February 9, 2025 • 7 mins
Understand How Valuable You Actually Are | Self-Worth & Confidence
Do you struggle with self-worth? In this episode, we dive deep into how to find value in yourself rather than seeking validation from others. Learn how to boost your confidence, set healthy boundaries, and recognize your true worth. If you’ve ever felt unappreciated or questioned your value, this is for you!
✅ Why self-worth comes from within, not from others
✅ How to stop relying on external validation
✅ Practical steps to build unshakable confidence
✅ Mindset shifts to embrace your true value
#SelfWorth #Confidence #PersonalGrowth #KnowYourValue #MindsetShift #Podcast #SelfLove #YouAreEnough
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
So I want to be undantly clear. I'm not saying
(00:01):
you have to be mean to people or don't care
about people, but I am saying that you have to
stop being considerate about people that are in considerate about you,
Like you have to stop putting yourself and overseelling yourself
and doing the most because you think that if you
show more, if you do more, that it's going to
make you wanted or love their valued. Your worth is
not based on what people can see or cannot see.
It's not based on what they're willing to offer. So
(00:22):
when we talk about value, we talk about knowing your value.
You have to realize that people will always pay you
with what they're willing to get away from. It's like
any transactions, any negotiation. If you're saying that you're willing
to accept less, they will continue to pay less. They'll
continue to offer you less. They'll continue to do that
because it's what they've been getting away with. And the
problem there is that when we are infirm on these things,
(00:45):
we're not firm on our boundaries, people will continue to
steal from us and we lose. We feel the pain.
We're the ones that are suffering the loss of that thing.
So I need you to understand that when I say
be considerate people that are considered about you, and don't
be considerate in places where you're not being considered, it's
not caring, it's not not loving them. It's understanding that
you have to be firm about you because no one
(01:06):
else is gonna do it. No one else is gonna
sit here and try to justify and correct things for you.
But if you continue to sell yourself less, they will
continue to pay you less, and in fact, in some situations,
they'll try to negotiate less out of you. I know
that it's a scary thought. I know that it's a
scary thought to think that my boundaries would cause me
to lose people, that my boundaries would do something that
(01:26):
would make me not favorable. And this is where the
struggle of people please really kicks in, because a lot
of us think that we need to be liked. I
need you to understand that there are a lot of
people in this world that don't even like themselves. What
makes you think that they're gonna like you? What makes
you think that they're going to say here and justify
anything about you to themselves when they can't justify themselves
to themselves. It's okay to live in a place in
(01:49):
a world where you are not liked. And I know
that's a hard thing. I know it's tough, especially for
my people. Pleases people like me. I have struggled with
that right for a long time. I want it to
be loved. And a lot of these things are tied
into different wounds. We can trace those things all the
way back to this parental wounds that we see right
that we didn't receive this kind of leve or this
kind of attention, so that now is manifested or is
(02:11):
shown as a type of love that we want to
give or receive. So we kind of expect that from people.
But it's not your job to force people to see
your value you are. Your job is to be authentically
and fully you. And what's beautiful about this is when
you're authentically and fully you're the people that want to
be around you, the people that are gonna pour into you.
Those are the people that are gonna navigate themselves towards
(02:34):
you because you are now receiving what you're fully capable of.
But here, this is why people are so upset. This
is why people are are the struggle of just wanting
to be loved or wanting to be involved because they
think that if they do something or they are a
different way, that those people that are now around them
are the people that need to be around them. They're not.
Because you're gonna consistently have to keep this mask on,
You're gonna consistently have to continue to do the same
(02:56):
thing over and over again. I need you to understand
that your value is not found on people. It's not
found in things, and the first of all, it's found
in God. That's like at the most basic level that
we need to understand. But outside of that, our value
is not based on what people are willing to offer
or not offer us. It's not based on them. And
we see this even in relationships. Romantical is just so
(03:18):
many times when we put people on pedestals that we
can't get over them, and we go into the state
of lemrians where we're obsessing about the situation itself right
where we're sitting here. We make this the center point
of everything, and of course you can't get over it.
Of Course you keep thinking about it, of course you
keep coming back to it because you're obsessing over it.
It is the only thing that your brain is going
towards and the only thing that you're constantly thinking about.
(03:39):
And we then start blaming ourselves. We start making ourselves
into the aggressor in this, not even the victim. We
start saying that, well, if I would have done this,
or or if I could have changed this, or if
my hair would have been this way, or if I
would have shown up to this, Why is it that
you're trying to convince yourself that you are the problem
in a place that you were not loved? Why are
you trying to tell yourself that the issue is you
(04:00):
and not them? And then that sit limbits is huge.
We stay in that often because it's easier to obsess
and remind and replay and go over the thing than
it is to sit back and say, wait, this thing
does not serve me. And if it does not serve me,
it should not be around me. It shouldn't be around me.
Why am I fixated on it? You keep thinking that
your value is in people. That's why you can't move
(04:20):
away from those things, because your value is stuck on
that thing. Your value is persistently based on this. And
when we put our value on things that we don't control,
we lose control. We don't put our value in that
our value is dictated towards us and not demanded by us.
