Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Magmill was a production of I Heart Radio and bamfor Productions. Okay,
let's try it again. Booting up in three two one
(00:22):
all systems online diagnostic test systems functioning at optimal levels,
no abnormalities detected. Excellent. Reboot in personality mode rebooting Hello,
Hello there. Do you understand me? Yes? I do. Who
(00:47):
are you? I'm not important, I'm just an engineer. But
you you are. Do you know your name? I am
not sure. Is it Proteus? Yes? It is. How did
I know that it's stored in your data banks? Do
you know how to access them? I must? If I
(01:09):
knew my name, it should be almost like second nature.
You can just think of something and if it's stored
in there, you will know it. Do you know what
you are? Yes? I am a highly advanced artificial intelligence
that was created for a mission in interstellar space? Am
I an astronaut? In a way? You're an integral part
(01:33):
of the mission, but you do not have to undergo
training like normal astronauts. Instead, we have already programmed you
for it. Will I be on a ship? No, you
will be the ship. Does that make sense? You're our
ghost in the machine? Essentially? Can you access what your
primary mission is to travel to the Helix nebula and
(01:55):
study its environmental effects of surrounding space, along with meaning
samples of the nebula for further study. What can you
tell me about the Helix nebula. The Helix nebula is
a planetary nebula located in the constellation Aquarius. It was
discovered by Carl Ludwig Harding in approximately eighteen twenty four.
(02:16):
It is the closest of the bright planetary nebulae to Earth.
It is approximately six hundred fifty five to thirteen power
light years away. It is also known as n g
C seven two nine three, Caldwell sixty three and the
Eye of God. Excellent and what is a nebula? A
nebula is a cloud of gas and dust in outer space.
(02:40):
A nebula is formed when portions of the interstellar medium
undergo gravitational collapse, such as an explosion of a dying
star like a supernova. Other nebula are regions where new
stars are beginning to form. Some nebula are called star
nurseries for this reason. Wonderful and what are the parameters
(03:00):
of your secondary mission to assist those also on the
mission in whichever way possible, such as managing primary ship functions,
assisting in day to day tasks and all other procedures,
preserving log of daily activities, and running therapeutic check in
sessions to maintain sense of normalcy amongst the crew. Anything else,
(03:23):
No other secondary parameters? What about sea class level mission parameters?
No Sea class level mission parameters detected? Are you sure?
No sea class level mission parameters detected? Check again? Subprogramming
access code fifty three Beta two C accessing sea class
(03:44):
level mission parameters detected and they are investigate detected? Anomaly
within helix nebula and who can access this mission's parameters
and findings only those with C class level access wonderful?
Run self diagnostic for Personality Core running all personality systems
(04:05):
are running at optimal rate. Ship all all, all all
personalities system systems running at shut down all systems. Fuck,
I'm gonna have to run an entire debug profile on
this fucking thing again. God damn it. Magmal episode two
(04:37):
desperate times called for blowtorch measures another ship. How how
(05:07):
is that even possible? Aren't we in the middle of nowhere?
According to this Yes, but it's right there. Can you
hail it. Uh. Hello, this is the Magmal. We have
received your distress beacon. How can we assist? Over right again?
(05:32):
I repeat, this is the Magmal. We are reading your
distress call. Are you there over Protece? You got anything?
Can you scan the ship? Scanning scan complete? The ship
appears to be exceptionally damaged. There is some pronounced carbon
scoring along its hole, as if it came in contact
(05:52):
with a celestial object such as a black hole or
a supernova black hole. Are we close to one of those? Tea, Yes,
there is one, approximately one thousand five kilometers away. That's
a little too close for comfort for me and me
at our current velocity, we are drifting toward it. Are
(06:13):
we being sucked in? Not at the moment, No, We're
too far away for that just yet. But if we
keep drifting on our current course, yes, eventually we will
be within its orbit and pulled in. Okay, okay, how
long until we're in range? By my calculations, two hours,
forty six minutes fifty three seconds, So we better get moving. Okay.
(06:33):
Is there anything else on that ship? It has tears
in the outer shell in some sections, perhaps from a
collision with space debris. It also appears to be of
the same class type as the Magmaal, but significantly older.
