March 24, 2025 • 8 mins
Why we DON'T Change (2025 motivation)
You are your own biggest enemy or biggest supporter.
When you change your outlook and self love you change how everything
Else goes.
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Podcast (The MadeMoreMotivated Podcast)
https://mademoremotivated.podbean.com/e/is-peace-really-a-choice-pre-episode-1/
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#selflove #selfworth #selflovequotes #motivation #motivational
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
So this is a very real reason why a lot
of us struggle to change, Like there's something in us
that desires should be different, to be new, to be
something more. But we still struggle with this reality. And
I need you to understand this that your biggest enemy
isn't your biggest hater, It isn't a friend, It isn't
a person that was in your life at some point.
Your biggest enemy is always gonna be you, Like you
(00:21):
are the biggest person that's gonna speak to you the
way that you're gonna either listen or ignore, or believe
or distrust. You are going to talk to you more
than anyone else in this world is ever gonna speak
to you. You are constantly in your mind. You're constantly
the one that's just going back to your brain. You're
constantly the one that has sit in this reality of
who you are. So I need you to understand that
(00:41):
if anything is gonna change, if anything's gonna become different,
there are some things that you have to break down
that you have become accustomed to. First of all, before
we dive into anything about this, you need to understand
that how you speak to you matters, Like you are
the person that's gonna advocate for you, be your biggest cheerleader,
or you're gonna be the one that's gonna damn and
demean you. You're gonna sit there and actually believe that
you're not worth anything because, believe it or not, your brain,
(01:04):
the way it works, the way it was wired, is
literally to trust to you. So if you tell yourself
repeatedly something, your brain is eventually going to create these
newer pathways in which it's going to actually believe whatever
you're saying. So if you tell yourself every single day
that you're terrible, that you can't make it, that you're
not going to succeed, that you're all these things, I
promise you you will believe that you will become those
things because that's the truth, that's what your brain believes.
(01:26):
So our first stage here, our first point here is
it's going to be you versus you. You need to
realize that you are in competition with no one else
in this world, and no matter how what they say
to you, maybe they might be in competition with you.
Right they might look at you and hate the things
you're doing, or hate the way that you're changing, or
hate the way you're improving. That's cool, that's on them,
But you are in competition with no one but yourself.
You are responsible for you. You're not responsible for answering to
(01:47):
other people. You're not responsible for evalidating their ego. You're
not responsible for giving them what they want. You are
responsible for you. You're responsible for the changes you make, for
how you improve, how you become better, for the places
in your life that you reas and growing. And it's
always going to be you versus you. But what happens
sometimes is that we think that we have to validate
other people, so we invalidate ourselves, allow ourselves to become
(02:09):
less because we think that what they're saying is so
important that we have to live for that. You need
to establish and nothing else matters. So you can love people,
you should care for people, you should give, and you
should be a good person to people. But at the
end of the day, the only person that you need
to worry about and improve about is you. Obviously, your
family is going to be things that are part of you,
right They're a part of your life, They're part of
who you are, and these are people that you're gonna
(02:30):
help improve. But you first, you can't lead without being
able to improve you. That whole plain analogy, right. You
can't save people. You can't put masks on other people
until the mass is on your face first. If you
don't worry about you, if you don't improve you, if
you don't worry about becoming the best version of you,
not to prove anyone wrong, not out of a place
of hurt, but out of a place of reality. Or
(02:51):
you're just tired of being in the same thing where
you're tired of feeling the same way. That's when things
are going to improve. When you decide that you're the best.
The only option that you have in this world to
fix is you, And trust me, it's a struggle. I've
wrestled with this. The more I learn, the more girl,
the more I'm trying to actually implement these things in
my own life, and I understand the struggle of it.
But at some point, if you do not wrestle with it,
(03:12):
it's gonna wrestle you. It's either you fight against it
or it just beats you up. You have to choose
what's gonna change. Am I going to sit here and
allow that the mistakes of my past or the lies
that I believe are going to allow these things to
dictate and control me, or am I gonna step up
against them. Our next one here is things that you
have to replace, and sometimes those are people. Sometimes there
are people in your life that you have to replace
(03:33):
because they're not benefiting the person that you are going
to be. They're not betefitting the chapter that you're they're
not benefiting anything in your life. They're only taking and stealing.
And while that's happening, you're losing. You need to replace
certain things, certain actions, certain habits, certain patterns in your
life because we cannot become accustomed to them. There are
certain things that we think that we can change or
can't change by just not doing it. I need to
(03:54):
understand that change doesn't happen by abstinence. You upstanding from
doing the thing doesn't mean that the thing doesn't exist.