When we make that thing a centerfold of everything else,
we can't find value in us. And how do we
(04:40):
do that? How do you separate from that? How it's
easy to say right, and we know the problem, and
most of us know our problem. We know we're struggled with.
We just can't move away from it. Well, you have
to really sit down and talk with you like, this
is a conversation that you have to have. And the
hardest thing that we all struggle with, myself included, is consistency.
Like it's easy to want to do something and I
equit them with motivation, Like it's a little birds of
motivation that you're like, oh, I want to change my
(05:02):
whole life and do everything different, and then out of
nowhere that's gone. Consistency is hard in everything, in fitness,
in eating right, in videos and content creation and media
and literally everything. But it's specially difficult to be consistent
with us and our wants and our values, and those
one of those things that when you eventually get into it,
(05:22):
when you are firm and your boundaries and your firm
on what you're willing to accept, or firm on the
things that you're not willing to accept. That when you
are firm and that that that's when those things begin
to change and you make that shift. But it's hard
to do that if you're not conscious and consistently talking
to you, if you're not sitting down and saying, hey,
I don't like this. Why am I continuing to allow
(05:43):
this to continue? Like? Why am I in this? When
this does not deserve my peace, my time, my patience, nothing.
Until you're consistent with you, nothing around you will change,
no matter what you're in, but specifically in this, when
we were consistent about our value about how do we
regain that, about how do we live in that? Until
we're consistent in that reality that only we can dictate
(06:04):
what that value is, then you will always continue to
go back, will continue to revert to the thing that's
hurting you. So the question is what's your value? And
then even deeper than that, who are you allowing to
dictate your value? Listen, it's okay to not be liked.
You do not have to please everybody. This world is
not meant for everyone to like. It's impossible it's literally impossible.
(06:26):
Will you will kill yourself mentally, physically, emotionally trying to
do the impossible, trying to get people to like you completely?
It's just not gonna happen. So the question there lies
if your value isn't based on people liking you, then
maybe it's based on you liking you. It's based on
you being able to develop a relationship with yourself that
(06:46):
you just love you. And yes, maybe you don't have
everything perfectly together as how you could envision it and want,
But learning to love you is knowing that those things
can come later, That the person you are now is
a person that needs to love the most. I need
you to love you so much that other people can't
make you hate you. That the love that you have
for yourself is about helping and serving and growing. Now
(07:08):
you're giving yourself grace and situations that you failed and
messed up in that you're sitting there looking at you
and saying, man, I have something could in me. Because
we're so conditioned by this world to continue to look
at us and blame ourselves for everything. You are amazing.
I don't care what you've done, I don't care where
you've been with the kind of life you lived there.
There is a starting point of today for every person,
(07:31):
and you deserve grace. Your value is not based on them.
You already have value. Stop selling yourself short
So I want to be undantly clear. I'm not saying
(00:01):
you have to be mean to people or don't care
about people, but I am saying that you have to
stop being considerate about people that are in considerate about you,
Like you have to stop putting yourself and overseelling yourself
and doing the most because you think that if you
show more, if you do more, that it's going to
make you wanted or love their valued. Your worth is
not based on what people can see or cannot see.
It's not based on what they're willing to offer. So
(00:22):
when we talk about value, we talk about knowing your value.
You have to realize that people will always pay you
with what they're willing to get away from. It's like
any transactions, any negotiation. If you're saying that you're willing
to accept less, they will continue to pay less. They'll
continue to offer you less. They'll continue to do that
because it's what they've been getting away with. And the
problem there is that when we are infirm on these things,
(00:45):
we're not firm on our boundaries, people will continue to
steal from us and we lose. We feel the pain.
We're the ones that are suffering the loss of that thing.
So I need you to understand that when I say
be considerate people that are considered about you, and don't
be considerate in places where you're not being considered, it's
not caring, it's not not loving them. It's understanding that
you have to be firm about you because no one
(01:06):
else is gonna do it. No one else is gonna
sit here and try to justify and correct things for you.
But if you continue to sell yourself less, they will
continue to pay you less, and in fact, in some situations,
they'll try to negotiate less out of you. I know
that it's a scary thought. I know that it's a
scary thought to think that my boundaries would cause me
to lose people, that my boundaries would do something that
(01:26):
would make me not favorable. And this is where the
struggle of people please really kicks in, because a lot
of us think that we need to be liked. I
need you to understand that there are a lot of
people in this world that don't even like themselves. What
makes you think that they're gonna like you? What makes
you think that they're going to say here and justify
anything about you to themselves when they can't justify themselves
to themselves. It's okay to live in a place in
(01:49):
a world where you are not liked. And I know
that's a hard thing. I know it's tough, especially for
my people. Pleases people like me. I have struggled with
that right for a long time. I want it to
be loved. And a lot of these things are tied
into different wounds. We can trace those things all the
way back to this parental wounds that we see right
that we didn't receive this kind of leve or this
kind of attention, so that now is manifested or is
(02:11):
shown as a type of love that we want to
give or receive. So we kind of expect that from people.