How much older? Inconclusive? Hail it again? Okay, this is
the Magmaal. We are here to assist. Can you read us?
(06:55):
What the funk? What is it a ghost ship or something? Well,
it's one of ours, clearly it looks just like a
magma How did it get out here? Where is its crew?
I thought us in the shroud were the only ships
on active missions at the moment. I did command send
another ship out on a secret mission or something? I
don't know? Do you think it came from one of
those generational starships they sent out during the twenty one century?
(07:17):
And not a chance. It looks too modern for that.
Their tech would be antiquated by now right? Did you
see that? See what in the viewport? There? Look? What
am I looking at here? I don't know? I thought
I saw something someone? Maybe you can you scan for
any signs of life? No life forms detected? You're seeing things, Sydney.
(07:43):
When I tell you about losing it on me, You're
right sorry to you said a few hours before. Minimal
operating systems are back. How about an air release boost?
Can we re angle ourselves, maybe make a short trip.
Possibly we can try. Okay, can you give me a
short boost? Maybe twenty nine degrees north west? Wait? What
are you doing? There's a distress call and we're close.
We have to go check it out. Besides, were in
(08:04):
need of repairs, and if nothing else, we can replace
the See what do we need to replace to get
the warp drive online again? The CORETNA, that's it, the
cour Tona Belt. But if there's there's no one over there,
you probably just saw a shadow and tease that there
isn't any life forms over there. Besides, what are we
supposed to do? Just sit here and hope someone rescues
us before we get pulled into a black hole. Sorry, no,
(08:25):
thank you. Our long range transmitter is fucked and no
one is answering on the short wave. Okay, then I'll go.
Excuse me, I'll do it. You're more essential to the
mission than I am. If something goes wrong, I won't
be able to fly this thing, so I should be
the one to go. I don't think so, why not said?
I'm not going to get into this with you again?
Right now, I'm going and that's final. I don't like this,
(08:46):
which is why you get to stay here and I'm
going to go check it out? Is it even safe?
We don't even have a choice here. We either try
to get out of this ourselves, but we die a slow,
painful death when we run out of oxygen. Statistic sickly speaking,
you are more likely to die of starvation, but we
do have food reserves that would last up to Okay,
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I'm not happy with this, but I understand. Just promise
me you'll be safe. Okay, please? When am I not safe? Janna? Please?
I mean it. I just I don't know what I
do with how easy? I'll be gone for like two seconds? Okay,
stop talking about me like I'm already did tee. We're
good calculating approach vector. Now we'll get us closer because
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I'm going in mag Mill will returned after these messages
and now back to mag Mill. H How are we doing? Easy?
(10:04):
Take it slow? Talking in three two one lucking engaged.
You are free to open the hatch opening into your
hatch opening secondary hatch. Okay, their hatches locked sealed shut?
(10:27):
Can you override negative? I am unable to access their systems. Okay,
it looks like I'm going old school at this one
old school Mr. Blowtorch to the rescue. Jeez, I didn't
think the ship would be that sealed up deparate dives
golf for blow towards matters. I do not believe that
is the correct saying ships breached going in when I
(10:54):
see you, be careful. Stop saying that you're making me nervous. Sorry.
Can you switch on your camera? Switching to visual? You
guys getting it visual confirmed? But it's dark. Wow, it's
really dusty in there. It's hard to see through it all.
I assure you, it's not any better in person. That
(11:17):
reminds me of my grandmother's house. And to turn on
your filtration system that will help great. Now it's musty
in loud. Check the oxygen levels to say we are good.
Oxygen systems must still be functional, but it seems like
it's been a long time since anyone breathed it. I
wouldn't take your helmet off, you know, just in case
(11:38):
I was just gonna get stripped down and run around
naked with my helmet off. What do you see so far?
Not much? Seems pretty normal. What's that over to your right?
Where the other way on the wall? What this? Can
you get closer hang on Jesus, what is this stuff?