That you're resisting it for now and resist absolutely, but
you have to replace it's resisting is not enough. Replacing
is what's going to make that think fully leave. If
you are in something in an addiction and a habit,
in a pattern and you are just resisting, eventually what's
gonna happen is you won't be able to resist. But
(04:15):
if you're replace that thing no longer exists. So replacing
things that are negative, that are killing, that are hurting
you for something positive that's gonna help you grow. That's
gonna be the thing that's not a catalyst. Because we
do certain things because it gives us dopamine dumps or
raises up a neffort, or it makes us feel. They're
hormonal responses, So we change certain things in our life.
It allows us to respond to those things and not
(04:36):
to the things of our past. You need to learn
to replace certain things. And then when it comes to people,
there are certain people that you've become accustomed to just
because they've been adjacent to you. Just because they're around
your life doesn't mean they have to stay. If they're
not serving you and loving you and helping you grow,
if they're just taking you back to a person that
you don't want to be, if they're just wasting your time,
you need to learn to replace them. Our next pieing
(04:56):
is we repeat cycles. And that's the reality because cycles easy, right,
there's an easy thought to just sit there and just
fall back into the thing that you've been in. It's
easy to just repeat the thing over and over again
because again, you don't have to do anything. You just
have to sit in this place of hurt that you've
already been in. When you keep repeating these cycles, you'll
consistently be in the thing that you don't want to
(05:16):
be in it. You don't want to live in this,
but you consistently go back to it because it's easy
to repeat the cycle when you identify with the cycle.
Is like example, if you know that every time you're mad,
you go out and you drink, and you drink until
you can put it away, and that's part of the cycle.
How do we interrupt that cycle? We choose today to
do the hard thing, to do the thing that's going
to make me feel out of place, going to make
me feel uncomfortable. It's gonna even for some people, it's
(05:38):
even gonna send you into a point of relapse and
you feel like you're just going crazy with it. But
you need to do the hard thing so that the
hard thing can become easy to prevent. You need to
go and identify that cycle and not choose to go
back into that because you know it's easy, but actually
do what's hard because you want to replace that because
you no longer want to continue in that resist until
you can replace. Our next poet is who cares anyway?
(06:02):
And who cares about the things that you do or
don't do. Why do you care that they care? Why
are you so opinionated about their opinion? Your life is
your life, and if you're not improving that it's because
of you. That's a you thing, that's your personal thing.
But you have to realize that improving is not for
proving other people wrong. It's not for making them feel bad.
It's not for doing that because if you're trying to
hurt somebody by doing better, you're not healing. You're hurt yourself,
(06:26):
and now you're trying to cause them vengeance. Vengeance is
not worthy. The word says the avenges of the Lord.
It's not yours. Stop worrying about vengeance, Stop worrying about
being this just to prove someone else wrong. You do
what you need to do because you need to do it.
You need to heal because you desire to heal, and
not because you want to hurt other people. You need
to succeed because you desire to succeed, and not because
(06:46):
you think it's going to be a not hob moment
to a person. So what they don't care. You shouldn't either.
You should not be living life to prove people wrong.
And in that same breath, you shouldn't be living life
to prove anything to anyone. You shouldn't be living your
life to sit here and justify or edify what they're
saying about you. Who cares? As long as you're the
one that's doing something for you, as long as you're
(07:08):
successful for you, as long as you love you, as
long as you grow to be the person that you
are made to be, that God has already this high
before time existed. If you grow into that person, that's
who matters. It doesn't matter what anyone else has to say,
because everyone's always going to have something to say. There's
always going to impeden. The peanut gallery is the loudest
place in this world because they always have something to say.
They don't know what's happening, they don't know what's working,
(07:29):
They don't know the inner parts of anything else but
their opinions. They think that those are gold, So what
let them have them. They shouldn't affect you in any way.
And finally, our last point is a life worth living.
Who wants to live a life where you're repeating cycles
of hating yourself. You need to live something that is
going to be beneficial and amazing for you and the
people around you. You need to live something that's actually
(07:50):
going to be worth living. A life worth living is
never about proving or helping other people or just making
things for other people. It's about you. It's about the
things you do, the next steps you take. It's about
the life that you live. But unfortunately, for a lot
of us, we're going to continue to live a life
that we hate because it's easy to do the easy thing.