But it's not your job to force people to see
your value you are. Your job is to be authentically
and fully you. And what's beautiful about this is when
you're authentically and fully you're the people that want to
be around you, the people that are gonna pour into you.
Those are the people that are gonna navigate themselves towards
(02:34):
you because you are now receiving what you're fully capable of.
But here, this is why people are so upset. This
is why people are are the struggle of just wanting
to be loved or wanting to be involved because they
think that if they do something or they are a
different way, that those people that are now around them
are the people that need to be around them. They're not.
Because you're gonna consistently have to keep this mask on,
You're gonna consistently have to continue to do the same
(02:56):
thing over and over again. I need you to understand
that your value is not found on people. It's not
found in things, and the first of all, it's found
in God. That's like at the most basic level that
we need to understand. But outside of that, our value
is not based on what people are willing to offer
or not offer us. It's not based on them. And
we see this even in relationships. Romantical is just so
(03:18):
many times when we put people on pedestals that we
can't get over them, and we go into the state
of lemrians where we're obsessing about the situation itself right
where we're sitting here. We make this the center point
of everything, and of course you can't get over it.
Of Course you keep thinking about it, of course you
keep coming back to it because you're obsessing over it.
It is the only thing that your brain is going
towards and the only thing that you're constantly thinking about.
(03:39):
And we then start blaming ourselves. We start making ourselves
into the aggressor in this, not even the victim. We
start saying that, well, if I would have done this,
or or if I could have changed this, or if
my hair would have been this way, or if I
would have shown up to this, Why is it that
you're trying to convince yourself that you are the problem
in a place that you were not loved? Why are
you trying to tell yourself that the issue is you
(04:00):
and not them? And then that sit limbits is huge.
We stay in that often because it's easier to obsess
and remind and replay and go over the thing than
it is to sit back and say, wait, this thing
does not serve me. And if it does not serve me,
it should not be around me. It shouldn't be around me.
Why am I fixated on it? You keep thinking that
your value is in people. That's why you can't move
(04:20):
away from those things, because your value is stuck on
that thing. Your value is persistently based on this. And
when we put our value on things that we don't control,
we lose control. We don't put our value in that
our value is dictated towards us and not demanded by us.
When we make that thing a centerfold of everything else,
we can't find value in us. And how do we
(04:40):
do that? How do you separate from that? How it's
easy to say right, and we know the problem, and
most of us know our problem. We know we're struggled with.
We just can't move away from it. Well, you have
to really sit down and talk with you like, this
is a conversation that you have to have. And the
hardest thing that we all struggle with, myself included, is consistency.
Like it's easy to want to do something and I
equit them with motivation, Like it's a little birds of
motivation that you're like, oh, I want to change my
(05:02):
whole life and do everything different, and then out of
nowhere that's gone. Consistency is hard in everything, in fitness,
in eating right, in videos and content creation and media
and literally everything. But it's specially difficult to be consistent
with us and our wants and our values, and those
one of those things that when you eventually get into it,
(05:22):
when you are firm and your boundaries and your firm
on what you're willing to accept, or firm on the
things that you're not willing to accept. That when you
are firm and that that that's when those things begin
to change and you make that shift. But it's hard
to do that if you're not conscious and consistently talking
to you, if you're not sitting down and saying, hey,
I don't like this. Why am I continuing to allow
(05:43):
this to continue? Like? Why am I in this? When
this does not deserve my peace, my time, my patience, nothing.
Until you're consistent with you, nothing around you will change,
no matter what you're in, but specifically in this, when
we were consistent about our value about how do we
regain that, about how do we live in that? Until
we're consistent in that reality that only we can dictate
(06:04):
what that value is, then you will always continue to
go back, will continue to revert to the thing that's
hurting you. So the question is what's your value? And
then even deeper than that, who are you allowing to
dictate your value? Listen, it's okay to not be liked.
You do not have to please everybody. This world is
not meant for everyone to like. It's impossible it's literally impossible.
(06:26):
Will you will kill yourself mentally, physically, emotionally trying to
do the impossible, trying to get people to like you completely?
It's just not gonna happen. So the question there lies
if your value isn't based on people liking you, then
maybe it's based on you liking you. It's based on
you being able to develop a relationship with yourself that
(06:46):
you just love you. And yes, maybe you don't have
everything perfectly together as how you could envision it and want,
But learning to love you is knowing that those things
can come later, That the person you are now is
a person that needs to love the most. I need
you to love you so much that other people can't
make you hate you. That the love that you have
for yourself is about helping and serving and growing. Now
(07:08):
you're giving yourself grace and situations that you failed and
messed up in that you're sitting there looking at you
and saying, man, I have something could in me. Because
we're so conditioned by this world to continue to look
at us and blame ourselves for everything. You are amazing.
I don't care what you've done, I don't care where
you've been with the kind of life you lived there.
There is a starting point of today for every person,
(07:31):
and you deserve grace. Your value is not based on them.
You already have value. Stop selling yourself short
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