couple that specifically just come
to mind.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
And I remember I was in a in Oregon and
I was speaking at this conference and it was youth
conferences with faith based of course, and as I'm speaking,
I remember we invited people to be prayed with, right,
to pray.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
It over again.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
If you don't align with faith stuff and you're just listening,
this is again there's so much philosophy. And I've said
this so many times, whether you align or you don't ligne,
you believe, you don't believe, it's okay, You're welcome to here.
But there's just so much philosophy behind this regardless, regardless
of what you what you believe, or what you don't believe.
Just a little disclaimer for those people who just you know, faith,
(20:30):
I never want you to feel like I'm throwing faith
down in your throat. Right, You're just welcome to here regardless,
but just the philosophy behind this. So this kid invited me, sorry,
but the kids to pray, and this particular kid asked
me to pray with him. And as I'm praying with him,
his question for me was why. His question was why
am I not loved? Like he was struggling with a
bunch of other things, right, like a drug addiction and
(20:52):
and all these things. And as a teenage, you're a
very young teen and in organ specifically, like that's a
very high rate of drug use and all these things,
but his question shows why am I not loved? And
and it broke my heart because this is reality where
we think like this, like it's yes, we're using this
kid as an example, but there's a This is a
common wound for a lot of us that we we
depict how we are who we are based on how
(21:13):
people have treated us or haven't treated us. So his
his image of him at such a young age is
that he's not loved. It's that despite what his parents
might have done or said, or his family or his
friends around him, there is this emptiness because we've identified
again ourselves with that emptiness, We've identified our our person
who we we can be, who we who we are
(21:36):
on the lack of what other people have offered us.
And I need you to understand, if you're like in
this situation or you know someone in this situation that
that they feel and they struggle to really be loved,
that there is no wound, There is no lie. There
is nothing that has been said or done that can
ever steal that from you, like it does not diminish
the amount of love you deserve or have based on
(21:57):
the things that other people haven't said or done. You
deserve the fullness of love not because of what you do,
but of who you are, because you were made for it.
Like literally, you're created for this particular thing. And we
keep identifying our story based on the lack of things that.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Other people have glorified us with.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
There is no situation where anyone ever says or does
anything for you that will ever add or diminish who
you are like. And then that's important to understand, right,
not neither add or diminish. Yes, they won't take away,
but they also won't add too, which means that that
power again, that power then end comes back because you
know that you are not doing things based on what
they say or do. You're not doing things based on
(22:37):
how they feel. You're not doing things for.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Approval or love.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
You're doing things because you know what you want. You
know where you're gonna go, you know what you desire.
It's not what they want, it's what you want. And
the hardest thing we will ever do is learn to
detach our selfware from other people. Yes, is it good
to feel loved? Is it good to feel like people care?
Is it good to hear these things?
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Absolutely?
Speaker 1 (23:01):
I don't think there's a single person in this world
that's ever going to look at this and say, Man,
I don't want to feel love. That's just not the case.
But isn't necessary, Like, isn't really necessary for you to
feel that the only way you are loved is based
on what other people think. I think the most beautiful thing.
And this is just a fact. Like the most confident
people in this world, the people who have the most
(23:21):
going on or are just doing well, are usually people
who are doing things despite the understanding, belief, or greeients
of anyone else. Like are usually people who are living
life based on what they desire and not based on
what other people want. And this is back to that
power dynamic, because we shift our power to people when
(23:41):
we give them more authority. These people pleasing, right, This
is a phenomenon that we're having right, this culture of
just looking for people's approval. And again we can dive
super deep into that and go back to other wounds
and parential wounds and wounds of other people in our lives.
But the reality is that at the core of it all,
at the reality of who we are, we should not thrive,
(24:02):
We should not seek to thrive only based on what
people say only based on.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Who likes us or who doesn't.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
I think I've learned that myself really greatly in this
season because one of the hardest things that I've ever
had to overcome. And again I don't know what standpoint
you're listening to this from, but as a content creator,
as a person who makes content, I think the hardest
thing I ever.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Had to do was see.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Actually, even today, given in this office that I'm currently in,
I had to sit here and I was thinking to myself,
what could I do that the people around me won't hear? Right,
that the people who are next to me aren't going
to see or say, What can I possibly do to
make it so that they won't hear the words that
I'm saying. So I struggled with that because the reality
is that sometimes we want.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
People to approve of us before we approve.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
Of us, and that does not how That's not how
it works. Most people won't believe what you're doing until
they see you doing it right.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
They don't.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
They won't agree with the thing that you're doing, with
the actions you're taking. They'll they'll criticize, their critique, they'll
give all these other comments, but they will never agree
with it until they see you doing it, until they
see that it works. It was successful, and for us,
we have to be the first ones to take that leap.