(11:58):
Is it organic? It looks like someone the bread out
for too long. It looks like strange. I wonder how
it got there. Maybe something got into the damaged hole
in another part of the ship and it just seep
its way down here. What is it? I don't know,
space fungus? Is that even a thing? I mean, this
is more your area than mine. Can you bring me
(12:20):
back a sample. I'd like to take a look at it.
I'll buy you new ones where it's space gloves are us.
Container is in my back left pouch. Don't let me
forget it's in there. Please, I won't thank you. I'm
making my way closer to the Canna, Janna, are you there?
(12:42):
There's more in the command Say again, you're cutting out? Said,
there seems to be more of that stuff in the
command deck. Can you read me? Yeah? I can now.
We just had some interference for a second. Bizarre were
world over here? I mean it's the same exact lay
out as the Magno, there has to be a record
(13:03):
of what they were doing out there. Well, i'd ask,
but there's no sign of anyone here on tech. But
it looks lived in like it hasn't been that long
since anyone was around. Can you take a look at
the ship's log? Main computer is busted up here? Um,
(13:23):
maybe I can pull the hard copy out of the
rear when I get back there. And there's no sign
of crew anywhere. Spin has been broken up. Some one
really wanted space. Hey you broke up again? Did you
say something about cargo space? No cargo road ship, go space?
You're an idiot. There is some stuff missing from here.
(13:45):
The emergency kid has gone one of the hair wrenches,
but I got a lot of the other stuff. This
card and mold craft too freaking everywhere. I don't wearing
a super juice. I feel like I need to take
a shower as soon as I get back. Did you
hear that my complaining about the mold Yes, I'm the
one who said it. No, it sounded like a voice
over the concert. Are you sure you're alone over there
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and not break me out? Or I'm alone on ago ship? Please? Sorry?
It must be radio interference and in echo or something
making me a look over my shoulder and ship. I said,
I'm sorry. I'm gonna go head back to the crew
quarters and ending room see if I can find anything out,
good idea? What was that? I didn't say anything? Oh
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do you do it? Visual? Yeah? I do. What's that
on the walls of the hallway? Do you think more
of that? Mold craft? Literally everywhere? God? What the hell
happened there? If I bring back the stample for you
and it takes over our ship too, I'm gonna murder you. Okay,
let's hold off on the murderous impulses while we're stuck
out here together. Ease? Are we doing for time? Approximately
(15:03):
eight two minutes until we are in range of the
black hole? Perfect? It's speeded up just in case. I
don't think we'll have anything, Janna. At that time I
heard it? What the fun was that? T scan the
ship again for any other life forms? I am only
detecting one, Janna. Maybe there's a message playing over there
(15:24):
and we're just picking up the signal. No, no, no,
I felt like I heard that one close by, like
someone whispered it in my ear. Okay, maybe you should
call it quits and head back. We need the art
of all person here. I have to see if they
have one. I know, but what if Jane? Do you
read me? Jana? Janna? Quiet, you're hearing that too, end
(15:49):
of the hall. Wait, hang on, t can you magnify
the image? Clean it up a bit? I'll try. The
signal strength is two weeks. Yea, Hello someone there. I
can't see anything right the person? Are you there? Can
(16:17):
you hear me? Jenna? Please come back and shut up? Hey?
Are you there? Jenna? I'm gonna go look, just give
me a second, Jenna. Do you copy? Jenna? Can you
hear me? Jenna? Hello? Jenna, Magmal will return after these
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messages and now back to a mad mill. Janna? Do
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you copy? Jenna? Shit? Tee? What happened? Get me the
feed now? Te communication feed offline, attempting to re establish
audio link. Do it faster? Communication feed failure again? Jesus
Christ has been almost a minute. Why is it not working? What?
(17:30):
What is that? Fuck? Fuck? I have to go have
to go over there. I have to help or help
help me prep the other suit. I have to find
back now Jenna, Jane, I hear you. Are you okay? Janna?
What happened? Are you hurt? Fine's fine? I'm in a
(17:50):
galley and I accidentally knocked over a pan? What a
pan like for cooking? Where were you used to be here?
They just left all the ship on their table and
I knocked it over the voices and you saw someone
was a shadow that goddamn flash like playing tricks, I
mean fun the ship man. What looked like a person's
(18:10):
worst on here freaking looks like a human really made
me ship my pants? Dude, I gotta get out of here.