(08:12):
It's easy to go back into the routine. It's easy
to go back into the root. It's easy to not
want to improve because again, why again, you're doing the
same thing over and over again, Why would you want
to improve? A life worth for living is hard, but
until you live it, until you choose to live the
good things, and you're going to consistently be the things
that suck live a good life.
So this is a very real reason why a lot
of us struggle to change, Like there's something in us
that desires should be different, to be new, to be
something more. But we still struggle with this reality. And
I need you to understand this that your biggest enemy
isn't your biggest hater, It isn't a friend, It isn't
a person that was in your life at some point.
Your biggest enemy is always gonna be you, Like you
(00:21):
are the biggest person that's gonna speak to you the
way that you're gonna either listen or ignore, or believe
or distrust. You are going to talk to you more
than anyone else in this world is ever gonna speak
to you. You are constantly in your mind. You're constantly
the one that's just going back to your brain. You're
constantly the one that has sit in this reality of
who you are. So I need you to understand that
(00:41):
if anything is gonna change, if anything's gonna become different,
there are some things that you have to break down
that you have become accustomed to. First of all, before
we dive into anything about this, you need to understand
that how you speak to you matters, Like you are
the person that's gonna advocate for you, be your biggest cheerleader,
or you're gonna be the one that's gonna damn and
demean you. You're gonna sit there and actually believe that
you're not worth anything because, believe it or not, your brain,
(01:04):
the way it works, the way it was wired, is
literally to trust to you. So if you tell yourself
repeatedly something, your brain is eventually going to create these
newer pathways in which it's going to actually believe whatever
you're saying. So if you tell yourself every single day
that you're terrible, that you can't make it, that you're
not going to succeed, that you're all these things, I
promise you you will believe that you will become those
things because that's the truth, that's what your brain believes.
(01:26):
So our first stage here, our first point here is
it's going to be you versus you. You need to
realize that you are in competition with no one else
in this world, and no matter how what they say
to you, maybe they might be in competition with you.
Right they might look at you and hate the things
you're doing, or hate the way that you're changing, or
hate the way you're improving. That's cool, that's on them,
But you are in competition with no one but yourself.
You are responsible for you. You're not responsible for answering to
(01:47):
other people. You're not responsible for evalidating their ego. You're
not responsible for giving them what they want. You are
responsible for you. You're responsible for the changes you make, for
how you improve, how you become better, for the places
in your life that you reas and growing. And it's
always going to be you versus you. But what happens
sometimes is that we think that we have to validate
other people, so we invalidate ourselves, allow ourselves to become
(02:09):
less because we think that what they're saying is so
important that we have to live for that. You need
to establish and nothing else matters. So you can love people,
you should care for people, you should give, and you
should be a good person to people. But at the
end of the day, the only person that you need
to worry about and improve about is you. Obviously, your
family is going to be things that are part of you,
right They're a part of your life, They're part of
who you are, and these are people that you're gonna
(02:30):
help improve. But you first, you can't lead without being
able to improve you. That whole plain analogy, right. You
can't save people. You can't put masks on other people
until the mass is on your face first. If you
don't worry about you, if you don't improve you, if
you don't worry about becoming the best version of you,
not to prove anyone wrong, not out of a place
of hurt, but out of a place of reality. Or
(02:51):
you're just tired of being in the same thing where
you're tired of feeling the same way. That's when things
are going to improve. When you decide that you're the best.
The only option that you have in this world to
fix is you, And trust me, it's a struggle. I've
wrestled with this. The more I learn, the more girl,
the more I'm trying to actually implement these things in
my own life, and I understand the struggle of it.
But at some point, if you do not wrestle with it,
(03:12):
it's gonna wrestle you. It's either you fight against it
or it just beats you up. You have to choose
what's gonna change. Am I going to sit here and
allow that the mistakes of my past or the lies
that I believe are going to allow these things to
dictate and control me, or am I gonna step up
against them. Our next one here is things that you
have to replace, and sometimes those are people. Sometimes there
are people in your life that you have to replace
(03:33):
because they're not benefiting the person that you are going
to be. They're not betefitting the chapter that you're they're
not benefiting anything in your life. They're only taking and stealing.
And while that's happening, you're losing. You need to replace
certain things, certain actions, certain habits, certain patterns in your
life because we cannot become accustomed to them. There are
certain things that we think that we can change or
can't change by just not doing it. I need to
(03:54):
understand that change doesn't happen by abstinence. You upstanding from
doing the thing doesn't mean that the thing doesn't exist.