The space that I mentioned, the space there are people around,
and my first thought was, man, what if they hear
me talking? And then I thought to myself, that's what
(25:13):
I do, this is what this is why I'm doing
this, This is why I got paid to do. This is
why people have supported me and my social media platforms
have grown so much because I'm willing to talk and
for a lot of us, we're not willing to talk.
And and I almost reverted to it. I was a yay,
let me wait till like later on, so there's no
one in the offices, so that no one can hear
me making these videos. But that is that same mindset
(25:34):
that limits the authority and power we have and gives
it to everyone else because we think that we're scared
to do the thing. We're afraid to sound weird or
to be cringy, or to take the next step. I
need you to understand that to people who cannot do,
you will always sound weird and they will have a
lot to say until you prove them wrong. But you
can't prove people wrong. If you don't do the thing
(25:55):
that you're afraid to do your story, you won't have
a purpose or a meaning or growth. If you continue
to limit your story based on people's thoughts towards the
thing that you need to do, won't happen, won't grow,
won't change until you do it, and until this becomes
like a normal response to you, because it won't be
at first. It'd be very hard, to be very difficult
to break out of a shell. But when you do,
(26:15):
when you finally get through that thing, it changes so drastically,
Like the way that you respond to everything, every conversation
and reaction, every move, it's completely different because you've become
so firm and confident in what you need to say
or do, because you know that your story is important
in it matters, because you are doing things for you
and not for anyone else. That's what changes absolutely everything
(26:38):
and every relationship you have in your life, every dynamic,
every job, every teaching, everything, every single thing you do,
follows suit with that, because it changes. It's you, it's
who you are, it's who you are firm in. Until
you are absolutely firm in that, until you learn that
what you're saying and doing for you is more important
(26:59):
than what you're saying your doory for anyone else. Your
story won't be as full as it can.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
Be, it won't be where it should be.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
But the reality is that that authority and power.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
Comes back to you. You have to.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
Convince yourself of owning yourself, of holding that storyline, of
having power over your story and not letting anyone else
write it for you, because for a lot of people,
they'll continue to stay in that thing because it's just
easier to live in that story. So I just invite
you into this reality as we come to this close
of this episode, to sit with your own story, to
(27:34):
sit with the things that you've gone through, to sit
with the things that have been said about you. Just
sit with the wounds, the hurt, the baggage, the things
that you're afraid to do, this next steps you're afraid
to take, and really just sit with that and really
just hone into that is this something that has power
over me? Or can I take power back? And the
answer is obviously, I'm just spoiling you can't. Power is
yours always. The power is always going to be to
(27:55):
what you give and what you do but knowing your
story and being able to own it is going to
be the greatest thing you'll ever do. It'll be the
most powerful thing. Why because it allows you to adjust
and change and grow. And until that power is back
in your hands, until you are able to create that
in you, you'll continue to give that power away. You'll
continue to say I won't do because someone did, I
(28:17):
won't do because someone said, I won't do because I'm
afraid of what they'll think. The reality is that everyone
is going to have their own opinions, They're always going
to have their own things to say, They're always going
to have whatever they want.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
But it's your.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
Job to take that power back. It's your job to
shift that authority not to them but to you. It's
your job to be bold to live in that exciting
story and to know that your story is important. It's
your job to live the dream that you had before
you felt like you were broken, that thing that you
knew that you were capable of doing, and the thing
that you might have been afraid to do. Your story matters,
(28:53):
and it's important, and every aspect of it, every change,
every movement is important. So I'm just glad you're here.
In this episodisode and the next couple of episodes, again,
we're really diving into wounds. This whole segment that we're
going to be doing is about wounds because I feel
like that's something that I've gotten a lot of questions
over and things that people really struggle with in unpacking
and healing certain wounds. And maybe we won't get everything perfect,
(29:16):
but maybe something can be made clear. So thank you
for being on this episode, thank you for listening, and
I just hope that this helped. I'll see you in
the next one.
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