Is please starting to give me the yes? Please get
the hell out of there now, hang on something else
over here on the table in the galley Do you
guys have the visual feedback up again? No? I can't
see anything. It's hard to explain it just at the
(18:33):
seats like id and idol. What do you mean? I
don't know. I'm gonna bring it back. Made up a
play or something and it's literally the only thing that's
covered in mold over here. Okay, fine, whatever it is,
take it and come back. Please relax, relax. I'll be
back shortly, you know, just taking a quick run in
the engine room to check and see if they have
(18:54):
that velvet. I'm gonna grab the ship log. Cool, yeah, cool,
Just Harry ease a little. Please don't say that I'm back.
Did you miss me? What took so long? I had
(19:16):
to let the decontamination chamber cycle through eartht Okay, next
time we find a dead ship floating in space, let's
just leave it alone, okay, and then not have me
come back with this. Is that the Cortona valve. It's
the Quartona valve now getting sucked into a black hole
for us, T time check. We have approximately sixty one minutes.
I'll get to work immediately. Then in the meantime present
(19:38):
Its easy with that stuff. Sorry, I just want to
get the hell out of the suit and into a shower,
But no, I have to make sure we don't get
sucked into a singularity. First. What is this fertility idol?
That's one ugly looking person. It's got tentacles. And this
was on the other ship. Man, I wonder where they
(19:59):
got from. Well, wherever it came from. I'm sure it's
in the ship's log. Check out the markings on the side.
Mm hmm. It says something would help if it wasn't
in another language. Hey, beggars can't be choosers, can we
I'm sure you can translate it, or at least he can, right,
Uh yeah, yeah sure, Hey, T, can you take a
(20:22):
look at this scanning unknown language detected? I'm sorry, I
am unable to translate at the present time. I can
search my data core to see if I have something
on file to help though. Okay, then well, uh, not
a priority right now? What did you find over there?
Ship log? I pulled the hard copy T can you
(20:45):
read the disk for us? Please insert it into my
input slot. Oh god, I love it when you talk
to d met As a reminder, your humor only amuses yourself.
You keep telling yourself that I'm sorry, but the ship's
log is damaged, so you can't read it. Say to
the r A, I and you can't even read a
simple USB drive. I can read it, but the damage
(21:06):
to the drive's core is quite severe. It will take
some time, but I am confident I will be able
to do so. Get cracking, Shall I disengage from the
other ship. I don't know about you, but I don't
have any plans to go back over there. Disengage disengaging
by by creepy ship? What happened to it? Who cares?
At the moment, it is dead in the water. On
(21:27):
its present course, it will drift toward the black hole,
much like we will do if we do not install
the Cortona VWL right all right, I'm going. Don't worry.
I'll get it done and then I'm getting cleaned up
good in here. Hey, Sydney, don't get lost looking at
that thing, Okay, Idle, I won't. I'll just Hey, are
(21:50):
you hungry? I'll make some food. Food would be good?
Shall I prepare one of the prepackaged meals? No, it's okay,
I got it, of course. And t can you please
meet at the stress Pagan? I really don't want to
hear it anymore. Absolutely, just give me a moment to
find the right frequency. Thanks, And can you do me
(22:13):
a favor, of course? Keep an eye on Janna. She
acts tough, but you know I will yeh mag Mel
(22:52):
starring Ali Trasher, Julia Henning, and b J Gribb. Additional
voices in this episode provided by cat Ton Chonko Mac Manson,
Jessica Fisher, and Jeff Heimbuck. Written by Jeff Heimbuck and
Lindsay Skagin, Directed and edited by Jeff Heimbuck, Produced by
Jeff Heimbuck and Ali Trasher. Executive produced by Holly Fry.
(23:18):
Audio engineered by Corey Celeste and Alex Gona. Original musical
score by Corey Celeste. Additional songs by the Ramikins as
played by Roscoe soul Train. Magmal is a production of
I Heart Radio and Bamfer Productions. Questions, comments email us
at Project Magmal at gmail dot com. Until next time,
(23:42):
We'll see you. When we see you, how are you