That you're resisting it for now and resist absolutely, but
you have to replace it's resisting is not enough. Replacing
is what's going to make that think fully leave. If
you are in something in an addiction and a habit,
in a pattern and you are just resisting, eventually what's
gonna happen is you won't be able to resist. But
(04:15):
if you're replace that thing no longer exists. So replacing
things that are negative, that are killing, that are hurting
you for something positive that's gonna help you grow. That's
gonna be the thing that's not a catalyst. Because we
do certain things because it gives us dopamine dumps or
raises up a neffort, or it makes us feel. They're
hormonal responses, So we change certain things in our life.
It allows us to respond to those things and not
(04:36):
to the things of our past. You need to learn
to replace certain things. And then when it comes to people,
there are certain people that you've become accustomed to just
because they've been adjacent to you. Just because they're around
your life doesn't mean they have to stay. If they're
not serving you and loving you and helping you grow,
if they're just taking you back to a person that
you don't want to be, if they're just wasting your time,
you need to learn to replace them. Our next pieing
(04:56):
is we repeat cycles. And that's the reality because cycles easy, right,
there's an easy thought to just sit there and just
fall back into the thing that you've been in. It's
easy to just repeat the thing over and over again
because again, you don't have to do anything. You just
have to sit in this place of hurt that you've
already been in. When you keep repeating these cycles, you'll
consistently be in the thing that you don't want to
(05:16):
be in it. You don't want to live in this,
but you consistently go back to it because it's easy
to repeat the cycle when you identify with the cycle.
Is like example, if you know that every time you're mad,
you go out and you drink, and you drink until
you can put it away, and that's part of the cycle.
How do we interrupt that cycle? We choose today to
do the hard thing, to do the thing that's going
to make me feel out of place, going to make
me feel uncomfortable. It's gonna even for some people, it's
(05:38):
even gonna send you into a point of relapse and
you feel like you're just going crazy with it. But
you need to do the hard thing so that the
hard thing can become easy to prevent. You need to
go and identify that cycle and not choose to go
back into that because you know it's easy, but actually
do what's hard because you want to replace that because
you no longer want to continue in that resist until
you can replace. Our next poet is who cares anyway?
(06:02):
And who cares about the things that you do or
don't do. Why do you care that they care? Why
are you so opinionated about their opinion? Your life is
your life, and if you're not improving that it's because
of you. That's a you thing, that's your personal thing.
But you have to realize that improving is not for
proving other people wrong. It's not for making them feel bad.
It's not for doing that because if you're trying to
hurt somebody by doing better, you're not healing. You're hurt yourself,
(06:26):
and now you're trying to cause them vengeance. Vengeance is
not worthy. The word says the avenges of the Lord.
It's not yours. Stop worrying about vengeance, Stop worrying about
being this just to prove someone else wrong. You do
what you need to do because you need to do it.
You need to heal because you desire to heal, and
not because you want to hurt other people. You need
to succeed because you desire to succeed, and not because
(06:46):
you think it's going to be a not hob moment
to a person. So what they don't care. You shouldn't either.
You should not be living life to prove people wrong.
And in that same breath, you shouldn't be living life
to prove anything to anyone. You shouldn't be living your
life to sit here and justify or edify what they're
saying about you. Who cares? As long as you're the
one that's doing something for you, as long as you're
(07:08):
successful for you, as long as you love you, as
long as you grow to be the person that you
are made to be, that God has already this high
before time existed. If you grow into that person, that's
who matters. It doesn't matter what anyone else has to say,
because everyone's always going to have something to say. There's
always going to impeden. The peanut gallery is the loudest
place in this world because they always have something to say.
They don't know what's happening, they don't know what's working,
(07:29):
They don't know the inner parts of anything else but
their opinions. They think that those are gold, So what
let them have them. They shouldn't affect you in any way.
And finally, our last point is a life worth living.
Who wants to live a life where you're repeating cycles
of hating yourself. You need to live something that is
going to be beneficial and amazing for you and the
people around you. You need to live something that's actually
(07:50):
going to be worth living. A life worth living is
never about proving or helping other people or just making
things for other people. It's about you. It's about the
things you do, the next steps you take. It's about
the life that you live. But unfortunately, for a lot
of us, we're going to continue to live a life
that we hate because it's easy to do the easy thing.
(08:12):
It's easy to go back into the routine. It's easy
to go back into the root. It's easy to not
want to improve because again, why again, you're doing the
same thing over and over again, Why would you want
to improve? A life worth for living is hard, but
until you live it, until you choose to live the
good things, and you're going to consistently be the things
that suck live a good life.
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